As Ever, With Love, Orchard: Tuesday, February 18th, 2025

Good morning, millennials, and welcome back to The Toast. Happy Tuesday that feels like a Monday, because yesterday was a bank holiday that we, of course, observed in the most honorable and respectful of ways.
Thank you to all the presidents, whoever, you know, served, did their thing. And it's Tuesday, it feels like a Monday.
It's the beginning of a new week, beginning of a party week where Jackie and I, well, first of all, hey, Jax, how are you? Hey, turtle-oo, I'm good, thank you. Yes, I am here.
Things, plans changed, changed as they often do around these parts we let the chips fall where they may and i am still in florida now i'm supposed to be back after the wedding today back in studio back to our beloved frames yeah um and of course i'm not and i know there's like a running joke like every time turdy comes to florida she ends up like extending i really was not planning on it i really was not planning she planning. She said up, down, left, right, center.
Like I'm not coming to see you. Like I'm not doing.
Don't count on me. Yeah.
No, I'm seriously like not coming. So we planned accordingly and lo and behold.
The thing is, I really wasn't expecting the physical implications of a five day Moroccan wedding to hit me so hard. You know, as a pregnant person, the idea of waking up after the wedding and going on a plane, it was just kind of unfathomable.
And I'm like, what am I going home for? Besides for Romeo, I don't really have much waiting for me back in New York. So I figured I would spend a couple of days here at the beach, extended with Ben.
We're staying at a hotel. We're not staying at Jackie's.
So it's still very much like vacation energy, but we've met in the middle. We're also testing out all the different podcast studios Southern Florida has to offer today.
There are a lot. By the way, so many options.
You'd love to see the business of podcasting booming. Business is booming.
I like to think that's our influence, but we never know. We're happy to be here in a new setup, a great American tour of podcast studios.
I like sitting across from a desk from you. I know, it intense.
It's giving news desk, the morning breath. It is giving.
I also love having the lower half of my body behind a desk. Like what the lower half of my body looks like these days is of really no interest to me or anyone.
Yeah, no, definitely dress differently for this environment. Yes.
Yes. Every podcast studio, podcast studios are more personal than comedy.
I know more personal than food. This particular podcast studio has a lot of natural light which i'm feeling a little nervous about just because i'm not in a state where like i'm loving how i look naturally so i am wearing sunglasses if you're watching on youtube you're like why is this girl wearing sunglasses i'm just i'm feeling a little subconscious i also like i'm doing a slick back button like who the fuck do i think i am we're a little nervy we're we're giving like Nervous Curlies.
Nervy Menties. Mentie B.

Honestly, name a phrase I dislike more than menti b when I was watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Kyle Richards said that she had had a menti b and she did have a mental breakdown did she say I had a mental breakdown or had a quote empty b empty b but now that I'm saying it I'm like is it an acronym menti b she said she had and this is like a 55 year old woman invalidated everything she'd been through up until this point yeah yeah like that is such an unserious term agreed for such a serious condition it's really true i don't know how they got away with that wow and it just like delegitimizes in my eyes like everything wait speaking of real house Hills, I saw, I don't know, you know, I get a lot of like AI generated Bravo news. So I saw, I think it was Kathy Griffin, who's friends with Lisa and Harry Hamlin said that when they were in Amsterdam and you know, we don't want to talk about the husband and everybody's like, well, what was Kim going to say about Harry Hamlin?

Apparently this AI generated news story said that Harry Hamlin, this is from the mouth of Kathy Griffin, that Kim Richards was going to say something about Harry Hamlin having sex with dogs.

Hmm.

Not what I expected.

Of course not.

She should have just said it.

And now we've said it.

The fact that Lisa didn't let her say that?

To make, right.

It would have invalidated her a thousand percent.

Huh.

Huh. So we have a Pardy show today, right.
It would have invalidated her a thousand percent. Huh.
Huh. So we have a Pardy show today.
Actually, it's Tuesday, which means we have Dear Toasters, our advice segment. We also have White Lotus recap.
So the new season of White Lotus started on Sunday. Jackie and I both watched the first episode last night.
Unfortunately, we did, yeah. Yeah.
And do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. I didn't enjoy the episode and I wasn't sure if it was because I wasn't sure if it was because like before the episode even started I was disappointed where was the song I know they kind of remixed it they know it's a totally new song they put a little regional flair on it I thought okay but the last two seasons were in different parts of the world, Italy and America, and they both have the same theme song.
I just think they are trying something new. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
So we'll do a little bit of a TV recap in the fifth and final story. Is that correct? Yes, we will.
Let me just tell you, I spent the weekend at this beautiful, I would say parjilicious, definicious wedding, which I don't know if I mentioned was my friend, Alicia, who's Moroccan. Of course.
And actually the groom was Syrian. I was on the cusp of forgetting.
Right, right. Thank you for reminding me.
Oh, and the groom is Syrian. Yeah, so it was very kind of like multicultural.
And it was reminding me a lot of my big fat Greek wedding because my friend Alicia, she has this huge family and they're like really Moroccan. Both of her parents are Moroccan and they're so proud.
And they really remind me a lot of the family from my big fat Greek wedding um and how like Alicia married someone who wasn't Moroccan but like in his 23 year Miller but she did marry an Ian Miller because her husband has like a very small strain of Moroccan in his blood and like the whole weekend different speeches they were all just sort of like clinging to his little piece of Moroccan I didn't know he had like a little bit of Moroccan in himself it was cracking me up so much her family's so funny and the wedding was just pargy like you know when you meet like you know someone like for I've noticed in some of the eighth grade like to me she's always just like my friend from the eighth grade but you see her like you know grown into a woman and a bride woman she had like she had a chignon like she looked so she's a very elegant lady but she's just Alicia from eighth grade that's what I'm saying it was kind of like confusing um it was really parche and it was just fab but I really wasn't expecting I feel like I feel like I hit an inflection point in my pregnancy like at the same time as the wedding where like things are harder for me as of like a week ago I really can't stand much just like a fun fact about me well you should sit more that's what I've been saying yeah just in general but specifically was it hard for you to find a seat okay actually I thanked Ben like um after the wedding because there were so many wedding festivities and once we got to every place I'm like Ben I will go say hi to the bride go find a seat the idea of being without a seat and someone like and so many of the girls there were pregnant and they're like more visibly pregnant than me so when you have like a really round bump, people get up for you, right? I wear a lot of flowy clothes. My bump isn't super bulbous.
And so I'm not the type of gal you just get up for. So I find myself rubbing my tummy.
I do feel like outside of pregnancy, you're the kind of gal one gets up for. Oh, wow, thank you.
The queen is coming. Right, right, no.
And I thought you were gonna say say outside of pregnancy, I'm the type of girl who like a skill set of mine is finding a seat.

That too.

But I just feel like if we're in a group, like even if we're in a group of friends and

there's one chair and none of us are pregnant, like it's for Claudia.

I'm so glad you said that.

I actually agree.

I am a sitter.

Like, and I'm also really special in the sense that I can find a chair anywhere.

Like yesterday we were waiting for our car at valet at the hotel,

and I literally sat on a luggage cart.

Anything can be a chair if you really, really try hard enough.

Yeah.

So as long as you're finding what you need, you should be okay.

Yeah.

And I know you just missed me so much,

and you just weren't ready to part with me.

Well, you threw a beautiful birthday party for your son yesterday,

and I was really thrilled to be able to attend.

I wasn't going to.

So many times you weren't coming. Because it's so crazy to me.
Like your children are my life and like every time they like fart we come down and we celebrate. Right.
So I would like I threw a birthday party. But I was being selfish.
I said listen. Yeah.
No no no. And I was like okay yeah you can't come to like every single party.
It's a kids party. Whatever.
But just due to all the different circumstances like everyone wound up coming to this party and it was already such like a pargy event, like really fun. I love a kid's party.
And then my family was there and it was so beautiful. You did a really nice job.
Like them kids, they were just having the time of their life on their rocket ship. They were literally playing in all the blow up stuff as they were breaking it down.
Like the rental company was breaking down the bouncy house and the kids were like, nope, we're still here. Okay, we'll go to the next one.
Yeah, so you go and break that down. They throw a great kids party thank you I really enjoy doing it I do hire a party planner because I can take that on and I make it as easy as possible for myself and I would recommend doing so because it was just I had so much fun it was space themed Zach and I wore like NASA jackets we were all like dressed like a little space family I also feel like it's definitely a fine line between like throwing a party that's like fun and then extravagant.
Of course, $60,000. Of course, you don't want to be Taylor Armstrong.
Correct, it comes to mind. And I feel like you do it really perfectly where it's definitely like extravagant, but it's all for the kids.
There's like a coffee bar for the adults and it's like a super nice party, but it's like nice because there's so many fucking activities for the kids. You know, there's not like gift bags with Chanel perfume.
Right. You really do it well.
It's a fine line. Yeah.
And it's just like a couple of things, like a ball pit, a bouncy house, like the regular stuff and they'll have fun. Not to put Margot Washer on blast, but I had a coffee cart and like the whole theme of the party was like outer space.
So the coffee cart had a sign that said space coffee. Just to be like a part of the party.

Like it wasn't like, it was just like thematic.

And Margot is like, what's space coffee?

It's getting like chicken of the sea.

I'm like, it's just coffee at a space birthday party.

Right.

It's just like, it's just a theme.

It's like really about her same for such.

She's so funny.

No, it was so nice to all be together. Like so randomly on this one afternoon.
The photographer was like, let me get a picture of the sisters. I was like, oh, my sisters are here.
All present and accounted for. It's seriously crazy of us.
It was so random. It was so nice.
It was so nice. It was so, so nice.
It was a really nice weekend. And we got to spend the day together after we worked really hard on Friday.
Oh yeah, guys, what did you think? Friday's episode, we had a special new studio. We were really just kind of banging out content clips.
What did you think? And tomorrow we'll find out what you thought of this one. Exactly.
We celebrated game tunes with so much love and tunage. Did you celebrate game tunes? I did not celebrate game tunes in an official capacity.
No, me neither. And at what time of day did your husband wish wish you happy game tunes so i clocked it because i could tell he had no idea and then when we were all by the pool i was like do you have anything to say to me and he was like you look pretty happy anniversary um and then he realized and it was 2 37 p.m i clocked at the time that he remembered it was Valentine's Day after being prompted.

Could be worse.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Could be better.

Listen, he dropped the ball on Valentine game tunes.

Did you get flowers?

I got flowers in the evening.

Like, I don't know where he plucked. Like they picked up the remaining roses from the floor of the flower shop.

Like the neighbor had already thrown hers away and he doesn't have the bin.

But yesterday was our anniversary.

And so he really made up for it with cards and he got me the most beautiful flower arrangement.

Oh, that's nice.

So it was nice.

Thank you. had already thrown hers away and he doesn't have the bin.
But yesterday was our anniversary. And so he really made up for it with cards and he got me the most beautiful flower arrangement.
Oh, that's nice. So it was nice yesterday to have the party and then also be like a celebration of our anniversary and just a nice moment.
This week is always, you know, our big, but we still haven't gone out for our dinner, I'll say. You have a bunch of like important events in your life, like all in the same week.
Yes. Valentine's Day, Harry's birthday, your wedding anniversary.
Do you like you like that i do because it's always just like a really nice special week and i look forward to this time of year plus it's around like president's day so sometimes we'll do a staycation do a little something um i really i do like it because i'm sure it'd also be nice if it was all spread out but we have other stuff you know i don't want to be like an ingrate um you don't like your timing well you know what i was just thinking about mother's day is like i think my first mother's day god willing god willing bruch hashem lian hara will be when my kid is one years old like or like 11 months whatever it is i think i just miss it yeah and then i have to like wait a whole ass year to be appreciated oh but you'll be having father's day probably the next month that ain right. Not to sound like Matt of Matt and Abby, but I do feel like we should skip Father's Day 2024.
It's only right. I completely agree.
Like a month after, God willing, God willing, God willing, like I go through the trauma of labor. No, I- You get celebrated? I just want you to know.
God willing, God willing, God willing. God willing, God willing.
God willing. I am not texting Ben that day.
Good. I am not.
You better not get a, I'm so sorry, Ben, but like this has to be. It has to be this way.
It has to be like a calendar year. And you don't, you do not get him from a card.
I could just see you being like, he's been so amazing. He probably will be.
Like, I should get him a gift, okay? I totally will. Also, speaking of Matt and Abby, have you heard about their latest scandal? No, what are they up to, those crazy kids? So they released a podcast episode.
And I just want to say, they have a lot going on, but we don't talk enough about how high quality their content is. Even his cringe music videos, I don't know what sort of equipment he's using, if they have a director of cinematography that works for them.
We need a director of cinematography. That's what I'm saying.
Everything they put out is so pargy. put up this clip and i reach out to them they live in phoenix so like i don't know if we'd be able to work with this person no but just like to understand their like workflow yeah no not for their person but just for their workflow like how do you keep the content consistent in pargy i just think you have to be crazy um so he even put up this podcast clip and i know that it wasn't the point of the podcast clip but i was thinking like and well-made this clip was.
It was kind of, it felt like there was a camera on the ceiling and he's laying on a mattress on the floor in his closet. And he opens up with everybody that he has been sleeping in the closet.
And that's not a metaphor. I'm sorry, it sounded like it was.
He brought them, the crazy part is that, so him and Abby aren't sleeping in the same bed. Which, by the way, is like whatever.
But instead of sleeping in the guest room, he took the mattress from the guest room and put it in the closet. Because? The clip was very much like a teaser for the podcast episode, which I did not listen to in full.
And every person I talk to about this in comment section I read, nobody actually listened, nobody knows why. They're just like, why are you sharing this? And why didn't you just sleep in the guest room well I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason as there always is as there always is with Matt and Abby but they're like rage bait click baiters and they want you to listen to the podcast and I'm not going to give into it I'm not gonna be like oh my god he's so crazy like I'm sure there's a perfectly logical in Matt's brain reason right there's like a mouse in the guest room yeah or like there's a mouse in the closet and he's like trying to trap it.
Totally. It's just like something so Matt.
So Matt. Are you more of a Matt or an Abby? You are such an Abby.
I am an Abby. Because you are such a Matt.
I know. And that's why we're too successful podcasting too.
You can either be a Matt or an Abby. You're totally an Abby, because like, and I think this is the lore on the internet,

it's like Abby does so much.

She's like a really,

really invested mom and businesswoman,

and she's like a fitness,

she's one of those people where it's like,

how does she have enough time in the day to be doing all of this?

And then it just seems like Matt's in the closet

working on his music,

which is so me.

Which is so you.

And I can't stress enough

how he's physically in a closet. It's not like a gay thing.
It sounds like he's in the closet. No stress enough how he's physically in a closet it's not like a gay thing it sounds like he's in the closet no no he's literally in the closet yeah he's in the closet as in a physical space i understand not a place okay it just sounds like i'm being like you're like i'm calling him gay yeah i'm not no it's just the closet right the closet is also a physical place in addition to a figurative one.
A mental place. A mental place as well.
I understand. Well, I think that's enough Matt and Abby talk.
Good speed to Matt and Abby. Good luck.
Good speed. Good Godspeed.
Also good speed. I hope you catch that mouse.
Trirade. Trirade.
And I think, without further ado to do, it is time? It is time. Yeah, I think so.
We've got a lot to talk about. We've got a lot to do today.
White Lotus, Deer Toasters. Oh, yeah, Deer Toasters.
Deer Teisters. Are you being like really slow? Give me your phone.
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Thank you, Tert. You're welcome.
Tert Ranchers. Those are some of the best ranchers, not to be biased, obviously.
But if you're going to shop a specific rancher, I would recommend Turt Rancher. Our first story, SNL 50 went off this weekend.
You were looking for the celebrities. They were all at SNL 50.
Except for Turtie. She was at a wedding that was both Moroccan and Syrian.
Of course. But the Syrian had also Moroccan in him as well.
Correct. Very Mueller so I would say it was like would you say 60 40 Moroccan to Syrian in terms of the guests in terms of the the vibes just like in terms of the lineage of the couple because he has a little bit of Moroccans no I would say it was like 90 10 oh he has 40 percent Moroc 40% Moroccan.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, sorry. Yeah.
Yeah. 60, 40.
60, 40 feels right. Yeah.
Cool. Cool.
Cool. So everyone else was at 51, 49.
Like that's how it was. He was just like a little bit of Moroccan.
Everyone else was at Snell 50. They really made the most of this moment.
I don't know who decided like, Hey, let's have like the biggest deal moment for our 50th anniversary. I remember SNL 40 and it was also a really big deal.
I agree, but not like this. No, not like this.
But maybe I just wasn't super socially conscious at SNL 40. I was 20 years old.
I probably had better things to do. I feel like I remember SNL 45.
And that was just like, hey, we're 45. Yeah, I don't think 45 should be like as big as 50 or 40.
But everyone really has like a really big 50th birthday. So like all the celebrities who have ever hosted SNL, like everyone was there in the audience.
They had a three hour live show. They also had like another thing the night before.
Yeah, I thought that was the thing. And like Miley performed, what the fuck was that? At Radio City.
I don't know. And also, I feel like while it's super impressive to like sit back and look at like the legacy of this one particular show, I feel like it didn't paint current SNL in the most positive light because it just sort of reminded me of like how many iconic people have come through that door, how much like culture they actually changed and influenced and how many like references and comedy and even how many movies ended up getting made from like things that started on SNL, like Wayne's world, like superstar, right? Mary Catherine Gallagher.
Yes. And like that era of SNL is so over now.
It's like a fun show. People like it makes like cultural buzzy moments, but it's so doesn't have the impact that it once did.
So while it's cool to like look back and celebrate, I was like, Oh, we're pulling, you know, Domingo espresso. You know that sketch? Yeah.
Well, we all enjoyed enjoyed it it's not even remotely as like viral

well it is viral but like impactful as some of the past sketches that have went on to become like

billion dollar franchise movies yes i agree so is that what they did they redid old sketches

kind of because i saw the sabrina one i saw like bits and bobs of they brought people back to like

revitalize iconic sketches that like have lived in the snl hall of fame they brought um famous

Let's see. one I saw like bits and bobs of they brought people back to like revitalize iconic sketches that like have lived in the SNL hall of fame they brought um famous people who have co-hosted like they've they just sort of like played up on their own history and for three hours yeah there were performances as well um different monologues so it was a lot yeah okay so a few of the noteworthy moments that I've seen because I didn't watch the whole thing but it was on like zach was watching it so i i caught a little bit i've seen some stuff online like blake lively and ryan reynolds were there that's kind of like the headline not only did they show up but like ryan participated in like a bit in the monologue little where who was the person talking to him oh so funny like irrelevant we don't even know i actually don't even remember oh it was the girl it was Tina Fey and Amy Poehler they were like oh Ryan so many celebrities Ryan Reynolds is here and he stood up and he's like hey everyone and they're like Ryan how are you and there he's like fine what have you heard and I have seen like pretty much 50-50 uh reception I thought it was actually one of my favorite things when a celebrity is going through like a big scandal is to like face it head-on make a joke I think that's a really good PR move um I just think if you hate Ryan Reynolds and you think Blake Lively is like a disgusting woman who made up her sexual harassment then you hated this and if you feel like they have been if you're like team Blake or you just like don't care I think it's I thought it was a good PR move like yeah I just they've been like hiding and that makes you look guilty.
I agree. I do think it's a net positive.
I'm someone who's like been pretty much team like, but now I'm like, yeah, Jackie's like tiptoeing out of the room. Actually, I've been doing it quietly.
Like I'm letting you guys know, like I am. You're sharing your thought process.
Flip flop flippity flopping on this because I don't know these people. I don't know the situation.
I don't understand it. So anytime someone says something, I'm bad you make a good point I'm like that's really bad that you did that yeah not a good thing so I feel like I'm actually in that sense unbiased I'm not I'm not stuck on a team that I now can't get off of so for my POV this was good for them to just like see them out to see them laugh about it the only thing that I thought was a little confusing was like Blake's reaction to that everyone said she was in on the bit ryan's not standing up without her knowing about it but she's not that good of an actress okay that is sure she is a particularly bad actress um however there's literally i know zero chance in hell he ryan reynolds forced blake to go to this event and didn't tell her about this bit that was going to be televised referencing this huge scandal that has rocked their world.
A thing that they talk about every day that they can't leave their house. This is their, Jackie, there's no fucking way.
I know, I know that logically. Yes, a lot of people.
But watching it, that was a look of genuine shock. What? And confusion and horror.
And so a lot of people thought that like Ryan, and so this also does play into a big theory of people who are team Justin being like, Ryan is charge of this whole thing he ruined the movie he rewrote the script Blake is a victim of Ryan's and so this sort of only feeds that theory I think there's literally no chance in fucking hell that she didn't know about it I do agree with you and I have seen things turn towards this is like a Justin versus Ryan situation and like Ryan bamboozled Justin just like he does Blake and I just want to go back to what we thought about these two a year ago before any of this ends with us because the blinds we have long referenced this one particular blind item about this couple crazy days and nights auntie lawyer I never like cared about Ryan Reynolds or Blake Lively. They weren't celebrities in my periphery.
And the only thing I sort of knew about them was this one blind item we had read 10 years ago. Just stuck with you.
That Ryan Reynolds was really controlling, that any script that came into their house was vetted by him. And any movie she ended up doing was he approved.
And that made sense why he did like, why she does the worst fucking movies ever. And it was just something like I read and just believed and like stuck with me.
And then this whole thing has caused me to like look at them differently. And I'm like shifting my perspectives, but it's kind of coming back to that.
We mustn't forget about that blind item. Yeah.
So that's a theory too. And that also I think would be a relief for people who don't want to think like Blake is that bad of a person because they're like oh it's Ryan right she's just being manipulated yeah but I don't know now like I also hate theories like that because it's just like you're operating under the assumption that like this woman successful businesswoman mother of four has no agency over her own life right right and I actually don't think that anymore it's but in seeing her in interviews and the way that she talks like i i do see her differently yeah but something i know there's a something there there was also a lot of like interpersonal relationships um different conflict conflicts at snl 50 pete davidson and kim kardashian were both there and i actually saw a video of them at the after party which looked like the probably more the most amount of famous people to be in a room like an actually famous people not like you know uh socialites like really really famous people all in one room kim and pete like kind of like the met gala but probably even more famous people because there was also probably people that wouldn't ordinarily get invited to the met and half the met gala that's what i meant like high society.
We don't know you. Yeah.
But I'm sure you're very wealthy. Museum patrons.
Right. This was just such like really, if you weren't there and you're a celebrity right now, like best of luck to you.
Like it was really the who's who. So I would imagine that anyone who's ever hosted got invited and everyone who's ever performed.
Like no, actually. So many people have hosted and I don't feel like they were all there.
also, there were some people, like famous castmates who weren't even there. I saw a lot of people upset that Nassim Pedrad wasn't there.
Not everyone was there. Maybe they didn't want to go.
Yeah, maybe. Is there beef? Aubrey Plaza was there, which I think a lot of people found to be really shocking.
She just did a very brief, I think she introduced Miley um given that her husband just she just went through something really tragic like a month or two ago um but yeah everyone was there so Kim and Pete and I saw a video of them like literally walking by one another without acknowledging now maybe they had already said hello this was just one moment in time but I just kept thinking about that thing you told me about the episode of Kardashians where she said like the minute she worked up with Pete was when he suggested she stopped working so I'm like maybe these two did end like not well yeah no or work less I actually feel like they probably ended fine I don't know if I'm serious yeah but it was so serious so nothing was ever more serious no I saw like some crowd shots and it's weird it's like Kim Kardashian oh my god and then in front of her is Lady gaga oh my god and then like adam driver sitting there in the tux like just so crazy it was also a big night for um power couple martin short and meryl street yeah they were both there separately and together you love to see her showing up supporting her man yeah so i do think that snow 50 like had the effect that the intended effect people wanted wanted it to have. They had their moment.
Bill Murray, the great Bill Farrell. They also had their documentary too.
So there's a lot of just news coming out and old clips resurfacing and behind the scenes tidbits. So everyone's talking about Snow.
I'm happy for them. The show fucking stinks all the time.
I know. Just make it better, hire better people.
Bring it back, restore it to its glory maybe. Maybe this would be a good reminder of that.
that yeah that's what I'm saying like it really highlighted this thing that was once great and it's still here and I know there are like people who really like it but I think overall like you can't deny that the impact of SNL on like comedy on American culture is nominal compared to what it once was and that's so cool to see like Chevy Chase there he's like really like the biggest thing to ever come out out. Chevy, I love Chevy.
He's so chevalicious. Yeah.
And like, who is the Chevy Chase? Do you know what I mean? Of today? Of course. Because I like to think of like the biggest male lead right now on SNL.
Of course it's Mikey Day. It's Keenan.
But like Keenan doesn't have, like Keenan had a. Keenan's not a movie star.
I know. He's an SNL star.
He did a sitcom and it didn't like it didn't do well. It's I just think SNL's like

impact is not what it was. No it's Mikey Day.
It's a thousand percent Mikey Day. It's always

Mikey Day. And it's always been Mikey Day okay.
Get that finger out of my face we're so close.

Hey. Hand heart.

Okay.

We should bring back the hand hug.

Do we?

My palms are a little sweaty.

It's hot in here.

Yeah.

We're just working hard.

We're hardworking ladies out of the office.

I'm working late.

I can't believe I didn't even talk about my commute.

Like, let me tell you.

Jackie commuted to work today.

As somebody who works from home, like this is revolutionary.

What podcast did you listen to?

As somebody who works from home, I was listening to the short and sweet bonus tracks tracks but then i realized i can't listen to new music on a new drive i need familiarity these streets yeah so i went back to f1 trillion but as someone who has always lived in a city but i never had my license i have never in my life driven myself to work to work oh my gosh does it ever get old um i think it It does actually like quickly oh my god me and my coffee with my lipstick like hey wave to your neighbors took two highways to get here what's going on yeah it does get old hey truckers what's good i think it's at first something like exciting and then it's uh just a 20 minute dread fest i'm living the dream she's so american it. It was so exciting.
Like I just, oh my gosh, you guys, you and Tessie, me and Tessie, we had a great drive over here. Next time we'll like, we'll work some coffee into the route, but you know, I just wanted to get, I wanted to get my route mapped and Tessie definitely took me like a crazy way.
There were so many turns when there did not need to be so many turns. She wanted to see me turn.
I'm like, girl, stop. She said, do a flip.
I said, Tessie, stop challenging me. I can just see you in the Tesla like talking to your car.
I'm getting a new car soon. And I feel like I haven't even made a big deal about it.
No, you haven't. Even though I did a whole vlog test driving different cars.
You have made a somewhat of a big deal. I was this close to getting the Cybertruck.
This like seriously, if Jerry had called me on a different day, like it would have been the Cybertruck. And for those who don't know, Jerry is your local sales associate at Tesla.com.
Yeah, he's like the guy who's been assigned to my account. He's been so patient with me really talking through all the options.
But at the end of the day, Jerry and I decided that I love my car. Like I seriously wouldn't change a hair on its head.
I'm so happy. I'm so comfortable.
And you and Jerry like need to do what's best for you and Jerry. Right.
Of course. And of course what's best for me is what's best for Jerry because like he'll get the commission.

Commission's commission.

And I told him like I am Tesla loyal.

Like you don't have to worry about me going somewhere else.

But like let's talk it through.

Cybertruck, Model X, Model Y.

But you know I do want a little new something.

I've had the car two years.

Luckily they make a new Model Y now.

Luckily.

So I have an extension.

I've had my car for two years. So I'm on a lease extension until the new Model Y drops.
So I'm getting my car, but like the newer version. They say it looks like a Cybertruck.
I haven't heard that. I haven't heard that.
So yeah, I'll have to commute in that one. See how it goes.
Big things coming. Big things coming.
Big things. You know who else has big things coming? Meghan Markle.
Okay. Not only does she things coming she's embracing transparency she is embracing transparency and i want her to go back the other way oh wow i want her to go back into opaqueness because this is too much that she's telling us without telling us enough first of all she has her new business launching as she said she posted a video formerly american riviera orchard yeah i feel like people might not be putting this together because it took me a minute same american riviera orchard which was launched almost a year ago because i remember that was the week that you were off and i was talking about it with like stassi everyone came on the show i'm like let's talk about it so and that was in april so almost a year ago aro then nothing came of it and it was supposed to be like a jam company it was supposed to be like where it's like a million things it started with jam but then it went nowhere I think there was even get much we just got like a logo I think there were trademark issues and she had to like stop what she was doing so now it has been rebranded it's called as ever now if you've been following Megan as an influencer for the last two weeks you will see she signs her posts as ever oh I didn't even put that together I thought what you were gonna say if you've been following Megan's new career well actually revitalized career as an influencer you wouldn't be surprised to know that like she shared all this information on her Instagram and my Instagram must know that like I die for these videos because every time she posts it's the first thing that comes up in my feed and recently I've been getting like strangers in my feed have you? Always like every fourth thing is something from the algorithm.
Every first thing it's like someone's engaged I'm like wait who do I know who got engaged or a baby people i've never heard of with 300 likes who are you literally who are you so the first thing i saw this morning was megan and i was like oh my god freaking and i thought it was just gonna be like another one of her sort of mindless billy eilish lunchbox videos but this one was kind of full of of tea if you will i think she wanted you to think it wasn't a big deal but it was a very big deal but she was being really. Not only like her spilling the beans that American Ruby or Orchard, whatever the company is her company, but also like Netflix invested in it, which I thought was really interesting.
Yeah. So she's doing her show with Netflix and then she's also doing her business with Netflix.
Now she kept using the word business like Romy and Michelle do. Like I've got a business.
What kind of business y'all in? Seriously, what kind of business y'all in? You know, calling it a business as opposed to like a company is weird. She kept saying like, I have my show and I have my business and my business and my business.
It's like, what kind of business y'all in? So she's going to have to clear that up. What's so crazy to me is that they chose American Riviera, which I'm sure it was Q score tested, focus groups, et cetera, lawyers.
They didn't check the trademarks? No. And the fact that that was like a non usable name, because she said in in her transparent video which i do feel like is not all the way transparent which is why it's like go back to opaqueness she said if they did american riviera orchard which is like the nickname for montecito and her neighborhood she would have been limited to only sell like things that come from locally sourced in santa barbara says who you know that's not a good reason to change your And that's not the actual reason.
So the fact that she had to change her name before her business even launched is so crazy. It is, however.
When these businesses have been years in the making. However, let's not forget that one of the most successful, influential, billionaire status companies was once named Kimono.
True. It isn't necessarily, because i remember when that happened to skims i'm like this is the end like before they even launched it's such a like a bad omen um she got so much backlash cultural appropriation the mayor of tokyo yeah right and so we were like oh this company's never going to take off and you literally had forgotten about it up until right now like it it didn't hinder its success so it's not an automatic kibosh it's not an automatic i just want to say that was like a two-week period and it was very swift and like the it's crazy that no one like had the thought up until that point but like okay but this is like years years and the whatever stopped them from being able to use it like i just don't know how that didn't come up in the year's long process And she keeps saying, I've been waiting years to put this out.
Like what, why years? Yeah, it just sort of- You wanna launch a business, get started. You could put this in the file of like things Megan does from a business perspective that either never launch or don't make sense.
Like really it's so on brand for her to be honest. And I actually like this approach.
And she references the TIG in her video. She's like like for those of you who have been following me since the TIG you know like I love gardening crafting cooking etc and this is like a she just called the TIG oh yeah by the way let's talk about that because the TIG is actually a great name it is for like a blog and you I could see it turning into if I had like a pan and they're like what brand is it and I looked over as a TIG like I like that and it's hard to get recognition she already has that with like with like the OG fans.
But now everybody knows like Megan, who was a princess, also used to be a blogger. So why? Maybe she doesn't own it.
Like I have to. And also it would just be such like a nice homecoming type of thing.
Like back to her roots. Yeah.
I don't understand. Also, why not call it With Love, which is the name of her cooking show.
There are so many. And I said this a few weeks ago, there are so many isms in their world.

Under her umbrella.

Duke, Duchess, Royal Highlands, Harry, Meghan, Mountbatten.

Harvey?

Harry.

Harry, yeah.

Archwell, Archetype.

Yeah.

With Love, As Ever.

American Riviera Orchard, The Tig.

Sussex.

It's too much.

And also, With Love and As Ever, those are like- The same thing.

The same thing.

They're also like nothingisms.

They're like signatures.

They're not like hard names.

Yeah.

Thank you. Sussex.
Too much. And also like with love and as ever, like those are like.
The same thing. The same thing.
They're also like nothing isms. They're like signatures.
They're not like hard names. Yeah.
I also like don't love that the E in ever isn't capitalized. It is or it isn't.
It's not. And it's like bothering me.
That's interesting. In what I've seen.
Yeah. Every time she writes it, it's capital A lowercase e.
That's a pretty logo though. I want to say like the font is pretty it's like script yeah you can find that on instagram i mean you're such a hater i'm sorry like i've given her so much runway i was excited for the show i like i've been begging for the show the show's still not here the brand is a mess the show is still not here the brand is a mess these videos are a mess she't even make a video without cutting every three seconds.
The cuts were really bad in this one. After every phrase.
Like, it's just, she's being the person that, like, everyone said. She was.
To look out for. Mm-hmm.
Well, I'm holding space for multiple truths, you know? That's what you have to do. Yes.
As a fan of these two. By the way, if you are, like, a fan, and actually in moments like this, like, I often often think of Stassi Schroeder who is like a diehard Meghan Markle fan it must be really unexciting to be like a big Meghan Markle fan because it's so many announcements and no releases right it's kind of like what do they say like edging when you like masturbate to the point of ejaculation but you don't ejaculate like there's so much hype oh show company documentary book and then never comes podcast yeah where is the ejaculation i don't know where the ejaculation is and i'll leave you with that no it's a pretty good metaphor it is right and i've heard the term edging yeah i forgot i think i learned it in like a tv show i think i learned it in like a reel reels are so crazy real people are real people you know what it is reels is a little too filled with real people like i'm good yeah i know they think social media is a highlight reel like it's not real you know what i think i prefer it that way i prefer it that way alternative is just maybe like someone's edging experience was their highlight oh Oh, wow.
Okay. Pop off, queen.
Now that our phones are like sitting right next to us, we're going to get so much edging content. Stop.
Because it's picking up edging, edging, edging. I like to edge.
Sourdough, gardening. Meghan Markle.
Knitting, power tools. Let me take Jackie's phone.
I need you to be- Give me your phone. Meghan Markle positive.
Positive. We love Meghan Markle.
Meghan is a queen. The royals were wrong for what they did to Meghan.
Red 40. Nah.
Vaccines. We need to both be radicalized.
Wait, let me think. Let me think.
Oh, wait. Blake Lively, innocent.

Innocent Blake Lively.

Justin Baldoni, bad.

Interesting facts about the Titanic.

That I wouldn't mind.

Historical anecdotes I would find interesting.

Beef stew.

Beef stew recipes.

Oh, Pop-Tarts.

Cereal is good for you.

We like sugary cereal.

Sugary cereal is good for kids and adults especially pregnant women pregnant women can take advil thank you oh i need your phone still oh enjoy that was fun i hope you enjoy your new life you too by the way let me set you free from the shackles of health and wellness it's's true. You need to be unburdened by what has been.

But like, I actually think Megan falls into my bucket of life.

Definitely.

So I think it will be good for you.

And that's why I want her show to come.

And I want her products to like influence.

Yeah.

But like when there's nothing, I'm sorry.

I'm getting impatient.

I'm sorry for that. It's also really hard to like, our job is to talk about her.

And like, there's a lot to talk about, but there's also nothing to say. Because we have yet to see a piece of content no and like when you're rooting for it's like yeah she's got a netflix show and she's got a business with a capital b and it's like until that day comes she doesn't have those things it's fair and i've really been hyping up like this era of content creation for her you have i'm looking like a fool and i just have one now you know how.
Now you know how I feel. What kind of business you in? That's a good question.
What the fuck is she selling? I know she said, I know she said she's going to sell jams because quote, jam is my jam. Loved that.
What else is she selling? No, now you know how I felt. Well, feel.
When? Blake Lively. What about it? Like when you're rooting for someone so hard and they like kind of like it becomes hard and embarrassing.
Yeah. And I'm like because I don't freaking know these

people. I'm woman enough to say I'm out of here.
I just want to say I know a lot of people like

hate me for my Blake Lively takes and I've definitely pulled them back. And it's like,

oh, well, Claudia knows she's wrong. So she's not.
I'm really not afraid to admit when I've

wrong when I've been wrong. Like I was wrong that Travis Kelsey did know Taylor Swift.
Like I was

100% wrong about that. I have not been convinced.
And if I will keep you guys updated if I ever do get convinced I will be woman enough to say that I was wrong okay in this moment I know you guys don't agree with me I still stand firmly on where I was before like I do not think that this person is a good guy that's not the question I do think he did all those things I do think like Blake Lively yeah she's like a mean diva actress bitch I think I think she was the victim I'm sorry I do okay that's the question of both an online attack and an in-person attack by this like what who I think a freak unprompted well okay let's say she was a bitch no not. That's fine if she's a bitch.
Unprompted meaning like she wasn't on the attack. So then he attacked her.
Correct. Unprompted in that sense.
Correct. Okay.
Cool. Our next story, Craigie Conover is on the Tamron Hall show.
Oh yeah. Sorry.
I said it like bad news. No, it's just like Craig.
No, but also I forgot as a single man. It's been a lot of days since we did a show.
Cause this happened a few days ago i had forgotten about it it's been a lot of days i still didn't watch southern charm because now i'm going to batch them because my friend told me that this week in the bahamas episode is kind of like a primer for next week so i'm like that'll be more fun to watch together um but i do think that ever since that clip teased a page saying craig texting two bitches like craig's gonna kick it into high gear kick into high gear like hey guys I'm still Craigie like I wouldn't do such things yeah and up until this point he is definitely like people are divided especially like Paige is like a really loyal fan base for her podcast so people have like her fans have been on her side but for the most part like it's been pretty equal people really still like Paige people really still like Craig Craig hasn't I don't think received any sort of like backlash or anything because he has kind of been like perceived as the victim like he's the one who got broken up with so this is the first time where he's like kind of on the defense yeah because like nefarious behavior he has was alleged so on the tamarin hall show um she he was asked if he started dating again he said i'm trying to move forward so i downloaded a dating app and it one? Probably Raya. He said, it wasn't what I...
It didn't feel as good as I thought it would be, he said. He confirmed that he's matched with people, but he's not talked to anyone yet.
He said, I'm still healing on myself because I really did think I was going to spend my life with Paige and it's okay, but I don't think rushing into something, he began to say before cutting off his thoughts and changing his tune. He said, well, I don't know if the right person comes around while Tamron interrupted him and pointed out that he's giving mixed signals.
It's confusing. Yeah.
He acknowledged his differing views, but also explained that he has never done this before and is still just figuring it out. The weird new chapter.
He said, I just think for me, I think it's about going back to my routine and living my life. And if I meet someone through that, then just go with it.
But I'm not going to overthink it. I feel like I get what he's saying, which it's like, I'm not like I want to find someone.
I also recognize i'm ready but if the right person came around like i would be ready yeah but it also leaves a lot of space for the wrong person to come around and then him like give off bad energy time right but like if the perfect girl was in front of him but would he even be able to identify the perfect girl when he's not healed this was a quick turnaround from tamarind let me say that tv is known to like really sort of lag behind and it's not a live show um so good get yeah i feel like she's like stepping into bravo stuff a lot yeah is she like on the same network no i think she's on like fox five um what was i gonna say about this i feel like there's not a shortage of like nice girls who want to date Craig yeah so I really feel like he should work on himself but I'm sure there's also a nice queue of like girls who want to use Craig yeah and they might all look alike so he's gonna have to really have his picker strong yeah I also I had thought this and then I saw people on social media saying it when Paige is referencing the two different girls he was texting throughout the course of their relationship. I felt like the first girl she's referencing is Kristen Cavallari.
Okay. Like that is like the way they started their relationship.
Like we forgot, but like it was a little murky. Like he was talking to two girls at once and he decided to go with Paige.
So I feel like that might've been like a thing in their relationship, like the whole time. And she just like always remember, I feel like that might be one of the girls.
Yeah. I mean, it sounds bad the way that she said it.
Like I caught him texting two bitches. I need more information before I'm like gonna drop the gavel on it, you know, but that's disrespectful.
Right. We'll have to say.
But like, I also am going to trust my fave. I'm going to, I'm going to.
We need to hear the final episodes of both of their seasons. Whatever Craig says that I need to hear Paige's response to that.
The thing is, it seems like Paige is going to get the last word because Southern Charm is like in their, what, fifth or sixth episode and Summer House just premiered. So we'll hear at the very end of Southern Charm season, we'll hear what Craig has to say about the relationship.
That's a flaw. Him saying that he got the ring, whatever, making Paige look like the villain.
And then Paige will be able to respond being like, well, actually you were texting bitches yes or no. That's a flaw.
Add Paige's clips to the episode of Southern Charm. Just think about it, Bravo.
No, add... Wait.
Like, we're gonna watch Craig say whatever he says on Southern Charm. Then they should play pages.
It's the same, like, day that it happened. So, like, put the summer house footage in Southern Charm.
Yeah, yeah. Let them speak to one another.
Synergy. It's time to synergize.
I completely agree. Are you ready for our fourth story? Is it our fourth story that's brought to you by Vivrell? Yes.
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Sponsor being like what the fuck are you doing? I can see them backing out like seriously. What the fuck are you doing? This is what kind of business you in? What kind of business y'all in? Our next story.
Can I have some of your coffee? I've been eyeing it. Oh it's disgusting.
Enjoy. That's just been like sort of a problem with my commute is i was this was only my first it's been like a consistent issue after day one is that what you would say oh the coffee's like not good yeah well it's just like i said right it's not amazing you're not a good judge of coffee i know when something's disgusting well coffee is like gross let's so glad you said it real like it's not like actually tasty yeah people don't space coffee of course people need to treat coffee like they do alcohol you know yes no that's exactly what it is like you just drink it it's a means to an end i don't actually like the taste i like what it does for me right like even the world because i like sometimes like i unless i'm having like a vanilla bean macchiato frappuccino that's not coffee but even when i like crave like a really even really, even the world's best margarita, which like I love a margarita.
Yucky. Give me water.
It's like if you gave it to a child, the coffee or the, obviously you wouldn't give it to a child, but they would say that's gross. Yeah.
And so the first time I ever tried alcohol, like ever, like hard alcohol, I remember somebody gave it to me in like a water bottle. It looked like water.
I'm like, I didn't know what it was gonna taste like. And I thought for sure that somebody accidentally gave me like a bottle of gasoline.
And like, I didn't think, I'm like, there's no way this is what people drink in the movies. Right.
It's impossible. And it was like, wait, what the fuck? It was shocking.
Yeah. Well, our next story is also really shocking.
It's kind of the theme of the day. The Jonas Brothers have revealed Jonas Con, a one day fan event in New Jersey centered around the Jonas Bronis.
This makes me sad. In honor of their 20th anniversary.
Yes, you are old. If you are listening, you are old.
And I just want to say the Jonas Brothers put out a statement on the 20th anniversary, which was a couple of days ago. And I'm reading it.
I'm like, oh, my God, they're breaking up again. It was such like the way it was written.
It's very nerve wracking to be a Jonas Brothers fan.

Like don't get comfortable.

It's unsettling.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They cancel tours.

They cancel the band.

They can't fight.

Yeah.

They fight.

They can't look at each other on stage.

Like this is their last show.

This is how it ends.

I only like ever would be interested in having a body language expert on the toast.

If they can tell us what the hell is going on with the Jonas Brothers.

That's really funny.

In honor of their 20th anniversary, the Jonas Brothers are giving fans a once-in-a-lifetime experience. On February 14th, they announced that they'll host a special one-day event called JonasCon in their home state of New Jersey.
The event will feature live performances, DJ sets, Q&A panels, fan activations, pop-up surprises, immersive experience, and special guest appearances to celebrate the band's 20th anniversary. Now, of course, the Jonas Brothers will be there.
I should hope so. And I imagine they'll be playing, play my music.
Unclear. I just wanna play my music all night long.
Music in my soul. Remember they played that on Dick and Rock and Clark? Did, yeah.
So randomly. That's my favorite fucking Jonas Brothers song.
It's's so good it's camp rock we rock camp rock oh my god that's so crazy have you seen oh no that wasn't the allison stoner clip the allison stoner demi lovato i have i love them for that but the jonah's brothers like should be there performing unclear who else is performing like who's doing the q a's and the d DJ sets. They have a lot of DJ friends actually.
So I could see like, you know, the boys coming through. I just, I find my job really difficult because even like, and maybe people tune in for me to be like such a negative complaining bitch, but like every story I'm like, Megan's like, I hate it.
But, and I would just like to. I was the negative complaining bitch about Megan.
I think people tune in for the truth. So whatever that is.

I would love to be like, this is so great.

Jonas Brothers fans are going to have the best time.

But seriously, like, this is so lowbrow.

There's something particular.

I mean, it's giving TanaCon.

Remember when Tana Mongeau had, like, the most fucked up convention for her fans?

Like, people died on the streets.

Like, it's really something you do at the bitter end.

And the Jonas Brothers, and this is what I feel like I said about them the last time they're always doing it's like they don't know how famous they are they're always doing really weird like cash grabs cash grabs and I just feel like they always think it's the end because they don't know like what's gonna set off Joe and Nick next so it's like let's make the money live on the edge like just like their fans yeah and and like I remember um we were talking about this because I think a while ago what do my feet smell no I was wondering am I touching your feet I'm touching something okay you're touching my shoe I thought you smelled my feet or something oh my god no I'm just like playing footsies with something I was like is it her so I remember saying this like like maybe a year or two ago when the Jonas Brothers really decided to invest in TikTok and there's a very fine line between like being an artist on TikTok and then becoming a TikTok artist. And I think that like, you know, Meghan Trainor is a great example of somebody who was making TikTok music and then was actually just became a pop star, even though she was one before, but she used TikTok.
And I think that Jonas Brothers, like they're investing so much in TikTok. They're doing like collabs with different TikTokers.
I keep seeing a new one every day, like Joe Jonas popping up on all these random songs. They are doing things where they like really don't know how famous they are and this is one of them and while it's nice to like give back to your fans this to me is not why they're doing it it's very clearly like I actually don't know it just doesn't align with what I know the Jonas Brothers to be like this very famous band yeah Marshmello will be there correct even though like and that's the other thing about the Jonas Brothers there are a few people making music as good like i don't know why they're doing so much like what they feel like they have to prove something yeah i would i'll be curious to see like how many people like maybe this is like a big maybe they can make a couple mil in a day like bravo con yeah where everybody comes to see them they don't have to go on tour they do all have.
So it's like, this could be a good model. It could, it could.
That's a good way of looking at it. It just like doesn't sound like it.
And like, what's, it also depends. What's the venue? Like.
Right. Like the, like, is it premium? The Jap? Well, I think.
Is it like a convention center? That's not the vibe. Convention center is like giving retired, you know, come see your favorite stars from the eighties.
But there are conventions that are still really, like think of BravoCon. I also think of like RuPaul DragCon.
It's huge. But it's because these are like shows.
They're worlds. Huge, like cast.
It's just three people. It's hard to have a convention for one thing.
It would be cool if it's like in an arena or a stadium. That's more of a festival though.
Yeah, but maybe it's more of a, I think they're still thinking what it looks like. And it's, I wish they called it like Jonas Fest.
Something con. Meet your favorite stars from the 80s.
It's giving, it's a con. Oh, for me, it's giving legacy.
Johnny Drama. Yeah.
Yeah. Saved by the Bell will be there.
Yes. Right.
The cast of Saved by the Bell. Viking Quest.
Yeah. Okay.
Are you ready for a fifth and final story that will lead into our White Lotus recap? Yes. Because one of the biggest names on the new season of White Lotus is Patrick Schwarzenegger making a lot of headlines.
He sat down with Vanity Fair to talk about the role. And the fact that we saw his penis.
And how he, quote, I fucked his way onto the White Lotus. Oh, no, because the thing is, and me and Ben were talking, it's so funny.
I I just met Patrick Schwarzinger. I don't even know if I told you this.
I was out to dinner, and he was sitting with somebody that I knew, so of course I'm so obnoxious. I'm like, oh my god, Bo, hey, how are you? And I'm like, oh, who's this? Such a nice guy.
And Patrick's the one that dated Miley? Yes, of course. Because I confused him with Conor Kennedy.
They are the same, but Patrick greater than.

Oh.

Just like famous wise.

Like Conor never like became as famous as he could have been.

Maybe he's toiling away somewhere.

Maybe he's like in a military academy or something.

No, no. He's going to be like the president.

I think like he really did not like being famous as like Taylor Swift's boyfriend

and like reverted back after that.

He never like aspired greater after being that.

I don't know.

I feel like he's at West Point. No, like I saw him in the elevator at zero bond he's literally not he's not at west point the last time i saw him he was at zero bond wearing a leather jacket huh okay so i had high hopes maybe i'm wrong maybe he enlisted after or maybe he hit the night off yeah yeah and he came into the big city the military loves to go to zero bond and west point's not that far from zero bond no No, for sure.
For sure. Patrick Schwarzenegger, you saw him.
Oh, yeah. What happened next? Such a pargy man.
And I think he's engaged like a really pargy model. Abby Champion.
Really just pargyliciousness. And so his, I don't know him as an actor, but after watching the episode, I was like, wow, he's an amazing actor because he's fucking insufferable.
And I just met him in really very like hamish nice guy but the article is like giving his character yes a little bit there are some like cringy tidbits but also interesting like first of all he was set it opens how he talked about like every sunday night he would like get together for dinner with his family and they all watch white lotus together which is just like weird that's like normie behavior what no like oh it's just like a random sexual show and

it's like that's what you guys are like glued to it's not like game of thrones where it's like

really good point so and then how it was his dream to one day be on a season i think it's a lot of

people's dream because like look at you know megan fahey it makes a star yeah jennifer coolidge

every time we would watch my family would just be yapping at me why aren't you on this show why

didn't you audition it's actually funny you need to talk to someone to get you on this show that's

really funny oh also i saw marina shriver on the street the other day oh wow yeah like

I'm going to take a look. yapping at me why aren't you on this show why didn't you audition it's actually funny you need to talk to someone to get you on this show that's really funny oh also i saw marina shriver on the street the other day oh wow yeah like something is like bringing you into their orbit 1000 percent what do you think it means no literally i was walking on lexington avenue she was just like walking the other way just giving businesswoman like wearing trousers interesting maybe she was commuting to work she was like outside a big business building because we all kind of do business and we have to get there.
The American Riviera Orchard Office Building. Yeah, we have to get to work.
And that's probably what she was doing. Yeah.
If only she was driving herself. They have so many different corners of fame within that particular family.
Well, Chris Pratt. Of course.
He talks a lot about, not a lot, but he talks a bit about Chris Pratt in this interview. First of all, his whole family went to the premiere.
And then he was asking for, he got an audition.

They didn't tell him it was the White Lotus,

but like, I don't know how much I believe this.

He said, they said it was a show called like Secret Garden and they gave him like one line about who this character is.

And he has to like make it his own.

And Chris Pratt was like, you know,

they only really watch five seconds of,

in the first five seconds,

they know if you're right for the role.

I just want to say, I do believe that.

That he didn't know it was White Lotus?

I think that that might be how they have a lot of people audition for White Lotus because it is this like larger than life and people are so lame and the best part of it is like how people, how the actors take these random characters and like really make them their own. I feel like a lot of it is the actors doing that.
Yeah. So I can actually see that being like the challenge kind of when you, when you do a a job interview and there's like a riddle

they give you to solve like in finance or it's like undercover boss we're in a blender oh that too but like undercover boss like he has to go undercover because everyone knows the everyone knows the formula i kind of get i kind of see that so chris had told him like they'll know if you're right for it within the first five seconds so like do something interesting so because he knew this guy was like kind of like misogynist he was like he said they're the first five seconds he kind of like i fucked the camera and was like acting like it was a girl like huh and that he got the role and then when he knew it was white lotus very exciting and even when they were filming in thailand like the whole family parker posey and the gang they like did everything together as a family like people would be like when i go to dinner they're like i'm having dinner with my family okay we need to talk about watching movies and like they would all, even before they started filming, like do Zooms to like get into this- That's cute. It's giving for the Miller's like witness protection program.
This is my new family. Yeah.
But I guess that's good. Again, like it's just acting.
It is. You have a nice family at home, but okay, sure, yeah.
Yeah. The first episode of White Lotus was like actually hard for me.
One, because I didn't think it was so good. But that is White Lotus.
Like it's real character development. You have to like put in the time, but mostly because I spent the entire episode on IMDb.
Like, am I the only one? First of all, I could not fucking figure out who of the three girl best friends, like the loser who nobody liked, who she is. Do you know who she is? Who? The Gilded Age.
She's the rich new family mom. Oh my God.
She is. And I can't say her name because she has such an unfortunate last name do you know what it is i'm not saying it wait i'm gonna go guilty actress oh my god she is she tied her hair blonde she thought we wouldn't know jackie this is her last name oh i see i see i'm not saying that okay bertha russell bertha russell yeah so jackie it was bothering me so much then i could not figure out who parker posey's husband was well parker Posy Josie and the Pussycats.
Please, Russell. Yeah.
So Jackie, it was bothering me so much. Then I could not figure out who Parker Posey's husband was.
Well, Parker Posey, Josie and the Pussycats. Please.
I knew that almost immediately. When I saw Parker Posey, like on the credits in the beginning, when they changed the song, I was like, excuse me, Josie.
I knew Josie was going to be there without the Pussycats and I was really excited. But you know who her husband is? Who? You probably don't know.
Lucius Malfoy, Drago Malfoy's dad. I just watched Harry Potter.
Oh, beautiful. Then, the girl who has the boyfriend.
The girl with the teeth. Yeah, who's that? She is like a classic.
She was in Game of Thrones. I think she was like one of the hookers.
Yeah, like a bed wench? Yeah, she was a bed wench. Thank you.
Okay, let me go to just White Lotus season three cast. I was just- And the little brother.
What is he from? Oh, he's like, you know, classic up and comer. He's classic, like somewhere I turn pretty.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Exactly. But like, actually, what is he from? It was just so distracting.
I was like, I need to spend. And then I also wanted to know what hotel they filmed at.
Cause I find that really interesting. It's the Four Seasons in Thailand.
And you know, that's going to become like the next big hot thing. Like that Italy hotel.
Like good luck ever. Every hotel that's ever been featured.
Well, you know I never watched season two. But that's not like I like the show actually because you can kind of jump back in.
Except that you kind of can't. The little brother is from Perfect Couple.
So we just saw him. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Oh, he's a little bro.
That's like kind of like all he gets cast as. Classic little brother.
So. Oh, oh oh my god i didn't realize that the celebrity of the three friends girls jacqueline that's michelle monaghan yes i didn't know that was michelle monaghan and our queen leslie bibb we love leslie bibb give leslie bibb all the jobs all of them she should be in every show she's such a good actress and she did amazing but i saw in the credits michelle monaghan's in this i'm like oh i love that for her like after tom brady and everything she'll be on my notice no no no that's bridget moynahan and i want to say you're not the only person who gets bridget and michelle and they don't even have the same last name monahan and moynahan are you sure positive okay so who's michelle monahan classic actress she reminds me of like an amanda pete you know yeah she's just a gal um oh that's so funny that you thought it was uh tom brady's ex-wife no the one thing because i watched with ben and ben had not seen season one or two and i said it's fine it's just one of these shows that you can pick up there is like a running theme that i i don't think you know about with the greg orange shirt guy something to do with jennifer coolidge season one he was her boyfriend there they meet at the hotel, they have.
He's like fake locked out of his room. He's giving like con man.
We can't really figure out. But you know, she's this lonely old woman.
And then he like sees this wealthy woman. And he immediately like, you know, drops everything to be there for her.
And I think he was probably planning something with her. Then season two, which you missed, they show up as a couple.
So they're like, you know, together still after meeting in hawaii and he's very shady the whole season he's like taking weird phone calls then he has to leave early and then she's like hanging out with these gays who are trying to murder her and they do right yes but she's in their house and she sees a picture of these gays and her man greg but he left like how do you so she's like oh my god i'm being set up a lot of different things. These gays are trying to murder me.
So he leaves the trip early.

And then we find out last night he's been living in Thailand for the last year with this lady.

So he is nefarious, but I do feel like, and I missed, I missed a lot of it.

I didn't even realize that.

So he's involved in her murder.

So he's just weird and shady.

And that's like really all we know.

And I kind of missed that.

It wasn't until I saw like a TikTok recap.

He was like, did you catch this white Lotus moment?

And I'm like, no.

Yeah. I was like, Greg.
Yeah. I was seriously like, oh, guy in an orange shirt, cool.
Yeah. Cool.
The episode was boring, but. We're setting the stage.
Exactly. And it's a nice environment.
It's pargelicious. I miss the Pineapple Room guy.
Like that was peak. So Pineapple Room guy, I think like that role is the patrick schwartz of course enraging of course but like i reference the pineapple room guy all the time yeah we've all been the pineapple if someone's like complaining about anything i'm like don't be the pineapple and it's a really good and important lesson yeah it's so true and then there's some so i didn't watch the second season'm sure I would enjoy it.
They're just like very established characters, a little bit infuriating, obviously very entitled. It's the way people behave on vacation.
So we'll see what this season holds. We will.
But literally when you're like obsessed with TV and celebrities, like watching the White Lotus requires 20 minutes of research prior because it was just infuriating trying to place people yeah i was just i didn't watch um with anything else in mind i was just like trying to be present i feel like i was present so good of you um and then also the guy in the first scene zion like when does he come because he wasn't belinda's son because she said my son is coming yeah then he's looking for his mom. Yeah, right.
So I think he gets there in a little bit. Okay, that makes sense.
I thought he was a guest, but then I'm like, he's not here. This is just the first season.
And Belinda's in the second season, so she's also like a- Belinda's in every season. She's the common denominator.
Yeah, she's exactly. Her and Jennifer Coolidge, but then Jennifer Coolidge is no longer with us.
The last thing I wanted to say was this is the first time that it's not like a traditional hotel. It's like this wellness program.
It was giving nine perfect strangers. I didn't finish it, but it was like that annoying.
Like I didn't finish nine perfect strangers either, but it was. And I kind of my favorite thing about White Lotus is like how classic hotel it is.
Yeah. And so much of this with like taking your phones away and like a diet program.
That's not really like what we've to expect i was like what is this a fat farm oh my god i was laughing so hard i didn't realize that's like a term everyone uses i when when her when his girlfriend said that is so on brand for you being a victim of your own choices like slay i need to start using that it's so true is that even his girlfriend there's something there's something not girlfriend like yeah yeah we'll There's something weird with everyone. So we'll see on all counts.
That's your White Lotus recap, and we'll try and stay up on it. Yeah.
The final part of today's show is Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment, where every Tuesday, Jackie and I read three submissions from girlies who have written into us, desperately seeking advice from two extremely- Beautiful women. Beautiful, I want to say smart, I want to say stunning.
Yeah. And so if you ever want to write into us you can do so one of two ways email us deartosters at gmail.com or head over to our website thetoastpodcast.com and there's a submission box both of those are totally anonymous thank you to everyone who wrote in so first up we have a little bit of a breastfeeding issue hey swirlies I'm a nursing mom I'm in the thick of postpartum a good friend of mine who's also a mom and she's nursing came over to visit me this week and we talked about how trying to get a shower in a day can be really challenging with a newborn.
My baby was napping, so my friend just told me to go take a quick shower. I've known her my whole life.
I know she's safe, so I decided to go ahead. When I was in the shower, I heard my baby cry and I got out.
When I came into the room, my friend was nursing my baby. I confronted her and she said she was trying to help and comfort the child.
She said I was being dramatic and that she didn't want to disrupt my shower. I'm deeply disturbed by this and I feel like it was a huge violation and honestly creepy.
I honestly feel like our friendship is over. Is that weird? Is it not weird? Am I being dramatic? Okay, obviously not cool.
You have to really put myself in this situation. Imagine like a friend, we're both like nursing mamas.
The friend is what makes it weird. Like I think that if I was, if you were doing me a favor coming over and getting in the shower and the baby started crying and you happen to have also just had a baby and I came back and you were nursing my baby, like I would not think that's weird because we're family.
Right. But I would ask you still, even being your sister, like I would have to know.
So that's like really crazy that she did that. If it was a friend, And I would just like, sister like I would have to know so that's like really crazy that she did that if it was a friend um I would just like also I would want to know like are you guys aligned on other stuff like what is she eating like is it so do you think like her milk if her milk is like finding you guys are on the same page about everything and so like it's more so about the like the not asking versus like what actually your child got so I'm gonna go ahead and say like the milk was fine it was just about the act of doing it right she's not like doing meth and breastfeeding right right right right um i would have a conversation with her but like there's a path to forgiveness i think you know it's i guess like she was trying to help it's not a malicious coming like from a bad place like give yourself find comfort in the fact that like for centuries this is what women did.
So true. What is that called? Wet nurse? A wet nurse.
Children breastfed off. It's really not a big deal.
People even go to a breast milk bank and get other women's breast milk. Yeah, but that breast milk has been tested thoroughly.
Right, so that's why I'm like, if this woman's milk seems good to you. She makes good choices.
She makes good choices. You're aligned.
It's really crazy. It's's really crazy now I think what you're saying is true like there I don't think there are going to be implications like right like negative health wise on the baby but it's really crazy to nurse someone else's baby whom you're not related to and you didn't ask yeah I just feel like anyone that I'm super super close with would 100% ask me because I'm not close with a crazy person.
And so if it was someone that I'm not that close with that they felt like they wouldn't ask me, yeah, I don't need to be your friend anymore because we weren't that close. Yeah, but let's also, let's put our caps on.
What is this woman going through? She's also postpartum because she's nursing. Like maybe she- Is out of her mind.
Heard the baby cry and it woke something in her instinctually. I i don't know i don't know i she the fact that she won't hear you out like you told her that this upset you and she like says you're being crazy like that's a that's a bad sign like she should be receptive to your feedback yeah you're not being crazy but you know it's also hard to make friends like especially mom friends motherhood so like sometimes we just gotta be like okay you go this way you think this i'll think that but let's like still have like touching someone's baby like i do fear well touching is she was

always gonna touch him he was crying you know sorry sticking your titty in someone else's baby

maybe we're all a little too uptight about it oh wow okay i don't think so i mean if it were me

like seriously i would punch you in the face yeah but like i actually don't know someone i would not

have someone in my house who would do this so like it's really hard to put yourself in her it is

Thank you. punch you in the face yeah but like i actually don't know someone i would not have someone in my house who would do this so like it's really hard to put yourself in her it is what kind of friend what level of friendship that the person is in my house but when i have a baby like so we're close so they're alone with the new baby so i can know me well enough to know like this is just something i would ask and i just want to be clear you are not being dramatic you are not wrong for being upset friend who probably had good intentions, like not being receptive to you saying this upset me, like that's probably like the most egregious part of this whole thing.
Cause she was trying to help. I don't think she was trying to be malicious and she made a call and it was the wrong call.
But so if you said like, I don't like that and that upset me and she's like, well, you're wrong. That's where she's a bad friend.
Cause she was trying to help the baby. I think really when I think about who would do this to this to me it's like is this someone that i like low-key want to cut out anyway because if it was like you evaluate the friendship say they say it was you and i was like claudia what on earth are you doing don't ever would you be mad um well you're my sister so like it's right it's kind of similar but even though i eat sugary cereal you do eat sugary cereal i wouldn't like be about it i wouldn't be like do that again but i would 100 forgive you and we would move on because like I love you and I cherish our relationship and I want to work on things it's worth salvaging you're saying yeah so evaluate the friendship is the friendship worth salvaging yeah this next one is so crazy and I wanted to tell you about it before we started recording so we could like gossip and giggle about it but I think it's better to get your genuine reaction my husband informed me this week that his best friend Johnny has been running a snark page for one of the biggest influencers of the moment.
Johnny screenshots every single thing this influencer posts on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, et cetera, and picks apart the girl's body, the girl's personality, life, everything. My husband told me that he refers to this as his second full-time job.
He has stopped conversations at their boys' night multiple times to update the snark page. He responds to comments.
I believe you guys have had stories about this in the past but i i don't know if you uh have so please help me out johnny has been seriously dating a girl for a few years now and she's become one of my best friends my husband says that johnny's girlfriend has no idea about this and my husband and his other friends have even told johnny that he needs to be done with the snark page because it's really consuming him johnny's response was that he quote has created a community that he cannot abandon johnny has even told my husband that he will tell his girlfriend he's running errands but really he just sits in his car needing to update the reddit page I feel like she needs to know about this I mean I would like to know if my husband spent 75 percent of his day picking apart another woman online but is it my place I do not want to ruin my husband and Johnny's friendship at this point my husband can barely be around him due to Johnny being distracted by the reddit page if this was your best friend's boyfriend what would you do is there there a way I could drop Easter eggs that lead her to this without telling her explicitly, please help? She needs to know. 1,000% because- You just walk on over there and you tell her straight up.
You don't need Easter eggs. You don't need to write us no dear Sam the other night at Karma.
At bed. Tell her straight up.
Yeah, this is so crazy. Like one, when I first read it, I assumed it was just like a, like a man influencer.
I don't know why. So the fact that it's a man starting a snark page about, about anyone is so crazy.
Like true sign of mental illness, but about a girl that's like freaky, like serious, like leads to violence. A hundred percent.
This is really crazy behavior. And if, if my friends knew that my husband was doing something like this, that not only is like, you have a job, you have a family, like you have time commitments and you're spending half the day in your car on Reddit, like rotting, that's unacceptable.
But also the implications on your mental health like actually scare me. I would not want to be living in a house with somebody that does that.
I 100% agree. Also, they're just dating right now.
Like stop her from making like a big mistake. You should 100% it's not like they are married to get back to you by the way I don't care he talks about it with his friends like it's not everybody knows right everybody knows but seriously once this episode's over and listen till the end walk on over there and tell her yeah you don't need to come up with some hijinks in order for her to know know what we should wait for something bad to happen because this person's like obviously really crazy just tell her straight up and maybe she won't matter it won't need to come up with some hijinks in order for her to know.
No, what, we should wait for something bad to happen because this person's like obviously really crazy.

Just tell her straight up.

And maybe it won't matter to her and she won't see it as an issue.

And now she has all the information.

Maybe she's the only one who could get him to stop and come off his phone

and pick up his head up.

Did you see that, I forget which one, it was like New York Magazine or New Yorker

did a huge article on snark pages.

And they interviewed anonymously like 10 or 20 girls who do influencer snark.

And they just talked about how it's like one of the best things that ever happened to them.

None of their friends or family know about it.

It's just like really good like for their health to like, it was really crazy.

You should read it.

I did not see it.

I will read it.

Yeah.

So this felt very appropriate

because I was just reading,

I was actually watching a TikTok recapping it

because I wasn't reading the article.

But it's really crazy behavior.

Yeah.

Especially, I mean, from anyone,

but especially a man.

I know a lot of people like who lurk on pages like that

and they like find it enjoyable,

very like schadenfreude.

So there's different levels,

like lurking, participating, moderating. Yeah.
That's crazy. Yeah.
All right. Our third and final.
Hey, Jackson Claude. How you doing? I came out as a lesbian about five years ago.
I recently and publicly started posting on my Instagram about my new relationship with a woman. Before coming out, I did date men and I had one year long relationship with a man, my ex-boyfriend.
And he has a podcast that I do not listen to as very, you know, for the guys um it's just him and his two buddies mostly talking about sports they had a recent episode titled and discussed how my how my ex turned me gay i only found out because a mutual girl we have in common told me to listen to so shout out to her they never mentioned my name but if you know us it's extremely obvious that they're talking about me if it was just a joke in passing I wouldn't be bothered to now. No, no, no.
How my ex turned me gay.

Yeah. they're talking about me if it was just a joke in passing I wouldn't be bothered to now no no how my ex turned me gay yeah I guess like they just are talking about her on the podcast but like do you not see how the pronouns are confusing yeah yeah but she's saying like they're making a joke it's like my ex turned me gay because she's gay oh okay sorry so she said um if it was just a joke in passing I wouldn't be as bothered um As I realized my coming out probably did shake him up quite a bit.
We broke up a year and a half before I came out, by the way. The podcast, he goes into detail about our sex life, things I did that should have been rainbow flags, which is like basically playing college sports and not wearing makeup.
My girlfriend says I should just let it go, that he's a loser. Rainbow flags.
That's funny. You need to use that term.
I cannot help but feel hurt. Our breakup wasn't good, but no one cheated or did anything nefarious.
We have not spoken directly since the breakup, but we occasionally bump into each other at weddings and cordially say, hey, how are you? Should I text him and say, what the fuck? Take the podcast down or just let it go. Sincerely, your lesbian listener.
I think you got to let it go. This is his story.
This is his life and his experience. He's telling it on his show.
Now, I hope he has an audience otherwise this is just like sad and by the way you should find solace in knowing he most likely doesn't so yeah it's hard to get a podcast to get listened to these days and it's unfortunate he's sharing like really private stuff but it doesn't sound like he said the sex life that I don't like that but that's what people do every day on podcasts yeah um it's like the culture the thing is in order for you to be happy you have to let this go like living in the past and judging up things it's not good for you to yeah to not let it go so i wouldn't say anything i don't need to like reinvigorate the conversations with this guy but it does feel like taylor striker's ex-husband wrote into us because that's literally her favorite thing to talk about. And he started a podcast.

But she does it too.

No, no, I'm saying the listener is Taylor Strucker's.

Right, but Taylor Strucker would never,

I don't think, be mad if her husband went on a podcast

and started talking about this.

Yeah, because she gets it.

Because she goes on her podcast and talks about her husband.

Her former life, yeah.

Right.

So I think the answer for you is to start a podcast

and take your power back.

No, I wouldn't get in the mud with these actual losers. Like, why don't you go be happy? Like, it sounds like you.
Yeah. No, he did his episode.
You're in a beautiful relationship. He told his story.
Like, okay. And then next week there'll be a new episode and that's it.
Yeah. And that's like, I also feel like the hard thing.
It's like, obviously I'm not gay. So I don't know.
But like when you come out, it's like, so your journey, right? Like it's, it's really all about you. But there are other people, especially if you've been romantically involved with them who are a part of it in a some small way and while you know it might not be the way that you want it like they do have every right to like you know say what that was like for them even though it's not about them and it's like any breakup or any relationship so i think you just just ignore by the way ignore yeah don't give like the one thing is a podcast shouldn't have even listened to it the one thing is podcast everyone else doesn't garner his attention.
And so you don't want to give that to him. Yeah.
Just move on from it. Yeah.
That's all. That's our show you guys.
Hope you enjoyed this Pardylicious episode. We're back tomorrow with lots of fun things in store.
So don't forget to. Trips to the Cape for sure tomorrow.
What'd you say? Trips to the Cape. Yeah.
What about a clam bake oh i would i would love that thank you so much

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