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Freedom!

Freedom!

Freedom!

That's how it goes.

Right before we started recording,

Scott and I were doing the

descending fames from David Bowie's song Fame.

Fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame, fame.

And I gotta say,

I bet that that was fun for David Bowie.

It must have been fun.

It must have been fun.

I was going to say, I bet it was fun for Lauren to listen to that.

Was it?

Was that the one John Lennon?

I actually don't remember it happening.

You don't remember us doing it?

yeah just a minute ago yeah

um yes i believe he co-wrote that with john lennon right or did john lennon write it out right i think they co-laborated oh that's pretty it looks a pretty great mashup there people but they also fucked each other uh

do you hear about the under pressure that basically like they had an agreement uh freddie mercury and david bowie that They would each go into the studio without hearing what the other person did and just lay down something and they would try to put it on top of each other and see how it came out and david bowie cheated and listened to freddie mercury and then came on and added to it that's smart and yeah it's probably the better way to do it smart to cheat sometimes yeah and that's why most people do it that way yeah if you're out there knowing what the song is yeah why would they agree to that

fun game probably a fun game you know yeah but it's it's it's people's jobs you're you're wasting people's time

but imagine something cool happened yeah but we'll never get to because we have to listen to that shitty under pressure song the way it is i love the cheaters version i love that song too Cheaters.

By the way, there's a new show.

Cheaters.

That's exactly Cheaters was fun.

That's a fun show.

There's a new show that's just cheaters.

I saw it's cheaters.

It's essentially cheaters, but it's not called cheaters.

It's like Love Trap or something like that.

It's like

it's a love trap.

Oh, I think it's what's her name from Tammy from LA Real World and from

what other reality show is she in?

Real World Road Rules Challenge.

No, she's she's in like one of the

like housewives or something.

Oh,

Tammy.

Let me look it up.

The name doesn't ring a Tammy Roman.

Tammy Roman.

She's not on Real Housewives.

I said it was something like

basketball wives.

There you go.

Basketball.

That is fine.

That is different.

Can I see a picture of her?

Oh, gosh.

Oh, Lauren.

Are you hangry?

I'm hangry.

That's Ariana DeBoe.

Oh, here she is.

Okay.

Anyway, so she's, I think she's hosting it.

Great.

And it's, it's, and I saw it, and I was like, this is just cheaters.

The original host was Tommy Greco.

That show was always fun to watch, you know, on a hot summer's day when you could be playing outside.

Yeah, absolutely.

So I remember it.

Yeah.

When I was an adult, was it Tommy Greco playing outside?

But you weren't.

You were inside watching cheaters.

I was inside doing my taxes or watching cheaters.

God, you're always doing your taxes.

So cheaters, if you're- You're almost done.

Doesn't it feel like taxes go on forever and ever?

Yeah.

Like, you're like, it's a whole quarter of the year just spent getting that all sorted.

Yeah.

Salted bullshit, huh?

That sorted.

Salted.

Cheaters, if you didn't watch it, was a show

where

people would come to Tommy Greco

and they would say, I think my husband's cheating on me.

And then they would follow the people around with a camera.

And then find them cheating.

And then they were.

They were cheating.

And then they would confront him.

Is that real?

No.

I hear that they were all staged.

No.

Everyone's an actor?

Oh, yeah.

And same with all the Jerry Springer and all that stuff.

Oh, good.

But I mean,

what is going on?

Maury Povich, let's talk about that.

Now, that apparently is real, the father DNA test, because he was like one of the...

I saw something about him being like the first person to do that.

And it became like his whole thing.

Other people did it?

Well, like, yeah, I think other people did it.

Well, it eventually became a signature move.

But other people did do it, other shows.

Like, he would just go on his show, not even explain.

Other shows do it?

You're like, yeah, we want to have you on Mori Pover to talk about your dental hygiene.

And you go, okay, well, anyway, I got a crown taken out.

You are a father.

The woman I slept with once?

What's she doing here?

Do you ever think about whether there's four other guys?

Have you ever thought about whether you could have a baby out there that you don't know about?

Yeah,

I've gamed it out and I feel like I can't.

I don't think I feel like

I would track of everything.

I feel like I would have been told.

I've been told.

At this point, you would have.

I feel like back then, I felt like people would have told me just to shame me.

But you hear these stories where it's just, hey, look at this baby.

Aren't you ashamed?

You did.

You piece of shit.

But

I feel like I pretty much heard everything about everybody, I think.

Like what they went on to do in their life.

Yeah, and I would have heard of it.

Like,

you don't know everything, and you don't know what happened for them, and you don't know how it played out, and you never can know.

I've narrowed it down to just the women that I've had penetrative sex with.

Jesus Christ.

Extra penetrative sex.

I've ruled out the others.

You don't know that it couldn't have gone through the underwear.

That was the kind of thing that always got put on like scary

shows that you watched.

They didn't even have sex.

It was like over the underwear and she's pregnant.

It can seep through.

One strong segment.

Like a side

strong.

It seeps through.

That's right.

It seeps through.

I guess.

Who's your favorite side pod character?

Wow.

Michael Richards offstage?

Jerry's your favorite?

No.

Elaine.

Elaine is the best one.

Elaine.

Elaine.

The answer is Elaine.

Maybe Jerry.

She's so fucking funny on that show.

So funny, so pretty, so talented.

She's just great.

I mean,

they were a dream team for sure.

Jason Alexander was so good on that show, though.

It's hard to see him in other shows because he's not doing the George thing.

Yeah, and Pretty Woman.

Have you watched that yet?

No, not yet.

What the heck?

Yeah, he's in that.

He's a mean man.

He's really not George-like.

He was great on my television show, and I asked him how because we just put out offers to people and never expecting anyone.

And then he agreed to do it right away.

And I said, Why did you agree to do this?

He said, I just love the script.

Oh, that's nice.

He was like, it is a really funny script.

Yeah.

There you go.

That's very nice.

Did you ever see his episode of Criminal Minds?

No.

They're bringing that back, by the way.

Oh, yes, I know.

With Peget.

That's right.

Peget Brouste.

He plays some sort of criminal mastermind or something.

And he's got like this long white wig, and he's doing some kind of voice.

It's really, you have to see it.

It's adorable.

It's worth taking a picture of it.

It's a George.

Did you see the CSI with comedians or someone died on stage or whatever?

Is there something in George Gostanza Criminal Mind?

What's his role?

I've never seen it.

I've only seen like

clips of it.

It's got to be very tempting to play a criminal mastermind, right?

I think that wig was his idea where he was like, here's what I want to look like.

Well, it'd be helpful to kind of break up

the George of it all.

Yeah.

And also, it's like, hey, I want to have fun.

I mean,

I never have to work again.

I want wigs always.

I want wigs always.

It's hard to find like a way in to be different to play like a big criminal mastermind, right?

Because you don't want to play it all arch and like, ha ha, I know everything about it.

Paul Dano did an okay job in Batman, I think, like where he's just like a scared kid almost, but I don't know.

Well, he seemed like a

a murderous lunatic to me.

I guess.

I don't know.

But that's the other thing, playing the Joker.

How do you find something new?

Heath Leder, he did a great job with it, but how do you, like, you know, Caesar Romero after that?

The ultimate.

I mean, Joaquin found something new.

Yeah.

It was different.

Yeah, he won an Oscar.

No Joker had walked down steps before and danced.

Well, they hadn't.

They started the movie from there.

Like, how do we make this make sense?

He won an Oscar.

He won the Oscar.

He won an Oscar.

Two Joker Oscars.

Yeah, one of the only roles in cinema history that two actors have won for.

That's right.

What's the other one?

Well, there's not a lot of roles that are done over and over.

There is Anthony.

Peto Corleone.

Oh, true.

De Niro from Joker.

And Brandy.

Peter O'Toole is the only person to be nominated for playing the same character.

In different things.

What about

movies?

Didn't she play a queen in different movies?

She played Queen Elizabeth in Shakespeare in Love.

Did she play Queen Elizabeth again?

I think, maybe, I don't know.

But Peter O'Toole played Henry II in

Beckett and The Lion in Winter.

What did you loan to Kulop recently?

A Man for All Seasons?

What did you loan to Kulop recently?

Was it COVID?

I don't remember.

Recently.

I think so.

I think you gave her a movie, and I think it was Man for All Seasons.

That sounds familiar.

It sounds like something you would do.

It does.

Not so much Lauren.

I would never.

I would never.

You hold on to your movie collection.

Well,

I'd lend a movie out, but it would never be a man-for-all season.

It's like, what about women?

I'm talking about 13 going on 30.

Speaking of women, I've never seen little women, and I would love to watch it.

Speaking of women,

I would love to watch that.

I brought this up to Bob Odenkirk about, I asked him if he'd ever seen the, because Bob's in the new one, which is really good.

Right.

That's the one I wanted to do.

And he just kind of like shows up out of the blue, and everyone's like, Yeah.

Oh, I even, it was shocking to me, and I knew he was in the movie.

I had forgotten.

And then when he shows up, I was like, what?

It's, I don't know whether whether that's because we know him, but it seems to have had that effect on other people as well.

Because someone layered the,

took a video of it and layered his entrance with the,

I don't know if you've seen the crowd applauding it endgame, Avengers Endgame.

But that's a great...

I have watched that movie.

That's really funny.

Okay, so Avengers Endgame, someone...

on opening night took a video of the crowd and recorded the crowd's reaction to the big like end where everyone comes back from the dead and shows up, and people are like going crazy.

They layered that on Bob Odenk's entrance in Little Women, and it's really funny.

Wasn't there, wasn't there, like, I feel like it was in the most recent Spider-Man movie where all three Spider-Mans were in it.

And like, when Andrew Garfield showed up, there was somebody recorded in the movie theater, like, there was a guy did backflips in front of the screen.

He couldn't express himself.

He's like, it's like a monkey.

Exactly.

Like, being like, I just have to get this energy out.

So funny.

He had to have prepped for that and said, oh man, when they show Andrew Blackfield, I'm so silly.

Probably he saw Toefer McGuire and Toby Maguire and he's like, okay, I think.

Why didn't they condense?

Why don't those two fucking stuff?

They should condense them.

Yes, no one.

Toe for McGrace.

Toe for McGrace.

Toe for McGrace.

Toe for McGrace.

Toe for Moface.

Grace for McGrace.

Grace Grace Bar.

I was banging my foot in time.

Why were you doing that?

I should not be doing it.

Is your foot healed?

I'm sure it is because I was supposed supposed to get this off three days ago, but my doctor was on vacation.

So I'm getting it off tomorrow.

I'm praying it is healed.

No, it's a walking boot.

But so why do you need them to remove it?

Just because they have to look at it and go, it's all good.

I'm going to remove it.

They're just going to extrapolate.

The walking boot.

Okay.

Although, when I broke my other foot when my brother ran over it, I'm sure I told this story.

In a car.

Wait.

Jesus Christ.

How many times now have you broken your foot?

Your feet are trying to get away from you.

I broke my heel

on this foot, my ankle on this foot, my foot foot on the worst one thing.

The worst one was this one when my brother ran over it.

I had to be in a cast all summer.

So that foot

with the boot is the same one from the other tour.

From the tour, yeah.

And why did he run over it?

I don't, I'm sure he did.

Yeah, what was his reasoning?

He was dropping me off at the library where I was volunteering all summer.

Wow, what a great boy.

So because you were a dork.

He was like, oh, by the way, crunch.

And I got out of the car and I turned around to shut the door and my foot was by the wheel and I hadn't shut the door or whatever.

And he just took off.

And he peeled out.

And I, not,

like, not, he rolled onto it.

And I went, ah,

how?

And then he rolled back on to it.

And just to undo what he did.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then I was.

Then he tried to convince me not to tell their police.

He's like, just walk it off.

It's fine.

Don't do not tell our just walk it off.

Yeah.

And I was like, it really hurt.

I can't walk it off.

13 or 14.

Oh.

14.

Sad.

And so then I told them and went to the hospital and got a cast on it.

But the one thing that I was thinking about the other day, because I've been, I have to take this boot off to shower and stuff like that.

And

showering or taking it off?

Taking the boot off.

Oh, okay.

Because I know you do a little dance and you put on mute.

It's breathing.

it's breathing

but when i got the cast off my my foot after the whole summer it being on it was just like itchy as fuck and there's nothing

like you basically put a coat hanger down it and try to start the shower again

but when they took it off

there's like a giant leaf in there

That's what was itching?

Yeah, a giant leaf.

And they're like,

oh, this must have been causing you some discomfort.

I'm like, yeah.

I'm sorry, that's so crazy.

A leaf.

a leaf that would be so annoying what a loose cast yeah well no i think it was already in there when he put it on it wasn't there when they put it

they put it on me in the jungle al fresco

i thought they accidentally sealed it up in there it was stuck to his foot now of course you did have all your earthly possessions sealed up in there of course one leaf

three moths um no i was i was

volunteering for like a kids camp that summer too.

So I think I was outside a lot and, you know, on crutches.

And the leaves just blew in.

Kids were stuffing leaves in your cast.

Yeah.

Probably kind of a new kick-me thing, like a new kick-me sign.

Shoving leaves down there.

Someone signed your cast and said, shove leaves in here.

Yeah.

When you get a castle, I mean, this is the plot of Dear Evan Hansen, but it's like,

it's a lot of pressure of like, are people going to

the window?

Oh.

But I don't know any of the songs.

I've never seen it.

I hear the movie's not good.

The movie's not good, but the Broadway show is great.

I actually listened to the soundtrack before I saw the show, which I never do.

And I really enjoyed it, but I made up my own story of what was happening.

And it was it's funny.

What was the story you made up?

In my version,

the Evan Dear Evan Henson, or the character, was secretly gay, and he and that guy were having a relationship because I didn't understand the letter of it all, because, of course, I didn't have the dialogue.

Indeed, what was happening?

Context clues.

So I thought that was a whole storyline.

And so I was like kind of making all the songs make sense with that.

Speaking of a whole storyline, I recommend the 1994 Little Women over the more recent one.

Oh, and I'm not sure.

Well, I definitely saw that one back in the day, but I would watch it again.

With Wynona?

Yes.

Judd?

Yes.

Wai Nona and Judd is there.

I love Winona Ryder.

No, she's still alive.

Winona's still alive.

Oh, it's Naomi who died.

Oh, I passed away.

I apologize to the entire Judd fan.

Grimm.

That was very sad.

Yeah, that's not something you want to see.

Her memorial was great.

Oh, good.

And Wai Nona Ta was very funny at it.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Cracking wise.

She was cracking wise.

She was like doing a roast of her dear old mama.

And

it was really funny.

I'd never seen her speak that much,

much less make jokes.

It was really funny.

Okay.

I'll have to check that out for a good time.

Here's a for a good time.

Here's why I say that is because

the 1994 one is told linearly,

and the most recent one shifts back and forth in time, it feels for just arbitrary reasons.

Which it's become like that's such a thing now where people are telling stories out of order.

Meanwhile, let's go back 80 minutes earlier.

Yeah.

It is a thing.

It is a thing.

Okay, so to when we were eating lunch.

Yeah.

Janie was watching a show that was in, I think it was in Dutch, and it's about this cast of characters

in the present and when they were like in their 20s.

But the people in their 20s look absolutely nothing like

the people.

So you all need their names to go on.

You got to cast as close to that as you possibly can.

Yeah, you have to simplify yourself.

I think Senior Year did a good job with casting the characters.

I think it did a good job.

I think she is just so talented.

The person playing the younger rebel.

She's great.

And she was on, she was in an Avengers movie.

Yes.

And she's also in The Nice Guys, and she's great.

What's her name?

Oh, The Nice Guys was good.

Yeah, she was talented.

That was a really enjoyable movie.

Or Nice Guys, I haven't seen, but I mean, it's fun.

It's really fun.

It's really good.

What's Nice Guys?

It's Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe, Russell Crowe.

And then Anjerie Rice is her name.

Yeah.

She's Australian.

Oh, so she, I thought she was doing the accent.

No, she does

American accent all the time.

Yeah, she's in Far From a Home.

Yeah, she's so funny in the Spider-Man movies.

Yeah.

She's playing Betty Brandt, and she's like doing the terrible, almost between two-fern style, like terrible journalism, like school journalism videos.

She's very,

she has a relationship with the

best friend.

Yeah.

I haven't seen any of those Tom Holland Spider-Mans, but I've heard they're great.

It's actually odd that I have seen them and you haven't.

It feels wrong and the universe is bad.

She's also in something called Daisy Quokka, World's Scariest Animal.

Well, Quoka.

Quok, Quokka.

Quoka.

Quoka.

We missed him.

And we missed them.

Wow.

So she is at a cartoon and she plays a quokka?

I believe it is a cartoon.

And she, I mean, she plays Daisy Quokka.

So

if that's the name of the show, that's pretty good.

To have your not only your name above the title, but on the title.

Main Quaka.

Hey.

You know,

so Al Pacino.

He does.

Yeah.

He does.

Let's break it down.

He does sound of a woman.

Dot Al Pacino.

You are are an actor.

In the world, is Al Pacino.

So

he does sound of a woman, and he comes up with his noise, right?

Uh-huh.

And he gets an Oscar for it.

Dadouche.

Dadouch.

But why don't we come up with noises as actors?

You constantly do it in whatever.

You're right.

You're right.

And

it's like basically Megan These Stallions.

You know, like.

He only did that noise in that one movie.

That's what I'm saying.

But it was enough to catapult him to the the Oscar.

And now, anytime you do an Al Pacino impression, it's like, what is the noise he does?

Yeah.

You know?

Or you say, say hello to my little friend.

Or you've got a great ass.

Well, that's what we do, of course.

The Devil's...

Reject.

The Devil's Where's Brada?

The Devil.

I'm the Devil.

What was that one?

I was.

Phantoman!

The devil's advocate.

Yeah.

So what noise would you do?

If I could do any noise in a film well i think you have to provide the character yeah because then i'll

make it work she's a characters she's a high-powered attorney okay who defends she's a defense lawyer she's high-powered gets paid a lot for it oh i have one for this And she, but she goes, when she goes home, she has three little tiny mice that she takes care of.

And she's always thinking about the mice whenever she's at work.

And she's always thinking about work whenever she's with the mice.

What?

Why am I always doing that?

Yeah, Al Pacino's was just because he was in the Marines.

Yeah, but I'm a lawyer and I go home and think about law, but I'm with my little mice.

And when I'm at work, I'm only thinking about the mice.

Yeah, what noise would you do?

I'd go like this.

I covered both.

This is not bad.

If you were to do that in a movie, I think it would be very funny.

Look, we have to take a break.

We're going to hear Paul's noise when we come to the cliffhanger.

This is great.

Wow.

I love this.

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What about leather jackets?

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What makes Quince different?

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Quince.com slash threedom.

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and we're back whoa so soon so soon and soon soon you're a balloon and paul what

janie the other day

what are you talking about it's a mr show reference soon soon you're a balloon soon soon you're a balloon just one of the funniest lines i don't know what it really is why did they get you wrote on this?

No, it's Bob said that to David Cross.

Yeah.

It was a sketch about a hate group, a white supremacist group, where they only had one white member.

Right.

And Bob was in Brownface as an Indian man.

Which is okay back.

Oh, yeah.

I was in Yellowface as Japanese.

That was all good.

That was fun.

No, everyone loved it.

It was a tribute to those people.

So I had somebody once said that to me about, like, an older person said that to me years ago about

Blackface, about like minstrel shows.

That was a tribute to Black people.

All right, sure.

That's just a tribute.

And

so

David at one point,

when are we going to do the hate crimes or whatever?

Like the revolution, you know?

And David is saying, he's soon, soon.

And Bob goes, soon, soon, you're a balloon.

And it was very hard not to say it.

It's so funny.

It's just one of those lines where I don't even know how anyone even thinks of it.

Exactly.

Yes.

Yeah.

So good.

Yeah.

All right.

Okay.

What's Paul's character, Lauren?

Paul, your character is, okay, so it's kind of like a reboot of Mr.

Mom.

Okay.

So you're managing like all the households.

Two, two, two, three, whatever it takes.

Yes.

And you're like, you got a lot to do.

And it's also kind of like.

You got a lot to do.

And it's like you have, you're like sweeping.

You're always sweeping.

You're always cleaning.

And you're always nursing the baby with a bottle.

And you're just kind of, you have your hands full all the time.

Yeah.

Well, baby and a bottle.

And normally you're a baseball player, but you had to take off because the mom.

So it's the

regular seasons under the wire.

The mom.

The mom couldn't.

Normally, you're a bad player.

The mom's retired.

May to November?

It's during the season.

During the actual season.

Am I a major league player?

Yeah, you're in the MLB.

Okay.

All right.

So is that it?

Yeah.

So that's it.

Mr.

Mom, usually baseball player, very beleaguered.

Have to do all this stuff.

Also, not doing my job, which I like to do because my wife is supporting the family.

Right.

Oh, it's almost out of here.

Almost.

By an umpire, but it's not.

It has like faint memories of his time playing baseball, but he knows that he can't really go there all the way now because he's...

technically Mr.

Mom.

Yeah.

He doesn't realize he's almost saying, I'm out of here.

I'm getting notes of...

Personnon?

Yeah.

All right, Paul.

What's my character?

Oh, shit.

That's right.

No, it falls to me.

Oh, fuck.

All right.

Put out the doobie.

What about the doobie guys?

We're recording.

Put out the doobie, everyone.

Put out the doobie cool-ops home.

Can you imagine if she had no idea

whenever she left the house?

Put out the doobie cool-ops, though.

She can't know.

So, Scott, you're a pothead,

but you're also

a thoracic surgeon,

and

the hospital has been condemned,

and you are,

you know, you're doing surgeries

while a wrecking ball is smashing into the other end of the hospital.

Is my noise surprise at the wrecking ball, or is it up to you?

It's your noise, it's your character, okay, huh, okay.

all right i'm gonna pretend to smoke a dube first and then i'm gonna pretend i'm miming we all didn't get to do that by the way we didn't get to act out full scenes we didn't get to ask questions you didn't even

neither of you chose to do it fuck okay now my mom's writing i hate when he's right me too what's that noise

wrecking ball

oh my gosh do you think you're gonna do that in a lot of films

so mad about how perfect it is um is this water for me?

I'm assuming it is.

I just ma'am.

Drink it.

Let's all watch Lauren drink water, I guess.

He did it.

What do you think?

Tastes almost.

Here's the thing about water.

It tastes like nothing, but it tastes like something.

You know what I'm saying?

It's odorless.

It's flavorless.

It's water, everyone.

You know, it's really good.

I need it to live.

Why don't you guys talk?

I'm going to get mine because now I'm jealous.

Oh, okay.

So good luck.

He's got to get his.

Oh, there he goes.

He's got to get his.

He's got to stumble.

Oh, head leg peep.

Don't fall down.

We can't work together to lift you off and do all that.

Oh, I was going to say we can't lose you, but that does sound like a pain in the ass.

Wouldn't that suck?

Let's make a deal.

Is there another glass in the cabinet?

Let's make a deal right now.

If he ever falls down, we're not picking him up.

I'm not picking him up.

There's no way.

It's like I will call an ambulance no matter what the circumstances.

I'll call a task rabbit.

I'll call a task rabbit.

Yeah.

Okay, got his water.

Okay, good.

He's all set.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey, what are we going to talk about?

We're talking about you and how much we love you.

Yeah.

Oh, how much is it?

Not much.

We would not pick you up.

That's not very much.

It's as far as my arms can extend.

But it's compared to like the universe.

Y'all need to do it.

What if the universe could fit in here?

Y'all need to duke it out.

And I'm hugging it.

Oh, hell.

So.

So, yeah, what's up?

Yeah, Lauren, what's up?

Why did you call us here?

Well, I wanted to ask you a kind of serious question.

Like,

if you had to, okay, so let's say the floor was lava.

Yeah, yeah.

And you were on the couch, could you jump up to that fan and hold on while it's on, spinning you so you could fly and fling yourself out the door?

Well, I mean, that's the dream, isn't it?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I could.

You actually think you could.

Yeah.

Do you watch Flora's Lava and go like, these fucking idiots?

I've never watched Flora's Lava, but if if I did, I'm sure I would.

I'd like to watch it, though.

I know somebody who's on it.

Oh, who's that?

Her name is Alyssa Sabo.

She was a contestant.

She's been a contestant on a lot of game shows.

Her name's familiar to me.

Ooh, my episode of that show that I did will be coming out soon, where I, the game show, the $100,000 pyramid.

Yeah.

Oh, it was fun.

Maybe it already aired.

I don't even know.

It probably already aired when this is out because it was out in September.

Did they use the same thing?

Oh, well, I think it already aired now.

Oh.

I do think that's

what I literally

like that.

I want to be on a game show once a month.

How do I make this happen?

I need to, like,

I mean, there's ways.

I think it's so funny.

Why don't you tell your agents?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I bet you can make that happen.

That's true.

Can I represent you for only 9%?

No.

Because I don't think you'll do anything.

Yeah, I won't.

Yeah.

If I make.

but I won't make any money.

That's true, but neither will I.

If I make it happen,

can I get...

Because your thing is you just want to be on the game show.

That's the fun of it, right?

That's it for now.

So I would say if I could make you, if I could get you on a game show, me, myself, I could make this happen.

Get you on a game show once a month.

Yeah.

50%.

That's low.

That's so much to ask for.

No, but he, but you just want to play the game.

You would do it for free.

That's not why, exactly.

It's a little bit of both.

It's a little bit of both.

50% is a little bit.

A perfect amount.

I don't know.

50%.

I don't trust you guys.

You can't get a lot.

You don't need to be nervous, honey.

But

in your best interest, don't freak out.

So do you ever look at your Emmys and go, I really did it.

She's talking to Scott, obviously.

I'm just sitting here looking at his Emmys.

I I don't know why, but okay.

I wish I were famous.

Why?

You don't ever say that?

I wish I were famous enough so that I could be on game shows

as a celebrity guest.

You're mad.

But I also wish I was famous enough that people knew how to spell my name.

That is actually driving me crazy at this point when I see this.

At this point, it's like, come on.

Google it.

Here's what's really shocking.

If you're typing someone's name onto Google it, if you're typing someone's name onto something,

you should make sure you're spelling it correctly.

But here's the thing.

I get why people think

they hear it and they think they got it.

But most, most usually, by the time I'm seeing it like on a placard or something, like happened to Comic-Con, it's because it's been written down by the initial person who thought they knew how to spell it.

And then everyone else is just copying.

Why does anyone think it's Thumpkins anyway?

It's either Thumpkins

with an H and the P, yeah, because of that.

Yeah, or it's T-O-M-K-I-N-S, or it's T-H-O-M-K-I-N-S.

But the thing is,

the only time I ever encountered those spellings is when someone is spelling my name incorrectly.

Because Tompkins is not a name, because when you see your own name, you're very aware of it.

It's not a name that I come across that often.

And the only time I see those spellings is when someone is spelling my name wrong.

It's really weird.

That is weird.

Look, should my name have an H in it?

It should.

I'll say it right now.

All right.

Of course it should.

Should you legally change it?

Yeah, I think it should.

I can't.

I can't just

say that.

How about this one?

I was shooting something

with a person that I just met that day, and they were also in the thing,

but we were

using our real names in the thing.

And you can say it's Kirby Enthusiasm.

It was definitely not.

This was a long time ago, but anyways.

So it was.

It was a year ago.

I know.

It wasn't Kirb.

It was not a, it wasn't a scripted thing.

Curb isn't.

Okay, this is Kirb.

Why are you dancing around this floor?

We weren't acting.

Oh, Kerb.

And

this person, like, we'd been doing something for like four hours.

And then they're about to come back and like shoot another piece.

And then she was like, how do you pronounce your name again?

I was like, Lauren.

I think she just had no idea what it was, but that was her way to ask me.

Had she avoided using it?

I guess, but I'm like, first of all, I said my own name in it.

Well, that's it.

Second of all, it's okay if you missed that, but just ask me, just say I totally space on what your name is.

Yes.

Well, it's the way to

couch, like, of course, I didn't forget your name.

I just don't know.

But it's like, my name is so basic.

I know, but that's she thought, like, she was hoping it was something that was complicated.

I forget.

So, there was a comic that had a bit about that, about a way to try to get, if you forget somebody's name, and it's like, oh, yeah, could you spell it?

Might have been Todd Glass.

Could you spell that for me?

Yeah, J-I-M.

Yeah.

Did you see Todd's thing the other day about

if someone's having a boring conversation with you?

Do you have a bathroom?

And then he goes in.

You can hear him loudly just making noise like this.

And then a friend comes to the door and goes, is everything all right?

And he goes, oh, yeah, yeah, I'm just using the bathroom.

Then he comes back and he goes, so hey, man, it was really interesting what we were talking about.

What were you saying?

And then the person starts to retell it.

And he goes, oh, I'm getting a call.

And then he puts the phone up to his ear and it's obviously the recording he made in the other room.

He's like, what's that, honey?

Oh, no, I have to go because my father's dying.

And then suddenly the person knocks on the door.

Hey, what's going on?

Yeah, I'm in the bathroom.

It's so funny.

It's funny.

It's really.

Oh, Todd.

I love it.

I'm glad that he's been doing these

bits on Instagram and everything.

Yeah, it's really funny.

I got to follow him.

He's not taking on any more Instagram clients, though.

You gotta make room for Todd.

Make room for Todd.

Mute somebody else and get Todd in there.

He's doing this thing now where

he's talking to an empty chair.

It cuts back and forth between him and a microphone, and then an empty chair with a microphone in front of it.

And like the one he did most recently was like, I was watching just Judy, and usually she's pretty fair with the other day.

She sent someone to the electric chair.

God, it just brings me so much joy.

I just, I love people.

He's a silly asshole.

He's a fucking dickhead.

Yeah.

I'm sorry to talk about someone other than you, Lauren.

No, I don't know him, but I'm happy to hear the stories, and he sounds great.

And I'll check out his Instagram content.

I love it.

She's so jealous right now.

No, I'm not.

I'm really happy for Scott.

Scott is not your color list.

I really am.

I'm really happy for him.

I'm happy you guys love his stuff.

We'll look at your stuff.

No, I don't want to do Instagram content.

I'll look at your 1,000-dotted lines of Bachelor watch.

I wait to do that until a little bit later in the season

because it's just too much.

That's smart.

That's smart.

But it will be happening soon.

And if you want to hear my thoughts on Bachelor, I was on Arto's podcast.

Will you accept this role?

It's over by now, I think.

It's so good.

I have been watching F-Boy Island, by the way.

Kulop and I have.

What does the F stand for?

Fuck.

Oh, no.

They say it, Paul.

No.

They spray it, too.

Well, my friend created the show.

Elon.

Elon Musk.

I like it.

Kulop likes it way more than The Bachelor.

I think it's good.

I started watching it, but I didn't finish, but I have so many shows that I have to watch.

And it was hosted by Nikki Glazer.

Yeah, she was good on too.

My list is...

ever winding.

And I was just having a conversation with some friends, and they were listing all these shows that we should all watch.

We were all telling, we were all sharing recommendations, and they were majority British shows.

Man,

let's cut British shows just right out.

No, what's great about British shows?

A lot of times there'll be six episodes.

It's just six great episodes, and you're just like, yep, that was awesome.

Like, I like that.

It's very manageable.

And American TV is now getting that manageable with streaming.

Yeah, to its details.

You think so?

Well, to the actors and people who make them detrimental.

Yeah, it's more fun to do.

All those famous people that are in five TV shows?

I think they're doing okay.

That is true.

People do get to do a lot.

The whole business sucks.

It truly does.

Why did we bother?

It sucks at getting suckier.

But there's so many times where actors will be on like five shows, and then I'm like, why are they allowed to do that when I feel like I'm never allowed to do more than one thing?

Every fucking any contract I've signed, it's like you can't do this or that.

I'm like, this guy's doing, he's doing a game show, he's doing this, that, and the other thing.

Because they won't sign those contracts, and you will.

That hurts my feelings.

Oh, listen out, Paul Cross.

May, me, me, me.

May, may, me, me.

May, me.

He's calling for his May May.

I wish my May May was here.

Oh, do you remember your May May?

Vaguely.

I've been having a lot of dreams.

Okay, I'm having a weird thing lately where I actually feel very, I'm feeling very positive and very

like excited creatively about the things that I'm doing and really enjoying them.

But I'm having weird stress dreams

where things are not going well, right?

But I'm not feeling like the daylight fear of that stuff like I often have in the past.

So it's very strange to me that I'm having these

classic stress dreams that I used to have when I was feeling that way all the time.

Do they relate to something else in your life, though?

And your brain is just reverting back to, oh, this is the stress dream that I want to get out of my marriage, but I, oh,

oh,

no, I don't,

know.

I don't know if it's like if it's like the vestiges of that feeling that I've just lived with for so long.

Maybe just every once in a while they trot out the classics.

Yeah.

You know, the one I had recently was great because it was, and they always, always, always will be at my childhood home.

And like

it's, it's like in the house, in my cousin's house, who were right next door because we lived in a duplex.

That's interesting that you're actually going that far.

Suplex.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did you say suplex?

It's it's right above the duplex um i was established on a previous episode so it was called a callback it was winter it was winter and there was like a kind of in the in the we we shared this big backyard thank you this is great oh guys this is good

and i'm all alone oh ho ho no it's not it's it's just winter it's not christmas time oh good boy i don't know if there was a horse oh he left i see

i'm delivering the mail i'm delivering the mail it's january 9th nobody's Nobody's there.

I'm all by myself.

Bye-bye.

And so I'm walking around the back of my house towards my cousin's house in our shared yard

was all water.

It was frozen over.

But I knew there were sharks in there.

And these are the kind of sharks

that could like kind of edge out of the water a little bit.

They like to edge,

but they look like sort of like whales, like small whales.

But I remember, like, so I was walking past, and then one got out of the water and like was trying to like get me.

And I'm walking away from it like, hey, like you, if you saw like a dog in your neighborhood, a stray dog in your neighborhood.

Hey, come on.

Seemed like it was being kind of dicey.

Yeah.

And I was walking around the corner and this shark was like still, he couldn't get me, but he was still trying to.

Yeah.

And I was just kind of watching him in fascination.

And of course, it was scary.

Because it was a shark.

So, and this is, this is related to something.

This is one you've had often, or this is no, I've never had that one before.

Oh, okay.

I had one that I'll tell you off-mic that's a classic for me, but a new spin on an old classic.

I had an earthquake dream the other night, oh, and I really thought I woke up and I was like, oh, yeah, I had a dream about an earthquake.

Then I went on Twitter and typed in earthquake just to see because you know, people always tweet when there's an earthquake, they love it, and no, there wasn't

what an interesting story.

Yeah,

Janie has a good ability to feel earthquakes Yeah, so she's always tweeting about them.

She, she, but she will also feel

about them from her Twitter.

But she will also feel a lot of false earthquakes.

Oh,

and it's like if she just wakes up in the middle of the night, she's like, earthquake.

I'm like, no, no, no, no, there's no earthquake.

Earthquake.

Every single night.

Earthquake.

Earthbreak.

Earthquake.

Earthquake.

Earthquake.

All right.

We have to take a break.

Earthbreak.

I'm Hussa Minhaj, and I have been lying to to you.

I only pretended to be a comedian so I could trick important people into coming on my podcast, Hussin Minhaj Doesn't Know, to ask them the tough questions that real journalists are way too afraid to ask.

People like Senator Elizabeth Warren.

Is America too dumb for democracy?

Outrageously.

Parenting expert Dr.

Becky.

How do you skip consequences without raising a psychopath?

It's a good question.

Listen to Hussin Minhaj Doesn't Know from Lemonada Media, wherever you get your podcasts.

And we're back.

And we are.

We have to be back at this point, right?

Did we introduce ourselves?

Yeah.

Why wouldn't we have?

I think we forget sometimes.

I don't know if we did.

This is the third segment.

People have to have Googled us.

I feel like we owe it.

People have a subscription to the podcast.

Like, wait, who are these three?

What happened to Scott, Paul, and Lauren?

By the way, there used to be a.

You know how Shazam, you can hold a song that's playing up to.

Of course, Solomon, Hercules, Achilles, Zeus.

Who's the other?

Atlas?

Atlas and Mercury, yeah.

So

back when they first invented it, there was a different app that you could just hum a song into and it would tell you what it was.

Back then there was?

Yeah, it was, it was, and then it went out of business or whatever.

And it happens to me so much where I'm like, what is this?

And I've missed that app.

Oh, you mean Ramsey?

Yeah, but I'm doing an obvious one.

But

how about this?

How about this?

I've never heard that one.

Siri, what is this song?

Mary Had a Little Lamb.

No, but there's a new app that does it.

Or no, Google, Google Whatever does it now.

I just heard about this.

I'm so happy.

Google Whatever.

Yeah, Google it chef.

Google whatever.

You can sing a ditty to it.

Yeah, you just sing into it and it'll go, you are listening to I Want It That Way or whatever.

Wow, that's really amazing.

Like singing.

Do doot.

Let's try it, Roddy.

Let's try it right now.

Hello, father.

Here I am at Cam Granada.

Hello,

Mada.

Let's try it.

Let's try it.

I want to see if it's.

How do you do it?

I've never seen it.

You're the one that told me you fucking fall out of the city.

I just free about it, you fucking lunatic.

You just got a piece of shit.

So, what's a song?

Oh, fuck.

I looked up Sing, and it's saying Sing Two.

Sing too?

Okay, I'm going to look up what song is this?

Okay, what is this song?

What song is this?

I don't know how to do it, Paul.

I just thought I'd mention it.

Well, thank you.

I appreciate that.

And teach a man to fish and all that.

I get you.

Yeah.

Whatever.

It's time for a three tour.

Fuck.

Sorry.

This one's called Play It Again.

Oh, yeah.

Now refresh my memory.

Okay.

I don't think I recall.

We play three film critics.

One of us suggests a classic movie that shouldn't have a sequel.

And then we're three film critics describing the sequel to that film.

I don't think we've done this.

We've done it.

Yeah, it sounds familiar.

Okay.

Familial.

And then we talk about the plot.

We talk about the title.

We talk about why it should have been made, shouldn't have been made, what we think of it, all that kind of stuff.

Great.

So, Lauren, do you want to throw out any movie?

Hey, can I make an adjustment?

Yeah.

I don't think we have to talk about why it should or shouldn't be made.

I think the fun is creating the sequel to a movie that should not have a sequel.

Okay,

you want to shut down anyone who talks about why it shouldn't have been.

And I will.

If you start to do it, I'm going to start fucking making noise.

I'm going to lay on the ground.

Okay.

Okay.

I want you to promise me that.

Oh, it is, my dear promise to you.

Google, what is this?

Hello, hello, Marla.

Hello, hello, bada.

The movie is

serendipity.

Hey, everyone.

Welcome back to We Watch the Movies, so you don't have to.

I remember that it happened,

but I don't remember the story.

My co-hosts are having a conversation, and we're already on.

We're not rolling it.

Done?

Yes, we are rolling.

Hi, everyone.

There's a little peek behind the curtain.

Oh, sorry.

We were just kind of catching up about the first one a little bit.

I hope you don't mind.

Anyway, welcome to the show.

No wonder our ratings suck.

It's another thing that you don't have to talk about.

And while the camera's on.

Everyone knows.

Everyone knows.

I know.

Why are you whispering with the microphone on?

That's a good point.

Anyway.

We know we suck, okay?

We're going to do a deep dive on the new sequel to the classic movie Serendipity, Laura.

Starr Joan Cusack and John Cusack.

John Cusack.

John Cusack and Catherine Zeta Zeta.

Oh, I thought Catherine Zeta Jones was in the first one.

I guess not.

Oh, it's

Bridget Romanov, or whatever her name is, who is later to be seen in Sex in the City as

Biggs' new wife.

Well, in any case, Biggs' new wife.

Obviously,

neither of us have seen the first one, but we

did watch this show.

I was lost in the season.

Yeah.

And by the way, it's called Serentupidity.

The Serentupity, the first one, of course, is about John Cusack meets a woman by chance.

Yes.

She writes her phone number in the book, Love in the Time of Cholera.

She hands it off to, or she puts it on a $5 bill.

I don't know what happened.

And they each exchange their number.

I'm too busy looking at Lincoln.

She put one phone number in a book and one phone number on a dollar.

And they send those off into the world.

And they go, hey, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

We'll meet again.

Cut tomb years later.

He's getting married to somebody else.

Oh, no.

Good.

And she

finally finds his number, connects with him, finds him, all that stuff.

And it's serendipity how they meet.

Now, of course, in the sequel, we have them just living their daily lives.

They have a family together.

They're married.

What I thought was really interesting was he did this for all of his children.

He wrote his name on $5 bills and he just left them lying around the house.

Yeah, and if you figure this out, then I'm your dad.

What I thought was interesting about it, and I'm not saying this is good, but I thought was interesting, is that it's almost like a reverse link later, where instead of revisiting these characters, taking years to catch them at various points in their life, it's one 24-hour movie.

Yeah, and it's 24 hours after their wedding, which I thought was really interesting.

They adopted all these children in that 24-hour movie.

And it's really, you you know, not a lot happens in the day.

No, and you're very tempted to sleep.

They're sleeping for

80 hours of it.

But you don't want to miss anything.

It's uncanny that the filmmakers seem to know when you, the audience meant, would be dropping off to sleep because loud noises start flirting.

Yeah.

Alarms, fire alarms, smoke alarms.

Yes.

Yeah.

All sorts of stuff.

That the people on screen can't hear because they're dubbed in later.

No, they're not.

It's not part of the text.

Underneath it's about to wake.

These characters can't hear this.

Yeah.

In case you're wondering why they're not reacting.

Which sort of made me mad anytime I would wake up at, you know, jarring to wake and then see that these people, the first thing I'm learning is like they're, they're sleeping peacefully.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now, here's why I didn't think this movie should be made.

Oh, I thought we weren't going to do it anymore.

You two, Cisco and Ebert, always fighting.

Okay, I won't talk about it.

Sorry.

I think it shouldn't have been made because obviously it's a horrible idea.

I think why it should have been made is because we need to know more about these characters.

We go, we watch the whole first film.

We don't know where they go.

This is the first film that truly answers the question, is there a happily ever after?

Yes.

But how many times do you watch a movie and the movie ends and you go, now what?

Where'd they go?

Where did they go?

Where'd they go?

Why are all these names on?

I do that three times.

Where'd they go?

Are they all right?

Are they dead?

That's why First Killer's Day Off remains the best movie because at the end, the filmmakers take care to have the main character come out and say, go home, the movie is over.

Thank you.

And I appreciate that because it's so often I don't know what happened.

And I'm scared.

Yes.

Yeah.

I'm frightened.

The lights come up.

I'm like, I'm even more frightened now that lights are up.

Yes.

Absolutely.

The world on the screen has disappeared.

And now the world disappeared?

Exactly.

Can people see me?

Am I a ghost?

Yeah.

And this film takes care of that in a really interesting way.

And what I also love about the film is that it's all new actors playing the roles.

They look nothing like the original cast.

Absolutely nothing like them.

There's a difference in ages of about 40 years.

Yeah.

And

they're all birds as well.

I mean, we can spoil it, but every actor is a bird.

If you've seen the trailer, you know that they're all birds i thought it was also weird that the the actors playing the parents were also playing the children and i was and they were bank themselves yeah and they were double cast so they're single lines at the same time like one suggestion i would give like i liked how it was called serenupity yeah but i feel like it could have been serenpity

yeah

because of the birds yeah also seren gas 2k

pithy

was it was one title i thought of what does that mean oh i just thought it would be a good title i thought a good title would be serenetty tippity if it had been all lions instead of Virginia.

Serengeti Tippity.

Yeah, you heard me.

I thought it was interesting how one scene in the middle, the actor's understudies played.

And what I thought was weird was how it was called Serenity.

They were holding something.

I thought it should be called Serengeti Tippiti

Tinnitus.

Tinnitus.

Tinnitus.

Well,

I will praise the movie for the concept.

I think the concept is flawless, but the execution was a little lacking for me.

The execution in the scene, in the middle, the execution scene, yeah.

It was gross.

Yeah, well, he didn't really die.

It was really raw.

And, you know, they gave him his last meal and he wanted ice cream.

And I thought, okay, I'm going to watch him eat a gallon of ice cream.

Really?

He's a bird.

So when they behead him in the guillotine, then the ice cream spills out the neck.

It's like, I didn't know.

And it was like huge.

And then another bird starts eating it.

Oh, my feeling was he didn't get to digest it.

Yeah.

I mean, you don't even give him a minute.

It was also store-brand ice cream, which I thought was a real slap in the face.

It was Kroger.

I thought that was kind of like, could we have, just for the sake of the film, spent a little more on ice cream?

A Briars, a Haagendaz.

Just for his last, it's his last meal.

I mean, look, I don't know.

I don't believe, I don't agree with the crimes he committed, but I feel that he could have had Briars or Haagendaz.

And for me, as someone who's going to be executed tomorrow morning, I thought, is this what I can expect?

Oh, you didn't tell us.

It's tomorrow.

It's tomorrow.

Yeah, they finally said that.

They moved it up.

Yeah.

Oh, thank you.

Congratulations.

They said they got sick of my complaining.

And so they moved it up.

Because you kept saying when, when, when?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And there's like quando, quando, quando.

Yeah.

I was thinking it to them.

And so, yeah, I'm getting excused tomorrow.

Uh, for my last meal.

Yeah, what are you having?

I did an end run because I thought, I bet the quality of the last meal is not that good.

So, I said, I want a Swanson TV dinner because I know what that is.

I know what to expect.

Got it.

So, I'm getting the Salisbury steak, the mashed potatoes, and the apple brown.

Apple pie.

I do worry it won't be that good, but that's fine.

Oh, I forgot to tell them to heat it up.

They might give it to me cold.

Oh, no, frozen.

I didn't know you had to give a swans.

Yeah, I requested to watch Frozen too.

You have to tell them how to prepare it.

What's that?

You have to tell them how to prepare it.

Yeah, I guess that's a little bit.

Down to the last detail.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think anyone would know to put it in the microwave.

Because a lot of times people ask for fried chicken,

they'll just get a chicken and a fryer, and then they have to do it themselves.

Yeah.

That's tedious.

And not even time-consuming.

Like a fryer.

People have to make their own last meals.

Do people understand that?

The prisoners have to make their own last meals.

We don't understand.

Don't order something too complicated because you're going to be there all night.

I'd say if I had to go to the next one, I guess I'd do PB and J.

I was just going to say PB and Yeah, you slap it together.

Anyway, I speak and slap together.

I thought this movie, like, why didn't they?

Oh, the movie, right?

Why didn't they turn the cameras on?

Well, it was all supposed to be audio.

I think that was like a sort of.

It was so strange because you could hear them go, should we turn these on?

And some of them.

Well, they didn't.

Don't worry about it.

They didn't edit that out.

What was the point of the Polaroids then?

But so they described the ice cream pouring out of his neck.

And at that point, see, some of it was like a little too descriptive.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And we don't, also, we don't even know if that's actually what happened.

Yeah, we don't.

Anything.

I mean, that's how you save on it.

It probably was.

They probably didn't film anything.

Because I remember it was the director's voice at the very beginning saying,

this is what happens to the movie.

You'll have to take my word for it.

Yeah.

And he talks for like three of the 24 hours.

Wow.

Describes all of the 24 hours, and then we just sit there in silence and black.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Anyway, great movie.

Yeah.

Five stars.

I'm going to give it my own rating, which is 27 fork spoons with a side of potatoes.

These are not sports.

No.

Forkspoons.

Yeah.

Yeah, got it.

And what are you giving?

I mean, it's the last movie you're ever gonna see, I think.

Well, I want to say very quickly: a friend of mine's son, he's uh two years old and he pronounces the name forky from Toy Story as Fucky, and it's very funny.

That's very funny, yeah, fucky.

Gotta find fucky, fucky.

Um, what about Sucky?

Uh, I don't think there's a character called Sorky, maybe

Aaron Sorkin.

Sure, um, I'm gonna give this a rating of B.

B like B movie, so an A plus,

no, oh, B like

Billy Bathgate.

Oh, Billy Bathate.

That's two B's.

Yeah, two B's.

I get a two B's.

You get a two B's.

Wow.

Incredible.

Amazing.

And what did you give it?

Did you already do it?

A plus.

A plus.

Loved it.

I loved it.

You gave it five stars.

I was so confused the entire time.

I loved it.

I love that feeling, just seeing there going, what am I?

Who am I?

Where am I?

When am I?

Why am I?

Yeah.

Well, that's about all the time we have.

I just want to let everyone know I will be giving the locations of some of the bodies

before I'm executed.

Oh, you should.

That's cool.

I'm glad that you decided to do that.

This will air after that happens, but I'm so I'm not going to do it.

We don't want to know now.

Oh, really?

I'm going to do all but one.

Well, just

to make it interesting for them.

Are you okay?

Oh, my God.

No, he's dying naturally.

This is not justice for the victims.

Under the library.

Oh, my God.

The library.

We have to get air at the library.

Under the library.

Okay.

i'm not gonna check it out we'll let the episode air and then people can do what they want yeah they can do what they want anyway um you want to get out of here yeah yeah uh order you want to get a drink or order drinks now please you want me to order the drink you want me to call the bar

what can i get you hi what do you have you just live in the floorboards i do Okay, we're going to have two gimlets.

Two gimlets coming out.

Oh, I want a Harvey Wahlbang.

No, no, no.

Yeah, he'll have what I ordered him.

He'll have what you're having?

Yes, he will.

And see,

we did it.

We fucking crushed that, guys.

We crushed that shit.

We fucking crushed.

I don't remember if we've ever crushed it.

I don't think we ever have.

It felt new and fresh.

Exciting.

Exciting.

Well, look, you dumbasses.

Here's what you need to know.

We're at freedomusa at gmail.com.

If you want to write to us, send us an attachment of some kind.

Yeah, send us a gift.

Oh, please send us a gift.

Everyone send us a gift.

We're so upset that no one's sending gifts.

Yes.

Send us a gift.

Oh, a gift.

Oh, you want a gift?

Yes, I do.

A gift over email.

I want iPads.

I want.

Please send us iPads.

We're running dangerously low.

We only have five in this room.

We're down to our last five iPads, guys.

And they're all engraved.

You can, of course, leave us a voicemail at HaHala Inpoo.

Ha la

in poo.

Twitter USA at gmail.

No.

Freedom USA.

TwitterUSA at gmail.com.

Send it.

Instagrudle.

Twitter USA.

You can listen to everybody at a Twitter.

That'd be the coolest place.

Okay, Brian.

And everybody goes talk to you for a second.

You're doing it.

Twitter USA.

I want everyone to have a voice.

Lumpy, get in the next episode.

And I'll be tweeting at Prentiss.

Loewy.

Loe.

When we get to the next episode, it'll be our episode.

We'll talk about the Beach Boys.

We'll talk about the Beach Boys.

We need to talk about the Beach Boys.

Starring.

And Kevin.

Tilda Swinton.

All right.

And if you want to hear ad-free episodes, go fuck yourself.

Because we're never doing it.

No, except closely.

Yeah, go to Stitcher Premium or Threedum USAGE at God.

Yeah, go to CBB World.

CBWorld.com.

Okay.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Our healthcare system is broken in so many ways.

We have a healthcare system that's supposed to be taking care of people that is making it literally more difficult for people to put food on the table.

So this season, we'll dive into the challenges headfirst while also thinking about how we can find a better way because we all deserve better.

Uncared for Season 3 from Lemonada Media, available August 6th, wherever you get your podcasts.