Cross That River

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I'll see you in your dreams.

Hey, it's me, Steve Burns, and I'm so glad you're here because you and I go way back, right?

Yeah.

And look at us now.

Like, we're all grown up.

We've got this new podcast where we talk about all this grown-up stuff, and there's special guests like Jamie Lee Curtis and Bill Nye.

But for the most part, it's about you.

I mean, it's always been about you.

From Lemonada Media, a live with Steve Burns is coming September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts, or you can watch every episode on YouTube.

Did you hear those owls?

Yeah, are we in Harry Potter land?

Like John Lithgow?

Let me look around.

There's only two genders.

Hello, everyone.

Welcome to Treedom.

The magic of two genders.

Of course, we're talking about that notorious Turf.

The wizarding world of two genders and Harry Potter.

Do you think Nerf stands for Notorious Turf?

Nerf?

Yeah, probably.

Hey, should we be sponsored by Nerf?

Nerd exclusionary radical feminism.

I'm Lauren.

I'm Scott.

I'm Paul.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Let's bring back Entourage soon.

I should rewatch Entourage soon.

Why?

What about

yearly?

Of the entire series.

No, but I do re-watch it every couple of years.

Really?

Really?

What can I say?

I love Ari Gold.

What an indelible character.

Honestly, I like it.

I know I most toxic traits.

I've talked about it before.

Was that show a half hour or an hour?

Would it surprise you to learn it was a half hour and not three hours every week?

Yeah, it's a half hour.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I remember that the entoura movie,

which I saw at the Santorama Dome.

Oh, I saw it at four theaters somewhere on, I think, Wilshire.

It premiered on September 11th.

That's 2001.

Or no, no, no.

It was the Entourage finale.

Oh, okay.

It was on 9-11.

Not the 9-11.

Oh, okay.

But

the anniversary of 9-11.

Oh, sure.

And it ended with

two planes heading for New York City.

No, it didn't.

Yes, it did.

On purpose?

Todd Levin pointed that out to me, my friend Todd Levin.

That's crazy.

On purpose.

Wait, when is this going to air?

Okay.

I have a last-minute change in the screen.

That's so weird.

This is our Entourage Recap podcast.

Yeah,

everything worked out at the end.

Well, also famously, I thought Aquaman was a character they made up for that show.

Sure.

Oh, that's right.

Yeah.

Did you, wouldn't you?

Yeah.

Right.

I was like, it's a fake superhero.

Aquaman is just as as close as you can.

I think I learned about it on Newcomers.

I was like, oh,

it's a real guy.

Sorry.

He's a real guy.

Yeah.

They're cowards for not getting him to play Aquaman when they actually made the.

Yeah, really.

You got the guy right here.

Yeah.

He has experience.

That would have been cool.

It would have been a combination.

It would have been like the fourth wall breaking.

Vinny Chase as Aquaman in real life.

And he's billed as Vinny Chase.

Yeah.

Why is he called Chase?

Vinny Chase?

Because he chases chases women.

Are you saying, why do they name him that?

Yeah.

Because he's chasing his dreams.

He left Queens.

Oh, I am Queen's Boulevard.

Although he is Queen's Boulevard, yes.

Yes.

Well, he can't always, he never leaves because it's always within his heart.

That's right.

Suit.

Something you never understand.

Suit.

Remember that guy?

No, which guy was that?

He was the director, like the cool director.

Oh, that guy.

Yeah.

You kept referring to E as a suit.

He's right.

We love it, of course.

And we're going to spend the next hour talking about it.

Of course.

Of course, our good friend, Hand Job Man.

Hey, are you watching the studio?

Loving it.

I watched the first three.

I haven't seen it.

Apple TV.

The latest.

So good.

I'm loving it.

And it's, well, it's like an,

it's got some entourage bits that I enjoy, such as

shit behind the scenes.

Because it's Hollywood behind the scenes.

Yes.

And, you know, it's full of people with foibles.

They are foibles.

And in real life, it's full of people with foibles.

I'm really enjoying it.

Life, if we could get rid of foibles.

wouldn't that be great?

I would love to get rid of the foibles.

Yeah, boy, oh boy.

I met Jeff Goebbels once when you just quoted that.

You met him once when I just quoted that.

Because you just quoted him.

Oh, I wanted to say I met him once, and it was lovely.

And I was like, I basically could barely eke out that I was in dress.

Well, he didn't care.

He'd love me just as much as any other stranger.

Real forearm toucher.

I have a great picture.

What the fuck was I going to say?

About entourage.

No, I don't want to say it's an entourage podcast.

Who's in your entourage?

Who's in your entourage?

Who's in your entourage?

Tall John probably is in my entourage.

And then what character does he relate to?

And which character do you are you

the most?

Well, you're E.

You think I'm E?

Yeah, I'm probably

the entourage.

Are you E?

I mean, we'll say we were the entourage.

You put yourself as the not main.

Some might say he is the main.

E, because he's handling all the deals.

Yeah.

He's our POV character.

He is our POV character.

Yeah.

I guess.

But if say we were the entourage, who would we be?

Who do you most relate to?

Lauren?

Are you turtle?

I'm Vinny, obviously.

Getting all the babes.

No, I'm drama.

You think you're drama?

I feel like I'm a jolly.

Drama.

You're drama.

I'm turtle.

No one's Vinny.

We need a Vinny.

That's the thing.

You need a Vinny.

Do you think

you're kind?

HJO is our Vinny.

I wish it was going to be Paige.

What's her name?

Paige Davis.

Davis.

Paige Davis.

Yeah, Reggie Miller.

Reggie Miller.

Reggie Miller.

I can't believe all these people that

we've sent out the fourth.

Paige basically

said she would.

She was on that tip on that cameo.

It was a cameo.

You can't believe anything people say in a cameo.

Yeah, you've lied in a bunch of those.

They don't know.

They don't give a shit if it's your birthday.

They don't.

I do care when our fans' birthdays are.

But you don't do that.

No camo.

I care when our fans' birthdays are.

You don't do cameos, though.

No, I won't do cameos about it.

But when I hear one of our fans has a birthday, I get very well.

Like today, I want to just say happy birthday because I know that a few listeners' birthdays are today.

I can't, I don't have their names listed right here.

No, no, no.

I remember, I think today it's like the how many listeners have a birthday today?

Probably like 75, I think.

I think 75.

I remember Margaret had one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

John and Amanda.

Patrick had a birthday.

But I just want to say, like,

I'm talking about the birthdays, of course, the day that we're recording.

But I'm talking about the birthdays the day that it comes out, which is Sarah and

Matt.

That's part of the problem: when we record episodes, we have birthdays on the day we're recording and the day it comes out.

And then we have some people who just are listening today, whatever day it is.

Whatever day it is, we have Flora as well.

Yes, exactly.

I would love to know if there's a day of the year that's nobody's birthday.

It's not possible.

I think it's possible.

No, it's not.

I i think it is i think we could get there how many billion people are in the world i think people as they start to die off i think from now on we should set it we should we should like cordon off a day and say this is nobody's birthday it should be like that movie new year's eve where they're trying to get it born yes

a reverse new year's eve where we're like if your baby is born on this day we i don't know what happens that's my favorite sethmeers movie yeah yeah you've said that before and i that that's how i know i'll die on that that's how i know it's true i think it's i think it's the best movie seth myers has been in that's great has he been in other movies i have no idea i think great guy seth

we love you if you're listening rest in peace no what we don't know what's going to happen when this comes out we are taping this very far in advance 50 years 50 years in advance yeah

um we're putting it in a time capsule yeah this is a special episode on a cd yeah yeah yeah that we're just sharing with one listener Yeah.

Wu Tong Sai.

Martin Shkrelli.

Paul, what did you do last week?

Because I know you were since we recorded.

Paul, you went out.

Yes, I went to Chicago.

Why did you go there?

To answer the question, is that your jacket?

And did you find out?

I did.

Good.

It is your jacket.

Good.

I did some Thrilling Adventure Hour shows.

Oh, that's right.

It is the 20th anniversary of Thrilling Adventure Hour.

Two whole decades.

We started doing it 20 years ago.

And what's really funny is that on the posters,

well, just wait.

Don't jump the gun.

I thought it was funny on the poster.

On the poster, we noticed this as we were signing them that

the year is off.

On the poster, it says, we started doing the show in 2005.

And it says on the poster, 2004, 2024.

And that escaped the notice of many people.

Oh, but it's actually 2005, 2025.

Yes, that's correct.

Because this year is what, 2025, you're saying this year is currently?

Yeah.

It's 2025.

Wow.

Wow.

Honestly, today I was just going, I was just remembering something from the past, and I went, that was 20 years ago.

That's insane.

Washington crossing the Delaware?

Yes, I remember.

Isn't that wild?

I just remember

like crossing a fucking river used to be a big deal.

Like, come on, guys.

Do a paint in a battle, why don't you?

I can cross the river in like four steps.

I could cross the river in three steps.

cross that river.

Um, I, a, Jamie, and I, this year in October, will have been together for 20 years.

Wow,

yeah, yeah,

that's crazy, man.

That's amazing.

Hey, man, good for you.

Hey, man, happy anniversary, man.

We are, I believe this is coming out around Kulop and I's anniversary of dating 26 years ago.

Whoa,

whoa,

26 years ago?

26 years.

What's the most do you feel like you learn new things about your partner?

No.

Regularly.

I learn old things.

You relearn things you already knew.

Yeah, we got to do a refresher course.

I'm reminded of things that I forgot.

You know the feature we do where we take the quiz about each other?

Yeah.

Yes.

That's what we all have to do.

Honestly, it's one of the hardest quizzes I've ever been given.

I have no memory of anything that's ever been said.

But do you, but do you feel that you learn something new every so often?

Like, oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah.

I feel like, honestly, just from your podcast, podcast i've heard you have a go oh i didn't know that yeah

it is funny when you when you've been with somebody a long time long ass and you still thank you yeah after 20 it's long ass and you stumble upon a story or a fact that you've never told them yeah yeah like that episode we did where uh we mentioned i auditioned for the dating game and lauren you were auditioned for america's next audition i did i did and you and you were

you were like how has this never come up yeah that actually is weird because those are pretty big ones.

Yeah.

It took a long time.

Took a long time.

Took a long time.

Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely.

Shouldn't have left you without a dope beat to say.

But I feel like I learned a lot when Kulop made her documentary.

Oh, I'm sure.

Because I know I had heard.

You know how when you first start dating someone, you learn a lot about them, but it's in such a short amount of time that...

You just can't retain all of that information, right?

So a few times I've been been like, What's your last name?

And how do you say that?

Pardon me, honey, but could you refresh my memory about this aspect of your past, you know, or something like that?

But,

but watching her movie, I was like, oh, I'm seeing all of this in kind of the proper context instead of like split up in many conversations

in order.

Yeah.

So every

couple, one of the people should make a movie about themselves.

Yes.

Every other year.

Yeah.

Like, you know how James Bond movies used to come out every odd year?

Yeah, yeah.

Odd job.

They came out every odd year.

It was like, if it was an odd-numbered year, a James Bond movie was coming out.

Why was that?

Because they took two years to make, I guess.

So they just were like, don't worry, there will be one in the next odd year.

Yeah.

James Bond will return in the next odd year.

And you just knew that?

You just knew it.

Yeah.

You knew it as a news.

How many are there?

For sure as rain is wet.

How many James Bond movies are there?

Yeah.

Official or

also the unofficial.

There's official.

Yeah.

I guess

official full?

I guess any way you say it.

Do you want to guess?

I mean, if it's every other, every two years, every odd year, every other year.

They stop doing it that way.

Okay.

I guess I would say there's 60.

You want to take a guess, Paul?

One.

Okay, price is right.

There's only one James Bond movie.

One?

Was the first one in 1960, Dr.

No?

Was that 60?

Probably, yeah.

How many are there?

I have no idea.

Oh, I thought you knew.

No,

it's not good to have that information in your head.

I don't want to have it.

People say we should do that on newcomers.

I know.

Newcomers.

It's very sad.

He has that sickness.

I think if we do that, newcomers, that's like, I don't think I can handle that.

It's a lot of newcomers.

Some of them are long.

Unless they just picked like 10 for us, because I mean, sometimes that's what we do.

There are 25, apparently.

Dang.

I said 60.

That's way too many.

And some are sort of repeats.

Like when dang me, it's only been 60 years since it came.

No, it didn't make any sense once I did the math.

Didn't make any sense at all.

But

I thought there were just way too many.

You know, it just seemed like they should pair it up.

25 is a lot.

25 is a lot if you're talking about like mission impossible.

Like there's like other types of

what, eight or nine?

If you did 10 episodes, you could probably, it could probably be kind of fun.

Okay, fine.

We'll do it.

I think James.

If I put the best 10, I think you could enjoy it.

That's the thing.

I think anytime they make a new one, they need to just delete one of the old shitty ones.

For sure.

Well, I think that about podcasts.

Yeah.

We should honestly, I think any podcast that only has like two episodes would just be deleted.

Like, we just need to clear space.

We need data to be cleared.

I just imagine it must be very clogged out there.

I think they should take all the one or two episode podcasts where people are like, oh, it turns out I don't want to do this.

Yes.

I think they should have a great idea for a podcast.

Put them all in a hard drive and throw them in a landfill.

Yes.

Like the E.T.

video game.

Why are we saving them?

what i don't know that there was an et video game that

was so bad it was so shitty that they the the story is that they buried literally buried literally yeah they just like took them out of the store and they were like let's just get rid of these yeah whoa that's great yeah and now they're really difficult to find i think they're very rare or something it's it's like so bad it's also very hard to play but why there was a great were they embarrassed like why did they get rid of they had red faces and everyone was constantly like why is your face so red it should just be your finger your You're E.T.

after all.

It was so they could say that it never

embarrassed.

People would be like, you made the E.T.

game.

And they're like, there's no such thing.

That doesn't happen.

Go find one.

Try to go find one.

Show it to me right now.

Oh, yeah.

Go dig a little land.

There was a green room on the tour, on the Bang Bang tour last year that had

a cabinet

video game console.

Oh, right.

And you could play a bunch of different games.

And E.T.

was one of the games.

And it was very hard to play.

Yes.

I read an article about it a few years back and

yeah, I don't know what was so hard about it, but it was like impossible to win and shitty.

And also had no kind of connection to E.T.

because it was set on his.

He never used the phone.

It was set on his planet, I think.

He's so cute.

What's his actual name, I wonder?

What is ETH?

I feel now we're doing CBB crossovers because this came out recently.

Maybe his name is Glorb.

You don't think it's E.T.

or is his initials?

Like it's

Edna Triginosis.

Edna Turnblat.

Edna Triginosis.

Edna Turnblat.

Edna Turnblatt.

From Hairspray.

Eric Tunney.

Oh.

That's really what it is.

Did in Hairspray, did anyone ever make that joke of like, ha, ha ha, you're like E.T., a thing that's going to come around?

Ha ha, you will be in 20 seasons.

I think they did make that.

Yeah.

That's cool.

Yeah.

It was cool.

They're so cool.

Baltimore is obsessed with E.T.

I loved the movie Hairspray as a kid, the one with Ricky Lake.

Sure.

That was like a favorite.

I watched it all the time.

Wait, is that the one?

Okay.

Was Hairspray a non-musical that got turned into a musical?

Yeah, it was more of a dietary.

Yeah, it was.

And then they shot the musical.

It was like a producer's music.

But that means like there was just music in scenes.

Yeah, exactly.

Like that, that they're actually listening to.

Yeah.

And then they made the musical on Broadway and then they

shot the musical with Mr.

John Travolta.

Yes.

The wicked

talented.

Do you know what?

I don't know if this is totally true, true, but this past year I went, wait a second.

I don't know if I ever actually understood that he was referencing wicked.

Because I think I was just so focused on how he said the name wrong and how weird it was how he said wickedly.

And I was like, why is he doing all this?

And I almost didn't even put together.

It's a lot like being from Wicked because I was like, who's a Del Dazim?

Yeah.

It's a lot like being someone for 20 years.

You learn new things.

It's so packed with meaning.

You learn new things out there.

You tied it all back together.

Yeah, I did.

So fast.

Yeah, let's end this episode right now.

So I was in Chicago and something happened to me.

Oh.

Because it was C2E2, the famous convention.

Oh, it was during C2E2.

I went once.

C2 E2.

E.T.

Embarrassed.

E.T.

mortified.

It means Chicago 2-E2.

But what is E2?

I have no fucking idea.

It's a comic convention.

E2 Foo Hoom.

Thank you.

Yes.

I don't think I am aware of this.

Maybe.

Did you hear that I said E2 Foon Who?

I didn't

mean to say it you got to point it out so it can be the title i said it on purpose e2 foon whoon but then nobody heard it

e2 foon whom e2 foon e2 brute

e2 brutes

what if julius there was a production julius caesar but the guy is doing et or what if et stars in it and it's all he can say is et that's the thing e.t came down here and we were just

like we were like we were like all he says is et we were like get him back to his home planet we don't like immigrants here.

And we just ship him back.

What if he wanted to be an actor?

Yeah.

What if he wanted, if he had goals?

He's like, actually, I was trying to get here.

What if he liked it here?

Yeah.

E.D.

love it.

He just wanted to call his home.

He just wanted to say, I'm okay.

Yeah.

I live with his family now.

E.T.

like here.

So it was a comic convention.

Yes.

And it was happening, but you didn't.

go to the comic convention.

It was just no, our events were happening.

We did a panel and we did an improv show that were all in convention halls.

Thrilling adventure hour?

Yeah.

And so we were walking around and I realized I really love cons.

I like them.

I mean,

the rest.

Genghis.

I really

in that capacity of like being there for a thing, for a purpose.

So you get like...

walked through everything.

Yeah, yeah.

I love looking around.

I love seeing how creative people are and all the costumes.

I will say I've been, I've probably been going to cons for a while now.

I'm no, I'm recognizing less and less of the costumes.

Oh, oh, well, there's more and more.

There's so much stuff

in the anime world.

I have no idea.

There used to be only so much history.

That's what I've always said.

And now that, you know,

when you started learning about music, like you guys, like there were only so many decades of music.

And then every year you had to learn more and more and more.

But now the kids have to learn all the way back.

Yeah.

And then all the new stuff.

Beethoven to now.

Much like content, let's start deleting history.

Oh, I would love to.

If we could just go, like, it kind of just starts and ends with tears for fears.

Seems like no one remembers history anyway.

Come on, Paul.

We're doomed to repeat it.

Paul, come on.

Sweat dripping down his forehead.

My favorite cosplay that I saw was a guy dressed as John Hammond from Jurassic Park.

I mean, this is the perfect type of costume because you just throw on a hat.

It's comfortable.

Yeah, He's wearing like a linen shirt.

Like, very nice.

He's got a cane.

You can pull that off very nicely.

Oh, I could and I will.

Yeah.

But this, okay, so this is what happened to me.

We got to go.

Wait, wait.

Yeah, we saw it hurt.

What happened to him?

Let's throw to this after the break.

Cliffhanger.

Oh, boy.

What happened to him?

We'll be right back.

Cooler temps are rolling in.

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Okay, well, their denim's durable and it fits right.

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There's so much advice out there, and all we want to do as parents is get it right.

The great news is you're the expert on your child, and sometimes figuring out what they need is as simple as getting them to talk.

I'm Dr.

Susan Swick, a child and adolescent psychiatrist, and I'm also a mother of four.

On my new podcast, Talk Aboutable, I'll hear from parents about what's keeping them up at night, and we'll figure out how to tackle it by talking about it.

From Lemonada Media, Talk Aboutable is at September 9th.

Follow wherever you get your podcasts.

We're back.

Paul, I got to know what happened to you in Chicago.

We did our panel.

Hell yeah.

That's a great story.

What a great cliff.

There's more.

What?

Okay, I thought that was it.

No.

Oh, because it is a great story.

And that is what happened, Am.

Yeah.

We did.

So at the panel, a great thing happened.

When do we get to hear what these things are?

You're going to hear them right now if you'll shut the fuck up.

so the last so we did a panel and then people asked questions there's a you know mic in the in the aisle and people come up the very last guy to ask a question

said

uh

yeah hi um

I have no idea what this podcast is.

I've never heard it.

I have to talk about it.

I just came because I'm a fan of Paul and Janet.

And

I guess my question is, how long have Paul and Janet been part of the podcast?

But like, why did you stand up?

It was so, I think he was kind of on the spectrum.

Okay.

But he was very, he was.

If you're listening, maybe you're not.

We don't mean to say something about you.

Look,

you're not qualified to offer a diagnosis.

Is that right, Paul?

No, but I am willing to.

But he was, because he was weirdly, it was, he was not being

rude.

He wasn't being rude, but he was saying very plainly, like, I don't know who any of you are.

Right, right, right.

I mean, it's kind of a funny bit, also, if you're just absolutely to stand up at a panel and go, I don't know what this is.

I don't know who you are.

I don't have any questions.

The fact that he was the very last person, he waited the whole time.

Yeah.

But then, so we're leaving, and I'm wearing, I'm wearing a black.

That's a King Tud outfit.

Yeah, of course.

I have something related to that as well.

Oh, whoa, what?

That was a stab in the dark.

I have to tell you what I'm wearing because of the story.

I'm wearing a black suit, white shirt.

I have bottom jeans, boots with a fur.

A striped tie.

I'm wearing purple tinted glasses.

Okay.

And I have a scarf around my neck because it was a little chilly in Chicago.

And so we pass by

a woman who's sitting at the

door to one of the

great oppression.

I'm just trying to add some sound effects.

She like, she's working the convention.

She's

sitting on a chair in one of the, in front of a a closed door there's like an event going on in there

and

she we make eye contact and she says are you sure you're not actually him

and i stopped and i said

who oh and then she said i thought you were in cosplay then she started laughing

And I said, wait, who do you, who are you talking about?

And she's just laughing, like waving, like, I can't, I can't, I can't.

Yeah.

And then she goes, she just squeaks out like, I've seen a lot of cosplay.

And then she keeps laughing.

I never

found out

who the fuck she thought I was.

What was the costume?

I mean, you're what were you wearing?

What was your outfit again?

Black suit, apple bottom jeans.

I know it's all like a picture, but I love your apple bottom.

Thank you.

That's a delicious one.

White shirt.

I'm wearing a

black suit, white shirt.

A uh, a necktie with uh purple and green stripes.

Okay,

Purple-tinted glasses.

Okay.

A gray scarf around my.

Yeah, this is like an outfit I've seen you wear.

Yeah, I think you're Prince from the Bat Dance video.

Does she think you're you?

Some people are positing that, and I'm like, no.

She thinks I'm cosplaying as me.

No, that's

just being Paul F.

Tompkins.

Yeah.

Like, she's like, what a great Paul F.

Tompkins costume.

She obviously thinks you're someone.

Yes.

The purple-tinted glasses do take take it to another place.

Exactly.

So then I'm like, okay, the Joker.

But it's like, as a man.

You can't be the Joker if you don't have makeup on your face.

That's what I mean, though.

The Joker as a guy.

Like the Joker Joker.

Do you think the Joker dressed like the Joker before he fell in the Vad of Acid or whatever?

I think he wore, well, like in

Batman, 1989,

Jack Nicholson's wearing a purple suit, like a purple suit.

Before,

yes, a more muted, of course.

like a real so you think you think he wore those colors he was like in autumn or whatever and he likes to wear those colors but he amps it up once he becomes the joker because well no my face is so white yeah you gotta have a brighter version maybe this will distract everyone if i wear this i love that that movie that's like my favorite batman i haven't watched it in so much that's one of my favorite one of the creepiest things is when he puts the regular makeup on to make up for his white face it's so creepy got the crazy mouth i know have you seen his son i just yeah googled him.

I have seen his son.

He has the same smile.

So cool.

Because he's in Smile 2, right?

Right.

That's, yeah.

Because somebody, I don't know, somebody posted about him.

I was like, oh, I don't know if I've ever seen him.

Have you seen Christian Slater?

Have I seen him?

I was like, I've seen him?

Yeah.

Like, yes.

But not as the Joker?

I have seen him.

I've seen Christian Slater not as the Joker.

That would be bold to cast him as the Joker.

I was going to say, do you think they ever approached him to do it?

Like, what if you?

Well, you know, Robin Williams

almost got the riddle.

That story is.

I hate that story.

What the.

That, like, they basically leveraged

him against Jim Carrey.

Like, so that

he didn't get to have the part.

It was just kind of a fucked up.

I mean, you probably describe it better.

They were like, hey, Jim Carrey, Robin Williams is going to do this.

Yeah, so you should take it, basically, or whatever.

So, yeah, he stole it from him.

But he didn't.

He's really losing the store like that.

That's a good thing.

From Williams is willing to do it.

He's just going to Robin Williams.

Yeah, then he was sad that he didn't get to do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know.

But I think we can all all agree, Jim Carrey's performance as the Riddler.

We think about it all the time.

And he would, well, he was also, I feel like, that must have just been that he was like such the height of his fame right then.

So that he was.

Yeah, he was.

I cannot sanction your buffoonery.

I love that story.

I just saw him telling that on Instagram.

Who are you talking about?

Oh, yeah.

Al Gorzeki.

He came up to him at a restaurant and sat down.

And what's his name?

I'm so excited to do this film.

Tommy Jones was like not into it.

I cannot say that.

I cannot sanction your buffoonery.

That's like something that would sit on the Senate floor when they would beat each other with the canes.

Yes.

They should bring that back.

100%.

Oh, wait.

So here's the King Tut related.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

So I'm backstage waiting to go on.

You're nervous.

You're pacing.

You're freaking out.

I have a long time before I have to go on, as does

my castmate, Janet Varney.

We're both backstage.

Who else was there, by the way?

Was Padgett there?

Padgett was not there.

Oh, no.

But you got Mark Evan Jackson.

You got

Autumn Reeser.

You got Padgett, of course, from

Busy Phillips.

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.

That's correct.

Was she in that?

Yes.

What did she play in that?

Some spy or something.

To be honest, I did not notice her in the film.

This is recently on Scott Hasn't Scene, so I did not notice her in the film and then was surprised to see her in the credits.

You watched that movie for Scott Hasn't Scene?

Why, yes, Paul.

Feel free to listen to the episode.

It is two hours and 20 minutes long.

Would it surprise you to learn Connor Ratliff is involved?

With Rocky and Bullwinkle?

Oh, you mean that?

We're selecting that film.

So we're backstage, and

I was reminded of this as I often am out of nowhere.

And I turned to her and I said, Do you remember when they found that like mummy throat and they reconstructed it?

Oh my God, I love that video.

so we could know what a mummy sounded like.

And then when they it was like, when they finally did, it sounded like,

all right,

and then we laughed until we had tears in our eyes.

Yeah,

that was really funny.

It was one of the greatest things in the room.

Because the way they're and the build-up to it, like scientists constructed this model after 14 years working on away,

it's so good.

But it wasn't a joke.

It's no, it wasn't.

They were This is what it must have sounded like.

And they had to play it off like, this is fascinating.

Yeah.

But they were saying if a mummy could talk, this is what he sounded like.

This is what it sounds like or whatever.

Well, since you're saying these sounded like that, I think the idea was we're going to push some air through this so we can hear, you know, this mummy's voice.

That's so stupid.

Sometimes they're really not enough.

That's my question, though.

Is it, hey, we're doing this because this is what people thousands of years ago sounded like?

Or they just wanted to hear what a mummy would sound like.

They wanted to hear what if they, I believe, if memory serves, they had this actual hunk of person, and they said, We're gonna, we're gonna make it talk.

So, it's not like reconstructing what people because that then you're getting into the Neanderthal guy.

One, two, three.

That guy who is incredible.

Voice by recreating his mouth and vocal cords with a 3D printer.

It allowed them to produce a single sound.

So, one more time.

If they remake the mummy movies,

mimic Nessie Amun's voice by recreating his mouth and vocal cords with a 3D printer.

It allowed them to produce a single sound.

Why is he getting hit in the star plebs says?

Scream!

Oh, I love it.

Oh, it's so

funny.

We were fucking, we were crying, crying, laughing.

Yeah, no, that's really funny.

Oh, Jesus H.

I have a, by the way, for your previous story.

Oh, one of your famous, by the ways.

By the way,

I was once at San Diego Comic-Con with a friend who Bill W.

Yeah, Bill W.

Who has a gap in their teeth.

And someone

came up to us and said,

I like your costume to them.

And not wearing anything, even approaching cosplay.

And he goes, what?

And they go, Alfred E.

Newman, and walks away.

What?

They said it like that?

Yeah.

It was so funny.

So I'm just trying to make fun of the fact that that person had a gap in their teeth.

That's true.

Yeah.

That's rude.

That's insane.

That's not the Comic-Con spirit.

No.

That's a lot of extra

Comic-Con is a wonderful way to insult somebody.

Comic-Con or at least what Comic-Con used to be was a wonderful grouping of people who from all across the country who found common interests and who formed these wonderful little cliques of, wow, we all like this together and friendships that have lasted lifetimes.

They're still a mean person mixed into a large person.

People invented new ways to sweat.

that they didn't know existed before.

And they're like, what if I put this material on?

It makes sense.

I'll tell you about the one time, you know, the public bathrooms at Comic-Con are

kind of bad.

What are they not in a building?

They're in the convention center.

Okay.

I've been there, but

I wasn't able to spend much time in the bathroom.

I want to clear my calendar for a while.

I don't even really have a strong memory of what the environment was.

There's usually lines

to get into them.

And I went into one

and

was waiting for the sit-down stall.

And there was a line.

Don't tell us more about that, please.

But there was a line.

And I finally got up to the front person of the line and someone came out of the stall and looked at me so embarrassed and like hurriedly washed his hands and went out of there.

And I just casually went into the stall and it was filled with shit

and so gross that I did, I did essentially, you know, that Homer meme where he walks into the thing and then turns around and does a 180.

It's Grandpa Simpson.

Sorry, Grandpa Simpson.

I thought it was Homer when he walked.

No, you're right.

It's Grandpa Simpson.

Oh, that's the Homer where he just backs up and this is Grandpa Simpson comes into a room and then

exact same thing and then dry heaved into the sink next door to him when I went to the next one.

Nice to him.

Yes.

That's insane.

He didn't wash his hands fast enough.

Yeah, I just went

and then went,

that makes me want to throw.

Why wouldn't he flush the fucking toothpaste?

Because maybe it was broken.

It was so much?

Because he was broken.

Oh, God.

I mean, I feel bad for him.

I was

for me.

Who do you feel worse for?

The guy story.

I went to the bathroom at C2E2, and I was washing my hands.

The guy, a young man next to me said, as we were both washing our hands, hey, can I I get a picture with you?

No.

And then he said, outside, of course.

Oh, that's nice.

Yes, okay.

That's nice.

And then his dad took the picture and he's like, but please don't zip up.

He said, the dad was Irish.

He's like, Jay's yesterday to take a picture

in the bathroom.

And I said, he did say, he did specify outside.

He's like, oh, thank God for this.

I think these types of interactions are so prone for.

Am I saying that correctly?

No.

What am I I saying?

Lying down for?

Prone to?

Prone to.

Prone to.

Prone to phone who.

Prone to home to.

They're prone to, later on, you know, it's so easy to like sit there going, like, oh, was this awkward?

Was this, oh, I feel like I, you know, it's like, let's,

let's make it easy.

That sounds like a wonderful interaction, is what I'm trying to say.

It was, yeah, he was a nice young guy.

I was very touched by how many people in costume approached me, like that recognized me.

It was very sweet.

You're one of them.

You were dressed up as whoever you were dressed up as.

I still want to know who that is.

Yes.

And if you have.

You're making her laugh so hard.

If you have an idea, please don't tell me.

Honestly, yeah, yeah.

That's true.

Can we get rid of just you look like this guy posts for all time?

Honestly, go ahead and do it.

Just don't include me.

I don't get anything out of it.

Yeah, I really only want to.

But say, of course, go ahead, Paul.

Like Paul F.

Tomkins.

If the person,

like I've said it to, here, the reason I'm saying this, I've said that to two women in the past couple of weeks, that they look like somebody.

But were they hot as they were?

Like they're beautiful celebrities, and they do look like that.

And I'm like, there's nothing that's not going to make you feel bad.

No.

You have like an Emily Radikowski in the entourage movie kind of vibe.

Someone looks like.

Did she act in that film?

Bring somebody back up.

Haley Joel was like trying to...

Trying to bone her in that movie.

We made fun of it on the Bang Bang TV show.

That was his, in our entourage.

That was his supplier.

I have not seen the film.

You haven't seen the film?

No.

Yeah.

You didn't entrepreneur.

Did you say Rachel McAdams?

My friend.

I realized my friend looks like her.

Right.

I like who I've been friends with for years, but I was like, oh my God, I just, that's who it is.

And she's like, someone has, she has been approached.

People think that she is her on the street, even though she's like much taller than her.

Do you mind introducing us?

Creep ahead.

Creep?

It's not a creepy thing?

No.

No, I just want to meet a little bit.

I'm just going to be a little.

I just look at to meet people.

She sounds really great.

She sounds like an interesting person.

Gave no details about her.

You said she's your friend.

Sure.

That makes me like her.

Sure.

There was a young lady that came up to me dressed like

she had.

She was like a sort of silver blue elf.

Silver blue.

Elf.

Although wearing like kind of regular clothes.

So I'm trying to figure out like.

Wait, what does she look like?

Her face was like a silvery blue, okay, pointed ears.

Okay.

And, but then she's just wearing like a t-shirt and jeans or whatever.

Yeah.

So I don't know if that's a specific character.

Or that's just

fine makeup.

Yes.

Yeah.

But she came up to me and it's

it was really good makeup too.

And, you know, we, she said she just wanted to say hi.

She didn't ask for a picture or anything.

And, um,

and then later she tagged me on Instagram

with a picture of herself as this elf creature and said,

you know, something like, not me crying because I met Paul F.

Talk.

Oh, not me as an elf crying because I met.

I like the fact that she

had her interaction with you and then turned her A and turned away and just started singing.

She turned her A.

She turned her A around and said, Look at this.

So watch this walk away.

I don't have to leave.

I don't even, you take a picture.

I don't need one of you.

Well, if you feel like getting your camera out,

it was very nice, though.

I do miss going to the Comic-Cons.

I mean, San Diego just got to be too.

Nothing ever changed in it for the past 10 years, I feel like.

I used to love the hunt of trying to track down things that you wanted to buy that before online

shopping made everything so easy.

You know what I mean?

I used to love that aspect of it, but now it's like, I don't know.

All your bobbleheads.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How do you you like them all, by the way?

I mean, do you tap them all every day?

Yeah, yeah, because they're all going right now.

Yeah.

I mean, this must be thundering earthquake.

Come over here.

Oh, there was that earthquake announcement yesterday.

I missed it completely.

We were receiving the earthquake.

I didn't see it.

I was in the middle of it, and none of us felt it.

No, but they don't always send an alert.

So I was like, how did they?

We got an alert.

No, I know.

I mean, they sent the alert, but I'm saying, oh, shit, an alert.

Usually, even if I feel it, I don't always get an alert.

Yet, that one I didn't feel an idea.

I like a

didn't get an alert either.

I like a two-uh notification system.

I like an alert.

I like feeling it.

Yeah, I like the earth notifying you.

I'm notifying you and you hitting the ground.

Yeah.

All right, let's take a break.

We'll be right back.

Okay.

I'm Hussin Minhaj, and I have been lying to you.

I only pretended to be a comedian so I could trick important people into coming on my podcast, Hussin Minhaj doesn't know, to ask them the tough questions that real journalists are way too afraid to ask.

People like Senator Elizabeth Warren.

Is America too dumb for democracy?

Outrageous.

Parenting expert Dr.

Becky.

How do you skip consequences without raising a psychopath?

It's a good question.

Listen to Hussa Minhaj Doesn't Know from Lemonata Media, wherever you get your podcasts.

And we're back.

And it's

don't do it.

I have this.

I got a telegram.

You better not.

And it has a word that I'm unfamiliar with.

Oh, my God.

S-T-O-P.

Does anyone know what that is?

I don't get it.

Yeah, I don't get it either.

That's what I mean.

We're not going to be able to solve that.

No, it's too bad.

Oh, here's another word, though.

Three turn.

Oh.

What is it?

So it's like a boostero.

Yeah, no, Lauren, you're right.

Oh, yeah.

That's exactly what it's like.

Okay, yeah.

Well, it's time to play one.

So So you know that it's something.

No, I know a boostero, yeah.

Well, you know how to play a boostero.

Because the telegram just says it's three-tra-time stop.

But do you know the muffin man?

The muffin man?

The muffin man.

Do you know the muffin man?

What's that song about?

He's been three years dead.

You're quoting John Lithgow in Shrek.

Do you know the Muffin Man?

To bring this full circle, John Lithgow.

Was he the mean little guy?

Mm-hmm.

Good for him.

Based on Michael Eisner.

Is there anything less funny than Inside Hollywood jokes?

I'm trying to think.

Nope.

This show?

You know what?

You got me.

All right, we're going to play something called Dumb Over Under.

We played this a few times.

Yes.

It was submitted by Michael Bliss.

Read out them rules.

A.k.a.

Michael Ignorance.

Michael, how do you like that?

I think we mentioned that last time we played that.

Yeah, Ignorance is.

Oh, how could you not?

Michael's middle name is Ignorance Is.

Ignorances.

Ignorances.

You and your

Michael Bliss.

All right, so give us the...

We've played this two ways, and I don't know which way is best.

Let's play it Mike's Way.

Sure.

Tomatoes, lettuce,

oil, vinegar.

It is Michael Bliss.

Ooh.

So we are playing it Mike's Way, whether we like it or not.

That's cool.

What's interesting is when we play it one way, I think people complain, and when we play it the other way, people complain.

Oh, how interesting.

It's like you can't please people.

Yeah.

It's almost like that.

But I mean.

Let's play it the way we like to play it.

Well, that's my question to you.

The two ways we've played it are one person comes up with a question.

Like this, we were reminded to play this because of our James Bond conversation earlier, where it was like, hey, how many James Bond movies are there?

Right.

And then the two people guess, and whoever is closest gets a point.

But the question is, you know, I'm saying that's one

way we play it.

Go ahead, go ahead.

The other way we play it is

two people come up with a question to ask person three,

and

then person three locks in the answer, and then persons one and two play over, under.

Like,

I think

they are

over.

There are over this many movies.

I feel that they are over, under.

So, meaning, meaning,

but with what person three thinks is the answer.

I don't know whether person three reveals the answer.

That's the part that's not in this.

It says person three locks in their answer before any other discussion occurs.

They cannot alter their answer.

Persons one and two now play over-under with what they think person three thinks is the answer, right?

So, does person has person?

No, yeah, person three is not revealed.

This is what's so confusing.

This is not, I mean, Michael ignorance.

Can you just call us right now and just tell us?

When we first played it,

I feel like

we made guesses.

And I think this is the exact conversation that we had last night.

No, of course it is.

These directions are not clear.

Because we, but I, but I'm trying to remember.

I think that when we first played it, we did have access to the real thing.

First, we guess.

Yes, I think how many lakes there are.

Say I'm the person.

Yeah.

You guys come up with the question of how many lakes there are, and you look up the answer.

I write down my guess and I keep it secret.

Then you guess whether you think I am over or under based on you know the correct answer.

Right.

Right.

And then I reveal, and whoever is right about being over or under gets a point.

Yes.

Let's try it that way because I don't think that I.

I think also, who cares about the points?

I think it's just fun to guess.

That's true.

That's weird.

And we're guessing weird things.

Okay.

Okay.

So do you want to owe me a comp with a thing?

Yes.

And I think it's share it between the two of you.

Yeah, share it.

What do you mean, share it?

Meaning you both know the answer and I don't, and I'm the one guessing.

We each take a turn guessing.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm going to say the question or the.

And it has to be a number question.

Right.

How many

episodes of the Brady Bunch are there?

Okay.

Great.

And then share that information between the two.

So I'll look that up.

Oops, sorry.

And I'm going to write down my guess of how many episodes of the Brady Bunch are there.

And then I will not reveal that, and you will guess whether I am over or under.

I'm okay if you never reveal it.

Yeah.

Because that's your business.

So am I.

Honestly, like what I think of the Brady Bunch.

I'm going to show Paul.

Don't look.

Okay.

Wow.

I am.

I have my number locked in.

All right.

Now, knowing what you know about about me, am I over?

And what you know about the correct answer: am I over or under?

I think you're going to be going to be.

I think you're going to be under.

I think you're going to be over.

Interesting.

Can you reveal how many episodes of the Brady Bunch are there?

No, you reveal first, I think, right?

Yes.

Okay.

It's more fun if you reveal first.

I've guessed 83.

I was right.

The answer is 117.

They made it to syndication, of course.

I was the original residuals.

The original residuals.

That burns me up.

Like the world.

Seven more than the comedy bang bang terrorists.

It burns me up.

Yeah.

So.

Well, you can go back and make seven more.

Make eight more.

I'd like to.

Yeah.

Make eight more to beat them.

You sure we don't want to do points?

I do want to do.

Yeah, no, let's do points.

Okay.

I got a point.

All right, Lauren, you got a point.

All right, now we'll go clockwise.

So I will come up with a question and share the answer with Paul.

Okay.

I'm Paul.

I'm going to say

how many.

Okay, this has got to be something we can also look up.

I'm going to say, how many, okay, how many issues

of

detective comics starring the aforementioned Batman

are there?

Detective comics.

This is where Batman premiered.

starring Batman.

Is it still going?

Yes, it is.

Wow.

To this day.

Okay, that's interesting.

For

me.

Yeah.

And

they never got rid of him.

How many comic books does Batman have now?

Probably

like on the rag.

Yeah.

Monthly,

regularly, I think

three

at least.

And what about on the rag?

On the rag, that's one a month.

What about on the rug?

That's when he makes it accident duty.

He does.

he's a bat he can't control it guano he makes guano on the

on the rug i made guano on the rug

so

cheese cheesy to say that i will i will yeah

um okay i'm gonna say so you're saying how many comics

how many issues of detective comics which is where batman debuted are and considers his home he loves it there i have a guess well I'm going to share the information

with Paul.

Have you written down your guess?

Oh, no.

Well, do that.

Okay.

Do that shit.

Do that shit.

Do that shit.

Do that shit.

Do that shit.

Do that shit.

All right.

I am going to.

Should I text it to you, Paul?

You can just show me if you want.

Okay.

It's on the laptop.

Dang.

I don't think you should say damn.

I said Mu Dang.

Mu Dang.

Great.

What about him?

Or her.

Why isn't that?

Or them.

Why?

Do you think she's met Batman in the comics?

I hope so.

All right.

So

now

we are going to guess over or under basing based on what we know about Lauren.

Mu Dang.

This is too dangerous for you.

And I'm going to guess first.

I'm going to say she is under.

I'm gonna say she's over.

Okay, my answer is 850.

Oh,

how many?

1,097.

Not a bad guess.

Not bad.

But I was under.

Yeah, you were under.

I get a point.

I don't.

All right, Paul.

You're you now.

All the points, Nazi says no points for you.

You now come up with a question.

Is this right?

No, I'm supposed to guess now.

You're supposed to guess, yeah.

So,

so I shouldn't have come up with that question.

What?

No, I'll share one.

Yeah, oh, whatever, who cares?

Yeah, whatever.

We fucked ourselves.

Truly,

honestly, it doesn't matter.

Okay, can we apologize to the listeners?

We fucked up.

Ow, the going around in a I got punished.

No, you hit your knee.

Yeah,

okay.

Um,

okay, the question is:

How many

have we done this before?

How many teams are in the NBA?

I don't think we've done that.

I don't think we've done that.

Okay.

Because I certainly don't know.

Okay.

So I'm going to have to.

Have you written down your guess?

No, I haven't.

I'm thinking about it.

Let us know whenever your thought process ends.

I will.

All right.

I think I have a guess.

All right.

Do you want to

write so?

I guess we, yeah, it doesn't, you don't have to write it it down.

Why do you have to write it down?

Yeah, exactly.

I can't cheat.

Right.

You can't because you reveal it.

Yeah, you release.

Okay.

I'm going to say Paul is going to go over.

I'm guessing over as well.

Paul, what is your guess?

35.

Whoa, it's 30.

Is it really?

Yeah.

Wow.

That's a good guess.

I think I would have said way more.

I don't think I have.

But then at the same time, you go, how many teams are there?

When I first thought about it, I thought way more.

And I was like, no, it's not like

every single state has a basketball.

Well, the NFL is like 32 or something like that.

So it stands a reason it would be around there.

So 35, I thought, was a really good shit.

It's a shame.

Every state should have a team.

They should.

Even Road.

And then somewhat suck.

They're the biggest little state in the Union.

And I think they should be proportionate to the amount of people in the state, like the players on the team.

Is there anything for the east?

So Texas, there should be like 80 people on the team,

all on every street at the same time.

Yes.

Is there anything, any team representing the east side besides Boston, like up in that area of uh basketball, yeah,

Boston, Celtics, Celtics,

but like there's like nothing for all those little states, so certainly like New England, like New England, yeah, like the New England.

Oh, that's well that's like Maine doesn't have a basketball team, yeah, yeah.

Well, it's because

those little states can't afford the big uh arenas because I think an arena, like a basketball arena, is as big as Rhode Island.

You gotta have an arena,

a basketball arena is as big as Rhode Island, yeah.

Having just been in Providence, I think that's true.

The population of Rhode Island could comfortably sleep in the

crypto.com arena.

All right, so now I'm going to come up with a question for

I know, I know, but that's because we fucked up.

I'm going to come up with a question for Lauren

and share the information.

Why don't I come up with a question for you?

Because now we're now we've reset to back to where it needs to be.

But it does make sense if he does it.

But it won't, yeah.

Oh, I don't know.

sorry,

you do it, it's gonna be very hard to keep track of if we do it that way.

Okay, um, I'm scared.

How, speaking of populations,

what is the population of Texas?

This is for me, this is for Paul.

Oh, shit, right?

No, did you just guess?

Yes, I did.

No, it's for Lauren.

I said it's for Lauren.

Yeah, this is for Lauren.

I'm going to.

Can you imagine listening to this show?

No.

Yeah, I can.

Okay.

Have you guessed?

What was the question again?

Population of Texas.

God,

this is going to be one where everyone thinks I'm crazy.

Like when I guess there were like two lakes or something, and everyone's like, there's five million lakes.

That was a classic episode.

That was a classic episode.

That was a classic episode.

How many people live in Texas?

Yep.

Jesus Christ.

I have no fucking clue.

I'm going to say a crazy number.

Wait, wait, don't, don't say it out loud.

Okay.

Okay.

No, I'm not going to say a crazy number.

I'm going to say the correct number.

Hold on.

Let me think.

Okay.

But keep it to yourself.

Strategy.

Okay, fine.

Got it.

You got it?

Okay.

I'm going to share it with Paul.

Okay.

I'm going to guess under.

I'm going to guess under as well.

60 million.

God damn it.

Wow.

What is it?

31.29 million.

Oh, I guess we have to.

I almost said over, and I was like, well, I've been wrong every time.

Yeah.

All right.

God, you guys were so disappointed.

All right, Paul, it's your time to shine.

I'm also disappointed.

There's that many people in Texas.

I mean, there's a lot.

It's your time to shine.

Okay.

You come up with a question for me.

Okay.

All right.

Why don't you guys talk?

Because I'm trying to look this out.

Okay.

Hi, Lauren.

How are you?

I'm well.

How are you?

I'm doing fine.

Well, we're out of things to say, Paul.

We kind of covered everything.

I caught up on everything I needed to know.

Yep.

When was the last time you were on a swing?

That's a good question, wasn't it?

Not sex swing.

Oh, that changes my answer.

I'm trying to think if I was on one with Emmy.

Because it feels recent.

Yeah.

So it must have been like in the last year.

Cool.

What about you?

Just a couple days ago.

A couple days ago.

But I was getting like sick trying to pump.

You know, you pump and you go up and down.

You were pumping wow.

I was pumping.

And I

just felt nauseous from the, from the, I, you know, it's this weird thing that I've gotten over the past, like in recent years, where, like, for example, if I throw like laundry down the stairs or like something down the stairs that is going to land,

I get like a pit in my stomach, like before it lands.

Like, like, I feel almost like I'm not going to, I don't, I feel something about it flying in the air.

And then I feel this when I'm on a swing, that I'm in the air.

And I'm like, oh, it gives me a lot of things.

Because are you imagining you're the laundry and you're falling?

I think there's part of that, like it's like sort of like a weird, like I'm falling.

Or like you, the, the, the,

the sort of physics of you throwing it, you might actually.

I think it's just more like the way that it's flying in the air and then it's going to land.

Something about it makes me feel like just a pit in my stomach.

It must be something.

I don't know what it is.

Are you afraid of heights at all?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah.

Can we please get on with this?

this?

Oh, you're suddenly right.

All right.

Wait, what was the question?

He hasn't come.

Here's the question.

Okay.

Oh, he hasn't come.

How many astronauts have walked on the moon?

And the question is for Scott.

Yes.

Okay, show me the answer.

Walked on the moon.

Okay.

All right.

I

have my number.

I think he's going to say under.

Hold on a second.

I just want to make sure.

Yeah, because there was something specific about that that makes you wonder if there was something else.

Also, don't ask AI.

I'm not asking AI.

Not walked on the moon, but been to the moon.

Been to the moon.

Oh, that would be different because

some of them don't.

I just want to make sure, yeah.

Okay.

You would think everybody would get a turn.

Oh, they don't want to go out.

Come on.

So the question is, been to or walked on?

Been to.

And the same answer that you showed me?

Yes.

Okay.

Okay.

Then I'm going to ask more.

Because I think for every person who's walked on the moon, there's like 102.

There's one or two who go up and go, I'm good.

So I'm going to guess,

okay, I have my number.

Okay.

And Lauren, you've seen the answer.

Under?

You're going to say.

I mean, I'm sorry, you're going to go over.

I'm going to go over.

I think you're going to go under.

Okay, my guess is 63.

Whoa, it's 12.

Only 12 people have been to the moon?

They kind of stopped doing it, didn't they?

They kind of were like, yeah, we saw it.

It was a very brief period.

And then we were going to do it again.

And then we didn't do it.

It's been

66 years.

Why don't people go up there like every other day?

Yeah,

I really don't know.

I haven't guessed that.

I wonder that.

I said you would say over.

So Paul gets a point.

Yeah, you said under.

You guessed 63.

Oh, sorry.

You said under?

Yeah, I did say under.

So Lauren gets a point.

Yes.

Wait.

Did I say under?

You did

or you said who knows or i said i don't know what i said now paul gets a point who cares

points don't matter points don't matter okay so now lauren you come up with a

question for paul okay let me see if this is a google-able question okay because i just had a thought hi how are you doing

i'm fine good to hear How are you?

I'm well.

Thank you for asking.

When's the last time you were on a swing?

Well, it's been quite some time i i don't think i can even recall perhaps 2002 hmm what happened in 2002 oh yes

how many gallons

of water does a llama or alpaca

drink in a day

how many gallons how many gallons okay This is cool.

And then who's guessing?

Paul is.

So I guess I'll show you.

You need to see this number.

Well, we'll say llamas because they have different answers.

So

how many gallons of water do llamas drink in a day?

And the answer is.

Gotcha.

Paul, do you have your?

You have your answer.

Okay.

I am.

Okay, Lauren, you guess first.

No, I think he's going to go over.

I think he's going to go over.

What is your answer?

Two.

You're correct.

You're actually.

Because I was like, I don't think they're famous for drinking a lot of water.

And aren't they sort of related to camels and stuff?

What are they famous?

Are they also dramataries?

What are they famous for?

Like having two L's to start off the.

That's the most famous thing I can think of.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Alpacas, of course, sweaters.

Yeah.

You get a nice alpaca sweater.

Yes.

Okay.

One more round.

And this is me coming up with a question for Lauren.

Okay.

Ow.

Why do I keep doing that?

There's like a thing that juts out there.

Yeah,

can I say this about your dining table upstairs?

Yeah.

When we played the Traders game,

I noticed that the legs sort of have a weird curve to them where there's a point

right where you want to put your knee a lot.

I didn't notice that.

Oh, believe me.

Believe me,

my knees,

my neck, my back, my pussy, and my crack.

They're all aware of that.

They're all aware of this.

It's an interesting design.

It is interesting, isn't it?

It's quite of interest to me.

It's interesting.

How many

roads must a man go down?

How many countries are in Africa?

I think we've done something.

Maybe we've done that.

Do something else.

How many countries aren't in Africa?

That's actually interesting.

I'd like to know the number.

Okay, how many countries are in the world?

Oh,

God.

Oh, man.

Wow.

Actually,

as I've said before, we did study this during the pandemic and we did try to learn all the countries.

That's right.

That's right.

All right.

I wish I'd done one fucking thing during the pandemic.

I know.

Honestly, I had memorized

sex script.

I memorized for all the states.

You wrote a sex script?

A sex script.

Yeah, it's about my sex swing that I'm currently on.

That's really good.

All I did was drink wine.

That was my pandemic.

I know.

Well, I gave up.

Don't worry.

I gave up on like every other thing I was trying to do.

That was the one that we kind of just got into over the years.

You did one thing.

I did zero zero things.

Yeah.

So I could have used that time for so many, so many.

Oh,

I have a guess.

What's that?

What did you end up doing, though?

Getting drunk every day.

I mean, that's kind of like, you know, we're on this rat race,

you know, where, like, oh, we're doing all this stuff, and it's so hard to fit things in our schedule.

It was nice to take a year off.

Nice to take a year off just to devote to damaging my body.

I'm going between two numbers.

Okay, but don't say them out loud.

Remember.

Please don't.

I'm going to share this information.

and

let us know when you have your number, but don't say it out loud.

I guess I'm just going to stick with my first thought.

First thought, best thought.

All right.

I'm going to say she is over.

I'm going to say that too.

What is your number?

86.

Wow.

I'm wrong.

Is it 115?

It's 195.

Shit.

I forgot that I immediately put out of my mind that you

you actually had tried to learn this

by quarantine so you would have a more informed guess.

But it was still not informed enough.

I was still a hundred under.

I would have guessed more.

I would have guessed more.

I was guessing

three million.

Yeah, I know, exactly.

Oh, okay.

Like everything goes.

Oh, so you thought my guess was still reasonable because it was like not, it was not a three million.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was going like, okay, wait, let me think.

Like, America's pretty big, and that's one of Australia.

Yeah, You know, and then I was going, so then it's a lot of little ones in these places.

Africa, by the way, has 54, which I

would have said more probably there, too.

Yeah, 115 was my better guess, but 100, I was 195.

I want to remember this: 195.

195.

Crazy.

Well, Paul, I don't think you got a point.

Nope.

I got two.

Lauren got three.

Supposedly.

I guess I won.

Yeah.

I guess you did.

I guess that's how the cookie crumbled.

I guess.

that's our episode, if you can believe it.

Paul, are you anywhere in the world?

Let me tell you exactly when this comes out.

Where in the world?

World is Carmen Sandiango.

We are

God.

I wish I knew.

Oh, no.

Okay.

This is May 22.

Oh, May 22.

I'm at home, baby.

I had a wonderful run

at the beginning of the month, and then I'm gearing up to go to Fairfield, Connecticut, Westerly, Rhode Island, Homer, New York, Albany, New York, Portland, Oregon, Seattle, and Vancouver.

Wow.

Yeah.

And people can get information about that at PaulFTomkins.com.

PaulF.com.

Paulftomkins.com.

Paul Comfinkins.

PaulFTomkins.com slash Variah Torpia.

You'll see all the tickets there.

Great.

I don't have anything I want to tell you about right now.

I want it to be a secret and that you just figure out.

You're not going to jump out and surprise us, though, right?

I might.

Shit.

It might be part of the surprise.

Okay.

I just have

still the astonishing Spider-Man comes out every week on Marvel Unlimited.

It still does.

And no one can deny that.

No.

We're not trying to trick you.

If you want to hear us answer your voicemails, first of all, you can leave them where?

At a website, I guess, not just any website.

The famous website, hagclaims8.com.

Oh, right.com.

Yeah.

And we'll answer them every other week

on our three meme episodes, which come out on Lemon Auto Premium and at CBB World.

And we finally updated the

description to say every other week them Threedom Boys answer your question.

Wow.

I can't believe it's been wrong every

week if you've...

If you want.

You can just re-listen to whatever you want.

How you listen to them, that's your business.

But

we don't answer them every week.

Yeah, exactly.

And if you would like to send us a three-chir, you can write to us at threedomusa at gmail.com.

Follow us on socials at FreedomUSA.

Emails.

Emails.

No.

I don't know how to log in.

We go right in the email track.

Yeah, I don't know how to log in.

Are you logging in?

I'm not logging in, and we have filtered it so that it does go directly to trash.

So

if you want to get anything off your chest, that's the place to do it.

We'll never hear about it.

Do you want to write an angry letter to someone in your life?

Yep.

We'll

blow off that seed.

That's a great idea.

Send it right to our trash.

Yeah.

All right.

We'll be back next week.

Until then, goodbye.

Bye, bye, bye.

Hey, it's Lena Waith.

Legacy Talk is my love letter to black storytellers, artists who've changed the game and paved the way for so many of us.

This season, I'm sitting down with icons like Felicia Rashad, Loretta Devine, Ava Duvernay, and more.

We're talking about their journeys, their creative process, and the legacies they're building every single day.

Come be a part of the conversation.

Season two drops July 29th.

Listen to Legacy Talk wherever you get your podcast or watch us on YouTube.

Our healthcare system is broken in so many ways.

We have a healthcare system that's supposed to be taking care of people that is making it literally more difficult for people to put food on the table.

So this season, we'll dive into the challenges headfirst while also thinking about how we can find a better way because we all deserve better.

Uncared for Season 3 from Lemonada Media, available August 6th, wherever you get your podcasts.