Triforce #310: Are you Smarter than a 15 Year Old?!

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Hello, everyone, and welcome back

to the Triforce podcast this week, in which Sips has replaced his hard drive.

I got huge news, actually.

You'll never guess what.

Besides my hard drive being replaced,

I've been served a summons for jury duty.

Okay.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, I've never done jury duty before.

I don't intend to do it ever either.

So I'm going to try to wiggle out of it.

Okay.

But I have been summoned.

And apparently, if I don't turn up, I have to go through the proper channels to try to get out of it.

But if I don't turn up, I'll be fined.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Why would you get out of it?

I don't want to do that.

Yeah, but nobody wants to do it.

Well, that's why I'm going to try to get out of it.

You've got no excuse.

Is it the classic thing where you go?

Is it the classic thing where you go there and

you're slightly racist or whatever when they ask you, you know, do you have any,

you know, and they dismiss you for being

inappropriate?

You know, I think all immigrants should go back to where they came from.

I don't want to go out like that.

Jersey for the Jersey people.

I don't want to go out that way.

I want to just come up with like a technicality, you know, like

my lumbago is flaring up or

a major cause of a lumpy.

Are you sure you want to announce in public that you're going to fabricate a reason not to do jury duty?

Oh, yeah, well, stuff now.

I'm I could just be saying that.

I might even be lying about jury duty.

Who knows?

That's true.

Yeah,

wow, you're right.

I just have a lot of interesting things to say, so I

just invented this.

You might enjoy it, you might enjoy flexing your

democratic rights and you know being being a good citizen yeah um helping society that's what it is right um it's a civil duty i assume it's a it's a trial on jersey well yeah i mean so it what what could it possibly

hope so i mean like stolen some milk or

brushed past someone and didn't apologize like it's jersey it's financial crime there's been a couple of there's been some some financial crime fraud there's a there's there's drug-related crime here there's been a couple of murders oh wow There was a big one in the news quite a few years ago where man crime crime.

His whole family.

Island.

There were 3,081 crimes reported in Jersey in 2021.

It's a lot of stolen milk.

That's a lot of crimes.

Yeah, well, I mean, it's a place.

Okay.

Googled up.

Jersey Legal.

uh information board okay on the 13th of december 2024 we sentenced pedro nunio Rodriguez-Carres, rodriguez

the defendant, for a number of motoring offences, including drunkenly driving through St.

Helier at excessive speed, during which crashed into a stationary car, seriously injuring the driver.

He ran from the scene, failed to stop and report what had occurred.

There you go.

Yeah.

So the stuff like that's happening.

There's a multitude of things like that.

It's no different than any other place.

It's a small place.

with a smaller population than most places, but has its fair share of crime.

Wait,

I got a question.

I've got a question.

Sips, this is an old Sips meme.

Okay.

But what was it?

Didn't you say you were going to name your son Poopfart420 or something like that?

No, that says Lewis referred to him as Poop Feast420, which is

420.

It's an old StarCraft meme, yeah.

So here is from four years ago,

a post on the R/slash Jersey subreddit by someone called Poopfart420.

And they say, is Jersey dangerous?

What is the rate of violent crime in Jersey, such as muggings and assaults?

I may be going there once COVID is over.

Is it safe to walk at night?

And everybody's like, yes.

They should have said no.

That doesn't sound like the kind of person we want over here.

They spell assaults wrong as well.

Well, there you go.

Aswaltz.

Aswaltz.

I just think it's a funny coincidence that Poopfeast 420 and Poop Fart 420.

Poop Fart 420.

Oh, so I wrote a jingle

for today.

What?

Is it about my jury summons?

No, it's a simple intro song for the podcast.

I do these

when I can be bothered.

This is not AI generated.

This is

generated by Flax.

I did this mucking about with a free website

called,

what's it called?

Oh, I can't remember.

Yeah, I can't remember.

Anyway, it was like something to do with Roland, who make synthesizers.

Oh, yeah.

And it's just a little

thing.

I did it on a Destiny, and then I recorded a vocal line and I mixed it.

It's terrible.

I'm going to pop it in Discord.

It's called Intro One.

It's a catchy name.

So you recorded it.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'm ready to play.

We ready to play?

Louis, you ready?

Mm-hmm.

All right.

Three, two, one, play.

Did you make this?

Yeah.

Who's saying that Triforce?

Or is that just you?

You are insane.

What have you made here?

Okay.

I love that.

I like the that.

I love that.

It's like Miami sound machine, 1980s.

It's got that

old school Roland style syndrome.

I got to listen to this again.

It's like an alien.

It's like an alien voice.

I know.

It's like aliens are listening to, making their own podcast.

What did you use to loop this?

Did you use like

fruity loops or like

I want you to Google, I'll pop a link to it in chat.

So it's called Roland 50 Studio.

Right.

And that's basically the default music you get on it.

So

I added some bits, adjusted some bits, and then I did the vocal track.

But if you click start on the left.

Oh, I see.

It's basically what you've got going.

But then you added some beeps and boops.

You alienized your voice.

You pressed start.

And I changed the baseline and alienized my voice and mucked about with it a bit.

See, I think the baseline is what makes it.

I think you adding the baseline to this is incredible.

Oh,

thank you.

That's so good.

Oh, bless you.

Oh, I love this.

I know you're a talented man.

I think this should just be the intro to this.

When I first heard it, and I was like,

I don't understand the alien angle, but I think it works now.

I think we need more aliens in the

podcast.

Triforce.

Podcast.

I love the

it's really good.

Well done.

Thank you.

Well, I'll make I'll try and make a new one every week.

I don't think you'll be able to top this one.

Oh, well, we'll see.

True, you can make a whole album, actually, would be really good.

Just 20-second intro jingles.

Yeah, why not?

Why not?

Well, there you go.

That's a

non-alieneration.studio.

Yeah,

well done.

Computer-controlled rhythm composer TR-808.

That's amazing.

I can't believe how much music has been made with these things.

Like

the MPX, the sampling machine and stuff.

Like it is

staggering the stuff that people have been able to do with these.

So here's a question for you, right?

And I think

this is a bit of an odd one.

But if you think about music,

traditionally, you had to learn how to play an instrument properly in order to be able to make music.

And I mean, you had to learn, we've definitely spoken about this before, the guitar or the trumpet or the the drums that requires someone to buy that piece of equipment and if you want to make music you have to get in a band so you have to get with other musicians you have to write the music you have to convince them to come along if you have a keyboard and a drum machine and some samples you alone can make whatever song you want and if you look at all these big-time djs and you know um edm like producers uh it's like one guy sometimes it's two guys but you don't need like a band you can just do this by yourself You can fuck around in your bedroom for years trying to get to grips with it and then figure it out.

And you don't have to perform on stage even.

Not even just

play.

Hours.

The bounds to

doing stuff has changed, right?

If you want to make a basket out of little sticks, right?

There's tutorials now on YouTube where you can do it.

You don't have to find a teacher.

You don't have to go to a library and get some sort of book and try and decipher it.

Or this knowledge doesn't have to be passed on in a physical way, right?

Even before, when there was, you know, I mean, you would be able to like record stuff in the 80s on television, you know, in the middle of the night, open university stuff to learn how to do stuff, right?

But

nowadays, if it's not maybe made

for you, like this online music stuff, you can absolutely pick up skills quickly and easily.

You'd be surprised how simple some of it is, like making your own kimchi.

Apparently, everyone's doing that now.

It's like a pickled veg.

cabbage.

It's like source.

Oh, my God.

Why would you want to make that?

It's so good, dude.

It's really good.

It's not just pickled.

It's got this seasoning.

So it's like spicy.

Kimchi is amazing.

Really, really amazing.

I hear the word cabbage and I'm out.

Trust me.

Trust me.

If you tried kimchi, you'd either love it or you'd be like, oh, this is so good.

It's so good, dude.

We'll go and get some Korean picnic.

Like, grandma used to boil.

She used to come around sometimes and boil cabbage.

Yeah.

And it just smelled like she was boiling up gym socks.

like it does it is a smelly it cooking

why she used to do it i have no idea but it's stunning it's really tasty you put some butter and pepper on there oh my god my friend went away uh for a week and they just changed these jars

they should have got to prison honestly because uh they left me all these jars of kimchi that i had to burp every day and so you open these things and some of them are absolutely like the whole place my whole flat now stinks of like kind of kimchi farts like like cabbage

It does.

That's why they have in Korea they have these kimchi fridges, especially for you to put your kimchi away from.

Who lumbered you with this task?

Well,

it's

well, I mean, even Kirstie does it.

I was chatting to people on Discord, but it's a lot of people making their own kimchi, making their own stuff, because it's so

easy to do, right?

You just follow a little tutorial and

to get you to have to burp this for the whole fucking time they're in.

Well, apparently, if you don't do it, they could shatter.

Right, no doubt.

But then

you make the kimchi after you get back.

What's happening in there?

What kind of reaction is happening in there?

Fermentation, fucking hell.

Yeah, it's it's it's like um, I don't know, yeah, but I did see a picture of someone's jar that had shattered, so they were like, This can happen, right?

I was like, Oh, okay, well, sure, it's not going to be like exploding.

It's just like it's like you know, it's like you put something in the freezer and it bursts.

Um, we've all done that before, I'm sure.

So, I'm looking through these boring cases and jersey, and a lot of them are boring.

Yes,

um, a lot of them are like kind of people arguing about stuff, like four people who are arguing about a will,

their grandfather or father died, and and one of them thought that he'd said, I want you to have it, and the other three are like, well, we, you know, that's not what the will says, and so they go to court and eventually come with some agreement.

There's like, um,

lots of lots of driving stuff, lots of employment tribunal discrimination cases that kind of thing yes people are people are mean to each other and and see on television that you could just ah you're fired that's not really how it works you can't do that so there's a lot of a lot of that going on um yeah interesting and i just just people scamming as well it's not as much financial crime as i would have thought on jersey you know well it's because it's all legal over there mate that's why oh i see

youth court yeah so who knows it'll be interesting uh sips and um you won't be able to talk about it though.

No, I'm not allowed to talk about it.

I just thought afterwards though, you can, can't you?

Well, I don't know.

I don't know.

Maybe.

I don't know.

I'll Google it.

Can you talk about

this?

UK.

After the trial.

Oh, do not discuss the trial with anyone until it's finished, except with other jury members.

After the trial, you must not talk about what happened in the deliberation room.

Why not?

Even with family members, but you can talk about what happened in the courtroom so they so you go to jury duty and then you just have this secret that you have to keep from everyone for life only about what happened in the deliberation room yeah but still like i'm a very open transparent person i like to talk about everything um

and then they're not gonna know

off limits right so i mean let's say i'm sure you could talk to your wife about it i'm just saying you know don't publicize it it's essentially what they're saying don't go on social media and say can't believe juro 18 thought he was innocent you know it's like that kind of shit right You know what?

That way, because that way people can speak freely in there, free from some public repercussion later, because essentially justice should be blind.

And what happens in that deliberation room, we shouldn't, you know, have some, some outside influence on it.

And knowing that the things you say in there might later come out, I guess, would put a lot of people off.

Right.

Speaking honestly.

So, you know, I think maybe just don't talk about what happens in the deliberation room with anyone.

But obviously, you know, everyone says, Oh, I won't tell a soul, but of course, you tell your partner, that's just the way it goes.

Yeah, but you remember, you can your partner can't be charged with the same crime, no worries.

You can't double jeopardy, baby.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What do you mean, double jeopardy?

What is that?

I just wanted to say it.

It's not, it's not nothing to do with it.

It's just it's one of those ones, you know, like that always comes up in movies.

They're always like,

Yeah, let's see you try double jeopardy, baby.

I'm sure somebody has said double jeopardy, baby at one point.

I'm gonna google double.

I'm using Google a lot today.

Double Jeopardy, baby.

Double Jeopardy, baby.

Uh, that is a freestyle on SoundCloud.

Oh, there you go.

Double.

You can't be

charged twice for the same crime, right?

Or

but yeah, I think the idea is that a husband isn't supposed to be forced to testify against their spouse.

Yeah, I don't think you can do that.

Because you'd be in more trouble when you got back home, regardless of what they're doing.

It's quite a conflict of interest anyway, there, I imagine.

Yeah.

So what else have you guys been up to?

Anything fun?

Anything you're doing?

I've been still playing a lot of Path of Exile 2.

I'm really addicted to it and enjoying it.

And it's been nice.

It's been nice to get really stuck into something.

I'm working on my third character.

I've got two characters that are level 93-ish.

Because from 93 to 100, it takes a long time to level up.

So most people kind of say, if you get a character to 93, it's like done, you know?

Okay.

Just keep gearing up or whatever.

That's when you, that's.

I, I, I went to that.

Sounds like a real pain, uh, which is a movie I went and saw at the cinema yesterday.

Well, it's called A Real Pain.

Yeah, it's good.

It's got Kieran Kulkin in it.

Oh, he's brilliant, honestly.

Oh, he's good in

succession.

Succession.

He is good.

Yeah, he was really nice in that.

It's really good in the movie.

I really like the part where he was jacking off

on the top floor of the building right in front of the window.

Yes.

He jacked off onto the window.

Really good moment.

But no, it's basically about these two cousins who go to on a tour of Poland to look through their family history kind of thing.

And man, it's just a really great movie.

I really enjoyed it.

I saw it in the Watershed in Bristol, which is like this harbour side cinema.

Yeah.

No, cinemas have chilled out a lot now.

You can just bring drinks in and everyone's

no, no.

Well, no, you don't.

Cinemas have not.

Good cinemas have.

Sorry, good cinemas.

Because we're talking like your everyman's in your independence, like the Prince Charles.

Yeah, you're talking.

I'm talking good theaters.

Reasonable

places.

Nice thoughts.

Yeah, not the fucking multi-boxes, which are shit.

And frankly, I think they should fuck off.

Get rid of them.

Well,

you don't need to hope for much longer because it seems like they're all on their way out now.

It is not popular to go out to see movies anymore.

The people that you have to sit around when you're in those movies are worse than ever.

Post-COVID, worse.

The problem is, as well, with a lot of these big chains, is

they require profits to go up and up and up and up and up and up.

So as soon as interest starts dying out, it's very difficult for them to do that.

And then they're done.

Like

they're done very quickly as well, actually.

So if you really hate all of those big theater chains, stop going.

They will pack up

really quickly.

They will.

I can't remember the last time I went to the middle.

But they occupy a tremendous

amount of space.

And they were good.

The buildings are huge.

Yeah, but they're just terrible.

And hard to repurpose into anything else.

Like, I will miss, in some sense, going to the cinema and having that great cinema experience with a big screen and the sound, but I can't honestly remember the last time I went to a big multiplex theater and had a really good time.

Like, I always felt like the people around me are on their phones or talking or getting up and walking around.

or just fucking yelling at each other in the middle of the theater.

It's awful.

The last time I went to a really

big theater on opening night for something and it was fun was terminator 2 judgment day

it was 1990 i know i was 10 years old my dad took me to see it it was like 11 o'clock at night it was it was summer everybody was like sweating but like so looking forward to seeing this movie and the movie was awesome it was so good I thought Avengers Endgame, that was great on the big screen.

Oppenheimer at the IMAX, that was really something.

But it was three and a half hours long, so it was kind of a pain in the ass, literally.

So those are exceptional.

Barbie was fun because it was a fun movie where I didn't care that people were laughing and kind of joining in and yelling stupid stuff out because it was like it's like a party movie.

It's a fun, silly movie, and everyone's having a great time.

But when you go to watch a movie that you really want to see, why am I sitting with these fucking people?

That's the question I've got to ask myself.

I can watch this at home in like two months.

These people are all terrible.

I want to watch a film with total silence.

I took my kids to see Transformers 1.

Like, you know, like they do like, you know, movies for kids or whatever.

They bring movies back.

Like, we went to see like the Iron Giant one time.

They brought it back.

But the Transformers 1, they did it.

It was

like Sunday at like noon.

And we were the only people in the theater.

There's no one there.

And it's discounted as well.

It was like two quid a ticket.

Amazing.

And there was nobody there.

So even, even like

at a massive discount, nobody wants to go.

Yeah.

It feels like.

Or maybe it was just the movie.

But the movie was actually pretty good.

Like I was expecting it to be really bad, but it was all right.

My kids liked it, but there was nobody else in the theater.

It was just me, my wife, and

my two older kids.

Yeah.

I think it was that hot.

It just had a good vibe, the cinema.

I think it was because it's a funny movie and people were laughing away.

And I don't know.

It was just, it was nice.

There were like little ripples of chuckles.

I think it was a good movie.

And it was...

It was nicely packed full of people at a nice time.

I don't know, just it was a really nice cinema experience.

I hadn't had it for a while, and I just wanted to share that I enjoyed it.

So, nice.

I've been building some Lego.

I've been building, I've been working on my little Lego city like a massive nerd.

I don't know when it happened that I started.

I think it was like this weird gradual process where people bought me Lego and then other people saw the Lego and thought I was into Lego, and now I've got too much Lego everywhere.

But I'm still finding it quite therapeutic, just

putting some blocks together.

Doing some Legos.

Have you played that game I shared with you yet, Sips?

The one I got you for Christmas, the little Where's Wally murder game?

No, we haven't had a chance yet, but

it's on the cards for sure.

Everybody's called Micro Macro.

Yeah, it's a lovely game.

It's really funny.

It's like a little game where you it's like got basically especially like a big you work together to to solve mysteries full of little yeah little where's wally style things and you're kind of like everyone's like searching on the map and sort of you see this guy coming out of a a um a a a shop wearing a clown costume or whatever and he goes on to stab someone and you sort of try and track him through the city it's really cleverly made and yeah um yeah just a fun family game it's nice to find a game that you can play with anyone you know like my parents came over and we played it for a bit and it just i don't know it's like um it's good to find

things for sure really fun what else have we been doing not too much i i um i did i tell you i went to the house viewing yeah

well it yeah you told us it did we very specifically anti-shouted out the uh estate agent yeah that's right yeah he gave it uh It wasn't really a big ups.

It was more like a big down.

A big upside down.

Can I give a big up this week?

I was asked to do this.

Oh, sure.

To my friend Ali, who I played dote with a lot.

Big ups to you.

Thank you.

Right.

Carry on.

Oh, that's it.

That's it.

No more to say that.

There was no more

subject.

It's done.

Get well soon.

Get well soon.

Okay.

All right.

He's got a cult.

Oh, no.

He'll be okay.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

Well, big ups to

all of the

people that we don't big ups to.

Do you guys want to hear an update about how things are going with my house work?

Yeah, I got it.

Wow.

This is real mundane stuff.

Yeah, it is.

We got the plasters in now.

Wow.

And

we had to reboard a couple of ceilings.

So they're in plastering, said ceilings now.

And next week we got the builder back in to lay some floors and do some new skirtings in two rooms.

Okay.

That's it.

That's all I got.

Have we really done that little this week?

It's been a slow week.

It's the new year.

You know, it's January.

Everybody comes out of like the end of Christmas.

They're like, shit, yeah, I'm going to exercise and stuff like that.

And then they do it for like a week, and now everybody's in the dumps.

You know, they're talking about Blue Monday last week.

And

yeah, everybody's just feeling, you know, it's winter.

It's cold as shit.

It's miserable out there.

It's fucking raining like every day.

There's nothing to do.

So

what's been happening in the real world is kind of yeah

i'm sure it has a lot of people

tired of yeah tired of the the circus i'm trying now not to do have anything to do with it i'm not clicking on articles or reading anything about it i'm just completely trying to ignore it now i don't want any i don't want to contribute to any metrics where anybody might be under the false assumption that i give a shit like i really don't want to feed into it at all yeah it sounds it's so annoying.

Geez, I was going to say the most boring thing imaginable.

Yeah, come on.

I'm ready.

I'm ready.

What is the

worse than my house update?

None of us have done anything interesting.

Tell you guys what I had for dinner last night.

Talk about the weather for a bit.

And then.

Tell us about your dinner.

Fuck me.

Oh, no.

Tell us what you've done.

This is.

What is happening?

I'm on the edge of my seat here.

I think we're all just, we all just had a really quiet start to the year.

I was chandy with me.

It's going to be bread and water.

Wait for it.

So my to so Mrs.

F did beef bourguignon in the slow cooker.

Okay.

Oh, that's well.

It was really good.

She got up at 6 a.m.

to get it going.

Yeah.

And then she got ready for work and all the rest of it.

So I got up at seven because she kind of woke me up.

And I could already smell it permeating the house.

And all day you could smell this beautiful beef bourguignon bourguignon all throughout the house.

And then we had it with the basmati rice because it soaks up the gravy.

It was fabulous.

It was so, so, so good.

Everybody absolutely cleaned their plate.

And we were watching our favorite TV show at the moment, which is Pop Culture Jeopardy, which is on Prime, hosted by Colin Jost.

Right.

And it's Jeopardy, but the questions are all like stupid pop culture shit.

So it's really fun and easy.

You can watch it with the kids because there's questions about YouTube and TikTok and games and movies that they've seen and stuff.

Sure.

Instead of just being the capital of which state rhymes with paedophile, you know, that kind of thing.

Right.

So it's just adjusted.

What is that?

What's the answer to that one?

I don't know.

Well, yeah, that's I didn't get that one.

Medophile, Arizona.

Correct.

I guess I'll give some, I can always think of something to yap about.

But so I've been on Sertraline for, let me see, two months.

Right.

Coming up on the end of two months.

And I'm about to run out of tablets, which means I will have finished my course.

And I've got one tablet left.

And then I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow.

And we're going to talk about getting, you know, keeping me on it.

Cause once you're on it, you've got to stay on it for a while.

And I think they need to up the dose because I've noticed as I've worked my way through the course that it's having less effect and I'm starting to feel kind of shitty again.

So I will say, if you are on or thinking of taking or might be prescribed Sertraline, it's a bit of a roller coaster initially, but it did help me greatly and I recommend it.

Someone said to me, I think it was in Twitch chat, they said that the NHS is default setting for someone's either panicky, depressed, overly worried, whatever it is, surtrilline.

It's like your go-to prescription for anything brain related that your GP just like rubber stamps it, out you go.

So that's that.

But in other medical news, my daughter uh had to get a blood test, and they don't do it at our GP because she's still a child.

So we had to take her to a nearby hospital.

Um, she brought her girlfriend with her because she was super nervous, um, and didn't want me in the room because she was like, she just wanted to be her thing.

Right.

She goes in there, and the nurse was like, Well, look, I'm sorry, you're gonna have to come in because they're underage.

I was like, Fair enough.

So I stood with my back to the procedure

because she was just like, the last time that we had

an injection was when we got her jabs for her vaccinations and stuff.

And she was so scared of the needles.

I was there holding her hand and it was kind of a traumatic experience for her.

So I think she wanted to not see my face again when she was getting jabbed in the arm.

But it was over before she knew it.

And she was like, wow, what was I worried about?

I was like, exactly.

Like the GP said to us, look, if you've fallen and scratch your knee, it's way worse.

But we talked about it a bit.

And if you imagine it, if I said to you that some at some point today, you might fall over and scratch your knee, that's not too bad.

But if I came at you with something and said i'm gonna scratch your knee up as if you've fallen over for some reason that would be scarier and hurt more like the anticipation of i am about to do this painful thing to you that got in her brain and she sort of could couldn't shake that off um but uh yeah it turns out vitamin d deficient just like her old man so we're gonna go and get some some supplements well we all are everyone's vitamin d deficient yeah but she's she's like like me severely um because we're just fucking gamers like we just stay inside and fucking play video games all day so yeah yeah she she's a degenerate like me, unfortunately.

Everyone should be having vitamin D in the UK between November and February because there's no, you don't get it outside.

The sun's too low in the sky.

Yeah.

You just don't get any vitamin D in that period of time.

And so everyone should be supplementing, right?

And so it's, it's, that's, that's normal, right?

That's not just you.

Um, but other things do sort of help the uptake of it.

Yeah.

There are certain foods you can eat which, which will help you get, actually get it into you because it's not, it's not just about taking it.

it's about um like finding ways to actually get it into your system and certain certain other things like green vegetables help boost that that um uptake and stuff so indeed eat your greens as well that's another thing definitely got to do that um so i mean

good luck to you with this p flex um with what hope it uh well it's it's a it's a bit of a frightening idea that your

your i guess endurance was it called are you doing a big up no you've obviously you're taking this this you're getting your body's getting used to to it.

Your tolerance your tolerance is increasing.

Well, you mean some the search talent?

Oh, right, right, right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which I guess I don't know anything about it.

Um, a friend of mine was prescribed it for

a short period of time as like a crisis thing, and they were kind of better afterwards.

Um, I don't think you're supposed to take it for the rest of your life, probably.

No, it's generally, I think it's, it's certainly, I think about a year is what I've heard is that people are on it for some time.

And then coming off it again is quite difficult.

But hopefully, you've fixed the things in your life that are giving you anxiety.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

Yes, it's a, it's a pretty crazy thing.

Um, another bit of news: TI this year, the international in DoteFans is going to be in Hamburg.

Wow.

Okay, nice.

Yeah, which is so it's in Europe again, which is, I don't know that they've ever done that other than have it in America multiple times.

So it was in Germany for the first one, then it was in Seattle, and then it started traveling around the world.

I know you were always like different.

I hope so.

I have no idea.

Oh, they've been outside.

Where's the key arena supposed to be fixed?

Holland.

When's the climate pledge arena supposed to be fixed?

It's fixed.

Oh, why are they not doing it there?

They did it there.

They did it there, but then they went back to moving around.

Oh.

So the one at Climate Pledge,

what a stadium.

Holy shit.

It's unbelievably fancy.

It's

right next to Valve's office.

Well,

doing it there.

Sort of right next to Valve.

You can see it from Valve's office.

No.

I was there.

No.

I mean, unless you're saying, like, it's over there next to the...

Like, it's not next to.

Maybe it's visible because Valve's offices are very high up.

Yeah.

But I mean, it's not streets away.

It's like the other side of Seattle from Bellevue.

It's not like next to it.

Yeah.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

All right.

I'm thinking of some, I must be thinking of the something else near it.

All right, never mind.

But yes, no, it's also near the Space Needle.

But yes, it's like literally they don't need to travel.

When we went to the Space Needle, Lewis, remember we went to that Nirvana museum and they had the Marvel Museum?

That was all like in and around there.

And then when we went to Jim

Chihuli's dildo

emporium, that was the friend of the podcast.

Jim Chihuli.

Jim Chihuli.

What a lad.

I know.

I got a.

Lewis, I don't know where you went.

Was it Florida?

You got a mini Jim Chihuly.

It's in my bathroom right now.

I look at it every time I piss.

And you pop it up.

I think Jim would have liked that.

I think Jim would have liked it.

I helped the flow, you know.

It's slow.

I think he'd like that.

I think he'd like that.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

He's probably spinning in his grave right now.

Is he dead?

No.

Oh, but that's just how he spends his time.

Yeah, he just spins in his grave.

I didn't think the pain from the shingles rash would affect simple, everyday tasks like bathing, getting dressed, or even walking around.

I was wrong.

Though not everyone at risk will develop it, 99% of people over the age of 50 already have the virus that causes shingles, and it could reactivate at any time.

I developed it, and the blistering rash lasted for weeks.

Don't learn the hard way.

Like I did.

Talk to your doctor or pharmacist today.

Sponsored by GSK.

I don't know.

Did I tell you about the

if you're going to say the estate agent?

Yes.

The incident that happened when I was on holiday with my partner over New Year.

She had

an incident happened.

Are you allowed to tell us?

I don't know.

Maybe.

It's criminal in nature.

You judge.

Was she arrested?

No.

I've been watching a lot of 24 hours in police custody.

Yeah, baby.

What a shot.

Oh, my God.

Have you watched it recently?

Yeah, I've watched them all.

Did you see the two old ladies who were importing cannabis?

They were just getting packages of it from america and they're like i don't know

what do you mean wait did one come out last night uh no this one was on on tuesday monday maybe no i don't think i've seen this one this week's one because it's back it's been back yeah yeah i saw the one in norfolk about the guy they find him with fucking crystal magic oh fuck me the guy with the cock rings the big bag of cock that guy was

something weird guy he was so fucking weird what a character great episode so all right so there's one to watch fantastic we'll watch that okay lewis tell us about your 24 hours in police custody.

Go.

So

we were out fairly remote in the countryside in this Airbnb.

And I was outside eating my breakfast, which was a plate of crisps

from yesterday.

Sounds like a dream.

And I started hearing.

You rub it on a plate.

Why did you put him on a plate?

Well, I was.

What a gentleman.

What a true gentleman.

I was outside.

I'm having crisps for breakfast, but one must still maintain standards.

And I start hearing this kind of

like kind of moaning or groaning.

And I was like, what's going on?

And then I hear like my name being shouted.

So I've rushed inside.

Yeah, I mean, hearing my name being shouted, I'm not there.

Like that.

Yeah, well, no, more like, more like in sort of, in like short, painful.

More like, yes.

There it is.

Like that.

Exactly.

Okay.

And so I rushed inside and I found my partner who was

lying on the bathroom floor.

Oh, shit.

Like covered in sweat.

Like,

like, so, like, and it wasn't, it was like kind of cold in there.

Oof.

And, like, like, head to toe in sweat, like lying on the floor.

Food poisoning?

Like, cozy.

Was your boyfriend in there, too?

Was it food poisoning?

It must have been.

No, so it was, it was period pain.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

Sorry.

I know we're joking around, but that's all.

But I was like, sort of, you know,

immediately like kind of shocked.

And I was like, I was like trying to, trying to get her in a more comfortable position or help her

get a cushion or like try and get some like,

try to figure out what she needed from me.

But she was just in absolute agony.

Like, I'd never

seen any, had experienced it before.

And I know, so I'm, I'm on my, so immediately I'm like, is this, you know, because she reassured me, like, I was like what's going on you know do I need to call ambulance

doctor and she's like I don't know

I was like what do you think it is and she's like I think it's I think it's I know I know it's period and

it could be like endometriosis or something like that well this is what I said so I said I can I'm gonna call call the doctor and she was like uh don't just let's give it give it a minute you know I don't think she wanted to call anyone so we ended up sitting there for like I'd say half an hour and it was it was it went in like, it was like these sort of waves of pain, and it was so bad.

It was like the, it was like the worst I'd ever, it was like she was giving birth or something kind of like that.

I mean, contractions kind of work like that, too.

And so I just wanted to shout out to all women who've had to experience this.

It's horrible.

Um, it was absolutely crazy.

Oh man, that sucks.

Has that idea happened to her before?

She said it had never happened that bad

before, but it was absolutely debilitating.

And after sort of half an hour, because I was obviously on my phone, I was looking at what it could be.

I was like looking at sort of, you know, things.

TikToks and just chilling out.

Well, after like, after like sort of half, half an hour, I was, and it didn't seem to show any sign of abating.

I was like, I really should have rung someone half an hour ago kind of thing.

I was feeling like, fuck.

And then eventually it sort of started to get better.

And I managed to sort of

get her into the, get her into bed instead and get her to have some lipoprofen and stuff because initially.

Can I just say, thank fuck thank god i'm not a woman oh oh

that but it was it was so imagine you just suddenly had like

huge dick pains like

like out of nowhere all of a sudden

every month you just wouldn't be able to cope with it i watched a video where they get this electronic device have you seen this thing it's like a pain um device you put it on certain parts of your abdomen and it simulates period pain and you like turn it a dial and women are like women will try it on and be be like, Oh, yeah, didn't they?

Didn't they?

That's what it feels like.

Then they get their boyfriends or husbands to do it.

And they're like, Oh, turn it off.

It's like, that's on two out of ten, you pussy.

I see a video of this.

They had like this big, it was like this big burly firefighter, and they're like, Here, we're gonna try this on you and see what you think.

And he's like, Okay, yeah, sure.

Yeah, strap it on, no problem.

Yeah, jack it up to 10, no problem.

He's like,

Get it off, get it off, please.

So,

the instinct of men is to say,

I think they're exaggerating.

Yeah.

Right.

Because, you know, you think, well, how bad could it be?

It's bad.

It could be really fucking bad.

So, yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, it was absolutely.

I hope she's all right.

It was obviously, and I was looking up other people who have this sort of similar experience where they just can't fucking go into work.

Do you know what I mean?

They can't, like, they cannot stand up.

It is that bad.

And it is like kind of crazy, really.

So anyway, we got back, and she's what reminded me of it's because she's gone for a blood test today about it, but also got some

methanamic acid or something, which is like a kind of iprofen, like a stronger anti-inflammatory.

I think blood test is definitely the way to go because it picks up so much stuff, you know, like it's such a blood test.

Pretty amazing.

Good, good, early sort of indicator.

You know, there's levels of certain things they can check or whatever.

They can, you know, check your cholesterol and all that as well.

Yeah, I think that's, I think that's a good shout, especially if it's not something that's happened to you before, you know, like any, anything like that suddenly changes.

They always say this about like for some forms of cancer and stuff like that, you know, like if you're, if your bathroom,

you know, whatever, like you, if you, you know, if you start pooping differently or peeing differently, anything like that, you got to go in and get checked out.

And usually they'll just do, you know, blood tests and, and then further on from that, all the other stuff, like MRIs and like that but this is how you get in early they can find it and then

this is sometimes how people end up dying a bit early as well it's just they just they didn't think something was it's it's definitely an older uh it's nothing kind of like well and sometimes a lot of people a lot of people don't want to have that don't want to it's very easy for you to to say oh i'm not gonna i don't want to make a fuss or i'm not gonna worry about it or like i don't want to worry about it it's probably nothing let's just dismiss it um but i think there's usually a tipping point though where someone is like okay this was weird I should really, this is, this is really out of all the ordinary.

Sometimes something weird happens and you're like, ah, maybe I just ate some beetroot or whatever.

But no, watch out.

It's usually not just eating beetroot.

Okay.

If you're out there and you're thinking, oh, it's probably that beetroot, it's probably not the beetroot.

Like lots of people,

tons of people eat beetroot every day and there's nothing wrong with them.

Okay.

So don't, I just hate when people blame Beatroot.

Do you guys want

a little mini quiz?

Beatroot is not impressed.

Beatroot needs all the help it can get, honestly.

We're fucking.

Yeah, we're fucking dying here.

We're drowning.

You want a quiz?

If we ate more beatroot, I think we'd probably be healthier.

Let's go to Fight Smith.

So this is Mrs.

S Company Christmas do.

They do a quiz, like a pub quiz.

There's a lot of queasy.

That's a lot of this quiz.

No problem.

Well, this is tough.

All right.

So this is found in translation.

That's the name of the round.

Uh, so these are film titles, uh, and the translation into other languages.

You have to tell me which film it was.

Okay, oh, for example, in Danish, which 1971 Gene Wilder film is known as The Boy Who Drowned in Chocolate?

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Yeah, it's actually, it's actually Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

They didn't call it Charlie and Chocolate Factory.

They called it Willy Wonka.

Yeah, it's Willy Wonka from the Chocolate Factory.

In French, what 1990 Catherine O'Hara film is known as Mum, I missed the Plane?

Come along.

Yeah.

In French, in French, which 1975 Roy Schneider film is known as The Teeth of the Sea?

Oh.

The Abyss.

1975.

In Hebrew, what 1986 Val Kilmer film is known as Love in the Skies?

Top gun.

It is.

Top gun.

Hold away.

These are so funny.

Yeah, they're so good.

In Chinese, which 2013 Jennifer Lawrence film is known as United States Cheat Bureau?

Oh,

I mean, I immediately think Hunger Games.

I don't think Jennifer Lauren.

Oh, yeah, it could be Hunger Games, right?

What else is Jennifer Games?

United States Cheat Bureau.

Yeah.

Bear in mind that

these are not the main actors in these films.

But they're quite specifically chosen another, otherwise it's too obvious.

2013?

What the hell?

Yeah, Jennifer Lawrence is in a 2013 film.

Very good movie.

Oh, is it American Hustle?

Yes.

Well,

I can't remember that movie.

In Norwegian.

Yeah, 2013.

In Norwegian.

Which 1988 Alan Rickman film is known as Action Skyscraper?

Die Hard.

Die Hard, yeah.

Indeed.

All right, so which film studio produced the following films known in China as?

Super People General Mobilization, Seabed General Mobilization, Food General Mobilization, Machine Implement People General Mobilization, Toy General Mobilization?

Is this a series of movies?

Yes.

And there's one studio that made all of these.

That's what they're known as in China.

Is it the Avengers?

No.

Okay.

Super People General Mobilization.

Yeah.

And Seabed General Mobilization.

Seabed.

See, I think that might be it.

Aquaman or something.

So I want you to just, if you take out the mobilization bit, I want you to listen to these five categories and tell me.

Super people, seabed, food, machine implement people, toy.

I have no fucking idea.

It's Pixar.

Oh, my God.

Oh, God.

Super People is the Incredibles.

Incredibles.

Yeah, Smeam Brett is finalized.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Food is

it.

It didn't click for me at all.

Machine Implement People is Wally and Pixel.

That's a pretty tough one, actually.

Yeah.

I thought it was a full chill.

I thought this was a series of movies, though.

I misunderstood.

I thought this was like films in a series, not

studio.

Oh, that was cryptic.

Good question, though.

Good question.

In Mexico, which 1978 John Travolta film is known as Vaseline?

Greece.

It is Greece.

Good one.

In Malaysia, which 1999 Heather Graham film is known as The Spy Who Behaved Very Nicely Around Me?

Oh,

it's Austin Powers.

The spy who shagged me.

It is indeed.

In Finnish.

In Finnish, what 2008 Heath Ledger film is known as The Night of the Night.

One with an N, one with a K.

Oh, it's

the Desert Night.

Yeah, the Dark Knight.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The night of the night.

Yeah.

And then do you want to do, since it's my, my eldest has got her GCSEs coming up later this year.

These are, are you smarter than a 16-year-old?

Oh, wow, we are not.

These are probably real.

Let's see how bad we are.

Okay.

From GCSE geography, which of the following countries has the largest supply of uranium?

Australia, USA, Japan, or UK?

Uranium?

Largest supply of uranium.

What are these?

Australia, the USA, Japan, UK.

I reckon it's probably Japan.

Are we talking in ground or mined?

Just answer the question.

Australia.

I can say Japan.

No.

Okay.

From TCSE biology, which of these decreases aerobic respiration?

Less oxygen, more glucose, less water, or more CO2?

So aerobic respiration uses oxygen, right?

Yeah.

So what was, was that one of them?

Yeah.

Yes.

So, less oxygen would reduce aerobic respiration.

Yes.

So, you get a point for that.

You should get this one.

From GCSE chemistry.

Oh, God, yeah.

What process can be used to convert long alkanes into shorter, more useful hydrocarbons?

Cracking, esterification, polymerization, or substitution?

Oh, okay.

I can do that.

What is it?

So you might know this.

How do you break down long chain alkanes into shorter ones?

Oh,

you frack them.

You crack them.

Yeah, that's right.

Cracking, that's correct.

From GCSE Physics, which of the following elements are magnetic?

And it could be more than one.

Aluminium, cobalt, iron, magnesium, nickel.

No, no, just iron, I think.

Maybe nickel.

Okay, well, iron, nickel, and cobalt are all magnetic.

Oh, really?

Iron, nickel, and cobalt are all magnetic.

This is all the stuff that they teach at school.

This is hard.

I was not taught any of this stuff at school.

How am I supposed to know what elements are magnetic?

Oh, that's tough.

From GCSE maths, express express 460% as a fraction in its simplest form.

460%.

Wait, was this your wife's Christmas quiz?

Yeah, dude.

This is such a downer.

Like, I would leave the party.

This sucks.

What a shitty quiz.

Four and three-fifths.

23 fifths.

23.

23 fifths.

Yeah.

Oh, I see.

So you're.

460%.

Yeah.

From GCSE history, which English tactic during the Spanish Armada effectively disrupted the Spanish ship's crescent formation?

Was it using fire ships?

Was it cannon fire from a distance?

Was it Queen Elizabeth's Tilbury speech?

Or was it boarding and capturing enemy ships?

Fire ships.

Oh my god.

No, no, no.

Queen Elizabeth's speech.

No, the Tilbury.

It's not that either.

Boarding and

commandeering a ship.

No, it was fire ships.

What a Lewis, you talk.

Just sips out of the correct answer.

I don't know what fire.

I thought fire ships were ancient things.

No, no, no, no, no.

A fire ship is when you get a ship, load it with flammable shit, set fire to it, and just drive it towards the enemy.

Oh, wow.

They were using it.

So that this was the Spanish Armada, which was Elizabeth I, a bit before Nelson's time.

Okay.

Okay.

So this is like Francis Drake, that era.

The Spanish Armada tried to come over.

If you remember, a bunch of the Spaniards, like this ship's sunk, and we used fire ships to sink a bunch.

It's a very, very famous story.

Remember, Francis Drake finished his game of bowls all that kind of stuff anyway no from gcse religious studies which two sacraments are recognized by protestants oh god baptism confirmation and eucharist so turn three the first two no no no it's which two sacraments are recognized by protestants

baptism confirmation and eucharist i think it's the first two baptism i think it's the first two probably yeah no it's baptism and eucharist

confirmation your confirmation is a catholic thing if you're confirmation I was confirmed in Protestantism.

Well, you shouldn't have been, mate.

I think

you're a phony.

All right, this has to be a get, okay?

We must know this.

From GCSE computer science, which search algorithm needs its input data to be sorted into order before it can be used?

Go that again.

Which search algorithm

needs its input data to be sorted into order before it can be used?

There's no way that makes any sense to me, that question.

It's a multiple

yeah yeah so it's linear binary bubble or merge linear it's binary from GCSE music write these notes in order from shortest to longest crotchet minimum quaver semi-quaver semi-breve can you repeat the question please no no we'll move on from GCSE French if you've got to get this sips if ne pas denotes a negative in French yeah how do you express the I'll give you the words and I want how you say it each time.

No longer.

Pleus jamais.

So it's neu.

Ne plus.

Nothing.

Rien.

Neu rien.

Never.

I can't remember.

Ne jamais.

Ne jermais.

And only.

Soumon.

Ne que.

Man.

Our parents are going to be very, very disappointed.

Turns out she's French a lot harder than what I remember.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

I think my last answer would count, though, as well.

You reckon?

Yeah.

I mean, the thing is, I think if you could do, like, everyone I knew that did French at school, even if they fucked up some of the written stuff, it was because they were a kid.

But when it came to the spoken stuff, they could pretty much hold a conversation.

Yeah.

And I think in that case, they're like, ah, give them a B or whatever.

But most of the kids I knew that did a language got a free A anyway.

Right.

Do you want more or not?

Yeah, go ahead.

It's hard.

It's really, I mean, we are terrible at these.

All right, maybe you'll get this one.

This round is called If You Know, Will You Admit It?

That's the name of the round.

Which combination of Kardashians owned the Dash clothing brand?

Which combination?

Kim and Chloe Kardashian.

Ooh, Kim, Khloe, and Courtney.

I was looking forward to the children.

I forgot about Courtney.

Yeah.

What does pied off mean on Love Island?

Pied off.

I've never watched that show.

P-I-E-D, P-Fa-Pepper, Pied Off.

Pied off.

Is there a thing on Love Island where you get a pie in your face or something?

No, sadly not.

Oh.

I've never watched the show so I've no me neither it means the contestant has been rejected by their partner right oh right what does the acronym so this question can fuck off what does the acronym LLAP stand for in and this is their term geek culture in geek LLAP yeah long live

uh Arnold

Palmer

long live Arnold Farmer

it's long it's live long and prosper you would say

I have never

heard of anyone.

I'm not sure if I'm doing it right like that.

Yeah, I'd never.

I mean, the fact that you use the term geek culture

suck my ass.

Which character in Grey's Anatomy uses the catchphrase, it's a beautiful day to save lives?

Oh, fuck.

Right off.

Dr.

Gene,

Eugene Tackleberry.

It's Derek Shepard.

Yeah, close.

In the reboot of Queer Eye, which of the Fab Five is the culture expert?

I fucking know.

Anyone idea?

The original Queer Eye Eye.

I've never watched Scott Island.

I've never watched it.

This one.

In Dungeons and Dragons,

what is the name given to the player who takes on the moderator-organizer role?

The Dungeon Master.

The Dungeon Master Week.

I fucking did it.

I didn't even play Dungeons and Dragons.

I knew that one.

These are all weird GCSE questions.

Yeah, they are weird.

What is the final challenge in an episode of the Great British Bake Off called?

A pie down.

He pied me off.

He pied me down.

The final bake.

It was Showstopper.

Is it the Showstopper?

Jesus, I never really watched British Bake Off.

No, meaning the Mrs.

F watches it.

All right, the final bit of quizzing.

I usually pull out the show swiper at the start of the show.

You know what I mean?

This surround is called No, Really.

Or you could say no, really?

Because this is bizarre facts.

No, really?

Yeah.

According to Richard Osman's analysis, in the first five years of the 1980s, there were 146 weeks in which bands had the number one single in the UK charts.

In the first half of the 90s, bands held the top spot for 141 weeks.

To the end of September this year, how many weeks have bands been at number one in the 20s so far?

Three, 13, or 30.

So bands have gone the way.

30.

The history.

It's three.

Three bands have topped the charts in the the 2020s so far.

Oh, my God.

The Beatles, Little Mix, and the Radio One Live Lounge.

The Beatles.

Yeah, I guess when

Little Mix came out.

Yeah, I know.

It's weird to hear that Beatles and Little Mix side by side in the same

thing.

Armadillos get around their lack of buoyancy by doing what?

In order to swim across rivers.

Curl up in a ball and float.

No, no.

They

go upside down.

Like a little little bow.

No, no, no.

Like a little bow.

Little bow.

No, they swallow air to inflate their stomach.

Oh, shit.

That's what I do.

In 1990, Malaysian strongman Ramasamy Lechmanar used what to pull a Boeing 737.

You know what you want to say.

A bungee cord.

His dick.

It was his hair.

His foreskin.

A typical lead pencil.

A typical lead pencil that is estimated.

Enough lead to draw a straight line for how many miles?

700.

35.

Lads.

A thousand miles.

If you were to weigh the electrons that make up the electricity that powers the internet, would they weigh the same as an apple, a car, or a house?

Well, if we were to weigh, sorry, the electrons that make up the electricity that powers the internet.

Okay.

It would weigh the same as a house?

An apple, a car, or a house.

Apple, a car, or a house.

Electrons.

They're not very heavy.

A car.

It's an an apple.

Tips.

An apple.

It's the apple.

Fuck.

God.

You didn't give me a chance.

I would have just gone for the opposite of Lewis's.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Rank these objects by number from fewest to most.

Okay.

All right.

Cells in the human body.

Right.

Trees on Earth.

Yeah.

Stars in the Milky Way.

Oh.

Fucking out.

Okay.

It's got to be.

Okay.

Cells in the human body, then trees on Earth, and then stars in the Milky Way.

Yeah, I think trees cells the other end.

red.

I think trees sell stars.

Okay, stars is first as the fewest.

100 to 400 billion.

There are three trillion trees on Earth.

Okay.

And there are 30 trillion cells in the human body.

I got it completely the wrong way around.

I got it totally wrong, too.

To the nearest percent, what percentage of all humans to have ever lived are alive today?

To the nearest percent.

I would say 50%.

I would say 49%.

It's 7% last year.

I won.

I won.

There's a lot, though, now, right?

There's a lot more.

It's still a lot.

In 1945,

in 1945, a chicken called Mike survived for 18 months after having his head chopped off.

True or false?

A chicken called Mike survived for how long?

False.

18 months.

That's too long.

Well, it's true.

It's true.

Which British monarch was on the throne when Nintendo was founded?

Oh, it was Victoria.

It was Queen Elizabeth.

Which one?

Oh, wait, wait, sorry.

Sorry, Nintendo, the company Nintendo.

No, we're not talking about consoles.

We're talking about the trading card game.

We are talking about the company Nintendo when it was founded.

Right.

It would have been the one before Elizabeth,

King.

No, wait.

The one before that.

George VI, you said.

How long was George VII?

What year are you saying?

I think it's like 19 or 1890 or something like that.

No, it wasn't that far back because they were making like playing cards.

Yeah, was it?

Okay, go with what you think.

Victoria.

It was Queen Victoria 1889.

Oh, she was on the throne for a long fucking time.

And they're a very old company.

All right, last question.

And then we're on the ground.

I was on the throne for quite some time yesterday as well.

You should have taken the Jim Jihuli out.

It was fucking it all up.

Which planet has a day longer than its year?

Which planet has a year?

Day longer than its year so hang on so it rotates so slowly yeah

jupiter uh what would it saturn rotates so slowly oh fuck i don't actually know i would guess

if you think about it you'll figure it out

let's say let's say mercury mercury you were close it was venus

i don't think mercury rotates at all if i remember rightly it's it's tidally locked right i think one face of it i'll check that is that why venus is so hot Because it faces the sun longer and gets hot.

I like that.

No, it's its atmosphere.

Of all these questions, I like the movie ones the best because I got a lot of them right.

So Mercury has the most eccentric orbit of all the planets.

It has a crazy all over the place.

Really?

Axial tilt is almost zero.

So it's just rigidly there.

So I'm just wondering if it if it orbits, if it actually

turns around does mercury rotate it also has no moons because it's it rotates on its axis very slowly.

Sorry, taking 58 days to complete one rotation.

My bad.

So Venus is actually even slower.

But I guess the fact that the sun is there means it's, you know, you can't get up much momentum and actually rotate because you're just getting dragged by the both sides.

All the sides are equally getting dragged by the sun.

Cool questions.

Anyway, I'm well wrong.

Apologies, physicists.

I'm stumbling to try and explain what I mean.

There we go.

I like quiz questions that are difficult to google up.

But then again, actually, you could have googled up any of these, I guess.

You could.

But that was why we did the quiz that we did when I was down at Christmas,

Trivia Shots, which is where you have to come up with something like, I did this with you guys on an earlier episode, how many pints of Guinness are sold every year, right?

Like you have to estimate it.

So it's not a fact.

It's something you have to estimate.

And then you look up the result and the person who was furthest away has to take a shot.

That's trivia shots.

Very messy game, but a lot of fun.

Anyway, this was, listen, none of us have done anything this week.

All right.

We're all recovering from Christmas and New Year, just like you are.

And we apologize for the fact that we had to fill half an hour of time with a quiz that was from Christmas.

It happens for me.

It wasn't even our quiz.

It was Mrs.

F's company quiz.

But I hope you had fun.

It was a good one.

It was a good one until all the hard questions started.

I think it was good.

The movie Translate one was good.

That was more like our vibe.

Yeah, I think so.

I like an easy quiz.

I like something that I can feel smart doing.

Of course.

The other half of that made me feel really dumb.

Well, then I can recommend, you know, the show was talking about Pop Culture Jeopardy.

A lot of fun.

Right.

A lot of fun.

Right.

Yeah.

All right.

Anyway, I guess that's our episode.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've got a few loose news.

Okay, yes.

There we go.

Lose news.

Bagaga.

So we talked about, did you see Elon Musk has sort of quietly admitted that he did cheat?

Yeah.

He said he's not going to apologize.

Because why would he apologize?

He has

admitted to boosting

and real money trading for items as well.

Yeah.

Oh, I thought you meant the election.

You mean path of exile?

Yeah, path of exile.

And so it's in games.

Sorry.

And so he said,

he said, was it your intention to take full credit for leveling your Harkle characters?

He said, no, I never claimed it.

The top accounts require multiple people playing to win a race.

So what would I be apologizing for?

So he's basically saying, all the best people pay for it.

So

how am I any different?

He doesn't seem apologetic

at all about that.

Why would he be?

No, I suppose.

I mean, he's going to you could catch him literally doing anything, and he would say, No, no, no, you're wrong.

And his supporters would say the same.

I mean, we just saw him throw a very clear fascist salute, and everybody's like, It's he's giving his heart to the crowd.

And then I've seen all these memes going around of other people, like Democratic people doing that in the same pose.

Watch the video of him and watch the video of their wave because they're not showing the video of, say, Kamala Harris waving at the crowd, they've taken a steel image of it with her arm out,

they don't care.

But there's no argument against it.

It was a fucking fascist salute, and you know it.

Fuck Elon Musk.

Just don't use any of his shit and move on.

Don't buy his car.

Sadly, I think he's going to buy everything.

Well, it doesn't matter.

Just keep not using it and hopefully it goes away.

Anyway, next,

next.

Okay.

Popular indie

FES Fortunes run.

Never heard of it.

Never heard of it.

Won't be seeing any updates for a while because the solo developer is going to spend three years behind bars.

What?

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

So, God knows

what he's done.

But yeah, that is, that's, I guess, it's not.

It's uplifting news.

His identity and the crime for which he's being incarcerated are not known to the public.

Right.

He's just going to be away and unable to update his game.

His sentence is the result of violence.

I was a very violent person, and I hurt a lot of people in my life.

Jesus Christ.

So, yeah, that's that's that's a that's if you if you've heard of that game, yeah, you luck getting any updates for a while.

A student with zero experience has tried to build a fusion reactor in his bedroom using AR.

I wonder if he ordered parts off of um uh

the place that from the mailbag.

What was it?

AliExpress.

AliExpress.

I wonder if he ordered some chargers and

he just ordered

trying to keep the costs down.

Please send me a fusion reactor.

It'll be there in a week.

It was three pence.

Yeah.

So, yeah, apparently guidance from Anthropic's Clawed 3.5 Sonnet AI assistant allowed him to just fucking do it.

So he's actually accomplished it.

I think he did achieve some degree of fusion, yes.

What?

Isn't it dangerous to maybe do that?

Very dangerous.

Is it dangerous to do that in your bedroom?

Like, could your bedroom catch fire, for example?

Probably.

It depends what he's doing.

What if he opens like a portal to another dimension accidentally?

Look, fusion doesn't necessarily mean it's generating power, right?

It's not like you can, most of these fusion reactors nowadays, well, in for recent years, it take more power to run the fusion reaction than they do.

Do you think that maybe he was inspired by watching the Fallout series that was on?

God, God knows what's he inspired.

Some people do this crazy shit in the hobbies.

It's like I was saying earlier, you just watch a YouTube video, you ask AI,

and you can make your own fusion reactor.

All right, so there is a little bit more to it.

You can look up the story.

There's a website called News for Kids.

So if you just google

student bill's fusion reactor um he basically did quite a lot of this at school and had assistance from the physics teachers and this the teachers were like yeah we'll help you i had an advisor helping out so it wasn't just this kid in bedroom bills fusion reactor and it just got to the point where it created plasma but it was obviously a fucking fusion reactor because that would be insane would you guys agree that maybe this is the equivalent to our do you remember getting that issue of nintendo power when you were a kid and there was the guy who beat who had like a high score in Super Mario Bros.

And he played with his feet.

Maybe it's like this generation's answer to that, you know.

We were so amazed that this guy could beat Super Mario with his feet and a controller.

Who we none of us know the name of.

No, we don't know the name of him.

And I never saw Nintendo Power.

I think it was an American.

Oh, I used to have a subscription to it.

Oh, that's incredible.

What a great movie.

Maybe it did come out over here.

In fact, no, it did come out over here.

I'm pretty sure.

But yeah, do you think that that's maybe the equivalent?

Sure.

The modern day equivalent.

It's not as cool.

He was hanging around with his teacher.

Different times, though.

It's a different time.

Yeah, but good.

I mean, isn't that every parent's dream?

Yeah, but that's not.

He was so involved at school that he created his own fusion reactor in his bedroom.

Other kids have always celebrated other kids' academic achievements.

Always.

What's that one?

What's that show, Young Sheldon?

Fuck off.

That's it.

It's like that.

Young Sheldon can do that shit in his bedroom, too.

I think.

I've never watched it before.

There's this guy.

There's this guy who, Brian Johnson, he's put a Netflix documentary out called Don't Die, The Man Who Wants to Live Forever.

Oh, yeah.

I remember hearing about this, yeah.

There's a few

billionaires

who do things.

Because he died well.

No, he didn't die.

But

I think he realized that the stuff he was doing was probably just going to kill him quicker.

Yes, so in fact, that is one of the things he stopped.

I mean, a lot of people, a lot of billionaires have like blood boys or whatever who they get plasma transfusions from to try and de-age themselves people are insane i know um and rich this is the problem but this guy particularly brian johnson i think he's he's he's um he's got like all of these different he takes 54 different supplements every day right um

and including including some pretty weird ones and so he's trying to he's trying to be young as young as he can and i think he's obviously living trying to live very healthily um but he obviously apparently he spends around £2 million every year on anti-aging and health, right?

Yeah.

Good for him.

He has to take one, stopped taking one particular drug recently because apparently it was making him grow older rather than younger.

But I mean,

when you're taking that many things, who fucking knows?

It's all just bollocks, isn't it?

A lot of it.

So I don't know.

I got a, I did, you know, I talked to you about this before, but Minnie got an offer for

a brand deal for a hair transplant

turkey.

Yes, yeah, you told us.

And he did a great fucking vlog of him going there to have it done, which and which was honestly very funny.

And we talked about how we wouldn't recommend it.

But off the back of that, someone emailed me saying, would I be interested in a sponsored hair transplant?

And I wasn't really sure quite how to take it

because I think my hairline's not too bad.

I mean, I'll joke about being old and stuff, but I'm,

you know, I'm not.

You draw the line somewhere, and that line just happens to be your hairline.

Well, someone has obviously looked at me and thought I could use some work.

I think your hair is fine.

You know, it could be better.

Exactly.

They wouldn't touch it.

I do have a vein streak running through me, like all humans do.

And I care about how I look.

And so you don't have to justify it.

We get it.

Part of me is thinking, maybe I could look better, but also part of me is thinking, I don't want people to judge me.

You know, I do want to grow.

I want to look my age and act gracefully.

Who am I kidding?

You know, I don't need to

to do this, you know.

Um, so, so I will send a nice reply saying thanks, but no thanks.

But, um, I'm not gonna, I might get back to you.

If I lose all my hair in the next couple of years, I'll get back to you.

Well, by then, it's too late.

You want to get in there before you lose all of it, you know?

Oh, you want to, right?

You want to try to get in there before you start losing too much of it.

And then it, and you know, because you'll still lose it anyway, but this will just sort of like you won't go from like, I have hair one day to I'm fucking Milhouse Van Hooten's dad bald the next day, you know?

You'll have some more,

there's more like lead-up, you know, more fudge factor.

It'll buy you more time sort of thing.

So finally, unless you're James Nesbit,

some mysterious shitballs have been washing up on Australian in beaches in Australian Sydney.

Some weird shit.

Another reason never to go to Sydney shit balls.

Shitballs, yeah.

Apparently, nine beaches in Sydney have been closed by authorities this week after ball, white-gray, ball-shaped debris has washed up along the shore.

Lots of different marble-sized balls that have been full of fecal

bacteria and gross and E.

coli and gross stuff.

Where the fuck they've come from, we don't know.

Maybe it's like dumping out of sewage that's gone funny.

Who knows?

I reckon

that Poseidon and the other denizens of the ocean have had enough.

Yeah.

And they decided to take all the shit that we dump in the ocean.

Our home is not your toilet.

Yeah.

Go fuck yourself.

Here's your shit.

Wrapped neatly into balls.

And they just dump it all back.

King Neptune and King Trident and the Little Mermaid are disgusted with your behavior.

And they're not having it anymore.

They're protesting Australia.

They're saying, Australia, stop taking dumps in our ocean.

We're trying to live down here and have adventures and sing songs.

We can't sing the songs when we've got poop balls

stuck in our mouth.

Almost.

Yeah.

Well, good for them.

There you go.

That's that's all I got.

So that's that's us for this week.

Thank you, everyone.

I got some news as well just before we go.

My three-year-old daughter

full-on puked on the kitchen floor last night.

Walked into the kitchen,

said mama, and then

everywhere.

So it happens.

Yeah.

It happens.

It happens.

It was.

Oh, crap.

The splatter was the worst.

It went everywhere.

It's, oh, God, there's little specks of puke just everywhere.

Like, it took forever to clean it.

Anyway, anyway, if you're thinking about having kids,

prepare yourselves for a gigantic kitchen puke.

Or even worse.

Let's say goodbye.

Thank you everyone.

See you later.

Goodbye.