Sisters in Reflux: Wednesday, September 3rd, 2025

Good morning, girlies.

It's the toast.

It's Jackson Claude and we're your hosts.

It's your favorite show, the fast five things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly.

It's the toast.

They sound amazing.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Wednesday.

It is hump day.

Don't Don't forget to hump someone you love.

And speaking of sorrelies that I particularly adore and would love just the opportunity to hump, but I know I'm asking for too much.

Jeffer.

It's Jackie.

Oh, hey, Jax, how you doing?

Hey, dern good.

Happy to be here.

Frog in my throat.

I'm like cracking up, even though it's not funny.

We haven't podcasted for two months.

And of course, the week that we come back, frog in my throat, I have like so much going on.

Mucus.

Mucus, cough, sore throat.

Like when I cough it hurts my throat i pee my pants it's just a podcaster's nightmare i know i left you guys on a cliffhanger yesterday about what we were gonna do with redheads and we did record last night and it requires so much editing from my coughing i can't breathe because also like my lungs are compressed so worse it's just my body was not like listening to my body my body is saying we're not fit to podcast and I'm saying I don't care I'm not listening to you No, it's kind of like, you know, breaking your ankle as a basketball player.

Our voice is our instrument.

It is our

most prized possession.

No, like a few days ago, I was like, what if I lost my voice and I legit could not podcast?

This morning, I was drinking hot water with

no, no, no.

I was just like, that's a real concern.

Like, I can still podcast like this.

It might be like frustrating.

I know you guys hate the frog in my throat.

Like, even when I don't have one, you guys hear one.

Yeah, they're like always making up.

Did you have a frog in her throat or is it just me?

Like, today I have multiple frogs.

This morning, I was drinking hot water with lemon and honey.

Like really, I felt like Ariana Grande.

Like okay, hot water is my instrument.

Hot water with lemon is like so anorexic.

Like it's like such a great,

it's such a crazy thing to order.

I feel like on housewise, like people are always ordering it when they like meet for whatever.

And I've actually never been in the presence of a psychopath who orders hot water with lemon.

Acting like it's a dish, you know, it's such a crazy thing.

Now, I understand you were doing it for medicinal purposes, but if anyone also because I am anorexic.

Yeah, if anyone in your life is ever like sitting down and in a serious way ordering hot water with lemon, like be concerned about them.

It's an extremely concerning thing to order.

Or they're just a podcaster who is trying their best to push through a tough time.

We've had like rolling sickness in our house the last few weeks of summer.

And you know what?

I'm fed up.

Yeah, sometimes when I'm getting sick, I just decide, kind of like with my period, I just decide that it's over.

Do you know what I mean?

It's like, it's not because I'm still bleeding, but like in my mind, it's over.

No, it's like so not over.

Just when is it going to be over?

I'm just, I'm fed up.

It's really inconveniencing me.

It's paining me.

I'm pregnant.

I have like, I'm like throwing up in the night for my acid reflux.

Then like that hurts my throat, which makes me cough, which makes me pee.

Like I can't.

That's so funny.

I, for very different reasons, also had acid reflux last night.

Because you were chuggalugging.

Yeah, because I had like a couple of cocktails that were really sugary.

The honey juice, the official cocktail of the fish.

What did your your sack get to?

So I had like something really unfortunate happen, like not to be a victim, but when you go to the U.S.

Open and you pay $25 for a cocktail, that's how much it is, the honey deuce.

They come in these like souvenir cups and it makes you feel better about the fact that you just spent $25 on a cocktail.

And the first honey deuce I got was like we were just walking the ground.

So it was like this like random bar.

And they were like, we don't have cups.

And I was like, okay, so it's free.

Like it was just it was the same price they just gave me a plastic cup and i said okay but you can't take a picture of that correct so this one i was drinking just to drink not to take a picture of the second one she was crossing

the second one i got was at a bar in a different stadium because i went to go see the devil's match and the bartender said i said hi may have two honey deuces please i got one for ben he said yeah we don't have cups or melon

which is like the signature garnish.

They have cantaloupe like balled out to look like a tennis ball, kind of like an olive and a martini.

They They put it on a toothpick.

It's so delicious.

It looks like a grape.

They ball it to perfection.

She was like, We don't have melon.

And they charge me full price.

No melon, no cup.

Full price.

Recession indicator.

So I was like, all right, this place sucks, first of all.

But for the second match, we're going to be in a suite.

It's going to be Pargi.

I'll slum it without my cup for the doubles match.

And then when I go to the Jokovich match, people at the U.S.

Open suffering drinking honey juices that they couldn't even take a photo of.

So I get to the suite.

I said, hi, may I i have two honey nooses please he said yeah

period i said oh that's great i'm so looking forward to my melons and my cup

he gives me two plastic cups

but i did get melon and like i had to take a picture in a plastic cup it was humiliating like

i want you to know i didn't notice anything was awry as i tapped through your story last night i just saw okay that's good influencing from the u.s open light with the best of them no i wasn't i I was with the worst of them because I didn't even get a cup, okay?

And I had to pay for like five drinks that I didn't even get the souvenir cup.

Yeah.

Now, let me tell you about my evening because it was insane.

Okay.

We pull up to the men's.

I told you guys yesterday.

Spritz has sponsored these two athletes.

They're a tennis doubles men's team.

They're super young.

They're super new.

You probably haven't heard of them.

And they are crushing it.

Like a couple of days ago, they beat this huge Italian team and they made it to the quarterfinals.

The quarterfinals were last night, they were playing this huge Argentinian duo, ranked number 10 in the world.

They won, like, it was literally insane.

They got interviewed on TV, they put on their spritz hats like me and men were screaming.

It was so exciting, they're so good, and everybody wants to know: like, are they single?

Are they single?

Are they single?

I found out yesterday because you guys were like asking so many questions, and I was embarrassing.

I like asked the coach, I'm like, Are they single?

One is and one isn't.

I forgot, I forgot who which one is which.

So I don't know if that helps anyone.

You have to do the legwork yourself.

Yeah.

I feel like, no, I'm like not sure at all.

They won.

It was so exciting.

They're playing again today.

So if you're like keeping up with the US Open, like make sure to cheer on our boys, Robert Cash and JJ Tracy.

I forget who they're playing today, but obviously someone good because now it's like the semifinals.

Like it's

huge.

As the owner of the team.

Yeah, as the Mark Cuban of the doubles team.

I don't think I'm going to go.

Like I went to the US Open, like I went hard, you know, yesterday.

Like went, I saw everyone.

everyone, I took pictures, like I did everything, and it's like it's good, you know, and and I like watching tennis in person, but I also really like watching it um on TV.

You scratched that itch, yeah, but it was so exciting that our boys won.

Like, I cannot believe we just like found ourselves, it's so us.

It's honestly, it's so Ben, like, to find yourself in the middle of a major cultural moment.

You know, he's forest gump of pop culture, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's classic, it's the benefact, and it's trickled down to us, and so I'm enjoying it.

But it does

stem from Lish.

It does.

It's the most ben thing to ever happen.

It's such a thrill.

I cannot wait to watch him play today.

Huge.

Huge.

Well, I'm glad you had fun.

I'm glad you got your U.S.

Open fix.

Oh, and then I had acid reflux from all the honeydeuces.

That was my point.

So we were sisters in reflux last night.

From all the grand magnet, you know?

Yeah, sisters in round ligament pain.

Just all of them.

Stack it up.

Stack it up.

Well, we're wishing you well.

How are you feeling on like a mood basis today?

Good.

I'm excited.

I feel like today's going to be textbook toast.

The stories are just like so stories.

And as promised, we have deer toasters.

I'm excited for dear toasters.

And they're hysterical.

I was chuckling to myself while reading them before.

A nice mixed bag, you know?

Yeah, love that.

Of the swirlies at different life stages.

I'm sure they've had a tough summer.

Of course.

The girls are in dire straits.

We're here.

We're like super nanny.

We are like super nanny.

I'm on my way.

Oh my.

Sorry, just, it had to be done.

I was fading.

Did you sense I was fading?

I didn't actually.

No.

Okay.

Like, my voice was getting like lower and lower.

So I just, oh, I just had to do it.

I was just, I was kind of focusing on my break.

I couldn't wait until the ad break.

Like, it had to be done.

It was such a thrill to be back yesterday and have so much fanfare, right?

Like, I know you're not on TikTok, but like, there was a million TikToks I saw.

Like, I'm not the toast back, the toast is back.

Comments, comments were like number three in the charts.

Everybody's like, you know, eating it up.

And I love that.

Let's keep it up maybe every day.

Yeah.

That kind of that energy, that like so

tagging us that you're watching and listening.

Content, engaging, comment, like, subscribe.

I'm not on TikTok, but like, I got a lot of mentions in my mentions highlight people enjoying the episode.

And I'm just, I'm so happy we're all back together.

Nature is healed.

It feels good.

Yeah, it definitely does.

Feels, that feels right.

Things, TFR.

TFR.

Speaking of that, feels right.

Redhead's episode, like, we read this book called The Bright Years.

Have you heard of it?

No.

I think it's like...

I've kind of taken a step back from the book space.

Yeah, me as well.

But I do think it's like swirling around.

You know?

There were some very disvisive opinions.

Disvisive?

Disvisive.

Yeah.

Let me guess.

Margot and Rit against you and Dana.

No.

No.

You and Margot against Dana and Rit.

No.

You and Rit against Dana and Margo?

Yeah.

Mostly, yeah.

Damn.

Yeah.

Dana and Margo aligned.

This hasn't happened since Dolly Alderton, All the Things I Know About Love.

That's the worst book.

That was the last book that they both loved so much.

Oh my God.

I like, you guys sold me so hard on that book.

And it was like one of the worst experiences of my life.

I'm sorry.

It was mid for me.

Like, it was good, but mid.

Yeah.

So that's what I've been up to.

And just my, I finished organizing my closet with my closet organizer yesterday.

So I just have like peace, you know?

My home is like getting back to, it's actually back to status grow.

Continuing to throw things in the garbage.

I love that.

Garbage, garbage, garbage.

One thing about me, like I'm going to throw it in the garbage, you know?

Oh, what's this?

Garbage.

Yeah, I don't care.

I'm always throwing things in the garbage.

Ben came in today and he was like, have you seen my turmeric?

And I was like,

no, I haven't seen your your turmeric.

There's a high likelihood I threw it out yesterday.

I was on like a big sweep.

There's more turmeric to be found.

If he misses a few days, he'll be okay.

It is what it is,

Tilly.

Anymore.

But actually, his turmeric habits and his commitment to the software

longevity institute of technology bode well for his sourdough journey that he has that discipline in him.

Except like I could see him getting nutty.

You know, people get crazy.

Like Olivia makes like, you know, blueberry, egg, McMuffin, sourdough.

Ben's going to be making like turmeric loaves.

Oh, for sure.

But you have time till that happens.

Like, we got a bread box.

He's going to be so hopped up on just sourdough, plain and simple.

And then he could also get to inclusions.

Like, it'll be a while till he takes it to the next level.

But he called me yesterday, like, looking for advice.

And I was like, he was telling me how he fed his starter.

He's like, I dumped some out and then I poured, put in more.

I was like, you have to put it in like another jar at some point.

Every once in a while, you can use the same jar two days in a row, but like you do need fresh.

He was like, I only have one jar.

Yeah, wait, not anymore.

So he did an Instacart from the dollar store and got like 15 mason jars.

They arrived, Jackie.

They're tiny.

Yeah, that's not going to work.

They're the wrong size.

He's like, I'll use them for pickling.

He'll use them for

jay.

Like, how is this my life?

Like, my kitchen is full of like yeast and pickles.

I can't.

I'll use them for pickling.

Okay, pickling, you'll never see the fruits of because you don't like pickles, but just wait till the bread comes.

Yeah.

It's a loaf story.

I'm open.

I know you are.

You're so open-minded.

I really am.

I just want to say.

I really am.

Like, I'm constantly.

Like changing my mind, learning, you know, new information and changing my mind.

Constantly.

I've been listening to so much, Sam Hunt.

Constantly, after immense years-long pressure campaigns.

You are constantly changing your mind.

And I know what people are going to say.

Well, Claude, have you changed your mind yet on Justin Baldoni?

Oh, I wasn't even thinking that.

And the answer is no.

No.

Only now because, like, I can't.

I have to be a team Blake forever.

You have to be principled.

And the thing is, if I ever get to a point where like I do switch sides, it will be more so like out of dislike for Blake Lively.

I will never be championing.

Like, I'm not buying what Justin Baldoni is saying.

However, I could see a world in which in this, like we learn more and the case comes out that like I'm not siding with Blake anymore.

But just to be clear, like I ain't riding with Justin ever.

Okay.

I think that's fair.

Yeah.

There was something else I was thinking about like so

it reminds me of Blake and Justin where it's like it took up so much of our brain space for so long and like so passionate and now it's like my position is I don't give a rip.

Yeah, it's really yeah.

You know what else I feel that way about now since Since like something you cared so much about.

Like something that was so hot.

Everyone was like hot take, not even hot take, but like opinionated, like big story.

And now I'm just like, I don't give a fuck.

Love Island?

No.

You were on maternity leave, so maybe it'll slip your mind, but because football's back in session and UNC played this weekend, Bill Belichick and Jordan.

Oh, I love Bill Belichick and Jordan.

Did you see she filed a trademark for a jewelry company named Gold Digger?

I did.

And it's like, when I see them together now, I don't give a fuck.

Oh, man, you want to ruin your life?

Go ahead.

Like that's not my problem.

And I don't feel passionate about it anymore.

I agree.

It was fun for like a week.

And now it's become like, it's like they're just a couple that gets followed and lots of paparazzi and lots of stories.

And I'm off the train.

I was on though for the week.

Yeah.

And I think that the train should have been stopped there.

Yeah.

But of course it kept going.

But they had like a swirly summer together.

They're very much together.

He doesn't give a fuck what you all think about him.

Neither does she.

So like, live in peace.

Go off.

I don't care.

Pop off, Jordan.

Pop off, Jordan.

Yeah, that's like, it's, it's as simple and as complicated as that.

Yeah.

So it's funny how you can like feel so strongly about something and then it just dissipates.

Yeah.

Well, I think that's kind of the culture now, right?

Like there's so much content, so much news, so many like famous people.

It's, you get so overstimulated.

Everybody, you're talking about something.

extensively nonstop for two weeks and then you never hear about that person again.

Yeah, but does it make you think about how you react to those things in the moment?

Do you feel like pressure to have a big feelings about it?

Okay, so there are a lot of pop culture stories where everyone's like tagging me or you because they think it's like something you really care about.

And I hate to disappoint people by saying like, I don't give a fuck.

Yeah.

I do feel sort of pressure to have big feelings about stuff sometimes.

And I'm gonna leave.

I'm gonna leave that in Q3.

Big little feelings.

Stop.

I love them.

We need to tell them.

Of course.

We need to tell them.

Have we not told that story?

We've never told this story.

Jackie sent me a graphic like a year ago of this podcast called Big Little Feelings.

And it was literally us in 10 years.

It's like a redhead, like a light porcelain skin.

Does she have red hair?

She has red hair.

She has my coloring.

And then like literally me, like a brunette.

And they have a podcast and they were like.

Jackie sent me a clip of theirs and they were filming in front of like banana leaf wallpaper.

And I was like, oh my God, is this our future?

It was literally like looking into a crystal ball.

Their podcast is called Big Little Feelings.

It's about motherhood and parenthood.

And apparently it's like a huge podcast.

And they recently signed to Dear Media, actually.

Right.

It is a huge podcast.

They have like a really big Instagram page, too, and it is literally us in 10 years.

It was the craziest thing to see.

It was the craziest thing.

And I kind of love it.

And like their artwork looks like ours.

I'm not even cutting it.

I'm not, nothing like copying or anything.

Just because they are us.

Yeah.

And it's like they're sitting with a microphone.

Hello.

They're podcasting and they're us and they're women and they're girls.

And so it's pink and it's us.

Green.

Yeah, a thousand percent.

So that always sparks joy for us when we see them out in the sphere.

It's so true.

In the real sphere.

Speaking of the sphere.

Speaking of the sphere.

I kind of want to go.

Yeah, but like of everything you've seen there, what would you want to go most for?

Nothing.

So

they're not catering to me, which is completely fine, but like Grateful Dead must miss.

Actually, boys, don't give a fuck.

Wizard of Oz.

Okay, so I saw The Wizard of of Oz.

That's like the one I was like, damn.

But it wasn't a concert.

No, it was like a 360 movie with like, you could feel the tornado.

So I think that would actually make me nauseous.

So again, pass.

I had heard whispers about Miley maybe doing a residency there.

Would love.

I need them to have someone there that I personally care about.

And like, then I'm down to make a trip of it.

I agree.

Rascal Flats at the Sphere.

Taylor.

Rascal Flats.

Or like, you know, literally anyone.

Like, I don't even, it doesn't need to be my favorite person.

It doesn't need to be like Taylor Schwift or Luke Homes, like someone I like.

Like, someone you would enjoy.

Yeah.

I'm down.

I'm telling you, Vegas is looking so attractive.

Let's go.

Like, sponsored by Vegas.

Okay.

You know what I mean?

I feel like the way we've been talking about me, especially, it sounds like I'm getting paid by the tourism board of Las Vegas.

And just

to be clear, I'm not.

You're not.

No, no, no, no.

I would take their money and I would do it still.

I would take their money and bet it all on red.

But I was just telling you, like, Vegas sounds like a good idea at this stage in in my life.

Vegas is always a good idea.

Yeah, it is.

It's not true.

I actually, I happen to love Vegas.

Like pre in my prior lives, I actually think it would be a fun trip to take with kids.

It's a little too far to just do like a weekend trip with kids from like the east coast.

But if I lived in LA, I'd be in Vegas.

So there are two reasons why I think living in LA, oh, remind me, I want to tell you something about Spencer Pratt.

Two things about LA.

And I have a notebook for that.

Oh, great.

Nothing makes me want to live on the West Coast or LA specifically, except for two things.

One, the proximity to Vegas.

Like, we really don't have an equivalent to that in the East Coast.

And I know everyone's going to say in Atlantic City, but like, please, if you've ever been there, you know it's nothing like Vegas.

I do like get jealous that people can do like weekend trips to Vegas.

That's really fun.

I also get jealous that they get to watch the sun set over the ocean as opposed to rise because like I'm never awake for the sunrise, but I'm always awake for the sunset.

Yeah.

Speaking of Spencer Pratt, I saw something when we were on break that was so crazy because we talked about it on the toes fire aid.

Remember that like concert that all the celebrities and musicians put on to like raise money for victims of the Palisades

fire aid.

So Spencer Pratt is on his investigative journalism shit.

And it turns out like none of the money Billie Eilish and Alanis Morissette raised.

It was like $100 million.

I think it was like $60 or $50 million that they raised.

Roundup.

Almost none of it.

Sorry, not almost.

None of it has made it to any victim of the fire.

Right.

And then Spencer posted this clip, like investigating, like, so the money, if you read their website, they were raising money.

This is always shady when like an organization is raising money for another organization.

It's like, well, you're the organization.

Like, do the work.

So they were giving money to like 100 organizations.

And

he posted this clip.

I got to find it.

It was really good.

But that festival that we talked about extensively, like all the celebrities getting together in like 72 hours,

pretty much helped nobody.

Right.

And where's the accountability?

Well, it's on Spencer Pratt's Instagram.

Like, where's the apologies?

Where's the money?

First of all, where's the money?

You know, let's get the money to the people.

But then it's like, well, who's the fraudster here?

Who's going to jail?

I want to see who's responsible.

Some jail time.

And then it's like fire festival.

Do we blame, you know, Emily Radikowski?

Do we blame Billie Eilish?

Like the celebrities involved who obviously like most likely didn't know about it.

they should feel stupid, but I don't blame them.

I don't like think there's malice there, but but feel stupid definitely legally and and think like before you lend your time and your energy to a fruitless fraudulent cause maybe lend it right to a fruitful cause.

It might be nice.

Lots of fruit.

So I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don't feel as though we should dilly dally that much more because we do have deer toasters and I don't want to rush.

I agree.

I'm ready to get into the fast five stories that you dot do need to know.

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Our first story, the Dancing with the Stars season four cast 34 cast has been revealed.

This is just, you know, like we're back to normal when this is our lead story, the Dancing with the Stars cast.

I actually have found this announcement to be quite exciting, and I am going to credit that to Mrs.

Earle.

Of course, seeing she was like one of the only people

seeing her official photos.

Look at her Instagram.

She posted like the official photos and it's like, it's just, it really feels like two worlds coming together because the photos are like so commercial, but like she's so TikTok and Instagram.

And I was so glad that they were in that environment.

They're leading with her, right?

Like she was one of the only people who was announced as a cast member like months ago.

And then she went on GMA this morning and announced the rest of the cast.

They're clearly like betting on Alex, which I love, like seeing the value in the Earl girl.

oh look at her she looks so cute

doesn't that make you excited no one thing about our show I'm not gonna watch

I'm not watching I am a fan like she's so cute I feel like she's just like a fun loving gal oh man she looks so cute yeah and I don't really know what it means people are like whenever someone gets cast they're like I need to know who her partner is like I don't know what it means but she's partnered with Valentin

now I feel like he's an OG like that's a good one yes also I only care when people aren't partnered if, like, the person is, like, single, eligible, and they wind up with someone like single and eligible because a lot of like love matches do come from dancing with the stars.

Right.

He is married to a fellow dancer.

They have kids together.

She's with Braxton.

She's not going anywhere.

She loves Braxton.

Well, think about Alex Earl.

She loves that guy.

She really loves him.

It's really beautiful.

It is like not her, you know, hocking over every week to Houston.

Yeah, as if she doesn't have enough going on.

She just like really loves him.

That's all that is.

I love that.

Because like she could be doing, and I would have loved it too if she was like, you know, bopping around dating Leonardo DiCaprio.

Like, she literally could.

She could date whoever she wanted.

And that would be fun.

And she'd be in the paparazzi a lot.

And it'd be cool.

But like, she's chosen stability.

And I love that.

She's chosen love.

And I think we could all learn something from Alex Earl because this is a girl with endless options, right?

She could date anyone.

And not that there's literally anything wrong with Braxton.

He's like a hot NFL player, but like she's chose someone like stable, someone safe, not like the coolest and richest guy who was going to like cheat on her, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love that.

Really beautiful.

So here's the cast of Dancing with the Stars.

Some of them we did already know.

First, we have Olympic gymnastic gold medalist Jordan Chiles, a perfect casting.

We always need a champion.

We do.

Is it fair?

Because she's literally a professional twirler.

It's more fair than other things have been.

Yes.

We have Dylan Efron, who won Traders, spoiler alert, and is brother of Zach.

Yes.

We have Boy Meets World alum, Dingelle Fischel, Topanga.

Topanga, cute.

We have, oh, cover your ears.

Pentatonic singer Scott Hoying.

Okay, so I know him from TikTok.

I like him.

And, you know, by the way,

harking back to the earlier conversation we had here, normalized learning new information and changing your mind.

I used to think pentatonics was like annoying and corny.

And then I heard their cover of, There can be miracles

when you believe, when you believe, though hope is forever.

Like, and I changed my mind.

Yeah.

No, they're really a talented bunch.

It's amazing what they can do without instruments.

It really is.

Also, Elaine Hendrix from Parent Trap, from Dynasty, Mike Queen.

She's such a great actress.

I'm excited for her.

That's like the perfect casting, like Alex Earl, like somebody huge on the rise.

And

Meredith Blake, like someone, not on the down, but like it's traditional.

The perfect

a traditional celebrity.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's Parje.

NBA all-star Baron Davis.

Congrats, Baron.

Actor and musician Corey Feldman.

Of course.

He's a child actor.

Yeah.

Fifth Harmony singer Lauren Draghi.

Okay, your inability to say her name.

You said it yesterday, too.

I think it's trying out different things.

It's Lauren Heragi, the one with the hole in her tights in the crotch from yesterday's, the Jonas Brothers performance.

Cool.

Yeah, you guys, I keep seeing more footage of the performance and I can't look away.

Which part of it is most shocking to you?

For me, it's the hole in the crotch.

Like, that's just insane.

For me, it's the out-of-syncness, for sure.

Of course, but that's textbook 5-H.

Like, when you pause it, like, they're all doing something different.

Yep, yep, yep.

And then also, when you watch each one of them individually, like, they really are trying,

and that makes it harder to watch.

And the thing is, if you just focus on Normani and everything else is like blurred, she's slaying.

Yeah.

In the greater picture,

she looks insane.

But no, the more she slays, like, the harder it is to watch.

I can't explain it, you know?

The whole thing was seriously insane.

But the crotch rip takes a wave.

Yeah.

And comedian Andy Richter.

Additionally, we already knew about Robert Irwin, the son of Steve Irwin, and

Jen Affleck and Whitney Liavitt from

Secrets.

Yes.

Her last name is Levitt.

Are you okay?

There's an A.

Shout out to yesterday.

There's an A because she's not Jewish.

Like if she, if there was no A, she would be Jewish.

Yeah, they actually have the upper hand here.

They're really good dancers.

They've got pizzazz.

I could see one of them winning.

Whitney Levitt is an insane dancer.

She's been coming up all over my TikTok and she always danced, but she's obviously been doing more dances like since the Dancing with the Stars news.

Jennaffleck is like

one month postpartum.

She looks insane.

She looks amazing.

Those women, like,

we were saying the last time we recapped Secret Lives of Mormon Wise that it's such an amazing show because they're all like actively in their childbearing years and they're not being like pushed to the side.

Like they're stars.

Yeah.

And it's so realistic.

Like they're on a girl's trip and one of them is like pumping while they're having a fight like it's really it paints this era of life like really nicely and it's nice that they're being they're stars you know at this stage but they're becoming a little unrealistic like they're so unrealistic skinny for women they're so skinny they're so perfect like they're all becoming so rich in like perfect looking also did you see that

Macy and Michaela named their daughters the same name and they're both like Charlotte one's Lottie and one's Charlie that's crazy yeah I mean they're not related so it's cute no and like they are different names charlie and lottie i don't know if i knew that like lottie was charlotti and i'm sure you've seen about whitney liavit that like two of her kids their names come from the same name like she has a liam and a billy which are both william

oh my god i never realized liam was william liam comes from william yeah and then billy no this doesn't bother me though because liam these days like

your kid's name is liam yeah Yeah, I think Whitney Liaovit could take it all.

And I just want to say, I agree.

Like, it's, it's, um, they're setting like a high standard for like postpartum women and pregnant women.

They're at Coachella dance with their bellies out.

Like, and that couldn't be me, but like.

Up until this point, like, this period of life has been skipped over.

You know, we either see like Jersey Shore or we see family vacation like or Real Housewives when you're like done.

Totally.

And I talked about this in my episode with Jesse when she came on the toast.

That it's really amazing for women what they're doing.

And just like, I completely agree.

Like they're still in the mix.

They're more relevant than ever.

Like nothing is really slowing them down and it's like also on the other side like if you want to slow down please do we all do yeah of course like the fact that you don't have to I think it sends a great message so I'm so I love them I hope they do great and new season comes like sooner November just announced

I can't Taylor Frankie Paul has a new man

Does she?

She posted a couple days ago like a carousel and I'm one of them.

Like she's with a guy with a guitar.

My phone volume like wasn't playing so I didn't hear what he was singing.

Up until recently, I didn't follow them on TikTok, I just let the show tell me what was going on on TikTok.

But I've started to follow Taylor, Frankie Paul, Whitney.

I always follow Jesse because she's a toaster.

Um, and I feel like I'm

you get like two seasons: you get the show on TikTok, and then you get the show in real life.

It's literally the best show, it's the best show.

I love it.

So, I'm excited to hear about Taylor's Man.

And she moved.

And we're going to see Dancy with the Stars, I assume.

Yeah.

On the show because it's a Hulu ABC

syndicate.

Yes.

Also, Hilaria is on this season.

We already knew that.

Iladia, yes.

And did you see pictures of Ilaria and Alec at the U.S.

Open?

Sitting behind Ana Wintour.

Sitting behind Anna Wintor.

Like, it's insane that they get those seats.

Like,

because his star has fallen so much through so many things and she's like fucking crazy.

And I just know.

And Alec is looking so miz.

It's giving Bradley Cooper at Wimbledon, but like the low-budget version.

Yeah, no, that was crazy.

They were seated behind her.

On Real Houses in Miami, Martina was talking about a time she wore like tennis shoes in the royal box at Wimbledon.

She was sitting behind Kate Middleton and Megan Markle in the royal box.

They like put up a photo.

Oh, like that one time they went to the Wimbledon.

Yeah, Martina's right behind them.

As she should be, like, she's a Wimbledon champion, but it's like,

let's see.

She wore Wimbledon?

Yeah, she's like the greatest tennis player, female, one of the greatest of all time.

I've been watching a lot of tennis, and actually, Martina's name comes up a lot when the commentators are just talking about like women's tennis history.

it's insane how like legit she is no no no she actually like if I had to think of like five women's famous women tennis players oh my god and Julia's there too

this is so by the way all roads lead to Bravo it's really crazy yeah I thought that was a crazy picture

it's the craziest picture I've ever seen I didn't realize Julia was there That's even crazier.

So they went twice to Wimbledon.

It's the one where Kate is wearing the green dress.

Yeah.

This is insane.

This is the craziest piece of information you could have dropped in my lap.

I watched more Real House Eyes of Miami last night.

They're in Seville.

The girls are fighting.

And by the way,

I have something to say.

So I know I was like waiting to see how I felt about Larsa and Lisa.

They're both Lisa.

I love her.

I love Larsa, Lisa.

I love them both.

Those my girls.

I've made my decision.

I think you're going to be Team Larsa.

I'm Team Larsa.

Yeah, the five that I was getting from the first like five episodes that we watched is like Lisa's fucking crazy.

She's like, she's gone off the deep end.

She's in in this nutty relationship like i don't think like i i could trust her judgment larsa is like you can say what you want about larsa but she's always herself yeah no and like lisa's just like very much like in her own way it's just a cacophony of like chaos and it's all about her and like she doesn't like give back to her friends because like she has so much going on and it's just like a annoying yeah and larsa even on kardashians when she was fighting with that other friend of theirs yeah yeah yeah

that girl's trip that girl's trip even though like sarah won out because she's still friends with the girls and larsa's not She's just friends with Courtney, but yeah, she's still in the mix.

But like Larsa just is a rational person.

She's like a good thinker.

She's a good fighter.

She's not like off the deep end.

Crazy.

And I just, I like people like that.

Like just a stable, good head on her shoulders.

Yeah.

So I'm Team Larsa.

I've made it my decision.

Okay.

I could have guessed.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

A little more TV casting news because SNL introduced five new cast members in the wake of their season 51 exodus.

So big shows.

We didn't talk about it, right?

Like so many people were fired.

They're fired?

So they let them announce like in a way that's ambiguous, but some people made it clear.

Like, yeah, like I got called into the office or I was on vacation and like I found out.

Okay, so who's going?

Oh, people.

I know their faces.

I don't know their names.

Oh, okay.

Michael Longfellow.

Longfellow?

Deeves?

Yeah, that's that's why that's why

Longfellow Deeves.

I'm sure I'm not.

I think he got

I'll do it.

Oh, Heidi Gardner's leaving.

That was like a big one.

Yeah, I see Michael Longfellow.

Michael Longfellow, Devin Walker.

So, like, you know their faces, but you don't know their names, which is probably why they were let go.

Like, if you haven't made an impact, you get, I feel like year one is always hard.

Year two, you can break out.

Yeah.

If you're not really making waves by year three, like it is your time to go.

And there are multiple ways to make waves, by the way.

Some people get cast to do skits and they end up, you know, writing a lot.

Like, there are different ways, but um, I don't think the show will be negatively impacted by the loss of these people, except Heidi, but Heidi was a big one.

Yeah, she was.

And so, there's five new comedians who are joining.

One of them is from that sketch comedy, um, Please Don't Touch.

You know, they please don't destroy.

They were making videos for us, and now they're not making them anymore.

And then, I guess one of them got a gig.

Oh, really?

Yeah, those are voice as like a full-time cast member.

Yeah, um,

Cole Hane is please don't touch Jeremy Colehane.

I believe he's also a Nepo baby, Nepo baby.

No, sorry, Marshall.

I don't know, they all look okay.

So, the Nepo baby got lost, yeah.

SNL adds five new cast members and loses a Nepo baby.

So, Ben Marshall, who's one of the three members of Please Don't Destroy, he was promoted to a feature player along with a bunch of other comedians.

Um, but John Higgins, who is the Nepo baby, his dad is the is Ben Higgins?

Yes, from The Bachelor.

No.

His dad is the guy on Jimmy Fallon, who wears the glasses, who's like the MC.

Got it.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Steve Higgins is his name.

He's leaving the show.

And then the third member, Martin, will stay on as a writer.

But the group is effectively breaking up and will not produce their signature behind-the-scenes sketches for SNL anymore.

That's a shame because those sketches were good.

They were one of the better parts of the show.

Agreed.

So I feel like they should have done more of it, bring them all on but agreed and I think when people criticize SNL for not being like really relevant anymore and not engaging in like internet culture they say besides for please don't destroy and bow and yang like those are like the two things that like snl got right and

with this new wave everyone's very excited about the girl Veronica

because she's like big internet she has like a big like following so that's they're getting a lot of credit for like finally leaning in, like casting people.

Cause yes, you know, comedy is old school and traditional, but like like comedy largely exists on the internet now.

And that's how so many people get discovered.

And I'm honestly, like, I didn't know this, Veronica Girl, but everybody seems really excited.

Yeah.

And so I'm excited for the SNL viewers.

Yes, that is not us, but they exist, I hear.

So I hope you are, you know, catered, making your target demo happy with this.

Love.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

A little legal news because Cardi B was found not liable in a $24 million assault lawsuit.

So an LA jury has cleared Cardi B of assault accusations from a security guard that originally sued her for $24 million over the alleged attack.

I'm sure everyone saw the photos and videos and outfits and she's been making lots of news being really funny.

Being really funny and being very honest on the stand.

After the verdict was announced, Cardi spoke to the press outside of the courthouse and said it's been really tough to deal with the case in the middle of her album rollout, adding that she missed her daughter, her kids' first day of school on Tuesday.

She said, quote, the next person to try to do a frivolous lawsuit against me, I'm going to counter sue and I'm going to make you pay because this is not okay.

She added, people have this misinterpretation of celebrities, like, oh, well, we can ask for this and they're going to settle.

Don't you ever think that you're going to sue me and I'm just going to settle and just give you my money.

It's not going to happen.

I love she's right, by the way.

A lot, like, we're a notoriously litigious nation.

And when it comes to like wealthy people, companies, celebrities, people just like file frivolous lawsuits because it's cheaper for them to settle, give you a 50 grand, then spend all this money on lawsuits.

And I'd like to show up to a trial and testify.

Absolutely not.

Avery Biden, it's like Gwyneth.

Yeah.

I think she should counter sue this person, though.

Like, no, don't wait till the next one.

Do it now.

Agreed.

I

love this.

I think that's a great precedent.

I think she should do.

I don't think she should wait another minute.

Meaning.

More of this.

Agreed.

Everybody's so afraid.

Like, I'll just settle.

No.

No, but it's also like she had, she had to take time out of her day, go to the courthouse, testify.

It's very like serious business.

Miss first day of school.

So it's like, okay, maybe you settle also for out of school.

But of course it makes your life easier.

No.

I love that.

Counter sue.

Yeah.

And if you sue someone,

you lose, you have to pay their legal bills.

That's what I've learned.

Like, that's what I was taught.

It's true.

So this person's paying Cardi's legal bills?

I guess.

It might be like state by state.

It's not like a federal law.

I think that's one of our better laws.

I totally agree.

Yeah.

Like the founding fathers ate with that.

They slayed.

Like, who thought of that?

Because it's true.

Like, because then you could just, I guess, it stops people from really being frivolous.

If I could just go around suing whoever I want, and there's like a 50-50 chance someone on a jury is going to agree with me.

Like, yeah, I'll be filing shit left, right, and center.

Yeah.

So it is.

It stops people from being like insanely frivolous.

Although people like crazy crazy.

They still take that risk, but it's just, it's not a zero risk game.

Yeah.

So shout out

to John Hancock without the Supreme Court.

Yeah.

You did.

You put your whole sacrifice into that.

Yes, you did.

Are you ready for our next story?

Are you ready, kids?

What time is it?

I mean, what time is it?

I'm cracking up.

What story is it?

Number four.

I feel like you're ready and then you.

I'm ready.

I'm ready.

Kim Kardashian is sparking a debate.

Yeah, I like that.

I'll be ready and then I won't be be ready.

Inside baseball.

Right.

If you know, you know.

Kim Kardashian.

Kim Kardashian's doing what that is.

She's sparking a debate over her controversial parenting take.

So this story is multi-pronged because Kim did a live stream with Kai Sanat

on Mafia-thon 3 over the weekend.

I guess she's which you're obviously like a huge fan of.

I actually know Kai because of Prime and the Paul Public.

Of course, because I watched the Paul of Paul America.

I know Kai.

Do you know Kai?

I do.

I don't know Mafia Thon 3, but I think she did like a Twitch stream.

She's trying to reach the Twitchers.

And she shared a thought about parenting that's sparking some debate.

I'm curious to get your thoughts.

Okay, but before we get into it, that's so funny.

I did not think that she was trying to get into streamers.

I feel like she did this because she's a good mom because Saint is obviously like obsessed with these streamers and he like loves roblox and i'm sure he like wanted to be on the stream but she was never gonna let him go by herself because like seriously seeing her there she like threw a table like it was humiliating like it's something you would only do for your child who you love like literally liz woods posted like oh

kim did mafia 3000 or whatever and i literally responded to liz i'm like she's a good mom like seriously this is her being a good mom because image wise like she looked so stupid like

that's really sweet i do think yes and that because her kids are so into it, she sees like how big it is.

I don't know how big streaming is.

I would never, if someone said, hey, do you want to come on Mafia Thon 3?

I would say, no, I don't know what that is, and I don't know what it could do for me.

But I think that like she sees the opportunity too.

And like, this is where the kids are.

This is where, this is the future.

I'm going to go.

Yeah.

Step into the future.

I'm going to debase myself.

Anyways, she said on the stream.

what did she say on the stream she said you guys aren't gonna believe it

i think i saw this clip but i'm like forgetting she said she doesn't believe in homework she said i'm gonna tell you that's so crazy she said i'm gonna tell you why she said kids are in school for eight hours a day

When they come home, they need to also they do sports have a life spend time with their family.

I think that homework should be left for in school, she said.

Okay, I actually agree with Kim.

Um,

like when I think about the fact, Jackie and I, we went to a dual curriculum high school, so like we were in school from eight to 4:45.

That's literally the entire day.

And then to go home and be expected to do like any extracurriculars, that doesn't include like 4:45 is just the end of the class, like classes.

That doesn't include if you wanted to play a sport, play an instrument, like pick up a hobby, then I don't know, eat, spend time with your family, sleep, watch maybe 30 seconds of television, and then do homework.

Like, I've always

felt like it was so stupid, but also, like, how,

but also, like, like, I fucking hated school and like, I didn't, I didn't pay attention ever.

So, like, I also need to learn, you know?

Right.

And I wonder how valuable, because practically to me, it does sound valuable to like learn things in school and then go home and see if you can do them on your own.

And if you can't, then going back the next day and figuring it out.

Like, it does seem like a useful practice in order for the practical application of school policy.

A policy, correct.

So,

I think that like in terms of learning, and you know what?

Like as a nation, like we're kind of slipping.

Yeah, we're not crushing it.

So like maybe let's switch it up.

No, I actually think, I don't think more homework.

I think I'm against too much homework.

And I also don't have strong opinions about this yet because I'm not there yet.

Yeah.

So I don't like really see, and I don't remember what it was like to like be in third grade and if that really was enriching for me to come home and do my homework.

But I don't know if this is the time to loosen the reins on the children's education.

Oh,

the children are slipping.

Okay, so I feel like the opposite.

The children are slipping.

So, like, what we're doing isn't working.

And I think, like, maybe if the children were like better balanced, like, they had time to run around outside, get fresh air, get off of their phones, like

maybe they wouldn't feel like they want to kill themselves at school.

Like, yeah, I just did this last night, and now back in the morning, I have to do it again.

Like, it's low-key crazy.

Why aren't kids reading?

Why don't they know how to read like they used to know?

Okay, so like I can speak to somebody who like literally hated despised

the reading the age for learning knowing how to read has increased pushback over the years yes

i don't know like a hundred years ago kids were reading earlier than they are now like i i don't know i don't have opinions why is but why i don't know

something's wrong in the curriculum so let's switch it up let's just try something new i actually agree with kim like I would rather my kids be like or try something old.

More well-balanced, doing lots of sports playing instruments hanging out with their friends being social and going to school as opposed to just like school all the time like sorry some of the smartest kids I knew in school are like low-key failures now it means nothing sorry yeah I'm not anti-all homework but I definitely think there should be balance and there are a lot of ways to learn and it's not just through

a workbook Yeah, agreed.

And I remember like the classes and the teachers who were like really nuts about homework.

And then you always had ones that were more relaxed because I think like as teachers, like they all have different philosophies as to like how effective homework is and maybe it's just because they gave me less work but I remember those classes and what I learned in the less homework ones more fondly and I feel like maybe what they taught me stuck more because they like respected my fucking time yeah and I also feel like there's like fun homework you know like practicing your letters love

love that I guess learning cursive they don't learn that anymore by the way they don't know

I I am okay with that I want to say I just feel like it's a sign of of the times.

My only concern is that when the kids aren't learning cursive anymore and one of the kids who hasn't learned cursive becomes famous and somebody asks for an autograph, they're just writing their name in print.

Like,

because that's the only application of cursive in my current life.

And when I sign a bill.

I think cursive is nice.

Or a contract, you know, because I'm constantly signing mega million dollar contracts with my seven attorneys.

Classic turtle.

Classic.

Are you ready for our fifth fifth and final story?

I don't think you're ready.

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And then like you get these recipe cards and you can just save them and I put them in my recipe binder and then I can make them myself.

Oh, that's cute.

Like little hack.

Yeah.

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Our fifth and final story is a little lurd this news.

Lerd this, yes.

First of all, Roger Goodell is making headlines talking about a Taylor Swift Super Bowl halftime show.

Potential.

The potential for the show.

So yeah, and shout out to, was it Savannah or Jed

for being really like investigative, like she was not letting him get away with his like bullshit answer.

She kept asking follow-up questions.

That was good investigative journalism.

Yeah, so he wouldn't say much, but he certainly did not rule out the possibility of Taylor performing at the halftime show this year.

So he said, we would always love to have Taylor play.

She's a special, special talent, and obviously she would be welcome at any time.

Savannah said, is it in the works?

He said, I can't tell you anything.

She said, is it a maybe?

He said, it's a maybe.

I feel like he pretty much confirmed it, just giving like body language.

I'm no BLE, obviously body language expert, but I just got the vibe that he was like telling us.

And I feel like Taylor is like pissed that he was not more subtle.

Yeah, I feel like he should have been more subtle, but also a maybe is a maybe.

Also, if she's not playing, this is a good cover.

I think he did okay, and I think that he will endear himself to the Taylor fans by the way that he spoke about her.

Like everyone says nice things, but I don't know.

The way that, like, when he said special, special talent, like, that came from the heart.

Sorry.

I know people don't like him, but I thought that was really heartfelt.

Do you think he's a swifty?

Yeah, or like he just, I don't know if he listens to the music, but like he just really respects her.

I was getting, it was giving respect.

Anyone else feel that?

Maybe they're courting her, so he wanted to to be like really genuine.

No, but everyone says nice things about her.

What, you know, what crazy person who's in charge of a business is going to make an enemy of the Swifties?

I just felt like the way that he spoke about her was with a lot of care and love.

That's all I'm saying.

Oh, so you think he's in love with her?

I think he really admires her.

I do.

I mean, I love that.

I feel like at this point, it's so crazy that Taylor has not performed the halftime show.

And then he said

he's waiting on the hype.

He said he's waiting on Jay-Z.

He said, it's in his hands.

I'm waiting for the smoke to come out.

So I just want to say that.

They have a good relationship, Taylor, Beyonce, and Jay-Z.

So it's not like there's beef.

Like, I can't imagine why she wouldn't.

It's weird that she hasn't, but I feel like people always like, are like, is Taylor going to do it?

Is Taylor going to do it?

It's more this year than ever because of obviously like her engagement.

And Easter eggs.

Easter eggs.

But I feel bad if it's not her for whoever it is because it's going to be like a major disappointment.

Although for the last few years, Miley's name has been thrown around quite a bit.

And I think she would be spectacular.

I would not be upset if it was her, and I do think her time is coming.

I would love that.

I also think it's good that Roger kicks it to Jay-Z, because now if it's not Taylor, we can all blame Jay-Z.

And I love when we have someone to blame.

Yeah, and I feel like

he won't care if we blame him.

It'll be like, we'll feel righteous in our anger.

1,000%.

But I hope at the end of the day that she is performing and that this

usually they announce soonish.

Uh-oh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

uh-oh are you okay

i'm fine

she says as she keels over i'm fine well i'll dive into deer toasters while you come to yourself with that i'm fine anyways i'll also say let's make a bet is taylor performing super bowl

The evidence is extremely compelling, but every time I get myself like invested in a Taylor theory, like the evidence is always compelling because she's a crazy person and I get like clowned on, but I do.

I do.

I do.

Especially because like I think they have this plan for like him to win the Super Bowl and retire.

And if like she's doing her bit, like I think that they're both extremely

ambitious people.

Like I do.

I do.

I do.

I do.

I do.

I do.

I do.

I do as well.

Okay.

That's our bet.

That's our take.

Let's dive into Deer Toasters, our weekly advice segment that is immensely popular.

So every Tuesday, this week, Wednesday, Jackie and I take submissions from the swirlies who are in need.

You guys can write to us about anything in the world, marriage stuff, baby stuff, work stuff, whatever it is.

We're going to do our absolute best to help you.

You can submit by either emailing us, dear toasters at gmail.com, or head on over to our website, thetoastpodcast.com.

Scroll down, there's a little submission box.

All submissions are entirely anonymous.

We will never blow up your spot.

Let's dive in.

Dear Toasters, I am 30 and my first friend in our friend group is pregnant.

My friend group has always been super close since college.

We've historically gone out, lived it up in our 20s, but we've all really, for the most part, calmed down.

We still get together every other week week and my mom to be friend is always drinking with us.

We thought it was weird at first, but she said her doctor says it's fine as long as she doesn't get drunk.

The other girls and I have seen and started suggesting non-drinking activities, but she's still drinking every month with us.

It's also like, is she doing that at home?

She's six months pregnant and I'm at the point where I feel like I need to say something, but I'm not a mom or a doctor.

What would you do?

Please help.

Love you so much.

I just want to say, I too am not a doctor, but I'm 100% sure the doctor will never tell tell you you can drink, but as long as you don't get drunk, it doesn't count.

Like, that's not a thing that doctors tell pregnant women.

Just saying.

Yeah, but what is their official policy on having a drink?

Because, you know, people say you can have a drink during pregnancy.

In the third trimester, that's not what she's doing, by the way.

She's not having a drink.

She's having...

No, she's getting drunk, but also they say that in the third trimester.

She's only six months.

And like, with what frequency do they say at the doctor's?

I believe you can have a glass of wine a week.

I actually went to the doctor today.

Should I ask?

Yeah, ask Dr.

Fox.

i drink but i don't get drunk so you should ask dr fox like what's the

send it to dr fox

you have you can also just ask chat gpt they say in the third trimester you can have a glass of wine you certainly cannot drink like vodka or tequila what does he say what she's drinking no she's getting drunk and no she's not doing what they what Emily Oster says you could do.

Right.

And regardless, she's drinking more than, you know, oh, go have a glass of wine here or there if you need to relax one night.

It's not good for the baby.

And by the way, Jackie, the girl is now six months pregnant, and for the last couple of months, she's been doing this.

So, like, really bad.

It's really uncomfortable.

Um,

I think your course of action here is to call the girl's mom or call the girl's husband.

Like, nothing, this girl's, your friend's an alcoholic.

Hi, like, if you can't stop drinking when you're pregnant, you're an alcoholic.

And so, anything you say to her, she's gonna, like, you know, rebut or come up with a lie, but like, you've seen firsthand that she's damaging not only herself, but the life of her baby.

And that involves people, not her as well, right?

it involves the father it involves her potential grandparents so yeah call her mom okay i like that i really don't have advice because it's i don't think confronting her is going to do anything no she knows what she's doing right um it's such a conundrum it's that's really like sad and unfortunate

but maybe someone can restrain her from drinking for the next few months like seriously lock her up that's insane yeah that's insane it's fetal alcohol syndrome is extremely real and

yeah i i i can't imagine how i feel in this situation but like i feel like i wouldn't want to invite this person to these events one it's a buzzkill to have this tragic situation happen you can't help but also feel like responsible no no but not even because like oh we don't want her to drink she could stay home and drink but like i don't want to be around someone who's doing something so terrible that's not a fun night with the girls for me No, not at all.

Call her mom.

Yeah.

Call the father.

Yeah, that's a good place to start.

And stop inviting her.

Like, well, yes.

I think.

Yeah.

Okay, this next one, like, genuinely made me chuckle, ready?

Hey, Jackson Claire, I need some serious help.

I just found out that my boyfriend got fired from his job over a month ago, and he's been keeping it a secret.

The worst part is that he's been commuting to the city during work hours and sitting at a McDonald's near his old office in order to keep up his lie.

And he's just been like applying for jobs.

We've been together for a year and he has a habit of lying.

Do I give him a break or do I cause hell over this lie?

Yeah, that's bad.

Yeah, the thing is, is like, I maybe could get past him not sharing that he got fired because like it's embarrassing, but you sharing that he has a habit of lying.

Like, it's always, it's not the crime, it's the cover-up.

Like, the fact that you're comfortable, like, living a true double life, like, you could, this is the type of guy who has a second family.

Right, of course.

Eventually, like, you could do this with anything, but also it's like, if you lost your job, it's not a big deal.

Like, you can find another one.

But the fact that you're wasting your entire day at McDonald's applying for jobs, like, apply for jobs at home and do the dishes like you're an unemployed now make yourself useful running out of the house every day like and if you're applying for jobs like i'm assuming like you work in corporate because you're traveling to the city for whatever like get a job as a waiter like we have a house to support like you just like floundering doing nothing agreed it's you can't apply all day to jobs like there are only so many job listings It would be better if he like didn't tell you got fired.

He started working from home and it turns out he's been applying, but like he's home.

Instead, he's running away every day when like there are things you could be doing in the house, ways that you could be helping me.

Yeah, the

dramatics of going into the city, commuting and faking like with your location, like this guy's just like a sneaky person, you know?

Yeah.

Like capable of great sneakiness.

Yeah, it's a major red flag for me.

I'm in agreement.

And the fact that you already know that he's like a liar,

people who just like are really comfortable lying and then you just find out that they're a liar and you stop believing everything that they say, like those people are really fucking crazy.

And like a year, that's the time to call it.

I'm actually in agreement.

I hate to press the break up with your boyfriend button, but like I'm inclined to.

You're not engaged.

You're not married.

You're not pregnant.

Like get up.

And you didn't even give us the usual like, he's a PJOM.

Otherwise, he's a man.

Right.

Break up with your boyfriend.

He's gay.

And unemployed.

And unemployed.

Our third and final deer toasters.

Hey, Swirlies.

I'm in a friend group made up of four married couples.

We all have kids.

Two of the couples have decided to engage in a polyamorous polyamorous relationship with each other.

Husband A is dating wife B.

Husband A is dating husband, wife A is dating husband B.

You get it.

I do not approve of this arrangement, but we have a group trip coming up with all four couples and our kids.

What should we do?

We've already spent $2,000, but I'm afraid if we don't go, it'll end the friendship.

I'm also questioning if I want to continue this friendship long-term after the trip and how to handle it.

If you think I should leave the friendship, please give tips on how to phase out.

I think you're looking at this all wrong.

Like, oh, wow, okay.

This is so entertaining.

Like,

how hysterical.

Like, and you know, you go on a trip, you want there to be some drama.

Could there be anything more interesting than this?

Like, and you like these people, you don't want to stop being friends with them.

Like, you don't have to.

Get all to see.

It's also kind of how the secret lives of Mormon wives began.

And it's very possible that this becomes a huge drama.

They get a reality show, everyone gets famous.

And then you're like the moron who backed out before things got exciting.

So if you want to be famous, I would stick around.

But it's like if you like them and you have fun with them and they don't do this stuff like in front of kids or it's just like during the adult time like how interesting i would grab a

vat of popcorn and sit down and watch it all play the next morning who was with who like oh my gosh entertainment yeah we can't tell you whether or not to end the friendship like if this is really something you're not comfortable with like sure end it said she doesn't want like she said she doesn't want to not go on the trip because that would might end the friendship she doesn't want to end the friendship she's worried about this trip but like i'm sorry i want to watch things play out on this trip maybe you're worried about what might happen.

If you might have an upside-down pineapple in your shopping cart soon.

Correct.

And the next thing you know, you're on like a swinger's cruise.

Yeah.

Oh, I guess if you're worried that like it could be a slippery slope for you, like I would understand just being like, I want to

see it for me.

But otherwise, like this sounds like your own personal soap opera.

Like I'm obsessed.

The crazy thing is like, I didn't know things like this like actually happened.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

It's stuff you like hear about from movies or books, but like no one's actually doing that.

Yeah, no, but just like how many toasters out there are swingers are or are friends with swingers or are finding themselves in this predicament?

And the upside-down pineapple,

I feel like it was like a subliminal secret message, but now like everybody knows about it.

Like

you would be ashamed to put an upside-down pineapple because then your secret's out.

Yeah, maybe they're going to something different.

We don't know.

1,000%.

If we go to like Reddit.com slash swingers, you can find out what like the new upside-down pineapple is.

Yeah.

i don't like a card a cartilage piercing or something you know no or like you know two cantaloupes on different sides of the cart two cantaloupes by your breasts you know like or a watermelon underneath the cart yeah yeah yeah yeah i feel like i know

something something that's in like every grocery store like a box of ritz crackers no but i feel like it has it should be produces it has to be fruit yeah

like an eggplant

an eggplant sticking out of the bottom of your i think a watermelon on the i'm giving them great ideas i am like too nervous to ever swing like if i walked into my local grocery store the kosher grocer with an upside-down pineapple and nobody like took a bite

I would be crushed.

Like me and Ben, like we walk around, we're looking our best.

We get all dressed up to go to the grocery store.

Okay.

We flip our pineapple and no one gives us the time of day.

Like seriously, I'm devastated.

No, but also, like, say you do it and you flip your pineapple and some there's outreach what does the outreach look like like does someone come up to you do they give you a phone number do they follow you to your car

so the new thing well we don't we live in the city so like no one's like being followed to their cars um the new thing where you can like tap someone's phone and like shares contact the pineapple thing is a very suburban thing

thousands because in a city like oh you want to swing just like go down the street it's no chair like just open your front door

i would love to know like if there's anyone in my life who swings.

Like, I'm sure that there is.

People just like do that.

Whatever goes on in people's private lives, like

pop off.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's very interesting.

Anyways, I think this is so exciting for you.

For the whole family.

Enjoy.

Enjoy.

Enjoy.

That was here, Toasters.

Please submit.

We would love to hear from you.

And of course, if you've written us recently and we've read your prompt on air and you want to update us with what went on, did it go sour?

Did you follow our advice?

Did you not follow our advice?

Please write us an email.

We would love to hear from you.

And that's our show.

Time for lunch.

Time for lunch.

So much pressure.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast on London Morning Show, where you deliver the fastest stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a video a thumbs up.

We're also available as a podcast and we're podcasting me found.

So it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, IRA, Cast Box, all the places web you listen to podcasts, find us at Toastley, five star view about that beautiful, about stunning, and about how wickedly talented we are.

Love ya.

bye.