S4 Ep66: Two Truths and A Lie: Monday, April 12th, 2021

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Happy Monday, unfortunately.

Unfortunately.

I'm so sorry, everyone.

You thought...

that Monday was going to take you down, but Jackie and I are here to literally do the exact opposite.

Not only do we have a sickening show for you that's going to sicken the Monday down, we are also sporting our latest merch collection, the 100%

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We'll be highlighting some of the products throughout the next few days.

Different colors.

Yes, we have a lot of different colors.

We also have a hat that is the cutest hat that I've been wearing just like around the city and I just feel so fabulous in it.

So we'll be showing you everything.

I'm so obsessed with this collection.

I'm wearing the teal sweatshirt and matching sweatpants that have a 100% on the thigh.

100%.

I'm wearing the black, obviously, that has a

down the leg.

And I just really am so excited that this collection is finally here.

We've been planning it for so long.

And I think the people have known that it's coming, but I don't think they expected it to be this sickening.

Yeah, they've known that it's coming and we've also reached like peak hundred percent.

Yeah, you know,

we've been saying it for months, but like the amount that we said it last week was probably more than we've said it in all the months combined.

So it was like we had to drop it.

Well, we were actually like on one last week.

Like I don't know if there was somebody in the water here at Toast Studio, but like I was re-watching the episodes like my God, we were just like on another planet last week.

Like especially just like with like the random shit we were saying like Velma Thelma.

Like what?

Like what was that joke?

I don't even remember.

Like you said.

No, of course I don't.

No, it's because the doo-to-doo song.

Right, right, right.

is Scooby-Doo.

But we won't go into it.

Because do to do is not even here.

And because we still don't know, is it Velma or Thelma?

And you know what?

I kind of like the unknown, you know?

I don't want to know.

I don't want to know.

Can it be both?

Right.

Like, why can't it be both?

Why can't we, why do we have to choose?

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We will highlight some more products throughout the week.

Make sure to be following us on Instagram, The Morning Toast, for all the content, all the items, and so you don't miss out on the drop.

Yeah, it's going to be so sickening.

But other than that, it is still a Monday.

And like, this one is hitting harder, different, worse than ever before.

It's hitting different.

I literally woke up with a pit in my stomach and I was like trying to to identify the pit, and there were so many sources.

Oh, look at them.

Just like, I just feel so

in disarray, you know?

I just feel like I have so much to do mentally, physically, like, actual, like, logistically, and I'm just, I've been putting it off, and I don't want to do it.

Okay, that's interesting because I actually woke up, obviously, like, not with a pit, but just with like a kind of like a chip on my shoulder, like the fact that it's Monday, and like, somehow that's my problem when I literally like just did Monday through Friday two days ago.

Like, how, sick, how is this?

Sick!

How is this happening again like I just refused like I actually cannot wrap my mind around that concept like like I just did it but whatever I also woke up with an with a can-do attitude I just feel like this is our week you know you're it's your it's the last week before you go on your retreat so you're not here next week next week I'm holding down the forward with Ben and then I'm going to Florida for the second half of the week so like this is you know where this is a dare to be great situation it is a great week because it's like the last one before I'm going on my retreat but maybe because I have my retreat next week I'm just like this is a waste of the week younger it is Like you're already.

No, like, yeah, let me go on my retreat.

You know, I'm just waiting.

And by the way, I don't know if I've updated everyone, but I've booked my retreat.

It is happening.

I will keep you all posted.

Obviously, I'll be vlogging for the Patreon.

And I'm really excited.

I'm excited to just.

Cross it off my list, you know?

Yeah, no, and we're at this itch.

Where you ended up is like a good facility.

Like I feel very comfortable sending you off there, not wondering like if you're getting mauled by a bear in the woods.

Yeah, so I feel really good about it.

And I'll keep you all abreast, of course, because you guys are on this journey with me like as much as anyone.

And I really appreciate everyone's support and we're gonna, we're gonna be in this together, though I will truly be doing it alone.

And I haven't had like a solitary experience like that in so long.

I feel like I'm gonna go back to like high school version me.

It's like, oh my God, how do I make friends?

Like, how do I talk to new people?

Like,

is that something that happens at the retreat?

Like, you make friends?

I think you get like in groups.

And so other people will probably be alone, but like some people will probably be like with friends or something.

So it's gonna be, it's going to be like

personally challenging.

Well, if you just bring your Kindle, like you're fine.

Yeah, no, that's, I, I'm not worried about that, but I do feel like there'll be like icebreakers, you know, two truths and a lie.

Okay, so let's put it on.

Two truths and a lie is my motherfucking cross to bear.

It's the hardest fucking icebreaker because like, I think it's harder to come up with a truth.

Like, what are, who cares?

Like, I wouldn't even know what to say.

So let's come up with yours.

Oh, my God.

No, I literally can't.

Okay.

Oh, okay.

So the lie is obviously, I'm not a natural redhead.

Like, you should say that because like that's dumb and people probably think you're not a natural redhead, which you are.

So say that.

And then for your truths,

I have to speak my truth.

No, I know.

It's so important.

And it's my truth.

No one else is.

No one else is.

So like, what's like a crazy thing you've like done?

Like nothing like you're so boring.

Like.

No, like you don't have like some people like when they were babies They were born with three legs like some people have like crazy like an extra toe like you don't have anything like that.

Yeah, yeah, no

I Don't know.

That's why I literally hate this game.

And I, it's so hard.

I'm so sorry that I brought it up.

Like, now I have to prolong it.

Like, it's worse that I have to play it.

No, but if we come out with them now, it's bad enough that I have to play it there, but like to bring it into my personal space.

But I'm just trying to prepare you for what could be like a painful icebreaker.

I know.

I just sort of like panic and then I'm like, I'm allergic to bees.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's my, I don't know.

Yeah, you are.

You are.

Not really.

I had a bad experience once, but like since then, things have been.

I'm sorry.

If you get stung by a bee and then have to go to the hospital, like you are allergic to bees.

But then like later in life, I got stung by a bee and I was fine.

So me, I think my working theory is that the hospital experience, it wasn't a bee.

It was a different big ass.

Oh no,

I've been stung by a wasp.

Do you know that TikTok sound?

No.

The fact that you like aren't on TikTok as much as I am is so upsetting because like Margot would have understood my.

But why don't you explain it to us?

Because I think a lot of people are like, that's the thing about TikTok sounds.

You can't explain that.

I feel like you do a good job of explaining them.

And then like I'm in on the joke and I literally will like say TikTok lines that I've never even seen.

I've been stunned by a wasp.

I actually like can't explain that one.

Like I don't know the origins of TikTok.

It sounds pretty self-explanatory.

It's

so funny.

Yeah.

Also, speaking of TikTok, we went to dinner last night with Dom Roberts.

We finally got to meet Dom and Kenzie and we were talking about TikTok and I looked at my screen time last week.

You guys,

someone needs an, someone needs a fucking wellness retreat.

Okay, so

an unplugged wellness retreat.

But like for me, like my idea of wellness is like laying in bed scrolling on TikTok.

But so last week, I spent over the course of the entire week, 24 hours on TikTok, which is literally an entire day.

It was actually 25 hours.

So I'm just kind of like dealing with that, you know?

Like,

you should.

I don't know how to internalize the fact that I lost a whole day of my life.

Of your week.

Of my week.

Imagine how many days of your life you've lost.

Do I know?

Probably a hundred.

No.

Well, no, you've only been TikTok for like over a year, but if you're losing one day a week,

52 days.

Yeah, no, it's like really crazy, you guys.

So I'm just kind of like working through that and trying to like

digest and internalize it.

And like, what do I do with that piece of information?

Because you need to do something.

No, I know.

It's been like shaking me in my core like ever since I found that out.

Good.

Maybe you set like a screen time limit on TikTok because even though you'll go over it, obviously, like it'll be there like nagging you and maybe you'll just be more conscious of it.

No, that's like an alarm.

Like I'll just stay set.

You should go on a retreat where you have to like turning your cell phone.

No, I just like need to.

The The thing is, it's like so or you know what some people consider it 24 hours spent on doing my job.

Like it is my job to be kept abreast to all the trans and Gen Z news.

It's not going to cut.

I hear what you're saying and I think that that's like a good

rationale for you know a lot of our technology addiction and like TV, but that's a step too far.

But here's the thing.

I'm like not watching TV anymore because I'm literally sitting in bed watching TikTok.

What about a challenge?

Like we'll hold you accountable here at the toast and we will give you three hours a day okay let me see what I did I mean yesterday I was like hungover so I probably had more than average three time no that's still almost I'm sorry I was wrong one hour a day oh you get one hour so yesterday and then we're gonna look at your week next week I won't be here exciting okay yesterday I had two hours that's not bad no

Saturday

Two hours

It's pretty much two hours a day.

I guess that makes sense.

Two times seven.

Oh, no.

Maybe I just had like a really bad week last week.

Apparently, you were on one.

Oh, I mean, on Monday of last week, I had four hours.

So, like, I think we should try and get you to an hour a day.

Yeah, I think so, too.

And we'll follow up next week.

Last week, I had a chance to turn on the thing that says, like, you're approaching your time limit.

Wow.

Add limit.

Yeah.

How long should I do one hour?

Hour and a half?

No, do an hour.

You might go over.

It doesn't like lock you out, but that way you're trying to get it on the right.

But then, by the way, today I'm already at 20 minutes.

you have 40 minutes left spend them wisely that is so little now you won't be like frivolous frivolously like looking through tick tock but they make me happy like i don't know why there's like a stigma around screen time when like i'm literally at my happiest like scrolling tick tock mindlessly because it's so unproductive and you waste a whole day of your life like looking at other people probably inevitably comparing yourself to this person that person like it does it doesn't yeah yeah sure every once in a while you see a tick tock that's like uplifting but most of the time it's like detrimental to mental health you know like because i'm like so like much prettier than everyone on TikTok.

It's like actually not fair of me to even like be on TikTok because I'm like so much prettier and skinnier than everyone.

Yeah, and younger.

And younger, and like just funnier.

And it's sad for everyone else, you know?

I should get off TikTok to help other people's mental health because they're probably comparing themselves to me.

And it's like, oh my god, like I'll never be as stunning, beautiful, and smart as this girl.

Like, maybe, maybe for the betterment of my generation, I should just take a step back.

Whatever it takes.

Whatever it takes.

Whatever it takes.

I know I can make it through.

What song is that?

It's the theme song from.

Yes.

I'm going to need a minute.

Okay, I'm going to give you a clip.

It's like a California-based show.

I don't know where this

California vibes.

At one point in our childhood, we were banned from watching it because it was like a little inappropriate.

Oh, Degrassi.

Yeah.

Canada.

Yeah, no, it's Canada, right?

It's Canada.

No, I was just thinking, I thought it was maybe going to be like 90210 or like Full House.

I know I'm going to be a little bit too.

Same era.

Okay, also, if anybody wants to do the TikTok challenge with Claudia, like please feel free to join.

Share your screen times.

We're getting to an hour a day on the talk.

An hour a day, but like

that's so hard.

Sometimes self-care looks like hard work.

Literally.

Literally.

Okay.

Okay.

Also, I just wanted to share like an experience that I had over the weekend because, you know,

I feel like I come on here a lot and like talk shit about Zara.

And I stand by literally everything I've ever said about Zara.

Like the website is an atrocity.

Like just like make it make it easy for us.

Like make it work.

But I went to Zara on saturday and i don't even want to say it because i don't want everyone to go to zara and then like we'll all be wearing the same things but like the zara summer collection like is here and it might be their most sickening yet like i literally picked up like 15 things the dressing rooms are closed because of covet so i just like picked up a bunch of things and i'm like i'll just return whatever i don't wear did not return one single thing like so sickening and they've really gotten better with their sizing inclusivity and i just like wanted to give a shout out because like i'm always talking about zara but they did that like summer 2021 like they fucking did that sweet okay i might go i literally need to shop for new clothes i know and like i literally got a whole new wardrobe in 10 minutes like i just like was picking up and i'm like half of this won't fit but i will come back and return it and it's like kind of like added like i think it's really contributing to my good attitude like on this monday because i'm like okay like we're stepping into spring and like i have a hot fire wardrobe you're prepared like not prepared fully but like i will be going back and i saw tick tock see this is why i need to i saw tick tock that the most underrated um Zara in all of Manhattan is the Hudson Yards one because Hudson Yards is a luxury mall so people go there not for Zara they go for like the Neiman Marcus even though it went out of business um and because it's the biggest it went out of business yeah like that whole thing is going out of business the Neiman Marcus at Hudson Yards closed I'm almost 100% did you not know that I don't know maybe I did but I double checked I feel like you told me I didn't absorb it no but I heard Neiman Marcus was like filing for bankruptcy but that doesn't mean that they closed which is the Neiman Marcus was so nice which is really confusing okay Neiman Marcus Hudson Yards permanently closed Wow yeah it was really sad but because like most people don't go to Zara don't go to Hudson Yards for Zara and it's also the biggest they have like literally every size every item it's like the most in-stock zara in all of manhattan so that's a little kept secret that i just blew up and that blew up on tick tock so maybe i'll do that this week sweet sounds fun yeah um

other than that i need to get to zara now i know and zara zara twins on the day yeah right

cool cool Cool, cool.

Should we get into everything?

Yeah, we got the fast five.

We got Real House Size of Atlanta recap.

So I just feel like without further ado.

Yeah, without further ado, it's time for the Fast Five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

And I'm very excited because today's episode is brought to you by Public Goods, and I've been using their products for like a few weeks now, and I've just been waiting to come into the studio, and this piece of paper is on my desk

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So there's so many benefits to Public Goods, of course, like being a sustainable brand and being able to shop for everything in one place, but like the products, sickening.

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the aesthetic, like, can we talk about the aesthetic?

Yeah.

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Yeah, no, it's really exciting.

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And it was amazing.

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Like, not chemically either.

Everything about it is so subtle and sickening.

No, I agree.

Like, when I hosted you out on Friday, which was one of the most overwhelming things I've ever done, like, we'll never be hosting again, I use the cleaner on everything.

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Okay, first story.

DMX, the rapper and actor, dies at the age of 50.

His family has announced in a statement.

They said, quote, We are deeply saddened to announce today that our loved one, DMX, birth name of Earl Simmons, passed away at 50 years old at White Plains Hospital with his family by his side after being placed on life support for the past few days.

Earl was a warrior who fought till the very end.

He loved his family with all of his heart, and we cherished the times we spent with him.

It's really sad.

He'd been on life support for like a week, right?

Yeah.

Because, like, in the beginning of the week, we reported on it.

Yeah, we reported on it last week.

It's so sad, and all weekend, there have been like tributes coming out, like videos that are going viral.

Yeah, I saw that one.

Everyone keeps tagging me in this tweet about

it which is really crazy.

I know.

And I guess like what's so, what I've like kind of gathered from all of people's tributes is like how influential like in the music space he was.

Like I think he was a little bit before our time,

but it's been made very clear like in the hip-hop space, like his legacy like lives on.

So I'm just really sad for his family and I hope that they're all doing okay.

Yes, hope everyone is doing okay.

Really sad.

I saw they're considering doing like a memorial in Yonkers for him.

Oh, nice.

Which would be amazing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So

just

really sad and amazing legacy to see like everyone sharing.

Also, I feel like all weekend my whole timeline was flooded with like DMX tributes and Prince Philip.

Yes.

But the big question has been answered.

Prince Harry will be going to his funeral.

Megan will be staying home under doctor's orders because of her pregnancy.

But just really quickly, while you brought up DMX and Prince Philip, can we talk about Carrie Washington for a second?

Yeah.

Carrie Washington got like canceled over the weekend because she tweeted something out that was like not offensive, but just like kind of weird.

She's like,

what'd she say she said uh can't you just imagine what dmx and prince philip are talking about at the pearly gates right now like such a beautiful like thinking of both of them and

she deleted it after like getting annihilated on twitter and i was trying to like see why people like were so upset about it because it to me it wasn't offensive it was just like a cringy losery thing to say like there's just like a weird thought like they don't know each other they're definitely not even together and like some people are like prince philip's in hell like people are so annoying so i didn't really understand why she got canceled.

But, like, if anything, I would just be like embarrassed, like, because that was like a lame tweet.

Yeah, I mean, that's all it is.

At least for me, I don't think there's anything really offensive about it.

It's just like a weird thing.

Like, a weird thought to have.

Yeah, and then also share.

But, oh, and share.

Yeah.

I think C-H-E-R.

I'm like, well, what did she tweet?

Oh, she's always tweeting.

She's always getting

a weird thought to have for sure.

I don't know that it's grounds for canceling, but you know, there's the

lawlessness now.

It's lawlessness.

Yeah.

So, yes, i did see that because you showed it to me because i was just like so confused i'm like am i not missing something like from this tweet like that's offensive

but no it was just like cringy yeah but sorry back to prince harry well now prince harry has arrived in the uk two days after um prince philip's death and he will be attending the funeral i'm glad sans megan how far along is megan

i don't know

I'm not, it doesn't say.

Yeah, because like, I'm sure she does not want to go, and the pregnancy is like a fabulous excuse.

Yeah, it's a fabulous excuse.

It would be really awkward.

I think it's awkward that Harry's going.

It's literally a month after this whole Oprah interview.

Like, and you, you, you made your bed lay in it.

No, I completely agree.

Like, I think it's weird.

Like, this will be the first time they're seeing each other.

I think in over a year, also, because of COVID, it's like his first time going back to

the UK.

And if I, like, just

stay home.

No, it's weird.

Like,

especially because I think it's going to be like a super small affair.

Because of COVID.

So

if he had stayed in California, like, it wouldn't have been such a big deal because you could say COVID, you know?

Yeah, I just, like, don't understand Harry like completely because, like, he did go

on this interview and, like, kind of, you know, air his family's dirty laundry.

So, like, which, do you like your family or do you not like your family?

Like, I'm confused because if you love your family, like, you, even if, like, they've wronged you, you don't go on TV and like, you know,

air your dirty laundry.

Yeah.

So I'm just confused.

I'm glad he's going because like that's the type of thing you can't take back.

Like if you make a decision in anger and like you're going to be.

But also like a tell-all interview is also the sort of thing you can't take back.

Yeah, no, no, no, I know.

So it's done.

I'm just, I'm really confused at this point.

But

Megan not going,

I'm not confused by like, don't go.

Yeah.

Like that tracks.

She's being consistent.

Harry's not being consistent.

100%.

Which is it?

Like, which is it?

Yeah.

You can't have it both ways.

Yeah.

So.

And it's just going to be like literally awkward.

Like, so everyone knows their business.

Like, we know that him and William are on good terms, and now we know Kate was the one who made Megan cry.

Like, we like we know too much.

He just like blew this shit up, and now he's like going back.

Like, hey, guys, I'm back.

And also, everybody's grieving.

Like, it's just not about him for like one second, and now he has to come and make it about him.

Yeah.

You know?

Like, I'm sure in Prince Philip's final days, like, this was a very big source of stress.

Yeah.

And I'm not saying that he should or shouldn't go.

I think he should go

i

it's a tough situation but i do think he should go

yes in the sense because like it is something like that's something again that you can't take back and you'll regret and it's like

at a certain point like family and death like that conquers all you know like you just are there for your family and this is one of those situations i think so

I think him going is the right decision, but it does make all this news, you know, which I just think like the royal family is just like over the news for now.

They could like use a little break.

And they also like they have a lot of healing to do as a family, right?

And maybe this is when they'll do it.

But like there's other, there's other things going on.

Like it's the celebration of Prince Philip's life.

Like they'll heal another time because like any other time.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah, no, it's um it's a tough spot.

Like I don't know what's the right thing, but I do think he should go to the funeral.

I'm glad he is going.

And I don't think Megan should go and I'm glad she's not going.

And I'm sure she's glad to not be going.

Yeah.

Even though it actually doesn't track because like in the interview when they were in the chicken coop, she was like, no, like we talked to that, we spoke to Gran, you know, last week when, you know, Philip got sick.

So.

According to them, like they've been on good terms with Granada.

The grandparents and they went out of their way to tell Oprah.

They resume with, but that was all pre-tell-all.

No, but they, after the tell-all, they went out of their way to say the person who made the comment about Archie's skin color was not Gran or grandpa.

Right.

So it's like they've kind of been protecting in their own way.

Yes, but in doing the tell-all they inadvertently like have yeah no you can't protect somebody

have tried like to

ruin like their life's work like this was the queen like the royal being royals being the king and queen are

not king sorry queen consort prince prince is their life's work and Harry and Megan have made that much more challenging.

Yeah, I mean, but they also

right, like they, they, what I gathered from their interview was that, like, they did not want to insult or like tarnish the name of Philip or Grad.

Like, they kind of protected them in the interview, whether they were actually

good to them or not.

Like, it, that was clearly something that was important to Harry.

But

it's kind of like

one of them is all of them, you know?

Like, 100%.

So it doesn't even, yeah.

100%.

Yeah.

So we shall see.

We shall see.

I just can imagine the tension.

Like,

and you know, like, I

can't imagine that Harry thought he'd be seeing his family so soon after the interview.

But, like, that's what happens.

Life happens, death happens, and now we're all in a room together.

Yeah.

Let's talk about it.

Maybe they'll make a maybe it will be, maybe it'll be Prince Philip's final gift to the family.

Everyone coming together.

And that would be a great episode of The Crown, like, where it just kind of like his death brings everyone together.

They all apologize.

They love each other.

Harry and Megan move back, resume their royal duties.

And then Megan can, like,

for me, like, what I was so upset about this whole thing is, like, of course, there's so many things I could be annoyed at, but like, what I was annoyed at is the fact that, like, Megan Markle, like, could have been an integral part of the royal family if they had let her.

She's so charismatic.

She's, you know, a sign of progress for the royal family.

Like, the potential there that we never got, like, that was what was so upsetting in terms of, like, representation.

And so if we could, if there's any possibility, like, that she could, like, be that, I'm sure she does not want to, but, like, I would just love that.

I know.

I don't think there's, I hear what you're saying.

I know.

that ship has sailed.

Completely.

It's not happening.

I know.

But they will have to all figure out how to

move forward and if they want to like stay in touch.

So this could be step one for all of that.

It could.

We'll keep you abreast.

Even though

it's not like we're going to be in those rooms, so we just have to go off like tabloid reports, which are so false.

I don't know.

From the crown, I know like the crown is fiction, whatever.

From the crown, it kind of like makes it seem like sometimes more often than not, like some of the tabloid rumors are like founded on truth.

Or maybe the crown only addresses the ones that are true.

Oh, that's possible.

Yeah.

You know, the ones that remember that.

I mean, there's so many.

Yeah.

You know, like every day it's something different.

Yeah.

Okay, ready for our next story?

A little sports news?

A little sports news, yeah.

Are you ready for a little sports news?

Because the masters tournament

this weekend, history has been made as Hidiki Matsuyama makes history.

He wins the 2021 Masters tournament.

You watched it?

Because Ben watched it and like we were so just like dead yesterday that I just let him put on whatever he wanted.

And you know, I actually quite enjoyed it.

Matsuyama was like in the lead the whole time.

So like he obviously was going to win.

Yeah.

And Ben was explaining how it's like such a big deal.

So I'm so happy for him.

And he was a cutie.

And it was actually like an enjoyable thing to watch.

Me the biggest cutie win.

Maybe the biggest cutie win.

And like Ben said, like part of the huge honor of winning the masters is like the next year, there's a huge dinner with all the former winners and the person who won the year before like gets to pick the meal choice so now everyone's like guessing what matsuyama is gonna pick and like now this year because the winner from last year was dustin paulina gretzky's boyfriend johnson dustin johnson he chose uh chicken sandwiches oh too bad you didn't win no i know i would have loved that meal i bet it's so good that's such a fun fact like fun like um tradition 100 yeah that's really cool i feel like golf is super calming to watch you know yeah like it was like a little borderline boring, yeah.

Yeah, but it's not like no, it's not like crazy, like you look away, you're gonna miss anything.

Yeah.

And they actually like do a really good job of

airing it because they like show, they don't follow one person at the same time.

They like show everyone at different holes.

It's like actually.

I had a respect for the masters.

They got a good thing going on?

Yeah, they got a really good thing going on.

Very, very cool.

Also, I'm happy for him.

I can't wait to hear what he chooses for the meal.

Like, I'm literally like, I can't think about anything else.

I'm so excited.

Like, I hope it's good.

And he's making Japan proud.

So, we love that.

If you won the masters, what would you choose as your meal?

Oh, that's a really good question.

Okay, for an appetizer, we would all be having

chicken fingers and fries.

Like, but like in

appetizer form, you know, like with a toothpick in it, okay?

Okay.

And then for the entree,

We are having um oh my god, I'm like overwhelmed right now.

Hold on.

Let me just think, like, what are my favorite foods?

Like, we're having like, it's pasta night, you know, like Italian, like, pasta, whatever you want.

Like, and you don't care that the foods, like, don't really make sense together.

Do I look like I care?

Okay.

And then for dessert, the troll house pie, we're having a Chipwitch.

Oh, cute.

Good humor brand, like with the chocolate chips on the other side.

Oh, that's really cute.

That sounds good.

What about you?

I think I would have Serafina come in and cater.

And cater the affair.

The affair.

Yeah.

Can I like pizzas to start?

Yeah.

But then for dessert, I've been really enjoying dessert lately.

And like serafina we went to last night we took dom and kenzie's serafina virginity um is not known for their desserts like i literally never get to no no no they have a tier massey which i don't even like that like some people like but they are not like dessert friendly yeah maybe just like some delicious gelato or like the mastros buttercake have you ever had it yes

chipriani chipriani chibriani lemon meringue cake yeah okay you guys you want me to win the masters yeah let's go root for me like it's hard

vote for us are you ready for our next story i mean i'm gonna take a bite of my granola bar, but yes.

Okay, so while you're taking a bite, I'm gonna let you know that driver's license singer Olivia Rodrigo got a parking ticket.

I saw.

It's really funny.

She said, driving isn't all fun and games.

Olivia Rodrigo is quickly learning the ups and downs of having a driver's license.

On Sunday, the 18-year-old singer whose ballad driver's license became a mega hit revealed that she ran into a little trouble while driving with her driver's license.

In a Snapchat shared to her Instagram story, she shared that she had received a parking violation from the city of LA showing a photo of the ticket.

She said, damn, this driving shit isn't all fun in games.

I mean, and that's why I don't drive.

That is why.

I love that this is news.

You know, it's just like because she has a song called Driver's License.

Right.

And she got a ticket.

And I feel like it's a really good lesson for all the kids out there.

Like, driving is not all fun in games.

Well, I was actually just having this conversation with Bem because he's like, I've never been in an accident.

And I have, obviously, you remember, you made me get into an accident when you were singing Shower by Ben.

You can't take a couple of loud.

No.

You can't take a a counter.

You were literally

horror accident.

You were just like being such a distracted, like, front seat driver.

I think I was like making the vibes good.

You were Snapchatting yourself listening to Becky G's Shower, which is such a good song.

Yeah, can you blame me?

I know, and you know, it's such a good song.

Like, the car crash didn't even ruin it.

It's such a good song.

It inspired a segment on this show.

Yeah, that's true.

Um, but so Ben was like bragging that he'd never gotten to an accident.

I'm like, I didn't get into an accident.

I just sideswept some old lady's car.

It was just like a little dink.

And she was like so cool about it.

Like, I was ready to like swap insurance and like like have to like you know call the police and she literally was like a sign and got in her car and drove away um but i've never gotten a ticket ben has gotten like maybe a thousand like you know he actually one point like got his license suspended for like having so many points that's so crazy so um have you well you don't drive but right so i can't even ask you that question but one day i feel like my time is coming yeah we've been talking about getting a car yeah and that would be really exciting for me to be driven by you i know and also if you're if you're looking for some content I taught Jackie how to drive over the summer in upstate New York.

And there's a Patreon vlog about it at patreon.com/slash morning toast.

So much anxiety.

Oh.

Did you have something to say?

No, I was just going to get into our fifth and final story.

The final story.

If I can, just like let everyone know about Babel, I would really.

Yes, I think everyone needs to know about Babel.

Therefore, you may have the floor.

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Okay, now are you ready for our fifth and final story?

Is it the five and final story?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Henry Cavill Cavill goes Instagram official with his new beautiful and brilliant girlfriend, Natalie Vesfuso.

And I know Claudia is like, why do you think that's a good one?

I saw the picture.

You saw the picture.

He said, this is me looking quiet.

Well, they took a stroll together.

They were spotted on a stroll.

And then he posted to his Instagram saying, oh, saying, okay, what'd you do?

I just swiped.

Hold on.

Saying, I think maybe I haven't memorized it.

I saw that they were photographed together and like literally nobody could figure out who this girl was.

Okay, well, then he posted a picture of of the two of them saying, This is me looking quietly confident shortly before my beautiful and brilliant love destroys me at chess.

And it's like a picture of them praying chess.

But eagle-eyed pop culture enthusiasts might recognize her from a 2005 episode of MTV's My Super Sweet 16.

Her milestone birthday was featured on season one of the hit series after she moved to San Diego from

Roswell, New Mexico.

Okay.

So now she is the vice president of TV and digital studios at Legendary Entertainment, but she was on My Super Sweet 16, and I feel as though that's something that we all need to know.

Okay, I'm literally floored by this recognition.

Like floored, first of all.

Second of all, there is a TikTok trend of like, if you were on MySweet 16, Super Sweet 16, like make a TikTok, duet this, and like tell us where you landed.

And like literally every single one of them was like, the car my dad got me got repossessed.

Like we had to move out of our house.

Like because it was these people like spending so frivolously on a 16-year-old birthday party.

Like you know that their finances were not like that.

Yeah, they're not like financially prudent.

So I would love to hear like a little bit about her journey on the show.

I wonder if if we'll get like any sort of interview with her.

And remind me who Henry Cavill is.

Justice Lee Superman.

Was he supposed to be Jamie Dornan, or that's like the other guy?

I always get them confused.

Oh, you was supposed to be Jamie Dornan.

Like, then the other guy, Henry something.

Why?

Why not Cavill?

I don't know.

Like,

someone named Henry dropped out of 50 Shades and gave it to Jamie Dornan, who I thought was like so unqualified for the role.

And that's why I never watched the franchise.

I just always felt like it was a huge casting mistake when that guy dropped out.

Henry.

Okay, well,

Henry Cavill is Superman, and he looks like Superman.

Yeah.

And I feel like he could have been the one.

And is he from Sons of Anarchy?

Is he?

I don't know.

Like, these Henry's, I actually cannot.

Okay, I'm going to read what he's in.

I don't know if it's going to mean anything to you.

Man of Steel, The Witcher, Batman vs.

Superman, Justice League, Enola Holmes, Mission Impossible, The Man from Uncle.

I like the man from Auntie.

Zack Snyder's Justice League.

The Tudors.

Everyone's been telling me to watch The Tudors, and now I think this might be the push that I need.

Okay, hold hold on.

Henry Cavill was supposed to be

in

50 Shades of Gray, but he's not who I thought he was.

Charlie Hoover

Charlie.

Oh, yeah, by the way, they literally don't even have the same name.

I don't know why I get them confused with Charlie Hill.

I got that shit in my head.

No, that guy's hot, the blonde guy.

And he's from Kingsman.

Is he?

This guy, he's from Sons of Anarchy.

Never mind.

He's so handsome.

I get him confused with Henry Cavill.

But actually, Henry Cavill looks like Matt Bomber, Bomer.

You're just like, you're putting stuff into my head that I don't need there.

There's just like so many like sexy men, like, I actually just cannot keep track of them.

But now I know who Henry Cavill is.

I've never seen like any superhero movie.

So, like, people in that genre like just go way above my head.

I agree.

And he's not in the Kingsman, so I'm just going to take that back.

I don't know who that guy is.

When is the Kingsman sequel coming out?

The trequel.

I don't know.

But wait, now I need to find out who the guy I'm thinking of from The Kingsman because I feel like it's going to blow up.

Colin Fern.

It's going to blow the lid off this table.

Karen Edgerton?

No, no, no, no, no.

He's a supporting man.

The Kingsman cast.

Oh, my God.

I love the Kingsman.

Okay.

Hold on.

I'll just be drinking this guy.

I'll just be drinking from my 100% mug, available Wednesday at shopmorningtoast.com.

He plays a guy named Charlie in

the movies.

He's like that guy who's with the girl.

Hey, why are you showing me the most tiny picture?

Like, how am I supposed to see?

Okay, that is like the most random guy.

No, but he plays the guy that's with the girl.

No, this episode is called Those Guys That Are With the Girls.

Like, there's just so, like, honestly, there's so many famous people now.

Like, I actually cannot keep track.

And I feel like I know most of them.

But with the birth of TikTok and like all these digital famous people and now that you're talking about the people.

And there's all these streaming platforms.

There's so much content.

There's so many famous people.

I agree.

So, like,

forgive me for getting my Henry's and Charlie's confused.

Like, it's just a, I'm a victim of circumstance.

Like, I can only keep up.

And I know a lot, but, like, this is like kind of crazy.

Yeah, I think you're making, we are making it like harder than it means to me.

Like, it's just Henry and his, my super sweet 16 girlfriend.

Oh, right.

Okay, okay, okay.

Focus on.

When I first saw the picture, like the picture was like this really serious chess picture.

I thought he was dating Anna Taylor Joy.

Yeah.

Who is Anna Taylor Joy dating?

I don't know.

She's like so eligible.

Like remember how like two years ago during award season, like Anna Jarmas was like the most eligible bachelorette in Hollywood and then like Ben Affleck got her.

And now it's like who is going to get Anna Taylor Joy?

Because she's like the most eligible girl of awards season.

Like Eneus like dies for her, you know?

Yeah, as they they should.

Yeah.

I just wonder who the lucky person will be.

Yeah.

Okay, so let's dive into our TV recap segment, which is the Real Housewives of Atlanta, which was on last night, which was so incredibly boring.

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Loved it.

Okay, the Wheelhouse visit Atlanta was like so boring, but to me, the most interesting part of the episode was like seeing all the food at Blaze Steakhouse.

Like gotta go there for a meal.

It looked so good.

It looked so good.

Yeah, the episode was boring.

All this drama with the prophet, like, I was so confused.

And then I didn't agree with anyone.

Like, I kind of agreed with Drew.

No, but then after speaking to the prophet, and

if Toya and him really don't have a romantic relationship, but even if they do, but I don't even think he would lie.

Like, if they did have a relationship, she wouldn't have called him up and had, like, a man of the faith lie.

on TV.

Like, I just don't think so.

No, but see, like, how do we have such two opposite stories?

Drew heard, literally, he broke up with his fiancée, left his baby to be with Toya.

They're in a committed relationship.

Toya story is like, I literally barely know this man.

No, like, that she, like, is taking his seminar, but, like, he was engaged three years ago, and that's just a matter of time.

So, then, how do we have such two, like, literally polar opposite stories?

I don't know.

Someone's lying.

Yeah.

But, let's.

I kind of believe Drew.

But even if Drew's telling the truth, like,

it's none of her business.

It's the same thing as, like, all this stuff with Bolo.

Like, it's.

No, actually,

I normally would agree with you, but the the only reason I was kind of taking Drew's side, because let's say it's all completely true, and like the prophet and his family are like a part of Drew's family, which is what she's been saying.

Like, Drew has every right to be mad that like she introduced the prophet to her friend, and like now he left his fiancée for the friend when like Drew is like family with them.

Like, I can see if what everything Drew is saying is true, why she would be upset.

And like, how nobody understands that, like, confused me.

Like, if she really broke up a family, if Toya broke up a family who was so close with Drew, like, allegedly for years, you know?

Yeah, I just but that's assuming everything Drew is saying about the relationship with the prophet is true.

It's so confusing and I also like really don't care.

So I'm like confused and I'm trying to care and I don't.

I wanted more of the lipo.

Like I wanted more clarity on that because Carla was lying.

You do or you do?

No, I don't.

No, because she brought it up and she said she's gotten it twice and she's getting it again.

You don't lie, half lie about lipos actually.

Yeah, she was the one who brought the word to the table and then I'm sure she was like maybe planning on it, maybe it just, or she's doing it, but I thought she was being super honest.

And I also feel like she was really humbling herself at that dinner and just being like, I'm really sorry.

And she clearly felt really bad.

She's apologized so many times.

Like, clearly, it was one of those nights where you just acted out.

Things fall apart.

You know, I completely agree.

And you just behave in a way that you personally don't agree with.

And she's doing everything right in the way she's apologizing.

And like, everyone needs to move on.

I completely agree.

Like, cause I love Marlowe and like in New Orleans, I'm like, what are you doing?

Like, putting yourself in the center of all this and like acting insane in front of Big Frida.

Like, relax.

But the way she like literally ate shit and like humbled herself and like apologized to every single person, like multiple times, brought gifts.

Oh, buying Portia's sheets, she doesn't want the discount.

Like, she's obviously trying really hard, yeah.

So I'm like, so glad because, like, as a Marlowe stan, like, I really have respect for that.

Um, and in no way did I think she was lying about the liposuction, like, Shamia was just going so hard for her when, like, some a friend of a friend saw you at the doctor's office, like, maybe she was having a consultation, like, yeah, and also, like, people's medical doings, like, are personal, you know, like leave them alone.

And

Marlo brought it up, right?

She's definitely not lying.

No, I don't think she's lying.

It was just all very weird.

The whole episode was just weird, and I just didn't care.

And also, the season finale is next week when, like, literally nothing has happened except for the Bolo stuff.

Yeah, I think they thought that that would like carry through the season.

I definitely made for a few interesting episodes, but like anytime Bolo's name gets brought up, I'm like, oh no.

Yeah.

To me, like Atlanta is having like a similar season, but on a different scale than like OC, like because they just had like limited time to foot to film and like random trips they had to take.

Like OC got really fucked because, like, nothing happened, and they were, like, were caught in the middle of COVID.

And Atlanta, I feel like they made the best of like the COVID situation, but it was not a great season.

Yeah, I totally agree, but I feel like it'll be a good reunion.

Yeah.

And I wonder if Drew and Toya will be back.

Because Toya's not even a housewife right now.

No, but that always happens.

She's like a Brandy Glanville.

Like, how like someone who's like a friend of is the center of the entire

scandal.

Um,

I don't love Toya.

I actually really like Drew.

She like really grew on me as the season went on.

And I think she's a really good housewife.

Except when Kenya said, or Toya said, like, she needs to stop worrying about my relationship and get a relationship with the treadmill.

Like, that was so mean.

So wrong.

So wrong.

And like, all the other women laughing.

Like, that really upset me because, like, when, when,

when Cynthia and Mike were in their kitchen, like, trying to move the scale around, like, oh my gosh, the scale was definitely broken because they were like weighing in more than they thought.

Like, I was dying.

And, like, that's why I love the housewives of Atlanta because they're so real.

And they both said their weight on camera.

On camera, like, you would literally have to

like stone me to death before admitting how much I weigh.

But they were just like open and honest, and I'd love to see it.

So relatable, like, that's my year summed up.

Yeah, like moving the scale around the house, like in disbelief.

He's like, No, because like the floor is on the decline.

Like, it was so funny.

And then that tribell comment really bothered me.

Yeah, it was, it was wrong.

I didn't see that the, I didn't feel like the women were laughing.

I felt like they were made uncomfortable by it.

Maybe.

Also, like, what is with Kenya being the worst host ever?

Like, I love Marlo for ordering like pizza and wings, but, like, she doesn't put out a cheese plate for, like, her five guests.

No, it's, it's really.

And she thought they would be satiated with wine, but, like, this group eats a lot.

Like, they are not satiated with just alcohol.

No, it's, it's, like, funny.

I know, because also, like, in South Carolina, like, it's a pattern now.

Yeah.

I just love Marlo, like, for real.

No, I really like her, too, and.

I just need everyone to, like, forgive her for the dinner.

Like, because also at the end of the day, like, do.

No, no, but like, you keep bringing it up.

And at the end of the day, like, she's going so far out of her way, like, apologizing, apologizing, but, like, what she did was, like, she just acted out at a dinner.

It's not a huge deal.

It's not a huge deal.

Yeah, she didn't hurt anyone.

Right.

Even though next week it looks like things get physical between Drew and Toya.

Yeah.

And that was just like a, you know, a taking time bomb.

Yeah.

But I also feel like it's this weird balance with like all of the existing housewives being like so established and like been on forever and like these two new girls like coming in and having to prove themselves and it's like two different shows.

By the way, that's it's like it's aunties and nieces.

No, but like they not in terms of like having fun, but the way that, like, Toya and Drew, like, are acting towards one another.

It's like season, because it's season one for them.

Yeah.

It's like a season one, but we're so far past that.

We're so beyond silliness, like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, because like some of the OGs like are a little boring.

Like, Cynthia, even though I love her, like, she is boring.

And even Candy, I, the only thing I really feel like Candy is integral towards is like, she has no alliances.

Like, she will comment on a fight, like, not because she sides with someone, but just because that's who she thinks is right.

Like, yeah.

So she's actually like a good kind of like narrator for the show because she's very she's not like best friends with anyone like she this is really just like truly her job she shows up and she like just comments on what she sees shares her thoughts yeah and i actually really respect that because more often than not like in her um confessionals like i agree with her because she's very unbiased so i think she adds value in that but some of the ogs are just like getting like comfortable and like boring except portia is literally just like the funniest person on the show and like everything she says is just like a nugget of perfection and like she was barely in the episode last night because she didn't get invited to kenya's but she still somehow managed to be like the queen of the episode.

Yeah.

I just, I absolutely adore her.

I think she's so funny.

So yeah, season finale next week, and then hopefully the reunions will be good.

Like you said, the worse the season, the better a reunion.

True.

So I'm very much looking forward to that.

There's nothing on tonight.

Oh, yay.

So fabulous.

Did you watch any other stuff this weekend?

I finished watching The Last Dzar on Netflix.

It was really good.

Like throughout, there was definitely times I was bored and like responded and ugh.

But by the end, like the way that it ended, and you know, I'll just, if you guys are gonna watch, just mute me for a second because I want to spoil it.

Like, it's not spoil it, it's history.

But it was so crazy because, so basically, the Tsar and his family were brutally murdered at, like, during the Russian Revolution.

They were like buried in a forest.

No one found them for like 50 years.

In the 70s, like, some historians found them, but like the political climate, like, it wasn't a good time to, like, tell everyone.

So they stayed there for like another 20 years.

And then the bodies were exhumed.

And they want, they needed to prove that it was the royal family because it was just like bones and no one knew where they had been buried.

And so they got blood samples from all of the royals throughout europe because since they all like were married to one another they have similar dna and even prince philip um donated

or gave blood he is old gave blood to help in the cause of proving that it was the royal family oh that's interesting yeah it was really interesting and then they had a proper um imperial burial right and it was really interesting and i actually watched something really similar i liked the way that it was done because it was like half documentary half dramatized kind of like the college admissions thing.

Yeah.

But it was really well done.

And

if you're interested in a little bit of history, I would recommend it.

It also deals with like this question of like the Anastasia imposter.

And there's like a lot of books on it.

Do you know this story?

And then apparently,

I found out from Scaler.

I found out.

Okay, so basically the Russian royal family was murdered in like a basement and there was a lot of mystery around what happened.

And some of the mystery that got out was like that one of the daughters escaped Anastasia.

And so eight years after the murder in Berlin, a woman comes up and says, I am Anastasia Romanov.

And that, and I escaped, blah, blah, blah.

And spends, this woman spent her entire life saying, I'm Anastasia.

And like, there were so many people who are like, no, it's not.

Like, the grandma came in.

The tutor came in.

How couldn't they just prove it, like with blood?

It was, they didn't have that technology yet for DNA testing.

And she passed away before it could be.

But since her passing and they found the bones of the Imperial family, she was not Anastasia.

Like

her whole life.

Oh, I thought for sure she was going to be.

But apparently I was talking to Kayler last night and she just watched the movie Anastasia.

And the Disney movie Anastasia is about Anastasia Romanov.

And apparently they say that it's her, but it wasn't her.

But it's like a fiction cartoon, no?

No, but like, but rest, like, there are a lot of true elements, and they say that, like, she was the

last

remaining Romanov, but that's not what happened.

So it's, and I think I need to watch Anastasia.

Well, really similarly, I watched Accepted

that movie with Justin Long and Blake Lively and Jonah Hill.

And it's actually like a fucking great movie.

It is.

Except, like, do you know, like, the fatal flaw of the film is Justin Long's character's name is Bartleby.

Okay.

And, like, he's like, literally, like the center of the TV show.

And, like, everyone's always like, hey, Bartleby, hey, B.

Like, why was that his name?

That's just, it's just, like, it actually makes the movie like bad.

It makes no fucking sense.

So that's what I was like spending my whole weekend thinking about.

I actually didn't watch a lot of TV.

I spent most of my time on TikTok.

Oh, well, that explains that.

And then I also am almost done with the book that I'm reading called The Queen's Fortune.

And it just took a turn.

It just got good at 70%.

So I'll keep you guys abreast.

But it is about Desiree Clary, who was the one-time love of Napoleon Bonaparte and then married his friend.

But her sister married his brother.

So she's part of the court.

It's quite interesting.

But apparently she's going to be queen of Sweden.

Is she still alive?

No.

Oh, yeah.

No, no.

Like, what's happening here?

Oh, oh, you're like, she's going to be the queen of Sweden, like, today?

on the next page.

Oh, okay.

So, like, not tomorrow.

Oh, okay, okay, okay.

Like, that was confusing the way you phrased it.

Sorry.

That's on me.

That's on me.

100%.

Trying to make me look stupid.

So it looks like the historical journey is, like, going really well for you.

The historical journey is going really well.

I just, like,

I sort of spread myself too thin in watching Last R while reading Queen's Fortune because it's like, then I had this Romanov itch that I wanted to scratch.

And I was going to read.

I hate when I have a Romanoff itch that I want to scratch.

And like, I just can't, you know?

Yeah, because I was in the middle of another book.

So now I'm like back in the Napoleonic era.

So maybe, I don't know, when I'm done with this book, and it was like a little disappointing, I don't know where I'm going to go from here.

I don't know.

Do I go back to the Romanovs?

So now you're back, back in the Napoleonic era.

Exactly.

Happy for you.

Thanks.

So yeah, like that was our show.

That was.

It was

confirmed.

It was ours.

Confirmed.

We spoke about the guys.

We spoke about the girls.

We pretty much hit the nail on the head.

Yeah, and it's confirmed that that's all she wrote.

Oh, is it?

Yeah.

okay.

Pen's up.

Time's up.

Pencils up.

No, what do they say like at the end of SATs?

Like, pencils down.

Pencils down.

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