I Gotta Freak a MILF

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I'll see you in your dreams.

Hey, it's me, Steve Burns, and I'm so glad you're here because you and I go way back, right?

Yeah, and look at us now.

Like, we're all grown up.

We've got this new podcast where we talk about all this grown-up stuff, and there's special guests like Jamie Lee Curtis and Bill Nye.

But for the most part, it's about you.

I mean, it's always been about you

from Lemonada Media.

A live with Steve Burns is coming September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts, or you can watch every episode on YouTube.

I'm like a monster.

I'm like a monster.

Trito!

You're like a monster.

Trito!

Are you like a monster?

I'm like a monster.

You are like a monster.

I'm a monster.

Wow.

Wow.

You're scary.

Do you think I would be a cute little boy like right now?

Oh, I don't think so.

If you looked exactly like what you look like.

If I look exactly like what I look like now.

I don't think so.

I think I might be weird.

If I said, like, I like you so much.

Yeah, no, I don't want want to.

I don't want to like you.

No, I don't think so.

You got to be.

I don't think I would say you're a little boy.

No, I'm not.

Obviously, I'm not a little boy.

I was saying, if I were a little boy.

And you were wearing exactly what you're wearing right now.

Yeah.

Which is suspenders and shorts.

And you're looking at a big lollipop.

A little straw hat with a propeller.

I have a straw hat with a big propeller.

You have silly boxer shorts on instead of pants.

What?

Is that a cliche for?

What little boys did you grow up with?

Well,

no one heard me say you had no pants on, so then I had to say you had boxer shorts on just to make sure that it was clear.

Apologies.

To make sure you were being silly.

Yeah, I'm just being silly.

Hey, did you hear you?

You actually didn't hear me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Welcome to Threedom.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

You were talking to me, right?

Yeah, of course.

And you never welcomed me.

Welcome to Freedom.

Thank you.

I didn't know if it was one of those things we're supposed to go round robins.

Yeah.

Don't say clockwise.

Sorry.

Triggering.

One more person to welcome.

Welcome Welcome to Threedom and welcome to Freedom.

Oh, sorry.

Welcome to Freedoming myself.

I want to welcome everyone to Freedom, even the hitters and losers.

I'd love to welcome them.

I gotta ask.

I gotta ask.

Okay, so we are, I know this is a couple months later or so, maybe a month and a half later, previously on Freedom.

Last night,

guess who

shuffled off this mortal coil?

But Paul, you were bunny,

the Pope died last night.

And Paul, you were posting about it at 2 a.m.

Do you get like an alert when that happens?

As a former Catholic

city, I have a lot of Catholic church alerts.

Anytime there's big Catholic church news, I get an alert.

Now, you like to post when someone dies.

I love it.

Just dancing on their graves.

Guess who's still around?

Me, asshole.

Do you want to pay homage to people you admire?

What's the it's when I do post.

And the thing is, I will post on Instagram and I will post just a picture of the person with no

well it's part of meta true.

Well, it's under the umbrella subsidiary of Meta.

The Met Brella.

So I guess, yeah, everything we should call by the biggest conglomeration of Meta.

Yes, whoever owns it, though.

Yeah, so it does.

The Milky Way Galaxy.

And it's

somebody who had a pop culture impact on me in some way, right?

Like somebody that.

I'm not a Pope culture.

Well, no, I didn't, I don't, I'm not posting a picture of the fucking Pope.

No, did you, did you?

Well, then, why did you know at 2 a.m.

that he knew?

On Blue Sky, I was posting.

Oh, yeah.

I was making those little jokes.

1:58 a.m.

I was like, damn, Paul has a show in the morning.

Why were you up?

What?

No, I got it this morning.

Oh, I saw it this morning.

Yes.

I forgot about the time.

Time stamp.

And I was like,

Paul has a show in the morning.

Did he get an alarm?

Did you get enough warnings?

I got an alarm that the Pope died.

And you woke up with a shot.

I did.

I did.

I woke up, Janie.

And I said, get up.

Light some candles.

We're going to pace around the room until we solve this.

Do you care who the new pope is, dear?

There has to be one now.

There has to be.

What if he stopped?

This is a good stopping point.

No more left.

Until we solve this, did you think that perhaps there is a mystery with how the pope is?

I don't know.

Yeah, that's the thing.

This 88-year-old man who had been sick?

Do you suspect

it?

He's very suspicious that he goes and meets with J.D.

Vance, and then hours later, he's what was so funny is that first I read before he died, I read that J.D.

Vance wanted to meet with the Pope.

The Pope was like, I'm going to send this other guy.

I don't want to meet that guy.

His Pope impersonator?

In Pope?

Just like his vice pope or whatever.

And the idea was that the vice pope was going to say, hey, guess what?

You fucking suck, dude.

You have to be compassionate.

You know, you're so mean about

migrants and everything.

Mean.

Yeah, you're too mean.

And then the Pope was like,

I'll just do it.

I'll do it.

Whatever.

And

I guess this is part of my papal duty.

And then the Pope was like, before I go, I'm going to tell this guy he's wrong.

So listen, stop being a dick about immigration and

people that do it.

Do you think it worked?

Well, no, because

he converted.

Yeah, I can already tell it didn't work.

We didn't have enough time.

Let's see what happened.

Here was his response.

Okay.

J.D.

Vance, who converted Catholicism in 2015.

The Pope actually said something to him.

The Pope did say something to him.

I thought you were fully doing a bit.

I did not know that.

No, no, no.

The Pope has been, you know, from afar has been saying,

hey, this is not in accordance with Christ's teaching.

Good Pope.

And J.D.

Vance is like, well,

let me go talk to him in person.

Yeah, then he meets the guy in person.

He's like,

I'm an hominid.

I love that.

So the Pope says, yeah, you have to be, you know, Christ says this.

And And then J.D.

Vance is like, well, you know, I'm still a new Catholic, so I don't know all of the

what?

That's

what he said.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He tried to play it off like, huh.

Well, I haven't explored every corner.

I didn't know that Christian.

I haven't heard that one.

I'm still on page 25.

Literally, as someone who knows basically nothing about it, as proven in previous episodes, that's one of the main things I'm aware of.

Honestly,

the guy was very...

he boiled his message down very simply.

Yeah, he was, and he's like, if you don't know, now you know.

Now you know.

That's it.

Now you know.

Now you know.

Anyway, goodbye.

Love pulp.

Love pulp.

I'm glad he got to say that

before he croaks.

I would love to die.

Just say croak.

Like a sound.

Croak.

I would love to say something meaningful and then go, croak.

You should do that.

Like, if you're on your deathbed, just say that and then just don't talk again.

So it's the last thing.

Even if it takes you days to die,

the last word was was croaked

do you think that's not going to happen i don't care a lot of people die in a car or no no

that's not good or in a banked or no that's not good bank robbery yeah bank robbery i think you should wish for yourself a 99-year-old death in bed i wouldn't mind dying in a nice chair or a comfortable lazy boy kind of thing where people don't know i'm dead at first and they're like oh yeah they're just walking around you and going arguing i i feel like that seems more peaceful of a death than the bed i know someone who passed that way right

And I think his name was Jesus Christ.

But I do think it's Jarvis

for the other people.

No, but better than fighting on the floor.

But I think we'd love to talk about this.

We do love to talk about this because it comes for us all.

I don't want to traumatize anyone.

So that's why I'm thinking like a nice hospital room and a bed where people can like everyone's ready for it.

Yeah, everyone's ready for it and people can go like, excuse me.

Yeah.

I don't want to see this.

I'm just going to go get some Cheetos right now.

What's that?

What if that was the last thing you said?

I'm going to go get someone.

Delicious hospital coffee.

Do vending machines take tap yet?

Or are they still expecting us to have a crinkly dollar bill to put in there?

Okay, when we were in

the UK.

We were

in the UK.

In the UK.

Oh, yes.

There was a, I wanted, I just wanted to get a fucking Coca-Cola.

That's all

Paul wants when he's in the UK.

Caffeine.

Do you like how it tastes there?

It tastes the same.

It's different.

It tastes the same.

It's all different.

It's all.

I'm sorry.

I bisspoke.

It's all different.

Yeah.

And it had the machine had, you know, the tap.

You could either tap or insert.

It's like all those interfaces now.

Swipe, insert.

Tried every single way.

Did not work.

At the zoo, they have those machines where you get a smushed penny, you know?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I've seen that.

And they.

I have a very famous bit about that.

Do you?

What?

So my first comedy album.

Hold on.

I'm going to want to hear all about that.

But

how long is the bit?

Can you just do it?

Or can you tell us about it?

It's too long to just do.

Like, how long?

It's a couple minutes, probably.

Because we probably have 50 minutes to go on this episode.

It's too long for me to want to do it.

But, question.

I was just listening to that.

Why?

Which is probably why I just said question.

Question.

It was on my energy playlist.

Question?

Did it give you the energy you required?

Yeah.

About my own diamonds and that my mind.

You're heating your home with this playlist?

Yes.

Wow.

Solar power.

Good friend's child.

My question is: question.

Can you repeat an old bit if I just tell you the name of it?

Can you just do the whole bit right now?

Or do you have to look it up and see why it was?

I would probably have to.

I don't know if I have any of those

locked and loaded anymore.

Yeah.

But you could listen to it once and remember it.

I bet.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But speaking of that, I once did a spot on Australian television.

G'day.

And

because the spot, it was a stand-up spot and it was very short.

And I was like, okay, this was in 2011.

I was doing the Melbourne Comedy Festival.

And so I had Melbourne.

Yeah.

Melbourne.

He's some guy who has a comedy festival.

Melbourne.

Come to like comedy festival.

Everything's going to be fun.

And you know what?

I'll host it in Melbourne.

So because

I was doing

longer material at that time, I was like, I don't have any like joke jokes.

I have to go back to old material.

We have to go back.

And so I said, I'll do this bit.

It'll be easy and fun.

And then I did not listen to the bit again beforehand.

No,

did you forget it in the middle?

I forgot a chunk of it.

Oh, no.

It wasn't like in the middle of it.

I have no idea.

No.

And then you were like, no, it won't make sense.

My mind skipped over a very important part.

That would make all of your material.

That would have made it really funny.

And it wasn't because I skipped over it.

Do you ever write down

like little memory things, like words, to kind of get you if you're gonna?

Do you ever write that down?

Do you feel like that's cheating?

Like on a television, like a notebook.

Oh, not on the television.

All right, I mean, that's that's only Janine Garafilo has ever done that.

She's the only one.

I think everyone does it.

Notes on TV, no.

I think everyone has a little something on that stool.

They might have things hidden, but I think like a lot, most most comedians pride themselves on nothing.

I know that you'll see a little glance.

I'm not calling you a liar.

Glance over to the camera.

Are you saying like during someone's special or something?

Yeah, like they might go, they might walk over here and just their eyes go down and then they go, and da-da-da-da-da-da.

Well, that's lame.

That's what they were doing on the other side.

By that time, you should know what you're fucking talking about.

Maybe that, maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe I just think that's what they're looking at.

That's what they were doing on the office TV show.

They would glance over at their notes, but then there was a camera over there.

Caught them every time.

And it caught them every time.

And so they just incorporated it.

That show is entirely on teleprompter.

Isn't that weird to find out?

What are they making the documentary about with all these shows?

That's what I want to know.

What is the modern family documentary about?

Yeah, 10 years.

Did they get good material?

The modern family documentary is just about just a family.

Here's what I used to think.

I thought the same thing as you.

When do we see the documentary?

I would love that for the finale episode.

That's what the TV show is.

The TV show makes it a film.

We are seeing

it.

The TV show is

the documentary.

That makes so much more sense now.

They're They're not filming a documentary.

The only thing is.

We're not seeing raw footage.

We're seeing what the documentary is.

But for the office, they incorporate the documentarians into the final season.

So

we're watching.

I feel like that's a conflict of interest.

It's unethical for them to include themselves.

You think it's a Koi?

Yeah.

A Koi.

How many

seasons of the Office were there?

I'm going to guess 10.

And you think at the end they were like, let's just see these guys.

We've been teasing this whole time.

Yeah, then suddenly.

You're going to say 11.

Okay, fine.

I want to guess.

Nine.

How many seasons of the office and American workplace?

You always call it that.

I mean, that is nine, nine, nine.

You did it.

Oh, my God, I got it right.

You did it.

I spilled water all over my face.

Because I was trying to think.

I watched like, I think the first, I watched it until they started doing those hour-long episodes.

Oh, yeah, when they were like, you know what?

Everyone loves all the stuff we cut out online.

Let's just put them back on the show.

And then I was like, this is too much.

Office.

And then I stopped watching it.

So I missed the later seasons after

fucking Steve Curl's like, I don't want to do this anymore.

And they're like, we're going to still be able to do it.

Who is that guy?

James Spader.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Spader was there.

Well, it was Ed Helms for a while.

Ed Helms.

Yeah.

Then Spader came in.

Will Farrell.

They all came in.

Catherine.

Everybody except us.

Stop by.

Yeah.

I didn't get to go.

Pull up, drop by.

I didn't get to go there.

Pull up drop by.

Pull up your body.

Pull up your

band parks.

I, of course, famously tested for the lead of the office.

Whoa, I'm sure we've talked about this, but tell me about that.

And then did not remember seeing Steve Curl at any of the auditions.

Yeah, well, that's how it goes.

Did you do, when you say you tested, was it like, did you get all the way to the end?

Yeah.

Do you know what he was doing?

I was told I was down to the final three.

Final three.

Final three.

Between you, Bob,

crazy.

Bob Odenkirk and Ben Falcone, Mrs.

What's her name?

Megan McCarthy.

Melissa McCarthy.

Yeah.

Megan.

Megan Mark Markle.

Wait, that's crazy.

You were down to the final three.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Quote unquote.

Yeah.

And then Steve Currell, who was never mentioned.

His name never came around.

Well, maybe if he was an offer, but then they were auditioning and you guys were the best auditioners.

Yeah, sure.

But for the auditions to go that far

when they're like making an offer to them.

But I've had that many times where I've literally auditioned for things and then.

Oh, sure.

It's.

Yeah.

No, that happens all the time.

Yeah, but then the

fine.

Like you've gone in multiple times.

This was extreme.

Yeah, because usually testing, it's like the people you see in the room are the people that are, even if it was a celebrity.

I mean, you would have to be there.

For American Idol, I was top, I was in the final 10.

I remember that.

And they had you on as a joke.

What?

Oh, no.

No, I mean to be the host.

Oh, my God.

I forgot this.

I forgot this too.

And, and I.

I know he was one of the bad singers.

I saw

Ryan T.

Face.

Beautiful France Mages, guys.

Okay, so you were down to the top 10.

Yeah, and I saw that.

How did you wait back up?

Because how did

American Lulu Luliup?

How did this come into your inbox?

Like, what was the situation?

Well, they were looking for a duo.

And your manager was like...

There's this opportunity, or you like saw this or heard about it?

I had never heard of it.

Okay.

They asked, I was at the time where your team briefed you.

I was working in a duo act

and so they wanted a duo because the original hosts in the uk anton deck were a comedy duo anton deck saturday night takeaway duo that you were that people were aware of

and so they were looking for an established duo

so funny considering what happened it is weird yeah came in and honestly slayed the first audition right did great

uh got the callback it was down to the final 10.

i looked around saw ryan secrets i'm like oh oh, they're just going with that guy.

Like, because he had already

handsome, he already, he was like

in L.A., known very well.

Yeah, looking like a history.

But I was like, but I guess he's not in a duo.

And then the second audition did not go as well.

But he didn't get it though first, right?

Was there another guy who had it first?

They paired him up with another comedian, Brian.

Dunkelman.

And then realized it just, they didn't, he was so good at it.

They didn't

have a second person.

It would be funny if it made them reconsider Anton Deck over there.

Two guys?

What are we doing?

That's so interesting.

And question for both of you.

Were you sad

about this?

This was a very particularly

difficult period in my life where

my car was repossessed twice.

I almost had my home.

I almost lost my home that I had.

a PTSD from the war.

Your condo.

My condo, yes.

And then it would have been nice to get this Kush.

I needed money so bad.

And I was like, so I decided to do research about it.

And all I could find, I didn't, the internet didn't really have anything about it.

So you went with microfiche.

He went to the library.

He was in the library.

American Idol started.

That's a really nice library with those green banker's lamps.

You're the only person in there.

All I found was an article in Q magazine, which is a British music magazine, and I would get Q every month.

And so I found there was a big James Bond guy who started his own magazine.

Yeah.

You think I'm like, he loves music.

He's like, here's a music that fits into a pen.

And there was a big article on it, but the article

was written with...

Like, you already know what American Idol or what Pop Idol is.

So we're just going to talk about these very specific details of it.

So I was like, I can't quite figure out what this show is.

But I did enough research where I was like, I think if I do, because I was doing more play-by-play,

my partner and I split it up where I was like doing play by play and he was doing like color, if that makes sense.

And it really worked for this, for the first audition, and then the color kind of wasn't all that great for the second.

But so, like, so they, for the audition, they would have the idea, oh, someone just saying, what did you say?

Or something?

Or do you have someone saying and then you have to react to it?

So it was kind of like

first an introduction, like you're introducing a fake person,

and then, yeah, someone's going to come off stage and you're going to interview them.

Whoa.

And so I was doing like the

sort of like, okay, how did you feel?

You know, doing the sort of like main, you know, interview stuff.

And then,

you know, my partner was doing the sort of more funny, like making quips about whatever.

How didn't you feel?

Right.

Yeah.

That's a good one.

Yeah.

So yeah, just were you sad when it premiered and then you were like, oh my God, everyone.

I fucking loves this shit.

It's pretty crazy because I was like,

I think we would have been received as poorly as Brian Dunkelman was.

Yeah, so maybe that wouldn't have been good.

It wouldn't have been good.

But even if I had just gotten it on my own, I think

it, it, even if I had done a good job,

it would have skewed my career in a way that I don't really who even knows.

I mean, that would be a whole different thing.

I would have loved it if it had been like a summer job and no one

paid attention to it.

Yeah, you know what I mean?

I just got some TV experience under my belt.

Yeah, that's how I felt about Iron Man.

And

not the movie Iron Man.

When you didn't get the office to do cry,

I don't think I cried.

I was very disappointed.

But you know, like because I was a big fan.

Because you're so high when you're finally testing.

Yeah.

It's like the pressure.

It's crazy.

I was a big fan of the original show.

This is pre-Ricky Gervais being what he is now.

And I really felt like I did a

bigger fan now.

No, I love him.

Oh, I love the way he talks to people.

Go ahead.

So you interview about the show.

It is interesting that both of those are British shows.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, but it was the audition was really fun because

the test was really fun because

they did it like the show where they

had hidden the cameras.

And so they were watching from a control room.

Oh.

And so you were just like acting

on the show.

Yeah.

Were you acting with the casting director or were you acting?

No, no, no, with other people who were testing.

I was opposite that test.

I remember I was opposite.

Ever Carradine was auditioning for Pam.

And

we had a great time.

That's a really cool audition.

Yeah, yeah.

It was great.

That's fun.

That's not usual.

Yeah, yeah.

And then I was not called in by that casting office for literally 20 years.

You know, this is something that Mike and I always talk about, that we're always confused by.

Like when you test for something, our experience has often been that when we've tested and not gotten it, that we were never invited to be on the show.

And you go, No, how was I almost the lead?

Yet I can't play one character for one episode.

I don't understand.

I think about that all the time.

It makes you feel like, did I fuck it up that

way that you never want to see me?

Or do they think of me as damaged goods?

Yeah, it's like there's something so strange with that where you're like, oh no, maybe they fought for you, but the network said no, and they're like, we're never going to get this guy through.

But it happens so much that it's like, no, it feels like it's part of it.

It's like, once you've gotten that far, it's like you're deleted off the list for the show.

And it's like, I don't understand because you thought I was good enough to basically do the whole thing, to carry the whole thing, yeah, and then now I can't just

go, yeah, all right, we have to take a break, we'll be right back, okay, bye-bye.

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I'm Hussin Minhaj, and I have been lying to you.

I only pretended to be a comedian so I could trick important people into coming on my podcast Hussin Minhaj doesn't know to ask them the tough questions that real journalists are way too afraid to ask.

People like Senator Elizabeth Warren.

Is America too dumb for democracy?

Outrageous.

Parenting expert Dr.

Becky.

How do you skip consequences without raising a psychopath?

It's a good question.

Listen to Hussin Minhaj Doesn't Know from Lemonada Media, wherever you get your podcasts.

And we're back.

I always wanted to offer, like, offering.

If this doesn't work out, I'll do absolutely anything.

Yeah.

Do we have other parts that need filling?

Yeah.

Give me the sides.

I'll try right now.

Would you have been a janitor on the office?

Sure.

Who just and who's the only thing he does is he walks in and goes like, oh, a lot of shit in the bathroom today.

Yeah.

I would have done that.

It's hilarious.

Like he says it six times a year.

Yeah.

He just comes in and says a lot of shit in the bathroom today six times over the season.

Yeah, six times a season.

Yeah.

That's too many.

I think it should be once a season, but that's still a good job.

Do I get to look at the camera?

And you get residuals.

No, in fact, you look for the cameras and they're always like avoiding.

Actually,

I'm trying to

get a camera.

They're always running away from you.

That would actually be really funny.

What?

In the toilet today.

They should do more.

They should do more of showing the other camera's angles when the person mugs to the camera on those shows.

And then it's just them going.

It's the back of their head.

Oh, I have to say that I don't have to say this.

I want to say that.

No, you must say it.

I have to say everything I'm saying today.

Again,

we're time-dating this episode, but for us, yesterday was

three great things happened.

It was 4:20.

It was Easter, and the Pope died.

Wow.

You're leaving on Hitler's birthday.

Okay.

Also, Hitler's also

the last day of Password.

Yeah, so much went down yesterday.

A 420 for the 18th.

It's obviously too much.

So

we had an Easter egg hunt in the morning.

Easter egg cunt?

Lauren?

He said it.

Of course he did, but I was ready to let it go.

Hunt came over.

So we had an Easter egg hunt and

Easter egg hunt.

Easter hunt.

We should play that today.

And egg hunt.

Egg hunt.

And Brulia, get ready.

You're going to be hurt.

And I was filming Emmy looking for the Easter eggs during part of it.

And I was...

How many cameras?

Just one.

And it happened to be on my phone.

Single cam.

It was a single cam.

But

I thought it was very funny.

I filmed it like Survivor, where in frame you could see the Easter egg and she wasn't seeing it.

And so I zoomed in really close on it

and then panned over to her saying, I don't know where it is.

Do they do that, Survivor?

All the time.

They show the prize.

They show the immunity idol that they're searching for.

Oh, that's cheerleading.

That's so funny.

It was very fun.

On Survivor, did they put music behind it like

did she love Easter?

Yes, we decided, we had a big conversation.

Did she love Easter regarding what?

Because this was the first one she would be really cognizant of.

Like, what are we going to include?

You know, and

Kulop was sort of like.

Do you talk about Romans piercing his side?

Sure.

It's either that.

Putting vinegar on the sponge.

I either do that or I do like peeps bunnies.

So I kind of just pick whichever I'm feeling for the year.

Which thing we had on the sponge?

Was the Romans?

Yeah, he was like, I want to drink.

And then like, give him a fucking vinegar on a sponge.

Shove that.

And he had to drink that.

I think he probably went like,

no, we,

you know, we weren't going to do anything religious, but it was kind of like, hey,

what regarding the Easter bunny do we do?

Like, the Easter bunny came last night.

And I was like, you know, this is just too close to Christmas.

And Santa.

She was already confused enough by Santa where he gave her a scooter.

And we said, go ride your scooter.

And she's like, that's Santa's.

And she hasn't touched it since then because

she still thinks it's Santa's.

I think so.

I don't know.

So she was fine with him eating the cookies.

That was what she was really excited for, leaving the cookies and milk out.

And then she came down and saw it.

She wants to keep him fat.

And then we're like, look what Santa brought you.

And she's like, uh-uh, no, that's Santa's.

And she wouldn't.

That's confusing.

Can you put a note on it that says,

like, hey, hey, Emmy, could you have, would you take this for me?

Can you take this off my hands?

I can't, I'm too fat to write a screen.

Yeah, maybe right now you can put a note on it and say, Santa lets a note that so this is yours.

Send a letter to her in the mail that's from Santa.

Dear Emmy, dear, Emmy.

So I just thought it was too much to be like, hey, there's another mythical creature who's going to drop by in the middle of the night.

So we just did

where, you know, we hid, or, you know, colloped it, honestly.

No shit.

Hid the eggs, and the eggs had stuff like little presents, trinkets inside.

You're going to get yourself in mom life comics if you're not careful.

Maybe next year you can introduce the idea of the bunny when she kind of can

do it when it's way too late.

Well, because she's going to hear about it.

She's eight years old.

She is at preschool and stuff.

They're going to say, the Easter bunny's coming.

We've been doing swim lessons all week here.

And so

I was chatting about this with other parents.

And yeah, and I had to keep my voice down in talking about it because, you know,

yeah.

But I don't know.

And you were busy talking about the shape of water bunny.

and when you when you go tiny darko's bunny tiny dark there's so many bunnies that visit us so many bunnies some happier than others bugs bunny very rude yeah

um the bunny did come to my house and left a lot of presents and um it was it's funny though because my both of my children's grandmothers so my mom and my mother-in-law they both

sent a lot

a lot of presents and so i had to space them out and my cousin sent a basket for them too so i had to like space them out for the weekend we love holidays in my family jesus and so like i Friday, they got to open like a big box of stuff for my mom that was really, honestly, way more exciting than what the bunny brought.

I was kind of like, oh, should have put some of that in the best.

What did she put in there?

A mermaid costume.

Like, there's just a, it was clothes.

Are you sure it wasn't an actual mermaid?

Candy.

She died in the box.

It might have been.

She disintegrated.

But we cost him.

When we were kids, I don't think we got presents on Easter.

I think it was just candy.

I can't.

Chocolate eggs.

We got the candy.

I can't even help myself.

We got presents growing up and presents we got candy but it was it was usually pretty tame it would be like you know a special stuffed animal and like a couple little thing toys and then like like a coloring book you know whatever it wasn't like but i feel like i never even believed in the easter bunny like oh i did santa you know i just always remember that he was yeah i really did and i was very into that really and then and then it I never really imagined what he was like.

Yeah, I was really into it.

He probably fucks good.

I didn't really imagine if he was a

lot, certainly.

Like, I didn't think he was like what you see at the mall, but I also didn't think it was a bunny.

What have I seen at the mall?

Like the Easter bunny, you know, like

you know, the big human size.

It's so bad.

It's, it's so, there's never

anything that looks cute or reassuring or friendly.

You know what it should be?

It should be like a five-foot-tall woman inside a small, it should be like a really cozy, like stuffed animal costume.

Right.

So, so it shouldn't be six feet tall.

Minnie Mouse regulations.

That was

the people who were Mickey and Minnie and Donald.

I think that would be more

five.

Wouldn't that be more pleasant?

I think they should when they're so tall, it's kind of unsettling.

I think they should put clothes on an actual bunny.

Yeah.

A big fluffy white bunny.

I think they should just stand next to it.

A six feet tall bunny.

But there's nothing that says that he's six feet tall except for those things at the mall.

Do you know what I mean?

Right, right.

Everything we know should make us believe that it is a rabbit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, I don't remember ever being told in the Easter money, he's a gigantic rabbit.

Yeah, that's true.

No, because you definitely don't want to think that.

That's too scary.

But you want him to have agency, so he can't just be a normal-sized rabbit, right?

Like, he can't be picking up presents.

It should be like Alice in Wonderland, like the white rabbit in that, where he's like running around in clothes and he's got like a whole, you know, but he looks like a rabbit.

He does not look like a person in a suit.

Yeah.

He looks like a rabbit.

But that being said, he's fucking fucking late.

Gigi's first Easter was a hit.

It was very successful.

Easter egg hunt was lovely.

And

the baskets, they overflowed.

So it was just

overflowed.

It was just beautiful.

And with candy and presents.

Candy and presents.

Well, the eggs mostly had candy in them.

Well, we, yeah, we didn't, we only gave her one chocolate egg at the end of the day.

So everything inside the eggs that we gave were like little trinkets, like, you know, little jewelry, like a bracelet.

I did that.

i did that last year

i did like all rings and tattoos last year yeah tattoos yeah this year i did rubber foods that were like tiny little rubber foods and then i did uh to trick her into trying to eat them yeah that's what i would do and then i did candy because i was like you know what i have so many little fucking trinkets everywhere let's make it candy so that way they disappear down the toilet way down my with my poo with your poo well i'm gonna eat it let's be the little rubber food reminds me of when I worked at In General, the novelty store on South Street, and we had to do inventory.

What was the title of that store?

Like, what, why did they call it In General?

It was a general store.

It was a play on General Store.

Oh, I see.

Yeah, because they had, it was two levels.

There were households.

They only worked at businesses that were puns or plays on words.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

It sucks.

It's really struggling.

That's honestly another one.

That's honestly an, it kind of is.

It kind of is.

It's a show to demand.

You know what I mean?

It's like, yeah.

It's real time.

It's a play on Kluck.

This fucking guy.

This fucking guy.

He went and met with Trump and he's like, actually, Trump was very nice.

Like, you fucking

hear how stupid you sound.

I don't think he does.

People, people say, you know, I was really surprised.

He was actually very nice.

Did he go on

his toking show?

Right, Club Random?

Yeah, Club Random.

So we had to do inventory.

Now, downstairs, we had a bunch of like fun novelty, you know, toys and shit like that.

Give me one example.

I think you can get

like a magic eight ball there.

Okay,

did you sell like lunch boxes?

Shorts?

Shorts with like a raccoon tail on them?

No.

Did you sell lunch boxes?

No, but that is something we would have sold.

So I never got the opportunity.

No one ever asked me.

I beg them.

Please let me know.

The store, like the penny, what do you call it?

Penny?

Not penny.

We've never.

Dollar store?

No, but what it used to be called.

Five and dime.

We got to get back to your Sue story, by the way, about the penny.

You saying penny reminded me of that.

Well, we had a little dime store.

That's what you called it.

Dime store.

Yes.

The dime store in my town.

I just want to, really quick, we had to get a lunchbox from there.

It was very exciting to go in there and get to pick out your lunchbox.

The day of the year where we're picking up a lunchbox.

We went to Lucky's, the local grocery store, and I got to find not the loan shark.

I got a lunchbox and the Vig.

Yeah, where we got to pick the lunchbox.

It was so exciting.

What's one that you remember?

Well, I think I've talked about it.

I've picked

the Muppet Show one, and Miss Piggy was on.

You wanted, as a boy, you never wanted to pick anything with a girl on it because then for the entire year, people go, you're in love with Miss Piggy.

Yeah, it's an embarrassing.

But now we can talk about it.

I had the Wizard of Oz.

You're kind of in love with Miss Piggy.

She's fucking hot.

She's hot as hell.

She's got snout.

And she's down to clown.

She is constantly.

I had a Wizard of Oz lunchbox in thermos, so it was really cool.

Wizard of Oz.

I had Marvel Heroes.

Wow.

Yeah.

That was

typically what you would get.

And that's why I think that female heroes don't do well in comics because of the at the time,

everyone would say, oh, if you're buying like, you know, Ms.

Marvel or Captain Marvel or whatever, people would say, like, oh, you love her.

Yeah.

So what if I do them?

What's now it's all about bento boxes for kids' lunches.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Sure.

I recently got to.

My kids will have nothing but soy lunch.

But it's great because you can put, it has a place for like a cold thing underneath, and then it separates it from the thing.

Really?

And then you have little squares, and you put, you can cut up all your little foods, and it looks really pleasing, even if you don't do anything.

It looks like you're like a really great mom, even if you just put in, like, just fill each little square.

I do, I have one just for like going to the park and stuff.

And then, yeah.

I'll send you a link.

It's great.

Oh, great.

Well, we had to do inventory.

And

we had to count every single fucking thing in the store.

One, two, three, four, et cetera.

That's kind of what it would do.

But we had these bins of little rubber animals that were very cute, but they were very small.

Those are the ones that I displayed at the library.

We had to count

all of them, and it was.

That's stupid.

We were listening to music.

That's stupid.

And this one song kept making me lose connection.

No.

Was it one, two, three, four, ten?

Come on, baby.

Don't love me.

There were no numbers in the song.

That would be hard, though.

It was the song,

The Old Triangle by the Pogues

from their second album.

What is that about?

Is that about the Bermuda Triangle?

No.

It's not.

Now.

Is it about freaking a MILF

in our old triangle?

You're closer than you think.

You're closer than you think.

A MILF.

I got a freaking MILF.

Can you come by tonight and watch a movie or something?

Sorry.

Yeah, I'm a little busy.

I got a freaking MILF.

the old triangle is a song um

that is about a guy who's in prison i will say triangles have three sides and so that might have been throwing your count off

because you're constantly thinking about three

it was the it was the chorus for some reason would throw me off which goes like this uh and the old triangle went jingle jingle

all along the banks of the royal canal and it it was the

Decembrist.

It was the jingle.

I did sound like the Decemberist.

I wasn't trying to.

Okay.

And the old triangle.

Not the jingle.

It was the jingle jangles.

And the jangle.

For some reason, that was throwing me off.

And then my coworker called it because she heard me going,

every time I would lose count.

And she said, is it the jingle jangles?

And I said, yes, it is.

And I don't know why that was making me lose count.

I think because I was also counting them.

You should have put all the jingle bangs.

And I know it's a little late for this tip, but you should have put piles of 10.

Oh, I absolutely should have done something like that.

Yeah.

Or piles of one.

I was more doing it.

You count the piles of one.

Oh, that's true.

Then you just have to start over from the beginning.

Yeah.

So what happened with this penny at the zoo?

We need to know.

Oh, well, I was going to say that, okay, so I'm- Lauren,

give us the truth.

And you know what?

Take your time with it.

Do it right.

I don't think that there's a lot to say, but there's these machines that they, so what they say is you can tap your, you can either put in money or you can tap your card and it's $4 or something and you get all four, or maybe it's four or five dollars, you get all four pennies.

You just crank, you keep cranking, and the pennies come out.

I now, the bit I had.

You had to put the penny in.

You had to put the penny in, but also

50 cents.

And I thought that was outrageous.

You'd put the coins and a penny.

Yeah.

Sometimes I remember my father used to say that it was.

$4 for four pennies.

Well, you haven't even heard the rub.

That's not the rub.

No.

But he used to say inflation is the thing that drives people the craziest as they get old because they can't believe that things are this much money.

You know what I mean?

Because they're just so used to what things were when they were a kid.

But sometimes I feel insane when I think about it, like, I remember going to Disneyland where the penny thing is, and you would put the penny in, and it would be like 10 cents or something.

Now you hear it's five fucking dollars.

It sounds like the technology is advanced.

I personally am not too bothered.

I think it was $4.

I'm not too bothered by

because I can get all four at once.

However,

so they have them throughout the zoo and

I say no to the first one and I'll say yes to the second.

Fine.

You can get it.

Because it's fun to crank it, the thing.

Yeah.

And then they come out.

I would pay $15 to crank that.

I did it once

and it worked.

But I did another one and it took it tapped and it said crank and then nothing came out.

No.

And then I'm like, oh no.

And I'm going, did the money money go through?

That's when you miss having dollars because you're going, like, I don't know if you just ate my money or if it just didn't do anything.

Yeah.

So have you looked up your credit card?

I haven't.

That's the thing.

You should have to put the penny in.

Yes, Queen.

Right.

Thank you.

And also, it's part of the, you know, keeping it going.

Also, because it's your penny.

It's my penny and I got it.

And I smushed it.

And I defaced this currency and I'm going to jail.

All vending machines should have a manager that you go complain to as a true character.

It is, you know, it is weird.

There should be a little guy in the bottom.

He's like, what?

What are you mad about?

What are you mad about?

What are you mad?

What are you mad about?

What's the problem?

What?

Did it tap you cut?

I'm trying to work in here.

And I think I've said before, they don't accept cash at the zoo.

So if you, I heard a kid saying he wanted to buy something and they didn't have, they didn't accept cash.

I said, well, that's fucked up.

That is weird.

Why don't they accept cash at the zoo?

Because people, the pandemic

were all stealing it.

They said, they said money is, you know,

cash?

They live still caps.

When I was in acting school, we had a vending machine in the little break room.

And I remember the day that

dispensed like comedy and tragedy masks.

Today, I'll be funny.

But it was, we were, you know, I mean, everyone was broke.

We were all hungry all the time.

The salad days.

The second year I was there,

they built a Costco next to our training place, and that was great because you could get for $2, you could get two hot dogs and a drink.

Yeah.

Two hot dogs and two drinks.

Two hot dogs and two drinks for $2?

That's actually crazy.

But so we were hungry all the time.

You're insane.

That's too much.

It's too much food.

But I, but when one of my

mates figured out that you could basically shake this machine, tip it over about a 45 degree.

Hey, if you just shake and tip it, everything comes out.

Hey, if you just smash it with a hammer, you can get everything.

And so we would, during our breaks, we would go over there and just like,

and then everything would fall out until finally, this lasted a good six weeks or so until finally the administrators and the thing said, okay, everyone.

Did the noise attract attention?

No, it must have been the people who own the machine came by and realized that there was

no money in it, everything is gone.

They were doing inventory themselves.

Yeah.

And they said

you have to stop doing this.

But

what a great 90 days.

No, both.

No, month and a half.

45 years.

Month and a half fiance.

You said the triangle, old triangle song was kind of like freaking an old moaf, but you didn't say

because there's all there's the tie up all of the loose ends here.

People also believe that it's a du blanthon, yes, and that the old triangle represents something else.

That's what I'm saying, yeah.

A dick,

an old triangle, that'd be really bad, just an old guy with a triangle dick.

No, it's a young guy with an old triangle dick.

Okay, it's a Benjamin button.

All right, we have to take a break.

Fine,

There's so much advice out there, and all we want to do as parents is get it right.

The great news is, you're the expert on your child, and sometimes figuring out what they need is as simple as getting them to talk.

I'm Dr.

Susan Swick, a child and adolescent psychiatrist, and I'm also a mother of four.

On my new podcast, Talk Aboutable, I'll hear from parents about what's keeping them up at night, and we'll figure out how to tackle it by talking about it.

From Lemonada Media, Talk Aboutable is at September 9th.

Follow wherever you get your podcasts.

We are so back.

And

whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

You'll never guess what just happened.

The Pope's back.

He's trying to like build a.

Yeah, he's back.

Somehow, the Pope returns.

Guess who's back?

Back again.

It's the Pope.

And his friend.

Hi, I'm the Pope's friend.

We never.

Hi, I'm Kevin.

Have you always been friends?

I love the Pope.

He's my best pal.

Wow, I'm happy for you.

We've been best friends ever since we're three years old.

And then we became Pope.

Now I'm still free.

I don't want to.

I don't feel like people say, we've been best friends since I'm five.

I don't like I'm five.

Why is it I'm?

You know how some people say that?

I mean,

I've been doing that since I'm five.

I don't know anybody in real life who does that.

No, people do do it in real life.

Creating cartoons, yeah.

I've heard it a lot.

No, people, New York people, and just people.

Hey,

we've been friends on five.

We're with friends of five.

Don't do that to Johnny.

We've been friends to some five.

No, what's your problem?

We've been friends with some five.

People do that.

Okay.

Okay.

You're going to hear it again, dear.

It's time for a three tree, you guys.

What is a three tree?

It's a game.

And we're going to play a game.

Is it a buster?

No, it's not.

It's not anymore.

I just found out it's not.

So you admit you knew what it was.

Well, when you said it, it reminded me.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, it's no longer.

Oh, the girls.

The very first

Jennifer Hudson talk show

song tunnel song that

they put up online.

Hello.

I read an article about the Jennifer Hudson private ones.

They just did it, and they never taped it.

And then that's bananas to me.

B-A-N-A-N-A-E-R-S.

Thank you.

And so then they taped that one, and Gwen Stefani played along with it so well.

They said, let's put this online.

And then it becomes.

Because the other people just like covered their business.

Some people are like, oh,

I love that, though.

I think it's so cute how they do that.

It's a good effort.

I can't.

This sucks, and I'm not trying to just be negative for no reason.

Okay.

But

I cannot help but imagine there's a couple people in there that don't want to do it.

Do I do a bunch of people?

Oh, like plays.

I thought that, but then reading the article, I think they all love it.

And they're, in fact, there's five people.

I mean, it's a break from whatever the drudgery of the drudgery of Jennifer Hudson talk showing.

But there's five people on a Slack, I guess, who figure out what song they're going to do.

They like spitball it back and forth of like, oh, Kevin Hart is from Philadelphia, and so is Will Smith.

Maybe we do a parody of a Will Smith.

You know, it's like, that's the thought.

Right, right, right, right, right.

Or the Streets of Philadelphia by Bruce Springs TV.

My first thought was the movie Philadelphia.

But how many episodes do they tape a day?

28, I think.

And then people like Artemis said, that's a lot of fun.

They do 28.

They do 28 walkdowns and then they film them all in bulk.

Then they beg the people to come fly on the show.

Come on, we already filmed the walkdown.

Please.

You said.

Please do it.

You already did the walkdowns.

And

they must have to rehearse or something.

Yes.

I think so.

Or maybe somebody sends it like an audio and then they put it on the street.

This is pretty tight.

Like when they do it, you don't hear like sloppy seconds.

Also, everyone wants me on TV, and it must be a thing where their loved ones can like check in with them every day and go, I saw you today.

Well, wait, does that actually make it to the show?

Well, they see him on Instagram.

I thought it was just on Instagram.

I have no idea.

I have no idea.

Because Instagram is not TV, bro.

I think it's a form of TV.

Whoa, I'm so sick of having this argument.

Instagram is not TV.

Stop arguing with me.

What's the buster?

There's no such thing as a buster.

Oh, and

so this is just a game.

Okay.

And it's called Celebrity Hunt.

Okay.

And some

Celebrity Egg Hunt.

Are you saying a variation?

Maybe.

This has to be famous eggs.

You have to do

Dumpty.

You have to.

I got that one from

Garfield.

There's an egg in Garfield?

Yeah, it's no, that's not Garfield.

It looks like Garfield, but it's it's a different.

Yeah, I forget what it's called.

No, it's Garfield.

Garfield and Friends.

Oh, Garfield and Friends.

Yes, yes,

and there's an egg character?

There's an egg with legs.

I think I could think of its name if I tried really hard.

I think it's Camilla.

Hold on, let me find out.

Are you fucking kidding me?

If it's Camilla, I'm going to be so mad.

Are there any other?

Oh, it's Sheldon.

Sheldon.

Young.

Talk about egg sheld.

Surely there's some kind of egg pun involved.

Someone, well, Shell.

I know you can't talk about the Big Bang.

Oh, you're saying because Camilla.

I know you can't talk about the Big Bang theory theory verse.

I think young Sheldon was an egg first.

Shouldn't there be Egg Sheldon?

Which came first?

Egg Sheldon or Young Sheldon?

Shouldn't there be Sheldon in heaven waiting to be born?

When was young Sheldon born?

If you had to like guesstimate.

Siri, when was young Sheldon born?

All right, so this is Young Sheldon.

There's no egg named Camilla, by the way.

Because Sheldon's a chicken named Camilla from the Muppets.

Sheldon was born.

Chickens have eggs.

There's probably 50.

Chickens have eggs.

By the way, there's no egg named Camilla.

Sheldon was born 50 years or so ago, but when was young Sheldon born?

Sheldon was born 50 years ago.

What do you think?

That doesn't sound right.

How old is

the character Sheldon?

And then the egg Sheldon.

He never got born.

He was an egg the whole time.

Jim Parsons is 52, so he was.

Wow.

But how old was Sheldon?

Do you think he's playing younger?

Probably

older.

Okay, so say younger.

I'm sorry.

Pardon me.

Say Sheldon was born 45 years ago.

When was young Sheldon born?

Well, young Sheldon's birthdate has to be discussed because they're showing the show in what year it takes to be able to.

Yes, young Sheldon was also born 45 years ago.

Right?

Isn't that weird?

It's crazy.

It's trippy.

To be born on the same day

as you when you were young.

I'm tweaking.

Let's play celebrity hunt.

The way it's played is, Paul, take it away.

You and do it good.

Somebody yells out a celebrity name, and you got to yell it.

And then we all yell hunt.

Hunt.

And then, going clockwise, the next person has to name a celebrity.

And you can do it.

And you can do it.

The next person has to name a celebrity whose first name begins with the last letter of the previous celebrity's last name.

Yes.

And there's no two ways about it.

That's how it's played.

There's just one way.

Now, I also think that in honor of Egg Hunts,

which is top of mind for everybody four months from now, is that we should alternate between saying hunt and saying egg.

Saying hunt and saying egg.

I think you're right.

Okay, extra challenge.

And alternate meaning one and one or two and one or

like we say hunt twice and egg once.

No,

it'll be celebrity.

I mean, it'll be hunt, measure twice, cut once, hunt, egg, hunt,

egg.

Let's just do that, huh?

Take out the celebrity part.

Okay, great.

Let's just start.

Hunt, egg, hunt, egg, hunt, egg, hunt, egg, hunt, egg, hunt, egg.

I want to start.

All right.

You got one?

Yes.

Three, two, we'll start.

We're

hunt.

Gene Smart.

Egg.

Oh, fuck.

I was thinking of my guy.

Egg.

That's why it's hard.

Egg.

Tyrese.

Hunt.

Eric Balfour.

Egg.

Rita Wilson.

Hunt.

Nas.

Hunt.

Egg.

Fuck.

This is hard.

We're going to get it, though.

Okay.

Egg.

Sharon Stone.

Hunt.

Emilio Estevez.

Egg.

Zendaya.

Hunt.

Alan Alda.

Egg.

Aniston Jennifer.

Reba McIntyre.

Was that supposed to be an egg or was it?

It was egg.

It was egg.

Okay.

Egg.

Okay.

Egg.

What did you just say?

I said Reba McIntyre.

You said Reba.

McIntyre.

Yeah.

Reba would have sufficed.

She's quite a mononymic.

Exactly.

She's getting there.

Egg.

England Dan.

England Dan.

And John Ford Coley.

Singer.

It is just England Dan.

England Dan.

Dan.

Yeah.

Dan.

Natalie and Brugia.

Yeah.

Egg.

Amy Adams.

Hut.

Steve Buscemi.

Egg.

Idris Elba.

Hut.

Adam Arkin.

Egg.

Noel Wells.

Hut.

Sammy Hagar.

Egg.

Richard Dreyfus.

Hunch.

Steve Martin.

Egg.

Nat King Cole.

Huns.

E

Edward

Furlong.

Egg.

Egg.

Gil Gerard.

Hunch.

Donahue.

Egg.

Don't you comicville?

Or just Donahue?

Well, he's also Mana Newton.

Yeah, but that's fine.

Reba's, same thing.

Yeah, but that's fine.

Reba's same.

Yeah, but that's fine.

Reba, same thing.

Reba, same thing.

Eddie Alberts.

Hunt.

Hunt.

Tim McGraw.

Egg.

Wendy Williams.

Hunt.

Sarah Silverman.

Egg.

Egg.

The E-E-E, Nate Silver.

Randy Newman Egg

Newman from Seinfeld

and it's fine

David

Egg

from the Bible

Darlene from Roseanne

Edgerton comma Joel,

Did I go with the L or with the L?

The L, I believe.

Okay, I'll take the L.

Lisa

Turtle.

I'm saying by the bell.

Okay.

Egg.

Egg.

Egg.

Egg named Sheldon.

Oh, Eggs Sheldon.

Right.

Nisi Nash.

Perry Anderson

C.

Myers

Stevie Wonder

Rogers comma mister

We have no rules, so nobody's getting out.

Yeah, who cares?

Oh, wait, what?

Rogers, comma, mister?

Oh, yeah, Mr.

R.

Re Reba.

There's got to be a Reba.

Another Reba.

Reba.

Rita.

Rita Aura.

Rita Aura.

Arthur Conley.

Singer.

Singer.

Why?

Yes.

Okay.

Yvette Mimieu.

X.

Egg.

X.

Yeah, sorry.

Xander

Holyfield.

Corvus.

Corvus.

Xander.

Xavier Cougat.

Xavier Cougat.

Xavier Cugatt.

Egg.

Tim Tebow.

What's fascinating about this game is you hear what's rattling around in all of our brains for some reason.

Wishbone.

Wishbone?

Who's Wishbone?

Wishbone the dog.

Time traveling dog.

Oh, okay.

Sorry.

Jesus.

Emily

Stone.

That's her real name.

Who?

Emma.

Oh, Emma.

Oh, right, right.

Emily Impali.

Egg,

Susan Sauranden.

Hunt.

Nutrageous.

Nutrageous.

Hey.

I'm out.

I'm out.

I'm out.

I'm going to bow out.

Okay.

Should I take notrageous or?

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay, notrageous.

Steven Soderbergh.

Hunt.

Harry.

From Harry and the Hendersons.

Egg.

Yvette Nicole Brown.

Did you say that already?

No, I did not.

Okay.

Egg.

No E, right?

N

uh

Matt Faxon.

A

yeah

New

Jack City

Hux.

Paul, keep going.

Iglesias, comma Enrique.

A

that's with an I.

And you're out.

Fuck.

Could have said yes.

Matt Iglesias.

Yasmeen Blithey.

The awful writer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yasmine.

And a celebrity.

Yasmine Bleith.

Yasmine Bleith.

I literally was trying to get away from that.

Yolanda from Real Housewives, Yolanda.

Sure.

What's her last name?

I almost got.

What's her name?

Is it Yolanda Hadid?

Maybe it is.

Yes, Chef.

Yes, Chef, Natural Egg.

Yardvark.

Yardigans back.

Well, that's it.

That's it.

Well, that's it.

We did it.

We played episode three.

Flawless.

Perfect.

Perfect game of celebrity egg hunt.

That was fun.

That was really cool.

I know some people hate that.

And I'm sorry.

And to them, I say, sorry.

Sorry.

Start your own show.

Start your own show where you play the game, but you do it how you like it.

What if people, I would love if somebody started an anti-threedom show.

Yeah, where you do the opposite?

Yeah.

What's the opposite?

Be good.

Listen, thanks, everybody.

If you'd like to hear ad-free versions of the show and you would like to get access to our thremium episodes, which we do every other Wednesday, then go to lemonata premium or cbbworld.com.

Write to us.

Write to us at 3dmusagmail.com.

Long letters.

At 3dmusagmail.com or leave us a voicemail at the famous website, hey.

Heyclaims8.com.

And

Paul,

are you out there in these streets at this point?

I bet I still am.

Let me figure out exactly when.

We've got a lot of places to go.

It's probably May, late May.

Yeah, I think.

Oh, no.

Did I never update?

Oh, no.

It's June 5th.

June 5, I am out on those streets.

And let me tell you where I am because that will help you find me.

Yeah.

That would be best.

I mean, I guess people could just walk outside and hope they see you.

I was just in my hometown of Philadelphia last night.

Wow.

And I'm getting ready to go to Washington, D.C., our nation's capital.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Are you going to sit on top of the Washington Monument?

Yeah.

I'm going to climb all the way up there.

And then I'm going to put my rectum on top of the point.

That's what you meant, right?

Do you think they've sanded it off because too many people are doing it?

They're too people trying to do that.

Yeah.

People trying to kill themselves.

I wonder if you could jump out of a plane and like skewer yourself on that.

Don't wonder that.

Okay.

Yeah.

You should wonder that.

I bet it's restricted airspace there.

Do you think think there was a cork on top of it yeah yeah they probably put a cork on it probably have just to keep it safe yeah yeah yeah okay guys

we'll see you next time i'm looking at the boards it's a five

our health care system is broken in so many ways We have a healthcare system that's supposed to be taking care of people that is making it literally more difficult for people to put food on the table.

So this season, we'll dive into the challenges headfirst while also thinking about how we can find a better way because we all deserve better.

Uncared for season three from Lemonada Media.

Available August 6th, wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, it's Lena Waith.

Legacy Talk is my love letter to black storytellers, artists who've changed the game and paved the way for so many of us.

This season, I'm sitting down with icons icons like Belicia Rashad, Loretta Devine, Ava Duvernay, and more.

We're talking about their journeys, their creative process, and the legacies they're building every single day.

Come be a part of the conversation.

Season two drops July 29th.

Listen to Legacy Talk wherever you get your podcast, or watch us on YouTube.