Suck me or I'll Die | Triforce #320

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Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Trifles Podcast.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

We're back, we're back.

It's been a little couple of weeks of half-term holiday for some.

Yes.

For children.

For children.

As a result, people with children have been having either a trip away or having to try and figure out how to have them looked after and juggle work.

Hey, listen.

Listen to this one.

Listen to this one.

We are meant to go away.

We were meant to just go to France for a couple of days.

Everybody was looking forward to it.

Good, good times, everything.

Everybody.

All of us, my whole family, all five of us were looking forward to going away.

The night before,

we hadn't started packing yet.

And my wife got all the passports out.

She looked at her passport and she's like, oh, shit.

I got to renew my passport soon.

Oh, how long do you have left on it?

She's like, I don't know, just like under three months.

I was like, ah, we're fucked.

Like, we can't go.

Because you have to have at least three months left on your passport now to travel to Europe.

And because we're, and because we left the EU, it's uh, it's even more strict now.

So

we had to cancel.

It sucked.

There you go.

You didn't

cancel the whole thing.

We had to cancel the whole thing.

Yeah, they wouldn't have let us in.

Yeah.

And at first, we were like, oh, maybe we can just chance it.

And we kind of thought, like, we better not just in case we get there and they deny us and kids start crying and getting scared and stuff.

You know, it's not like it's not like the longest journey ever, it's like an hour on the boat or whatever, but you know, it's a lot of upheaval just to get there and be denied.

So, we decided to just cancel and not go.

And we spoke to a bunch of people after, and everybody's like, Oh my god, you did the right thing!

Like, there's no fucking chance in hell they would have let you in.

Like, there's so

international

border guards and stuff are so strict, like, there's no way.

So I feel like it sucks, but you know, at least we didn't accidentally go because it would have been worse.

You like the kind of family of five who would be

immigrants, you know,

looking to stay there illegally for,

you know, longer.

Absolutely.

I mean, I had my Chicago bulls hat ready to go and everything.

I was, I was, I was ready to pitch up.

I was ready to fucking join a gang once I got there and everything.

France is

very alluring.

Very alluring place.

You know, you just can't help us.

I wanted to immerse myself in gang culture as soon as I got there, you know.

So I think that's, if you go on holiday, you really should immerse yourself in the local culture.

So if you go to somewhere that's got a lot of gang troubles, you should join the gang.

Absolutely.

If you can't beat them, join them.

Join them.

Exactly.

I mean, I'm thinking that these gangs are on to a money maker because they could run tourist days where you can join our gang for a day, motherfucker.

And you see, it's the same.

You do a few drive-bys, you rob a few liquor stores,

and you shoot another gang guy, an enemy gang guy.

Yeah, that can be like it.

That can be the finale at the end of the day.

And at the end of your day out, you get to bust a cap.

Everyone will enjoy busting a cap on the ass of one of those bastards that wears blue.

We wear red, of course.

That'd be a hell of a day out.

Yeah.

So, yeah, so our, so our, our Easter holiday plans were scuppered right at the at the final hour, but um,

so it goes.

That is a disaster.

Yeah, yeah, so it goes.

We, we had a good week anyway.

I think we, we made up for it, you know, like there's, there was some disappointment.

People were bummed out for a couple of days, but uh, I think we turned it around.

It was, it, it was all right.

Went to see the Minecraft movie, which was, which was, you know, didn't fall asleep during it, which is my,

my measure of whether a movie is okay or not.

We enjoyed it.

We went with, I mean, obviously, we've got a long history with Minecraft.

Yeah.

They did invite us to the premiere in London.

But they have a habit, YouTube and these other people, of treating a YouTube channel as one person, right?

So they just assume that that's how it is.

And in reality, any YouTube channel of any decent size is not just one person.

It's at minimum, that person

does not want to go to an event on their own.

They're going to want to go with their partner, or perhaps the person who runs the channel, or perhaps the person who edits for the channel.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, there's a huge amount of people involved, and even the smallest, apparently seeming significant YouTube channels.

And even if it is genuinely a one-man job, they're not going to want to go on their own, not knowing anyone to these events.

Like, you know, I get invited by YouTube to some event and it's like, how many tickets are there?

It's one and strictly no plus ones.

And I'm like, like, who's going, who's going to this?

Do you know what I mean?

Who are they?

So that's that's that's by the by, but I feel like it is the end of an era, right?

Like, um, for us, you know, it was 15 years ago or something that we started playing Minecraft.

And

it was, it was integral to like where we got started and Yogs and

the whole thing that we've we've we've got and built.

And it's

it's kind of um, but so we did go.

We we booked um we didn't book book out the whole cinema.

We actually just found a showing that was empty and um

and said book tickets here, people.

And so I booked a chair and I was next booked chair next to someone else.

I booked a sofa in Everyman.

And

for me and my partner, who had had a really bad day and was incidentally like has doesn't really have any knowledge in real life or in Minecraft.

Okay.

Yes.

My partner had a terrible day in Minecraft and we watched the movie.

She lost 10 diamonds.

She was so pissed off.

Oh, no.

And we booked to see the movie in Minecraft.

We could have done that, honestly.

We could have done a thing where, like...

We just built a cinema in Minecraft.

You've lost your touch.

10 years ago, you guys would have been all over this.

And now you're just

lost your touch.

If COVID had, you know, carried on and we'd all been locked down and still and stuff, I think maybe people would be doing that kind of shit.

You know, they're doing a micro screening in Minecraft, a screening in all these things.

You know what I mean?

Like,

I feel like that's we have the technology.

There's like it's been mods for about 10 years to watch TV and you know, films in the game.

You know, I think that's

really an interesting experience.

That's just an idea for another time.

But I enjoyed the movie.

Have you seen it, P-Flax?

No, but what I have seen is

the

memes.

No, the audience reactions oh the the

we didn't have any of that when we went but no no no but I know people were saying oh gosh this is awful these zoomer audiences or alpha audiences don't know how to control themselves I was I've been saying this and I'll die on this hill this is this should be the future of cinema is having much more rowdy interactive fun you know group activities in the cinema because that's the only thing that they can do that you can't do at home you can't watch it at home with a group of people Just like going to a live football match is different because you're in the crowd and you have fun.

That's it.

That's it.

If you think the traditional cinema experience is sitting very quietly in a darkened place and watching the screen, you can do that at home and it's cheaper.

And you can pause it and go to the toilet.

The snacks are in your house, but you couldn't invite 500 other people along for a huge group screening of something and have a real laugh.

I cannot agree more.

Obviously, I don't agree with the throwing popcorn.

I do.

They should encourage that.

This is what the cinematic should do.

They should throw it into my mouth if they're going to throw it up.

They should sell fake plastic popcorn.

No, no, no.

They just have to get a hoover.

You just have to get a big fucking hoover for the stuff.

Popcorn hoover.

And they hoover it up.

Or you have a screening where the theater is almost like, you know, like a football stadium where you've got like terraced fucking seating with just fold up plastic seats, much easier to clean.

And you don't, you know, you just have the this is the live experience movie theater.

And whatever.

I honestly can't agree more.

I genuinely, for example, when we went there, there were a few people in the cinema who weren't Yogg's people.

And I almost like,

I almost thought of saying something to them, like, guys, we're going to be laughing and stuff.

Is that okay?

But then I realized, like, what am I doing?

Because that is

the whole point of this, you know, if you, if you, if something's funny and you guys laugh at it, like, that's okay.

It's not like we're heckling, um, you know, actively standing up and making it.

I apologize to to people for laughing during a movie i was always like prepared no because i didn't quite we had simon along and stuff and and and everyone and ohs and you know and simon is simon was making some noises at some various points you know when something was weird or funny or whatever and it was it was kind of nice to have it was nice to have the cinema full of people we knew um and so i knew there was going to be a little bit of like like when people did the chicken jockey or whatever someone was like rabs was going to cheer at it or whatever yell chicken jockey and stuff like this like i don't know it was it was these meme memeable moments and people people people genuinely are yeah you're right it's a it's more it has to be more of a communal experience if everyone is if you know if i laugh and someone shushes me right you know that's like what the fuck but but people don't laugh at the same things that's the thing like I was sat next to Duncan and I don't think we laughed at the same thing like at once.

He was laughing away at something and then and I was I was laughing away away at something else that, that he didn't find funny.

I don't know.

It was, it was a kind of, but he was setting me off, though.

Like, like,

we set each other off.

Like, the cinema, I think other people started laughing at stuff that, because I think, I think otherwise, I would, if I watched it at home or in silence, I don't think I would have laughed much at all.

But because there were so many weird bits in the movie and so many cringy bits and so many stupid bits and bad bits too, right?

Like, and dumb bits, like sometimes, like, I think I enjoyed it more because I was surrounded by people who were kind of of giving me this almost like just sort of running commentary of the movie.

And I mean, I obviously, I don't know, I didn't expect to enjoy it, but I think

I did.

So I can't.

Well, I have no intention of seeing it.

I did go on holiday.

You have no intention of seeing it?

No, I have no intention of seeing it.

Sorry.

Fair enough.

I'm not having a go.

I'm just saying.

Did you guys watch the new series of Black Mirror yet?

No.

Yes.

I've watched it all.

Where do I watch?

Where do I watch that?

Netflix.

Oh, okay.

Netflix.

I think this is my favorite series of Black Mirror yet.

I think every single episode is really fun and really good.

And some of them are extremely thought-provoking.

My standout episode is the Thronglets episode with Peter Capaldi,

which, because I've watched it myself and then watched it with other people, I've actually seen it three times.

And I say, bring on the throng.

I want to be thronged up, baby.

Throng me.

Throng me now.

It is.

It is.

Each of the episodes is

the throng song.

and

the song

that would be that would be something that's now that's a that's a reboot I think we need that sounds like a good one.

It's honestly a brilliant brilliant back return to form after quite frankly some um ropey seasons i thought last last season was joan was all joan is awful was a really good episode the one where the woman has a netflix series made about her life that precisely

that was very

that was a great episode but i think the rest of it was like there were some good moments.

But this time, there's an episode with Paul Giamattian that's absolutely brilliant.

The Pete Capaldi one that I mentioned, of course.

I liked the one with the black and white movie.

I know some people didn't like that.

I thought that was a good episode.

And I thought the one with Chris O'Dowd and,

oh, God, I can never remember her name.

Karen from the Office.

Karen from the Office, yeah.

Brilliant episode and genuinely horrifying.

But I did think it was interesting that some of the comments in that episode are about how you sign up for one service, but then they add a new layer.

And now the thing that you signed up for has become worse.

So, for example, if I'm signed up for Netflix, what's to say that they won't add ads to that and then have a new layer that says, oh, this is the ad-free, which is Netflix Plus?

Do you know what I mean?

And then that's the same thing.

Basically, each of them is a little social commentary on something that's going on in the world or something that's taking place.

And the first one is clearly about subscription services and corporate,

you know, the way the greed corporate right overwhelming any kind of other thought and and i think that there is yeah a lot of things to be to be to be gleaned a lot of it isn't at all ever going to be a thing yeah um it's it's it's complete fantasy you know being able to

i always think it's like it's like what what would be the this but in extremis so it's just saying all right well you know ai whatever what's the ultimate of that and i think that's interesting to explore is where, where, where is

the worst place this could go?

But then also, I think I just really respect Charlie Brooker's way to, because you can tell almost like he has been inspired.

Like, in that, again, we won't do any spoilers if you haven't seen it.

I haven't seen it.

I'll watch it.

They're really, they're really worth watching.

They're like,

the episodes are like self-contained, right?

100% self-contained.

Okay, perfect.

And almost, they almost are worth watching in a way where you stop.

You don't just binge the thought, right?

Because I think that's a little bit like doom scrolling on tick tock right by the time you're on to the next one you sort of haven't really had time to digest and like mull it over yeah like I genuine do believe in that where you have this little break between each episode and I'm like yeah

digest it a little bit think about yeah yeah because I think sometimes yeah I talked to Daph about one of the episodes and we both had really different takes on it it was really weird it was like having a water cooler kind of

what was the episode you had different takes on the the first the first episode oh yeah yeah yeah because it was so kind of some people think it's like, I don't know, it's not, it's not, none of them are like physically gross out or like, you know, any kind of graphic violence or graphic sex or anything like that.

It's not, it's not shock value.

No, not at all.

It's not graphical sex in it.

No, I'm sorry, but fuck.

It's very much like, what, what happens if people do this?

You know,

and I guess it's just, yes, it's frightening, I guess, is what it is.

But so there is one episode which is a sequel to another episode.

So you will need to watch the first one of that to watch this one.

Yeah,

they're all stamped.

Because it's been so long since I saw episodes of like I just love that tech horror, that near future tech horror.

It's way more interesting to me to think, oh shit, I could imagine that.

You know what I mean?

That doesn't seem that far off rather than alien on a spaceship.

I'm like, well...

Who gives a shit?

Oh, by the way, was it you, Lewis, that recommended that book about living on Mars?

A city on Mars?

Did you recommend that?

It wasn't main, okay.

I guess it was must have been one of my videos, but they recommended a book.

It's by Kelly and Zach Wienersmith.

It's called A City on Mars, and the subtitle is: Yeah, I know, Can We Settle Space?

Should we settle space?

And have we really thought this through?

That's the sort of object of the book.

And essentially, they analyze what people are saying about living on other planets, whether we should even do it, and what might be some of the difficulties.

And honestly, I would say I'm about halfway through, and the conclusion so far is: I fucking hope I never have to live on another planet, it's gonna absolutely suck.

Um, and they know that, and they're like, Here's all the terrible reasons that it would be awful.

It's very good.

I'll be watching um For All Mankind, oh, yeah, it's quite good, isn't it?

I do find it a bit slow sometimes.

What is that?

It's uh, Apple's theory.

Sorry, Lula, go ahead.

No, go for it, be facts.

Okay, oh, is this the Tom Hanks thing?

Is it a Tom Hanks thing?

No, no, I don't think so.

Um, I could be wrong.

It's on Apple TV and it is

about what if Russia won the space race.

Oh, okay.

Sorry.

Yeah, I think I'm going to go.

And put a woman on the moon.

Like, that's how it opens: they're all in a bar, like a bunch of people are at home, and it pans across all these different sort of people in America watching the moon landing.

And they plant a Russian flag, and it's a woman who's the first person on Mars on the moon.

And that changes so much because, first of all, America has to catch up.

They've got to do something even cooler, right?

Because you can't let Russia win.

And it leads to them saying, hey, we need to get more women in the program because we can't let them seem like the enlightened and cooler ones.

So it brings about sort of gender and race equality before it would have happened otherwise.

It brings on more money going into space exploration, moon bases, a cold war in space, and it goes on from there.

And the way the show works is at the end of each season, you sort of advance a decade, say, and see where we are now.

And, you know, it's interesting.

I will say that, um, I do feel like some sometimes these series are too fucking long, and you have these flabby episodes where it's just almost like soap-opera shit between a couple of characters.

I mean, I find that very tedious.

Um, if they tighten it up a little bit, I always think it would be better.

But, um, you know, these streaming services want just content, don't they?

So, sometimes it feels a little flabby, but it is a good show, um, and I have enjoyed it.

I haven't finished it yet, but uh, I enjoy it.

I obviously do enjoy the both both.

I think I enjoy stuff that's within the realms of

reality.

I've talked about this a lot on this podcast, but I like the alternate reality stuff and I like seeing what's different because I like history.

Oh, yeah.

In the same way that I enjoyed Oppenheimer and things like this, and they, you know,

but that was that, that, well, it's like obviously fiction, historical fiction, isn't it, really?

But it means it did, they did, but

it's nice to see those characters that I've read about and heard, you know, and heard about walking around doing stuff.

You know, it's nice to see these astronauts, you know, Neil Armstrong and some of the others.

Some of the others, some of the characters are real, some of them are based on real people, some of them are fake, made up, and some of them are half, half.

So there's like this big,

one of the main sort of female leads in the first season is based on a real character, Jerry Cobb, who was a

really excellent pilot and flew planes and things her whole life, you know, and absolutely would have been part of the astronaut program if

sex discrimination and things like this hadn't been a thing, you know.

Um, so I know it's kind of fascinating to see this alternate history in the same way that the um the alternate World War II one, A Man in the High Castle, quite enjoyed that, just from a kind of, you know, I do think it went on a bit, but it is, it is good,

it is, yeah, it was again, it was, it was, it was, I think sometimes these things, their first season is really where they have their strength, you know, and I will say that generally too, like I think that sometimes these shows,

everyone's first book and their first show and their first concept, again, part of the reason is that you're coming into it fresh.

It's a new thing.

It's a new idea.

Have you read the actual Lord of the Rings books, like the trilogy?

Oh, I don't remember.

Years and years and years ago.

Here's the thing.

Here's the thing.

I'm at a point now in my 40s where you say to me, have you seen this movie?

And I'll be like, yeah, 20 years ago.

I can't fucking remember.

So I can't remember.

I'm not going to ask you.

Any about characters.

I'm not going to ask you trivia about it.

I'm just going to say, did you think, like, if you'd read the first book, The Fellowship of the Ring, I would say that

that whole trilogy gets more exciting and cool as it goes on.

Even though the origin story is book one, book one is basically setting up books two and three.

And if you think about the Fellowship of the Ring, the actual book, it is like, you know, people talk about games being walking simulator or whatever.

That is what book one of the Lord of the Rings is.

I remember reading it at the time and thinking, how the fuck am I going to finish this book?

Because it is so slow.

Them getting together in the Shire and deciding to head off and them heading off.

It is like every footstep they take is commented on.

Every bit of scenery is commented on.

The whole Tom Bombardil fucking thing, the whole thing with the thing.

You're like me.

It's so you feel.

Here's the thing with me, me and you, and I'm one of these people who reads every word of a book.

Right.

And I

feel like it's cheating.

I skip the songs.

i can't be dealing with reading in a sense like that i'm happy to skip the songs any of that nonsense because like you know i can't i'm not listening to it john yeah yeah i'm not gonna play song version on spotify while i'm reading it do you mean i'm not like that but i i feel like some people are not afraid to skim um who does that and then and you meet these people who read you know seven books a week and the secret is they're not actually reading them shocking um shocking they're they're just skimming through them they get you know they're like

they quickly at a glance pan through you know what these guys are they're like the people that watch youtube at two times speed which i have been doing more really if i'm like yeah i know where this is going i'll just two times it and then when it gets to the interesting bit i'll slow down but a lot of i can actually two times it you realize how much is fella but you but you've done this as well i found myself doing this in games more as well certain games where you can click through the narrative next next next next next next next wall of text

i'll let the wall of text load and i'll see i'll i will at a glance see snippets of it right orcs attack town something

my I don't want to know daughter click you know like blah blah blah blah blah like rescue okay click

next next next XX let's go

yeah exactly right and so you're like you get to the end and you're like I think I got the gist of it and you you know

requesting pop-ups and it's like rescue the orcs daughter and you're like okay no problem go ahead it's like can I understand where they put it in there some people love all that backstory but my mate is always uh teasing me my mate Axel is always having a goat at me about how in these narrative games, I'm just like, escape, escape, escape, escape, just get me out of this fucking dialogue and get on with the game.

I think that's partly terrible

lack of attention span.

And also, just I don't trust the writing in a lot of these games to be worth reading.

Like, I will watch it if it's cack.

I will enjoy it more if it's really bad dialogue.

But if it's competent, I'm just like, this is just competent.

I'm not fair enough.

Here's the thing, P-Flax.

If you notice it, that means it's either bad or up its own ass.

Like, Disco Elysium was so hated that game.

Up its own ass.

Like,

so many people tell me, mate, you've got you should play Disco Elysium.

I was like, I played it, I made it an hour in, and I thought, this is a load of absolute wankery.

This is this game is someone who's had a vertebrae removed so they can suck themselves off.

That is my review.

I completely agreed.

However, I did get into it once I got over that.

I did not.

And I had a blast with it.

And I do recommend it.

I could not stand all the extra layers they kept adding on of just bullshit.

The bit that I tapped out on was the thing where they have that thing that forces you to smile or something.

I was like, oh, fuck me.

This is so on the nose and wanky.

I just, I just can't stand it.

I can't stand it.

It was clear.

There was some real clever ideas in it.

I really enjoyed it.

I recently actually played the RoboCop game.

Oh, that was

right.

RoboCop.

Again, dude, you don't play it.

There's a game called RoboCop Rogue City.

Oh, it's so much.

Now, here's the thing about that: the game.

They've clearly watched the movie and made it into a fucking game.

And it's like

spec.

It's good in the sense that RoboCop was janky as fuck

back in the day.

It was this kind of guy, like very wardenly.

Did you got the music in it, too?

Yeah, dude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're a Robocop.

And you have the gun that goes.

And if you pat the lads in the head, their fucking heads explode.

You can blow limbs off.

It's like the movie.

It's like being, it's like doing the movie as a movie.

yeah.

You've got RoboCop stomping around, you've got like the shitty 80s overlay, you've got like a 80s gun, you've got 80s characters with 80s hair, you walk 80s in the town and you have to like solve crimes and shit.

There's like little crimes you've got to solve, freeze scumbag here.

Can you shoot them in the balls?

It's brilliant.

Like, I had a, I had a now, of course, I don't think that it's actually even that well-reviewed, the game generally.

It's all right.

Um, oh, it's very positive on Steam, but but as someone who remembers very fondly RoboCop from, you know, when I was a teenager,

I had an absolute, like, I'm not like a big fan.

I've not got like the fucking Funko Pops.

I'm a casual.

You don't.

Yeah, RoboCop was fun back in the day.

It was fun, you know?

It's an older movie, right?

And it's an older movie.

It's a bit of a surprise, but it checks out.

But it does.

That's the thing.

And I think the playing through the game and being in the universe was just great.

I mean, I feel like so often people sell the rights to a franchise and you get such a different product.

You know, it's, and it doesn't even feel like you're in the universe sometimes.

Like the amount of, I don't know, Batman or Jurassic Park or things like this, games that I've played or different branded games that just doesn't feel like it.

But because there isn't a Robocop extended universe with 50 movies,

it's very pure what the what the product is, right?

Um, and so I, I just just being that dumb character stomping around and in it felt real,

it just felt real beefy and 80s and i don't know i liked it so yeah robo cop rogue z i saw you'd played it p flax and was like okay yeah it was bands it was bands it was really really fun i sort of use you as a little benchmark for how many like i look at steam and i'm like period flax has played 18 hours of this and i'm like okay i'll be that

what is it like

what is it like uh is it just like uh period did 13 hours like is it like a linear shooter you just work your way through the story no no no no it's it's it's like it's i mean there are, it's kind of that the story is not particularly elaborate, but you have to solve these little crimes along the way.

Um, so you know, you'll go to a new area and you'll walk about and you'll find some evidence of this, or you'll be called out to that.

You've got like the police base you have to go back to.

You're just solving little crimes and shit, right?

Um, towards some other, you know, there's like a big story arc.

And then there are sort of these set-piece elements where you have to blast your way through

enemies and shit.

Um, it's it's fun, it is a fun thing.

But then you'll go through a doorway and you'll be in

your suburban bungalow and your wife and your cart and stuff will be in the next room or whatever crying.

And, you know, like, because you're obviously robotic.

I'm still struggling with the human.

Yeah.

I would say that that's the weakest part of the game.

What do you do in your house?

Can you like, can you, can you build it or anything?

Yeah, you have to zoom in with the answers

around the house.

Your wife's like, honey, can you take the bins out?

And so you have to do that.

You have to change the mail, you have to mow the lawn.

For people who think that your wife asking you to take the bins out is some kind of, you know, kind of slightly sexist stereotype, Mrs.

F literally said to me before I came in here, can you please take the bins?

Can you please change the bin when you finish recording?

Like, she just hates doing that.

I had to do the bins.

The smell of the bin

drives her mad.

Yeah, I do.

I've been putting off doing the bin.

My partner's been away, and I normally don't do it.

It's like a game of chicken with the bin.

That's the thing.

But I really should.

If I step back and use my human brain instead of my animal brain for a second, I would realize that doing the bin would get me a lot of good boy points and I will do the bin.

But do you know what I mean?

Well, instead, you're arguing.

I have to step back.

No,

I'm automatically not doing it because I don't, because it's stinky.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, you just got to do it.

I mean, Mrs.

F hates any kind of job that involves something that's going to stink.

I have barely any sense of smell.

So to me, emptying the bin is no big deal.

Like, I do that.

I do the cat litter, and there's a few other mucky jobs around the house.

I'm the one who does that.

I have no problem with that whatsoever.

I don't mind a mucky job, but there are limits.

Cleaning up dog shit is one thing I absolutely fucking hate doing.

Do you hate the way of the bagging, like the warm, you put the plastic bag on your hand, you go down, you pick it up.

So I like it.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Wiping yourself puke.

That's a bad one.

Who's puke?

My kids puke.

So I don't mind that.

The dumb bot never bothered me.

Really?

Wiping up my kids' sick.

Even saying that stuff makes me feel a bit queasy.

I hate knowing that it's about to happen as well.

You're nowhere near a toilet and you're just like, fuck me.

This is how you happen to feel you are like, oh, fuck.

Yeah.

Damn it.

Absolutely.

So

if you look at games that I play,

have you played Ultimate General Civil War?

I looked at it and I was like, I can't be dealing with this one.

I've got 441 hours of that.

I think, oh, Lulu should be.

That is the biggest fucking P Flax shout out I've ever heard.

Ultimate General Civil War?

Ultimate General.

I tell you what, I'm not really all that interested in the American Civil War.

Oh, it's a fascinating war.

It's absolutely fascinating.

It's one of the first, I think it was probably the first sort of modern war that was, like, if you think about World War I, which came, what, 50 odd years later, 60 odd years later.

First of all, I think the American Civil War is fascinating because if you want to talk about alt histories, the United States of America could have gone down a very different route

if this war had gone a different way.

The fact that it was like a civil war, civil wars are always interesting to me because it's just crazy that within your own country, like a lot of countries have had civil wars.

I always find them very interesting.

And this was semi-old school kind of Napoleonics because you had lines of men, you had cavalry, artillery, infantry, that's it.

But you had these advances coming in that we were just not ready for the level of bloodshed that there would be.

and it is insane how many people died in some of these battles i think i was talking about the ken burns uh civil war documentary maybe in previous episodes amazing oh i didn't watch that one i've watched the same one but the civil war one which is so the civil war one is never really good yeah charlie sheen is an icon of decadence i lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be he's going the distance he was the highest paid tv star of all time when it started to change it was queer he kept saying no no no i'm in the hospital now but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's going to tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

Aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

If you thought goldenly breaded McDonald's chicken couldn't get more golden, think golder because new sweet and smoky special edition gold sauce is here.

Made for your chicken favorites at Participate in McDonald's for limited time.

Oh, can I just can we just do this really quickly?

I just go for it.

Found this.

This is on

shout-outs today.

Shout out to Civil War.

Yeah, shout-out.

This is on the news round part of the BBC website.

So, Newsround is like a kid's news.

Yeah, and I just thought, I wonder if we can solve this quiz.

This is quiz of the week.

Have you been following this week's news?

Do you guys want to do this?

Sure, yeah.

Yeah, I've been following

it.

Even though I'm trying not to,

what world first have scientists grown in a lab this week?

Skin, Skin, tooth, eyeball, bone.

Oh, it was a tooth, I think, wasn't it?

You're going to say tooth?

I'm going to say

skin.

I'll go for eyeball.

So I've selected tooth.

It was tooth.

Scientists at King's College have grown a human tooth in a lab.

Wow.

Next question.

We know this one.

Which pop star went on a fucking trip to space?

Katie Bloody Perry, wasn't it?

Yeah, she's an assistant

at the time.

I hated this not because it was just a bunch of rich people being sent up into space, which is like, you know, for them and not

Not space.

Is this something?

No, not quite.

It was technically space.

It was technically space.

Well.

No, it was.

It was called the Kalman line.

Yeah, it was past that line, but they were in space for four minutes.

I will say this.

Doesn't make them astronauts.

It's not a big deal.

Did they have to do any training whatsoever to go up?

No, they just got in the space.

They just got in.

Put on their little spacesuits and went up, and they were in space for four minutes.

And then their vessel, the sort of pod that they were in, comes back to earth uh that's it uh the rocket went up and came down within like a minute uh which is incredible that the relanding rockets that that these blue origin and spacex have is genuinely yeah they are impressive yeah really sort of future tech that you think how is this a thing um but all they were doing was going

was about the gist of it and then they came back and said oh it was amazing yeah

of course i'm sure it is amazing going up that high but you've turned going into space into a fucking ride like this is just a ride at this point like it's not that different from those rides that take you up really high and then drop you you know what i mean that's essentially all this is a very expensive version of that ride but i i genuinely think that it is super dangerous yeah

i don't know if i'd want to go up i i i think like you know these

it is a

a just a a a gamble right i mean like that tourist space that tourist submarine you know oh god It's only a matter of time before one of these goes up.

Yeah, of course.

I mean, but, you know, it's obviously not as safe as getting in an aeroplane.

And it's pushing the extremes of tourism, if you like, blasting people into near orbit or whatever you'd call it, just past the Kármán line.

So I don't, you couldn't orbit there, I think.

You'd be too close.

I think a lot of people are scared to fly, let alone

go in a fucking...

And so you've got to give them a little bit of respect.

I do give them some credit for that.

However, this was an all-female launch that was the whole point was just all women on there put them into space it was meant to be this kind of feminist thing all that katy perry and a couple others were talking about was what their outfits were going to be and i was i just thought that that is such a shitty message and this is katy perry who put out that song uh this is this it's a woman's world and you're lucky to be living in it if you watch that video it's like the most dated vision of you know feminism um this to me was a big anti-feminist movement and as people have pointed out the rocket looks like a giant cock so you're stuffing a bunch of women into the glands of this space cock and launching them into space i just think it's a bit

i agree so it was crazy it does it does well it looks actually more like one of them um

back massages

yeah the uh the vibrato uh who won the masters golf tournament it was uh rory

mclroy it was well done sir uh i don't watch golf i don't either

but i knew that i knew that Holly the Dog

had her last

at Alderhay Hospital, a children's hospital.

What was Holly the Dog's job?

Was she the cuddle manager, the guard dog, a doctor, or a nurse?

I think she's the coddler manager.

Cuddle manager?

I don't argue with cuddle manager.

It's correct.

She even had a little NHS ID card that said Holly Dog, cuddle manager.

Oh, that's very good.

And how big is England's tallest tree?

83 meters, 63, 43, 23.

England's tallest tree.

Yeah.

Well, we have been growing some giant redwoods.

No,

really?

Yeah, I've assumed when I was 23.

Southeast England.

That's not very big.

23 meters is fucking huge, man.

It's 63.

63?

Yeah.

Fuck.

23 is not that big for a tree.

That's got to be like an outlier world's tallest tree or something.

They're not all that tall.

I've seen the world's tallest tree when we went to California, and it's uh it's insane half a million giant redwood trees in the uk that's not that many

that's not that many yeah

we planted them no come on trees

they're everywhere that's not that many trees

i i'd plant a giant redwood in my garden if i had a garden and a tree and

i mean i don't know how long they take to get to that height but um that's true i think some trees grow very very slowly yeah um

and i think i which one is it which is this tallest tree then i don't know someone in England.

The tallest giant redwood in the UK is 55 meters.

Sweet.

So Hyperion.

It's a southern tree.

Hyperion, which is the tallest one in the world, it's between six and eight hundred years old.

It is absolutely fucking enormous.

It's 116 meters high.

116 meters high.

What's it called?

Hyperion.

Oh, that's a great name.

It's a great name.

The tallest one in England doesn't have a name, apparently.

It's just a tree.

It's just a Douglas fir that is 66 meters meters tall.

Yeah, um, oh, can we?

I just need to do something.

We had an email.

Uh, I know this isn't a mailbag part of the podcast, but somebody um emailed in.

I will try and find uh, the email real quick.

Uh, all right, here it is.

So, um, I know that this isn't a mailbag episode, but I wanted to read this one.

This is from Robbie, a tiny penis haver.

Robbie.

I was recently driving through Twickenham for the first time in my life and saw a sign for Teddington.

Uh, this made me chuckle because that's your name, and you're in Twickenham.

Indeed, uh, Teddington is uh one of my sort of neighboring parts of southwest London.

I go to Teddington quite often.

But there is a follow-up email from Robbie who says, as per my previous email, I have discovered there is a town called Sipson not far from Twickenham.

And it's true.

I've looked it up on the map and Sipson is a little village that is to the west of here,

a little actually to the northwest of Twickers is Sipson.

And he said he's now on the lookout for a Lewis-based place.

And of course, there is Lewisham.

Lewisham is in southeast London.

And so we have a Teddington, a Sipston, and a Sipson, and a Lewisham all within, I'd say, about 20 miles of each other.

So

we could do the Triforce podcast from those locations.

We should do that.

We should go on tour, hire out some places in these places and say, we're coming at you live from...

That would be fun, no?

Yes.

I mean, I talked to you guys.

I said last year we should do a live Triforce somewhere, but get a fucking theater.

We should do one in Teddington, one in Sipsingham, Sipson, Sipson, and then one in Lewisham.

Which one's best?

The problem is, I ain't going to fucking Lewisham.

Why not?

It's been pretty dodgy, dude.

I'm not going to Lewisham.

Come on, they've got to have like a nice part of it, though.

No, no, maybe.

I mean, Teddington is lovely.

I will say that.

Like, it's really nice.

And I'm sure Sipson is.

Shut the fuck up about it.

I ain't going to fucking Lewisham.

Teddington sounds like the name of a CBeebies show.

No?

Why Teddington is here?

Teddington wanted something for dinner.

Teddington was very horny.

My God.

Teddington couldn't wait to get home to his wife.

Mrs.

Teddington had the gyat that Teddington Bear desired.

Sing the gyat song with me, children.

Bunda, bunda, bunda.

You know what's bunda is?

Mrs.

Teddington was very sore after Mr.

Teddington.

She said, please, Teddington, can we take a break?

But Teddington was rock hard.

So we go again.

On tree news, I thought this is related.

There's a tropical tree in Panama called.

This is Lewis News.

But it happens to have a tree-related story in it.

tonka there's a tonka bean tree okay that has evolved in very stormy tropical um rainforest and it has actually been because it's a very tall tree it routinely gets struck by lightning and it's evolved to survive lightning strikes but use them to kill other trees oh my god

and especially things like parasitic vines that cling to them right so so it's like lightning bolt lightning bolt like it's become a major forest Lightning is a major cause of tree mortality, especially among the largest, oldest trees that play key roles in storing carbon.

And so, yeah, they

tracked these

specific trees getting here and found that they were much more resilient and showed no damage after being struck by lightning.

Whereas other trees around them and the vines that grow on them were all cleared away.

That's crazy.

Each lightning strike kills around two tons of tree biomass.

Jeez.

And

so, yeah, these this is the struck by lightning increases their seed production over their life by 14 times.

You go.

Wow.

Very interesting.

They're harnessing the pets.

It's like Frankenstein.

Do you know what I mean?

That's what he wanted to do.

Old Victor Frankenstein used to power lightning.

Old Vic Frankenstein, as we all know.

He'd love to have some of them trees growing in his back garden.

It's alive.

Man, oh man.

Wait, that's that's fucking

it's alive.

Isn't that Gordon's alive?

Isn't that what you're reviving?

I don't know.

I can't remember.

Okay, so it'll get

done a new Frankenstein or something, or am I thinking of something else?

I'm sure there's another fucking Frankenstein.

Oh, yeah, they did.

They're constantly doing this stuff because it's copyright-free.

So that Minecraft movie, originally, Matt Berry was going to be the

Steve

instead of Jack Black.

But because a lot lot of people are saying, oh, this is clearly a Jack Black vehicle or whatever.

But I feel, and Jack Black obviously does kill it.

And he's great.

He really puts in so much energy running around.

He's just

his line delivery.

But I think Matt Berry would have had a very similar role in a sense because he delivers lines in very odd ways and silly ways.

And I think it would have been a very different movie if Matt Berry was Steve.

But I still think it would have been interesting.

Also, they're enacting the Minecraft music into the national recording registry.

Um, but the

uh, like the opening music, that was in the movie a couple of times, wasn't it?

It was.

Did you have to wipe one tear from your eye when you heard it on the big screen?

I did not, no, but I recognized it, yeah, me too.

And it was, it was, and not, I'm glad they used it.

Um, also, they're enacting a bunch of other video game music, such as the Mario Bros.

Did it, did, did it, did pretty iconic stuff what about the

dragonborn from a skyrim that would be a good one as well and the fallout theme would be really good too imagine that oh yeah that is good good idea it's had like some variations but they've they're all they're all pretty good this year's um national recording registry has also included elton john's goodbye yellow brick road uh the original Broadway cast recording of Hamilton and Amy Warren.

I've never seen

Hamilton before.

Nah, me neither.

Everybody always raves on about it, but I've never seen it.

I'm not a big musicals.

No, I'm not a big fan of that period of American history.

Why?

No, I know.

Again, I don't know much about.

We don't get really taught this stuff.

Every American is taught about how they

quite simply

your country did well.

Yeah.

Right.

Or won.

We're taught about these battles that happened thousands of years ago, you know, that England won.

Because it's, and in America, every school kid is taught about the founding fathers and all this, right?

Whereas we don't know shit about it.

And so, as a result, like, I was kind of very, it was almost like acted like a little bit of a education to me of who these people were.

Um, one of them was black, unbelievably, which is crazy.

I didn't realize uh, one of the founding fathers was really,

which one talking about Abraham Lincoln.

Logan Hamilton, it's a joke, it's a joke.

It's a joy.

I was going to say, what the fuck?

Yeah, they were all slave owners, half of them, weren't they?

Yeah, it was terrible.

But anyway, great.

Hamilton.

Worth watching

sips if you get a chance.

I'm sure there'll be an opportunity to watch it.

When the hell am I going to get a chance to watch that, though?

Let's be real here.

Let's be real.

I mean, you can watch them.

There's like a movie of it.

You don't have to go to the theater.

You can watch the movie of Hamilton.

Well, okay.

I'll ask the audience then: what would you recommend for a first-time Hamilton viewer to watch it live or to just watch the movie?

Or there's always a third option, just skip both entirely.

I haven't watched it, so I can't comment.

No, oh, it is good.

Yeah, it's obviously you know, fascinating stuff.

Um, and I don't know, it's just it is good.

The songs are great.

Uh, I enjoyed it.

You know, you know, sorry, I did go away last this week, like

Easter break.

Well, like Easter break before easter yeah a pretty half term isn't it yeah yeah it's like it's like the easter half term right so the kids get two weeks off mrs f got back from japan uh yesterday um or the day before yesterday and we prior to her going off to japan um we had booked uh this break and we got this airbnb down in in hampshire on the coast in a place called hordal uh which is near new milton any uh new milton or hordelites hello um and i booked this cottage it was really beautiful and uh it was four bedrooms.

So the kids could have a room.

My sister who was going to come with us could have a room.

My mom would have a room and me and Mrs.

F would have a room.

And it had like a hot tub and it was really nice.

And it was like, this was my mom's holiday this year.

Because we always try to take on holiday once a year.

She's on her own.

She doesn't have much money.

So this is the thing that we try to do.

My sister couldn't go.

Mrs.

F couldn't go.

So it was just me, the kids, my mom, and the dog.

And it was, it was okay.

It was okay.

But looking after, I was basically the adult for the holiday, which was kind of annoying.

Having to look after the kids, having to look after my aging mum, having to look after the dog.

So it wasn't really a holiday.

No.

And, you know, there it is.

But Mrs.

F loved Japan, came, brought back, had to buy another bag to bring back all the presents she got for everybody and scouted ahead very effectively for our holiday that we're taking later this year to Japan.

Nice.

So she's like, oh, yeah, I know how to use this.

I know what to do.

That.

We're going to stay here.

We're going to do this.

We're going to do this, this, and this.

Well, man,

it's sounding more and more like a holiday now.

You got somebody who is going to take the lead in all the

so she's going to be the adult.

You could just, you could just get your mojito and just sit by the pool and everything else will get sorted out.

Perfect.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's what I'm hoping.

Nice.

You could just take the bin out and you know, just take that sounds bad.

You didn't just take the bin out once a week.

I'm glad she had a good time.

Yeah.

So what else has happened?

There's in

random news, they brought back some dire wolves

that had been extinct.

No, they didn't.

Yeah, they weren't Jurassic Park style bitches.

Apparently, this is

all the evidence in the world.

I will never believe that they brought back a dire wolf specifically or anything else.

Well, except

they have named them two males called Remus and Romulus and a female called Kaleesi.

Nice.

Okay.

Good grief.

Oh, yeah.

I saw, wasn't George R.R.

Martin like holding one of them or something?

Holding a direwolves?

Yeah, he had, there's a picture of him holding one of them.

That sounds like AI.

Why doesn't he get back to Wright?

Stop doing other shit.

That's like the.

He's on his break.

He's on break.

He just wants to cuddle direwolves and he just wants to live again.

Leave him alone.

Every picture of him enjoying himself doing something else.

People are, yeah, why don't you get back to Wright, you old figure?

Get back to Winter.

picture?

If you'd left Bodega on a, on a, like, if you'd done a Netflix bodega adaptation and you told everyone there was another one coming and you'd like, you know, released a sample chapter and then you'd left it for 13 years.

Well, I did release a sample chapter and

I haven't written anything since.

So well, man, why not?

You should never stop the gravy train, you know?

Like, you should keep it going and going and going.

Keep it flowing.

Keep it.

Well, I'll tell you what, it turns out it's very easy to write short stories.

Right.

Because you just have one idea and you explain it over like, I don't know, five, six, ten pages.

But when you have to write an entire novel, it's extremely hard because I've never done that before.

I've written short stories for years.

I've always written short stories, but I've never had to sit down and plan out a novel and actually have like a whole story arc and flesh shit out and have it make sense and read like an actual book.

So it was just an insurmountable problem for me, wasn't it?

So on that, there's two solutions.

One is

to,

well,

I guess there's three solutions.

The first one is to do what Stephen King does and just sort of write it and not give a fuck.

I think his process is very famously just free form, see where it goes.

And as a result, oftentimes it does, it goes mental.

And then some of his books have terrible endings or they don't make any sense, you know, or, or but he's always sort of universally acclaimed for that.

And it does feel like, in a sense, that that does give his books a sense of realism in some cases because, you know, the reality is not a typical story structure, right?

Of, you know, a problem,

you know, resolution, right, you know, happy ending.

Man, who was that guy that tweeted back at Stephen King one time and called him a nobody that nobody knows about or something?

Yeah, but that's a really famous tweet.

I love it when people do things like that, like on, like on the on the tariff.

Someone is like, if China doesn't want to buy our meat, buy our beef, let's just send it to India.

Right.

Not realizing that India is entirely

Hindu or Muslim.

And that as a result is a bit of an issue.

Yeah,

pretty dumb.

So

the what the other things that, oh, well, the other option, of course, is

just write it as a short story.

And then, you know,

that see, you know,

if you feel like it's got more legs, you can add more and add more to the back and front.

A lot of short stories do get developed into full novels.

Um, once the writer has finished them, I think a lot of that's how a lot of the sci-fi characters back in the day wrote their big novels.

It was they started with a short story and then they thought, well, we can make this, make this more or less.

Um, and so that's that's the way to do it.

So, so I guess just don't be scared.

Either way, if you've got a cool idea, start slapping it down or you know, get on contact with Charlie Brooke and we'll get we'll get you in the next uh season of Black Mirror.

Um, nice, yeah, or yeah, just I'll just call up Charlie.

Hi, Charlie, a friend of Lewis Brindley's here.

Um, I'm gonna be writing one of the episodes of Black Mirror this season.

I hope that's cool.

Just slam the phone down.

Is that the point?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You wrote Bodega, you know, that's got the Jack Black adaptation coming out.

Matt Berry might have to be Bodega actually.

No, we need we need a cowboy to play Bodega, not Matt Berry.

You could get Walton Goggins, uh, the guy who is

a great bodega, actually.

I don't know if he's old.

He is old enough.

He's old enough.

Yeah, he seems

scruffy sort of cowboy as well.

Yeah, he's 53.

He could absolutely do it.

I mean, he would basically be playing the ghoul from the Fallout show as the problem.

Yeah, which I mean, he played really well.

He did.

There you go.

That's got a lot of bodega energy in it.

Can I also say Walton Goggins?

Yeah.

God bless you, America, and your names.

Well done.

And he's kept it as well.

The The grandson of Mrs.

Goggins from Postman Pat, famously.

She raised a good.

What if we got him to play Pat in the Postman Pat movie?

Yeah.

That would be with Walton Goggins as Postman Pat.

Yeah.

Early chicken in the morning,

just when day's dawning.

Walton knows he's a real lucky fellow.

He's going to America on the fight.

Ted Glenn.

You scoundrel, you ripped me off.

Ted.

Ted's one of the guys in the Ted.

He is.

Postman Pat cast.

So you've got

Colvinder Gear,

Janet James, Carol Boyd, PC, Archie Punjabi, PC Sands, Angela Griffin.

You got, yeah, Ajay from, he's the train conductor, the Green Dale Rock.

Why is it saying that brian cox was in postman pat i think he probably did one of the voices oh they must have done new postman pat so i'm talking classic postman pat but he could have been around for the classics as well he's an old guy so a lad called ken bat ken barry he's dead now sadly rest in peace um he was the voice of postman pat yeah he's best known for postman pat there you go that's amazing yeah so uh all my kids have loved postman pat by the way really

Pat.

I'm just going to carry on with this news article.

You crack on.

Crack on.

Crack on.

Police officers have dressed up as Batman and Robin

to do a bizarre undercover sting.

So this is happening in London, basically on Westminster Bridge, where they're constantly running this cat and mouse game with these con artists who are preying on tourists, you know, with like the ball and cup scam and all this stuff.

There's tons of these little cup and like illegal.

But they're jealous that somebody else is preying on people, so they've got to catch, they've got to get in on the action.

So, one of them is going to dress as RoboPop next.

But they, they obviously, they obviously are so the local police and these guys are all so well aware of each other that the criminals basically were able to just recognize them immediately from afar and you know, quickly you know, move move into the crowds and disappear.

So, they dressed up in like Batman and Robin costumes to get the jump on them, which is

honestly

very creative.

And

one of the men who was arrested was called Costica Barbu, which I feel like was a family.

That's a Romanian name, I believe.

Costica Barbu.

And the next guy who was arrested was called Eugene Stoika or

Eugen Stoicher.

Well, when I looked for Costicu Barbu, it came up with Costco Barbecue.

Costco Barbecue.

Nice.

I actually bought my new barbecue last week.

Holy shit.

Went down to a garden center.

Our old barbecue

had run its course, and I bought an excellent barbecue that I can recommend.

It's a Vaber.

It's a Vaber.

Does it have a propane tank?

Or is it like...

No, I prefer Coles.

Yeah, I'm a coal guy myself.

So

delicious coal.

Exactly.

Tried it out.

You don't think you don't want to do a gas one?

I've done gas ones before, and obviously it is much easier.

and the only, I mean, sometimes you'll run out of gas and not know you have, and then you're like, fuck, we can't do a barbecue, we've got no gas.

Um, but you can always pop to the corner shop and get a bag of fire, fire, you know, barbecue coles.

Easy, yeah, um, you get the ones that come in the little bag that you just light the bag in.

Oh, god, so easy, right?

It's really so easy, yeah.

It's like a paraffin-treated cardboard, uh, a paper bag, sorry.

Yeah, it's just like you just light the corners, and bam, it's perfect.

It's really, really good.

Um, that's true, yeah.

So, really, really good.

Well, there you go, but the flavor you get from the having the actual flavor, yeah, I mean, weber, weber, the flavour,

I said flavour, yeah, what did I say?

Flavour from the vapor, from the weber, the vaber flavour is check out the flavor from my weber, it's incredibly

my wife enjoys the flavour, my wife likes the flavour

from my weber, my wife,

so sorry, Carrie, what were you saying about the flavour?

Why is that funny?

It's I've always found that someone just say my wife when someone says my wife.

It's so fucking dumb.

And Dave, I have some cakes belonging to you.

Those

those bag burning coals are great.

And also,

I wouldn't normally use these at home, but like certainly when we go to like, say, center parks or whatever, you got to use those disposable barbecues.

You know, they come with the,

they got like the little paper inside and it's like a it's got its own little metal grill and it's you know

uh have you seen those the disposable ones little disposable ones

i hate them too but

you got to use them uh at center parks because they're worried that people are just going to burn down the whole forest so right i mean those things do start quite a few fires you have to just use those ones but they're not bad yeah they're really easy

they do start a lot of fires.

Like a lot of the fires we have are because of people running a barbecue on like dry grass with one of those disposable ones and then it all fucking goes up and they're like, ah, big panic.

Also, I hate the fact that when you see it, people leave these black scorch marks on the ground where the barbecue was.

And it's like, well, great.

Now the grass, you've murdered that section of the grass and it's going to be a year before it gets back to normal.

Yeah.

Just for one fucking barbecue.

Why'd you do that?

Find a fucking bit of rocky ground and put it on there, which is basic fire safety anyway.

Don't just bosh it on that lovely living grass and fucking leave a scorch mark in my park.

Thank you very much.

I hate that.

And then just leave the whole fucking thing there anyway.

Yeah.

Animals.

Bunch of bitches.

There is a there is a

thing apparently called the stupid hackathon

where people had to make stupid things.

And

some guy designed

vape with a Tamagotchi inside it.

It dies if you stop puffing.

That is hilarious.

Oh my god.

I would love that.

Oh my God.

It's like who's going to die first?

You're in competition with your Tamagotchi.

It is, isn't it?

It's like you get survival of the fittest.

Your Tamagotchi.

It's like, Papa,

suck me.

I'm dying.

Jesus Christ.

But I also die every time I take a sock.

You have to die so I can live.

I'm dying.

It's coming close.

I'm almost dead.

Is this the Boston Stupid Hackathon?

Is that what this is?

Have you seen their website?

Their website is like 2002 era internet website.

This is really amazing.

I love that.

Oh, my God.

It's so basic.

I love it.

Yeah.

There's no pop-up shit.

There's no, you're browsing it, and just as you scroll down, a fucking thing pops up asking you to subscribe to the news.

news.

Old underline italics, uh, hyperlinks,

yeah, it's perfect.

Hell yeah, there's no uh cookies to accept, you just bosh in here.

Oh, god, I love this.

It's good, isn't it?

Well, there you go.

I think, I think that's enough, actually, today.

We've done it,

we've covered everything very nicely.

Okay, fine, and uh, yeah, good one, and and so thank you for joining us, everyone.

We'll see you all next time.

Goodbye, goodbye.