Triforce! Mailbag Special #47: Reddit Reacts

Pickox.

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse, and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest-paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, No, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's gonna tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action, aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

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Ah, another mailbag episode has rolled around, and how fun it is to open up all of your emails, especially the ones where you complain about things.

This week's top complaint has been the story about the dead dog in the suitcase.

Remember that one?

I remember that one.

Yeah.

Had one email saying that it was inappropriate for the podcast.

Didn't really understand what that was about.

But the rest of them were pointing out it is, in fact, a well-known myth, an urban legend.

It's been around for ages.

There's been articles about it.

It was bullshit.

Apologies.

But I would like to know, and I'm going to do a little bit of a mini call out here.

Daniel, you know who you are.

You wrote in with this.

You know it's fake.

Why'd you do it?

Why'd you do it?

Why'd you do it?

I want to know.

I want to follow us on the street.

You found the person who said the urban

story.

This is Daniel saying this.

Thought I'd share this story that happened to a friend.

Daniel, why did you lie?

Because now we've looked foolish, and I'm calling you out for attempting to lie on a very prestigious basis.

So we're not blaming ourselves for being accredited.

So, do I need to Google every story someone sells me just to check if it's an urban misfamous urban story?

Daniel, Daniel, Daniel, Daniel.

We are the age of our parents who receive the chain emails and believe them.

Of course, if we didn't read that story out on the podcast, we would have had bad luck and we wouldn't have been able to find a date or whatever.

It would have been really hard for me to find a date.

Our crush would have not

responded to our

Snapchats.

I'm i'm not sure what the things are that people now do with their crush

i don't know what they do either honestly i don't even think they do anything apparently nobody does anything anymore yeah that's accurate they just play marvels and chill that's it that's all they do you can do that from home i mean yeah well that's what they do i don't think anyone goes out anymore does i don't think nobody goes outside that's coming from us three Yeah, we probably spend more time indoors than the average person

provided.

My commute this morning involved walking 10 feet from my bedroom to my office literally 10 steps i actually had to step outside briefly to get to my office

i take about three steps outside that's impressive to get to my garage yeah yeah you top top me there uh this is from uh sean uh s-h-a-a-n-ean uh in episode 305 least attractive men in the world you were discussing the least attractive and most attractive hobbies for men to have did we did we discuss mick hucknell at the time god no.

Oh, my God.

We should have fucking

least attractive.

He has got to be at the top of the list of least attractive.

No offense.

Or maybe some offense.

I don't know.

But fucking hell.

I don't think many of our listeners are going to know who Mick.

He has not aged well.

I don't think he started off well, but he has certainly not aged well either.

Have you seen a recent picture of him?

No.

Just for the record, Mick Hucknell was a singer who was very big in the 80s.

Okay, just for everyone.

He's still alive, I think.

He's a he's um simply redismal red-headed man a very very very bad band and his ego he gives 90 year old prince philip a run for his money put it that way i'd say hello steaks i he looks to me like the guy that owns weatherspoons

do you know what

yeah he looks like the guy that owns weatherspoons does weird things to um people doesn't it yeah i was thinking i was god who's the other singer who's like incredibly old and awful looking?

Yo, please.

Let's

help it, all right.

I like Elton John.

I do actually like Elton John.

I just Mick Harley has a massive ego and he's a fucking Manu fan.

How's your season going, Mick?

Hey, you enjoying it?

You fucking bell end.

Man, you could go down.

Oh, God.

Oh, man.

Anyway,

I'm just surprised, actually.

I saw a picture of him recently, and I and just you mentioning the fact that we talked about the least attractive men.

Yeah.

Well, it was, I've lost the email now, but it was from a lad talking about.

Well, they don't have to be old to be unattractive.

There's plenty of attractive old men.

Victor Mildrew.

Look, he's pretty attractive.

Victor Mildrew.

Victor Mildew.

Did you call him Victor Mildew?

No, I called him Victor Mildrew.

I thought he was a little bit of a fancy.

Victor Mildrew.

You know, he was like 52 when they started filming that.

I know.

I'm not kidding.

He was only a couple years older than me.

And he was meant to be this retired old man.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

The episode where he picks up the dog and thinks it's a phone is still an absolute bang.

Oh, so by the way, just to finish that email, which I've now closed, it was from a lad who is a blacksmith.

And you were like, who's a blacksmith as a hobby?

Sean is.

There you go.

Right.

Sorry, Sean.

That's all right.

To respond to Sips's question of if having a missing tooth, would the gum harden up after eating with with it this was something that you asked recently is that if your teeth are all gone do your gums harden up as someone who has been described by several dentists as the worst teeth they have ever seen

i believe i can provide some answers uh at the moment i have 13 near or fully missing teeth mostly molars i take care of my teeth now at 25.

what he's 25 he's lost all his teeth but when i was growing up i brushed maybe once a day while drinking coke religiously that mixed with uh parents who had genetically bad teeth i knew i would have to one day replace replace them.

I've had around 20 crowns and caps, 16 root canals, several deep gum scrapes.

Oh my god.

But until I get full implant reconstruction, it's just patching holes in a crumbling dam.

The gums around the holes where the teeth were do not harvest.

Trigger holding.

Instead, it begins to lose its color and adhesion to the jaw.

And so now, once you get

after you've been through all that, only to then end up with like,

you know, you know, like when boxers put those things in their mouths, the white things, and they,

you can almost like convince yourself that the gum shield, that they look like perfect teeth or whatever.

That's the going thing now.

Like on TV, man, everyone's having their teeth done like that.

Like they're just perfectly straight,

so insanely bright, like neon white.

You can get that.

They don't really look like they fit

in their mouth, you know, those teeth.

Those are the ones.

And tons of people seem to have them now.

Or maybe I just watch too much reality TV.

I'm not sure, but

it seems to be all the rage at the moment.

Getting your lips done and then having those fake teeth as well.

Your teeth done.

Yeah.

Turkey teeth.

Turkey teeth.

Oh, I had an email about turkey teeth.

Yeah, here it is.

This is from Dan.

Hi, chaps.

My wife is a dental nurse.

And during your cosmetics talk, someone mentioned the turkey teeth trend.

My wife asks everyone to avoid them wherever possible.

Not for the obvious unqualified nurses and dodgy locations, but UK dentists refuse to work on turkey teeth as soon as they see them.

As soon as they touch the teeth during an appointment, they're then responsible for any future repairs required.

And as most people need them all removed after a couple of years, this gets quite ridiculous.

My wife had a lady, 23, come in and she developed an abscess and a quarter mouth infection.

So

we need to stop these details, people.

The dentist

refused and asked her to leave.

She was referred to the NHS and is now on a waiting list of of unknown lengths.

Don't get the turkey teeth.

Don't get the turkey teeth.

Don't do that.

Just leave your teeth alone.

I think, I think, like natural teeth.

No, don't.

Clean them.

Clean them.

Clean them.

Yeah, of course, clean them.

You have an annual checkup at the dentist as well, just to make sure that everything.

Maybe switch to sugar-free.

But don't get your teeth.

taken out and then replaced with those turkey teeth.

Toffees, like your nan.

No toffies.

Don't eat too hard.

Delta said to me, I wasn't supposed to crunch on ice, which I've been doing my whole life.

Really?

Because he said it erodes your teeth.

Yeah.

That's bullshit.

Wow.

Yeah, apparently, like, because ice apparently can be harder than tooth enamel.

That comes from his mum who was a dentist.

So, right.

A little bit of ice is going to make a difference.

Yeah.

I mean, if you get a whole ice cube and you're like biting down on it, that's great.

Do you suck on it for a little bit first to loosen it up before you bite down on it?

Or is that what she said?

Easy one, not easy easy one.

I set him up, Lewis Dunksom.

Yeah.

All right, we got one here.

This is from Alex.

Regarding the normal people walking among us, I don't know why we mentioned this.

I had a similar thought yesterday when I overheard a conversation in the pub.

A guy told his friend he'd been to Berlin for a week.

She replied, oh, where did you go?

Antwerp?

Confused, he said, no, Berlin.

Why would you think Antwerp?

To which she replied, I thought Antwerp was the capital of Berlin.

Apparently not knowing that Berlin, one, isn't a country, and two, is a capital of of germany holy i wanted to cry yeah alex uh weird people don't really know much about the world we make fun of americans over here all the time for not knowing where anything is but uh i bet the average uh british person on the street wouldn't know anything yeah they've got some big plans coming up eh although they want greenland now they want to rename the gulf of mexico how they want canada they want canada now

how do you feel as a canadian about for the i mean this must have been in the back of canadians minds that at some point america could turn around and say, Oh, they're right next to us, and we could definitely beat them.

That there might not at some point be some American in charge who says, Why do we let them be up there?

We should take that.

You must, that must have been in the back of Canadians' minds.

Maybe.

I don't know.

I mean, I didn't spend a heck of a lot of time as an adult living in Canada because I kind of moved here.

And I think it might be to you now just as long as I ever lived in Canada.

So I just, I don't even know if I care, honestly.

Very strong allies for the past 150 years.

Well, yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, there is that i mean the canada is the commonwealth nation as well allies

part of the the g7 it's like it's a big economy and stuff too i don't know if it would just be as straightforward as let's get them let's let's invade them you know what i mean you don't think that america could beat canada in a war well i don't know if it would ever come to that i don't think they'd go to war with them i think it would be more like just uh diplomatic stuff that would you know they would maybe they could maybe try diplomatically to Neville Chamberlain annex them or something, but I don't know if it would ever even come to that either, you know.

I have in my hand a piece of paper, eh?

And it says there's not going to be a war, okay, bud?

You're a bunch of hoses, bud.

Stay on your side of the ice, bud.

Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, who knows?

I don't know.

I'm not like the, you know, I'm not the oracle of Canada.

Right, no, I'm just saying, how do you feel about it?

Like, I'm not asking for for

it.

It doesn't keep me awake at any time.

You don't care.

Not really.

No, I don't.

You know, if it's going to happen, you know, it's going to happen.

But I mean, equally, you could say that about anywhere.

He doesn't know.

I reckon he doesn't know what the capital is of Canada.

He probably thinks it's Berlin.

I thought Berlin was the capital.

Yeah, I don't know.

It's weird.

It's a weird one.

The whole thing with Greenland as well.

Wow, I understand the Greenland thing.

I understand the Greenland thing a little bit more.

Well, here's the thing.

It's a strategic thing.

And it's a classic.

It's a big stair and shit, right?

It's a classic thing that populists do.

It's why we had the Falklands War, you know, because they had a populist kind of right-wing military fascist guy in Argentina who was like...

who was like, this will bring us together.

You know, a little bit of war.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, gets everyone, brings the country together a bit.

It's uniting.

You know, we've got a common enemy.

We don't fight amongst us.

Yeah, and then all it did was piss everyone off and mobilize Prince Andrew as well, which was a real shame.

Oh, yeah.

Well, it could have gone better, though, for a while.

That's where he developed his ability not to sweat.

I think the Falklands has a lot to answer for, honestly.

Okay.

All right.

This one's from Ian.

Pyrion, while you were reviewing the story about Greg Wallace stealing apples, you started whining, thanks, Ian, about how companies sometimes delay payment.

As Lewis noted, businesses are based on revenue streams with usually narrow margins and don't have mountains of cash on hand to pay you as soon as your work is complete.

Usually, we invoice our clients on a monthly basis, and your work is only part of the whole invoice.

If I were releasing payment to everyone as soon as they requested it, the business would be sunk in a single month.

Love you.

All right.

Well, Ian, we're not talking about little companies.

Yeah, cashier ring.

Thank you very much.

I'll pay for it next year.

Yeah, no, it's okay.

I don't have mountains of cash on me, but I do need all this food right now.

Next year, pay next year.

We're literally talking about multi-million and in some cases billion dollar plus companies and you don't think that they have enough money to pay me it's so stupid yes you're you're like running a small business i'm not talking about you this is classic small business ownerhood you're well you're the same as apple you think you're on the same level as apple or microsoft yeah or oh bill games

yeah bill yeah it's ian mate yeah we're both businessmen right On the same level, because you run Microsoft, yeah, and I run uh Ian's home decorating services or whatever.

So I understand business absolutely to a team, mate.

This idiot, Pyrrium Flax, was banging on about not getting paid.

If we paid out everyone we owe money to, we'd be broke, mate, wouldn't we?

Wouldn't we, Bill Gates, third richest man in the world?

Shiverish.

Oh, fuck's sake.

This is there is money in the banana stand.

There There is always money in the banana stand.

I'm not talking about if some small company Ian, I'm talking about the fact that very large companies, and as a small business owner, you should be as annoyed as I am because quite often small businesses don't get paid by bigger businesses because they know you can't fuck with them because you need

their business.

So please, don't call me a whiner.

You're a fool.

Feel free to email in again.

Thanks for emailing.

All right.

Okay.

All right.

This one's from Tyler.

And it's titled, Lewis's Next Love Interest.

I hope this email finds you well.

Writing to you from America.

I heard on the recent meal bag, Mail Bag, sorry, meal bag meal bag.

The meal bag.

That's what the horses sing when it's dinner time.

It's full of oats.

Terrible joke.

I heard on the recent meal bag, number 41, an application to be Lewis's next love interest.

Throwing my name into the hat.

Isn't that throwing your hat into the ring?

Isn't that what people say?

He's throwing his name into a hat.

I don't don't know if that's going to work.

He's throwing his keys into the jar.

I am 30,

muscular, comma, a business owner, handsome when the lights are off.

I can read, drive a typical large American truck, and didn't vote for Donald Trump.

You can be my little spoon.

Would you like to see a picture of Tyler?

Yeah, I'd go for it.

Yes, I would.

Yeah.

Hold on.

I want to see this creepy 30-year-old.

I'm going to download this.

This guy sounds kind of interested on this.

And then open it.

He wants Lewis to be his little spoon.

Well, apparently, he's a big lad.

Oh, my God.

Oh.

That's him.

His arm, for context, is the size of Lewis.

All right.

Like, this lad.

That's me there in the picture.

That's Lewis there.

That's Lewis

on the step up to the sink.

This lad's left arm is thicker than my thigh.

He's a big lad.

He is.

Look at the context.

He sent a picture.

Yeah.

He sent a picture of himself at a child's.

And the child's sort of body is the same width as his arm.

Indeed.

And his head looks like the size of his bicep as well.

He does.

P.S.

I have three children and a woman that claims to be my wife.

I'm sure it won't be an issue.

So Tyler is just tossing his hat in the ring.

He's also looks like a bold brother.

Welcome.

However, he's then followed up.

This was a couple of days ago, actually.

He followed up with another.

I changed my mind.

Oh, how are you doing?

I've changed my request.

The sass.

I was ready to move in.

Well, he's changed.

He's out.

He doesn't want to use his little spoon anymore.

The offer has been removed from the table.

He's taken his key out of the jar.

He's taken his name out of the hat.

You're done, Lewis.

You're never going to work in this town again.

You're finished.

He threw his keys and his hat into the ring.

Crushed.

All right, this is from Widget.

That's their code name.

You'll understand why I have to use a code name as I read the email.

Right.

Wanted to drop you an email because I work at the Hobbiton movie set in New Zealand, which means that I spend all day wandering around looking at hobbit holes.

Strange job, I know.

In case you don't believe me, I believe you.

You don't need to send photographic evidence, I believe you.

So, but they did, thank you.

So, because I've worked here for a while, I have a few interesting stories of things that happen here at the set.

You like to think it's all quaint and picturesque, but with 2,500 people coming a day, we get a lot of fucked up things happening.

Most of the tourists coming here are either Chinese or American, both of which have their own problems.

This is the Hobbiton movie set in New Zealand, yes, that I've been to.

Yes, you found the 2,000.

Did you take all your problems there as well?

Is it only 2,500 today?

Is that a lot?

I mean, the movie's over 20 years old.

2,500 people is quite a few people.

Okay, fine.

I loved it.

I thought it was great.

Carry on.

When we're sitting at the ticketing booth, we get a lot of Americans coming who are super excited to see

and say this in your best and loud Texan accent.

Hobbit Town.

Only God knows where Hobbit Town is because it ain't here.

However,

their energy and tipping is unmatched.

Okay.

We also get a lot of proposals on tour, and as you can only imagine, they're not always a yes.

Oh, my.

A customer proposed at bag end in front of their entire tour group of 41 and got told no.

Tragic.

Luckily, they had a lunch included with their group, but it was the most awkward hour lunch in the Green Dragon that has ever been.

Wow.

Jesus Christ.

Worst thing I've heard happening is when a guide radioed saying that a code brown had happened.

I think you you know where this is going.

One day, a tour guide was leading their group to the party field down a path, and right in the middle of the path was the biggest shit you've ever seen.

A customer from the group in front had taken the biggest dump of their life right next to where Bilbo had his 111st birthday.

What's worse is it posted on paper there?

How did this dump go undetected?

Did nobody see this?

Exactly.

How they did this without anyone else spotting, I'll never know.

It then became our senior tour guide's job to reroute the following tour groups and get a bag and hose to clean up.

That must have stunk so bad.

Oh my god.

Oh my lord.

I don't understand what's wrong with people shitting in disgusting ways.

What are you doing?

If you know you've got a problem in the poop department, take care of business somewhere else.

Don't go on a tour and think, well, I might need to take big.

You know,

when you poop in your toilet and it goes in the water, I don't think we appreciate just how much of the odor the water blocks as well.

Like it still stinks, but I think like a completely unsheathed out-in-the-world poop

fucking reeks man like there's no there's no comparison like they it just stinks so bad

I can't believe it.

God, that's disgusting.

Do we think like that that's why they tip so well?

Yeah, because they know they're dumping because they know they're gonna take a dump somewhere

I'm not kidding, but obviously I think I think Britain is is the most, if not one of the most obese countries in Europe.

But whenever I go to America,

they are so much bigger.

I mean, they're bigger in every way.

There's a lot of very large people in America.

Yeah, there are.

And if you're eating as much as they are eating, you got to go quite a bit.

I'm sure there's multiple very large poops.

And do you think your poops are mainly solid?

Or do you think that they are like at that point?

I don't know.

At that point, they're very much.

Well, this is why these questions are why we have a mailbag, guys.

Yeah, so if you are very

need to speculate.

What's the consistency of your poops?

How many are you taking a day?

And when you take, because I remember one time we were on the train, this was a school trip somewhere, we're on the train, and somebody had taken a poop in the train toilet, and it was no word of a lie, was about as thick around as like the average water bottle.

Like, you know, those reusable water bottles that it was that

no

word of a lie.

So you're birthing essentially a small child every time you go to the toilet.

I want to know, how much much does it hurt, or do you just get used to it?

How much are you fucking eating that your poo is bigger than my entire daily intake of food?

Like if I crushed all my food that I eat in the day together, it's still smaller than your poop.

How much do you eat?

And are those

like your all-the-time poops or are they just one?

I have taken a poop like that before.

Good lord.

But I think I can probably count.

I mean, I'm going to be 45 years old this year.

I can probably count on one hand the amount of times in my life I've taken a poop like that.

Like,

it's pretty rare, you know?

Well, we've really raised the bar this week.

Yeah.

We've really raised the bar this week.

I hope everyone's enjoying the dental talk and poop talk.

Did you guys, did you guys see that video of Elon Musk playing Path of Exile 2?

No.

He recorded himself playing Path of Exile 2, but it is not, he doesn't play the game.

I think he's just paid somebody to play the game for him.

And now people are tracking his account because it's a, you know, he's like, oh, it's a hardcore character.

It's like the hardest difficulty.

Oh, yeah.

I've got all the best gear.

But that's...

How did he ever have time for this?

Well, this is it.

Exactly.

He was like, he killed a boss.

And then he, but, and he was picking stuff up off the ground, but he was like dragging it into his inventory, like from the ground.

I've never seen anybody do that before.

Like,

this is something that your mom would do if, like, you said, here, try Path of Exile 2, mom.

See what you think.

And like, she'd just be figuring out like the UI and stuff.

You know what I mean?

Like, so he's like, this isn't somebody who is like, you know, number five in the hardcore ladder, like, who's played 500 hours of the game in two weeks since it came out.

Listen, if, if, if he's saying, oh, I'm the best person, the best player of the world at Polytopia or Civ, like, like...

like fucking Mark Zuckerberg says, then, you know, that's fair enough.

That's fairly unverifiable.

And I've had plenty of people tell me that, and then I've played multiplayer with them and they're absolute garbage, right?

So it's fine, right?

But part of Excel 2 is this game where you need to put in thousands and thousands and thousands of hours and it's like he Eon Musk's one of these people who he pays people to do everything for him right he he's half of his children aren't even his like he's like I don't even have time to have sex with this woman I'm just gonna use artificial insemination because that's the best way to get her pregnant fast and do you know what I mean it's like it's not even do you know what I mean he's he's his time is so precious but paths of XL is the opposite of that it's like an absolute thief of time you need to put in the hours and I just feel like it's a really bad choice on his behalf to have picked that as the game that he's good at.

I just like the same with Zuckerberg and stuff as well.

I hate that like,

you know, they feel like

their ego is at such a point where they feel like they have to come across as some sort of genius or the best at everything.

You know what I mean?

It's like, okay, yeah, you've already made more money than almost everyone ever.

Like that can be your thing.

You don't have to also be the best at POE or silverware.

You know, like Shaq was a good basketball player.

He didn't go to the nursery and then tell everybody he was better at coloring than everybody.

You know what I mean?

Like it's

just a good basketball player.

Just leave it.

You know, like, just rein yourself in a little bit.

Do you have this a little bit, right?

Because you're a billionaire.

No, with Warhammer models and stuff.

Because we do games tonight.

We do loads of things.

And I want to paint up an army.

And I do one model and I get like a headache.

And so then I pay a guy to do it.

But I don't say I've done it myself.

yeah and you don't claim to like be the best either it's like stolen valor right I almost feel terrible about it and in fact I often shout out like every time I play with models I'm like I didn't paint these I got them on eBay or I paid this guy do you know I mean and I give them a shout out because it's their work you know but Elon's got some airtight

Apparently I read that he has one of the most airtight NDAs in the industry with like the guys who are speed running and power leveling him in like Diablo and Parsons of Exile and it's like well why I've always been really there's always that option, right?

Every time you log into any game ever, like, especially MMOs, there's always some adverts in chat saying, oh, I'll level you up.

Oh, and it's the same.

You get it in Doto as well, right?

Like, you get people who've bought their accounts and stuff.

And it's like,

what is the point in doing that?

I'll never understand it.

The whole point of the game is the journey of getting there and earning it yourself.

That is the point.

That is the point.

Or never getting anywhere, just playing it, enjoying yourself.

It's just meant to be like fun, a fun home.

It just does.

You know, what they're doing.

my my conclusion from all of this stuff i've seen especially from from musk and to a lesser extent from zuckerberg money can't buy you happiness is genuinely genuinely one of the most true sayings because these guys are clearly not happy no you they've you look at elon musk would you tell me that he seems like a happy guy who's who's like content no he's the richest man in the world by far and he's still miserable he's still looking for some validation

looking desperately for for some community to take him in

he's just trying to poison everything like he just everything he touches i don't think he actually gives a shit no

on a fundamental level he doesn't he wants acceptance from some group yeah here's the thing right it's just crazy if you were him and you were in his shoes and you were the richest man in the world and you could have anything you wanted ever and every decision you made some man you would never hear from me ever again you would not see me in the news you would not ever hear a peep from me again.

I would be too busy banging everybody on my yacht all the time.

I would be

far too busy.

Well, he's been doing that.

But the thing is,

he lives in this kind of world that's so weird.

Okay.

It's almost, and he thinks he's completed the simulation.

Do you see what I mean?

Like you talk to his ex-girlfriends and wives and stuff, and they say he is living in this dream world that because he thinks everything's a computer generated, right?

He's sort of, he hasn't spoken about it recently, but apparently he still believes that he's kind of won the simulation and now he's just meditating with him.

I wish everybody would spur him on more to go to Mars so he would fuck off and never have to hear from him ever again.

Just

he does a lot of ketamine.

That would be amazing

if you colonize Mars.

And I hope you fucking rot there as well by yourself because we don't want you here or need you.

All right, let's lift the moot.

Let's lift the move because Elon Musk will bring anybody down, I think.

All right, this is...

Hi, guys.

All right, this is quite a funny one.

Hi, guys.

This is an email about Henry Hoovers.

You know, you know, Henry Hoovers are.

Yes, yes, I love it.

Hi, guys.

Please kick my name out of this, as the company has eyes everywhere.

Oh, no.

Okay.

Brackets, cheeky Henry joke there.

Very, very good.

Here are a few things based on what has been spoken about in prior podcasts.

I used to work in the finance department at the company that makes Henry Hoovers down in Somerset.

There were a few things that stood out.

I can't do a Somerset accent.

I could just do generic country accents.

So apologies, anonymous.

These little things are so damn robust, the return and failure rate on them is around one percent.

They are cheap to produce, they cost about 27 pound in materials to make and sell for around a hundred pounds.

Yeah, that's great.

Holy geez, might be obvious, but Henry is everywhere.

Photos on nearly every wall, floor, tool, or something that isn't even open to the public.

They go all out.

Uh, and I'm looking, there is a photo of the finance area, and indeed, I will post this for you chaps.

So, he's just staring out at you, is he?

Actually, such a great product, though.

Like, we've we've owned not even that many in our lives because they nothing ever seems to go wrong with them.

Touchwood, I don't want anything.

Well, they got a 1% failure rate.

So this is the finance area.

Look, there's stacks of Henry Hoovers everywhere.

Yeah, yeah.

You can get like little USB desk ones and stuff, too.

They're really cool.

Yeah, yeah.

They aren't.

Well, a great British company.

No, that's not.

Yeah, a great British company.

Look at that.

Look at that reception.

I can imagine what the outside of that building looks like.

What if it was just a giant Henry?

Oh, yeah, it might be.

Yeah.

Yeah, it could well be.

Just looming on the landscape.

We've got a like a normal Henry Hoover with like, you know, the face on it and stuff, but we also got one of like those,

it's, it's a bit like a dustbuster, but it's got like a long attachment.

You got to get these like bags and stuff, but it's a Henry product, but it's, it's not branded the same way, you know, it looks like a more like a serious product, but it's like a cordless handheld thing.

It's got a little battery and you have to, you put the bag in.

It's in this like cylinder see-through.

But man, it's really good.

And it comes with scent pods as well.

You could put a scent pod.

So when you're, when you're, it's like for spot hoovering, you know, you wouldn't do like a big serious, you know, hoover of your whole house with it.

It's just, you know, oh, the kids made a mess here.

It's for it's a power thing.

Yeah, yeah.

But then we got like vanilla scent pods for it.

So you can, you know,

it smells fucking glorious.

It's both done.

Yeah, it's really nice.

All right.

This is this one's from Luke.

In a few different episodes, you've talked about flying, and I have a related question.

I'm not the most frequent flyer, but I have had to take a reasonable number of long-distance flights in the last few years, and there's something I've noticed that always confuses me.

Through luck of the draw, my checked bags always seem to be one of the last to come out when the number of people waiting is dwindling.

I have no complaints about this.

I understand the busy guys and girls behind the scenes, but there are always some bags that come out towards the front that are not collected, seemingly even after mine comes out.

This is several bags, more than one group's worth.

My question is, what are those people doing?

Where are they?

They haven't got anywhere else to be.

It's not the flight staff, as I saw them picking up their bags.

The time between leaving the plane and me collecting my bag is usually a significant amount of time.

So it's not like they're just in the toilet or something.

It's a good question.

Some people drink a lot on flights.

Maybe they're just getting so pissed that they forget that they have luggage and they leave.

One.

This is the mailbag as we said answers in, not fucking more questions.

That's true.

Yeah, we're going to go off on one now.

Two,

I think it

could be mislaid baggage, right?

Like stuff that's put on the wrong flight.

It does happen.

I've had my baggage.

It could well be because

when you do lose your luggage, if it does happen to you, usually they're tracking it and they'll tell you where it is.

So like if you're

going round and round floating about your work and your bags ended up in Hawaii, well, those bags are just still going out onto the the carousel and making the rounds.

Like, they probably know that they're there, but they'll just collect them and then ship them off back to New York as soon as they can.

We've located your luggage.

It's in Sheboygan.

So, I this is

that really, really snowy Saturday.

Yes.

And we got to the, we left the hotel at like 10.

We, we, we, we drove our hire car back.

We dropped it off.

It was all fine.

A bit stressful because, you know, know, it was like a two-hour drive.

Anyway, got on the plane and we were delayed because it was like, oh, there's delays from, we can't take off because of, I think the plane wasn't ready or whatever.

Anyway, we left about two hours late.

And then when we got to Bristol airport, we were circling and you couldn't see anything out the window.

It was like a massive snowstorm.

It's like a blizzard.

They're like saying on the intercom, like, we're just circling until we get a chance to land.

The pilot did try and land once and then like pulled away again.

Yeah.

And it was like one of those like, oh, yeah,

those are really,

you're like almost shit in your pants.

Yeah, they're spooky.

Well, it's the classic thing.

Bristol airport, it's a shit airport.

It's

anyway, I've complained about it plenty of times.

But eventually they shut the runway and we got diverted to Cardiff.

Oh, no.

And we landed at Cardiff and it was like a ghost airport.

There was no one fucking there.

Well, there probably a lot of stuff had been cancelled that day because of all the snow and stuff.

We had to go down these like rickety stairs to get off the plane and then we had to like run like all the way across the time i into the building which was all like wasn't lit up and there was like one guy they'd brought in to do the passports and then there's like was it we went through into the

it was rather

it was tom jones was manning the uh

was manning the carousel yeah he was handing out the bags and um and so then they sort of they put and so it was so late by that point it was it was like midnight um we um bloody fucking

i just called an uber and got an uber back but then that was an absolute nightmare because it was, it was snowing so hard, and the taxi driver just didn't seem to notice.

Like, there were trucks going by on the other side, like splashing slush, like across the whole windscreen of his car, and he was just like

through it.

It was the hair racing, dude.

Um, really frightening, and and we, we, we eventually got back at like 1 a.m.

in the morning.

It was, it was, it was nuts.

Um, I cannot, cannot recommend that, but it was so weird going through an airport that was like totally you know, they had to quickly just pull in staff, you know, it's like, oh shit, there's a a plane being diverted in you go and they unlock the place and um yeah just weird but kind of cool damn bundle and safe with expedia you were made to follow your favorite band and from the front row we were made to quietly save you more expedia made to travel savings vary and subject to availability flight inclusive packages are at all protected tires matter they're the only part of your vehicle that touches the road tread confidently with new tires from tire rack whether you're looking for expert recommendations or know exactly what you want, Tire Rack makes it easy.

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All right, this one, this one is anonymous.

I had a follow-up.

This is a good email.

And then the follow-up said, in all caps, please disregard and do not read this on the podcast.

And I asked why, and they've responded and said that they just wanted to be anonymous.

So you're going to be anonymous.

Don't worry, chat.

I've attached an audio file that I believe may be of interest to the podcast, and especially to Lewis.

For context, on a recent holiday to Belgium, we visited an amusement park located near the French border called Plopseland de Pana.

This is a rather large park with multiple areas, all themed to very distinctly Belgian children's TV shows.

In the Vic the Viking land section of the park, the attached music was playing in the background.

I'm going to pop this on the Discord so that you guys can hear it.

Now, I want you to hear it, and then we'll discuss.

Right, okay.

Oh.

It's tiggy diggy home.

Oh my god, you can sue them!

Oh my god,

finally!

Somebody's taking the bait!

You can sue them.

You can actually sue these guys.

Plopsalan, you are fucked up.

You guys are fucking fucking.

You said a lawyer's poor.

You guys are fucking

coming with it.

You guys are fucking done.

We can retire.

We can fucking retire, guys.

Oh, my God.

Plopsiland, thank you so much for fucking up like this.

Oh my god, we're done.

We're done.

We're free.

We can retire.

Holy shit.

Oh my god!

That is 100% diggy-diggy hole.

Oh, it might be a big deal.

So a million percent.

But that's fine.

I want that.

I want people to play.

You're sitting on a gold storm.

You violate!

You fool!

Listen, if Elon Musk uses it on his stream, we're tune in.

But

pops the lounge, you're good.

Like, you know, maybe they'll use whatever.

What are you doing?

You don't know anything about it.

Imagine he came out to diggy-diggy hole.

Buildy, buildy hole.

Hall, surely.

Buildy, buildy, buildy hall.

Oh, man.

I can't believe you're not suing Palopsaland, the children's theme park that no one's heard of in the UK.

Yeah,

that's cheeky, though.

That is cheeky.

It's not cheeky.

It's good.

I like it.

I tell you what, really cheeky.

The thing is, if you go on Spotify, you'll find that Diggy Dee Hole has made its way onto a bunch of like metal playlists and other sort of playlists.

Yeah, those lows did a cover of it.

I think it has, well, it's partly because of the the um yeah the much more successful uh windrose cover of it and so but as you as a lot of people who've never heard of the yogscast know and love diggy diggy hole and so it is just out there and and i'm cool with it no it's not just out there it's it's a song that you guys painstakingly wrote uh and uh and they've they've just nicked it well it's not listen listen if it was the other way around you think the people you think the the suits at popsiland would hesitate that they would say we're glad that uh that the yogscast are using using Plopsalan's copywritten material.

No, they'd come down to you like a ton of Belgian bricks.

I see a good point.

Chocolate

first.

And you just send them the strongly worded cease and desist.

We get in there before they get in.

Yeah, because they protect your copyrights.

You don't protect it.

It's gone.

And suddenly, all your old videos with Diggy Diggy Hole on, suddenly you're getting letters from Plopsiland saying, actually, we own the rights to Diggy Diggy.

Yeah, they're going to take it over.

They're going to claim ownership.

Yeah.

You've got to protect your neck.

Well, look, we don't, like we said, we're not doing this for

the money,

we're doing it for the love of the game, all right.

I did read a post yesterday on one of the trifle subreddits, which was I've read a few, they're very angry lately.

Why?

Very cross about what?

Uh, they're not happy about the especially the spaces emails.

Oh, that one, which we haven't spoken about in a long time.

No, that's been a while, yeah.

Um, but yes, they're they're I'd say generally very cross.

Uh,

Some people are.

Yeah.

Well, I'd say quite a few.

Please, please never talk about spaces again is the thread.

28.

There was someone, I didn't even understand what this sentence meant.

I'll have to look it up for you.

Jesus Christ.

I heard people whining about the spaces topic more than the lads talking about it.

That's from Happy Hens.

Thank you.

And then someone says, I take a whole podcast of spaces over Lewis reading AI haikus any day.

Wow.

Well, I get it.

That's a big one.

I do have a hatred of haikus, but I'm not using it for content.

And I'm telling you, it's AI.

It's not like I'm actually hiding it.

The thing about AI now is it's, and it's going to be, I complained about it on the last podcast as well, but it's everywhere.

And you don't even know now.

It's like, it's already like integrated.

You just don't realize.

So this looks a disaster.

It's so, so bad.

It's not even funny, ironically.

This really confused me.

It feels like something the weird kid in school would say to sound pseudo-intellectual.

Congrats, you managed to waste a large amount of time being pedantic in the stupidest way.

I can't believe the airtime it was allowed.

Follow-up email.

Also, just to add, this isn't an email, this is a message on Reddit.

The response from Pyrrhion's Mateov, then it worked perfectly.

Lumfow.

That is the most classic cop-out response as if he was ragebaiting all along and not being, and this is a sentence that confused me, Lanar Wall bacons at midnight, my lady.

Yes.

What does that mean?

It's just

all random.

Either way.

People very cross.

Calm down.

It's just, it was just a story.

Maybe they're not even real people, though.

Maybe they are AI cross people, you know?

Well, Maybe they're trying to get us all riled up.

Maybe they're trying to get us riled up so that we can hit our peak, you know?

Like all of a sudden, we just like, we become.

Listen to this one.

Can anyone explain this thing Lewis does?

Why on earth does Lewis keep doing this thing where he wants to say something, but it's like he's making the sentence up as he's speaking?

For example, episode 304, 19 minutes.

This is the direct quote.

I think sometimes people find that someone, someone they speak to, this is a very, very common.

Someone they speak to, they feel like they're listening, they're listening, right?

And it's easy to open up to people you don't really know.

And it's, I think you would just be, may be polite or responsive.

And he felt some sort of kindred.

Maybe he was a secret board man.

So that's

what I said.

Okay.

You do, you do, I mean, we all ramble from time to time.

It's a podcast.

I would love, it doesn't think about what he's going to say before speaking.

Who does that?

Well, you don't sit there and think, oh, how's this sentence gonna go should i say and there or should i say then you start talking and you attempt to get the point across that's lodged somewhere in your brain using language that's the whole point of speech is you don't think about every word you're going to say and sometimes thoughts are forming as you're speaking and you add on to the point you're originally making like your brain and and language is very complicated you don't plan out what you're going to say like you plan out what you're going to have for lunch and get everything ready like you don't start making a sandwich and then get all the bits and think oh what am i going to put in this you get the stuff and assemble it.

But a sentence, a thought, an expression of an idea, of course, you don't plan it out.

And sometimes it ends up being rambling.

Yeah, I'm a simple man.

When I make a sandwich, I'm just putting cheese in there.

Yeah.

See, he said that.

He didn't think, what am I going to say now?

Shall I say, I am a very simple man?

No, I could say, I'm a very simple man.

No, no, I'll say I am because it's more forceful.

I am a very simple man.

When I make a sandwich, I just put cheese in there.

I'll say that full stop.

Well, listen, it could be dementia.

It could just be rambling.

It could just be, I don't know what I'm doing.

But also, it could be that Tom Hazel has just not edited me very well.

That's real Tom's fault.

I think we should play better.

I think Tom.

If I don't make any sense, Tom, that's your fault.

Yeah, Tom.

Poor Tom.

God.

Just consider what you're listening to here, guys.

At least you're getting the genuine article.

Yeah.

It could be one of those hyper-edited shits but this is this this this is just a natural chat and sometimes i think people do talk

i think this podcast has remained pretty consistent though i don't think it's changed that much and i think for the length of time that it's been running i think you'll always get uh an element of this because i think people start watching something or listening something and they get really into it and then after a while it grates on them you know like uh it's it's just it's been around too long they've listened to it for too long and then uh, but they still listen to it, but they start to hate it, you know, right.

And then and

then they complain about, and then they, and then they complain about it.

Like, I think a lot of stuff that is, is long running suffers from that, you know, like you, you, you, you, there is a degree of that, you know, where it's just people get.

Are you saying you want to stop doing the podcast?

No, no, I'm not saying that at all.

I enjoy doing it.

I, I, it's like such a nice routine comfort thing to do.

It's, yeah, it's

very catch up and stuff.

Chat as well.

It's like chatting at the pub.

We don't.

Yeah, it's just us having a chat.

People are like, I can't believe the airtime that was allowed.

Like, we fucking have an agenda.

Like, no, we're just throwing this together as a conversation.

I mean, you know, I do plan out.

I make a note during the week.

I have a little text file on my desktop.

I think I've mentioned this before.

If something happens during the week that I think, oh, I'll talk about that on the podcast.

I'll make a note of it.

That's it.

God, there's such a clear male.

There's a beautiful bird song coming in through your mic.

I know.

I'm sorry about that.

No, don't be silly.

No, it's wonderful.

Far better than the drilling or whatever it was yesterday.

Well, the bird was the one doing the drilling, but he's taking it.

It's so clear.

It's like he's on your shoulder.

It's in crow.

God, nature truly is

fucking lit, isn't it?

Just listen for a sec.

Hopefully, it comes through on the recording.

Hold the mic out the window.

Yeah.

Come on.

It's on an mic out there.

Stop talking and you can hear it.

You guys are like my kids.

So I'm going to do it now.

He just did it.

I didn't hear it.

Oh, you know what maybe it's like like uh voice

yeah it's voice activated yeah oh

oh there i can hear there you heard it

all right this this one is cool and this is a rare email this is called an apology to pyrion oh my god okay i cannot wait for this Yes, thank you.

This is from Matthew.

I just wanted to personally apologize to you, Pyrrian.

As I mostly only experience you through this podcast, or a tiny corner of the lads playing Dota terribly, I tend to have an image of you in my mind of being a dad who doesn't care terribly about his fashion and probably just wears old t-shirts with mustard stains on them.

Watching the jingle jam made me realize you actually do wear nice clothes, and my mental image of you was unjust and cruel.

I'm so sorry.

Cheers, lads.

Hope you have or had a great Christmas with your friends and family.

Matthew, thank you so much.

Oh my god, when's where's my favorite?

I really do try to buy, I really do try to buy nice clothes and I try to wear uh stuff that I think looks good.

Um, and I've been on a bit of a mission to not wear drab colours as much as possible.

I will avoid wearing outfits that lack a splash of color.

So for example, I bought a hoodie.

It's a polo hoodie.

It's it's sort of mint green.

And I bought a jumper the other day.

It's quite bright yellow.

And somebody commented on that jumper when I was out in Bristol.

I said to the doorman, I'm just popping into the loo,

but I'm here with these guys because the pub was packed and they weren't letting many people in.

And he was like, yeah, I remember you, mate.

Don't worry.

I wouldn't forget someone wearing that jumper.

And I I was like, What?

This isn't like outrageous.

It's just a yellow jumper, but every other bloke was wearing black, brown, blue, beige, white.

That's it.

No colors that sparkled, that gave people joy.

Nothing.

It's all just dull, uniform colors.

So my whole thing is, I'd like to wear more colors: pinks, purples, yellows, oranges, bright colours, greens.

Let's go.

Yeah, go for it.

So I try to do that.

I just don't.

I just don't acquire new clothing that often.

Do you also wear the clown nose?

You call me a clown.

You call me a fucking clown.

Do you have the big honking shoes as well?

The big red ones when every step you take, it goes...

Those ones?

Or is that the nose that does that?

I just want to spread a bit of joy.

I understand.

The day I take...

fashion advice from a man who lives in a garage and a man who once dressed as a samurai for a full year is a day you can put me straight in the bin.

Thank you very much.

Well, I don't think our fashion sense is entirely dissimilar, though, Flex.

I think we, we, we, you, you have more button-up shirts than I do, though.

Uh, whether you button them up or not is uh, is irrelevant, but um, I think we kind of dress mostly the same, you know?

I don't think that's true.

No, every time we've met, I would say the way you dress and the way I dress are substantially different.

Really?

What's like I left behind the button-up shirts when I was 25, Jeremy?

I mean, for a start, I've only really seen you wear sort of casual stuff like shorts.

Right.

You wear shorts a lot.

I don't wear shorts that much, especially.

I only wear them in the summer.

I've never seen you in a brightly colored jumper, for example.

No, true.

You wear a baseball hat quite often.

I never do.

That's true.

That's true.

And I would say, in general, the color scheme I would associate with you would be the aforementioned standard male fashion range colors.

Whereas I try to do the opposite of that.

Right.

Okay.

Well.

So that's why I would say wrong fact you

can't be.

You got it wrong that's fine have you guys read anything about these malibu fires and stuff

yeah i've heard

celebrities like paris hilton's house has been burned down no i didn't know that but um but i mean these are this is like uh

mostly the a very affluent part of la that is burning down yeah oh yeah um james wood's house burned down which is hilarious the palisades the palisades yeah pacific palisades and uh but a lot of the houses up there multi multi-million dollar houses

some of the houses that burn some of the responses to these people losing their homes it is sad like anytime you see someone's home

burned down of course it is very sad but James Woods burned down and that was actually quite funny because he was

he's a dick

and this other guy uh who was like I'm a corporate bigwig and I don't agree with paying taxes uh we shouldn't have to pay any taxes was then on Twitter saying does anyone know any private private firefighters?

I'll pay whatever it takes.

My house is about to burn down, please help.

Uh, and it's like, if you live that is such a fucking American thing to do, isn't it?

I've got money.

Can I get some privately funded firefighters over here?

Yeah, so I heard they recruited like 400 prisoners to fight the fires as well for like $1 an hour.

What a fucking world.

You're hiring prisoners for a dollar an hour to save the millionaire or billionaires holiday homes.

Absolutely.

Give me a fucking break.

It's apocalyptic.

There's a thing where Jamie Lee Curtis was like, uh, was tearfully recounting how her kids' school burned down.

And I, at the time, I said to my wife, like, I bet you they're not too sad about their school burning down.

Like,

you know what I mean?

Fuck me.

If I was at school and my school burned down, I would be like, oh my God.

I would be

incredibly

gone.

It's going to be off for years.

Act of God, a true act of God.

Man, she was so hot back in the day, Jamie Leake.

It's very 80s with the short hair and the sort of quiet.

I don't want to.

I'm not poking fun.

I mean, your house burning down.

It doesn't matter who you are.

That fucking sucks.

And like the whole situation, obviously, is awful.

And it's a shame that there's so much

weird blame being passed around and stuff too, like at such a time.

It's very classy at all, is it?

Everybody's pointing out.

People weren't meant to live in fucking LA in the first place, were they?

Like, it's just a shitty, scorched, smoggy desert full of fucking.

It's growing, it's shit.

And it's earthquakes and fucking fires.

Droughts.

Big droughts.

It's just a disaster of a place.

But it's huge.

My God, it spans.

So, like, when you fly into it, you look out at the horizon and it's just non-fucking stop, man.

It's crazy.

I mean, California, I went to California a couple of years ago.

I love the state.

It's beautiful.

It really is.

But LA, as you say, was definitely not meant to have that many people living there because there was no fucking water.

The river that runs through LA was very little.

So they had to bring all this water from elsewhere there.

And that's the reason that LA prospers.

Yeah, and then Tom Selleck stole all of it as well.

So Tom Selick with his lawn has ruined LA.

It's his avocado farm.

He was

no fire in the hydrants because he took all of it for his avocado farm.

That's why.

Nobody wants to speak the truth on this matter, but

if you dig deep, you'll find it.

You'll find a lot of it.

A lot of this can be traced back and blamed on it.

Don't worry.

Tom Hanks's $26 million house

has been saved.

Oh, good.

But the one next door burned down.

Oh, no.

Who'd live next door?

It was another Tom.

Tom Bombardil.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Holy shit.

His hobbit hole burned down.

Yeah.

Damn.

Tom Bombardil isn't a hobbit.

Oh, you thought Tom Bombadil was a hobbit.

Oh, six.

Oh, dear.

Oh, but we got TV real about that one.

Oh, no.

Was he that one?

No.

I think it might be Eugene Levy, Steve Gutenberg.

Steve Gutenberg.

And Adam Brody, like John Gutman.

God, dude.

They've been off the under the radar for quite some.

They kept that quiet.

Look at that place.

Well, I'm sure it looked great before.

Some pimped out house.

Yeah, fucking hell.

Steve Gutenberg.

I guess Steve Gutenberg must have made some money, though.

Oh, fucking, who knows?

He was in, like,

he was in, like, six police academy movies.

And when I was eight years old, they were like huge.

They were like the he was in police academy movies.

He was in cocoon.

Oh, cocoon.

He was in

the boys from Brazil.

He was a small part in that.

He gets killed by Nazis at the start.

He's been in a few other things.

But then

his career vanished because I think he tried to become a serious actor.

Oh, and

he failed.

Yeah, you don't, you, I don't remember seeing him in anything after Police Academy, basically.

But

I don't think he was well.

Being in Police Academy, if that's all you're known for, is probably fine.

Like, I don't think it's going to make that much.

I think the first at least four movies of Police Academy were pretty good.

Maybe.

And then the first one.

It was an ensemble cast.

The fifth one, I think, was the Miami one.

And then the sixth one was Mission to Moscow.

And I think,

actually, that was the beach one.

I think that was the Miami one as well.

I think that would have been five, Police Academy five.

I might be wrong.

I'm not looking this up, by the way.

I'm going entirely by my memory of the Police Academy franchise.

The first one was Citizens on Patrol.

I think was the first one.

It was when

they were at the academy and they were trying to become police officers.

And then all the police went on strike and then they had to police the streets.

There was like a, like a riot.

The second one, I can't remember.

The third one had Bobcat in it, I think, but he was a criminal.

And then I'm pretty sure in the fourth one, Bobcat became an officer.

Oh, my God!

And then

the fifth one was the Miami one.

The sixth one was the Moscow one.

And then nobody paid any attention to Police Academy ever again.

So, well, you say that, but there have been seven, apparently.

Right.

What was the seventh one?

I have no idea.

But in 2009, Gutenberg mentioned that Disney was developing a second sequel to Three Men and a Baby entitled Three Men and a Bride.

He was in that with Tom Selick.

Yeah, and Ted Danson.

Ted Danson.

Yeah, Ted Danson, Tom Selick, Steve Gutenberg.

It all comes back around to Selle.

It always comes back to fucking Selenium.

Empresario, dude, avocados, sequels, water.

He's behind it all.

We got to get like a UFO subreddit or something on this.

There's a conspiracy foot.

I can't really, I can't quite put my finger on it yeah we can't grasp it but

there's something off with this guy there's something i agree there's something here there's some there's some substance there hey have you been watching the new season of the traitors no but mrs f and my youngest are big fans so they yeah it's been a good one so far it's three episodes a week so it just goes did lewis go last no no no i'm listening i'm listening i'm i'm i'm just i i don't know like the traitors is very um it's very telly isn't it yeah it is very like it is television he's right it's very telly have you guys seen any

fucking how bad the

Mr.

Beast squid game is, Beast Games?

No.

It was this huge, huge show.

I choose not to waste my time that way.

There's other ways I prefer to waste my time.

I waste my time in more music.

It's like, obviously, Mr.

Beast watched Squid Game and sort of...

got completely the wrong message from it, and then recreated it in a kind of awful way where where people have to sort of kind of basically in order to survive they kind of have to beg everyone else to let them survive right because a lot of the stuff is like people you know people say well i deserve the money because i want to live on a passive income for the rest of my life and i really need this so can you can you give up and let me win and i'm going to cry for a while it's just like the worst it creates these the worst moments from from people tom hanks' house doesn't look like it has a lot of parking

looking at it.

What does he want?

A multi-story?

How does he need it?

How many cars to people need to do?

Maybe if his house survives all this, maybe you should consider one because I'm not sure where you're parking cars in this place.

Oh, I think it's a big one.

I think the house is so big, Sips, that that small thing on the left is the garage, and that can probably hold about four or five cars.

That's a pool house.

That small thing on the left is definitely a pool house.

It looks the same.

Yeah, because there's the pool.

But if you look,

I mean, the size of things here, first of all, I suspect around the back of all this, because you're not going to have the cars parked at the front with this amazing view.

There's probably an access road with a garage around the back there.

I mean, there could be, we don't know how big the ground stretch at the back there.

When we were in LA, we saw Leonardo DiCaprio's pad.

It's fucking enormous.

Like they have a huge lead up to these properties.

This is just the house.

They've got these grounds.

I remember these ones.

Like, look at that road at the back there.

Like, it looks like, you know,

it looks close to the road.

And then you've got like that lower road.

What's that just at the access road?

You drive around.

No, no, no, no.

That's just a place that's those are roads.

Like, I'm not kidding.

So that road at the top there, that's like the tours go around there and they point and say, there's Tom Hanks.

Yeah, but that's close, though.

There's not that much separate.

There's trees for privacy and stuff, but there's only like a line of them.

There's not that much.

Dude, look at his house.

He's on the hillside.

He's got an amazing view.

How many bedrooms do you think is in that?

Look at the windows on the right side.

There's at least what?

Yeah.

Six, seven.

I don't know what that right side thing is.

It looks like a car park.

It looks like a multi-story car park on the side of the house.

Sort of weird.

weird i don't know what that looks like

like it's probably like it's a three-story and there's probably a huge basement there's another separate building around the back there's like 15 bedrooms in this place holy man he's got look at that what's that chimney like do you think that's what do you think that that's hooked up into i ac i would say oh you think it's an ac stack like a cool or it might be that something like that could be yeah but then look at his like his lawn is not that big like it's it's perfectly manicured but it's not huge is it No, it's not.

It's quite, quite respectfully sized.

Yeah.

Certainly not as big as, say, an avocado farm.

No.

I think Tom Hanks is the good Tom, and Tom Selica the evil.

I don't know.

And I've always been a fan of Tom Selik.

Tom Hanks, didn't Tom Hanks sort of reveal his hand a little bit a couple of years ago?

What didn't he?

Wasn't he like shirty with somebody who insulted his wife or something?

And then people were like, oh.

Maybe Tom.

I mean, if someone insulted Mrs.

F, I don't have a fucking ball.

But

he was like especially shitty about it.

Shall we do lose news?

Yeah, lose news.

What?

What is news?

Lose news.

So speaking of massive internet cunts,

like

guilty as charge.

Notch the cunt who made Minecraft.

He

has apparently tweeted he wants to make Minecraft 2.

And he's sent this, he's sent these bizarre tweets.

I think like he's, he's just a bit like, he's just a bit of a prick um

he also said one saying saying i have a tiny penis he literally tweeted that so he says here um i intend for the money to be spent for good right right which i assume is in reference to like how much money he made from minecraft and he's hoping that he's thinking that microsoft are doing a shitty job with it and he wants to make a minecraft too and he's going to spend some of his vast wealth on it i think somebody beat him to it already it's called roblox

Yeah, the world's changed.

It's too late, notch.

Like, I don't understand

when people get very, very rich.

You know, Warren Buffett.

He's one of the richest men in the world as well.

I know him very well.

He's old.

He's fucking old.

He joined the Bill and Melinda Gates giving pledge back in the day, which was this idea that, you know, he signed this thing, which basically said,

I could.

you know, even 1% of the money I have won't change my level of happiness in any way, but it will change other people's happiness.

You know, if I give away 99% of my wealth, so I'm going to do that.

And of course, recently, he turns out he's gone back on that.

And he's actually now just putting all of his money into a charitable foundation that's run by his like three kids, who are, by the way, ancient as well.

His children are 71, 66, and 69.

Nice.

His first kid runs this thing called the Sherwood Foundation, which is very vague, but apparently they believe in Nebraska.

They help, so it's basically

Nebraska.

So Nebraska's going to get, I don't know, a third of

Buffett's fortune for something.

The second child runs a child called, runs a charity or foundation, which again, it feels like one of these things that billionaires put together just to launder money called the Novo Foundation.

It doesn't say what it does.

It's got the website basically says it's a holistic healing.

And, you know, it's just a lot of wank and and it doesn't actually do anything apparently and then the third child this is one of the richest men in the world giving literally like hundreds of billions of dollars to these these foundations and avoiding tax by doing it the third child Howard J.

Buffett 69 he his homepage features a lot of armed soldiers and he likes patrolling with the border police in Arizona So that's going to be great.

You know, we'll see we'll see whether whether that wait so hang on this is what is the news the this is lose news right what is the news the news news news was that

notch is going to make notch is going to make my

sorry yeah i forgot about notch sorry but i i sorry randomly segmented

the sauce big time there i just noticed

it's almost like you didn't plan out what you were going to say

before you started speaking i just thought i'd share with you god i can't believe how much airtime warren buffett and his family have had on this podcast today i look forward to the complaints about that

i'm just i just can't wait until the the the turn happens where these billionaires realize that they do need to start working on their image by giving money back to good causes and not just hoarding it like absolute dragons.

It's crazy.

Or please just shut the fuck up.

If you've got billions of dollars, fuck off, man.

Like, okay, we don't need to hear from you at all, ever.

Just be quiet and enjoy your fucking fortune.

You know, like it's...

Give some of it away.

Do something good with it for fucking.

Or don't

fuck off.

Okay, we got it.

a lot of money i know how much do they

need to rub it in my damn face every single day like you know you got a lot of money and guess what i'm not really gonna do much with it

so

because um every year new copyrights expire and apparently 19 95 years ago was 1929

which was when popeye came out and tinted and other things so people are there's actually a film company making a Popeye slasher movie.

Right.

Yeah.

So there's like, you know, because obviously certain other things have been in the public domain for a while, like Sherlock Holmes and

Wizard of Oz and things like that.

So yeah, there's a bunch of things that is it Winnie the Pooh as well that was that was happening.

Yeah, Mickey Moos.

Wasn't there some Mickey Mouse stuff as well that was

yeah, there was, but because you always hear that Disney's trying to fight it.

But yeah, in 2030, Mary Poppins will be out of copyright.

In 2034, Superman will be out of copyright.

Oh,

yeah.

And Bugs Bunny will be out of copyright in 2036.

Oh, good lord.

So get prepping those movies.

Wild times.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Sorry.

I'm spooning, Lewis.

Simon just came into my office and gave me a cuddle.

Say hi.

To who?

Hi.

It's to T.

It's Simon.

Hello, man.

Hello.

Hello.

Wait, Simon.

Simon.

Yeah.

Did you know that there is a theme park in Belgium that is using Diggy Diggy Hole as the background music on one of its rides?

I'm going to fucking sue that.

Yes, Simon.

Yes.

Let's fucking bring it.

Let's get Leonard J.

Krabs involved.

He said, let them.

Let them.

I'm glad.

And I was like, let them.

Are you glad?

I was like, sue these fucking Belgian bastards into the ground.

What has Belgium ever given the world?

Waffles?

Chocolate?

Move free?

That's it?

Chocolate's actually very good.

Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Yeah, but look, all I'm saying is you've got to go to this theme park and you've got to have a rumble tumble with them and figure it out.

Yeah.

I'm not sure how in shape for you.

Unleash the hounds, the legal hounds.

Get the legal hounds.

Yeah.

Get Leonard J.

Krabs and fucking sort that shit up.

Should we just hire a bunch of goons as in the muscly himbo types to just come in and just,

you know, like in the

Mafia movies.

Yeah,

they try and get the protection money.

Yeah, we should do that.

We should do that.

Oh, it'd be a shame if this ride was to be all smashed up and then they'd start smashing all the lights.

They start kicking it.

It's a kids' theme park, by the way.

Well, fuck them, kids.

Well, done.

Not in that way.

No, not in that way.

All right.

Well, I can barely speak.

Yeah, you sound

like a bad thing.

You've had flu for like three weeks.

Oh, my God.

No.

So that's.

So you're just in to spread the residual now to everybody.

Wait, my mum, Simon, my mum also has flu.

Coincidence?

Well, I was French kissing her.

Yeah, I was going to say.

That's nasty.

She's 80, dude.

This flu could be dangerous, though.

That is naff.

Did you maybe just sort of

eat her out next time and not kiss her?

Jesus Christ.

She lied about her age.

She said she was 57.

That's within my range.

All All right, I'm going to go get well soon.

Have my cup of tea.

Get well soon.

All right.

See you later.

Bye.

All right.

Thank you.

Good to see you.

Oh, a little cameo.

That's lovely.

That is nice.

That's a yoga throwback.

I felt these arms around my chest.

I was like, what the fuck is this?

It's like frightening, but it's just only Simon can get away with that.

What?

Sneaking in.

Oh, sorry.

Well, sneaking into my sneaking room and giving me into your room and then fucking.

Oh my God, it was quite frightening.

My first thought was like, how has my partner gotten into the office and found me?

And why are they,

you know, when it's, it's like, I couldn't quite believe what was happening.

It's quite frightening.

But it was nice to have a little guest come in and say hi.

God, it doesn't happen very often, eh?

Well, there you go.

I think that's time for the end anyway.

Yeah.

Thanks for joining us, everyone.

I'm sorry for the very inappropriate joke about my mum that I made.

Keep the emails coming.

I was lewd.

Someone said the email about the dead dog was lewd.

And I was like, I don't think you know what lewd means.

Yeah, no, that's not.

But that comment about my mom, that was lewd.

Very lewd.

All right.

We'll see you guys next time.

Thank you for all the emails.

I wish I was on lewds.

If that helps.

Okay, bye.