Threevisiting: Good Couch, Bad Couch

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I'll see you in your dreams.

Hey, it's me, Steve Burns, and I'm so glad you're here because you and I go way back, right?

Yeah, and look at us now.

Like, we're all grown up.

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I mean, it's always been about you

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Freedom!

Jesus Christ!

Dreedom!

Yeah, we took a quiet approach that time.

Freedom!

Wow, scary whisper, like an horror movie.

Ah, and horror.

And horror.

And rand horror.

How's everyone doing?

Rand horror.

What if she wrote horror novels like Anne Rice?

Ayn Rein.

And

Anne Rand Horror?

Look, just change your name to Anne if you have any name.

Anne Rand Horror.

Welcome to Dreetum.

I love to get a hiss out of Lauren this early in the morning.

Hey, let's tell people what we're doing.

Really?

We're recording four episodes in a row.

Goddamn row.

Yeah.

So if you don't like two in a row, you're not going to like four in a row, bitch.

Or maybe you'll like that the most.

And that's what you'll demand from now on.

That's true.

That'd be great, though.

We just did one Sunday a month, cranked them out, moved it along.

Destroyed our friendships.

destroyed our Sundays.

Yeah, we're no longer able to go to church.

Yeah, well, one Sundays.

Well, it's just one out of a month, yeah.

I know, but what if we destroyed the Sundays and made them break up?

I'm worried the devil's gonna get me.

He probably already did.

No,

and this is how I find out.

They only have one great song, they probably have a lot of which one do you consider their great song?

Um, I consider, hold on, I gotta think of the name of it.

Who are we talking about?

The Sundays.

Oh, oh, his

with the story ends.

They have a million million great songs.

Do you know what they're doing?

They do?

I really know that one.

They only have like three albums.

My favorite song of theirs is I won.

Wait, so you're telling me.

I won the war in the living room.

I want sitting room, of course, the British.

I'm sorry, you're telling me that I'm about to find out that I love a ton of songs by Sundays.

Don't look at me.

He said that.

They're all great.

My ex-girlfriend, it was her favorite band.

Wow.

Well, she was in the band.

Yeah.

So that's not.

Yeah.

But it's her favorite.

Here, let's hear a little bit of I Won by the Sundays.

This is how we're getting through this.

If anyone.

That was just a little.

Did he lie?

Somehow, my computer's frozen at

the spinning wheel.

Is that going to be bad for what we're doing right now?

No, no, it's still recording.

Okay, great.

But I mean, it's bad in the sense of what we're doing right now, trying to listen to the Sundays.

I won't go.

I would love to hear it.

I could play it.

Hey, hold on.

It's supposedly playing.

Hold on, bright eyes.

How's everyone's morning going so far?

Oh my gosh.

Let's ketchup.

I had a banana.

You had a banana.

Was it brown or yellow?

Was it classic Freedom Brown?

Yes.

And don't forget, everybody's got to get out of the building by 3 p.m.

Because there is a carbon dioxide leak and none of those sensors are working anymore.

We forgot to change the batteries.

But you still have eight hours to get out.

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

This is what this show is.

That's listening.

I'm liking it.

It's a good song.

What is it about?

She won what?

I think it's a fight within the house.

It's a fight within the house.

I figured it out.

She won the war in the sitting room.

She won the war, but it cost her.

Oh, no.

Well, that's the thing about war.

It's a good.

Scott, you are right.

That's the thing about war in.

It's not just fun.

Welcome to Threedom.

I'm Paul.

I'm Scott.

Oh, no.

I'm Lauren.

What happened there?

Lauren's there because he thought I was going to talk.

I never asked if you wanted your headphones.

That's a very common feeling around here.

I don't want them turned up.

That's for sure.

Do you want them turned down?

Indeed.

Indeed.

Just a little.

Sure.

But so you have to.

How's your Sunday, Lauren?

What's going on?

My Sunday is going through the middle.

What does Lauren Lapkus do on a Sunday?

This is the same thing I do every morning.

I got up with Holly and we played in the living room.

What is playing?

Like, what what do you do with the player?

We played with musical instruments.

Which one?

We played on the couch.

She likes tambourine and she likes the little xylophone.

Which couch?

The main couch.

The one in that room.

Scale of one to 10.

How comfortable is that?

It's actually an a million.

I got the best couch.

I'm not kidding.

Really?

I splurged on a really nice couch.

We somehow got

good couches, like nice-looking couches.

Oh, no, not good couch, bad couch.

Yeah,

they look great, but they're not amazingly comfortable.

One goes to get coffee, and then the other one comes back in.

If I lie on them for like a few hours, my back hurts,

which is bad for a couch, right?

Yeah, yeah.

But this is this is the pretty this is the plight of the tall, is it not?

This is why I got a very long couch, it's a very fluffy couch,

and it looks great.

Oh, you got it from Tesla.

It's from Tiffany Couches.

It's a Tiffany Tesla.

Hi, I'm Tiffany Tesla.

Elon Musk is inside of it, massaging you as you lay.

Oh,

he is.

Do you know what?

I bet he's bad at massages.

I bet he gives terrible massages.

Yeah, but he always gives me that.

He's someone who thinks about others.

Oh, of course, there was once one.

Yeah.

It's like, sorry, babe, I'm bad at massages.

I'll do you for two seconds.

The I'm bad at massages thing is rough because it turns out I am bad at them, but I try.

Kulap said she was really good at them when we first started dating, and she turned out she was bad at them.

Yeah.

And that was a tough conversation.

Does she recognize that now?

Does she know what?

Well, I was like, hey, don't press down on my spine, please.

Oh,

Mike says

I don't do it hard enough.

And I'm like, I'll use all my strength in my body, and it's just not.

Do you use your elbow?

Or my motherfucker.

No, I don't do my elbow.

I mean, just my hands, but it's not doing anything.

You do the people's elbow.

The people's elbow.

The hands.

Yes.

Nature's elbow.

No, you fools.

It's a wrestling reference.

What?

Who wrestled?

Jane the Rack Johnstown.

Johnstown?

Wow.

What did he tell?

Why did he say that?

Jane the Rack Johnstown.

Why did Jane say that?

Because he would like, you know, he would like give, he would do like a flying leap and then hit you with the elbow.

And he'd say that's what he would do.

The people's elbow.

He would call that the people's elbow.

He was a very populist wrestler.

Wow.

That guy, that guy retired.

Who, The Rock?

Jane the Rock?

Vince McMahon.

In shame.

Vince McMahon.

In shame.

In shame.

I think so.

I don't know anything about it.

He had so many.

Are we talking about real people against him?

No, we shouldn't do it.

He had so many accusations against him, I believe.

I did not know such thing.

He didn't mention that in his announcement.

Oh, he didn't.

Hey, look, guys.

Sorry.

Way too many accusations against me.

After 100 accusations, I now have to retire.

Well, like, what's that?

What do they say when someone just lost a match?

Goodbye.

Great.

Is Is there a standard thing that I think they declare the winner?

Well, I don't think they slap on the floor.

Okay.

So someone did that next to him.

It would have been more fluid had I known possibly what it was.

I would have been a phrase that I said.

Yes, as he was pinning an underling down, someone slapped the mat three times.

He would be no, his accusers pin him down, and then other people slap the mat.

That's right.

And then people are saying,

how do you like it?

Like, I don't know anything about it.

I'll say that.

I'll say that 10 more times.

I don't claim to know anything about it.

Hey, I I don't either.

And I want to keep talking about it.

Yeah.

What do we think wrestling is?

I think it's a beautiful play.

Let's start there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It is a beautiful play.

It is kind of a

moment.

It's an improvised play with beats.

Right.

In eighth grade, a friend of mine got into the beats.

Everyone's wearing beats.

WWF.

What, Lauren?

When I was in eighth grade, a friend of mine.

I can't hear you.

We're talking.

It's like minute two.

When I was in eighth grade, my friend got very into WWF

It was the F standard.

But the World Wrestling Federation.

Federation.

Federation.

Fetterman.

Wayne Federation.

The World Wayne Federment.

Wayne Wayne Fetterman.

That's what it is.

And she always wanted to watch it.

And we would watch, Can You Smell

what the Rock is Cooking?

And like, all those guys.

And how do you not know about the People's Elbow?

Because I didn't really care.

I just remember watching it.

Watching it supportively for your friend.

And it was kind of an interesting thing.

I think I've talked about this before, maybe, or just in my life, but

her house was always really fun.

And I loved going there.

And

she had little siblings and they were so funny.

What was fun about her house?

Well,

part of what was really fun about it, and this is the part that now as an adult, I see as being maybe not fantastic, is that her mom had gone through a divorce recently.

Oh, fine.

So there was nothing in the house.

Nothing in the house.

So it was, we could run around, we could play, we had a big, like big yoga balls, we bounce them all over the place, jump on them,

do whatever we want.

It's because she had no possessions.

Because her ex-husband took them off.

Go ahead.

I don't know.

Yeah, so looking back, I think, well, that's too bad.

But at the time, really fun.

And my friend was also allowed to put whatever she wanted on her walls and stuff.

And it was like, you know, it was kind of like

magazine cutouts and clippings and celebrities.

Of The Rock.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then we would watch, we'd watch The Rock.

Do you think she wanted a strong father figure and that's why she liked The Rock and Wrestling?

Probably, yeah.

No, her dad lived around the corner.

It was really no big deal.

Right will be my father figure.

Put your time on.

I'm wrong what he's cooking.

I've never heard you.

It was so mirthful.

She wanted The Rock to suplex her mom.

Oh, yeah.

Suplex?

Oh, yeah.

What's that?

I believe it's a wrestling.

Yeah.

It's above.

It's the floor above.

What are you doing over there?

Yeah, Paul has been fiddling with

chords and stuff for the past seven Yes, I've been paying attention and participating.

P-Y-O-C?

And I don't mean cords on a guitar.

P-Y-O-Bring your own cords.

Yes, I had a, I thought this would be a help, this connector, which is.

A connector is brought.

Wow, that was really.

And it was giving me

peeking.

It was like peeking in my headphones.

It's giving me peaking.

It's giving peaking.

You know what?

It's giving distortion.

Paul, those headphones are better for you.

What's that?

Oh dear.

I said those headphones are better for you than the ones you usually use.

Yeah, well, I'm using over-ear headphones because if I use in-ears for an entire day, I think I'm going to be unhappy.

Yeah.

And I'm going to take it out on you guys.

Uh-oh.

Earbuds are very bad for you, I think.

For your hearing.

Earbuds are very bad for you.

Because I've had troubles with your tinnitus.

Oh, no.

Here we go with Scottish.

Tinnitus.

Troubles.

It's tinnitus.

Well, okay, I said tinnitus.

Oh, my God.

I said tinnitus to Huey Lewis, and he corrected me and said, tinnitus.

Sorry, Huey, but it's tinnitus.

No one's ever said tinnitus.

I've heard tinnitus before, but fuck that.

It's tinnitus.

I'll be googling.

It's supposedly tinnitus.

Which would you rather say tinnitus?

I would rather say tinnitus all the time.

It's so fun all day.

Everything.

This sounds like you're saying something ridiculous.

It reminds me.

It's dick nitrogen.

It reminds me of tinnitus and rhymes with pinnace.

Pinnace.

When I think about my tinnitus, I think about my pinnis.

I have tinnitus of the pennis.

And the titus.

My penis is too loud.

People pronounce it tinnitis as if it is a condition such as laryngitis.

However, it's actually pronounced tinnitus.

As if it's a condition such as.

Yeah, that's why I'm doing it.

Tinnitus.

It just makes sense.

The English is so strange.

But maybe that's.

No, see, it says British people say tinnitus and American.

See, when I first heard someone say tinnitus, I assumed it was a British person like Sanitani.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, I don't say urinal.

I've got a tinnitus of the ear.

I was at a urinal.

I've got a little bit of tinnitus inside my head.

A little bit of tinnitus in my head.

A little bit of tinnitus in my head.

Here's what I gleaned, though, Paul.

Since cleanings?

I started having.

Scoobita-dit-dut-dud-ditch.

Scott's cleanings.

Because tinnitus really flared up when he had the earbuds.

I started because I went to

Palm Springs once and I spent all day out there.

Oh, I've been there a million times.

I've been there so many times.

You're not allowed to play music outside in Palm Springs.

Right.

But I'm in all of Palm Springs.

In all of Palm Springs.

Wow.

In the city limits.

You're not allowed to play outdoor music.

And they will.

That's why all Airbnbs suffer in Palm Springs.

They will.

They will.

Well, you have to go to a hotel and hear their shitty music by police.

Yes.

So

it's like a neighborhood thing.

The police will literally come and find the owners of the place.

They got nothing to do, I guess.

So I was wearing.

They'll come and find it's like the child catcher.

Where is that noise coming from?

Butterfly net.

Yeah.

To your stereo.

So I wanted to listen to music because I was on vacation.

And you're really

dude.

I was reading John Hodgman's book.

And so I put on my iPod for six hours or whatever and with earbuds.

And then I started having trouble with my ears whenever I would podcast.

It would just get really horrible.

Six hours.

Yeah, out by the pool.

That's so rude.

Not talking to anyone.

Not really reading the book, but just

my eyes glazing over, reading the same sentence 4,000 times.

In the 102 days, not comprehending anything.

But yeah, so then I

started reading because my sound person on the Ferns movie gave me some headphones.

It was like, oh, this will help.

Because I was wearing earbuds when I was at the monitors trying to listen to stuff.

That's crazy, too.

Why don't you put on the overeats?

That's what he gave me.

And he gave me some special overears.

And then the more I started researching it, the more I was like, oh, shit, you're only supposed to to wear like earbuds for an hour like and that's it really or otherwise it damages your hearing anyway so i would no matter what the volume is yeah

but if you're rollerblading in a marathon thank you lauren yeah i mean if you're on if you're on like an episode of charlie's angels and you're rollerblading yeah yeah yeah where you're an episode of charlie's angels yeah that's where that happens and that's only where that happens it's the most common place sure yeah of course but or if you're an opening montage of somebody being in california and they show venice Beach for two seconds.

Sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I would love to be in one of those, man.

You can.

Someday.

How?

I'll make a show and I'll put you in it.

Would you please only in the opening montage?

Rollerblading?

You're in the opening montage, which is on the beginning of every episode.

It's the exact same opening montage every time, but we don't draw attention to it and then you get residuals.

Don't draw attention to it.

Do you get residuals to do it?

No one says

the same opening montage.

I had a friend who did.

Really?

Yeah.

No more can be said about that.

Well, I didn't mean the opening theme song.

I mean there's a montage.

There's just a montage.

Oh, really?

Of like people preparing to go rollerblading.

There's rollerblading.

There's people playing volleyball.

So the show has started.

Yeah.

The new episode.

We're kind of setting the scene.

And that montage is always a part of it.

Yeah.

No matter what.

That's why we don't say it's the same one.

It's a separate montage.

No matter where the first scene is.

The first scene's in an office.

We see the people rollerblading outside, swimming and stuff.

Playing volleyball.

Boy, I wish I was in Los Angeles, right?

Yeah, that was their daydream they were always having.

It sounds like a good show.

It does sound like a good show.

It sounds like a good show.

Sounds like something I'd watch every single day of my freaking life.

Speaking of, anybody watching anything good?

I will tell you this.

I recently saw a video about baseball in Finland.

Whoa.

And basically...

What happened was a guy from Finland went to America.

No.

You know,

in the early 1900s or something.

One guy, only one guy wouldn't.

They they could only afford to fly

they sent one yeah, they're like go check out America.

There was no internet

They're like go write down everything you see and take some pictures Yeah in your mind and draw them this guy saw some baseball games.

He was fascinated by it.

Wow came back to Finland.

He's like there's this stick.

Let's start there.

Honestly, it is a so it's pretty much like that.

Really?

He explained it to the best of his recollection.

Oh, well, that's a mess.

It's

so then they tried to play it?

It's so they still do play it that same way.

It's their version of it.

Yes,

based on this guy's easy matter.

He's learning how to play.

Yes, he's playing.

Here's how baseball is played.

First of all, it's called baseball.

Here's how baseball plays.

Here's how baseball plays.

What are the main differences?

Like, what do they use as a bat?

Everything is different.

They use a bat, but the bases are like a zigzag pattern.

If you get to third base, it's a home run.

If you weren't paying attention, though, you wouldn't probably pick up the fact that they're in a square.

Now, here's Diamond.

If you weren't paying attention, but

baseball famously lasts eight hours long.

Yeah.

And there's no way you cannot see the ball.

But maybe he couldn't stay because he had to go investigate the rest of America.

I think he got drunk at the game.

That's probably what happened.

Passed out.

But it's

so.

So zigzag pattern.

If you get to third, you win.

You get a point.

There's like a big round plate at home plate that if you circle?

Yeah.

it's but it's like it's raised, it's like a like a trash can lid turned upside down.

That seems okay.

It's so if you, there's something about if you get a ball, if you throw the ball in there, like I think you only get three swings.

That's it.

And if you throw the ball onto the circle plate, it's a strike or something.

It's wild.

Can I just

that if you did describe baseball exactly right, it still sounds like what you just said.

That's true.

Like everyone, everyone gets up.

And

the way through and sings about it.

They land on these little diamonds.

I disagree.

First of all, the word diamond, I think, would be extraordinarily helpful.

Yeah, that would be.

Diamond.

But then you're also talking about clubs, like baseball clubs.

They land on these little flat little things.

You need a lot of heart to play.

Flat little things

called baseball.

It's too confusing.

They're not even flat, though.

They're three-dimensional.

That's the other thing.

Home plate is famously shaped like a little house.

Yeah.

It is famous.

Yeah.

It's famous for being the most house-like shape.

But wouldn't that be a weird thing if someone came back and said, so then what they have, they have a little house at the beginning.

You start at a house, but that's home.

Well, you would, yes, you would say home.

I hope the hardest.

I may be just putting it together that it's shaped like a house.

I don't think I ever have really thought that either.

I might lie and say I have, but I don't think I have.

Is that why it's shaped that way?

Yeah.

I don't know.

A hundred percent.

I bet it is.

Wow.

It's funny, isn't it?

Isn't that fun?

The most obvious answer is the red one.

It's like Ockham's razor.

Acham.

So when I say Huey Lewis told me, I was pronounced Acham.

So why isn't first base shaped like a one?

Second base shaped like a three?

Well, that would be easier.

Third base shaped like a three.

So that would be harder to get on base, I think.

What if they wrote number one on it?

Oh.

Just to kind of keep it clear.

I like how it's like everyone remembers which is which.

I guess it's good that I've written a number of people.

They memorize the first thing you do in baseball.

They memorize what.

They don't give baseball players enough credit for memorizing.

For memorization.

has there ever been a time?

Do they go out to the same places every time when they're in the field?

Paul, has there ever been a time you're the baseball fanatic here?

Has there ever been a time?

Don't speak so soon.

Has there ever been a time where someone hit the ball and then started running towards third?

And everyone's like, no, no, dude.

There must have been.

Well, but I would see it.

Were they doing dizzy bats?

Back at

Dizzy Bats.

Why don't they do that after every game?

I don't know.

At least for like 4th of July or something.

And you're going to see major league players do Dizzy Bats.

That'd be so fun.

For the All-Star game.

Do Dizzy Bats.

I like that.

Like between the home run derby.

Exactly.

If they have a home run derby, why don't they have a night of Dizzy Bats?

I want

Dizzy Bat Night.

Also,

make that be a thing where you come to the stadium and it's like, it's Dizzy Bat Night.

And

the players have to do Dizzy Bats before the game and then they throw up.

And everyone gets a whipped pie to the face.

Yes.

Wait, what?

A whipped cream pie.

No, it's a whipped pie.

Just a pie that they whip.

Uh-huh.

Look, we're going to, we're going to have This is the highest meringue you've ever seen.

We're going to have to pick this up after the break.

Oh.

Okay, we got to take a break.

All right.

If you say so.

Here we go.

Goodbye.

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School season, little boys and girls.

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And we're back.

Did you say I want some prizes or some surprises?

I want surprises.

Lauren immediately went to Instagram.

What I really need to do.

That's my addiction.

I have a

nice little sight line on her phone here.

And it is like she picked up her phone the minute we said, let's go to a break.

I got a sight line in that gorgeous boot.

And I saw Minkus from Boy Meets World.

I will plug my friend's contract.

From Boy Meets World?

Minkus.

Who's Minkis?

You saw Jane Kiss from Boy King World.

Who's Minkus?

Okay.

My friend Danielle Fischel, who played Topanga on Boy Meets World, has a new podcast called Pod Meets World.

This is a podcast that I actually, I'm finding it fascinating.

Wait, is it?

Because it's a friend of yours.

I hope it's a celebrity breaking down the television show that they were on.

It is, but do you know what makes it really good?

And I figure, because I was like, I'm typically, I don't listen to shows that recap

were actually on.

That they were on.

Okay.

I don't typically listen to that.

Everyone can do whatever they want.

You listen to static, maybe.

I do.

Really loud in my earbuds for six hours by the pool.

But what it is, is what makes it so interesting is it's three of the stars from the show because they were child actors on it.

So they're telling, they're shedding light on what it was like when they were like 13, 15.

The abuses, of course, all that stuff.

And

they're really honest about it.

There wasn't a lot of abuse so far, but I'm saying.

Did you say Real Perlman?

No, Lou Pearlman.

Okay.

Lou Perlman and Real Real.

I just want to

finish my topic because it's not that they're saying there's a lot of abuse.

I just want to stop being play and start getting Rio Perlman.

True story.

But anyway,

it's really raw and real, and I really like it.

And I'm really enjoying it.

So if you might be interested in that, you should listen to it.

You like things that are raw and real.

I do.

I love.

Sex.

Yeah.

I love to watch raw porn.

Raw.

Like the unedited version.

Yeah,

I want to see the the breaks.

I love watching porn dailies.

People drinking water in between scenes.

Scenes.

Asking questions about logistics.

Yeah.

That sounds like a lot of fun.

Should we

on an episode that'll become

into recapping some television show that we've all watched?

I'm trying to think of

a show that

we have comedy bang bang every episode of the podcast and the TV show.

You'll have 8,000 episodes.

I don't remember any of these.

And then you'll be in the grave.

Podcast.

Well, you don't have to remember it.

You just watch it back and you talk about it.

Watch it back.

Yeah.

Yes.

Play it on your laptop.

Well, we always did like fake commentaries for the TV show episodes.

It would be fun to do.

That's where Jarles came from.

Yeah.

It would be fun to do like real commentary.

On the DVD or something?

Yeah.

Because what was happening?

I don't remember.

I don't remember.

Neither do I.

How many hours have we podcasted?

That's scary to consider.

Individually and cumulatively.

Lauren, you're going to get a taste of what it's like when we do the best ofs for Comedy Bang Bang.

What do you mean?

Because we do them.

Oh, we do them all in one day.

All in one day.

I'm going to get a taste of that.

Oh, you're today.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was like, what's going on?

What am I doing?

Well, what am I doing here?

I didn't mean it to be like a threat.

You're going to get a taste

of my knuckles in a sandwich.

Yeah, I mean,

just a taste.

I think it's going to be interesting to watch us, you know, sort of devolve into nothingness.

Sure.

Into nothingness.

We'll just be little puddles on chairs.

Yeah.

That'd be cool.

Do you ever buy anything from Goop?

Hold on a second.

You know what?

Before we get to Goop, do you remember when Fred Flintstone got yelled at by his boss and he shrunk?

No.

Did he become the size of that little Magoo alien?

He was talking to a kazoo or whatever?

Yeah.

Dub-dubs.

He was talking to his boss on the phone.

His boss was chewing him out and he shrank down.

Because he was humiliated.

Yes.

And that's what would happen on that show?

Okay.

Every episode.

That was so pointless.

And he would be him trying to get

his morale up so he can grow again.

What was the point of Flintstones?

It was just never at a point.

What were they trying to do?

Can I say that the great comic book writer, Mark Russell, did a 12-issue run of the Flintstones, which is incredible.

You know what?

I would love to be in a movie like the Flintstones.

Doesn't that seem fun to act in?

It does seem fun.

Speaking of goop, why did you ask me that?

Oh, I saw some goop shower something in our bathroom today, and I was like,

people are still ordering goops.

Like it's brand new.

Well, first of all, people meaning your wife.

Your wife?

Yes.

i feel like i'm not on there online tracking everything she orders by the way and that's probably mixing things

could have flown me but you but you get in the show and you go people are still buying like things just appear i thought it was like a joke thing no it's not a joke well her vagina candle Well, I mean, just the company.

No, I don't think it's a joke at all.

It would be funny if Bwynnet Paltrow was like, I'm going to, this is for fun.

I thought she did something for fun recently, like a prank, and everyone took it seriously.

Well, yeah, she did.

She's

impractical joker.

She put online like a diaper that was made out of like gold and that was like gold leaf diapers and it was for sale.

Oh fuck.

No, no, no, no, no.

It was a joke to raise awareness about how things are not affordable like that.

And

there's like a diaper.

She's not the one to make that joke.

I don't look.

I think we have to get into the ins and outs of what she was trying to do.

Bono should make it which I didn't know.

Yes.

He seriously gives homeless people $100.

That being said,

I have never ordered anything from Goop, but I have spent time on the website.

And my friend recently told me about something that she thought i would like from there which is a patio umbrella and she was like i can get you a discount and i said i'm interested wait is this gwyneth herself no just a random friend

i can get you a discount on a patio umbrella but i was gonna look and see well that's the thing i haven't looked at yet because i'm like well is it still gonna be five trillion dollars because it's goop so i might not get it but maybe it's quality i mean there's well that's the company

split the difference between like target and goop oh yeah but i love target no target's great i go to target all the freaking time.

But sometimes I feel like the stuff at Target is like, okay, you can buy this, but in two years, it's going to be fine.

For sure.

A lot of it's fast fashion and fast.

Do you know Janie Hedda Tompkins, who I'm married to?

Oh, yeah, I've heard of her.

Janie Hadda Tompkins.

Wow, and you've never even done that one.

She, he was waiting for me to say the full name.

She loves to enter.

contests, sweepstakes, things like that.

She loves it.

I love it.

She loves it.

And one time she won this

portable cabana, like a beach cabana.

And so we set it up.

There was like one part.

Set it up on the beach or set it up outside in your house.

We set it up in the car.

Weird.

It was awkward.

We set it up on the beach.

Random.

It was random.

And there was one part that we couldn't quite figure out.

I beg your pardon?

I said that part.

We couldn't quite figure out how it came together.

And we got it together as best we could.

Turns out it did not matter because it was broken,

which we found out later.

But then also it was so fucking windy that this thing almost took off into the sky.

Like we were,

we were sitting under it and like sand is just blowing all around us, but we were, you know, out of the sun.

And then this thing like flew up in the air and we had to jump up to our feet to

grab it so it didn't become a weapon.

That's Wizard of Oz shit.

That's scary.

But that thing was broken.

And we, I think they sent her, they were going to send her an

just be like, no,

she was like, don't worry about it.

I once won a sweepstakes when I was little.

Would you won?

Toys are us.

And I won a

three little pigs house.

And it was hopefully the brick.

Oh, God, I hope it was the brick.

It was made of cardboard, but it was

for me to play in.

Oh, it was like size.

Or pig-sized.

Yeah, just like me, a little oinker.

I could crawl inside it.

This is when you were the size of a pig.

Really fun, yeah.

But then you grew to be an adult and put away pigs.

Well, my arms went through both sides of the house and my legs popped through the bottom.

And I realized I either had to wear it as a dress or donate it.

Right.

Yeah.

What did you decide to do?

I donated to the garbage.

I killed a giant bee in my home that was

maybe a hornet.

It had something.

I could hear it buzzing from upstairs.

So it was not a bumble, not not a big bumble, a queen.

It was a

like really loud.

And it was very big.

I could see it like from far away.

It might have not been a bee.

How did you kill it?

I don't, it was definitely a bee, but I don't know what style of bee it was.

A killer bee, maybe?

Whoa.

And Applebee.

What I did, I was panicking because

obviously with Holly, I'm even more concerned about.

Oh, yeah.

Has she ever been sung by a bee?

No, but I got stung by a bee like a month ago.

Oh, no.

Jesus.

I know.

So yet another reason I wanted to get rid of this motherfucker.

Yeah.

So, with extreme prejudice, yeah, not again, not in my house, not in my house.

So, I can sleep.

Or my wife.

I was panicking because I was, I had to act quickly, and there was nothing really around me.

So, I grabbed a can, a glass candle.

Glass?

It landed on a screen on the window.

I had a holder on

a glass candle with wax in it.

It's a candle.

Why are you

welcome to earth?

It's made of glass, and the container is like a glass and there's wax inside with a wick.

Oh, I see.

But the candle isn't glass.

It's a Scott, Scott.

Come on.

I'm thinking of a big long glass.

It's stuck.

It's not a dildo check.

Oh my God, Scott.

It's like grabbed a dildo chicken.

So I grabbed a glass candle and I put it on it like a, you know, like trapping it like a cup over the window.

And then I had to rip a paper out of a book that was kind of far away.

So I had to use my foot and like pull it over.

I got out of a journal.

And then I ripped out a piece of paper.

And then I.

Polly wasn't helping?

No, she was, thank God, upstairs.

And so I shoved the

paper in, and it cut off the stinger.

Like, I just happened to trap it in such a way

that it like cut it off and it fell off.

And then it was basically writhing.

I'm like,

did it shrink like Fred Flintstone?

Yeah, it was so humiliated.

And I threw it outside.

And I was so proud.

I was really like, wow, I really just did that.

Keep dicing.

First, I will say first, I swatted at it with a pillow, which was kind of safe.

Yeah.

That's go-to move number one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I was pretty proud of myself.

Also, by the way, Mike saw two black widows in our yard.

Ew.

You've got to move.

Killers.

Two black widows.

Bam, blam.

I will say that when we have spiders in the house,

neither Janie nor I am big fans.

And so, but what I, so that's my job.

And so what I will do is,

because the enemy of my enemy is my friend,

I will scoop the, I use a manila envelope and I scoop the spider into the envelope.

How?

And then you open the end.

I open it up.

I mail it up to Spider-Man.

I believe you lost this.

They all arrive dead and

like,

I will either, if it's on the wall, on the floor, or whatever, scoop it up with the, um, with the, the flap so it gets in the envelope, and then I, I release it outside.

That's it.

But often I will do this without even telling Janie.

So do you have manilas all over the place ready to go?

Why

do you not tell?

Janie, Because you don't want her to think you live in a spider house.

Yeah.

Well, like, she can never know the truth.

Here's one that happened like the other day.

I was standing in the kitchen and then I looked down

a fucking bug crawling on me on my dress.

I don't even know

how, how, how.

And so I went crazy and like flipped it up.

And then it fucking disappeared.

Like, where did it go?

Yeah, that's when that happens, that's fucking terrible.

I can't deal with that.

I'm like, where'd you go?

You just go lay some eggs somewhere?

Like, what's your fucking plan, dude?

I don't like you we had one where this dress isn't safe better go lay some eggs on monday i guess cool and cool debated

cool up debated telling me this but i guess there was a lizard in this room oh

a lizard lizard it doesn't gross me up

lizards engross me out i love them when i went to costa rico

they were only got little teeny babies that are like an inch yeah yeah yeah i when i see one scamping around around outside i'm like ha ha lizard but like when i went to costa rig i wouldn't want it inside they all they all like while you sleep, they're above you on the ceiling.

You have talked about this, and I think that's actually horrible.

Yes.

I would not want to do that.

But those are also different lizards, aren't they?

Those are different types of lizards.

I wouldn't be able to sleep with them.

There's two types of lizards in the world.

Hey, there's two types of lizards in the world.

There's the one that watches you while you sleep in Costa Rica.

Hey, the other one scampers around outside.

But yeah, there was one in here.

And then, okay, so then one helped me.

How'd she get it?

How'd she get it?

Open the door and shoot it out?

I think so, yeah.

And then there was a big debate about whether they should tell me or not.

Oh, you guys are at podiums?

Here's why I don't think we're going to be able to do it.

Linked Douglas debate.

You have 30 seconds to respond.

I think he's going to cry himself to sleep if he knows there was a lizard in here.

But here's the one.

No, you can't tell them.

Here's the one that

was really bad was in our old place where Kulup and I first lived together.

I went into my office.

Oh, your plant's dead.

Yeah, it is.

The plant that I never asked for.

I killed a plant that was supposed to get that big.

Now it looks like some Dr.

Seuss shit.

Yeah, it actually actually is interesting when you think about it.

So I walk into my office and I'm just stunned because there's a rat.

No.

That's a different story.

And it just like takes off me.

And I was like, did I even see that?

It was so weird to just see a rat.

I had.

Oh, no, no, no.

Janie and I were.

I feel like, I can't remember

what caused this, but Janie and I were sitting in the living room one night and

I

was, I think it was that I was just very tired

because I'm sitting on a couch.

We can talk about my couches in a second.

Sure.

So you're tired, so you decide, hey, I'll sit on a couch.

I get it.

Yeah.

Step number one: sit on the couch.

See how that makes any difference.

Yeah.

And so Janie is in this chair.

We have a recliner in the living room.

And I saw,

like, kind of behind her,

I saw

what looked like a rat

just casually like like walk across the floor.

Whoa.

No.

And I said,

I don't want to alarm you, but I want you to get out of that chair and I want you to come over here.

And then I looked all over for this rat.

No.

That did not exist.

So you just

went through a hole.

I full-on hallucinated.

No.

Whoa.

No, there was no hole.

But I just can't they go under the hole.

They can go into the tiniest hole.

I have two stories.

One is that I

sit.

Well, I have three.

I live.

You guys are going to pick me up.

I want to complete my rat story at some point.

Okay, that's fine.

You can have that goal.

I

once lived in a place

that had rats in the walls, I come to find out.

Oh, shit.

I didn't know that,

obviously.

So you're at the Scritchy Scratchy.

Yeah, well, no, I saw a poop.

And I go, oh, there's rat poop.

And then Mike goes, it's lizard poop.

I go, it's not lizard poop.

Mike.

He was trying to tell us, don't be worried, it's lizard poop.

No, Mike.

And I was like, that's rat poop.

And it turns out you could hear him in the walls.

And then this guy came to kill them or you remove them.

And he would, he walked out.

I did not live in this place long.

He walked out with

handfuls of rats by the tail.

Was this the third place?

That's what I'm going to say.

I didn't see that, but Mike did.

Handfuls of rats by the tail.

Yes.

It was a very like

a place.

But not a nurture place.

No.

The other thing that was funny, and maybe I told you this story.

Hold on a second.

This is Mike's account is handfuls of rats by the tail.

There were at least, yeah.

No, there were, there were.

That this guy walked out from

under the house.

From under the house.

There were so many.

No, no, I'm not kidding.

Okay, but anyways,

my dad was visiting once and this was years ago.

And we went out to dinner and then he was like, I got to tell you something.

I saw a big bug in your house.

He was like, He goes, It was like this big.

I was like, inches, inches long.

And I was like, Why the fuck are you telling me?

Like, it was like not a cockroach, but something in that vein, like something just scary.

Okay.

And I was like, What are you talking about?

Why'd you, why are you telling us now?

He's like, Because he goes, I saw this huge bug.

And I was like, What happened?

He's like, I don't know where it went.

I was like, I hate the story, and I wish you never told it.

Horrible story.

Okay.

Cut to

an hour later, we're home, we're watching TV, we're sitting on the couch having a great time.

My dad turns into the bug it was we

out of the corner of my eye crawling along the arm of the couch is the right by my eye is the fucking bug it's huge huge so then i start screaming i'm like

and my dad is so badass he got up he just grabbed it with his palm like he just grabbed in his fist and then opened the door and threw it out the door that's fucking and it was and there were legs

there were legs stuck on the couch like he just did it you

i couldn't do it it.

He wanted to protect you.

He just went, get the fuck out of here.

Would he have done that if you hadn't been there?

Or would he have gone?

Yeah, wow, wow, no, no, he's very old world in that sense, doesn't give a fuck.

That's the thing, like, our ancestors.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so, Rat.

Hold on a second.

Oh, my God.

When you see in a movie, like a bug crawling on them.

When you see a movie,

take it.

See a film, fake it.

find a book.

Like somebody has a tarantula crawling on them or something.

I don't know if I could do it if I was called upon to do that.

Oh, I really would not want to see it.

I was like,

these days they make him CGI, which is not effective.

To scare the actor?

Well, no, no, yeah, no, like you're the elder CGI.

No, like in the mummy.

I know, I don't like that.

It was Indiana Jones inspired, but all the bugs were fake.

The scrabs.

Oh, it's so obvious.

And they look super fake.

It just doesn't do anything to my soul as a viewer.

But when you watch Indiana Jones and there's a million spiders everywhere, you're like, ah,

this sucks.

Well, I love practical effects.

I do too.

Janie once went to, with her, with her mom and stepdad, she went to this

exhibition.

It was some science exhibition or something, and they had all these kinds of insects from all over the world or whatever.

They did not know what was in this room.

They walked in, the hair on Janie's arms stood up before she even saw anything.

What?

Yes.

She has like spy her sense herself.

I guess.

So

she knew something bad was gonna be in the room.

She just like something was telling her, Hey, don't be in here.

Get the fuck out of here.

I got that when I walked in here.

Oh,

all right.

Rat story.

So, rat.

All right.

I found this rat

conclusion.

Am I

hallucinating this rat?

Because it just wasn't

there.

Because Paul did not.

Yeah, he's trying to get it.

So I was like, you know what?

I'll finish my story after you finish yours.

My copy of the end.

The best thing to do in this situation is ignore it and hope that it never happens again.

Yeah, of course, right?

And that's what you did.

So I did that for, and then a few weeks later.

Oh, you don't think you should freak your wife out?

That's what I did.

A few weeks later, I come back home.

There's a rat again.

Of course.

And it scampers away.

I'm like, okay, we got to figure out this problem.

And I tell Kulop and she's like, this is your deal.

Exterminator.

And

so.

I looked up solutions and I went to Home Depot or whatever.

And the first thing I tried to do is the humane situation, which is like this glue trap, you know, where you put baits like peanut butter or cheese in the middle of this glue thing, and then they get stuck in it.

And then their hands break off.

It's humane.

They're still alive, and in the morning, you let them out or whatever.

I think glue traps are best.

And you wag your finger at them, like, uh,

you think they're bad.

It must have been something where it just closed behind it or something.

No, this is like an out, it's it's like it's literally just like a plate with glue.

Okay, well, maybe it's I don't know.

So, so I put it out, and I put the

squeeze your elmers, yeah.

And

in the morning, go outside, the, the bait is gone, there's little tiny feet marks.

They got right through it.

They got right through it, yeah.

So we're like, okay.

Glue's too humane.

They're fucking survivors, man.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I go, all right.

You got to give it up to them.

You got to.

You got to like it.

Nature's greatest machine.

Yes.

So I said, all right, I'm just going to do the regular trap and put it out there.

And sure enough, at 2 a.m.,

I hear it just go off and Kulop's like, is that the?

And I went, yeah.

And I got out there and it's just sitting there in the kitchen.

And I arms folded like you got care to explain.

X's for eyes.

Dollar sides.

It's a lawsuit.

Yeah.

I'm going to sue you.

So then

squatter's rights.

I got rid of it, and Kulop gave me credit for all of that.

She's like, you, you got the rat.

But it's just so gross to think about a rat being there for like a month, like every night, coming out, going, Hey, what's in here?

Tonight, it's horrible.

I can't handle that.

But you also have to think, like, hey, dude, get the message.

There's no one here for you.

Yeah, like,

except there is every day.

Can't we make our homes?

They're getting everything they want.

Can't we make our homes like impenetrable?

I would love from ants, from bugs, from I know you open the doors occasionally in a moment.

From ants to zebras, right?

Yes, from hard parks to zebras.

I mean, we, I probably talked about my fly killer, of course.

We don't have time, we got to take a break, But we got a lot of fly.

Bye.

Bye.

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There's so much advice out there and all we want to do as parents is get it right.

The great news is you're the expert on your child and sometimes figuring out what they need is as simple as getting them to talk.

I'm Dr.

Susan Swick, a child and adolescent psychiatrist and I'm also a mother of four.

On my new podcast, Talk Aboutable, I'll hear from parents about what's keeping them up at night and we'll figure out how to tackle it by talking about it.

From Lemonada Media, Talk Aboutable is at September 9th.

Follow wherever you get your podcasts.

And we're back.

You know, the tennis racket that electrocutes flies.

Oh, yeah, we have one of those.

It's honestly pretty fun, but it's pretty shaky.

It's shocking.

Well, like, flies.

Well, if you play basic.

Flies don't matter.

You know, I don't feel bad.

The worst are...

Are what are they?

Oh, mosquitoes.

Mosquitoes are horrible.

Let's get rid of all mosquitoes.

And there are, by the way, so many fucking mosquitoes these days in LA.

There used to never be mosquitoes.

Yeah, really.

When I moved here, there were not mosquitoes.

And I remember thinking that.

No, they came over here in lumber that was shipped, yeah, from like China or something like that.

Like in the last 10 years.

No, yeah, lumber from China.

Like about eight years or so ago, there was some mosquitoey batch of lumber that got shipped here, and now we have mosquitoes here.

But my friend was saying, okay, well, you know what I've read about the solution to this is you need to get a bat house in your

yeah, so he's like where Midler used to sing at the bat house, those are cat houses.

Bath houses.

Cat house.

She used to sing in whorehouses.

The best ones.

My little one.

That was

who, I mean, that was, I mean, Richard Pryor, he used to perform there.

That's right.

So it's like this little tiny envelopey looking thing that you're supposed to put up in your, in the crevasse of your, of your house.

And he sent me like all of this

info about it.

No, bats like live in them and they sleep in them so it's outside so it's outside right and then he he sent me and then the places that sell them they say like

bats can eat up to like 1,000 bugs an hour or something right and so pigs you know what I don't want bats around me well that's the thing okay so then I look up another site and it says yeah you could eat like

five sandwiches an hour, but you don't you get full

all of this research is dumb they're not like sitting around there like a thousand bugs, two thousand bucks, three thousand bucks, four thousand bugs.

They get full after like an hour.

And so it's, it's like now you just have bats and bugs around your house.

I don't want that.

I remember going to the Brookfield Zoo in Chicago, which I think.

Shields has a zoo.

Yeah.

Well, we rarely, we rarely went to that zoo because Lincoln Park Zoo is free.

So we would go there all the time.

Lincoln Park Zoo is free.

But Brookfield Zoo costs money.

So we went there on school field trips every once in a while.

And we, they had, I remember they had this bat cave.

You walked through it it was dark and there were bats flying overhead if i remember specifically if i remember correctly but i remember this little factoid that might may or not be true give us a i don't want it to be a fact it's a factoid for sure make sure it's a factoid before you say it's it's a toy it's a toy

it's a toy a toy toy toy toy it's a toy um the factoid is that if you threw if you were walking under the bats in this like cave or whatever it was you um, if you threw your keys up in the air, they would catch them.

Wow.

And did anyone do it?

Well, I don't think they encouraged it, but I, I don't know what, I don't know if that's true.

What if you got like

Smith and you got a second set of keys just to test this out?

Yeah, what if?

I don't know.

Okay, well, it's time for a three-trip.

Maybe someone out there can tell me if it's true.

I'll never be able to figure it out.

There's got to be a video of it if it's true.

Send us the video of the the guy running to third, please.

And send us a video of a bat catching

a ring of keys while Funhouse's ring of keys plays underneath.

And the bats going, and your ring.

See, I like bats a lot because I think they've, they're so, they're, some of them are.

I think they're really cool.

I just don't want to see them in my general eye line.

I do.

Really?

That's the thing.

Do you go to Austin and see all the bats fly over the?

I've never seen it anytime I've been.

What's wrong with you?

And why do you avoid the thing you love?

I went to Carlsback Caverns

the day I saw Jaws 3D.

I went to Carl's Jr.

Caverns.

Wow, which

okay, guys?

It's time for a three tour.

Do you remember the three trip that we played called Celebrity Hunt?

Yeah, I like that one.

Do you remember how to play it?

It's like you think of you, you think of a someone says a celebrity, and we go hunt, and then you have to come up with a celebrity who has the same

name begins with the last letter of the previous name and it goes until we can't right the last letter that's what it is yes uh-huh

yeah it's called uh celebrity celebrity hunt like i said yeah and then and we

and we play it and we play it and and you like it you like it and you listen to it and you ask for more like did you just slay did you just look it up yeah okay and that is how we play that is how we play so somebody says celebrity uh the next person has to say we go hunt we go hunt of course we go hunt yeah we go hunt and then the next person has to say another celebrity whose name begins with the last letter of the previous celebrity.

Yeah.

Oh, okay, right.

And we don't.

Is it in a rhythm?

No, it's not.

Cause we just

like we don't clap or anything.

You want to keep it going, though.

You can't just

dick around and like.

You can't dick around.

You got to get to it as fast as you possibly can.

Yes.

Okay.

Great.

Yeah.

You keep a steady rhythm if you can.

Let's go clockwise.

You're fucking out.

Okay, let's do it.

Let's go clockwise.

All right.

Well, here we go.

Paul doesn't understand the start.

I always get famously.

Oh, that's right.

It goes Scott, Paul, Lauren.

Scott, Paul, Lauren.

Do this.

It's like

turning up the volume.

Scott's midnight.

You're six or whatever the fuck.

Yeah.

I'm on your six.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you're not.

How about seven, eight?

Yeah.

Yeah, seven, eight, some.

On WikiFeet, a 10.

Oh, never.

I have a Noah.

I have a Noah.

My WikiFeet rating has gone down so ever since you got that boot?

Since I got the boot on, yeah.

Buy a sell of the boot on.

It's probably off

by this time in my life.

When does it get off?

Tomorrow, oh, that's good.

When does it get off?

Honey, I haven't been asked that question in years.

Lucky, Samantha.

All right, here we go.

Ready?

I'll start.

Samantha, who?

Samantha!

Classic show.

Hunt.

We start with Hunt.

Doctor Who's first name is Samantha, is it?

One, two, three.

Hunt!

Antonio Benderes!

Hunt!

Susan Sarandon!

Hunt!

Natalie Portman!

Hunt!

Natalie

Earthman.

You're out.

Natalie Earthman.

Okay, we're in.

Hunt.

Wait, what?

Okay, so I start with.

Do the N, maybe.

I'll get a cheat.

Hunt.

Natalie Imbruglia.

Hunt,

Angelina Jolie.

Hunt.

Ed Norton.

Hunt.

Nick Nolte.

Hunt.

Hunt.

Edward Scissor.

Oh,

you're in still?

Yeah, why not?

Are you a celebrity?

No, it's real people.

It's real.

Okay, so now

it's just me going as long as I can.

Okay.

No?

Sure.

I think that's how the game should go.

We'll go to another round.

All right, here we go.

Ready?

I think it's a good one.

It's a winner to challenge people.

So you start with E.

Okay.

Ready?

This is someone to be out fast.

Hunt.

Ellen DeGeneres.

Hunt.

Smith, Will.

I didn't realize we could combat these things.

Think it would end that quickly.

See?

Okay,

and now I'm going to start.

You're going to start.

All right.

And then we go out of this.

I can't think of funny names.

We go clockwise, which means next Scott and then me.

Yeah.

Hunt.

Hugh Grant.

Hunt.

Tim Burton.

Hunt.

Natalie Portman.

Hunt.

Nicholas Cage.

Hunt.

Edward Alby.

Hunt.

Hunt.

Alan Alda.

Hunt.

No.

Albe.

Did I tell you I met him?

Yeah, he would, yeah.

Did he say it's tinnitus?

He worked with uh, he worked with our English class when I was

my dear boys.

Tinnitus.

All right, okay, and

so it's the E goes to you.

E, yeah, um, ready and hunt, Eric Stoltz, hunt, Zoolander.

Oh, Eric Stoltz is a good one.

Damn.

Damn.

Good one.

All right.

So you get the Z, right?

I would have said Z.

Okay, fine.

One, two, three.

Hunt.

Zendaya.

Hunt.

Oh, it's just me?

Yes.

Oh, then I wasn't writing.

Okay.

Okay.

Hunt.

Zendaya.

Hunt.

Hunt.

Alice Walker.

Hunt.

Rebecca Romaine Stamos.

Hunt.

Yeah, it's Romaine now.

Romaine.

Okay.

Hunt.

Nate Burkis.

Hunt.

Sean Connery.

Hunt.

Hunt.

Yolanda Hadid.

Hunt.

Is it Yolanda Hadid?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's from Real House.

Diane.

Dina Lohan.

The one.

Hunt.

This is

a real glimpse into the types of celebrities.

Nate Burkis, Dina Lohan.

Did it say Hunt?

Hunt.

Hunt.

Nathan Fielder.

Hunt.

Richard.

Wright.

Hunt.

Tito Jackson.

Hunt.

Tito Jackson.

Tito Tito.

I thought I said Tito.

T.O.

Jackson.

Oh, my Tito.

Tio.

Hunt.

Nia Long.

Hunt.

Greg.

Gregory Peck.

Hunt.

Come on.

All right, let's just start out.

All right, Paul Hugo.

Oh, my God.

Hans.

Hunt.

Jeffrey Wright.

Hunt.

Tia.

Tia Carrera.

Hans.

Ends with an E.

Oh, it.

Oh, okay.

Eric

person.

Someone I used to know.

Okay, but still not

a celebrity.

Hans.

He was a real guy.

You have to go have E.

Hunt.

Eric Stone Street.

Hunt.

Trisha Yearwood.

Hunt.

Donald Duck.

No, that doesn't count.

If Ember scissors her hands, Lauren has to go

using the D.

D.

And Hunt.

Donald Trump.

Hunt.

Penelope Cruz.

Hunt.

Zendaya.

Yeah, it's a new game.

It's a new game.

New game.

Hunt.

Alice Cooper.

Hunt.

Randy Newman.

Hunt.

I love LA.

How it ends.

Nathan.

Villian.

That's who I was picturing.

The rookie.

Because it was a rookie of the book.

No castle.

Castle Castle.

I was just at Comic-Con so much the rookie cosplay, I couldn't believe it.

Yeah.

Really?

Rookie cosplay?

Really?

How do you know?

They would be Bridges Coach.

They were just cops.

Lauren, what do you think about the recent Dave Coollier comments?

Is there something regarding Alanis Morrishead?

Oh, yeah, we got to check in with you.

What did he say?

He said that he remembers when he first heard that song on the radio, and he was like, hey, this is a good groove.

This is cool.

And then he was like, good singer, too.

What do you think, Popeye?

And it's like,

he like heard some of the lyrics and was like, wait a minute, is this about me?

And then looked it up and saw it was Alanis Morissette, went out, immediately bought the record, and then listened to the whole thing and realized that the lyrics were all about him.

And he said, I think I've really hurt this person.

Oh my God, that's actually so sad.

But he kept silent about it for all this time?

For now 30 years.

Did he ever say anything to her about that?

I think so.

I think he contacted her.

I think part of the story is he contacted her and she was like,

no problem.

I think she'd be like, I don't give a shit.

I just got $12 trillion for this music that everyone loves forever.

Did he go to number one?

I'm sure.

That's the best revenge.

Yeah.

A number one is all.

There's nothing like going to number one after you break up with someone.

Where did she go down on him in the middle of again?

Dinner?

Theater.

A theater.

Oh, dinner.

I saw that when I was.

She had her mouth full of mashed potatoes.

When I was working at Olivegard.

Talked about this.

I feel like I have a DJ boot.

When I was in Olive Garden, there was a couple who was.

I think I can't keep a story.

I think I literally said she had mashed potatoes.

That I don't remember.

Or hot dogs.

She was blowing them during dinner.

What dinner?

Let's go to a restaurant and order hot dogs.

No, it's movie theater hot dogs.

The hottest of dogs.

Can you smush that meat into one log?

Do you have Frankfurter's here?

So I'm working at Olive Garden and right now?

I'm sorry.

Someone started blowing the guy during dinner.

I would think you'd be interested in this.

Blowing a guy dinner?

Because you're a creep.

I love this.

So someone said, I'll have the never-ending salad and the never-ending breadstick.

Neverending.

And it's the never-ending breadstick under the table as I'm blowing.

And we were all like walking by going, and because one of the waiter who was in charge of that section, it was a room that didn't have a ton of people in it.

And it's not an olive garden, there aren't tablecloths.

Right.

Because you're families.

So the guy's like, this girl's blowing this guy under the table.

And we would all, we all kind of walk by and she was like kind of laughing and she was under the table.

It is funny.

It's pretty funny.

That's disgusting.

Wait,

there aren't tablecloths at Olive Garden?

I don't.

I think you could probably still see.

Maybe there were.

I guess maybe there were, but maybe they're short.

I don't think there are.

I don't think they're.

Yeah, they were.

You're going to tell me I feel like they were just tables.

They're doing this Italian

picturing my most recent Olive Garden excursion.

Two hours ago.

I'm like diarrhea in the bathroom

before eating.

Yeah, just to clear a room.

I have a $50 gift card to Olive Garden from Winning.

Yes, we know.

Aren't you going to take us?

It's not going to get you all enough food.

I'm just taking

the difference.

I'll just eat the never-ending thing.

Is it called?

Do they call it never-ending?

It's all you can eat.

Everlasting breadsticks.

Hospitaliano.

All right.

Goodbye.

Hey, Mumbo, Hospolitalia.

Okay, look, we got some business to take care of.

We do 3dom USA at gmail if you want to write to us.

3dom USA

on Twitter and Instagram.

If you don't want to write to us.

Our phone number,

HaHala Inpu.

Yeah.

If you want to call us.

If you want to just listen to us.

Hey, we like that too.

You're doing it the way you're doing it now.

Or if you want to listen ad-free, if you're not already, go to StitcherPremium or CBBWorld.com.

And also, you know, there's got to be some crock charms or something.

There's got to be some crock charms.

I just had one sent to me.

For some reason, they sent me literally one, and it's just the ignored one.

That's supposed to be the other day.

Who sent that to you?

Stitcher?

I have no idea.

They just sent you one ignored.

No request was made.

Nope.

I mean, I requested them back to you in December.

I was going to say, did you ever get the ignored?

Maybe it was on back order or something.

That's the only thing I can say.

Ask for more money for the show, and then that's what they sent in reply.

Yeah.

Ignore it.

All right, goodbye.

Goodbye.

Our healthcare system is broken in so many ways.

We have a healthcare system that's supposed to be taking care of people that is making it literally more difficult for people to put food on the table.

So this season, we'll dive into the challenges headfirst while also thinking about how we can find a better way because we all deserve better.

Uncared for Season 3 from Lemonada Media, available August 6th, wherever you get your podcasts.