S4 Ep16: Pub Day: Tuesday, January 26th, 2021

Good morning, millennials.

Welcome back to the morning toast.

Today is January 26th.

I've been dreaming of this all year long.

My book, my book, my book, my book is final.

Well, I put that up on the spot.

That's beautiful.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Today is book day.

I feel like it's middle school.

It's the book fair.

Oh, my God.

I hope my mom gave me some money for the scholastic book fair.

This book needs to be included in all scholastic book fairs.

That's so funny that you say that because literally yesterday,

I was watching something and there was a book fair.

I'm like, I wonder if my book will ever make it

to a scholastic book fair.

I don't know about scholastic, but maybe...

a book fair somewhere.

Right.

A fair of books.

A fair of books.

Today is such an exciting day because the book is here, you guys.

Everyone has started reading it, is already crying, is already laughing, is already understanding.

Did you see Snitch's captions?

Yes, it was so profound.

I mean, I'm just being inundated with like messages.

It's like your birthday.

It's so much better.

Like, I never get this much love on my birthday.

Like, it's so overwhelming.

I'm trying to like read everyone's messages.

And I just can't believe, like, first of all, how many people read it already?

Because like Amazon put it on Kindle late at night.

At midnight, it was confirmed.

Someone tagged me in their story.

We got confirmation.

On my Kindle, I couldn't get it at midnight.

Oh, when did you get it?

Like, when I woke up at four.

Interesting.

Yeah.

Okay, someone had tagged me that it came out on theirs at midnight.

So audiobook came out like a little after midnight.

So we didn't really get like a full answer on our major question.

Yeah, we'll be fine.

But the books are here.

People are reading it.

The books are here.

People have finished it, which is so crazy.

That is crazy.

I mean, it's a snackable book.

I did not want to write something super long like Homer.

That book was terrible that he wrote.

He wrote a few.

And I wanted, you know, the long one, the Odyssey.

Yeah, and the Odyssey.

That was like the fact that he did that to us and we all had to read it in fucking high school, like, that was disrespectful as fuck.

Yeah, that was hard stuff.

But I would say that, like, this is going is similar in its jargon.

No, it's definitely similar in the sense that, like, it's, you know, well-respected by the literary world.

Yeah, the literary world, if you guys have been feeling some like uneasiness under your feet, it's because the literary world is quaking today.

I'm so glad you said that because I was really worried.

I woke up and I'm like, it felt like an earthquake almost.

Like, the ground kind of shook beneath me.

And it's obviously just the impact, the butterfly effect from the literary world literally quaking,

teeth chattering yeah it's a crazy crazy time so yes it's such an exciting day it's so exciting I've had such a long day already and I have so much more to do but the book is out I took my heels off so I could you know just be comfortable and also because given the fact that your beautiful foot is on the cover of the book we are gonna have some people coming to the show wanting to see that foot again yes and she is here to show it to you not only are we penetrating the literary community through this book but we are penetrating the foot fetish community as well and I'm really excited for those fellas to get here get you a book that can do both That's us.

We have a great show for you guys today.

Obviously, we're going to be talking about my book like pretty much the whole time, but we have the Fast Five, we have the Bachelorette Bachelor recap, and then we have a very special surprise.

My husband is in studio.

He accompanied me along some of my festivities this morning.

And now he's going to be joining us because we have a little game we want to play with.

We have a really fun game that we're going to play with him.

And honestly, Ben, I'm so happy that you're here.

But him being here does throw a wrench in some of my plans.

Yeah, I know.

Where I was just going to spend this episode like trying to get Claudia and Maverick back together.

Jackie's just been on one since yesterday when she really realized after reading my book, she read it again, that I think my true purpose in life was to end up with the boy who stole my heart, my first kiss.

Sorry, man, I know you're in studio, but Maverick.

Yeah, Maverick is the one that got away.

And I actually feel like starting today with this book coming out, the sequel is writing itself because somewhere

in the middle of the day, Maverick's sister is about to go.

Then she's going to tell him about it.

He's going to read it.

He's going to reach out.

And it's going to be like this beautiful love story that I think you're going to be chronicling in the sequel.

And Jackie has literally assigned herself president of the MavGia fan club.

Maverick and Claudia.

Because we have ships and we're building them.

So my enterprise is booming.

No, you're right.

It is kind of weird now that Ben's here.

Like, the joke isn't as funny.

I'm like looking at him dead in the eye saying, where are you going to live?

It's not as funny.

It's not as funny.

No, it's not.

We'll have to wait for tomorrow.

So we have a great show.

I think we should just dive right in because we have so much to do.

And I could just sit here and talk for hours about about how grateful I am for the support that my book is getting.

Like, you have no idea what it means to me to be a first-time author.

And just the reception is so positive.

And people are, like, as excited as I am, which is crazy.

It's like, we've been so excited.

And then today, like, seeing all the toasters be so excited has made me like, has revamped my excitement.

I even put on a pussy bow shirt for the occasion because...

I did not know what you were going to say.

That is scary.

She put on a pussy bow.

Yes, my

pussy bow.

Yes, this is my Peter Herman top.

And I haven't had an an excuse to wear a pussy bow all year.

This is it.

And I'm so glad that I finally have a reason to get dressed in business casual.

Today's the day.

Today's the day.

So I think without further ado, we're going to deliver the past five stories that you need to know before you wake up and take a bite out of your morning toast.

And it is only, you know, appropriate that today's episode, which is really a big day in toast history, is brought to you by Bruch.

It makes the most sense.

And I did brooch my teeth this morning before my day full of press.

Very big day.

And I started it with a brooche.

Now, what is the brooch?

It is the best electric.

Ben, you're making a lot of noise with your bagels and I'm trying to work here.

Yeah, and you could, you could care about the brooche.

Yeah, you need a brooche.

Ready?

Do you want to know what a brooche is, Ben?

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Love it.

Okay, first story.

First she said good morning America.

Now she's saying good morning millennials.

Claudia Ashre stole the show on GMA today.

You guys, I said good morning America.

And tell us about the experience, please, because you sort of just like dropped to everyone that you were going on GMA yesterday and everyone was like, wait, did I hear correctly?

GMA, that's so exciting.

It's no GMM, but still very, very cool.

It's no GMM.

But yes, I mean, I things move so fast, and so much of my like press has gotten rescheduled.

So I didn't want to say anything because then it would, like, if it had, like, if I got bummed.

It's a Neil Kavuto effect.

It's the Neil Kavuto effect.

Jacket and I got bummed from the Neil Cavuto show right when we like bought new outfits.

I bought two pussy bow shirts, okay?

I was in the middle of getting my eyebrows died, my eyelashes died when he was like, Neil Cavuto came out.

Neil Cavuto wanted us to talk about business and like for us to be recognized for our business to go on a business news network.

So fucking excited.

PNN, we were so fucking excited.

I bought two pussy bow shows.

No, I had my whole outfit ready to go like Mosquino Dollar Signs Code.

It was just going to be a sickening moment.

And then Neil.

And then we got bumped.

Canceled.

He bumped us for like some NATO emergency.

And it was devastating.

So now I'm going to be.

Like there's always going to be a NATO emergency.

Always.

But there's not always going to be two sickening queens wanting to talk about business with Neil motherfucking Cavuto.

No, there's not.

But you had...

a better opportunity today.

Yeah, and so I just didn't want to bring it up because things move so fast in, you know, the television industry.

But yes, I did.

Good morning.

good morning millennials good morning america this morning it was so crazy i mean i couldn't go into the studio because of covid but they have a remote studio and i didn't want to do it from home like this was my moment i wanted my i wanted a premium camera not my laptop you know 100 but it made it feel much more real like i was quaking actually not like the literary world i was truly shook like i had a duty like in my belly you know and then of course i'm like do i have to poop or am i just nervous and then when it was done like it was gone like duty never to be seen again but it was good i mean it was really really, really scared.

Like, I think I was more scared for that than I was to ever perform in front of people.

Like, it was just a different, and I took the opportunity so seriously.

Like, I wore my fucking Tori Birch heels.

Yeah, they're over there.

They're over there.

I mean, I'm wearing my slippers now.

This is actually.

Like, nobody saw your shoes.

I know.

Not even close.

No, I know.

But, like, the people in the studio did.

They thought I was like an actual business person.

Very authorial.

Yeah.

It was just an amazing experience.

It was very, very scary, but I'm like, I'm so glad it's over.

Like, I've been waiting.

I was obviously always excited for Pub Day, which is what we call it in the literary world.

But I was really more excited for Pub Day at 8 or 9 o'clock because I just wanted it to be over.

As much as I was so excited and grateful for the opportunity, completing it

felt like a huge pit in my stomach.

So now that it's over, now I feel like I can really celebrate.

Well, the reviews are in and you hit it out of the park.

I knew so.

Zach Weinrep said, best interview he ever saw.

Wow.

Jackie O said, beautiful, stunning, and smart.

What did Bruno Sweet say?

Bruno Sweet said, that's my auntie.

Yeah.

He was so proud.

You should have seen him beaming.

Bruno.

I mean, Theo didn't get to watch it.

I was going to bring him, but like, I don't know.

I was just trying to take this whole thing seriously.

Like,

because it's a serious day.

I'm a first-time author, and I can't believe Good Morning America, like,

had me.

Yeah, no, you did such a great job.

I feel like you really summed up what the book's about.

You got people excited.

You showed a little bit of your personality while taking it seriously.

I'd say 10 out of 10, honestly.

Wow, thank you so much.

I mean, I couldn't see what I looked like, except there was this tiny little monitor where I looked so shiny, and I was like, freaking out, and it was way too late to be able to get it.

I love the shotgun.

I'm pro-shine.

But then I looked at the actual TV, and it must have been my monitor, because it was a little shiny, but I think a little shine is good.

Yeah, I agree.

I so agree.

It was a wonderful experience.

Now I can say I've done the Today Show and GMA, so I'm good.

And you've done Steve Harvey.

Steve Harvey.

And I've done

maybe that.

And when I have Access Hollywood?

Oh, I filmed actually Access Hollywood yesterday.

You know, Mario Lopez is one of the new hosts.

Oh, I think I did know that.

He was so cute and funny, and we had a great conversation, and that airs tomorrow, or tomorrow.

Speaking of Steve Harvey, though, I think everyone remembers when you were on the show, but you really give some backstory from when you went on the show in the book.

I do.

That was like a pivotal moment in my career.

People always say, like, what was the moment you knew?

Or like, was there something that catapulted you?

And I think that being invited on the Steve Harvey show and that just, it was a crazy fucking weekend in Chicago.

I write about it in the book.

I think that was like a huge turning point for me.

Like, one, because I was really good at it.

Like, I was like, like, oh my God, I need to be on TV more.

Like I'm so sickeningly funny.

And like I was annoying, but I thought I was great.

And that's all I needed was confidence.

And so I always point to that moment because Steve really believed in me from the very beginning.

He did believe in you.

He invited me back again.

A really sweet story in the book that everyone's going to love.

Speaking of the book, if you're reading it now, we in your week of press, you have your biggest opportunity coming up.

It's true.

She'll be on the Redheads Book Club podcast, where I think it's the first interview about the subject matter of the book.

Yes.

You know, with people who have read the book and we're all talking about what's inside.

Yeah, so far I've been doing press, like trying to give little tidbits, but I didn't want to spoil anything.

Right, so this is Spoiler Alert Central.

If you guys have questions while you're reading the book, email them to the Redheads Book Club at gmail.com and we will ask the author herself.

Wow, ask the author.

And the literary world will once again quake.

Once again, did you see that

on the TV guide, Good Morning America referred to me as author Claudiasre?

I did, and they put respect on your name.

There was also a lot of good guests on GMA today.

Wendy Williams and I want to talk about do you see that they're doing a lifetime movie?

What?

They're always doing a lifetime movie.

With Wendy Williams.

Oh, what's it about?

So she's about her?

So she is like a, I guess like a two-project deal.

I watched GMA this morning and I found out.

She is doing a docus series like about her life, her breaking into the into the industry, and then like a live-action movie about like her life.

And they gave a sneak peek of a clip on GMA of the scene where the woman who's playing Wendy faints while wearing the Statue of Liberty and the girl does a really good job.

Oh, wow.

It'll be, I find those movies to be so weird, but they are.

They are, but I feel like because Wendy's involved, it is going to be better than some of the others.

So, you should really watch Good Morning America more often.

It's very informative.

Yeah, and then when you're done with that, you head over to Good Morning Millennials.

Yeah, GMM.

GMM, baby.

Big B.

Okay, next story.

Kelly Clarkson's talk show could take Ellen DeGeneres' spot.

I've been hearing this.

You know, this sort of answers some of the questions that we had a few weeks ago.

Ellen may not be dancing so hard amid rumors over the future of her show.

Stop that.

Opening line is hysterical.

She is struggling to hold on to her fan base following troubling accusations

over her behavior.

With just one year left on her existing deal, the multi-millionaire host will enter talks about the Ellen DeGeneres show next month, Page Six has learned.

Her ratings have slipped 8% according to stats, and the Kelly Clarkson show, which airs after Ellen in most syndication markets, could well take the Ellen Show's 3 p.m.

spot if it comes to an end, insiders are musing.

I mean, this seems like a natural progression of things.

Ellen is not going to stay on the air forever.

And after like the last year, I think probably the end of her contract, which I think gives us another season, is probably the best time for her to step down.

And Kelly Clarkson is like a fresh show.

Everyone's loving it.

Great guests, great content, Kelly Okee.

So I think it would make sense for, and I actually think Ellen probably likes Kelly Clarkson.

I like to think.

Yeah, I mean, I'm sure it will sting no matter who it is, but...

At least like there's some, I just feel like right now it's just a tough time to be in like daytime talk show or just having a talk show.

It's always a tough business, even for a celebrity so, you know, talented and iconic like Harry Connick Jr.

You know, it's really hard to make it work.

And I feel like, especially now.

I feel like you took that cancellation of Harry's show, Harry Connick Jr.

I feel like you took that really hard.

I did because I used to watch it sometimes while I was getting my nails done and I thought it was so good.

I never saw a lick of it, but he's a handsome fella.

Yeah, so if he can't make it, like it's no one can.

No, you're right.

But Kelly's doing it.

But even like when you think about the Drew Barrymore show, what happened?

I feel like we heard about it so much for two weeks and I have not heard about it since.

That happens a lot.

Like there's so much hype for a TV show, like all this money put behind it.

And then it's just gone a flash in the pan.

Yeah.

So I don't know what happened to Drew.

I don't think she might still launch.

She might still be.

I don't know.

I mean, the reviews were not good.

Kelly just really persevered like through it all.

I feel like she put a lot of time and effort into styling the show's set and the whole run of show.

And I feel like she was really involved.

And it's really good.

Yeah.

She also just has that genocide quad.

Like you can't put your finger on it.

Yeah.

It's just that X factor of relatability plus celebrity, you know, similar to what we have.

And

very, very similar.

No, I agree.

I think she's made for this job and I think it'll probably, it will be her, I do.

And I can't think of who else it would be to replace Ellen's time slot.

Yeah, I agree.

Okay, next story, a little new romance.

Hannah Brown holds hands with rumored boyfriend Adam Wollard on a romantic LA outing.

Is she officially off the market?

Hannah Brown was spotted getting cozy with model Adam Wollard days after Bachelor Nation fans identified him as her mystery man.

The Alabama native was photographed holding hands with him as they walked through downtown LA on Monday.

In photos obtained by the Daily Mail, the two some were dressed down in sneakers and each wore face masks to keep themselves safe.

So, Newman.

What does he do?

He's a model.

A famous one?

I hadn't heard of him.

I feel like Hannah could do better.

Not in terms of looks, just in terms of like fame.

Yeah, but I feel like it's kind of maybe she actually likes him, you know?

No.

No, I'm sure she does, which is nice, but like, I just love when famous people date other famous people.

Yeah.

But I also just like hope that she's happy.

Yeah, me too.

I mean, she really fell off the face of the earth.

I know.

She was everywhere for so long, like, in our faces, just like dancing with the stars and just doing the most and having so much success.

And then, obviously, the scandal happened.

And then she just kind of

lived just a quieter life.

Yeah.

So, but now she's stepping out with a new man.

He's handsome.

Yeah.

Not as handsome as you, Ben.

No, or as handsome as Maverick.

Stop.

Ben wasn't even listening.

He doesn't even know what we're talking about.

Ben, what was the last thing we just said?

As we say, I'm listening.

This is just like the shit on Ben Show.

That's what we'll call it.

The shit on ben show.

Also, a part of me is always going to ship her and Tyler C.

Like ever since the quarantine crew.

No.

I feel like if it was going to happen, it would have.

And it didn't.

So I'm moving on.

Okay.

Speaking of, we were talking last night.

Have you been, I mean, I know you have, but I'm just going to phrase the question that way anyway have you seen this video that's going around of matt tyler and like a couple of their a couple of their friends playing golf yes i have there's an instagram story going around i guess it was deleted but one of the bachelor fan pages picked it up um where one of the guys that they're playing golf with it's not matt and it's not tyler makes like a really

not cool joke about victoria and her body and then they all laugh laughed it was really like and again victoria is like does herself no favors in terms of like being so mean on the show, but then like you see a video like that and all of a sudden she becomes a sympathetic character.

You know, Victoria is the worst, but that still means, doesn't mean you can't say anything like that.

No, no, no, no.

It made me feel like so uncomfortable.

And she took it in stride and posted like a sickening photo of like a

hilarious photo of her in a bathing suit and just like wanted to obviously address it, but that she was really fucked up.

She also posted a hysterical meme

of like a beauty contest and like a guy on the couch.

Her nose is too big.

Her nose is too big.

And it's like, these girls are stunning.

And it's nothing of the sort.

And I felt like that sums it up.

Yes, I agree.

Yeah, I figured we would talk about that during the bachelor recap, but I just found that whole situation to be really disappointing.

Me too.

Okay, next story for the Kim Ye stance.

I don't know what this means, but Kanye has returned to LA after the quote split.

But like, maybe he's there to sign the papers, you know?

Or maybe he's there to go to counseling.

You could sign the papers virtually, like with DocuSign and e-readers.

Like, you could totally do it virtually.

Yeah, Kanye has been spotted for the first time since Page 6 claimed that he is separating from Kim.

The 43-year-old rapper was spotted arriving Sunday by private jet at Van Nye Airport in LA from his ranch in Cody, Wyoming, where he's been holed up.

So this could mean anything.

Yeah.

Like, literally anything.

And I'm just going to take it to mean that, like, the virtual counseling wasn't really going well.

Maybe the Wi-Fi was bad in Cody, and so he came to LA so that they could do it in person and fix what needs to be fixed and move on with their happy family.

No, that's a definite possibility.

I do think it's wild how we've literally not heard a peep from either one of their camps on whether or not this is true.

Like we're still speculating and I just feel like by now we normally would have heard something.

I just think that the

they haven't made a decision yet.

They don't know.

Oh you think?

Yeah.

I think that they're trying to work through it and they'll see if they can.

Or maybe they're just waiting for the television show like to

maybe.

I don't know.

I just think that they're

They haven't made the decision.

I really do.

And I I think they're trying.

I think him showing up is like, this is me trying.

This is me trying.

Yeah.

Okay, well, honestly.

He heard that song.

He was like,

Fire of the Jets.

He loves Taylor Swift.

Yeah, he does.

I mean, I obviously hope these two can work it out.

But if not, I'm just looking for some sort of resolution.

This like purgatory period.

Are you or aren't you?

I'm fine with this purgatory period because if it proceeds.

It gives you hope.

Yeah, and it's like, if the end of this is that they're over, like, I would rather be in this period where I do have hope.

Yeah, I feel that.

Okay, our fifth and final story is a little sports biz news.

Now that that we're the premier sports podcast, a little sports biz news.

Budweiser, like Coke and Pepsi, will be passing on Super Bowl 2021 commercials.

What?

Yep, the king of beers won't be reigning over the Super Bowl 2021 commercial space this year.

Have you heard this, Ben?

No.

Do you want to join us?

I feel like you could give some details.

It's a crazy story.

Yeah, I mean, it makes sense once I give you the details.

I thought it was just because, like, 2021 is nothing of the sort.

Like, why would we spend $55 million on a 30-minute ad?

But no, that's not it.

Budweiser is the latest corporation to back out of advertising during this year's broadcast, choosing instead to join a public awareness campaign for the COVID-19 vaccine.

For the first time in 37 years, the company won't air its game-stealing commercials.

They said, quote, like everyone else, we are eager to get people back together, reopen restaurants and bars, and be able to cheers with family and friends.

To do this and to bring consumers back into neighborhood bars and restaurants that were hit exceptionally hard by the pandemic, we're stepping in to support critical awareness of the COVID-19 vaccine.

I don't understand.

It actually makes no sense.

So they're trying to use this time and energy and money to encourage people to get the vaccine so that people can start going to bars and restaurants and people can start ordering Budweiser there.

Okay, and the restaurants could be safe.

But also, we could just also open bars and restaurants.

No, also, okay, the $55 million Budweiser would have spent, why don't you donate some of that to the local bars and restaurants that serve your Budweiser?

Yeah, like donate some to the Barsworth Fund.

Yeah, no, they're like inadvertently trying to help bars and restaurants through like a PSA to get the the vaccine, but like your money would actually go a lot further if you just gave it directly.

Yeah, they are going to route some money to the ad council's efforts to raise public awareness about the vaccine, as well as a 90-second COVID-themed film called Bigger Picture, narrated by actress Rashida Jones.

I've had enough of COVID films, okay?

The Real Housewives of OC is just one long film.

The COVID film we never asked for.

Honestly, this year has been the unofficial COVID film festival, and you're all losers.

Other Super Super Bowl commercial giants such as Pepsi, Coke, and Hyundai will also take a step back from this year's game.

Hyundai?

Hyundai?

She says it on purpose, I think.

No, but like, I just pronounce it phonetically.

Hyundai.

Hyundai?

Hyundai.

Hyundai, millennials.

Ben, what do you think about this?

I think that it is

just

fake news.

Like, they're not running Super Bowl ads because the last couple of years, people are saying that they're not profitable.

The reason why that's stupid

is because this year, I think it would be profitable.

Everybody's sitting at home.

It's going to be the highest-rated Super Bowl.

It's Tom Brady, Patrick Mahomes.

Oh.

Everyone is going to be watching, and it's worth the premium.

And the Super Bowl ads, just you can't run advertising like that, like through an influencer or online.

Like those, like long threads,

have you heard of the Morning Toast?

Yeah, like, sure, you could do podcast reads.

Their money would be better spent here.

I'll take the 55 mil.

They should run Super Bowl ads.

Can we talk to you about something then?

Of course.

You know, we did a big Super Bowl segment yesterday because obviously there was a lot of football over the weekend, and we figured out that, you know, the Tom Brady's are going against the Jackson Mahomes.

And we want to get your take because, you know, we are now one year strong of predicting the outcome of the Super Bowl.

We knew last year.

It was not the time for the San Francisco 49ers.

It wasn't their time.

And we were completely right.

Now, before we make our official prediction, we're still weighing all of our options.

We would like you to weigh in with your opinion about who's won.

Whose time it is?

Is it?

It's Tom Brady's time.

Is it summertime?

School's out.

Scream and shout.

Sorry, continue.

It's Tom Brady's time.

It's always Tom Brady's time.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

They went on the road, won three very difficult games, and now, for the first time ever, I don't know if you guys know this.

Everyone knows, yeah.

Okay, you do.

The Super Bowl is played at a neutral site.

Oh, yeah.

Every single year.

We know that.

All right, it's at home.

Give us some.

They have a home game.

It is crazy, though, that, well, I was overhearing Zach's sports show, so I have a thought about that.

But it is crazy that that's never happened before.

That's what's crazier.

Not that it's happening, but that it's never happened.

She said.

It's like playing a roulette wheel.

Yeah.

Yeah.

One in 32 chance.

I hear what you're saying about it being Brady's time, but I do think you're missing out on pertinent piece of information and the kind of secret weapon that the Kansas City Chiefs have, which is Jackson Mahomes.

Tell us, do you follow Jackson Mahomes on TikTok?

For those who don't know, Patrick Mahomes is like the best, right?

He's the quarterback.

He made $500 million, biggest contract in NFL history.

And his brother is a TikToker who kind of travels with him to all the games and like, you know, does like cringy TikTok videos on the jet and in the sweets.

And it's honestly so cringy and so fun to watch.

And I think that he's a secret weapon that a lot of sports analysts are underestimating this year.

First and foremost, we have to be nice to Jackson Mahomes because that is the most bullied man in America.

It's terrible.

What they do is in TikTok.

The comments are awful.

The way you guys talk about him, I would never know.

Yeah, no, he's just

iconic.

He's insanely roasted.

He's like the most successful clout chaser, just like living off of his brother.

And I'm living for him.

No, I love that.

They say such mean things.

The kids are so mean to him on TikTok.

So mean.

He is not even close to the secret weapon.

He is like the polar opposite.

He is an embarrassment.

I'm sorry.

I said it's we we shouldn't be mean to me.

You just said the kids are being mean and then you said he isn't.

And now we are the only one.

But it's the truth.

Two weeks ago, Pasha Mahomes got a concussion in the game.

Do I have a pimple or something?

You're staring at my forehead.

Oh, my God.

You do have a pimple.

Okay, can you like it?

I didn't say anything.

You brought it up.

Yeah, but you're staring like there's like, I have a third eye.

Well, I'd look on camera.

Don't have a pimple, and then I won't stare.

Pastor Mahomes gets a concussion.

Everybody's so worried.

Mid-game.

Jackson Mahomes TikToking.

His brother was literally taken off the field.

We live for the Thirst.

Yes, Jackson.

So relatable.

Live for the Thirst.

The guy is so popular.

Jackson Holmes, 700,000 followers.

It's not even that good.

Take Jack's the most viral platform in the world.

He should have 10 million.

He could be doing better in terms of growth.

Ben, maybe you should manage him.

Yeah, that's what I need.

Yeah.

So we haven't officially decreed.

No, and also when I was listening to Zach's show, they said that, yes, having that home court advantage will be an interesting touch, considering it's never happened before.

But this year, it's kind of irrelevant because, one, they're bringing in a lot of like healthcare workers into the stadium, not necessarily Bucks fans, like Just because of the way that this fan seating is going to work, it doesn't really play.

It's not going to be full of Bucks fans.

No, but to me, Tom Brady gets to sleep in his own bed.

He gets to go into his own locker room.

He gets to take a shit in his own bathroom.

Go on the field.

He definitely switches out.

He has a heated toilet.

For sure.

A toto.

Love that for him.

Rich.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I'm still weighing my options.

I'm leaning towards Tom Brady, but Travis Kelsey, he does not lose, you know?

No, the Chiefs are unbelievable.

Like on paper, they're they're unbelievable.

I really think it's the old guard versus the new.

Yes, I fucking said that.

Yes, no, but then you said it, and then Tony Kornheiser said it.

Oh, you're watching PTI there.

That's what he was watching.

And it's really true.

Like, Patrick Mahomes is the future of the sport, but Tom Brady is the past and the present.

And so,

whose time is it?

Wait, no, it's like, who are we betting on?

The past or the future?

There's one guy that's been to 10 Super Bowls.

There's one guy that's now going to be in his second.

Tom Brady has been to more Super Bowls, twice as more Super Bowls than anybody ever.

Patrick Mahomes has won every Super Bowl he's been in.

That's true.

It's a good, it's a hot take.

Hot take.

Well, thank you for that, Ben, and thank you for the business news segment.

And we will let you know when we come down with our official decree.

We're going to do a little bit of bacherette recap.

Ben actually walked with me, so maybe you'll be able to give some insight.

I know.

We'll just like breeze through it because it was honestly a terrible episode.

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So let's talk about The Bachelorette.

We, I mean, the episode was so long.

It was so bad.

And so bad.

And I've said this, and it's getting really frustrating because I feel like I get to this point every couple seasons with The Bachelor and Bachelorette where I just really feel like they're wasting our time.

Like last night, night, we didn't get the final Rose ceremony.

Now we're, it used to be the episodes ended at the Rose ceremony, but now it's like they end right before the Rose ceremony.

It's so frustrating.

And these women, I know that women like Victoria and Anna are these like necessary evils.

Like they make the show go round.

But I do feel like we've evolved past the need for them.

Yeah, I agree.

My only thought from last night's episode is like, one, to bring in all these new girls is so annoying.

There's still too many people there.

But the way that the OGs, as they call themselves, treated these girls as if they chose to come in second string.

Like, they've been at Nemicolin just as long as you've been.

They've been in a room alone by themselves.

You think being here for Matt was hard?

Imagine being sequestered alone, knowing you're coming in second string.

Like, hallelujah.

Holding girls

are the most, like, everyone who's there is some of the most eligible girls in America.

You're no better than them that you got to go first.

Like, to.

come in second sucks as it is and then to be there and have people treating you as if you chose it this way.

Right.

That was that was the thing like first of all new you want to be mad at someone be mad at the producers yeah be mad at matt don't be mad at these girls the new girls coming in made the old girls look so bad like come off more insecure and jealous and then downright mean like being so catty fucking middle school bullshit and then when the new girls came in I couldn't deal with everyone yelling at them like it was their choice to show up three weeks late like that's how the show works you're mad don't yell at Britney go yell at Mike Fleis yeah it was just you're directing your anger in the wrong place and you're just being mean.

They were being so mean.

It was really shocking because I really feel like all of these girls obviously have watched every season of The Bachelor, know how it goes down and know how to get themselves to the other side looking good on Paradise a million followers.

It's pretty fucking easy.

So to be that mean to them was like, oh, you just forgot where you are and who you are and that is just not acceptable way to act.

And even though Vibrator Girl was like so on the right side of history.

You know, like I'm not like a fan of hers per se.

She was completely correct.

I'm surprised she was alone in that too.

Like she didn't have anything.

I know not one other person who could see it that way, who could see the other side.

And like I thought the way that she went to Matt was the perfect way to go about it and just say, coming from you, it would mean so much more.

I tried it.

They don't listen to me.

Like she was just on a whole other level from all of these people.

Just

she was a woman and the rest were girls.

100%.

I was worried that Matt was like not gonna have the right reaction because he's kind of stinking.

Well, so no, the thing is.

He's stinking up.

He's stinking.

We don't even know what his reaction is because it doesn't happen until next week.

It sounded like he took what she said seriously.

But I want him to ask, like, who said what and and like if he doesn't take action next week and send anna home like i i'm dead serious i'm stopping watching the show because i was getting so furious watching this whole thing with brittany anna and the escort of it all yeah so okay so much of it bothered me first of all anna just bothers me like she thinks she's so everything of the sort and i'm here to break it to her that she's not second of all i i it's one thing to like spread rumors with baseless accusations like you have literally no proof but it's another to-do one on television where that follows you, and that's why Katie was getting so upset.

And I agreed with her.

Like, and by the way,

if you want to be an escort, that is your business, like your body, do what you want with your life.

But, like, people exist outside of this show, they have families, they have jobs, they have things, and like, just to put it out there, just because you felt like being a bitch bothered me so much.

And literally, as I was watching the episode, I'm scrolling Twitter, and there's this New York Post article, and it's like, who is Brittany Galvin?

The girl accused of being an escort.

And it's like, that's just what her name is now.

You Google her because Anna felt like it.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, no, I'm sure she got messages of people saying that she's an escort, but similar to what was that guy's name from last season who was like the worst, Yosef.

Oh, yeah.

And how there was like all someone got messages about him and this girl.

And it's like, I don't care about DMs you got before the show.

Like, unless you're going to show me the DMs and go to the source and ask for their proof, I do not care what anybody sent you before the show.

And like, even.

But then Yosef proved himself to be an asshole.

Oh, for sure.

And like, he was a queen.

He was the worst because of that.

But like, not because he had this, like, because he ghosted a girl before the show.

Like, I don't give a shit.

No, but like, the way Brittany handled it, she came out looking like the victor.

Yeah.

And so I think if she stays around longer, like, I think this whole escort thing like will be squash.

But it's just like, I just want any contestant who's going on the show to know, like, I don't care what someone told you over DM, whether it's true or not.

It, it.

means nothing to the show.

Everyone's coming on the show like with a clean slate almost.

I only know what I see on TV.

Yeah, no, I couldn't agree more.

I'm not interested.

And also,

I was confused confused as the timeline.

Like, when did you get these messages?

Because you don't have a phone.

No, okay, so this is what I think happened.

I think the cast was announced.

I think those girls who were second string were announced with the OGs.

And before they went, someone was like, watch out for her.

And then I'm sure she showed up night one.

Anna was like, oh, this girl's not here.

And then she came in and was like.

It was confusing.

Yeah.

I'm just done with Anna.

Like, honestly, I know Victoria.

And Victoria was being an animal last night.

And she's so wrong.

And then she took the crown off of that girl's head.

I was like, oh, this is

so disrespectful.

It like did not sit right with me.

But, like, the thing is, is Victoria is like so bold in her meanness.

Like,

I almost like, I expect it from her.

I hate it more when people like Anna, like, claim like they're, you know, Matt needs to know, like, to do it in a way that's so fake and not, you're trying to be earnest, but like, I know you're just spreading rumors 100%.

At least Victoria knows that she is.

And as much as I find her rude and disrespectful, like, I kind of respect the fact that she's so upfront with her villainous vibes.

Whereas, like, Anna's literally pretending to be a bad thing.

You know,

yeah, it really fucking bothers me, and I was really getting upset.

And if Matt doesn't do anything, like, I will be so annoyed with him.

Yeah, well, I will say, I'm one, I'm glad that they brought in group number two because it really showed everyone's true colors from group number one.

Agreed.

Everyone who was pretending to be like so perfect and sweet beforehand, like, we see you now.

Thank you.

Thank you for showing up.

And the girl who got a one-on-one was a precious shem of

a teacher.

Like, I think she will go very far.

I think that her and Matt have an outstanding connection.

And so I think the ultimate group and Matt's, like, love connections are better off for it.

I completely agree.

What did you say?

And I also feel like the fact that he would send some people home when he just got these new girls here.

It's like, you guys had all this time with Matt.

Like, if they made more of an impression on him in one night than you've done in two weeks, that's on you.

Could not agree more.

Ben, what about you?

Oh, also, Kit is everything of the sort.

Yeah.

Who were some of your standouts?

I've just been listening to your dialogue, and, and you know, this show really sucks ass.

Yeah.

Like that's just like what it comes down to.

No, you're so right.

I've never really liked this show.

No, I know.

I really, the first episode we watched together, I really got into it.

I thought it was good.

You watched this episode.

Fighting for Love.

They have them boxing.

It has no fucking, it has nothing to do with it.

Don't do it with fighting for love.

No, it's like in school maintenance, you're not going to have a calculator in real life and you have to do it all without a calculator.

It's like attached to my hand.

It doesn't even make any sense.

And then it's like a girl gets socked in the the face and he's coddling her.

And then the episode like, I guess, I think this is right before that happens.

He's like working out shirtless in the jungle.

Like the whole thing.

The

whole thing is just so stupid and like it doesn't make any sense.

And I raise an excellent point.

And then I finally when they read the date card fighting for love and all the girls were like, oh, they knew.

It's terrible.

Yeah.

They're always fucking fighting for love.

And Ben's right.

Like your ability to beat up vibrator girl has no bearing on your connection with Matt.

Like it's so stupid.

And honestly, like, it's so.

But are you willing to fight for him?

No.

Yeah, it's.

Because I have to go on a date and be on television.

I don't want one of my teeth knocked out.

Yeah.

It's terrible.

So stupid.

Also, I don't remember her name.

Anna looks just like Phil Dunphy's wife, the actress.

Julie Bowen.

That's a good call.

Twins.

That's a good call.

Twins.

But I like Julie Bowen much more.

Maybe too.

It's funny.

The other thing that I hate about this franchise is that you know that Victoria and Anna are never getting sent home, even though he does not like them.

They'll get sent home.

No, but I'm saying, like, they'll last longer.

You know, like the second Anna was getting like so much FaceTime right at the end.

There's one rose left.

She's like, I don't want to get sent home.

I don't want to get sent home.

You're like, of course, like they're going to keep her.

Like you know the rose is going to her, then it goes to her.

The show's just very, very predictable.

I really don't like it.

Last thing, I think that bringing in the second batch of girls actually was worse for the second batch.

I know that the first was like really, really upset.

Like it was, it was clear.

But how much does it suck to come for one day and be sent home?

Oh, yeah.

Half the girls got sent home.

They got there that day, so you quarantined for a month.

Only one of the new girls, she was wearing like a bikini, like in the hair.

Okay, whatever.

And short hair.

She got sent home.

So she quarantined for three weeks.

It's awful.

That's awful.

100%.

Yeah.

100%.

But also the girl that made out with him, that was like...

Britney, I like her.

It was pretty bold.

Yeah.

What would your first entrance be?

You'll say, I'm the bachelorette, and I'm standing at this mansion, and you have to make an impression.

Hmm.

I really don't know.

So don't make fun of Brittany.

She was just being

trying something.

She was just being creative.

When did I make fun of her?

Just now.

I don't think I made fun of her.

He said it was bold.

Yeah, I think you did.

Yeah, I said bold.

So that's our bachelorette recap, and we'll see if I'm still watching next week.

Yeah, it's wearing at my patience.

Me as well.

Okay, now it is time for a very fun segment called Girls.

Did Ben read it the book?

So we, you know,

we're going to tell you.

We're going to tell you.

We spoke a lot of shit about you.

I know you don't listen to our show, but we spoke a lot of shit about you.

Yeah, but I get all the shit.

Everybody DMs me like, Claudia, you said this about you today.

Guys, please stop fucking doing that.

Have you read it yet?

So

we were giving you shit for not reading it, and you read it a week ago.

And I did update everyone, but a lot of people don't believe you.

So Jackie's going to quiz you.

I'm going to quiz you on some of the facts and stories from the book.

Great.

And nothing too difficult.

Let's not spoil too much because a lot of people haven't read it yet.

If you have a general sense of the book.

First question: What is the name of Claudia's one true love?

Maverick.

Yes, very good ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding okay what is one thing that tastes as good as skinny feels

how am i supposed to remember this

donut oh yeah krispy green yeah it's a part of the list yes yes

what was your favorite photo from the photo insert oh

doo doo doo you know

like i could say the one of us at our wedding like I'm not going to lie to you, I would have loved another photo of us that was like a little bit less filtered.

Maybe if you had read the book earlier,

you could have had some input.

Yeah, that's very interesting.

I like all the old photos of you guys.

They're really cute.

You and your dad is a cute one.

Okay.

Those are good.

Okay, what was the sh movie that inspired Claudia and Jackie to start a morning show?

I've watched it.

It's with,

what the fuck is her name?

Is it called The Morning Show?

That's like what the name.

I've seen the show.

I've watched the movie with you guys in Window.

I'm just forgetting.

Jamie McAdams and McAdams.

Rachel McAdams.

Rachel McAdams.

Yes, yes.

Morning Glory.

Morning Glory.

Pretty good movie.

What's his name?

Harrison Ford.

No.

Patrick Wilson.

Yeah.

What else is he in?

He's the one in the commercials.

What?

The guy that she keeps getting rejected by, that's like the studio head.

Oh, Jeff Goldblum.

Oh, Jarvis.com.

Goldblum.

Oh, not as good as Jeff Goldberg.

Yeah.

What was that?

Def Goldblum.

Is it Ace of Cake?

Yes.

By the way, so you know that Ace of Cake's name is Duff Goldblum.

Yes.

And you know his real name is Jeff?

Really?

So I got confused one time.

Jeff Goldblum?

Jeff Goldblum.

Yeah.

Yes.

Very confusing.

Okay, Claudia just has a chapter where she describes stans and fans.

Growing up, who did each of the Ashre sisters stan?

In sync and bachelor boys.

Who was who?

Jackie was

Bachelor Boys.

Olivia was in sync.

And

Jackie and Margo really didn't care about either of them.

They were just using you for your room.

Claudia and Claudia.

I was Claudia and Margo.

Claudia and Margo.

Don't spoil too much, Ben.

Okay, who does Claudia stand in her young adult, not adult, young life?

Joe Jonas.

And Margo?

It was a brief sentence, brief mention.

I didn't even know.

I don't even remember writing that.

But I know who you are.

Who does Margo stand up?

Growing up.

I'll give you a step.

Growing up.

Yeah, give me a clue.

Oh, baby.

Pretty serious.

Yes.

Oh, yeah, I remember.

There was that one line.

Yes.

Who Who does Claudia have a poster of in her college dorm room?

You should know.

Yeah, I have been there.

Joe Jonas?

No.

Acceptable answers would have been Taylor Swift or One Direction.

Yes.

Okay, last question for the win.

Where are Claudia's favorite muffins from?

The corner store outside of NYU.

Yes!

Called Space Market.

Iconic Muffins.

So good.

Double chocolate chip.

Head over University and 8th Street.

So good.

You did it right.

Did I read it?

Losers.

Yes.

Book.

Yes.

We're so happy.

Thank you.

I knew you read it.

I was there.

Yeah, I was there.

But some people just didn't.

I was there.

Some people just didn't believe you, pops.

No, no, it's because you've been spreading false libels.

No, but you have to come on the show.

Is that a term?

It's a double, like, libels are libels.

Like, you don't have to say false.

So it's just, because

you've been spreading libels.

No, but no, it's like you've been libeling.

Yeah, or like libelis.

You've been libeled.

You've been libeled.

You've.

That's a name game.

You've been libeled.

Everyone, please check out my book, girlhousenojob.com/slash book, and it's now available nationwide.

6666.

No, seriously, anywhere you get.

Come to the

bus, remember six.

Riding around town.

Jump on

jumping at a motor.

Remember six.

Best ride in town.

Wherever you want to go.

Carmel is number.

Ride Carmel and be on town worldwide and nationwide.

666, 6666.

Remember 6?

By the way, totally.

Are they a little anti-Semitic?

The Sugar Nuts.

What are you, Miss Sugar Nuts?

We've already talked about it.

They've already talked about this occurrence.

Yeah, but apparently they're named after Mount Carmel, which is in Israel.

And I think think it's like a Jewish-owned car company.

So they're allowed to make jokes.

So it's like a Jew-on-Jew joke.

Yeah, but it's just a bad joke.

I really don't want to go back and say, okay, I'm sorry.

Sorry.

Anti-Semitic Carmel thing.

Like, we did literally an entire episode on it.

My book is available anywhere you can get books, audiobooks, e-books, hardcover books, everywhere.

Shop local, shop Amazon, shop Bards and Noble, shop indie.

Thank you so much for the never-ending support on this book.

I hope you're all enjoying it and that you're just

cuddled up at home with your Dr.

Fichemin reading this book.

And it's supposed to be a snow day here, so it's a beautiful day to read a book.

I mean, it's always a good day to read my book, but yes, you're right.

Yes.

Guys.

That's all she wrote.

That's all she wrote.

Thank you later.

That's literally all that she wrote in this book.

Just 240 pages.

Thank you so much for listening to The Morning Toast, the Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fast fact stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up.

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Happy Pub Day to me.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.