S4 Ep17: Intermittent Bursts of Excitement: Wednesday, January 27th, 2021

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Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning shows.

Happy day after pub day.

I am so sad.

You're sad and you're also feeling as you should after a pub day, which is hungover?

Um

yeah.

Yeah, I'm my brain isn't working so

it's been a while since you've given us a hungover episode.

I know and they always turned out to be funny but like you don't know what it's like for me.

Like it's fucking terrible.

I'm so unwell.

Like we pushed the show back so this episode probably will be out a little bit later than usual.

But like

and I did all the things.

You know, I had the bagel and the orange juice and a chugged water took Advil like, but I'm not better.

Yeah.

You just need the day.

I just need the bed.

Okay, we'll get you to bed, but first we have a job to do.

And before we launch into all of that, we need to to talk about pub day pub like pub day pub day gotta get down on pub day

the thing is is like it felt different than any other day and I don't know if it was just like for me but like the world but not for me

the world had different energy yesterday like I don't know if the world was excited about my book but it really felt like they were yeah so many people were excited and I think your world was so excited so that's really all that and the world yeah and yes like the whole globe.

Yeah, I agree.

So tell us a little bit about your day, some of the highs.

I don't think there was even one low.

No, there literally was not.

But I don't want to give away too much about my day because I did vlog the whole day for Patreon.

But it was just a fabulous day.

Like it was work, but it was so fun.

I was so tired because I was literally up.

I don't want to spoil it, but on the vlog, I do say what time I was awake.

Yeah.

And it was just very exciting, very overwhelming, very emotional, you know?

Yes, I saw in your Instagram story.

I was like crying all day.

And I think that's what's supposed to happen on Pub Day.

Yeah, I can imagine it's a very emotional thing to put out a book.

This is like, you know, your life.

This is very personal to you.

Yes.

And to have other people consume it and then like share their personal experiences.

It's all very emotional.

So that's what it is.

Like people, like my message, my Instagram, it was like my birthday on steroids.

Like so many messages, so many tags.

And like, you know, that that is like what means the most to me.

and it was just so exciting like every time it's like 99 plus people mentioned you in your story and messages and the messages of people sharing by the way people in my life sharing like how they remember things and then like people who are strangers just like sharing their stories with grief and it was just like it was overwhelming to like intake all that emotion yeah very emotional emotional information yeah but i mean you're doing something right i'm just thrilled you know know, it's just charting all over the place.

Everyone's loving the book and it's, you know, it's just.

Now you get to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Like

this is like the payoff of a secret project.

All year you've had to hold this thing in.

Now I understand.

And now it's like bursting at the seams.

It's like vomiting out of you.

Now I understand.

You know?

I understand.

No, it's such a great day for me.

Yes.

And today, I know you're hungover today, but today you're doing one of the most important interviews of your life.

Oh my God.

I really have to get better

because I'm taking it really seriously, and at the present moment, it's not gonna work.

No, but you have hours to get better.

We are recording the Redheads with Claudia and all the girls, and we're really excited.

It's our first author spotlight, and we have

come up with our own questions, personal questions for you.

And we're also taking so many questions from our listeners.

So, email your questions about the book to theredheadsbook club at gmail.com.

And any surplus of questions that we don't get to, we're gonna do a Patreon QA, you and I.

Oh, Oh, fuck.

So we can even go even deeper.

Love that for us.

Love that for us.

You know, I haven't gotten just like a standard manicure,

not gel, in years.

And I had like no time on Monday.

And for GMA, I didn't want to have bad nails.

So I just got like a polish Monday.

It is Wednesday morning.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven of them are chipped.

Yeah, I mean, I never get gel manicures because I just, they're too harmful to my nails.

My nails are so delicate and brittle, and like they grow really nicely, but then they break

like on below my nail line, and then it's just a whole thing.

Um, I got this manicure on Friday, it still looks decent, but then I also um like cracked my nail with a potato peeler.

Like, I literally like peeled it.

Oh, no, no, oh, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, don't finish the story.

Like, I know, oh, yeah, and so this little

stub of mine,

this little stub of mine,

I'm gonna let it shine,

this little stub of mine,

I'm gonna let it shine,

this little stub of mine,

I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Yes, so good.

Yes.

Also, I'd be RDH if I didn't wish a happy birthday to Dana because she listens to the show and her birthday is so important to her.

Redhead queen, singer-songwriter.

TNN queen.

I think we should sing MD Biefer for her in honor of her birthday.

Oh, wow.

Okay, how does it kick off?

Down the toilet, out the sewer, into all that gross manure.

Seal the water, spinning round.

Then I slam the lid back down.

My duty brown, my duty brown, my duty brown, my duty brown.

Into my mouth goes the food now.

Into my stomach, down it goes now.

The bridge is tough.

Yeah.

My Judy Brown, my Judy Brown, my Judy Brown, my Judy

Rain.

Such a good song.

Happy birthday, Dana.

So, yeah, it's just an exciting time to be someone who enjoys to read, you know?

It's so true.

You know.

And who enjoys listening to podcasts, audiobooks available now at girlsondrop.com.

I know.

Did you see that a lot of people are really enjoying your audiobook so much so that it's number one in the audiobook store?

Yes.

But like there is a thread in Toast After Dark about how if you fast forward it to 1.2, then you're talking the same speed that you talk on the toast.

Yes, a lot of people are feeling very shooketh by the speed at which I'm reading on the audiobook and that's because I was not in control.

Like they told me to slow down.

every five minutes.

And honestly, I did listen to a snippet of it this morning and like it does sound weird because it's just not how I talk.

Yes.

But if you put it on 1.2 speed, people say.

It's what you're used to.

It'll be more a little bit something like this.

Perfect.

So I think without further ado, let's dive into what we've got to do because we have a lot to do today and you have a lot of napping to make up for.

I have so many naps to take.

Like you have no idea.

Yeah.

So without further ado, it's time for the fast ties stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

But I did think I was going to hit up some more bookstores today.

I mean, that's very ambitious of me, given the fact that like I'm I'm literally broken on the inside, but I did want to hit up some more bookstores because, you know, yesterday I went on a journey to a couple different Barnes and Noble's, and I have to say, like,

if ever one day, like, we want to quit, I am getting a job at Barnes and Noble.

Like, it was literally the most fucking peaceful place.

So quiet, like, so much silence.

And all they sell is like board games and books and chocolate and coffee.

Your favorite things.

No, it was so peaceful.

Like, I was literally jealous of the manager.

I'm like, I want your job.

Can we get a part-time job?

No, literally.

That sounds heavenly.

If borders were still open, because those were like more like iconic, like clubhouse, like vibes, I would have worked at a borders, like, or, you know, like, I don't know.

I just want to win the lottery so I could buy like a bunch of Barnes and Nobles.

Yeah, I feel that.

It was sickening.

But I digress.

I'm clearly suffering from RDH.

And the only way to get over that is to let you guys know that today's book.

Today's episode has brought you.

It's hitting her harder than ever.

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Okay, sorry, like that was really hard for me.

Yeah.

Okay, first of all.

The letters were like moving.

The tea is so hot today.

Okay, what is it?

Girl with no job, Claudia Oshre, spills on her plastic surgeries, including chin implant, Botox, and lip fillers in her new book.

Okay, so yes.

It's true.

It's true.

I'm becoming somewhat of like a Joan Rivers Janice

Dickinson.

I was going to say Janicean.

Yeah, like that's my legacy and I'm so, so, so proud.

Yeah, Girl with No Jobs, Claudia Ashre grew her Instagram following by posting relatable content, which is why she decided to be open with her audience about her plastic surgery.

The 26-year-old revealed all the details about her change.

Aging me.

I think that your age is germane to the story because it's like, it is, you know, at...

Your age sometimes determines how much.

No, in plastic surgery, like it's important to know how old a person was.

Yeah.

About her chin surgery, Botox, and lip fillers in her new book.

Claudia released her memoir on Tuesday where she explains why she decided to get the procedures done.

Some because she wanted them, some because she wanted to seem, quote, cool.

Wow, that's pathetic.

That is what I wrote.

You literally wrote it and you said that's pathetic.

The social media influencer admitted she'd always hated her double chin, and while she could hide other aspects of her body, she was unhappy with.

aspects of her body that she was unhappy with, she couldn't do the same with her chin.

The decision to get my chin procedure took me all of two seconds to make, she writes.

So yeah, Girls No Job is being super honest in her new book about all of the cosmetic procedures that she has had done.

And I guess there are a lot.

I mean, knowing you, it's like, I wouldn't think of you as a plastic surgery queen.

Maybe.

In reading this article, I'm like, yeah, I guess that's more than your average 26-year-old.

Yeah, no, it's like, I definitely like have made the foray into plastic surgery, but like.

I don't know.

I don't think of myself as like a plastic queen, but like maybe I am and I'm okay with that.

But I also, plastic surgery, I think now it encompasses like a lot lot of different things, but doesn't it require you to have something plastic in your body?

Well, no, and like you know, like a silicone breast.

I'm sure, but I think it's also just like cosmetic surgery.

When like at the end of the day, lip fillers and Botox don't count.

They dissolve.

Like it's not like I'm changing my face forever.

I think that these days Botox is just considered plastic surgery, even though.

Because it's done by a plastic surgeon.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just love like this article like referring to me just as like a regular celebrity.

And I

so appreciate whoever wrote this article.

Like, I didn't pitch this article.

Like, literally.

It's in the sun.

It just came up on its own accord.

And that has happened to me, articles, you know, sneaking up on me.

And they're never as positive as this.

And I think that this is so exciting.

And what's the author's name?

Rachel Ellenbaggen.

Rachel Ellenbaggen, you sound like a fucking queen.

And I absolutely adore you.

Thank you for this opportunity.

And I respect The Sun.

I don't even know.

I know it's a British publication.

And they sometimes are guilty of perpetuating Kelly's mindless news.

This is Claudia's mindless news, and I feel like that's all you're looking for.

Wait, Claudi's mindless news.

No, I feel, wait, I feel like I've just made a connection.

Well, you made it, actually.

This is must what it feels like to be Kelly Clarkson.

I can't fucking talk today.

This must be what it feels like to be Kelly Rippa.

Like, this is what she does.

She's just like, oh, everyone's just reading about my mindlessness.

Yeah, except that if we were to read an article about Kelly's plastic surgery, that would be not mindless at all.

No, that'd be super interesting.

Yeah, for sure.

The sun, get on it.

Rachel.

Yeah, fine.

Right.

Get the tea.

I got to get in communication with Rach because I need her to write more flattering articles about me.

Rach, if you hear this, like, please keep going.

Don't stop.

No, email me.

Don't stop.

I will give you like my address.

You can send the pop, paparazzi.

Like, just hit me up, girlfriend.

Hit me.

Yeah.

You'll bring her with you next time you go to Dr.

Geezy.

Yes, Dr.

Geezy on me in exchange for, you know, one good mindless article a week.

I think that's fair.

I think that's more than Kelly gives.

Yeah, no, Kelly doesn't give much.

That's what I've heard, you know, through my contacts.

Okay, next story.

Another celeb who's spilling the tea.

Colton Underwood details every step of his split with Cassie Randolph for the first time.

Okay, well, jump to the page where he's talking about his restraining order.

Yeah, no, I didn't see that part in this roundup from e-news.

Basically, what he says is...

Where did he say this?

He

penned a new final chapter to his book.

And I'm not sure where he posted it or, like, if you buy the book now.

Yeah, I'm not sure where he posted his new chapter, but he just wrote like the final chapter, which is literally what we said last week.

Like, you wrote the book before the final chapter happened.

And so then he like went back and wrote a chapter.

It's kind of shady of him to like do that on my pub day.

Like, yeah.

No, he's just trying to ride your coattails.

No, I think it's really uncool.

I know, but

he was inspired by what we said on the show.

What can you blame him?

That's true.

Okay, so he wrote a book.

So he wrote another chapter explaining what happened between the two of them, and he made it seem like very, you know, falling out of love.

And he doesn't really address the restraining order, but he did say like he didn't accept that they were breaking up.

You know, he didn't want it to be true.

He didn't want to put out an Instagram statement because he just didn't want that to be the truth.

Like, he loved Cass.

But he felt like she felt like he didn't understand her, like, being from her, like, small town and just wanting to be like a chill girl.

Small town.

She's from like the...

She's from the beach town.

I don't know if I would say Huntington Beach is like a small town.

I'm pretty sure he called her.

Yeah, he called her a small town girl who liked the slow pace and quiet of her beachside hometown.

Okay, Nicholas Sparks over here.

Like,

first of all, when you, I just think it's important to note, like, while yes, okay, wherever Cassie may be from might.

technically be a town that is small.

If you're going to refer to someone as small town, like they better be wearing cowboy boots.

Like, that's just it's not a good descriptor, you know, from one author to another.

He says, Cass felt like there was pressure on her to commit one way or the other because of our relationship, because of the way our relationship unfolded so publicly on TV.

I tried to give her space, she didn't feel like I saw all the different sides of her, especially the small town girl who liked the slow pace and quiet of her beachside hometown.

Small town girl, I can't do that.

Sometimes she would say outright, I feel like you don't understand me.

He said that the issue was pushed to the back burner when he got COVID and like her family took care of him.

Torture.

It's like you want to break up with someone and now he's got COVID in your basement.

Yeah.

But then he recovered and all the

issues came back to the forefront.

He said it was when Cass and I finally tried to grab back a bit of normalcy that I realized the virus was only part of a much larger problem.

After more than a month of being cooped up in her family's home, both of us were feeling overwhelmed and smothered and eager to return to our respective apartments where we could enjoy our own space.

Before we left though, she took me aside and told me she was struggling with everything in our relationship and didn't know what to do.

My head head spun like one of those characters in a cartoon.

What?

She was struggling with everything?

Um,

he said once the shock wore off, he realized that the misfires and miscues between them were actually more like one of those proverbial death by a thousand paper cuts.

No, he's just seeing inspiration from Claudia Ashray, Taylor Swift, Nicholas Sparks.

Does he just fucking quote Taylor Swift?

Yeah, though that is like a common phrase that she made easy.

Death by a thousand cuts.

So he's saying it's a lot of little things.

And I just, um, I need to hear from, I need to Cassie's chapter.

I'm really.

Yeah, I'm so uninterested in hearing about the relationship from the perspective of the nut job who got a restraining order.

Like, I want to hear from fucking Cassie.

And I know she don't want to talk about it because she's like, can I be my own person?

Like, Colton is just like...

milking this breakup when he really should publicly stop talking about it because it reminds us of how fucking crazy he was.

Yeah, no, like we were starting to forget there's been like two crazy seasons of The Bachelor.

Like

it's just not top of mind.

I think he could just like go and you know do his thing but he keeps bringing it back to the surface and i'm sure if they ever have a chance of getting back together every time she sees her name associated with him she's like no yeah get me out of here yeah so

i don't know i hope somebody's counting how many times i've yawned today yeah they're contagious so i don't want to they are contagious

probably mentioned this on the show already because you know i am you know a girl with four stories and i share them all all the time but when i was took the sats you remember remember there was the reading section, the writing section, math section?

The reading section, in one of the reading sections, I got a passage all about yawning, about how some scientists believe yawning to be a social construct.

But there's a lot of evidence that yawning is contagious.

And sometimes even reading the word yawn can make a person yawn.

And so I'm trying to take the SATs and I'm reading this lengthy ass motherfucking chapter about yawns.

And I'm just can't stop yawning.

And I do feel as though it was unfair.

Let me know.

Did anyone else get that passage because like someone must have taken the same test as me sure i'm sure thousands yeah anybody get that let me know hit me up sweet in the dms even though my dms are just like so popping i don't know if i'll see it because like

everyone is like obsessed with my book um speaking of your book next story Girl with No Jobs friend Paris Hilton reveals she started the IVS pro IVF process with her boyfriend.

She says it was tough, but worth it.

Paris Hilton is opening up about her plans to start a family.

The DJ and Aris revealed on Tuesday's episode of The Trend Reporter with Mara podcast that she started IBF with her boyfriend, Carter Broome, praising the 39-year-old businessman for being, quote, so supportive throughout the process.

Oh, so she has a businessman bow.

I don't know if I knew that.

I did know that.

I knew she had a bow, but I didn't know he was in the businessman category.

Yeah, no.

He is, and I think that this is so great.

Because in her documentary, she was talking about it.

Like, I don't know if it's in her cards.

Yeah.

So I think that this is so awesome.

I hope, you know, she gets everything that she's looking for.

Quarantine is like making people, you know, baby crazy.

Yeah.

Be be.

Be.

Cre, se.

Be, cre, se.

I'm having a lot of problems.

My nose is.

Is there anything we can get you?

Honestly, can I get a tissue?

Okay.

Because I'm like leaky.

I'm needy leaks with my, like, my nose is leaky.

Yeah, you do sound a little stuffed up.

I always get stuffy, like, when I am hungover, like a cold, you know?

yeah yeah

and you gotta like get out all the toxins toxins thank you so very much you are dull

um

and I'm just gonna yeah just if you want to move my mic so I can not torture everyone meanwhile today

brought to you by girljob.com slash book get a copy of this wonderful book treat yourself it'll probably arrive in time for the weekend and you can just have a wonderful weekend reading the beautiful words of Claudia Ashre.

Okay, that was a life-changing nose blow.

Wow, I'm so glad.

Oh my god,

so good.

I sound better, right?

Yeah, you need to.

More lively.

Yeah, for sure.

More blake lively.

Okay, our next story, Kristen Stewart.

Oh, what?

I'm waiting for a story.

Oh, that's the fifth and final.

I'm so excited for the fifth and final.

Okay, but our fourth and second to last is Kristen Stewart's first photo as Princess Diana is here.

The resemblance is double take-worthy.

So as we reported a few months ago, Kristen Stewart is playing Princess Diana in a movie about Princess Diana, like one of many, you know, when it rains, it pours, Snow White and the Huntsman, Mirror Mirror, like.

No, no, she literally,

Lady Dye is like the British John Vinet.

Like, people just keep making movies.

Yeah, but also, I don't, I've never really watched a movie about Lady Dye, like, and now it feels like there's four in one year, especially with the crown starting to cover it.

Yes, you know, right.

No, it feels overwhelming now because of the crown.

Yeah, it's like just every, when it rains, it pours.

We always say this.

But every few years, like someone just makes a Lady Diana something.

I don't know.

I feel like this is the first one.

Like, there hasn't been one that's like Oscar contender.

Right, right.

You know, this definitely, anything with Kristen Stewart, like, gets nominated.

Yes, to celebrate the start of principal photography on Pablo Lorraine's film Spencer, Neon has released the first look of their star in full costume.

That's actually like a really great way to drum up some excitement.

for your movie.

Because now I'm excited again.

And it's like, now I realize, okay, they started filming.

Like they're giving us good intermittent bursts of excitement.

I love, love, love intermittent bursts of excitement.

And like, now they're going to film the movie, and then in a few months, we'll get a trailer.

Yeah.

In a few months, the movie will be here.

And I feel like it's just a good way to

keep up the momentum.

No, and I think that anyone who's not using intermittent bursts of

excitement is doing it all wrong.

No, it's so important.

So important to have intermittent bursts of

excitement.

Stewart bears a strong resemblance to the late royal in a red coat, blonde locks, and a black hat with delicate netting over her face as she looks off to the side.

And yes, a very Diana Spencer sort of look.

And a very Diana Spencer jawline, like Caroline.

You know, she looks iconic.

She also does look like Emma as Princess Diane in the crown.

And I'm just, I'm really here for it.

And I can't remember what our take was when she was announced as the casting.

I'm sure it was negative.

I know us.

Yeah, I feel like I remember us recording it.

I feel like you were negative and I was

on the fence.

That sounds on track, but I do remember us defending her as an actress because we believe, you know, Twilight to be

so compelling.

She's one of the greatest actresses of our generation.

Don't at me.

No, you're right.

And if you watch Twilight and like take it seriously, like you will see

stellar acting and like the most passionate, beautiful love story of a generation.

Yeah, I agree.

So Spencer is a dive.

The movie's called Spencer.

It's a dive inside an emotional imagining of who Diana was.

By the way, the movie is called Spencer because Diana was already taken by another Diana documentary.

Yeah.

It's an imagining of who Diana was at a pivotal turning point in her life.

It is a physical

assertion of the sum of her parts, which starts with her given name, Spencer.

You know, I hate that phrase, the sum of one's parts.

Like, it's honestly disgusting.

Like, no, but keep it to yourself.

The movie chronicles the

sum of her parts.

The course of the weekend in December 1991 when Princess Diana joins the royal family for Christmas at Sandringham and decides to leave leave her fractured marriage to Prince Charles.

So I believe that we saw that scene.

It's just

of one weekend, which really irks me.

That's like that movie.

Jackie.

My

husband.

Yeah, when you think you're getting a whole document, like and you get a weekend.

Yeah, you think you're getting Jackie O's life story instead.

You get the week after her husband died.

Literally, never been more disappointed in my life when I realized that.

That movie is not a fabulous life in the

fabulous picture into the life of Jackie O, but it was like the worst day for Jackie ever.

Yeah, no, I've and she talked weird.

I really don't like that idea for movies.

I feel like there was even a recent like Marilyn Monroe movie, My Week with Marilyn, where it's like, What about life?

What about Marilyn?

What about, yeah, no, the lifetime of Marilyn?

Yeah, so this is kind of a bummer.

And I think that Christmas at Sandringham, when she decides she's going to leave Charles, is when we saw in the Crown when Prince

Philip.

Prince Philip came and gave her a talking to.

Yeah.

Gotta get to Sandringham.

Like, need a Castle on a Hill.

Yeah.

Shoot Boar.

So I'm like, I'll obviously be watching this movie, but I do want a life story of Princess Diana from the beginning to the end, you know?

Yeah.

And do you follow Kitty Spencer on Instagram?

Of course I do.

She follows her.

She's a literal queen.

She's a literal queen.

She is what?

Her Lady Diana's niece.

Yes, she's Prince Harry and William's.

Lady Diana was an auntie.

Harry and William's cousin.

Cousins.

Well, she's just so gorgeous.

And she, I feel like, has the best of both worlds because she's really like a private citizen.

Like, she's not a working royal.

Yeah.

But she is a lady, right?

Yeah.

And she's just so sickeningly.

And she's connected to like iconic Princess Diana.

She's like the most

it girl in fashion.

Yeah.

No, she's everything of the sort.

She's a great Instagram follow.

Actually, I don't even know if she's a lady.

I don't know if she has a title.

I don't know.

I feel like these days you could just slap one on.

Yeah, no one's looking.

You could just buy one.

Yeah.

I mean,

Scott Disick did it.

Yes.

Okay, are we ready for our fifth and final story that you've been dying to talk about?

I'm so thrilled.

Is it the fifth and final story that I've been dying to talk about?

That's brought to you by Manscaped.

Yes, it is.

Okay, Manscaped is everything of a sort.

It literally arrived at my house, and Ben has not stopped using it.

Have you ever felt like taking a bite out of your partner's morning toast, but there's like hair everywhere?

Well, roses are red, violets are blue.

Get Manscaped as a gift for V-Day, and he'll say, I love you.

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Make sure your man is one of them.

So, um,

first of all, this is like the best name for

men's grooming.

Men's grooming.

Ben has the razor.

It's electric.

It's, first of all, so cute.

It's so cute.

I got a box for man scaped and like Zach was looking at me like I hung the moon.

He was so excited.

He had seen that razor but hadn't gotten it yet.

And I got it for him and he loves it.

Yeah, it's creating problems for me because like now I have to clean up all the hair that Ben leaves, but it does look, there's a visible difference on his face from like the crappy drugstore one he had before in this one.

And also like all of the Manscaped products like are just aesthetically pleasing to look at.

So if your man is using all manscape products and keep, even if they don't put them away in the bathroom, like if it's just on the counter, it's really not as annoying as it could be when it's like a lot of different products from a lot of different brands and it just looks a mess.

So, if you can't think of what to get your partner this year, get the gift that's for you and for him.

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So you know that his manhood is in Good Hen's hands.

Their products smell good.

They have deodorant.

They have a toner, and they're just like manly, you know, so like people will use them.

Again, that's 20% off.

If you use the code morning at manscaped.com, you'll also get free shipping.

And the 20% off, like I said, at manscaped.com.

Code morning.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Love it.

That box is what I got for Zach.

And like, it is everything of the sort.

Everything of the sort.

I'm so glad.

Agreed.

Okay, fifth and final story: former Real House Eyes of New York star Barbara Kay, as we know her, enters the NYC mayoral race.

This is hysterical.

Former Roni star Barbara Kay has officially announced she's running for mayor of New York City, adding to an already crowded field of Democratic candidates.

The Bronx-born Cabovet is what the case stands for.

Why didn't they know that?

Know me either.

Made it official on her Instagram Wednesday saying her beloved Big Apple is, quote, in a state of crisis under Mayor de Blasio's watch.

She said, quote, I may not be a politician, but I'm a Bronx-born New Yorker who isn't fearful of the hard work and tough decisions that lay ahead.

It will take a builder to rebuild NYC, and I'm the woman to do it.

That's a great line because

she's barbed the builder.

Yeah.

In September, she had floated her dreams of Gracie Manchin, telling Page 6 she was ready to rebuild the city.

By the way, can I just say, like,

you're not a New Yorker if you don't, at one point in in your life, like, think about running for mayor.

Like, it's come across the minds of everyone.

Ben, literally, not a week ago, was like, I should run for mayor.

I'm like, yeah, okay, good luck.

Yeah.

She said, number one is rebuild a safer and more inclusive New York City.

She said this in September.

So I feel like the city is not a safe place.

So if it's not safe, people don't want to come to New York City.

People don't want to stay in New York City.

She's making facts, stating facts.

Yeah, so she's making waves with her announcement.

I just feel like,

and I'm going to give

everyone a chance.

I just just feel like if you can't make it on Real Housewives of New York,

what chance do you stand?

No, you're right.

And if you're not.

Of the mayoral race, which is, there's so many people throwing their hats in the ring.

If you are going to run for mayor,

where was I taking this sentence?

I don't recall.

But I was going to say is that if you've made it on Real Housewives, like successfully, you actually are incredibly qualified to run for mayor.

100%.

Yeah, because you've been through a lot.

You've been through a lot, but also not even about the task of being mayor, but like, you know, the politics of running.

Oh, yeah.

I don't know.

Like in New York, it's just like someone just becomes mayor.

It's like not even an election.

It's just like they tell you, it's crazy.

Like, this is de Blasio.

I don't know anyone who actually voted for him.

Like, it's crazy.

Like, not one person.

Camera light.

Wait.

Also, I saw the craziest fucking moment from a press conference with Bill de Blasio.

Did you see?

No, what did he do?

So it turns out like he's been keeping his gym open and using it, but like is not allowing any other gyms to be open so a reporter was like how come your gym can be open but like no one else's can and his gym like like the gym that he goes to okay it's allowed to be open because he goes there and his response was so crazy he was like he got like angry and defensive at the reporter and he was like I have to work out so that I can stay healthy and do my job and run in this city.

I'm like, what?

Like, that is just not even a real fucking answer.

Like, it was so crazy.

Like, when was this?

I don't know.

I saw it on TikTok.

It must have been in the last couple weeks.

No, but gyms are open.

Oh, that's true.

You know, so maybe it was like a while ago.

Pre-the-opening of gyms.

I can't believe that didn't go more viral.

It was such a lunatic thing to say.

You know, it's clear that he's thrown in the towel.

Yeah.

And you know what?

Like, literally.

Literally, literally.

At the gym.

And there's lots of exciting things happening in the New York City mayoral race.

Barbara Kay, obviously, being one of them.

But I'm very much looking forward to a new frontier.

Yeah, I just feel like if we're talking about real housewives of New York, who should be running for for mayor like we need to be talking to bethany frankl i just feel like yes

she like infrastructure wise like if you can do the job of organizing a charity organization like she has like you have some chops i'm sure people tell bethany all the time that she should run for mayor i wonder what her argument is for not because i'm sure that she has one i mean should be running I think that like she has a happy life and a successful business and like who the fuck wants the job?

Even if you do a good job as mayor it's like it's in our blood as New Yorkers to be like the fucking mayor like even like I remember when I was in high school and Bloomberg was the mayor who was like a beloved like really he did a good job the cab drivers everyone was like fucking Bloomberg like yeah he did a good job like you're always talking shit about the mayor Bill de Blasio is a different

animal because he's actually like destroying the city and people are talking shit about him like because he deserves it yeah but um it's not just like angry New York energy.

It's not.

No, it's not.

It's not.

Because there is that, and you have to accept that because even good mayors get that angry energy.

But it doesn't, you know,

they do a good job.

They don't hold the candle.

So was Mike Bloomberg the mayor before de Blasio?

Oh, my God.

He's been mayor for a long time.

Yeah, because it's like two terms and the mayoral terms are pretty long.

I can't wait for new.

Yeah, I agree.

There's some handsome men.

The race is going to start revving on.

And Barbara Kay.

Yes.

Honestly.

I'm good on her.

I'm on her platform.

Yeah, no, I definitely, when I first saw this, I was just like, if you can't make it as a housewife, you can't make it as a mayor.

But reading.

And this is like silly.

Yeah, but you know what?

I have my eyes and my ears open, you know?

Yes, no, I'm getting very involved in the mayoral race this year.

Yeah.

Very exciting.

Very exciting.

And we're wishing you the best of luck, Barbara.

We are.

We are.

And it's Wednesday.

Dear Toasters.

Dear Toasters.

Toasters, Toasters.

Gotta get down.

Toasters.

Do you want me to read them?

I offered that I would.

I did offer, but I'm feeling better.

You're feeling better.

If the letters start to move off the page, I will fork this over.

Dear Toasters is our advice segment where we give, honestly, what I think to be stellar advice.

I think our advice gets better and better every week.

I would agree.

And you can write it into us at deartoas at gmail.com.

We will always keep it anonymous.

Good morning, Jackie, Claudia, and of course, Theo.

Good morning.

Thank you for putting some respect on his name.

Let me preface by saying you are the perfect people to ask for advice, seeing as that Claudia is pro-Snoop and Jackie is anti-Snoop.

Great.

True.

We love a balanced debate.

I was convinced that over the holidays, my boyfriend of three and a half years was going to propose.

I fixed my COVID roots, painted my nails a whole nine yards.

Christmas and New Year's came and went and nothing.

So you can imagine I had a major case of RDH.

I was so upset.

Literal RDH.

No, heartbroken.

I was so upset and wanted to know what was going on that I snooped through his texts.

I saw that he asked my best friend for advice on a ring and sent my uncle, who is a jeweler, a check.

Great.

So now here's my dilemma.

I'm going insane knowing that he bought the ring, but is not, but not knowing when it's going to happen.

As two ladies who have been through this process, did you know it was coming?

If so, how did you remain calm?

Please give me advice on how to stay until I get that ring.

Sincerely, a Snoopy, unengaged toaster.

Okay, I thought this was going south.

Me too.

You're in a very good spot.

Now.

Yeah, you're looking for problems, girlfriend.

Like, just let it happen.

You're not looking for problems.

I just think that, like, there are so few times, especially like in the modern world where everyone knows everything about everyone, there are so few times where you can experience genuine surprise.

And you're so smart.

Like, now that you know that it's coming and he has the ring, you don't have to be like worry if this is your partner.

Like, you don't have to be asking yourself those big questions.

So, I think don't worry about the manicure and the roots because, like, once you're- Yeah, you can worry about the roots.

No, but like, once you're married or planning the wedding, like, I never look back on my engagement photos.

I'm like, thank God I got a manicure.

Like, those things really don't matter.

And I think the

being surprised is the best possible way to be proposed to.

Agreed.

And I think you should sit back and let him do it in his own way, on his own time, and really not snoop in, like, for yourself, too, so that you can experience it.

I feel like I knew

the season in which Zach was gonna propose to me, but on the night that it happened, I had absolutely no idea.

I just thought we were going to dinner because he had like sent me an invite for this event.

And we had had a pretty busy day.

Yeah, so my mind, Claudia writes about it in her book, actually.

So my mind was just elsewhere.

But even if it hadn't been, like, I remember we had such a busy day, but I was like, but damn, I have to go to dinner dinner tonight.

Like, I told my boyfriend.

Like, I would have canceled.

Like,

that is what's so funny.

Like,

anybody else would have canceled.

You couldn't have gotten me out of bed that day.

Yeah, no, but I was like, I made a commitment.

Like, I have to go to this dinner.

And you're a stand-up gal because of it.

Yeah.

And so being genuinely surprised, like, it's the best feeling.

So I would say, let go and let him have his moment.

I have literally not one thing to add because you said it all.

Hey, Claude and Jack.

How you darn?

Darn good.

I have a bit of a situation that I could use some advice on.

My husband Joe and I have been spending a lot of time with my single best friend of 15 years in the queue.

I don't like birth this time.

Me neither.

My best friend, let's call her Jess.

We grew up together, went to school together, and has been around my whole relationship with Joe, even in our wedding party.

She's always been in and out of relationships, and she still hasn't found the one.

Two weeks later,

after we had spent New Year's Eve together drinking and having a fire pit at our house, oh, that sounds fun.

My friend told me that she didn't feel comfortable spending time around us anymore.

When I pressed her on why, she told me that she had serious feelings for Joe, and she finds it confusing to spend time with us.

I asked her if something happened between them and she said no.

To make matters worse, when I told my husband about the confession, he told me he had always found Jess attractive and that she was really more of his traditional type before he met me.

Why the fuck would you say that, Joe?

Can you smell that?

Smells like divorce.

Oh, that is not funny.

Like, stop.

Okay.

So he said it was more of his traditional type.

I am now super insecure about my relationship and devastated that my best friend dumped this on me.

We haven't spoken in two weeks and things are super awkward at home with my husband.

How do we move past this?

Oh my god.

You okay?

You can move past this.

It's just going to take a lot of

mental and emotional maturity from you.

Like that, obviously your husband loves you.

He has chosen you.

He had chosen poor choice of words a few weeks ago.

And now you're left like with this big pile of shit to clean up.

But I think you can clean it up and you guys can move on from this.

And I don't think that anything went on.

I don't think that they cheated.

I didn't need either.

Because they both wouldn't have been so upfront with you.

Right.

And he wouldn't have said those things if he was hiding something.

It's just like he's made an awkward situation even worse.

Your friendship with this girl is going to have to take a back seat for a while.

She won't be hanging out with you guys until I think she's in a committed relationship of her own, unfortunately.

Unless you want to choose your friendship with her over your husband.

But it sounds like everything otherwise is okay.

Like, why the fuck would this girl say that?

Like, no, and why would he say that too?

But, but only someone who's innocent would say such damning words I agree and you know what I feel like if you can't move past this on your own which would be very understandable I think maybe it's time to bring in a counselor a mat like a a counselor

you know like a for real like try some therapy and like work through these things so that like the counselor is probing him and he can get out words that will make you feel more certain in your situation.

Yeah, this is just like

a moment in time in your marriage where you're just going to have to put in the work, do the work.

And

it's not

dismissal, really, but it's just uncomfortable.

Yeah, but it's not very uncomfortable.

It's not the end of the world.

No, it's not the end of the world, but I feel for you.

All right, our third and final: Dear Claudia and Jackie, I recently broke up with my boyfriend of almost five years.

Before we broke up, I was asked to be a bridesmaid in one of his best friend's weddings.

I had only met the fiancé three to four times, so I found it really strange to begin with.

When we broke up, I told her I didn't feel comfortable being in the wedding anymore because I knew she just had asked me because my boyfriend at the time was a groomsman.

She completely understood and was so sweet.

Fast forward two months later, she is now questioning why I'm not wanting to attend the wedding as a guest or attend the rehearsal dinner.

I've explained to her why I don't feel comfortable since I have not seen or spoken to my ex since we broke up.

I've tried to tell her that her wedding is about her special day and not about me, and I don't want the attention taken off of her.

Please give me some advice on how I should handle this.

Side note, I've attended two wedding showers for her and I was putting in an effort to show her I did care.

Please help XOX out.

Why is this girl getting so butthurt?

You sound like a girl.

I guess you can't attend a wedding.

No, no, and it's literally like, you sound lovely, but you're not important to the wedding.

Like, yeah, you're giving a little bit of like wedding ringer situation, like, vibes where it's like, she doesn't have many close friends.

Oh, well, in that case, then that's sad.

But I just feel like you're being so emotionally immature, like, you broke up with this man and you don't want to be around him.

And I think that you can maybe make that clear to her, but I agree, it's weird on her that she's so invested in the attendance of a guest who was at one point just a plus one.

Right.

And also, it's, I don't, she said it very like casually, but making a girl a groomsman, i'm sorry making a girl a bridesmaid

what yeah yeah okay are you ready for this are you ready making a girl a grooms fuck oh my god are you ready no

making a girl a bridesmaid simply because her boyfriend is a groomsman is so

losery on behalf of the bride it's just so unnecessary you know it's desperate like yeah pathetic no it's just like maybe she just doesn't have that many close friends and maybe like these two people met each other a few times and just hit it off.

Like you, you know, when you're going to be friends with somebody.

I agree.

No, I

take it back.

Not desperate, but like

it's bizarre.

Yeah, it's bizarre, but you know, sometimes like,

you know, two people hit it off.

And if their boyfriends are super close, then they would have been in each other's lives forever.

And it's like, oh, and we get along.

Great.

I'll make you a bridesmaid.

But the fact that you don't want to participate, like, she shouldn't be taking so personally.

I have another theory for why this bride really needs this girl at the wedding.

Because like, it's like she needs her to be in this place, you know, because like she's a spy, and like literally, there's like a target, and they like need her at this particular wedding so that they can pick her up and question her.

Yeah, or maybe she's trying to get you there because, like, your ex-boyfriend wants to propose to you.

And oh, wait, that's actually a good call.

And so, she wants to get like all dressed up for the wedding.

They can do one of those things I see on Instagram when they pretend to throw the bouquet, then they actually just give it to the bridesmaid, and she turns around, and her boyfriend's on the floor.

I've never seen that.

What?

I thought that as a society, we were all like against getting proposing to someone at someone else's wedding.

Well, so every time it happens in America,

the video goes viral because it's only happened like five or six times.

Only five or six people would be so shameless.

So stupid.

And literally, no, but the bride is like involved and it's like the end of her wedding when you throw the bouquet.

So it's meant to like signify like

I understand.

But I'm not even saying like, I'm saying

I wouldn't be mad as the bride.

Meaning.

I would be mad as the fiancé.

I'm like, you're fucking proposing to me at a wedding.

We're not going to be a part of it.

Someone else's budget.

I'm like, you fucking cheap shit.

Buy me real flowers.

Like used flowers.

Yeah.

I'm like, this is someone else's.

Or, like, I don't, I'd rather have no flowers than someone else's flowers.

It's such a

flowers that were bought with a different intention.

I don't know what the right word is in English, but like the, I sound like Hilaria Baldwin.

But it's like such a Haza thing to do.

Yeah, I think Haza was like mooch.

Mooch, yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

Yeah, it's like get your own like.

But Haza also translates to pig.

Perfect.

Yeah.

It's like a piggish thing to do.

Oh my God, that is funny.

So that was Deer Toaster.

Again, deer toasters at gmail.com.

It's so simple.

No one is ever like, hey, what's the email for Deer Toasters?

Because it literally

think I've actually seen posts

that are like, what's the email for Deer Toasers?

It's self-explanatory.

Also, someone like called you out so hard about

yeah because you made fun of me for taking redhead questions from an email address oh i know and literally in your next breath you were like email us to dear toasters at gmail.com stop i know

i i take it back thank you my book is available at girlnojob.com slash book ebook audiobook it is on every platform you don't have to you don't have to say hey can i get it you can like i'm telling you you can get it i also went to a bunch of barns and nobles yesterday in the city and signed some copies i do believe that a lot of them are gone, but if you want to check out.

And you'll also be doing it like throughout the week.

Yes, I'm going to go to Tribeca and the Bronx and Yonkers.

And I think over the weekend, I'm going to take a trip to like Long Island.

I love that for you.

Maybe I'll come.

I could go for a good car ride.

And like a good bagel.

And good music in the car.

Yeah, like I'm just...

McDonald's drive-through.

Maybe we could do our McPlant video.

Love it.

Okay, that's a good idea.

That's really what I wanted to do.

Just like, I love...

spending my weekends in the car.

When will your vlog of Pub Day be up?

Do you think that's it?

Well, do you think you can get to it today?

It's done.

In your current condition.

Not only did I literally like take over the world yesterday, I also put the vlog together on like my two-hour break

at like five o'clock, and it's pretty much done.

I have to add some music and some captions and things, but it's done.

Hopefully, we could see it today or tomorrow.

I found it out today.

Patreon.com slash morning toast.

There's some good content on there right now.

Yeah, no, it's premium.

And the rest of the month.

And it's just because it's all there, everything we've ever done.

And the rest of the month, we've got like good shit planned.

And next month, like, we're already queued up.

I'm going to do my house tour for next month.

I'm really excited.

Okay, cool.

Keep pushing it off.

No, I mean, well, because I did my other vlog this month, it was like, I'm just not going to do two of me in a month.

I just don't want anyone to like be sick of me.

We could never be sick of you.

Thanks.

Me, on the other hand.

Okay, we're going to put this to bed.

We're going to put this to bed.

You got to take a nap.

You got to prepare for the Redheads.

Episode will be out tomorrow.

And that's so exciting.

Thank you so much for listening to the.

Wait, you know what?

Before I wrap up, I just really want to thank everyone who bought my book.

Like, I know I've been fucking around today because I'm like not feeling well, but yesterday, like, it's a blur.

Like, first of all, was not there.

But just thank you to so much, everyone who like got the book, posted it on Instagram, like, was so excited, chasing down their Amazon delivery man.

Like, I love that so much, and I really just, I'm very, very grateful.

So, I wanted to put that out there.

Thank you so much for listening to The Morning Toast, the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast-fact stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So, if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast, anywhere podcasts can be found.

So, that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Public Radio, IR Reddit, Cast Box, all the places where we listen to podcasts.

Find us the morning toast and leave a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and smart we are.

Also, if you've already read my book, feel free to review it, you know?

Yes, before the former toasters get there.

I prefer Goodreads as that's where I go to seek out reviews and where I review all the books.

So Goodreads and Amazon works.

Oh, nice.

And please

only go review it if you're going to leave it five stars.

If not, don't bother.

Yeah.

Four is good too.

Sure.

Five.

Yeah.

Five is better.

Love you.

Bye.

Bye.