The Lords of Chaos | Triforce #321

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Hello, everyone.

Welcome back to the Trifles podcast.

Hi, everybody.

We're back.

My best friends, Sips, Megan, and Ted, Edward.

Hey, Ted.

Oh, I'm good.

Hello.

Hey, Ted.

How are you?

Hey, Lewis.

I'm good.

How's everyone?

How are you?

Hey, Ted.

How's everyone feeling?

Hey, Ted.

Yeah, nice.

Met a lovely tiny penis haver yesterday.

Nice.

He was so polite.

He was so lovely and nice.

He was like, oh, you know, I've come all the way from New Zealand and I was hoping to see you.

I don't think he was coming to

Britain just to see us, of course.

But he was like so pleased to have opted into me outside the office.

I wonder whether I need to just have a dedicated time when I go out and hang outside.

Because Tom and Harry are smoking outside the office all the time, right?

So, anyone who wants to meet them pretty much can just

know where to find them.

Yeah, but I just don't want to leave people disappointed.

So, I was just thinking, you know, maybe I get a deck chair, I go out there and like, you know, read for a bit for an hour every week.

Yeah, that'll cover all of the visiting tiny penis havers.

Um,

I don't know if there's enough to warrant that much

planning and everything.

No, it happens.

It happens so once a year

that I could be.

It reminds me that

I still got it.

You still got it.

Yeah.

Damn.

You still got it.

You're tempted to provide a very elaborate solution for something that doesn't really need any, it doesn't need solving, you know?

It's true.

I suppose that let's just take that a step further.

You know,

I announced I'm hanging around outside the office for an hour every week.

Yeah.

And then no one comes ever.

Just be more general.

Just say you're in Bristol sometimes and, you know, and then people can look for you there, which I think they already do, kind of, you know, like

you're doing a recent tiny penis hammer.

Yeah.

You get a lot of emails about it, really.

Yeah, I get emails saying I'm coming to Bristol hoping to bump into one of the yachts.

And, you know, Bristol's one of the big, one of the major cities of the UK, I suppose.

You'd put, you'd put London, Manchester, Liverpool, Newcastle, Glasgow, Edinburgh.

And I'm going to put Bristol in there.

And Leeds, you know, places like that.

People come to the UK.

Does Bristol really get mentioned alongside those big cities?

It should do.

It's a big city.

Okay, it should do.

It's slightly different to does or does not, right?

Well,

I think there's a lot of maybe...

uh social conditioning that needs to happen before we get to the point where bristol's being mentioned well i think it's it's always in that second tier, right?

Oh, I forgot Birmingham.

Sorry, Birmingham.

You've got your Birminghams, your Manchesters.

Bristol is eighth by population.

Right.

So it goes London,

8.3 million.

Birmingham, 2.3.

Manchester, 1.7.

Liverpool, 800,000.

Leeds, 750, Sheffield, half a mil.

Teesside, which is Middlesbrough, et cetera, 480.

Bristol, 428,000.

And then Bournemouth.

Bournemouth?

Yeah.

Bournemouth and Paul.

But I think there's actually a million in the total Bristol metropolitan area.

And I'm sure that the same with

it's indeed for the metropolitan area, it's

for, I think there's a lot more generally, but that doesn't count.

They don't count.

That's larger than the urban zone, which is the bit sort of around the outside of it, if you like.

London is up to 12.2 from that.

I was just keep thinking about the

We're recording this after the Pope has died.

Pope's dies, which

we are going for on for a while yeah sorry to let you break it

don't tell me

there was this there was this i was laughing because um because the pope died you saw the jd vance visiting him he's let's dress all over again dude and it was like a make-a-wish kid you know the worst make-a-wish ever

uh i i

i don't know like i felt i watched conclave again uh with my partner just to just to get into it i said they're really keen to watch the two popes.

So I don't know.

It's just

a little bit of Pope Week here.

Yeah.

Shea Brindley.

You're going for Pope.

Yeah, I got my little hat.

We've got our little,

we got a child to abuse.

Jesus Christ.

I'm just trying to think, how much they celebrate the Catholic Church?

I guess you, I don't know.

What do Catholics do?

You guys should do a bacon fest.

craft fair.

Tom Cola.

Tomola.

Wear lots of denim.

Get

you, a long denim

ankle skirt, and you can.

Yeah.

What else?

I'll be playing

a few guys.

Oh, we're not going to talk about games, are we?

I know we're not supposed to talk about games on this gaming podcast.

It's not a gaming podcast.

Shout out to Blueprints because it's been

out to all this.

And honestly, really enjoyed it.

Have you had a go yet, Sips?

No, I haven't gotten around to playing the full version, but

I did really enjoy my time playing the demo.

The demo, yeah.

A couple of months ago.

I was looking forward to the full release.

There's lots to play, and then there's nothing to play at the same time.

Well, there's the Oblivion remaster, which everyone is desperate for you to play.

Yes.

They want to see the new Ufgird adventures of Sips in old school Oblivion, I think.

Have you played Oblivion before?

Yes, I played Oblivion.

A long time ago, yeah.

I don't remember much of it.

Well, exactly, I don't remember any of it.

But I saw a comment from someone at Blizzard today, which said,

it can't hold up in the days of modern gaming.

And I'm like, how out of touch are you with the world?

I just mean like all of their games already.

We're playing supermarket simulator as well.

Like, we don't need like

on Steam right now.

I'm looking at a game called Laundry Store Simulator.

Oh,

I am enticed.

So I was thinking.

What does this say about me?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Well, exactly.

We just want to have a regular,

be a regular Joe Schmo out there, regular chump running a grocery store.

Yeah, you know, earning a living the real way.

Cause we've never done it.

Yeah.

We've never had to earn a living, you know, by just working for it.

God, there's lots of these games now.

Green Grocer Simulator 2024 seems like a really good one.

Like the laundry one, Supermarket Simulator.

We've been playing, we played a bunch of Supermarket together, which is just basically Supermarket Simulator, but multiplayer, which is really fun.

Tobacco Shop Simulator.

Farm Sim with you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We just started a Planet Crafter yesterday.

None of them had played Planet Crafter, so I'm

yeah, they love it, which is great.

I was hoping that they would, and they do.

So it's quite self-contained as well.

Like Like, it feels like, you know, it's like a good, a good, like, 10-hour experience.

It's a really

numbers go up game, isn't it?

Yeah, nice path to finishing it.

Not too vague of a goal.

Like, with something like Minecraft, and some of our friends always throw up a Minecraft server every now and then and get into it for a couple of weeks.

Yeah.

And it's, it's fairly goalless.

Um,

you know, I feel like it's you have to decide what you're going to do.

And sometimes that is

innately unsatisfying because it all tails off as well.

When you don't set a point where you're ending,

people just slowly drop out.

And that's not why you were started in the first place, right?

You started to play with a specific group of friends.

But yeah,

people have been people have been loving games lately.

What are you playing, P-Flax?

He's playing

hardware store simulator.

No, wait.

He's been enjoying a game called...

Sorry, I'm just going,

I'm just browsing through cues.

I was hoping to find another simulator but it's just it's throwing me up all sorts now oh I thought you were loading up his steam profile football manager football manager in-game yeah I saw Flex playing football manager 1006 hours yeah okay

yeah I did yeah it's the year 2050 oh no 2049 sorry in my uh football manager save right and I've had a fascinating career uh that I've been for the last month I've been playing football manager on stream and watching Gordon Ramsey and watching whatever else.

Because when it processes, it's just a bit boring, isn't it?

So I stick something else on.

We watch YouTube videos.

Do you watch the whole game?

Like when you do a game?

Like, do you watch?

I don't watch the whole game.

It's highlights.

The whole game is too bloody much.

Like, I would still be.

God knows where I'd be if I was doing that.

But yeah, it's just the highlights and make adjustments as I need to.

Nice.

And we've won a lot.

I started off in Knotts County, got fired by them, went to SC Ashdod in the Israeli Premier League because I needed a job and I rescued them from relegation.

And then the next season, I won a cup with them and everything was going great.

And in the closed season, I said to the board, hey, can I have £5,000 to sign a player?

And they said, absolutely not.

And I said, well, I think it's going to be, you either give me that or I'm off.

And they said, well, fuck you.

Leave then.

I said, bye.

And I left.

And then they immediately signed that player for £5,000 with their new manager.

So I felt a little bit betrayed.

And then I traveled all over the place.

And then I finally settled at Spurs because I wanted wanted to get into the Premier League and bam, we've been winning it all.

Back to where you came?

Back to London.

Yeah.

Where you came from?

So yeah,

it's a fun game, Football Manager.

I had a lot of

fun playing it.

It's very satisfying when stuff works.

You know, you start winning like awards and stuff like that.

It's cool.

Yeah, for sure.

I mean,

when you're not winning things, very sad.

It makes me very sad.

Yeah, yeah.

It's one of those games that occasionally nothing works.

There's a lot of bullshit in Football Manager.

Sure.

Having to talk to your players.

So I was talking to this.

I was talking to chat about this.

I'm pretty sure that the lad that coded, or perhaps Miles Jacobson, the head of SI Games who make Football Manager, I think.

And I say this as someone with an autistic child, I think he may be autistic.

And I think he was the one who came up with and designed the player interactions.

I'll give you an example.

A player comes to you and says, I'm not playing enough games.

I want to play more games.

You can't say to them, can you just have some patience?

It's a long season.

You have to say to them things like, the best result you can get here is to say, oh, I better sell you then.

And then they'll say, oh, no, no, no, no, don't sell me.

I'll shut up.

But if you say, if you try to actually negotiate with them, they get all pissy.

And

the funniest thing is sometimes you can go to them and praise them on their training.

And you can say, you've been training really well.

And it offers you four options.

You can, no gesture whatsoever.

You can shake their hand.

You can put your hand on their shoulder, or you can put an arm around them.

And each of these decisions changes very subtly how they respond.

But sometimes

hand on shoulder and shake hand have like different

effects.

And sometimes you'll say to them, I think you've been training really well.

And they'll say, I disagree.

And you're like, okay.

And they say, well, this hasn't gone well at all.

And at the end of the conversation, a summary is, has lost respect for you.

Or is

they're like, I'm not pleased with the way you've done it.

What the fuck is this

mass effect level shit?

It's bonkers, dude.

Steven Gerard didn't like that.

You can like rent out your players to other teams, though, right?

Wouldn't they get pressed?

Yeah, you can loan.

Yeah, yeah.

So that's one of the options is you can loan them out.

But a lot of time, you know.

Wayne Rooney has asked you out on a date.

It's literally the player interactions are so badly coded.

It's so randomly sort of done.

And how they're going to be able to do it.

This obviously is a new feature that they've got you know and again you could understand that these things are like

so quickly made you know the poor team at sports interactive have these deadlines to like hit for the next one and they're all work to the grindstone you can tell they are um they're to release a game last year yeah we talked about them i think before they're fucked anyway so yeah i'll be playing that until so is that not so is there not another one coming out ever now or has it just been delayed apparently there is apparently there is they'll get there i mean they're owned by Sega, so they'll crack the whip, and it's only a matter of time, right?

It's on a new engine, though.

I mean, it's going to be a disaster.

I really think that it's going to be a disaster.

I'm very worried.

Because this is my favorite game series ever.

Way, like, there's been way better.

I've had way more fun with FM than I have with like multiple Civ games.

I've just been disappointed with it.

Well, this is it.

Yeah.

Like, I think it's one of those games that actually has this huge following for so long as well.

And definitely more grown-up gamers, too, right?

Oh, yeah.

i've been playing this game for 30 years in various incarnations

i think i i think the first time i played it was around my friend's house when i was

it's crazy are you still playing daughter flax just like after played last night they played last night

um people

new games kept coming out and the lads i play with uh you know joe and those boys are the lads i like to play with and and people like paul and and and uh and so on dav um oblivion came out this new oblivion remastered thing so they were all And half of them were like, just going to go play that.

And before that, it was some Monster Hunter thing.

And before that, it was something else.

And Zilas constantly disappears to go play Path of Exile.

So sometimes it's hard to get a stack.

People are taking a break or whatever.

And look, I play with viewers quite often.

I used to morning stacks.

I'd boob up, get lads in for the morning stacks, and we'd play some dots.

But, and I don't mean any hate to the lads here, because I don't mind if they're bad at dotes.

I'm God, prepare yourself, lads.

No, no, no, no.

I'm just saying.

It's about to throw you under that bus.

I'm not.

I'm just going to say that one of the issues with playing with just subscribers and viewers and stuff is that a lot of them are just quiet people because, you know, they're just, they're like me, they're nerds.

So I get on the stream, I've got a stack of five people and no one's talking and there's no sort of bance or it just becomes like solo dota because everyone's so quiet.

Or they talk too much and it's like, geez, this guy needs to shut up.

So sometimes people on stream get a bit sort of nervous or they're just like very, very, you know, they just out of habit, they just chat because I don't know them.

I can't say like, dude, can you shut up?

You know?

Whereas sometimes we'll play with Paul and Paul's just going blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And we're like, Paul, can you take a break, please, from the app in?

Like so.

I just think it's kind of...

It's tough to play.

I deal with this stuff sometimes and it makes me feel awful.

Like, for example, sometimes we record

some blood on the clock tower or whatever, like we were doing yesterday.

And I just needed everyone to shut up.

And I'm there, like, yelling, like,

shut the fuck up.

Like, silence, silence.

Like, stop talking.

Like,

always getting angry.

You have to be close right now.

Because, like, because otherwise they're going to spoil the game.

And it's like, I'm like, have you ever just tried to shush?

Have you ever tried shh, shh, shh, shh, stop?

Like, but the thing is, because they're all, they're all passionate, right?

And arguing they're like mid-flow and they're all into the game as well.

like and that's what we want right we want to create this game for them but i'm also doing this thing where like you know i want i want them to showboat as well up to a point but like for example you know if someone's because sometimes at the end of the game blonde clock you don't know whether you won or lost right yeah and so sometimes it's better for that reveal to come dramatically from me right right rather than sort of someone just being like just some someone upsetly saying well i've lost you know i mean i i'm doing a little spoiler right, for everyone.

So it's more gripping if I can do it.

And so sometimes I really have to, ah, stop.

And the thing is, I found myself becoming less and less

tolerant.

I guess I could be more chill and not care and let it just play out.

And

there's ways around it.

But I think like, but every time after the recording,

even for like, even today, like we recorded yesterday and even today, I woke up and I was like, oh my God, I feel so bad at yelling at everyone to shut up.

But there's kind of a meme around me going, telling people to shut up, right?

In these recordings.

And it's because I have to, I've spoken about this before, but I feel like I have to be there as

a director, right?

In TV and movies, you have a director who comes in and is the Gordon Ramsey and is shouting at people to stop doing something or to do something, you know,

just to

actually make sure the whole thing comes together as a complete product and isn't just a haphazard random goofing around um and i think like i that we don't have anyone else that does that it's just me and the seven guys that we're playing with you know and nick and nick's are such a nick's not direct not there to direct it he's there to run the server and make people visible and do all that crap um so i i'm i'm there sort of

having to make these um i don't know it's sometimes hard to like get that right in your head you know it's the same thing on this podcast sometimes you know like um

oh such as one of us will be like maybe we should make that joke or maybe we should cut that bit very little that happens but um it's hard to like have fun and chill at the same time as make make something like a series call yeah um and it always i just i just feel i just feel like there is a difference between just hanging out and playing games with your mates and trying to make content yeah like streaming or videos or anything it is fundamentally different and And I think some people think that when we're streaming or we're recording stuff, that it's just everybody is just goofing around and it just happens to be a good vid, but it's not.

You need direction and you need the right people and good combinations of people for it to be fun to watch and entertaining.

And I mean, I stream for when I'm, when I'm in the zone, I'll stream for like hours and hours and hours a day and just.

chill out but it's good to have fun people and you know people that are sort of good to to to to play with they're fun to play with they're chatty i've played with them for years i know them etc um and playing with strangers is tough just like if we did a blood on the clock tower recording where none of us had ever met before that would be really hard to do it would be really awkward yeah and so i just feel like maybe people don't understand that side of it i think when people have perlot time as well it's it's people's job it's people's time that people are coming along to do these recordings and they they you know we want to get videos out of it we've got eight people together or whatever it's it is a faff And I think it's not that it's not close to playing games with your friends.

It is.

It's and streaming even closer.

I think streaming is, you know, you're doing it for a long time.

You can't be hyper excitable and full of energy.

And it's not like we're faking it either.

It's more that when you're playing stuff on your own, I will sometimes sit there in silence for half an hour with four friends.

You know, none of us will say anything for 15 minutes, you know?

And I think when you're streaming or something,

you're doing a little bit more.

It's not like you're doing like the same, it's you're just you're a little bit more than you would be if you weren't streaming, right?

Yeah, I think you're the same, Sips.

Like you will have a, I'm sure I've seen moments in your streams where you don't say anything for five minutes, but I think that's usually other, it's usually something interesting is going on, and you know in the back of your mind that you're doing it on purpose or something, right?

Maybe sometimes sometimes I just forget that I'm streaming and just not say anything and just be playing.

I get pretty immersed.

But I like it though.

I mean,

I just want, I just, I also really like playing games.

You stream in your garage usually, and that's kind of a work area.

You know, you're almost like a slightly exaggerated person when you're in that area.

We talk about this all the time.

We can't help it.

Sorry.

No.

It just goes to the front of my mind.

And I know it's like...

It's a big part of our lives.

It's funny

what my anxieties are.

Because, you know, I'll I'll say to someone afterwards, like, oh, you know,

sorry about this.

And they'll be like, oh, well, you should be sorry about this.

I'll be like, oh, fuck, yeah, that's actually a good point.

Yeah.

When I was like, you know, something, something else like that I'd done that I'd forgotten about that I just you know charged through and didn't care about I'm worried about the thing that I remember and I'm paranoid that people are

hating me for it you know

something entirely different i just hate you um yeah it's just it's a weird one i think it's like you can look into it too much too, you know?

I think ultimately, like, if you were just sitting around playing a game with your friends,

like we were talking about,

you wouldn't be as aware of all those things.

You know what I mean?

You would just be like,

you would just act the way you always act and the people you play with would just act the way that they always act.

And then, you know,

you're pretty much getting the same sort of experience, right?

And then people have bad days and whatnot.

Like that, that, of course, happens too, but I don't know.

I don't think you need to be over,

I don't think you need to like analyze it to death.

I don't think you really need to apologize too much for just being yourself, unless you're being racist or something, you know?

I do think this happens to some extent in my real life too, right?

Where you're racist, I play like board games with Russ or whatever.

Just can't stop being racist.

I get it.

And he's wait, wait, Russ.

Not racist, Russ.

No,

a lovely Russ.

Sorry, Russ.

I'm just fucking with you, but don't know.

He's awesome.

And I think sometimes he must think I'm some sort of dual personality, right?

Because when it's just like me and him, I'm like super chill, super relaxed, like kind of a bit grumpy almost.

And I, I'll, you know, he's like quite a close friend of mine.

So I'll tell him stuff that I'll just complain to him right as well.

As soon as the lights on the camera

around, all of a sudden,

Mr.

Razzle Dazzle appears.

Exactly.

Like, you know, as soon as there's someone new that we haven't met before, I'm all like making jokes.

I'm all

interested.

It's sick of like some sort of word.

Mr.

Razzle Dazzle.

I think we all do this to some extent, right?

It's not just me being crazy thinking.

No, I mean, have a split personality.

Here's what I think it is: is that the job, and this is obviously our job, this is our, not our job, but our living, certainly,

is, I mean, you know, people are aware, I I think, of the whole parasocial thing that comes from streaming and content creation.

Because if you go to a movie, someone's playing a character, or if you watch a TV show, someone's playing a character, and you can be a fan of those things.

But there's the disconnect is you're just seeing those people on a screen and it's all rehearsed and blah, blah, blah.

But when you watch like streamers and YouTubers like us,

we're sort of at work.

Even though it seems like we're just having a laugh.

we are we are all understand we're creating something that has to be a certain way and we know what works we know what doesn't and it's kind of a different mindset to,

I think, when it comes to consuming that content, people sometimes get, their brain gets tricked into thinking that we're mates with them.

Do you know what I mean?

The whole parasocial thing is they expect us to be that person all the time.

And they sort of, it's just weird.

It's a much more intimate relationship with your audience than I think.

pretty much anything else you could do.

Standard comedians are up on a stage, the audience is down in the dark.

TV, movies, you never see them.

Theater, again, you're up on a stage.

They're down in the dark.

But when you are a streamer or something, you're actually interacting with your viewers.

Like they're talking to you in real time and you have to cope with that.

So I just feel like when it, when it comes to the job that we do, I don't think sometimes the audience thinks it's like, for instance, like me just saying that playing games with my viewers is kind of difficult sometimes.

They might think of that as an insult.

And I hope they don't take it that way.

What I'm saying is that it just makes the stream shitter if the people that I'm playing with are just quiet or have a terrible microphone.

I think it's a weird balance, isn't it?

I think when you play with people regularly, like

we do a podcast regularly, or if you play games with people regularly, you get into this nice

kind of groove with it where I feel like the more you know somebody and the more you do stuff with somebody, you give them space to do their thing.

And likewise, they give you space to do your thing.

like you know certain people will want to do like you know one certain mechanic of a game or whatever but everybody knows that that's their thing and they just let leave them to it sort of thing you know and it's like

it's nice to get to that point and and i think it takes a while to get to that point you know i think um yeah i mean that's like i've i've always had like groups of people that i think okay this lad's actually good to to play games with on stream yeah because he's he's a laugh he's got a sense of humor he doesn't just talk constantly uh he's not just someone who never speaks, has a working microphone, which is quite a big thing.

Because some people come on, they're like,

sorry, what was that?

Yeah.

Or there's like,

just a hiss in the background.

Or you know that this guy's computer crashes every game at least once.

It's, I mean, I get it.

It's frustrating for me, but it's also frustrating for someone watching it.

They're going to be like.

this is this sucks that i find this person annoying um so it it is tough to to play dota if you haven't got that sort of hand-picked stack.

And I'm sure it's true for any game.

Like when I played Tarkov, uh, sometimes when we'd play in a stack with like uh viewers and we'd get in the discord and everything, but some of them would be like, Yeah, I'll be there in a sec.

I've just got to sort this out.

And you're waiting for like 20 minutes to start queuing for a raid because they've got to buy this armor.

They've got to buy this ammo.

And you're like, dude, can you not just grab anything?

Like, you know what I mean?

They're just you can play the PVE one is like instant queues, though.

Dude, that's what I've been playing.

I've played that for like two months.

This is how I got you two involved in the first place, really, because I saw met you or knew you or spoke to you in some way.

And I was like, these are interesting, funny people that I like hanging out with and I want to be friends with.

Well, thank you.

Well, thanks for being my friends.

When are we going to be friends, do you think?

Yeah.

When are we going to?

We're still waiting.

I'm not having a crisis or anything.

Oh, no, I am.

Right?

You're going to start to worry.

I'm not having a crisis.

At least I don't think I am.

We're all, there's this famous quotation, which is very bogus,

from someone, I can't remember, who said, you are

a combination of the five people you spend the most time with.

Right.

It's this, it's a popular saying, sort of

implying that when you think about it, obviously,

maybe it was true once.

I think these days you are in, and we know that we are influenced by all sorts of people.

I'm influenced by some of the people I'm

I admire

from real life or from the internet.

You know, I'm sure I'm a blend of the YouTubers I watch the most, and some of these people I'm a big fan of, and some people I admire, and also the people who I and because we can't help it, right?

We want to blend in.

That's how accents got started.

That's why people unconsciously mimic the way other people laugh and talk and act.

And you can't control it.

It's part of your animal brain to fit in right and want to be part of something and and the the easiest way to show that you like someone is to mimic what they're doing in a sense uh it's a classic classic thing and and we are all chameleons effectively able to try and you know when when you go to a job interview you're going to be polite when you're going to you know something else you're going to behave a certain way it's it's it can't help it right and that doesn't mean you're being fake or you're you're having some sort of um you're you're lying about who you are.

You know, you maybe think, well, I'm secretly a grumpy, miserable bitch,

but I can pretend to be a happy person.

I think there's in some ways, you know, you, the mask you wear, if you wear that, you know, a lot, you become that person.

I think looking back at old YouTube videos, me, like with a strong Essex accent, I don't know when I lost it.

I didn't try it.

There was never a moment where I thought, I need to train out this accent or, um, um, or, or, you know, or it just happened, right?

I obviously subconsciously spent time around people who didn't speak that way.

Yeah, it was true.

I'm not even Canadian, so I

just comes out.

Where'd you pick it up from?

Was it Jean-Guy Tupperware?

You pick it up from the forest.

Yeah, Jean-Guy Tupperware.

Well, actually, my biggest influence recently has been the far right.

I'm like right in the pipeline and with the Canadians, Albertans

specifically.

And that's where I picked up a lot of myself.

I think

you do say a few words differently.

And I think Canadians would probably notice that your way of speaking has changed sips, but certainly

certain words.

I've noticed a few as well.

And I think you can't help it when your whole family speaks with an accent that's just a bit of a change.

Because I don't say tabernacle ever anymore.

And I used to say it like all the flipping time.

You used to say Tim Hortons.

Yeah, I used to say Tim Hortons a lot.

I'm a coffee shop.

Yeah.

I used to say Putin.

Your accent is pretty damn Canadian, I'll be honest with you.

It's impressive.

Yeah.

Because I know a lot of people who've lost their accent completely.

I mean, I've lived here for like 22 years.

It's been a long time.

But yeah, I don't think I've lost it much.

It's probably more like words and terms and stuff that have changed.

Right.

I think it softens around other people, though.

I think when I've met you in real life and you've been at the shops or whatever, interacting with Jersey folks, you've been more

automatically, I don't think you've even noticed, like more Jersey, you know, English.

You gotta be

blended, though.

You know, if you, if you're too like, you know, I've just stepped out of the woods, then people just treat you differently.

You gotta fit in a little, you know.

That's true.

You have to, you are a native now.

You've gone.

You've gone native.

So you have to.

I'm fully native.

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On with the show.

On with the show.

On with the show.

Can I ask you a question, Chris?

Yeah.

Did you make up Jean-Guy Tupperware as a name?

Or is it like a Canadian thing?

It's like a pretty Canadian thing, as far as I know.

Or maybe it's...

When I googled Jongy Tupperware, you can't find it anywhere.

Maybe it was just like a local thing.

I don't know.

I remember, like, we used to use it a lot.

We used to say it all the time.

Like,

anytime anything came up, like, you know, if you were like mad about somebody and they happen to be French-Canadian, it'd be like, yeah, and then fucking jungie Tupperware comes out of nowhere.

You know what I mean?

Like, it was just kind of used like that.

But it was used often enough.

I mean, if you Google it, it only comes up in relation to the trifles.

Like me saying it on the blogger.

So I guess

for some reason, it hasn't made it onto the wider web.

I mean, maybe it's just like

maybe it was just a local thing, you know?

Maybe it was just.

I just fucking love it.

Another thing that we used to say a lot, which I've never heard anyone say before, is

back in the 90s,

we used to say the same way you would use like the hard R to

you know, to

describe somebody or to show some animosity towards somebody or whatever, we used to call people rehabs all the time as well.

Like, be like, you're a fucking rehab.

But like, it makes no sense.

It's like, it's the dumbest thing.

But we, I, I know like tons of people that used to say that.

I like it.

It just sounds like an insult.

It just sounds like something I don't call Jared Le Ty.

I don't know.

It just said, it just sounded funny.

And I think that's why people picked it up and started using it.

But it makes no sense.

But I remember lots of people saying it, you know, like in just conversation.

You'd meet somebody outside of your friend's group, like at the bus stop or something, and you'd be like, oh, yeah, fucking rehab.

You know, like it was just a, it was, it's just a weird thing.

But I remember it just a darling joke for your group.

Well, that's how language gets started, right?

It's, it's a, it's deliberately exclusionary to people not in your group, you know?

So it gives you your own identity to have your own shit.

And everyone has that, right?

Everyone has their own little stupid in jokes.

Yeah.

Well, we used to

work with a guy overnight and nobody liked him.

He was an older guy.

And anytime he spoke to him,

he would just constantly talk about how he was trying to

get tax exemptions for stuff that he bought throughout the year.

We used to work nights with him.

But he was a French Canadian.

He was a French Canadian man and his name was Djangi as well.

So you can imagine the Zhangi Tupperwares were like soaring at that port at that point.

Anytime he wasn't around, it'd be like, oh, fuck, he's just fucking going on.

Fucking Tupperware again, going on about the tax exemptions and everything.

Like it was, it was, it was.

He's probably,

he's probably, I bet you he was like...

He was like ground floor Bitcoin and stuff like that.

Do you know what I mean?

He's probably living in a fucking beach, man.

He was pretty old at the time.

And I was like, you know,

17, 18 years old.

Yeah, he's got, he's he's long gone uh he's got to be i think a lot of those guys that i used to work with well i know my manager um from back then passed away years ago and i'd imagine most of the other ones did too it's it's it's pretty rough uh working overnight especially for like a long period of time which those guys did i mean i was just there for like you know a couple of months and i hate

but those guys were like lifers they that's what they they they were there years years years you know working 10 30 at night till seven in the morning for that's that's what kills them.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I think it finishes people.

Yeah.

It's hard.

I was saying the other day, someone was, someone my age was visiting their grandparents and going out for the day with them.

And I was like,

my granddad, my dad's dad, died when, in 1953.

Jesus Christ.

It's like a long time ago.

And I'm sure a lot of people have.

had had opportunities to have their grandparents,

you know, pass away.

Both my mum's mum's parents died several multiple like i think in the 60s so i never got the chance yeah i never got the chance to meet them so you had no no grandparents your whole life well no because my my dad also had parents oh sorry i thought you said both of your parents no no no sorry my my my mum's um so yeah both her parents died in the 60s um of cancer uh i think breast cancer and smoking so lung cancer was was what did them in then my my grandmother on my dad's side,

I loved her.

Like, she, I was very close with her.

Um, and we lived with them, with her and

her son,

my uncle, um, when we moved back to the UK, um, when my parents got, got divorced.

So, I, I was very, very close with her.

But my grandfather, my Canadian grandfather, uh, who lived in Ottawa, um, he was just a very intimidating guy.

Um, what was his name?

Don.

Tupperware?

He was from Ottawa as well.

His name was Don Tupperware.

No, but it's not his name.

It's a strong name.

But he was like,

he was an Air Force pilot in the Canadian Air Force, you know, and he was like,

he was quite a conservative fellow, like one of those sort of old school conservative dudes.

And just a big guy, deep, booming voice, sort of big presence.

And I was incredibly intimidated by him.

Man,

conservatism has changed a lot, hasn't it?

It has.

When you look back to like, because I know my, my grandparents were too.

They were like, what I would consider very conservative people.

You know, they would, they would go to church on a Sunday, but they weren't crazy with it.

You know what I mean?

Like, they would do certain things and they had these certain levels of decorum that they would adhere to or whatever.

But they were like, they, they were kind of like proper people, you know, like they were, they, they were clean.

They, they didn't do anything like,

well, as far as i i'm i know illegal you know they just seemed like like pretty normal middle class people yeah that that like i i would define that as like really conservative people but it's changed

when i changed i think back to the past conservatism like the the conservative people that i knew just were basically like you said they were probably church going they were they'd lived in the same area for a very long time um and they just sort of wanted everything to stay the same like that's the whole point: they wanted the same traditions.

They liked the queen and they supported, you know, whatever the armed forces would do.

And they were like, those are our boys.

You know, it's all this kind of traditional things.

Very patriotic.

Watch things like Last Night at the Proms or whatever.

You know, just the kind of staples of tradition that I associate with conservatism.

Whereas now it just seems to be hate, which is kind of like

that.

It's like really hate.

Most of that is just fear, I think.

Mostly ill-informed hate as well.

Yeah, a lot of hate.

Yeah, just tons of hate.

Very strange.

So

you obviously both have kids, right?

Who would you carry on your line?

Well, I don't have a line.

Yeah.

But I was

minor that I carry on my line for sure.

No, no line.

I highly recommend the Agatha Christie short stories, right?

And it's obviously a staple, a kind of a meme that people only ever talk about a will in a murder mystery.

That's the only time you really ever hear about these things.

But you know why that is, right?

Well, it's because that's a good motive.

No, no, it's not just that.

It's because a lot of people can relate to having older relatives that they wish were dead.

Right.

So that they can just get their will and never have to fucking see them again.

That is the truth of it.

A lot of people have some wealthy older relative who's just an absolute cunt to everybody.

And you think, when that fucking guy pops his clogs, at least we'll get maybe something nice in the will.

That's what I reckon it is.

A lot of people

pops his clogs.

He's going to pop his little clogs.

That little hero's clogs are just going to, he's going to pop them.

Pop the clogs.

It does imply that when you die, you fall over and your clogs just

pop off your feet.

Like when you shit yourself when you die, your clogs pop off.

Yeah.

You shit in the clogs.

Who?

Okay, so

you have brothers and sisters, right?

Maybe your siblings.

Okay.

Me.

Yes.

I have three sisters and a brother.

I have a sibling.

And they have children usually.

I have two half-sisters that I haven't spoken to in a very long time.

I have

a half-brother who I speak to occasionally, and he has one child.

My sister doesn't have any kids.

She has cats instead.

So they're anyway.

So kids of your siblings, or I guess your half-siblings are still your nieces and nephews, right?

Oh, yeah.

They don't count as like half-niece or half-nephew.

Right, right.

They're still just blood relatives, right?

Yeah, effectively.

Yeah.

I mean, essentially, I think that the whole half-brother, half-sister thing, I don't like that.

Like, I call them my brothers and sisters, and I wish I saw them more and have more contact because I don't have any fucking family.

Like, it's just zero, basically.

So, I've always wanted to have a big family, but it's just hard because

various family, personal family things.

But I would like to.

Luce, i feel like you're you're you're heading towards uh bailiffs here with uh you know you they you know like uh there's there's there's tv shows about it right where it's like we couldn't find a next of kin or any relations or whatever and we had to really dig through the crates to find this long-lost you know half-uncle or whatever well they base your fortune they have to it's quite simple you go up the chart and then go back down right so you go up to your grandparents and then you go to their brothers and sisters, right?

And so it's like your grandparents, so your, your, your grand uncles or your grandaunts, you look at those, the children of those who are of your parents' generation, right?

And they're, do you know what they are?

They're your first cousin once removed.

I think.

What is the removed thing?

So the removed thing is.

What does that mean?

Once removed?

Because I've always heard that.

And I'm like, I don't know what it means.

I genuinely don't know what it means to be.

Is that like your, you're like, would that be like your mom's cousin?

So that's like your cousin, but not this is not really your cousin.

There is a chart.

Here's a chart for you.

So basically, you can have a look.

So

your generation is what's important.

So of your age.

They're not actually necessarily your age because, you know, people might have got married young or got married very old and had a kid old or young.

And as a result, things get skewed.

Like sometimes people will say, oh, this is my uncle and they're the same age of them, right?

But they're actually from a different generation.

So it's to do with generations.

And your generation is your first cousins are from your grandparents.

Your second cousins are from your great-grandparents.

Your third cousins are from your great-great-grandparents.

You see what I mean?

But then anyone who is up or down in that line isn't necessarily your uncle.

You've lost me.

They are very

so gone.

You lost me very early on.

Yeah, me too.

I lost you immediately.

I'd say four or five words into the opening sentence, I was flummoxed.

Well, it's better to just look at a chart.

Look at a cousin chart.

You'll find it on the internet.

But basically, you're

removed.

So, okay, the easiest way to see it is you've got your uncle, right, or your aunt.

They've got children who are your cousins.

Right.

Their children are your first cousins once removed.

Why don't we just make them second cousins?

Well, the second cousins are from

the children of your great uncle.

What's a great uncle?

So my

grandparents' brother's grandparents, brothers, and sisters.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So those are sisters.

Yeah.

So your mom's uncle is your great uncle, for example.

Yes.

Yes.

He died last year, actually.

Sadly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, like our great uncles now will be mostly gone.

Your, I would say.

But your great uncle's children are not your second cousins because they're still, effectively they're a generation above you.

So they are first cousin once removed.

I see.

And then I think it's how many, basically it's how many steps they are to being a cousin.

I think.

Oh, gosh, it's confusing.

Anyway, you can have people.

Do you guys want to be cousins?

We could just say we're cousins.

How about that?

I think we need to sign something.

Brothers?

Sisters.

We want to be cross-called.

You can, unofficially, you can be whatever you want.

Like, we could just call you know each other whatever.

Can we, how about we three form a group called the Lords of Chaos?

We just do that.

We're three, three,

three chaotic brothers.

Three registry

chaotic brothers with wild and crazy guys.

There's another

bang up-to-date reference for the Triforce podcast.

How do we do this?

Make this official?

Do we go for registry office, change our names?

Hello, we'd like to form the Lords of Chaos, please.

Maybe

we should have called the.

We shouldn't have called it the Triforce Pod.

Maybe it's a rebrand.

It's been going on for so long.

It's time.

Let's rebrand to uh three wild and crazy guys

that would be so good no

three wild and crazy guys

we could like have a cool intro and which we say crazy like a soulmate felty binkity bompity yeah yeah yeah binkity bumpity slow down mate we don't want to go too like some bass lines you're talking about bass lines here i think you want bass

oh i want one of them you know like the sides i do this like uh i don't know if you guys do anything like this but um i i I do like

my kids.

They're getting bigger now, so they roll their eyes, but they used to love it.

But I used to do like air bass, you know, like

in the kitchen.

But I would do, it was like a mix of air bass, but then like

Elaine's dancing from Seinfeld, you know, lots of like leg kicks and stuff like that.

Oh, man.

So now every time like my kids do anything music related, like at school or whatever, the joke is my wife always makes a joke.

She's like, ask them if they're looking for a bass player if your dad needs someone.

Oh, man.

Crazy, you know what?

Those family jokes, those sort of in-jokes you have as a family are the best ones, man.

They are the best ones.

I know.

They're so funny.

Because it's just for you guys, right?

It's like this joke is just for us.

Yeah.

And we don't.

Or like the radio will be on, and there'll be like something with like some bass and like everybody will be like, oh, no.

turn the radio off quick i'll be like in another room i'll come rushing in

oh

that's good

that shit's yeah oh i love that is the best that's the

best

so fun yeah i mean honestly the the person i'd say me and mrs f like we've been together for so long now the number of in jokes and shit is just insane yeah like genuinely insane the amount of things that references we've got that are fucking things that happened in the previous century we still joke about.

It's just so dumb.

But that's the, that's the real shit.

Like it's the same with my friends that I've known for like some of my friends I've known for longer than I than I've been with Mrs.

F.

And the jokes and references and the sort of callbacks are like, like you think about a comedian has a callback in their set and it's like half an hour.

We're talking 35 year callbacks here.

You know,

we have reference to the deep cuts of our friendship.

And I love that.

I think that that's the absolute best.

We've been doing this a long fucking time, nearly 10 years.

Well, we've got a lot of time.

Next year is our 10th year.

We haven't got lots of

references and in jokes and stuff to come back and whatnot.

It's good.

It's been good.

I like the long game with stuff like this.

It feels good.

Because like I was saying before, you just, everybody knows what's up, like precisely.

Everybody knows what

everybody else is doing doing or meant to be doing and stuff and it just it works you know it's it's like it's like uh it's like building uh like a factory and then it it working really well like over a long period of time it's nice you and your factory loves a factory that's familiar love a factory yeah it's cozy oh guess what um so it was my my eldest turned 16.

um wow already that's crazy i know which means uh that my eldest was seven when we started this podcast which is pretty wild wow um so yeah he's 16 and i i was like what do you want for your birthday a guitar i was like awesome so we went to 16 that's a great age for learning guitar honesty perfect yeah um because you've got the the finger strength and everything guitar is quite you know at least a lot of finger strength and dexterity and stuff um so i was like all right so there's a guitar shop in kingston which is not far from us it's one of the very few music shops that is like actually

a physical shop you walk into when there's instruments hanging on the wall and this place just just does guitars and we went in there and there was a lad there sorry hold on a sec

this has got 10 years of it does to you sorry um so we went in there and i said looking to buy first guitar for my 16 year old um what do you recommend and we were going in with the idea of getting an acoustic guitar um because we were like well that might be easier to learn on right it's less delicious to learn to play the guitar and he was like okay what kind of music do you like and we were both like, we like like rock and stuff like that.

And he was like, well, then get an electric guitar.

And I was like, hmm, is he trying to upsell me?

And he said, well, look, if you get an acoustic guitar, you'll only be able to play acoustic songs.

And if you don't like acoustic folky stuff, you're going to be stuck playing music that you don't even listen to just for the sake of learning to play the guitar.

He said, if you get an electric guitar, which sounds like you listen to music that has electric guitar in it, you'll be much more motivated to play.

And I was like, that sounds great.

The great idea.

Sold me electric guitar.

It was £110 for a brand new guitar.

It was a really beautiful guitar.

But then, of course, we needed to buy an amp.

And the amp was the expensive part because he sold me a PV, that's the brand, an American-made amp, this old-fashioned style.

It was like, I can't remember what's in it, but he said this thing will likely increase in value because these, they don't make these anymore.

I was like, perfect.

So, yeah, we've got the guitar, got the amp.

Then I was like, we're going to need a strap as well.

We're going to need a bag.

We're going to need a strap.

I need a core.

so but i was a distortion pedal right

didn't get any pedals um but yeah but i i mean it's i want to around with this electric guitar as well because it's just cool so i thought this was one of the favorite presents i've ever bought anyone uh that's cool it felt great and there was this old boy in there and he's he said uh he goes oh i was here to see you buy your first guitar And my eldest was kind of embarrassed.

He goes, I bought my first guitar 60 years ago.

So he's like old as fuck.

and he's seeing this 16-year-old buy their first guitar.

And I thought, that's the kind of circle of life that musicians love.

Can I make one suggestion?

I would say, get an acoustic as well, because you're not always going to want to plug in an electric guitar and play like you will, but there'll be times where just having an acoustic to play like, you know, an acoustic song or a slower song, but you're still practicing, right?

Like you can still apply it all back to the electric guitar and stuff like that.

I think it's worth having both.

I'm just saying.

And also, if your eldest forms a band and they need a bass player, air bass player, I'm available.

So

throwing that out there as well.

You could shred on that air bass.

Yep.

So

if they keep it up, great.

If they don't, you know, that's just what it's like.

You know, sometimes I'm like this with stuff.

But fortunately, £100

is not a great bar,

incredibly, you know, it's not like a, it's not like a huge investment, is it really?

It's obviously expensive, but really expensive, but it's sort of like breaking the bank, right?

Like, a friend of mine bought a new violin, not a new violin, no, a violin to take with them to LARP and stuff because they didn't mind, they didn't want to take their actually expensive one with them.

But they bought

this Friday and were kind of shocked that they could get one for like a hundred pounds.

Obviously, Chinese made, and

he can hear the difference, but I don't know if a lot of people can.

And honestly, a lot of our expensive brands are just made in China anyway.

And I mean, it is astonishing that you can get get musical instruments that cheap, really, you know,

given that like even they come with a big case.

The case probably would cost like 30 quids, you know?

Well, like used ones, like secondhand instruments and stuff are surprisingly affordable.

Like if they're not, you know, if they're not like

the like the amp, you know, the one that'll go up.

Well, I think they'd be made aboard for a long time.

Yeah.

You can get like knockoff fenders and stuff like that.

But

the old advice to like, you know, buy the cheapest thing, use it till it breaks.

And then if you find that you've used it that much that it has broken, then you buy the most expensive one.

I think it's a real good attitude to have on tools and things like this anyway.

So no, I hope they enjoy it and get a kick out of it.

P Flex, you might have to invest in some, at least it's not drums.

We're getting lessons.

Oh my God.

We're going to get lessons.

Drums?

Okay.

No, okay.

Guitar lessons.

Because

I have lessons as well.

I think

guitar lessons are worth it to get you started for sure.

Like, yeah, you're going to play.

No, I'm not.

I have

autic fingers, so I can't really.

You could do like harmonica.

You've got good lips.

Triangle.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Try kissable lips.

What about the triangle?

You could do the triangle.

Triangle.

Maracas.

On brand with the Triforce.

Me playing the triangle.

Maracas.

Maracas.

Or castanets.

You could do the piccolo.

What about the slide whistle?

We're going to work it into every song.

We've got a guitar solo here, drum solo there, bass solo.

Pokemon is gonna shred.

Oh, hi, yeah.

Yes, Ted.

When's the slide whistle gonna be in this song?

We'll put it at the end.

You just sing it's really dramatic.

Wow!

I love the idea that you're stood there throughout the whole band practice.

Not in my head, not in my head.

And then really dramatic.

theater.

You know, the singer's like on his knees.

Yeah!

You just walk on stage for your crowd.

Everyone's throwing glasses.

We love me, period.

Oh, man.

And oh, man.

Oh, man.

I had guitar lessons when I was younger.

I remember getting my first guitar and stuff.

It was fun times.

It just felt like it was one of those moments when you're a teenager where you get something, you feel like I can do so much now.

And of course, I didn't do much with it, but there was the, you know, it was that side of it was appealing.

You know, I thought, oh man, I'll be able to write songs or I'll be able to play all these great songs that

I like and stuff.

And I learned like a bunch of songs.

And it was, it was, I'm immensely jealous of people with physical skills, you know,

whether it's juggling or doing a handstand or being able to to play an instrument.

Like, I, I, yeah, I'm always, you know, I, I could see why when, like, you know, sometimes there will be a thing and someone will just play something on the piano or something.

And I'll just be like, oh my God, I'm so jealous.

And this person is, I'm just like, so admirable, my, you know, hearts in my eyes.

I'm just like, I love you now.

Um, I think it's just such a powerful thing in, in days of everything being digital, right?

Um, you know, and almost like a lot of cheats is like, well, why would you need to learn to play an instrument when you can just have an AI do it?

It's not the same, you know, it's going back to the real world.

But

I miss it.

I really wish I had done, I hated doing music at school.

You know, my parents forced me to play the piano and stuff.

Piano, I would like to learn.

Now that I'm older and I look back, I think, oh man, it'd be great to be able to play the piano well.

You know, I feel like it would just be wonderful to just be able to sit down and just play a great song on the piano.

And like, I just, a solo pianist to me just is great.

Yeah, I could sit around and listen to somebody playing the piano like forever.

And I wish I could do it as well, but I'm too lazy to learn the piano.

But

when I was at school, like

elementary school, primary school,

I learned the trumpet and the clarinet.

Can you believe it?

Oh, I could switch.

I could see you play the trumpet.

So good.

I was playing the trumpet so much.

You had to like rent your instrument and stuff oh it was great oh wow i hated it at the time but like i look back now and i'm like oh man do you remember actually pretty good this spit valve oh what a time yes what time

so bad oh my god the smell

oh me yeah so when i did music at school um there there was no instrument like we didn't we just learned theory so we'd be in there and we'd just be listening to music or learning about notes and stuff But I didn't play a single instrument at school.

Not one.

You didn't have the ta-ti-ti-ta-ta, like when they were like, you like the counting.

They're like,

and you go, ta, ti, ti, ta, ta, ti, ti, ti, ti.

And that's how they used to be.

You had like this timing stuff and everything.

No, it was weird.

Totally not.

I would have loved that.

But we used to.

We used to run around at recess outside going, ta-ti, ti-ta, like, screaming it at each other.

It was really good.

I don't know why we didn't have any instruments.

It was just, they they just, I think if you had one, you had, it always, there always seemed to be lads who were doing music much more seriously and they would have some extra music lesson thing, like at lunch times or after school or whatever, and they'd have instruments.

But the school didn't like, here, you're going to learn to play the trumpet for us.

I had nothing, which was shit.

We had

where when I went to school, they had like a local place that you rented the instrument from.

So you had to be, you had to know what you wanted to play early on because things would just disappear and then you'd be stuck with, like, you know, something you didn't want or whatever, right?

Uh, but everybody went to the same place, they all had the same cases, and then in the music room at school, you could leave your instrument there because you had like two or three music lessons a week, so instead of taking it home all the time, you could leave it there.

And that room, when you went into it to get your instrument, smelt like the spit valve of

a million instruments, like it really stuck in their bad.

Some of the rooms

were school.

I remember though, some of the rooms were just so smelly.

Yeah.

I mean, it was a boys' school, but they just, you went in there and you thought, has anyone even been in here this decade?

It's just got that mustache.

We had classrooms at our school.

We had those

movable ceiling tiles and people would throw sandwiches up there and stuff.

So like every class just stunk of mold and shit.

And

we had,

they did, in the 80s, it was very popular to use a school that was far too small for the school population but instead of expanding the school they would use those portables the outside portables yep yep yep when i was in elementary school i'm not even kidding we had like 50 of those outside portables like all my classes were in those outside portables still happening yeah and All it would take is for one person to be sick in one of those.

And the thing, that portable would be cursed forever.

You could never get the smell of sick out of them.

Like, I don't know what it was, but like in the summer, they were just like little sweat boxes.

In the winter, they were always cold.

Like, oh man, this is worse.

It was bad.

It was bad.

The weirdest room in my school, looking back, was the armory.

The armory, the armory.

We had an armory, like, as in guns.

No way.

Have you been playing Blue Prince?

What's that?

It's the game that we were talking about at the very start of the podcast.

It's basically you have to build a house, and this house has some really fucking weird rooms in it because they had to make up like 60 or 70 rooms, right?

And some of them are a bit odd.

Blueprints.

Blueprints.

Like, like blueprints.

It's like the play on words, but it's actually called blue.

I feel like if I mention it to you enough, P-Flax, you're getting.

Blueprints.

Yeah.

Welcome to Mount Holly, where every dawn unveils a new mystery.

Navigate through shifting corridors and ever-changing chambers and explore and defying strategies.

The advert.

The advert is different.

What do you mean?

The advert.

There is then

you're reading it like it's an advert.

Oh, sorry.

No, I'm just reading the copy on Steam.

I'll add it to my wish list.

You should.

It's really good.

I think you'd like it.

I'd like to give you a copy.

I think you'd like it, Play.

Okay.

It's weird.

It's a bit like Father Ted, you know, like the recommendation doesn't do it justice.

You got to play it to really appreciate it.

Yeah, that's true.

If you told people Father Ted is about three priests on a tiny island

in Ireland.

And that it was funny, you'd be like, okay, that does not sound funny.

That sounds pretty dry.

Yeah, but yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, know.

It's a good word.

It's a blast.

But sorry, that has like an armory and stuff.

So you had an armory in your school.

Yeah, I think we probably did as well because we had the cadet force.

Exactly.

So that was what we had.

And it had a bunch of rifles in there and ammunition.

And it wasn't like only teachers could go there.

They had the keys.

But then some of the senior pupils who were in the CCF could also get access to the armory.

And I'm thinking nowadays that probably wouldn't happen.

But yeah, we had guns on the school premises, not just a couple, but like a lot of guns.

Yeah, that was the Lee Enfields.

We had some

SA-80s.

We had a Bren gun.

It's pretty wild.

But they were, you know, because

I guess the whole point was that we've spoken about the CCF before, of course, but the cadet force was like a recruitment tool for the military.

Cause it's like, you know, this was a boys' school.

quite a conservative school.

We'll get him, get them into the military good and young, because, you know,

they serve in the military.

Did they teach?

No, we didn't do the warface lessons.

Let me see your warface.

Ah, that's warface.

We just didn't have that.

It was just like simple military stuff.

Like

one time we did a signals thing where we had to go to a park in Bournemouth and set up a big antenna and we camped near there.

And then for the rest of the, for 48 hours, we had to get in contact, radio contact with other bases around the UK.

And we had to exchange coded information with them that they would give us their code, we'd give them our code.

And the idea was whichever troop gets the most of the codes from the other bases wins the sort of national CCF tournament for communication for signals, which was a lot of fun.

So we were just, you were up all night and in shifts, getting on the radio and trying to figure out how to get in contact with

the guys up in Scotland or the lads over in Derbyshire or wherever, get their code.

We had to learn like the alphabet, how you say numbers on the military radio.

You don't say five, you say fife.

Um, you don't say nine, you say niner, stuff like that.

Niners.

Um, so that was that was fun.

You don't say five, you say fife.

I've never heard that one.

Yeah, it's it's like you, you pronounce you enunciate them like one, two, three,

four, fife, six, six, seven, eight, nine, because fife.

Would they do that in five sounds too much?

Would they do that on like a like a trucker?

Like, would truckers do that too?

Or is that just military?

No, I don't think so.

I don't think so.

Here's a little ducky.

This is Fife Niner.

69er coming on hot.

69er.

This is Lil Ducky here.

This is Jean-Gi Tupperware.

We need some Tupperware, Mr.

Jean-Guy.

But yeah, so it was fun.

I mean, the CCF, I did enjoy it.

Sometimes it was shit, but some of the older lads were just absolute twat.

Yeah, I'm sure some of the guys from my school ended up going into the officer training college or whatever, straight out of school.

I knew a couple of because they were big into it, you know, it did, it did create, it did have an effect.

Um, it was, it was, it was fun, like it was strange you joined it, but again, it was the same.

Like, school was a little bit like that.

You know, you got a choice of doing you could learn instruments, join the chess club, you could hang out with the nerds in the computer room.

I kind of did a bit of everything.

I wish I'd done more at school, in all honesty.

Looking back now, I just fucking hated it so much.

I was so

biggest slacker.

Like, I didn't do anything at school.

Yeah, I did nothing.

There were loads of, I mean, there either, I will say this, though, it's not like there were that many opportunities because the school was just shit.

Yeah.

Like, I went to Bournemouth school.

Apparently, now it's better, but there was just nothing.

Like, it was just really rotten.

Everything was falling apart.

All the labs were really shit.

We had like shit computers, the library, everything, and it was so old and musty.

It just felt like underfunded and lacking in care.

And a lot of the teachers were just completely mentally checked out or should have been.

And they were just useless.

And looking back now, it was just a

really shitty time and a waste, a real waste of

a lot of potential.

It turned out all right.

No, it didn't.

What do I do for living?

I don't even have a job.

I don't have a job.

We've got jobless,

jobless, bald

addicted.

The baldness comes out.

Maybe if your brain had been more nourished when you were younger, all your hair might have not popped out.

We got personally.

Come.

And yeah, me having an identity crisis.

It's a disaster, three of us.

But thank God we've got each other.

Hell yeah.

You know,

we've got you, the listener.

Thank you for wild and crazy guys.

The Lords of Chaos will return next week.

Until then,

goodbye.

And you.