I Turn On CHAPPiE Tonight, On CHAPPiE Tonight!

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I'll see you in your dreams.

Hey, it's me, Steve Burns, and I'm so glad you're here because you and I go way back, right?

Yeah.

And look at us now.

Like, we're all grown up.

We've got this new podcast where we talk about all this grown-up stuff, and there's special guests like Jamie Lee Curtis and Bill Nye.

But for the most part, it's about you.

I mean, it's always been about you.

From Lemonata Media, a live with Steve Burns is coming September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts, or you can watch every episode on YouTube.

Freedom.

Freedom!

All

freedom!

Join me in the thing.

Thank you.

How's everybody doing today?

Welcome.

How's everybody doing today?

Life!

Welcome to life!

Welcome to life, everybody.

If you just were born

on Earth,

what a bummer.

Go back in.

What, hell?

You think everyone comes from hell?

Wait, I think that or you think that?

I think you think that, certainly.

Yeah, I think we start out in hell.

Really?

We get to earth.

Really?

And then we go to heaven.

Great.

So it's just a

up F escalator.

Control F

collater.

It's an all-F collator.

I'm so tired.

I slept horribly.

Why?

What happened, Paul?

Anxiety.

Anxiety.

It's been a while since I've had my sleep disrupted disrupted in such a manner, but really.

Was it about a specific issue?

Well, I'm getting ready to go on tour, and I have to cross all my T's and dot all my I's.

Do you want a mini massage from the likes of me?

No.

When he says mini massage.

I don't even want a maxi massage from you.

If you guys started having a very physical relationship,

what is this, white lotus?

I just, I'm a pleaser.

Yeah, that's all.

That's all.

Let's never talk about it again.

Yep.

I am Paul.

I am Lauren.

I am Scott.

Freedom.

This is, in fact, freedom.

If you thought you were clicking on something else, I don't know what to say.

What could people have been clicking on?

And they wound up here.

Look, you're here because you clicked on something.

And you either clicked on the right thing or the wrong thing.

And sometimes you have a clicking problem that people want to talk to you about.

Yeah, and your job.

I'm actually here to tell you.

You have a clicking in your job.

I love clicking things.

You got to.

no matter what it is

i love to click yeah i love to click now you know we say snap our fingers but in the uk they say click your fingers

click your fingers click your fingers that's better they're better all around i like snap better i like snap better too well what i mean click

the fuck is with

just any way the wind blows snap crackle pop pop your fingers so what would it be

crackle your fingers click click Click crunchy.

Click makes more sense though, right?

Like snap.

I guess a snap of like, whoops.

You often come back to whipping.

Yes, you do a lot.

It's like one of your main sound effects.

Come over here.

Can't your whip reach me from there?

Or is it very small?

It's a very tiny.

It's a little tiny whip.

It's like my tiny violin.

And like your tiny massage.

That's a mini massage.

Massage.

The effects are maximal.

Disgusting.

Fuck.

I can't do this.

How's everyone?

Can't do the show.

How's your week?

What's your schedule?

How's your week?

My week.

It's been happening.

Okay,

it's been very busy.

I've been running around a lot, and

it's catching up to me.

Do you feel stressed about like you're going to forget something for the tour?

Oh, I just bake that in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're going to forget something.

Yeah.

You ever been running around?

Did you claim I didn't?

What if I turned this into a relay race?

Yeah, he was.

And and i won a trophy it's the kind of stuff that he thinks for sure did you ask me if i ever think that yeah

no not once not once have i thought what if i turn this into a relay race like if you turned it into a relay race you gotta have a trophy at the end i have to involve other people sure they have to be on board with this yeah but they're all running around too that's the thing everyone on earth is running around doing things let's turn this into a giant relay race and then we get prizes you're full of ideas today this is wonderful to see brilliant absolutely brilliant who does the prizes Is that part of the relay race?

Somebody's racing to make the prizes and distribute them.

Yeah, that's part.

Someone has an additional errand they have to do to make the prizes.

Why not part of their running around?

No, it should be someone who's already buying presents for something else.

That should be its own running around is

distributing the prizes.

Someone

on whatever day these people...

Hold on a second, Lauren.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I'd love to collaborate with you on this.

If you're someone whose errands of by heaven, I charge thee, thee, speak.

If you're someone whose errands of the day involve buying gifts for somebody, you have to be in charge of getting the prizes for the delay race in your area.

And what constitutes your area are we talking about?

Well, because this is including all

this everyone, right?

So it's your bathing suit area and your neighborhood.

It's good stuff.

It's good stuff.

It's good stuff.

When people say bathing suit area,

is that including like a one-piece, like your stomach?

Yeah.

What the fuck?

What?

It is.

What if someone only wears one piece?

But what's your problem with that?

Like, you're like, so why do you need to know about their bathing suit area?

If it's their stomach or if it's their reality.

Actually, we do not use any euphemisms like that because we heard it's a bad thing.

We don't either.

We use the real words.

The real world.

I don't feel like that's true story.

Euphemism.

Bathing suit area.

Privates, bathing suit area.

Privates.

I like privates.

Yeah.

Aparting for duty.

My privates.

Yeah.

Or like your tea tea nanna poop that you're not going to be.

No, none of that.

Come on.

Just say the word.

You got to say the word, say it clearly so that there is no,

no, you know.

And it's not making it, it doesn't make it like a crazy thing.

We don't want bafflement.

We don't want bafflement.

You know, I'm not going to get into this.

If it's mentionable, it's manageable.

That's why I don't talk about my unmentionables because I can't manage them.

Wear your underpants.

Lauren!

I was shocked.

That's my unmentionables, it is my favorite.

Yeah.

That's really funny.

Yeah.

My unmentionables.

I packed my shirts, my pants, my unmentionables.

People say it's forbidden to say.

I do think that everybody should have a little job that they do.

Like we're talking about the relay rate.

Like every day?

You think like communism, like you want everyone to chip in all the time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

To each according to their needs.

What is it again?

From each according to their ability to each according to their needs.

That's right.

Something.

From each according to their ability to each according to.

That's great.

Right.

You love it.

Let's start doing it.

It's a good idea.

Let's start doing it.

I'm busy today, but I do think that's a good idea.

I feel like very soon we're going to have an opportunity to test this out.

My 401k.

My 401, parentheses, K.

Parentheses.

You can get it right

before you start crying about it.

I just ran a 401k yesterday.

Oh, man.

How'd you place?

I came in 402nd.

Oh, no.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

401.

Okay.

Did you have to run in school around the track and stuff?

Did you have tracks?

Yeah.

Is it too cold in Philly to run around?

Or was it an indoor track?

I know it gets warm there other times of the year.

I know, but you know, like

growing up in California, it was like, run around no matter what.

Sioux.

Run around Sioux.

Exactly.

No matter what time of the year it was, it was like you knew you were going to have to run around the middle.

No, we'd run around in the indoor.

We had an indoor track and an outdoor track.

Yeah, you know, did you really?

But you guys would run around and be like, hey, hey, bum, babe,

hey.

Oh.

Indoor track and an outdoor track.

Man, you must have been rich.

We had a

my public school was so loaded.

How loaded were they?

We had two theaters.

Actually, three.

Two?

Three theaters?

There's a main theater.

There's an upstairs theater, which was smaller, and then there was the little theater, which was very tiny.

Shit, we only had one.

And we were pretty well off.

I mean, we had a planetarium.

What?

Like a telescope?

I took astronomy, which was

so boring.

I mean, I thought we were well off because we had a pool and a baseball field.

We had a pool.

We had a pool.

We had a baseball field.

We had a football field.

We had three baseball fields.

Diamonds.

How many baseball teams did you have?

Three baseball fields.

They were always like trying to.

get against each other?

I don't know if we had a baseball diamond, but we had a football field and we had a basketball court.

We had a football field.

We had a basketball court.

I don't remember if we had a diamond.

I think we had a baseball team.

I almost think

we had a baseball team, but I think they went to other places to do it.

I don't know that we had it.

Maybe we did.

I think we had to go somewhere else for the football games because that's one thing we didn't have.

It's the football field.

Wow, that's a good idea.

We have three baseball fields.

Turn well into a football field.

But you had a football team.

We did have a football team.

Three baseballs.

I don't understand there's three baseballs.

Because the PE is going up, like, you know, you got to be using all of them.

And everybody's playing baseball?

I guess.

I don't know.

Get out there and throw those balls.

Oh, we had racquetball courts, too.

Nice.

Sure.

We had tennis courts.

We did not have tennis courts, I don't think.

My school, my high school, of course, famously does not exist anymore.

What happened?

Well, when you graduated, they said, you know what?

We don't have this.

We're just going to go to this at all.

We're done.

Yeah, we're done.

No more.

We perfected it when Paul came here.

Closed.

Were there no more lack of it?

He was a perfect student.

I would imagine, yeah.

And it was not that big a school.

I always find that fascinating, like neighborhoods that have, like, I guess a lot of people move into neighborhoods because

like they see a lot of kids around the same age or whatever.

But like, it seemed like in my neighborhood, everyone was within one or two years of each other.

I beg your pardon.

Yeah.

You're saying people move to neighborhoods because they look around.

No, there's, but

here's what happens, Darren.

Here's what happens.

Neighborhoods

are starting out.

They're fledgling.

Families move there because they can afford it.

You're a young one.

Why are you?

They all start to grow at the same time.

But then,

for example, what happens with that in some areas?

Then the people get older and the kids move away.

And then the area is all

70-year-old people and there's no kids.

No.

And then we need them to move out.

So there's the house.

Or we have to make those 70-year-olds go back to high school.

Yes.

Jump street style.

Like, never been kissed.

Like, never been kissed.

And now the teachers are young.

So, Paul, were there no more kids in your area anymore?

Is that why they demolished it or a new brand new school was built?

A brand new school was not built.

What?

The school went out of business, I guess.

Went out of business.

How does that happen?

I guess the neighborhood changed.

Well, it's happening here.

I mean, I haven't been there in many years, so I don't know.

That schools are underpopulated.

Really?

Yes.

And yet, population is booming.

I guess I just heard about this.

Birth rate is declining.

When we say schools, do we mean

public schools or private?

Or is that an extra school?

I think it's kind of, I don't know.

I don't know.

But I was just hearing about this.

That

the birth rate is declining.

That the pandemic made a lot of people want to do telework.

School.

And that also

people leave their district and go to other places.

And so then those areas are under

their district.

Stay in your district.

My favorite?

District 9.

I love that.

You know what?

I actually love that movie so much.

When I saw that movie, I was like,

Chappie or whatever?

I did see Chappie.

And I liked Chappie too.

Do you know what?

I want to see Chappie.

I think I like that genre.

Do you have a robot character?

Why do I be a character?

You don't.

You can come on whenever you want.

Is that true?

Yeah.

You still do anything.

You can show me the list.

I will never show you the list.

You have to guess.

What was the, who are the people in Chappie?

I'm the only person who's not gotten to see the list.

Those musicians who were in Chappie who played.

Die Antword.

Yes.

Yeah, yes.

I like their music.

I've got a great idea.

I'm going to cast Die Antword.

For Chappie.

Wow, who can I get?

He's available to be in my major motion picture.

How can I lure Hugh Jackman into this?

Oh, his favorite group.

If you could make Chappie, would you?

If I could make Chappie.

Oh, my God.

Please.

I don't want to do moral connections.

This is the trolley car problem.

If you had the wherewithal to make the movie Chappie, would you do it?

Yeah.

That's what you meant, right?

I would make Chappie.

100%.

Like, say, Chappie did not exist.

No.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

That changes my whole life.

But then a studio comes and says, we're going to give you a $300 million budget to make a movie.

Do you believe?

You get to take the leftover money.

It has to be Chappie.

Do you believe that everything affects everything?

Like, for example, if you didn't watch Chappie, then everything in your life would be a little bit different because time would have moved a little differently.

Every choice that any person makes, and I guess an animal too, creates an alternate universe where you think that.

Where something, something happens.

So I don't know if.

Why do you think that?

So if, like, oh, should I turn on Chappie tonight?

You know, I'll turn on Chappie tonight.

On Chappie tonight.

tonight.

So then you choose not to turn on Chappie.

Something

that happened in Chappie probably affects your behavior down the line.

Right, or yeah, you think I wouldn't have been able to participate in this conversation for you.

Why is his name Chappie?

Because he's like a bitch's chap.

Am I thinking of Wally?

No, but I'm definitely.

There is a Chappie.

Oh, Chappie's the one with.

Yeah, you're not thinking of Wally.

Wally's the picture.

But was it Chap and then hyphen E, or was it just Chappie?

No, it's C-H-A-P-P-I-E.

Yeah, love.

Pick his little nickname.

Chappie.

We love Chappie.

He's a great guy.

We love Chappie, don't we?

Folks.

He's a great guy.

The mascot of Freedom.

Would you agree?

I would.

I would think so.

I think probably a shirt could be made with that.

Chappie, the.

And I could say Chappie, the mascot of Freedom.

A shirt could be made.

Maybe Wouldn't You Agree is on the back?

Yeah.

Do you know what?

Here it is.

Here it is.

It's Chappie.

And he's whispering,

that's Threedom.

Because it's like the meme.

Which meme are we talking about?

Because I know almost every meme, but I may.

I believe this meme started with Chappie.

You believe this meme?

I believe this meme.

I believe this meme.

Believe this meme.

I believe this meme started with Chappie, where it was

a Twitter construct

that would go.

For our new listeners.

No.

Refuse.

New listeners wouldn't know about that.

For our younger listeners who don't know exactly what

You just came here from hell.

I believe it was

watching Chappie

and when Chappie comes on screen leaning over to my date and whispering, that's Chappie.

But let me

double-check.

You saw Chappie with a date?

No, this is the meme, dear.

Okay.

It's been established that I've never seen Chappie and that I desire with all my being to see it.

Would you, though,

say you were going to step out on Jamie?

Jamie.

I can't talk to her.

Say you were going to step out on Jamie.

You could not have sounded older.

I'm going to step out on Jamie.

You were going to play the field.

Would you talk about the camera?

It's not called playing the field when you cheat on your wife.

Well, it depends on what your definition of the field is.

Okay.

But would you go see the app?

Would you go see Poppy?

Oh my God.

Guys, I have news for you.

Oh.

This is urgent Chappie news.

What?

Chappie is spelled

capital C-H-A-P-P lowercase I, uppercase E.

That's good.

Oh, my God.

You guys, that's good.

That's the way to do it.

Get your money for nothing and you're chappy.

Oh.

I'm going to find it out.

One of the worst, actually, that's been done here.

One of the worst.

One of the stretchiest stretches I've seen.

Anywho.

What's going on, Paul?

You're still looking at your phone.

Are you more Chappie dudes?

How are you?

Chappy tweet has been deleted.

No.

Oh, no.

I'll find it.

I'm doing good, Lauren.

I'm doing fine.

Had a playground-filled weekend

for me.

Here it is.

Okay.

Brackets, whispering to date while watching Chappie when Chappie first appears on the screen, and brackets.

That's Chappie.

And that became a thing that people would replace Chappie with other things.

Yeah.

Fine.

But I think it's like Wally.

No one ever did that.

I'm sorry.

That's so close to Chappie.

I'm so sorry.

Do you think Chappie and Wally are

brothers or just friends?

I think what stays in the brackets should be exactly the same.

Watching Chappie when Chappie appears on screen.

That's Wally.

Yeah.

That's funny.

But I think the t-shirt should be Chappie, and he's like whispering.

Whispering to a female chappy?

We don't see, there's no female chappy, or is he on a date with a bear?

I don't know what he's in.

He's on an.

We just see him whispering.

We don't have to see the date.

I'd like to see the date.

I know you would, but that's for your mind's.

I a little bit think.

But he's whispering and he says that's freedom.

What's he whispering into?

We just don't see.

Yeah, we don't see.

Do we see his arm?

Because I'm presuming Chappie's robotic arms.

Does he have arms?

You know what?

Yes, it could be.

We assume his arm is around his date.

Okay.

Is he in a movie theater?

No.

He's in blank space.

Blank space?

Yeah.

He's not in movie theater seats with his back.

Justin Lung and John Hodgman are there.

Okay.

That's fine.

Okay, as long as Justin is in a void.

Okay, great.

Maybe he's on a date with them.

Yeah.

He's got his arms around both of them.

And he says, that's three of them.

But he's talking about them.

The three of them.

No, he's talking about that's up to

the person who's observing.

Well, this is what's so amazing about art, you know, because people people can have different interpretations.

There's just a million ways it could go.

I can think of at least two right now.

Okay, let's list them.

One,

the chappy's talking about us.

And two, chappy's referring to the three of them.

Exactly.

Yeah.

They're almost like an alternate universe version of freedom, in a way.

That's why I thought of that because obviously,

obviously,

you're

John.

Sure.

You're Chappie, and I'm Justin.

Why?

I want to be cool.

You're the tallest.

He's kind of cool, so I get to be him.

I want to be him.

You've got Chappie energy.

I am Chappie.

I haven't seen Chappie.

I walk like Chappie.

I talk like Chappie.

But you just have Chappy.

Baby, I fuck like Chappie.

Did he have sex in the movie?

Well, don't spoil it.

No, don't spoil it.

He didn't.

What do you mean, you don't know?

You saw it.

He didn't.

No, I never saw it.

You never saw it?

No.

Guys, stop.

I love this movie.

He doesn't have sex in it.

Shouldn't they make robots?

If they're going to make robots look like humans, they got to have have sex like humans.

I don't think Chappie really looked like a person.

Well, just from the moment,

I know

there are a lot of people who look like the broad strokes.

The broad strokes.

You know, like when you have one of those little figures that you're drawing.

I mean, I'm going to look them up.

I'm not going to remember them.

How scary would it be if one of those came to life?

That would be pretty bad.

Yeah.

Do you think humans should look more like stick figures?

No.

Why?

Do you?

Yeah.

Why?

Because everyone's like, oh, look at my big, huge muscles and my body, body and I pumped it up and I'm so huge.

Everyone should just be a stick figure.

Yeah.

Just be lines.

Yeah.

What?

And a big circle for a head.

Yeah.

No hair.

Couple dots.

Yep.

Smiley face.

I'll give everyone a smiley face.

Nice.

That you can't change.

Here's what I would like to.

There should be a film festival of horror movies that feature children drawing fucked up things.

Yeah, that's right.

My parent goes like, oh, what are you drawing, honey?

You could do like a month-long festival.

Did you already say this, that movie that's coming out, Sketch?

I forgot.

I wasn't even thinking of that.

I forgot.

I just saw the trailer.

I just saw the trailer as well.

I haven't even heard of it.

Tony Hale.

It's a child.

Oh, no.

A sketch of a monster, and then it comes to life.

One of our Scott hasn't seen guests direct to this.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

There's two moments in the trailer where Tony Hale completes someone's sentence.

And then is the third time he's going to say sandwiches?

He completes someone's sandwiches?

So, this is a sketch movie, like epic movie.

Why did you say that?

It's like from Frozen.

Oh, we complete each other's sandwiches.

We finish each other's sandwiches.

That's what I was going to say.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You said they do?

You never see them do this in the movie, which I thought was a fancy.

You never see them at all.

They don't finish a sandwich together?

No.

They're basically saying how well they get along, and they're like, we finish each other's sandwiches.

That's what I was going to say.

But, you know, because you think they're going to be a little bit more

shared, and yeah, it's a double joke.

But no, they had room for two jokes.

Honestly, though, that's one of the the three jokes is you actually see them finish each other's sandwiches at some point.

Yeah.

Or

they each take a sandwich out of their back pockets while they're dancing and singing.

When we finish each other's sandwiches, I think they pay it off so much later.

So much later, yeah.

I think do it just well, you know, that guy that characterizes it.

Elsa has made these snow monsters.

That character is one of the meanest characters in all of Disney history.

Twitch?

The one who is going to be with.

Oh, it's not the two sisters saying that?

No.

What's his name, Olaf or something?

No, No, Olaf is the snowman.

Don't you want to make him?

I can't remember.

Olaf should have melted, right?

And then it would have been a Shakespearean tragedy.

No, for good.

Oh.

For good.

You know, Olaf.

It should have been a book.

Olaf is a character that I really laugh at, you know, in spite of myself.

In spite of myself, because I think I'm not going to laugh at this.

This is for a little kid.

And then I'm finding myself going, you ever watch the little

Spider-Man self?

Yeah.

You ever watched the little Olaf shorts?

I have seen those.

And I think it's funny.

I like how.

I thought we weren't using euphemisms.

His little minis, little tinies.

Little Olaf minis.

Did he touch you in your Olaf?

Little Olaf shorts.

All right, we have to take a break.

It's back.

Back to school season.

School season, little boys and girls.

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And we're back.

You know what?

It's good that we are because this is the podcast.

This is what a podcast is.

Can you imagine if this is someone's very first podcast episode they've ever listened to?

We want to welcome you to the world of podcasts.

That's wild to think about.

But it probably is.

Hey, enjoy yourself.

This is a lot of people.

Somebody who was holding out for the longest time.

For the longest time.

Whoa, did not listen to podcasts before.

For the longest time.

I now will listen to four.

I'll start with freedom

and then I'll try to bleed them.

I want to listen to podcasts.

Yeesh.

Yeesh is right.

That dog is.

That one was like,

whoa, babe.

I bet they've turned up rough stuff.

Podcasts are not for me.

Yeah.

I hope that was nobody's first time listening to this.

You have to give us some grace on this.

You got to listen to.

Please give us grace.

Please allow us and afford us some grace.

The Jeff Buckley album, Grace.

Uh-huh.

That guy.

That guy.

I wasn't into him.

I'm sad that he died.

Jeff Buckley died.

Yeah.

Long time ago.

Long time ago.

In the 90s.

Like 30 years of this.

So he's basically been since past

I knew his

that long?

Yeah.

Let me look it up.

I don't know about that.

You don't know about that?

There was an episode of The Sopranos.

1997.

Wow.

I'm so sorry.

It's only 28.

Thank you.

He was 30?

That's so sad.

There was an episode of The Sopranos.

He drowned in a river?

Yeah.

That's terrible.

Yeah.

The whole thing is a bummer.

Yeesh.

But his music is gorgeous.

Dude, that made me so depressed.

Here's what I want to say about his music.

Yeah.

There was an episode of The Sopranos where

Adriana was

somehow she was involved in this band.

She wanted to manage a band.

What is this?

I forgot about this.

Of the Sopranos.

Oh, okay.

And so we see them recording in the studio

and

the music to me was like what Jeff Buckley sounded like.

Hmm.

I don't know what that means.

Well, I don't know what to tell you.

I gave you all the clues, Mr.

Policeman.

Well, great.

I think his music was nice.

There's that.

You're nice.

You are the snowman of coming.

I like your smitter.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

You're the snowman of comedy.

I'm the snowman of comedy?

Yeah.

The murder one?

Yeah.

Oh, come on.

You're not the Olaf.

But he's supposed to be funny.

He's intentionally funny.

I like how he sings.

In summer.

Olaf.

Yeah.

He does like a funny voice like that.

When he kind of does his operatic voice.

That voice is funny and it's fun to do.

Funny.

It's good stuff.

I like it when someone hits on a new voice, like the guy who was like, what?

I had lola there.

The first guy who ever did that.

There's only one guy.

Wasn't it just his voice?

Pat Buttram?

I don't think.

I think he was playing it up, don't you think?

For every single thing that he ever did.

He figured out a funny voice and he got cast because of it.

Mr.

Haney.

Mr.

Haney.

When you figure out a funny voice, you're set for life.

There was that time where you could be a character and you could be that character in everything you did.

That's true.

We were watching Mary Poppins yesterday, and Ed, what's his name, Ed Wynn?

Ed Wynn.

No, Ed Begley.

No, Edwin Drood.

Ed Begley Jr.

Ed Begley.

It is Ed Wynn.

Yeah.

Ed Wynn.

He's got his whole like, woo, whoo,

kind of thing.

I can't deal with it.

But it's great.

It was pretty good.

And he just, he worked consistently, but I think he had to work for Disney most of the time.

I was going to say, that's a very Disney voice.

It's like those, like, those

in in Alice in Wonderland when those little, like, yeah, he's in that.

Edwin.

Yeah.

There's a bunch of them.

You know what I'm talking about.

You're just exhausted.

When the queen plays croquet with the little flamingos and flips them over, and they're like, oh, I haven't seen that in decades.

Ben a minute.

Ben a minute.

Ben a minute.

Benny.

Bena da-da-da-da.

Lauren was air guitaring.

Really good.

It was really good.

It was like air bass, too.

It was great.

Yeah.

It was kind of everything.

Well, last week was spring break, so we did a lot of fun things.

And then I left town.

Did you guys go to Florida?

No.

And I was in Providence, Rhode Island, doing shows.

And then I was in New York City.

And I got to see an old friend in Providence, which was really nice.

And I got to see an old age friend group in New York.

My friend's grandparents came to the show and they're 90 years old.

They're so awesome.

90?

Yeah.

90.

Wow.

I love it.

I can't imagine.

What are they thinking of the show?

They loved it with.

It looked like you were really having fun up there.

My friend's grandpa was crying, laughing.

Wow.

That's very sweet.

That was really nice.

I've wasted my life.

I've known them since I was 16.

And he also is in.

I just learned that he's an actor and he's in Red Dead Redemption as a character in the saloon.

I was going to tell you, do you play that game?

Oh, yes.

Okay, so I need you to find him.

It's my favorite game.

He's in, it might be like a new version because it was like something that he did recently.

Or I think it came out now, though.

This would be Red Dead Redemption 2.

Okay.

He was like in the saloon in the Western saloon.

Yeah.

There's a few of them.

He has white hair and a white mustache, and he's an old man.

And it looks like him.

They said

he said they did like his entire body and his voice.

And it's all he had to improvise a lot of lines.

Buck naked for this?

No, I will.

I'll disrespect.

I tell you what, I will visit all the saloons.

That would be amazing.

And try to find okay.

So I can send you a picture of him so you don't.

Do you have any clue of what he says ever?

No, but he said it was really fun.

Okay, so if there's a character who's like, this is really fun.

Yeah.

I like this.

I'm being in an old white saloon.

This is fun.

Yeah.

I'm going to turn on subtitles to make sure I don't.

Yep.

Isn't that cool, though?

Wouldn't you love that when you're 90 to be in a video game?

I love it.

I love it now.

Yeah.

When I was now.

That is one thing that I've really wanted to do, and I have not been able to get in.

I don't know how you get in that.

It is a very niche world, isn't it?

I did it for one game a million years ago because a guy was a fan.

Yeah.

And it was some, I I think it was like a wrestling game and I played the the medic in the wrestling arena nice even though I'd be sarcastic to everybody Jurassic World video try not to break your leg again like that kind of shit sarcastic medic even cartoons I'd love to do more cartoons but I've only done three and I feel like two haven't come out one was porn one was deleted

but I I I did invincible and it was one of the rare uh occasions where I left something feeling like I did a good job because the people told me I lost.

Oh, you need someone to see.

Well, no, you know how you always leave, and you're like, Yeah, I felt like they didn't enjoy that at all.

I don't always think that when I leave, that might be you.

That might be you, but even I don't always think that when I leave, you know what I mean?

Like, you know, it's like, no, no, I know what you're saying.

Was it where you can't tell?

Oh, yeah, at all.

You can't tell what the reaction was.

But that was a good one where Robert told me how funny I was.

Robert, thanks.

De Niro.

Yeah.

Bobby.

Pretty good.

Con of always.

Pretty good.

Hey, I have jokes.

Can you milk me?

Why would I milk?

I have jokes.

Can you milk me?

Because

he just wants to be milked.

I have Colin Joe's.

Can you milk me?

I just want to be milked.

Is that so wrong?

Who could forget John Lovitz's famous Harvey Feystein impression?

He said, remember when Harvey Feerstein was.

I just want to be loved.

Is that so wrong?

Harvey Feier was so well known that you could do an impression of him, and people would go, That's great.

Yes, he, I mean, that voice, very

distinct, but like there it was a certain period of time when uh, what was his movie that came out?

Mrs.

Doubtfire, no, no, the, the, the, but he was based on his, yeah, but the one based on song trilogy, yes, no, yes, yes, yes, yes, it was great.

Can I say I have some Mrs.

Doubtfire news?

Whoa, did it, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, as you all,

sorry, this has been preempted by Chappie News.

As you all, what?

This is some Chappie News?

Chappie is back on the scene.

That sounds like from a club.

What's your news,

dear?

As you know, I've never seen Mrs.

Doubtfire.

Oh, right.

I know the things that you need to know about it, so I'm all set.

It's based on a book.

But I'm watching a movie called Mrs.

Doubtfire.

And I'm like, this is eerily familiar.

No, no, no.

It's called Mr.

S.

Doubtfire.

And

I was watching this movie called Holland.

Yes, I heard of this.

I want to watch it.

Staring Nicole Kidman and Matthew McFadge.

I was about to press play on that the other day.

At one point in the film,

Nicole Kidman's at home watching a movie on video cassette.

Do you know who that movie is?

Mrs.

Doubtfire.

So you've seen it by proxy.

I have seen.

More Mrs.

Doubtfire than I've ever seen before.

Whoa.

Like, how long, is it like 20 minutes?

She just watches this?

or yeah kind of i thought that was bold she watches the first third like right when the movie starts and then she's like i'm gonna put a pin and then she's like wait i think there's something i'm supposed to do another character she's

she's a whole lot she sits down in front of the machine sits down in front of the tv that is what it is somebody comes in and starts talking she goes hold on a second i need to watch this movie she watches the first 20 minutes mrs doubtfire and then the person finally gets fed up and says i really need to talk to you she goes fine she pauses it and then the movie kind of starts but then what happens is someone comes over and they're like, Wait, are you watching Mrs.

Doubtfire?

And she's like, Oh, yeah, I just watched the first 20.

And they're like, I've never seen Canadian.

Do you mind if we start over?

Oh, and then they put it again,

put it again, put it again.

Like, I got it again.

Golden Cabin says, I could watch the first 20 minutes over and over again.

And then she watches the first in this movie.

She watches the first 20 minutes of Mrs.

Doubtfire three times total.

Well, she was told, and this is like backstory that I've

seen on TV, that she was told by someone, like another character that we don't see in the movie, that if you watch the first 20 minutes three times, you have much more like empathy for the character because you see him as himself much more.

Yeah, yeah, and so you care, you know.

So it's, she's just someone who her character struggles with empathy.

And so her friend was telling her, like, you know what, just kind of lock in with the backstory on this guy, and then you're going to feel like a lot more emotions.

Do you think that there was any discussion, even like someone just casually bringing it up, of like, hey, Nicole, I don't know if you should be watching a videotape in a movie because of your big, famous campaign about going to the theater.

Sure.

And she's like, I know.

Do you really think so?

Because she's playing herself in the movie.

Yeah.

Which is strange.

But like, realistically, do you think there was anyone sitting there going, should you really be doing this?

Can I just say, no, you know, we kind of joke about how Nicole Kidman, I think, just generally in culture right now, we're joking about how she's in everything.

Everybody.

Yes.

But she made it a mission to work with female directors.

Do you know this?

No, I didn't know.

And she's worked with like 20 already.

Or you know what?

Most people have to do that too.

Great.

Most people have worked with like

many, many, many famous, famous actors have worked with like zero to one female director.

I think Tom Harris made it a mission too.

She's worked with like a bunch now.

And she's been Tom Harris.

And then he did the Mr.

Rogers movie, and then maybe it was like, maybe I won't do this.

No.

Of course, she's

someone I know, and that was a great movie.

Marielle Hiller.

That's right.

I was very skeptical about that movie because I did not want to see somebody playing Mr.

Rogers.

And I was, that's the thing, so pleasantly surprised how well it was done.

Just can kind of embody anything, you know?

Yeah.

Even Chappie.

I would love to see him play Chappie.

When Chappie became one of the great roles, she's worked with 19.

Have you seen Hanks' Chappie?

She's worked with 19 female directors over the last eight years.

Good for her.

I'd love to do 19 of anything with him.

It's amazing.

What I'm hearing is that you want to be in a movie with a female director and you want it to be animated and you want it to be a video game that comes from it.

Yes, I'll do it all.

I'll do total 360.

I'll do the movie.

I'll do the video game.

I'll do everything.

Wow.

That's a lot.

I'm available.

I'm so available.

Oh!

That I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

For

Andrew, for Clay that's

bop.

Were they called EMF?

Crumbelievables,

those cookies, yeah.

There was crumblievable,

and it had two puns in it.

First, Michael Buffer saying, Let's get ready to crumble.

Whoa, then the song Crumbel.

Well, and if it's the same cookie,

that's a third pun.

I don't think it was Chips Ahoy.

Okay,

I was wondering if it was cookies.

Crumbly.

No, I think it was.

Your crumbies.

What else would crumble?

No, it's cookies.

Crumble in the whole thing.

And

thing.

You don't want to say that your cookie crumbles.

That's the way it does.

That's negative advertisement.

Of course, we all know that.

Unbelievable.

I know.

I think, I think what they're trying to say is like, you know, how when you eat cookies, there's you get crumbs all over.

Do you know how insane this is?

What?

I searched Crumb Believable, and then like this Reddit thing popped up for 3D Man Number 105, which is called Crumb Believable.

We've talked about this already.

So when you said I've said it before, I'll say it again.

It was 145 episodes ago, though, which is kind of insane.

What did we talk about it?

I don't know.

So you're disbelieving them.

Here, let's see.

Can we try to replicate what we talked about?

We probably just did.

Yeah, I don't know, man.

I don't know, man.

Hey.

Hopefully, this is your first episode of a podcast.

Now you want to go backwards.

145 episodes.

I've fixated on this.

I know.

Crumbly.

No, what commercial was it, though?

Because this might be a.

Here, I'll look up Crumb.

I've already looked up Jeff Crumb.

Crumbelivable commercial.

Crumbelivable commercial.

Oh, my God.

Cookies comes up.

I knew it was not cookies.

Was it craft mac and cheese?

Yes.

But it said crumbly.

Crumbles.

They were called crumbles.

Because they put crumbs on the top.

They put crumbles.

They put crumbles.

Stop reducing them.

What?

You're minimizing them.

Crumbles on the top?

What?

They're not crumbs.

They're crumbles.

Crumbles.

I've said it every single fucking time.

You said crumbs.

Don't you castigate me.

I heard you you say, I'm castigating you.

I'm castigating you.

You could get sharp cheddar.

Don't wag your soggy finger at me.

So what if my finger's soggy?

You get three cheese.

You get mozzarella.

Crumbles.

I love this.

I love this.

I had crumbs on mac and cheese last night that Kulov made.

So nice.

And she also puts a tomato on top of it.

What?

Yeah, I'm not.

No.

Tomato on top of mac and cheese?

Yeah, I'm not as into that.

You don't like tomatoes.

I don't.

Not really.

Something I picked up on.

Why are you watching me?

I don't really

pay attention

to what you do in their natural form.

I like them on

which is it.

He doesn't like a

top of salad.

No.

You don't like it on a pizza.

You don't like a cherry tomato?

Sometimes I like it on pizza.

Like the Lord of the Rings guy?

If you bite right into one, it's a big juice bomb of flavor.

But you know, sometimes with tomatoes, like I avoid a big juice bomb.

I avoid a cherry tomato, but then I go, this is good for me, and I'll just eat it.

Well, you just see it.

I like a cherry tomato.

I don't know.

But I don't like it.

I'm not sliced up.

I don't really want to be the one who creates

the juice in my mouth.

You're crumbling.

Don't create the juice.

But a tomato slice on a sandwich, I feel, has the potential to ruin the sweetness.

No, no, no, I need a lot of tomatoes.

I like a lot of tomatoes.

I took a sandwich on a turkey sandwich.

For example, let's talk about Jimmy John's.

I'm going to get a turkey sandwich.

I'm going to eat a lot of sand.

I'm going to get extra tomatoes.

I want them in there.

That's madness.

You're a lunatic.

That's madness.

Really yummy.

I like to go to Jersey Mike's and get it Mike's way.

Of course, you get it Mike's way.

He knows how to do it.

I will say Mike's way is like standardly good.

I like Mike to serve it to me.

Yeah.

You request Mike.

Say, this is my mic.

And you get my husband to do it.

Yeah.

Any Mike will do it.

Any Mike.

Yeah.

What is that?

Any Dream Will Do?

That's from.

What is that?

Any Dream do.

I loved Joseph.

When I was at the south,

Any Dream Will Do.

Oh, from Joseph and the Maiden King.

Yeah, it doesn't make any sense, but it sounds great.

That musical had a lot of great songs that I loved as a child.

You should have seen one of my 150 performances of it.

What did you play?

I was

King Herod.

I was kind of just like chorus for maybe 30, and then I was Reuben for the next 120.

Ruben Kincaid.

Johnny Osman.

The friend of the Partridge family's manager?

That's Ruben Kincaid.

He just drove up in a bus.

Well, it wouldn't have been so weird because it was a very pop culture-heavy production where the energizer bunny walked across the stage.

That's silly.

Oh, who was 1990?

Wait, who is today's 1993?

Partridge family.

I beg your pardon?

Ruben Kincaid.

No, who was the

teen guy?

David Cassidy?

David Cassidy, yeah.

Couldn't remember his name.

Never forget.

No, I'll never forget.

Really?

Here are the people.

If I ask you next episode, will you remember?

Yes.

Okay.

Here's the people we remember from the Partridge family.

We remember the actors I'm talking about.

Shirley Jones.

All of them.

Shirley Jones, of course.

Oh, yeah.

We remember David Castell.

They were some cute family.

Susan Day.

And Bonnie

Bonnie Denaducci.

Bonnie Denaducci.

The two children's names.

Bonnie Ducci's.

Lost to history.

I've never seen an episode.

Ruben Kincaid played by Dave Madden, I believe.

I've never seen it.

You never see the Partridge family?

Never, not once.

What?

We were a Brady Bunch household.

We watched Brady Bunch.

I think we've seen a ton of that.

We prefer Brady Bunch.

I don't think that it was syndicated in any local television.

I mean, it was when I was growing up because I watched.

When I say local, I mean my local.

Hey, guess what?

You're an asshole.

Hey, coming down to your local.

Coming down to your local to watch the Portridge family.

Brady Bunch.

I love them all.

They're great.

I watched A Petticoat Junction.

I didn't see that one.

I watched Green Acres.

You know, that one always, I turned it off.

Green Acres frustrated me

because everyone was so weird and this one guy was just trying to do simple things.

I hate that kind of thing.

It drove me crazy.

When people, like, it's like Amelia Bedelia, which I'm sure I've talked about.

Yes.

She just doesn't understand idioms.

And you're like, you know what?

I can't keep, you can't let cats out of a bag every time.

Catch up, idiot.

Yeah.

Come on.

Yeah.

I also hated, I dream of genie for that reason.

Yeah, there's a lot of misunderstandings.

Bewitched and all that.

It's just like, oh no, is someone going to find out my thing?

The world would be better if they did.

Bewitched, at least, was not somebody being dumb.

But I dream of genie was like, she didn't understand things.

She took things.

She was sort of Amelia Bedelia.

She took things literally.

Yeah.

Or interpreted things liberally

that her master would say.

Small L, liberally.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

It was a very conservative show.

We have to take a break.

I'm so sorry.

I want to apologize to both of you.

Well, I accept your apology.

No, he wants to.

He didn't do it.

That's chappy.

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We're back, and I, uh, before we get too in the weeds with what we're talking about,

I have to

do it.

Lauren, a question.

Oh, thanks.

Okay.

Does Paul know what a threecher is?

I don't think he does because he looked at me during the break and he said, What's it?

What's a chester?

What's a chester?

Is that why he was shivering?

Yes.

What's a chester?

What's a chester?

Chester?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He just doesn't know.

I don't know.

Oh, well.

Do you?

I mean, a threecher is a game that we like to play.

It's also known as a buster.

Let's do it then.

Oh, okay.

A treater is a game we like to play, and it's also known as a buster.

Also,

a buster.

Also, no buster.

Let's try to during the break.

We were talking about various songs in choir or performances that we still knew our parts for.

Yes.

Let's try to sing that lyric and make it nice.

Okay.

So, will you go high?

Okay.

You want to do the melody?

I'll do melody because I can't really do it.

And I'll try to go low.

Yeah.

Wait, so I said, do you want to go high?

And you went,

Three.

That's not.

Three church is a game we like to play, and it's also known as a buster.

Okay, Olaf.

Also, oh no, I wanted to make it nice.

I can't figure out a high part of that.

Three chair is a game.

Also known as a buster.

You should go high next time.

All right, it's time for a threecher.

Yeah.

We're going to play Word Alley Oop.

Yeah.

This is submitted by Tim Ward.

Yeah.

I'm sure a descendant of Bert Ward.

Maybe related to Ward.

Was he hungry when he named himself that?

Ward.

I want to eat Ward.

I'm a good Ward.

Oh, Jesus.

You're eating sounds scary to me.

No.

So, how does this game go, dear?

Well,

it's very simple.

Each one of us will give,

i.e., text

a word to the person on our left.

Okay.

Okay.

We do a short scene.

Every player has to try to use the word.

Every player.

I like this part.

Each player must try to use the word.

You must try.

I didn't get it out.

What if he doesn't succeed?

I didn't get it out.

You have to use the word.

I got to go with my man Yoda here.

Do or do not.

There is no try.

Wow.

That's probably where he got that.

Yeah.

Yes.

From this game.

Yeah, yeah.

And then we try.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

We try.

We have to

simply must guess.

We can guess incorrectly or correctly, but we have to guess.

Oh, that's nice.

We have those options.

So you can guess wrong.

Yeah, you can.

And you still write a point for that.

Yeah.

No.

Guess the person on your,

I don't know.

Whoever, you know who gave you the word.

You try to guess the word.

Well, you can't guess the word that the person gave you you because you know it.

You try to guess what the other person's word was that they had to say.

Exactly.

It's very simple.

It'll all come out cleanly.

It'll all come out in the wash when we play.

Let's just text each other a word.

And we're going to text the person on our left.

Person on my left is Paul.

Person on my left is Lauren.

And

I'm putting Paul's name in.

I'm not putting anyone else's name in.

Done.

Done.

I just got my word.

I've received my word.

I just received my word.

And go.

Hi.

Can somebody help me here?

Oh, yeah.

I'm sorry.

You dropped your whole briefcase.

I dropped my whole briefcase.

Oh, I've seen it.

I've seen anyone drop all of their briefcase before.

I'm so sorry.

And it spilled all my papers all over the place.

A subway, they're going to get blown into the subway tracks.

Oh, I know.

It's a calamity.

Okay.

And so what I need.

This is inconceivably difficult for you to do.

Okay, Wallace Sean.

That, of course,

inconceivable.

It's inconceivable.

All right, let's stop goofing around.

Okay, okay, okay.

So my papers, you see the sheaf of papers?

Yeah.

That's a whole ream of papers.

It's a ream and a sheaf.

It's a gaggle.

Yeah.

It's like a non-illion papers right there.

It's like an abominable amount.

You're telling me.

And I have to put this incorrigible amount of papers back in the order in which they were.

This is going to be detrimental to your schedule, I have to say.

Oh, it's going to be demoralizing and enervating.

I think that your life might be enriched by this experience, though.

If I put these in,

if I order these.

They should be in numerical order.

Well, that's the thing.

They should be doubly stacked, much like cookies.

They're not only numeric, they're alphanumeric.

And if I put them in order incorrectly, I will be

disintegrated from my job.

Wait, what is your job that you would be disintegrated?

I have to...

stand in front of the disintegration machine so they can calibrate it.

Wait, this is like in Washman, right?

Who?

Ribs?

I'm ribs.

Has everyone said their word?

I have.

I have.

I have.

All right.

Is yours.

There were a couple that I thought.

Oh, of course.

That's how he plays.

This is fun.

Disintegrate.

No.

You want another guess?

There was two that you said back to back in a sentence where I felt like one of those was one of them.

Was that what?

You'll have to be a little bit more specific.

What was it?

Incorrectly.

Oh, would not have guessed that.

You had much choicier words let me guess yours

i'm gonna say incorrigible no okay enriched yes oh that was my second choice your word if i had been paying attention i would say

this is your this is your fatal flaw

you were talking the most in that scene which i think probably made it hard to

you're you're great at doing you guys kept asking me questions

but you're you're i know i was very focused on you i don't know why you're great at doing red herring words yeah you're not great at listening

it's my strength oh i thought chief might have been your word.

Chief is a good word.

Yeah.

But no.

All right, let's do it again.

Wait, I have to take one guess.

And I'm allowed to guess incorrectly.

You are.

What words did Scott say?

What words did Scott say?

Pleiades?

Pleiades?

I don't think I ever said that.

No, you didn't.

I have no idea.

Mine's detrimental.

Detrimental.

I threw in a few red herrings, but

he threw a few red herrings too.

I did.

Let's go to

our right.

Yeah, kitchen.

Okay.

Lauren is to my right.

Scott is to my right.

I'm sending Paul a word.

I've sent my word.

I've got it.

I have sent my word.

Oh, boy, I can't wait for this word.

Typing took me like five tries.

I had to keep going back.

I got it.

All right.

This is actually our first.

Who are you?

God damn it.

What's your name?

Do a scene.

What's your name?

Who are you and

my name's Brenda?

You're taking the tour of the candy factory right now, are you not?

Yes, I am.

Do you need a verbal assent from me?

You seem to not know where you were, who I was.

So I'm trying to make sure you're on.

Just because I don't know who you are, doesn't mean I don't know where I am.

Okay, you see.

You and I have never met.

So, how would I do that?

Thank God.

Thank God.

I'm taking this candy factory tour because I want to be concupiscent with the Reese Cups.

Okay.

I want to pat the peppermint patties and I want to be betwixt the twixes.

But good one.

I want to have sex with this candy.

Is that coming through?

As you can see, these vats are overflowing with candies.

We have pecans, candies, and chocolates, and all sorts of delicious.

What a preponderance of pecans!

There's absolutely way too much.

We're absolutely overwhelmed by the amount that we have.

Do I need to buzz in to ask a question?

No, you don't.

Or bling the bell.

You don't have to bling the bell.

You are being inscrutable.

What do you need?

I need to know what is candy.

Okay, so he's from another planet.

He's starting from square one.

Yeah, it's a sweet treat.

Dear.

Oh, this makes total sense.

We're absolutely buffo with the stuff.

There's so much to be had, so much to do, and so much to see.

It is a regular cornucopia

of candy treats.

Wow.

This is a lot of what you're calling candy.

It just seems to be everywhere here.

Would you like to try some?

What is your name, by the way?

My name is Josh

Hartnett.

I have a

six-pack.

You have a six-pack?

That's what he says.

Of candy?

That's what he says.

Oh.

I'd like to try some, yes.

Are you giving free samples or do I have to?

Everybody has a sample.

Thank you.

Throwing it in my face.

You are shredded, ripped, and jacked.

That's right.

Also,

you have a flazz and jizz.

Remember me from the movie Oppenheimer.

That's where I learned how short Killian Murphy is.

Yes.

Did you ever see Barbenheimer?

That was a great weekend for us.

Did you ever see Weisenheimer?

This is, it's stuck in my throat.

I'm joking.

Oh, no.

I'm joking.

Are there allergens in this candy show?

Yes, there's Buffo allergens.

I'm joking.

I'm joking.

Let him go.

Let him go.

I see the light.

Goodbye, Josh Hartnitch.

Thank you for visiting our planet.

Good works.

You're going straight back to hell.

You tried.

I did.

No, I did.

He got it up.

I have no clue what his was.

It might be a Scott thing.

I think if you

think on it.

Think on it.

There was one specific thing

that you even

took note of.

Do you want to guess, Lawrence?

I mean, I want to say Bafo.

Yes.

You said it's why I'm not sure.

Does Bafo mean a lot?

Yes.

Okay.

I'm trying to guess.

I didn't really know.

It's only in terms of boxes.

It's like a variety word.

Yeah.

I just didn't know.

It kind of means successful.

Okay, well, I'm booming.

I'm going to say corn eucopia, but I don't know.

No.

You say too many words.

It's true.

What is it?

Betwixt.

Betwix.

The Twixes.

How lucky for you that Twixes came up?

What was yours?

Mine was bling.

That misspeak was not a misspeak.

Wow, no, that's good.

That's good.

Now that's good.

Yeah.

Now that is good.

Good gameplay.

good game, everyone.

Good game.

Should we do another round or no?

Sure.

Let's just go.

One more.

Okay.

Let's go to our left again.

Yes, back to the left.

To the left.

To the left, to the left.

Everything you own in a box to the left.

Reconsidering.

Reconsidering.

Everything you own and I want to love to hidden the mingling.

Can I look at it?

Then let me call you again.

Let's see.

There we go.

What the fuck is happening?

I just need a second.

You just looking at your fucking phone?

No, I just need a second.

Okay, this guy needs a second.

Oh, I spelled it wrong.

Oh, really?

Okay.

Because it is a thing.

Yeah, but it's this.

Okay.

I just need clarification.

But it's pronounced

similarly to those words that I had.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Got it.

Got it.

Got it.

Got it.

Standing in the front porch.

Tell them me.

Hey, everyone.

Do you mind coming a little bit closer?

You guys are so far away.

I just don't want to.

How close are you talking about?

This is making me uncomfortable.

I just don't want to get too close because I don't want you to be able to grab me.

How about six feet away?

You seem like a guy who's looking for a fuck, buddy.

My arms are only

my arm span is probably.

Your arm's too short to box with God.

Okay, look.

I'm not going to be your sex toy, not going to be your concubine.

I'm trying to teach you how to figure skate here.

Oh,

I misread this situation.

I am so sorry.

I got this outfit.

I just got this outfit for skating.

Is this appropriate?

I mean, honestly, I don't think a Halloween costume is really all that appropriate.

It's not really a Halloween.

I mean, it's Tanya Harding.

Oh, okay.

I just, I thought the crowbar was a little bit more.

What about me?

I'm wearing the Borat Unitard bathing suit.

Well, you also have his briefcase.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've borrowed his briefcase.

I had to wear this.

This was all I was able to get.

I get all my clothes on consignment or

it's okay.

Just put down the crowbar and we'll be okay.

I'm going to teach you a.

I get all my clothes through robbery.

I'm going to teach you a few.

I'm going to hit your knee so bad.

I really would rather.

I'm just, I'm merely a teacher.

I'm not even a professional.

Why do you have that automotive tool?

Oh, I'm just kind of channeling Tanya Harding.

Can I teach you a double indie or an axle?

A double indy?

A triple axle, maybe.

who like indiana jones wait indiana jones did what the archerian jones says what indiana jones says what

i only want to learn um the simplest moves okay so the the most basic move is just skating do you know how to do that no we can start there move up to a like a triple sow cow or something like skating in an ecumenical sense

I don't think so because I don't know what that means.

What do you mean by that?

You're being obtuse.

Did everyone say their word?

Yes, I did.

I did too.

I did.

Who am I supposed to guess?

Me.

You.

Oh, shit.

I mean, I feel like I always catch yours.

I always start thinking one of yours is happening when it's near the end because you start throwing in some big-ass words like ecumenical.

But I don't think that was the word.

I don't think ecumenical was the word either.

Oh, I gave it to him.

What did I give you?

Oh, right, right, right, right, right.

Do you want to guess me?

Yeah, you want to guess me, Greg?

I have nipples.

I'm going to say...

Guess me?

Because

there was some problem with it at first.

Yeah, there was

an issue.

And I wondered if it was spelling?

She did spell it incorrectly.

Initially.

Well, yeah, we eventually got there.

Great.

You got it right.

I got it.

Eventually.

Skating.

Skating is not it.

I will say you were talking over it.

So it was.

Okay, great.

Triple Sow Cow.

Yeah.

Triple Sow Cow.

Yeah.

That's a word.

It is.

Some sort of a jump, I guess.

Your word.

Oof.

They don't blurs together.

I should be writing a trip.

I wasn't even listening to you.

I thought I was listening to Paul.

Oh, that's interesting.

Taking notes is an an interesting idea.

Yeah.

I, okay, what are the things you said?

Oh, oh, oh, Tanya Harding.

Tanya Harding.

No.

Shit.

What was it?

Consignment.

Consignments.

Do you want to say yours?

Fuck buddy.

What?

Well, we did it.

We did it.

We did it.

If you would like to send us a three church, you can email us at threedomusa at gmail.com.

If you'd like to follow us on socials, we're threedomusa.

And if you'd you'd like to leave us a voicemail, which we use for our three meme episodes that come out every other Wednesday, go to the

iconic website.

This,

I have an inkling that it was the very first website.

It's weird that we even have to say the actual name anymore.

I know, because you know what we're talking about.

You know what we're talking about.

Yeah.

We're talking about hagclaims8.com.

Obviously, obviously.

So you go there, leave us a voicemail, a conversational prompt, and we will conversate about it after your prompt.

Yeah.

And then

what else?

Gosh.

If you want to hear ad-free episodes, our entire archive, go over to cbbworld.com and get either one of the tiers.

We'll get you access to that.

As well as if you want to hear us answer those emails, that's every other Wednesday.

Those are our three meme episodes.

You can hear those also at CBB World or on Lemonada Premium.

There you go.

It's as simple as that.

And go see Paul on tour.

Please come see me on tour.

I don't know where I am right now.

I'll tell you where you are.

It's May 8th, I believe.

Oh, May 8th.

Well, then, if it's May 8th, Poker Face is premiering tonight, obviously.

I absolutely have to be

in between Washington, D.C.

and Durham, North Carolina.

So you'll be in Durham tomorrow.

That's fun.

Yeah.

Where are you spending the night today?

Because you have have a day off, right?

Are you spending it in Durham or in Washington?

I have to sleep in a box that contains the dirt of my homeland.

Oh, right, right, right.

Yeah.

So that's where I'll be.

Okay.

Come and say hi.

Yeah, please.

Go track down the dirt of his homeland.

At night, please.

Don't say hi during the day.

Don't ring the bell when the sun is out, please.

Anything for you, Lauren?

At this time, I simply will allow people to find out what I'm doing based off what I post on Instagram.

Okay.

That's a wonderful system, you have Yeah.

Good for you.

Bye.

Our healthcare system is broken in so many ways.

We have a healthcare system that's supposed to be taking care of people that is making it literally more difficult for people to put food on the table.

So this season, we'll dive into the challenges headfirst while also thinking about how we can find a better way because we all deserve better.

Uncared for season three from Lemonada Media, available August 6th, wherever you get your podcasts.