Freaky Eaters | Triforce Mailbag #61

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Hello, friends, well-wishers, haters, and regular listeners.

If you fall into any of those categories, you are indeed welcome here.

This is a mailbag episode.

A very inclusive podcast, this one.

It is.

This is also an episode that some of you you will enjoy.

So

what I've got is about 150 weird eating emails.

150?

And we have to go through all of them today?

No, I'm thinking we'll just go through as many as we can stomach.

Well, good pun.

I mean, obviously, if you're eating your breakfast right now or your lunch or feeling peckish, maybe you don't listen to it.

Listen,

if you are eating, please stop eating or listen to the podcast after you have finished eating.

Or if you think this is going to upset you i mean i don't know perian is it going to upset people or is it just like stuff like people eating jaffa cakes upside down is it like let me give you an example

people eating a sandwich on a roller coaster so i i've i am not good i have not read any of these oh okay i have just taken the subject line or any of the emails that have popped up and said here's a weird email about eating and put it straight in a different folder called weird eating sorted the into in nothing it's not like we're going to work from the weirdest it's not going to build up it's not going to get weirder and weirder exactly it might be the weirdest one might be the first one all right indeed so here's an example one as an this is from jack uh when i eat custard creams bourbons or similar i will eat them in three separate phases biscuit then lick the cream off and then biscuit pretty standard right that that's the kind of opener that's like a starter a main and a dessert listen a bourbon cream yeah i shove a whole one of those in my mouth and just eat it like well indeed

i think we're gonna find out that i don't do i don't you saying you eat a biscuit in one go.

In one go.

That's why.

I don't even bite it in half.

I just eat

the whole damn thing in there, and

I'm away.

How long does it take you to crunch that biscuit?

No savoring.

Usually I'm like standing up or walking while I'm eating these things.

So you're a very functional biscuit eater.

You're just like,

it's done.

Very much so.

I have to be.

I'm on my toes all the time.

So you're just like eating that biscuit and moving.

You're multitasking.

You're eating that biscuit while you're doing the miscarriage.

I'm eating because I need to.

I'm not there's no time to savor the biscuits.

I'm not taking half an hour out of my day to like remove tops and bottoms and lick the cream.

You're not putting the biscuits in a little bowl.

You're taking them out with you.

Those are the tables.

Those years are well behind me.

We've established over something like, what, the eight years we've been doing this podcast that Sips eats purely because his body craves food,

not because he enjoys eating in any form.

So

I think you are the opposite of these weird eaters.

Actually, I would put you

in a category of

food haters, really.

I kind of hate food, yeah.

I feel inconvenienced by food and needing to sit down and that is such a shame.

That is such a shame.

Well, unlike Abby, who, when they have Big Mac from McDonald's, the Big Mac, of course, is the triple bun, eats the top burger, which is bum burger bun, and then the second meat patty completely on its own with the final piece of bread at the bottom, put chips on and roll it up like a sandwich.

So that's pretty gross.

I don't know.

I'm a bit of a methodical mixer as well.

Like if I eat a full English, I take a little bit from every type of food and do a combo on the fork and eat it.

And then slowly the whole plate just disappears.

That's like you're desperately hoping that something connects with you.

Quickly.

Do you know what I like?

Yeah, I just like the mix.

I appreciate that.

I think that that is, you know, the combination of flavors, combining them methodically, like seems very, you know, if that's your thing, that's like, that's actually fine.

But I disagree with the further processing of processed food.

We do, you do not need that processed McDonald's burger has already been processed to fuck.

It's already gone through so many industrial processes to get it where it is.

And all you're doing by working on it further.

Working.

You're working it further.

I mean, you're needing the, you're taking what is already a manufactured object,

you know, that bears no resemblance to anything you know and and and and making it into something another sandwich you don't we don't need to keep processing these things you know indeed it would be like uh it'd be like if you know i bought a chair yeah and then i you ate the chair it'd be ridiculous

broke it down and made it into a table or whatever

just yeah just figure something you you don't have to to do it you can find something if you clearly want something else well possibly but let's listen to a few of these and i i think we'll we'll we can come to a conclusion about what people are looking for i understand your point but bear with me here's one from jacob okay this is the two weird ways number one eats the entire crust of a sandwich before getting into the good bits

anything like a burger or anything with a round bone any kind of sandwich eats all the crusts off all the the bare bread and then reserves the rest of it um so for last this this i would say is an element of childhood trauma right of

where your parents have said to you to eat the crusts or you're gonna the goblins are gonna get you or you know you're not gonna get dinner or we're gonna leave you on the side of the road you know there's gonna some there's something that is happened to that child okay where they've been told that they've got to eat their crusts and so they know that that is the bad bit right and other and they don't want to go they don't want to put them to waste either they don't want to go to waste so you eat all that horrible

the bit it's not horrible even it's just different you know you get rid of that and then you could finally it's it's almost the build up as well.

You're building up to the good bit.

And I think this is, again, very normal, but also like...

A lot of people do it.

We'll put it down there.

I think it's good.

A good way to do it.

So the second part of Jacob is that when he's having like a meal, roast chicken, green beans, Yorkshire pudding, potatoes, eats all the sides first, but also eats them separately, one at a time, like a child.

Brackets sips his words, lol.

I don't mix things.

So it's just like individual.

It's just the potatoes, then just the beans, then just the Yorkshire pudding, leaving the chicken for last.

A lot of people do that.

I know, uh, I, if I have a plate of food and there's like broccoli and then everything else, I'll scarf down the broccoli first.

Um, for two reasons.

First of all, it's probably going to be the worst part of the meal.

Like, it's going to be no matter how you do broccoli.

I do some broccoli pretty well.

My kids love the broccoli.

It's not ever do like a cheese sauce with some breadcrumbs on broccoli.

It's kind of nice.

Nah, it's colour.

You can, you can, you can spruce up broccoli big time, but just eat it on it.

I like broccoli.

Of course, but I'm just saying, it's rare that you will have a plate of food and the best thing about it is the broccoli.

Like, that's a pretty boring plate.

You know what I'm saying?

So I'm saying I'll get that broccoli down me first while I'm really hungry.

I won't have to force it down at all.

That's what I'm saying.

I also, part of me thinks, is loading that into the stomach first like putting the bullet on the front of

a shell?

Because all the other food goes behind the broccoli and the broccoli is like, out of the way, going down the bowels, doing its job, and the rest of it can come on out.

It's acting like a wire brush.

Exactly.

Clearing out the clearing out the eggs.

It's not getting down there that quick.

It's the tongue.

It's got to get in there.

It's got to digest and everything.

Like, there's no way that it's getting in.

It's not getting further than that until you're like, but when you're sleeping, that's when all that shit is happening.

You know, like, like long after you've eaten.

So you don't have to worry too much about that.

Jack here is more of a sipsian diner.

Sausage, egg chips, side of toast will have one little bit of sausage, one bit of egg white, one bit of egg yolk, one or two chips, a bit of toast, all into one fork.

So they all go in together.

It's a lot harder.

He says it's a lot harder with a big meal like a Sunday roast.

You might have 10 different objects.

He wants to try and get a little bit of each one in there.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

So that's a little bit of OCD coming through.

See, strategically, though, like you said about the broccoli, I wouldn't just eat broccoli on its own.

Like broccoli, as much as I like it, is a mixer.

There's certain things that like you could just eat on their own like chips i'll just eat on their own yeah like uh i i don't need to mix chips i like to mix chips don't get me wrong but i can just eat them on their own and if i if if i have too many things on the plate i'll leave like chips maybe alone a little bit throughout because i know i can just eat those on on my own but like broccoli sprouts um

fucking carrots like all that all that kind of stuff is is it gets mixed potatoes like if it's if it's not chips if it's just like mashed potatoes or whatever that's all getting mixed because it everything just tastes better when it's all mixed up rather than

individuals right there there is an element here of wanting to savor the nice things right but the nice things is always going to be different right so for example if you have if you take it to the extreme you know and you disassemble your meal and you eat every part of it separately you know have a little pat of butter you have a little little pile of chili sauce you know that some of these things are actually horrible to eat when they're so strong a little like a

potato.

One little drop of hot chili sauce.

Excuse me, waiter.

Please bring me one little petal butter.

Thank you.

Have you ever been to a pub where

you've ordered like a Coke and they've given you like Coke syrup straight out of that Coke gum?

Yeah.

And you're like, oh, what the fuck?

And it's like super syrupy and strong.

And my dad did this when I was a kid.

you know he would just drink cordial uh not realizing it was digitally diluted

me.

For real.

And

this happened to me the other day.

I was in a restaurant and I ordered like a black iced tea or whatever.

And it came.

And it was clearly just the syrup because it was very thick and sugary.

And obviously, they get this order so infrequently, or the person, the person who prepared it didn't realize.

They just poured it out of the plastic jug, you know.

But this thing was clearly supposed to be diluted 10 times.

And so I had one sip of it and I was like, oh my God, I cannot drink this even close.

It's like barely getting up the street.

But you're describing now normal eating.

This is the weird eating episode.

No, but what I'm saying is that that, I think I talked about this the previous podcast.

That

is so rich and it's supposed to be delicious, but it's actually horrible.

And so you have to dilute it.

You have to have it with other things.

Like you can't eat raw,

you can't have chili sauce.

You need to put chips on.

You can't eat ketchup.

You can't eat ketchetches.

I would say you don't have to have one of everything on your plate together each time.

Oh, I see.

Because that's what I'm saying.

If you're saying combining chips with ketchup is some kind of wild take, I'm not saying that.

I'm just saying that for some people, it is a little unusual to go, right?

I've got to have a bit of everything.

That's, to me, is as obsessive.

So concrete are basically the cordials of food.

Exactly.

You just, you dilute them.

You dilute them.

Unless you're my four-year-old daughter who likes to use her finger to eat ketchup directly.

Hell yeah.

Like she's like, can I have some sauce?

And you think, okay, cool.

Yeah, she just wants a bit of ketchup to

No, she just eats the ketchup.

Yeah, I saw a friend of mine was eating a sausage roll yesterday, and they literally got a teaspoon of Coleman's mustard, English mustard, just had a teaspoon of it, like in a dollop on the end of the sausage roll, just went for it.

And then, you know, had a bite next dollop of mustard.

They went through like a half of a jar.

When you say friends, do I know this friend?

You know this friend, yes.

All right, can you tell me and we'll beep the name out?

It's

well, he doesn't have have a very good sense of smell, so I think he's

with him.

It's like, oh, I've got to see that.

Next time I know I'm going to see that.

A dollop of Coleman's mustard would absolutely, my head would blow up.

I was watching it like eyes goggling, honestly, while it was happening.

Imagine.

All right, anyway, this one's from Connor.

There's someone that I work with who eats pears in such a way that me and the other guys can only describe it as deep throating whilst cupping the balls.

Oh my God.

I don't know about you guys, but personally, I eat pears in a similar way to how you'd eat an apple.

You hold it sideways, use the top and the bottom to grip and eat.

Exactly.

This guy cups the pear around the thickest part at the bottom, breaks off the stem at the top, and then proceeds to put his mouth around the smaller penis-shaped part and take it all in at once.

We cannot stop laughing whenever he does this.

No, that is weird.

Now,

I have a friend who eats the entirety of apples.

Is it beep again?

No, it's a different person.

person.

But

it's astonishing again to watch that they seem to, I think they have a history where they were

restricted on the food they could eat and they weren't allowed to eat.

And there was a problem.

Like, I think they were in hospital.

Prison.

And so now, whenever they get an apple, they have to hide the evidence they were given an apple.

Do you see what I mean?

So they have to eat every single like.

Wait, can I guess who this is?

And you can beat my guess and beat Lewis's answer.

This is going to be very good.

Is it

no, but it's kind of

roguish in a sense.

Like, it's not all fruits as well.

It's only certain ones.

And the first time I saw them like, you know, eating all the crunching up all the apple pips, I was like, I'm not sure you're supposed to really eat very many apple pips because they've got some poison in them, haven't they?

No, I don't.

But I think you have to have like 10,000 apples to get poisoned with it or whatever.

Yeah.

I knew a kid at school who used to eat the core and stuff.

And when you're a kid and you're not used to that, the first time you see somebody eating the whole core you think jesus christ like why is he eating the entire core but then you just move on quick and you just think yeah even the stem though like like yeah kind of it's weird yeah but uh you know but why whatever floats your boat i think i think maybe there's like a proud likeness to it you know of of like like the indians using the whole animal you know yeah nothing goes to waste maybe although i feel like I feel like that stem is getting pooped out.

No one's digesting that.

And that can't be good for you to like.

No, that's going to be that's gonna that's gonna that's gonna uh scratch your um

your b-hole a little bit when it's coming out i think no if it's like what if it's like sticking out of the poop a bit or something you know

okay well maybe that's good yeah you know no i don't think it is good that's what i'm saying i think it's bad i think be careful out there you never know uh so uh so here we go this this person moving along

moving along uh something i didn't realize was weird until college is that i chew my drinks uh i thought it was normal until one day in college, when the girl sat next to me asked what I was doing after I'd taken a sip of my drink, she said she could hear me chewing it.

It was at that point I realized it was weird, since the whole class then took the piss out of how I would chew my drinks.

Thing is, what is the point in a nice tasting beverage if it slides right down your gullet?

At least my way, you get to savor the taste for longer.

Also, if it's a carbonated drink, I find it stings my throat if I don't chew the fizziness out of it beforehand.

All right, Lewis, that is that is a different Lewis.

Let me tell you something.

The longer you hold it in the mouth,

the more the bubbles will go.

We're not all just opening our throats and like trying to down it as fast as possible.

No, but you don't have to work your teeth up and down, which is chewing.

That is weird, especially since you're not actually doing anything.

You're just sloshing it around in your mouth.

Very odd.

Very, very odd.

Yeah, I think people who you're not a professional Semmelia, you know, swish the wine around and you fucking and spit it out.

Like, you know,

I, yeah.

What's the thing I saw recently?

I think someone said, um,

if water tastes bad to you, it's a sign of poor dental hygiene, right?

Right.

Because you're picking

rotted gum flavor along with your.

Yeah, I think you probably should visit the dentist, you know.

I think maybe just hide it.

Just do your best to, to not

chew, obviously.

It's weird.

That's weird.

That's a weird one.

That is a weird one.

Thank you, Lewis.

I like it.

So this is a weird recipe.

Nicholas's friend Alexi

has some weird food habits.

One of them is he has a burger.

So he's got the bun, got the patty, got some cheese, got some lettuce on top of there.

But he also puts rice and black olives in there,

which is a bit odd.

And there is a picture of it here.

I'll spare it for you.

It's just a picture of a burger with some rice on it.

That is odd.

But you know what?

The funny thing is, I feel like sometimes people aren't quite sure, certainly outside Asian countries and, you know, that's south and east, what to do with rice a lot of the time.

Because one of my friends, who I was hanging out with yesterday we had some prawn crackers and they load up the prawn cracker with rice and then eat it that way.

That doesn't sound too bad.

Pretty weird though.

No, that's wrong.

That is the same thing.

That's like loading up your

nacho chip with a bit of potato, mashed potato.

That's what I'm saying.

Well, if you guys have like a curry with a naan bread, do you put like, do you rip a bit of your naan bread off and then scoop up like a bunch of rice

and dal, yeah?

Not dry rice.

No, I'm not sure.

No, well, dry rice and naan bread.

No, no.

That's madness.

But you wouldn't just have plain rice and naan.

The whole point of the naan is that it goes with the sauce, right?

Yeah, you have a limited amount of this.

I'd have plain rice, like, if that's all there was.

Yeah, but you hate food.

Yeah, I would still.

What are you talking about?

I eat food if that's all there was.

We're not talking.

But you don't go to a curry restaurant and order a bowl of plain rice.

They usually, you have the rice to soak sop up okay what if you ordered like a whole bunch of beautiful plain rice to have with the sauce and then you got the sauce and you didn't really like it so you're like oh well i guess i'm just eating plain rice now

the crawl cracker and rice thing is meant the naan is really there to replace a knife and a fork like you you use the naan to eat the curry with because that's like the way of getting it to your gob rather than saying well i will take this naan load it with plain rice

and eat it that way like that is a bit weird.

So, so the weird thing to you is that you have plain rice full stop.

You're against plain rice.

With what?

With nothing.

It's plain rice.

So I'm boiling rice.

I'm not

doing anything.

I serve the plain rice and I eat it.

Yeah.

That's what we're talking about, is it not?

Right.

Why would you do that?

This guy has access to just plain rice.

We're talking about serving the plain rice with a side of brown rice.

Oh.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, or

getting a slice of white bread and having that with your rice.

Having a rice sandwich.

It's white bread.

Having a bread sandwich where it's brown bread, white bread, brown bread, and eating that.

Yeah, and you put some rice on the top.

Right, you know, but just to put some plain.

Okay, but the thing is, like, what is this psycho?

You're saying he's putting plain rice on

a

prawl cracker?

No, no, no.

So my friend puts it, has the prawl cracker and uses it like a shovel to load up.

But that's like having a crisp and dipping it in mashed potato.

And although some people will do that i understand that some of you animals do that but that is no way to conduct yourself but what else was on offer at the time though like what what was available to him what do you mean exactly this is the thing what do you mean what do i mean

what the fuck what else was he eating

right

so what's in it i want to know what else was there he wasn't the only option wasn't just those two things right of course if you had only those two things and you were on a desert island

it's simple why is it so difficult what else was there i see i don't know i just saw him doing that he had it you know in this video he had all this what do you mean you don't know

i saw him do that i didn't watch the rest of him right the time he was eating like a hawk waiting for him to slip up i just saw that

Fucking hell.

Let's move on.

This is from Z Games.

Had a manager in a shop I worked in who would bring a banana in, leave it upstairs in the office for over a week until the whole skin went dark brown, then peel part of the skin back and eat the squidgy banana gloop inside with a spoon.

That is gross.

That is

not allowed.

That is instant dismissal

with no benefits.

What are you scooping it out with a prawn cracker?

Again, I don't think you is

a close one.

It's like having a banana.

Here's another one that I had this conversation recently with a very, very good family friend of ours about the way to eat bananas.

And I know that bananas seem to be one of those things that a lot of people have weird ways of eating.

The way I always eat them is I hold it at the bottom with a sort of blackened bit where it connects to the, I don't know what that bit is.

It's like the anus of the banana, that bit.

I break off the stalk at the top.

And I peel the banana down and then I hold the bottom of the banana.

I eat it.

When I get to the very bottom, I pull out that last bit, pop it in my mouth, and throw the

rest in the bit.

That's what I do.

I chuck out the last bit.

So, what do you do with the pinched-off anus bit at the top?

Oh, well, that's good.

That goes.

Like,

there's this weird bit of the banana.

So, imagine that the shape of a banana with the classic bit with the stalk at the top.

I'm snapping that and peeling that.

And it bruises the top of the banana.

Sometimes it doesn't sometimes.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

So, you're eating a banana, like 99% of people eat bananas.

Sometimes you have to dig your nail in order to get a nice banana.

My friend made the point that what you can do is use the stalk to hold the banana, like almost like a lollipop, and then you eat it from the other end.

And I was like, yes, now this is a very, this is the way monkeys eat bananas.

If you squeeze that anus,

it pops open much more easily, but you do, you are confronted with that little brown bit on the end.

And some people I know love eating that bit, fucking psychic.

Animals, yeah.

And I sort of always awkwardly remove it and like put it to one side, and then I've got banana gul over my hand.

But then you can enjoy the rest of the banana.

But I'm just, I mean, so that you know, bananas.

I rarely, I tell you what, I rarely resort to that, but because normally I'd rather, but sometimes you have a slightly green banana and it won't open easily.

And if you've cut your nails or something, you don't have a knife.

I like when they're, I like when they're slightly green, like they're firm.

Oh, I don't, I don't like a goopy banana.

Like, if it's too goopy, here's the other thing: if it there's a point where the banana is just the right level of moist, if it goes too far into

like the blackened skin of the banana where it looks like it's going to die um it's it's kind of dried out at that point yeah and if it's too ripe it's also kind of too mealy too

dry

yeah it's got that that that thing yeah that that plasticky taste to it i think or whatever it is like that that taste of the skin into

uh

quite a few people saying they eat eat baked beans raw from the tin or they just eat raw baked beans.

I think it's pretty gross.

I wouldn't do it.

I like them cooked.

Again, I mean,

I get a push, I would do it, but like, if I, if I had the ability to heat them up, I would heat them up.

I don't think it's going to kill you to eat them straight out of the tin.

They're already cooked.

They're already

They've already been cooked.

I think the beans themselves like the Heinz beans are I again I think something that is so highly flavored that eating it on its own is a problem for me.

It's so sugary and like you know whereas I think you can get less

nicer beans like if you go to tap ass restaurants they sometimes have those big ones and they're not as like they're not as beanie as the high chupan shit as the beanie hines ones and so i feel like they are they're edible cold and i'm fine with it and i have eaten baked beans cold but i'm not a fan no um so let's move on

this is todd uh works at a pizza pasta restaurant uh in new zealand uh these are some of the orders uh that todd has received um a customer adds banana and anchovies to a hawaiian pizza that's pretty gross right Where can you even get that from?

I mean, it doesn't seem like it would be on the menu for a start, but

I don't know how this works.

About once a week, a regular orders a chicken cranberry brie pizza and adds Caesar dressing.

That's disgusting.

Do you know that sounds very normal?

That's like a pretty nice.

It does not sound normal.

Right, but it's not a pizza.

That's the point.

Another regular.

Cranberry pizza.

Yes, is it chicken?

Cranberry brie.

So that brie with cranberries in for some reason.

Cranberry brie.

Lovely.

Caesar dressing on top.

That is a bit weird.

The Caesar caesar is a bit of an odd another but obviously they found that it works for them yeah requests that they're pasta to have no seasoning whatsoever so they just get pasta no bacon no parmesan whatever the white wine sauce is plain water so it's just completely plain water and some boiled chicken

that's how they have why are you going why are you leaving your house for this you just

you can really do that at home you can knock it up for pennies yeah i mean yeah it's Maybe they do.

I mean, even with toppings and stuff, like,

I wouldn't ask for anything like out of the way at a restaurant.

Yeah.

Or even if I ordered something.

Like if I wanted to add bananas and anchovies to a pizza, I would make sure I had bananas and anchovies at home.

Oh, you'd smuggle them in.

Order the pizza and then I'd put them on myself if I wanted to do that.

You're in a restaurant.

You bring in a little, a little tiny box.

No, and the waiter's like, look, he's doing it.

He's doing it again.

He always does this.

Looking over each shoulder, then opening the box and taking out pre-sliced pieces of banana and attributes.

Yeah, I'd like to put it over the pizza.

He goes, scooping out banana goop with a

little banana.

He thinks we can't see his secret banana and attributes.

Yeah, I wouldn't do, I wouldn't, I wouldn't ever do anything like that.

I would just, I would just order what's on the menu and eat it.

And if, if that was a problem, I would stay home.

There is a

very common autistic issue called sensory processing disorder, where I think people have a desire for consistency and there's this food aversion to strong flavours of taste.

So I think I have seen people order a plain bowl of pasta, plain bowl of rice and things like that before, because

it's very reassuring and comfort.

It's a comfort food.

And so I think that this stuff is not abnormal, but I think that these people who are doing this do have to have supplements and things like this because you're not going to get

if you're just eating boiled chicken and boiled pasta.

That's going to be, that's not going to,

it's not the rainbow of flavors you need to eat every day to keep your body healthy.

Again, I would just stay home if I was, that's what I was looking to eat.

I mean, that's so easy to make.

Like, you don't even want to eat it.

Well, but sometimes you're out and about.

Sometimes,

you know, you know, not everyone can stay home all the time, Sips, like you.

You know, sometimes people got lives, got shit to do.

They got...

people to visit and they have to they have to go on the road they can't bring themselves a pasta boiler on the go yeah you know a little rice cooker with them they They gotta take their inconveniencing everybody else's road show on the road.

Honestly, so here's the thing: I don't know if you've ever been into a restaurant in the last year, but everyone is an inconvenience.

I mean, I go out with a group of four people, and one person is gluten-free, one person's vegan, one person's allergic to this thing, and that's all me.

Do you know what I mean?

And then the next person is, you know, can't eat this.

The next person's this, like, you know, and so it is a nightmare.

Um, and a lot of places are used to catering for very specific dietary crimes.

And quite honestly, you know, they're being paid enough.

So maybe

they should do their best to handle everyone and cater for everyone.

But honestly, it's a nightmare now.

It's not like it used to be when we were young.

You know, people just, you just gave them a burger with a bourbon cream in it and said, fuck off.

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On with the show.

On with the show.

So here's a.

This is from Cody.

I was at university with a lad.

This guy had a bit of a weird way of eating.

He would emerge from his room only to indulge in the following meal approximately three to four times a week.

First, he would roast a packet of chicken drumsticks.

Then he would microwave a curry-ready meal.

Then he would take a large food-safe container that resembled a plastic bucket, combine the two meals together.

That sounds pretty good.

That sounds pretty good.

In all honesty, That's like taking a curry with tanned or chicken and curry.

I think that's absolutely fine.

Yeah, I don't see a problem with that at all, Cody.

It might be a bit of a preparation, might be a little odd, but I think having cooked chicken in a curry is not unusual.

No, not at all.

But he did eat cold Dolmio pasta sauce directly from the jar.

So that's the problem.

Again, I mean, if you're about to collapse from starvation and that's all that there is, yeah, he's not playing Day-Z, though, is he?

I mean, it's not a little bit universal.

Right.

Yeah, I'm sure someone's got some fucking microwave noodles he can have with that.

You know,

he doesn't have to, like, chow down on an entire fucking jar of smoked ham or whatever the fuck's going on.

Indeed.

This is from gaping vagina halver Hannah.

Right.

That's her words, not mine.

Hello.

As a very autistic person, having a full bowl of cereal and a nice glass of milk makes sense because you can get the perfect cereal to milk ratio.

When you're almost finished, the last bits of cereal in the bowl aren't soggy.

However,

whenever I eat jelly, I put a big spoonful in my cheek and suck it between my teeth till it's not solid anymore.

That is a bit odd.

And they once vaped olive oil juice.

Oh,

that is a bit odd.

So also, shout out to Hannah's boyfriend, Basil, who hates the podcast.

Right.

Oh, shout out.

So, yeah.

Wow, that's great.

It's totally understandable.

I think the I hate it too.

I'm on the same thing.

The jelly thing.

The jelly thing is messed up.

The jelly thing's messed up.

But that's almost like a thing that you, it's like a little fun mouthfeel experience, you know, for you.

It's like a little, a little adventure.

It's like going on a roller coaster ride in your mouth.

So you do you.

As long as you're not doing it in public, that's, I think, you know, in a restaurant, I think it's going to, it's going to not go down so well.

Well, I mean, yeah, if you're already asking for like fucking a million things that aren't on the menu, you might as well just be doing that shit in the restaurant as well.

you know what i mean like i think that's different yeah um you don't have to go to a restaurant people you don't have to go to one like you you can just you can choose to not go to one even if you're button about and you don't have a choice you can still just go home you're but but often people aren't you listen sips you're the decision maker in your family yes not people aren't you know your wife is being dragged along

i i would love to hear mrs sips uh response to that comment everybody thinks they're the they're the decision maker Listen,

I call the shots in this marriage.

I'm the decision maker.

I'd love to hear her response to that.

Yeah.

I'm just saying that a lot of people are in that position.

They're being dragged along and they're being forced to go to the restaurants

for social reasons, for all sorts of reasons, you know.

Let me give you an example.

I have no choice now because I'm away for work for two weeks.

I can't just go home.

I have to eat

what I can get.

And we get takeaway every meal.

We've got like an account set up with one of the takeaway thingies.

That sounds amazing.

Yeah, it's good.

I get like 80 quid a day to spend on food.

I haven't gone over my limit once.

I'm trying real hard, but I'm just eating for one.

It's difficult.

Anyway, this is from Alex.

When you order your food on the takeaway, you just order what's there, right?

You're just like, okay.

I mean, yeah, it's like a million things, but yeah, I just order whatever I want.

Right.

So

what have you had?

Well, how you listen, I reckon we could spend that money, you know?

Oh, no, easy.

Some chocolate cakes in.

So the thing is, it's a lot cheaper here than it was the last time I did this, which was when we were in Seattle.

Actually, Copenhagen was similar.

So last year I was in Copenhagen.

We had the same setup.

You're given a business account and they put credit into your account every day and you spend that on your meals.

Breakfast is included at the hotel.

So you're only really doing lunch and dinner.

So

when I'm in Europe, you know, I can live like a king.

I can have a really nice take.

80 quid a day is like a succulent meal.

Every meal is a succulent meal.

As a delicious.

As a succulent as I can make it.

But when I was in America, when we were in Seattle, which is the first time we did this, I could get a sandwich and a Coke for 80 bucks.

And I'm not even exaggerating.

It was that expensive.

I will show you the receipts next time I'm in Bristol, the receipt for how much takeaway cost on Uber Eats in Seattle.

And that's before groceries were down.

Yeah, exactly.

That's a long time before groceries were definitely.

That was before, yeah.

So here we go.

This is from Alex.

At lunch, he went to school in America.

The pizza that was served in the canteen, it was like rectangular pieces of pizza.

They didn't do a server.

It was like a big sheet, baking sheet of pizza, and they just cut you off a square.

Every time I got the pizza, I would bite the edges of the rectangular pizza so that it would form the shape of the continental United States of America.

For example, one big bite near the bottom right corner would form the Gulf of Mexico.

Another couple of bites would form the Great Lakes.

A series of nibbles would make the contours of the east and west coast, etc.

Once I was happy with the shape, I would then imagine myself as some kind of planet-sized monster devouring the country and tallying up the millions of people killed and eaten.

Right.

I think that's fantastic.

Ever leave your house again.

It's not safe out there.

The cheese on the edges of the pizza slice were usually toasted to a darker color.

In my mind's eye, these represent a higher population density than a lighter-colored cheese in the middle.

That is amazing.

I love that so much, Alex.

That's so weird.

That's awesome.

I think this is the kind of thing which leads someone in a direction of doing that as their talent.

Jeremy, they're a TikTok star and they turn pizza, they bite pizza into art.

It's like mashed potatoes.

It's a form of that, I think.

You've got to be careful not to get dragged into it as your career.

It's like I'm a professional pizza cruncher now.

By the way, this does remind me of when we went to Australia.

They have a little habit in Australia of going to restaurants and you being able to order things by the meter.

It's like a little gimmick.

And

we did it a couple of pizza places where we got a meter or multiple meters of pizza, and it comes on this.

This is sort of rectangular, but it comes on this long, you know, you

running down the entire table.

And I think we ordered because they were like, Well, one meter will be enough for four of you or something like that.

And so, we ordered two meters and fucking so much pizza.

Yeah, we had so much left over.

It felt incredibly white.

I feel like I can endlessly eat pizza, like it's the one food where, like, I would never leave any behind.

You know, I would just, I would, I'd finish it all no matter how much was left.

It'd be like, oh, there's like still 20 pieces of pizza.

Okay,

I would I would eat them But but here I found a few other things that you can order by the meter

This is a meter long brat worst bratverst

You can order a meter long burrito

It's it's like look at this guy.

He's holding it.

It looks like a fucking newborn baby, but actually it's a meter long burrito.

uh he says uh this this thing kept three people fed for two days um so i just like the idea of that you can order meter long pasta like um in like ravioli kind of in like those like that flat uh strips whatever it is not ravioli what my thing

this yeah whatever long long pasta you can order stuff by the meter i think it's greeny you can even get like a kebab a meter long kebab it's wasteful this is from uh i think i'm pronouncing this right aoifa from Ireland.

Oreo cookies were a favorite of Aoifa when watching DVDs on every Saturday.

Her dad would pick up some snacks for her.

She'd sit there and eat them.

So this is how she eats them.

Classic comfort food.

She would eat them with milk.

Pretty traditional.

But the combo was executed slightly differently.

I would grab about five to six Oreos, small glass of milk, and a spoon.

I would then chew up the Oreos one at a time, but instead of swallowing, I would spit it into the milk.

After all the the Oreos were transferred from my mouth into the milk.

That's not right to do it.

I would take the spoon, mix it up a bit, and eat it.

I genuinely thought it was the most delicious thing ever, full of sort of pudding-like texture and would fill me with joy.

The downside of the snack was I could only eat it in private.

Yeah, indeed.

Yeah, of course.

Eventually, matured into a 12-year-old and stopped the chewing up part and would just crush them into the milk, but it never hit quite the same.

That is disgusting.

That's the first really almost made-me gag one that we've had yet.

Dunk them in there.

You Some people do a long dunk and let them go a bit soggy or whatever.

That's fine too.

But like, just a little dunk and then eat the damn cookie fucking.

When you're a kid like that, you're just an animal.

Jeremy, it's like a dog eating son of a kid.

You can't leave them on their own.

You just can't leave them on their own.

It's revolting.

And what you're doing there is basically the job of a food processor, making a milkshake, an Oreo milkshake, right?

But in your own mouth,

which is, I guess it all ends up in the stomach like that anyway but i just feel like this the regurgitating nature of it that is we're not you know you're not a mummy bird we've evolved

we hope nest of chicks we don't need to do that

that honestly is the worst one we've had so far it's made my mouth water a bit with how uncomfortable i feel about it gosh well here's one from uh from harrison that might turn your stomach uh yet further uh back in 2015 had just started attending a catholic high school didn't know many people but i found a quickly found a group of people to hang with.

There was a lad called Connor, had a strange way of eating Smith's branded salt and vinegar crisps.

It was only these ones.

He would start by licking one side clean, then the other.

Then he would put the whole chip in his mouth and pull it out.

And once the chip was totally cleaned, he would then eat it.

And he would do that with every single chip.

Since I would always sit with this group at lunch, I picked up on his habit.

I eventually called him out on it and asked, why do you molest your chips like that?

Immediately after this, he became known as Connor the Chip Molester.

I think that's fair.

That is pretty fucking gross.

That is awful.

Fairly fucking gross.

Okay, we've reached the gruesome ones, and I'm not happy about it at all.

It'd be interesting to see whether or not Connor is currently serving a life sentence in jail or not.

I feel like that's...

That's true.

That might be the signifying.

Yeah, I feel like it's like maybe that was like a gateway into serial killing or something, you know, like it's, you know what I mean?

Yeah, here's a quickfire one: honey and marmite on toast.

Your thoughts?

This is from Seb.

Nope, not for me.

No, absolutely not.

It might work, like the salty and sweet.

It might, it might have, he might have stumbled on the next big thing, you know.

The hot honey is a big deal at the moment.

So

it's like the new

flavor, isn't it?

Just honey warm.

Spicy honey, I think.

Spicy honey, not just warmed honey, but spicy.

No, no, it's like spicy, spicy honey.

I see.

Microwaved honey.

Chili honey.

But they're using it for like everything from crisp flavours to Jaffa cake flavors and stuff.

And it's all over the place.

It's the new pumpkin spice latte.

But I think it's going to die a very rapid death.

Honey's expensive.

It's kind of weird.

It's crazy.

You ever seen that Manuka honey?

Like from, was it New Zealand or whatever?

It's meant to have some healing properties or something.

I don't know, but like a little jar is like 20 bucks.

It's fucking crazy.

Yeah, but basically that is.

They know their audience.

Yeah.

That's a very...

Manuka honey is always, I've always hated it, but it's one of these things.

Obviously, bees have collected the pollen from the Manuka trees.

That's what it is.

And

it's supposed to have things in it that are good for you.

Right.

But I don't think it's actually particularly who fucking knows.

What does RFK have to say about it?

That's what I want to know.

Yeah.

Let's get here.

We're going to eat the honey from the Manuka tree.

If we don't eat bad things, we got to give people honey.

You're in the pocket of big honey.

Admit it.

The bees have got to you.

This is from a tiny dick haver.

Takes a whole dill pickle, big deal pickle, chews on it without breaking the surface of the pickle.

Okay.

So masticating the pickle with enough pressure to damage the inside and turn it to liquid without breaking the outer skin and will then

break open the top of the pickle with their teeth and drink the pickle juice.

Sorry, you're going to hell.

That's pretty gross.

You'll be in hell after this life.

That's the only place that'll take you.

That's disgusting.

I can't believe that.

Wow.

That is

one from Josh.

That's a bad one.

A couple of weird ones here.

Partner and brother-in-law are the guilty parties here.

Whenever my partner's cooking potatoes, she will always cut off a piece and eat part of the potato raw.

Oh, she said she likes the taste of them raw and will always cut multiple pieces off for herself.

Now, that's a bit odd.

That's a bit odd.

I think, because I don't know if it's a bit of a potato.

It's not actually disgusting, but it's just

weird.

I think it's fine, but again, it's one of these things that it's indigestible, potato, right?

It has to be cooked.

And so when you, if you eat it, it won't be digested when it goes through you.

And that can give you problems

and discomfort.

And also, it's got no nourishment value, right?

Here we go.

Eating raw potatoes.

Same thing with a lot of

mushrooms.

It can cause gas, bloating, and diarrhea because they're indigestible, resistant starch lectins and the compound solanine in large quantities is actually toxic so you shouldn't do it no yeah well it's it's exactly and the other thing is a similar thing with mushrooms so mushrooms when you if you put mushrooms raw mushrooms on top of a pizza and you try and cook the pizza in the oven that doesn't cook the mushrooms enough to soften them what's wrong with raw mushrooms digestible well the way easy cooks in those well you're not really supposed to eat a lot of some mushrooms you can eat raw but a bunch of them you can't um Can my dogs eat mushrooms?

Yes, they can eat them.

Not too many.

Not too many.

I think it's just like chocolate that you got to avoid with dogs, right?

Yeah.

They shouldn't really have a lot of chocolate or anything like follow-up.

Josh's brother-in-law eats Watsits with a fork.

Okay.

Watsits for international listeners are like Cheetos, basically.

Yeah.

Or whatever the Australian.

They're a bit softer than the Gabriel.

Cheetos are quite crunchy, aren't they?

Yeah.

It's mainly he doesn't want to get the dust on his fingers.

Fair enough.

But Watsits are soft enough that you could like a Cheeto, I don't think you'd get a fork through.

It would just shatter the Cheeto, you know?

Maybe, yeah, they are quite spongy.

Yeah.

When I was a kid, we were very poor in the southern U.S.

This is from Joey.

My dad would get a whole raw cabbage, take off the outer layer of leaves, leaving the inner meat.

He would then grab the salt shaker, put it on the cabbage and take a bite.

And he would do that until only the core was left, and then he would throw it out.

He would also grab a raw carrot out of the fridge, wash it, put salt in the palm of his hand, and rub the carrot into it, munch it until it was gone.

Really?

My dad rarely drank, but during NASCAR season, he would sometimes buy a tall boy of Bud Light and put salt on the rim of the can.

Really?

Damn.

Looks like, yeah, he has blood pressure medication now, apparently, according to Joe, which is fair enough.

But yeah, that's a lot of salt.

I do think raw cabbage, I haven't tried it, but it's probably fine.

Since you don't really need to cook cabbage that much, if you think about if you get a stir-fry or something like that, I would recommend

really cooking cabbage unless you want your whole house to stink like gym socks.

I do love cabbage, though.

You are

cooked.

I think it depends on the cabbage.

Again, it's probably more nutritious when it's cooked because it changes a lot of the stuff.

And I think the other thing is about it is you can, I mean, you could obviously eat it raw if you, but I think when you ferment it into kimchi and stuff, it breaks that does sort of sink.

It's very good for your gut as well.

Probably help lower your fucking blood pressure as well, Joey.

Honestly, like, more the green leafy vegetables are the way

this is

Sam's Sam's boy dinner according to his fiancé right okay fridge cold baked beans mixed with salad cream in the tin and then dunks slices of cheese into it that's disgusting that's pretty good what's wrong with you what's wrong with you so so so so what are you talking about like uh something that you eat when you're a student and then you just get a taste for it and it follows you into adult life or something like yes and and when you imagine you come home late and you've got like oh you're like oh my god i can't be asked to cook something proper or i've not put put any food in.

You just open the tin of beans, put some salad cream or whatever the fuck he said.

You know, I think, do you guys have this kind of like girl dinner, like type food?

I don't have a girl dinner because I'm a man.

I know, but

a girl dinner is like a phrase which means like a, like, it'll be like a plate with some peas on it and, you know, a piece of chicken.

I don't understand why it's called a girl dinner.

It's just shit.

Don't dress it up as some, some, some, something that, that, uh, oh, only girls understand this.

It's dog shit.

Pull your fucking finger out and cook yourself, even just a bit of toast.

Just do something, not just eating this raw ingredients that aren't meant to go together.

What's wrong with you?

Yeah, it takes five minutes.

It's five minutes.

I've got to store like some cereal or something.

Just lazy.

Yeah.

Here's a collection of we've got to get through so many of these, Lily.

We've got to get through so many.

This is Craig from Bournemouth.

Shout out to Craig from Bournemouth.

Lived all over.

No, no, the good bits, but he's lived all over.

He's just listed them all.

Weird eating habits.

A friend in his 60s eats Weetabix with butter.

So he butters it like toast

and dunks it in his tea.

I think that could be a secret hack, life hack, unlocked, honestly.

I'm going to try to put like, like spread jam on Weetabix.

I think I might like that.

Apparently, he puts jam on at Christmas.

So there you go.

Right.

My dad in his 60s dunks buttered toast into tea in the morning.

So butter his toast and then dunk it in his tea.

That's pretty disgusting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I did have a rice cake yesterday that was, and I didn't realize it had been buttered.

And I took a bite of it and it was like all cold and wet.

And I thought the person I took it from had like drooled on it or spilled water on it or something.

But I realized it was just the butter on a rice cake.

It was horrible.

Can't recommend it.

You don't like butter on a rice cake?

Have you ever had a Marmite rice cake before?

It's not very good.

It wasn't very good.

I don't mind a rice cake.

No, a Marmite rice cake.

What about a chocolate covered rice cake?

Those are pretty good.

Wait, wait, wait.

You don't like it when you put butter on a rice cake, you're like, ooh,

I wouldn't

have to.

Olivio or whatever.

Butter on a rice cake.

There's one of them sugar-free, sugar-free, fat-free, salt-free, rice.

You know, the most fucking basic bits.

That seems like the only thing that makes it edible is a little bit of spread on top.

I know.

I just don't like the rice cakes.

I think it's

rice.

They're pretty boring, aren't they?

I think rice cakes feel like diet food for women who are trying to lose weight.

Yeah.

Like when Homer had a lot of them.

I like them, though.

I eat rice cakes.

Yeah, they're good.

I don't like the flavoured ones.

I like to put something on it, but what are you going to do?

Give me some some guacamole on it or something, something.

Cream cheese is quite nice to have.

Walk me up.

Give me some hummus.

Give me some hummus.

Yeah, that'd be fun.

Yeah, hummus.

Hummus on a rice cake.

I don't think I've ever tried that.

Oh, man.

Just

some hummus with some breadsticks.

This podcast is just, you know, serving up goal after goal for us to, you know, try out later on in the

pizza with a knife and fork, by the way, is quite a common thing.

I'm getting emails about pizzas with a knife and fork.

Look, it's not that bad.

Go for it.

A lot of pizzas.

Yeah, if it's really hot or if it's, you know what?

Some restaurants you go to, they don't fucking slice the pizza.

So you've got to use a knife and fork to cut it.

And at that point, I'm like, look, this thing's kind of falling apart anyway.

I'll just fucking go with a knife and fork.

Yeah, it depends on the pizza here.

Like, if we're talking about a

chip pie, loaded up to the gills with toppings and you can't pick it up, yeah.

Yeah, really hot.

I mean, I wouldn't eat it on my cocktail.

I've eaten a burger that was too loaded with a knife and fork before.

Like, it was just, it was pissing me off so much that all the stuff was like leaking out of the burger onto my hands and stuff that I just ate the rest of it with a knife and fork.

Yeah, I mean, even like the, I saw we had some pizzas last night at this, this do, and um, I watched Duncan eat like it looked like the most cartoon pizza slice you've ever seen.

Do you know what I mean?

And he just held it up like, and I ate it.

And I saw like the, all the grease from the pepperoni and stuff was like dripping, dripping and like narrowly avoiding dripping on him.

And I was like, oh my days.

Yeah.

Oh my days.

I was like, oh my days.

He's going to get greased all over his new cobber, isn't he?

Oh, my days.

I'm sorry.

That's got into my vocabulary for some reason.

I just find it so.

I do like that.

Oh, my days.

So this lad, two hula hoops, the crisps, and would take a starburst, or for older people, an opal fruit, and put it between the two hula hoops like a sandwich.

And would sometimes do this with the wrapper still on the starburst.

That is weird.

What the hell?

What do you do with the green water with the wrapper?

Just eats it.

You swallow the waxy wrapper.

You're just not supposed to be eating that.

It's plastic.

So I would full of microplastics.

What are you doing?

Just a weird little thing.

He said, honestly, that is a fucked-up one with the whole hula hoops.

That's like too much.

You're very salty.

Even putting the Starburst inside a hula hoop on its own without the wrapper is pretty weird.

And then with the wrapper, it just like tips it right over into

that whole process.

No.

How about this post-gym?

This is from Matt.

This is a post-gym bodybuilder's sandwich called the Super Sandwich.

All right.

So here's what goes in.

Peanut butter, tuna, mayonnaise, garlic, lettuce, and spinach all in a sandwich.

Run me through that one again, please.

So you put, you put you look at it and then you go.

I'm imagining you could get a baguette, right?

Yeah.

Cut it open inside that.

Peanut butter all up and down the sides.

Some tuna, a bit of mayo,

some garlic.

Stuff lettuce and spinach in there and eat.

Okay, so

what's this garlic thing?

What's this?

What's this?

Garlic is

it's related to the onion uh it's like a bulb that grows in the ground you take it out and it's quite delicious but what you just how much are we putting in and i don't know he doesn't give a fucking recipe lulu he's just listing ingredients these are just i don't know why that's in there add garlic to taste all right add garlic to taste who's ever said that that's what recipes say i'm trying to help you out here you ask me how much i don't know you can't go into a restaurant and they're like would sir like some more garlic to taste exactly yeah exactly garlic is never served as a condiment

it is in bodybuilding Dad's sandwich shop.

All right.

Look, the lettuce and spinach, I mean, there's not much space left by the sounds of it if you've already added peanut butter, tuna, jamming, mayo, garlic.

Also, tuna and mayo is tuna mayo.

Just make the tuna mayo.

Yeah, and also why you added spinach and lettuce.

Make your mind up.

Yeah, make one or the other.

Make your fucking mind up.

One of them's plenty.

Like, you know, lettuce and spinach.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Maybe like spinach and rocket or something that combines nicely.

No.

But lettuce and...

I mean, lettuce and spinach is.

Just massive.

It's not.

Don't get your greens.

Yeah, so it's a lot of greens, I guess.

Have your lettuce on the side.

Yeah, this is from Rob.

This is porridge.

This is the majority of his intake is with this meal.

Fill a salad bowl, which is larger than a pasta bowl, with a mound of chunky oats, sliced banana, and about a pint of milk.

Right.

Microwave for 15 minutes at a thousand watts.

What are you doing?

You're looking for

it, and the milk basically begins to caramelize.

It will look like a slice of brain pour in another pint of milk and stir if you haven't burned the oats this will rehydrate the mixture and it will now be fluffy topped with granola for some crunch that is insane yeah insane that is first of all i think oatmeal depends like if it's if it's the the rolled oats like that you get the ready break oats that come in a powder then that is gonna be very processed so it's actually quite um quite well is it hygiene which Whichever one it is that gets processed quickly by your body.

Whereas like the more coarse oats, which I think is what he's going for here, the

steel cut oatmeal is much more hard to cook.

And so maybe that's why it's taking so long to go through in the microwave.

I see.

But as a result, it's like more, it digests more slowly and it's less calorific.

I think I guess most of the calories are coming from the milk and the banana, but it's not very fattening.

Like it's not much calories.

And if that's most of what you're eating in the day, you should eat some vegetables as well, my dude, or some fruits.

I feel like I feel one small bowl of oatmeal is enough.

Yeah.

Not a side project.

I mean, that's worth every day.

That's a lot of oatmeal.

That's that's

why hates it, apparently, which is fair enough.

Yeah.

All right, peanut butter with hot sauce.

I'm sorry.

No.

I'm giving such a hot take on every single one of them.

Feel free.

That's the point of this podcast.

This is a special podcast.

You get your peanut butter, your toast, and then you put hot sauce on top.

Why?

It tastes like a Vietnamese sub.

Right.

It might work.

I think that might genuinely work.

It's, yeah, like.

Because that's almost like a satay sauce you're making there.

Yeah, like every noodle.

I don't think that's too bad.

Like a pad thai on toast, but without the noodles.

So, yeah, fair flavor.

Pad toast.

Yeah, pad toast.

There you go.

Now you've got a name for it.

I'm going to make some pad toast.

Oh, yeah, sure.

I think that might work.

Peanut butter and

chili sauce.

Yeah, I could do it.

I had a few of these people who eat the entire strawberry, including the leaves and the stems.

Right.

Again, I get it.

Like, some people crunch down on those watermelon seeds.

They're crazy.

I spit them all out.

I spit them out.

And peanuts eats the whole thing, shell and all.

No, eats the shell.

You're not supposed to do that.

No, you're not.

Even the monkeys don't do that.

I mean,

so take a lesson from the elephants.

Do they eat the whole thing?

I guess they do.

I think they do eat the thing.

You eat like an elephant, mate.

Well, I mean, the thing is, like, a peanut to an elephant is like a fucking sesame seed to them.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

They're just licking up a part of those sesame seeds.

Elias elephants.

She don't actually eat peanuts, though.

I don't know.

They do in the cartoons, and that's all I'm going for.

So I'm sure they'll go in and grab a handful of them.

You'll go for anything.

A snout full of them.

A trunk.

Whatever.

It's a snout at the end of the trunk, I guess, right?

It's like a little snout.

Okay.

I don't know what they're correct.

It's like a little, it's like, it's like a couple of fingers that can pinch, right?

It's like semi-yeah, they don't eat semi-prehensile.

Yeah,

they use it to like put food into their actual mouth.

Like they're not like

it's not like a vacuum cleaner for peanuts.

I don't think they're grabbing peanuts with that.

They suck them up and then they shoot them out.

They're like a machine gun, yeah.

Like that.

All right.

So, a weird eating habit.

Uh, Tim's dad

was a single dad with three kids.

So, he's trying his best here, but he obviously doesn't know what to cook.

Peaches with fish sauce.

Well,

which is like the fish sauce that you'd add if you've got a cleaner.

The mystery has been solved.

We know why Tim's dad was single.

Yeah, sushi on sushi on toast, he would serve.

And Christmas ham curry, which sounds a bit odd, but most dinners consisted of potatoes, rice, and pasta with nothing else.

And he would send them into school with sandwiches made of leftovers.

So some favorites were sliced sausage with tomato sauce and too much butter.

That sounds amazing.

Yeah, that

people sub.

That sounds fine, right?

Bolognese and curry sandwiches, which is a bit odd.

Sometimes it would literally be a salad sandwich.

so just a sandwich with leaves in.

Yeah, or uh, potatoes, just potatoes or plain bread.

Listen, this

man sounds like a genius, an unsung, he sounds like a hestam, like experimental chef.

You know, he's just trying to make his own

experiment.

I do know what I watched, I remember watching like um a video from Ashens where he bought this toasty maker, this is fucking years ago, and he would try and make basically sandwiches out of anything in it.

And I remember he was making like he won he made a Tesco he made he got like a pre-made sandwich and made put that in a sandwich do you know what I mean like he made in the toasty maker so it was a chicken sandwich toasted sandwich

and he made one with like ice cream he made one with all sorts of nonsense things and

most of them were good I feel like a lot you can put a lot of shit between two slices of bread and warm it up and it turns out fine.

Do you know one thing I absolutely hate is when you buy one of those pre-made sandwiches, they always come in that little triangular cardboardy with the window.

And if you look in the corner of the window, sometimes some moisture builds up there.

And then more so, sometimes it'll like make the bread soggy, like the crust of the bread and stuff.

And it's just like, it triggers me so much.

Like it's, if you've ever had a hamburger on Wonder Bread as a kid, before and you'll know that the juicy burger just like makes the what the wonder bread was not made for for burgers, you know, like it's it just goes instantly pink and soggy.

It's disgusting.

Yeah, it's got no structural integrity.

I mean, it didn't happen often, but there was a, there's, there's, there's definitely on occasion some wonder bread was used for burgers when I was a kid.

And man, it just triggers me off the planet.

Like, I'm just, I'm in, I'm in outer space.

I fucking hate soggy bread.

Like, it's so disgusting.

It's bad.

This is why I don't like

eating bread out of the freezer.

But you got a toast part.

That's the point.

My partner is all about getting bread out of the freezer.

Yeah, yeah.

We don't freeze.

We don't have room, actually.

We don't have a big enough freezer.

We used to in Canada, we had a big chess freezer.

We used to freeze

the same boat.

We've got a small freezer, but if we get a nice loaf of sourdough and we're not going to get through it, we'll put it in the freezer and then you can just toast it straight out.

Because I don't have sourdough untoasted.

I think it's so much better toasted.

Oh, yeah.

You take it out, you defrost it essentially and toast it at the same time and it retains its freshness.

I think it is

straight-sensible and probably is fine.

But I've never been able to do it.

I think it's because my nan used to just eat a piece of frozen bread when she wanted to snack,

just like it was a lollipop.

Oh my god, man.

And she

liked it to me and tried to convince me when I was a boy.

She must have lived through at least World War II, but maybe World War I as well.

She's quite old, wasn't she?

No, she was, I think she was a

long time ago.

I think the older, the like the older generations have some excuse for having weird eating habits or whatever, especially if you grew up post-World War II with, or even you survived through World War II with rationing and stuff.

I think there's more of an excuse.

I think nowadays,

there's far less of an excuse.

Do you know what I think it is?

If you've grown up in the era when refrigeration became widely available, this is like a fascinating thing.

Yeah, yeah.

It's frozen bread.

Give your what a a treat.

So it's just like

this guy's, this guy's Daniel.

He eats packing peanuts.

So there's stuff that things come packed in.

Actual plastic.

No, they're made out of cornstarch, apparently.

And you just pop them in your mouth for about 10 seconds and then they just dissolve.

He eats packing peanuts.

That's disgusting.

They've definitely been treated with some kind of chemical.

You should not be doing this.

You remember candy soap when you were a kid?

They tasted like...

They were actual sweets, but they just tasted like soap.

Yes, I know the ones tasted.

Fucking shit.

This is the problem.

I think they shouldn't have been called peanuts, right?

You're right.

Very confusing.

Because that's made stupid people like your friend think that they're educating.

It's not my friend.

I mean, this is why I've got a problem with eating nuts and bolts.

I've been eating nuts and bolts for years.

Well, nut's just a nut, innit?

Yeah.

You said, oh, well, it's just metal nuts.

No, it's a nut.

Fuck it, it's delicious.

Oh, that's

all in your mouth.

Takes you about a million years.

That's a good point.

All right,

this is Joel.

I'm bushing through these.

I'm driving straight over here.

Joel and his sister would make plowed field on their dinner plates.

So you get mashed potatoes and baked beans.

You put the mash into a square.

You gently drag the top of the square to make it look like a plowed field.

And then you put beans in to look like seeds

that is insane stolen how long are you sitting at the damn dinner table to do this wow so you've eaten everything on your plate well better make plowed field then at least it's something to do my cousins uh yeah i had my my cousins i never i i met them i think once in my life but uh their their parents were were very very religious i don't know if this is related but they if they didn't finish their dinner that was their breakfast the next day so like no matter what it was if they left food on their plate that's what they had to eat for breakfast the next day.

I always thought that that was mad.

I hate that.

It's disgusting.

I thought that was insane.

Kids' appetites are weird.

You're enforcing

appetites on a kid when you're like, you're going to eat everything on that plate.

First of all, it makes them hate food.

And second of all, a lot of kids will be starving hungry some days and they won't want to eat anything the next day.

No kid's going to let themselves go hungry.

That's all I'm saying.

I mentioned that they're very religious, not because I think that every very religious person does that.

I think more I'm thinking it sounds like there's a level of discipline that was that is just beyond anything I've ever known.

So I figure it has to have something to do with maybe

the religious side of it as well, like the regiment of being

in Luke 17, chapter, Luke 17, 43.

Thou shalt

not finish all thine dinner.

Thy crusts are holy to the Lord and shall be consumed.

Thou shalt not leave thy vegetables till till last.

I mean, I guess it's a good way to reduce food waste, but

give your kids less food.

So you wake up and you just think, oh man, I could really go from some cereal, but nope, it's meatloaf for breakfast.

Like, what?

Fucking awful.

Yeah, and like half of one as well.

Like,

yuck.

Yeah.

Shall we do one final episode?

One final one to end on.

Yeah.

And then we'll call it a day.

Yes.

Make it a good one.

He's digging deep.

So here we go.

This is Auntie Susan.

This is a weird diet.

She described herself as an hourvore.

So we had an orological diet, which was hour-based.

So she ate specific things at certain times of the day that matched the hour on the clock.

All right.

So for example, at 1 p.m., she'll only eat thin single stick foods, a carrot stick, a breadstick, or a single chip.

At 3 p.m., she'll only eat three-piece foods, for example, a BLT.

So three exact stacked layers.

At 7 p.m., she must shape her food into a seven before eating it.

So rice or cereal poured into a seven shape or a banana, banana which she claims looks like a seven and at 12 she would blend 12 ingredients into a smoothie and chug it silently while staring at the clock because she only gave herself one minute to eat her food she claims it's wow she claims it kept her in sync with the universe's digestive rhythm right okay

that is um that is i love it and i love the grind yeah and it's like you're playing a little mini game every day with your food however you need to seek professional yes auntie susan gets some help she also got nicked drink driving five years later so fair enough Let's get you.

On that bombshell.

Auntie Susan, we're going to get you some help.

We're going to get you the help you need.

Don't worry.

It'll be at four o'clock or whatever time you need it to be.

Sometime when you're not eating.

Team, thank you so much.

That was a fun episode.

So that was great.

That was really good.

Do not keep them.

No, do not keep them coming.

Do not, Edwards.

Do not ever again.

That is the end of weird eating.

We will find something else, stop them.

We don't want them.

I'm going to ignore them henceforth.

No more weird eating.

It's going to go straight in the bin.

Thank you you so much.

Thank you so much.

If you didn't make the cut, I apologize.

Just imagine that we ate around you.

Nice.

The next one should be fun things to do on a long flight.

Hey, let's not just throw something out there because I'm going to get 50 emails about that.

We've got to take some time to really think this out.

All right.

No, you haven't.

You just tossed it out there.

Willy-nilly.

Not things to do on a long flight.

Not things to do on a long flight.

Please do not say we're females on that.

Don't toss your willy out there.

Oh, I picked all my toenails with my teeth.

Yes,

exactly.

Disgusting.

We'll come up with something.

Don't guess what it's going to be.

We'll work on it.

Don't guess.

All right.

See you next time.

Don't guess.

All right.

Don't guess.

Bye.

Bye.