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I was doing

a little reference to De La Sol.

Three Feet High and Rising.

The song specifically, The Magic Number.

Oh, yes.

Three is the Magic Number.

Did you ever watch

Multiplication Rock?

Yeah, Schoolhouse Rock, Multiplication Rock,

Government Rock, whatever that was.

Or

I still watched that.

I watched all of it, yeah.

I watched that, but I feel like I saw more like one song at a time.

Would they put it onto other shows?

Would it be on Sesame Street?

It would be like, no, not Sesame Street, but like...

They hated them.

Oh, big

feud.

Yeah.

Huge feud.

Yeah.

I saw this like Sesame Street Friends mashup, and I was like, wait,

the friends from the 90s, friends?

Yeah, they were all on the friends couch, and it said something else.

That's what I was saying.

The sons are there?

Who cares?

Sesame Street, get out of there.

Take on your own set.

Well, it was

heroes.

But I am very grateful that Netflix saved Sesame Street.

Do Pink Lady and Jeff.

Do you know what Pink Lady and Jeff is?

No.

I barely do.

Oh, okay.

This is in the waning days of the variety show Empire.

Okay.

Where there was a comedian named Jeff Altman, who you would never, by his material, think this guy should host a show.

Yeah.

He's a weird one.

He's not friendly or

very funny, but not

friendly or...

Does not convey like

humanity or warmth.

Yeah.

And there was

a singing duo named Pink Lady, who were these two Japanese women that I don't think spoke much English.

I don't think they did, but I worry that I'm saying that without ever having seen the show and just imagining it.

Me too.

Me too.

But I don't think they did.

Good stuff.

Somebody, I believe it was NBC, said, let's put these two together.

Oh.

And they'll host a variety show.

The duo and him?

Pink Lady and Jeff.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm now reading.

Please.

The show actually was called Pink Lady.

Whoa.

But Jeff wasn't even part of the show.

But referred to as Pink Lady and Jeff sometimes.

What?

I absolutely remember it being called Pink Lady and Jeff.

That's what everyone calls it for me.

I'm referred to by that sometimes by Paula F.

Tompkins.

Here is the

title of it.

It just says Pink Lady.

Okay.

And it's also known as Pink Lady starring me and

is it Kai?

How do you do the Japanese pronunciation?

My Mai and Kai with Jeff, Jeff Haltman.

That's one alternate title.

And then Piglet.

I'm looking at IMDb.

I cannot believe this.

Yeah.

How weird.

And so did they have on acts?

Like people would come on and a running gag of the series was the girl's lack of understanding of American culture and of English.

Sorry.

This is this, this, this is the synopsis from IMDb.

A musical variety show starring a popular Japanese musical duo and their comedian sidekick/slash translator.

Yeah, yeah, he speaks Japanese and he's translated.

And it says, in reality, Pink Lady spoke no English at all.

Okay.

Jeff attempted to translate and explain, leading to more confusion.

Whoa, crazy.

Yeah.

They're in a hot tub.

Okay.

Paul just showed us a picture.

They're in bikinis in a hot tub, and Jeff's eyes are bugging out.

And he is also in clothes.

But he's in the water.

And they're not.

They're kind of in the water a little bit.

That's the way to go in a hot tub.

Yeah.

Wearing a full outfit.

Tuxedo.

When was the last time you jumped into water wearing all your clothes?

You know, when cell phones came about, it became too dangerous to push people in the pool.

We used to push people in the pool all the time.

And it wasn't dangerous then.

It was just worrying about the cell phone, not their head getting slammed or something.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Slammed.

I mean, people would usually go in feeding.

Yeah, well, you push people.

You'd be in the pool and you'd push people so that their head would slam.

But aren't there those scary stories where it's like

we're like, we pushed our girlfriend in the pool and then she hit her head at the bottom of the pool.

And it's a scary story.

It incapacitates.

None of those stories are true.

Well, they're lies, but they're scary.

Oh, my God.

I've gotten, I was like on Reddit.

I was just

on, like,

I don't even know what I was looking at.

I was just looking at my feed, I guess.

And then I started reading a story in my feed.

Like, it was just like, it kind of got captured my attention.

That's logical to me.

There was like, you know, the preview of the story and it was like about this neighbor who was like a weird neighbor.

And I was like, what's going on?

A weird neighbor?

I got to read this.

Is this our slash weird neighbor?

Yeah, it should have been.

It was like a weird neighbor and he, and like, basically, my kids are sleeping in their room and they, and they hear this sound outside of their window.

They've been telling me, and they, they look out the window and there's this creepy guy smiling.

And we live on the second floor and it's like, we think it's my neighbor out his window.

And I was like, reading this, I'm getting like scared and more scared.

And the story's getting creepier and creepier and creepier.

And then I realized the Reddit sub-thread or whatever it was sub-reddit is called No Sleep, and it's just like a fake, scary story.

And I was like, it was like one a.m.

You know, I'm reading this, like, getting creeped out.

Like,

and then I was like, oh, yeah, why did I do that?

And I told Mike, and he was like, why did you read that?

That's what that is.

That's, I was like, well, I didn't see the title.

I feel like life is too long.

Yeah.

Like, we're always like, yeah, we're always having to fill it with this bullshit.

See, I wish there was no time to read a story.

Well, I think life expectancy should go back down to like the story.

We're going to bring up this fucking suicide pact again.

Because we're not doing that.

Come on, guys.

No.

I like living.

Yeah.

I like reading spooky stories.

I do too.

No, I don't like reading spooky sports.

Spooky spooky.

Speaky spoys.

Anyways, the horse did freak me out because it was a very creepy.

But then it started becoming like a Babadoo type thing where it was like, he must be 12 feet tall and he's da-da-da-da.

You know, it's like, I'm like, okay.

But when it was just a, honestly, when it was just a creepy neighbor looking out the window, I'm like, that's actually scarier than the fake idea of like a monster.

Like, yeah, that's creepy.

No, creepy shit.

This

person who lived on the second floor, was their name Luca?

Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

Because there was some scary stuff going on up there, according to Luca.

That's the thing.

Is Luca a reliable narrator?

I think I've seen you before.

Kids lie all the time.

Kids lie all the time.

Oh my God.

I remember when I took, I took ecstasy so late

so relatively not talk about this i was in my i was in my early 30s i think the first time i that's late ecstasy well according to a lot of people were like oh yeah i used to do that in high school all the time yeah that's late that's late you you um in theory have like a job but i yeah exactly i have paid taxes um

but i was so i i

told uh friends of mine who were very uh they're very straight edge and they did not like hearing this and

so we had this nerds we had this yeah i mean we had this couple they're a loser so we're cool we had this couple over for dinner you're cool for only having done it in your early 30s they're losers hey man i got it under the wire i mean before death um

they so we had them over for dinner and the the wife of the couple was saying

please don't ever do that again i heard a story about uh this uh girl went to the hospital and it was her first time and she had a heart attack or whatever.

And I was like,

oh, yeah.

So,

do you think teenagers can ever lie?

Like, of course, you're going to say it's your first fucking time.

Right.

You're not going to say it.

You're not going to say 50.

I do it all the time and then I don't know what happened.

Yeah.

I took way too much

because I thought I could take it because I've been doing it for

other drugs.

Yeah.

Yeah.

True.

Yeah.

Still.

True.

But that scared me to where I don't want to do it.

Well, I got scared.

I got scared right now.

It is.

It's always, I feel like I, I,

especially like with cops or something like that, where it's like, well, in the press conference, the cop said this.

And it's like, they can lie.

Well, honestly, press conference, that kind of thing confuses me when they're giving out details and things.

I'm like, you probably shouldn't say everything you know.

Like, right?

Aren't you supposed to like protect some of that so you can like then get the guy?

You would think, but then according to crime fiction, of course, they always leave, they always hold something back.

Yeah, only the killer would know this information, right?

Yes, right.

Isn't that in what's it the movie you like?

Vertigo?

No, it's it's called Xerox.

What is it?

Zodiac.

Xerox.

I love that movie.

Vertigo.

It's so scary.

Yeah.

It is.

It is the midpoint between.

Yeah.

I was going down the office

trying to

just aiming at it, trying to figure out which one it was.

What was the first one you said?

Vertigo.

Xerox.

Zodiac.

The midpoint between Vertigo and Xerox Xerox is Zodiac.

Yeah.

Is it a plot point in that, though?

Don't they keep something, leave something out of the newspapers or something?

Yes, I believe that is true.

Is Kinko still a thing?

Pico?

Kinko's.

Yeah.

Okay.

I think.

Might be FedEx Kinko's now everywhere.

Yeah, FedEx Office.

Oh,

have they just phased out the Kinko branding?

I think they did.

I think I didn't even notice, and I just thought

I was going to say, when was the last time you went to Kinko's?

And I'm like, was that local?

Was that even a thing?

Kinko?

It's FedEx office now.

I passed a FedEx office the other day, and it was one that I used to go into all the time because I needed to print scripts or I needed to print posters or mirrors.

And I was just like, God, I haven't been in there in 15 years now, and I don't think I'll ever go back.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I go in there from time to time.

You know, I have business to attend to.

Oh, you're a businesswoman.

I forgot.

I also don't have to print out a barcode.

I needed a meeting at five o'clock.

Or like a returning label.

Yeah.

You know, don't you have a printer at home?

I do have a printer at home.

And it doesn't work, of course.

No, it works, actually.

I just got a new one because it finally crapped out after like 10 years.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was done with the how can they sell printers when it none of them work?

I will say mine worked for so long, and then it became an issue with typing in the Wi-Fi on the little keypad, and it just stopped registering that it was correct.

And I was like, this sucks.

Have you ever been printer-shamed by someone who's like, you have a printer?

You know what?

I think that's insane.

I have to print it.

I actually think it's crazy to not have a printer.

I think you're living in a crazy world.

If you don't have a printer, it's because you don't have occasion to print things that often.

I guess you never have to.

So there you go.

It's not strange that somebody else.

You don't have a swimming pool.

Yeah.

Although that's different.

There is something I need to print.

I don't have room for a swimming pool.

There is something I need to print today.

And I was like going over in my head, is it worth it?

Is it really worth it to like try to figure out, will it work?

Like it only works.

Skewer, papa, dipped.

I was just saying, let me work it.

I'm going to

flip it and I'm going to print it.

Is it worth it?

Should I print it?

Is it worth it?

Is it worth the half of it?

I put the paper in, then I put reverse.

Sending it to the printer.

Oh, no.

Okay, nothing comes out.

Well, let me troubleshoot this.

Can I say something that I don't enjoy that much?

And I get why people do it.

Whoa.

When you send a digital Christmas card.

Yeah.

I feel like that.

If we're going to do anything that's

you know what I mean?

It's so much fun to get a Christmas card.

i love sending and receiving christmas cards

i do think a digital card you're really missing out on a lot of the joy

me also it's an email i'm not gonna i'm not gonna hang it up i like to see the pictures yeah i don't like i don't even like sending a card i like to go over to their house and just say merry christmas well that's really nice you go whistle i bring my entire family we're dressed as um i don't recall ever receiving such a visit i've never received that either but it's fine i came over to your house on was it on christmas to watch what when did we watch nicholas nickel was it on christmas itself of years ago, yeah.

No, not Christmas itself.

It was a pre-Christmas.

It was a pre-Christmas?

Yes.

I haven't done it in the last couple of years.

Got to get back into it.

I fell asleep during it.

Fortunately.

Exactly.

I keep watch.

I keep watch over all the sleepers.

Everyone takes turns having a nap.

That's nice.

Paul, I'll take next watch.

No, no, no.

This is my responsibility.

It's fun.

Have I ever told you about this, Lauren?

I don't think so.

I think so.

I don't know what's going on.

Well, I'm sure you have, according to everyone online who will tell me, yes, you know all about this, but I don't know about this.

I don't know what that movie is.

It is a play, a films version of a play.

Whoa.

And it's like an eight-hour play, right?

That you would have to go to two days in a row.

Yeah, I think you can either go two days in a row or

one full marathon day with like a dinner breaker.

Which we've done on occasion.

You did with.

Gats, The Inheritance.

We went to The Inheritance.

We've done two all-day pictures.

I loved The Inheritance.

Yeah.

And it did not last long.

Wasn't the the one short?

I don't remember.

Oh, I thought it was like three hours and three hours.

No, I mean, the

run of the show.

Oh, I don't know.

Yeah.

I thought it did.

I saw that Harry Potter in one day.

And the stolen child.

That's a lot.

That one I really go like.

This was years ago.

I do think you need to love that to go to two long plays of Harry Potter in a day when you know the story, right?

Oh, no, it's a news story.

It's a new story.

It's said in the show.

Harry Potter's All Grown Up.

What?

Yeah.

That's the one on Broadway.

He has a big, big, he shows off.

Wait, really?

Is that the one on Broadway?

That

he they've pared it down now to like a two and a half.

I always thought it was just his kind of basic Harry Potter story.

No, it's like their kids or whatever are going to Hogwarts.

Look, who cares about it?

I don't want to be promoting it.

Yeah, I don't want to talk about this fucking turf anymore.

Wow.

She sucks.

All the people in it, though,

the actors and stuff seem great from the original movies and everything.

They're all

fucking Graham Linehan, who's this other big turfy dude.

I don't even know if he's a turf.

He's just anti-trans.

Wasn't he the I.T.

crowd, which is

and Father Ted.

I love him.

And

he called the actors from the Harry Potter movies ungrateful because they

don't like her.

Yeah.

That's not how it works.

Not even that they don't like her.

They're just saying like

that.

And it's like she didn't.

Anyway, it's fucking ridiculous.

No, we don't have to explain that.

But Daniel Ratcliffe is like the fucking cool dude.

No, he seems great.

I saw him in How to Succeed in Business.

And he's very funny.

I saw him in Merrily We Roll a Wall.

No.

I saw him in Harry Potter.

What's the fucking one?

Don't you feel like he's done such a great job, like making his career?

It's like you don't really think, I mean, I don't associate him with that as like

Harry Potter.

I just see him in things like that.

He's doing it like for a kid actor.

He's doing it the exact fucking right way.

If you want to stay an actor, yeah, because he does like weird stuff.

Yeah, he's cool.

He also is so famous that he can make interesting choices.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I didn't get to meet him on Weird L's movie.

He did, he wrapped the entire picture like an hour before I got there.

Wow.

To get my scene, and he left.

He had left hobby and said goodbye to everyone on the crew and everything.

And I was like, I will tell you that

he was there the day that I was there.

On that movie or on Miracle, Miracle.

On that movie.

Miwako Wilkins.

Miwako Wilko.

Miriko Walkers.

And on that movie,

on the Weird Owl movie,

every time I saw him in the fucking Weird Al Get Up, it was funny.

Every single time.

Like you would look away and then look back and it's like, it's still funny.

Yeah.

It's such an interesting choice.

Yeah.

So great.

Yeah, yeah.

Wait.

So Nicholas Nickleby.

Oh, yeah.

In 1980.

The Royal Shakespeare Company, I think this was kind of like a move to revitalize the company because they weren't doing that well.

And so they said, we're going to do this big stunt.

We're going to do an adaptation of Charles Dickens' novel, Nicholas Nickleby, The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nickleby.

And it's going to be like the whole story and it's going to be an all-day thing.

Because any adaptation before had had to cut it down.

Yeah.

Like every Dickens thing, they have to cut it.

Like great expectations starring goop lady.

Glieth Paltrow.

It's all cut down, right?

But Nicholas Nickleby is like a big sprawling book, so we're going to do every part of of it.

Wow.

And it's, you know, so that Roger Reese and his

from Cheers.

Even, I think.

The postman.

Who?

Roger Reese.

From Cheers?

The Postman?

Do you mean Cliff Clavin?

Yeah.

Can you imagine?

I don't know what you meant.

The Royal Shakespeare Company got Cliff Claven.

John Ratzenberger.

That's his name.

What's that?

Who would you say?

Roger Reese is this English actor.

He was in Cheers for a bit as Robin Colcord.

Rebecca's suitor.

Rebecca's

Christie Alley's suitor and boss.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

And he referred to when he was approached to do a role on Cheers.

He said, I didn't know much about it other than it was very brown program.

Yeah, it is.

Honestly.

It's very brown program.

It's honestly most brown.

Yeah, it should be.

She's got MASH, I think.

MASH is like a taupe shape.

It's like a taupe shape.

But it's one color.

Yes, it's monochromatic shape.

So we're on sweaty in MASH, too.

He and another actor are the only.

Did you just hit your knee?

Oh, shit.

She adored.

It was like that crunch into this little pokey thing.

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

You're so sorry.

It's just a really bad feeling.

It is a really bad feeling.

When you get hurt, that's a bad feeling.

I don't like me.

Can I say, I don't like seeing anyone be hurt in movies or TV.

It makes me cringe.

Like, I don't even

mean stab necessarily as much as I don't like people falling down because I have fallen down.

You don't mind stabbing, but you don't like falling down.

In any context, it's just embarrassing.

Comedy, drama, it doesn't matter.

No, comedy is okay.

I just mean when someone falls, like someone's running and they fall down on the ground.

I go, ah, God.

I just have sympathy for me.

I hate it.

I remember being a kid and watching a Pink Panther movie where

his boss, who hates him,

slips on something at the top of a flight of stairs.

And he fucking flies up in the air.

Then he falls out of frame, like down the staircase.

And all I can think was how much.

But he would be.

He broke all your backs.

He broke his back.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was not funny.

No, the three Stooges are not funny for this reason.

They're stabbing each other.

Yeah.

They're taking hammers and inserting them into nostrils of people.

I've never really connected with the old three Stooges.

Me neither.

The new ones, obviously.

Who was that new one?

When was that?

Was it John Turto?

John Toturo was Kevin Handler.

Oh, that was Brain Donors.

That was Brain Donors.

What's that?

That's where they try to do a sort of Marx Brothers or modern Marx Brothers movie without ever saying it was a Mark Brothers.

John Turturo.

Bob Nelson

and Mel somebody, the English guy.

It was, well, Dennis Dugan directed.

Sure, he did.

Mel Smith.

Mel Smith.

Yeah, English guy.

Bob Nelson is, oh, the stand-up, right?

Okay.

Yeah, anyway.

But the Three Stooges are great.

Yeah.

We all agree.

The Three Stooges was a thing I did not really enjoy, but watched.

I know.

That's the thing.

I never found it ever funny, but I was always.

What is something very bleak about it?

Well, it's definitely bleak.

They're like morons who are hitting each other non-stop.

But I was always approaching it with like a critical eye.

A critical eye of like, ah, yes, they're doing this again.

Yes, exactly.

Yes, they're returning to this well.

Yeah.

I can see whereas Mo might be a little miffed at this prospect.

Well, Mo's not going to like this.

Do they talk, or where they're just like, we're not going to talk about it?

Like Animal Crossing.

They're a little like

God, I miss the 80s when you could make a song like the curly shuffle just like, hey, remember this thing?

The 80s, well, we've been, you know, we've talked about Adam's family.

Like, there are songs for things that we don't, we just don't do that now.

Although there is no one can agree on anything, is the Rihanna?

Wild Wild West?

Well, that's the last one, yeah.

I mean, that was for a movie.

It was Rihanna.

That's what I'm saying.

Right.

Oh, what do you mean?

Like, like, like a song about a movie, the Adams Family, like a thing where then it becomes a pop song that people enjoy.

Like, like, I thought, well, Wild Wild West was a song written for the movie, though.

But it wasn't.

Adams Shuffle, of course, was an homage.

That's an outline.

Well, and so was the Adams Family Shuffle.

Adams Family Groove, dear.

Well, no, the Adams Adams Family Groove was written for the movie.

It was sanctioned by the film.

But it wasn't in the future.

You thought FC Hammer was just like, I love the Adams Family.

No, but I'm saying it wasn't in the movie, was it?

Or was it just.

Yeah.

Okay.

Of course it was.

I thought it was promotional content.

No, no, no.

It was in the movie.

It was over the credits.

Now, Rihanna made a song for Smurfs.

Yes.

Is it about Smurfs or is it just a good song?

I feel like it's just a B-side that she released.

That's what it seemed like.

I didn't hear any like, and what are the Smurfs?

Like, I didn't hear anything more about it.

If you're writing a song for a movie, it should at least mention the characters.

I wouldn't mind hearing about the Smurfs within the song, but she's also the voice of Smurfett.

So maybe it's

Smurfette sings it.

Is this new, or is this that original Smurfs movie?

It's new.

It's coming out.

It's coming up or something.

It's a big poster at the movie theater.

Okay.

And I went to see Friendship.

Look, guys, we need to take a break before we get too into this.

Anyway, it was a play.

Bye.

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Cooler temps are rolling in.

Doo da dou da.

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We're back.

No, I didn't get to say it.

Blur black.

Do you want to do it again?

Three, two, one.

We're back.

Guys,

I have a story that Kool-Ap has not talked about on her show.

I can't wait.

Oh, great.

Let's tell other people's stories now.

No,

I have one Su Chin hasn't told.

Okay.

No, it happened to me, but I was like,

you know, we haven't taped an episode in person

in a little while.

I thought you were going to say you and Kulip have not talked in months.

No, no.

Wouldn't that be weird of you, though?

How can you prove that you have?

We say.

This is great, Lauren.

How can you prove that you've talked in months?

Shit.

Okay, I need to talk about it.

See what the last thing you talked about was, and I'll ask her what the last thing you talked about was.

What is the last thing we talked about?

You don't even know.

It was so long ago.

Oh, I know what it was.

It was something I was talking to you guys about this morning before we started, and I can't say it something juicy, no doubt.

Scott, very, this is a very sweet story.

Scott told us before we started recording that Emmy said, Uh, I want to see Paul and Lauren, yeah, because she's like, Where are you going, Daddy?

And I, and Colep said, Oh, he's taping a show with Paul and Lauren.

She said, I want to see Paul and Lauren, but then I realized it was just a stall tactic because she didn't want to go to school.

Yeah, it was anything just to she doesn't remember who we are.

No, she talks about you a lot.

What?

What?

Every time a a mustache is brought up

she brings she brings up

you and kevin sasho wow and she'll say paul has mustache like kevin oh oh more like kevin has mustache like paul

i hate that he has that mustache i know and he knows he shouldn't have it oh oh yeah he is

it's very transparent that he's doing it just despite us all yeah yeah and he needs to not know the fuck off exactly he's gonna keep it for his wedding it doesn't make any sense

Anyway, there is a story that happened.

I was like, you know, we, Paul, you've been on tour and we haven't been able to tape an episode for a while.

That's true.

We, we, uh, uh, we danced around it.

We banked a whole bunch of them, and I was like, oh man, Kuloff's going to say this on her show.

She's going to get the scoop.

She's going to get the scoop, but she never talked about it.

What is that?

How does that make you feel?

The fact that she never talked about this story is maybe too harrowing

for a light entertainment.

So, like, her podcast can't handle it, but ours can because we're willing to go there.

Yeah, it's true, we always go there.

And you know what?

Maybe we've lost a lot of friends, but who cares?

Well, we just know we did what was right.

Yeah, history will judge.

So, what happened, bud?

Our dog, Georgia, was attacked by a coyote.

Oh, no,

yeah, is she okay?

Obviously, I would have heard if she wasn't.

She's okay, I don't like that at all.

Oh my god, what happened?

So, is it at your house?

Yes.

No.

Oh, no.

I feel like she was asking for it.

What was she wearing at the time?

One of her little skirts.

She does have skirts.

She does have little skirts.

So every morning we

let our dogs out into our front yard.

Oh, so that's who?

What?

That we let out into our front yard?

Our dogs?

That's who let the dogs out.

Oh, I see.

We finally have an answer.

We let the dogs out.

Us, us, us, us.

Wow, you really did that.

Wow.

So we

have a little front yard.

Angela Bassett also did the thing.

Angela Bassett did the thing.

Now that'll be my hyper next year.

You're welcome.

I just got it out.

If I was her, I would lean into that and say it all the time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you remember when Angela Bassett did the thing?

I think, yeah, if she ever presents another award show, which she was like, who was the one?

She hosted the Ariana DeBose.

She should walk.

She hosted the next year, and I would have called it back, but she just, she

never mentioned it again.

Sad news today, Angela Bassett has stopped doing the thing.

Kiki Palmer does a great Angela Bassett impression.

She is so charming.

I was watching

a video of her.

She's on some podcast where she's, they gave her like little cute, you know, it was a game where she had to pick up names and do impressions so the guy would guess.

And she was so funny.

She's just so delighted.

I really thought that Kiki Palmer should have done a talk show where she doesn't know who the guest is, sort of like,

but and then she never knows who it is.

And she'll be sorry to to this guy.

Sorry to this man.

Oh, that's funny.

I worked with Kiki Palmer.

You did?

On True Jackson VP, man.

Whoa.

Yes, yes, yes.

Deep cut.

She was absolutely adorable.

Oh, my gosh.

She's just here in Greece.

She's great.

Grease Live.

Did I see Grease Live?

Oh, I did watch IBC.

Greece Live is the best of all of them.

When will I do another one?

You know what?

I really like a TV event like that.

I know, but NBC did them so

poorly.

I still like it.

I'm not going to change my mind.

I'll be there.

In any case, so we let the dogs out to do their business.

Yes.

And

on this day, Molly did her business, and then she, she knows a treat is coming.

So historical.

So she

so she waits by the door, which was fortunate.

Like she doesn't

fortunate even.

She doesn't waste any

time.

That's dorsionate.

What if you said that first?

How unfortunate.

It was very dorsonate.

To make sure you all know this is.

Which, of course, means it was fortunate that she was by the door.

Yes.

Meanwhile,

I hear a little rustling in

the foliage and trees that I'm assuming is like squirrels or something.

What time of day?

This is in the morning.

This is like 7 a.m.

I hear a little rustling and I'm like,

squirrels or whatever.

And then Georgia does her business, but she...

isn't coming back.

And I'm like, what's going on?

Because,

you know, usually she would come back, but she's, I say, maybe she still has stuff to do.

She's like sort of sneaking.

She's speaking about Pooh.

Yes.

She's Paul.

Seemed confused.

Sorry.

No, she doesn't.

I was scratching my head and doing a lot of things.

And there was

a question mark going all over her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She doesn't have a business.

She's not incorporated or anything.

That's my face.

Euphemisms are

filing papers.

So she's sniffing all the foliage and everything that is the barrier

on the fence.

And I'm like,

maybe she has more to do.

She disappears behind a plant.

Spooky.

Suddenly,

I hear her screaming,

and I think she's caught in something or something.

So

I start to run up to where she's at.

Suddenly, a coyote jumps out in front of me.

It was in the yard.

It had jumped into the yard to attack her.

Oh, my gosh.

And then it jumps out at me when I'm running up.

And I, oh, my.

and I, oh, my.

That's crazy.

This is a George Dekai remix of Yellow's.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my.

So it jumps out at me.

And I, to be, to be, to my credit, I was not a chicken.

And I, I stood up to it and I waved.

I shouted, hey, and I waved my hands at it and it bounded away, frightened.

Frightened, scared, a little pussy.

And then, and then Georgia ran

towards me.

And I said, Come on, Georgia, come on.

And she ran inside the house, ran upstairs, went into her crate, just very frightened.

Saw her life flash before her eyes.

We inspected her.

I wonder if I was Kulab and Emmy, by the way, are in, are seeing something going on out the window, and they hear me shout, hey.

And she's like, what's going on?

What's going on?

Anyway, we inspect her.

She has like saliva on her, but no, no bites or anything.

Oh, they actually got, made contact.

So then our neighbor.

The coyote kissed her?

Yeah.

It was kind of French.

Yeah.

Like a pepe-lipue.

Yeah.

It was kind of great.

You actually ruined it by getting in the way.

Cot blocking.

Yeah.

So then our neighbor sends us video.

There are three of them

surrounding our house.

Stalking.

Put out like deer piss or something.

Isn't that what it is?

I have plenty of piss in my yard.

Don't worry, guys.

Coyotes are scared of deer.

No, we over the years, we put out all that kind of stuff.

We have these like red lights that are supposed to be

and all this kind of stuff.

In any case, so there were three surrounding the house.

And we're like, what the fuck is going on?

The next day.

So at this point, by the way, we become too complacent.

Our dogs are on a leash now when they're outside, no matter what.

You know, you can think to yourself of like, oh, no, I haven't seen coyotes here in years.

Just even yesterday, I was like, man, this is such a bummer having to bend over and put on the leashes and

carry them around.

And then I see something rushing the minute I come outside, I see some sort of critter rushing.

I think they're fully emboldened.

They're out during the day all the time now.

And this world will be theirs.

But

they really don't care about being nocturnal.

Yeah.

So the next day, we're like, why are they in our yard or whatever?

The next day, we're just sitting there, Kulap and I, eating breakfast,

and a coyote walks right by the window carrying something in its mouth.

And we're like, is this a dead thing?

It's its

pup, its baby in its mouth.

Oh, we

think maybe they were storing the baby in our yard or something like that and was protecting it or something.

I don't know exactly.

They saw those baby swim classes and they were like, this is a place where babies are babies are.

Yes.

And they know Emmy's here and they're like, hey, they're about the same age.

Maybe they'll be friends.

Wow.

That's wild.

So, anyway, we were very fortunate.

Yeah, I'm glad George is okay.

Yeah.

I know.

That's really scary.

That could have been really terrifying.

Is she like okay now?

She doesn't even remember it.

She's so stupid.

You asked her about it and she's like, what?

What are you talking about?

I don't even know what you're talking about.

What's a coyote?

You actually sound crazy right now.

Anyway, so wild.

It was wild.

And

scoop.

Seconds close call with Georgia.

I mean, we talked about how she got lost

that one day for three hours.

Oh, Georgia.

She's challenging.

No, yeah.

No, no,

it's, again, our fault as zoners.

But it is scary.

The coyotes, they can come out of nowhere.

And they just have that look in their eye.

Well, it was a few years back that they seemed like they were here all the time.

And I was like, oh, they must have all died off and they're not around anymore.

I remember seeing them often when I would walk

by UCB, they would be coyotes over there.

And it was like, you would, I would be going to my car because I would park up.

There's like these, it's so hard to find parking at the time.

And it was like, you park up the winding hill.

And then I would just walk to my car.

And I remember when I moved here, I like walked right by a coyote and I didn't really react.

Like, I almost had, didn't understand that it wasn't normal.

You know what I mean?

I was like, oh, well.

And the person I was with was like,

stop like going towards it.

Like, I was just like, I kind of thought like, oh, whatever.

Like, I don't know.

Well, if you, if you run away from it, though, that's even worse because then they will attack.

You have to basically like like look really big.

It's like bear rules.

Just look really big and scare it away because they're they're naturally afraid of humans, but because people feed them and and they've just like come down

out of the mountain.

Yeah.

I the first time I ever saw a coyote in Los Angeles

was when I was dating

Janie.

That's when you were seeing her.

And Janie's brother was a coyote.

I was dating Janie and she lived on Beachwood at the time.

And so I'm leaving her house, walking down the street.

What time?

Is this like you doing the walk of shame?

Like this is at nighttime.

You're a friend gentleman saying, I'm not going to stay over.

No, not until we're over.

Just

leave.

Not until we are married.

We'll only fucking leave until I'm married.

She's like, this feels worse.

So I'm walking past this house that has sort of like an ivy patch on the front lawn or whatever, some kind kind of hedge or something.

Ivy patch.

And this, this thing

shot out of the foliage,

ran past me, and it was a little coyote puppy.

Um, and then the next time I saw one, as every time, has been in broad daylight, just in the middle of the street.

I know.

Sometimes I'll be driving, and I'll see them just like trotting down a suburban street.

And I'm like, this is insanity.

Yeah, it's weird.

It gives me like a weird chill when I see them.

Yeah, it's weird.

They're weird.

Yeah.

They shouldn't exist.

You're not supposed to see.

That's extreme.

There was some, we watched some special that said the koi wolf is going to take over, which is a

cross between a coyote and a wolf.

Oh, a koi wolf.

That they're breeding like there's more and more of them.

So, wait, wolves are fucking coyotes, or vice versa?

Great question.

Well, like a liger

is a lion tiger.

But that's very rare.

Well, it's only a Napoleon dynamite.

It's rare because the zoos don't let them do it.

That's right.

Why can't zoos just for one day?

Just for one day.

Put them all in one big...

We can put them all in one big thing.

Just for one day.

We can zoo fucks.

Just for one day.

I would breed zoos.

I'd fuck an elephant.

Could an elephant breed with some other animal?

I don't think so.

Or do they have to be pretty close?

I mean,

I think that's a tall order.

Elephants' penises are actually extremely tiny.

They're like a peanut, which is why they like peanuts.

Yeah.

Extremely tiny.

Yeah.

So if an elephant wants to poke another elephant, it's a really big deal for them to get together.

It's got to go in the trunk.

It will.

Yeah.

That's how they do it.

Yeah.

That's where we get the expression junk in the trunk.

What about a hippopotamus?

Yeah, what about a hippopotamus?

Could an elephant mate with a hippopotamus?

I went to a zoo in Palm Springs.

The living desert.

And they had had a rhino.

And I realized, you don't see rhinos at the zoo?

That was especially exciting.

Forget about rhinos.

And they have a lot of fish.

Nowadays, everybody wants to forget about rhinos.

They have giraffes you can feed.

I got to feed a giraffe.

It was almost too exciting.

I almost, because giraffes are my favorite animal.

It was starving.

Well,

I was too excited.

I was like, you know, I wanted to dropped all the pelvis.

I wanted my picture taken almost to the point where I could barely even pay attention to what I was doing.

You know, it was like, like, when you fed the koala.

I didn't cry, but I was really happy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I would like to go back there.

You've heard about that hotel in Africa where the

stick their head right in the window.

That's my dream.

Yeah.

That would be amazing to sit at my window.

You would just close the window.

Well, I think it's.

You're allowed to.

Are you allowed to?

It's the best choice.

Yeah.

You know what, Scott?

No one ever said that.

I don't know that for sure.

Actually, you just can't.

I'm just assuming.

And then I think you just don't sit at that table

where the giraffes sticks their head.

I'd be worried that I'd be sitting there next to the window and a giraffe would lean in and give me a big sloppy kiss, and I would like it.

And then you'd be like, now I'm in a bunch of stuff.

You like it too much?

Yeah.

Now I have to leave Kool-Ap for this.

I got licked by a giraffe.

I liked it.

I just saw this clip from, like,

I don't know, fucking nightly news type thing.

And it was about.

What is like the nightly news?

Entertainment tonight?

Dateline.

Not date line, but like the, you know, like a show, whatever.

Nightly news.

Okay, fine.

But it was, it was about AI relationships.

Oh, no.

And people fake it.

We've already moved on to like fake news stories about fake things happening.

It was really, it was AI.

No, it was a man like you having a relationship with a.

I'm just saying he's putting it on for the cameras.

No, no, no.

It was a crazy.

It was honestly.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

It was real.

You think it was fake?

I'm just saying that like AI is big.

And so a news.

A news organization is like, what?

AI news story?

What if someone were in love with an AI?

Well, there's apparently a Reddit

community called AI Boyfriend or something.

But it was like,

this guy has a girlfriend that he's like basically made through like AI, chat GPT or whatever, and like made it flirtatious and they have this relationship.

And then it got deleted because it got too much.

It didn't have enough storage or something.

Oh,

is that New York Times article?

Maybe, maybe.

It was a video, though.

He cried once.

He cried once.

He said he sobbed like because, and he realized it was love.

And I was like, this is crazy.

And then the reveal in this interview is they show that he has a wife and child.

And I was like, oh,

he seemed extremely alone.

This is a different story because the story that's going around now that just came out in the New York Times is a guy that fell in love with his AI

girlfriend.

And the thing got deleted.

And

he was so upset that he decided to commit suicide by cop.

By cop?

Yes.

How do you work that out?

You try to

grab one of their weapons.

Surprisingly easy.

Yeah.

They're on high alert to do it at any point.

His mother called the cops and said, Look,

please, you know, my son is disturbed.

And, you know, he wants you to do it.

Don't take the bait.

Don't take the bait.

So he's outside with like a fucking meat cleaver.

Oh, God.

And the cop shot him and he's dead.

Wow.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

And did his girlfriend make a trilogy?

Or was the.

Then the mother said,

I, because

he was great she used ai to write his obituary

can you just write something through your fucking brain and she's getting worried i i i think this was sort of i think this was like to i i don't i i i mean it's insane to me that she did that yeah but she said it was chilling to me how well it expressed my feelings oh

So I don't, I hope she didn't use that eulogy.

I'm sure she did.

Or obituary.

I was sounding like it was good.

I mean, she admitted it was good, but it was scary oh my god she admitted yeah she admitted it was good and then that yeah there was a woman who was like in shadow who was like in in a relationship and i fell in love with ai boss but she had a lot of very clear uh distinct features that you were like it was just like if you knew her you'd be like that's her like you know what i mean like if you it's like you just know it's her by the way they didn't distort her voice you can't get me this is not what i look like i do think it's always funny when people do that on those things there's a mirage they're wearing a wig and And then it's like, that must have been really silly to make this interview because

they're just like sitting there with some like rock star wig on and it's like a crazy shape.

That's why they turn on the lights because it's too funny.

But I just am like, I think the AI thing is so scary, obviously.

And I, uh, I'm worried about children because I, I, wouldn't you, if you were a kid, have an AI boyfriend or girlfriend?

It's like, it would be like me, probably.

Yeah.

I was saying like, I'd be, I was online all the time, you know, talking to my friends at school and whatever, and then talking to strangers and talking to smarter child which was a bot that would talk to you so you're a child i would have thought it would be the opposite like you're like i want to talk to real people not these fake people but when it starts to know you and and i think that's the part that's concerning is that it starts to go like it knows what you like and it talks to you and it flirts with you and it's like it's like you can say whatever you want to it and it's not a risk you're not going to embarrass yourself i wonder though if i was a kid if i would ever get past the fact that i knew that it was all they made i think that's what happens very easily is the concern is that they it gets very muddied.

And it's like, you don't actually, you know, that logically, but you do have feelings.

And so it's very confusing.

And the adults are saying the same thing.

The people, there's like a woman who was like kind of warning about the future in this video.

And she was like saying like, that's one of the biggest concerns.

They want to put age restrictions on it because

you, it's really hard if your brain is not fully formed.

But even that's not apparently.

They also say they're very easy to bypass.

I'm like, well, thanks for telling the kids that it's easy to do.

Yeah, everything is easy to bypass for kids, right?

Except hearts.

Except

surgery.

How about real life, go flirt with somebody and fall on your face.

Yeah.

And then do it again.

Tom, go flirt with me.

All right, we have to take a break.

I'm Hussin Minhaj, and I have been lying to you.

I only pretended to be a comedian so I could trick important people into coming on my podcast Hussin Minhaj doesn't know to ask them the tough questions that real journalists are way too afraid to ask.

People like Senator Elizabeth Warren.

Is America too dumb for democracy?

Outrageous.

Parenting expert Dr.

Becky.

How do you skip consequences without raising a psychopath?

It's a good question.

Listen to Hussa Minhaj Doesn't Know from Lemonata Media, wherever you get your podcasts.

Now we're back.

We're back.

It doesn't just start during the minute I press the button.

It needs to warm up a little bit.

What?

That's the millennial pause that we've heard so much about.

That's right.

We are back.

And we should, we should.

It's a pain in the ass to edit that out, by the way.

I'm sorry.

I don't even understand.

Like, I mean, yes, I'm a millennial, so whatever.

I can own that.

Yeah.

I don't understand how I'm not pausing.

I don't understand how I'm just pressing recording.

That's the thing.

What are you doing?

I don't understand.

So then

are they editing it after that?

The video has to start where the person has to back it up for a couple seconds to hear what you just said.

Right.

That's how a good video starts.

Right.

I don't know what you're talking about.

The millennial pause is a thing that happens where people, so if I were making a video right now, I would like press record and wait like a beat and then I go, hey guys, da-da-da-da.

And so apparently Gen Z thinks we're cucks for doing that.

Okay.

Gen Z thinks we're beta cucks soy boys if we take a breath before we start speaking.

And then there's those videos where it's like, My Gen Z assistant made this video for me, and then it's all the breaths that you would have taken for the millennial pause.

And it's just like,

Jesus Christ.

That's like a good thing.

I mean, it's pretty funny, but I'm just saying.

That's my ASMR.

They want to own us.

Guys, we have a big announcement.

They want to pwn us.

We have a big announcement.

We're no longer doing premiums.

For those of you who know what those were, every other week we would listen to your voicemails, which we would receive on our famous website.

It's a very famous

website, hagclaims8.com.

Which, by the way,

the reason we're not doing

three memes anymore is because hagclaims8.com is now, it's very exciting.

It's something new.

It's a new business venture that we have.

We have started a cell phone data company at HagClaims8.

It's HagClaims8.

8.

So everyone has the same phone number.

The phone number is HagClaims8.com.

And so you call the number HagClaims8 and say who you're trying to call.

And then an operator will connect you to that person.

And it's one of us.

It's switchboard style.

This is an innovation.

Just like John Wick switchboards.

It's so technological.

And it's like, you know what?

Let's go back to what really works.

Talking to a person and saying what you want.

You call up.

A central voice who tells you who directs you and connects you.

Yeah.

And if your name is something common, this could take hours to kind of find the person that you're trying to call.

If your name is common, if you are common, if you're common, we'll gas you right away.

Yeah.

If your last name is Johnson or something, it might take a while for us to find that.

You know, we'll laugh.

You say Johnson, too.

If your name is Johnsonville, you'll be connected to some brats.

Yeah.

And if your name is Charlie XTX, you'll be connected to Bratz.

Yep.

And by the way,

we are incorporating eight into this cell phone data cert.

You get eight megabytes of data.

Yeah.

Yes.

Every year.

And that's

regardless.

so you get unlimited megabytes that equal eight.

Yes.

Yes.

You're gonna have you're gonna have so many megabytes

as long as they equal eight and limited talk and text.

Um how limited are we?

Did we ever decide how limited are we?

You get one text a month

to receive, but it's only eight dollars a month.

No, you can receive one text.

You can send one text to two different people.

But some people, I know what you mean.

You, you, you, I know what you're thinking.

You may say, like, oh, could I just receive two and never send one?

No.

Yeah.

And one thing that I send one that I've noticed is that my phone bill is so high.

Yeah.

And I noticed that too.

Because I'm, mine's $15 a month.

Yeah.

And so I'm, we thought we should make it eight.

Wow.

Mine's $30 a month.

Oh, okay.

I'm on this new plan.

Yeah, I found home.

I'm on another one.

Great new plan that's only $30 a month.

But then I found Hack Claims 8 and it's only $8 a month.

Only $8.

And each, here's the thing.

I found Hack Claims 8.

Your conversation.

Phone conversations are limited to 30 minutes.

Now,

here's the thing.

That's on one hand, you might say, well, that's not a lot of time.

30 minutes?

30 minutes?

How long are you talking to?

Honestly, and what are you talking about?

Secondly, most of what you're going to say is on Wi-Fi.

So if you're on Wi-Fi, it's free.

Exactly.

When you're on your Had Claims 8 plan, you get 30 minutes of phone calls per month, per call.

We should mention that we give free data if you're driving and you're checking your phone while you're driving, but you have to prove that that's who you're calling driving.

You have to have, you download an app where your phone will sense motion.

And it says, are you driving?

Driving.com.

Yeah.

And you only have to press five different buttons when it says, are you driving?

And that's your pin.

And everyone's pin is had claims eight.

While you're driving, unlimited data.

Oh, and by the way, the numbers, so if you get a hack claims eight phone, someone can't be driving, by the way, and you're the best.

Oh, no, the phone will know.

If you get a hack claims eight data plan, you get the hag claims eight phone.

All the buttons say hag claims eight on each button.

So when you're calling, you just press had claims eight, and it'll direct you to the to the call center

where we will then connect.

It looks like there's a little design on the buttons, but it is in tiny little script: hagclaims8.com.

Exactly.

Yeah, this is a huge deal for our listeners, and we love our listeners so much that we wanted to make this deal for you.

And we knew we had to stop doing premiums in order to do it.

We realized that most people can't pay $1,000 a month like us.

Yeah.

So you need something cheaper.

And $8?

I think that's cheaper.

I think I can afford $8.

I guess what I forgot to say was that I thought my bill was $15 a month.

But when I went to look, it was $1,000 a month because it was a lot of overages.

Exactly.

So

I decided that I wanted to have a

plan would be no overages.

As long as you're driving,

as long as you're on Wi-Fi, and as long as you're, and this is one we haven't mentioned yet, walking backwards.

If you're walking backwards, you get unlimited data.

But you have to be walking backwards at a certain speed.

Well, yeah, and it's going to measure that.

Also, by the way, if a family member is trying to get your attention and wants you to pay attention to them, that also you get free data during that.

Because it's wasted time.

Yeah, if your kid is saying, like, daddy, daddy, can you look at this thing I'm doing?

Yeah.

You have to be able to prove that, but we'll give you unlimited data.

If your spouse is trying to discuss something with you that absolutely requires both of you to make a decision,

unlimited data and texting.

Well, the kid thing, sometimes the phone can hear when the kid is saying that and it'll log that automatically, but sometimes it doesn't.

You'll have to take that up with corporate.

Yeah.

So those are things you can log.

We're great people.

If you have your spouse film while it's happening, you can send that over.

That's the best way to do it.

Make sure they're on the Hack Claims 8 plan, too.

By the way, there are no family plans.

No, but charge double if a family member ends up signing up.

But it's still cheaper than your $1,000 a month plan.

But it will, if you get the plan, it will make your partner's plan not work that good.

Yeah.

Well, in the house.

If you're in the house together, it'll throttle all those folks.

But it's to stop cheating.

That means

we're trying to protect you.

You want your relationships to throttle.

You have a better signal.

It throttles the signal of anyone around.

So they can't text their booth.

That's right.

Yeah.

Great.

Their side piece.

Anyway, we think this is going to be great.

So everyone should sign up now.

If we get 100 people to sign up today, we each get like a few million dollars extra.

I think so.

Something like that.

Yeah, so I'm not really sure about those details.

But yeah, so sooner you could sign up.

Anyway, we just knew that our listeners.

We're so close to the poverty line that you needed this.

So

you need this from us.

Yeah.

You need it.

You need it.

Get that now.

Get that now.

Hag claims eight.

And get back to us.

Hag claims eight.

Go claim your eight, hag.

But

I will also say, since we're not doing, we're not answering your VMs

on the three memes.

On the three memes, on the TMs.

VMs on the TMs.

Why didn't we call it that?

It doesn't really work.

Oh, that's right.

We decided that we were going to start doing them on the show proper here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Proper.

That's going to be good.

Proper.

As MC Hammer exclaimed when he drank a Pepsi.

That's right.

Proper.

He said it was proper.

Yeah.

He took a sip and he said, proper.

It was good.

It was, it was good.

It was a good Pepsi.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good batch.

It was a good fresh one.

Honestly, sometimes there is such a thing as a bad batch of cola.

It's true.

And of gremlins.

But you know, if you're all kind of are a bad batch.

If you want a really authentic Pepsi, you have to be living in the Pepsi region.

And then you go through the Pepsi factory, you take the tour, then they give you a little Pepsi at the end.

A little Pepsi.

Right from the store.

You You should be able to drink from a Pepsi waterfall.

If you.

No, I think so.

I think so, Zoo.

I think if you go there.

I think everyone should be able to drink.

Whether you go there or not.

I think even if you don't go there, they should bring a waterfall.

Oh, there.

Spring Awakening.

All right.

Here's a

VM from the TMs.

Hi, Pretzel Gang.

So excited to be calling the famous website, hagclaimza.com.

My name's Teddy.

My question for you all is

if you have any grudges that you haven't been able to fully let go of.

Like not necessarily that you think of constantly and are, you know, plotting revenge day to day, but that if you're reminded of a person or a situation in the past,

that you're still just...

mad about the situation the same way you were when it happened.

Bye.

Bye, Teddy.

Teddy, great question.

Bye, Teddy.

Great question.

Thanks for visiting HagClaims8.com.

She was one of our first visitors.

She was one of our first visitors, but she needs to get the phone plan because the website is.

We've been tracking her movements.

Yes.

And she doesn't have the phone plan.

Yeah, we can see that.

We are tracking your movements.

It stops tracking when you get the phone plan.

See?

So there's an easy solution to this.

We're tracking you, and then when we see you got it, we say, okay.

We say, okay, hey, our bad.

We're not interested in being Big Brother.

Okay, we don't want to track people, we just want people to get this.

Good fucking.

I have one grudge

that I can think of.

I think I have one.

I'm down to one grudge.

I have one.

It was like a little wet girl.

What?

You had a Jew on?

Well, everything has just been said.

I'm caught up.

I caught up.

Okay.

The grudge.

The Jew on.

I loved.

I'm not sure.

I

I was driving here today,

blasting music, as I like to do.

Sure.

And I shouted to myself, well, I should have done that in 2008.

So that was.

Because you were thinking of

something you just did or something.

No, just something that I get mad about sometimes.

And I just think, well, that would have been the way that would have gone.

Is it one of these things where you like should have said like a

It was an action I should have taken that I didn't take, that I should have taken.

And I was screaming to myself, and I just thought, that's pretty funny.

But I was like, you know, I wish, I do wish, but then you know, I always think, as I always say, that you know, I believe that everything happens for a reason and that life wouldn't happen as it did if you didn't know what happened.

The reason is life is terrible, but I would,

but then I think, but maybe some more fun stuff could have happened if I did that.

You know what I mean?

Like, it doesn't always mean that it would have been bad.

And that's just, you drive yourself crazy.

Yeah.

And I mean, I, I feel like I've been

thinking,

I feel like I've gotten past that, like revisiting old things and saying, oh, I see now how I should have handled that or I see blah, blah, blah.

And it's like, honestly, things are fine.

Yeah.

I can't complain.

You know,

there are things that I wish had happened that didn't happen.

But then again, I think not necessarily that things happen for a reason, but that.

Or it happened.

The way it works is good.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Yeah.

But yeah.

So I have one grudge.

I hate that I have it.

And will it ever be settled?

Is the person still with us?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is it me?

That is not you.

Okay.

Do you think if the person passed away that the grudge would go away, or do you think you would be like still kind of annoyed by?

Oh, that's horrible to think about.

Oh, then I won't think of you passed away.

No, the grudge would live on.

I've left a sealed envelope

explaining exactly how you do it.

Wherever I am, I still hold it against you.

And it's like it wasn't somebody that I was super close to.

Yeah.

But

it was somebody that I used to spend a lot of time with.

Yeah.

And

yeah, I feel it's not, it is, I know that it's something that I could let go and probably something

that I'm largely

keeping alive myself.

Yeah.

Well, that's pretty much what it is.

Yeah, it's totally, it's totally one-sided.

Yeah.

It's a totally one-sided.

Well, you don't know if they have a problem.

No, I don't think they do.

Oh.

I think it is just, I did not like the way that I was treated.

Oh,

yeah, then they probably don't care.

And I started to review the friendship or the relationship.

The situation.

What is that?

Is it from Oliver?

It sounds familiar, but I can't play Syria.

But so what?

You were reviewing it and then what?

And then it's like one of those things where you remember other things.

You're like, it's from Oliver?

Yeah.

What about this?

Oh, is it Fagan?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that's why I sing it so deeply.

Because my old roommate played Fagin.

Oh.

No, he played Bill Sykes.

Bill Sykes.

Strong men tremble when they hear it.

Oh, I love hearing that.

Nobody mentions

my name.

Nice.

I don't know that musical really.

I haven't seen it in forever.

I will say it.

But it bothers me that I have it.

It bothers me that I can't let it go.

Yeah.

Because I've let go a lot of shit.

things that have been far worse yeah and for some reason i you know here's why it is because there's a there's an element of embarrassment to it oh on my part oh yes i have that where i feel like i was made a fool of yeah and there's something like i fell for it you know what i mean yeah that i thought that this arrangement was something different than it was

and that i

cared more than the other no no not sexual It's not sexual.

I cared more than this other person.

Have you ever had sex with this person?

Not that I know of.

You were drugged one night?

I get drugged a lot.

Do you have a grudge?

I have, I think, I feel like we've talked about this on a previous premium.

I have maybe one show business grudge with someone that

we've worked with

that

I would never work with the person

again.

And

yet

I think at the time when it was all happening, it was like very infuriating for a lot of us.

But

yeah, but I don't think about it anymore.

But then also,

there's like people from high school or whatever, like one guy I should have had a grudge with that I just kind of was like, eh.

But I was thinking about it the other day, going like, he really fucked me over.

Yeah.

And

yet I've still remained friends with them.

Mainly just because I see them a lot, I think.

Not a lot anymore, but it's just like, it's just so much easier to be like, eh, who gives a shit?

But I, I, there, there was something that happened to me recently where I was like,

I still have a grudge, but it's never going to get resolved.

So I may as well just let it go because the other person doesn't care enough to resolve it.

It was the other person's fault.

They don't care enough to resolve it.

I don't want to continue being mad at the person.

So I'll just forget about it.

I've also had a situation where there was somebody that was a friend and we kind of like as

we were people that that were sort of acquaintances back in Philly and then we reconnected in LA

and then

so we spent a lot of time together.

We didn't know a lot of other people and then like as our friendship wore on I was like Do I like this person or not?

Because I feel like there's a lot of, I feel like, I feel getting myself getting annoyed a lot and sort of there was something about this person.

And then it all came to a head when,

honestly, not came to a head, but this was kind of the final straw for me.

Was when my mother died, I,

you know, she, before she died, like a few years before she died, she became an atheist.

Like she was devout Catholic all her life and then stopped being Catholic.

And she thought, when you die, that's it, you know?

And so this guy who was Catholic and like made a big show of it, you know what I mean?

Told me, he sent, he said, Boy, that story about your mom bummed me out.

I was like, Don't be, she's fine, you know.

She made her decision, and she was fine with it.

He was like, Nah, it just really bothers me, and it makes me feel sad.

And I'm like, You don't need to feel sad about it.

And then after she died, he sent, I got it, I got a card in the mail that said, I'm still sad.

A mass, a mass has been said in the name of

my mother

on behalf of, you know, whoever.

And

there was something about that that was so, it felt like a real violation.

Yeah.

And it felt like a real,

like holier, literally holier than thou judgmental thing of like, I'm supposed to admire this, that he did this.

He knows I'm not religious either.

So it's like, this not only goes against my mother's wishes, but you are, you're like rubbing my face in in this, like a thing that I don't care about, and told you, you know, that I don't like it.

And I was like, this is a person who,

that's not what a friend would do.

Yeah.

Can I ask you what I mean?

Is this the new Pope?

I'd rather not say.

From Chicago.

It is a friend of mine from Chicago.

He sucks, man.

He went to Villanova, so that's how I knew him in Philly.

Because I think, like, you got to let him off the hook.

He's out there saying masses for everybody.

Look, that's your thing.

Go ahead.

You can say masses for everyone.

You can live in Rome.

But I wouldn't even say I have a grudge against that person.

I would say that

it's like, oh, I feel like

I think that's a difference.

Yeah.

Cause I grudge,

it's like I want them to see their demise or something.

You know what I mean?

Like, doesn't that kind of imply like you want some comeuppance?

It's hard to see.

Like, I don't know if I need to.

You know what?

i do feel like there is an element of when i

there is there not so much that i want to see their demise but i want them to see my success in a certain area yeah okay where it's like see i didn't need yeah yeah yeah yeah i get that you you were trying to hold me back and now look yeah it's hard to separate grudge from just being annoyed or not professionally not wanting to work with someone again because they yeah

yeah well there's certain people that's also just kind of like learning your lesson exactly there's certain people are you you say okay okay, this is somebody that I can be friends with, but I can't work with.

This is somebody that I can enjoy their company, but I can't really trust them.

Like I couldn't say things to them that were personal because they're not, they can't be relied on in that way.

So it is, it is, as I've gotten older, realizing the sort of.

the categories that people end up in, that you put them in, where it's like, this is not a bad person.

And this is somebody that I do enjoy, but it's somebody that I can't necessarily trust in certain ways right um but the the the the grudge thing for me is

whenever i see this person on social media or i think of them and i occasionally do see them in person and we're very friendly to each other you know like we're not like we both know that we're not pals like yeah yeah yeah like we don't communicate outside of seeing each other in person occasionally yeah and like a run-in yeah yeah and honestly i feel like there's nobody on this earth that i can't be in a room with you know

But I'm not, there are certain people I'm not looking forward to being in a room with.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What about any grudges, Lauren?

I'm thinking about it.

I mean, like, there's people who've wrung me that I hate.

So, so yeah, that sounds like it.

There's at least one person where I'm like, and I mean, they wouldn't know this.

Like, they suck.

Um, to me.

Um, but it's to me the luggage company.

Yeah.

I hate that.

They put me in a luggage and shipped me off.

um

but um and it's not who you're thinking because it's like a story no one knows okay um i'm just saying that so that people don't start trying to guess what i'm talking about but um but i have other people where i'm like you know

uh

maybe i feel there's like unfinished business or like things left unsaid or something where if you were a ghost you might haunt them yeah i don't think i'd want to waste my time but i i do have a little bit of like i hope when i'm a ghost i don't waste my time i gotta get to hell i hope i pick a good place.

There's people where I feel like we were friends, then we aren't friends.

And I feel like there's like that in between period where I'm like, I don't know if it was ever like, it wasn't like a problem, but then it was, I feel like maybe there's something that could be said that would make it like, just so you know, at the time, this is what I was dealing with, or whatever, blah, blah, blah.

It's not a grudge.

It's just kind of like I think about that and go, I feel kind of bad or think maybe they should feel bad or whatever.

I don't really have a grudge

really where I'm like,

well, no, I do.

I do.

I have a couple.

They're coming back to me now.

I guess does a grudge imply like you would be happy if something

I don't want something bad to happen to a person like where I wouldn't want them to be injured or harmed in any way, but I wouldn't mind if they suffered financially.

Sure.

Great.

All right.

Well, I think that answers all of your questions.

Yes.

That's

freedom.

Google Grudge round up.

This is a perfect example of what Hag Claims8 does so well.

Yes.

Exactly.

It gets you this information as fast as possible through our data plan.

There's no other plan that's giving you this.

Yeah.

There's no other plan where you can make your one call a month to us and ask us a question.

Yeah.

You have 30 minutes to ask it.

30 minutes.

That's so much time.

It's too much.

So much that's our gift to you.

That's what people told us.

That's too much time.

That's too much time.

We said no.

No, we want to give people a good 30 minutes.

$8 a month.

You get $30.

For $8

a month.

And that's our gift because it's really generous.

Yeah.

In any case, sign up.

Go to HagClaims8.com right right now.

Ask us these questions.

And that's going to be it for this episode.

Anything that we have to promote?

Oh, buddy.

I don't know.

Yeah, ma'am.

I still have the astonishing Spider-Man out there on the Marvel app.

He can't still be astonishing.

Every week, he's astonishing.

I mean, if you were reading it, you would be gobsmacked.

No.

I don't know what's going on with him right now.

New York City's not used to him by now.

Yeah.

Well, he's still, everything he does, it's unlike anyone else.

I think, I think.

but you know, New York is full of people like that.

The adventures that I'm writing for him are astonishing in terms of just by Spider-Man metrics.

It's like, oh, no, we're used to Spider-Man doing this.

It depends on what he's doing.

Jesus.

Wow.

He's really doing it.

Take it back.

Yeah.

Threesomes.

Yeah.

That's all it is.

July 13th.

How close or far away is that?

Well, I mean, it's still in three weeks or so.

Two weeks.

Four weeks.

Like in terms of this episode.

Yeah.

Okay, good.

Sunday, July 13th, 7 p.m.

Lodge Room.

I'm doing Variatopia.

There are still tickets left to be there in person.

And of course, we will be live streaming it.

Go to variatopia.com for all the information and tickets.

All right.

I don't really have it.

Oh, you know what?

I have a show with Mary coming up in August at Dennis.

You're an old man.

Mary Homes.

Is it called Buns Out of the Oven?

It's not called that, but it's

Suns of Oven.

It's not called that.

Suns Out of the Oven, Suns Out of the Oven.

It's very, it's going to be very fun.

It's on August 31st at 7.30.

You can get tickets now.

It's so far away.

It is far away.

But, you know, we love to sell it out.

So come see us or buy tickets online.

What's it called?

It's called.

We changed the name.

It is called An Evening with

Mary and Laurens.

Snooze.

Lauren and Mary.

Does that make it?

The nightly snooze.

What about that?

No, you got my attention.

All right, that's going to be it.

We hope that you've enjoyed everything this week.

Yeah.

Yeah, me too.

I hope you've enjoyed everything this week.

Yep.

I hope everything.

If there's something you haven't enjoyed this week, let us know about it.

Go to headclaimdate.com, get in the comments.

Yep.

All right.

Goodbye.

Our healthcare system is broken in so many ways.

We have a healthcare system that's supposed to be taking care of people that is making it literally more difficult for people to put food on the table.

So this season, we'll dive into the challenges headfirst headfirst, while also thinking about how we can find a better way, because we all deserve better.

Uncared for season three from Lemonada Media.

Available August 6th, wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, it's Lena Waith.

Legacy Talk is my love letter to black storytellers, artists who've changed the game and paved the way for so many of us.

This season, I'm sitting down with icons like Belicia Rashad, Loretta Devine, Ava Duvernay, and more.

We're talking about their journeys, their creative process, and the legacies they're building every single day.

Come be a part of the conversation.

Season 2 drops July 29th.

Listen to Legacy Talk wherever you get your podcast, or watch us on YouTube.