Threevisiting: Fleetwood Mask

Hello people, let me tell you about the online cannabis company that's revolutionizing how we deal with life's challenges.

From sleepless nights to stress-filled days, Mood.com has created an entire line of functional gummies that target specific health concerns with 100%

federally legal THC blends.

They deliver them discreetly, in case you're surrounded by squares, right to your doorstep.

And you can get 20% off your first order at mood.com with promo code FREEDOM.

I've tried a bunch of their gummies myself.

And I got to tell you, it's wild how different each one feels.

Their sleepy time gummies knock me out in about 15 minutes flat.

No hangovers, no grogginess.

I wake up feeling amazing.

And they're epic euphoria gummies.

They're perfect for those days and nights when nothing's going right and you just need to hit the reset button on your, frankly, crap mood.

What makes these different is how they paired THC and other cannabinoids with herbs and adaptogens.

You're not just going to find gummies like this in a dispensary or anywhere for that matter.

And they have gummies for literally everything, immune support, menopause relief, PMS symptoms, mental clarity,

sexual arousal.

And each one is crafted using federally legal cannabis grown on small, family-owned American farms.

No pesticides, no BS.

You can look up what that stands for.

And they can ship to most states in the U.S.

Best of all, not only does Mood stand behind everything with an industry-leading 100, I'm assuming everything they make, with an industry-leading 100-day satisfaction guarantee.

But as I think you'll recall, I mentioned my listeners, Paul of Tompkins' listeners, get 20% off their first order with code Threedom.

So here's what I'd like you to do for yourself, not for me.

Head to mood.com, browse their amazing selection of functional gummies, and find the perfect gummy for whatever you're dealing with.

And remember to use promo code Threedom at checkout to save 20% on your first order.

I'll see you in your dreams.

Hey, it's me, Steve Burns, and I'm so glad you're here because you and I go way back, right?

Yeah.

And look at us now.

Like we're all grown up.

We've got this new podcast where we talk about all this grown-up stuff and there's special guests like Jamie Lee Curtis and Bill Nye.

But for the most part, it's about you.

I mean, it's always been about you.

From Lemonada Media, a live with Steve Burns is coming September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts, or you can watch every episode on YouTube.

FREEDOM!

And we are back in the studio.

Leave your egos at the door.

We've got fan mail, bell.

Goodbye, new listeners.

We have not been in here as a unit.

Nope.

An absolute unit.

We have not been in here as an absolute unit for many years.

Many years.

Nope.

A three-pronged Voltron.

Not one year, but two.

Yeah.

I think we did the entire last season over.

How many prongs does the regular Voltron have?

It usually just has one.

I'm talking a full three-dick Voltron.

Prong.

Three dicks.

The three dicks come together to make one dick.

I mean, is that a term for a penis?

Prong?

Yeah, it is.

It's not like dork.

In your household?

Sure.

Prong.

Prong.

Your girlfriend says, put your prong in me.

It's in a lot of romance novels.

She stroked his prong.

You.

That's disgusting.

Well, we are back in the studio.

This is Threedom.

My name is Scott.

My name is Paul.

My name is Laura.

Perfect harmony.

And we're also back in the same room for the first time

in a while because we've been on Zoom for a while.

And I had COVID.

You had COVID, the novel coronavirus.

I put the novel Canon by this COVID-19.

Canonical by this.

Yeah, you had it.

It is Canon.

Put that in the wiki.

It's in the wiki.

Don't put that on my wiki.

I can't be living like that.

What if that was in every single person's wiki?

It was like when they got it.

Yeah, every time they got sick.

Not just COVID.

She had a cold in April of 2018.

That's where this is headed.

I don't know, because everyone wants to catalog everything you you do.

Early 2023 saw her with a sinus infection.

Sar.

Sar.

Okay, I got to address the elephant in the room.

Sorry, Mike T.

You sent us a t-shirt in.

You are an elephant.

Get out of here.

You sent us a t-shirt in September 2019.

We never saw it until.

We finally, Lauren got here, finally, we haven't been here in three years.

Look through the mail, and there are some just egregious

things that we have not responded to.

Like, so this person sent this t-shirt of chicken in the corn and wanted it signed.

And Paul had already signed it somehow.

I read the letter, but I didn't retain the information.

At a tour stop or some like distance.

And so we have, and there was

what is called a SACE, a self-addressed stamped envelope.

I recall from my days of sending fan mail

as a kid.

It's also six in Spanish.

In Espanol.

Yeah, but spelled differently.

And we signed it and we put it back in

the envelope for you.

And we're going to send it.

And if you don't live there anymore, which is very possible.

Look, I we can't do anything about it.

I think we need to take bets on whether this person is even still a listener.

Yeah, well, they could have possibly not people move on from podcasts.

Well, because we don't get a response for years, you steal their t-shirt from them.

Sure, yeah, three years.

It's signed by all three of us, and hopefully, you get it soon and you love it.

Sorry, Mike T, but uh, we got to it when we got to it, and we got to it now.

And we also want to say thank you.

I posted this on Instagram, thank you to Belinda and Cooper for making gorgeous embroideries for us of our dogs.

Yeah, Yeah.

These were great.

And how long ago were these sent?

19.

You know, it didn't clock the date.

But probably three years.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We're looking at years ago.

This is going to go right up on my wall, though.

I love it.

It's lovely.

Which wall?

My gallery wall.

Belinda, is that her name?

Yeah.

Is that the name?

Yeah.

Well,

they sent these wonderful needle points.

One of Rocky for Scott.

Thank you.

My

dog.

And one of...

Yeah, maybe they made it when Rocky was still with us.

When was Rocky still with us?

No, Rocky wasn't still with us.

But maybe they did, and we haven't gotten to the mail in that long.

Whoa, because

Rocky passed away.

When did Tim Kalpakas get married?

It was the day after.

I don't know.

I wasn't invited.

Same these.

You guys, you should have seen the Bruce.

So what if I hardly knew him at the time?

Yeah, same.

Who gives a shit?

I have absolute strangers inviting me to weddings.

Why wouldn't they invite us?

You're telling me acquaintances can't invite me to a wedding where a bunch of people I know are going to be be there?

Yeah, it's like a party that I would enjoy.

Yeah,

we all enjoyed it.

Do you think?

Oh my God.

He's back with an attitude.

I can't.

Yeah, this is Paul back in the studio.

If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at this.

Wow.

And what is this?

You're the best.

Really?

Sail away, stay away.

Sail away.

world?

Is that all for viewer mail?

That's the only ones I want to talk about.

No offense to anyone else.

I got it because I can't get into it.

I got something sent to me.

Dooda, do da.

I got something sent to me while

the doodada.

I did get an email.

Is it from a company?

They said, you have an order that you placed with us, and we love to send it to you.

It is from a company.

It's from a company that Paul F.

Tompkins started an exclusive arrangement with.

That's right.

It is exclusive.

Okay, can we just see?

How are you?

Can we do the cameo check-in?

Yeah, let's do a cameo check-in.

Cameo is still happening.

The price got raised, but I'm still getting requests.

And you're at 300 now?

Yes.

And you are getting a flood of requests.

It was a lot.

But I caught up.

Good.

Oh, you caught up?

Okay, now it's manageable, I would hope.

It is manageable.

It's mentionable, it's manageable.

Exactly.

So you're mentioning it all.

I'm mentioning it all the time.

There are still some people that don't, I think, are not quite sure of the concept.

And so I message them when they give a request, say,

this is what I do.

Are you sure you still want this?

And a couple of people I have not heard back from.

And so I think I have to wait until it's almost about to expire because I think

if I let it expire, that reflects poorly on me.

I think I have to decline a request.

Oh, I see.

So I can have a good rating or whatever.

Cameo.

Who knew?

There's so much.

Oh, my God.

Well, in any case,

you mentioned on early last week.

There was somebody that I was at the gym today, and somebody looked really good.

You look ripped.

Your body is so all your muscles are

look.

I mean, we're all having fun, but look, I'm not trying to be in a Marvel movie.

I'm just trying to stay alive.

Is that the dichotomy?

That is, it's so funny.

It's like you, you gotta, there should be something in between.

You're going to the gym?

Why?

You're trying to get super cut?

I'm like, no, just adding one year to my life.

Perhaps.

By spending two years of my life doing this.

Let's hope so.

But so I'm there on the elliptical machine, and I see on my phone that a request comes through.

I go to open it, and then within, by the time I opened it, 20 seconds later, they had canceled their request.

Ah, good.

Yeah.

It was wild to see that thought process happening.

Yeah.

Well, this was not a canceled request.

You mentioned on our last episode or the episode before that,

a friend, a mutual friend, bought me one of your cameos.

And I had a guess as to who it was.

Who was your guess?

That person.

It was that person.

I was thinking who was willing to do this kind of thing.

Yes, of all people, this guy.

And it turned out to be this guy.

And this is.

Oh, it's not me.

I do have two thumbs, though.

And it's not me.

I broke my thumbs in a butt plug accident.

Accident.

Putting one in, take him out, or using them instead of butt plugs.

I won't be explaining to the font.

But this is, this is, we've talked about him a few times.

This is Tall John.

Tall John bought this.

Famously, extremely tall man.

He was trying to disguise that it was him by spelling his name differently upon the request and not realizing that his name was in the credit card information or something.

Exactly.

And so Paul knew this was,

and I think his request was for it to be for a friend named Scott who was starting a new podcast venture.

He needed a pep talk.

He was feeling insecure about the podcast.

But you saw, you saw who

you saw through it right away and decided to do your own thing.

And this made us all laugh.

This is Paul's cameo to me.

Hey, Scott.

Your friend John really cares about you, and he told me that you're going through a hard time.

That

recently your dick fell off and

it got on the ground.

And the ground was dirty.

And

there's like,

you know, grass and dirt on your dick.

And

you have to wash it off.

And, you know, obviously you have to to tell people about it, and that's not easy.

Obviously.

So

I just want you to know that your struggles, while mortifying and comical,

they're real to you and to everyone.

Everyone knows about your dick falling down and getting dirty.

I would say rinse it in a sink.

You're giving a medical advice?

I don't think you can send it out

to like a dry cleaner.

I think you have to do it.

I think this is something that you have to do yourself.

And I would say run the water

until it's warm.

If you have the thing with two taps, turn on the hot first,

let it get hot, and then turn on the cold until you get to like a nice warm level

of water temperature, and then rinse it off there.

And

it's not different than the other cameos I would tell you about.

Do it over the kitchen sink, Mason, if you have a garbage disposal and then sink aerator

so that any gravel or whatever goes down there.

You're not technically supposed to put gravel in

the thing.

Anyway,

best of luck

from your friend John and me, Paula Chompin.

That was really good.

What face did I make at the end?

Oh, it's just like you seem so.

Oh, damn, it erased it.

You you crossed your eyes and fell over.

No, you, you were,

you seemed so beleaguered during the whole thing.

Like, beleaguered.

And also.

Beleaguered?

Yeah.

Belegda.

You seem so beleagued.

And then at the end, you're like, and for me, Paul of Tompkins.

And you smiled really big.

But you seem to really be empathizing with my

plight.

That's how I try to do it during the whole spin.

You really want to be there for these people and situations you've made up.

Exactly.

You know.

That's great.

So that was very, what a wonderful gift from Tall John and from you, Paul.

Beyond forever now.

I do, yes.

With the official cameo watermark.

Yes, and that is something you couldn't get just by being his friend.

And do I download it from this?

Or I've just been keeping the browser open.

Do I download it?

I have zero ideas.

I don't know, but that's why I kind of refinement from Matt Roloff.

It was like not easy.

Who?

Who?

The guy from Little People, Big World that Jimmy Fowley sent me.

I thought you told him.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

Sorry, I forgot his name.

Yeah.

It's very close to Matt Roffel.

Rolling on the floor laughing.

Okay.

Matt rolling on the floor laughing?

Yeah, I think that's actually what it was based on.

Is he related to Matt Lamau?

You mean Matt LeBlanc?

No, Matt Lamau.

Matt laughing my ass off?

Lamau.

I've never heard it pronounced exactly like that.

Lamau.

L-M-F-A-O.

Yeah, what happened to those guys?

Yeah, one was like...

They did like improv at I.O.

What?

I remember they were around for a minute or something.

Are they the reason that it went?

Or were they doing improv?

Maybe I'm mixing it up.

Were they doing improv at L?

Improv and improv IO just formed around them.

Yes.

But there was, this was the time when Real World LA was happening and they did improv at I.O.

And then I remember

LMFAO was also there for some reason or other.

Maybe they were performing.

I remember when

Real World special.

Like after these terrible people do improv, then we'll sing our dumb song.

What was their song again?

I'm Sexy and I Katrina.

Everybody going to have a good time.

And we're going to make y'all look so.

I think I'm sexy and I know it is one of theirs too, right?

I'm sexy and I know it.

There are no right side Fred.

Yeah, it's like only one person can be sexy.

Right said Fred are COVID deniers now.

Well, then I guess I have another favorite set.

I'm so sexy.

So

I never thought of them as a band.

They're two dudes.

Those two big Jackson.

Okay, if you're two dudes,

unless you're both, and I pay that you are.

Unless you both have the same name that you name the band,

you can't name the band

after a person's name.

Fred, you mean?

Yes.

The one that Red Said Fred?

No, no.

Because it's just.

Right said Fred is a, I think it's a quote from something.

It's probably like the bard.

It's like how Duran.

It's probably the bard.

Duran Duran is a character in Barbarella.

Right.

I was going to look up Wright Said Fred, and I realized I don't care enough.

Exactly.

I don't care.

But then the one, you think of the guy, the one guy from the video as Wright Said Fred.

I think there's two guys in the video.

I don't.

That's impossible.

There's another guy lurking behind him over there.

If I.

I guess I thought he wasn't supposed to be there.

The dude from Right Said Fred is so jacked, though, it's hard to get anyone else into the frame.

Exactly.

He's so sexy.

And also, it's like Blondie.

Like, why did they go with Blondie when there's one blonde woman in the group and her name name is not Blondie?

She's

gone with Dagwood.

She is the vibe.

Yeah, oh, but why not call it Debbie Harrion Friends?

These images are.

Did you look up Wright Said Fred?

Just to see the then and now is sort of fascinating.

And just the

sheer baldness of the whole story.

The sheer power baldness of the audacious baldness.

Oh, formed by brothers Fred and Richard Fairbrothers.

Oh, okay.

I apologize.

I accept your apology.

I know that was not easy for you to do.

It must have been like a fairy.

It's really enough because I still don't feel wrong.

I bet you when they were little, one time Fred

said right, and it was so funny that they were like, now we're going to be called right stuff.

That is so funny.

Yeah, well, it's like an answer.

Right.

The group was named after the novelty song Wright Said Fred, which was a

song singer and actor Bernard Cribbens in 1962.

Bernard Cribbens, the murderer?

So both of us are right.

Are they married?

Is another question.

I like this.

They're unmarried.

Fred also appears to be unmarried at the moment.

Appears to be unmarried.

He's always got his arm around his wife.

Get to their vaccine

stuff.

Someone's asking if these two brothers were married to each other.

That's sick.

Sickness.

They're not married.

They're just close.

Hopefully, the Supreme Court will rule on this soon.

Still against vaccine despite being admitted to hospital with COVID-19.

Yeah.

No, Richard.

Richard.

Not afraid.

Right.

Right.

Anti-vaccines, the Green Cross code, whatever that is.

Anyway.

The Green Cross Code.

I'm too sexy for my shot.

Too sexy for this jab.

And now I'm going to dab.

I still love it when people dab in a comical way.

It's funny, right?

I like it.

It's funny.

I know it's dorky.

I like it.

To see people dabbing.

It really gets me.

It's such a, what a weird thing that blew up and imploded in such a way.

I like it when kids do it.

I like it when adults do it.

I like it when anyone dabs.

It really makes me laugh.

It's so dumb.

Even when I'm watching a TV show from five years ago when it was popular or just starting to see like a whole family do it on Family Feud or something, I love it.

The funniest.

Classy.

Speaking of which.

Doing our show next weekend.

That's right.

No.

Will that be over by the time people are hearing this?

No, people are hearing this Thursday.

Yes, but the show is sold out.

Laura and I are going to be able to do it.

There are a few stand-by tickets for you guys.

Do you think I could get a standby ticket?

We're going to be all you have to pay $300

cameo.

It's cameo prices.

Once it gets sold out, it goes to cameo prices.

Yeah, Laura and I are going to be captains in an all-comedian

feud.

It's called Comedian Feud.

It's like Family Feud, though.

It's just ripping off Family Feud.

Just here's a little secret.

It's ripping friends.

It's just Family Feud.

It's just comedians, though.

So should I call the Mark Goodman Bill Todson productions?

Aren't you excited?

I am excited.

It's going to be fun.

And I've never been to that theater before.

Me neither.

Which I'm looking forward to.

Although I might be doing something there tonight.

I don't remember where the show is.

What theater is it?

The Palace?

The Elysian.

Oh.

The Elysian.

Interesting.

I'm doing an improv show tonight, and it will be my first time besides my One Wild Horses show doing a show with an audience.

How do you feel about that?

I feel excited.

You know, having had COVID-19, the novel Kanana by Ma, I feel much more at ease right now about doing something.

Because you're in the 90-day window.

Yeah.

My name is Do you think that's the naval kanana virus?

Yeah, and that was really scary.

Because you want a boat?

Because I was on the boat.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So excited.

We'll see.

I'm going to have fun, I think.

I think you're going to be.

But I'm tired.

You know, I'm finding that I'm doing some more.

I'm having some more days that feel pre-pandemic-y where I'm like doing like four things in a day.

I know.

And I'm going like, woo.

Let me tell you something,

girlfriend.

Last night we had tickets to go see a show.

We had tickets to show.

We had tickets to show.

Ho, hoes.

And this is a new segment on freedom.

But we did.

We don't go.

We did.

Oh,

baby, no go.

This is a different segment.

We were both very tired.

And I was like, what if we just bailed on this?

What if we don't?

And you're like, wait a minute.

For the past two years, we haven't been able to do anything.

Exactly.

So what was the show?

The show was the very funny Sam Pancake.

Oh, yes, I think.

Was doing

a one-person show at

this weird little theater space that I'd

heard about, but had never been to before.

There's a restaurant called Casito del Campo.

Oh, yeah, basement.

I went to see the Golden Girls that Sam was.

Yes, I wish so.

So, does Sam ever leave that place?

No, I think he lives there.

Weird.

He got lost.

He can't, because it's kind of confusing with the stairs.

And as the audience was leaving, he's like, please, take me with you.

You have to walk.

It's like fucking when you go down the stairs to get out, you have to go up them.

Oh, he doesn't know the concept of up yet?

I don't think he should watch that movie.

Yeah, well, it's a big concept in that movie.

Oh, yeah.

It doesn't make him too sad.

I think he got it because at the end of the show, he wanted somebody to pick him up.

He was going, Uppies, uppies.

Being picked up isn't going to be a good idea.

Yeah, he could do it if he wasn't sure.

So he's sort of, he's almost there.

I think he'll be out soon.

He's raised up above the ground, which is one step of putting your feet on stairs.

Yeah.

So, did you feel, Paul, did you feel better for having gone after you?

I'm so glad I went.

Yeah.

And I was very tired.

It is weird.

We kept our masks on.

You can leave your mask on.

We kept them on.

And it was,

so it was like, and of course, the fucking, when I would laugh, it would fog up my glasses and making me.

Could you have taken your glasses off?

I did.

I periodically would take them off, then I would readjust the mask.

Yeah.

How haven't you figured this out yet?

I don't know.

Two years in.

Priority should be fixing it so people with glasses can wear masks.

They fix iPhones to where you can unlock them with a mask on.

Yeah.

I know, I still didn't set that up.

Unlock them with a mask on.

But they,

so many masks that I fell for, that were like the ultimate for glasses wearers.

And it's like they were.

There's none that I fell for.

I thought you meant romantically.

I'm in love with this mask.

Janie and I went through a rough patch, and I was involved with a mask.

Janey should have opened up her heart.

Not the mask.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

If you fucked the mask, I think you would probably go sideways.

That thing gets higher.

Dude, if you fucked the mask,

I would be high-fiving you so fucking hard right now.

Dude, because that would be like the coolest.

That would be the funniest fuck of all time.

I wish I'd never told you guys that I was romantically attracted to the mask because this is...

Is it the green color?

It's everything.

There's a lot of people who would fuck Jim Carrey as the mask.

Yeah.

That is true.

Do you think he ever did it?

Do you think he ever did it?

Well, you know, he had the makeup on.

It was hard to take off.

Sometimes he probably had his girlfriend visit and they fucked.

Do you think he worked the shaft?

He would do voices when he would have sex?

I hope so.

Why do you like that?

He probably has.

For sure, he has.

Do you think it's been requested or he just provided that?

Oh, no, that'd be a real huge bummer.

That's like asking someone to do a cameo while they're fucking you.

What if we moved on to someone I don't respect?

Like Dave Coulier?

Do you think he did?

Like when

he was him, he was a mind-fantastic star of full house.

When she went down on him in the middle of dinner,

do you think he was going, I couldn't do it.

No, it was in the middle of a theater.

In the middle of the theater.

She wouldn't do that during dinner.

You could do it, depending on the length of the tablecloth.

You can do it.

You can fit two meats in one mouth.

Put his dick is a mashed potatoes.

You can't fit two meats in one mouth.

Jesus.

And anyway, that's not even true.

Never been to a barbecue yet.

I've eaten a hot dog and chicken at the same time.

Yeah.

Or like chicken.

A hot dog grabs him bacon.

It's already there.

It all goes to the same place.

Your butt?

Your butt.

I'll cut up a steak, and then I'll cut up like bits of, I don't know, like venison, and I'll mash them all together.

I'll cut up veal.

I'll cut up.

I'll eat veal and a pork chop.

I'll eat veal in a pork chop.

You're right.

I'll cut up

some cut up, some like young chicken meat.

Young chicken meat.

Trying to get that veal experience.

Hey, young chicken meat.

If you're listening, please, we want to help your song go to number one.

Young chicken meat's new hit single,

anti-vaxed or die-trying.

Young chicken in the corn.

Chicken in the corn.

Ticket corncast.

chicken in the nibblets

lauren are you are you feeling tired do you think because of of changes in your body due to having a baby i would say so and i would say the schedule changes that also come with that yes and then the fact that i had the covet which i think also maybe i was but i was already tired like this i think that i am tired because i get up at five yeah every day and i don't stop moving pretty much all day and then i have to do other things and work and use my brain.

You're pretty much around a 5 a.m.

Wordle sender.

Yep, yep.

And you're up.

You're up there, too.

Today was a 4 a.m.

Yeah.

I mean, I got to sleep in today.

So I actually didn't do my wordley.

Was Holly at your house?

Yeah.

She just says she loves it there.

Yeah.

She didn't know we could share.

I just wanted to sleep in.

Yeah.

No, this was a real like...

4 a.m.

Oh, no, I'm not getting back to sleep.

And then, so then,

you know, I know eventually I will.

And today was 8 a.m.

to 10 a.m.

Yeah, I think I did my Wordle around 6.45.

And then I was told I could keep sleeping.

Oh, how nice.

By Holly.

Yeah.

Her face.

Go back to bed, baby.

I'm good with these toys.

We got it to get out.

But yeah.

She's just the best.

So is she sleeping in a more regular time?

She does sleep without.

She was for a long time doing one wake-up in the middle of the night.

Now she is not.

She does not do that anymore.

But she might wake up at 5:45 or 6:45 or 7.

So it's kind of, we see, but so some days it's really early.

Okay.

Yeah, but she's doing great.

When's she go to school where you can forget about all this?

It's going to be in about five years.

Oh, man.

Five years from now?

No, I guess it'll.

I mean, you know, I guess preschool.

Yeah.

But.

No, no, no, no, no.

Hold it in.

Oh, my God.

Paul's about.

No, no, no, no, no, Paul.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Paul.

You can't

see it.

Not on this show.

Not on this show.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Push it out of you.

Push it out.

Oh, God, he's shaking me.

He's making my nose itch.

Did I shake when I blew my nose?

Yeah, you literally were like,

your whole head was like vibrating.

I did not know that that happened.

And your tail went all crazy.

Well, because I sensed danger.

And your wings.

Oh, my God.

They were flat.

Your wings on your head.

All right, we have to take a break.

We'll be right back with more three noses.

Bye.

It's back to school season.

School season, little boys and girls.

But you know what's not on the shillabush this year?

Tell me, getting schooled by your old wireless bill.

I agree, that's why I made the switch to Mint Mobile.

Well, well, with Mint, you can get the coverage and speed you're used to, but for way less money.

And for a limited time, Mint Mobile is offering three months of unlimited premium wireless service for only $15 a a month.

So while your friends are flunking out with data overages and surprise charges, you will be aging your budget literally and financially.

So say bye-bye to your overpriced wireless plans.

Draw draw dropping, draw-dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages.

Mint Mobile's here to rescue you.

All plans come with the high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network.

Use your own phone with any Mint mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts.

Since switching to Mint, I have noticed no difference in the wireless service compared to my old provider.

And at a fraction of the cost, it is a no-brainer.

With all the money I'm saving, I can finally live out my fall fantasy of getting a pumpkin spice latte every single day.

Do I want whipped cream for 50 cents more?

Yes, please.

This one's on Mint.

Get out of here, you young whippersnapper.

So ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of unlimited service from Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month.

Get this new customer offer and your three-month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash threedom.

That's mintmobile.com/slash threedom.

Upfront payment of $45 required, equivalent to $15 a month.

Limited time new customer offer for first three months only.

Speeds may slow above 35 GB on unlimited plan.

Taxes and fees, extra C-mint mobile for details.

NGB stands for gigabytes.

Cooler temps are rolling in.

Dude, doo dah.

And as always, Quince is where I'm turning for fall staples that actually last from cashmere to denim to boots.

I've seen you so furious.

I'm mad, but I'm getting happier.

The quality holds up, and the price still blows me away.

Quince has the kind of fall staples you'll wear non-stop: like super soft, 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters starting at 60.

I gotta ask you about their denim.

Okay, well, their denim's durable and it fits right.

What about leather jackets?

They are real and they bring that clean, classic edge without the elevated price tag.

Sounds good.

What makes Quince different?

Hey, everyone.

Oh, hey, well, they partner directly with ethical factories and skip the middlemen.

So you get top-tier fabrics and craftsmanship at half the price of similar brands.

Can I hear some personal experience from you?

Because I'm still still a little skeptical for some reason.

Well, one of my favorite pieces from Quince is their 100% Merino Wool All-Season Short-Sleeve Tea.

Now, I've been trying to incorporate more natural fibers into my wardrobe, as I'm telling you all the time.

And wool totally fits the bill.

It's naturally heat-regulating, so it helps keep you warm in winter, cool in summer.

The perfect thing for this in-between season.

Now, I've been wearing mine so much, I just ordered one in another color.

I want to keep it classic and cool this fall.

Do you have any suggestions?

You should do that with long-lasting staples from Quince.

Go to quince.com/slash threedom for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

No, that's great.

How do you spell it?

I was going to say

365-day returns is amazing because if you're like me, sometimes you forget to return something.

Yes, and you have to.

And when you miss the window.

Like 200 days in, you might be like, I got to return it.

Honestly, I've done that before.

That's q-u-in-ce-e.com/slash threedom.

Free shipping and 365-day returns.

Quince.com/slash threedom.

Want to listen to your favorite Lemonada shows without the ads?

Subscribe to Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts.

You'll get ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content from shows like Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis Dreyfus, Fail Better with David DeCovny, The Sarah Silverman Podcast, and so many more.

It's a great way to support the work we do and treat yourself to a smoother, uninterrupted listening experience.

Just head to any Lemonada show feed on Apple Podcasts and hit subscribe.

Make life suck less with fewer fewer ads with Lemonata Premium.

And we're back.

And may I just say, Paul brought the Blackest Banana.

It's on our seat.

It's on its last legs.

You are, it's really like within the hour, it's going to be two panels.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

It's going to be good.

Blackest banana.

Wow.

You really did.

There was a club in Philadelphia called the Black Banana.

Who was there?

It was like an after-hours club.

Ooh, after which hours?

The hours of 1 p.m.

and 2 p.m.

But after one and after two.

After one and after two.

If you would get there after one, they would say, you're a little early.

Come back after two.

Now, what's your perfect banana visual?

You know, when do you know it's just right for you?

For me, it's got to be the yellowest it can be.

No, it's got to be the yellow.

Yeah, me too.

Yellowest.

If there's a little bit of green at the top, at the stalk.

Yeah, I'm okay with that.

I'll try it.

But when you, man, when it's not ready and you bite.

I hate that.

I've never been into a banana that's not ready.

What?

Never.

It's always been ready for me.

What a privileged life you must lead.

I actually think that's wrong.

What?

I hate you.

Oh, my date.

The littlest.

I had a banana today that was

fantastic.

Why do people listen to this?

It had a little bit of green.

Some people like them green and raw.

And some people like them sloppy brown.

I don't want that.

And I don't get the whole put it in the freezer to make bread.

Fuck you.

You're not sweet.

I'll buy my banana bread.

Yeah, exactly.

Thank you very much.

Do you guys?

This is what I do.

Any bruises, I cut them out.

Wow, you're such a baby.

Take it easy.

What a fucking baby.

Any brown?

Any brown?

No, I don't like it.

Sometimes I'll give them to the dog.

Sometimes I'll bite around it.

What?

Come on, guys.

It's going to be a really sloppy duty.

I just, I don't like the sloppy duty.

But Scott's

like, cut off the crust.

Cut off the crust of my banana.

Please, mommy.

Banana blown.

You guys probably eat the little stick at the bottom.

Love it.

It's the best part.

The bottom?

You're talking about fucking.

What do you call it?

A stick at the bottom?

Yeah.

Of a banana?

You know the little thing at the bottom?

The seed?

I actually never get there.

I always pick about a quarter of an inch of the banana at the bottom.

You fucking.

You're the weirdest.

And every once in a while,

the whole thing will pop out, and I go, God, dang.

You're the weirdest of us all.

No, I'm not.

You're the most wasteful, that's for sure.

Well, I'm so sorry.

He's throwing away pure scoops.

Well, you're leaving good banana on the table.

This guy's just persnickety.

I just stop when I stop.

And you don't get a stop.

Is one banana too much for you?

Should they sell shorter bananas for Laura?

You know, they do.

They do make little bananas.

When you see those little ones, I think, no, no, no.

No.

You're talking about penises, right?

When they're

size queen.

No, yeah.

Sometimes you see those and you just think, it's a no for me today, but I'm sure some.

It's a no for me, dog.

Yeah.

And for this reason, I'm out.

Randy.

Randy, is he still around?

God, I think, I thought he was touring with a band that I thought was good, but I can't

do it.

Oh, yeah, because you play with Journey.

I forget what he's doing.

You play with Journey for a musician.

Yeah, yeah.

I forgot.

Other than a personality.

I thought he was a manager.

No, he was a bass player.

Dang.

And a session musician.

He was great.

I think at the time I knew that.

And as time has passed, I stopped knowing that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I felt weird.

I was always stopping.

I was once on a flight with him.

Really?

And I was getting off the plane.

And you knew everything would be okay.

You were on a journey with him.

True.

True.

And I was getting off the plane.

And as I approached the exit, I saw him at the front.

He was in first class, Natch.

Yeah.

And

people asked him to take a picture, and it was of Red Eye.

And so this was like,

fucking.

Yes.

And then he did it.

He was really nice.

But then when you got up to the front, did he say, and do you have anything you want to say to me?

Yes.

And I said, I looked him square in the glasses and I said, it's a no for me, dog.

How many times do people say that dog?

Did you laugh a lot?

He laughed so much.

He laughed so much, they call the air market.

And just to be clear, he stayed in his seat.

He stayed in his seat while people were getting off the plane until everyone was in so he would make sure to be seen by everyone.

Well, what I realized later was there must have been a chain of people taking pictures.

There must have been a chain of people.

Are you asking me questions just to set you up for songs?

I wish you knew Fleetwood Masks.

The chain.

Fleetwood mask?

Oh, that's Jim Gary's.

Ah, this is Fleetwood Mask cover band.

Where he dresses as the masks.

And then the Stevie Nick's wedding.

Thunder only happens when it's raining.

Rienan!

But he closes with Cuban Pete.

Yeah, of course.

Well, everyone wants the hint.

Yeah, absolutely.

I don't like flying flying with celebrities.

I didn't realize I said that.

You don't like flying with celebrities.

I don't like flying.

Did I ever tell you the thing that I did that was like totally, I didn't know I said it.

What?

But like, I was recording an ad or something.

And I was like, I'm sure I've told the story, but I was like just at home.

I'll do a tune out then.

And I was like,

well, I said it's in my Twitter bio, blah, blah, blah.

And then Mike was like, that's funny you did that as Tracy Riordan.

And I was like, what?

And he was like, why are you like, you were doing that ad as Tracy Reardon?

He was like, you said Twitter bio.

And I was like, no, I did it.

And then I listened back and I did.

But I would have just sent it like that.

It's in my Twito bio.

Twito bio.

Twitter bio.

But to not even know you said it.

But I don't like terrifying.

I don't like flying with celebrities because

I feel like a plane is more likely to go down when a celebrity is on it.

Don't you think?

No, no, no.

I think you're safe.

Like when he saw Randy, I thought, it's all good here.

Really?

When the plane landed, I thought, we're okay.

But you know, all those famous

planes that go down with celebrities?

You see the celebrities gonna be on the the plane and then they're going to say, so-and-so died.

And then

a little bit later will be like, and Scott.

No, I don't see that.

There's not that many, actually.

Well, there's the big one.

I mean, honestly, if you died,

you can't care about that.

You wouldn't care.

I don't know.

Really?

Even if you were an angel, you'd say, it's okay.

I don't care.

You're an angel.

You go right to angel status?

I hope you're not going to be worried about that petty bullshit.

I have angel status

in heaven.

I've rebooked.

I can go in the lounge.

I mean, how many celebrities have died on planes?

Four.

Oh, my God.

Almost Seth McFarland.

Aaliyah.

Almost Seth McFarland.

Almost Seth McFarland.

Almost doesn't count.

No, except in horseshoes and hand grenades.

But you got, okay, so you got the big three.

The big bopper.

Richie Fallon.

And Buddy Holly.

And Buddy Holly.

Yeah.

You got Patsy Klein.

Oh, yeah.

You got Randy Rhodes.

Oh, did he?

I mean, that was a weird one where the plane was buzzing the tour bus or something.

You got

to say,

okay.

What about

the president of the Aaliyah Fan Club?

What about Two-Face?

Now, what's her name from TLC?

That wasn't a plane crash.

No, that wasn't a plane crash, was it?

What was it?

And what's her name?

You can't talk about left-eye.

Lisa, left-eye Lopez.

We got trouble everyone.

At least left-eye Lopez.

We've gotten in trouble every time we've said a name of anyone and followed up with a fact or what we believe to be a fact.

We can't talk about anyone anyway.

And Stephen Van Zandt, did he have no signal this time?

Oh, from Leonard?

It was like, no, wait.

It's not him.

It's

Steve Rayvon.

I'm sorry.

Oh.

It was a helicopter, I think.

Was it Stevie Rayvon or?

PV Rayvon?

PV PayPon.

PV Poupon?

PV Grave.

PV Poupon.

You do have any PV Poupon.

Well, we don't know.

We'd never know.

She died in a car accident.

Lisa Left.

I love Peters.

Are you taking a picture of the Wi-Fi password?

I'm logging in.

She's logging into it because she has too much stuff she has to look up.

I am the resident Googler.

It's true.

This used to be stuff that Shevin

put in the chat.

But see, here's the thing.

It's like this password is bananas.

And we need to make it.

Your password on Wi-Fi should be like cheese.

Yeah.

Stop trying to be like, it's 1291 exclamation.

Like, stop trying to be something that no one can log into.

All these businesses leech off of the wine.

But who's going to think she's been guessing cheese?

You know what I mean?

That's true.

I've cracked it.

I can't believe they used cheese.

They've been guessing W-Y-X-P-M.

All right.

Shevin has sent us a comprehensive list

of notable celebrities who have died in aircraft.

In the personal chat?

Why do we want this?

I feel this is a scary conversation.

We have John Denver.

Yes.

We've forgotten about John Denver.

I just heard the best John Denver song the other day.

Which one?

Rocky Mountain High.

I mean, it wasn't.

Didn't Get Drunk This Christmas.

It wasn't one of the super famous ones, but I loved it.

It was so dramatic.

Let me see if I can find it.

Hold on.

What did it make you feel?

I just was like, wow, this is this is a

I was like, this is a

sound from him.

I think this is it.

Okay, do you want me to play it?

Yeah, I do.

This is The Eagle and the Hawk.

All right, The Eagle and the Hawk by John Denver.

Hit the goalpost.

This is The Eagle and the Hawk by John Denver here on Threedom.

And we also want to say that if you're out there and you are related to John Denver, we're sorry to bring up all of these terrible memories about him dying in a plane crash, but I'm sure you've heard his music since then at least once or twice.

We can't be the first time that you've ever heard it.

But here he is.

This is The Eagle and the Hawk on Threedom.

Turn it off.

Turn it off.

Turn it off.

Turn it off.

Listen to this, though.

It's great.

It's very soaring and sweeping.

Yeah.

I've been fitting an eagle and or a hawk.

Yeah.

It's good.

Can I say it feels a little derivative of his other song, Calypso?

Oh, yeah, Calypso.

Which is a great song.

That's a great song.

That's a great fucking song.

He doesn't get his due.

Do you know what else he is right now?

We love you, buddy.

The West Virginia song, Country Roads, is a great fucking song.

Grandma's Featherbed?

I don't know that one.

That doesn't sound good.

It doesn't sound good.

It sounds gross.

Is it about his grandma having sex?

Is it about when you pee in the feather bed?

It stays.

It stays.

Okay, here's some more people.

John F.

Kennedy Jr.

Yes, of course.

On my feather bed.

I'm a feather bed.

Roberto Clemente.

Oh, yeah.

Stevie Rayvon.

You're right.

Yes.

Steve Rayvon.

Jim Croce.

Yeah, Bad Bad Leroy Brown.

Yeah.

Payne Stewart.

I don't know who that is.

Golfer.

Golfers don't count.

Golfers don't count as celebrities.

It's really true, though.

Yeah.

Troy Gentry.

Who's this?

Of the landed gentry?

Of Montgomery Gentry, the country music duo.

So that, you know, it happens.

Not as much as you would think.

No, it's not.

Ow.

And then, and John F.

Kennedy Jr.

didn't count because

he did it to himself.

And he's also still alive as

Fusco.

I'm going right right now.

Plus, he's still alive

during this.

Because people are going to tag me and shit.

No, he's still alive.

Brian said, guess what?

I didn't say.

That is my favorite thing is when people forget who said what.

Yeah, I didn't say anything.

Yeah, we got, we got, both, you and me got both tarred with the same brush recently for something to ball brother.

I don't want to draw it.

I'm saying, I don't know about this and I don't like this.

But you know that John F.

Kennedy Jr.

is still alive, right?

I'm not speaking on this.

You know that he's still alive.

And he's going going to.

You know that JFK Jr.

is still alive and he will eventually overthrow the government and become a new person.

You know this.

You know this.

You know this.

You say it all the time.

I'm not speaking.

I'm not speaking.

I'm not speaking.

What a dumb country.

Can you believe it?

Like, how did that get started?

Like, one person said it once and people decided

how everything works.

I guess.

Do you think there's a conspiracy for every single death that is ever like any

notable person thinks something is not true about everything?

Yeah.

I'm sure someone thinks something is not true about everything.

Yeah, definitely pencils.

I'm trying to think of like whose death is.

Definitely pencils.

I'm trying to argue.

What is that fucking

snap that says random words behind it?

It said rubiganous.

I don't know what that means.

Rubiganist.

Empenelist.

Rubigamist?

Empanel?

What are these words?

Concerted.

That one I know.

That's if Rupa was a bigamist?

Seed.

What the fuck is that?

Concerted.

It's got dictionary.

It's just words from the dictionary.

So now we're just looking at screensavers.

So Earwolf is trying to make you guys learn new words all the time.

Colin's like, if your vocabulary isn't increased by one per day, and I won't be quizzing you.

And sorry, chaps, you've got to improve your vocabulary.

Your vocab.

Impanel.

Do you know the word?

Impanel.

I love that he's just the old man.

Please to form a panel.

Impanel.

Impanel.

Impanel now.

Do you think this is our most disjointed episode?

I don't know.

It's just great to be back together with you guys.

I think one of...

Okay, Impanel.

I want to hear on the panel.

I think it's Impanel.

It's not Impanel.

Just stop.

What word did you say on the Marvel New Covers episode?

What did I say?

Impanel.

Impanel.

impanel oh that sounds familiar is that what you said yes

impanel impanel

you have a degree in english yeah but i was i was like seeing it out of context it should be to get an engine

it means to enroll someone onto a jury i get impaneled impaneled yeah okay but yeah what did they say i would say to get a degree in english you should have to pronounce every single word in the dictionary correctly i was reading something it was zilots oh yeah yeah yeah

but but you know why I think I thought that because there's this Black Elicious song, and at the end he goes, Z-Lots.

And I thought it just in my head is that, yeah.

Why is he saying that it's alphabet aerobics?

Oh.

And at the end, he goes, gets to Z, and he says, Z.

But

maybe I'm wrong.

How's that?

No, Zealot.

No, Zealots.

Zealots.

Yeah, that's okay.

That is correct.

But I said it wrong when I first read it.

But I thought,

but I also was reading it because it was like a Marvel character.

Yes,

I gave Lauren the out of like

it's the gibberish that you're reading in a Marvel Nicole and I can barely get through those summaries.

Yeah, I thought

for years I thought it was black pant her.

Why is he wearing what are his powers?

Black pants.

The hook?

What?

What did you say?

The incredible hook.

The incredible hook.

I just thought you went

goofy.

Fucking goofy.

What the fuck are you doing?

Hey, I played him.

I know.

Did you have sympathy for him because you played him as a character?

I know.

He was so.

I should like sort of, you know, say some words about how we're not going to hear helicopters anymore.

I'm sorry, everyone, about your helicopter.

Let's do a sad version of the helicopter thing.

Perfect.

He's looking for someone.

He's looking for someone.

He's looking for someone.

Helicopter.

Wow.

Yeah.

Or how about this?

That got me in the feels.

Oh no.

He found him.

Oh,

we're in heaven.

La la la la la la.

That's like the Entertainment Tonight theme.

Anytime anyone dies, I feel like Entertainment Tonight.

It always is like,

about it.

But then if someone dies, it's

so funny.

It's so funny.

That show's still on.

Why?

You can get your Entertainment News so much easier than having to watch I should have liked TV news when that stuff's on TV.

We watch it every once in a while, like Inside Edition and whatever.

Do you know who looks terrific?

Deborah Norville.

Who's that?

She's the host of Inside Edition.

Wasn't she like a newscaster from back in the day?

She's been around forever.

She looks crazy.

In what way?

Like sexually?

Yeah.

Deborah Norville.

She arouses me.

You creep.

Hey, my wife is also aroused by her.

Deborah, what?

We just watched your hall past your mutual hall past.

Oh, man.

I want to fuck Deborah Norville.

That's us through the hole.

That's a step.

We can't talk about real people on the show.

Why?

Because we will forever be indebted to you.

Someone who knows Deborah Norville will write to us and say, I was really offended.

How about that?

My wife.

I feel that overlap is so, so slim.

I'm willing to take that chance so we can talk about Deborah Norville.

I think it's okay.

Also, it's a compliment.

It's a compliment that you want to fuck someone.

Why is everyone so sensitive now?

It's a compliment.

Lauren, come on.

I've been

at peak performance for the last 60 minutes.

Lauren is bouncing back and forth.

We've only been doing this

35.

You're bouncing back and forth between absolute chaos and total shutdown.

I know.

It's really the way my brain feels.

You were on a plane yesterday, though, weren't you?

No, I was on a plane on...

Oh, no, the rain.

The grudge.

What day was it?

Thursday.

Well, then get it together, my dear girl.

My dear boy.

Can I tell you something?

I'm mad at myself for saying the ring first when it was the grudge that I meant.

Yeah, but it's the same thing.

Hey,

really?

Because only one has the noise.

Yeah.

No shit.

Bring the grudge, bring the noise.

Bring the grudge, bring the noise.

Yeah, I love that song.

What if it was called Doug Rudge?

Would it have been a good thing?

When is popular?

Doug Rudge.

Doug Rudge.

We made a urban remake.

About what, Lauren?

I was just thinking about something you wouldn't get.

Okay.

us.

Oh, try us.

Don't censor yourself because we wouldn't get us.

Try us, Millennial.

Is it about center parts?

No, it's about Doug Funny.

Doug Funny?

Who the fuck is that?

You nailed it.

Don't know what that is.

I don't want to know who Doug Funny.

Go ahead.

Tell us who Doug Funny is.

He's a cartoon character from Nickelodeon in the 90s.

Wow.

And when you said Doug Rudge, I thought one of his last name was Rudge, and he was Doug Rudge.

Wait, I'm familiar with the cartoon character Doug.

Doug Rudge from Funny?

Yeah.

What?

Well, his girlfriend's name is Patty Manny's.

What?

I didn't know that.

Yeah.

I just know Doug as a barely drawn character whose name was Doug.

You know,

Austrian Doug.

His last name is funny.

And you're no Doug.

I'm two minutes behind.

And you, sir, are no Doug.

Roger.

What was Roger's name?

Rabbit.

Kevin.

Federer.

Roger Kevin.

Dodger.

Okay, we're going to take a break and we're going to get

Lauren turned into a yawning ghost.

Trauma game.

Okay.

Okay, a game.

Yeah, from Pac-Man.

No.

But maybe.

Yeah.

But it's from.

Maybe.

Maybe.

I don't know.

For me, it's from when you kill the ducks in duck hunt and then that dog gets up and laughs.

Duh what?

Duh hunt.

No, come on.

All right.

Look, let's take a break.

Let's regroup.

All right.

Slap different.

Different groups?

Slap.

When we come back, three other people will be here.

Slapping to base.

Okay, fine.

There's so much advice out there, and all we want to do as parents is get it right.

The great news is, you're the expert on your child, and sometimes figuring out what they need is as simple as getting them to talk.

I'm Dr.

Susan Swick, a child and adolescent psychiatrist, and I'm also a mother of four.

On my new podcast, Talk Aboutable, I'll hear from parents about what's keeping them up at night.

And we'll figure out how to tackle it by talking about it.

From Lemonada Media, Talk Aboutable is at September 9th.

Follow wherever you get your podcasts.

And we're back.

Yep, we're back.

We're back.

Lauren just blew my mind because she had a little between

segment snack.

Animal crackers with chocolate chips in them?

And you know, they're from

Whole Foods and they're really good.

They're the 365 labels.

I'm going to say that there's something about them that I love.

And I don't know if they're like.

Is this a commercial?

Is it because they're cookies?

Are we in the middle of a commercial?

What I love is that they're cookies.

And what I also love is that

they have sugar in them.

There's something

I can't explain it fully, but I feel that the chocolate chips are cold.

Really?

May I have one?

Yeah.

So now

you think that the cookie is at room temperature, but the chocolate chip is is cold.

There's something chilly about these chips.

Okay,

break it in half.

This is a commercial.

All right, or just give it to me.

Oh, my God.

Oh, good.

Someone talk while this happens.

La la la la.

La la la la la la la la.

Be good, be good.

Be good, be good.

There's a cold burst that comes in.

It reminds me of Chips Ahoy chips.

Exactly what I was thinking of, too.

Do you think the chocolate chips are at a different temperature just naturally?

They're resting.

They're on a different level than the rest of us.

I feel like they're like, oh, they're for a lifeleng.

But you know what I mean?

Like, if

you're operating on it, it's not like chocolate, chocolate.

Right, it's naturally cold.

At room temperature is like two degrees colder.

I think so.

Yeah.

I think that's what I'm getting.

Paul, that's what that movie 28 Grams was about.

Do you have a three chair for us?

Yeah, I fucking do.

Yeah, we'll get it together.

Let's do it.

Where do you get a load of this?

And it's not me, the Joker.

This was submitted by

he was embarrassed on a previous episode of Freedom.

We should do a different one.

Should we get closer?

Like read it this time and then we do a different game and then next time we'll do his.

That's what I mean.

KP Thomas, sorry about the mix-up before, but you're a big boy and you'll get over it.

Or you're a big girl.

I have no idea what you are or who you are.

I love you.

So.

KP gives us this.

Press junket.

One person is a movie star doing a press junket for a made-up movie.

One person is an interviewer from a random local news station.

And the other person is the star's handler trying to keep the interview on track.

Love it.

Now,

we should add

something to it, right?

Yeah, something.

Wait, something to this.

What if we do that other game I was telling you about last time, which is

it's the one where you guess a celebrity based on questions.

So you're trying to figure out who the celebrity is.

Yeah, sorry, KP.

Okay, got it.

No, it's the same thing, though.

But we'll do the press junk it, but the interviewer has to guess who the celebrity is.

Oh, right.

But then what does the handler get?

Or maybe the handler has to guess who the celebrity is.

That's what it is.

We'll decide who the celebrity is.

Like, if I'm the celebrity.

How does that work?

Because we'll be having this conversation about a made-up movie.

And then the questions you ask will be like sort of leading Lauren into who the celebrity is.

i swear this is gonna work so different than what i'm saying i don't give one shit

i'm saying something totally different are you i feel like it's are we just gonna abandon this kp person

i tell you what kp you're not impressing you're on kitchen patrol what i'm

saying

is the game

you in your head think of a celebrity yeah and then i say what kind of shoes are you you're oh i remember this now and then you'd say this is a different thing what and You know,

example.

But are you saying layer that on top of KP's suggestions?

No, no, no, no.

You're just saying abandon KP's?

We're not abandoning KP.

KP gets left over here.

I know, but I think it would be funny.

It's very tempting.

Let's do it.

I was literally acting out.

Let me just set everything straight here.

Yeah.

I was acting out a scenario that you just requested where we abandoned the game again.

And I didn't know that.

Out of humor, I said that.

And you have a heartless outlook where you think I'm telling the truth and you're willing to do do it.

Kevin marked it on his editing.

To do it?

To cut on the part where we said we're going to be able to do it.

Do it right.

I watched the mark and I thought, we're doing this.

We're going.

No.

We're cutting KP again.

It's not happening.

And then you said, oh, I don't like this game that you're saying, even though I wanted you to do this.

And actually, let's match it with KP's.

I'm like, wow, I'm really trying to fight you.

I can't imagine having this kind of thing.

Can I be the tiebreaker here?

Kind of personality.

It's a blast.

It is inconceivable to me.

It's really fun.

Well, I had a bubble in my throat.

What about?

Oh no.

Why don't we add something to KP's thing?

Well, I don't want to do this.

I do want to play Lauren's game.

I'll just play KP's game if y'all fuckers want to do it.

Why don't we do it the way I find it?

Could I finish my god game?

Can't finish, can I finish?

Can I finish, can I finish?

Can I finish?

Can I finish?

Can I finish?

Can I finish?

Can I finish?

Can I finish?

Right.

Come on, KP.

Can I finish?

I do want to play Lauren's game.

What if we decide we're going to play that next episode right now?

Okay.

And then we do abandon KP's idea for this week.

KP, send us something different.

KP, send us something different.

With one more level.

Put one more level on it.

Yeah, make it.

Honestly, the level I suggested would work.

It would, but it's similar to other games.

So if you come up with a new level, it's going to

make any sense at all.

You weren't even listening.

Actually, I wasn't.

I was trying to map it onto what I already said, and yet it made no sense.

So, KP, once again, you have lost.

I'm so

sorry.

You're out.

No, not forever.

You have another chance to redeem me.

Yes.

One more chance, and then we're abandoning you forever.

Freedomusa at gmail.com.

So sorry.

All right.

So what are we doing?

We got to get to reading.

Why don't you guys fucking talk?

You love to do it.

Oh, really?

You know that I'm totally silent every time I'm not on a podcast.

It's weird.

I wish you wouldn't do that.

I took a vow of silence with podcast exceptions.

We went on vacation together.

I know.

It was uncomfortable.

Just staring at you.

Thank you, Olivia, for the pins.

Thank you, Olivia, for the pins.

Just want to say real quick, thank you, Olivia, for the pins.

Mikey, for the pins.

Thank you so much.

We love your pins.

You listened to Mommy.

Oh, no, please, Queen from March 19th.

Now, I'm going to guess that was 2019.

Yeah, 2019.

Boy, man, a lot of great mail from 2019.

And then nothing.

And it's like everyone stopped for two years, like they weren't going to be here.

It's like the mail was still working pretty famously in 2020.

Postal Service.

I spent a couple hundred bucks on stamps to keep this shit going.

And my good buddy Louis DeJoy,

he was keeping everything flowing.

I'm so glad you said DeJoy.

Bring to noise, bring to joy.

This is a game.

There's no name on this one.

What?

Anonymous?

Is it from you, Kevin?

No.

He says, he shakes his head.

No.

Maybe it's Anonymous, that guy who wrote all those great quotes.

Oh, man.

And that great book.

Yeah, and he wears that mask.

This is a game called Sail Away.

Sail Away.

This ain't this.

Maybe.

This may be the person's name.

Okay.

Wobber blobble.

Wobber blobble.

Yeah, wobble.

That's what they listed as their name.

Come on.

Wobber blobble.

Thank you for this.

And congratulations.

You tricked me into saying your name.

Don't say it two more times.

For this three-hour, there are two salespeople and one person who is purchasing a boat.

Each salesperson is trying your best to sell their boat to the customer.

But each salesperson is also allowed to say three things about the other salesperson's boat that have to be true.

Okay.

And we count them off, like on our fingers, so that we know when we're out.

I think we can use fingies.

I guess it's like,

it's just not denying what the other person says.

Yes.

And so then the the customer can decide which boat sounds better after that.

Yeah, great.

Do you want to buy the boat since you have the captain's hat on?

Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah.

Okay.

Checks out.

All right.

Did you say checks mix?

Yeah, I did.

I'm so hungry.

Bold party mix, best one ever missing the crackers now.

I think the salt once.

Bold party mix robot activate.

I wish they had the Ritz crackers still, but they took those out, but that was the best part when they got covered in the dust.

Did their deal with Ritz expire?

I don't freaking know.

I think think it was an acrimonious split.

I think the salt on pretzels is two degrees hotter than everything.

You ever eat a pretzel and you're like,

this pretzel is making me hot.

That's why I blow on my pretzels before I eat them.

I blow on everything before I eat it.

I eat an ice cream.

I blow everything before I eat it.

All of my food is dirty.

You blow everything and then I eat it.

I actually just had to sell myself.

I did something disgusting.

Come on, let's sell this guy a boat.

Okay.

Oh, my.

Oh, my God.

Hey, sir.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Hi.

Is that your cell phone?

Yeah.

What?

I'm about to buy you.

Hey, I'm trying to sell you a boat right now on the phone.

Okay.

I've got a great boat.

Hey, excuse me, sir.

I'm in a boat store.

Is my

speaker?

Is my associate trying to call you before I can talk to you?

Yes.

Yes, if I can.

And sell you a boat.

Did I always get to you?

I always get to them right before you do.

It's called.

She's right behind this partition.

Just come out.

Hello.

Okay, you look like a little gnome.

Well, because I'm trying to do a Wizard of Oz type thing.

Oh, type thing?

In life?

Where I kind of people were.

They were munchkins, not gnomes.

No, but because I you didn't know.

That was a whole thing, I guess.

I was hiding behind a partition.

Oh, so that part was like the Wizard of Oz type thing.

But he said you look like a gnome.

That's unrelated.

That's how he perceives me.

And you're wearing a homemade Shazam costume.

Yeah.

Unfortunately, I couldn't get the Thunderbolt quite right.

I gotta sell you a boat.

Oh, you got my attention.

Hey.

I gotta sell you a boat.

Now you've lost it.

I'm so confident that you're gonna buy my boat.

I'm gonna let her talk to me.

Okay, my boat's actually a leaf.

It's so durable.

It is strong, and it's so natural.

Made from the most of leaves in the most world.

We've got the best.

Made from the most of leaves in the most world.

Listen, don't listen.

We've got the most.

Don't listen.

By the way, she's selling a used boat, a used leaf, by the way.

This is the leaf that Moses was born in.

Isn't that amazing?

Sailed down the river.

And it's strong and durable, sprayed with hairspray.

It is never going to crack, and there is no leaks.

It is so beautiful and green and only brown in the parts where it's been seen by the sun.

Okay, is there like a cabin?

It's a leaf tree.

It's a team steady.

No, it's a big leaf.

It's basically a canoe.

There is a seat.

The seat is made out of twigs.

The twigs are very sticky and they are very thicky.

Okay, anyway you can beat that because sight unseen, I'm leaning towards your boat.

And it's got a big, big, big paddle.

Yeah.

And by the way, it's not a paddle to steer the boat with.

It's a paddle to spank your passenger.

Yeah, you don't even have to tell me any more facts.

Okay, I got a regular boat right here.

Tape, soul.

It's got 10 holes at the bottom.

Okay.

And they're patched.

They're patched.

We patched them all.

Oh, they are patched poorly?

They are patched poorly.

They're paying facts, I've learned.

Yeah, but then we repatched them over the core patches.

So they're all good.

And Gallagher lives on the boat.

Oh, I'm taking the leaf.

Hey, come on.

You love Gallagher.

The leaf is $8,000.

It's Liam Gallagher.

We should mention.

Oh,

Watermelon Liam Gallagher, the comedian.

Watermelon?

Liam Gallagher?

This has got to be a shirt.

It's too risky.

I'm taking the leaf.

All right.

Bye.

Bye.

Well, if you're doing business with me, you can pay me on Venmo or Zach.

We're done here.

And that's how you play.

There you go.

And that's the game.

And it's that simple.

It's that easy.

Thank you, Wobble, Blobble.

And CKP, that's what would be happening if the game were.

Louis CKP.

No.

No.

I want to love you.

Louis Takepi.

All right, guys.

We got to go.

I'll say we do.

Thank you for listening.

We are ThreedomUSA on Twitter and Instagram.

We are threedomusa at gmail.com.

If you want to send us a three-cher phone number, that phone number is still in the works, apparently.

Because it takes a long time to get one.

Do we even say that we have a number?

Why are we doing this?

Because the payoff, when it finally happens, oh man, it's going to be huge.

It's going to be the season finale, I think.

Kevin's been putting in emojis instead of numbers, is what he told me.

He's like,

I'm using my emoji keyboard.

It's not working.

I wish we could get a number that was all emojis.

That would be so awesome.

That would be awesome.

I'd use the eggplant for every single one.

Well, because that was like the dick.

Eggplant, eggplant, eggplant.

Water squirt, water squirt.

Peach, peach.

It's actually disgusting when you say like that.

It wasn't disgusting before.

If you want to listen to us anywhere, podcasts are, but if you want to hear ad-free episodes, you can hear it on Stitcher Premium and at CBBWorld.com.

There you go.

We love you very much.

Thanks so much for all the mail.

We'll be back next week.

Thanks for all the fish.

We're going to more fun.

42.

42.

Bye.

Our healthcare system is broken in so many ways.

We have a healthcare system that's supposed to be taking care of people that is making it literally more difficult for people to put food on the table.

So this season, we'll dive into the challenges headfirst while also thinking about how we can find a better way because we all deserve better.

Uncared for season three from Lemonada Media, available August 6th, wherever you get your podcasts.