Triforce! #304: Classic (Terrible) Movie Tropes

Pickox.

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse, and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest-paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, No, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's gonna tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

Aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

I'm Scott Hanson, host of NFL Red Zone.

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Hey, what's up, everybody?

Welcome back.

Oh my goodness, the Triforce podcast back up in this bitch once again.

It's me, Flax Lewis,

bringing you some flavorful

audio audio into your ears right now.

Are you guys ready?

Yes.

Oh, ready to drop off that salty, sweet, just flavor.

So

I don't know

what our voices are.

No, I don't put it in liquids.

I'm definitely not hiding.

You don't know what our voices are.

Well, you mean it has a descriptor for our voices?

Yeah.

Boost is asleep still.

Yeah.

Sips is pickle juice.

Mine is

fucking hot dog cider hangover plus vape oh oh wow plus apparently kermit the frog which i you got that big buildup of uh of um phlegmatic old man devoid of hair oh i was having a think about being bold yeah and it something occurred to me all right so

given the rate

given the rate just that just that sentence

so i was having a think about being bald yeah you've had 40 years.

No, I haven't been bold since I was eight years old.

What are you talking about?

Well, I remember that's how I envisioned you as school.

Yeah, so I forgot.

Although, like I've said many times, my friends still don't think of me as a bold man, which is bizarre.

But anyway, because they've known me for longer anyway.

Given the rate at which I am mistaken for other bold men, which is apparently continuous, I'm constantly getting messages, tweets, instas, whatever.

Is this you?

And it's just a picture of a bold man or a picture of Greg Wallace.

Yeah.

Literally.

Any bold man.

Like, if they see a bold man, they will send me a reel or a video or a post or something.

So there is a resemblance, though.

No.

There is not.

There is none.

There is literally none.

Like, this is the thing.

If you are bold and have glasses, which are two things that seem to go hand in hand, people will suddenly mistake you for every other bold glasses person.

It's like, guess who played with a four-year-old?

Like, that's how bad people are at recognizing faces.

But if there are any bold men out there who are famous, I think is good for all bold men because you're so easily confused for other more famous or successful bold men.

Like, it's almost like because we're all grouped into one category, the more successful bold people there are, the better it is for all of us.

We just have to put up with the idiotic hair havers mistaking us for each other.

That's it.

But I'll take that.

If it means, you know, shared success, I'll take it.

Okay, who are we talking here, though?

I mean, obviously, Dwayne Johnson.

He's not bold.

bald.

Dwayne The Rock Johnson.

He's not bald.

I believe he's a shape.

What do you mean he's not bald?

I believe he shaves.

He's a shaver.

He's a fake balder.

I believe so.

I could be wrong.

He may be genuinely balder.

I think his hair was going and he went to the.

It's his signature look being bald, though, isn't it?

And same with...

I'd like to think he's bald.

Rebruce Willis is bald, but I'm not sure on Dwayne.

I haven't seen his hairline.

So I'd have to have a look.

Dave Bautista,

he can count as a bald guy.

I think he did that that as a as to as almost a a tribute to dwayne johnson

yeah but if you look at dave bautista he has a hairline but i don't know how patchy it is i've never seen it grown in and if you look at dave baptista he there are a very very few pictures of him with some kind of fuzz but he has there's like creases on his head and the fact that he has opted for very visible kind of odd creases over hair it says to me that his hair is not great or it might be super thick and he just opts for baldness what is your baldness requirement?

Because I just googled famous bald people, and Prince William came up.

Yeah,

he's balding, yeah.

He's balding there.

No, he's bald.

I mean, the guy's bald.

He's gone Prince Edward

with his bald.

He's got like the hair around the side and then bald on top.

Like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm that way.

I'm like pretty bald on top, and then I've got hair on the sides, you know.

What do you think about like

the Larry David Jason Alexander style, like, baldness on the top?

Really

keeping it on the side.

Well, the Fraser.

Yeah, the Fraser.

So I guess it's because you can then have some kind of style going on up there.

Like, it's very funny to think being bald.

In the 90s, how many

hairstyles were like that?

It was so acceptable, but I feel like it's not as acceptable nowadays.

It's like the Dr.

Phil, you know?

It's really bad.

Yeah, it is pretty bad.

You don't see it as much now.

People will just go full shave rather than leave a bit on the side.

Well, I think it's the Kelsey Grauer is so thin, though.

That's the thing.

It's like it's almost bald, but somehow he's desperately holding on to it.

Right, but he doesn't look desperate.

He's completely bald on top.

It doesn't look like it.

He's letting it flow on the side.

He has so much charisma that he can pull it off.

Also, I think he's a very tall man.

So most people don't actually see.

Apparently, he's not a very nice person

outside of Kelsey Group Fraser.

We've spoken about him before.

You know, his life history is a bit fucked up, right?

Yeah,

well,

did you know that?

A lot of these guys who were stars in the 90s are not necessarily the same.

Well, no, but this is like some stuff happened.

Like, for example,

I'll give you an example.

He's been married four times.

He has seven children and a grandchild.

His first marriage lasted eight years, but they weren't together for six years of that.

He had

a thing.

Hang on.

We don't have to drag old Fraser Craig.

One of his wives,

he filed an annulment because she was crazy and she fired a gun at him.

That wasn't great.

That's hardly his.

He married a dancer and model, aka porn star.

And so that seems to have gone all right.

And he had another girlfriend who I think was

45 years.

Yeah, apparently.

So his younger sister was murdered by a spree killer.

Jesus,

which is pretty crazy.

And there was something else happened as well.

Like, there's a, he's not, I'm not saying he's a good guy, but I am saying he hasn't had a particularly smooth personal life.

It's been pretty crazy.

So, yeah, he's a Tea Party Republican as well.

So he's a bit of a bit of a nut in my opinion.

But yeah, we'll see.

I'm excited to find out who the next bald entrant is.

I mean, in fact, there's...

There's a whole bunch here.

You look at famous bald celebrities and it's like, it's mostly like action heroes.

I don't know whether like that became a thing, though, right?

Like is it something to do with bodybuilding that you do lose your hair?

Like the high testosterone or something?

No, no, I don't think so.

I don't I think high testosterone does cause you to lose your hair, but I thought it was just genetics.

I don't know if that's yeah, I think there's like a genetic thing more so than a I work out a lot thing, you know?

Yeah, I guess.

I don't know, really.

Yeah, it's hard to say.

I don't know why people go bald.

I'm pretty sure it's just genes.

I mean, I would say like Billy Joel, he's bald samuel jackson right he's bald samuel jackson brian cranston he's bald he's bald now yeah uh

he wasn't always he wasn't always bald jason statham none of us were statham no no no no none of us were yeah true i don't like no but he was but he is bald yeah

a lot of vinnie jones pretty bald i don't like vinnie jones well you don't have to like him he's bald yeah but i'm trying to think of positive ones oh right get some good ones bald people that you like yeah andre agassy is bald he used to be famous for his hair andre

i don't i don't like moby but he is bald john dream

larry david's pretty bald i like him he's bald he's good he's he's one of our best representatives a lot of the stuff he puts out there we've known for years in the bald community and the the hair people the hair havers just seem unaware of it like rudy giuliani seems pretty bald do you like him no i don't like him right joe rogan how about um yeah

how about jeff bezos do you like him not especially don't like any of them really right i just want to think of fun baldies that are my friends.

They're part of the crew.

Right.

Okay.

If you're bald out there, look at old Greg Wallace.

Not Greg fucking Wallace.

He's a baddie.

Anyway, that's that.

That's the, but let's move on from boldness.

I was, I've been looking at Reddit a bit recently, right?

Because I used to spend a lot more time on Twitter, but it's so bad I've moved over to Blue Sky because it seems a reasonably decent place for the time being.

But Twitter is just so bad these days.

But looking at Reddit, there is something I've noticed very consistently that is quite frustrating.

You'll have

the original post, right?

And then the top reply will not make any points about anything in the post apart from pointing out one small possible error that they made.

They're like correcting one very, very small thing.

And then all the top comments are responding to that one tiny correction to maybe argue over that.

So there's no actual conversation taking place based on what the person has said.

It's just literally a hundred comments about one very minor error or point of discussion in that.

So it'd be like if you had a big conversation with someone, you spilled your heart to them, or you told them something really important, and all they hung up on was one tiny, tiny detail.

And they're completely ignoring the bulk of what you're talking about.

I find it very frustrating.

I think that's a really accurate summary of the whole internet, actually.

It's a bit like that, you know?

It is.

The top comment will usually be something funny and gimmicky, right?

Yeah.

And I get why, because it's so frustrating to have like,

I think this this the doom scrolling nature of Reddit as well and the front page is always full of depressing political shit yeah I but I think like this is why I periodically quit reddit and social media platforms because I think they are they are making me sad um reddit means uh

differently to how people expect it to as well there it is a bit of an echo chamber for

uh people who in this case this thing that happened were very wrong about But if you spent a lot of time only on Reddit, you would convince yourself that, oh my God,

this is how things work.

And this is how things are.

And this is what people think.

And these are the things that are popular, whatever.

And it's, I'd say, for the most part, probably the case, but in lots of cases, not at all the case.

You know what I mean?

I think these are the things that are not.

There are definitely people not taking part in these communities and stuff that people discount all the time, but then they come back and sting you.

You're not expecting it.

There's so much good stuff on the individual subreddits, right?

Yeah.

And I think if you're very careful to only stick to those and avoid the

ones, like the satisfying as fuck subreddit is fantastic.

Interesting as fuck subreddit is really good.

You know, if you don't want to read and, you know, doom scroll until you're blue in the face, there's all sorts of great stuff on there.

You have to be in the mind frame to actually peruse it.

Some subreddits are absolutely shit

and poorly run.

But a lot of them.

And a lot of these niche hobby subreddits are dominated by a few very high-level elitists.

I think like you can see that on the Dota 2 subreddit.

Everyone in the Dota 2 subreddit is a fucking...

a legend player or whatever the highest rank is these days, period.

But I mean, to some extent, Wikipedia is like that, too.

You have, there is definitely a hierarchy of contributors and editors and stuff like that.

And there have been times where, you know, information was put on and then taken off and then obscured.

And you know what I mean?

Like it, it's always going to happen on all of these sites.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

The nature of them is often unhelpful.

Like it's actually quite difficult to find useful information on them, but they're kind of an aggregator of interesting things.

Like I did this interesting thing in this game.

Like on the Factorio subreddit or on the Blood on the Clock Show subreddit.

It's always, it's people saying, oh, this is a funny thing that happened to me.

It's kind of a clickbaity

news aggregator for niche interest.

And that can lead to inspiration too, right?

In a sense, like you can see something, you think, oh, that's a cool idea.

I'll screw that away in the back of my mind.

And if I want to find it again, I'll never be able to.

Yeah.

Because

it will disappeared off the front page of that subreddit.

And the search function is so poor that you because

of the clickbait title, you know, it's like, oh, I saw a really funny thing a week ago on this thing.

I didn't quite remember it.

Can I find it again?

No fucking way.

It's just, it's gone.

Yeah.

Um, and I'm not one of these people who, I don't know, is there a like or remember functionality?

Fuck knows.

Jeremy, not obviously.

I don't know.

Um, Jeremy, I know that you, yeah.

So if you look at a post on the top right, there's three dots.

You can click save.

I don't know where it saves it.

Yeah,

never used that.

But no,

I don't think I have either.

I think the weirdest thing is you'll be looking at a post and you'll accidentally refresh the page and it seems to be impossible to find it again i don't know what's happened but yeah it is uh it is weird it is weird you know what uh i got some good news for you guys well actually lewis you're involved next week uh guess uh guess who's back in town and guess who's going to see said person who's back in town ghost killer ghost face killer

he's back he's back and we're going to see him again Five years later.

Yeah.

It's

obviously liked it so much the last five years later when it was.

Oh my gosh, yeah.

Well, I mean, there was a bit of a lapse of visits because of uh COVID and stuff, too.

But and I think he has been back.

I think he's he's back around the same time every year.

He does like a little UK tour.

Do you think he says, yo, I'm back in?

And then he checks his hand.

Bristol.

Yeah, I'm sure he does.

Yeah.

Just like just like Spinal Tap on The Simpsons.

So it was the 16th of November 2019 that he played.

2019, we went to see him, yeah.

But this time he's going to have another member of the Wu-Tang clan with him, Inspector Deck.

Oh, damn.

It's his special guest.

So, yeah.

Ravs is playing as well.

Rav's a business.

He wants to go.

So, googling this is a post on r/slash sips.

So, I googled Ghostface Killer, Bristol 2019.

On the first page, it is so happy I saw Sips at the Ghostface Killer event last night in Bristol.

Also saw Lewis and Duncan, and they were all so friendly and happy speaking to everyone.

Also, seemed very shocked people at a Ghostface killer event knew who they were.

That's great.

You're wearing a Wu-Tang shirt, Sips.

Oh, this is fantastic.

Am I?

I have an autographed Wu-Tang t-shirt by Ghostface.

I'll have to get another one with Inspector.

I feel like a little kid.

I feel like a little kid going.

You had a great time.

It's not fun.

It's fun.

Yeah.

It's good for good night.

I got to get some fun.

You look there's like a ghostly Duncan Harry in the background.

Yeah, I need to get some I need to get some of those silicone ear defender things, though, because last time we went, it was pretty bad.

I thought I was going to lose my hearing.

Really?

It really blew my head off.

Yeah.

You're such a innocent Jersey Island boy.

I know.

Precious little boy.

I know, I know.

I got to protect.

Well, Wu-Tang always says protect your neck, but I'm going to go one further and protect my hearing.

Well, just protect your neck.

Yeah, I want to make sure I can still listen to.

Now, as they get older, I think protect your hearing could be

protect your knees.

Be safe.

That's the wu-tang.

Protect your back.

Don't lift anything heavy with don't bend at the hips.

I just remembered something.

When I

was in Sweden for like nearly three weeks, right?

And I got back on Monday, got a cab home and the cab driver was a bit crazy.

Okay.

And it really stuck in my mind because

this guy, I get in the cab, I tell him where I'm going.

He's like, Yeah, yeah, cool.

Hop in, mate.

And I'm in the cab for like 30 seconds.

He starts telling me about how his marriage is in trouble.

And he's like, We've been together for 18 years.

Or was it 11 years, something like that?

11 years.

She just left me this week.

I was like, oh, I'm really sorry to hear that, mate.

He goes, yeah, yeah, she's, she's, but she's just, you know, I think women are just, you know, they're out for money or something.

I don't know what she wanted.

She was kind of a bitch.

I was like, I'm sorry to hear that, but

and and then, like, silence for 15 minutes.

I used to have a Polish wife, I was like, oh, okay.

And he's telling me about his

previous wife, and they have a child that they had two daughters together.

He started, he tells me about them.

Silence for another 15 minutes.

And then he starts telling me about his dog.

And his dog, he said, I can't really, he said, it was called a Caucasian something or other.

Dog.

Okay.

Caucasian Shepherd.

They are fucking huge.

Look at a picture of this dog here.

I'll pop a picture of it.

These things are massive, right?

They are absolutely massive.

Sure, it's a big, it's a big, fluffy side of that.

So he said, when she stands up, she's taller than me.

She's, she's huge.

I was like, wow.

I said, must be

tough to feed her.

Yeah, you're having a bear in your house.

Exactly.

I said, must be tough to feed her.

He goes, oh, yeah, she eats anything.

Squirrels, catch squirrels, she'll eat a squirrel.

Rabbit, she'll eat a rabbit.

And I don't mean like rip it apart.

She'll eat it whole.

I was like, wow, yeah.

And he goes, cats.

Cat comes in the garden, she'll eat cat.

I was like, holy shit.

It's just like a big pile of like

collars like built it up in the

and then he's telling me when we're out walking her i've got to be careful because she you know she'll go for smaller dogs i was like that's not good he goes oh yeah but she's as good as gold mate she's good as gold i said well unless you're a cat he goes well cats are different aren't they i was like okay like he's basically making out like if a cat comes in the garden so be it you know if she catches it and then he's tells me that he's got this patch of land he lives out in kent he's operating cabs in southwest london at the end of his shift you have to drive all the way back to kent to live i drive close mine A lot of Gabbies do that.

It's really strange.

And he's telling me about his house, his property, he's got this house, and then he's got this huge garden that runs way down towards the end of

like this wooded area.

And she's got that whole area.

And that's like her territory.

And if anything comes in it, she tries to eat it, essentially.

Are we talking about the dog or the wife?

The dog.

The dog.

And then as I'm getting out of the cab, he's like, come and have a look at the picture of my dog.

And I'm like, I've just flown back.

I'm tired.

It's like quite late.

And he stopped outside my house and he's trying to show me pictures of his dog.

He's trying to tell me about his house.

I was like, this guy's just lonely.

But then he tells me his postcode and urges me to look his property up on Google Maps to prove the size of his garden.

And then he says, I live in this big tunnel.

It's like one of those tunnels, you know, like you grow tomatoes in.

That's my house.

Dartford tunnel, mate.

You know that?

Dartford Tunnel.

But he was giving me such a weird look that I thought, I don't want to stand outside my house while I get my keys.

So I went to a neighbor's house a few doors down and pretended to be looking at my keys there so he wouldn't be sure which house was mine the guy was so crazy i was like this guy's a murderer he's gonna see me to his giant dog i think sometimes people find

that someone someone they speak to this is very very common someone they speak to they feel that they're a list they're listening right and it's easy to open up to people you don't really know And I think you were just maybe polite or responsive, or he felt some sort of kindred.

Maybe he was a secret bald man.

He wasn't bald.

He wasn't bald.

He had a head of hair.

Right.

Well, it was kind of

like you, didn't it?

He could have been a shy bald man.

You're obsessed with me.

That's just an example.

I didn't know.

But, you know, like he obviously felt comfortable with you, or you gave him like signals that you were in.

I was very dismissive.

I was like, cool.

Oh, goodness.

You know, I didn't like engage him in conversation because it was so bizarre.

So interesting.

I like the taxi taxi drivers where, and this happens quite a bit, and I'm thankful for it too.

I like the ones where you get into the car and you sit down and they're like, hey, how's it going?

You're like, yeah, yeah, fine.

He's like, they're like, oh, gosh, yeah, nice weather today.

Yeah, yeah.

And you're just like, oh, I hope they're not going to talk the whole time.

Yeah.

And then they turn around and they're like, hey, do you mind if I make a personal call?

Yeah, I'm like, go for it, buddy.

Yeah, yeah, of course.

And they spend the whole time on the phone with their earpiece, like talking to their wife or their girlfriend or whatever.

Those are the best ones, aren't they?

Absolutely.

and then they stop and they're like, Oh, well, have a good day.

Yep, see you later.

Job done, and

we're not mates just because we're in the same car.

You just want me to pay for a ride, and I just need the ride.

I don't mind a little bit of small talk, but man, when you get dragged into a big, huge conversation, the whole ride, and it's political, and this, and that, oh my god, personal, and you're just like, Jesus Christ, man.

Some of them will give you their life story.

Like, I had this cab driver one time, he was from Afghanistan, and he was telling me what it was like living under the Taliban and everything, which was genuinely interesting.

But then he got into the conspiracy theories and sort of you could tell he wanted to blame the Jews for his predicament.

And I was like, oh my God, like we're going to go down that rabbit hole.

And he was just, he was saying, you know, who's really behind all this stuff.

And I was like, okay.

I was like, just here.

Yeah, there's the station.

Drop me off.

It's awkward, though, because you can't.

I feel like in situations like that, I'm, I'm just trying to pacify the person.

I'll say anything.

Got you in their car.

You can't get out.

Yeah.

But, but, like, also, you just like you don't want to rock the boat at all, you know, you don't want to say anything like I said,

so you're just sitting there constantly eating shit basically and it sucks.

No, imagine, imagine you're a woman on her own in that car at night.

This is why women are so fucking careful about getting cabs.

Yeah.

Because I mean, I feel like this cabbies my age.

At the very least, it's going to be more or less an even fight if it comes to something like that.

Unless he's like some Joker style villain and just gas starts to fill out the back of the cab.

yeah some you know some i've got some kind of chance but if this guy's twice my size then you know what what are you gonna do like you're just you're just in big trouble so yeah but that but it always makes me feel uncomfortable

christ at least it's not gonna go down a like i'm just gonna have to have an unpleasant conversation i'm not gonna feel like this guy's like being a fucking pervert or something unless he's super into bold men lewis i know you'd love to bring up my boldness i'll do it myself i'll cut you off

you ever get the one that's listening to like uh the radio but it's like talk radio and they're and they're like joining in they're like getting all fired up about it and you just think come on man like this life is too short like just don't be like this like it just

you know there's got to be something else you can do you know like i know you got to sit in a car all day but you know it's crazy it's it's so annoying it doesn't happen that often but when it does happen it's pretty annoying isn't it something yeah isn't it funny how the people we love most are often the hardest to shop shop for?

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On with the show.

Hey,

I've got a subject for us to talk about.

Okay.

I'm hyped.

It's film and TV tropes that I hate.

I'm hyped.

I'm hyped.

Film and TV tropes that I hate.

I've been watching a couple of shows lately.

I watched The Penguin finished that.

Really good.

Right.

I watched the new Day of the Jackal series, which is really good.

It's been really enjoyable so far.

There are some moments they've lifted direct from the film and just remade, which is kind of weird to see.

There's one scene, if you've seen The Day of the Jackal, the original with,

what is it?

Is it Edward Fox?

I think is in it.

Anyway, it's really, really good.

There's a scene where he goes and tests out the sniper rifle he's had custom made by shooting a melon that he hangs from a tree.

Right.

You know the scene?

No.

Maybe.

Very.

Yeah, probably.

Is it a slow-motion melon explosion?

I don't know the scene then.

Okay.

So it's like they've remade it almost shot for shot.

He's even wearing the same outfit as in the movie, which kind of feels like, huh, that's a bit weird, but I'd rather they did that than the awful Bruce Willis remake, which was just terrible.

Anyway, there is a consistent trope that I noticed in that.

in that there's a it happens in this this show and i i realized how much it annoys me people with extremely important jobs that are married, they've got kids, they've clearly been together at some time, but the significant other gets really annoyed by something like they're late for dinner, or they always like missed a piano recital, or something like that.

And it's like you realize that this person's job is like genuine life and death, national security shit.

And you're like, well, I guess dinner's burnt then.

It's like,

how has this relationship lasted this long?

And this has never come up before?

This is the straw that broke the camel's back, finally.

It's like the chicken is burn.

I'm sorry if I'm fighting for my life against hired Russian mobsters.

But yeah, the risotto is ruined.

Oh my God.

And it's like that fucking argument has to come up.

And they're always like, you knew the deal when you got into this.

Yeah, but I didn't think it was going to be this bad.

It's like, well, it fucking is.

Because I work for MI6 and I'm an assassin.

Like, what do you think?

I'm going to be late for fucking dinner.

Like, that's literally every fucking show that happens.

You have to.

You've got to, over the years, evolve into that role, though.

You don't just get that role.

You know, like, if you marry at, at 18 with your, your high school sweetheart or whatever, you know, you, you would eventually like kind of develop into that role.

You wouldn't just have that role straight away.

So there has to have been a couple of years where you're just like, you know, a paper pusher or you're like the coffee guy or whatever, working your way up to that.

But then how does the marriage change to take on these like new responsibilities or are they seeking?

That's definitely a fair point.

but if i may going out into the field and doing the grunt work like getting in gunfights is not the job of upper management right no so when you first start they don't start you off pushing pens and then as you rise up the ranks you push pens really well we're going to send you into the field to shoot people well you probably start off doing the shooting people and the dangerous shit and then as you rise up the ranks you do the lesson

though i mean if i okay i you know i'm 18 years old i just got married at a very young age i'm starting to hold on so what job are we talking about?

Right, what job are you talking about?

International assassin.

Right, you're not getting that at 18, are you?

No, that's what I'm saying.

You've got to work your way up into it, but how?

Because you're probably in the armed forces or the police or something like that.

Right.

So you have a little bit of military, but how much?

Only you get too conditioned, and then you're no good at being an international assassin.

Conditioned by what?

Well, just like, you know, being in a regimented, you know, highly disciplined

like the army.

Like the army.

Yeah.

You You know, you become institutionalized and then you can't think outside the box.

But I think the international assassin needs to think on their feet all your time.

The international assassin is obviously the jackal.

I'm talking about the MI6 agent who is tasked with finding him.

Right.

She has a family.

She has a husband.

They have

a daughter together who's like, I think she's like 18 or something like that.

So they've been together a while and she's clearly experienced at this job.

She's quite senior in her role.

She still has to go do field ops.

And her husband, who's like the professor, is getting pissy that she was late for dinner and missed parent-teacher night.

So she must, it must be a complete secret.

She must keep her

professional life.

They have the argument.

No, no, they have the argument.

She's like, you know what I do and what this is about.

He's like, yeah, but

it's just like, it's just such a non-thing that would happen.

Like, it's just so frustrating to

they do it because it has to, you, they have to create, uh, like, uh, not tension, but like, uh, they have to create conflict at home you know because a lot of these stories it's all the odds are against them you know like and and sometimes they just have to go that extra step you know now the family is against them as well because they exactly turkey dinner

so tedious it's just so tedious it is but like the whole thing is just kind of i don't know it's like so far-fetched isn't it like like

it's so far-fetched that i it's like not not even really like that enjoyable half the time there's two things i think that happen with this one they're copying another time they've seen it, right?

It's like, it's like a rote idea that

they've, you know, it's almost, it writes itself.

That's what you expect when you're writing something.

You have seen this before in a successful show and you copy it, right?

You copy that idea and it's supposed to, they're not sure why they're copying it, but it's just, this is how TV or movies are made.

These are the tropes that happen.

So our one has to fit in, right?

We can't be weird or different too much.

And the other thing is, it's like an easy way to establish a character is annoying.

And this, the sort of like the nagging housewife, you know, it's such an old trope, right?

It's in everything, right?

Um, and and and it sucks, yeah, it's it's really dumb.

Um, like, like, like, I don't know, there's tons, every everything has tropes, right?

And

it doesn't suck as much as being out on the field risking your life in some old battle axe to get home

crying about the spaghetti.

My cooks on every door, and you make for it.

And now it's ruined.

Just like, well, like,

what?

Yeah.

They said, waste that shit.

Your daughter's ballet.

She's cracking.

Yeah, that's true.

The whole movie of True Lives is basically that, isn't it?

But she doesn't know what he does, right?

No, but then she gets involved.

Yeah.

She gets to get involved.

So that's she's like, she's just bored, which is like, he's away all the time doing spy shit.

And she's just like, lives this boring life and wants some excitement, not realizing, of course, that's exactly the life her husband has.

She thinks he's this boring guy who has this boring sales job, has to go ahead for conferences a lot.

That's a much more understandable and common real life thing than, oh, my husband's a spy and it's inconvenient for dinner.

Like, fuck off.

I think if you're going to be.

That's the lazier take.

If you're going to be a spy in an international assassin, it's probably better to not hunker down and have a family and stuff.

You want to be foot loose and fancy free James Bond style.

You go on a new mission or whatever, and

you don't have to bring a whole bunch of suitcases with you on a trip.

He did.

Every time Bond gets with a woman, it ends really badly for her.

It does.

I mean, Ethan Hunt in the

Mission Impossible movies, he smartly decides, you know what, get away from me.

and gets his wife off to go with someone else because he loves her and he doesn't want bad things to happen to her.

So he's like, I'm going to, we're going to, I'm going literally dedicate my life to making sure you don't get in trouble.

So get away from me, which is like a genuinely quite a very romantic thing to do.

To

I really like that.

James Bond goes on a dating app and meets up with somebody.

And every time somebody asks him, what happened in your last relationship, it's always the same answer.

She died.

It was kind of my fault as well.

But, you know, swings around about,

Dr.

No killed her.

What do you think of that?

She was killed by a doctor?

Well, it was some kind of doctor anyway.

Yeah.

I've got some more.

Here's the thing that people say in movies.

I can make some moves on the street.

Have you ever heard that in a movie?

Who the fuck?

I can make some.

I'll make some moves.

I think everybody thinks that they can make some moves on the street, though.

I think everybody has

somebody that they know or they think that they know where, you know, I think people generally are pretty resourceful.

In my mind, I'm like, yeah, I could probably make some moves.

I know a couple of people or whatever.

In reality, I'm not making a single move on the street.

I mean, what is a move on the street?

Like, I'll give you an example of a single.

Call it probably calling in like some sort of favor.

It's probably calling in a favor from somebody who is very scared of you as well.

I think that would be making a move on the street.

Maybe.

You know, is it going to buying like drugs or something?

No, it's a sort of drug.

I'll give you an example.

All right.

So

here's the setup.

Someone bursts into an apartment.

They've got blood on them.

What happened?

Yeah, we got.

we barely get out of there alive, man.

It's like, what are you talking about?

Why have you come here?

We need somewhere to lay low for a few days.

We stole from the wrong people.

Ah, shit.

You've stolen this from the Kumeta cartel.

This is big trouble.

It's like, we just need 48 hours and then we'll be out of your hair.

You'll never see us again.

It's like, all right, I can make some moves on the street and buy you guys some time.

Stay here, stay out of sight.

That's the setup.

Okay.

You'll see that all the time.

Once you start noticing people making moves on the street,

maybe the move they're making on the street is like just some sort of like time-wasting distraction you know what is it are they popping and locking on the street are they are they busking outside the apartment on the street do they just go around and say to people yeah hello mate you know me from the street uh i'm trying to hide some people just trying to make some moves try and buy us some time what have you got

yeah what what have you what are you gonna do what but make some moves what what moves what is this move these are these are fictional movies and they can uh they can say stuff like this without having to explain it or do anything about it.

It's probably mostly implied that this person is very well connected with the local underground element of the town and can probably call in some favors or waste some time or do a distraction so that these guys who have turned up out of nowhere covered in blood and said that they're in a lot of trouble can get away and they'll never get away.

They'll be dead.

But don't you think it's funny?

that we have no idea what those moves would be.

No, really.

But we just we've accepted it as an audience.

Yeah.

But the audience is just like, oh yeah, moves on the street.

That makes sense.

But does it?

Like, could you even describe what those moves might be?

Or are we all just collectively happy to just?

Somebody's made a move on the street.

He's been making moves on the street.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I feel like a lot of this stuff is just really like throwaway stuff in the movie.

Nobody really remembers it or, you know what I mean?

It just washes over us.

Yeah, it's a situation that moves on to a bigger situation and you just sort of, you don't really think about it.

But yeah, I guess, i mean it's interesting that that one does come up a lot doesn't it yeah once you once you see it you'll see it a lot making a move on the street along with like you know you need to get some rest that's another one get some rest while you can the hero not having a drink of water even though they've been fighting aliens for 12 hours yeah they apparently don't need water Another one I've got is people just not saying in a straightforward way what the problem is or asking the questions that a normal person would ask.

So like when the entire drama and the confusion is this person not saying what the audience knows in a clear way to another character and it leads to this misunderstanding and then they don't correct them.

They just kind of go like, oh, and then the next stage of the drama is a simple misunderstanding.

Yeah.

That could have been cleared up just by speaking in a clear and adult way.

It's so fucking annoying.

Like you see it like in a comedy, if it's done for comedic effect, like a farce, like in Fraser, that's like bog standard, right?

Just thinking of Fraser again.

Lots of British comedies and comedies in that fast tradition, Someone will say something and get the wrong end of the stick, and from that is the comedy, which is fine.

But when the drama stems from someone just not really making themselves clear, you think, why didn't you just ask for an explanation?

Like, this is a life and death situation.

Aren't you going to be like, sorry, can you just clarify that for me?

Because that sounds crazy.

It's so you notice these dog shit misunderstandings lead to the whole next scene of the movie.

And then, of course, it's all resolved.

But what you just described there is

kind of a common trope as well, because they usually usually cast British people into that role.

Like, excuse me, can you just explain to me?

You know, like all of a sudden,

they just have this moment where they need clarity or whatever, but a bomb has gone off, or they're in the middle of asking for the clarity, and then the bomb goes off, and they're like,

they have to run away and stuff.

That is also a big trope.

I find that happens all the time.

Like that guy that played Scotty on Star Trek was a bit like that, wasn't he?

Oh, yeah.

He was like, you know.

If you're not careful, the engine's gonna block up

in his appalling Scottish accent.

All right, here's another one: people are only drunk if they are emotionally in trouble and need help, or they are about to get into trouble, or somehow going to be the cause of trouble.

Like alcohol in the movies, you would think that every time you have a drink, you are either your life is in a downward slide and you need rescuing, or you are somehow going to be in trouble.

No one ever just goes to the pub and has a rip roaring evening, comes home drunk, passes out on the sofa, no problemo.

It's always for dramatic effect.

You would not think that alcohol is widely used.

The way they use it in movies is the same way they use heroin in movies.

Like this person is having a fucking terrible time.

They're doing crack.

It's the same.

If they're drinking whiskey, it's like, oh, the stress is getting to them.

Their life of this, their marriage is failing.

It's all strung out and terrible.

And the booze is the signifying.

You're right.

And the barber's like a drug dealer.

Like, it's like kind of evilly giving the drinks to this guy that he knows he shouldn't yeah like this is their lowest ebb they're drinking they're drinking alcohol oh my god as if it's not the most socially acceptable drug ever yeah people are doing it all the damn time

apparently less than ever now people are drinking but i i'm not sure that this has been around

still tons of people drinking is there not like there must be not the way they used to no it's like if you if you go out there'll be people drinking but i think a lot of the people like drinking from home or going to the pub pub every day it's still older people right all right here's another one i think it's to do with the difficulty in replicating real life on tele right a lot of the time when you've got this pub or you can't fill it with extras like it's really busy or else that's like it's a lot easier to just have it like you know half empty with the barman like one couple sitting at the table behind him the camera behind the bar it's such a familiar sight as well i think if you're a writer for these tv things, or even not a writer, just on the writing team, someone says, oh, how do we make this guy look like he's at his lowest ebb?

Okay, let's have him sit at a bar, like sadly drinking whiskey.

Yeah, but that's not your lowest ebb.

That's a banging night.

Like, come on.

What are you talking about?

He's just gone to the pub.

That doesn't mean you're at your lowest ebb.

Maybe it's an American thing because drinking in America has kind of a got a CD connotation, I think, compared to the UK.

People don't go to the pub the way they do here.

I think this happens more on TV when things are more rushed, right?

Yeah, it's just cheap and it's just a cheap, lazy way to do it.

Like one of my next ones, a lot of these things come from laziness, I think.

Keys to the car being kept in the sun visor of that car.

Oh, I mean, these are all classic.

That's a classic, yeah.

There's tons of stuff.

You could do that in Jersey, by the way.

I'm sure people do.

The about to be hit by a car or bus framing in movies.

You'll know the framing I mean.

It's always the perpendicular to the road.

So the road is running completely.

they're going to get.

And they're like, dad.

And he's stepping out.

He's like, son.

And it cuts back to them for some reason at like a quite a distant shot, like a full-body shot.

And then it's like, meh, CGI bus.

Noise on the light.

So they do like the zoom up on the face, but the background zooms out at the same time.

It's that weird.

The jaws zoom.

Yeah.

And they're like, no, he's been hit by a car.

And the car's just gone.

You never see the drive.

That framing sometimes gives me

like fear.

Like, sometimes you see it unintentionally.

I'm like, oh my God, is someone about to be hit by a bus yeah and then they aren't and i'm like oh wow so i don't know whether it's so familiar now do you know what i feel like the first time i remember it was in uh a final destination film i don't know if i've ever seen one of those those are the ones where people uh die in them right yeah they step out and then a bus just goes yeah or they die in a roller coaster or something yeah so final destination is that they they got off this plane that they were meant to die on right but death is then following them and they die in all these grisly ways it's it's a really good setup for like a slasher flick right It's genuinely quite funny because there's no bad.

It's just death.

It's just death.

Yeah.

And they're like, you'll see them doing something like, I'm going, hey, honey, I'm going to finally fix that table with all my heavy power tools.

And then it's like, you're on edge watching as he's like getting the drills started.

And he's like, I'll just put this bandsaw here on this.

I got to unclog the garbureator again.

Exactly.

It's really clogged.

It's really deep.

And I reach right down.

I'll reach in down there.

But then that's not what gets him.

No.

He'll come out of there fine.

But then you'll notice a marble rolling off a shelf and some rude Goldberg machine happens behind him and an axe drops and chops him in two.

It's really, so you know they have a lot of stuff.

It's like a kid's Lego brick.

You know, he steps on it and flies backwards and slips down the

trash chute

and, you know,

pails himself into an electrical software.

Come on two lost in New York.

These are great.

All right, I've got another one.

And this is these, these last two kind of occurred to me watching a film the other night, which is quite often you will see in an American film, a character will be given a gun and they will have no idea how to use it.

Like they won't even know where to point it.

It's like they've never held a gun before.

In a country that has more guns than people, am I really meant to believe that it's so common that people will just be like, oh, what do I do?

It's like, just

that end goes at the bad guys and pull the triggers.

Okay.

It's like, fuck off.

Tons of Americans have fired guns.

What is this?

Oh, what is this strange object?

It's a gun.

You're an American.

It's a fucking gun.

You know what it is.

Odds are, you know how to use it.

What is this?

Where is this coming from?

Yeah, because he's a mathematician.

He spent all of his time in the lab, but not at the shooting range.

That's why he's...

Absolute bullshit.

It's just such an easy trope.

Because it makes the goodie look even more powerful because he knows how to use this mystical object called...

a gun.

Hello, High Water.

There's a film called Hello High Water.

I think it's set in Texas.

It's got quite a good scene where they rob a bank and like three people in there have guns and like shoot at them.

So like average people just carrying guns is like, it's a thing that happens in America.

But in the films, you would think that nobody in America ever had a gun.

It's quite funny.

Fucking tropes, eh?

Yeah.

I've got one more, but it's a little controversial.

So I don't know if you want to talk about it.

Go on.

Come on.

Fuck it.

You're killing it.

This podcast.

I don't know.

I'm killing the podcast in some ways.

No, you're doing great, honestly.

All right.

So here it is.

I was watching a film called White House Down last night on Netflix.

I finished watching it.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Channing Tatum is like the action hero.

And

it came out at the same time as another movie.

Olympus Has Fallen.

And it was fallen

with

Gerard Butler.

Was this the worst one?

This one was the better one.

This is the better one.

This is Channing Tatum.

They're both bad.

This is Channing Tatum and Jamie Fox and James Woods and

a bunch of other people in it.

Anyway, in this movie, and I feel like this is one of the last ones of this kind, the president is like someone that everybody really likes and wants to support and is a good guy.

And it's

only conservative bad guys who are interested in like the military-industrial complex

and defending America.

Yeah.

Like conservatives, they're the baddies.

And the goodies are this black liberal president who all the people are like, oh my God, it's the president.

And everybody's like, Mr.

President, and saluting him.

It's all very reverent.

And the White House lawn is like a big thing and people waving flags and like America, America, America.

And one of the baddies in it they're they say oh they get a picture i'm like oh it's this guy who is he oh he's like a right-wing fringe militia type and i'm like is that really a character that you expect to see in films now given that we just had an election where a lot of people like that are openly on the news saying this is how i feel this is why i'm voting this way and some of the people in positions of authority would probably identify more with that supposed bad guy than with Jamie Foxx's character.

Yeah, well, maybe the tone of movies

of that genre will change now.

It's going to have to.

I'm not saying that films are going to be occurring like they did under the Nazis.

I'm just saying you can't have, oh, these guys are right wing, so they're the baddies.

You can't do that anymore.

Because a lot of your older audiences that are still going to the cinema are those kind of people.

And it's now like no secret that more than a decent around half the people in America would probably have a lot more in common with the thoughts of these conservative guys who are the baddies than with these liberal progressive president types.

Yeah.

I just think you won't see a respect for the president and oh my god, it's the president thing in a movie for some time because I think in general, people fucking hate the president.

Whoever he is, they're like, fuck you, man.

So I'd like to see them remake White House down

where the crowd is going, yeah, kill that motherfucker.

There's going to be a lot of hatred, not just for specific presidents as of late, but

all of them.

Yes,

they are all despised by half the population.

They probably have been for some i know like regan won in a landslide but he was hated nixon was hated um who else is george w bush

clinton was hated bush

i don't think they were hated the way they are now i really don't oh i don't know i think they were pretty hated i think that the the divisiveness in politics now is so extreme that the idea of putting the president as someone who needs saving and if they try to make the president a kind of more neutral apolitical figure just to appeal to more people, you're still like, fuck the president.

Either way, people are going to say they're going to imprint their vision of a bad president onto that fictional character and root for them to be killed.

I think that if you had a movie now where the whole point was to kill the president, you got a decent chance that that would be the goodies trying to kill the president, whoever you are, and whichever side you're on, and you would be rooting for them to do it.

That's a big sea change in the way films work.

I think you've been spending too much time

too much time on reddit i think no i'm just saying watch old movies and see how the president is treated compared to how people view him now

okay how come in all of those series of the apprentice and are any of those people like any good he he

do you know what i mean like he did all chub did all those series of the apprentice yeah okay he must have got filtered through tons and tons of the best people yeah and they're what what are they all doing has he got is he still makes with any of them what are any of them doing from the Alan Sugar one?

No, nothing.

Nothing.

It's a TV show.

They don't.

They never fucking amount to anything.

I don't think there's any follow-through.

I think maybe some of them get a job obscurely in some weird department under one of their companies, but it's never like.

Yeah.

It's very rarely that anything happens.

One guy who won the Apprentice early on, the UK one, is now like on the

advisory panel for Alan Sugar in the show.

but you know I don't that's not really much to write home about either if you follow him on Twitter ams uh Alan Sugar um you will see that uh he tweets about products that have he's putting out yeah he's laid on some entrepreneurial thing and it'll be like with the winner or whatever and they've launched some product you never hear of it again no like ever it's like it's just it's a it's an attempt at a business it fails the end and then they go off and do something else yeah like it's not like a singer or something where they basically if they don't make it a singer, they're like, well, fuck, I'm done for.

If you're just a business person, you'll find some company that can fucking hire you.

There's like management types all over the place making good money for just whack PR firms and stuff.

So, yeah, I'm sure they'll be absolutely fine.

Well, we got to stop the podcast because you got shit to do today.

I got to take Terry to the vet.

Yeah, good luck.

Good luck, Terry.

We'll catch up with all of you guys.

I guess he's getting some hibernation tips from the vet, and he's got an underbite that needs to be sorted out as well.

Oh, right.

What a strange thing.

Fucking tortoises, eh?

Well, look after him.

Yeah, I'll try to.

See you next week.

Thank you, everyone.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

Bye.

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