Swiftielicious13: Friday, October 3rd, 2025

Today's episode of The Toast is brought to you by ATT.

You know what's elite?

When someone just handles it, like ATT.

Staying connected matters, and that's why ATT has connectivity that you can depend on or they'll proactively make it right.

That's the ATT guarantee.

Terms and conditions apply.

Visit ATT.com/slash guarantee for details.

Good morning, girlies.

It's the toast.

It's Jackson Claude, and we're your host.

It's your favorite show, the fast-five things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly.

It's the toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to the toast and happy Friday.

That feels like a Friday and a Monday combined because we are so accomplished.

We are so clean.

We have fasted.

Actually, we'll get into that in a second.

Happy Yonki Poor is the furthest away it'll ever be day.

Hey, Jax, how you dern?

Dern good.

Happy 11th day of the new year.

Happy life of a showgirl day.

Happy Friday.

So much to celebrate on this lovely day.

And all I have to say is, hey, thank you for the lovely bouquet.

I just finished the album and that the first song and the last song are like my favorite songs, but I love the Breener song.

It's already in my head.

So the Taylor album is going to be a story, right?

Yeah, yeah.

So save thoughts because like I need to catch up with my swirly because we both had a big day yesterday.

I want to know how your atoning went because I haven't even caught up with you on a personal level.

I actually don't know if we have had a pre-Fouse five banter banter as chunky as this one's about to be.

I, there is so much going on.

And I was just saying to somebody, like, nothing in my life happens for six months, and then six months happen in one week.

Well, Luke

has a song about it.

It's called When It Rains, It Pours.

Oh, oh, yeah, duh.

I thought it was like, does he have a new song about that?

Does he have a new song about your air conditioning going out?

Okay, so if it's okay.

If it's okay with you, I actually have a list.

I'm so overwhelmed.

Okay.

I'm sure, but could we start with Yom Kippur?

Because I do want to know, like, how your fast was.

That actually was second on my list, list, not to be annoying, because we kind of have big news, like big announcement news that I think should go first.

Oh, I agree.

Because if you're watching us today, you might be watching us on Spotify.

Today is day one of our videos being available on Spotify.

We've always been available to watch on YouTube, but now whether you're listening or watching, you could do both on Spotify.

You could toggle between, right?

Like, yes, I would actually recommend.

I love our YouTubers.

You feel free to stay always like, subscribe, comment.

Leave a comment.

Spotify's just been partying it up.

So yeah, we entered into a partnership with spotify they um have video only for like select podcasts and we have

selection and we're so excited and just like i feel like everything's coming up toast recently i love uh spotify's really doing the most with like they have a new comment section there and but only for actual listeners like i think spotify is doing the most i highly recommend watching us on spotify it's also super user friendly um but you can still watch on youtube of course nothing's changing just like more places for you to get toasty vibes and swirliness we are so excited to be doing this with Spotify.

Um, for what, like, the foreseeable future, you know, yeah, and you can like listen to music, then the toast is on, go stream toast, watch us, life of a show, girl, toast, life of a show, girl, toast.

No, no, toast drop, let me pause the album.

And my favorite thing about Spotify and listening to podcasts on Spotify is like, if I start listening on my phone and then, like, I get in my car, like it picks up from where I left off.

Also, I know a lot of swirlies like to watch us on TV, and it's so easy on the Spotify app if you have like an Apple TV or a Roku or whatever.

So, more places to see us being pargilicious, definitious, and premium high quality.

I should have like worked harder on my makeup today,

knowing that like we're now on video Spotify.

We're getting like 10 million streams.

But we're still going to be us.

We're still the same girl.

So I feel like you should still be felt.

Yeah, we're still fat and ugly.

Don't worry.

You should still be yourself, you know?

I need to stop speaking on behalf of both of us when I'm like insulting myself.

Right, because I got

a new set.

I'm on a weight loss journey.

Right, right, right.

Sorry.

Not me like bringing you down with me.

I got like a new maternity set from the gap.

and I've obviously lost a bit of weight.

So clearly I'm looking really good.

No, and it's a perfect day for you to launch on Spotify because this is probably the best you've ever looked.

Right.

The thinnest I've ever been.

Yeah.

That's my favorite joke about myself right now.

Me too.

Like I'm on a weight loss.

About myself.

I'm on a weight loss journey.

Me too.

Snatch season.

So needed to get that out of the way.

Let me cross that off my list.

Spotify, goodbye.

Now we can talk about yesterday, which was the holiest day of the year.

We were gone.

Sorry for being gone, but not sorry because we were struggling.

And let me tell you, I struggled.

I heard a bit.

What happened to you?

Oh my God, I was not okay.

So as you guys know, I spoke to the rabbi's wife and I was like, what do I do about breastfeeding and fasting?

And she was like, try to make it to one o'clock.

You can do little things like have a little bit of water.

And when me and Ben were on our way to synagogue, I actually read it to a girl in my lobby who I know from high school.

And she was like, are you breastfeeding, by the way?

And I was like, yeah.

She's like, be careful.

The last time I fasted while breastfeeding, I ended up in the hospital.

And I was like, wait, really?

And let me tell you, I understand how she ended up in the hospital.

I almost ended up in the hospital and I barely

fasted up until like you were fasting.

I was fasting, except I did have some water and like a little bit of yogurt.

Like I just needed to sustain.

I was like trying to be really measured.

I went to synagogue.

I get home.

I left synagogue and I was not feeling well.

I get home.

And if I made it home three seconds later, I would have died.

Like I got the most insane migraine.

I like could not see.

I was like seeing spots and I just had to like chug a water.

I had to break it.

I didn't even care.

I was so unwell.

And I guess I didn't realize like you really can get dehydrated like so quickly when you're breastfeeding.

Yeah.

I should have taken it more seriously, like the girl's warning in my lobby.

Like I just, I should have taken it more seriously.

So then you broke your fast and then you didn't fast the rest of the day?

I tried to like not be a slob and eat all day long.

Same I wasn't like sitting on the couch like eating bags of chips.

Like I tried to get eggs, like like whole foods like that were just to really nourish me.

Yeah, so by the time it came time to break fast, like I was pretty hungry, but I wasn't like dieting.

I could eat.

Yeah, I still had like two bagels.

I had one bagel, but I did have like breakfast.

But I tried to be just like breakfast, lunch, dinner, not like snacking.

Yeah, and not like indulgent.

Yeah, not just.

I still wanted to suffer.

Like the whole point of the day is to like really suffer, stripped down.

And you know what?

Let me tell you, I was suffering.

I had a terrible headache.

Yeah, I didn't get the Yom Kip headache, which was major for me.

I couldn't really handle that.

I would have had it for three days.

Obviously, I'm not going to take any pain relievers.

So it just would have been really bad.

So I felt good about that.

And then I tried to like not watch TV.

I just read instead.

Zach, I did watch a little TV because we started the new Love is Blind, but halfway through the episode, I was like, I don't feel like watching anymore.

And I went to bed.

He finished watching.

So I didn't really even watch TV yesterday.

I like read and I wasn't on my phone, which was a pleasure.

It was a pleasure.

Although like the food was hard staying off of my phone, like it's crazy how many times a day I like thought to pick up my phone.

Like it's truly an addiction.

No, I was so I had actually been looking forward to turning it off for 25 hours, knowing that like my loved ones were also turning theirs off.

So I wasn't missing the fam chat popping off because that's why I chat, that's why my phone buzzes all the time.

Like fam chat is going to fam chat.

Love your chat, fam.

Speaking of shows and you and Zach, I have a show for you to watch.

Last night Ben and I watched, only first two episodes are out, which is so fucking annoying.

But I don't know if you've heard about Glenn Powell's new show, Chad Powers.

I have.

I literally watched it.

I was like, Zach Weinreb will love this.

And it's like, you'll like it too.

Cause like Glenn is just cute and funny.

You have to watch it.

Like, it's such a husband and wife show.

I know he didn't set out to make a show like perfect for a husband and a wife, but Ben was cackling.

Like, it's so boy humor.

It's very like Adam Sandler-coated.

And I just liked it because I enjoy good stuff, but it's really for the boys.

Ben was dying.

Zach will love it.

Okay, great.

Well, now we're watching Love is Blind Colorado just started.

yeah it's out i think like the first three episodes at least uh i didn't even make it through the first one yet but people seem you know

cogent employed attractive love that no uggos

no i i mean i'm not gonna call someone ugly on the 11th day of the year after i've just said showing for like everything i've ever said and done And they also don't, that's like the problem with the show is like they don't cast people who are like crazy looking.

Yeah, yeah.

No, but I was actually,

in the 30 minutes that I watched, I was impressed with the level of employment like people have jobs so important that we like give employed people platforms Yeah, because that's also like that throws an interesting dynamic into the mix when you have some financial job like so it was giving heavily employed and I'm happy for that

and you're not gonna catch me talking about people's looks today after Yom Kippur.

No.

No, no, of course not.

The show is young.

So it was like a tough day, even though like I didn't fast.

I was really suffering the entire day, which I think is like kind of God's plan.

So I feel like I did what I was supposed to do, but just know like I was genuinely suffering.

And did you feel like you atoned for your sins?

Like did you pray hard?

I did.

I went to synagogue.

You know, I saw the girlies because everybody like, you know, shows up for synagogue.

And I saw like my bitches.

I mean, like, we were congregating like during breaks.

And it was so hard not to gossip.

Like, I can't lie, like, we did veer into gossip territory.

But we were acknowledging that it was wrong.

That's good.

The first step is acceptance.

A thousand.

Accepting you have a problem.

No, I definitely do.

That's really funny.

No, I got to pray.

They had actually really good like programming for the kids so that like the parents could like pray and say sikhod and like apologize, you know, because I couldn't have done that like with toddlers.

So no, um, I actually got like a lot of my prayers in, which felt really good.

Love that for you.

Yeah.

And I needed that to cleanse myself.

I, um,

if I may, just for the sake of like continuity, can I switch to the next thing on my list?

Yeah, sure.

That's a really continuous way to do it.

Okay.

Like, kind of me being so crazy.

Jackie alluded to this on the Patreon when she said I was quite literally moving in silence.

I moved.

I just wanted to tell everyone.

I didn't want to like make a big deal about it because everybody would be like, Are you moving to Florida?

No, I'm not.

I just moved.

Like, I need a little bit more space.

It's like not a big deal.

She actually is moving and she's going to keep moving and she's moving further and further away.

Yeah, I just moved like in the city.

It's like really not a big deal.

You know, Roadway crushed it.

I literally, while I was at the toast on monday they packed up my entire apartment in 35 seconds you know how they do they were so mama friendly like they were like they left the crib overnight they let me nurse in the other room like they were really i could tell like diego who um he was the manager of the move he he told me he has an eight-year-old like he was such a mama friendly mover um

and of course if you want to use my code girl with no job 10 it'll get you 10 off local moves five percent off long distance moves actually not to be annoying i people have been asking for my roadway code i'm just it's probably the most requested code i get from like yeah we've been working with roadway for years every move i've ever done has been with Roadway.

So studio, they just moved this studio too.

Yeah, they move everything.

So I'm really excited for you.

You want to tell us anything about the move or are you just going to like say that and move on?

Like, no, it's just like, it's not a big deal.

I moved.

Like, I'm kind of like living in limbo right now.

Um, there was a flood and like this new apartment's like not ready.

And I'm just like, you know, I'm so carefree, you know, that's you.

Me and my, me and my truck full of stuff.

Um, and Ben is now like, Ben's been houting me to like spend like a chunk of time in LA because like the good guys and it just like would make his life so much easier.

And he's like, this is like the, one of the last times we could ever do it.

Like Ruby's not in school and

like we, if we have a million kids, like we can't do it.

And Ben, like the apartment needs to be like painted.

He's like, let's go to LA.

I'm like, today?

He's like, no, let's go next week.

We'll stay for a month.

He's so LA.

I know.

I'm actually worried.

I'm actually down, except that like I'm genuinely worried about the person my husband will become.

Because Ben is like a toxic like stage mom, almost with me.

Okay.

He's like, we've got to get you out there.

Like going on an audition.

I'm like, okay, stop.

He's seriously like one of those toxic managers, like an Elvis.

Yeah.

Except he's not stealing from me that I know of.

And I worry about like what Ben will become.

But I also think he ever spent a significant amount of time in LA.

For Ben himself, because like good guy like Josh is in LA, like, well, it's going to be great for Ben.

And like, there's a lot of creators.

And like, he's always, he loves collaborating with fellow creators.

Like, that's one thing about him.

I think he's selling it to me as like, it'll be really good for the good guys.

And you're also going on maternity leave.

He's like, you could interview a lot of people.

It's so hard to book guests in New York.

He's really selling me on on it.

And I, like, I agree with him.

There's a lot of good reasons that we should go, especially now.

Like, it's probably one of the last times we could ever just like pick up and be carefree and spontaneous.

But

I just know like something bad's gonna happen.

Like, Ben is gonna get like hooked on Hollywood.

And he's gonna be like, there's gonna be a documentary.

There's gonna be a documentary about like Ben Saffer going to LA.

Ben Safer, celebrity, Ben Saffer, like crackhead.

Oh my gosh.

And like, I think also this might be like a gateway drug for him.

Like, not that you guys are ever gonna move to LA.

No, like, not in a real way.

Not in a, right, right.

Like, move for real.

Like, live.

Yeah.

Um, but I, I could see him trying.

He's just giving me a lot of good reasons.

Like, I don't,

I don't know what to say to him.

Like, our apartment is really not ready.

It's not super livable.

And it's, like, not great for rubes.

And, like, yeah, your maternity leave.

Like, I'm starting to book people in New York.

And let me tell you, it's bottom of the barrel.

No offense to everybody I booked.

I'm cracking.

There's just like not a lot of people.

Yeah.

Um,

and like, yeah, it would be great to see our partners at Dear Media, like all these things, but like I have to get up.

I don't know.

Well, one thing about me and you that's like different about us, we have a couple of core differences.

Yes.

One of those is that I love LA.

You don't.

You've never really taken to the city of angels.

But like when you tell me you're going to LA for a month, I'm like, as you should.

The annoying thing is that like you, if like you were coming, I would be so down.

I'd be like, yeah, let's all go.

Oh, well, let's all go anywhere.

Yeah, so like, your pregnancy is not great timing for me because, like, if we all went, that would be so much fun.

And then I would be like, so down.

That would be so fun.

Getting bigger.

I know.

I know.

I would be like office girls.

So, just like, if you catch me in LA, just like, don't ask.

Okay.

I'm just like trying to be a good wife.

I, and also, like, it's something that you should do like in

your life as a creator.

In my lifetime.

I know, I know.

It would be good for like the toast and for men and for the good guys.

Not that, like, you're like moving out of New York anytime soon or ever, like, by the way i would move out of new york like people like would you move to florida like probably not but like maybe i'm i'm not totally against it i would never full-time live in la well now you'll you'll find out i could just see you being taken with it it would be like downtown i know me and bed seriously you're gonna find us like on the side of the street like we've sold all of our you're gonna be like in front of the hollywood sign

literally no i'm actually really excited for you and i'm excited for the content and like the change of scenery i love you know i love change i love change of scenery like whom's a fresh i'm really excited Yeah.

And it's also getting really cold here.

And Ben keeps selling me on the weather.

And I'm like, what are you?

The weather man?

He's like, think of the weather.

I like it, but like the cold is a plus.

Oh, but also the air conditioning being out in my building and they're starting to do construction in the studio.

Like I'm telling you, Ben has not given me one good reason to say no.

And it's getting harder to podcast here with all like the plumbing issues.

So I might just need to like seriously hail Mary and fuck it, you know?

You totally have my support.

Thank you.

And you know, I can't make any decision, especially like a big life one without Jackie telling me.

So when I called her, I'm like, Ben wants us to move to LA for a while.

She's like, that's an amazing idea.

And I hadn't even thought about the maternity.

I work for Lish.

I'm saying.

By the way, recently, you've been a Lish op.

I know, but that's like, I think what's so great about me, because so often, like, people try to start stuff between me and Lish, like, thinking that, like, I'm coming for him or whatever.

But, like, no, like, sometimes I just, I don't have like,

I'm not so hard-headed.

Like, sometimes Lish and I were some patiko.

You've been taking Lish's side a lot, I just want to say, especially with the food processor

it's still in the box.

And the rider cup.

I sent you there.

And the sourdough.

Yeah, right.

I think a lot of people think you and Lish have beef because he copied your sourdough journey, although he does credit you 100%.

I will never, like, that's not beef worthy.

Yeah.

It's

Ben made two loaves.

Just wanted to tell you when he forgot to put salt in them.

Okay.

I didn't realize like how important of an ingredient salt was.

I was like actually eating paper

tastes.

The consistency was amazing.

And I said to Ben, is it possible that this loaf tastes like nothing?

He's like, oh my God, I forgot to put in salt.

Interesting.

Good to know that that's what happens.

Like you'll get a loaf that looks visually perfect.

It was his best loaf to date visually.

Oh my gosh.

It's tasteless.

Major strides.

Is he going to bring his bread supplies to LA?

That's another reason I don't want to go.

Like, I just don't want to have to deal with traveling.

Like, it's already hard to like get on a plane with a baby.

Now we also take your sourdough starter.

Seriously, no, I'm not going to take that.

Oh, I wonder if he'll take his starter.

And my breast milk.

Like,

yeah, we'll take your breasts.

I will be taking my breasts, but I'd also like to bring like a stash.

I looked into this company called Milk Stork.

Milk Stork?

Milk Stork?

Everybody said it's amazing.

It's $10 million.

They're like, but my work covers it.

So this is me asking if my work covers it.

If I could pay for it.

If I could just like ship like 100 ounces.

How much is it?

Like a lot of money, like $400 or $500.

Like, that's insane.

I guess you could put in to the finance department, see what they say.

Yeah, I'll see who they're doing.

I'll recommend

Great.

In terms of my list, that is it.

Okay.

Now feel free to just like Kiki, what's up?

What's, you know, what's up?

What's in with you?

Well, I finished my book.

Huge.

It wasn't very good, but I did finish it.

And it did sort of hook me, but like the protagonist was just god-awful.

So I just, I wouldn't really recommend it or anything, but I was proud to finish a book.

I got the new Kindle Color Soft gift.

What is that?

Color.

Hashtag gifted?

Hashtag gifted.

Yeah, Amazon sent it to me.

Oh, okay, Amazon.

I didn't get one.

I just want to say that.

Yeah, like we are influential.

We are like huge in the reading community and the tech space, and Amazon understands that.

So the new

color soft, you would actually like it because it's the shape of the oasis that you're always trying to get.

Okay, and so like the background is white instead of gray when you're reading.

Yeah, but also like when you're lock screen, they have like art on the lock and like there's colors.

But when you're reading, reading you don't need colors so right it's just black and white but like when you're on your homepage all the titles of books

so that's nice um i didn't like need it so bad but i like the shape of the oasis and i was using the scribe for a while so it was nice to go back to the smally would recommend if you're getting a kindle

yeah i remember like the first time i opened my kindle i was incredibly shocked that it was like analog

there's no color and when i would like recommend to people to switch to

kindle they'd be like, opening it.

Like, are you serious?

It's giving like Oregon Trail.

Even Oregon Trail had color.

And it is really crazy that we all just like, it's so old school, the Kindle, even though it's like the premium device.

And so it was time that they enter the color game.

Yeah, but I don't even think you need the colors.

And it's like, if you really want to like read on an LED screen, like you could use an iPad, but that's not even right.

Like you don't want the blue light.

I like the Kindle.

And you don't want the reflection.

You can't read on an iPad at the beach.

Yeah.

No, the Kindle, like, I know that it doesn't seem like much, but I think it's actually very well thought out.

It doesn't keep you up.

The light isn't really bright.

I think it's fab.

So I was excited to read and finish my book, but that's about it with Moi, self, with Jack's self.

Okay.

And then it's fried dairies, which is so exciting.

Oh, my God.

It's so not fried energy.

And I have like a lot to do today.

I bought some steaks the other day.

Okay.

I went to the kosher grocery.

I don't know.

I'm just like feeling like I need to be eating steaks.

It's good.

Everybody gets iron deficient during pregnancy.

Right.

Like Harry's been really into steaks.

So like, I'm like, let's make some steaks.

Growing boys.

So I have some steaks in the fridge.

I think I have to make steaks for dinner.

Okay.

We're having, I guess we're having steak for dinner.

Yeah.

And then, of course, I've got to make potatoes.

Oh, if you're making a steak, especially like a really juicy one, and you're not giving me it to me with like a side of creamy mashed potatoes where I could literally put a dollop, almost like sour cream, like a dollop of tater on every bite of steak, then don't make steak, honestly.

Yeah, so I think that's what's in store for me tonight.

Oh, I got to talk to my chef.

We like barely have a functioning kitchen, so

I have to make a Thanksgiving dinner in his dorm.

Literally.

I had one more thing.

What was my thing?

I don't remember.

Well, we have a lot to do stories-wise today.

Taylor, I can't believe we've been podcasting for 20 minutes.

Taylor Chef dropped a new album and we didn't talk about it.

it.

We mentioned in the beginning to say that we were going to mention, it's obviously the first story.

Also, we're all like just coming to ourselves here.

It's like not having been out for 12 hours.

Like, so we can only do so much with what we have.

And that's sort of my thesis.

So if you're ready to dive in, I would like to tell everyone to calm down.

I just want everyone to calm down.

You need to calm down.

Without further ado, do to do, here are the fast five stories that you to do need to know.

That is true.

And just if you'll give me a second, I'm with my list.

The fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by ATT.

Few things are better than when somebody's already on it, like ATT.

Staying connected matters.

That's why ATT has connectivity that you can depend on, guaranteed, or the proactively make it right.

No calls, no chaos, no, can I speak to a person, please, energy?

Just handled.

That's the ATT guarantee.

Terms and conditions apply.

Visit att.com slash guarantee for details.

And if you know how to spell guarantee, it's G-U-A-R-A-N-T-E-E for details.

It's kind of of misspelled like guarantee.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Byhart, the formula that answers.

So, Byhart is an infant formula company that's on a mission to make the best formula in the world.

Why don't more infant formula brands use the latest breast milk science?

Why don't more use organic, grass-fed whole milk instead of skim?

Why aren't more locally made right here in the U.S.?

Well, Byhart wondered the same thing.

By Heart is an infant formula company that's obsessed with nutrition.

Its next generation gentle recipe was designed to deliver clean ingredients, high-quality nutrition, and proven benefits all in one formula.

I like a lot of things about By Heart, obviously, organic, grass-fed, all that.

But I really like that they make one formula because I don't want options when it comes to a couple of things with my baby, and feeding is one of them.

It's so easy to get overwhelmed.

You don't really know the difference.

A lot of it is very high-level, and it's like hard to understand.

So, I really appreciate that they put their whole by hussy into one formula.

They said, We have one, it's the best one here.

I appreciate that being a parent is overwhelming enough.

Feeding, it can be really stressful.

If you're trying to breastfeed, you're not making enough breast milk, and then you supplement with formula and you want one that's closest to breast milk.

Um,

Buy Heart is apargiist, in my opinion.

And if you're curious about Buy Heart, head to buyheart.com, B-Y-H-E-A-R-T,

and use code Toast30 to save 30% off your first subscription order for a limited time.

Buy Heart is also available at Target, Walmart, and major retailers nationwide.

Check them out in stores today.

Additional terms and conditions apply.

Again, that code is T-O-A-S-T3-0.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Origins and their Utopia Apple Butter Cleansing Bomb.

So, Origins, which is the leader in plant-powered high-performance skincare, is expanding their Utopia collection with the new Apple Butter Cleansing Bomb.

So, if you're into the skincare space, specifically like skincare with clean ingredients, and you're definitely familiar with Origins, they're a leader in the space.

And their Youthtopia line is expanding.

The luxurious multi-phase formula starts as a buttery bomb, melts into a silky oil, and transforms into a rinsable milk.

It gently lifts away makeup, dirt, and impurities without stripping your skin.

It's infused with upcycled, cold-pressed apple seed oil, and it's formulated with over 40% derived plant oils and 20% plant-derived glycerin.

It keeps your skin soft, nourished, and glowing.

Plus, it smells like a juicy apple orchard.

It is perchie.

And when it comes to like removing the day from your face, a bomb is amazing, but sometimes they're really hard to wash off.

I like that it transforms from a bomb to a milk that rinses off really easily.

The Utopia line is Pargy.

We've talked about a lot of their products before.

And I love this apple butter cleansing bomb because, one, it smells so good.

And I do really like a cleansing bomb.

I think it's one of the most effective ways to wash your face.

Sometimes when you wash your face, though, and you want to like really get off the makeup, the dirt from the day, you're left with like this dry, crusty face.

It's like, yeah, all your makeup's off, but what do you have left?

Like three skin cells.

The way it leaves your face is really Pargy.

Discover the butter way to cleanse with Origins Utopia Apple Butter Cleansing Balm.

It's available now at origins.com and Ulta.

Thank you, Turta.

You're welcome, Jerta.

Our first story, Taylor Swift's album, The Life of a Showgirl, dropped last night, 12 songs.

Let's kind of go song by song.

Overall impression.

What are you thinking, Koji?

Okay, I just want to say song by song.

It's been 12 hours.

Everybody needs to calm the fuck down.

But if you have an initial impression of the melody, the lyrics, or the message, just let me know.

Sure.

Here's the thing.

I woke up and I didn't stay up till midnight because I went to bed at like 9.30 with a a full belly and a wide smile.

I woke up this morning to so much hate.

Hate, hate, hate from the album.

Like even from like true Swifties, like everybody's hating it.

So my expectations when I tuned in were hella low.

I don't know what the hell everyone's talking about.

It's a good album and I've listened to it one time in full.

Like how much time do you bitches have?

Like I was expecting like such a piece of shit, like the way people were describing it.

Even like true stands, who's like names are Swifty's

13.

Swiftylicious 13.

Like, I love your licious, Swifty.

Swifty.

So I was like, wow, she's finally flopped.

Like, everybody said it's bad.

My God, what the hell are you bitches talking about?

Some of the shit people like from other artists.

Like, oh, my God, crap.

This is so good.

Like, it's a good album.

And I haven't really even had time to fully digest it lyrically, sonically.

I was walking to work.

popping my pussy.

Like, what the hell are you guys talking about?

Yeah, I do think I agree with you.

Like, compared to what other people are putting out these days, like, she's not comparable.

I'm comparing Taylor to Taylor, if that's fair.

Also, I feel like kind of like a bigger Swifty than you today because, like, I like you did more work than me.

I woke up immediately, started listening.

Like, I'm sorry, I've moved.

My husband wants me to move across the country.

I have a four-month-old.

Like, can I get a minute?

No.

Oh, man, there's so much pressure.

I feel this always with Taylor albums.

Yeah, I felt pressure to like

do the song.

It's been 30 seconds and have an opinion just to have something to say on the show today because today is such a big day.

But I do hope that by Monday I have new things to say.

Same.

My overall impression are there are a couple of standout songs to me that I'm like, this is fun.

I like this.

Same.

This is a new message.

So like the fate of Ophelia is actually really adorable because the fate of Ophelia, I think she commits suicide.

But she's saying how Travis saved her from the fate of Ophelia, like with his love and his energy and his exuberance.

Yes, I like it too.

And I, not to make everything about us, it does feel like a toast episode and specifically a clip of ours that went viral about how like her life was so sad with Joe.

Like if you listen to even my favorite song, Peace, it's like, girl, it's not that deep.

Like, you're pretty and rich and skinny.

Like, be happy.

Yeah.

Everything was so sad and so serious.

And Travis just like totally removed that whole element from her life.

Like, and it's literally that TikTok sound.

You know, but it never was that serious.

Like, I do feel like it was extremely toast-coated, but I make everything about myself.

And so, I like the song.

I like the beat and I liked the message.

And it felt like she was like saying something new that we haven't heard before, like a fresh, a fresh take.

So, that was a standout for me for sure.

Agreed.

and a great opener for the album so when i heard that first i'm like what is everyone talking about it's a good song yeah

then elizabeth taylor which the most memorable thing about it is that it sounded exactly like our prediction don't worry like i will be clipping that today side by side of me accurately yeah saying elizabeth taylor elizabeth taylor like literally me but beyond that um nothing else stuck with for me it was giving um evelyn hugo which is like very elizabeth taylor coded

yeah sure

I just think that Taylor, and this is a theory of mine, I think Taylor, that's Taylor's favorite book.

You'll have to ask.

Champagne Problems is totally about that song.

I think a lot of people, like, obviously, like, the galer of it all, thinks that Taylor and Carly.

And, like, I think Taylor, like, loves that book.

Yeah, I mean, who doesn't?

Like, even if she didn't relate to it, like, if she, as long as she's read it, she's loved it.

Yeah.

Opalite was actually one of my favorites.

I don't know what the streets are saying about it.

Oh, and also, that's another thing why I feel like I'm like such a

positive Swifty days.

I haven't read any commentary

from like Twitter, Instagram.

I haven't seen anyone's opinions.

These are only my opinions.

And then eventually, I didn't know that people are saying that it's a flop or anything.

I really wanted to experience it on my own.

So like I opened Twitter and it was like trending Taylor Swift album divided reviews.

So all statements are my own.

Retweets are not endorsements.

I agree.

Opalite is my favorite so far.

It's also the one that I've seen on TikTok.

Like the sound is going viral.

It has like a real pussy popping element to it.

Love.

And it's not about Kelly Taylor and the ring she gave her, unfortunately.

No, it's not.

It's just about Taylor's self, which we love,

to learn self.

And she quotes her mom, like not Andrew Swift constantly being an older.

And her brother eating from the trash.

Oh, I loved that.

But maybe she learned of the color of opalite from the ring that Kelly gave her and then said the sky is like opalite.

Yeah, maybe like it just sparked an interest in the stone.

Okay.

uh next father figure which i personally want to group with eldest daughter is like two randoms agreed by the way they kind of blend into one another too when you're listening to them and actually father figure just stood out to me because i'm like who is this about um now i asked our swifty chat and the theory is olivia rodrigo

yeah um and i think taylor has a lot of music about olivia rodrigo that she blankets in um

talking about like the future of the music industry.

There's always someone younger, hotter, better, but she's really talking about Olivia Rodrigo.

Yeah, this is about like someone who reminded her of her.

She tried to be nice to her.

She mistook her kindness for weakness.

You have a lot of potential, but like go fuck yourself.

Yeah, now the only irony here, oh, and it's in a song that she's sampling, right?

And Olivia Rodrigo's Tale and Taylor's whole big thing was that some of the songs on

Olivia Rodrigo's album like sampled or referenced illegally and then she had to end up paying Taylor's trip And that's why the two aren't friends anymore, or like literally they're enemies.

And so, that's a song Father Figure, where she samples George Michaels' father figure.

So, yeah.

Yeah, but I just want to say, whatever happened between them is so much more than the New Year's Day fiasco, because, like, that was just like bad business, whatever.

But what she's saying in this song, like, it's much more personal.

And I think it is for both of them.

Like, I think they both fucking hate each other.

Yeah.

Eldest daughter, I don't remember.

That was a weird one for me.

And that was like a track five, which I think people put so much pressure on.

Taylor has historically put her like deepest, most all-too-well, like most serious.

And then Eldest Daughter, you know, it sounds like, and it didn't sonically sound like what I thought it would sound like, given the title.

Or say.

What did it say?

I don't remember.

I don't remember either.

And I'm just going off of my memory,

which just will go to show you what's memorable.

Ruin the Friendship was not at all about what anyone thought it was going to be about.

Like, it was obviously giving Telly Taylor, Blake Lively, but it's about like a boy.

Yeah,

I don't remember.

It's like about I should have kissed you, even though you had a girlfriend.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Spicy.

Spicy.

Then actually, romantic, which people are thinking is a digga Charlie XTX.

It's not thinking, like, it literally is.

Explain.

They speculated before, given the title.

I think actually Romantic, I don't remember exactly how is like a reference to Charlie XXX.

So people thought this was going to be a diss track.

And then you listen to it and it's literally a diss track.

She basically calls her co-core.

Like, like it was so crazy um charlie xdx like has been very outwardly critical of taylor um there like there's beef there on charlie's side um charlie went on and opened for taylor on one of the biggest tours ever the reputation tour and then quickly after like said something really like rude about it in an interview claiming that she felt like she was performing for five-year-olds um okay and she's also like very much team maddie and gabriette that's her best friend then then right then there was this um big photo shoot she did with like a severed hand and the hand had friendship bracelets on it.

And yes, of course, Taylor Schwift didn't invent friendship bracelets, but in the context of cultural music,

it was weird.

Right after that, Charlie, Taylor was actually asked about Charlie and she said something really glowing.

It was actually really smart of Taylor because that was like during the height of

Brat.

And it would just not have been smart for her to, Taylor's already accused of like not being a woman who supports other artists.

So like it would have just been bad.

So Taylor said something like amazing about her songwriting.

But then there is the Charlie XTX actually just got married, but she's been with him for a while to a member of the 1975.

She's best friends with Gabriette, who's Matty Healy's fiancé.

So it's always been like connected in that way.

But Taylor had not responded negatively to her ever since then until this song.

And it references Sympathy as a knife, which is a song people think Charlie wrote about.

Taylor and I've been ready for Taylor to say something about it because I don't ride with Charlie XTX and I ride with Taylor.

And I think that ever I have not liked Charlie XTX ever since that reputation thing.

It was like such a rude comment because yeah, Charlie's big right now, but she was working hard for many years.

And Taylor was extremely generous in letting her open for her on the reputation tour.

I didn't really feel like it was a good match, honestly.

So actually, and then to go back and say something nasty, especially about Taylor's fans, which Taylor takes so personally.

But also, that just reflects poorly on you.

You've just alienated yourself from like millions of people.

But so in the song, she's kind of saying like, you're kind of in love with me.

It's actually romantic, like how like obsessed with me you are.

Right.

It's giving like, why are you so obsessed with me?

When I was was listening to it, I assumed it was about like a man and I thought it was Maddie Healy, but it's kind of the same thing.

It's kind of the same thing, but it's about for sure about Charlie.

She's not even trying.

I feel like she doesn't even try anymore with like the girls that she hates to like, like, you know,

the letters Kim spelling out in Thank You, Amy.

She doesn't, like, she's not trying to hide anymore.

That was weird.

It was weird when she made those letters.

Like, we know, we listened to the song.

Like, you're talking about a girl with a lot of sisters.

Like, we know.

And

next song actually is another title with some dollar signs wishlist and people are saying um wishlist and canceled are two of the worst songs on the album i haven't decided which songs i think are the worst i'll let you know those were not my worst uh what i want to say about wishlist is um it was it was like a weird listening experience there were highs and lows but what i got from it what i got from it was that she wants to have a lot of kids and like the surrogates do any day right a lot of people think like now she's singing about wanting a house with a basketball in the driveway Like you could have a basketball court, but okay.

That's so cute.

You could have like a full court press out back.

You don't need to put it like on your garage, but okay.

Literally full court press.

And like all courts.

You can have it.

Yeah, right.

But

they're going to have kids, Claudia.

That's what she said.

Of course they are.

We know they are.

No, but we've been unsure at times what that's what.

I don't know how it fits in with her schedule.

But she said like she wants a gaggle of them.

Obsessed.

So that's what I took away from wish list.

Yeah, love that.

Then wood.

Double entendre.

Yeah, it was actually, I liked how she went out with wood because it was about like, I don't have to knock on wood.

Like I don't have to like worry.

And Jane's, oh, hope that doesn't happen.

Like, you know, I can just enjoy because it's very like a superstitious thing, knock on wood.

Yeah, I think we were all like, what does wood mean?

How is wood being used in a song?

Is it like a tree or a penis?

And yes, I agree.

It being knock on wood, I love.

Yeah, but I do think she could have called it like knock on wood and it would have been less confusing, but I I think she wanted a song called Wood.

Yeah.

And she's funny like that.

That's like Travis's influence, like, ha ha, wood, you know,

totally.

And that song people are saying sounds like Jackson 5.

Is that what the streets are saying?

Yeah.

So what the streets are saying, which is like not great for Taylor, is that there's two songs on the album that really sound a little too similar to other songs.

They're saying that Wood sounds like a Jackson 5 song and that the Sabrina Carpenter song sounds like cool by the Jonas Brothers.

And

which wouldn't be a big deal because a lot of songs sound like other songs, but you know, Taylor, we were just talking about like Olivia Rodrigo.

Like, she's a credit queen.

She's queen of credit,

queen of credit.

So I don't know how that's going to pan out.

What's the Jackson 5 song?

I forgot.

Because

I'm usually pretty good at hearing songs within other songs.

It's kind of like a Jonas Brothers cool.

I didn't hear it, but I will listen again.

But it is kind of a special skill of mine.

So I'll let you guys know where it lands on the

radar.

Then we have canceled, which I liked elements of.

Yeah, I've heard people saying it sucks.

Really?

And I like the line, all my friends are canceled.

Literally saying it.

No, and also like, and I like you better if you're canceled.

Yeah, you're complex.

You've been through things.

But it's interesting that she puts this out now and that this is her feeling on her friends being canceled when like Blake Lively's going through it.

Right, right.

There was not a lot of Blake Lively here.

At least how I experience it in this moment.

Yeah, unless I think I saw like a publication speculate that Ruin the Friendship was about her.

But it's about kissing a boy.

Why would she be kissing Blake Lively?

Anyways, canceled.

It was, there were highs and lows.

There were moments of joy.

There was a couple lyrics that were my favorite.

It sounded like a little bit, Look What You Made Me Do.

Which I love.

Yeah, but when I remember when I first heard Look What You Me Me Do, i was like what and that's the thing people don't understand taylor's constantly like doing new things that we're not used to so when you hear it the first time it sounds weird and bad but then it becomes like the standard for other people in the music industry so like your first listen to a taylor album is never really an accurate

review I agree with that because a lot of times like she's doing new things

right I don't feel like on this album she's really doing new things I don't think she would say she's doing new things this like they said on new heights like this is banger season it's blank space, it's Max Martin, it's pop music.

I don't think that's something that it's like, oh, well, you just don't get it yet.

No, so here's the thing.

And I think what a big mistake was, like,

I think Travis like really overhyped the album in a sense of like

his

taste, right?

Like we know he loves the Max Martin 1989.

Blank Space is his favorite song.

It's the most commercially pop song.

So when we heard Max Martin was back on the album and Travis is obsessed with it, and it's so Travis, and it's bangers.

They said banger season.

It,

I think it just put into everyone's minds like a different version of what this album was going to be.

And that doesn't mean that this album is not as good.

It's just not what we thought it was going to be.

I feel like it was a little misleading.

Agreed.

And something else that's been misleading is the fact that I don't know what the title of the album has to do with the album because this was not what I was expecting about the life of a showgirl, especially as she described it on New Heights, like all about like the behind the scenes when you go behind the curtain.

Like I thought we were going to get like 12 versions of I Could Do It with a Broken Heart.

Like to me, I can do it with a broken heart is like the epitome of the life of a showgirl.

And I thought we were going to get like

takes on that, but this is more about like her new relationship, love that stuff, like some of the friendship stuff, you know, just like some.

industry stuff, not really anything about the error store except this song with Breener, which I listened to once and I loved.

And it's called Life of a Showgirl.

Yes, agreed.

That's a really good song, too.

That's a good point.

I guess the Life of a Showgirl isn't like a bad name for the album,

except that she said it's really about behind the scenes of the Eras tour, which now I feel like I maybe need to re-listen.

And all of these are just preliminary thoughts.

If you guys don't agree, that's fine.

Our thoughts are subject to change.

And my faves now are going to be different, and things that I didn't like are going to hit me different.

So all subject change.

We're going off of initial thoughts.

Like we're just doing a show 12 hours after the album dropped.

Like, let us live.

Give me a break.

I've only been here for two fucking days.

Yeah, so it does, like, the life of a showgirl, just the five words, does feel all-encompassing.

She is a showgirl.

She's got a public life, a personal life.

And so, yeah, but she has said now, like, many times, that it's about like pulling the curtain behind this big tour.

I need to re-listen, honestly.

Like, it's just too early.

Yeah, but I wasn't getting a sense of the life of a showgirl from this album, but I like all the imagery and the concept for the album.

So, like, go off.

But the songs just like didn't feel

like that we have also gotten so much imagery like she obviously did either like one big photo shoot with like a million alpha changes or like a thousand different photo shoots we've gotten so many images so many alternative covers so many vinyls and i just want to say every picture i've seen and i keep seeing pictures on twitter i've never seen before every one is better than the one she chose just saying and when she explained why she chose this one i really gave grace because she was like okay it's about the bathtub not on stage not as a show right but considering the album has very little to do with like the showiness, like she could have chosen really any picture.

I also just think like our level of critique is so crazy right we everyone holds tailored to like the highest standards i've never the bath like we're so in the weeds here like in the minutia

we let i know but we just let other artists get away with such like average joe behavior yeah agreed but like we don't hype them up or talk about them like as much as we do her like with great power comes great responsibility like it's all agreed at this high level um

which is why no one else puts out an album on the day she's like you know what i mean like we cleared the decks so it's true um the other song that we didn't mention right before life of a show girl is honey

um i haven't i can't lie i don't even remember what song it is like it's all so new here it was like you could call me honey because i'm your honey honey like seriously call us on monday like

yeah call monday um those are initial thoughts and hopefully we get more just like imagery did the music video come out i feel like probably did it oh but the the movie theater thing Oh, lyric video.

I must have missed the lyrics.

And she went on Graham Norton.

I didn't get a chance to watch it.

She said she's having a big wedding.

She shared a couple of anecdotes.

Of course, she was just being her swirly self.

She drank two glasses of wine.

A san terre, if anybody's wondering.

Yummy.

Yeah, she's an alfresco sancheri kind of girl.

Yum oh.

Yum oh.

So that's t Loas Day.

Yeah, I don't feel like today is T Loas Day.

Like, I really feel like Monday is.

I'm gonna take like a couple of walks over the weekend, really put in the work.

I added Opalite and Breener to my liked.

Um, Opalite and Ophelia, and I'll add Ophelia too.

I really liked that, um, the message.

I really, I care about the lyrics.

I'm not just a surfix lyrics kind of person, no, neither am I, especially because she cares about the lyrics.

So, like, she, you better be listening.

She's not just saying, do wop, you know?

Doop.

Doop.

Not to Shade Hansen.

I didn't mean for them to catch a stray in this conversation.

They ate down with that song.

Because sometimes when the melody's so good, we don't give a fuck about the lyrics.

So true.

Like some of the worst songs, some of the best songs have three words.

Yeah.

Like Gangam style.

Correct.

Just like Gangam style.

So tune in on Monday for like an even deeper expose.

Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story?

Mm-hmm.

The story of Lori.

Lori lost.

I was so shocked.

This was the first thing I saw when I opened my phone.

I was like, I wonder what big news broke while I was off my phone during Yom Kippur.

I was not expecting this devastation.

Lori Laughlin and Massimo Jila newly separate after nearly 28 years of marriage.

I stand with Lori.

I don't know what happened, but I'm team Lori.

Of course.

I'm upset about this.

They've obviously been through a lot together, 28 years, two children, what seemed to be a little bit of a.

Yeah, like never wavered.

um

you just you hate to see it like

especially on the heels of like keith and nicole and i didn't even know that like we had to worry about these two that this was even

an option i don't like it i don't like it either i'm extremely um shocked really because i don't know how you make it through something as tough as the college admission scandal which seriously was now in hindsight like so blown out of proportion like literally she went to jail how you get through all of that and like now it's over now it's easy yikes Unless there's like resentment, unless you don't want to like admit defeat until, you know, because people would always say it was about that and they got to them.

Right, right.

Maybe that's that.

I don't know.

Or

not to sound like I always do, but I mean it differently this time.

Like I actually, I feel like they might come back together.

No, I don't.

I actually don't feel that way at all.

They are living apart right now.

There are no legal proceedings underway.

Well, there's a lot of money there.

People don't realize that her husband is a illionaire.

Like all the clothes at Target are made by him.

Massimo.

Massimo.

He's so rich.

Yeah.

I hope Olivia is doing okay.

Yeah.

Obviously she's been going through this like the last few months.

Right.

Cemetered with her own relationship troubles.

Like.

Correct.

I feel like people are just like not even thinking about her.

Oh, one thing about me, I'm always thinking about Olivia Jade.

One thing at us.

I'll hear a story and I'll say, how does this affect Olivia Jade?

I just feel like people just see her and they just like, they don't worry, but I worry about my girl.

She's been through a lot.

No, and actually like your parents getting getting divorced later in life is low-key harder to go through.

Very destabilizing.

Yes, than like a teenager.

Kids just like bounce back.

You know, you figure it out.

Yeah.

Oh, look, I got two, you know, stuffed animals for mom's house and dad's house.

Like, you figure it out.

Yeah.

It's hard at any time.

As an adult, and then you're like having like your own romantic endeavors.

It is destabilizing.

That's a perfect word.

Yeah.

Changes how you see the world.

Right.

Like everything you thought you knew.

Maybe you didn't know.

Correct.

So just like really brokenhearted about this, really not much else to say.

No tea as of yet.

Hopefully there's none.

Hopefully she doesn't go home and call her daddy.

And tell everyone that Massimo's penis is

crooked.

That's what we call a self-reference.

Devastating, just truly devastating.

Yes.

Are you ready for our next story?

If it's our next story, that's brought to you by A ⁇ T.

A and T.

A T and T.

You know what's honestly elite?

When someone just has your back without you having to say a word.

Like when your husband actually puts the dishes in the dishwasher, not just near it, or when your friend brings you an ice coffee because you looked like you were having one of those days.

That's the energy ATT is bringing with the ATT guarantee.

It's all about keeping one step ahead because staying connected matters.

That's why in the rare event of a network outage, ATT will proactively credit you for a full day of service.

That means a full day of service automatically.

No calls, no forms, no how I'd like to speak with someone.

It's just done.

It's handled like a queen.

Whether you're video calling your mom, mom, texting your group chat about something extremely niche, or you're doom scrolling on TikTok at 2 a.m., ATT knows that those connections matter.

And that's why they guarantee their network.

If it ever drops, they're already on it.

The ATT guarantee.

ATT, connecting changes everythings.

Credit for fiber downtime lasting 20 minutes or more, or for wireless downtime lasting 60 minutes or more caused by a single incident impacting 10 or more towers.

Must be connected to impacted tower or onset outage of outage.

Restrictions and exclusions apply.

See ATT.com/slash guarantee for full details.

Today's episode is also brought to you by AGZ.

So I know lots of peeps are into AG1,

specifically my husband.

Like seriously, you should see him when he can't get his AG when he's not well.

Well now they're introducing AGZ.

Since 2010, they've focused on delivering AG1 to support a strong nutritional foundation.

Now 15 years later, they're innovating on another foundational need that's essential for whole body health, and that's sleep.

Rest should never be an afterthought, which is why they developed AGZ.

It's a nightly drink for winding down and resting up with clinically studied key ingredients at amounts

supported by research, including adaptogens, herbs, and minerals.

AGZ is a melatonin-free formula that supports the body's natural sleep cycle.

Each AGZ delivers 250 milligrams of highly bioavailable magnesium, providing over half of your daily value.

So it helps you wind down, gives you restful sleep, and helps you wake refreshed with antioxidants, including saffron, which will help you wake feeling refreshed, not groggy.

So a lot of like support

when it comes to sleep products either don't keep you awake the full night, they make you feel terrible in the morning, and AGZ is just backed by pargy ingredients.

It compares so much better to melatonin, melatonin, just taking magnesium, different teas.

It's really pargy.

If you're ready to turn down the stress and focus on the rest, head to drinkag1.com/slash toast to get a free frother with your first purchase of AGZ.

That's drinkag1.com/slash toast.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Quince.

Cooler days call for layers.

That last, and Quince is our go-to for quality essentials that feel cozy, look refined, and don't blow your budget.

So think $50 Mongolian cashmere, premium denim that fits like a dream, and Luxe outerwear that you'll wear year after year.

These are the pieces that'll turn your fall, that'll turn into your fall uniform.

And I'm kind of eyeing like a Pargy coat, and I went shopping for a coat.

It's like staggering the cost of a coat these days, like a nice wool coat, a cool trench.

Well, Quince has designer level

quality, but a fraction of the price.

The quality is just as good, if not better.

Quince does this by partnering directly with top-tier factories.

They use ethical manufacturing.

They cut out the middleman and then deliver the luxury quality pieces at half the price of similar brands.

It's the kind of wardrobe upgrade that feels smart, stylish, and effortless.

Find your false staples at quince.com slash toast for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

Now available in Canada.

That's q-u-in-ce-e.com slash toast to get free shipping and 365-day returns.

Quince.com toast.

Everything I've ever gotten from Quince's pargelicious definition.

I have cashmere sweaters.

I'm going to get a coat.

It's that season, and I just like need a bigger coat and I don't want to spend a lot of money.

Quince.com/slash toast, that'll get you free shipping and 365-day returns.

I know we are huge in Canada, and Quince obviously tapped us to let our Canadian followers know.

Quince is now available in Canada.

Head to quince.com slash toast, free shipping and 365-day returns.

Thank you, Tins.

You're welcome.

Our next story, some podcasting news.

The Golden Globe Awards unveil their top 25 list of podcasts eligible for the inaugural audio award, and there is drama.

Okay, I didn't even hear about this.

Guests were not eligible.

So, yes, they put out a list of the top 25 podcasts that are eligible, and

there's drama about it.

And then from there, six will be nominated for a Golden Globe.

And this is very big for the industry.

This will be like the biggest recognition of podcasting

in the award show.

And they're very excited to spotlight talent blah blah blah now people were wondering how were they going to even know what to nominate for the podcast awards and they had said originally that they would look at like the top 25 podcasts so you would think like apple charts spotify charts like right the charts well

The podcasts were drawn exclusively from a curated list of top 25 podcasts and the list of the top 25 podcasts is determined by Luminate, which is an entertainment data and analytics company using proprietary methodology methodology designed to objectively evaluate podcasts based on metrics, including audience reach and financials.

What the rules did not mention is that Luminate is owned by Penske, which owns the Golden Globes.

So they're making their list.

Wait, why is that bad?

Like, it's objective.

It's subjective.

Sorry.

Like, it's not that...

taking like the top 25 most popular on Apple and Spotify, which are a little different because some shows are Spotify exclusive,

and like going with the top 25 podcasts and then picking six from there, they're telling us what the top 25 podcasts are.

Yeah, but that's because it's their award.

Yeah.

But then I don't think that's so bad.

I don't think it's so bad.

Also, I will say, I think the list is pretty fair.

There's not like.

Right, give me the list.

Let me see.

Aside from the toast, like there's not really any glaring absences, I don't think.

2020 from ABC News, I'm going to say like no to that.

Okay.

Like you have a TV show.

Yeah, it's like regurgitated news.

48 hours from CBS News.

Okay, those two are bad.

Okay.

The rest.

Like, I'm sorry, that sounded like a podcast.

No, sorry.

Yeah, those two are not indicative.

Okay.

Okay.

Armchair expert.

Deserves.

Call her daddy.

Deserves.

Candice.

She's top.

She's the devil.

Continue.

She's top.

Crime junkie.

Deserves.

Dateline NBC.

Ah, get out of here.

Like, if you're owned by a network, like, you're not a podcast.

I can't what you mean.

You have a TV show.

Like, get out of here.

Good hang with Amy Poehler.

Okay.

She gets like everything, even though she's literally been podcasting for five minutes.

Five minutes.

Yeah, okay.

Continue.

Yeah, but it deserves though.

Her shit's good.

Morbid.

Deserves.

Mr.

Ballin podcast.

Strange shark and familiar stories.

Unfamiliar, but that doesn't mean it's not deserved.

Yeah, agreed.

Pardon my take.

Deserves.

Pod Save America.

Deserves.

Rotten Mango.

Unfamiliar.

Unfamiliar, but happy for you.

Yeah.

Sean Ryan show.

Okay, he's always in these little rally scenes.

Never heard of him.

I don't know.

Smartless.

Not deserved.

You're fucking kidding me.

These nobodies.

Let me tell you, there is a definition of deserved, but fuck them.

Yeah.

Stuff you should know.

Yep.

Feels right.

Ben Shapiro Show.

Yep.

Bill Simmons podcast.

Yep.

The Daily.

Of course.

Okay, even though that's, I'll make an exception for like Media Cup, like ABC, NBC get out of here although like everybody watches listens to the daily

different with that It's not just like the new like yes, it's owned by the New York Times, but like it is a podcast It's original.

They do good.

They do good.

Joe Rogan

is finally getting his flowers from mainstream.

They love

if they left him off like this would be a joke.

So I do feel like whenever they make podcast lists, it's an indicator whether or not they put him on because whether you like him or dislike him, you cannot deny that he's the number one extremely powerful force in the podcasting.

So to leave him off, like then you're making it political.

So it's like, that doesn't, it's arbitrary.

What's the best?

Yeah, you don't have to give him the award, but like you have to include him.

You do.

Megan Kelly.

You have to include.

Mel Robbins.

Yeah, of course.

Sister got in there, you know?

Yeah, good for Mel.

Came out of nowhere.

Literally.

Like, everyone's talking about Mel Robbins, like, since when?

Tucker Carlson.

Theo Vaughn.

Yeah.

Up first from NPR.

Sure.

I feel like that's unnecessary.

Actually, show me their logo.

Is it like so classic?

The logos aren't on here.

And now I just want to go to the podcast shows and see if anything that I didn't mention is like so obviously missing.

Yeah, like from just the top 25 shows.

But yeah, that feels pretty right.

And from there, we'll get our top six.

So it like daily crime junkie joke.

By the way, they literally just pulled

every single from, okay, like

some of these are top because they're trending.

Like if they recently launched, or like if they had a big episode, that doesn't mean I've never seen Sean Ryan before, but now I'm noticing him.

Right.

Yeah, like that feels right.

It feels fair.

You know what?

I'm pleasantly surprised.

They could have like swapped out a couple things for other things.

Like, of course, the toast could have been there, but like, I guess it's not like shocking that we're not going to get a golden globe this year.

We'll just have to work harder next year.

We will figure it out.

Yeah, we'll be okay.

I don't even want a golden globe, Koji.

Yeah, I'll take one because I wouldn't fit on the shelf with my chip.

There's no space for it.

If we ever got actually nominated, it would ruin us because we would have nothing to talk about because all we talk about is like how everybody leaves us out.

And like the chip just like keeps us grinding.

It's so true.

Like, why do you get up in the morning?

I have a chip.

Right.

If we had like just awards on the shelves, like, what's the motivation?

I have to put food on the table for my chip.

I put chips on the table.

Are you ready for our next story?

Exciting trailer news.

Kardashians, season seven trailer dropped.

Rob makes a return.

Caitlin makes a return.

Now, maybe they have a great trailer maker, but it looks like a great trailer.

Their trailers always look good, I want to say.

I am really into the Kardashians recently.

It was like the perfect show for pregnancy.

Although

them tapping in Caitlin and Rob does feel like a recession indicator.

Like they literally had nothing else to do.

Like

giving desperate, even though I'm so fucking here for it.

Yeah.

The thing for me is, like, Rob doesn't really do it for me.

Me neither.

I actually like not seeing him because I feel like it makes it better for him.

And I don't mean that in like a hater way.

Like, I don't like him or anything.

Like, when he's seen and stuff, like, it doesn't move me at all.

Like, I want what's best for him.

He was never like the entertainment value of the show.

So, like, I just hope he's well.

Yep.

Like, I love Caitlin.

I think she's hysterical.

She is very funny.

And I think she's a value add.

And I hope that like everyone can get along.

Me too.

She also like puts Chris like on her ass.

So it's a great, it's a great dynamic.

It really is.

And I do feel like they underutilize her.

And like, she's funny.

And there's also a lot of drama there because I always forget that like she really still maintains a very good relationship with Kylie and Kenny.

Of course.

And it's it's really so complicated between all of them, like the stepdad of it all, the Chris of it all, and then his, her, sorry, her biological children.

Like

it's really complicated and actually makes amazing family dynamic tv and i do really wish that they all could get along i feel like they are a very forgiving family they have forgiven a lot they've you know chris is always the first to forgive tristan china right so like like

Yeah, no, I do feel like it is Caitlin's time.

Like, I'm here for it.

No, she's so hysterical.

I'm like, I'm really excited to see her.

But also, the show trailer in general like looks really good.

I feel like we haven't gotten as much from them, like, public facing.

And I'm sure there's always stuff going on behind the scenes.

And I feel like they're going to be some bigger storylines.

Like, of course, like, you know, Glenn Close, like, him dropped to Chris's house.

Like, I'm not, I'm not.

Oh, for me, I'm like, no, that's Filler.

No, not Glenn Close.

That's Filler, like, talking about the new Ryan Murphy show.

Okay.

Yeah, that's Filler.

But, like, Chloe and Courtney are fighting.

One's not being positive.

Love.

Always interesting.

Yeah, especially because I do feel like my stance has changed too.

Like, I used to just be like, Courtney's wrong, Courtney's annoying, but no, we're in our

Courtney eras.

Courtney has also been vindicated quite a bit.

So, like, the Dolche Gabbana stuff.

But I also want to say, it doesn't mean she was right back then.

Like, just because she is right now

doesn't like she could have been wrong then and right now.

And, like, sometimes you're right up until a point and then you become wrong.

I feel like that's what happened with Kim.

Like, I really back when, you know, if you had a business, you would know what it's like.

I really like rode with Kim.

And I, but no, and Kim was right.

But then I do think, like, Kim took it too far.

And then, like, Courtney start, like, her points started to have merit.

Agreed.

And we're just like in our Courtney eras now.

Yeah, totally.

So that's very exciting.

It premieres this month.

And I'm going to watch.

You know, I love reality TV.

And like we said, I love your shows, Hulu.

Like Hulu is reality TV gold.

Hulu's eating it up.

Three cheers for Hulu.

Yummy.

Yummy, yummy in my tummy.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story, which is just some more reality TV news that I am going to to find interesting, but so are you, because you did watch the show way back when these allegations are coming out.

So, Real House Eyes of Miami drama.

Reunion aired.

And Julia dropped the bombshell revelation that she slept with Adriana Damora.

Are you kidding?

The Hamptons, which I know you watched those episodes.

Of course they did.

They were being so weird.

Yeah, so they have had a falling out all season long.

They were like the best of friends on the show.

Obviously, it was Adriana's show.

I think she like introduced Julia to the cast.

And then over the last year, Julia has become friendlier with Alexia, who's more neutral.

And Marisol hates Adriana and Adriana hates her.

And Adriana has said, like, ever since she became friends with the cool girls, like, she doesn't like me anymore.

And this and that.

They had asked, Andy asked Adriana.

Julia at the reunion, like if Adriana was ever in contention to be a godmother to Julia's sons, who she just adopted with Martina.

And she said, no.

Adriana said, that's like the deepest dagger in my heart.

When they were trying and they needed somebody to vouch for them, I did it not once, but twice.

So she was very much a part of the journey of the kids

joining the family.

And Adriana starts to say, I feel like when Julia started to be friends with Alexia and Marisol, that she kind of left me high and dried.

So she's making it about that.

And then Julia says, well, Adriana and I did sleep together in the Hamptons.

In shock.

One time.

And they also, she said, fooled around at the Versace mansion, which I also think was

that was Marisol put on like a Versace dinner.

Yeah, dinner.

Same season.

Oh oh my god okay i mean it's like if you watched it yeah they're acting so strange and inappropriate is that cheating well andy asked you have an open relationship with martina and she said our marriage was not great like at the time so it must have been something that like they've worked was bad they came back from and then yeah like when you when you are harmonizing

no you can't And then also, interestingly enough, I'm going to watch your union, but I think it ended on sort of a cliffhanger with this.

And Larsa then says to Stephanie that she thinks Julia's making all of it up.

And Lars says no friend of Adriana's really.

Right.

No, and by the way, I can't stand Adriana.

Like, she's seriously the worst character.

I'm in shock, even though, like, it's that shocking.

They were literally like kissing and being weird.

They were kissing.

But they maintained that they're just like best friends, best friends.

I was like, all right, maybe this is like how you hang with your best friends.

Like, okay.

But for all these years later, like, this means a lot to me.

This is so crazy.

I know.

I feel like you feel vindicated because you were like, oh, these two are hooking up.

And, but they never hook up.

And, like, there's always been weirdness between Martina and Julia's relationship because Julia goes on the show and really acts inappropriate a lot of the times.

And then she goes home to her wife.

Like it's weird.

She's not really like that so much anymore.

Maybe she wasn't in a good place with Martina and she was being like that.

And now she takes her relationship more seriously because she.

But it's also crazy that Adriana would be a part of the adoption process, yada, yada, when she was this other woman.

Yeah.

So I just want to say, I don't blame Julia at all for like not maintaining a close friendship with her, like either for the sake of her marriage or whatever.

Like, it's just weird.

Like, you guys fucked.

Like, we can't be best friends.

Yeah, but also, I think

Julia likes being in with the cool kids, like Alexia and Marisol.

And Adriana's very good.

To be clear, if I'm a part of this group, I want to be friends with Marisol and Alexia, too.

Like, they're cool, they're fun, they look like they have a lot, like, a lot of fun.

I would love to have drinks with them.

Like, yeah, me too.

I just want to say, Adriana's never been my favorite, and I find her, like, I don't want to talk negatively about her.

I have found some redeeming qualities in her this season.

Wow.

She's very educated and she has a lot of knowledge to share.

When they were in Seville, she was literally being a tour guide and like knew everything about everything, which is just like a quality that I think is highly respectable.

Agreed.

And she was like crying, very sad because she had a birthday and she's like the oldest in the group.

And I don't know.

I just like, I just fell for her a little more this season, but then she goes and calls Marisol's knees old and wrinkly and then she has to get plastic surgery on her knees.

So like you can't be upset if someone makes a comment about your age.

Speaking of, I know we're not making it a story, and I actually don't want to make it a story, but I really want to quickly comment on the Twitter beef between Cardi B and Nikki Minash.

Have you followed it at all?

I've seen a little bit of it,

but not all of it.

And I didn't even know where to find.

I tried to find Nikki's.

I saw what Cardi had said about some things, but I just couldn't see what Nikki had said about everything.

It is so abhorrent.

And I'm not taking aside, I think they're both disgusting.

Some of the shit that was being said about each other's children.

I think these women are deplorable.

Like, seriously, as women, as mothers, like the fact that they can't get along as two women in the industry is just like, it's a shame because they really could be lifting each other up.

But we have fallen so far, not to be like morality police.

I could not believe the shit that I was reading.

Like, it about their kids.

Like, it's not funny.

I'm not like gassing up this.

People like make it a story.

No, who side are you on?

I'm on the side of humanity.

I agree.

It is abhorrent.

I am being judgmental.

Yeah.

And I mean this in a serious way, like as women, and I've actually never said the sentence in a serious way.

As women, they need to do better.

As mothers, they need to do better.

As human beings,

it's not funny.

And like, I don't know if anything they're saying is true on either side.

I don't care.

I am like, I'm not engaging.

I'm not participating.

And I will not like lift this up.

It's not a gag.

No, same.

I didn't choose it.

Like, for, I don't want to talk about these.

I know people are like, why are are they talking about it like seriously

it's beneath me to talk like it is seriously it's beneath them it's really a shame not reading those tweets like on air

they are horrible yeah no

easy no

no weenies of the week i just i wanted to say yeah actually yeah that is it's not even it's so much worse than weenie of the week but yes that's my weenie of the week and queenies i'm looking at them yeah i was gonna make queenies of the week us too like we slayed the house down boots this week We atoned, we made news, we renewed our contract.

We're on Spotify, us.

I moved.

She moved, she's LA bound.

Turdy goes Hollywood.

Please don't say that.

Turdy takes Hollywood.

I do like that just for like an episode title.

Okay, but when you're there, yeah, of course, of course.

Being very Hollywood and all.

Unfortunately, don't forget about the little people.

I will.

One thing about me, like, I am going to forget about the little people.

Little people, who are they?

Unfortunately, my bladder has once again ended this episode of the Toast.

I'm going to pee in my pants.

We're aligned on that.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast of the Monday Morning Show where we deliver the fast five stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube.

So if you're watching this, wait, no, hold on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, no, no.

We got to read Jagger.

Thank you guys so much for listening to The Toast of the Millennium Morning Show, where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube and Spotify.

It has video.

Yeah,

I got to workshop it.

But follow follow us all the places.

You can listen to us wherever you get your podcast.

That's Spotify, iTunes, Citroen, Public Radio, IRA, CastWalks, all the places web listen to podcasts.

I know, Delta 5 is already about how wickedly talented we are.

Hope you guys have an amazing weekend.

I will see you on Monday.

Love ya.

Bye.