I Love Your Opalite, Sky: Monday, October 6th, 2025

Good morning, girlies.

It's the tolls.

It's Jackson Claude and we're your hosts.

It's your favorite show, the fast five things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly.

It's the toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Monday.

Hope everybody had a splendid weekend.

Mine was was splendid.

Yeah, I went to TJ Maxx.

Hey, Jax, how you dern?

Dern good.

Mine was splendid as well.

I made a chili.

So that's always going to be a recipe for success.

I was actually promised a chili and one never arrived.

Ben on Sunday was like, should we make a chili?

And I...

I knew something was up, you know, because why would he be so generous?

Ben, like, low-key, like, doesn't like making chili.

I'm always like, oh, we should make a chili.

And he's like, fine.

He has to film

you.

He has to film an ad.

Oh, what brand is sponsoring his chili?

I don't want to spoil it because

it's...

I don't want to spoil it.

Okay, well, that's really exciting.

But he didn't do his chili for his wife nor his brand work.

Is that what you're saying?

No, he's delayed.

Content is delayed.

We had the busiest weekend.

I'm sure you did.

It's a busy time.

Yeah, I am going to L.A.

You are going to LA.

And he didn't even make you a chili, even though he's trying to court you to go to LA, and a chili would definitely help move the needle.

I ran out of reasons to say no, and now I actually believe it's a good idea.

Like we should definitely go.

How fun is that?

Like I was being a hater, but first of all, the lack of air conditioning in my studio is not going to work for me.

Judo, it's 80 degrees.

It was 80 degrees yesterday, 80 degrees.

It's October.

It's been 80 degrees for three days in a row.

I've had enough.

I'm leaving.

When do you leave for LA?

Flights are booked.

We'll literally be leaving this week in a few, merely a few days.

Okay, great.

We also need to like then sync because then you're on LA time.

Yes.

So LA Swirly's episode will be coming out on our time.

Sorry.

Like I'm not waking up at 5 a.m.

to podcast.

Like

we will probably will be like a noon, one o'clock show for the East Coast Swirlies.

Isn't that what we are now?

We'll be a one, two o'clock show for the East Coast Coast Swirlies.

I mean, we can record it like nine, my time.

Well, no, we had that, we have to, we have to.

Discuss.

We'll figure it out.

We'll coordinate.

Don't we?

Yeah.

I like haven't even told you.

I had to find a place to live.

I had to get like a stroller.

So many things.

I had to call Brian Kelly 1,000 times asking, I've never taken Ruby on a plane.

So, you know, and I literally in the middle of my text messages with him, I said, I feel so privileged to have like direct access to you.

I would be Googling all these things and Brian knows everything.

And Brian has two kids.

So, yeah, we figured it out.

We're going to be okay.

We are going to be okay.

He's at such a great age to travel.

It's really like he's kind of just attached to you.

Yeah, we like, yeah, it's, it is what it is.

Listen.

We're doing it.

Can't turn back now.

I'm very excited for you.

Same.

And then by the time I get back, my new place will get done everything that needs to get done.

There's like no furniture.

So much work needs to be done.

So you know what?

It's good.

It's good.

Turdy takes LA.

I love LA.

Turdy Wood.

I love it.

I'm going to be like my co-my co-host is LA.

I feel like Ben and Josh.

Benny and Joshi.

Joshi and Benny.

The Knicks are so bad.

And this is not good.

Yeah, except Joshi and Benny.

Are to be like Jackson Claude?

That's disgusting.

That's disgusting.

So I had like a crazy weekend of just like getting all that planned, like buying packing cubes.

I now own packing cubes.

I don't want to talk about that.

That's like something that kids, like when you have kids, you have packing cubes.

I have so many packing cubes.

And I stand by that, like, they're not that like a kid.

They're kind of nice.

They're kind of nice because you don't have like a, because their clothes are so little that you don't want a huge suitcase with all these little folded individual things.

You take out the sack, you put it on the bed, and it's like you're staying for a long time.

So obviously you'll unpack, but like you could kind of keep things in their cubes if it was a shorter trip.

They do serve a purpose and they make you feel really organized, especially when the clothes are so little.

Yeah, I see people on TikTok like always getting their packing cubes, like pack with me for whatever.

And it's a grown-ass people fitting like two pairs of shoes in a cube.

Two shirts.

I don't, I'm, and I'm an extremely organized person.

I live for organization.

That's like porn to me.

I love cleaning.

I love like everything having a place.

I don't think packing cubes, I think it's a little bit like internet shtick.

Not maybe for adults, but I stand by the fact that for kids, you kind of need them for all the little items.

There are just so many little items.

You can't have them like loosey-goosey in a big suitcase.

Yeah, no, I get it.

I just like am annoyed that that's like the stage of life that I'm currently in.

Yeah, but then there's some cute packing cubes.

I do like one color for

one color for Charlie, you know.

Yeah, some of us don't have time.

Don't have time to color code.

Like we had to get the ones that Amazon could deliver today between 6 p.m.

and 11 p.m., you know?

Yeah,

I understand.

So that's what's going to, and also, I'm vlogging today.

I have a kind of a busy day being like a businesswoman, a mother, and like a celebrity.

So I thought it would be a good time to day in the life vlog.

People always ask for that.

So

here you go.

She chose the busiest day, as one should.

Oh, my God.

And I left my LaCroix on my desk, which is like 10 feet away.

Like, seriously, kill me.

Did I?

Oh, my LaCroix over there.

Didn't you just get up?

I did because I left a light on, so I didn't didn't want to like affect the lighting.

I'm like, so all over the place today.

Yeah, I mean, that's honestly, that's kind of giving like LA Creator.

No, it's giving like hair brain mother.

You know?

LA creator hair brain.

But like, I feel like LA influencers are always like, oh my God, like they're just hair-brained as well.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, man.

I'm so LA.

You are.

I'm excited to see how it changes you.

Yeah, like, like I said, I will be forgetting the little people.

So if you want me to remember you, like, do something nice for me today, you know?

Yeah, or every day.

Make a donation to the Mark Schoenrutter Holocaust Education Foundation.

I'll remember that.

That's really beautiful.

Um,

so many things.

We're going to be talking way more about Taylor's album today because I listened to it all weekend long.

Um, I have so many thoughts.

Like, I don't even know what I said on Friday.

Like, delete everything I said.

I don't even remember what I said.

I don't even know if I still stand by it.

I have new thoughts, new theories, new meaning.

I have thoughts as well, in my own personal opinions, and in the context of the conversation that's happening.

There is a conversation that is happening.

Yeah, so I have a lot of thoughts.

Bobby, a fan of figure.

I've like, there are a bunch of really catchy hooks.

Yeah, they are.

Like, and that's Elizabeth Taylor.

Elizabeth Taylor.

Elizabeth Tay.

And that's.

Yeah, there are.

We'll get into it.

That will be our first story recapping Taylor, everything that's come out since, the news, the drama, the beef, the videos.

The end of the episode.

let's also do a little bit of a TV recap.

We both started the new season of Love is Blind.

I'm only on episode three.

Like, I just saw Edmund,

like, the reveal.

And so that's what I'm up to.

So don't spoil anything.

I know you're further along than me.

Yeah, we'll talk about it.

And then you might have to take your headphones off because I'm on episode six.

But I want to say.

I'm so behind.

Yeah.

I want to say in general.

As a general statement, like this season is a travesty.

I felt that way during episode three.

Like some of the worst television I've ever watched.

If my husband wasn't so obsessed with this show, like, he comes in and turns it on.

I'm like, okay,

he's the pusher.

He's such a pusher.

He loves the show.

I would not be watching.

It reminds me of that Minneapolis season that was positively dreadful.

Remind me.

Give me one person who was on that season.

Joey and Monica?

Ben Platt.

Yeah, yeah, Joey.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, Joey and Monica.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't finish that season.

This feels like that.

Also, they're like committed to giving us way more pod time.

I think to like establish a couple things one that um you know so let's save it let's save it so we could see more of the couples like and so that they have like you know roots and we understand why they connected but also they're showing us more of everyone's overlapping connections just to say that that always happens do you know what i mean like it's that's but it makes it confusing it does make it confusing and

okay we'll save the rest for later but i will take my headphones off i am like well now i'm getting to the good part because i'm on the honeymoons but like the pods were a really

low.

I have three more pod episodes.

They, yeah.

Episode five is when like all of the reveals get done.

Not well, they get done along the way, but like you're done with reveals in episodes.

Got it.

It's rough out here.

The pod episodes are like a necessary evil, right?

Like you really do, in order like to have a good season, you need to understand the connections.

And then last season, I think they like understood that people don't love the pods.

So they gave us like half an episode of pods, half an episode of honeymoons, and the whole thing was them living in Minneapolis.

Like who gives a fuck?

No, but I feel like Minneapolis was a lot of pods.

I had to stop watching.

No, no, no.

The most recent season, we got no honeymoons and no pods.

Like, we saw so much Minneapolis in their sad apartments.

Like, I'm good.

The honeymoon is hands down the best.

Best.

I need a whole season of honeymoon.

When they started doing like the group meetup on the honeymoon.

Yep.

And

without fail, these people always get weird in that scene.

Yeah, yeah.

Without fail, like you would think that they would be like on their better behavior, not drink so much, not make comments about other people's looks that aren't their partner.

Without fail, they are so freaky.

And this, this current mixer that I just watched is actually one of the worst.

Because the experiment like truly makes people crazy.

First of all, you don't have your phone, you're not connected to the outside world, which already is like heightened weirdness.

Then you're with a bunch of freaks and you're having like heightened emotions because you're falling in love with people.

Then you're traveling to a new country, which is always exciting, but you're this like freaky, weird version of yourself.

and then like you get reunited with like your cellmates from the pod so it like reignites more weirdness it's it's definitely a social experiment no and like just everyone going forward you think people learn from reality tv they learn from

past like i'm not gonna say this i'm not gonna do that stop drinking at that honeymoon mixer

stop it

1000

like drink when you go home Okay, so we will dive into that in the TV recap and we will do stories.

Anything else you want to chat about before we dive in?

Any more pre-Fast Five banner that you want to bant?

Oh, any more banter to be banted?

No, I had a nice weekend.

I've just been like taking it easy, trying not to do like the most, but we've,

we had people over actually yesterday for the games.

That's why I made a chili.

People.

And I hosted and I cooked a chili.

That's a lot.

And you also made corn muffins.

I did make corn muffins to accompany my chili.

Parchy.

A fun fact about me.

I fucking love a corn muffin, but I don't like it in the way that other people do.

I know it's like really popular to have with chili.

You like it with jelly?

I love it with

Maman Raspberry Preserve.

Oh, speaking of raspberry preserve, are we talking about Megan Markle in Paris?

It did not make the cut.

Can we talk about it briefly?

Yeah, because it almost made the cut.

And then I was like, we're going to do a whole story about Blen Siaga because they switched their creative director, but they never actually took accountability for the weird shit that they did.

Like, it's not going to be a story.

Sorry.

No, of course.

And I wanted to talk about it just to sort of put on blast and like shame everybody who went.

Like Anne Hathaway, like you, like some people like need to be slumming it.

Like Jenna Ortega, like I get it.

Like you're, it's exciting for you to be invited to Balenciaga, but like Anne Hathaway with your leather gloves for herself.

She looked terrible.

Like the outfit was bad.

All these celebrities like flocking to Balenciaga is so illusory.

And I'm shocked Megan Markle went outside of the

child

scandal with Balenciaga.

Like Balenciaga is a brand.

It's like the in the high fashion world, it's not like really elite, right?

Like Megan Markle, a former royal, they're like streetwear, right?

I would say, I could see her at Chanel.

I could see see her at, like, honestly, that's it.

Like, literally, Chanel, or maybe Doljan.

Hairmaze.

Yeah, right, right, right.

But, like,

you're like slumming it at Balenciaga.

Like, I was shocked.

Like, that's, and when she went, she looks gorgeous, like, leaving that hotel with like her silk wraps, her chiffon.

Her look is so elegant.

I'm like, you're going to Balenciaga where everyone wears leggings.

Like, I was shocked.

Like, why?

She could get an invitation to any show.

Like, unless maybe some of them are like monarchists.

But, like, why?

You never leave your house.

You're going like a big thing.

You're looking at it.

It was a big deal that she like went to Fashion Week for the first time in like 10 years.

I thought maybe she is like so low of the totem pole, even besides their big scandal.

Maybe she has like a friendship with the new creative director.

But now in thinking about it, maybe they paid her a good amount to sort of like shift the perspective because she does like give off like royal energy and it's like you can't get Kate.

Like let's get Megan.

And she

does find a lot of elegance.

And if that's very elevated.

If that's the look going forward for Balenciaga, then she is a good face for it.

So like maybe it was a a big payday for her.

But fashion stuff, like they don't make money because nobody's been shopping.

Like as much as celebrities keep going to their shows, nobody is shopping Balenciaga.

The people, the streets, we remember.

So I don't even know how they would have a lot of money to give her.

I was so confused.

I loved the idea of her stepping out in Paris Fashion Week.

I think like for the level of celebrity that she's at, it's like a very like only top tier people.

New York Fashion Week is literally like influencer fest.

Like it's not chic.

It's not elegant anymore.

Milan Fashion Week and Paris Fashion Week are so top tier.

I loved it for for her.

I was like, I wonder what show she.

Balenciaga.

And her outfits are so not Balenciaga.

They're so much better.

Yeah.

Oh, shook.

Yeah.

Kylie was in Paris.

I don't think she went.

No, they went to Scaparelli.

Like, there are more.

There are more.

No, sorry.

Kim went to Balenciaga.

Oh, wait, no, did she?

Where was she wearing her pixie cut?

I don't know.

I don't think it was Balenciaga.

I thought she didn't go to Blenciaga.

No, because her boy left.

Which is even weirder that she didn't go this time, but like only goes for

weird ass Demna.

Yeah, ugly clothes.

That's even weirder.

Like now it's like, okay, since Demna's not there, like everyone can pretend like it didn't happen and like go support Balenciaga, even though I don't forget personally, but I can see why they would think that I might forget.

But to like now not go.

And I'm sure you didn't see this because you don't have TikTok.

And while I agree that like having TikTok is not the right move for you, it makes me sad that you didn't see the video of Ina Garden at the Hermes fashion show in Paris with her Kelly on her lap sitting.

She's sitting at the end in the front row.

She has her Kelly on her lap.

She's watching the clothes.

She looks so sweet.

It is Barnan, the cutest thing I've ever seen.

She's just wearing like her little black trousers and her black button down like classic Ina Fair.

She doesn't look crazy, but she has her Hermes bag on her lap.

She's looking so fucking cute.

It actually is like the cutest thing I've ever seen.

That's really cute because you've been hard on her.

I have.

She's literally pissing me off.

Oh, yeah, to close the circle, we did get a food processor.

But like not even about the food processor, even before that, like with her memoir and like the bits and bobs she was sharing.

Okay, by the way, one thing about me, I'm a fair person.

No, I love Aina.

The name of her memoir sucks.

She was wrong for what she did to Martha Stewart.

I'm holding space for three truths.

Yeah, she was all, there was also like other like titillating anecdotes that you sort of like shot down.

Yeah, about like her and Jeffrey.

Like the thing you went in on Jeffrey, but but but I did not go in on Jeffrey.

I did not.

You went in on Jeffrey.

I would not.

I didn't.

You stopped making.

Oh, you didn't even mention, like, make it any sort of commentary that I got a haircut.

You always have a fresh hair.

Yeah, I got a haircut just to trim.

Not a big deal, guys.

Stop freaking out.

You get your haircut every three weeks.

Stop freaking out about how different it looks.

Like, I know.

I just wanted to switch it up.

Stop freaking out.

Is this your new LA hair?

Yeah.

I love LA.

But for the record, like, you did go in on Jeffrey.

I lit.

Okay, you know what?

I did.

I went in on Jeffrey.

And you know what?

He needed it.

I feel like no one.

I don't know if he's going to be able to do it.

No, he thinks he's like a protected class.

Yeah.

Sorry.

And like, I, you know what?

I actually can't get into this discussion.

Without going in on him.

Yeah, actually, yeah.

I do.

Yeah.

You have to restrain yourself.

Yeah.

It's fine.

Okay, well, I think we should get into what we have to get into because we have a lot to discuss today.

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Mono

have been none the falling star.

No, it didn't be any good.

I ain't got a knock on wood.

Okay, so many thoughts.

Let's talk about the fact that, like, everyone's hating the album.

Like, everyone's hating the album.

And once again, like,

I'm not.

Now, I, I,

I agree with some of, like, the bigger thoughts being said about, like, some of the lyrics are weird.

1000%.

Like, digmatize me and open my thighs.

Like, no.

Taylor in this album, specifically would but just the album in general is very much giving that scene of joseph gordon levitt in 500 days of summer when he finally has sex and then he goes out and there's like a movie musical flash mob um

and his whole life is like bigger better and more amazing it's like was that's just like the whole vibe it's like she's finally having sex or like finally having good sex i don't know um

i can get past the lyrics i can

i agree that this is The only real failure of this album is like thematically, it's the first time Taylor, like, the,

it's like not all making sense.

Do you know what I mean?

That has set us up for something that one, like, didn't deliver in the sense of what it was supposed to be on two fronts.

One, about being a showgirl, and two, this was supposed to be 12 blank spaces.

And it's not.

Okay, so I don't necessarily agree with your second point, but yes, the first point, like thematically,

the name of the album, the words, the like the era of her life, like I'm not seeing how, you know, talking about this tragedy for your friend who you grew up with is a part of life of a showgirl behind the scenes of the Eros tour.

Like, I think a lot of it is just like songs put together, which is what an album is, but hers are always like so cohesive, so

thematic.

And I'm just like not understanding the life of a showgirl of it all, but I can get past that because every other artist does that and like nobody cares, but Taylor's just like often better than that.

Yeah.

And like she's being compared to herself where that's not something that she's done before is like put out this entire aesthetic and like mythology around something and then it not be that at all, especially one that's so exciting and so ripe for like parginess and creativity.

And then instead it's just like

not that.

So can we now do what we did

on Friday and go through all the songs?

Because now I feel like I have way more to say about each song.

Yeah, but what I want to say, I feel like I'm always, you know, the very honest in my thoughts about Taylor for better or for worse.

And I am the Swissie and I have been since day one.

And I feel like the way I'm enjoying this album,

I feel like the experience people are having with this album, like I already had with like TTPD of that like disappointment almost of like, this person doesn't have a lot new to say, doesn't have new ways of saying it.

And I felt like for TTPD, it was so many songs to get about three hits for me.

Three songs that I really liked.

Totally.

Three songs that I really liked.

Whereas this album is 12 songs and I still got three songs that I really liked.

So I'm like, this is more concise.

This is more fun.

I feel like for a while, I've been feeling like the lyrics are cringe.

There are cringe lyrics on TTBD.

Yes.

There are very like even, I know people were like joking about like the Charlie Pooh thing, but like that was a really bad lyric.

Line.

Like that was

like got, you know, had fun with it, but it was like, we smoked and ate seven bars of chocolate.

Are you going to tell me what time you went to the bathroom as well?

Like, I, it's so in the weeds.

And I feel like, so what people are saying about this album is how I felt about TTBD and even a couple songs off Midnights where it's like, we didn't need this song.

Sounds like some other songs.

Not much new is said.

Like, but there are also some incredible songs on that album that

really make the album, and the rest is sort of filler.

I felt like this album had the less of that filler verbal diarrhea, so I was able to enjoy it more.

Yes, so we do not align on TTPD because to me, TTPD is very much like a sister of folklore evermore, which is so my vibe.

And like, yes, it's very long-winded, and I happen to really like that.

Not, you know, for when I go on the treadmill every once in a while, but like for the most part, I love it.

Um,

yes, the cringe lyrics are something they're not new.

They're not new.

I think a lot of people have ignored her cringe lyrics.

Like even I Come Back Stronger Than a 90s trend.

Even

my ex-man bought his new girlfriend.

I was just listening to that song.

I'm like, and when that came out, people like felt like that was cringe, but it just aged as well because it's a catchy beat.

But the cringe lyrics are not new.

But I do think as she gets older,

one, they're getting like a little cringier, but also relative to her age.

Well, it's just like the thing is, it's just who she is.

I feel like we say this a lot.

Like Taylor herself is like like a self-proclaimed, like chuggie millennial.

So to hear it in like a cool pop song, it sounds off, but at least it's authentic to who she is.

And what I was going to say, oh, yes.

So the thing is, is that Taylor, what's different in Taylor's life?

Like, she's married.

I mean, excuse me, she's engaged.

This is clearly like a new, different type of relationship.

It's like her biggest yet.

She's never been engaged.

But at the end of the day, like what she writes about is love and being in love.

And when she's writing those songs, like about Joe Alwin, now they're not in love, but they were.

So her being in love is like not new and her writing a lot of these songs about you know people are saying so and she references the music industry which aka is like scott borschetta a lot of kim is definitely referencing one of the songs they want a fat fat ass and a baby face like we're beating horses dead

and

There's no newness in terms of content.

She's writing about love, which she's written about before, and like the same three scandals in her life.

And like, that's where I feel it's getting repetitive.

and I selfishly like I'm over it yeah but I actually feel like the songs that she wrote about love on this album and the new love she's experiencing you know like one that's like positive and happy and cute and not like depressing are the best songs like yeah so she actually has something new to say in her relationship with Travis so I don't even think it's like oh you get happy and you get boring like not at all no no um but I do think like the ages-old beef the the like I yeah I am a bit sick of those but I'm also sick of like hearing like these like minute details that are so niche to the point of like I'm not like gonna be walking around like singing about this like small thing.

So

so let's

Let's go song by song.

Okay, first the fate of Ophelia

Which is the lead single I believe it's also the song that she did a music video for that's now out, but it was in the movie that she made ever uh that she released in AMC.

Um, I watched a music video.

I absolutely loved it.

I thought it was so beautiful she looked insane i love the different vignettes like it was pargy and that song is really good it's a kind of what taylor does best like a pargy radio pop song that you can't get out of your head yeah i really like this song but now i and i'm getting like i'm getting so much like t-lo- us just commentary in general and another piece we have to talk about is like the song sounding like other songs which i like we'll get to that but i saw commentary about how like her description of ophelia is actually like not ophelia

in Hamlet like that she's just like waiting in this tower for like a love to be rescued like that's like really not like it's like Snow White actually yeah no it sounds like a Disney princess and like actually like Ophelia like her tragedies that she had no agency like she was like told what to do by her like brother and her dad and like and now it's like I feel like on other albums when she would talk about these like larger concepts, like they're so

clarified, they're so above all of our pay grades that like there's no criticism.

Like, what are you?

Right.

We We can't disagree with this.

We don't know.

You don't major.

You don't, you know, nothing.

And so now it's like to criticize like that or even poke holes in like the fact that she maybe used this reference incorrectly.

It's like, well, Travis's influence.

Well, damn.

Travis's influence.

So, but other, before the song was like, you know, tainted for me by that piece of commentary, I, this is such a great song.

It's all I liked.

Love it.

Agreed.

It's party.

And usually the first song a little different.

Usually the first song on the album, I always start at number two.

I never liked the first song on her album, like Fortnite.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't agree, but yeah.

But this one, actually, Elizabeth Taylor is number two, and even though people are saying it's growing on them, it's like not really growing on me, but that's okay.

It's not a bad song.

There's only one song that is actually bad on this album, and it's called Honey.

But Elizabeth Taylor is like a good song.

If any other like pop girly released it, we'd be like, it's good.

I disagree.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

I don't also like fully understand what she's saying in Elizabeth Taylor.

Yeah, I don't really either.

Do you think it's forever?

Elizabeth Taylor.

But

I don't turn it off when I listen to it.

I'm like, it's cute.

It's fun.

I like the beat.

I didn't save it.

Okay.

Did you?

I don't save music like that.

I listen to the album in full, and that's how I listen to TTBD, and that's why I love TTBD.

Next, the best song on the album, and the best song I think, like on the last three albums, not Midnights, but the others, Opalite.

Yeah.

So good.

So rat.

you were dancing through the lightning strike and there are so many theories about what it meant to go from onyx night to to opalite jackie cracked the code but people on tick tock are being really crazy about it so i was listening to and it's like we know opalite is travis's birthstone so now this guy is opalite because it's travis's birthstone is this and opalite's also just like beautiful and pargy and she's like so happy and light and bright and she was previously um dancing through the onyx night now every time i hear that lyric i'm like i would have thought she would just say like dancing through the darkest night because if it was like dark times but i'm like wait onyx is that a birthstone yes it is a birthstone for the month of july so i went through recent exes no one's born in july i went all the way that's chat gbt they said connor kennedy is the only one so she's not referencing like an old boyfriend clearly um but they met in the month of july so like in july it was an onyx night because it was dark before she met travis and now she's having opalite

yeah there are some like crazy swifties who think that onyx night because Onyx is black, they're referencing Taylor, Taylor, they're referencing Travis's ex-girlfriend who's black.

Like people, like people are really being crazy about this lyric, it's specifically, but they're also like,

the woke community is coming for Taylor in a lot of the lyrics

and specifically saying that this is a microaggression.

Oh, well, no, I don't think she would be so blatantly.

I cracked it.

So there you go.

Yeah, Jackie cracked it.

They met in July.

They met in July.

Onyx is the birthstone for july and the song has a theme of birthstones because his is opalite which is october

oh his birthday was yesterday happy birthday to travis happy i love your cake travis i love your cake travi

um yes agreed that song is a pussy popping banger yeah and like for me that's like such an amazing song that this makes this album amazing like i got one of my favorite songs that's why i'm enjoying the album yeah it's all right it's just joyful too right and that's like definitely what i gravitate towards joy Yeah, and that's what I'm saying.

Like she's writing about her love with Travis.

It's a new form of love and it's a beautiful song and it's great and it's fun.

So it can be done.

Yeah.

Next, eldest daughter.

I'm not a bad bitch.

There's a lot of cringe lyrics in here.

But we'll get back to it.

And this is in savage.

I ain't never going to let you down.

Never going to leave you out.

Okay, there's actually a lyric in here that's trolling and memes.

Like she says the meme.

That's the first sentence.

That's a problem.

That's hard to hear.

It is.

So it's like she's creating these beautiful melodies, and her voice is so beautiful.

And then she'll say something that just like takes you out of the song.

And like, I'm sorry, a song like this can't age well because like memes,

you know, memes.

Like, I can't.

Yeah, no, it's rough.

And also, I heard that the clean version of this song goes, I'm not the baddest, and this isn't savage i like that better i'm not a bad

is like really yucky cringe but it's but the lot the melody is really pretty so it's not a total like miss for me but um same and i understand what she's saying and i actually like what she's saying like in this world of like internet and trolling and just like negativity like she's not like that like she doesn't play like like i actually get it and she's such an eloquent person.

I feel like there would have been a partier way to say it instead of I'm not a bad bitch and this is savage.

I think I need to start listening to the clean version of the album because I like some of those lyrics that make I heard that about a lunch a bunch of songs.

Yeah, like for because for the movie theater version, it's the clean versions of the songs you could bring your kids.

Oh,

that's nice.

Like the one, the lyric that everybody's like dying over actually, like for

actually romantic, like make you sweat.

We have to talk about that.

Makes you sweat.

Good.

Then before that was father figure, which people are saying it's either about Scott Borschetta, Olivia Rodrigo or both inverted at some point.

So in the movie theater, she says it's about the music industry.

Okay.

Aka Scott Borschetta.

Okay.

I'll be a father.

Oh, because my dick's bigger.

That's like a cringe line that I don't hate.

Yeah, I and the first time I heard it, I missed it.

And then when she said at the bridge, when she turns the tables, because now her dick's bigger, I was like, well, damn.

But in the clean version, it's my check's bigger.

I like that.

Also good.

I like that.

Also good.

This song is not amazing.

It's not terrible.

It's fine.

It's on the bottom half for me.

Yeah.

Next is Ruin the Friendship, which,

how does the chorus go?

It wasn't convenient.

How does it go?

Hold on, wait.

Oh, I mean, I have them up here.

I could play it.

Hold on.

I don't want to go.

Should have kissed you anyway.

Oh, yeah.

I don't want to say anything bad about it because it's like obviously about

something sad.

And I think it's also

the same person in Taylor's life who Forever Winter was about.

It's just about like somebody who struggled with mental health.

So it's like a sweet song.

I think the lyric about her getting the call from Abigail and having to fly home and it not being convenient.

I think that was a really weird word to use.

Convenient.

Like, sorry.

Sorry that this funeral is not convenient for you.

Yeah.

Also, her talking about like that, she's, it's about about prom

well one thing about Taylor is that she often uses the

structure of like high school as a metaphor for stuff.

No, it's not.

I know what you're saying.

But like a lot of people when she released

Miss Americana.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I know she's talking about.

I love the high school metaphor.

She wears short skirts.

I wear t-shirts.

Like I love it.

Right.

She's talking about like third actual show, her prom.

Yeah.

And this is a nice song about like something she's been through, but I don't understand how it fits into the album from like a bigger perspective.

Especially like 12 bops that we were promised, not just a stream of consciousness.

Right, and that's what this is.

It's very TTPD.

Yeah, it is.

Maybe it was from the cutting room floor of TTPD.

Yeah, but this song had no, like, this song was like

only hit, like, only the best of the best.

Kremdale.

Yeah.

Next, actually Romantic, the Charlie XTX song.

Yeah, Charlie XCX posted actually that she's in the studio, so it's giving, you know, diss track coming back.

And if I was Taylor, I'd be really scared.

Like, yeah.

Because, you know, Charlie XCX invented Brat.

And if you actually look up the definition of Brat, like the definition of Brat is like having loose morals, right?

And you don't want somebody with loose morals writing a diss track about you.

Like, that's the scariest thing ever.

I don't know why Taylor wrote a song about Charlie XX, even though I'm down.

Like, I ride for Taylor in Taylor vs.

Charlie.

Like, I do not fuck with Charlie.

There's this coalition emerging against Taylor.

Yes.

I feel like, you know, five years ago, there was one that sort of have moved on with their lives.

And even though she talks about them all the time, it's like Kim and Scooter and Justin.

And like, everyone's sort of moved on, except for Taylor, but that's fine.

They don't like, I don't think, get together and meet about how they're going to take her down.

No.

I think this coalition of Charlie XTX, Maddie Healy, Billie Eilish, Billie Eilish, Lord.

So Phineas actually reposted a video that somebody posted that that Taylor's new album feels spiritually Israeli, like in a derogatory sense.

And Phineas reposted it.

Everybody's like, yes, our pro-Palestinian king, Phineas.

And I just want to say, I fucking hate Phineas.

Yes, there's a big group of losers who hate Taylor.

It's because they're jealous.

And yes, Charlie XTX, but I do feel like they have a kind of a strong chokehold on culture.

And it's like not good for Taylor in the pop wars.

I think Taylor will emerge.

And I'm so firmly team Taylor.

Of course.

Like them not liking her makes me like her

more.

It's all the people I don't like that don't like Taylor, so I'm good.

But it is like a group of crazy people.

Because like Kim and Scooter, like they're not crazy.

They're just like, you know, no, the

intense business people, whatever.

But like those people are crazy.

Radical.

Where's Lorde?

Because I kind of put her in that group.

Yeah.

And people were saying that one of Taylor's songs sounds like yellow flicker beat from Lord.

Does it?

From Hunger Games.

And I feel like if any, like a lot of people are saying a lot, like, I don't think the Jonas brothers are going to sue Taylor over Cool Showgirl.

I think it's cool for them, and they're not, they don't want to awake the beast.

But also, I don't know if they necessarily have legal grounds to stand on.

Like, sometimes a song sounds like another song, and it's completely within the rights of, and that's what happened with Ed Sheeran versus the estate of Tom Petty.

No, Tom Petty.

I think there's both.

I think we've had this conversation.

Right.

So sometime, oh, no, that was sorry.

Sam Smith versus Tom Petty.

Both, they both won Sam Smith and Ed Sheeran.

Songs can legally sound the same.

There are only so many chords to put together.

There's eight notes.

But like what Olivia Rodrigo did was use a sample of Taylor Smith's New Year's Day, like that chord progression, and not credit it.

That's illegal.

And that's why Taylor gets a cut of Olivia Rodrigo's songs.

So I have to imagine if anybody could sue Taylor, they would, but Taylor's not that stupid.

Like some songs might sound like other songs, but in a completely legal way.

I'm just saying, just look out for that.

I know that's like a big, that's a big issue for Taylor.

And that's what a lot of the Taylor haters are saying: is that like Taylor's the credit queen, right?

She, like, you know, took the profits from a teenage girl, Olivia Rodrigo.

Since Olivia Rodrigo is not a teenage girl, everybody needs to stop calling her that.

Oh, sorry.

I started this whole point by saying, I almost wish Taylor didn't write this song about Charlie XEX because it's so punching down, right?

Like, Taylor's the biggest star in the world.

Like, who is Charlie?

I know Charlie X is having a big moment with Bratt, but she's not on the same level as Taylor.

She will not be remembered for years to come.

And now, like, Kim is a word, worthy adversary

for Taylor.

Charlie XCS is not.

And now this song is, I don't know what's going to come out, but I just know she's going to say like the most horrible things about Taylor.

Like, there's,

like, that's just like she said, Brat is loose morals.

So you're not going to like hold back.

Yeah.

And it's just crazy that, like,

she's, like, it's Charlie XCS and she's one of the 12.

Right, and there's only 12 songs.

Yeah, the 12 just like holds it to a higher standard.

I know.

and the song is good it's fine except for the wet line like really unnecessary screen version right

next is wish list

okay so this one like i love the message i love the beat there are a lot of cringe lyrics but like i don't care yeah i enjoy it i really like the message that's what i had said

and so she's having babies we didn't need dollar signs no

But I love the message.

It's like, you can want different things.

Like for, I feel like Taylor was basically saying, like, I've always been a girl boss, girl boss, girl boss, career, career career and now she's found this love like and she wants to girl boss and settle down like she's settling down she wants a basketball hoop she's having a crop of kids got the whole block looking like you I love

love yeah love

next would which is a song about Travis's penis wrapped in double entendres it's a two minute and 30 second songs 230 centimeters is nine inches it's the ninth song they're saying Travis is a big juicy nine inch dick that's what's being said um and then Taylor's out like celebrating the album with her parents and donna is going to like release party song parties like i don't know i need to look past lyrics because i want to say vibe wise melodically this is the best song on the album it is so much fun

it does sound like jackson 5 and by the way the jackson 5 is amazing like yeah i love that i don't know what style of music that is but it's just like happy music

I love this song.

And I really listen to it like blindly in the sense that like I know the words, but I'm not listening to them.

yeah yeah didn't do me any good i ain't gotta knock on what like yes party party though i don't love the concept of like writing about um

the fact that i listened to it the first time it wasn't so overt like it is more like double entanglement a little breener i think she's been influenced by the breen i know people are saying like she's trying to be sabrina being sex i think you can be influenced by someone i think that's okay

Yes, but I also think this is like a real life reflection of what's going on in Taylor's life.

Like we have to like take stock of all all the people Taylor has previously dated.

And I just don't think she was getting dicked down in the way that she is.

Like, yeah, it's giving 500 Days a Summer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Or like, I would be surprised.

She wrote a song like this about like Joe or Maddie, they would be like embarrassed, whereas Travis gets sick.

Like, yeah, right about Travis.

That is the best.

Totally.

And let's be real.

Like, she was not writing songs like this at Travis about Maddie and Joe.

Like, it just wasn't going down like that.

Like,

I just know it.

Like, I said, 500 Days of Summer.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

It's literally Raven Gates on The Bachelor.

That's what I was singing to.

And now, and then I realized, like, oh, it must be, that must have been a callback to that movie that you're talking about.

Maybe

Taylor just watched Nick Vile's season.

Is that who it was?

Whose season was that?

Yeah.

Maybe she just re-watched that season of The Bachelor, and that was her inspiration.

I wouldn't be surprised.

She loves reality TV and kneeshark niches.

I just want to say, sometimes I know when Taylor's influenced by stuff.

Like the song Champagne Problems is totally influenced by Evelyn Hugo.

I really think that Taylor watched recently 500 Days of Summer, and she related to like that, him walking to work, like with such a giddy smile, because he finally got laid.

That's what it feels like.

She was like dating this like skinny, like

shorter than her British man who definitely had bad breath.

Like, no, and now she's with Travis and it's nine-inch cock.

Like, yeah.

Yeah.

I've got something to say about.

And in the, um,

I spoke to Satchi Ashre this morning, our Taylor Swift, our T.

Loas correspondent, because she went to the movie theater yesterday.

I watched her review.

I spoke to her, and she said that she talks about wood in the movie, just being like, it's a song about superstition, you know, walking on cracks, knocking on wood.

I like that.

She said that's all it's about.

And I like that we can think that.

Yes, agreed.

You know, there's a version for the kids and there's a version for the adults.

Hypnotize.

I didn't need that word specifically.

I wonder

what the lyric is on the clean version.

Hypnotize.

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

Next, canceled.

Okay, this song's getting a lot of hate.

I love the message.

Good thing I like my friend.

It's giving reputation.

I agree.

And the first time I heard it, I said, I like elements of this song.

There are some cringe lyrics.

I don't know why the title is in caps with an exclamation point when we're not screaming.

We're sorry.

Right, exactly.

Very sultry.

We're singing in a sultry manner.

So that's like just not congruous for me.

But I like Brittany Mahomes getting a song.

Like, well, she's one year in.

He's a winning life.

I think she's the friend that's canceled.

I liked him draped in Gucci and in scandal.

When they went to the U.S.

Open, they were all wearing Gucci and that was like the peak of her friendship with Brittany Mahomes.

And everybody's like, Taylor's friendship is MAGA.

And like everybody was coming for Travis and Taylor and like not being appropriate at the U.S.

Open.

Remember, like there was so much scandal with that one event.

I do believe this is about Brittany Mahomes.

Amongst other things, like all of Taylor's friends have like, anytime she spotted with someone, it's like, well, they once went on a podcast.

like everybody like Taylor's like annoying fans I think that's what it's referencing yeah does nobody else think that I didn't think it was about Britney specifically and I feel like a lot of her friends could wear Gucci and I didn't see that US Open thing as being like Mardin

Gucci she was wearing reformation

Travis and

they were wearing Gucci there was Gucci happening but I don't know and also I don't recall that event being like Mardin scandal so that's not like where my head goes um of course blake lively like does come to mind a couple things one

taylor's wearing a blake lively bracelet in the yes photo shoot it was like a custom by lorraine schwartz but i do think like two people could have the same bracelet no taylor doesn't overlook details like that um like somebody would have put it together i don't know if it's like a nod to like my bestie blake who i ride for or it's like a reference like this was

like blake can't come to the phone right now because she's dead and i stole her bracelet oh interesting i don't know but then this song like makes makes and her putting it out like at the moment where like Blake is canceled and they're not friends like makes me feel like they actually are still friends.

And when she says, um,

oh, a lot of people say father figures could be about Ryan Reynolds, too.

Like that, that Ryan like threatened Taylor on behalf of Blake being like, come defend us or like whatever.

And she's like, Mo, my dick's bigger.

Like, I can get my subpoena, you know?

And there's also references to flowers in this canceled song, which was the big reason why Blake was canceled because she was promoting flowers.

because she was promoting flowers and also like did you make a joke only a man could like i feel like the way that like blake is being canceled because like you know her diva behavior on set like if a man did those things like right

i don't know i just want to say i hope it's about blake like i don't want blake and taylor to not be friends one i think it's an important friendship for taylor but also like if Like it's just so, it makes the whole thing so much worse for Blake Lively.

Like, and I just, I actually hope that they're not.

Yeah, but that's why there will be a wedding and a bachelorette party.

And

Taylor said on Graham Norton, everyone's invited.

Yeah.

Next, Honey, which you and I both agree is the worst song on the album.

And I'm glad that we are aligned on that.

Margot Ashray posted, like, I feel like we're not talking about honey enough.

I'm like, yeah, we're not talking about how

that is enough.

On purpose, we're not talking about it.

Yeah.

And then Life of a Show, we're all featuring Brino, which is like, what we were promised.

The princess who was promised.

So many people have made references to this song being very similar to The Greatest Showman bar scene where Carlisle, Philip Carlisle,

and it's where this like old and new sort of decide to join forces and work together and then eventually pass the baton on to Zach Efron.

And it's so Olivia Rodrigo-coated.

I'm sorry.

Like it's literally Taylor's always talking about how the industry's like trying to push her out, push her out, push her out.

But the song really says like the Aristor made me like, I'm married to the hustle now.

Like she, no one can ever, there's not like a new Taylor Swift.

Like Taylor Swift's reached a level that nobody else will ever reach, but they're always like new, new, new.

And it's like her totally like passing the baton on to Breener.

Like she's okay with Breener being like the next Taylor, but Taylor's not going anywhere.

The song is just melodically, sonically, so good.

But listen to the lyrics.

It's so Philip Carlisle coded.

And that's exactly what happened in the Greater Showman.

But like, I feel like people really, there is no Taylor, next Taylor.

I agree with that.

And like, Taylor's here to stay.

But like, there's so many girls who she brings up with her.

Like, what about Gracie Abrams?

She doesn't get to be a part of this conversation conversation because she's not part of Olivia V's Breener.

But like Taylor's done the same thing for her.

She's collabed with her on songs.

She had her open for her.

Like she has gotten as Gracie Abrams is not threatening to Taylor Swift's place in music at all.

Sabrina is a little and Olivia Rodrigo was.

Gracie is a little because of her songwriting abilities.

Okay, but you know Gracie's like songwriting abilities are all that girl, Audrey Hobart.

No, I don't know that because I like, why would I know that?

Audrey, yeah.

Do you know the song?

What's that girl's song?

I can't remember.

Whatever.

Like, she writes a lot with this girl, Audrey, and then Audrey just released her own album.

And it's like, literally, that's the Gracie Abrams vibe, like the talking, the not breathing, singing.

It's a skill, Audrey.

So I'm just saying, I don't think Gracie Abrams poses a real threat to Taylor's ability.

Like her passing the baton to Gracie, it's like, no, actually, you actually can't reach.

Okay, I'm just saying there are a lot of people who, like, we just go like for Breener versus Olivia because it's too late.

I'm like Olivia Rodrigo is all over this album.

Like she just is.

But I do think from a songwriting perspective, like Olivia Rodrigo would be amongst the next Taylor Swifts that we have.

Yes, of course.

That's why like.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that is your T.

Loas recap.

Oh, and then she announced like acoustic mat.

Oh my God.

By the way, read the room, girl.

She has to stop doing that.

Yeah.

It's what people always criticize her for.

And like,

there's so much Taylor criticism that's just like, all right, just say you hate her like your reasoning sucks this is so valid

and she said she can't and then names there's 12 songs and you're not getting any more whereas like when she did midnights and then like midnight's 2 a.m version it's like well we never thought we weren't getting more but so to say that we're not getting more and then we get five more and they're like acoustic mashups with like so many words it's just a lot

so here are the the songs that she's releasing.

Life is a song.

Life is a song acoustic version with Opalite.

Life is a song acoustic version and ruin the Friendship, My Advice version.

What?

Dressing Room Rehearsal Version with Wishlist Settled Down Acoustic Version and The Life of a Showgirl Dressing Room Rehearsal Acoustic Version.

Alone in My Tower Acoustic Version with The Fate of Ophelia, Alone in My Tower Acoustic Version, and Eldest Daughter, Now Your Home Acoustic Version.

And how can you listen to these songs?

Not even on Spotify.

There are four limited CD releases, each including two acoustic bonus tracks, on her site now for 24 hours.

But if you want all the different versions, you need to buy all four CDs.

Now, this is her way of like gaming, you know, the charts and making herself the most, you know, downloaded, streamed, and CD.

And I get it, like releasing multiple, a lot of people release different versions.

Sabrina released like a couple of different covers.

Taylor has now released like four or five vinyls with different covers.

And there's so much imagery coming out of Taylor's camp, like different music videos, photo shoots, alternative covers.

Every single picture I see is 50 times better than the one she chose for the cover.

Just saying.

Yeah, she has already sold like 2.7 million copies on day one of Life of a Showgirl, which is the second best for an album's first week in history.

And she's on what was the first best?

Number one is Adele's 25, which sold 3.4 million albums.

And like, even if Taylor happens to sell 3.5 million, like it's not as impressive.

That was 3.5 million.

Honestly, Adele's not doing multiple covers and vibes signed on her website.

There are 2.4 million people buying Adele's album.

Right.

With Taylor's 2.7, it's like a million people buying three different versions of it.

Yeah.

That's that's a very valid criticism of Taylor.

It's also just like so wasteful.

Oh, Billie Eilish.

Okay.

No, it is.

I'm not Billie Eilish.

Don't ever call me that.

That's like the most insulting thing you can call me.

I just feel like it's so

stupid.

Yeah.

Like, I don't care about like the material waste.

It's just like.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I wasn't talking about like the recycling of it all.

Like people's money.

Like it's wasteful.

Yeah, but people get to choose what they spend their money on.

No one is forcing you to buy

the shiny bug collection.

Um,

I just feel like it's so like

in your like drinking your own Kool-Aid, like, in your own shit.

Like, it's just like it's not necessary.

Yeah, I agree, but um, people can do what they want, do as they please, including her.

If she wants to put out some more vinyls,

are you ready for our next story?

Yeah, at last,

the weirdest story I've ever shared.

Ex-Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez acted erratically and body slammed a truck driver before being stabbed in Indianapolis, cops say.

We are always talking about Mark Sanchez.

I just want to say that.

Like, remember during COVID, we found out Mark Sanchez was a toaster.

And then I went live on Instagram with him, like, because like, whatever.

No, I honestly don't remember that.

You don't remember when I went live on Instagram with Mark Sanchez?

No, but I do remember we were just talking about him.

We're always talking about Mark Sanchez.

You guys know that.

And now our work has paid off because he is headline news.

And like now he's like headline news for this, but before this, he was like, you know, a very low-level sports broadcaster.

When I was in high school, he is still a sports broadcaster.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But when we were in high school, Mark Sanchez was like the hottest thing on the planet.

He was coming to the Jets to save us.

He was like this hot young thing.

There was like a two-year period where he was on the cover of the New York Post every single day.

Like he was, he had such promise, such potential.

And now he's like beating up older gentlemen in backyards.

Like when I saw this headline, at first it was just Mark Sanchez stabbed.

Stabbed and hospitalized.

Not my Mark Sanchez.

Right.

I was like, no.

At first, it was like tragic news that he was stabbed and in the hospital in critical condition.

And then it was also like, and he's arrested there.

Then things started to take a turn saying like he was arrested.

There was footage of him in an alley and the other man who was stabbing Mark in self-defense was 69 years old.

And he's a truck driver.

Now you give everyone the details.

I'm finally going to get my LaCroix.

Former Jex quarterback Mark Sanchez was acting erratically, reeked reeked of booze, and was slurring his words when he body slammed an elderly grease truck driver just before he was stabbed in the chest in Indianapolis.

The 69-year-old driver said he stabbed Sanchez several times in self-defense after the attack, telling cops this guy is trying to kill me, court documents say.

Grim photos, we also have photos of the alleged victim, the truck driver.

Those photos show him wearing a neck brace and covered in blood, lying bruised and battered in his hospital bed.

His family says he was cut in the fight and it went through his cheek and hit his tongue.

Ah,

and um like Mark was drunk.

Mark was drunk.

That's what the guy told the police.

He was like slurrying his words, starting stuff.

Seriously, I never thought I'd say these three words.

Fuck Mark Sanchez.

What the fuck is wrong with?

Starting fights with like older people.

Like pick on someone your own size.

First of all, you're a former athlete messing with this older gentleman.

I hope he sues the fuck out of Mark.

Where's the GoFundMe?

I'm so upset.

Yeah.

And like, what were they arguing?

What was even the catalyst?

I think it was like a pedestrian, like, can you move your car?

Like a parking thing.

That's how it started.

Like, can you move your car?

You're in my way.

Get out of my way.

The hotel said this.

Like, something so silly.

That's so crazy.

That's fuck Mark Sanchez.

Yeah.

It just began as a disagreement, escalated into violence.

Like, like, if you find yourself as like an able-bodied young man fighting with a 69-year-old, like, you are doing something wrong.

Shouting at him and like in his face, but the man couldn't hear because he wears hearing aids, but he took him out.

Oh, stop.

I'm going to kill myself.

I'm going to put him out because the frying oil

truck that he works, the grease truck gets really loud.

So he took out his hearing aids.

And so when Mark yelled at him, he couldn't hear him.

So he had to get in his face.

Oh my God, that detail made me so upset.

No, like, what the fuck is Mark Sanchez doing?

Fuck Mark Sanchez.

Like, fuck Mark Sanchez.

I'm so upset.

Oh, my God.

That little detail just made me, like, really upset.

No, it's, it's actually absurd.

Hopefully we'll

know more soon.

Because like what like, I just don't understand how and what they're

waiting.

That's so upsetting, him and his hearing aids.

I don't know.

Weirdest story.

Weirdest, yes.

So we'll stay tuned for deets on that.

Yeah.

Our next story, some more legal news.

Diddy has been sentenced to four years in prison after a mixed verdict in his federal prosecution prostitution trial.

So this doesn't feel like a lot of time.

Like, I know if I was sent to prison for four years, like it would be the longest four years of my life.

It's an eternity.

But just in the grand scheme of things, you know, I love to compare it to like the Christleys.

I don't know how you get accused of like all he got accused of and you go to jail for four years.

But he didn't get like convicted of everything.

I think he got like convicted actually of like the smaller things.

The smaller side.

I also feel like the trial,

I don't know if everything like came to light,

if it was like a successful process.

Well, we were promised a list.

I don't know if it was like a successful prosecution, you know?

Yeah.

And I'm sure like the sentence will be probably shorter than overcrowding, which is apparently a real thing.

Behavior.

So.

And is he going to Rikers?

Oh, but also he's like low-key been in jail already for like a year or two.

And that counts towards your sentence.

So, while you're like awaiting trial, if you can't get out, because he was, you know, without bail, he has been in Rikers for at least a year, maybe two.

Yeah, because we were in the old studio.

I remember when you were talking about it.

So,

he could get out in two years because it's all it counts towards your sentence.

That's so crazy.

That is so crazy.

He'll also have to pay the court a fine of $500,000 as well as participate in programs for his mental health and substance abuse issues.

There is no restitution.

Cool.

Okay, that was like a whole big nothing burger.

Yeah,

it always is.

It always is.

There were no cameras inside the court, but there are illustrations.

I know.

And those illustrators, like, they go hard.

You know, they put their own spit.

I love those court illustrations, but high-profile cases that are not televised, I just

can't.

I feel like it's like a public.

I know it's state by state, they all have their own laws, but it should be like a public service, like a part of his punishment, like, you know, the shame of having

your trial televised.

Yeah.

Just saying.

So that's the latest with that.

Are you ready for our fourth story?

If it's our fourth story, that's brought to you by Bare Bells.

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Open up.

Our fourth story is made for Claudia.

Two of her favorite topics in this world.

One, Hillary Duck.

Oh.

Oh.

And two, role model sally guest it's not my favorite topic i just like like to keep you in the know because we've so i wish you could have seen me on saturday jackie i took ruby for a walk these three hot young things came up to me they're like are you claudia from the toast girl

boys 16.

like they were so young i was like you guys know me you recognize me And sometimes like young people come up to me and they're like from TikTok, you know?

Then again, we love the toast.

That's amazing.

It's probably because you've been keeping us abreast of who comes out on Sally.

Role model concerts.

And I'm so glad you brought this up.

Hilary Duff did an amazing job.

She was a great Sally.

So

you should understand the headline here.

Hillary Duff makes a surprise appearance on stage at Role Model's ACO Fest as Sally.

Claudia has been keeping us abreast at role model, who is a singer who sings just a lot of people.

He's very TikTok-y.

He's like a young guy.

He doesn't have, he dated Emma Chamberlain, which is how everyone knows him.

His name is Tucker, but he goes by the stage name Role Model.

And his big hit is, oh, shit, here we go again.

I'm falling headfirst.

Salad Lemina soda.

Hotter than a fever.

Sally.

And so when he performs it live, he does this cute little thing where he'll bring out a girl and she's the Sally for the night.

She comes on stage and she sings and dances.

At first, it was fans and then it was like influencers, Jake Shane, you know, but he's really leveled up.

Jake Shane was Sally?

Jake Shane was like one of the first Sally's.

Wow, Jake Shane doing big things.

Huge.

Then it really caught on to be like this big thing, and he started getting like huge names.

Olivia Rodrigo has done it.

And he's not like an enormous artist.

Like, it's worth mentioning.

It's just like this big song.

Olivia Rodrigo's done it.

Kate Hudson did it.

And then over the weekend, he performed at Austin City Limits and he brought out Hillary Duff, who like is Sally.

And Sally's just like sort of this all-American swirly.

And what people do with the platform is really interesting.

Kate Hudson has been like everyone's favorite because she's so, it's like, Sally's a girl in a rom-com.

You know, you hear the song and it's just like fun-loving gal.

And you just like get up there.

There's no choreography.

You just like let him sing to you and like dance and you're like cute and fun and you engage with the crowd.

Some people have been terrible.

Some people have been good.

Kate Hudson has been amazing and Hillary Duff crushed.

Even though there's like nothing to crush, you don't do anything.

She crushed.

No, she crushed.

I agree.

I haven't seen footage of other people being Sally, but I know about the Sally concept.

I didn't have any expectations, but I could see that Hillary Duff was doing a good job.

It's literally a girl on a rom-com, which she has been.

So maybe that's why she like flipped her hair around.

She did a little dance.

And she also knew the words.

Not just people coming on stage, Natalie Portman and not knowing the words.

Yeah, she knew the words.

She sang along.

She had her cute little mini skirt.

She's coming back to music.

She's doing her docuseries.

I feel like a lot of the times it's like people with kids who like love Tucker because he's really like young for like young teenagers.

So I could see like Kate Hudson's kids like liking him and that's why she just agreed to do it.

Even though I could see also him have written the song about her.

Like she's so Sally.

Got it.

And speaking of Sally, I know you're obsessed with Alex Earl's friend Sally.

And huge news for Sally over the weekend, a video was posted because there was like rumors that she was dating Fibula.

Right.

And she is dating Fibula.

There was a video of them kissing, like sitting on a couch.

Not me seeing Fibula three days ago and he didn't tell me he had a girlfriend.

I'm so upset.

That's huge for Fibula.

Yeah.

No, it's huge.

Okay.

So it's huge because also like Fibula has a podcast with a girl.

He like hosts with a girl and everybody like ships him and the girl, even though they're like, they're truly just friends.

But there's like all these theories that like they're in love.

But he like has a girlfriend.

So that's like.

Tough for the people who, you know, think that theory.

So like their podcast community on TikTok, they were burnt, like burning it it down they were so upset i'm sure sally's getting hate but i'm sending sally love as always sally's definitely getting hate as always sally and her 24-hour birthday never forget

right

are you ready for our fifth and final story yeah it's some news news by the way we should do like a weekly segment like what that just was like tourneys like gen z corner where like i just like tell you about what's going on with the youth for sure but you typically do like send me stories if you want to um talk about them.

Like

a segment to like share my passions.

I was just saying, like, we can definitely do Turdy's Gen Z corner.

But can you make up a better name?

I kind of like love it.

You do?

Turdies GZC.

TZ.

I love.

I kind of love the Gen Z corner.

And it's just like, it won't happen like...

in installments because like Gen Z is going to Gen Z and I can't commit to it.

But when it does happen, then we then say, and that was how Turdy Gen Zs it.

No, and that's how Turney Gen Z sees it because it's Gen Z.

Oh, sure, sure.

That's good.

That's good.

I love that.

Collaboration.

Collaborative.

Our fifth and final story is some news news.

News about the news.

Oh.

Barry Weiss has been named editor-in-chief of CBS News as Paramount acquires the free press.

So I thought you were going to say some new news, and maybe they decided who's going to permanently fill in for Jenna and and Hoda.

Like, what is taking them so long to get it?

Yeah, wouldn't it actually be news news?

Because it just reminded me over the weekend, I thought about this too, and I texted Justin Sylvester, and I was like, Why aren't they giving you that job?

Like, it's so obviously Justin Sylvester.

Yeah, Hoda went on Andy and Watch Happens Live, and Andy asked, Who do you want to replace you?

And he literally said, Justin Sylvester.

What did Justin say when you texted him?

He was, you know, always the diplomat, very political.

Like, oh, it's been such an honor to be.

Yeah.

And I'm like, bitch, it should be you.

It's so annoying.

And now it's like the Jeopardy thing.

I don't, I like, I forgot about it.

I don't even care who they choose, but I cannot believe they still haven't chosen someone.

Yeah.

It's been almost a year.

I don't know.

I'm, I'm off of it now, and I doubt that it will be like someone very exciting.

And even if they are exciting, it's like sad because we're no longer excited.

Yeah.

And if it's not Justin, like, I won't be excited.

Like, even if they chose me, I wouldn't be excited.

Like, I want it to be Justin.

It's, it's his job to lose.

Yeah.

For the show that you don't watch.

correct but uh best believe i would be watching yeah that's true um anyways this has been like in the works for a while there's been a lot of rumors about it rumors but it's now confirmed barry put out like a video today and her podcast saying like the free press which is like her original

media company that she started after she left the new york times um

which is like a subscription media company but they also have like free articles has been acquired like a newsletter that like is immensely popular it's like pretty like middle ground political it's very centrist.

Yeah, that's like the whole purpose of it.

Right.

A lot of people I know, like on multiple different sides of the political aisle, subscribe to it because she has like lots of different people writing for it.

And we had her sister co-host when I was a maternity leave.

She does like the pop culture.

She does the pop culture beat.

Barry's sister, Susie.

They're like four girls also.

One of the best episodes of Jackson Friends.

Everyone was obsessed.

Susie was so good.

And the free prints is just, it's really great.

It's really like for everyone who's interested in like news and like culture.

Interesting takes has been acquired by paramount plus or paramount in general and barry

paramount owns cbs right paramount acquired free press and barry will be the editor-in-chief of cbs news which is like a big is that like is that like the website or like the tv channel both cbs news in general the brand i didn't even know that was like a job you could have so like those two brands are will probably be like merging in some sense, which is just interesting, which would make like interesting television.

Yeah, I also feel like this marks like a huge moment in, like, there's so much traditional news media, like TV radio that's been around forever.

And then like the new, you know, sub stack and people, uh, social media.

And this is like the kind of the first big merger.

Yeah,

this is like a major shift.

Yeah, I wonder what this means.

I think it will be good.

I think it'll be like more opinions, more content.

She's like done an amazing job of like doing like a multimedia company and internet since she left the New York Times in 2020.

So like what she'll do with the CBS newsroom and budget,

I think it's a net positive and I think it's exciting for the industry.

You love to see a woman in male-dominated spaces, specifically a Jewess.

And a toaster.

And a toaster by osmosis.

No, I think Barry's a toaster.

She's so toasty.

Susie really like was,

I watched the episode really giving like everyone comes on and like, you know, is amazing.

And like, but she was like so serious about like the stuff that we talk about because like she takes it as seriously as we do.

She's like an intellectual who's like deeply invested in pop culture.

It's such a great combination.

Yeah, she's like an intellectual who's meeting us down here.

Yeah, no, it's a great episode.

If you want to get a sense of what they do over there in a pop culture sense watch chat episode with Susie

You love to see toasters in high places.

So I am going to dive into the Love is Blind recap.

And you tell me when it's time to take, I'll just give my cursory thoughts.

I hate this show.

I hate everyone.

Why is everyone leaving?

And why is like, okay, so I feel like actually, do you remember that guy who's like suing Love is Blind?

From

Nick and Danielle.

Nick and Danielle.

Nick.

It's funny how I can't remember.

I don't know anyone's names on this season that I'm watching.

You texted me like, Joe is weird.

And I'm like, seriously, who's Joe?

I've never heard that name.

Nick and Danielle?

Right here, top of my head.

So he was like suing Netflix and the production company for like his mental health and how he's homeless now.

And it was like really like made some serious allegations about the production's behavior.

So I feel like they're like trying to negate that by like letting people go and not following them around with cameras.

Like, bitch, follow Ann home.

Why did you, like, are we never here?

I'm only on episode three, but like, are we not hearing from Anne ever again?

And then that other guy, Blake, oh, Anna.

And then Blake went home.

And we're just letting them go.

And I like how they had the producer, like, they left that scene and the producer talking to Blake, being like, whatever you need to do for your mental health, go.

It's like, okay, Nick wrote that script.

Oh, that's so funny that that's how you saw it.

I'm also just like, at least give us kernels that these people are like

sort of like struggling or not thriving into this experiment because like when i saw anna she was like crushing it and

in love she was like no her and patrick were really getting along everyone who spoke to her like was really dazzled by her like she's crushing it so why would this person who's literally like miscongeniality mispopular be like having a hard what am i missing they should have like showed us and then or did something happen like they always like leave crumbs of like you know someone will say something in the pot that is going to come home to roost later yeah and they give us that crumb and they gave us like like no indication or no crumbs that these two individuals were like having a hard time or suffering.

I don't think something happened.

I

don't know what happened though.

I just, I think that like,

yeah, maybe it's just like their mental health, but like there obviously had to have been footage where they're like not thriving in the experiment.

And it just would have been nice to have like an inkling of that.

Yeah.

As opposed to like she's literally about like she her and Patrick have just established that they are like each other's number

for each other.

And she leaves.

Same with Blake and Sparkle Meghan.

If one thing will derail this entire season, it's Sparkle Megan.

It's Sparkle Megan's nickname of Sparkle Megan because as an individual, she's completely fine.

Yeah, I like her.

So I have seen three reveals, and I'll talk about what my thoughts are on the couples, and then I'll take my headphones off.

What was the,

I'm never going to remember the first couple's names.

Anton and Allie.

Yeah.

So what was special about them?

I was half watching the first couple of years.

She's like so gorgeous.

Okay, I literally don't remember.

I didn't really watch their connection.

Um,

but do you even know?

Can you visualize them?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

But, like, what's their thing?

Nothing.

Um, okay.

I think they

related on something.

We didn't get a lot of their connection, but they obviously have the strongest one because they got, they showed us their engagement first, even though everyone gets engaged on the same day.

Yeah, of course.

The second couple was names I don't know.

Um,

Red Dress and the guy who was like very clearly not in Joe.

Joe, and what's her name?

It's a great question.

Joe in red dress, red dress, yeah.

That was genuinely painful, um, especially because I really liked their connection in the pods.

Like, I thought for sure that it was a match.

Oh, that's big that you even were watching that closely to have an opinion.

Okay, sorry, that was definitely an exaggeration.

I have no idea what their connection in the pods is.

All I know is she is the one who is going blind, therefore,

love

is blind.

Love might be blind in the future.

future.

Love is blind means even more to her.

Yeah.

And I feel sad for her.

And like, I just know it's going to be like a painful honeymoon.

And I feel sad.

And I'm really sorry that she signed up for this show.

The third couple I saw get engaged was Edmund and Calambria.

Two people have never been more perfect for one another.

Ben thinks that they're like the most amazing, cutest couple ever.

He like can't get over how matched they are.

Sure.

I don't know where they find these people.

They are, they are perfect for each other.

They're a little freaky.

Pop off.

The first few episodes, I was more distracted mentally.

I was like having a lot of like conversations on the side.

Like I was on my phone and I was talking to Zach and we were like just a lot going on

going on.

So those three couples, I have no idea what they connected over and if it's like strong or anything.

The latter couples that get together.

Well, I don't know who ends up.

So should I?

Yeah, because I have nothing to say about what you've seen.

The extra three couples, which are

Patrick and Casey and Sparkle Megan and Jordan,

and

I don't know if I'm going to remember the sixth couple.

Oh, well,

Nick and Amy, sure.

I think those are like maybe given what I've seen, like more of the stronger couples, even though I will say I thought Megan was right to choose Jordan over.

Mike.

I'm sorry his name was.

Because she was just like, Jordan was just like a lot lighter and happier and like made her feel like just life was like lighter with him.

However, what you don't see about Jordan in the pods, which I guess Mike had seen behind the scenes, and maybe this was what he was alluding to when he was trying to put Jordan down, is that like Jordan is extremely immature.

And the way he is at that mixer on the honeymoon with all the guys was seriously so awfully cringe.

Like, I guess in the pods, you don't get a sense of what a guy is like with his bros.

His sense of humor was so off, so unfunny.

Of course, Joe's was too, and they were like, you know, takes two to be unfunny and like bad fiancés.

But I expected more from Jordan, whereas Joe's just seems to be spiraling.

He's obviously like not happy in his connection and his relationship and isn't trying to like make it work.

Whereas Jordan and Megan seem like two serious people.

Of course, he has a son and like they are serious about each other.

I think they'll take this experiment much more seriously.

So for him to behave like that was like really icky.

And if I were her, like, I don't, I couldn't see past that.

It'd be like, oh, you're two different people when you're with me alone and when you're with your friends.

And I don't like that.

Goodbye.

Then Nick and Amy, at some point, like, is he ever going to tell her that he told two people that he loves them in the pods?

Cause that was weird.

Other than that, I think they're actually a really good fit.

They seem really pleased with how the other one looks and they seem really like actually a good connection, which is nice.

Casey and Patrick, that was insane to watch.

It was seriously one of the more most uncomfortable things I've ever watched.

I was jumping out of my skin watching him like watching her touch his face, like so tactile while also like breaking up with him but not actually saying it saying like i love you i'm sorry i can't and he's like so are we still together she's like i love you i'm sorry like he has no idea that they're broken up she is so manipulative especially when in the pods like when she felt like she was losing him she just wanted to get him so badly and she just starts like throwing like all this sex talk out there which is just like such low hanging fruit to like you know get a man to want to have sex like be with you um so i don't know why she went so hard for that when she was like ready to throw in the towel two seconds after meeting him.

I'll wait to talk about that scene more with Claudia when she watches it because like I seriously can't.

You're good.

I'm back.

Yeah.

Some of these scenes that I've seen, there are a couple of like crazy scenes that like I've just touched on, but we have, when you watch them, like we have to go in.

Claudia, some of the most uncomfortable television I've ever watched in my life.

Can't wait.

And that's what we get for sitting through five pot episodes and we've earned that.

Right, right.

Even though it was hard to watch.

Like it wasn't enjoyable.

This is the definition of a nalafi and we kind of need to get it out to people.

So I am making a judgment call.

That's the end of the episode.

That's the end of the episode.

Anything we didn't say, like we have every other day.

Four more days.

Yep.

Four more days.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toastmane Morning Show where we deliver the best by stories you need to know everybody the Friday on YouTube so if you're listening to YouTube oh no no wait no I forgot I have to redo it shit I hope everybody enjoyed watching this on you on Spotify oh I wanted to say to our Spotify swirlies the same way that our audio comes out immediately and then the YouTube video takes like an extra hour it's the same with Spotify.

So, the Spotify audio is going to come out instantly, just like it does on all the audio platforms.

And then, probably an hour later, the video goes up like it does on YouTube.

So, that's just maybe today a little longer, given the nalafi of it all.

Right.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast of Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube and Spotify.

Fuck, you know what?

Just like we love you so much.

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Keep coming.

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