Triforce! Mailbag Special #48: The Customer is almost never Right

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Hello, everyone.

It's the Mailbank.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

I don't want to stand on tradition here, but I do the introduction to the mailbag.

Oh, I stole it.

Sorry, I'm used to...

And also,

I think the last time we recorded, we agreed that we would get a big house viewing update from you as well.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

Well, I forgot the cardinal rule of everything to do with houses.

It's that estate agents are cunts.

Wow.

They are the worst of the worst of cunts.

But they're all cunts.

If you work for estate agent, I'm sorry.

You're a cunt.

I'm just sorry.

So

you know this as well.

So wait,

you're you're calling them out specifically.

What went wrong?

So I went there to the property.

I got there, stood outside.

Five minutes pass, 10 minutes pass, 15 minutes pass.

Obviously, I rang them after a couple of minutes.

No reply.

I ring the other office.

No reply.

So we stood there.

It's freezing cold.

It's like minus two.

So I'm fucking stood there freezing.

Someone turns up on a bicycle.

It is the owner of the house.

She says to me, what are you doing here?

And I say, oh, sorry, I'm lurking around your house.

I'm not a creepo.

Uh, is the house viewing on?

Um, and she's like, No, there isn't.

I've not been told anything about any house viewing.

And I was like, Oh, I booked it a week ago and I have not been.

And they sent me a confirmation email and a reminder email, uh, actually, as well, telling me to turn up at this time.

Um, and so I ring them up again, no reply.

Ring them.

So I say, Well, look, I'm just gonna have sorry about this.

You know, it's not not my fault.

It's the estate agent.

So I leave and the estate agent calls me, you know, five hours later.

Five hours.

We emailed you.

We called you.

We tried to cancel.

I was like, is this your phone number?

I'm like, yeah.

Is this your email?

I'm like, yeah.

I said to them, look, even if you did, which I don't believe, okay, I don't believe you actually emailed me or called me.

Even if you did, you didn't even tell the owner that there was going to be, you even asked the owner

about, about, you clearly didn't even organize this meeting at all in the first place.

Yeah, it wasn't never organized it.

And then they realized they hadn't.

told you that it wasn't organized or and tried to cancel it and that nothing had been done.

But here's the thing they could have done, they actually could have done it.

Like, she was, it's not like she was busy or going out or something.

Um, anyway,

I don't know what I expected, but there you go.

That's typical shit, isn't it?

Yes, typical shit.

Absolutely.

It's a miracle that anybody buys a house to be honest.

I rearranged a recording to do this.

Um, my partner had taken the day off to come and have a look at it.

Do you know what I mean?

With me, like, it was a lot of faff to book this.

Yeah, I know.

Listen, you don't need to make excuses for how much time it cost you, even if all they had done was booked it and you were free.

The way they've acted is incredibly unprofessional and dull.

Send them a bill.

Bill them for your time.

Tell them.

Do you fucking know who I am?

Just see Lewis Brindley do Yog's cast.

Yeah.

Anyway, the thing is, the ASA agents, they'll do the absolute minimum of work for the most possible money.

Absolutely.

And no one ever can answer any of your questions anyway.

So actually, it was quite useful because I met the owner.

So I actually smooth talked her into giving me a number.

And now I could just ask her the questions directly.

I can even go around the back

and cut them out.

that's perfectly legal

yeah i went to i went to a very small i went to a viewing one time to view we were looking to to buy a flat we were we're moving out of the first flat that we ever bought and we wanted a slightly bigger flat because at this point we were planning on having one child you know so we thought we could we could just about do it you know if we just get a big enough flat we could definitely have one child so we were looking around we must have looked around for like a year at all these different places and some of them were just shocking like some of them were unbelievable and this one we went to see was so small inside like there was i think it was like 200 square feet and it was it was it was so absolutely tiny and it and it had this huge huge backyard like it went out into a backyard that was about 15 times the size of the apartment and the guy's like yeah but look at this backyard and we're like okay he's like you just spend all summer out here i was like i'm not living in a backyard i need to live inside somewhere and also, how long is the Canadian summer?

Like, like six weeks?

It's like the same as ours, right?

You know, you don't.

Oh my God.

What are you going to do for the other nine months?

Unbelievable.

It's just

it's insane the kind of shit that they come up with.

Like, I, I, they can't, I, I, I, they can't be serious, like, most of the time, you know, they're just chancers.

They're, they're, like, they're charlatans.

And they try and listen.

I've had it before, like when we were looking at office spaces, you know, and this guy took us around this, this, you know, he knew our specifications and that he insisted on showing us this like tiny yoga studio and he was like oh look you could fit loads of desks in here and i'm like well this isn't at all what we asked for we've come like

you fit a bunch of fucking desks in here see how you like it i literally said to him at the time i was like thank you for wasting my time he's just polishing a turd all the time with the state agents that's all they do they're turd polishers and it just it just rolls off their back as well like i know the like the in the tearing them off they get so much abuse i think they're just used to it like they're just that's part of their whole thing Yeah.

Oh, God.

It's shocking.

Anyway, that's the world we live in.

So, but don't worry, because the thing is, the Mark House bucket is so ridiculous.

Their house will be sold next week anyway.

Do you know what I mean?

Someone will be like, I'm so desperate for a house.

And this one looks okay.

I think the crazy thing is, is it...

People organize so many things online nowadays and everything is out there for there.

There are websites out there where you can list your home for like a few quid relative to the amount of the percentage that you have to pay the estate estate agents.

Stop using estate agents.

Just do it.

Do it yourself.

Like, I know it's a pain, but you're selling a house.

You are selling a house.

Surely you could take the time to do that rather than have to deal with these, as Lulu said, C-words that we call estate agents.

Anyway, let's have an email.

Okay.

All right.

This is this.

Thanks for the update, Lewis.

I was really excited about this.

That was fantastic.

If you've got stories that are about bad experience,

send us.

We would love it.

And we will join you in our...

You're going to get like a tidal wave of emails because it's like almost every single speech.

I'll do an estate agent special.

I don't give a fuck.

I used to move fairly regularly, you know, when I was, especially with uni, you know, and moving around with the early days of Simon and YouTube, you know, we, we, we saw a fair few estate agents and I got, I get kicked out of my flax allowance to sell it.

And then, do you know what I mean?

So, but I haven't had to do it in the years and I sort of had, I thought, thought something might have changed, but no.

Nope.

Nope.

Everything is.

It's only gotten worse, probably.

It was probably like this in fucking Babylonian times.

You know what I mean?

I needed a fucking, you know, to get to get a viewing on my temple or my hovel or whatever the fuck I live in.

Yeah, we know a lot about history here on the podcast.

And this day, just like, yeah, this hovel is rich.

Don't mind that.

Don't mind that.

We're just, he's fermenting some manures to fill in the grounding.

Yeah, the shit's going to be ready in about two weeks.

It'll look good as new by the time you move in.

with the weather right now in babylon you could live out there all day yeah you won't even be inside you've got four wheat fields here for there's hardly any rampaging hordes coming through this countryside like pillaging everyone you'll be it's beautiful but the goat does own the back room

you're not allowed in the back room that's the goat all right here we go this is uh this is from kelly hi period you asked if anyone eats food in strange ways in one of the previous mailbags one of my favorite topics we've had this well i most certainly do It does keep coming up.

This comes back every time.

It does.

I eat popcorn weird.

I like to pinch off and eat the crunchy kernel bits while saving the fluffy bits in a separate container.

Once I'm through and left with a bowl of soft bits, I eat them all up like an absolute animal.

It became apparent that this is weird when I do it in elementary school.

I'm 29 now.

During movie days, I'd have an extra tissue for my bits.

The other kids vehemently explained to me how gross it was.

Now, granted, back then I didn't pinch it off.

I bit it off.

So they were right.

Hence why I graduated to pinching.

So and then Kelly has then also included a picture of a piece of popcorn.

I know what popcorn looks like, but this picture is meant to say this is the ideal.

So you know when you've got the big fluffy

grain bit on top and then the sort of exploded bit, you bite off or pick off the bottom bit and then you just have the fluffy bits.

I think picking off is sounds sounds worse, but it is at least dry.

And I think the issue is that if you're biting it off, you're going to get like soggy bits in that, yeah, and it's going to soggy down that crunchy, fluffy.

I don't like that, I don't like that.

So, picking is actually okay, just eat some quavers, it's like kind of the same thing, right?

Yeah, you might be able to find like a similar fluffy

fluffy, but is the crunchy bit the bad bit, or is that?

No, no, no, no, no, it's just that I would say the number one theme of all of these eating food the strange way is a very childlike thing that a lot of us still do, saving the best bit till last.

So, it's almost what my dad would always say is, don't play with your food, food you know i mean that's what it would that's what right no but this is if you have a meal and there's like the part of it whether it's a a chocolate bar or whether it's a full meal or whatever if there's a part that is your favorite part you save that bit till last because otherwise especially as a kid you know that you're probably going to have to clear your plate for your parents to to give you dessert right so you save the best bit till last because then even if you're not that hungry you love yorkshire pudding you're gonna smash that down no problemo whereas you're not gonna plow through that broccoli that's gone cold and you're not really a fan of.

So I think a lot of that is a habit that's carried over from childhood.

That would be my guess.

Or just, you know, you're used to eating things without really paying attention.

You've just got a little system, but it's always to save the best bit till last.

That's the, that's the thing.

Yeah.

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not like much of a system person, like saving the best bit till last.

I'm a mixer.

I mix it all up.

You know, there's multiple ways to eat.

As long as we're all full, it doesn't matter, does it?

That's true.

Yeah.

As long as we've all had, had something to eat, you know.

Yeah.

All right.

This, this one is topical, or it is for the time of recording.

Uh, this is about prisoner firefighters, yeah.

Gosh, that is very topical.

Yeah, that is happening right now, happening in LA right now.

I think I mentioned it.

I think I mentioned it on one of the podcasts.

So, I just listened to the most recent mailbag that included an email from a guy talking about leading prisoners to fight wildfires in Washington state.

That was quite an old one.

I've recently learned some facts about these programs I thought I would share.

Historically, in California, at least, about a third of the wildfire fighting force is made up of inmates.

Most recently, it's grown up to about 40 These programs are often regarded highly among prisoners as they're able to shed a lot of time off their sentences and gain valuable experience that will allow them to gain a firefighting job after they get out.

Prisoners in these programs also get to stay permanently at a different facility, which is much nicer than their normal prison.

Oh.

However, there is a lot of controversy surrounding this because the prisoners are paid about $5 an hour for one of the most dangerous jobs out there.

The pseudo-slave labor is legal in America because of a stipulation in the 13th Amendment, which is the one that bans slavery, which excludes prisoners from these rights.

It's kind of a nuanced situation given the other benefits awarded to them, but still pretty astonishing.

There's been a bit more press about this recently, given the situation in LA, but I think most Americans are still unaware of programs like this and the criminally low wages that these guys make.

So, I mean, the thing is, these people have forfeited their freedom

through crime and are in jail.

I'm saying, I'm just saying,

I agree, it's very low, and that you know, it is a dangerous job.

And, you know, perhaps they could get paid more or whatever.

But the alternative is you just sit in a cell in jail for your sentence, which might be forever.

You know what I mean?

Like,

if I was in jail for a very, very long time, I would want to do something like that.

And, you know, even if even if the pay was really low, I'd still rather just do that than sit in a jail all day.

Well, I mean, you've got nothing else to do.

Do you know what?

It could be worse too, because

in Russia, they're sending them to the front lines, which is much worse, right yeah at least at least you're fucking only fighting a fire rather than a a ukrainian drone do you know i mean like there is a difference um there so i i i but i i still think like it's on the borderline isn't it i think only cos firefighting is seen as like a kind of sexy noble brave profession yeah i think it it gets through the gaps people are like oh A prisoner should be delighted to be you know given such a opportunity, you know, g b but if it was something like, I don't know, coal mining or something, I don't know, you know, where's the line on what's actually okay here?

I feel like this is right on the fucking line.

Yeah.

I think the payment is, those prisoners are so exploited as well in prison.

Like everything costs money.

They are phone calls.

I will say one thing.

Everything is monetized so heavily, it's awful.

There is, I mean, a lot of the manufacturing in the States is done by essentially slave labor because it's prisoners.

They're just paid barely anything.

But this idea that, well, they're prisoners, they've given up their human rights is obviously not true.

You know, they still have rights.

And I think they should have a right to do that.

You have human rights and stuff.

I mean, you can't.

What are you going to do?

You know, pay a prisoner $60,000 a year to be a firefighter?

Like,

for what?

Like, it's, you know what I mean?

Like, it's.

Well, maybe.

They could have just not gone to jail and become a firefighter somehow.

Maybe, you know, like, I don't know.

It's just like, I think you can go way too far the other way, too.

I agree.

$5 is criminally low, but

I wouldn't direct somebody to

be a CEO in jail and still making a ton of, I guess, that does happen.

Yeah, I know in the right prisons, it doesn't

matter.

I would say we're certainly looking at this from the perspective of presumably working-class and poor people going to prison and being exploited.

Um, but but here's the thing: when it comes to the firefighting thing, fighting fires is not a for-profit thing, no, right?

Like, you would assume, like, I'm sure there's private firefighters out there.

It's America, after all.

I know that guy on Twitter was asking for one before his house burnt down.

Yeah.

But the point is, firefighting is a sort of for the greater good.

Like it's a thing that people pay into and say, yes, obviously throughout human history, our settlements have burned down.

We need people who are dedicated and trained to deal with this shit.

And when there's a forest fire, we need people that are trained for that.

So five bucks an hour for what is a non-profit, you kind of think, well, maybe, you know, the firefighting service can't pay them huge salaries because they need a lot of them and there's not enough money to go around.

And these guys do benefit with the shorter sentences and better conditions.

So maybe that's a decent deal.

I don't know.

But the point is, a lot of these other things, these companies are making a fucking fortune and they're doing it with essentially slave labor.

So I think who's doing it for the money here

is it's a couple of billionaires at the top who are really making all the money.

And I think that given, I think that you have to, you have to kind of give these people a chance to build up a bankroll so they're not just homeless when they come out of prison and they can't afford anything.

You know,

there is a level of exploitation and there's a level of rehabilitation.

A lot of crime comes out of necessity.

It it comes out of poverty.

You know, if you, if you're just going to perpetuate that cycle, it carries on.

And also, if you establish a meta where you can get these things for cheap because you're exploiting slave labor, they stay cheap.

No one else invests in them.

It's why no one's doing cocoa plantations because they can get it so fucking cheap from the Ivory Coast, right?

For basically slavery, you know, yeah.

And so it's until that changes, right?

And until there's competition, until we fix fix those problems there.

I mean, there must be criterias for this

to be able to do these programs in the first place as well, right?

Like, yeah, like a serial killer is not going to be fighting fires, like out

with a team or a mountain.

I killed 10 fires this week.

Yeah, no, but you know what I mean?

Like, what's uh, like, what, what is the criteria, you know, like, is somebody who's like raped 30 people out there fighting fires?

I don't think so.

Um, I think it's probably people.

A lot of people are in prison for pretty buttshit reasons.

Yes.

It's not, the prisons are not full of like serial killers and super murderers.

They are they're mostly full of people who yeah, they're in they're in Congress, am I right?

No, but some of them in there are, of course.

You know, like it's

it is kind of ironic that we are now in 2025.

We're in the first

quarter.

We've gone through a quarter of this new century, the 21st century, and we've got a criminal as the leader of the free world.

Brilliant.

And we got like a dictator on the other side of the world

straight into nuke everywhere.

Maybe he did go to prison, and this is his prison program.

He just gets to be the president.

Yeah, but he only makes five bucks an hour.

That's the problem.

Yeah, he's only making five bucks an hour.

Who's going to be next?

Fucking is it like you get to be president for a week, and then we've got this serial rapist on the guy next to it.

We got a huge raper.

He's he's up next.

He's coming in.

He's got a

drain the swamp.

Oh, God.

All right.

Let's

get another email.

Yeah.

No, no, no.

That was seriously, though.

Like, I would love to know what the criteria is.

Yeah, sure.

I mean, if based on

your sentence, like the length of your sentence, the severity of your crime and stuff.

It's incredibly

difficult job.

Of course, it is.

I mean, imagine it's the youngest, fittest men, not the sort of 50-year-olds.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, that's.

I'm just, maybe I'll just go off and have a look and read up on it.

Because I feel like I'm probably not alone in my first knee-jerk reaction to all this, being like, Well, are these, you know, these people were put in jail for a reason?

Are they dangerous?

Like, I know that they're doing something brave and heroic, and they, you know, of course, like they should get paid more for it.

They're risking their lives and stuff like that.

But then there's the other side where it's like, well, okay, they did get put in jail.

And like, what are they in there for?

I mean,

why are they out?

They should be.

Well, I mean, Americans have a lot of people in prison.

Yeah.

So they can't just have more criminals than everybody else.

I think a lot of the time the stuff you go to jail for is

that

this is the situation, right?

You're a black guy.

You walk across the street at the wrong place.

They get you, they arrest you for jaywalking, walking while black, right?

They, they find some little one spliff, you know, or something like this on you, and you go to prison.

You get, you know, enacted into the firefighting program, you get injured, and then you get bankrupted.

Jimmy, because you've got to pay the medical bills.

And then, you know, you're just, it's just a fucking disaster.

This is a typical scenario that you're just.

Typical.

This is every day.

All right, let's move on before we get swamped here.

This is from Sam.

This is stories from a retail manager.

All right.

I love retail stories.

If you want to send more retail stories, please do, because I fucking love hearing about crazy.

Speaking of getting paid five bucks an hour, here we go.

Here we go.

Dip Pyrrhion and the lads, fellow Baldian and hater of volcano-worthy old people here.

That's an earlier episode, apparently.

Um, I think that was old people that are worthy of being chucked in a volcano.

Right.

Anyway, in a few recent podcasts, the topic of retail workers has come up.

I'm a manager and a clothing retailer located in a seaside town in the southwest.

You are definitely correct in the way that retail and hospitality workers get treated like crap.

Yeah.

Constantly having arguments over menial things and having the customer is always right thrown in our faces.

I've witnessed on several occasions members of the public making staff cry from yelling and making personal insults.

Our company tracks any aggressive incidents with staff.

And in the few months after COVID, our store had the most accounts in the south, in the southern region,

from Bath round to Portsmouth by almost double.

Last year, we had over 10 assaults against staff, and we've all had threats from the usual, I'll be outside waiting, to I'm going to come back and cut out your eyes.

Wow.

The other thing mentioned was theft.

Which retail store is this?

Just a clothing store.

i'm gonna guess this could be somewhere like plymouth uh or it could be like torque or i wonder if any of the stuff happens in sex shops where there's already like some degree of like nah i feel a bit weird being in here do you think somebody kicks off like i don't think they're busy you fucking charged me for six dildos you fucking idiot see you outside oh i've holded my idiot dildos and fuck everyone's lungs and kick all the places of all the places i think that is probably the least right you're you are trying not to be sea going in Absolutely.

Yeah, you're not going to kick up a big stink.

Could you imagine, though?

You forgot your massive bag of cockrings.

Well, I'll be right back to get that as soon as I kick your ass, fucking idiot.

I'll see you outside.

Hold my sex dolls.

I'm going in.

I'm going to kick this guy's ass.

You know, like, what was it that made COVID make people go so crazy about like being assholes to people in shops and stuff?

I think everybody went mad.

Where do you think people were going the most mad though?

Like, what, like, of every retail shop you've ever been in, what has been your most frustrating experience where you felt like you could potentially go off on one?

For me, it's the absolute.

I don't, I don't, I, I guess I very, very rarely ever feel the need for physical aggression at all.

I mean, I've never come even anywhere close.

I know some people feel it like bubbling up within them and they get like an urge and it's like some sort of animal thing that they can't control.

i don't think i don't think i've ever gotten angry i just don't see stuff

have it i'm trying to think if i ever have i've gotten angry with other customers in a shop i think who were being fucking awful to people but i've never i've never liked it i did get i did get angry didn't i

in um the shop which was the the one in bristol just chip shout out to no i was gonna say just the what was it called the the small the small furniture shop or whatever it's called all right um that because i ordered a futon i've told this years ago do you remember where is my futon like that well no no he i bought it in the shop and he said he would deliver it and then i got a phone call saying they're not going to deliver it

right

and i they told me i had to come and get a van and get my own van to come and pick it up from the shop yeah do you remember this so i sort of said i'd like a refund and he sort of said no and i was like well what the am i supposed to do and then he was like don't swear at me and then we sort of got into this well

you started swearing more because you you yeah yeah he was like i'm not swearing

Well, I sort of said I wasn't swearing at you, I was just swearing in general.

Yeah, I think saying what the fuck am I supposed to do is definitely not swearing at someone.

Exactly.

Like if you said, you fucking asshole, what am I going to do?

That's swearing to someone.

But if you say, what the fuck am I going to do now?

That's just an expression of, you know, you're at the end of your rope.

But to say,

well, you're a fucking adult, mate.

Yeah.

You're a grown-up.

What, you never heard swear words before?

Get to fuck.

Exactly.

I think I was obviously trying to lighten the mood, you know, by being sort of jokey about it.

But he obviously didn't take it like that.

I think this must highlight the source of people's frustrations, especially like in a retail.

I don't think I've ever been frustrated in a retail environment.

No, I'm very much like, I'll go in, I'll buy something, pay for it, I'm out, you know, like I'd like to do it.

But you worked in retail, right?

I've worked in retail, yeah.

So I think I have as well.

I think if you have, you just know what it's like from the other side.

And you just know, like, well, I'm not going to fuck with people just.

But the frustrating part must be

if there's a perceived lack of being reasonable, you know, like in the case of the futon, it's so unreasonable to expect somebody to come and pick it up, you know?

But especially because they're if you're selling a big item, it's it's it's perfectly reasonable to expect that you're delivering that big item.

One way to do it.

I would say that's fair enough, but you will find it at the time of purchase.

At the time of purchase, they've said to you, Oh, I'll bring it to you, then you're buying it under the impression that, oh, that's something that I don't mind.

Yeah, of course.

You can buy it, but you're going to have to sort all the delivery yourself.

You might say, oh, well, then no.

Yeah.

But yeah, so it's kind of false pretenses.

Yes.

Yeah.

And I think that must be like a root source of some people just having a meltdown.

All right.

Anyway, let me finish this email.

The other thing you mentioned was theft.

This is Sam's email.

Yeah.

There's a big issue, but I thought I'd tell you some of the funnier theft stories from their time in retail.

A man with over 50 kitchen knives concealed on him with no bag.

They were just up his sleeves and down his trousers and so on.

Jeez.

A man who came in dressed as Jared Leto's Joker.

A prostitute that was showing us her breast, which had been bitten by a dog, and then asking the officer if it was going to take long, as she had a blowjob in a car park soon, as it was blowjob Thursdays.

So she'd obviously been nicked for theft and was explaining what happened.

She had a blowjob appointment in the car park.

Blowjob Thursdays?

I think more shit.

I think if it's blowjob Thursdays,

you save your shoplifting for another day.

You don't want to.

Yeah.

You don't want to scupper your chances, you know?

And shoplifting children.

As a duty of care, we have to wait for a parent or police once they're detained, which has led to a few memorable moments.

A police officer who came to grab his kid and was completely silent, but stared into your soul to where I felt like I'd done something wrong.

Interesting.

A mum hitting her son over the head repeatedly, shouting, Think you're a big man now.

Apologize to these men.

And police officers attended and made the three young females write over 10 apology letters to each store that they'd stolen from.

So everyone had to write an apology letter to the stores.

That's that's interesting.

I think some of these ideas are very dad ideas.

Dear Dwayne Sex Shop, I write to you today to apologize.

I stole a giant bag of cockrings the other day when we were having an altercation, and the police have now made me write an apology letter to you.

It is without doubt this is a low point in my life today.

I see this as a tipping point going forward and would like to make restitution to your fine establishment.

I have purchased you 10 replacement totals.

Please find and close 10 unused cockrings.

Unfortunately, I used all the other ones ones and didn't want to send them back.

Oh my god, and then that's enclosed.

That's

one detached.

The thing is, that's only the first letter.

There's nine more.

Yeah.

There's like all the every sex shop in the land.

Betty's corner sign.

I had to send 10 unused cock rings back to Dwayne's sex shop.

Please find and closed five unused cockrings.

i'm trying to spread them out there's not many left i went to ten sex parties last weekend

oh man do you do you think there's something like i've been watching uh the office the old us office again and just i find it comforting and it's a very good show my partner had never seen it yeah so i might i might do a re-watch of that actually it's a great show yeah it's

a lot of the a lot of things i one of the things i noticed was they have these dramatic confrontations these things that might these moments these things that happen which are obviously obviously you know it's it's a comedy show so stupid shit has got to happen right but particularly stuff particularly stuff happens where people fall out and have this a terrible argument or these terrible have wronged each other in terrible ways and yet at the end of the episode they kind of hug it out right yeah and it made me think it out bitch this shit you do not see anymore

anymore or ever i think in real life right like people hugging it out um most of the time if people have some sort of beef or drama, they block each other, cut each other off.

They have, it's hard for them, very hard for them to talk it out and actually remain friends.

I think it depends on the friendship.

I think when people block people out, though, it's because probably deep down, they know that they are no longer able to remain civil.

You know, like it's just going to be like an explosive argument or something like that.

And they just think, you know what?

It's never going to resolve anything or accomplish anything.

So I'm just going quiet, you know?

I mean, well, no.

So me and Joe, me and Joe Hickson had a falling out last year, towards the end of the year.

And it was a bad falling out.

I felt awful about it for weeks.

It was just a dota.

It was a dota thing.

It was a dota thing where one of you got grumpy with the other.

Which, honestly, when I played dota with you, I felt like sometimes you had fallen out with me.

And I'd spend a couple of days afterwards saying that.

It was so fucking bad at just going off on your own, and you were never worse.

It was when you were wolf.

It was like single-playing dota.

I can only

I have to follow my calling and

die.

You played Shadow Show the game and you just went by yourself and pushed some lousy tier two that we didn't give a shit about while the whole team is dying.

You did that every night for years.

Years.

Yeah.

Years.

I did.

All right, anyway.

I think we've all been there with Flash.

It's one of the best years of my life I gave to that.

You are grateful cards.

Well, no, it's honestly.

It's interesting, though.

I think it's tough to play Dota with Flax because he plays it so much.

So he has a standard, you know, and he expects the, he's used to playing with a group of people who understand that standard as well.

And they gel, you know, it's hard to play a competitive game with somebody, you know, like you're

on different levels, you know?

It is.

But I will say this.

Obviously, that falling out with Joe made me reevaluate how i approached dota and toxicity and that i was probably very unpleasant to play with and as a result of like um the medication i'm on i've found that i've become much more chilled out and less stressed and i felt like that dota was such a game that required so much focus and so much intensity and all of my concentration that that combined with anxiety uh just made me awful to play with and i've made a concerted effort although i do for humor's sake still occasionally lose my mind with people.

Shout out to Mitchie, who played yesterday, may have yelled at him a little bit.

But it was like, I've really, really, really tried to stop doing it.

And I hope it's made a difference.

I think the thing is, if you do have that kind of argument with a friend, if neither of you is willing to back down and admit fault and say, yeah, that was my bad, the friendship is probably not meant to be.

And it's just kind of doomed.

I mean, I've fallen out with really close friends of mine before.

And we've always made up because that's what friends do.

I i mean if you're actually mates you'll make up if it's like i'm done with that guy it wasn't a proper friendship somebody getting frustrated at a game or something like that is completely forgivable you know like i know it depends unless unless they really like go in on you you know like here's here's something which i breather or something because remember right there was this guy that we played wow with called pearson right and i'm still my friends and i see him playing games and he was um i think i think he was like the son of a priest okay right or something like this because because maybe not, but I'm maybe thinking someone else.

But I think he like

this thing where every time something would happen, he would either blame himself, okay, or take responsibility.

He was like, oh, yeah, my bad guys, I made that mistake.

I did wrong there.

Like he would be

everything to a fault, right?

He would take the blame for stuff.

Okay.

And it was kind of endearing.

And actually, it didn't kind of work out like, because we were raiding, right?

And it was like playing Dota.

And someone would fuck up and we'd be all frustrated because we'd lost half an hour of progress or whatever like because someone had stood in the fire or fallen off the edge or fucked up in some way right and he would always take the blame for everything and a lot of the time you knew that you'd fucked up and it wasn't his fault okay and so you kind of gave him like a little credit you're like oh what a nice guy taking the fall for me you know but also like i think a lot of times the general group knew that it wasn't his fault as well and so they were kind of like oh dude like don't don't feel bad don't take the blame like and so it kind of diffused the whole situation.

Some people have these character traits.

You'll notice them throughout your life.

And you'll think, damn, like, that's a weird one, but kind of, I like being your friend.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

And I think that I think we all have friends like that who you can't put a reason on why you like them.

But there's something, some, some traits that people have are good ones.

You know, obviously, like, being light about stuff, being funny.

Everyone knows someone who's just unreasonably funny.

Like, like, ozi's mum is just so funny um and that is so endearing and she doesn't take herself seriously um she always has like she's always trying to see a little joke in everything and it always sort of throws you off guard um and it's just i don't know there's just certain people like that you just hug those people and tell them you love them indeed because sometimes they don't know it i think uh i think dav is one of the nicest unless they follow your lane and dota and then it's well i've yelled at dav a lot in well yeah if ozi's mum was messing up my lane and dota Dota, I think I'd be mad.

I loved that.

I loved when I came out to Bristol and we and Dav came to see Ghostface with us.

And he was like, I'm having a mental health weekend.

And he was like, gonna be in a Dota tournament.

And I just thought, that is hilarious.

So, Daph, so, okay, so

we had that thing, right?

And I was like, oh, I can't go to this important charity meeting because I've agreed to go to this gig with...

Ghostface with Sips, right?

Not realizing that it didn't start, you know, because I thought we had to be there at like eight, eight, but actually, he wasn't even on till like half.

No, yeah, it was late.

So, Daph went to the charity meeting on my behalf, like dressed up in a nice suit, changed into like regular clothes, came to the ghostface gig, got there just in time for ghost face, and then left, changed again, and went to motion to do a night of clubbing.

And then he went straight after he was clubbing, he came back home and played dota till like four.

What that guy is living his mental health weekends a better process, love him

respect Respect to that.

Yeah.

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So, this week, a lovely pair of Raycon headphones arrived at our house.

I don't use headphones very often.

Mrs.

F uses them every time she commutes in and out of the office.

She's been using them since we got them a couple of weeks ago and she loves them.

And that's because everyone says that 2025 is going to be different.

For better or for worse, it will be.

The world will change whether you want to make a big resolution or not.

So maybe just keep it simple and say you'll hit the gym once and take it from there or call your mum.

You can plan a big trip.

I don't know.

Listen to more podcasts or something.

Anything to clear your head.

And one of the things that will help with that is these Raycon everyday earbuds.

I recommend them.

They're fantastic.

can i uh can i ask you a question

a quick question are these earbuds perfect uh for the gym for at work if i'm working and i need to listen to music while i'm working or at the gym yes um i i absolutely think they would be i haven't tried them at the gym yet but they have like you know the bud bit that goes in your ear like the bit that there's like different sized ones that it comes with you can find one that fits you if you've got a big pair of lug holes like me and they fall out all the time you'll find a pair that fits that and if you have delicate little ears holes uh they'll go in that as well and they're nice and snug.

They don't fall out.

Do they do noise cancellation?

Absolutely.

And if you're a busy commuter like Mrs.

F, let me tell you something.

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And luckily with the

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And can I get them in all sorts of weird and exciting colors that help me express myself to the max?

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We got them in pink.

Oh.

Or purple, actually.

Purple, because that way there's a chance I'd use them is how she got it.

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So there you go.

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On with the show.

On with the show.

On with the show.

All right.

Let's move on to the next email.

Hi, guys.

My name is Blank, and I'm going to censor it.

And I'm a delivery driver for Sainsbury's in the great great north of yorkshire nice uh i've been listening to the podcast since the dawn of time and i've gotten through the whole podography at least three times driving for eight hours a day five days a week means i have a lot of time for listening anyway i thought you all might be interested in hearing a little bit of the behind the scenes of being a supermarket delivery driver yes i'll bullet point the i'll bullet point these to make your life easier thank you uh number one we have the power to give you almost anything from your order for free the handsets we are provided with give us the option to refund and return any item that is on your order substitutes short dates, etc.

However, we also have the option to leave with customer.

This refunds you the money for the item and lets you keep it free of charge.

Wow, most of the drivers I know will use this feature so that we don't have to put the items back on the shelf at the end of our run.

So, if you're nice to us and you aren't 100% certain about a short life or substitute on item, just let us know.

Most of the time, we'll let you keep it.

Number two,

that is like a little

hack, that is a little hack, yeah.

That's nice.

Well, I do remember this when I worked in

when I worked on the bar.

Um, I I only did it for a couple of years um at this hotel what as a lawyer on the bar you know get people off for free yeah do you know what I think you're a nice guy how many murders you done don't worry about it we'll sort that one

cracking firefighters

don't worry uh you only get two terms as president for that crime yeah um so no uh I worked and I would give people free drinks if I liked them all the time and you know it's it's it's you know the manager was like you know just you want to keep people happy keep people sweet you know get them coming back you know you gotta gotta lean into that and you you do you

yeah just how about you're nice to people and you'll get free stuff as well i used to work at blockbuster and i was too lazy to to uh charge people late fees so i'd waive them all the time and uh man i made so many friends that that job is crazy well that's this is it people come in regularly

yeah because i want because i'm nice i'm nice to them because i want free stuff you know yeah uh that's that's the play the game people well here you go we can and will This is the dark side of it.

Blacklist your address from ever making another online order.

This is a scarcely used power that we have that is saved for the worst of the worst.

For example, okay.

I once delivered to a guy who had no intention of controlling his dog when I was delivering to his house.

The dog came running out, jumping up at me, and was constantly barking at me.

The customer laughed it off and said he just wanted attention.

The dog then proceeded to run around me and scratched the back of my leg.

I was wearing shorts as it was summer, drawing a decent amount of blood and leaving a long cut on the back of my calf.

Whoa.

The customer did not apologize or make any attempt to stop the dog.

He just laughed and called the dog a little rogue.

After my run, I returned to the store and told my manager and they agreed it was unacceptable and blacklisted the customer.

Wow.

That customer no longer shops with Sainsbury.

Number three, your frozen food is not quite as frozen as you think.

Our vans are not equipped with freezers on board.

We do have a refrigerator, which stays at a chilly two degrees when the engine is running, but this is where most of your chilled items stay along with large black cooler boxes that have a frozen plate inside.

Your frozen items are kept in here merely with the hope that they stay frozen.

However, they do not.

Over an eight-hour run, they do begin to defrost only slightly, but nonetheless, if you're worried about defrosting and refreezing, I recommend you don't order frozen food.

Finally, I don't order.

Well, I don't eat meat, so it's less of a problem for me.

But I think

the other thing is...

It's fine in the UK right now for three months a year at least.

It's fucking minus two anyway.

So, you know, don't need to worry about that.

Yeah,

north, Christ.

Worse if you live live in LA, I imagine.

Yeah, God.

I mean, your food would be on fire for one thing.

This is

a small PSA.

I've lost count of the amount of customers who ask me, Why have you given me X when I ordered Y?

When I explained to the customers that there are not enough hours in the day for me to pick all of yours and the other 19 customers shopping, load it all into my van, and then come deliver it to you.

They're always surprised.

They think the delivery guy is the one doing the picking.

So, what they call picking is when somebody goes around the store or the warehouse and loads up your order.

Exactly.

That's what my mum did for a while when she worked at a supermarket

before she retired.

So, yeah,

that was it.

It's the picker that does it.

Sometimes they'll even give you the wrong sausages.

Regular sausages instead of vegan sausages.

I think we saw a lot of this during COVID.

Like people's shopping lists were fucking insane.

Like, I think

one of my cousins,

I don't know how he's related to me.

My uncle's.

Oh, he sounds like your cousin.

My uncle's wife's uncle, or something like this.

He was, his shopping list during COVID was like two bottles of whiskey,

like just steaks and like crisps.

That was it.

And that's what he lived on for the week.

What a legend.

I used to collect shopping lists that I found at the supermarket

before we did online shopping.

I probably still got them in my office somewhere.

I had dozens and dozens and dozens.

And one of the guys at the waitress near me saw me doing that and said that he would keep an eye out for shopping lists for the next time I'd come in.

And sometimes he'd give me a couple.

And my mum would collect them from the waitress that she worked at.

And when I'd go down to see her, she'd give me a bag of shopping lists.

Nice.

Oh, do you mean handmade ones?

Yeah, handwritten shopping lists.

You always find them in the bottom of trolleys.

People always leave them behind.

Or on that little clipboard that's on the front of the trolley.

It's got like a little metal clip that you can fold up.

Yeah.

That's to pop your shopping list on.

That's fascinating.

It's all old people handwriting.

And the fascinating thing is, first of all, people's spelling is hilariously bad at times.

And they've and also the list you can see, if this is a list that's been left out and people are just meant to add stuff to it throughout the week, so you'll have multiple different handwritings and different pen styles, uh, you know, like different colored pens.

So, this is obviously the family list, and then someone's brought this in and done a shopping.

I used to love it.

Some of them were hilarious.

I'll try and dig them out.

I'll try and dig them out.

Yeah, God, have you got like a box of them under your bed or something?

Yeah, they've literally got a bag somewhere with all these lists in.

I just there's a little mission for Triforce listeners.

Yeah, send some

shopping lists, your weird shopping lists.

Yeah, if you get, if you are out and you see a shopping list, don't you just send a picture of a shopping list.

Yeah, absolutely.

Or like, even if it's mundane, you know, just normal stuff.

I still want to know what I want an insight into the minds of

the shopper.

I mean, especially people who still write lists out.

Because what I'll do is, if me and Mrs.

F are you know, if I'm not going to be able to do it, lady with the coupon voice.

Coupon lady voice, but I'll do the WhatsApp.

So I'll say, send me a list of what you want and I'll just read it off WhatsApp.

I won't write it out.

I'll just go it.

Yeah, I'll just, I'll just use it.

I guess it's

a certain generation.

Yeah, so it's mainly older people and the things that they buy are very interesting.

I used to work at a grocery store and occasionally, like, well, occasionally every week, somebody would come in and it was like a shopping list for a charity.

So like, you know, they had this charity set up whereby

they would give people like a set list of groceries that they could go get.

So if you came into the store and you presented this list at the front desk, they'd be like, okay, yeah, we'll go get that for you.

And then bring it back and either deliver it or whatever.

So the lists were always the same, but like, depending on who did it, some people would pick all the value stuff, you know, like the value range stuff.

They would load up like every item on the list, they would find like the cheapest thing and put them in.

But if I did it, I'd always put the most expensive, like all the branded, like really expensive stuff in.

Like I'd make the whole thing.

I actually got in trouble for doing it one time.

Crazy, eh?

Like I'd go like, you know, like you'd put like all like the,

you know, like, you know, how you got like tiers of stuff?

You have like the

like the everyday or the value range, and then you have like the middle tier, which is normally like the branded stuff.

And then you have like the high tier, you know, like if you go to MS, it's like,

you know, like the

president's selection or, you know, some shit like that.

You just load the whole thing up with like all the president selection stuff.

But yeah, I got got in trouble.

So I had to, I had to bust it down.

I had to go for like the branded stuff.

It was too much.

It was too exquisite, you know?

Too exquisite.

All right,

this is

a question, an office question that has sparked a little bit of controversy around the office, this person's office.

And we're going to try and resolve this for them.

So how many items would you have if you had the following quantities?

All right.

So give me a numerical value for these quantities.

A handful.

Like a handful, like five.

A handful is, yeah, I'd say like seven.

Okay.

A couple.

Two.

That's that's two.

Right.

Several.

Three.

That's like three or four.

Okay.

What about a few?

Three.

That's three.

A few is three.

A couple is two.

A few is three.

A handful is like more than several.

Yeah, several is like.

Several's in between.

A few and a handful.

So so this is what old Mitch has come up with.

A couple is two.

Obviously, a couple is two.

Yes, of course.

Like if someone says a couple, that means two.

Give me a couple or a couple.

If somebody says here, I'll give you a couple and they give me three.

I'll even go as far as to say, you've given me a few here.

Yeah, this is a few.

I asked for a couple.

You've given me a few.

Exactly.

A handful.

Handful.

Sure.

Handful, four to six, around five, because that's how many fingers you've got.

That's a handful.

Yeah.

That's about three.

Yeah, that's okay.

I like that.

I like that.

So Mitch lists a few as three to four.

And I think that makes sense.

It's just a few, three or four.

What about a ton if somebody says, I ordered a ton?

Oh, I'm talking dozens.

Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely.

Seven.

What about a symmetric ass load?

Oh, that's

even more.

That's multiple tons.

That's weight.

That's too much.

That's like a double.

It's ridiculous.

Yeah.

And old Mitch thinks that like between six and nine is several.

Because

several is around seven.

So it's like, well, there's several, like six.

I like the amount of thought you put into this, Mitch, because I think everybody thinks about this stuff deep down.

You know, like you, you have thought about it.

It's like shower thoughts for sure.

And then I realized we use these words all the time.

Yeah.

Get me a few.

And, you know,

get me a few cans of cider.

Right.

Now, if someone comes back with two, I would say, no, I didn't say get me a couple.

Yeah.

I would say get me a few, which is three to four.

But if I said, I want several, several different varieties, you would want a range, right?

That would be like five, six, seven.

So it makes sense.

Anyway, some of the colleagues think that a couple is more than a few.

That a few things is less than a couple of things.

Unless a few means one, it cannot be less than a couple.

There's no way.

So yeah, I'm with you, Mitch.

I'm with you.

We're with you, Mitch.

I think we all line up here.

We're with you.

We've got an answer to the Tenerife dogs questions you had, Lulu.

Oh, sweet.

Hello?

Sweet.

Yeah.

Okay.

I couldn't hear.

I'm sorry.

I was crushing it.

Someone listened to my...

I was interested.

Yeah.

I couldn't figure it out.

So.

Aloha, Jack here.

To answer Lewis's question about the outdoor dogs on Tenerife, due to the average temperature year-round being rather comfortably warm, the locals probably keep any dogs that's not absolutely tiny outdoors permanently.

I don't want probably some.

i don't i don't want make it like any assumptions you start this you started this even with an aloha which made me think you were some sort of

problem

hold on hold on as they can tend to stink especially in subtropical and tropical climates resulting in them becoming extremely territorial of their locked up area like any indoor dog does in their own home with intruders so it's best to have them on a leash or behind a fence rather than mauling unsuspecting tourists right where my family is from which is an even smaller island with similar similar weather it's odd to keep dogs inside the house even now when i go on walks day after day around the same block the dogs still bark unceasingly at me so this is a temperature thing the reason people keep their dogs around

right that's that's because they it's because they're sweaty and they they get territory about the garden that smells of them yes i think that's it Wow.

Okay.

Really crazy.

Yeah.

Because we went for a walk.

It actually, there were some big dogs locked up in a cage and they started going and there was a much smaller dog, dog, like a toy poodle, that was loose.

And it just came out into the middle of the road and it was barking at me and yapping at me really loud.

And my partner was obviously scared of it.

But compared to the other dogs that I'd seen on this walk, this little toy poodle looked like the most.

I could have basically kicked it into space.

Do you know what I mean?

If I'd wanted to, you know, just a quick movement, and that dog would have been a twinkle in the sky, you know.

Um, but I, I obviously, but I, because I'd been quite frightened, you know, on this walk by these big dogs, like, you know,

paws up, you know, barking at me at head height.

God, yeah.

Um, and, and suddenly I was sort of confronted by this one, which obviously they don't need to keep in the garden because even, even the most scared of dog guy will not be that like

threatened by this, this toy poodle's um barking.

But I sort of almost like went the other way.

I was like, oh, good on you.

I'm going to let you have your little moment where you think you're a big, scary dog and have defended the house.

And I just, you know, just edge around you as if you were.

It was almost like I was playing with a toddler, though.

And I was like, oh, you got me.

Oh, well done.

Kind of thing.

Yeah, you just got to placate them sometimes for sure.

Yeah.

It's like, I'm backing, I'm slowly backing away.

You win,

sausages.

You win.

You win, big guy.

This is with regards to the lengthy discussion about rice and chips in episode 287.

I think this is after I'd been up to Birmingham

and I said that they wanted to give you chips with everything.

Rice easy.

That'd be good.

Right.

Well, that was a big discussion.

Half rice, half chips.

You might be interested in

some of the fast food traditions we have in my region of Sweden, which is Vermland.

I think that I'm saying that right.

In Sweden.

Vermland.

This sounds bad already.

It's V-A-R-M land, but the A has two dots over it.

Right.

So I think it's Vermland.

Vermland.

Anyway, in Sweden, it's common to be able to order mashed potatoes with most of your fast food.

Right.

Chips are, of course, also available in the whole country.

I'll say Vermland, however.

It's common to order your burger, hot dog, et cetera, with harteherte.

This is basically regional dialect for half and half.

I apologize, Swedes, for my

chips.

And means you get your serving with half chips, half mash.

Nice.

Sounds fantastic.

The way of eating this is commonly to use the mashed potato as a dip for your chips.

Ooh, that does sound nice.

Is it like really creamy mashed potato?

I don't know.

I don't know.

It's mash.

That sounds good.

I mean, to me, that is disgraceful.

Well, it does need some other thing.

You have to have something like gravy or some sort of sauce.

Apparently, this is chips and mash, Lewis.

And you can eat chips in the mash.

Yeah, you give it a bit of gravy.

You must have other things.

Get some.

But then why not just have gravy and chips or gravy and mash?

Gravy and chips.

Or maybe they...

Let me ask you a question.

Would you make a sandwich where you've got a piece of brown bread, put a piece of white bread in there, and then another piece of brown bread on top?

That sounds crazy.

Would you do that?

Well, what's in between those, all the bread?

Nothing, mate.

It's bread and bread.

Just bread and bread.

That is a thing.

There's a toast sandwich, is that?

Isn't it?

Do you ever eat them?

No.

Why not, Lewis?

It's bread and bread.

It's much like potato and potato.

Yeah, I do agree with the whole like doubling down on the same things, not a good idea.

But I still think like the sauce, with the sauce, it'll be fine.

I love, I could eat of an evening a bowl of mashed chips and a bit of gravy.

That would be a great boy dinner.

The thing is, the thing is, boyfriends.

You're talking about a region, a whole region of a country where this is clearly popular.

You're just one single man with this opinion.

No, I am.

This is in place.

This is a solid, in-place thing that people,

many people enjoy, more than one person enjoy.

So

sometimes you just can't question it, you know?

Yeah, you can't question it.

Like all those people in prison.

I'm sure they're all good people, right?

Sips?

Wow.

A lot of people are breaking crimes and going to prison, mate.

You can't question it.

Well, I mean, you can.

I'm saying these people should be locked up.

You're eating chips with mash.

You should.

You have betrayed the ways of our constitution.

By combining one carb with a similar carb in a kebab shop takeaway, you have broken our cardinal rules.

That must be madness.

Madness is childish.

Just stop doing that.

You will be banished to the far north.

I think it sounds great.

I would totally eat that and enjoy it, too.

I still think they're half rice, half chips Welsh strategy on the kebab.

Half evening.

You could have rice and chips with some curry sauce on there.

That'd be delicious.

Yeah,

I think also as a veggie, it is easier because I think

most people might think half rice is half chicken or half chips, half chicken.

It's just that.

It's just, we just like the

rice instead.

I love like a garlic non-bread, but I don't mind how it is.

I don't mind if it's like, you know, if it's just been nuked in the oven by by accident and it's crispy.

I like it like that.

Or

when it's just like really soft and fluffy, I'll have it like that too.

I don't care.

I'm just like.

And would you fill that naan bread with rice?

Sometimes, yeah, if I feel like it.

Jostra.

Would you fill it?

Loads of rice in there.

Slices of white bread.

What about slices of bread?

Yeah, I might put some slices of bread in there.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

How many slices are we talking?

I love bread.

So

I have 50,000.

50,000.

Seven.

several how many loaves is that several several

weird weird food

talking seven slices of bread inside uh what like a really like nuked crispy naan or like a really soft one which whatever however you want have it your way mate this is your uh your car load get get i reckon you could put anything in a toasty my friend does do this quite often they get uh a mug like a big mug um and they break they rip up pieces of bread put it in the mug and pour milk in.

It's like hedgehog food or something.

And they have this, they sort of eat this like bready, milky, floating, weird cereal.

I don't think I would do that.

That does not sound very good for me.

I can't think it would be.

It looks so unappealing to me.

Yeah.

But let's do it.

I like dipping bread in gravy, you know, like if you have some gravy left over on your plate, I like to.

I like to do it.

I mean, who's not doing that?

I like to soak up some bread in the sense that it's delicious.

But do you ever use your bread to pick up other bits of bread?

Yeah,

if a couple of bits fell off, like a previous attempt at dunking, I would use my bread to pick up those bits.

Yeah, you can dab those up.

I'm right, but I'm saying you've got a slice of bread in your hand and a slice of bread on the plate.

Do you just press that slice in your hand into the one on the plate and then, mmm, two pieces of bread?

I mean,

I'm going to have to get back to you, Darcy.

I'll have to try that one as well.

That's not a typical scenario for me, but

no, I've not come across it.

I'm hoping I'm adventurous.

I'll try it.

Yeah, that is that's wild man shit.

I'm more into that than the mug of milk.

Yeah, I think

I would be more likely to try that over seven slices of bread inside my non-bread as well.

Yeah, yeah.

So here's a quick email from Jacob.

Why did we stop doing the best things episode?

We just forgot.

Yeah, I think that's literally.

I think

what was the best things episode?

Best technology, for example.

We can do other things.

like, is this?

No, no, no, no.

Like, when we said, what is the best technology?

Oh, like the most timing thing for us.

Well, I mean, we did the best Minecraft block, and people are like, I've been watching a lot of 24 Hours in Police Custody recently, and I think the best technology has got to be CCTV.

I also watched a London bombings documentary, and CCTV was key in tracking down

the ones, you know, the failed bombings, like two weeks later,

they managed to track them all down with CCTV.

I mean, it did also result in the death of that Brazilian guy,

Jonathan de Meneze, Jean-Charles de Menez.

That's right.

Yeah, it was off.

So, yeah, here's the thing about this podcast.

We record on Thursdays pretty reliably, and we have done for years.

And we usually try and talk about things that are going on, current events, what we've been up to, blah, blah, blah.

But then sometimes we also record on Fridays.

Now, not every week because we're busy, but and then we tend to do the mailbags then to cover us in case we missed.

We didn't use to do mailbags.

No,

and so since the mailbags come along, that we haven't needed to do these other silly ideas.

Now, I have got some funny ideas.

Oh, let's hear them.

Other things.

No, no, no.

I'm not.

Oh, you're not going to pitch them?

Not going to pitch them just because they're not fully formed yet.

And also, I, I, I, but, but we, we might do that.

I, I mean, we've obviously tricky to think about, right?

We, we do have a Patreon where we put out ad-free versions of this, um, but we don't really push it and we don't really ask for it too much.

And

we're not, we're not doing special kind of content on there.

I know some podcasts make absolute bank doing that, but we, yeah.

I don't know.

We've, we've got enough, it's already enough members things going on.

You know, you guys, if you like, you can sub to, to, to, on Twitch to Sips and Peaflight.

So we're streaming often at the same time.

Yeah, we do, funnily enough.

Um, almost every weekday.

And I mean, I do, I stream in the evening.

Very similar hours, yeah, during the day.

Yeah, but during the day.

I mean, because otherwise I'm just fucking sitting around.

Like, it's literally, I would just be sitting around.

The days when I'm like, if we record, and then I had to do something and then it's like 1.30 and I think I won't stream, I'd just sit there playing fucking video games anyway.

So I would, you know, normally I would stream because I'm just like, well, I mean, if I wasn't a streamer, I would still just be fucking playing video games all day.

Yeah.

Because I'm a degenerate.

Yeah, same.

There's a last one here.

This is from Adam from Ireland.

I just wanted to say, love the show, blah, blah, blah.

Catching up on the podcast, have just listened to, by the way, the blah, blah, blah was Adam's.

I'm not blah, blah, blah.

Adam's email.

Catching up on the podcast and have just listened to Mailbag 15.

This is 28th of June, 2023, when the first mention of a Triforce geocache has come up.

I am a software engineer for Ericsson Ireland working in their software campus in Athlone and thinking a Triforce geocache is a great idea, have taken a small slip of paper with the words, if you find this, email the tinypenis podcast, periodflax at gmail.com, and hidden it somewhere in the office.

I'm hoping that by the time I catch up to more recent podcasts, and when, if this email is read out, someone else will have also found the paper and mailed in.

I love the show, it really brightens up my day.

Thank you, Adam.

I have received no such email.

So someone's, so you've hidden a piece of paper.

Yeah.

So you're in the office that says to email us at the tiny penis podcast.

Now, no one's going to email that, in my opinion.

No one's ever going to email that.

What I would like, if somebody does do this weird geocache thing, go for it.

But maybe just say, email the Triforce podcast with the words, I have a tiny penis.

That way, it's only a serious people that will bother doing it.

And you've got to take a picture of the geocache and tell us where it was.

Maybe you've got to like

do an incentive as well.

Say, if you want like five bucks, do this.

No, I ain't giving nobody five bucks.

No, neither am I.

It's just like, no, but you don't want to write too much on this note, do you?

You don't want to say on the note, if he

please email this thing with a picture of where you found it and a cop and your name and address, and we'll send you five bucks.

It's ridiculous.

You can't do all that.

What are you talking about?

You're not getting

somebody five bucks, so you wouldn't pay a prisoner to be firefighted.

Is that what you're saying?

That's exactly what you knew.

Yeah, I knew it.

If your house was burning down, would you pay a minimum wage slave prisoner to come out and save your house?

Yeah,

if I was desperate, I would do anything, honestly.

I know.

So, anyway, that's enough.

Podcast that's the podcast.

Let us know about that geocache.

Yes,

I never got into geocaches anyway, but if you want to do it, then do it.

Oh, yeah, I've got something to talk about similar to that, but it can wait because I'm again, it's another little secret thing I'm working on.

Right,

it's 2025.

He's a is a it's a it's a mystery year.

Lewis is uh, he's in the lab, he's cooking cooking up all sorts of

surprises and mysteries and secrets.

Oh, I spoke to Dav about something I think would be quite fun to do.

I'll talk to you about it afterwards.

I've got an idea of something that'd be fun to do.

Really?

All right, let's have a little mini meeting.

No, no, no.

I'm going to tell you right now, really quickly.

No, no, no, no, don't do that.

Taking the TGV to Paris, we're going to take the Euro tunnel, the Euro star to Paris.

We all are.

Me, you, and Lewis.

We're going on the road this year.

It's going to happen.

Okay.

But where from what?

What is our departure station?

We're going to leave from

St.

Pancras, and then we're going to go straight to Paris, France, on the Eurostar.

Sounds great.

Sounds great.

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

And then we're going to go to Paris for a couple hours and come back the same day.

Fantastic.

Wow.

It's going to be one.

Okay.

Can't wait.

I love it.

I can't wait.

Well, thanks for the emails.

Thanks for listening.

And thanks for writing.

And we'll see you guys next time.

Goodbye.

All right.

Goodbye.