Threevisiting: OH I HAD A POINT!

Hey, it's me, Steve Burns, and I'm so glad you're here because you and I go way back, right?

Yeah, and look at us now.

Like, we're all grown up.

We've got this new podcast where we talk about all this grown-up stuff, and there's special guests like Jamie Lee Curtis and Bill Nye, but for the most part, it's about you.

I mean, it's always been about you.

From Lemonada Media, a live with Steve Burns is coming September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts, or you can watch every episode on YouTube.

What's the name of our show?

I'll tell you.

Freedom!

No, I didn't hear you because I wasn't listening.

You were shouting.

Freedom!

You were shouting the word that you wondered what.

Oh, that's how we know.

Isn't it funny?

Do you think people would buy that as a single?

Just that tender sound?

The freedom.

Well, we just did.

The freedom theme song by Mike Kellarkey.

Yes, with us talking over it.

And then a little bit of the conversation afterwards.

Up to this point, now.

It's almost Christmas.

I think it would be a number one single.

It is almost Christmas.

And it's also Hanukkah.

And it's also, it's a Christmas this year, that's right.

Christmas, which I'm so excited about because that means

both with my family.

My family's Jewish.

Yes, I'm very excited.

Who?

I've been hearing a lot about you in the news.

I'd be actually interested in boy or boy.

I'm very excited for Hanukkah because it's always very fun with my family.

I have a nice little

latka.

I am not Jewish, but I talk.

I do.

I have a menorah.

I put it out

when it's a Christmas.

That's nice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm Scott.

Oh, okay.

That's Scott, by the way.

Well, you know, so my sister-in-law is Jewish, and my nephews are Jewish.

I always want to buy them fun menorah because I see so many

fun menoras.

You weird ass.

Let's call it.

Wait, but you, but like, how many menorahs do you have?

That's why I don't buy them.

Ah.

But I did buy them during the pandemic.

I bought them a blue Hanukkah tree, a Christmas tree that's cool.

Nice.

And some Hanukkah ornaments because I was like, you need some pandemic fun, you know?

Did you feel like buying that tree, did you feel like, I know this will be received well?

Or is this like a correlation?

They celebrate Christmas with my celebration.

They just don't always put up a tree.

Sometimes they do put up a tree.

But I thought this way you would be more excited to put it up because it's kind of both.

Yes.

And

they like it.

I asked before I sent that.

It's a very large gift to somebody with that.

Making sure they want that.

Yes.

I passed the

gnome.

It was a gnome.

Passed the gnome.

You passed the gnome.

So you swallowed it and finally passed it.

That thing goes in easier than it goes out.

Let me tell you.

I will say that.

No, the gnome you hid in my bushes.

Yeah, what about it?

Passed it the other day and saw it.

Oh, you passed it.

Yes.

Uh-huh.

And you thought of me and I thought of you and I thought, what a nice thing to do.

Oh, well, that was fun.

For me to thank you for.

That was so nice of you.

Mine's on our porch.

Oh, mine's in my yard, too, and it's really fun.

It's freely fun.

I actually have two.

I have the big and the little.

How come you didn't get us two?

And you just gave us little ones controls.

I think I gave you the little one.

Okay.

But you have two.

If I see the big ones, they changed the model.

So if anyone out there in the Target Garden section, there is Lauren's a gnome freak.

We talked about it on a previous episode.

She's a fucking freak for gnome.

Well, I have a lot of little gnome houses in my yard.

She looks like a little pointy-headed freak.

There's a website that's called

My Fairy Home or something like that.

I think their heads are pointy.

Are gnomes' heads pointy?

No, that's the cone heads you're there.

Because they take off the hat and they rub their heads.

Parental units.

Fran, we are from France.

Well, have you ever seen David the Gnome?

Is he from who?

David the Gnome is like an old, well, it's like a 90s cartoon that I think was probably a German cartoon.

I don't know, it has the look of being a Germ man, but I don't know if it is.

And it's

on Nickelodeon, and they, the theme song is really fun.

The world of David the Gnome.

The world is a vampire.

You got to hear the theme song.

Wait.

Title screen of original David El Nomo opening.

It's originally from Open.

David El Nomo.

Oh, it's a Spanish seat.

I didn't know that.

Oh, interesting.

Okay.

It's narrated by Teofilo Martinez.

Well, like the American version is

just voiced over or dubbed over or something.

A really great cartoon.

Oh, it's from 1985 to 1987.

You guys are both on your phones.

It was followed by.

I'm doing my best.

We're informing the public.

I don't know what we're talking about.

David's a no, motherfucker.

What don't you fucking get?

You are making me mad.

Hey, now it's freezing in here, right?

It's so cold.

I like it.

I was able to.

You like it?

Okay, David Letterman.

Keep it.

Keep it.

Yosoy, David El Nomo.

Greetings, my friends.

In my magical kingdom, I wear a pointy hat and I go where I like.

I don't grant wishes.

That's somebody else.

Lauren is so

chanting.

What's that?

Lauren loves it.

Let's just let it get a little bit further.

I can't wait to see where it goes.

This is where it breaks down.

I'm David the November.

I'm here to say I like to wear a hat every day.

Birds that talk and fish that sing.

Birds that talk,

Unusual.

There are birds that can talk, fish and sing.

Now you've got my attention.

This is a show?

Yes.

I'm really behind.

It's almost over.

You will find the kingdom come.

No.

Oh, it's a kingdom.

I don't like that.

Yeah.

Well, it rocks.

Down with the monarchy.

Yes, exactly.

Yes.

Are you going to watch the Megan Markle documentary?

No.

I'm not either.

I'm sure I will.

She has a documentary?

She and Harry made their own dot

like a true story.

They're finally telling suits, and then she meets him.

It's like we just watched the most recent season of The Crown.

I've seen random episodes of that, which I enjoy.

And it's in the Diana years now where they get the divorce.

That's the part I was most excited about.

But it is.

I know the most.

Well, then you should watch it.

That's the part I've seen.

But

yes.

Scott?

Is like one of the last scenes where Kevin Costner calls her and says, Will you be in the bodyguard too?

And she says, Yes.

And the night before she dies.

Is that true?

Yes.

Famously, Famously, I met her.

Famously, I met her.

I did not know this story, and that's fucking insane.

But anyway, no,

she's still alive at the end of this season.

Okay.

Oh, no, that's so horrible.

She's about to meet Dodi, Alfayette.

That's awful.

Hi, Dodi.

I'm sure I'll never die with you.

Oh, my God.

You are a bad.

So you have to see them.

So you're a bad man, is what you're saying.

I just, those things that are set in the past where we all know the ends, I know.

That's the type of

fucking dumb foreshadowing and shit.

Oh, I see.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

One thing that's funny is Elizabeth DeBicky plays Diana in this season.

Who's Elizabeth DeBicky again?

She's a extremely tall actress.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

From Reading to the Go.

So,

have there been two seasons of Diana?

Number two.

Yes.

Yeah.

Because I saw some of the first Diana.

There was the first Diana.

She was so, or they were so good.

It's a non-binary actor who did such a great job.

And then Elizabeth DeBicky is, she's good, but she's like, her being so tall, she plays Diana.

Oh.

Her being so tall.

I'm not here to defend the tall person.

Just wait.

But it's kind of distracting when you're playing somebody that you know is not that tall.

She was tall.

She was not, she did not tower over Prince Charles.

Oh, okay.

Which you see.

Like, they don't have him on a box or anything.

How tall was she?

It is just

a frame tall.

Was she tall?

Her head.

How tall was Princess?

Are you thinking that because you met her when you were a child?

I was tall.

Honestly, I was just thinking that might have been true.

But I would guess she's 5'8 ⁇ .

Hold on, let's find out.

5'10, 5'10.

5'10.

5'10?

Wow.

But Davigi's like 6'3, isn't she?

I think she's over 6 feet tall.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure either.

Well, you know,

you gotta look her up.

And then how tall is Prince Charles?

That's the other thing.

He's four foot.

Don't you love when you see his feet and hands?

I love it so much when I see his feet and hands.

I've never seen his feet.

I saw the feet the other day.

Why?

Are they the same as the hands?

We were hockey son.

Wiggy feet.

She browses around.

She checks on her score, and then she goes over to her.

You know what?

To me, what they say is I have never lifted a thing in my life.

I've only walked once.

I've never done it.

It's like print status of like, his hands are so soft.

His feet are so soft and plump.

I thought you were talking about your own Wiki feed.

My Wiki feed is like

a thing in my life.

She is 6'3.

Oh, like she's 6'3.

That's significantly taller than 5'10.

Yes.

And significantly taller than everyone else on screen.

But she, but it makes her.

As an actress, it's different.

I know, honey, we're not disparaging you.

Does Diana Diana wear hats too?

Like, I'm sure, like, if there's a hat scene, they're like, We can't do hats.

I think just at weddings and shit.

You got to put her in flats the whole time.

You got to put her in flats, and then she's still like a giantess.

But

there's something about it that makes her very bird-like in the wig and everything.

So she's kind of like, yeah, I think she's trying to make herself a little bit smaller sometimes.

Oh, like, hey, I know I'm not supposed to be so tall.

Wait, why did I fucking bring that up?

The crown.

So there's scenes where.

There's scenes where...

Oh, I had a point.

This is what.

AKA three to something that never happens on the show.

It happens so rarely that it is cause for celebration.

Come on.

Let's celebrate.

She, you know, she tells, she sort of covertly does an autobiography with, what's his name?

Andrew Morton.

For Morton Steakhouse?

Yeah, exactly.

Cool.

She said,

are you tired of writing steak menus?

Do you want to write about me?

It was crazy.

She had the foresight to know

this.

Nobody sees this coming.

So, but then she does an interview later with the BBC.

And as I was thinking it,

they have, I think, Queen Elizabeth say it on screen, like, how many times is she going to tell her story?

Finally tell her story.

She's done it like again and again and again.

And I feel like the same with Prince Harry and Megan Markle.

It's like, finally, we tell our side of the story again.

Well, what I always hear is your side.

That's exactly.

I saw you're the other side for once.

Yeah, no one knows the full story, only we know the full story.

And I guess now we're all gonna know it.

I bet we know it.

I bet we could guess it.

Yeah, I mean, I'm they suck.

Okay, I'm interested.

I'm

the royal family.

Everyone?

Everyone's called incredibly archaic, outdated institution made up of inbred people suck.

Well, I don't understand.

Of course.

I apologize to people who love it for reasons that I can't comprehend.

But what is there to like about it?

It's just ceremonial, right?

But you know, I have always enjoyed the Royal Family.

It's the tradition aspect of it.

Tradition.

Not enjoy it, I guess, but I've taken an interest.

Tradition.

And every time that I've been so lucky to travel to London, I enjoy

going by and seeing the things and seeing the jewels and all that type of show.

I find it very interesting to some extent.

But I, I think, and I also think it's actually more interesting in some ways now with it being so modern and there being and now people breaking away from it.

It's like it's changing.

Like I think when you go and you look at the museum stuff and you see all the old jewels, it's like it feels so long ago.

It's actually not.

I think that's part of what's interesting with the crown

is that you go, wait, that was like the 50s.

You know, it's like, it's not long ago.

Like, that's kind of weird.

Like those people that we're talking about are like,

it's like, I sort of put them in a category like they're not the same age as people i really know do you know it's like they're they exist in this other world but it's like no that's my grandma's age 200 years earlier than the time that they're

right but it's like no they're happening they're still doing it they could go to target they just don't you know that'd be so cool to see

prince charles at target the great leveler

but will you go to target prince

king charles excuse me king charles that's true he's the king now we thought we we thought it would never happen do you know i referred to Princess Diana as Lady Die almost all the time when I think of her?

I forget that she was Princess Die because she was Lady Die for such a long time when I was growing up.

And then I heard an English person on a TV show refer to her as Lady Die, and I felt like, oh, I'm not the only one.

What's the difference?

Before she was Princess Die, she was Lady Die.

So she became princess when

she married

Prince Charles.

But she

was a very good person.

Well, the first time

the first time she gave him a blowjob.

Because Princess became because Kate has been married and not been.

So I was just, I'm just doing them, making the family tree in my head.

So she was

Duchess.

She was engaged.

She was Lady Die.

That's what I'm wondering.

Like, how do you get the title of Lady?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm not a touch.

And then, of course, Lord Die.

Nobody talks about him.

I think there's a lot of men from my generation who are from Mars, we know.

Who don't really know anything about them?

Yeah, why would nobody should.

But I feel like I was raised to know about them.

I feel you were raised to meet her.

I was.

I'm old enough to have

someday our daughter is going to meet a baby die.

I was grouped for it.

Your parents were like, This is going to be your daughter.

This is extremely exciting.

You're going to peak early, but

when I was, I remember the royal wedding happening when I was a kid.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was a huge deal.

Or how old was it?

Do I remember that?

I just saw it.

You're right.

Or I've seen videos.

You may have just seen videos.

It took place.

Because I was like young.

It took place in the middle.

No, then I'm sure I didn't know that.

Yes, here we watched it in the middle of the day.

Yeah.

I don't know what time it was there.

I want to see what year they got.

1 a.m.

They got married at 1 a.m.

Well, she passed away so that we could watch it.

She passed away in 96 or 7.

Yeah.

97.

Seven?

97.

In January.

I was at the.

No, because they got married in 81.

So that was before I was born.

But they, so I must have just seen it 5 million.

You don't have to rub it.

Well, because I've seen it.

I've seen it.

She looked pointedly at me.

I felt so familiar, but I'm like, I wasn't, I clearly didn't.

Lauren said that's before I was born.

She looked right at me and she put her thumb in her mouth like she was a baby.

And she said, goo?

And then followed by goo.

Followed it up with God.

I was at the rustic inn on Hillhurst and sitting in the back in one of the rustic inn.

The old rustic inn.

And they had a TV there.

How'd you get there?

And what was your route?

Let's see.

I probably

went from, it's time I was living on Cherokee.

I probably went Franklin and then

turned, I guess, left on Hillhurst.

That left is not bad.

Hold on a second.

Yeah, I left on Hillhurst.

Yeah.

It's a tough left street.

But then it's on the place is on the right, so I have to cross the street.

But I remember a guy jumped up when the news came on.

This fucking guy jumped out of his seat and went, oh my God, no.

And he dropped to his knees.

like clutching his head.

I thought it was that she got married.

No, no,

I thought I had a shot.

I was just about to fly over there.

No, I remember watching it on the news and it was really devastating because I had just met her.

This guy was like, why is it always the good ones?

Wasn't this.

Because

I know I was in San Luis Obispo playing in a amateur football game that we would play the week.

What the fuck are you talking about?

Between

amateur football game.

Yes.

Thank you.

Was it the peanuts edition?

You were not playing in the NFL.

Was it the Peanuts Edition?

Peanuts football.

Peanuts kicking and fucking.

Come on.

Shut the fuck up.

Was it Peanuts football?

OJ, we got to take a break.

Scott was playing football.

Shut the fuck up.

We got to take a break.

I'll tell this on the other side.

Yeah, in the meantime, shut the fuck up.

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We're back.

Okay, so I was playing

the week after the final game of the playoffs

and prior to the

Super Bowl.

Okay.

We would

play.

It just was

like who did this game.

We would play a game called the Doug Ball, named after my friend Doug, up in San Luis Obispo.

Doug.

Where it was

the short hairs versus the long hairs.

What did you say?

The short hairs versus the long.

You had enough friends with long hair?

Yeah, because in San Luis Obispo, everyone's like,

a certain type of person has long hair and is kind of a layabout.

And then there's a certain type of person who has a job and is a household corporate guy.

So it was the short hairs versus the long hairs.

They're both bad, to be clear.

I hate them all.

Yeah.

So we, so.

If they were dogs, I'd like it.

The short hairs versus the long hairs.

I just remember it happening then.

So was it the Sunday or was it Saturday night?

I don't remember the day of the week, and I apologize for that.

Well, Scott loves to remember the day and the location of the film.

I remember it was nighttime.

It was night, so it must have been the Saturday night.

So you were not day drinking.

Yes.

Because I remember it.

I must not have heard it on the Saturday night.

I must have like woken up.

Did the news reach the Doug Bowl?

It did.

So it came out on the field but i believe we died in the early hours of the 31st of august 1997 so it must have been middle of the night hey real quick um my middle of the night in france in the middle of the night she died in france okay so let's do a minute oh he's in a paris tunnel right at what time did we learn about it in the u.s yes okay

what

while you're looking for that here's some other celebrity heights because this is people also search for these oh good claire four five four daisy ridley five seven Daisy Ridley.

I'm trying to picture these people as you say.

John David Washington, 5'9.

Dominic West, 6 feet.

From the affair.

What time is it in Paris?

Tom Hollander, 5'5.

Alicia Vikander, 5'6.

So it's 1 a.m.

right now.

So it would have been...

So let's say she died at 4.53 a.m.

So it's three hours later,

almost four hours.

So it was 8 p.m.

here.

Okay, so it must have been, yeah, it must have been Saturday night.

There we go.

I think.

So I have an airtight alibi.

I could be, but

that's where I I was.

And you were not in France?

I was not in France.

I was at the Rustic Inn.

Okay.

Tell me if you recognize this name, Pom Clementif?

Oh, yeah, from Guardians of the Galaxy.

Oh, 5'7.

Oh, cool.

What does Pom play?

She's Mantis.

She has a big part in the Christmas special.

I haven't seen that.

I don't remember Mantis.

I've seen

the first two movies.

The Princess Diana Beanie Baby making it a topic of that generation.

Very true.

Very true.

Were those made before she passed away, or were they made after?

They were in Memoriam because they had the women.

They were made to replace her.

One of them.

Don't worry, guys.

We got this handled.

She will not, you will not have the void of her in your life.

We're going to make this baby baby.

It's going to do everything you need.

And you can retire.

Well, you buy this thing and you're set for life.

Well, if you have one, it does all the same things that you had when she was alive and that you didn't speak to her.

That's right.

She didn't talk to her.

Exactly.

Why did they make more beanie babies of dead people?

Are beanie babies still worth anything?

No, and I've tried beanie babies.

They really aren't.

No, yeah, I really

thought they were going to like send their kids to college with us.

Well, my mom did sell some of mine at the time, and I remember being a little upset, but she got a few hundred bucks for a few of them.

And I was like, you know what?

Looking back, she was right.

I don't know which ones.

I don't know which ones are gone.

Yeah, she did.

She went on a bender.

She loves getting hot.

But I have all my beanie babies here in LA now.

So if you guys want to see them sometime, I'd love to.

I have all my NFTs here.

Oh, great.

As well.

I have all my NFTs here.

Remember when we talked about NFTs a lot?

Yeah.

That was like a moment for us.

That was fun.

Yeah.

Like, should we do them?

Should we not do them?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I remember we were torn.

What other are

like that one company went out of business?

It was a big scandal, right?

The

FTX?

Yeah, they're all like three-letter companies.

Like WTF, guys, right?

And MFG.

No fucking token.

Yeah, I don't know.

No fucking token.

Are they still like, it's all going to collapse, isn't it?

That dumb shit?

I have no idea.

Well, there are a lot of crypto bros who will get very angry if you say

that amazing company.

And they will defend Elon Musk.

I think there's a whole community actively participating in that, but I do think it became less talked about.

Why did we kind of all I just don't think anyone likes him anymore?

Okay.

Yeah, I don't like him.

Yeah.

There was a time you really liked.

Oh, I liked them so much.

Remember when on Twitter you could replace your circular profile picture with

octagonal.

No, what?

Yeah.

I didn't, I didn't know you were halfway done.

Wow.

Lauren, I'm so proud of you.

Lauren's halfway done with the signing.

I'm going to piss on these now.

No.

But I could if I wanted to.

You could.

You could go to the bathroom.

Oh, I've just turned all over.

My hands hurt.

No.

I was surprised.

I did not get.

Neither did I.

Well, I hurt you.

My hands are cold, I think, is what I'm experiencing.

Okay, do you want us to turn up the heat, dear?

No.

Okay.

I don't want to.

Feel the heat.

I loved that record.

Some like it it, huh?

I liked Robert Palmer.

Yeah.

I used to listen to Robert Palmer.

I like that song, Doctor, Doctor, Give Me the News.

Yeah, that's a good one.

I liked his

speech.

But the remake of Bang and Gong, I thought, was very good.

That was also from PowerStation.

That was the PowerStar.

That album's great.

And it actually was what he based his hit, the sound that he based his hit songs on after that, because of the success of that album.

It's such a positive experience.

Yeah, well, he used Tony Thompson.

Is that the drummer from Chic?

He used him, one of the Thompson twins.

No, no, anyway.

Did you know they weren't twins?

I did.

And there were three of them?

Yeah.

What?

Can you imagine?

I saw a picture of them and I was like, am I allowed to see this picture?

Because the secret's out.

When you first saw Boy George,

what did you think?

I mean,

I was a kid.

I was, I guess, a teen.

You're a teenager, yeah.

And of course, you know, I thought he's like, this guy's the craziest thing I've ever seen.

Yeah.

And then you were like, I like it.

I thought it was normal and everyone acting like it was crazy was weird.

Scott.

That's how far advanced I am.

He was a weirdo.

He's good friends with one of the real housewives.

Which one?

That's not surprising.

Is it Dorit?

Who's he always going to be?

Oh, that's right.

Didn't he sing at one of my parties?

Yeah.

I I don't know how I know that.

She's like, boy, George is going to sing at my party.

Her accent's.

Boy, George is going to sing.

It's my party.

I'm not doing it right.

Would you do a real housewife show?

With just the three of us.

Yeah.

But you know what?

I do know.

I do know multiple people who were asked to be real housewives.

Really?

Do you really?

I do.

Do you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And,

well, yeah.

I mean, you know, of taste.

I'll tell you later.

But.

They both said no, but I'm like, this, I was begging them to do it because I was like.

So when you said multiple people, it was two.

Two.

Yeah.

That's multiple.

I mean, it is multiple.

I was trying to keep it a little different.

It does.

It does seem.

But can you believe I knew more than one?

No.

No, I can't.

Can you believe anyone at all?

I can't.

No.

And neither of them, I know.

And neither of them are what you would think of as typical.

That type.

But this year, they're kind of shaking it up.

Like, New York is about to have like Jenna Lyons, who's like the, she used to do all.

She wants the design.

She was like the head of J.

Crew and did all of their like huge rebranding when they became became like really like gold, glitter, fun, action.

I don't know what this was.

Well, it happened.

And

whether you know it or not, it's history.

And she's super cool, but she like, she seems too cool.

You know, it's like we got a whole new generation coming in of interesting people.

Because you want someone who's a bit of a hot miss.

Well, I think we'll find out that some of them are.

But I can't wait.

Let's just do it.

Don't you think it would be fun to do?

And you don't have to call it real housewives.

You can switch pens, by the way, if that one's running.

You don't have to call it real housewives, but just call it like the three friends.

And if

the cameras follow us around, the three friendwives.

I don't think we would make a good reality show.

I think, I think, don't you think it'd be horrible?

I think we would be forced to sort of fight with each other.

We'd be like, yeah, we'll

manufacturing fights.

Heavily scripted.

Yes, of course.

I mean, already on Mike, we're playing it up a little bit.

We talk exactly like this when we're hanging out.

It's so open so we have to do.

Well, let's do our

intro, our little intro lines.

Like when they

have intro lines or they say something.

I just get down with whatever.

Yeah.

Like that.

Okay.

Just get down with whatever.

I've had to find it.

I am a slut.

So Lauren, you start us off because you know this form

very well.

So it's like the music.

How about like, okay, so I go like the three friend wives of Los Angeles.

And then the title comes up.

Wait, Lauren.

Is this Lauren, Kulop, and Janie are in the show?

No, it's just the three of us.

We're the three friend wives.

So we see we're the three friend wives.

So we see Lauren.

Okay.

Like she turns around into frame, you know, and then her name comes up.

I don't just talk dirty.

I play dirty too.

Scott.

Oh,

these guys hang out with me as sort of a favor.

Okay, that's a little off scene.

It could be a little sassy right there.

Oh, okay.

Let's

kill you in again.

Wow, Scott.

I'm old and I'm tired all the time.

Oh, no.

Actually, that was a little better.

But I think we can beat it.

Yeah, yeah, let's do one more.

Wow, Scott.

I have some impending medical problems that I'm really worried about.

Oh, now we're going backwards.

No, I think that.

Okay, Paul.

Like, if there's a sort of play on words or something, that's always fun.

That's kind of why I use dirty two different ways.

You know what I'm saying?

Yes, exactly.

All right.

You want to do yours?

Okay.

No, I'm not ready.

Wow.

I'll tip my hat to you, but I won't tip a waiter.

Wow.

I'm like the villain.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I won't tip waiters.

Wow, Scott.

I will tip a waiter, but

I won't wait for for anyone.

No, you can't refer to the other one.

You have to do

stand alone.

Well,

you have your hat thing, and she's got her dirty fucking mouth.

I have nothing.

You have that DVD collection.

Wow, Scott.

I have a lot of DVDs, but DVDs don't stand for dozen video

dicks.

Let me try one.

Let me try one.

I'm workshopping myself.

Wow, Lauren.

I spend my days wiping asses, but I spend my nights taking names.

Kicking asses?

Someone's like, yeah, it's that makes sense.

I don't know.

Something.

Who's that?

You mean both Holly and me?

Yeah, you're wiping.

That's Mike's ass.

No, I wipe Holly's.

She's only got one.

Well, it was a Swiss bag guy.

By the time I'm on the show, I have like eight kids.

And I'm like, I'm like, oh, that's true.

That's true.

Covered in kids.

Do you have seven more coming?

I could be.

I'm like covered in kids.

And I'm like, and I'm just like, look, I know I look like a crazy mom during the day, but when I go out at at night, I dress like a slut and I fight like a whore.

I wouldn't want to do that.

I wouldn't want to fight with you guys.

Oh, come on.

I'd flip a table in your general direction.

I'm glad that Monty Python and reality TV could finally come together.

That's what's great.

I don't even know what I'm quoting.

I part in your general direction.

Okay.

Oh, and I shouldn't make these one pile, should I?

That's okay.

You can if you want.

It's fun to make one pile.

Yeah, it's fun to make piles.

How many times do you wipe Holly's out?

I'm interested.

How many times a day?

Well, you know, as they get older, you don't have to change their diaper as frequently.

So you're in a stage right now where you're doing it every couple hours at least, probably, right?

Four.

Yeah.

And once again, I want to say, I'm sorry, I sniffed into the microphone and we will cut that up.

Okay.

I probably change like

four diapers a day.

Four.

Are all of them Holly's?

I don't have to speak on the other diapers I'm I'm changing.

So that's every

six hours.

You know, but it doesn't make sense because it's not during the night.

So like,

let's see, I do one in the morning, then I do one before nap time, then I do one after nap time, then I do one before,

you know, change it before the bath, then I do, and maybe there's one in the middle, and then I do

one before bed or put it on, but then I don't contact because I'm just putting on.

So we'll say four or five.

Four or five.

Okay.

You have a, you have a 10-month head start on me, so I need to know, like, what do I need to know in this next 10 months?

Oh, good.

Yeah.

I have a 14, well, I have a 14-month head start.

Oh, that's true.

Okay.

So what do I need to know in this

next

14 months?

You don't need to know any of it now.

You just need to know what's happening right now.

Really, I honestly think that's true.

Like, you just, I feel like for me, it was more, it's so overwhelming to like think too far ahead.

It's like, okay, what's the next thing she's going to do?

Like, she'll, you know, in a couple months, she'll start rolling over and stuff.

And then you have to change up how she sleeps because that'll change that.

So, like, don't worry about that yet because you don't have to do it yet.

You know, it's just too many things.

Like, who gives a shit at this point?

Well, it's just like you are.

At this point, I feel like I'm doing really well because it's like.

Right.

And you'll continue to because you'll just change slowly each new thing that happens.

And you don't have to get overwhelmed by all of the things that are going to happen.

Now, we sent you a picture of my daughter the other day.

You correctly identified she was wearing

Holly's old pants.

Yes.

I realized I never have to buy clothes ever again because you'll just constantly give me

these old clothes.

And I will give you a lot.

I was actually going to.

But then it made me kind of feel like I should buy some clothes for Holly now.

That'd be great.

So that I can get them eventually.

Yeah, that'd be really nice.

This is a great scheme.

I was like, I wonder how people feel about this.

And I think it depends on how much storage you have in your house.

But like, I was holding on to so much stuff.

And then I started to feel really overwhelmed.

And I was like, wait, because even even if I have another child, I can't keep everything she outgrew because then she continues to outgrow for years.

It's like, it goes on forever.

So I started just getting rid of things, which felt really good.

But at the time, when I'm packing them away, I was like, oh, these are so sentimental.

And then when I opened it, I was like, oh, I don't really care about this.

But it was nice for you to go, Holly's pants.

Oh, no.

The pants I gave Cool Up, all the things I gave Cool Up were things that I thought were really cute and special.

And then I donated a lot of things that were kind of just like.

I wanted to see a picture of Holly in them as well.

I know.

I was looking.

I have to find it.

I think.

I'd like to try them up.

They have a little butterfly on the sisterhood of the traveling butterfly butt pants.

What if they?

And those were also a hand-me-down from, I believe, Jonathan Silverman's child.

Oh, so they've seen

many

of these babies.

Yeah.

The pants, the single guy residuals.

Isn't that nice?

Yes.

Well, that's great.

He gave me like a really nice bag of hand-me-downs.

That's nice.

We were working together on Good Girls.

Yeah.

And I think he's so great.

And some of that stuff ended up in Emeralds.

I mean, already Emeralds grown out of her first stuff, so we are passing it on.

Yeah, isn't that crazy?

We got

why did anyone make any new clothes?

Well, and that's also the hard thing with buying expensive baby stuff.

Why aren't we all just trading clothes?

Yeah, it grows so fast.

But then when I get a hand-me-down of something that's like a nice brand, that cause also like Cool Up and I have a mutual friend who has hammered downs coming our way multiple times, where the stuff is good.

And I'm like, This is a friend of yours who continues to grow.

Yeah.

The baby has nice brands, and we both

feel very excited to receive the

recipient.

I know the person.

Well, I need to intercept some of these because I'm like, some I need them first and then Emerald.

Is it part of the friend group that says your hair looks fucked up?

No, but she probably would tell you.

Yeah.

We got the Ackerman Family Christmas card.

Oh, good.

Oh, it's so cute.

I just made mine the other day.

Looking forward to it.

I pray I'm on the list.

You are.

You'll get one.

We find, yeah, we've, I don't think we've made one in a few years because the COVID year is like, what do we do?

Who wants to do that?

Who wants to sit?

Like, we're going to sit around with...

Who wants to have their fucking picture taken?

Unshowered, sitting around in sweats.

Well, I didn't take photos.

I just put, compiled some that I liked.

The one of Emerald Yawning was so cute.

That was the only photo that was good because we got...

her in it.

We got our two, no, three dogs and Kulop's sister.

And there was literally one picture where everyone is looking at the camera.

There's at least one dog or a,

you know, who took the photo?

A friend of ours.

Okay.

You didn't have to worry about any labor wits.

Just an old friend.

Who's the one, the lady who takes the pictures of the babies in

Angetty?

Yes.

Angetti's thing.

I almost said her.

Also, the deep dive art.

I don't know her work enough to

see her name.

Paul, have you ever sent a Christmas card like that?

Like with a photo?

No, I haven't.

And Janie and I think about it every year.

And then you never do it.

I would do the one.

You have time right now.

This is a having sales.

Here's what.

Look, do this.

I'm not in a place where I want to be photographed right now.

I'll tell you that's.

Do you have a nice picture of you guys from this year?

Because that's really absolutely not.

Here's what you do.

Yeah.

You get some duct tape, you put it over Janie's mouth, and then you hold up a sign that says, peace on earth.

Oh my God.

This is a classic.

This is a classic.

But honestly, that would be funny.

Everyone is there.

No, it is.

It is like a classic.

Yeah.

No, no, no.

There are people from whom that when I say classic, I mean like basic people.

There are a lot of people who do that every year.

And like, I saw someone posting about it the other day of like, well, it's that time of year again where this, this type of person.

But you know what?

That's so

if you're not funny and you're making that, it's actually

so misogynistic.

I can't take it.

Oh, absolutely horrible.

But if you did it, it's funny.

Kind.

I don't think so.

You don't want that picture out there.

No, no, no.

It's not funny enough for me.

No, no, I agree.

I don't think it's actually good, but I do think the irony makes

layers that I can then y'all

understand.

But I think what we, what we need to do is we need to do a picture around Christmas time for the next Christmas.

Yeah.

So we do a picture now.

You're going to automatically look worse next year than you feel right now.

That's absolutely true.

So take it now.

Take it now, even though you don't feel great about how you look, because next year you'll look even shittier.

That's so true, Scott.

And you'll go, look at this.

Don't you hate me?

I can look back and say, that's when I thought I look shitty.

I know.

I mean, actually.

That is every picture for me.

I think that's a horrible truth about life.

I do have some pictures where I'm like, I look good in the photo.

No, I

should.

Everything from six years ago, I'm like, great.

Man, why did I feel bad?

Scott, I think you're very handsome.

I think you look nice.

Thank you very much.

It's true.

We have to take a break.

I was going to chime in, but I was signing, and now it's a break.

Oh, too much.

Oh, well.

Oh, no, no.

It's too late.

It's too late.

We got to take a break.

All right.

We'll take a break.

We'll be back.

Well, hi, everybody.

It's Julia Louis Dreyfus from the Wiser Than Me podcast.

And I'm not going to talk about food waste this time.

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This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Hey, guys, come here for a second.

Huddle up.

Oh, sure, sure.

What's going on?

Okay, October 10th?

Yeah.

Coming in World Mental Health Day?

I was about to say that.

Well, this year year for World Mental Health Day, I just wanted to thank all of the therapists out there.

Well, I want to thank my therapist.

She's thebom.com.

I want to thank the two therapists that I've had over the years.

Okay, great.

Is it like half a thank you to each or a full thank you to both of them?

It's a thank you and a half.

My therapist.

So one gets a full thank you and one gets a half thank you.

My therapist celebrates my wins.

She asks me questions to challenge myself.

And she creates a safe space for me to explore who I am and what I want out of life.

And I can even cry with her, which is true.

Wow, you can't do that with either of us.

Nope.

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And we're back.

And it's startled.

I turned it.

I started too loud.

I've been going up and down.

It's not Freedom Rock.

Turn it down, man.

These pretzels are making me far safe.

It is time for the three chair.

If you'd like to send us a threechaure idea, please do.

Please write to us at threedomusa gmail.com.

Don't be insulted when we don't like them.

No.

And look, it can be anything that when they're kind of a game, that personally is more fun to me.

Sometimes they end up just being kind of fodder for doing little seasons.

Is Matt aware of the Gmail?

Okay, good, good, good.

I just realized.

I was like, is anyone even looking at that?

What if there's thousands?

I mean, how many do we get?

Like one.

Oh, okay.

Once again, I've been ignored.

Well, soon you'll see.

So

we're going to play a little game.

This is a game.

This is an old classic.

What do you say?

bit.

What's she up to?

Where's Dido?

She was not backing up Eminem at the Rock Hall of Fame.

I'll tell you that much.

It was Ed Sheeran singing that.

That's wild.

But I think I might enjoy that cover.

What about Fido Dido?

Where's he been?

I was going to bring up Fido Dido.

But you didn't know if it was the right time?

I thought maybe too soon.

I read the room and I decided no.

No, no, no, we're not doing that today.

We're going to play a classic Freedom Three Church called Celebrity Hunt.

Hunt.

This is where

we all yell hunt, and then we go in a circle and one person will name a celebrity.

Then we yell hunt.

Then the next person has to be right.

Has to name a celebrity that begins with the last letter of the name that was previously said.

Do you get it?

I do.

I got it.

And we all, and

what they say the name, and then we go, hunt.

And then the next person does it.

Yeah.

And if you take too long,

oh, you're fucking out.

You're out.

And then the other two have to keep going.

We do need to have some competition.

We need to.

It's healthy.

Yeah.

Otherwise, we are.

It's good for the show.

Yeah.

Okay.

If we are constantly jockeying for a position, I think it's good for the show.

I think so, too.

When do you feel like you're winning freedom, by the way?

Because that is like a 90% of the time.

Oh, see, I always think I'm winning.

So that's interesting.

I always think I'm losing.

Aww.

At least somebody's right.

Here we go.

It's you winning 90% of the time.

This is how we play.

This is how we play.

This is lovely hunt.

And shall I start?

Yeah.

No one go me, Scott, Lauren.

In that order?

Yes.

All right.

Clockwise.

In three, two, one.

Hunt.

Chewy Tell Igeo 4.

Hans.

Rita Aura.

Hans.

Annie Leibowitz.

Hans.

Ziggy Marley!

Hans!

Yoda!

Hans!

Alan Arkin!

Hunch!

Uh

Nit Neder!

No, you're out!

Ned Flanders!

I was a Ned Niederlander, who was the guy in Ground Dog Day, right?

Yeah, it's me, Ned!

Isn't that Ned Ryerson?

The camera.

Ned Ryerson.

There is no Ned Niederlander.

Okay, keep going.

You guys got one.

I recorded you.

Okay, so wait, who?

Okay, so let's start over.

So

I'll stop doing this for a second.

Or do I join in?

I'm still going to do the Hans.

Okay, so you start.

Do I just do N?

I'll just do N.

Hans.

Ned Beatty.

Hans.

Yvonne Orgy.

Hans.

How do you spell that?

There's an IV.

Okay.

Hans.

India R.E.

Hans.

Elizabeth

Perkinson

Sam Shepard Hunt Diane Keaton Hunt Ned Ryerson

Hunt Natalie Portman Hunt

Ned Niederlanter

Okay, now I have to go as long as I can

play it again

Elizabeth Olson Hunt

Neil Patrick Harris Hunt

Stephanie Allen.

Hunt.

So the L-word.

Emily Blunt.

Hunt.

Tricia Yearwood.

Hunt.

Dot Marie Jones.

Blunt.

Susan.

Susan.

Santak.

Susan, Susan.

Susan.

I'm out.

Susan, Susan.

I've been snoozing.

All right.

All right.

Let's try it again.

All right.

Let's try it again.

Okay.

Should we go the other way?

Yeah.

Sure.

Okay.

Who starts?

Me.

Me.

Lauren starts.

Three, two, one.

Hunt.

Helen Hunt.

Hunt.

We're going the other way.

So.

Oh, no, that's Claude.

No, that's.

Oh, sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

It's me.

Tammy Wynette.

Huh.

Edward James Almost.

Hunt.

Hunt.

Is that with an S?

Yeah.

Sharon Stone.

Hunt.

Elizabeth

Olson.

Hunt.

You said that.

Does it matter?

Did you say that?

Yeah.

I thought you said purple.

Well, it's not the same round, so I think it's okay.

Okay.

Oh, it's okay?

Okay.

It's not the same.

I guess it's not the same.

No, no, no, no, no.

Hunt.

Naomi Judd.

Hunt.

Hunt.

Dimples Magoo.

Dimples Magoo.

All right, here we go.

Me and Scott.

Okay.

Hunt.

Hunt.

So goes me, and do I just do anyone?

Or do you?

I guess does anyone?

You can do O, yeah, if you want.

Okay.

Otto Preminger.

Hunt.

Robert Downey Jr.

Hunt.

Robert.

Why can I not think of anyone named Robert?

You could have said Robert Downey Sr.

Oh, of course.

I was.

Famous.

I was.

Your turn.

Just alone.

You.

Oh, shit.

Okay.

Well, give me the hunts.

I will.

What was the last one?

Robert Downey Jr.

Jones Jr.

Hunt.

Richard Roundtree.

Hunts.

Elizabeth DeBicky.

Hunt.

Iggy Azalea.

Hunt.

Albert.

Who Knobs?

Hunts.

Who Knobs?

Albert Knobs.

The movie weren't going to close played it.

Oh, my God.

A man.

I never saw it.

Oh, Hunt, Susan Sarandon,

Hunt.

To have never seen that and have that in your head is also even funny.

Nick Nulty,

Hunt,

Edward Herman,

Hunt, God and fucking Anakin.

Natalie Portman, Hunt.

Nicholas Cage.

Fucking.

N's and E's.

Oh, my God.

E equals MZ squared.

What about the guy who said who created that?

Einstein Albert.

Einstein.

Einstein Albert.

Einstein Albert.

All right.

Well, that's how you play Celebrity Hunt.

That's textbook.

And it's fun.

And the best part is getting to yell hunt as a proof.

I wish we could do that on our own without having to do that.

It's true.

We don't have to do the game.

How about we can just yell hunt?

It should be like we should be able to do it.

Oh, but it's yelling it together as well.

Let's do a round where the rule is a little different and we just have to say someone where the word hunt is in their name.

Okay.

Okay.

And Helen Hunt is excluded.

No, we can do her first.

Okay.

And go.

Hunt.

Helen Hunt.

Hunt.

Ethan Hunt.

Hunt.

Hunt.

Robert Hunty Jr.

Hunt.

Bonnie Hunt.

Hunt.

Hunter S.

Thompson.

Hunt.

Charles M.

Hunch.

Hunt.

Hunter

Parish.

Hunt.

Hunter Biden.

My son, Hunter, my favorite.

Barunt Obama.

Hunt.

Diane Hunton.

Hunt.

Chunt Fluffer.

Hunt.

Queen Elizabeth Hunt.

Hunt.

Lauren Hunting.

H-U Enterson.

H-U-E.

Unterson.

We're out of it.

We're done.

We're out of it.

Okay, listen.

Thanks, everybody.

We love you for listening.

You can follow us.

We love only for listening.

We don't love you for if you do crimes.

We don't love you for that.

It's conditional.

And if you want to follow us on socials, it's threedomusa.

You can write to us us at threedomusa gmail.com.

You can call us at a number, which is in our Instagram bio.

And if you want to come see my show January 14th at Dynasty Typewriter, go to dynastytypewriter.com and come see.

It's going to be fun.

Your show's done.

It's going to fine.

My show's done, but you can watch it online.

Go to Vimeo.

My Vimeo page has past variatopias on demand.

So much fun, and you will enjoy it.

And Paul and I have been doing the comedy bang bang best ofs together this whole week and next week.

So listen to those.

there you go it's a lot of fun and if you want to hear at free episodes of this you can go to stitcher premium or comedy bang bang world and then if you want to hear old episodes from out behind the paywall on tuesdays we're doing three visiting on the twos that's right three visiting on the twos so you'll have an old episode pop up in your feed that you can listen to without ads and uh or no with ads but uh from behind the paywall behind the paywall

and um that's it and uh you know we're we got one more episode until the end of 2022.

What day is this when this comes out?

This is the 22nd, I believe.

Oh, my God.

Christmas is coming up.

And the geese are getting fat.

Please put a penny in the old man's hat.

If you haven't got a penny.

A haypenny will do.

If you haven't got a haypenny.

Then God bless you.

God bless you, gentlemen.

God bless you.

If you haven't got a haypenny, then God bless you.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Bye.

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