I Protect The Family: Tuesday, October 21st, 2025

Good morning, girlies.

It's the toast.

It's Jackson Claude, and we're your hosts.

It's your favorite show, the fast five things you need to know.

We'll start your day off swirly.

It's the toast.

I sound amazing.

Welcome back to the toast, and happy Tuesday.

Big day for the DTQ for me, and I guess for you too.

Why for you?

So many things.

I'm looking at your sweater.

Is it a sign of anything?

No.

No, I don't have my period.

I saw Ramona Singer on the way to work this morning.

I saw that you saw Ramona Singer on the way to work this morning.

Are you guys in a place where you say hello?

You know what?

The thing about Ramona texts.

Of course we are.

We do text.

The thing about Ramona Singer, she's like your best friend's mom.

Right.

She's like your best friend's mom who you've met a thousand.

Actually, your best friend's dad.

You've met her a thousand times.

She will never remember you.

Like, and I could go over.

She looked to be in a rush and I was just like enjoying the New York moment.

You know, I didn't need to make it more than it was.

I was also kind of in a hurry.

And if I had went over and been like, yeah, you know, we just texted like about the toast and like in front of Avery.

Like if Avery was with her, like I would have said hi because Avery's like the girl, the young daughter that remembers.

But I just wasn't in the mood to like have to explain myself.

Do you know what Avery?

I understand.

I understand.

No, but I literally texted with Ramona not two months ago and she wanted to come on the toast, but we couldn't make it work while I was on maternity leave.

Yeah, she was going to come on and co-host with me and our schedules just like didn't align between like New York and Florida.

Rats.

But yeah, we're all best friends.

We're all best friends.

We're all best friends who don't say hi to each other in this treat, which is so real.

Which is what real friends do.

Correct.

Now, it's also a big day for me because today Ruby's five months old, which I obviously good.

Happy for him.

What that signals to me, and every time somebody asks, like, how old is your baby?

I think, oh, how long have I been breastfeeding?

Not me making it to five months.

Like, I just, good for me, pat myself on the back.

Things I did that.

No, and sort of like making it to five months easily.

Yeah, kind of slaying my way to the fifth month, Mark.

Like, just sort of picking my head up, and it's been five months.

Not even like you've been trudging towards it.

Like, I've got to hit this milestone.

It's petering out.

No, like, yeah, things she's doing, breastfeeding for five months.

Didn't even realize that.

And just for anyone wondering, like an update where I'm at, I'm sort of at this crossroads.

Let me explain.

There are two paths diverging in the yellow.

I will be breastfeeding.

And I will take one of these paths.

I would like to make it to six months.

One more month.

I can do it.

For sure.

And at the six-month mark, I am either going to stop and be the skinniest, most toxic bitch you've ever met in your life.

Like literally going to Dr.

Geezy to get my Ozempic, my filler, and my Botox all in one day.

Then I'm getting a steroid shot in my coccydinia, in my tailbone, finally.

And then I'm also getting my thumb fixed.

I don't know what's wrong with my thumb, but there's something wrong.

I'm doing it all in one day.

And I'm going to be the most annoying person you've ever met in your entire fucking life, or

I'm gonna see this thing all the way through, and my baby's like never gonna have formula.

Like, you're kind of slay like that for the year, for yeah, I'm gonna take it all the way.

No, I'm not unhappy doing that, but I am unhappy at like my current body.

So, we'll see, we'll see.

I, you know, shout out for the comments, which one should I do?

I mean, every woman has to make that decision-like, get into the best shape of my life,

continue breastfeeding, and then also get pregnant, right?

Right.

Again, so you know what?

I'm gonna leave most things

up to the comments.

Like I do usually.

And you know what?

You never know.

Like something might happen.

It might naturally present itself with the answer.

Like I remember with Charlie, I wanted to breastfeed for six months and then I wanted to like snatch back to reality.

And he started biting me anyway.

And so I was like, and so for that reason, I'm out.

Let me tell you something.

I'm starting to get bit.

Oh, no.

It's really not cool.

And like, you can't like yell at a baby, but it's like, stop.

No, and you can't, like, get them to understand to stop.

Right.

There's no like punishment.

So I just either need to like put up or shut up.

Oh, no.

That's like that trend.

Oh, no.

My baby's breastfeeding.

I can't breastfeed anymore and I have Tico Zempic.

You should do that one.

Write it down.

That's a good one.

I think women everywhere will relate.

We're such relatable women.

I mean, I think that we are.

I think that's part of our charm.

A thousand percent.

So that's why it's a big day for me.

That's why it's a big day for me.

And of course, in lieu of gifts, please send donations to both me personally and the Mark Johnwey Holocaust Education Foundation.

Will do.

Aye aye.

Thanks.

How are you?

Why is today?

Is today a big day for you for any reason?

No.

Just another day that I got up.

Huge, by the way.

Got dressed, did my makeup.

Getting harder and harder.

I can't even describe it.

I know one day I will forget what I'm experiencing right now.

I never experienced it in other pregnancies where I can't move.

I'm just in so much pain in my other regions,

in my undercarriage, when I think you need a little bit of pelvic floor physical therapy.

I probably do,

but I can't make it there now.

You know, I'm not even driving myself anymore.

I'm not driving alone anymore just because there's just too much pain.

Too much, I agree.

And so I can't focus on the road on forch.

Well, you look gorgeous.

Thank you.

So yeah, just like getting myself dressed, like putting my legs through my pants is extremely hard.

Listen, I get it.

I think putting legs through pants, like not pregnant, is kind of a hard thing to do anyway.

So I can imagine

super grateful for the bench at the end of my bed.

Like it was meant to be a dressing bench and for putting on shoes and for putting on pants and now is living life it intended.

Love that.

Yeah.

So that's the major milestone day is I put on pants.

It's also a big day for the DTQ.

We have dear toasters.

They're hilarious.

I was giggling while choosing them.

So it's kind of a great day for everyone.

It's also just a great day to be a toaster.

Yeah.

I think every day that we do our show, And even days that we don't do our show, because if you are a toaster, then you're the elk of a toaster and you're having a great day because you're a fabulous girl

you know oh so funny jackie and i were talking yesterday there's somebody i know who's like dealing with something and i really want to recommend to them to like start listening to the toast which just like sounds so obnoxious because like oh you're having you're sad like listen to my podcast But like people tell us all the time that like when they were going through a hard thing or they were like dealing with grief that they listened to the podcast.

It was like a great hour a day to like lift their spirits and you know take their mind off of things.

And like I wanted to recommend it, but like, how do you recommend your own podcast without sounding like an animal?

You don't okay, okay, damn Okay, you don't but I do think that I was doing it completely selflessly I understand and like it's part it's not even just because we're hysterical and fabulous like it's about the Community mutual nature of it like every day that there's something an hour a day to take your mind off and I think it just helps people like put one foot in front of the other and just to have some routine that they can come to like rely on and the sisterhood of course there's always

sisterhood and we would never say say screw sisterhood we would never screw sisterhood um but i do think like if she is in a swirly orbit we will find our way to each other yeah i think maybe like it's on someone else to recommend it to her not me that's exactly what it is

but i just know like i know it would help

i do

You can't do anything about it.

You can write her an anonymous letter.

This isn't a relatable problem, you know?

No, no.

But okay.

I thought maybe like we could come up with a solution, but you're right.

There's like no good way to recommend your own podcast, even when you mean it so earnestly.

Yeah,

there's no good way.

So

all right.

Control Z.

Mm-hmm.

How's New York treating you?

Speaking of, oh, it's such a gorgeous day.

It's like I stepped outside and I was like, it's that crisp weather that like makes me just like miss my vape.

You know, I just want to like cuddle up on the couch with my vape.

Yeah.

And your and your breast pump.

Yeah, right.

Me and my, and you know what?

I, because I've been thinking somebody had asked me this like are you gonna like vape again when you can like you're not gonna be breastfeeding you're not gonna be pregnant like are you gonna vape um and i think for a while i thought that i would but you know what it's literally a miracle that i quit and if i go back it will be a lifelong thing i will be on and off my whole life i need to never touch it again yeah

There's no point.

I just like loved that era.

There's no point.

I just loved that era so much.

And you can't.

But we had that.

I also didn't like it.

I also didn't like it.

People don't talk about like the pitfalls of vaping.

Like, while it's great, like always losing your vape.

And then like,

sometimes they're like, oh, you get a puff that like gives you anxiety.

You know, you're like, wait, you're like starting to tweak a little bit.

And then it goes away.

Like, it wasn't all good.

You know, it was also expensive.

Cause I used to buy them by the cartons online.

Yeah.

It's a time and a place.

We'll always have the memories.

We'll always have like the cute pictures of us in our vapes, but you're right.

Like, maybe we'll just start smoking cigarettes.

Yeah.

Go hard or go home.

Yeah.

But no, like I think I've officially closed the chapter on that.

Like I don't think I'll go back like ever.

I think that's good.

It would literally be pointless.

Like you're.

Well, I would have fun, which is always good.

But you can have fun without vaping, turdy.

But like you really can't.

I know.

You can't have that much fun, you know?

Yeah.

Well, if you want to.

If you could just dabble.

I I know if I could just be a normal person who like, you know, just found, like, has one in her going out bag and only when she drinks.

Only when she drinks.

Yeah, but I can't because then you have one in your going out bag, you have it when you're drinking, then you wake up and you rummage through that going out bag and start vaping at six in the morning.

No.

No.

No.

I officially,

I'm closing the chapter.

Okay, good.

I thought we did five years ago, but um.

No, it was open.

Like once I was out of like the no-go zone, it was like an option, but I don't think it's an option for me.

Good.

I'm glad to hear it.

And stay in school, also.

Depends on the school.

And also, it depends on the person.

You know, everyone learns differently.

So true.

I mean, I can't go having this conversation again, but let's just all remember: like, the smartest kids in school are like now sometimes making the least amount of money.

Like, it literally means nothing.

Yeah.

And you know, what about a trade school?

Bring back blacksmithery.

Yeah, skills.

bring back welding practical skills we're all gonna be replaced by ai

i don't think the welders will honestly i don't think the podcasters will

definitely not famous last words but you know what you guys like they could try if ai can make a better podcast than us like serious then we could enjoy it we could listen to it i i welcome the challenge yeah sounds hysterical And rising tides rise all shudders, you know?

Like, then we have to level up.

Yeah.

We have amazing stories today.

Don't you feel like there's just like a lot of like funny things going on?

There are things again.

I have six and I'm going to see where the wind takes us in terms of conversación.

No press.

No press.

Let's get into them, shall we?

Well, today's a special day for big day for Jax because the fast five stories are brought to you by...

Avara.

Avara is one of my favorite brands here at the toast and one of my favorite brands to wear on the daily.

Because if you're looking for statement pieces that are perfect for everything on your schedule, Avara is the place to go.

They offer carefully curated designs and affordable pieces, making it easy to refresh your wardrobe without breaking the bank.

So it's a new season.

They have new styles.

Meet Avara, your go-to brand for effortless standout looks that are sure to turn heads and earn compliments.

Avara brings accessible fashion to women worldwide, designed to fit seamlessly into everything on your schedule.

You have to check out the Avara website because they have so many beautiful items.

The prices are so good.

You can get a whole new fall wardrobe.

They have staple pieces.

They have statement pieces.

And they have new arrivals dropping weekly.

So you'll never have to worry about what to wear again.

Head over to shopavara.com and use the code toast at checkout for 20% off your first purchase.

Trust us, once your order arrives, you'll be hooked.

That's S-H-O-P-A-V-A-R-A.com.

Remember the name, Avara, because everyone's going to ask where you got your...

new outfit.

It's true.

Everyone's always asking me.

My sweater that I wore yesterday was from Avara.

I actually got it when I was was skinny and I liked it so much that I just got another one in a bigger size.

I love that.

Yeah, well, that's what happens when you shop Avara.

And they're very size inclusive.

Check it out.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Legacy Box.

You're going to love Legacy Box.

If your closet is overflowing with old home videos, photos that never see the light of day, but you obviously like can't get rid of, but you can't access them.

It's kind of like this horrible thing.

It's time to do something about it.

Those irreplaceable heirlooms are not only taking up space, but they're also fading away.

A lot of people don't realize, like, you think all your VHSs from growing up are like safe in your basement, safe in the attic.

They're actually not.

They're exposed to the elements.

They can grow mold.

There can be floods.

So just letting them sit there is like kind of not the right thing to do.

And Legacy Box is a simple, affordable way.

It's a solution to preserve the past.

Just load up your legacy box with old tapes, films, and send it in.

Get everything back digitized on the cloud, ready to watch and share from anywhere.

Your memories will be instantly accessible, not hidden away in outdated formats.

With Legacy Box, you can stream, organize, and share your digitized videos and photos effortlessly.

It is so simple.

They do, so we grew up in the VHS era.

We did Legacy Box because we had this huge box of VHSs that we used to like buy all these like different converters and it never worked.

And eventually one day, it was like this thing we'd always been putting off.

And the day that we got the stuff back was seriously the best day.

It's a great thing to do for a gift.

It's a great thing to do.

It's just like on your list of things to do in your lifetime and you're not going to do it.

Just do the legacy box.

This is a sign that you need.

They have, you know, the ability to do, we did VHS, camcorder tape, super eight film.

Check protecting your memories off your spring cleaning to-do list with Legacy Box and visit legacybox.com slash toast to shop their $9 tape sale and get 90 days free access to Legacy Box Cloud.

That's legacybox.com slash toast to unlock this incredible offer.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Armra Colostrum.

So Armor Colostrum is a proprietary premium bovine colostrum concentrate that leverages proprietary cold chain biopatent pasteurization technology.

So it preserves colostrum's over 400 bioactive nutrients in their purest, most bioavailable form, and ensures a composition that is uniquely optimized for human health, unlike any other available products.

We're actually talking a lot about like boobs and breast milk today.

And you may not realize, like, when you first give birth, the first thing that comes out of your boob is actually not breast milk.

It's called colostrum.

And it's like this super nutrient-dense thing.

It's exactly what the baby needs.

And it's kind of like liquid gold.

That's what people call it.

They actually like freeze and preserve it.

And so ARMRA is harnessing bovine colostrum, which has a ton of benefits,

like strengthened immunity, fortified gut health, ignited metabolism, vitalized hair growth, enhanced skin radiance, fueling your performance and recovery.

So, there's a lot of different reasons you could take it.

It's a great thing.

It comes in this great, like, really accessible little packs.

Throw them in your purse, add it to your morning routine.

It's just a great thing to add if you're looking to feel your best.

Or if you have specific goals like hair growth, skin radiance, if you're in like a kind of an athletic era and you're looking to fuel performance and recovery, you can harness the closely guarded secret of elite athletes' long prize for its unrivaled ability to take performance to his apex.

Colostrum has been shown in research to help enhance nutrient absorption, promote lean muscle building, and improve endurance.

We've worked out a special offer for the toasters to receive 15% off your first order.

Go to tryarmora.com/slash toast or enter code toast at checkout to get 15% off your first order.

That's T-R-Y-A-R-M-R-A.com slash toast.

Today's episode is also brought to you by DraftKings.

All your favorite NBA players are back, and DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA, is the place to bet on NBA stars this season.

New customers, bet just five bucks and get three months of NBA NBA League pass, plus score $300 if your bet wins, paid in bonus bets.

Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app today and use code TOAST.

That's code T-O-A-S-T.

Bet five bucks and get three months of league pass plus $300 in bonus bets if your bet wins.

In partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours.

Gambling problem?

Call 1-800-GAMBLER.

In New York, call 877-8 HOPENY or text Hope NY-467-369.

In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling.

Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org please play responsibly on behalf of boot hill casino in resort kansas pass-through of per wager tax may apply in illinois 21 plus and eligibility varies by jurisdiction void in ontario restrictions apply bet must win to receive bonus bets in which expire in seven days minimum amounts required and may league pass auto renews until canceled additional terms at tkng.co slash audio limited time offer

thank you slash audio you're welcome our first story pains me to say but good guys are making news in the first spot today.

I feel sick.

And you told us, you warned us that they did a very newsmaking worthy podcast, which they had Jon Steamos on, which is always newsworthy, but he spilled major tea for the GGs.

Yeah.

And, you know, sometimes Ben finds himself at like the crossroads of huge pop calls.

He's far as scump.

I always say.

He's far as scump.

And he has no idea.

But when he got home from this interview, he was like, no, I'm telling you, like, it was crazy.

So I knew the fact that Ben was like conscious aware and like enough to acknowledge where he found himself.

I was was like, oh, this is going to be good.

And you know what?

It's huge news.

Yeah.

So John Stamos is blasting St.

Lori Laughlin's terrible narcissist ex, Massimo Giamunuli, after a shocking split.

So we had reported a few weeks ago that Lori Laughlin and Massimo are divorcing.

In the last few weeks, some stuff has come out.

The rumor mill is saying that she found some like incriminating stuff on his phone.

But now John Stamos is adding more color to their relationship and painting it in a light that I just did not see.

So she, he blasted Lori's estrange husband, Massimo, is a narcissist who masterminded the couple's 2019 college admission scandal.

He said, 40 years I've known her, you can see through people after a few years.

This woman's a saint.

I'm just heartbroken for her right now.

I really tried to be there for her during the divorce and also with the college scandal.

I'm not going to debate whether she had much to do with it or not.

I know she didn't.

She goes to fucking prison for this asshole for three months.

He said, he prayed that he hoped that she would get, that he would get help with whatever hole he's trying to fill.

Whatever negativity or hardships that you've been through in your life is connected to this guy, you know?

I mean, while he refused to talk about the alleged infidelity, he did say that Lori put up with a lot over the years.

So, you know what?

I always think about how like it was the women who went to prison in the college admission scandal, Felicity Huffman, not her husband.

William H.

Yeah, I was gonna say William Defoe.

That's not his name.

William H.

We say, Lori.

But it did also make sense that like, you know, the mothers would be more involved in getting their kids into college.

Dads tend to take a back seat with like academics.

But it also was like a low-key criminal thing.

So you would think like the husbands would have been more involved.

I'm not sure.

So this kind of

reaffirms some thoughts like I had had that like

even if it was Lori at the helm like wouldn't the father sort of like fall on his sword like he's the one who goes to prison like prison is for men you know it's not for girls yeah no it does raise a good point but now he's also saying not only did she like take the blame for the family, but she didn't do it.

Like it wasn't her idea.

And I

could see that.

I could see it too.

And I know this is so not the point because he's happily married, but I ship.

Like obviously Uncle Becky and Aunt Jesse.

Aunt Becky and Uncle Jesse.

Like.

Yeah.

End game.

End game.

Like John Samos needs to be Olivia Jade's stepfather, even though he's like so happily married.

I think he just had a baby.

And I'm like, no shade, no, no, Tino Shade.

I just don't think that's your person.

No, I understand, but I also feel like Lori Laughlin, like, needs someone.

I didn't even realize that like, this is what we needed.

This is what she needed.

Needs someone to stick up for her in this way.

Like, just like a complete like.

endorsement of her character, especially because like when with the college admission scandal and she went to jail and then people like she's like canceled her character has been called into question and he's like saying no she's a saint she's always been a saint she took the fall for her husband who's like that's the bad guy and even in outside of the college admission scandal, like he wasn't good to her.

Like, I just feel like if I'm her, well, actually, maybe it's starting drama, but

I just feel like she needed someone to be in her corner.

Yeah.

And I think, like, one thing about Lori,

protect the family.

Like, her family is everything.

Like, her girls ride for her so hard.

I think you could tell, like, just based on how her girls

talk about her that she's an amazing mom.

And so i don't think she was ever

gonna break that even in divorce like she was we were never gonna hear about this because she protects the family

and shout out to john stamos because things we needed to know this yeah but it does like sort of upend like what lori's trying to do which is like you know fuck it not have her but daughter but like

Her daughters must know.

They seem incredibly close.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I'm sure if there was cheating, I'm sure they do know that.

And I hope that like Olivia Jade is just leaning on

Jacob Alordi at this time.

You do?

No, I don't actually.

Am I crazy in saying like I think Olivia Jade's too good for him?

I'm so over him.

It's time to move on.

Who's like the new hot young thing that Olivia Jade should date?

We always have this conversation and I just my diamond explains yeah, we're always talking about like her Glenn Powell like the same five people.

Oh Glenn Powell, right.

But they're friends, you said.

They are friends.

It's not, it's purely platonic.

So as I said, we've had this conversation.

Yeah, I guess we have.

Unfortunate.

Well,

all that to say, like, we ride for Lori at dawn, okay?

Oh, yeah.

And Josh.

She's America's aunt Becky.

Yeah.

And I really do like think slash hope that he didn't, you know, go rogue in this interview.

Like he had some sort of blessing from Lori, just being like, yeah, burn it down.

I don't think he had a blessing from Lori, but I think he did what he felt was right.

You know, we love a righteous person, a righteous Gentile.

Yeah, a righteous individual.

I do hope, though, that he didn't make things worse for her.

I don't think he would do that.

I think they're actually like really close, good friends.

Yeah.

And not Ben just like being there for all of it.

Lish.

Lish.

Just there.

Good thing you guys went to L.A.

Literally.

Because otherwise, like Ben would have been just like on Zoom and all the articles would have left out his name because it looks like just Josh and John are on a podcast.

Yeah.

Is Ben?

I'm looking for photos.

He's in the clip.

He's in the clip.

He's in the clip.

Okay, but not the stills, but that's okay.

Always getting the boot.

That's my husband.

Josh isn't in the stills, also, to be fair.

It's like just John.

Okay, good.

Good, good, good.

Are you ready for our next story?

Something that I know that you've really been wanting to discuss.

And I actually want to talk about it as well.

Kristen Bell was dragged for an unbelievably toned-up anniversary post to her husband, Deck Shepherd.

So Crispin Bell over the weekend commemorated her husband's birthday, their wedding anniversary.

And she said, happy 12th wedding anniversary to the man who once said to me, quote, I would never kill you.

A lot of men have killed their wives at a certain point.

Even though I'm heavily influenced, incentivized to kill you, I would never, heart, unquote.

And then the picture is him hugging.

I couldn't tell if that was like a young daughter or just a little Kristen Bell because like you only see the back of a blonde head.

Is that that a daughter?

That's like little Kristen Bell.

Are you sure?

1000%.

Yeah, the two sat on the bed hugging.

Yeah.

Okay.

I thought it literally does it not look like a toddler.

She does look small, but she's small.

That's all they kept saying in the show.

Nobody wants this.

And she's so small.

No, and their kids are blonde.

But also, why would you want to?

Claudia, stop.

Are you sure?

Let me just get one more look.

Kristen Belle.

Like, I wasn't unsure until you asked me.

Okay, am I blocked by Kristen Bell?

What's her Instagram?

Kristen Annie Bell.

Oh, okay, Annie.

Not me thinking I was blocked.

Jackie, this really looks like a young girl.

Look how big his hand is on her head.

Stop making it weirder than it is.

Okay.

You sure?

I was not unsure.

Okay, fine.

So yeah, let's talk about how unbelievably weird and unnecessary this is.

And like, you know who I blame for this, deadass?

I want to know if you know what I'm thinking.

Who do I blame for this?

Come on, beat my brain.

Come on.

You can get it.

I don't know.

Okay, I'll give you a clue.

A different male celebrity.

Who does like weird captions like this?

Come on.

Just tell me.

Van City Reynolds.

Oh, well, look where that landed him.

I blame Ryan Reynolds for this because, like, there was an era where Ryan Reynolds would just like post pictures of half his wife's face and be like, happy birthday, quirky.

And everybody was like, ah, they're so cute.

And it got them like a lot of attention and like couple goals types of things.

And really, he was just like being annoying and rude to his wife on Instagram.

And everybody like ate it up, ate it up.

And now I feel like it's become like a trend.

Like you can't be sincere.

Like you have to make a joke.

And like, she's just trying to get attention and like be funny and quirky.

And obviously like this is weird and wrong.

Not to mention it's Domestic Violence Awareness Month and people are saying it's a really insensitive.

A lot of people are commenting and saying like really on Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which is like, yes, but also it has nothing to do with Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Like this would just be like a weird

thing to say.

Honestly, with the exception of Black History Month, like nobody knows the months.

You know, it's like women's history.

We don't give a fuck.

Like we know February is Black History Month.

And besides that, like I don't know what months are celebrating other things and to be honest like i don't give a yeah so i feel like that's like not really fair that's not that's not a fair i agree let's just talk about how weird it is universally yeah i just feel like kristen bell and dax shepherd both of them have just been like made to feel like they can't say anything wrong and they always say weird stuff and they do say a lot of things and i feel like they're always in the headlines for like an instagram caption that's like quirky silly a little taboo but they said it um and they just like took it way too far because they've never been stopped And that's what happens when you go unchecked.

Right.

Because they're just sort of like beloved.

Yeah.

She did limit comments of, you know, there are 4,500.

But she's kept it up.

Oh, wait.

Somebody commented.

I'm reading the comments and this has like thousands of likes.

I'll be honest, until I saw it was an anniversary post, I thought he was holding one of his little girls.

Not us wondering if that's one of your daughters or if you are, in fact, that little.

Okay, I'm not the only one who thought that.

Yeah, but I think she is very little.

is this supposed to be funny

it is supposed to be funny and I see people in the comments like pouring out their hearts like as a survivor of domestic violence and I have empathy I don't think that like these two things

like she wasn't trying to hurt you yeah it's just it's just a bad caption yeah it's just like a bad take and just you know losing sight of

Of the message, of the spirit of the day.

But let's also just talk about like Dak Shepard as a person saying this.

Well, Dak Shepard like says a lot of stuff.

That's true.

It's kind of his job.

Yeah, and like the thing is people in their private lives, like you could have a conversation like about spousal murder.

And I guess when you think about it, like you could, you could.

So I could see him saying like, I am highly incentivized to murder.

Like, I guess there are incentive.

incentives.

Yeah, life insurance.

If she dies, then all of her money is his.

Frozen money.

Gotcha.

So they say it was like supposed to be romantic.

Yeah.

Yes.

It's supposed to be romantic.

Right.

He's saying, like, even though like my life, I could benefit greatly from your death, I would never want that.

Now,

because I love you.

Right.

But him saying, like,

he could have said it without being like the murderer.

He could have said, like, I don't want you to die, even though, like, I would become really rich.

Like, him, like, putting himself as the murderer in this hypothetical situation like does give me pause.

Well, I think he just says things like in an intense way for the delivery.

Yes, but also this was a private conversation and I wouldn't be nitpicking it if I didn't know about it and I shouldn't know about it.

Right.

And yeah, just the bringing it into the public just sort of missed the mark.

But like I'm not someone who's like, well, she missed the mark.

Cancel.

I'm just like, I'm just like,

let's pivot for next time.

Let's learn.

Yeah.

Like it's not, I don't think it's like a huge deal, but it's becoming a big deal.

And the thing is, like, the more you read a story, it's funny because the first time I saw this, I'm like, oh, she made a stupid joke for her husband's anniversary.

How stupid.

And then I keep seeing the story.

And now the more I read the caption, I'm like, well, this is really bad.

Yeah.

You know, and it's just like how if you get inundated with something enough times, like you're like, well, this is a huge deal.

Yeah, it is becoming a big deal.

They are really famous.

And this is just sort of like

the price of being famous.

Like your Instagram captions get studied.

Let this be a lesson to them and to all couples who are like annoying and like quirky.

Like, you don't need like a crazy caption for your anniversary post.

Like, just celebrate your anniversary in private and post a cute little collage.

We'll be okay.

We don't need to know everything that goes on in your house.

Yeah, but I do think the two of them, like, together and separately feel invincible.

are have been invincible.

Like they, not that they say crazy stuff all the time, but like that's their shtick.

And they've not really been like brought to test.

I mean, I think they are one of those couples that like gets like questioned because of how much they bait their kids and shit like that.

You know, they don't use soap.

That was them, right?

Yeah.

And that's the sort of controversy.

Mila and Ashton.

It was Mila and Ashton, but it might also be them.

That's the sort of controversy they're used to and that they love.

This has gone like a little further than I think they would have.

But now we're veering into like domestic violence awareness month, and that's just like never a conversation you want to be in the bad part of.

Right.

Right.

But I think they have a lot of fans and a lot of people who know their hearts.

And they'll be okay.

I think they'll be okay.

They'll be fine.

A couple that will not be okay.

Our next story.

Shaws of Sunsets.

Mercedes Javid files for divorce from Tommy Fight after seven years of marriage, requests custody of their son, Sham.

Okay, this story affected exactly one person, me.

I'm so upset.

Obviously,

I quote their wedding all the the time.

Kiens look sick.

You look like a piece of food.

But I also believed in their love.

Like a story.

If you were a part of like the OG Shaza sense, like you just had to be there.

It was the 80s.

It was so crazy.

And when her and Tommy found each other, he was just this like character, this like old, like kind of cynical New Yorker.

He's like a character on sex in the city, I swear to God.

And they were so different.

They came from different worlds.

I mean, she is, you know, from an immigrant family, Persian, finding her way in LA, Glamazon, you know, she made her own money, had her own cars.

And he was like this sort of like blue collar, rough around the edges.

And they made no sense together, but they were perfect for one another.

And then like, she wanted to be a mom and they had this baby and she had such a crazy pregnancy and delivery.

And he was

amongst other things.

She literally died on the table.

Like they took out all of her organs.

Like crazy story.

And they just made it through a lot of tough times.

And I feel like now is sort of like her golden era because the show is off, but she's this huge star from Traders.

They have their baby.

Like, I can't believe that now they went through so much that now is when they're calling it off.

I'm shocked.

I'm shocked and I'm saddened.

According to the documents obtained by people, she submitted her petition in LA on Friday, October 17th, which is also listed as their date of separation.

She cited irreconcilable differences and asked that the court terminate its ability to award both she and him spousal support.

She further requested sole physical and legal custody of their six-year-old son, Shams, with Tommy receiving visitation on Tuesdays after school.

I don't, okay, I don't need to know his whole schedule.

But that's like, that's interesting just because that's very little.

It was like Tuesdays and Wednesdays and Sunday, like a couple hours, Tuesday, Monday, and Sunday.

But like, I'm going to.

Okay, okay.

Yeah.

Now, I think every mother like ideally goes for soul custody, right?

So I don't know if that's like supposed to be a red flag.

Yeah.

yeah so sad like seriously oh i'm i'm devastated yeah i'm sad i i

i just wonder i can't remember if they announced this or i just like read it on like a bravo something but there is like some form of shaw returning yeah

so not to be like greedy but i would love to see this in some sort of reality format yeah i it sounds like

Because we read that announcement, like Shaws is getting like the valley treatment.

Right.

What did they call it?

I think they had a name too.

Did they?

Let me just look it up.

There was like a whole announcing.

Shaws is coming back, ladies of London.

We were like

sitting pretty.

The Valley Persian style, obsessed.

Yeah.

Gig, Reza, and MJ will be navigating the next stages of their life in the Valley.

The show will incorporate familiar faces from the original series alongside new cast members, yada, yada.

Yeah, this is.

So ideally, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, you know what?

Sad for MJ, but hopefully this breathes life into this new show.

Like a show show needs a good scandal like to get it started.

It's always good.

Yeah.

Very surprising and very sad.

But we're always rooting for MJ.

So whatever's best for MJ

is best for ourselves.

One thing about the toast, we are always, and before it was cool, because everybody loves her now.

She like slayed on traders.

Excuse me.

We've been standing since like 2014.

Whatever's best for Mercedes Javir is best for me, Mercedes June.

I cannot wait for that show to come back.

Like, it's seriously.

If you have time, if you have the time, start Shaws of Sunset from the beginning.

I think it's on Peacock.

Literally,

there were so many eras.

I mean, I can't go into my Shaz of Sunset diatribe, but like, let's me not forget Diamond Water.

You should start a Shaz of Sunset

with MJ.

Happy to.

I have so many thoughts.

And not us being personally afflicted.

Remember when we had those two freaks on and they yelled at us?

Who?

The siblings?

They weren't siblings.

They fought like siblings.

They were a couple who they were, I don't want to say their names, but I remember it.

Bobby and Asifa.

They.

Why did they yell at us?

What do we do?

They were on for one season.

And they were just like, I don't know if there's, they can't be still together.

They were the most toxic couple.

All they did was fight.

And they came on the breath as like, we used to recap shots.

They came on the breath as guests.

And then she sent me like a nasty message afterwards being like.

I guess she hadn't seen any of our recaps.

And we like weren't on her side.

We would say that like her and her boyfriend are so toxic.

I mean, she'd be like, if I had seen how poorly you spoke of us, I never would have agreed to come on your show.

I'm like, well, that's your fault for not doing your research.

But also like, that's just the name of the game.

Like, we're just talking about a show.

She was like very new to the game and she took it out on me.

And the best way to get us to stop talking badly about you on the show is to like come on our show and like be super nice and disarm using.

I mean, Danielle Staub,

Margaret Josephs.

I was such a Margaret hater on her first season.

And Jackie was like, No, I think I like her.

I'm like, No, I'm telling you, she's ox.

She came on the toast, literally.

Could not have loved her more.

She's one of my best friends.

I talk to her every day.

Yeah.

Danielle Staub really wowed me.

Leanne Locken really wowed me.

And these were people I would recap and I wouldn't be on their side and I would have criticised.

Now, I could not criticize any of them.

I could actually, but I wouldn't.

No, but like you would just, you then have in the back of your mind, like, oh, this was like a nice decent person.

Like, maybe there's more to the story.

Right.

What are we not seeing?

Exactly.

Are you ready for our fourth story?

Speaking of more to the stories.

Wicked for good casts their cowardly lion.

So this was a weird story, like the way that it rolled out.

Yeah, they've been like teasing the voice of the cowardly lion.

John M.

Chu said that there is an actor so great behind the voice of the cowardly lion, and we're not going to reveal it until he shows up on the red carpet at the premiere.

Cut to four hours later, just like a variety story being like, it's Coleman Domingo.

It's Coleman Domingo playing the cowardly lion.

Now, let me say.

They did Coleman dirty because now I'm like, well, Coleman isn't the greatest actor.

And I'm like kind of let down.

Meanwhile, if they had just said like Coleman Domingo is the cowardly lion, I would have been like, you know what?

That's a cool thing.

That's right.

Yeah.

He has a great voice, like this booming voice.

So now I'm just disappointed.

What was with this weird rollout?

I don't know.

And like, there are so many stars in the movie that didn't get like a.

And, Jackie, the guess is, I was reading the comments before it came out.

People were like, Sir Ian McKellen.

Like,

okay.

It's just like, it's so weird now.

It is weird.

And it's like, it's sad for Coleman.

Well, actually, I'm sure Coleman's fine.

But it's definitely like a,

you know, with a whimper.

Yeah, because objectively, like, if we were reporting on this, I would say, you know what, that's actually like an A-plus category.

And my tone would have been like, Coleman Domingo's playing the cowardly line.

Like, no, like, hype.

Yep.

No disappointment.

It's just fact.

And like, you said that's really good.

Just fact.

Yeah.

Now there is a gap between expectation

and announcement because really who could have lived up to that hype?

And John M.

Chu like kind of needs to be like reprimanded for this.

Like he needs to be told, like, that was bad.

If I'm Coleman, like, I'm actually mad because now we're all, we're not clowning on Coleman, but we're just like, oh, Coleman.

He's like, Coleman Domingo.

It's Coleman Domingo.

Don't you feel like Coleman Domingo's kind of like always finding himself in that situation though, where it's like his presence, it's like meant to be.

I felt that way.

He was in the Suprema Carpenter music video, and everyone's like, He was, yeah, in

the one that she for her new album.

Oh, I don't think I saw it.

Manchild?

Was it Manchild?

I forget.

One of the singles, he's in the music video, and everyone's like, It's Coleman Domingo in the music video.

I'm like,

And everybody talks about Coleman Domingo, and they don't talk about him in four seasons, which I don't even know if I ever spoke about it because it was one of my postpartum shows.

I fucking loved it.

And he was the best part.

Yeah,

he was exactly over the summer.

It's the the best show.

It's a good show to watch with your husband.

He's the best part.

He's the best part.

I know you liked his husband, but I did.

I'm Coleman.

Yeah.

And so, like, they talk about the great works of Coleman.

They never talk about four seasons.

He was in Euphoria.

A dad.

So that's me.

Oh, he's not the dad, Claudia.

He's the sponsor.

Oh, yeah.

Why don't I think it was your dad?

I don't know, but I saw in the comments.

Well, that's why he's never in the show because Rue is like never on the program.

Yeah.

So, no, I didn't watch Euphoria.

So I've, I've arrived at Coleman late.

Yeah.

But anyways, he's a cowardly lion.

And that's great.

Like just outside of all the noise, like it's a good casting.

Inside all of the noise, it's like, won't, won't.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And does he sing?

Definitely.

Definitely.

Definitely.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story?

If it's our fifth and final story, that's brought to you by Nanit.

Sleep and nap routines feel impossible to figure out, especially in the early months, but with Nanit, they don't have to be.

Nanit does the heavy lifting for you, tracking sleep patterns and milestones so you can stop guessing and start resting.

Because when your baby sleeps better, you do too.

Shout out to Nanit for letting me know that today's gonna be five-month birthday because you know I didn't know it until I checked the Nanit and they say happy five months and they make this cute little graphic for you.

So Nanit, I just feel even like so silly having to like sell it to you guys.

If you have a baby, like you have a Nanit, like that's all it is.

It's the number one most awarded smart baby monitor trusted by parents and experts.

It's the baby monitor that parents can't stop talking about they've got rave reviews from favorite celebrities athletes podcasters and you know all the magazines new york times parents the bump wire cutter it's the smartest baby monitor on the market it tracks everything from your baby's breathing motion to their sleep quality giving you key insights into their health and well-being so they have great um

like features for every stage in the very very beginning um they can help with the breathing monitoring which is just like all you look at is your baby breathing when they first come home from the hospital.

Then when you're starting to get into like the nap and and sleep training, they're super helpful with like all the metrics and the timing.

It's like having a second pair of eyes that never get tired, crystal clear video, two-way audio.

You can see and hear your baby from anywhere at any time, and you're gonna get personalized insights and smart notifications to understand your baby's development and their needs like never before.

Nanit is a one-baby item that we really can't live without, and right now they're offering 25% off just for toasters.

Get 25% off your first order with code baby25 at nanit.com, n-a-n-it-t.com, code B-A-B-Y25.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Wayfair, Erista, Levi Home.

Oh, I'm so in my Wayfair era in my new place.

I actually just bought a console table last night.

Yeah, not me getting a console table.

What do you know?

I'm consoling.

What do you know about console?

I am

consoling.

Now with the holidays approaching, all of your needs for hosting, toasting, and roasting.

Wayfair.

And boasting.

Shoping.

Yes, shop holiday decor for every room in the house, whether you're looking for Christmas trees, wreaths.

Ugh, I love that ad copy is getting holiday, you know?

We're here.

We made it.

It is the season.

Looks like that.

They've got Christmas trees, wreaths, inflatables for the front yard.

They're really your one-stop shop.

If you're having company over, like your beautiful sister's coming to town and you want to refresh your guest room with bedding, with linens, with throw pillows and accent chairs, you can do so for way less.

There's something for every style in home, no matter your space or budget.

They're making it easy to tackle your home goals this year.

During the holiday season, they have free and easy delivery, even on the big stuff, and you're going to find all your seasonal must-haves from furniture and holiday decor to appliances and cookware, all in one convenient place.

Hosting just got a lot easier.

You can get organized, refreshed, and ready for the holidays for way less.

Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home.

One feature that Wayfair doesn't put in the copy that I feel like is their best feature is that if you're looking for a table, but you only have like a short wall, like it can't be more than 30 inches, you can actually search by inches.

Like that's insane.

I love it.

Wayfair.com, Everystyle, Every Home.

Today's episode is.

That speaks to the variety that they have because other places wouldn't have enough to say.

Today's episode is also brought to you by BuyHeart, an infant nutrition company built from the ground up to deliver real innovation on behalf of babies and parents.

The mission is simple: the best formula in the world.

They use the latest in breast milk science.

They create a clinically proven, easy-to-digest infant formula that's made with organic breastfed whole milk, certified clean ingredients, and features a patented protein blend that gets closest to breast milk.

Jack and I were just having this conversation actually offline because I'm obviously in this era of breastfeeding.

I don't know if and when I'm going to stop, but I do know that when I do, I am doing Buy Heart.

It feels good to not have to make that that choice right like i know based on my own research that by heart is what's going to be best for me i like that they are a formula company that released one formula like you want the the company that you're you know trusting to put their whole pussy into one formula right like their best not offer three and be like they're all the best well you can't all be the best yeah and when you're shopping you want the best one but if no one will tell you because there's like they're we love them all no which one is the best one which one well buy heart is on a mission to make the best formula they use organic breast-fed whole milk instead of skill milk.

They rely on the latest breast milk science and they're locally made right here in the U.S.

If you're curious about Byhart, formula is like, honestly, feeding is such a

just honestly, let's be real, like a terrible journey.

It's like so many questions, so many.

like sleepless nights wondering if you're doing the right thing.

And Byhart totally gets that.

If you're curious about Byhart, head to buyheart.com.

Use code Toast30 to save 30% off your first subscription order for a limited time.

By Heart is also available at Target, Walmart, and major retailers nationwide.

Check them out in stores today.

Additional terms and conditions apply.

That code is Toast30 for 30% off your first subscription order.

Thank you, Koji.

You're welcome.

Our fifth and vital story,

we're going to call this section Koji's Architectural News.

Oh my God, who's following 432 Park?

I've been following it.

I'm following it a little bit more closely now since like major publications are writing about it, but I've been here since the beginning.

Now, I know you guys are going to say, like, well, I don't live in New York.

Why would I care about, trust me, this is the craziest saga.

Yes.

So there is a building in New York that was built how long ago, 2015.

Oh, did you say 10 years?

Okay, yeah, so like we were all there when it was being built, and it's like it really

was being built.

It was being talked about a lot for a multitude of reasons.

One, because it was going to be the tallest building in the city, it's the same height as the Empire State Building.

So, we're like, oh, wow, that's cool.

But this was going to be residential.

People were going to live there.

All these tall buildings in the city, Empire State Building, Chrysler Building, they're office buildings.

And it's also more uptown.

So, when you see the skyline, like when you're coming into the city, like all of the really big skyscrapers are sort of concentrated more downtown and like below 34th Street, but this is like stands alone.

It's a concrete building that's like one solid

15 by one ratio throughout.

Whereas like the Empire State Building like tapers off, the other buildings like shapes of skyscrapers are intentionally pointed at the top.

Aerodynamically, they have to be to let wind pass through.

That's why every building is like a big tall antenna.

Have you ever seen like the Burj Khalifa?

Like they're all pointy.

It's not for aesthetics.

It's for aerodynamics.

This one was like, we have figured out we don't have to be pointy.

We're going to be just as tall as the Empire State Building.

But the last like 10 or 15 stories of the Empire State Building are just like a tall antenna.

So it's like kind of, they're like, no, we're going to be a perfect rectangle.

They are square on top.

They're flat on top.

And we're like, let me go.

How are you going to do that aerodynamically?

They're like, well, we've cracked the code.

The way this building is built, it's like every 10 or 15 floors.

It's completely open.

So they're like wind passes through.

It's just columns and open air.

So the wind passes through, like, we're not going to sway.

We're going to be, meanwhile, the second people moved in, there have been insane issues in this building people say it sways

okay they're just in their apartment and it's swaying yeah people say that in the trash chute if you don't live in an apartment building in new york every floor has a trash chute you got to throw your trash out you take the garbage and you throw it down the chute and it's basically just like a

shock that goes yeah but this building is so big and so unstable they say that every time somebody throws trash down the chute it sounds like a bomb going off when it reaches the bottom like oh my god this building has been insanely riddled with issues but now the new york times has done like a full investigation because some residents are saying that the building is cracking on the outside yeah but the foundation you can see it's full of cracks some engineers fear that chunks of concrete could start to fall down onto sidewalks if a $160 million renovation isn't undertaken also I saw that like so in order to make like the concrete they use like a bunch of different materials but they wanted the facade of the building to be like to be white to be a lighter concrete so they didn't use some of the darker colored concrete materials which are like the ones that would provide

like better for the structure so the new york times did investigation and they found emails of like the because now it's like who they're trying to find blame who do we blame the builders the developers the real like the residents are pissed and by the way it's not just like an apartment building that you can buy an apartment in

a city of millions of dollars so all these people spend a hundred million dollars on an apartment and they literally can't go to the bathroom they can't throw their garbage down and the building's falling apart so the new york times did a uh investigation and they found emails where like the people the builders are literally writing to one another being like, well, you know, if we don't use this concrete mix, like that's

not going to stay together.

And they literally know what they're doing is wrong.

And they're choosing the aesthetic, having like a white concrete over a dark concrete.

They're choosing that.

over the function of like it actually being safe.

Now, if I'm somebody who bought an apartment in here, oh my God, I'm so fucking pissed.

I don't know, does insurance cover something like this?

It's literally unheard of.

I have no idea.

And like, can you sell it?

Is anyone trying to get into this building?

Yeah, it's like a nice.

Let me tell you, it's like 55th and like 5th or something.

I avoid that block, always have like the plague.

Something terrible is going to happen to that building.

And now what do we do?

Right.

So they say that they need a hundred and sixty million dollar renovation.

Well, they absolutely have to do it.

Like if I'm, you know, the New York mayoral debate is like really like tense right now.

If I'm a mayoral debate, like, if I'm a mayoral candidate, this is an issue people need to be talking about.

They shouldn't be forced to do that renovation.

It's a hazard.

Pieces of concrete flying off of the

thousand-story building.

Like, it's insane.

I know.

I just worry that they actually can't fix it.

Like that the issue is

that it's a certain and that like the building eventually would have to be

so abandoned.

Not only abandoned, but demolished, right?

It can't just stand there.

No.

So this is unprecedented, but I would love an expert to weigh in, like, what do we do here?

The building really should.

Can you just demolish a building in the middle of the city?

Don't you like the debris?

You can't just like take down a building, can you?

I think you can.

Yeah, they do it all the time.

Do it.

Do it.

I mean, there's so much money in this building.

Too fucking bad, for real.

I don't know.

I'd love to talk to a resident.

Is it as bad as like maybe I'll have a resident co-host?

You should.

You should.

If you or someone you know lives in 432 Park Avenue, reach out, please.

They say the building

sways in the wind and groans like a ship at sea.

And that leaks, Power outages and elevator problems have persisted since they moved in.

Oh, yeah, like the mechanical issues are wild.

The elevator's like always out.

I don't know if it's just because it's shitty or because of the wind.

Oh my God.

Well, when the building went up, there was a lot of outrage and people were just talking about it.

But because it was so ugly, it really has affected.

The New York City skyline is so iconic and it's so gorgeous.

I'm sorry, no other city compares.

And this big, just like pencil in the middle, it's so ugly.

And we hated it from the beginning because it was just like these billionaires being like, Look, we could build a big stupid building.

We're like, we don't give a fuck.

Like, seriously, get alive.

It was so unnecessary.

It was like, it's literally, it's giving the Titanic the unsinkable.

Like, we can do it.

Well, you can, but who cares?

Like, you don't need to.

Yeah, it's just crazy that it's like not good.

Like

all the money in the world, you can't even build a building that stands up on its own.

Yeah, that doesn't sway.

That's like

the pictures of the cracks and like the literal chunks of concrete missing.

Where are those chunks of feet of engineering.

And there's so many other buildings that are going up.

They call it Billionaire's Row.

So it's like that street, super tall buildings.

There's one, remember that one where like the crane was just like falling off?

It was right by our old studio.

57th Street.

And then the street would be shut down a couple times because like shit was falling off the construction site.

It was just a crane in the breeze like this.

This is so scary.

Of course, it makes me think of that building in Florida in Surfside that completely collapsed because it was like not engineered right or whatever.

Like we have a duty in these urban, like urban planners.

I don't know what like these are people's jobs.

Like you have to figure it out.

This really gives me the willies.

No, but it's also like it's Tower of Babel.

Too tall.

It's Tower of Babel.

It's too tall.

It's too like it could, it's too tall.

Like it didn't have to be, it doesn't have to be so tall.

Like I don't understand like the

tall of this like and the thing is, and I've seen videos of people like touring apartments in there like on the highest floors.

You guys, you're literally in the clouds.

You can't even see anything.

There's no view.

Live on an airplane.

Live on another planet.

It's so stupid.

You can't, you don't even, okay.

So the point of being high up is that you can get good views, but these people are so high that they're actually on most days in the clouds.

You don't, you're, you're surrounded by fog.

That's really crazy.

It's so stupid.

And that's most desirable.

Right.

Damn.

No, if I'm somebody who bought in this apartment, I'm obviously like annoyed because I'm going to lose money, but I'm more so embarrassed.

Like, you got caught up in all this and you spent all this money.

that's so embarrassing

like i'm literally pointing my finger like it's you yucky like that's so embarrassing

oh man i'm obsessed with this saga j-lo and a rod lived there when they were together yes

and there's a video everyone on the toilet yes

it's like you're just in the middle of this like airspace so every other building can see you in this huge windows somebody zoomed in they got a picture of a rod on the jaw yeah

Obsessed.

Those are the fastest stories.

Feel as though you needed to know them.

Now it is time for Dear Toasters.

We have an amazing dear toasters today.

If you guys ever want to write in, you can submit.

Well, sorry, let me say, if you're new here, Dear Toasters are our weekly advice segment where we just try to help out the swirlies in need.

They're always dealing with like mother-in-law drama, baby drama, whatever.

And you can write into us, send us an email, dear toasters at gmail.com, or simply head over to our website, the toastpodcast.com.

Scroll down this little submission box, totally anonymous.

Don't worry, we'll never, you know, blow your spot up.

Here we go.

Hey, swirlies, long time listener here.

Let me start by saying, I love my mother-in-law most days.

You know how mother-in-laws are.

But one thing I cannot stand about her is, and I have no idea.

You know, I feel like I really have not been reading this well.

I'm starting over.

I feel like I haven't been reading well all day.

So

it's just a bad reading day.

It happens.

BRD.

Hey, girly swirlies, long time listener here.

Let me start by saying, I love my mother-in-law most days.

You know how mother-in-laws are.

One thing I cannot stand about her, and and I have no idea how to address is that this woman never, and I mean never, washes her hands.

She loves cooking.

She's always preparing meals when my husband and I come over, but she quite literally never washes her hands.

Anytime she uses the restroom, she's

out that door, the millisecond of flushing.

I've paid attention to this as long as I've known her and it disgusts me to no end.

I have zero clue how to address it.

My husband does the same sometimes and have to remind him to wash his hands.

He's a PGM otherwise.

But how the hell do I bring this up to my mother-in-law?

Signed a sanitary toaster.

That's actually my worst nightmare.

The thing is, um, not to be like a toxic woman, but you have to have a baby because once you have a baby, you can say, you have to wash your hands.

You come in the house, wash your hands.

And that's what, that's what, like, every good Samaritan does when they come and meet your baby.

They're like, wait, let me wash my hands.

And sometimes you have to be like, wait, sorry, can you wash your hands?

That's when you could start being like a pushy hand washer and you just never stop.

Yeah, no, that's good.

You can get her to occasionally wash her hands like when the baby comes around, but in general, like you're not going to change this woman.

You can't tell a grown woman to wash her hands like i just you can't eat her food you this is what they say can have something that was prepared from her kitchen like i if i know that about someone especially you know i how i am about kitchen safety and like if i've seen that you are not practicing like kitchen food grade safety in your kitchen i will not eat your food i don't care how amazing it looks Of course, this is what people on TikTok say.

It's like a little song.

I forget how it goes, but it's like, this is why you can't eat at everybody's house.

No, you cannot.

I hope that the food doesn't look that good because that's really would be hard.

But that's literally the only thing that can get me to not eat is like unsanitary conditions, like someone's disgusting hands, a hair in the food.

All of a sudden, I have self-control.

I've never been like such a crazy hand washer Nazi, but when you have a baby, like I become just very aware of like my outside clothes, you know, I was never like really crazy about it, but now I'm just more aware of it.

That's really gross.

Like, I'm sorry that you're dealing with that.

And in terms of like tangible solutions, I offer a baby.

It's a band-aid.

They say a baby fixes everything.

It's just a band-aid.

I'm sorry.

She's a deeply flawed person.

Before you go over there, don't touch her.

Like, that's just so yucky to me.

Agreed.

All right, next up.

Hey, Drex and Claude, I have a mom question for you.

You two are the perfect mamas to help me out.

I'm in round two parent phase.

So I have two older kids, a 19 and a 17-year-old, and now a two-year-old son.

My question question is about mom friends.

I'm definitely much older than most of the moms that I meet at the park, so I feel really awkward about asking them for play dates or other meetups.

I don't want to give off like unapproachable energy, but I also don't want to be the weird old lady in your college classes that nobody wants to be in the group with.

What are your thoughts?

Would you be open to being friends with an older mom, or should I just stay on the sidelines?

I'm 44, if that helps.

Sincerely, a geriatric millennial.

I mean, you sound like a dream.

Like, seriously, I think you're over as underestimating how badly everybody would want to be your friend.

For your skills that you bring.

You've done this twice.

Yeah.

Like, it's kind of like having a blend.

Everybody, I feel like girls

become even closer with their mothers once they have babies because, like, they're a wealth of knowledge.

So, you're a combination of both.

I wouldn't be insecure at all.

No, and like, the way I see it when I'm like at the playground or I'm meeting other moms and stuff, it's like, if our kids are the same age, we are the same age.

I don't even like think about if you're younger than me or older than me, I just think about like, oh, your kids are older than ours, so we're like not compatible.

But, like, if our kids are the same age, we are the same age.

it's so true parenting is very um it's like an equilibrium is that the right word equalizing it's a great equalizer okay

like no matter who you are where you're from how much money you have like we all are just sort of like dealing with the same thing and like someone could be

someone could be younger than me and have older kids than my kids and it's like well they're just like older than me like wiser it's really about the children and so i think you're overthinking it completely like if i see someone especially when we started talking birthdays if we're like right around the same month and the kids are born i'm like oh my gosh play date.

Totally.

You're overthinking it.

And I do, I feel the analogy, right?

About like the, you know, adult who went back to college and like none of the kids want to be friends.

That's not you.

No.

That's not you.

No.

You're fine.

Thank you.

You want to be friends with all these like young people who are like, you know, nervous, like ruins for the first time.

All right.

Dear Jackson Turd, I'm 29 and chronically single.

My last boyfriend was when I was in college and it really wasn't serious.

My friend and her husband live a few states away, about a 14-hour drive.

Her husband plays rugby and they had this new guy join the team.

They have hung out with this man once, but my friend is convinced that this is the guy for me.

Me too.

Am I crazy if I get on a plane to go one to go watch one of their local rugby games with the hopes of sparking up a conversation with this man after the game is over?

It seems totally insane, but the dating pool is abysmal.

And this seems like really the only glimmer of hope that I have.

Sincerely, a very girly swirler.

Seriously, what are you doing here?

Like, buy your ticket.

Run.

Joey, run.

Joe, listen, love waits for nobody.

And I love that you're, okay, yeah, you're technically getting on a plane to like potentially meet this guy who you've never met, but you're also going to visit your friend.

Yeah, exactly.

Like, at worst, you have a great weekend away with your best friends who live far away and you don't ever see.

At best, you have a great weekend away and you meet the love of your life.

Go, girl.

Like, seriously, I'll send you the miles.

There's really no downside.

100%.

Because you could visit your friend anyway.

And I'm going to assume that, like, your friend knows that this guy is single and that he would be like open to meeting you.

And so it's not like a complete a waste of time triple check that like he's not married or whatever I'm like yeah but still like you could go and visit your friend like you don't need permission to go and do that and meet someone like leave goodbye a hundred percent and this is not desperate like sometimes first of all charge you get a guy and second of all like sometimes you have to do great big things

For love.

Yeah.

And I think like a setup like this where your friend who knows you so well like is saying like this guy would be good for you is you know worth 10 random dates.

Of course.

A setup is such a golden opportunity.

You have to take it, even though this is not technically a setup.

Bon voyage.

Yeah, seriously, save flight.

You know what?

I've actually.

I'm going to do one more because today's like, I feel like we're kind of obvious, you know?

Oh, okay.

The theme was obvious.

Hey, Swirlies, I got married last November and I've been trying to conceive now for 10 months and I'm in hell.

My husband's brother got married one month before us, conceived right away.

They had their baby this summer.

He's the cutest peach.

But recently, I heard my brother-in-law saying, I'm scared that our son isn't going to have any cousins his age.

And it really set me spiraling.

Like, you're scared?

What about me?

Am I being overly sensitive because trying to conceive is so emotional and exhausting?

Or should I talk to my in-laws about how hard this has been for us and ask them to be more sensitive?

Your brother-in-law has to go to jail.

He has to go to jail.

You're not being overly sensitive.

That's such.

a fucking annoying thing to say.

And like stupid because, I mean, do they know that you're trying?

If they do or they don't, like the difference of 10 months, like 11 months, 12 months, like when the kids are like actually kids is really not that much.

Oh, and now it's so dramatic.

Not gonna have cousins.

Joe.

Like seriously, like

that's like the type of person who's looking for things to worry about.

First of all, your kid's gonna be totally fine.

Totally fine.

It's so insensitive.

You are absolutely valid in your feelings.

How do we handle this?

Um,

I think run it up the chain to the husband, to the parents, snitch.

Of course, not your responsibility because this is your husband's brother

and therefore your husband's problem.

Yeah, tell your husband to snitch on him to his parents that he's like being out of control and being insensitive.

And like, who does he think he is?

Who do you think?

Shake it, move it.

Who do you think?

That's Dear Toasters.

You guys are weekly by segment.

Feel free to write us in.

Dear Toasterstersgmail.com or head to our website, thetoastpodcast.com.

That's also our show.

Thank you so much for listening to the Toastmillen Morning Show where we're dealing with the fastest eating tonight every Monday Friday.

You do if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe.

Please give me a thumbs up.

We're also available as podcasts and where podcasts can be found.

So that's Spotify, Twitch, Titcher, Public Review.

I already guys watched the place available.

Let's see the podcast federal toast and fast story review.

I bet a beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are.

Love ya.

Bye.

Leave a message.

Start the season with Etsy and make your holiday traditions extra special.

On Etsy, you'll discover original pieces from small shops that will help you celebrate your way.

Shop Etsy for holiday decor that makes you feel seen.

Special starts on Etsy.

Tap the banner to shop now.