Threevisiting: Cradle the Nose, Work the Ears
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Speaker 17 I'll see you in your dreams.
Speaker 18 Hey, it's me, Steve Burns, and I'm so glad you're here because you and I go way back, right?
Speaker 18
Yeah. And look at us now.
Like, we're all grown up. We've got this new podcast where we talk about all this grown-up stuff, and there's special guests like Jamie Lee Curtis and Bill Nye.
Speaker 18 But for the most part, it's about you.
Speaker 18 I mean, it's always been about you.
Speaker 18 From Lemonada Media, a live with Steve Burns is coming September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts, or you can watch every episode on YouTube.
Speaker 18 Sabrina!
Speaker 18 That worked
Speaker 18 freedom!
Speaker 18 I got puberty!
Speaker 19 I got puberty!
Speaker 20 I know, I got puberty!
Speaker 20 Oh, no!
Speaker 14 I got puberty!
Speaker 23 I can't go in today.
Speaker 24 I got puberty!
Speaker 22 I'm sick with puberty.
Speaker 4 Tell the boss.
Speaker 25 We called out with puberty, so we're shorthanded today.
Speaker 27 I can't come in.
Speaker 28 I've got the pubes.
Speaker 29 Welcome to Threedom.
Speaker 11 Thank you, Scott.
Speaker 20 Hi.
Speaker 28 My name is Victor. You're Will Napkins.
Speaker 8 Hi, my name is Paul Ev Tompkins.
Speaker 29 My name is Scott Vockerman.
Speaker 32 Wow. What's your real name, Victor?
Speaker 31 V for Victory.
Speaker 17 What if you...
Speaker 35 Lauren, you sounded like
Speaker 5 the sound that people sometimes put on a video on Instagram or TikTok
Speaker 38 where it's like a...
Speaker 5 Maybe it'll be like a dog jumping or a baby falling over or whatever.
Speaker 20 Yeah.
Speaker 13 And the noises, and it was like, we
Speaker 40 and I was like, wee.
Speaker 5 You know the one I'm talking about?
Speaker 32 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 28 It's a good one. Now, where, no, and not to be a fucking idiot, but where do they find these sounds and how do they reuse them?
Speaker 20 I've never tried.
Speaker 42 I want to. For the record, I've never tried.
Speaker 35 I only ever want to see the originals.
Speaker 36 One time I asked about one about,
Speaker 2 oh, look at him.
Speaker 45 Very distinguished gentleman that people use a lot.
Speaker 47 And I was like, where did that come from?
Speaker 13 And then somebody said it came from this.
Speaker 42 And it was video.
Speaker 28 And not only do I wonder where it came from, but I wonder how did they find the audio.
Speaker 48 How do they get that sound and use it for their own purposes?
Speaker 28 You know what I mean? Like, it's like, I'm sure they're searching it, but then it's like, how are you searching? Yeah.
Speaker 6 Like, are you saying
Speaker 20 that kind of thing? I'm going to go, we?
Speaker 6 Are you searching that?
Speaker 28 Yeah, I mean, maybe I should just try to get into TikTok and reels and like see what I can make. I feel like I could be really cool.
Speaker 31 This is like an untapped resource for you, Lauren.
Speaker 20 I really think that you need to get
Speaker 28 so much good stuff could be happening if I got on there.
Speaker 43 Speaking of which, I'm now on cameo.
Speaker 28 You fucking are?
Speaker 51 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 28 Yeah, goddamn.
Speaker 5 What happened, Paul?
Speaker 35 I'm going to do it the way that I told you that I wanted to do it.
Speaker 45 So no one can trick me into white supremacy stuff.
Speaker 12 And how much money have you made, my man?
Speaker 28 How much you charge yes, buddy.
Speaker 8 Okay, truth be told, by the time people are hearing this, I'm on it.
Speaker 20 As of right now, the second.
Speaker 6 No, I'm not on it yet.
Speaker 55 And here's what I love.
Speaker 22 Here's what I love.
Speaker 28 It's happening. How much are you charging?
Speaker 8 I'm starting at $50.
Speaker 28 I love that. I think you could go higher, but I'll let that be.
Speaker 57 We're going to start at 50 and C.
Speaker 46 By the way, Janie is spending the money already.
Speaker 5 She is convinced this is going to be a cash cow for us.
Speaker 26 And I'm like, you got to lower your expectations.
Speaker 31 What is she buying? Is she buying like a new lawnmower or something?
Speaker 59 She bought a fur coat.
Speaker 61 Here's what I'm going to say.
Speaker 28 Here's what I'm going to say to all our listeners. If you have $50 that you would spend without noticing it, you need to get a a cameo from Paul right now.
Speaker 19 You know what? I agree. If you are doing that well, the $50 is you're not going to feel that at all.
Speaker 46 Buy three.
Speaker 24 How about that?
Speaker 59 Do I have $50?
Speaker 17 No, I guess not.
Speaker 14 Yeah.
Speaker 28 Do it.
Speaker 3 Do it. Yeah.
Speaker 31 That sounds amazing.
Speaker 56 And you are donating, isn't it?
Speaker 31 You're donating all the proceeds to charity, you were telling me before the show.
Speaker 64 That's right. Well,
Speaker 66 everything after $150,000 goes directly to charity.
Speaker 19 charity so we just got to hit every base we everything just got to hit that base amount of 150 grand yes
Speaker 20 I don't think you should even say that cover my logistics yeah Paul I think you should say travel lodging
Speaker 24 everything over 150k per year you'll donate to charity yes exactly if I exceed every year I exceed per month per month which 12 of them is a year so in a way everybody's right yeah and that's what I'm going to do Yeah.
Speaker 20 Yeah.
Speaker 49 I love that.
Speaker 9 But yes, if you want a cameo from me, all I'm going to do is whatever I want to do.
Speaker 60 I think that's a great idea.
Speaker 65 I'm just going to like riff and it'll be and it'll be fun.
Speaker 19 And it's like, get it for somebody that maybe won't like it.
Speaker 28 I love it. I think people who think you're great, which is everyone who knows of you, will want this.
Speaker 20 Those of you, not the people who know you.
Speaker 40 Oh, no.
Speaker 28 I wouldn't expect people who know you to buy your cameo.
Speaker 25 I hope not. That would be weird.
Speaker 20 You know, what if I bought a a cameo from you?
Speaker 41 Oh, Scott. What if I bought one? Can we both buy one?
Speaker 11 Don't. I'll give you them for free.
Speaker 20 No, no, I want to buy it.
Speaker 27 No, I want to buy it.
Speaker 20 You're my friend.
Speaker 32 I want cameo to get a cut.
Speaker 19 We'll see.
Speaker 5 This might, like, hopefully this is not going to be something that I absolutely wish I hadn't done.
Speaker 20 You can bail whenever you want.
Speaker 42 Yeah, you can always bail. It's true.
Speaker 64 It's true. No, no, it'll be great.
Speaker 34 It'll be great.
Speaker 13 What if I just did one and then bailed?
Speaker 68 That sounds funny.
Speaker 20 One for Janie.
Speaker 28 You do one, it's up on the site, and you're no longer active.
Speaker 29 You know what you should do?
Speaker 31 You should do the Scorsese role where you do one for them, one for me.
Speaker 25 One for them, one for me. Yes, exactly.
Speaker 29 Exactly.
Speaker 69 Suddenly, you have a ton of cameos for yourself.
Speaker 20 Yes, I send them to myself. I pay for them.
Speaker 28 I sort of don't like how they show examples on your page because I feel like a lot of people do kind of the same thing over and over again, which is totally fine.
Speaker 28 It's like, what are you expecting to do?
Speaker 32 Write a whole new thing every time.
Speaker 28 But I feel like if you watch the sample, you feel like you got it.
Speaker 31 Yeah, that's it doesn't have your name on it.
Speaker 69 Yeah, you know what I mean?
Speaker 20 It's like once my special comes out, that whole hour is burned, you know.
Speaker 68 That's exactly what it is.
Speaker 28 Yeah, once that cameo is seen by a stranger, it might as well have gone to them.
Speaker 13 I remember so many comedians in the early days of Twitter were like, I'm not going to give jokes away for free.
Speaker 29 Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 19 I'm like, yeah, you are.
Speaker 14 You are.
Speaker 28 And you're going to get a lot of fights on there.
Speaker 31 I remember showing one very active Twitter comedian how to sign up for Twitter, and they were very much in that thing of like, no, I just don't see how this will work.
Speaker 31 This, I mean, I'm not going to do these jokes for free.
Speaker 69 And then I froze again.
Speaker 68 Can we tell?
Speaker 28 No, Scott's frozen again, which is going to be a disaster.
Speaker 13 But he has a look of anguish on his face, which is making it kind of fun.
Speaker 31 Kevin's telling me to turn off my video. So I'm going to dark.
Speaker 28 Okay, go dark.
Speaker 24 Go dark.
Speaker 20 Okay.
Speaker 21 Zero Dark 30 with Scott Herman.
Speaker 28 Paul, I want to hear about your day today.
Speaker 32 And Scott, can you hear us?
Speaker 29 Yeah, I can hear.
Speaker 28 Okay, great. So you're not frozen.
Speaker 60 So this is going great.
Speaker 28 So, Paul, I want to hear about your day because you had a very exciting day because you met someone that I idolize.
Speaker 22 Yes.
Speaker 64 You have a new girlfriend?
Speaker 20 One that Lauren idolizes. Yes.
Speaker 17 I met Lauren's hero, and she's my new girlfriend.
Speaker 6 Jenny doesn't hear this.
Speaker 19 I was invited to
Speaker 66 Mr.
Speaker 74 Bob Odenkirk's Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony where Bob got star of the Walk of Fame.
Speaker 28 That's so crazy because I've seen these. Now they post these on like people, Instagram, and like you'll see them on Entertainment Tonight, like a star getting their star.
Speaker 28 And I always think it's so cute, but I never really thought about there being an audience that's like people who were invited as opposed to.
Speaker 28 I always picture it just being whoever's on the street kind of just gathering around.
Speaker 5 Yeah, because it's like the person's friends.
Speaker 39 You don't know who they are, you know what I mean, or their family.
Speaker 56 Especially if it's like an older person, then it's like, I don't know, your grandkids, you fucking fossil.
Speaker 30 But Bob invited,
Speaker 54 it was weirdly like a wedding for one person.
Speaker 20 My wedding.
Speaker 61 See, so nice to talk about you being
Speaker 20 invisible.
Speaker 19 Not being able to see you when you
Speaker 24 made it. It's like a surprise.
Speaker 62 Made it in front of stealth assassins.
Speaker 20 Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 31 Just piping in from another dimension.
Speaker 31 By the way, it doesn't, Billie Eidle doesn't get a lot of credit for how he talks about how what a nice day it is, you know.
Speaker 28 And you know,
Speaker 28 Billie Eilish doesn't get enough credit just as a person. Like, we need to bow down, okay?
Speaker 42 Why don't they collab?
Speaker 28 Is Billy Idol alive?
Speaker 40 Yes,
Speaker 34 he paid so still.
Speaker 75 Too much so.
Speaker 55 I paid that witch to put a curse on him, and he's still walking around.
Speaker 15 So, Bob invited me to this, and it was people from all different parts of his life.
Speaker 13 You know, it was really wild.
Speaker 19 And so I was there.
Speaker 79 David Cross was there.
Speaker 66 The cast of Better Call Saul, they were all there.
Speaker 35 Vince Gilligan, he was there.
Speaker 25 Peter Gould, the co-creator.
Speaker 35 The only other people from Mr.
Speaker 25 Show that were there,
Speaker 25 were invited, apparently, were Bill Odenkirk, who got COVID and couldn't come.
Speaker 54 And John Ennis, who got COVID and couldn't come.
Speaker 40 Aw,
Speaker 68 sad.
Speaker 28 Now, why was my hero there?
Speaker 17 Well, I'll tell you: no one
Speaker 25 knows.
Speaker 7 Are you serious?
Speaker 5 One of the people at this thing, well, I mean, someone knows, but we did not, we were not told.
Speaker 54 One of the people there was fucking Carol Burnett.
Speaker 42 And who was that?
Speaker 28 Someone was fucking her there?
Speaker 28 I didn't even want to make the joke, but it was just sitting there.
Speaker 14 I couldn't.
Speaker 28 I'm sad.
Speaker 14 I'm sorry I made the joke.
Speaker 79 But for real, a guy was fucking hurt.
Speaker 80 It was weird.
Speaker 23 I did not know they knew each other.
Speaker 15 And then David Cross got there.
Speaker 7 And, you know, we were talking for a little bit.
Speaker 73 And he said, did you see Carol Burnett is here?
Speaker 13 And I said, yeah.
Speaker 46 And he goes, I didn't know they knew each other.
Speaker 26 And I thought he would surely know how they knew each other, but he did not.
Speaker 35 I think they were working on something together, but right now?
Speaker 15 Yeah, as we speak.
Speaker 32 Oh, they went
Speaker 20 during our show, they're not listening.
Speaker 5 I here's what I here's my theory: is that
Speaker 48 they are practicing Islands in the stream together, and they're gonna and they're gonna do an Instagram
Speaker 11 where they sing Islands.
Speaker 20 I absolutely love that on it.
Speaker 24 Yeah, I would too.
Speaker 80 I would too.
Speaker 19 Do you hear Bob sing?
Speaker 17 Islands in the Stream would be wonderful.
Speaker 57 Islands in the Stream.
Speaker 31 What if they're doing a competing freedom-style podcast together with one other person?
Speaker 69 I feel like it's got a lot of people.
Speaker 40 Mike Ermintrout.
Speaker 28 And we never know when he's gone because we can't see if he froze.
Speaker 52 It literally is like having a ghost in the house.
Speaker 28 It's like sometimes he's like, what happened?
Speaker 11 What year is it?
Speaker 81 Yes, honey. Go ahead.
Speaker 28 So tell me how the David.
Speaker 22 Did you hear him?
Speaker 19 I heard him for like two seconds.
Speaker 28
It's such a disaster. We have to do it on Zoom, everyone, because A, I just got over Cobb.
And B, I'm shooting something this week and my schedule does not allow for anything else.
Speaker 28 So we have to do this at night and it's just, it's just a little much.
Speaker 26 And I have chronic halitosis, which I will not do anything about.
Speaker 68 Even when we're outside, I'm like, whoa, buddy.
Speaker 32 Oh, yeah.
Speaker 58 I really push it when we're outside.
Speaker 20 I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 40 Hey,
Speaker 27 let's play a three-charger.
Speaker 58 I have a little fan that I put right under my mouth.
Speaker 22 So there's a video of
Speaker 28 the Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony. I want to know, tell us a little about it in case we don't feel like watching that.
Speaker 5 I had never been to one of these things before. And, you know, I was excited to go.
Speaker 44 And I thought, this is such a weird thing.
Speaker 13 And because knowing Bob,
Speaker 56 it's like,
Speaker 15 of course,
Speaker 78 he,
Speaker 25 you know, deserves this kind of recognition for his work.
Speaker 28 And the way, you know, you essentially you submit to the Hollywood chamber of commerce and the the you know the city council or whatever right okay because that's how I was wondering I know that you have to pay ten thousand dollars for your star it's not given to you however it's a great honor so anyone would pretty much do it
Speaker 20 and not everybody you can't just pay ten thousand dollars you automatically get one no no you have to apply get approved and then you pay yeah so um you know but it's not like Bob is not the most Hollywood of people.
Speaker 5 You know what I mean?
Speaker 46 So it was, it was like a weird thing.
Speaker 5 And he recognized that too. And he, so, um, so it's all these, we're all gathered around on little folding chairs.
Speaker 38 Um, and there's a, there's a, uh, like a red carpeted dais where
Speaker 5 there's a podium and a mic and um, and people speak.
Speaker 7 First, people get up from the chamber of commerce and they say their whatever.
Speaker 28 And by the way, were you tested for COVID or was that just a coincidence?
Speaker 33 Yeah,
Speaker 30 because it was all outdoors.
Speaker 64 Wow. It was all outdoors.
Speaker 28 But they had two people had COVID and they couldn't come.
Speaker 5 Yes, but I think they tested either that day or sometime.
Speaker 28 Just coincidentally, they happened to test because they maybe felt sick.
Speaker 55 Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 16 So
Speaker 7 when it starts, you know that the ceremony is about to start because this music starts playing and it is the classic old song, Hooray for Hollywood.
Speaker 73 And it plays for, I want to say, nine seconds.
Speaker 48 And then it's.
Speaker 53 What?
Speaker 28 I thought you were going to say a long time.
Speaker 42 That's cool.
Speaker 19 Yes, I thought it would play so that it would like get your attention and then it would keep playing until everybody was.
Speaker 69 You absolutely should.
Speaker 28 It's like, let's have a moment. Let's
Speaker 28 use the song and have a good time.
Speaker 52 It plays up until the like the initial hooray for Hollywood.
Speaker 9 And then it sort of starts, you know, the chorus starts again and then they just like fade it out abruptly.
Speaker 28 That is so crazy.
Speaker 70 I want to pretty much
Speaker 28 this event.
Speaker 28 Okay, great. Do you have a different computer?
Speaker 31 Yeah, I switch computers, but this one, I don't know, guys.
Speaker 47 You just took one off the pile?
Speaker 31 Yeah. Have you been having fun without me?
Speaker 69 Well, he's just explaining.
Speaker 28 It hasn't been fun at all, but he's been explaining how the Hollywood star ceremony goes. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 7 You've missed very little.
Speaker 31 You've missed very little.
Speaker 31 You have to pay like 30 grand for it, right?
Speaker 42 Oh, I thought it was 10,000.
Speaker 62 Oh, I think it's.
Speaker 66 I heard it was $500.
Speaker 41 Okay, I'm looking forward to it.
Speaker 24 I heard it's 10 cameos.
Speaker 28 Oh, it's a $55,000. I was dangerous.
Speaker 62 Dang.
Speaker 38 Okay.
Speaker 28 Now that makes more sense, to be honest. $10,000 did seem low, given how few areas areas of the sidewalk are left.
Speaker 31 That's usually why,
Speaker 31 like with in Bob's case, I think why it's happening when Better Saw Call, better, Better Saw Call comes out.
Speaker 17 Oh, shit.
Speaker 12 That's the episode title.
Speaker 31 Because Bob doesn't want to pay for it himself, obviously. So, but AMC uses it as permitting.
Speaker 20 Exactly, you know,
Speaker 20 yeah.
Speaker 24 Yes, but like asked, can we submit you for this?
Speaker 15 Are you okay with that?
Speaker 41 He's like, oh, well,
Speaker 41 I love that.
Speaker 11 Yeah.
Speaker 20 But, like, that's why I think Weird Al
Speaker 31 didn't get his for a long time because, you know, a label isn't going to pay for it or anything.
Speaker 14 But like, they're also
Speaker 22 if you're
Speaker 68 rich as
Speaker 28 gold. I was going to say that, but I don't even know what I mean by that.
Speaker 28 Someone has said that, and I don't know what I mean.
Speaker 19 He's a Greek person or a god, maybe. Croesus.
Speaker 17 And he was very rich.
Speaker 28 Oh, Zach Alfanakis said it, I think, in Between Two Forens.
Speaker 32 Hold on.
Speaker 42 Rich as Croesus.
Speaker 28 Croesus, what is that?
Speaker 32 I wrote it, but.
Speaker 60 Oh, you don't know?
Speaker 31 It's, he's, yeah, he's a dude.
Speaker 42 I'm looking at now.
Speaker 28 Croesus was the king of Lydia, who reigned from 585
Speaker 28 BC until his defeat by the Persian king Cyrus the Great in 547 or 546 BC. Croesus was renowned for his wealth.
Speaker 54 Well, don't make fun of him.
Speaker 28 I'm making fun of how they wrote this thing, and they're saying he was defeated in like 547 or 546 BC.
Speaker 20 It's like,
Speaker 62 did you see that? I don't fucking know.
Speaker 81 Did you see that Twitter thread that the Dilbert guy did?
Speaker 28 Oh my God, what's his deal?
Speaker 28 You know, I'm sure I've said this before, but I loved
Speaker 60 Dilbert.
Speaker 67 What's the deal with Dilbert?
Speaker 28 No, he's got a moment.
Speaker 28 But I loved that comic when I was in like fifth grade. I went through
Speaker 20 this phase.
Speaker 28 I just thought it was fantastic.
Speaker 49 I don't know what
Speaker 25 his tie went up and went stay down.
Speaker 20 Isn't it?
Speaker 31 Doesn't it have to do something to do with like him being at work, something that you like didn't relate to at all?
Speaker 28 The whole thing, I think, I don't know why.
Speaker 60 I just thought he was, I thought Dilbert was great.
Speaker 7 When I was a kid, I loved the Lockhorns.
Speaker 28 Oh, I just understood that name.
Speaker 11 Right?
Speaker 19 They didn't like each other.
Speaker 29 Makes sense.
Speaker 74 Wait. Oh, so Dilbert said...
Speaker 2 Let's just call him Dilbert.
Speaker 69 Dilbert said. Dilbert said.
Speaker 34 What? And I knew about Bob Odenkirk.
Speaker 5 Dilbert got on Twitter.
Speaker 20 I call Bob Dilbert.
Speaker 31 He is kind of a Dilbert.
Speaker 28 So Dilbert gets on stage.
Speaker 83 There's a lot of similarities between Bob and Dilbert.
Speaker 31 Like, if they did a live-action Dilbert, Bob might get the call.
Speaker 28 I love that. No, you know who Dilbert is.
Speaker 22 It's Drew Carey.
Speaker 42 It's like Dilbert's designed after Drew Carey.
Speaker 54 Gotta be. Yeah.
Speaker 5 But Dilbert, Dilbert made this thread where he was talking about, it was just like listing,
Speaker 9 it was like a list of numbers of like the number of times I've done this, the number of times
Speaker 5 these, this happened to me, the number of things, this, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 52 It was just like this weird list out of nowhere.
Speaker 17 And one of the ones was
Speaker 5 number of times $50,000 has been stolen from me.
Speaker 16 Five to seven.
Speaker 49 I'm sorry.
Speaker 11 How?
Speaker 41 What's going on?
Speaker 34 But really, what?
Speaker 19 Like, one time would be mortifying.
Speaker 28 Dilbert, get it together.
Speaker 83 Five times
Speaker 19 atrocious. But then
Speaker 35 it was either it was either five, six, or seven.
Speaker 7 I'm not sure.
Speaker 25 When $50,000 was stolen from me.
Speaker 7 Yeah. Dilbert's a real idiot.
Speaker 28 Someone needs to handle his finances or what was the problem.
Speaker 5 Dilbert, get your finances handled and buy a cameo from me.
Speaker 28 That's a good way to invest, actually. When you buy a cameo, it appreciates in value so everyone should buy they're not fungible did i ever tell you about the cameo i've received
Speaker 28 as a gift no it's of matt roloff from little people big world and my friend jimmy fowley bought it for me and mike because we love that show sure and um it was fantastic and matt talks at lengths and also try
Speaker 28 jimmy jimmy made him try to convince us to get on cameo so he spends a lot of the cameo talking about why cameo is great well that's nice.
Speaker 32 It's fantastic.
Speaker 5 And how often do you watch it again?
Speaker 28 Never, and I don't know where it is.
Speaker 40 I don't know where.
Speaker 28 I don't know how to access it.
Speaker 60 I don't know where it went.
Speaker 28 I'd probably have to ask Jimmy to send it again.
Speaker 6 I bet it's in the cloud.
Speaker 49 I'm sure it's in some cloud.
Speaker 5 So, so yeah, so everybody's gathered around on the side of this little dais.
Speaker 36 And
Speaker 5 some seats are better than others, right?
Speaker 62 Some seats are better than
Speaker 11 others.
Speaker 47 People that are like the VIPs are directly in front of the thing, but they're still looking at a profile view of Bob because he is facing this bank of cameras, video cameras and still cameras, and
Speaker 9 kind of giving this his, everyone's talking to them.
Speaker 36 right yeah so ray seahorn from better call saw got up she she did a very lovely um and heartfelt um sort of tribute to bob and working with him and what a what a wonderful uh colleague colleague and friend that he is to her.
Speaker 5 Then David Cross was introduced. He was very funny.
Speaker 85 Of course, he was shitting all over the whole thing.
Speaker 5 But it was funny.
Speaker 7 Like, he really made me laugh.
Speaker 36 And then
Speaker 47 there was just a ton of pictures being taken with various combinations of people, you know.
Speaker 54 And the whole time,
Speaker 5 all I'm thinking about is, I want to get a picture with Carol Burnett. Like, this is not a thing that I ever do with people that I admire.
Speaker 7 And I'm like, of all, there's like so few people that I would do this with. And I'm like, I got to do it, but I'm so scared to do it because it's just like, I don't want to bother her.
Speaker 9 And, you know, I, I've, I've, everyone's saying, everyone that has met her that's around there is like, no, no, no, she's, she's totally, she's so nice about it.
Speaker 86 She's great and everything. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I understand that intellectually, but I can't make myself understand it emotionally.
Speaker 16 And so
Speaker 5 I wanted to take a picture of the star by itself, but there was like a little reception afterwards, and Carol Burnett started to leave.
Speaker 20 And I was like, oh, I gotta, am I gonna do it?
Speaker 7 And I'm like, I am, I'm literally like starting and stopping myself, like walking forward and then stopping because I don't, because it's like, well, now she's leaving.
Speaker 86 She doesn't want to be bothered. She wants to get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 4 Right.
Speaker 16 And so
Speaker 45 somebody asked, like, do you think she'll be at the luncheon?
Speaker 47 And they said, oh, yeah, I'm pretty sure that's where she's headed now.
Speaker 7 So I was like, okay, so I have a second chance.
Speaker 39 I'll come back and take a picture of the star uh because we parked right near it we'll walk to the luncheon and then we'll come back so um we walk to the luncheon uh
Speaker 5 somehow uh everybody gets there before us it takes us so long to walk there that people have been there for a while Carol Brunette is there.
Speaker 54 I'm like, okay, I'm not going to run right up to her and everything.
Speaker 13 And it's also, it's a very heady experience for me because
Speaker 48 there's all these people that I have been watching and admiring on television that are at this thing and they're just hanging out.
Speaker 44 And I'm like, I don't want to go near anybody.
Speaker 58 I don't want to go. I don't want to strike up a conversation.
Speaker 19 People could not have been nicer.
Speaker 9 Everyone was very friendly and, you know.
Speaker 16 And so
Speaker 65 finally,
Speaker 81 like Carol is, again, on her way out.
Speaker 36 And
Speaker 73 it was Ray Sehorn who likes like
Speaker 7 stopped her because she met her before I had dinner with her and everything.
Speaker 5 She was like, oh, Carol, I want to. And like, she looked like Ray Seahorn looked over at me like, hey, we're going to, this has to happen.
Speaker 34 Yeah.
Speaker 68 That's nice.
Speaker 5 Yeah. And so
Speaker 5 this bothered me a little bit.
Speaker 9 I hand my phone to Janie
Speaker 8 and she's going to take the picture.
Speaker 5 I get next to Carol.
Speaker 79 We're like standing there.
Speaker 66 Then the professional photographer of the event comes and says, here, I got you guys.
Speaker 15 And then he's like, move back into the shade a little bit, you know, because it's too bright and all that.
Speaker 86 So we move back.
Speaker 65 And now, so Janie
Speaker 65 has just these pictures of us looking off in the distance yeah because this guy stepped in and got us full on and i'm like i don't know i guess i'll i'll find the watermarked version online if it exists
Speaker 28 but i there was then there was you might be in like a you might be in like a breakdown on hollywood reporter like who was in attendance
Speaker 7 maybe yeah but i did but there was another picture where there were other people in the photo they were out of frame just and they were like off to the side just enough that i was able to crop them out and post the picture that i posted on instagram and it was she was so nice and charming and funny.
Speaker 26 And, you know, it was, it was an extremely
Speaker 13 exciting moment for me.
Speaker 39 Yeah.
Speaker 20 That's so great.
Speaker 28 Mary did a pilot with her like probably five years ago. I was at the taping of that.
Speaker 25 I auditioned for that pilot.
Speaker 52 It was, I never wanted anything so bad as that.
Speaker 28
I know. It was really fun.
And it was, she was so hilarious. Like when she walked on stage.
in the show and she was being so funny, it was like, it was like, I got chills. Like, it was just like
Speaker 71 so awesome.
Speaker 20 She was so when Mary did, yeah.
Speaker 28 And I was just so proud of her.
Speaker 28 Um, no, but when, when, when Carol, like, she comes down this staircase and she's being funny, and it was just like, oh, I can't believe I'm in the same room as this person.
Speaker 31 It's like, did she have like the drapes from Gone with the Winds?
Speaker 60 She might as well.
Speaker 28 You know, in my memory, she does.
Speaker 68 Like, I know she didn't, but like, it's what it was.
Speaker 28 And it was just great.
Speaker 31 Do you think in Better Call Saul?
Speaker 66 they'll include the take where Bob had the heart attack and just like you'll see just for a second, like him clutch his heart and then it like like edits to the next to the next thing I that would be if if somebody there's this thing on YouTube called Star Trek intakes where this this guy takes bloopers from Star Trek and he puts them in the scenes that they were in right so the scene the scene plays like normal with one person just doing a crazy thing and then the scene continues like normal it's really really funny and if they did that with Hall's Hall or like all of a sudden, Jimmy falls on the floor and then the scene just keeps going.
Speaker 65 But now this is my second time seeing Carol Burnett in person.
Speaker 1 The first time I did not get to speak to her, but it was when she was a guest on Watch What Happens Live on the Bravo Network because I had a friend who was a producer for that show.
Speaker 5 And, you know, they have a secret little tiny like 10-person audience at that show. Yeah.
Speaker 25 It's off-camera.
Speaker 28
I was a guest on it once. Yeah.
the record.
Speaker 83 So you saw those folks.
Speaker 5 And so I was invited to be in there because my friend knew how much Carol Burnett meant to me.
Speaker 20 And so I was there watching the interview.
Speaker 43 Do you remember when Andy Cohen's dumb fucking dog snapped at her face?
Speaker 28 Yes, it was a big thing.
Speaker 69 What? Yeah.
Speaker 40 Carol Burnett's face.
Speaker 77 Yes.
Speaker 59 Her face?
Speaker 57 This dumbass dog tried to take it.
Speaker 28 He has since rehomed the dog.
Speaker 40 Yeah, no kidding.
Speaker 28 Because the dog had a number of things like that.
Speaker 28 And then he, Andy had a child, and then it was, you know.
Speaker 76 And he had a child.
Speaker 28 Yeah.
Speaker 74 So he's like, oh, I'll just have this instead.
Speaker 9 Let's get rid of this dangerous monster.
Speaker 68 And his son bites.
Speaker 40 Oh, no.
Speaker 35 You can't rehome the kids.
Speaker 24 If
Speaker 31 he tried to bite Carol Burnett's face off, his son, his son did that.
Speaker 20
Yeah. Yeah.
His son.
Speaker 24 His son did that.
Speaker 19 His son.
Speaker 23 His son did that.
Speaker 28 His son did that.
Speaker 21 Just got the DNA ourselves back.
Speaker 26 His son is 100% that bitch.
Speaker 28 Well, that's a really fun day. That's very exciting.
Speaker 50 It was a fun day.
Speaker 65 It was very strange and surreal in a lot of ways.
Speaker 26 And, you know, I got to meet Giancarlo Esposito and we talked about,
Speaker 7 like Bob prompted him to talk about, is it called The Best Worst Thing, the documentary about the Sondheim musical Merrily We Roll Along?
Speaker 20 I don't know.
Speaker 10 Oh, man.
Speaker 11 It's absolutely worth watching.
Speaker 51 Yeah. Yes.
Speaker 26 Him, Jason Alexander.
Speaker 19 It's like it's wild.
Speaker 31 Or back in like 1980 or whatever.
Speaker 20 Yeah, but it's a documentary.
Speaker 40 Oh, there was stars.
Speaker 19 Wow.
Speaker 35 About this very ambitious and strange Sondheim musical that was
Speaker 31 told backwards.
Speaker 24 Every scene.
Speaker 70 It's like memento.
Speaker 31 Or like betrayal. Exactly.
Speaker 79 Or betrayed.
Speaker 9 We're betrayed with a little memento mixed in.
Speaker 36 Betrayal, but yeah.
Speaker 28 And so is it?
Speaker 28 Is it a documentary made recently or it's an old documentary?
Speaker 31 The documentary is also backwards, which is very hard to watch.
Speaker 7 It starts with the words, the end.
Speaker 66 It's a pretty recent documentary, but there's a ton of archival footage and photographs, and they interview the people, and it's really absolutely worth watching because, as Scott was saying, it starts from the point of view of these characters as middle-aged people, older people, looking back at their lives.
Speaker 74 And so they de-age throughout the show.
Speaker 31 And it's and it ends with them as like bright youths who have optimism and all this kind of stuff.
Speaker 59 Yeah.
Speaker 19 Oh, wow.
Speaker 15 It's a it's a great idea, but like to have the same people do it, it's it's kind of, I think about this a lot when I see
Speaker 7 actors in old age makeup, like young actors, like you had your hoover.
Speaker 19 Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 28 But I'm like, this is us. Oh my God, is it going to end with them being babies again?
Speaker 12 I've never seen it. I don't know.
Speaker 26 What if it ends with their parents having a baby?
Speaker 28 Oh, I watch every single single episode.
Speaker 31 Never seen it.
Speaker 46 And do you cry and cry and cry?
Speaker 28 You know, every once in a while, they'll get a tear out of my old eye.
Speaker 82 They'll squeeze a tear out of that onion of an eyeball you have. Yeah.
Speaker 6 And you say, this is us. You got me.
Speaker 28 I'm really looking forward to seeing how they wrap it up.
Speaker 32 There's only five episodes left.
Speaker 24 Oh, my God.
Speaker 8 Lauren must be so excited.
Speaker 31 You know about the Merrily We Roll Along movie, right? That they're making.
Speaker 28 I don't know about that.
Speaker 47 No, tell me about this.
Speaker 31 Well, it's Richard Link later, and he's going to film it over the next 20 20 years with.
Speaker 5 What is the wrong with this guy?
Speaker 5 This is his fucking thing?
Speaker 31 That's his thing now. But it's with
Speaker 31 what's her name?
Speaker 31 God, all I can think of is Beanie Siegel, who's a rapper.
Speaker 20 Bean Feldstein?
Speaker 24 Yeah, Beanie Feldstein Siegel.
Speaker 31 Beanie Feldstein and one other person. And so they're
Speaker 31 shooting it backwards.
Speaker 31 So when they're young, they're going to shoot the end and then they're going backwards and all that. But it sounds cool.
Speaker 28 It's so much to ask somebody that's in their 20s to put on a bunch of slop on their face and then act like, oh, is this my well, that's Mandy Moore's job for the last six years.
Speaker 28 And it is, it is fascinating. She just was posting about how she just had the last day of old age makeup and she had done it 45 times this season alone.
Speaker 69 This season?
Speaker 87 Oof.
Speaker 28 No, no, it seems like a pain in the ass.
Speaker 31 I did it once on the Bang Bang TV show, and it was a three and a half hour process, I think, and then an hour to take it off.
Speaker 31 I mean, yeah, yeah, I just can't imagine being like on Star Trek and having to do it every single day.
Speaker 54 Yeah, man. I don't, I, that is like
Speaker 26 when you sign up to be a series regular who's a weird space monster, yeah, and you're saying, well, okay, I will be at work every day at 4 a.m.
Speaker 25 and everyone else will arrive three hours later.
Speaker 31 If you're lucky, you get like a weird nose, and that's it.
Speaker 26 Just a weird nose ridge?
Speaker 79 Absolutely. Yeah.
Speaker 20 Like, what's her name on Deep Space Sign?
Speaker 7 Uh, Nano Visitor.
Speaker 44 I loved when you could tell that every
Speaker 66 fourth episode, like Voyager, when they're just constantly encountering new aliens, and that every fourth episode, they're like, this guy's just got a weird nose.
Speaker 64 We don't have a bunch of damage.
Speaker 72 We've got
Speaker 51 a whole fish man.
Speaker 26 This guy just has a weird nose.
Speaker 31 But it's always the nose. It's never just like the ears.
Speaker 17 Sometimes it's the ears.
Speaker 31 Well, it's Spock is just the ears.
Speaker 84 And the eyebrows.
Speaker 10 Yeah.
Speaker 28 Just the ears. When you're in bed, do you ever say, just the ears?
Speaker 20 Yeah.
Speaker 7 I say, cradle the nose, work the ears.
Speaker 31 Did I tell you what I tried to put that into a script that we hoped Sylvester Stallone was going to do?
Speaker 19 Yes, you did.
Speaker 20 Yes, you did.
Speaker 34 You did what?
Speaker 31 Do you know that story about cradle?
Speaker 33 Never mind.
Speaker 20 We would never hear it.
Speaker 11 Come on.
Speaker 23 You got to tell it to this little person.
Speaker 28 You got to tell the story.
Speaker 31 Well, it's a famous like Hollywood lore that some sound man picked up Sylvester Stallone's audio during a break. His mic, he still had a hot mic, and he was getting a blowjob in his trailer.
Speaker 31 And it was like, Cradle the Bulls.
Speaker 75 I can't even do it.
Speaker 20 And then what were you going to write? Cradle the Bulls, work the shaft. Work the shaft.
Speaker 31 So, so we were we were writing him this part in Shark Tale 2,
Speaker 24 and
Speaker 31 we had him as a fish like going down
Speaker 31 a shaft or or something.
Speaker 24 So, we were trying to slip.
Speaker 28 But, so you're one of those perverts, like when they make those Disney, they say there's like a hidden sex in the clouds and like Aladdin and stuff. You're like, you're basically that.
Speaker 28 You're like, here for Shirk Tale, I'm going to try to get a shaft and balls reference in here.
Speaker 82 Um, we never thought you could do it.
Speaker 17 It's more innocent than what the Disney people do.
Speaker 68 I think it's all sick, but I, uh,
Speaker 28 I, well, you know, it's funny because it's like, it's a hilarious quote, but it also, I, it reminds me just of this one sex tip i read in cosmo when i was the teenager
Speaker 28 and it was i did say that but i didn't mean to i was a teenager and it was like a list of like yeah that one teenager to like make him hot or whatever the fuck
Speaker 49 i'd want to well i don't know but you'll see how i'd settle for two
Speaker 28 you can tell there were 50 because one of them was literally this cradle his balls like a baby bird
Speaker 51 like a baby bird
Speaker 31 i don't even think that would be, I mean, realistically, I don't even think.
Speaker 66 Here's what I think is like two hands.
Speaker 25 That's what I think of when I think cradling a baby.
Speaker 11 Yeah.
Speaker 31 Like a sick bird that you find on the paper.
Speaker 41 I never forgot that.
Speaker 29 It's the only one I remembered, but yeah.
Speaker 20 So you do it all the time.
Speaker 20 I would say brandy snifter.
Speaker 80 That's the metaphor.
Speaker 42 Well, I don't think a lot of teens know about what that is.
Speaker 22 They should.
Speaker 5 But they do know about baby birds.
Speaker 40 They should write an article on the bird.
Speaker 31 They have to learn How to hold baby bird, how to types of snifters that they should buy.
Speaker 55 Craig is balls like a baby bird.
Speaker 68 Yeah, isn't that sick?
Speaker 30 It's beautiful advice.
Speaker 20 Um, did you take a break yet, by the way? No, did you?
Speaker 31 No, yeah, I just took many breaks.
Speaker 59 That's true.
Speaker 6 So, your cumulative breaks lead us to our one break.
Speaker 25 Yep.
Speaker 80 All right, bye-bye.
Speaker 4 Bye.
Speaker 28 Cooler temps are rolling in.
Speaker 62 Doo dah, doo da.
Speaker 28 And as always, Quince is where I'm turning for fall staples that actually last from cashmere to denim to boots.
Speaker 62 I'm seeing you so furious.
Speaker 28
I'm mad, but I'm getting happier. The quality holds up and the price still blows me away.
Quince has the kind of fall staples you'll wear non-stop.
Speaker 28 Like super soft, 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at $60.
Speaker 53 I got to ask you about their denim.
Speaker 64 Okay, well, their denim's durable and it fits right.
Speaker 54 What about leather jackets?
Speaker 28 They are real, and they bring that clean, classic edge without the elevated price tag. Sounds good.
Speaker 12 What makes Quince different?
Speaker 24 Hey, everyone.
Speaker 28 Oh, hey, well, they partner directly with ethical factories and skip the middlemen. So you get top-tier fabrics and craftsmanship at half the price of similar brands.
Speaker 54 Can I hear some personal experience from you? Because I'm still a little skeptical for some reason.
Speaker 28 Well, one of my favorite pieces from Quince is their 100% Merino Wool All-Season Short-Sleeve T.
Speaker 28 Now, I've been trying to incorporate more natural fibers into my wardrobe, as I'm telling you all the time. And wool totally fits the bill.
Speaker 28 It's naturally heat-regulating, so it helps keep you warm in winter, cool in summer. The perfect thing for this in-between season.
Speaker 28 Now, I've been wearing mine so much, I just ordered one in another color.
Speaker 31 I want to keep it classic and cool this fall. Do you have any suggestions?
Speaker 28 You should do that with long-lasting staples from Quince. Go to quince.com/slash threedom for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.
Speaker 3 Now, that's great.
Speaker 64 How do you spell it?
Speaker 64 I was gonna say
Speaker 28 365-day returns is amazing because if you're like me, sometimes you forget to return something.
Speaker 62 Yes, and you can.
Speaker 28 And when you miss the window.
Speaker 5 Like 200 days in, you might be like, I got to return it.
Speaker 68 Honestly, I've done that before.
Speaker 28
That's q-u-in-ce-e.com/slash threedom. Free shipping and 365 days returns.
Quince.com/slash threedom.
Speaker 14 It's back. Back to school season.
Speaker 62 School season, little boys and girls.
Speaker 46 But you know what's not on the syllabus this year?
Speaker 21 Tell me, getting schooled by your old wireless bill.
Speaker 28 I agree, that's why I made the switch to Mint Mobile.
Speaker 12 Well, well, with Mint, you can get the coverage and speed you're used to, but for way less money.
Speaker 12 And for a limited time, Mint Mobile is offering three months of unlimited premium wireless service for only $15 a month.
Speaker 17 So while your friends are flunking out with data overages and surprise charges, you'll be aging your budget, literally and financially.
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Speaker 12 All plans come with a high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network.
Speaker 12 Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts.
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Speaker 1 With all the money I'm saving, I can finally live out my fall fantasy of getting a pumpkin spice latte every single day. Do I want whipped cream for 50 cents more?
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Speaker 21 This one's on Mint.
Speaker 12 Get out of here, you young whippersnapper.
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Speaker 12 NGB stands for gigabytes.
Speaker 90 There's so much advice out there, and all we want to do as parents is get it right.
Speaker 90 The great news is you're the expert on your child, and sometimes figuring out what they need is as simple as getting them to talk. I'm Dr.
Speaker 90 Susan Swick, a child and adolescent psychiatrist, and I'm also a mother of four.
Speaker 90 On my new podcast, Talk Aboutable, I'll hear from parents about what's keeping them up at night, and we'll figure out how to tackle it by talking about it.
Speaker 28 From Lemonada Media, Talk Aboutable is at September 9th. Follow wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 28 Oh my god, here it is. I found it.
Speaker 31 The actual audio?
Speaker 28 I found the Cosmo list. Oh,
Speaker 28 because I typed in Cosmo.
Speaker 62 I did see a special pod.
Speaker 20 I love it. Baby.
Speaker 20 Okay,
Speaker 10 we're back. We're back.
Speaker 41 Guys, this is so sick.
Speaker 28 I found the fucking Cosmo article.
Speaker 20 And
Speaker 62 sit back, relax.
Speaker 70 I have to enjoy it.
Speaker 49 I have to sit back and relax.
Speaker 24 That's exactly what I did.
Speaker 22 Maybe I read this.
Speaker 28 I don't know if this came out when I read it.
Speaker 26 You bring the instructions to watch this and enjoy it.
Speaker 72 This is sick.
Speaker 20 Anyway, number 23.
Speaker 20 Wait, what year?
Speaker 68 It says 2010, but I read it.
Speaker 11 2010.
Speaker 28 But this is when it's online. I'm like, I definitely read it in print, and I don't know that I would have been, maybe I would have been awarded it 2010, but I don't think so.
Speaker 68 I mean, I read magazines, so it's possible but i wasn't 30 in 2010.
Speaker 62 i'm still laughing at sylvester stall in 2010
Speaker 25 introducing the clip it's like famous people like hello i'm kelsey grammer do you remember that time i fell off the stage oh my god have you seen the one where they matched it up with big birding off the stage
Speaker 28 there's this clip of big bird falling off the stage in some sort of performance like on a children's play or something and then like they mashed it up with kelsey Grammar's audio of him falling off the stage.
Speaker 28 And it's so funny.
Speaker 31 What if Stallone did like
Speaker 31 Tumbersrun style narration over it?
Speaker 60 Like, can I just read you this?
Speaker 14 What it actually says?
Speaker 28
Oh, my God. This is so fucking sick.
I'm actually.
Speaker 76 Okay, give us some tips.
Speaker 24 Give us tips.
Speaker 62 I want to hold my balls. This is our gen X brain breakers.
Speaker 28 Number 23 is hold my balls the way you'd hold a baby bird.
Speaker 22 A little baby bird.
Speaker 20 Oh, this is from men.
Speaker 57 Yeah, this is
Speaker 6 saying, here's how you get me hot.
Speaker 28 30 sex tricks.
Speaker 31 This is just one guy saying things that he likes.
Speaker 28 30 sex tricks to try this summer.
Speaker 20 Make me in that thumb.
Speaker 28 Make Nookie more exciting by trying these passion pointers straight from the men. We guarantee neither of you would mind the intense heat from these moves.
Speaker 31 Neither of you would mind it.
Speaker 84 One of them is blow on my nipples.
Speaker 17 Treating my balls so delicately.
Speaker 11 It's making me hot.
Speaker 32 Oh my God.
Speaker 19 Blow on his nipples.
Speaker 57 nipples are like nothing blowing.
Speaker 62 Nothing happens.
Speaker 57 Nothing happens.
Speaker 28
Oh, my God. I can't read any more of these.
They're too hot to handle.
Speaker 31 So you read one to us, and that's it.
Speaker 28 Yeah, yeah. That's the only one you can handle.
Speaker 71 How about this?
Speaker 20 Grab my butt with both.
Speaker 20 Grab my butt with what?
Speaker 11 With gusto?
Speaker 61 I can't read it in the first person.
Speaker 27 Say it.
Speaker 24 Oh, because it'll be a drop?
Speaker 67 Yeah.
Speaker 28 I'm going to say, grab his butt with both hands when you're giving him oral.
Speaker 31 instead of the one hand that you'd normally do.
Speaker 28 I just feel like if you have to read this and you're using the idea, like, just you shouldn't.
Speaker 22 Just don't do it.
Speaker 28 Don't do it.
Speaker 78 And just try kissing on the lips.
Speaker 28 I'm stressed out.
Speaker 10 Oh, no. Why?
Speaker 20 Why?
Speaker 28 Just the idea of teens and all that.
Speaker 29 So you read all of them when you were younger.
Speaker 28 No, I know I did.
Speaker 31 How many did you, have you like absorbed through on most?
Speaker 49 I used to read them all.
Speaker 49 all
Speaker 17 when you were reading it, were you like, oh boy, this is like
Speaker 20 so hot.
Speaker 21 I have to go to mass.
Speaker 33 I need to pray.
Speaker 17 You've got to pray.
Speaker 67 Pray. You got to pray.
Speaker 71 You got to pray just to make it today.
Speaker 34 What's he up to?
Speaker 31 Should we have him as a guest?
Speaker 3 MC Hammer?
Speaker 40 Yeah.
Speaker 28 He appeared in some commercial, I think, fairly recently.
Speaker 73 Yes, where it was like, remember me, kind of.
Speaker 68 Yeah, it's like, I mean, go for it, man.
Speaker 20 Get the money. Give me things.
Speaker 28 Wasn't he bankrupt in Bankruptcy?
Speaker 56 He was bankrupt, yes.
Speaker 28 That was rough. I don't really know what bankrupt means, like, because it doesn't mean you don't have any money, right?
Speaker 73 I think it means different things for different people.
Speaker 31 Yeah. It's basically if you file for bankruptcy protection,
Speaker 31 that means that your...
Speaker 20 I have every day.
Speaker 31 Your money is like frozen and people can't come get it from you. Then they have to work it out for you.
Speaker 31 Like, they'll like a creditor will work out, like, okay, will you pay this, you know, this amount of cents on the dollar to us back?
Speaker 31 Um, but they can't actually like legally get it from you.
Speaker 7 I see. It's frozen.
Speaker 54
They put a sticker of Elsa on it. Yeah.
So then everyone knows.
Speaker 14 And everyone's like, let it go.
Speaker 34 Yeah. Let it go.
Speaker 56 Would you like to buy a snowman?
Speaker 25 I can't.
Speaker 20
I can't. I'm bankrupt.
I'm
Speaker 5 okay. Here's the deal.
Speaker 39 If Paige Davis ever guests on the show, then MC Hammer can be a guest.
Speaker 1 How about that?
Speaker 28 I think that's fair. I feel like
Speaker 64 it's more than fair.
Speaker 28 The order goes Paige Davis, MC Hammer, Mary Holland.
Speaker 24 No, and you can't sworn to the stage.
Speaker 52 Hold on a second.
Speaker 43 We have sworn that she will never be a guest on this show.
Speaker 28 But, Paul, what I'm saying is there's no fucking way we get MC Hammer on this show.
Speaker 19 If we get Paige Davis, we'll get MC Hammer.
Speaker 77 Yeah, it's a package.
Speaker 35 Once Hammer hears that Paige did the show,
Speaker 28 yeah, everything will start to come together.
Speaker 60 Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 87 You're right. That's real.
Speaker 28
You're right. You're right.
It's too risky. I can't put Mary on the list.
Speaker 53 That's like some real monkeys paw stuff.
Speaker 32 Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't put her on.
Speaker 28 I'm taking her on.
Speaker 84 I'm taking her off. I should serve her.
Speaker 78 Marihala, not on the show.
Speaker 88 La la la la lula.
Speaker 81 We've really really hit a wall.
Speaker 28 So, do you
Speaker 62 is it tough not seeing you?
Speaker 88 La la la la.
Speaker 28 It isn't helping.
Speaker 67 It isn't helping.
Speaker 31 Because there are a lot of like facial cues of like, okay, I'm talking about it.
Speaker 41 Wrap it up.
Speaker 15 Scott makes his eyes go real big sometimes.
Speaker 8 And you're like, Scott, Scott, what happened?
Speaker 15 Yeah. Sometimes he makes a big frowny face.
Speaker 57 He's like, Scott, Scott, what's wrong?
Speaker 64 All right, this is Sylvester's slum.
Speaker 88 This is Sylvester's Law.
Speaker 89 Will you grab my balls with your hand and stroke the shaft?
Speaker 25 Sound familiar? That was new.
Speaker 3 Instead of evolution.
Speaker 20 Instead of evolution, man.
Speaker 27 As you don't grab on my cock and balls with both hands and pull like your life depends on it.
Speaker 82 Hey, you want to baby bird me? All right.
Speaker 20 Quibble.
Speaker 20 Hold my balls like a little baby bird.
Speaker 25 Grab my balls with both hands.
Speaker 20 You're giving me a word.
Speaker 67 a little bit.
Speaker 89 My balls are a little baby bird that fell out of the nest.
Speaker 89 And if you touch me, my mommy won't take me back. So just hover your hands right under them so I know they're coming.
Speaker 25 Hey, why don't you chew up some food and spit them on my balls?
Speaker 89 Hey, why don't you chew up my
Speaker 20 dick like a little baby bird?
Speaker 2 My balls are dick like a little baby bird.
Speaker 12 My balls are currently in a nest.
Speaker 76 What do you think?
Speaker 89 Put my balls in a little hammock and let them swing.
Speaker 25
Let me paint a picture for you. You walk down the street, you hear a little peep, peep, peep.
You look down. It's my balls.
Speaker 78 You pick them up.
Speaker 21 You say, what's roar?
Speaker 55 My balls.
Speaker 78 All I can do is go peep, peep, peep, peep.
Speaker 31 Sly, this is just the intro.
Speaker 11 Come on.
Speaker 89 Pick up my balls and
Speaker 89 pick up my balls and hold them up at a normal height. So pull them way above my dick.
Speaker 72 Pull them up to my chest.
Speaker 34 Hold them like a little baby.
Speaker 14 Get it up.
Speaker 20 Get it up.
Speaker 68 Normal like you're standing up.
Speaker 25 Squeeze some water on my balls.
Speaker 89 Squeeze Squeeze the water. Get a little dropper and squeeze the water of my balls.
Speaker 20 Take my balls.
Speaker 89 Let them flow down like a little dewdrop on a flower that a bee is about to suck.
Speaker 64 Jesus Christ.
Speaker 80 What is that the worst part?
Speaker 19 That a bee's about to suck.
Speaker 14 Suck.
Speaker 32 Suck my dick like a little bee getting the pollen out of a little flower.
Speaker 78 Well, I hope you enjoy my clip.
Speaker 25 If I ever have a hot mic again when I'm getting a blowjob, you know where to find me.
Speaker 55 I'll be back.
Speaker 89 My mic's still hot. Now I'm going to go take a dump.
Speaker 89 Hey, toilet.
Speaker 14 Cradle my shit like a little baby book.
Speaker 57 Hey, toilet.
Speaker 20 Toilet.
Speaker 31 It's like the Siri of toilets.
Speaker 20 Hey, toilet. Toilet.
Speaker 20 Cradle my shit.
Speaker 21 Toilet. Receive my trip.
Speaker 6 My shit.
Speaker 20 Cradle my shit.
Speaker 43 Toilet.
Speaker 5 Flush shit away.
Speaker 28 Cradle my shit.
Speaker 30 God, even if that.
Speaker 3 Cradle my shit.
Speaker 57 I sure deserve it.
Speaker 31 Even if that was a videotape that he put out that was only five minutes long, you'd still buy it.
Speaker 19 The clip itself is what, 10 seconds?
Speaker 20 Yeah, at the most.
Speaker 75 And then you'll just.
Speaker 40 Fantastic. Yeah.
Speaker 57 Intro, outro.
Speaker 58 He booked it with two and a half minutes.
Speaker 28 If you put that audio clip over Big Bird falling off a stage.
Speaker 41 No.
Speaker 62 Oh, no, please don't leave Big Bird out of it.
Speaker 28 No, no. Put it over Kelsey Grammar falling off a stage.
Speaker 49 Yes.
Speaker 31 Gradle the balls, Kelsey.
Speaker 68 Yes, Queen.
Speaker 26 And he falls down.
Speaker 20 Smashes and falls.
Speaker 19 I mean, as funny as it is, that must have fucking hurt so hard.
Speaker 42 Of course it did.
Speaker 28 Plus, you're not expecting to fall.
Speaker 61 It's like the worst thing that can happen when you're on stage.
Speaker 43 How did it happen?
Speaker 59 It's so sad.
Speaker 28 He basically walked off it in a weird way, like into like a little pit.
Speaker 42 Yeah.
Speaker 53 He had a spotlight on him, couldn't see shit.
Speaker 20 Niles wasn't there to help him.
Speaker 28 Neither was that dog.
Speaker 24 Eddie. Moose.
Speaker 20 Eddie played by Moose.
Speaker 28 I almost said Winston.
Speaker 68 I don't know.
Speaker 31 He checked in. Oh, no, that's Dunstan.
Speaker 54 That was Dunstan.
Speaker 28 Dunstan checked in, but Winston, similar to Wishbone, a very famous dog who could travel to time.
Speaker 5 Oh, was that Wishbone's deal? He was a time traveler?
Speaker 28 Yeah, he'd be like, here, why don't we go back to Shakespeare's time? And now I'm Shakespeare and I'm a dog.
Speaker 19 What? Wait, he'd be the famous people?
Speaker 40 Yeah.
Speaker 28 That I'd be like, you know, I have to say, I always flipped the channel when Wishbone came on because it was after Arthur and Arthur was a little more highbrow.
Speaker 60 Wishbone was was a little too, yeah, a little too baby.
Speaker 25 Well, you were reading Cosmo.
Speaker 80 What was Arthur's whole deal?
Speaker 28 Arthur was a fantastic character. He's an Aardvark.
Speaker 28 Actually, he recently, they recently wrapped up Arthur and they had them, they showed all the characters as 20-somethings.
Speaker 3 What?
Speaker 45 Well, how old are they on the show?
Speaker 34 I have to watch that because I heard they were going to cry.
Speaker 28
I won't make you cry again. Yeah, they were all hot.
It was, I think they were like
Speaker 28 eight years old on the show.
Speaker 19 Were they of legal age?
Speaker 28 They were like eight years old and they were.
Speaker 28 I love that show when I was little.
Speaker 68 Oh, it was so comfortable.
Speaker 28 Um, but I loved Arthur, and they also had this segment called A Word from Us Kids, where they would go to a school and like to see some kids, and they would do some sort of activity and show you about it.
Speaker 28 And there was one that's very memorable, which always comes to mind, where these kids were drawing different sorts of heroes or something. And one person drew Pele, the soccer player.
Speaker 28 And then they said, Pele, Pele, scores great goals.
Speaker 30 But there's no second part of a rhyme.
Speaker 28 There was definitely other stuff that happened, but I don't remember anything besides that. And I bet you anyone who knows what I'm talking about will only remember that part.
Speaker 28 Pele because there was also this one where they go to a school for the blind, and these kids show how they baked cookies.
Speaker 28 And I always remember that they would tap the they would hit the baking sheet with a spoon to see where there was space to put the dough.
Speaker 20 Hit the baking sheet with a spoon.
Speaker 31 I wonder if the chocolate were the chocolate chips like in Braille.
Speaker 28 Yeah, and then that's the recipe.
Speaker 48 The chocolate chips like in braille.
Speaker 42 Yeah.
Speaker 24 Scott, I've never been more disappointed in you.
Speaker 30 Why?
Speaker 82 I think it would be a good idea.
Speaker 45 I've never been disappointed that you haven't patented something.
Speaker 31 It would say, this is a chocolate chip cookie.
Speaker 57 It would say the whole thing.
Speaker 30 Have either of you guys ever heard of a show called Hodge Podge Lodge?
Speaker 2 No, no, no, no.
Speaker 28 I'm curious.
Speaker 69 No.
Speaker 28 Is it a home makeover show?
Speaker 21 No, it was ostensibly a kid show,
Speaker 52 and it was this fucking old lady who lived in the Hodge Podge Lodge.
Speaker 83 She was not like a character person.
Speaker 85 She was just an old lady who did crafts, and she would show you some crafts.
Speaker 24 And it was so,
Speaker 19 I know, I wish.
Speaker 5 I got to look for it on YouTube because at the time it enraged me because as a kid, I want to be entertained.
Speaker 73 This was not entertaining.
Speaker 6 I know.
Speaker 73 It was boring as shit and was that kind of thing where this is supposed to be for me, I think.
Speaker 8 I think this is supposed to be aimed at me, but I'm not enjoying it.
Speaker 28 Well, the worst was when frugal gourmet would come on.
Speaker 40 It's like if you're gonna
Speaker 28 get away like I might leave it on if I have nothing else on.
Speaker 5 PBS was such a minefield because you would see something that was great and then all of a sudden there's the fucking frugal gourmet.
Speaker 28 I know. Can you believe it? That guy really got to do whatever the fuck he wanted.
Speaker 30 Well, until he was caught by the police.
Speaker 28 No, what did he do?
Speaker 11 What did he do?
Speaker 20 I can't.
Speaker 28 I cannot.
Speaker 32 Why is everyone caught by the police?
Speaker 15 He sexually,
Speaker 5 he sexually harassed underage
Speaker 79 boys.
Speaker 73 I think it was like people that worked on the show.
Speaker 24 What the hell? He was like a predator.
Speaker 20 He was a predator. Oh, my God.
Speaker 42 He died in 2004.
Speaker 51 Thank God.
Speaker 20 Thank God.
Speaker 5 Jeff something, right?
Speaker 24 Jeff Smith.
Speaker 72 I bet his real name was Jeff Predator.
Speaker 60 That's one of the first things about him.
Speaker 31 He settled in.
Speaker 28 Oh, a sex scandal ruined his career. That's in his obituary.
Speaker 31
Six people. Oh, geez.
Six people alleged.
Speaker 60 Oh, my gosh.
Speaker 2 Oh, boy. You just.
Speaker 28 Well, you know what? I knew I got a bad feeling when I saw him.
Speaker 29 That's why you would turn it off.
Speaker 28 I was always like, ooh, I got the heebie-jeebies.
Speaker 45 But what about the cooking Cajun, Justin Wilson? I guarantee.
Speaker 31 From the Big Easy?
Speaker 69 Oh,
Speaker 28 guys, and he also molested a hitchhiker.
Speaker 42 I can't with this fucking guy.
Speaker 28 Rest in hell.
Speaker 5 Hey, you know what you were frugal with?
Speaker 52 Your fucking morals, you piece of shit.
Speaker 35 I know. Rest in piss.
Speaker 28 Ride the devil's dick till dawn.
Speaker 20 Griddle the devil's ball.
Speaker 89 And let the devil's shaft work its way into your
Speaker 28 throat, Venus, wherever.
Speaker 11 Guys,
Speaker 64 let's take a break.
Speaker 91 I'm Hussa Minhaj, and I have been lying to you.
Speaker 91 I only pretended to be a comedian so I could trick important people into coming on my podcast, Hussin Minhaj Doesn't Know, to ask them the tough questions that real journalists are way too afraid to ask.
Speaker 91 People like Senator Elizabeth Warren. Is America too dumb for democracy?
Speaker 10 Outrageous.
Speaker 91
Parenting expert Dr. Becky.
How do you skip consequences without raising a psychopath?
Speaker 28 It's a good question.
Speaker 91 Listen to Hussa Minhaj Doesn't Know from Lemonada Media, wherever you get your podcasts
Speaker 31 and we're back and and i like it we're gonna attempt a threecher
Speaker 31 here on shitty internet um this one is called press junk it submitted by kp thomas press junk it
Speaker 20 i wonder if by the way you should call it you should call it shitternet Shit ornet.
Speaker 25 Lauren, you've cracked it.
Speaker 20 I wonder if it's Kitchen Patrol, Thomas. KP Duties.
Speaker 42 I've got Kitchen Patrol.
Speaker 19 His name is KP Duties, the person who submitted the name of the
Speaker 67 Kitchen Patrol.
Speaker 31 KP Thomas.
Speaker 31 KP Duties.
Speaker 19 Hi, I'm KP Duties.
Speaker 31 And I'm here to introduce Sylvester Stallone for his videotape.
Speaker 20 But first,
Speaker 27 let the duty fall in the toilet.
Speaker 64 Hello, toilet.
Speaker 17 Hey, toilet man, who got hit with a brick.
Speaker 20 Okay, so this is called.
Speaker 31 Wait, no, no, no, no. This isn't the one I wanted to do.
Speaker 22 Oh, Jesus.
Speaker 29 KP Thomas, you're out.
Speaker 31 This is Anchors Away. This is the first one when I looked earlier.
Speaker 29 Okay, this is
Speaker 12 submitted by Sean.
Speaker 43 One name. Wow.
Speaker 14 Exciting.
Speaker 14 Yeah.
Speaker 74 How is it spelled?
Speaker 31 S-H-A-W-N.
Speaker 64 Okay.
Speaker 5 That's what I thought for some reason.
Speaker 19 Interesting. That's what I pictured in my life.
Speaker 40 Are you Sean?
Speaker 3 Yeah.
Speaker 11 Okay, so
Speaker 31 this is Anchors Away. This is three of us play two head anchors on a news show, and then the third is an on-the-scene reporter during the same broadcast.
Speaker 31 The head anchor, or one of the anchors, and the on-the-scene reporter team up and are aware of something bad the co-anchor did.
Speaker 31
And they continually hint at the issue seamlessly while doing the broadcast. The topic is agreed upon.
We're going to text each other before it starts.
Speaker 31 And the other anchor tries to guess what the two are hinting at.
Speaker 65 Look, I love every variation of this same game.
Speaker 77 I know.
Speaker 5 And this one's no different. I can't wait to play it.
Speaker 40 So where's Scott?
Speaker 5 Scott, where do you want to be? Greg or Greg.
Speaker 31 I'll be whatever. Since I don't have a camera, what is...
Speaker 11 So you should be the
Speaker 31 on the scene?
Speaker 88 Yeah.
Speaker 34 Okay.
Speaker 28 And then
Speaker 28 which one do you want to be, Paul? The co-anchor or the head anchor?
Speaker 32 Are you tricking or being tricked?
Speaker 74 I'll be tricked.
Speaker 61 Okay. Okay.
Speaker 28
So I'm the head anchor and Scott and I will work together. We'll text each other what you did and we're going to work on getting that out to you.
ASAP.
Speaker 20 ASAP.
Speaker 20 Paul, just hold on to your hat.
Speaker 28 And in other news, all of the puppies are free now. So they're running around the park and they will be available for adoption if any of them make it back to the park.
Speaker 26 Great stuff. Really good to hear that.
Speaker 25 Yeah.
Speaker 66 We go now with a story, following up on a story we were talking about earlier.
Speaker 53 There was a big fire at one of the big buildings downtown, and we have a reporter down there right now, Mitch Carondo.
Speaker 54 Mitch Carondo down there on the scene.
Speaker 47 Mitch, what can you do?
Speaker 28 Mitch the bitch, what's going on, buddy?
Speaker 41 Mitch, I got to stick on.
Speaker 31 I really wish you wouldn't call me that.
Speaker 31 I've asked you several, several times to please.
Speaker 11 Yeah,
Speaker 31 especially on air.
Speaker 15 But it's in good fun, and I feel like you're asking us not to do it also in good fun.
Speaker 24 So, we're going to continue to do it.
Speaker 31 I now have people on the street coming up to me, calling me bitch.
Speaker 31 They're not even calling me Mitch the bitch. They're just calling me bitch the mitch.
Speaker 28 That might just be what they're calling you.
Speaker 20 I don't know.
Speaker 20 I think it's the best.
Speaker 66 What can you tell us about the fire?
Speaker 31
All right. Well, um, the fire, uh, uh, as you can see, it's still blazing behind me.
It's been going on for now 72 hours.
Speaker 17 Uh, only one building.
Speaker 31 They can't seem to get it out.
Speaker 2 They've run out of water.
Speaker 31 And
Speaker 31 it's a restaurant. And of course, you know restaurants
Speaker 34 very well.
Speaker 71 You do.
Speaker 28 You really do, buddy.
Speaker 67 Well, you know, well, you know cooking.
Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, you're familiar with what happens in them.
Speaker 31 And
Speaker 5 so listen,
Speaker 5 we can't see who you're looking at.
Speaker 26 It would help if you use our names.
Speaker 24 We're talking about you.
Speaker 82 What are are your names again? We've never discussed that.
Speaker 28 Well, obviously, my co-anchor here is Rilph.
Speaker 2 Rilph. Rilph.
Speaker 22 Oh, okay.
Speaker 42 Rilph the Dilph.
Speaker 41 That's right.
Speaker 17 I'm a dad you would like to fuck.
Speaker 26 According to the poll that we took over Labor Day weekend, and thank you to everyone who voted me a dad that you would like to fuck.
Speaker 31 Wait, do you call me a bitch because of a poll that people voted on?
Speaker 49 Yeah.
Speaker 20 Sure.
Speaker 28 And obviously, my name is Runt.
Speaker 31 Runt, Rilph, and Runt. Why have we never talked about your names? I've worked here for well, we're not the news.
Speaker 5 We report the news, and we don't like to be part of the story.
Speaker 28 It doesn't matter who the mouthpiece is. Now, can we just get back? Speaking of mouthpiece, Rilf, you love to eat, but you don't love to speak.
Speaker 46 I love to eat, but I don't love to speak.
Speaker 69 Well, I mean,
Speaker 69 when it's important,
Speaker 31 you don't speak.
Speaker 34 Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 28 You hold your tongue, but then when you want something, you laugh it up.
Speaker 31 Yeah, you certainly do. A lot like some of the bystanders here who are refusing to talk about who set the fire.
Speaker 5 Yeah. Right, bitch.
Speaker 15 Have the fire department released the names of any suspects to any cause of the fire?
Speaker 31 Well, I mean, I don't know why you would be so concerned about that, Rilph,
Speaker 31 because aren't you used to just kind of turning your back to that kind of thing?
Speaker 28 Now, Bitch, when we talk about that, what we mean by that is, and of course, I'm just getting on the same page as you, that Rilph is somebody who doesn't really stand up for what's right.
Speaker 24
Yeah, he doesn't. I beg your pardon.
What did you say?
Speaker 50 Yeah, what do you think?
Speaker 28 He doesn't really stand up for what's right.
Speaker 31 And I mean, you know, I mean, it's not like you care about people taking personal responsibility. So why do you care if they found a suspect or not?
Speaker 7 Okay, well, it is part of the news.
Speaker 44 And
Speaker 73 it sounds like you're accusing me of something and something to do with food and restaurants and eating, not speaking, not standing up for someone.
Speaker 20 And I think it's that someone, I saw someone be slapped at a restaurant and i didn't say anything well i'll tell you ralph this was
Speaker 31 that easy this was one of the few restaurants that catered to a poorer clientele people who were uh very concerned with how they spent their money pinchers penny pinchers i don't know of another way to say this but uh they were they with their money they certainly were they were thoughtful about how they spent it about how they spent it yeah and unfortunately this place is now gone i actually think i think google was named after this word
Speaker 31 i mean it certainly rhymes with it but
Speaker 31 in any case.
Speaker 28 Well, because Google is a free search engine and the word that rhymes is a cheap way to be.
Speaker 82 Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 31 But in real life.
Speaker 24 You're saying frugal.
Speaker 20 Frugal is the word.
Speaker 60 Well, yeah, you're saying it is what I'm saying.
Speaker 30 So you're saying, I believe if I'm correct, and we'll get back to the fire in just a minute, bitch.
Speaker 15 But what you're saying is that
Speaker 54 I'm a cheapskate.
Speaker 28 You're saying you certainly interacted with one quite a lot, one of your good friends,
Speaker 42 very famously frugal.
Speaker 31 Yeah, very famously famously frugal and also uh uh you know uh was a restaurateur of sorts and a creep ass yeah
Speaker 7 uh i i you might be talking about my friend uh jeff smith uh
Speaker 26 if i if i'm not much mistaken and of course i have i have uh detailed our relationship and how i didn't know uh what he was doing at the time and uh that's why i never said anything Yeah, it looks like that fire bitch has gone down completely behind you because the building is gone.
Speaker 31 Yeah, it actually just burnt out just while we were talking.
Speaker 60 Because the building building is gone.
Speaker 28 The building's totally gone, and all the people are gone, and everything's gone. So, that was really
Speaker 28 horrible reporting on your part, bitch.
Speaker 20 And I, yeah, I was not paying attention.
Speaker 31 Sorry, yeah, I do hope that the firemen weren't just listening to us and they were trying to put the fire out, but maybe they were pretty distracted by me because I was waving to them, like, hey, I need to talk to you during this whole thing, right?
Speaker 55 Right, right, right.
Speaker 26 Well, Mitch, the bitch, thank you for that report.
Speaker 7 Uh, it's a shame it wasn't more informational, but uh, that is the news game.
Speaker 17 Anyway, uh, I am selling copies of signed
Speaker 54 recipe books from Just Smith the Frugal Gourmet
Speaker 5 at a discounted price. I was selling cookies.
Speaker 69 And to be clear, these are recipe books.
Speaker 28
These are not cookbooks. These are just recipe books.
They're recipe books.
Speaker 20 Recipes for what?
Speaker 52 To teach you how to cook anything.
Speaker 19 They are just, they are actually, to be strictly fair, they are ingredient books.
Speaker 15 These are just lists of the ingredients that are in certain dishes.
Speaker 28 So it's basically a dictionary, but only the food words.
Speaker 19 That's exactly right.
Speaker 80 And they're in alphabetical order.
Speaker 21 And
Speaker 54 there's no
Speaker 54 amounts listed, no units of measurement.
Speaker 5 It is strictly just all the food words from the body.
Speaker 69 Strictly Dickly. It's a glossy.
Speaker 24 Strictly Dickly.
Speaker 21 Strictly Dickly.
Speaker 20 Strictly Dickly.
Speaker 19 Which is what I nicknamed Jeff Smith, the frugal gourmet.
Speaker 40 Strictly Dickly? Yep.
Speaker 21 Okay, I knew it.
Speaker 20 I knew about it.
Speaker 3 I knew about all of it.
Speaker 24 Oh, we knew it.
Speaker 28 You're a bad person.
Speaker 83 This is my final broadcast.
Speaker 26 And, Runt, I want to say what a pleasure it's been serving by your side.
Speaker 15 And Mitch the Bitch, always a pleasure to see you standing in front of a building that burned down.
Speaker 25 I love you, Rolf.
Speaker 48 I love you too.
Speaker 20 I love you both. Yeah, I've never said it before.
Speaker 28 Well, I love you guys too.
Speaker 34 Yeah,
Speaker 28 and I've never said that at all to anyone.
Speaker 31 Do you think I could have your job? Are you able to name your successor?
Speaker 42 Or?
Speaker 31 Because I'm tired of being out here in the cold.
Speaker 7 I think because I am disgraced, I don't think they're going to let me name my successor.
Speaker 32 Yeah, I think being disgraced is a part of a problem for that. Yeah.
Speaker 20
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaker 17 Yeah.
Speaker 5 So I don't know. It might be up to Runt here.
Speaker 31 Yeah, Runt. Do you? I mean, do I have a shot?
Speaker 42 Or
Speaker 28 replacing him?
Speaker 32 Him. Yeah.
Speaker 28 I have a few other people on my mind.
Speaker 89 Who are you?
Speaker 20 Who are you?
Speaker 7 I picked for Mitch the Bitch.
Speaker 28 There's this cool guy named Sly who has a lot of stuff going on with his phone.
Speaker 17 Welcome to the news.
Speaker 31 I was in the next studio over.
Speaker 25 Hey, if you heard about the weather, it's still going to rain. And here's the guy to tell you all about it.
Speaker 14 It's Rayman.
Speaker 34 Yeah.
Speaker 33 Rainman.
Speaker 20 That's what he calls the weather.
Speaker 60 Yeah, so I'm picking him.
Speaker 20 All right. Well,
Speaker 31 I'm going to quit.
Speaker 34 Okay.
Speaker 28 Well, I'm going to stay because I'm now finally going to break the glass ceiling and I'm just curious what it feels like.
Speaker 13 And on behalf of myself, Runt, Mitch the Bitch, and all of us here at the WPVX family.
Speaker 31 I really wish you wouldn't speak for me.
Speaker 48 Good night, and don't forget to be a tattletale.
Speaker 3 All right. Fun housing.
Speaker 21 Good three.
Speaker 10 Good three.
Speaker 64 Thank you.
Speaker 11 Sorry, Sean.
Speaker 45 Sorry, Sorry, Sean.
Speaker 24 This one was great.
Speaker 28
Sean did great. Sorry, KP.
We didn't get to that.
Speaker 19 Oh, it was KP.
Speaker 45 Sean was the one who did good.
Speaker 11 KP
Speaker 31
poorly. Yeah.
Sorry, KP.
Speaker 7 Constantly poorly.
Speaker 5 That's what KP stands for.
Speaker 68 Wow, spelled wrong.
Speaker 72 That's great.
Speaker 57 Yeah, even that.
Speaker 19 I know. Even that was poorly done.
Speaker 20 I love it.
Speaker 28 I love it so much.
Speaker 89 And I love it.
Speaker 41 Oh, I want to say it.
Speaker 61 And I love it so much.
Speaker 87 I love it so much.
Speaker 34 Sickenating.
Speaker 31 This is it.
Speaker 20 We have fun, guys.
Speaker 52 What a wonderful, weird episode we just had.
Speaker 28 It was really a weird episode, and I hope everyone loved it. And I really hope you all get a cameo from Paul.
Speaker 20 I hope you do, too.
Speaker 57 I hope you do, too.
Speaker 5 Listen, we're Freedom USA on Twitter and Instagram. We are threedomusa at gmail.com.
Speaker 53 We have a phone number.
Speaker 25 Don't know what it is.
Speaker 14 No. We know.
Speaker 19 We refuse to look it up.
Speaker 8 Maybe somebody could put it in the chat.
Speaker 50 I don't think it exists yet.
Speaker 20 No?
Speaker 5 We recorded an outgoing message.
Speaker 31 Yeah, in anticipation.
Speaker 71 Yeah, they're slow to say that.
Speaker 5 No, we made that a priority to record an outgoing message for a number we don't have.
Speaker 31 Still in the works, Kevin says.
Speaker 51 Still in the works.
Speaker 46 Well, hey, everybody.
Speaker 56 I guess, you know, just keep an ear out for that phone number news.
Speaker 51 It's still in the works.
Speaker 28 I'm sure if you follow us.
Speaker 31 I mean, you know how hard it is to get a phone number.
Speaker 20 Have you ever seen
Speaker 14 that one?
Speaker 15 Here's why we're it's taking so long.
Speaker 53 We're paying for new numbers to be made. Investigators.
Speaker 68 Yeah, because we pay.
Speaker 28 So you've heard of 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.
Speaker 31 We're trying to get 10 and 11 and 12 put on the phone.
Speaker 28
Oh, well, yeah. See, I know we're trying to get 10, 11, and 12 put onto the phone number.
I also know we're trying to get Flarvin and Blim.
Speaker 20 Yeah.
Speaker 53 Do you know how about that fucking remember Seleno and Barnes?
Speaker 44 And now Seleno's dead.
Speaker 67 And now it's just the Barnes Barnes firm, injury attorneys, divided
Speaker 11 eight million.
Speaker 28 Wow, that's sad.
Speaker 31 I didn't know that uh Florence is gone or whoever you're talking about.
Speaker 20 No more Salino, Salino, no more cilantro. I'm really sorry, no more cilantro ever.
Speaker 53 He got shot in the fucking head by Monte Corleo.
Speaker 29 All right, goodbye.
Speaker 17 Too long,
Speaker 28 bye, bye.
Speaker 92 Our healthcare system is broken in so many ways.
Speaker 37 We have a healthcare system that's supposed to be taking care of people that is making it literally more difficult for people to put food on the table.
Speaker 92 So this season, we'll dive into the challenges headfirst while also thinking about how we can find a better way because we all deserve better.
Speaker 92 Uncared for season three from Lemonada Media, available August 6th, wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 93 Hey, it's Lena Waith. Legacy Talk is my love letter to Black storytellers, artists who've changed the game and paved the way for so many of us.
Speaker 93 This season, I'm sitting down with icons like Felicia Rashad, Loretta Devine, Eva Duvernay, and more.
Speaker 93
We're talking about their journeys, their creative process, and the legacies they're building every single day. Come be a part of the conversation.
Season 2 drops July 29th.
Speaker 93 Listen to Legacy Talk wherever you get your podcast, or watch us on YouTube.