Triforce! #306: An Emergency Podcast

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Hello, everyone, and welcome back to an emergency Triforce broadcast.

Greg Wallace, Jesus Christ,

semi-enemy of the podcast.

It turns out...

He's been canceled.

He's become public enemy number one.

Well, who could have seen this?

Who could have foretold it?

We were talking about him being a baddie weeks before this all broke.

Yes.

We had an email.

I had an email saying, look, I'm not being funny, but Greg's a piece of shit.

So every time you guys have a kind of jolly Greg Wallace story, it makes me feel queasy.

And I was like, gosh, maybe we should chill with

no positive Greg Wallace news.

So we switched to negative.

We went into negative mode Greg Molly with Greg Wallace and it's paid off big time.

It has.

Thank you.

Now we're at the

cutting edge.

We're right at the zeitgeist of

Greg Coyne is at record high.

Greg Coyne Wallace.

Fucking hell.

Well, look, I don't think we really need to address it too much.

He's a goofy goober who is now, it turns out he's been like, have you been following it?

Like, new stuff is obviously happening

every day.

I've been following it because it seems to have been leading the news every fucking.

I don't even watch the news anymore.

My mates watch the news and they're like, why the fuck is Greg Wallace still the headline story?

Like, it's just every day.

He was, it's not like, it's only the prime minister was found, you know, for all this stuff.

It's not like Kier Starmer is in hot water for

inappropriate shit.

It's a guy who basically was like a middle of the road BBC presenter.

You know, get him gone by all means, you know, but is this the most important thing happening in the world right now?

I guess it's just the thing people are most interested in, seeing Greg Wallace tumble.

It's a nice break from all the other fucking bullshit that's happening.

Now it's like, wait, wait a minute.

Greg Wallace is a cunt.

Whoa.

I've got some news for you guys on a more positive front.

Can we guess?

Yeah.

Guess the news.

Your work is finished.

No.

It's not.

It's not.

No.

But, I mean, it's finished for this year now.

We won't have nothing else until next year.

There's just a couple of little bits and pieces but that's not the main news terry is hibernating oh my god you guessed it in two it's not is it it is oh wow oh

he is um about to hibernate this is his last his last hurrah he's in a little tiny box with some straw that he will uh that he will settle down in I just got to cool him down today.

I got to keep it.

The garage is nice and cool.

So it's just, it's like his like, he's come from the house, which was pretty warm, to the garage, which is pretty cool.

We're going to get his body temperature down to about 13 degrees, and then into the fridge he goes until February.

You put him in the fridge?

Yeah.

We got a little, a little chiller fridge for him to go in.

He has to have

a consistent low temperature for hibernation.

You put him in the fridge?

Yeah.

You can't have him in the middle of the middle.

You're not with the food and everything.

No, no, no.

No, it's like a little tiny fridge that's in the garage.

Yeah.

Is this a special fridge for tortoises?

No, it's just a little drinks fridge.

It's a little Diet Coke Coke drinks fridge.

You can put your Diet Cokes in there when he's not in there.

Wow.

Yeah.

So I've got to open the door for about a minute every day to let some fresh air in for him.

Yeah.

It's going to maintain a very cool temperature of between two and nine degrees Celsius.

So when he's in there, Sips, does he move at all?

Or is he literally just almost dead?

He's almost dead.

His heart rate is down really low.

His breathing is like really, really low.

And he just basically lives off of his fat stores.

And

he goes into hibernation with like a full bladder.

And then he draws from his full bladder

just to keep him kind of on the on the brink of being alive sort of thing.

And he's he's out for about 16 weeks.

And then when we wake him up,

it's another bit of a week-long sort of process of, you know, gently waking him up, exposing him to heat,

giving him a bath,

Giving him warm baths.

Wow.

Stimulating him.

Yeah.

And then he can start eating again.

And then

he's good.

But he hasn't eaten for like three weeks.

Gosh.

Yeah.

Cause he's got to, you got to empty him out.

He's got to be, he's got to have no poop in him.

He's got to, he's got to maintain like some peep, but no poop

because otherwise he can get really sick

while he's hibernating.

It's crazy that this is something that animals do.

It's mad, yeah.

Well, we took him to the vet and the vet was like, yep, he's ready.

He's a good size, good weight.

He's healthy.

You know, you don't have to go the full 16 weeks if you don't want to.

He's trying to get out of this little box now.

I don't know how you have so much energy.

You haven't eaten for like a month.

He's about to go into a coma.

Yeah.

He's about to go into a coma, but he's just like, he's still scaling the walls.

He's still trying to do the great escape.

I love the way vets have to know everything about animals, don't they?

Like, imagine if you had to, if there were like 50 different kinds of human beings that have different organs and different lifestyles and different diets and all the rest of it.

It would be almost impossible.

Hats off to your vet being like, oh, tortoises, yeah, I know all about that.

What the fuck?

How, dude?

How?

I know.

There's certain things that they can definitely help with, like, if things go wrong.

I mean, obviously, like with a lot of animals, if something goes like horribly wrong, you know, like they have like, you know, defects or diseases, you know, some diseases are curable and manageable, but sometimes, you know, because they're small, that's it.

You know, they're not going to, they're not gonna operate on them or anything.

They usually just put them to sleep.

I'm not, I'm not saying that that makes a vet's job easy.

Hang on, sorry.

That's all right.

I think it's actually they're specialized too, though, in a sense, like in the same way that the GP is not a consultant.

You know, GP will be the first line of like detection and identifying problems and then often refer you to someone who's not an expert.

Yeah, it's the same thing with vets.

There are like experts specific animals.

I think your general vet does tend to see the same animals because most people don't keep too much weird stuff as pets.

Yeah, true.

If you have a weird pet, usually you have an exotic pet vet that you can go to who is more of, you know, aware of birds or lizards or whatever, you know.

What have you been up to?

Because this jingle jam is going on like

for me.

I've been watching some jingle jam.

I've had a very bad week, actually.

I don't know if you want me to talk about it on the podcast or not.

You're grumpy.

No,

I had to go to hospital last week.

Oh, no.

I had a panic attack last week.

I've been having them for a few years.

And it was so bad, I thought I was going to die.

That's standard panic attack stuff.

But this was different.

This was like a whole new level.

And I felt like, I just felt absolutely dreadful.

And I had this, you know, you know that feeling you get when your adrenaline spikes?

Yeah.

And it almost comes from the center of your chest, this sort of weird cold feeling and it sort of permeates and your vision sort of becomes extremely acute.

It was like waves of that over and over and over again.

I get that every time I enter into a 1v1 in StarCraft 2.

Of course.

Yeah, it's like that.

I've been around people who've had panic attacks, and it's so strange because sometimes you have no idea what triggered it, or sometimes you're

like in your head, you're like, I don't know why this is happening.

It's really odd.

It's bad.

But this was in the, I just woke up.

It was like 6 a.m.

and it woke me up.

It was that bad.

And I was just sort of having just terrible, what they call like intrusive thoughts, just horrible doom thoughts.

And I just felt dreadful.

So I went into the hospital and it was like a fucking Monday morning or whatever.

So it wasn't busy.

And I went in and I spoke to a doctor there.

And she said, Right, how long have you been having panic attacks for?

And I was like, oh, two or three years.

She goes, and what do you take for them?

I was like, what do you mean?

She's like, who have you seen about it?

I was like, well, no one.

I mean, it's a panic attack.

What's there to be done?

She's like, lovely, what are you doing?

You've got to see someone.

You should see your GP.

I was like, oh, it just hadn't occurred to me to fucking see anyone about this.

So I went to see my GP and he gave me something called Sertraline, which is also called Zoloft.

And it's like an antidepressant, anti-panic medication.

And I've been on that for a little over a week.

The first week absolutely sucked.

This week is slightly better because it exacerbates it at first.

I don't know why.

But it sort of gets worse for a while before it gets better.

But yeah, I'm going to be on those for a while and hopefully that'll

help.

I have no idea what's caused this other than being old and kind of a weird, bad year in various ways.

Maybe that's just it.

Maybe that's all there is to it.

It's weird because I feel like a lot of this stuff that you get built up in your brain is subconsciously troubling you.

You're not literally sitting there consciously thinking about things all the time.

It's just your subconscious is dealing with things.

And eventually your brain is like, do you know what?

you're not handling any of this stuff well.

So I'm going to escalate the situation.

That's how it feels.

I think that is, yeah, that i do you know what i really do believe in it it sounds wishy-washy that it sounds like oh that's why but i think that's why meditation often is very helpful works for people i'm not saying meditation is in you know sit down and say om sometimes just like doing something boring like walking to somewhere or driving somewhere and not kind of like having like just time where you're it's weird to say but bored where you're bored yeah no i think being bored and and just switching your brain off and focusing on something

Your brain works through watch some of my Factorio streams.

Those are really dark.

What the hell were you playing the other day, Sips?

Which other day?

Yesterday.

You were playing something.

Songs of Six yesterday.

Yeah, which is like

it looks so bad.

Oh,

it looks like I was going to say it looks really good.

The graphics, I will admit, are not great, but you do kind of get Two Fortress style graphics.

It's like Two Fortress through it.

It's Rim World scenes through it.

I see.

But it's like

a flash game.

It's enormous.

It's crazy.

You build like this big city, but then you've got this huge world map with like you can conquer, you can trade, like there's factions, there's all these different races and stuff.

You can get these massive cities.

You can make like cities with like 10,000 people in them and stuff.

It's crazy.

It's cool.

It's like lots of just, you know, this typical kind of rim world stuff.

You know, you have people gathering stuff and you build stuff and you, you got to like plan out your cities so that they're efficient.

And then you got to sort of, there's diplomacy with all the other factions.

It's cool.

I'm just getting into it, but

I've really enjoyed it so far.

I could see you were very focused.

Oh, you got it.

It's a very complicated game.

There's a lot of stuff to do and think about and whatever.

It's like

all the races are different.

So the race that I picked is like these pigmen.

who are very good farmers, but they're not very good at anything else.

But you have to balance out, like, you have to feed them all the food that they like.

you got to give them roads.

Like, there's all these things that will make them happy.

And then, the happier

the race is, the more people are likely to immigrate.

We almost lost at one point because it just everybody was starving.

They were starving and they wouldn't do anything.

So, we had to bring in some

like humans and elves and stuff.

But now the colony is not pure.

So, yeah, we're going to have to

pigman

pigman.

You can do there's all sorts of stuff there's like there's like a justice system you there's slave slavery you can you can engage in the slave trade if you'd like to uh it's mad there's just there's so much stuff you can do in it it seems really fun but uh i'm only at the tip of the iceberg right now i'm still just like a little farming hamlet with like 80 people so do you think when people are climbing mountains out in snowy regions they say things like this is just the tip of the iceberg as a joke probably yeah oh and they're like oh like groaning or some you gotta do you'd

icebreakers, yeah, the icebreakers out on the boats, not mountains.

Yeah, you do, you know,

you'd want to break the ice while you're out there socially with people by

just a couple of jokes, yeah.

And they'd say, oh, that one got a bit of a frosty reception, stuff like that.

Yeah, exactly.

Push this man overboard immediately.

Yeah, well, that's probably why they used to push people overboard every once in a while.

It's just got to be too much, you know?

Like,

I can no longer take this, I can't accept this anymore, this behavior.

I've been watching, you know, you know the way we've talked about portage in episodes of your long ago?

I've been watching the Outdoor Boys YouTube channel.

Have you guys seen it?

No.

Yes.

So I think you've talked about it before.

So

I have been fantasizing about going off into the wilds of Alaska and building a snow shelter and so on.

I've been down this route before.

I've been in this headspace before.

Carry on.

And I'm thinking that I would actually not want to do it.

I've decided.

I've watched half of this video.

Would you be up for being a consultant on a video game about that?

Of course.

Okay, great.

Sure.

We're going to make a complete freaking game.

I mean, we've been talking about Dude Sim Alaska for

seven years.

Exactly.

And now we got the financial powerhouse behind us.

Lewis is agreed to bankroll it.

Yeah.

So

we're getting given the green light.

Okay, Dude Sim Alaska.

Let me tell you what I've been playing and see what you think.

So, okay, I play a lot of games on tabletop arena, board game arena, sorry.

It's like a PGA.

It's a website which basically can license board games and digitize them.

And some of them are really, really good.

And there's some very good games on there, like Ark Nova and Wingspan and stuff like this, right?

Terraforming Mars.

And

I've been playing games on there.

I started doing it on COVID and I've got sort of stayed up to date a bit on it lately.

And one thing I've noticed is that a lot of the games now have moved moved to this async format okay so everyone so these are sort of the games where you take about between one move a day and four moves a day and it's a bit like i like that play by mail or something it's very very slow and so what you have is you have and i'm sure it's the same it's been the same for a lot of people because i've seen apps where people are playing scrabble games or something like this games and they're playing them you end up having like 20 20 games on the go

yeah on the go and you come in you look at the state of it and you play around with that and then you go to the next table a little bit like you're one of these chess prodigies who is stood there in a room with 20 different chess tables and you make your way around hmm oh move this on this way and then you move to the next table and you do the next you know next high school kid you you move against them right and as a result of this i got on to um you remember twilight imperium it's it's the biggest i was going to say ti but that would have confused you p flex um

because of

the international the international um a twilight period is is is fantasy flight games, is flagship board.

It's basically the most epic space.

It's like Stellaris, the board game.

It takes eight hours to play

on a good day.

Do you know what I mean?

And it's a tedious nightmare of a game to play, actually.

And it's a free-for-all as well.

So it's kind of a six-player free-for-all, which and it's pretty brutal, too, right?

You can knock someone out fairly early if you wanted to, dick them over.

There's a lot of wheeler dealing.

There's a lot of teaming up as well.

Like, it's very political and it's very kind of...

This sounds a lot like the time we combine four boards of star wars monopoly together and did like one mega game

oh

see that sounds fun and stupid whereas this is kind of

slow and tedious and and and actually so there's a and it's kind of impressive honestly i don't know whether even to talk about it but partly for two reasons one because it's clearly in the gray area of not being allowed um and two because it's kind of bad but the async ti um has built on disc, it's all through Discord, right?

So the whole thing works on Discord.

You get your turn gets pinged to your Discord, you get sent the maps on Discord every other day.

This sounds like taking

like a BBS game from like, you know, the late 80s or whatever.

God, it really feels like Legend of the Red Dragon or something like that.

Did you

know that?

Did you go?

Did you?

Sorry, no, go on, Lewis, because I don't want to discuss it.

No, you can't

pop in.

Because I'll catch up.

Okay, I was going to say, I used to play play-by-mail games where you had to put a money order in with your turn to pay for your turn.

It was like a pound.

Yes.

And you'd send in your instructions, like, move west.

And then you'd get your response.

It would tell you what was at that location.

And there, so that this was how shit things were before the internet, really.

When if you wanted to play a game and you're, you know, you had to fucking post your turn and you'd have to wait days for the reply to come back.

And it would say, like, there is nothing here.

Where do you want to go?

to be like, go west again.

That's another pound.

It was ridiculous.

It was.

I had to do that.

We tried sending you a reply letter over the Christmas period.

It got somewhat delayed.

We just wanted to say that your move was invalid.

You have to redo it.

Exactly.

It's like, what on earth is this happening?

I did this as well.

And, you know, but back then, I didn't have very much pocket money.

So I think I was sending away like a Fiverr in mine.

And, or even more sometimes.

And it would be, you know, you'd be very excited to get the mail back.

But as you said, P Flex, not, it was surprising how disappointing

stuff had happened because you couldn't really send very detailed instructions.

And it was sort of, they'd obviously built this big world and were kind of having different groups of adventurers go around it together and ideally bump into each other or whatever.

But it was all,

I've recently looked because we're doing today, actually, we're doing the Jingle Joust as part of Jingle Jam.

And it's a game called Full Tilt.

And Alex brought in a copy of the old white dwarf from when it was

from like 1995, 1996 or something.

And it's so old, it's full of these adverts from weird stuff that was going on then.

And it's kind of just at the dawn of the age of the internet, but still they've got these legacy things hanging around that have been going for 10 or 15 years, you know, before they've

just gone banging.

I mean, and there would have been guys that are our age now that would have been like internet, no load of rubbish.

I'm going to stick to my play-by-mail games.

And they're still going.

Some of those games are still going.

Well, I would love to know what they are.

If you can't get classics, good play-by-mail.

Because I kind of want to do one just to see if it's

see what it's like.

You know, go to the post box, send my orders out, and you know, get a little letter in the mail that says, you know, your dwarves have died or whatever.

Say, oh, fuck.

I love the idea of that.

So

I'm playing this fucking async TI4, and it's, and it's

on the one hand, it's brilliant what they've achieved and on the other hand it's awful and i think um part of the issue is that you know how

the game isn't designed for async and a lot of the games on board game arena end aren't designed for async either and as a result they have like for example at the end of every round there's a game i play on there called like arknova and i'm called like feast rodin and and at the end of every round you have to press okay about three times you know to confirm all these actions right but the way it works is i have to click and then the next person has to click and then the next person has to click, then I have to click again, the next person has to click.

And sometimes it's 24 hours between those clicks, and it's a load of needless clicks, right?

Um, so sometimes you're like, Oh, is it my turn?

Oh, I've just got to press click.

Okay, just do what I mean because it's not, and it's like, Why have you notified me?

Why that's not, that's not this, and I guess like it doesn't matter because you've got 20 games on, just move on, but I just feel like they aren't optimized.

And the same thing with TI.

TI is this game where there's so much complexity, so many complicated elements, so many things, like anything you do, the other players can respond to.

So you're like, like in Magic the Gathering, for example, if you're in a professional tournament, any card you play can theoretically be countered by the enemy.

So, you know, unless they're playing a deck that run that clearly, like if they're playing mono red, they're not going to have any counter spells.

But,

you know, you almost, most of the time when you're playing magic, you constantly have to be like, do you want to counter this now?

Do you want to do this now?

And so it's the same thing in this thing.

Like you're taking your turn and you take like two actions.

But the first action, someone could theoretically have this rare card that they could respond to you with so you then have to wait like hours for them to have that window to play that and then you can carry on with your turn then you play another thing and then again there could be another sometimes you'll do one action and you'll trigger three different cards doesn't sound fun oh well it's i i get i get it like it's on purpose to realistically and like like take the game and put it into this format and i think maybe they're scared of tweaking it or changing it or modifying it from the original or making it work better in this format.

But some things they have started to change.

But I'm, I'm, I just, because again, it's in this gray area of not being allowed.

And so them improving it or building upon it is sounds like it could be even worse.

Um, I think it also, the other thing is that certain people are very rule sticklers, right?

They can't stand the idea that anyone would suggest a mod.

You get this with other games too, right?

That some people are such,

they really believe that the game developers are God in heaven and that they know exactly what they've done.

And every single choice that those developers made was cleverly, carefully curated.

Like this earth is perfect for us, you know.

The earth was made for us.

And so

they see it as heresy and they fight so hard against any kind of simplification or convenience.

And it's just kind of led to me having a very disappointing experience with it and a frustrating experience with it.

But I just thought I'd shout out because it's so weird and something I've not played before.

And I think I'm seeing a rise in it, though.

I'm seeing a rise in games like this.

Well, I'm just saying, looking up played by male games, there is one called Heroic Fantasy, which has been running since 1982 and is still running.

A guy called Rick Loomis, who was, um, he came up with a game called Tunnels and Trolls, which I think was one of the

origins for Dungeons and Dragons.

I think

it was written by Ken St.

Andre

to be a more accessible alternative to Dungeons and Dragons, which I suppose was quite

arcane back in the day.

I mean, you used to have things like FACO and stuff like that, rather than just the more streamlined version now.

But these games, a lot of them, these guys were in the 70s.

that were inventing games that uh again this is before computer games and the internet were any good yeah um so this was what they did i remember fantasizing about this kind of stuff for ages imagine if you know like world of warcraft the reason it blew me away so much is it was exactly what i'd wanted my whole life and now you don't play it at all no why why would you not why don't you want to get into wow classic pandaria is coming up so the the issue i have with with wow um is that it was it was really fun to play at the time And I think my memories of it are mainly solitary memories.

I don't have memories of being in a a cool guild and having fun with a group of like-minded people.

I just remember playing on my own because

I didn't get into the

Ye Old Goon squad until very late in the day.

I mean, I was in a big guild and I don't have memories of playing in a fun guild with like-minded people either.

Yeah, this is twats.

Right, but that was at least funny.

The guys that I was in a guild with were not fun.

They were like really miserable scandy lads who took the game very seriously.

A couple of of them were

but they were they were just very, very dull people.

They weren't like bad people, but they were just like not much fun.

And I just, you know, when I first got into WoW, I was on the

something awful forums a bit, but it wasn't like a big thing for me.

It became a big thing for me.

But eventually, you know, early on, I was just kind of not really playing games with goons.

I'd play occasional games with goons, like

I think the very early versions of Mount and Blade.

There were multiplayer servers for that where we'd play.

And when I got into EVE Online, obviously that was, you know, that was big on something awful and all the rest of it.

But I missed out on playing

on the Yogs server with you guys, probably by a whisker, because I did end up, when I got bored on my server, I joined that server.

I can't remember, was it Diamond?

Was the server you guys were on?

I can't remember actually.

Diamond.

No, we were on Adventure Co., yeah.

Right, right.

I was on the wrong server.

But I was in Yoggs briefly, made a a new character, and all of you guys are all so high-level that I was just like, is there anyone want to run this instance?

And nobody would answer because they were all off doing level 60 shit.

And I was like, all right, well, I guess I'm done with Wow.

And just

exactly what it's like.

It's a very, very familiar experience.

Yeah.

And I think there is a level of loneliness.

And I think that's that same idea that you're proposing there is how a lot of people feel about board games, right?

It's tough.

Like sometimes you want to play this board game and there isn't any, it's hard to get all your phones around to do it in real life or

to get eight hours to play a game of T.I.

I've been in this game of TI for, I think, about two and a half, maybe three weeks.

And we've done two turns.

That's a better look.

Two turns of the game.

And there's like, it's like 10 turns to get through it, I think.

So it's, it's, it's crazy like how slow it is.

And, but, but, but I do still feel like

I've done it in 10 minute and 15 minute chunks.

It's still going to take the same amount of time out of of my day, except I'm thinking about it and it's in the back of my mind all day.

And

it's like bothering me.

I have felt like we talked about meditation and that low-level subconscious anxiety.

I have carried with me that because in a sense, right, I've, it's the first, I don't have notifications on my phone.

And God help you if you do.

Of any kind of any kind.

I hate being pinged or bonged or notified about anything.

What about when do you get a WhatsApp message?

I have, um, well, I have what I have silent WhatsApp messages on.

Yeah, same.

I mean, my phone is always on silent.

In some groups,

I have muted as well.

Yeah, but WhatsApp is the only thing I have on my lock screen.

My phone is on Do Not Disturb 24-7, but I added three phone numbers that can punch through that.

Both of my kids and Mrs.

F.

If they call the phone rings, but no one else, I think that's fair enough, right?

Isn't that what most people do?

No, that's absolutely right.

But I know a bunch of people who do have their phone constantly dinging.

Oh, yeah.

And I'm like,

why do you do do that anyway?

Um, I've turned on like not notifications, but sort of lock screen notifications for a couple of these async games.

Um,

because I don't want to be the guy who's like holding everyone up or whatever.

Um, not that, but I'm going to probably turn it off again immediately.

In fact, I'm not going to play these games.

I think once I'm done with the ones that I'm playing at the moment, I'm not going to play it ever again.

But I just find it like that low level of stress.

Like, I'd rather have a playable game and have it done than be, I think you have to treat differently.

I think if you're playing 50 board games at a time you're treating it as a different game it's a game with 50 games in it you look at for half an hour a day i think that's the idea and that's that's it instead of playing one game you're like juggling 50 in your mind and that's a different game right um that honestly i don't love i don't love the idea that because it feels a lot of the time like i'm either a i'm maybe i'm just getting old and i'm forgetful like i go back to this game i'm looking at and i'm like oh i can't remember what i was doing with this game at all and yes you can make yourself notes i guess or whatever but like

that um I'm not going to start keeping like this detailed notebook of like my turn.

So I can, do you know what I mean?

Like, I don't want to have to rethink the same game situation every fucking time and keep coming back to these things.

It's, I don't know, like, it's frustrating.

I don't love it.

But, but the whole, I can see again, like, there's the same thing with Warhammer and a lot of these other hobbies where maybe you don't live in an area where you can have a friend and have a game with that friend.

Like, and wow, as well.

Like, I think it's a game that's popular and people hear about it and they're like, oh, this is a good game.

I'm supposed to play it.

But they don't realize that you're supposed to make friends in it.

You're supposed to try and like engage people.

It's kind of another level, right?

It's it's in the same way that

the Twilight Imperium is a political game where you have to argue with people and try and convince, like almost try and like deceive your friend into backstabbing the other guy.

You know, it's almost like playing Blood on the Clock Tower or something, you know, where you're actively saying, I'm not the demon, you know, kill this guy, kill this guy.

Like, it's a different kind of game.

And I think sometimes games are not sold to you as that when you get them.

I think a lot of people, when they buy a video game, they do still expect a single-player experience or an experience where you're kind of alone, you're not, you're not forced to be social in order to get the most out of it.

What did you have you played Blood on the Clock Tower yet, Sips?

No, I've never played that.

It's really fun, actually.

It was, it was difficult.

Um, and I watched, we put out the, I think it was the members' bid, was the one that I was in the other day, uh, or maybe the other week, um, was with, I think it was me, Ben, Duncan O's.

Uh,

let me think, who else was in it?

Niles E, Zoe.

You in the Christmas one, yeah, the Christmas one

because it will be main channel by the time this podcast.

Okay, um, I found it quite uh, and I did it, I did another session with you guys a couple of weeks ago as well.

I found it initially, it was so different from Mafia, um, because you, you have to change your logic up a lot because there's so many roles, which is good because it's way more information and fun and challenge, but it's also quite easy to catch people in a lie or sort of logic your way through what, you know, what the situation, like you're like, oh, well, if he says he's this, but then we had this, this, and this, they must be wrong.

You know, it's, it's way more interesting.

Mafia, you just have to go off feel a lot of the time.

And I think Blogger Clock Hero has done a really good job of making it genuinely a really fun and interesting game.

And the fact that when you're out, you walk around as a ghost really does make it a far more interesting game to play than your Dead Night One, sit around for an hour and a half, which fucking sucks.

Yeah, yeah yeah i mean i mean mafia's great it was classic game i mean you used you used to play it at ti i remember um at these dosh events didn't you p flex with a big room of people yeah it was awful and and mafia's dated and bad because when you get killed you're kind of out and also a lot of the time there's not really any info to go and it's entirely sort of social right werewolf was the next iteration of that and it's still popular and in fact a couple of my friends who aren't really gamers um and

ended up playing a game of it the other day and i was was quite surprised because, because, sort of, I said to them, Oh, you know, we've been you played werewolf, and they said to me, Have you ever played it?

And I was like, Yeah, and I know it quite well because Blood in the Clock Tower is this the next iteration of it, and it's huge now.

Um, it's it was really popular at the board game expo that we went to, and it is mafia, you know, you're sat around, but I think it's fixed a lot of the problems with werewolf and mafia in that it tries to be more inclusive.

The dead players are still involved.

In fact, sometimes it's in your advantage to be dead, yeah.

Um, like you want to, to, it's not so bad when you die.

And like, I don't know, like the roles are fun.

Some of them are quite interesting.

There's a few things that we've added, like, like one of the mechanics is madness, which is a fun idea.

And basically, the way that works, you actually had this role, P-Flax.

Yeah, fucking.

You have to, you have to make someone mad, which means you make someone pretend.

So I have to go.

So Superion wants me to pretend that I am a different role or that I am, I think he's evil, you know, know, and so then I have to act.

I have to actually almost like

act like I've gone mad, but or convince the town.

It's quite clever.

Yeah.

The way it sort of makes you

play around with the with the lie.

Because there's so many reasons to lie.

You know, a lot of these roles

don't want to die, but some of them kind of do want to die.

So sometimes you're kind of saying to everyone, oh, I'm a really important role, hoping that you'll be stabbed.

Yeah.

Which is, which is honestly, I don't know.

It's good.

So, no, Bonda Clock Tail.

We've been enjoying it.

I'm just reading this thing about

Imperian Challenge.

I think I found the original TI, guys.

In 1976, there was this game.

Sorry, 1978, there was this game called Imperian Challenge.

It's a sci-fi, it's like, you know, this is so sometimes it was called the most complex game system on earth back in the day.

And say no war in North Africa.

Some turn results were a thousand pages pages in length.

You'd be sent like a ream of paper.

Look at this picture of this turn results for Imperian.

One turn of Imperian Challenge.

You know, if you're sending a pound to them, that's not covering their paper costs.

It's good value for money.

One pound, you get like 800 pages of something.

That's incredible.

Of like, of turn results to like sift through.

Holy shit.

That's great.

Excellent sleeping aid.

You can't find a sleeping aid on the market for that cheap.

One pound.

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Plus, you can order the frame online and preload it with photos and videos using the aura app so it's ready to go right out of the box that's it but i did that yeah uh i i used i pulled a little bit of the qr code out you can like um it's got this little tag right which means you don't have to unwrap the whole thing you can just qr code the one inside yeah and i loaded it up with photos sent it off to my parents and they got a preloaded aura frame ready to go the app was pretty simple they were able to figure it out and they've they've they've loved it uh i preloaded mine with images of succulent meals that we could all enjoy looking at when we eat cereal for our dinner every single night because we're lazy okay

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On with the show, on with the show.

So, I have an old board game.

I used to collect old board games.

The game is called Freedom in the Galaxy: The Star Rebellions 5764 AD.

Oh, my gosh.

All right.

I have a copy of this.

It's from 1979.

It's dreadful.

It's incredibly complicated.

And it's basically simulating Star Wars where you have fleet battles and all the rest of it, but also heroes that go and do hero shit.

It is.

Oh my god, I'm looking at it.

It's hidden.

It is absolutely arcane.

I bought it for like three quid in a charity shop because I was like, I've got to see this.

It is almost unplayable.

The rules are so complicated.

It's all little cardboard chits that are like going to move around.

If you breathe on this board, it's going to kill it.

It's so complicated.

Here's the fucking blurb for it.

Freedom of the Galaxy, the Star Rebellions 5764 AD, is a medium complexity tactical war game.

Medium?

That's not a fucking complex one.

That's just what I'm in the market for.

I just go.

Hello, I'm looking for a medium complexity pirate-themed war game, please.

Do you have anything that fits that description?

I mean, here's an example.

Here's an example of a rule.

All right, this is because these things always had addenda.

Like, there would always be an addenda saying, okay, rule 9.45.

Yes, it's like an additional rules.

Like, they've patched the game.

So, rules 9.45, addition.

When a friendly detected spaceship leaves a planet on which the enemy player is ineligible to conduct the detection routine, the spaceship is no longer detected.

And of course, 15.3, a stop rebellion mission may also be performed on a planet under rebel control.

20.7 correction.

The second paragraph should start.

If the non-phasing player has a level one or two up PDB on the planet, he may make a one column shift adjustment to the left on the detection table.

The player would refer to the column two to the left of the normal column.

Paragraphs Paragraphs three and four should read, however, all DD and E results are treated as D.

Again, all D D and E results are treated as D.

Can you imagine playing that game?

What the fuck?

Dude, look at the...

I can't imagine myself playing that game.

This is what games were.

Nowadays, all of this shit is hidden behind the game engine.

Like, when you play Hearts of Iron, which I've been playing a lot lately, that kind of shit is a game.

Isn't there a new DLC that just came out for you?

That's why I've been playing it.

Yeah, got a damn thing.

There's a new Stellaris one as well.

Have you played that recently?

I have not, because I find when I get into Stellaris, I want to do nothing but play Stellaris for two weeks.

That's not a bad thing, though.

Yeah, but I'm coming down to Bristol, aren't I?

So

I don't want to awaken the kraken that is my Stellaris.

I was just in Bristol, actually.

I knew you were.

How was it?

I've been sick ever since I got back.

I've had a cold.

I had like an explosive toilet session while I was in Bristol still,

and had another one when I got back as well.

I've just been fucked up, up, man.

Like, so, like, such a mess.

Yeah.

It was that concert we went to.

The Ghostface Killer concert made me gave me the poops big time.

I mean, I'm not being funny, but you live on a different country.

You've come to Britain.

I know.

You have.

Yeah.

And I've been there.

It's like the equivalent of us going to India.

The Lurgie, man.

The big time Lurgie, yeah.

You fucking got the shit.

No, it was a fun trip, actually.

It was nice.

It was good to catch up with everybody.

So we went to Ghostface Killer.

Let me just say

my take on it.

So obviously, I'm not necessarily the biggest Wu-Tane fan, but I'm a Sips fan.

And

I like hanging out with Sips and enjoying the things.

And it's kind of like a little bit like getting to see your kid doing something they really like, you know, even though you're not that into it.

So we go to this place, and

the place we went to last time was nicer.

This is kind of like a shaky warehouse.

And as we approached it,

it was the

gutters were shaky.

The corrugated iron roof and gutter was like shaking off.

Like, honestly, it was like the building was like,

like, buzzing.

Like, all the metal trimmings and all the screws are like shaking out of the guttering around this fucking cheap warehouse.

And we get get around to the front.

And obviously, it's a freezing fucking cold day.

And there's this poor security guard patting people down like it's like we're all some American, you know, gangsters bringing in guns.

Well, you don't want to take it.

He's like, what's this?

And it's like, that's my keys, you know, and it's like, my phone.

It's like, what do you think?

What's that?

That's my magnum.

Bitch, get your hands off it.

That's my pistol.

Don't touch it.

And so we went in, and I think the doors opened at what, like 6.30.

And

this place, PFLAX, doesn't have, it's like a warehouse.

Okay, imagine a warehouse, but it's a single room, single-room warehouse, and there's a bar at one end.

and then just open doors and the open doors go to a series of portalos at one end.

Okay.

Assuming that's it.

Do you know know what I mean?

It's not even got a room in the warehouse for toilets kind of thing.

It's just a bunch of Porta Johns.

And

so we get, I think doors opened at 6.30.

We got there at like, I want to say 8.30.

Wow.

Yeah.

It was pretty late.

And then Ghostface wasn't on until 9.30.

I want to say 10.

9.30.

Coming up to 10.

He was on at like 10.30.

No,

it ended promptly at 10.30.

And he was like, I think he was a bit taken aback because I think he thought, I'll just be fashionably late.

And then he ended up up doing like uh like basically a 45 minute set and half of it he was just listening to old music it was like a trump rally it was just he was just like it was a bit weird let's listen to some old music no i'm just joking he was he was good like by far the best actor

which is better and not that i i i don't mind being pleasantly surprised by a a a a a a support actor not that the support acts were bad but i think like i thought they were pretty good

he's um he's got his he's honed his shit shit and he knows what he's doing

and um yeah, it's very it was very similar to last time we did this and we did this five years ago um I just I just sort of felt like a bit of get a bit of deja vu you know watching um you know watching ghost face watches sips kind of um sips bought some merch he bought yeah i bought some little wands wu-tang wands three ghost face wu-tang wands for your kids

yeah you know like those glow wands that you get uh you get they're like little um

you know fairy wands or sometimes they have, yeah, it was like that, but it's Wu-Tang on them.

I see.

Do your children want Wu-Tang ones?

And I've turned this time when you said

that.

I figured there might be a chance that they would get a kick out of them.

And when I got home, they were like, oh, they just did not care about this.

What is this?

So I guess that's

three Wu-Tang ones for Papa.

I guess

I'll keep it.

Maybe I'll do a giveaway.

Maybe they'll be worth something one day.

Light up.

I guess it's the equivalent of having your phone in the air, except I guess

it's not that.

Maybe your phone will be stolen if you did that.

Not that the crowd was particularly rough.

No, but there was fun.

They were fun.

It was busy.

This show was a lot busier than the one that we went to five years ago.

This is way, way busier.

It was.

It was okay.

It was good.

Yeah, it was a fun, fun night.

I say I loved it.

But

I enjoyed hanging out with Sips and Ravs.

Daff came along as well.

Daph loved it, man.

He was living his best life.

You should have seen it.

Daff went from, so I forgot I was actually supposed to be at charity event that day, but Daff went to it anyway.

And Daff went to charity event in like a nice suit,

went straight to the Wu-Tang gig.

So changed like in one of the Portaloos, I fucking guess.

And then

got to the Wu-Tang gig late.

And then just in time to see Ghostface, though, fucking conveniently.

He turned up, saw Ghostface, left as soon as Ghostface left, and he went to fucking Mosh.

Went to a rave clubbing.

Yeah, he went to a rave after.

He was meant to be having a mental health weekend.

And the way he pitched this was, I need to go home and play Dota for my mental health weekend.

And we all said, that sounds crazy.

That's not how you should spend a mental health weekend.

Come out instead.

He's like, no, no, I can't go out.

I'm meant to be like resting or whatever.

And then we said, well, fine, but you're going to miss it.

And he's like, yeah, you know what?

I will go.

And then I think he just decided, well, since I'm out, I might as well go out, out, out, out.

And then went to a rave after as well.

Hell yeah.

I didn't realize it was your fault sips that he didn't have his mental health week yeah he was meant to have a mental health weekend daff playing dota is actually probably quite bad for his mental health that's why that's what we were saying we well that's what we were saying

you make i kind of got him back into it it's my fault yeah well it's because of the so you did a uh the goon international the goonternational that's right yeah so yeah daph told me that he

he he was he he was talking about non-stop honestly for a week flex because and this is i don't know you can tell me the details, but he, from what I heard, he was on like an 18-game unbroken winning streak.

His team were like crushing international, they were in the grand finals, they were like favorites to win, and he was like the precious game.

The way he described this, it sounded like Eminem's rap battle when he was puking just before he went on, sort of thing.

He was so nervous because he knew you were going to be watching and casting

and it just completely threw him.

He just couldn't do it.

I, we, The grand final was actually a complete wash.

They lost both games really badly.

It was Dav was in.

They lost against the team they previously beat as well.

Yeah, which is a classic Dota story.

But essentially, yeah, they got found out.

And

it was a really fun tournament.

And it was like, you know, fully community organized.

I literally did nothing other than cast some of the games.

And it was like, it's great to have a community that does that stuff.

So I really, really love that.

They just sort of put it all together.

and uh one of my mods geeto uh they they did all of the hard work uh and the players were fantastic we had tons of teams teams were like making little banners and some of them made team intro videos and we raised money for charity and we rounded it off with this um cardboard cosplay contest to open the grand final where people were meant to make cosplay just with cardboard that they had around the house and try and make a dough to cosplay with cardboard.

It was brilliant.

They did a fantastic job.

So yeah, it was really, really fun.

The VOD is on the, there's an archive channel for my stream.

You can find it on there.

Who won the cosplay contest?

That's more important than the

people who remember that, I guess, more than the fucking winner of the actual.

Christy Jim, I think, won it.

I think.

I can't remember, but yeah,

he did a Warlock cosplay that also had his dog dressed up as the Gollum.

Miles.

Easy to do it.

Easy to do.

That'll do it.

Just get a cute pet in there and you can win.

And you can win.

You can win

with the help of the cute pet.

Westie was all dressed up.

And yeah, he looked fantastic.

Nice.

Is he going to

hibernate it?

The Westie?

Yeah.

I don't think.

I don't know if dogs can hibernate.

We could try.

I'll put Waggy in the freezer over winter.

Yeah, let's see who hibernates the best.

Terry's going to go into his fridge momentarily, and then you put your dog in the fridge as well.

We'll catch up in April.

Let's say,

okay.

We'll see who has a puddle of goo at the bottom of the fridge and who doesn't when it's all done.

So I saw some news this week.

Before we do lose news, I saw some news that they're making a new Lord of the Rings movie.

Yeah.

But it's focusing on the life of Gollum.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like the origin story.

Because there's one of the books

sort of touches upon his past, you know, before

he comes into contact with the ring.

Yeah, he's like River Folk or whatever.

Yeah, he's just like a normal person, but with like maybe some

like gambling or addiction tendencies.

So when he sees it,

of all the characters in Lord of the Rings, the least interesting by far to me is Gollum.

I do not really want to see a movie about Gollum any more than I wanted to see a video game about Gollum, but that's a good idea.

Do you want to see a movie about Dobby?

No, I don't want to see a movie about Dobby either.

Dobby.

Dobby the movie.

It's just coming soon.

Please stop picking these dog shit characters to make games and movies about.

Just do a cool Aragorn one or a fucking Gimli's life history, something, but not fucking Gollum.

please.

Or just don't do any more movies.

It's fine.

They're done.

Yeah, we had the movie.

You've adapted the books and they were great.

And then The Hobbit, I heard, was not so great.

It was terrible.

Too many movies for

the book that it was.

Yeah, just stop now.

You don't need to do it anymore.

Like the people will remember the Lord of the Rings trilogy fondly forever.

And the movies were good.

Let's leave it.

Let's leave it and move on.

Let's make some new holiday movies.

When was the last time a fun Christmas movie came out around Christmas?

I'll tell you what we need.

Like 2007.

What we need is a

we need is some Lord of the Rings play by mail play by post

Lord of the Rings is done man.

It's done.

Okay,

we don't need any more Lord of the Rings anything.

It's it's over.

Did they not learn from Gollum?

Did they not learn from Gollum the video game?

Did they not learn

all from all the fucking Star Wars that's

maintained?

It's done, man.

It's done.

Doing it.

Marvel stuff is

pretty done.

We don't need anything.

It's pretty done.

I'll watch the Fantastic Four.

I'll watch the Fantastic Four, but that's it.

You know, maybe I'll watch The Doctor Strangers as long as Sam Raimi's still doing it, but I'm done.

I'm done.

I'm tapped out.

Let's have something new.

Let's think of something new that we can have.

Well, that's video games.

Just the same old fucking rehashed shit all the time.

It's, dude, it's video games.

It's like I said a couple of years ago.

The Super Mario Brothers movie did well.

Now it's going to be video game movies forever.

And there are like fucking products.

Minecraft movie.

Yeah, all this.

Yeah.

But what the thing is, they don't realize that the fan base for video games is far more rabid and far angrier than the fucking fan base for Iron Man.

So you're introducing shit that people actually know.

Like Iron Man's been around for fucking

three times as long as the average age of the audience for the Iron Man movies.

And no one gives a shit if you say, we're going to be able to do it.

Iron Man is a two-hour movie commitment, right?

Whereas people spend a thousand hours in a video game.

Right, but what I'm saying is it was an adaptation of a comic.

So no one was super precious about the depiction of Iron Man other than he should be in a big iron suit and do cool shit.

Sure.

And Spider-Man, there were a bunch of different versions of Spider-Man, and they were all quite enjoyable.

I think the Mars Morales version is the best version, but I'm not going to get super pissy as long as Spider-Man is still Spider-Man.

But if you're going to make a Minecraft movie, you better fucking get it right.

Because if it's dog shit, the audience is going to turn on you much quicker than the audience for Spider-Man would.

Much quicker.

On the topic of Spider-Man, it was my son's 13th birthday three days ago.

He's 13 years old.

He got Spider-Man 2 for the PlayStation.

It looks nuts.

It looks crazy.

It looks so good.

Yeah.

I was watching him play it the other day and it just looks incredible.

The way that you swing around the city and stuff is

beautiful.

Yeah.

Well, these AAA

video games are there.

It's weird that we don't almost know about about them, right?

Yeah, we don't play those kinds of things.

We're not really console gamers, but these are like kind of

huge tiles and they

just may play very brown pixe-y games that look entirely uninteresting.

Um, yeah, I play grand strategy games and Dota.

That's pretty much it.

Yeah, oh my god.

Well, I try to play as much as I can, but we played Lord of the Rings.

Speaking of Lord of the Rings, we played that Lord of the Rings board game, Lewis, when I was over, and that was fun.

Was it

Lord of the Wings Jewel?

It's like Seven Wonders duel.

Um, oh, it's great.

I enjoyed it.

It was good.

Well, it's basically a reskin of a actually good board game.

So,

but it had

like uh, you know, these like things where you, if you were the um, the hobbits, you there's like this, like, uh, like the Naz ghouls have to like catch up with you, and you have to keep your disc.

There's like all these different ways to win, and so it's cool, it's really fun.

Sips beat me twice, and I was like, No, no, you beat me the first time, and then I won the second time.

Oh,

that's nice.

That's okay.

I thought you beat me twice no we're tired um that's how i remembered it i was just salty uh

god listen to this okay when they've designed this play-by-mail game in the first place are we doing lose news where we're still talking about

there's no lose news there's no news news it's christmas there's like a busy i've got no there's no time

uh i've got i've got to go in like five minutes because i've got a stream on all right i'm streaming for nine hours today good and in fact more than that it's gonna be mental it's about time you slacker uh come on what have you been doing all this time?

You should be

fine.

Actually, I do it.

I'm doing nine hours a day, all day.

I've changed my mind.

All right, do it.

News news.

First piece of news.

Elon Musk says he might be buying Hasbro

in order to make an AI game studio.

It's like this is full villain arc.

He's going to buy Dungeons of Dragons.

Honestly, Dungeons of Dragons is like basically the biggest chunk of Hasbro they have.

I mean, it's kind of insane.

It's a little bit like Wizards of the Coast being owned by Mattel or whatever.

That's what the fuck it's it's owned by.

Weird.

Okay.

Turns out people spend more time now watching games than playing them.

Wow.

People typically play video games on average for seven hours a week.

However, people watch playing video games for eight hours a week.

Jeez.

Not me.

I'm still playing them all the time.

Yeah, brother.

There is a

Mudeng now has a song, an official song called Mudeng Mudeng.

It's 50 seconds long, because I guess that's how things are now.

Because anything, a song longer than 50 seconds would be really boring right um and the lyrics go mudeng mudeng boing boing boing mommy mommy play with me

mudeng sure ain't gonna be cute when he's a grown-up i'll tell you that much

he's fucking bunching down on some zookeepers yeah

they are they are vicious beasts they grow up fast as well uh the song is available in thai english chinese and japanese versions wonderful get that now uh scientists in Antarctica have developed their own accent.

If you and 25 of your homies are hole up together for months on end, you may also develop your own accents.

So, yeah, apparently, people living in Antarctica are

and spending time with each other are developing their own vernacular and accent.

Because it involves chattering teeth and a lot of rubbing your hands together and stamping your feet.

Yes, that's really good.

Yeah, I like that.

And what else else is there on this news?

The last one is that have you seen that orcas have been wearing dead salmon as hats?

Yes.

No, what is the deal with that?

They're just

having no time at all.

Are they going to the races?

Yeah, no, they're just fucking, they're like that.

They're smart.

And

they're mischievous.

And they're bored.

I mean, if you're smart and you're just swimming in the ocean all the time.

You love mischievous.

When you're not eating stuff, you're like, what the fuck are we going?

Let's just fucking cock about.

And they apparently different, like, I don't know what you call it, a pilot of orcas i can't remember what the term for a collective of orcas is um

i think it might be a pod sorry a pod um i'm pretty sure that each of the different sort of family groups has different behaviors and sometimes with like they'll meet up with other pods and swim around each other and like exchange ideas and shit i don't know how like guys we're all wearing salmons as hats this season you should do the same and then when they meet up again they've all got their salmon hots and they're like oh no sorry we stopped doing that last year that's kind of passe now the salmon hats we now wear lobsters as cod pieces, not cod as cod pieces.

That would be two on the nose.

And then they split up and go their separate ways again.

Nice.

It's like meat and girls, but with orcas.

Well, maybe lobsters would be quite good as like clothing because they could pinch, they could hold on.

Hold on, right?

I mean, barnacles would be the best, but

I think there's lots of people are trying to sort of say, they don't know.

People don't know exactly why, but there's a lot of theories.

One, it might be that they're just messing around.

One, it might be that they're like taking it with them when when they're, you know, as like they're like bringing a snack with them, like a pack lunch.

I mean, just, you know, for fun.

I think they're just mucking about.

They're just silly.

That's that's what it feels like to me as well.

Well, I'm going to go.

That's all we got time.

I'm going to see Stuart Lee.

I'm going to see Stuart Lee.

Oh, that'd be great.

He's really funny.

I know.

I've seen him multiple times.

I see him at Leicester Square Theatre every year.

It's like a little traditional.

Hopefully, it's better than that other one that you went to, the Alan Parker.

Doctor Strangelove.

Doctor Strangelove.

It's going to be definitely going to be better than that.

I mean, if I get lost and the theatre is closed, it's gonna be better than Doctor Strangelove.

That's how bad this is one of the advantages of living in London, isn't it?

You get all this lovely culture, yes, a bit of culture.

Well, have fun, enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself,

yeah.

Enjoy yourself.

All right, thanks, everyone.

We'll see you next week.

Goodbye, bye.