#3058 Wife Swap The Real Housewives Edition S1E2: Midnight Train to Gorga

Speaker 1 This time of year, it's sensory overload everywhere, but one feeling we're still chasing cozy. And Bombas has the socks, slippers, tees, and basically everything to get you there.

Speaker 2 They're really stepping up their footwear too. New colors, new styles, fluffy things, suede things.
If you've got feet, they've got something for them. And I love putting on a fresh new sock.

Speaker 2 That's one of my favorite things when you get brand new socks and you put them on and you're just like walking on clouds. I love it.
And Bombas really delivers on that front.

Speaker 1 Head over to bombas.com slash crappins and use code crap ins for 20% off your first purchase. That's bombbas.com slash crap ins code crap ins to checkout.

Speaker 2 Ronnie, the holidays are around the corner and you got that nice house of yours that you've been decorating. I think it's time that you add some holiday cheer to it with Wayfair.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, it's the only person I'm going to use. Wayfair is the place to shop for all things home.

Speaker 1 Everything from sofas to spatulas, you name it, they have it, and you can get it up to 70% off during Wayfair's Black Friday sale.

Speaker 2 I love my Wayfair finds. All the stuff in my office, I've got stuff on my patio, I've got stuff all over the place.
And you know, holiday stuff is going to be coming up next.

Speaker 2 It really is the go-to destination for everything home, no matter your style or budget.

Speaker 1 I have a beautiful leather couch, and it's a pullout that people sleep on. It's the most comfortable pullout I've ever had.
No one complains about a pullout. And do you know how rare that is?

Speaker 1 I got that from Wayfair.

Speaker 2 Everything you need for your living room, outdoor areas, bedroom, bedroom, and more. Wayfair makes it easy with fast and free shipping, even on the big stuff.

Speaker 1 Don't miss out on early Black Friday deals. Head to Wayfair.com now to shop Wayfair's Black Friday deals up to 70% off.

Speaker 2 That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Sale ends December 7th.

Speaker 1 You already know we love Virgin Voyages. This cruise line is more iconic than Ramona Singer's Runway Walk.

Speaker 2 We're talking all-inclusive everything. Wi-Fi, dining, entertainment, group fitness classes, everything is included.
No hidden fees, no surprise charges.

Speaker 1 And unlike most of the Cast of the Valley, all Virgin Voyages trips are 100% kid-free. No room for loud toys and crying kids to drown out the sounds of the ocean.

Speaker 2 The destinations are amazing, too. Some highlights Aruba, St.
Lucia, New York, Miami, Iceland, and a below-deck favorite, The Med.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, the boats are beautiful. They're so modern.
The rooms are just so luxurious. I love all the colored lighting in there and the balconies.

Speaker 2 And I also just love that they are tailored for adult experiences. That makes me so happy.

Speaker 1 Make your next vacation a fabulous one with Virgin Voyages.

Speaker 2 Learn more at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor.

Speaker 2 Watch what craft is.

Speaker 2 Watch what craft is. Who cares what happens? But there's so much good rapids.

Speaker 2 Hello and welcome to Wash for Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me here is my wife that maybe one day we'll swap.

Speaker 2 It's Ronnie Karim. How's it going?

Speaker 1 How dare you? Hello.

Speaker 2 That would be a funny wife swap because then I would be like taking care of Bueller and then you would be like with Dom. And that would be like a very funny like compare and contrast.

Speaker 2 That's a pretty actually, pretty easy swap, I would actually say.

Speaker 2 Welcome, everyone. We're talking wife swap.
It's the Melissa Gorga wife swap episode. Just a reminder, we have a wonderful and active Patreon, patreon.com slash watch for crap-ins.

Speaker 2 We have weekly bonus episodes. We also have crap-ins on demand, where you get to watch the video component of our podcast.
We have a Discord community. Everything is wonderful out there.

Speaker 2 So come join us on Patreon. Also on Mondays, we do some sort of live thing.

Speaker 2 This coming Monday, we have Crappy Hour, which is going to be where we talk about Bravo headlines and talk to you all and sort of, you know, shoot the shit.

Speaker 2 That's on YouTube and at Simulcast on Patreon and Instagram. So come join us for that.
That'll be at 5.30 on the West Coast and 8.30 on the East Coast.

Speaker 1 And don't forget, we have daylight savings time.

Speaker 2 Daylight savings time is ending this weekend.

Speaker 1 So don't miss crap the hour by that one hour. Yeah.
Oh, I hate when that happens. I can't get used to the dark.

Speaker 2 Well, talk about hour swap. So much per wife swap.
So anyway, what's that?

Speaker 1 Wait, what does that mean? Wait, fall forward, spring back. Oh, so we gain an hour.
You fall back. We gain an hour.
You gain an hour. You gain an hour.

Speaker 1 Fall back, spring forward, fall back. Yeah.
So we lose an hour. You lose an hour.

Speaker 2 You gain an hour because it's like

Speaker 2 you went through 9 a.m. And guess what? You fall back.
So you'd be going through 9 a.m. a second time.
You gain an hour.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well,

Speaker 1 I'll never get it. But thank God the phones do it for you now.
So you don't really have to do anything.

Speaker 2 Hey, everybody.

Speaker 2 Isn't that less? Yeah. God, isn't that great? So that's the excitement of this weekend.
Today we are talking about wife swap. It's our second episode.
I loved last week's episode with Angie Kaye.

Speaker 2 I thought it was so fun. It was so sweet.
I also enjoyed this one quite a bit, but I feel like I can see some of the cracks on the wife swap experience.

Speaker 2 I'm like, okay, I'm glad this can be a short, like

Speaker 2 four episode excursion.

Speaker 1 What were your cracks?

Speaker 2 I felt like I saw more of the staging this episode. I felt like I could see, like, the kids were not as good actors as the Idaho kids.
I'm not going to lie. The kids were like, I am so happy to clean.

Speaker 1 I was like, okay.

Speaker 2 I mean, to be fair, it may have just been that they just had the, needed to have the kids to say the line again. It may not have been scripted like that.

Speaker 2 But I did think it was still, it was better than I thought. I thought, okay, Angie was such a good episode.
I was like, oh, God, Melissa Gorga. Will this be a good episode?

Speaker 2 Well, Melissa, Melissa seems like she's going to be Brattier.

Speaker 1 But Melissa was actually pretty good.

Speaker 2 I actually enjoyed Melissa.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 even though we know that she did not spend a night in that house, because

Speaker 2 she said as much, I think, what on Jeff's show? But

Speaker 2 Melissa.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she's like, she said she begged the producers not to have to stay there there and insisted on staying in a hotel, which

Speaker 1 is weird. I mean, it's two days, you know? Jesus Christ, they're giving you a pile of money.
You can sleep in a fucking bed for two for two nights or one night, whatever it is.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I guess I'm wondering, is every episode just going to be like,

Speaker 2 we're going from a clean house to a dirty house? Is that just what it's going to be? I felt like some of the lessons were like not as strong in this one.

Speaker 1 But they're definitely. Well, yeah, we're going from a clean house to a dirty house.
Like one house is gross. One house is really clean.

Speaker 1 And then you have to eat different things at the different houses. That's also a big thing.

Speaker 1 But they're like, oh, my God, people eating differently. This is going to be crazy.

Speaker 1 I did really like this one. I was impressed with Melissa, but I mean, you know, that she didn't bug me as much as she normally does.

Speaker 1 I thought she'd be a lot snottier, especially after hearing some of those Jeff Lewis clips because she really came off like an asshole on that. So I thought, oh, this is going to be really cringy.

Speaker 1 But she wasn't bad.

Speaker 1 But still, as usual, the stars were were joe and the kids and actually it made me think wow i actually want to see more of her kids because those oafs i mean those are two idiots those two idiots i mean wow what blocks of cheese what meatballs those guys are for sure so i want to see more of them because i was cracking up at how stupid they were and just how thick i mean they're just they're made at they're just pure beef you know and i was cracking up the whole time and the daughter i think has grown up to be really cute and gorgeous.

Speaker 1 Like, I like her personality a lot. And

Speaker 1 the other family was great. I loved all of the other families.
That mom is fucking hilarious. So I really liked it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 2 I think the show still has a lot of sweetness. You know, another crack I saw was when they all went to the construction site together.

Speaker 1 I was like, this is like...

Speaker 2 This doesn't make sense. It does not make sense.
The whole family is going to go to a construction site together. So I thought like it was something like that that just didn't feel,

Speaker 2 it felt like it like was a little jump the sharky, which is, I know, crazy. The whole show doesn't make sense.
The whole show is ridiculous.

Speaker 2 But, you know, in the we're going to step into another world, like, I don't know. I thought, I was like, I'm just not buying this part of it.

Speaker 2 So I just wasn't as completely sold on the show on this episode as much as the last. I just didn't feel like as tight of a of a of a show.
But let's, whatever. Who cares?

Speaker 1 I do think they need to spend more time. I think that spending one, basically one full day together is what it looks like, maybe two, is just not enough time.

Speaker 1 You know, it's like, wow, you see that somebody doesn't do their dishes and you get to judge it.

Speaker 1 And also, I don't believe that because I've literally never met a mother who is going to just leave or a father who's going to just leave dirty dishes of a family of five piled in a sink all night long.

Speaker 1 That's just disgusting. I mean, it's flies.
There are flies. We've all had

Speaker 1 pests. There are pests.

Speaker 1 I just don't believe that.

Speaker 2 When Melissa said she didn't want to spend the night there, I was like, oh my God, what a snobby bitch. But then when we saw the place, I was like,

Speaker 2 I can kind of understand.

Speaker 2 If you're like a neat freak and then you come in and you see like that nasty ass blender and everything else just sitting out there and you think of like the fats and the flies, you're like, yeah, you can leave a fruit blender out all day and it's not covered in flies.

Speaker 1 I just, yeah, there's something weird about that. But you have to suspend the disbelief because

Speaker 1 it's so silly. You know, it's two days.
What are they going to do?

Speaker 2 What are they going to do? What are they going to do? But I just felt like it could have just been a tighter episode in terms of like the compare and contrast.

Speaker 2 Like we used to do this before and now we do this now and now we're going to learn from it i was like really but bringing antonia to a construction site that doesn't make any sense if it was like okay instead of going to work joe you're going to we're all going to go to the movies together you're going to spend more time with your family that makes sense to me but like not we're all just going to go standing around in the dirt but i think i'm probably being too critical about a very stupid show that

Speaker 1 yeah i think it's just a dumb show yeah it's just a dumb show

Speaker 1 just a dumb show ben yeah so um basically we meet Melissa and Joe, who we already know. Melissa is like a CEO, Both Spets, you guys.
She has a boutique and a sprinkle cookie company. So

Speaker 1 she's also got a dog that wears a diaper. So that's, you know, her thing.
Antonia's off to college, but she's going to come shoot. Okay.
So she'll be here. And then there's Gino and Joey.

Speaker 1 And we see a typical day of Melissa's. Joe's out at 6.30.
Doesn't come home till dinner time, probably cheating most days or at strip clubs.

Speaker 1 And she has coffee, she works out, she does glam, and then she goes to work. I think it's funny that the housewives actually do glam every day.
That was crazy. She's like, I'm doing something.

Speaker 1 Something that rich people really do?

Speaker 2 No, this is a very lonely person. That's what this is.

Speaker 1 This is a

Speaker 1 glam to go to the mall kiosk that you rent. I mean, come on.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 If you're putting on glam just to show up at Envy,

Speaker 2 then you're doing too much. I guess her justification is that she goes to Envy and then she puts on clothing and then she puts that on social media to advertise Envy.

Speaker 2 And then she can write off the glam and she can write off Envy.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 2 it seems like a sad existence.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it does. And that's maybe that's why I kind of felt for Melissa.
And the other wife picks up on it right away where she's like, oh my God, this is, this is one sad person, you know? And I agree.

Speaker 1 And I think that that was kind of what the other wife got when she went into Angie's life. She was like, wow, this is a sad woman.

Speaker 1 Like all she does is spend time cleaning her sunglasses and spending time with her kids. So I think that's interesting.

Speaker 1 It's an interesting parallel that it's like, wow, look at all this money and you're still very lonely. And all you want to do is clean.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it sort of didn't make sense to have these episodes back to back because they were so similar in terms of like what they do.

Speaker 2 But I feel like Bravo was like, we just cannot have Emily Simpson be our second episode. We have to bury her in the middle of this four episode season.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So the falloff will be drastic.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So then the producers are asking Gino, who cleans up the clothes.
Like, mom does. Like, who makes the food? Mom.

Speaker 2 Who finishes your sentences because you can't access all your words?

Speaker 1 Mom does. She does.

Speaker 1 She does.

Speaker 2 She does.

Speaker 1 And just their dead eyes.

Speaker 1 Both the boys are like, duh.

Speaker 2 Like two oxes after they've eaten.

Speaker 1 Joe's like, my wife, she's just so so OCD. You know what I'm saying? Like I can't with her.
Like she's like, she's, she gotta have everything clean. Like, what the hell? It's crazy.
Am I right?

Speaker 1 I'm a man. She's a woman.
A man was born with a dick. A woman was born with a mop in her hand.
Am I right? You can catch that at Gino's Comedy Club coming up soon. All right.

Speaker 2 A lot of my anilness comes from my childhood. I didn't grow up in a house where everything was run as tight.
And I lost my dad at a very young age. And I always said, not in my house.

Speaker 1 My house we're not using my dad at a young age in this house

Speaker 1 like wait what did the dad do with it

Speaker 2 my house is a piece of shit and my dad died too but i said not in my house not in my house there he is nuh not in my house we're gonna see we're gonna go see mommy and daddy home together every night and i'm keeping it neat and i keep it clean

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're so OCD with everything. Am I right? Yeah, that's the word.
OCD. She's like,

Speaker 1 it's like too much, right? Like, what is it? The boobs to make her like that? Am I right? Like, this is why we can't vote.

Speaker 1 You know, you can't get women in there to vote because all they do, they spend an hour and they're cleaning out the voting booth. Then no one gets in there.
You know what I'm saying? Women.

Speaker 2 Well, what I hope to get from this swap is just to like let some things go, you know? Like,

Speaker 2 I don't know. I don't know what I really want to let go of right now.
I'm actually really just trying to hold on to everything. My kids, Joe.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't.

Speaker 2 I've got a sad life.

Speaker 1 So now we go to Georgia. Why do we we have to believe? Why are we supposed to believe that none of the real housewives have maids? Mike, are you fucking kidding me?

Speaker 1 You're, you're telling me that none of you have maids. I don't believe it.
You've all got like the secret little room behind the laundry room called the maids room. We all know it.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So then we go over to Georgia and we meet Michelle. And she's saying, like, I don't think I can handle, you know, the 1950s, 1960s.
Man comes home, woman does the cooking kind of thing.

Speaker 2 Woman does, I mean, woman does the cooking, man goes to work. She's like, no.
So we meet Michelle and sean

Speaker 2 and um they love being together all the time they have three kids sean jr phoenix and maverick

Speaker 2 and um they have a vegan household for for health and they have uh they're really obsessed with double dutch and as soon as they started talking about double dutch i was like oh i've seen these people before how have i seen these people before and it was i did some research it was they were on the amazing race and i was like oh that's right these people with the double dutch business they were always talking about it's like everything is about double Dutch.

Speaker 2 And I really love these people, but they really like the double, it's too much. Too much of the double Dutch.
Like, it's too much.

Speaker 2 And also, like, how are you running like some sort of like athletic company, but you are not disciplined at all with your cleaning? I don't understand that.

Speaker 2 Normally, people who are like trainers or athletes are super, super disciplined about everything in their life, especially their personal space.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? I don't know. I don't know.
Make me not want to trust them.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Yeah.
Well, I don't think double-dutching is really like a discipline. I mean, I guess it's a skill that you learn, but it's not like a...

Speaker 1 Well, I guess it is because it's like an Olympic sport, right? Wasn't she saying this? I think I was surprised because I was like, wow, that's a sport. I had no idea.

Speaker 1 I've seen it a lot on TikToks and stuff. I've always wanted to know how to do that, but girl, I can barely get out of bed.
I'm not going to double-dutch.

Speaker 2 I don't know if it's not an Olympic sport, but there is some sort of like world championship that she is the world champion of. And they've been on like a million talk shows.

Speaker 2 I at first thought I'd seen them on a house hunters, but it was an amazing race. But, but then doing the research, they've been on all the morning shows and they do the double Dutch thing.

Speaker 2 It's all about double Dutch.

Speaker 1 And so don't put house hunters past them. I can see them on house hunters being like, we need a room to jump rope in.

Speaker 2 100%.

Speaker 2 They are 100% going to be on house hunters if they haven't been already.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then every house they go see, they're going to be like, well, this is nice for the office, but can we jump rope in here? I don't think so, Mindy. You better get back to the books.

Speaker 2 It's Mindy Kaling as of their realtor. She's like, thanks.

Speaker 2 She's like smiling at her own jokes.

Speaker 2 So Sean is saying.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, I'm sorry. I thought you were saying, Mindy, what's her face from Facts of Life? Mindy Kohn.
Mindy Kaling. Sorry.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Mindy Kalin.

Speaker 2 It's the real estate firm of Mindy and Mindy.

Speaker 1 So Michelle wants to spend time with her family, even if that means not doing her dishes. And she's like, if we're all miserable, but the house is clean, what kind of life is that a dirty life i mean

Speaker 2 i don't know i i feel like i'd be i'd rather be miserable in a clean house than happy in a dirty one if that makes any sense i think i would rather be happy in a largely tidy house because i'm not going to act like look i'm not i'm not analy retentive uh i keep things largely clean but like sometimes i have dinner and i'm like i'm too tired to do the dishes and i i'll i'll clean my dishes in the morning and like I will do that.

Speaker 2 But what I try not to do and what I generally don't do is like things don't pile up. And like it's not, it does not look the way it did in this place.

Speaker 2 But like, I don't always clean my dishes the same night. I will do them in the morning sometimes.

Speaker 1 I don't always either, but I'll at least like put them in the sink. Like I'll take the food off of them, put them in the sink and then soak them.

Speaker 1 You know, like I'll put water on them so I'm not waking up to crusty shit.

Speaker 1 And I think that a lot of it was my problem with it was they were just like leaving all their food and piling it up with all the food out. And

Speaker 1 just and then you wake up and you can't do the dishes because everything is caked on there. And then it's like it just makes it so much harder.

Speaker 1 And like, you know what, when I

Speaker 2 my my my kitchen definitely gets messy when I'm here alone. Like if Dom is like out in New York working on something, for sure I'm like even more lenient because I know it's just me.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, if I make a mess, it's my own mess. It's not about, it's my own fault.
It's like, you know what? I did this to myself.

Speaker 2 And I kind of feel like, but like, like, but if Domin's here or if someone's here, if someone were staying with me, I'm like much more attentive to it because like you're sharing the space with people.

Speaker 2 So it's shocking to me to have like a whole family, a whole like a group of people under one household. And it's just like, oh, let's just let it just stack up with food on it.

Speaker 2 Cause like other people need to use the kitchen. Other people need to do things in there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. There's one thing about like you can be sloppy, but this is sloppy, sloppy.
Like, sloppy is like leaving your dishes soaking. Sloppy, sloppy is is caked up food on your dishes.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like there's just, there's a difference because you just, it just makes it harder.

Speaker 1 So then Michelle's like, well, you know, we're happy being, you know, not cleaning because we spend time together. But eventually someone has to clean that stuff.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I'm so hung up on the clean house. It's not even the clean house because the rest of the house didn't bother me.
It was the kitchen. That bugged me.
I was like, this is unsanitary.

Speaker 1 This is like the, this is, this is like cholera waiting to happen. Okay.
So then Michelle's like, well, cleaning with kids is like cleaning in quicksand. Living with kids is like living in quicksand.

Speaker 1 What are you going to do? Just not have them?

Speaker 2 You know what they call kids? Quicksand. Goodbye, money.
Goodbye, brunch. You have kids now.

Speaker 1 They are quicksand. It's like your soul.
Your entire soul is in quicksand, okay?

Speaker 1 Hey, you want to do something fun?

Speaker 2 Sorry. You got to go to a soccer game to watch a bunch of kids chasing a ball, and then you got to hand out orange drink.
Enjoy the quicksand.

Speaker 1 It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin' commercial.

Speaker 1 You know that feeling when you come home late from work and those puppy dog eyes just pierce right through your soul? Or when you're packing for a trip and your cat refuses to leave your suitcase?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we've all been there. Pet parent guilt is real.
And you know what? It's completely normal.

Speaker 2 That's exactly why Hill's pet nutrition exists. They understand that being a pet parent means being human with all our imperfections and daily juggling acts.

Speaker 1 Hill's science-led nutrition helps you give more love than humanly possible.

Speaker 2 Whether it's those long work days or trying to balance attention between multiple pets, Hill's Pet Nutrition gets it.

Speaker 2 They've created science-based nutrition that supports your pet's lifelong health so you can feel confident even when life gets hectic.

Speaker 1 Because you're only human, there's Hills. Science does more.

Speaker 2 Ready to let go of the guilt? Find the right food at hillspet.com slash crappins. That's hillspet.com slash crappins.

Speaker 1 Audible's romance collection has something to satisfy every side of you.

Speaker 2 When it comes to what romance you're into, you can't be pinned down unless you want to be. Here's your invitation to have it all.

Speaker 1 Fancy a dalliance with a duke or perhaps a sexy billionaire. Find a book boyfriend in the city and another on the hockey field.

Speaker 1 Or if nothing on this earth satisfies, you can always find love in another realm.

Speaker 2 Hear modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Allie Hazelwood, the latest romanticy series from Sarah J.

Speaker 2 Moss and Rebecca Yarrows, Yarrows, and Regency favorites like Bridgerton and Outlander, plus all the really steamy stuff.

Speaker 1 Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com slash crap ins that's audible.com slash crappins.

Speaker 1 So then Melissa is finding out that she's going to Georgia and they're like, ooh. And she's like, yeah, Georgia.

Speaker 1 And they're like, what at? What at?

Speaker 1 Her kids are like, what's that?

Speaker 2 A 10 minute scene while the kids try to figure out where Georgia is.

Speaker 1 You know, they're like, what is that? What's a Georgia? And then at the other family, she's like, I'm going to New Jersey. And the kids are like, oh, my God.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. Like she won something.

Speaker 2 Really excited.

Speaker 1 I've never seen anybody so excited to go to New Jersey. You're going to New Jersey.
Yes, Queen.

Speaker 2 So Michelle says, the only thing I know of housewives is they live

Speaker 2 a very wealthy life. And you got to throw a glass here there.
and the house must be flawless so Melissa is saying to Joe like well I don't like leaving you he's like yeah you hate sleeping without me

Speaker 2 you ain't when they don't get what when I when I release the poison it's not the same when you're not there huh huh huh

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's like,

Speaker 1 I made you a present, all right? And he's made a pillow with his picture on it. And she's like, oh my God, you put yourself on a pillow, Joe.
Oh, my God. I got to take this pillow.

Speaker 1 So now we go to the women walking through each other's homes. And Melissa's like, okay, interesting paint choices.
Because every room is a really, really bright primary color.

Speaker 1 It's like one room's bright orange and then another room is like bright royal blue.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And it's like that, like it feels like the wall was painted with like.

Speaker 2 like paint that you make like make a painting with not like with wall paint so it sort of has that kind of like you can sort of sort of see the layers through it and Melissa's like okay

Speaker 2 And so she's like, okay, interesting. It's like, well, I brought, I brought sprinkle cookies.
So I'll just put these right here. And okay, let me see what they eat.
Oh my God.

Speaker 2 Do they own a fruit farm? Because she just sees nothing but fruit in their refrigerator.

Speaker 1 Yeah. She's, and then Michelle goes into her house and her house looks great.

Speaker 1 And I have to, you know, hand it to Melissa because that house was universally mocked when it was first revealed by us for I think half an hour, like a full half hour segment on crappy hour because Joe Joe just did a terrible job on the first round of that house.

Speaker 1 Like the windows were all the wrong size and the roofs were all, there were like multiple roofs with different sizes that didn't match. I mean, it just looked crazy.

Speaker 1 And they did a good job on the re-remodel of this house. Yeah.
It looks great now.

Speaker 2 And so Michelle's like, oh my God, this is amazing. This is huge.
And then she goes into the kitchen, which has like, it feels like the kitchen has like four kitchen islands in it.

Speaker 2 It's just like a football field of kitchen islands. And she starts running around.
She goes, oh, my God, all the juicing I could do in here.

Speaker 2 oh my god whoa oh my god but then she sees melissa's olive oil melissa has taken an olive oil jug and bedazzled it and she's like okay

Speaker 2 you designed the olive oil okay you do not need to put glitter on olive oil which i agree yeah

Speaker 1 so she goes through the fridge and she goes okay so we're eating baby chickens okay and cheese cheese and cheese you know i'm sorry but No cheese. Cheese is the devil.

Speaker 1 So she loves the house. Melissa is disgusted by her.
She's like, wow. Though she's trying not to be, she's like, they're not neat freaks.
And wow, that's so refreshing.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's definitely little kids here, boys, because I see balls, basketballs. Only boys like playing with balls.
So we all know that.

Speaker 2 She's like, you know, my house is like monochromatic and like clean lines and extremely organized and extremely neat. And like, you can tell that like, you know, that they live here.

Speaker 2 You can really see. It's like cut to the blender with some sort of like gray, purple, smoothie residue on it.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 crusty blueberry all over the thing. And then she's like, yeah, you know,

Speaker 1 you can tell that they live here. It's amazing to see like what homeless people look like.
They would live inside of a house. This is crazy.

Speaker 1 So then Michelle is like, well, okay, they have a clean house. And I like a clean house, but I also like a lived-in house.
And this house is very white and nobody lives

Speaker 1 So house rules.

Speaker 1 Melissa says, dear Miss Temporary Wife,

Speaker 1 we are vegan. No meat, no dairy.
And Melissa's like, but I'm anemic.

Speaker 2 So she continues reading. We are just finishing

Speaker 2 our group juice cleanse now, which means we have not eaten food in 10 days. Just juice.
Impossible. In our household, we don't follow traditional rules.

Speaker 2 We have dinner on the sofa and we'd rather stay up late playing over, making it to bed on time.

Speaker 1 She's like, wow.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 So then Michelle reads her rules. Joe gets home at 6.30 for dinner and she's like, he's gone from 6.30 to 6.30.
When do you guys hang out?

Speaker 1 And then she reads that she has to do all the chores and tidy up the house. And she's like, ah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't know about this.
So Michelle is supposed to spend, Michelle wants Melissa to spend more time with her family. And Melissa just wants someone to clean her house.

Speaker 1 That's basically all Melissa asked for. She's like, please clean.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So Melissa's like, well, I mean, the overall rules are that, like, there are no rules. I mean, there's a rule that they have to eat vegan, so they can't even eat any of my sprinkles.

Speaker 2 Like, oh, what a shame.

Speaker 2 You know, when they found out

Speaker 2 that Melissa was coming to the house with the sprinkled cookies, they're like, oh, we're vegan. Yeah, we're on a juice cleanse, actually.
So we can't have your cookies. Sorry.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Although it would have been nice to see somebody all these years later just throw the sprinkle cookies in the trash. You know, I would have loved a nice full circle moment.

Speaker 2 Also, what would have been smart would be if Melissa said, well, don't worry, I actually have some vegan sprinkle cookies, America. But instead, it was like, oh, well,

Speaker 1 no cookies.

Speaker 1 Well, she did later. Great marketing opportunity.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 she did later. They didn't look very appetizing, but she got that later.
So now

Speaker 1 I must have missed it.

Speaker 1 The parents meet the kids, and she loves Michelle's kids. They're really cute kids.

Speaker 1 And so they ask the kids what they think of her. And one of the kids is like, she's very nice.
She's beautiful. And the girl's like, nail polish, lip gloss, eyebrows.

Speaker 2 She's very well put together and everything is in place. Very different from like...

Speaker 1 That's the dad. Oh.

Speaker 1 Michelle's married to a toddler.

Speaker 1 He's like, yeah, she's put together very different from us. So the Gorgas come home and the dog has just peed all over the floor.
And Michelle's like, why is that dog peeing? He's got on a diaper.

Speaker 1 Who put the diaper on the dog?

Speaker 1 Michelle's response to everything is so fucking funny. She's like, what the fuck kind of diaper is this?

Speaker 2 Hey, wifey, what's your name? She's like, Michelle, A, well, this is Gino. She's like, like, how do you know? Wait, you're the oldest, right? He's like, I don't know.
And this is Joey.

Speaker 1 Hi, baby.

Speaker 2 Joey's like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Both of you.

Speaker 2 Not a lot of lights going on in these houses, huh?

Speaker 1 So then we see where Melissa is going to sleep. And she's like, oh, beautiful.
Wow. Do you have any matches that I could just light this bed on fire? Because it's disgusting.

Speaker 1 So you have a lot of books. Do you guys read books a lot? And he's like, well, we don't.
He's like, I don't read to them as often as I should, you know, because we get in too too late.

Speaker 1 And yeah, we do everything together. And she's like, so you start your day together.
So you're saying you guys are a teen, basically. Yeah, I've never had a man help with a child in my life.

Speaker 1 He's never changed my child's diaper.

Speaker 1 Which is crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's crazy. That's wild.
And what's crazy is I've heard, I've heard that that's like not uncommon, which

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. The guys have got to help on that front.
I will just say that. If like both of every, everyone has to get the shit on and the pee on their fingers in their face.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 It cannot be just the moms.

Speaker 1 Why would you deal with somebody who refuses to help with the diaper? That's, that's idiotic. Like, I can't believe this.
This is crazy. And to hear that that's commonplace, oh, hell no.
Yeah. No, no.

Speaker 2 So Michelle's asking Joe if he ever cooked. He's like, no.
And she's like, do you. Don't, you don't cook her a nice meal ever.
He's like, hey, I work a lot. Okay.

Speaker 2 I got to go to, you know, the construction site. I got to go to the trip club.

Speaker 2 I got to then go like go hang out with my bros, do play some golf, you know, like touch each other's asses, things like that.

Speaker 2 You know, I don't have time to cook over a nice meal, you know, that's what it is.

Speaker 1 She's like, well, I'm vegan. And he's like, vegan? What's that? She's like, yeah.
But, you know, I am going to follow her rules. So I will make pasta your style.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And he's like, yeah, this house is great. Right.
She's psycho. She's like, she's like OCD.
She's like nuts. She's like fucking crazy, this woman.
All right.

Speaker 2 So then she's like, yeah, well, Melissa's going to trip out of my house. So Melissa's looking at around the kitchen and she has to like cook something vegan.

Speaker 2 And Melissa's like, oh my God, I don't know what to do. Oh, man.
So then they're, she's like trying to figure out all the vegan food. And she's like, this is crazy.

Speaker 1 And but it's french fries, which is hilarious. And she wants to eat the fries, but she can't because she has to juice cleanse for a day.
So she sneaks fries and stuff.

Speaker 1 And then Sean's like, yeah, we're on the last day of the cleanse. So that's what you got to do.
And she's like, but I'm hungry. Oh my God.
I'm so hungry. So then over the other,

Speaker 2 like, are we to believe that Melissa Gorga has never done a juice cleanse? I mean, I think if you're a real housewife, I feel like every real housewife has done a juice cleanse at some point, right?

Speaker 1 Melissa Gorga is no stranger to starvation.

Speaker 1 No housewife is a stranger to starvation.

Speaker 1 I don't think any modern human being is a stranger to starvation. Like, I can't.

Speaker 1 We've all done it at some point. Okay.
Come on now.

Speaker 2 Currently doing it as we speak. So

Speaker 2 Melissa, Michelle, Michelle has to make Sunday sauce. And she's like, she's like, Sunday sauce, is that a thing? Antonia, Antonia is like horrified this entire episode.

Speaker 2 She's the only one who doesn't seem to realize that this is all just some silly, you know, contrived thing for Bravo. She's like in a nightmare.
She's like, she doesn't even know what Sunday sauce is.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 She's like calling up Gia.

Speaker 2 She's like, listen, I know our mom's mom's running beef, but you got to help me out. I'm stuck with the woman who doesn't know about Sunday sauce.
I'm going to be right there.

Speaker 1 Gino's just got spit dripping down his face. He's like, uh,

Speaker 1 so then

Speaker 1 Michelle is saying she hasn't touched animal eggs since the 80s, but she's mixing them in with the beef to make them some Sunday sauce.

Speaker 1 And they eat it, and the boys are like, meh, it's good.

Speaker 1 I'll eat it. I'll eat it.
You'd eat a fucking tire iron.

Speaker 2 I was about to to say, they're like gnawing on a shoebox right now. It's pretty good.
Like, you're not even eating the sauce.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So she passes.

Speaker 1 And then Michelle's like, who's supposed to clean all this up? And they're like, you.

Speaker 1 It's like, I have to clean this up. Like, yeah, you got to do all of it.

Speaker 2 So she's like, okay, so I guess I'll do this. So now

Speaker 2 over at Michelle's house, don't clean up after dinner. And Melissa's like, I'm like in a different world right now.
Like we're just going to like go to bed and leave all that in in the sink right now.

Speaker 2 Like none of that even goes, none of what goes on in this house goes on in my house at all.

Speaker 1 So Michelle's asking why they don't clean together. And Antonia's like, she's just so quick with it.
Like we put our dishes in the sink and she cleans it really quick and then we leave. And that's it.

Speaker 1 And she's like, oh, so you're saying I'm too long. I'm taking too long.
She's like, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, you're taking too long. You're the slowest cleaner I've ever seen.
What kind of woman are you?

Speaker 2 So it's nine o'clock and all of Michelle's kids are bouncing around and having like a fun time in the living room.

Speaker 2 And Melissa's like, so I'm having like so much fun with the little kids right now because like I miss my kids being this age, but like I'm also like, they got to go to bed.

Speaker 2 So that way I can have some time for them to be asleep and me doing nothing.

Speaker 1 Cause that's what I do.

Speaker 1 So then it's four hours until the rules change. So Sean thinks that Melissa is very OCD and he wants to see what fun looks like.
So fun is not doing dishes.

Speaker 1 So now they're going to go do some double Dutch guys because this family double dutches. So they go to the park and they double dutch and she can kind of do it.

Speaker 1 And the kids like, yeah, she did okay, but that was like the easiest thing ever.

Speaker 2 And Melissa's saying, you know, I appreciate what an amazing hands-on dad, you know, Sean is, but like he never gets a break.

Speaker 2 And that's going to change along with the dirty, disgusting dishes in that sink. So Melissa's rule is be the boss.
Michelle goes out to be to Envy and to go

Speaker 2 to try on clothing at the boutique. And then she's going to take pictures for social media.
And she's also going to get like some glam

Speaker 2 on.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So Michelle goes in there and everyone's kissing her ass.
They're like, oh my God. Hey, honey.
Oh, my God. You look fabulous today.
That's amazing.

Speaker 1 So she tries on a lot of clothes, which I have to say

Speaker 1 are very Melissa.

Speaker 1 Very, very Melissa boutique. I don't think anybody's watching this like, wow, what a glamorous life.
I was like, wow, they can do rayon in so many different ways. That is incredible.

Speaker 1 So Michelle's like, yeah, you know, you know, in her life, you get to focus on just yourself. And I guess there's beauty in that, but it's a little lonely.

Speaker 1 I mean, the people who do come in and are nice to you are all on Melissa's payroll.

Speaker 2 It's like, well, that was a read. So then now it's time for the rules change.
So Michelle is first thing she does is wipe off the makeup, which is funny.

Speaker 2 Cause last week, we really went in on that woman for taking it, like putting back her top pony after, like, Sean made her hair nice. She's like, oh, back to me.

Speaker 2 And she put her stupid little, like, her, not pony, her top knot of it back into her hair. I was so mad at her.
But this time, I was like, oh, yeah, take that makeup off.

Speaker 2 I was like totally in support of Michelle taking off the makeup, which I didn't even think the makeup was like that crazy. But I don't know.

Speaker 2 I think there's a difference between having a glam team coming in where like

Speaker 2 the glam team was like, here is a here's a piece of Melissa's loneliness.

Speaker 2 Like, this makeup represents the loneliness of Melissa's existence, where she does nothing in her day except put makeup on, get, get glam done, and then go to the store and take pictures.

Speaker 2 Whereas the other one was like a nice gesture from Sean, the husband.

Speaker 1 So, I think in this case, I was like, okay, with the one other lady, seemed like a judgmental asshole, and this lady doesn't.

Speaker 1 And also, yeah, I think, like you said, Sean made an effort towards that lady to not do her overly Angie-like.

Speaker 1 Like, he did a he made an effort to make her hair, like how she already had her hair, just pretty. Like he just did whatever, you know, he wasn't trying to make her anyone else.

Speaker 1 He was like making her the best of what she's got, which I thought was kind of a sweet gesture.

Speaker 1 Like he could have teased up her hair and made her look crazy, but he made an effort to make her feel comfortable in her own skin.

Speaker 1 Whereas I think this guy was like, okay, I got to do a glam scene and he just shoved a bunch of makeup on her face.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think if like Joe Gorga had done her glam, which was a hilarious concept, then it would have been like, like, oh, that's like a little, that's like a little mean.

Speaker 2 He just did your glam for you. But like, it's just some, just some old queen coming in to do the, do the makeup because he's on the payroll.
I'm like not as fussed about that.

Speaker 1 So now Michelle's rule is nobody is leaving me. Okay.
They're going to be together 24-7.

Speaker 1 And she's like, but what do I got to do? I got a conference call. All right.
Who's going to press go on the Zoom and then go, there he is?

Speaker 2 Who's going to catch me jerking off below the zoom if I'm not on a zoom in the first place, right?

Speaker 1 So she's like, nope, we are making a raw vegan dinner together. Okay.
And you can change your faces because you're going to like it. And she knows like, this is just my face, though.

Speaker 1 I can't change it.

Speaker 2 I think that's just their face. So then Melissa's like, okay, well, guys, I do believe in bedtime.
So we are having bedtime tonight because your mother needs a little help with organization.

Speaker 2 And I just happen to be like the queen of organizing. But in order to do that, I have some very important things that I want to shop for.
So I'm going to take these three little ones shopping today.

Speaker 1 And they're like, oh my God, shopping, yes. So she tells the husband he has to take a nap.
And he's like, oh, okay.

Speaker 1 So her idea is to get them a dining room table. So she called a local friend in the area to help her figure it out.
And her local friend is Phaedra Parks.

Speaker 1 By the way, Phaedra Parks would have been great for this show it should have been phaedra and yeah it should have been phaedra i would have loved to see someone step into phaedra's life and raising those kids and being like wow you have you had an actual rocket ship that goes to space built for your child whose name is mr president okay

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 2 it'll be like welcome to my house in the mornings i like to make breakfast for mr president and for aiden and then around noontime please go to the bank and get out $50,000 of cash and bring it to the courthouse.

Speaker 1 It's like, whoa.

Speaker 1 So she's going to get a dining room table. Okay, so Phaedra's there waiting.
And she's like, I've known Melissa for over a decade. She runs a tight ship.

Speaker 1 And when I thought, when I saw her with three children in tow, ooh, give me a Xanax.

Speaker 2 You're in the dirty South. Please don't say that.
I'm really struggling with the way I am truly in the dirty South right now.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's just an an expression, but I see you're going through something much more difficult. She's like, yeah, well, they're vegan kids.
She goes, oh, Jesus, I can't get enough.

Speaker 1 So Melissa updates her on what's going on at the house. And she's like, he cooks, he cleans, he spends every minute with them.
But he needs a break.

Speaker 1 And so Melissa's, meanwhile, Melissa, yeah, sorry, we're still with Melissa. She's like, yeah, but it's so important to eat dinner together.
That's the only time I see my kids.

Speaker 1 So we're going to have them have family time.

Speaker 2 So then, meanwhile, conversation like around the dinner table at the Gorga household. So, Joey Jr.,

Speaker 2 how was football today? Oh, Lord. Okay, Gino, how about you?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Okay.

Speaker 2 What about you, Joe? How's the construction site? Davies.

Speaker 2 Wow. How am I feeling lonelier than when I was sitting in the makeup chair getting blush put on my face?

Speaker 1 Oh my God. I'm so happy.

Speaker 1 Truly. So then we go back to Michelle and she is making a raw meal for them.
Nutritional yeast is how we make vegan cheese and vegan cheese sauce.

Speaker 1 And Joey's like, I literally thought cheese was vegan.

Speaker 1 She's like, how? Are you serious? And he goes,

Speaker 1 Joe's like, Joey, forget it. Joey, just stop.
Stop it. All right.
All right. And he says, but come on.
What animal, when you cut it open, got cheese in it?

Speaker 2 And then he goes, where do you get your milk from? I'm like, Antonio, let's. You're asking questions I don't know he can really answer right now.

Speaker 1 It's like a cow. Okay, well, I'll just let you figure that one out yourself.
And then he just stares off into space with Jewel coming down his face like, oh.

Speaker 2 He does not really connect the dots there either. He's still like, but like, if I get my milk from a cow, why would there be cheese in the cow too? It's not vegan.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dummy. So Michelle is doing corn coconut milk.
She's doing all this stuff, but it's basically a plate of kale. That's what comes out is a plate of kale.
And

Speaker 1 the kids just look at it like, are you fucking kidding me? General's like, I love my steak. All right.
I love my steak. So back at the other house, Melissa's like, okay, well, I'm ready to eat pasta.

Speaker 1 And the kids are like, I don't like pasta. Okay.
You know what call social service is. Have you ever heard a child say that? Me? Pasta.

Speaker 2 I like pasta when I was a kid.

Speaker 2 I didn't like pasta when I i was a kid but you know like you just sort of make these claims of what you don't like when you're a kid and you just you just lean into it i was for a moment there i was i was scared because i was like is melissa gonna like force non-vegan food on these kids like that seems a bit crazy to be like well i'm in town you're at now you have to eat meat but she in fact did make a vegan meal she made a vegan red sauce for them with pasta and the kids were very happy

Speaker 1 Yeah, so they loved it. So they sit down and they have dinner together and they're like, oh my God, this is amazing.
And all the kids love the food.

Speaker 1 And the little girl's like, huh? Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, you say it.

Speaker 1 No, go ahead.

Speaker 2 She's like, I didn't know onion and garlic made it better.

Speaker 1 I was like, have you not been cooking with onion and garlic all this time? That's vegan. Onion and garlic is vegan.
And so is pasta. I'm so confused.
So then Melissa puts the kids to bed. And

Speaker 1 then we go back to Joe.

Speaker 1 they try their food. And Joe's like, oh, God.
I mean, it's got a kick to it. I mean, it's all right.
But this is my meal. Like, I can't even believe this was prepared by someone with boobs.

Speaker 1 This is how women cook where you come from.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. They're so unhappy with it.
Like, Antonio's like, I just, ugh, this is bad. I feel, oh, I don't, oh, I don't like this at all.
So then

Speaker 2 they're going to like.

Speaker 2 They're just going to, I guess, like not do the dishes tonight. This is going to be their big thing is that don't have to do the dishes.
And they're like, what?

Speaker 2 Antonia doesn't even really know what to do with herself.

Speaker 1 She's like, she's just freaking out. And she's like, look at Antonia.
She can't even move. And Antonia's like, um, I think I have to do this.
I think I have to do this.

Speaker 2 I think I become the mother now. That's what I have to do.
I'm a woman. I have to do dishes.

Speaker 2 She's like, really concerned.

Speaker 1 Programming broken, programming broken. So she misses her mom.
She's like, and I don't want to eat this lady's food anymore. And Gina goes, it's bad.

Speaker 1 Commercials.

Speaker 3 Here comes one right now.

Speaker 2 Cold mornings, holiday plans. This is when I just want my wardrobe to be simple.
Stuff that looks sharp, feels good, and things I'll actually wear. For me, that's quince.

Speaker 2 And the bonus, Quince pieces make great gifts too.

Speaker 1 I got a cashmere hoodie in like an oatmeal color, and it's finally time that I get to wear this thing. I'm wearing it all the time, and I look adorable and dashing.

Speaker 1 I love them for the wardrobe pieces like this, you know, when it's like cold, you get a nice sweater, a nice pair of pants. I mean, Quince is great for that.

Speaker 2 And I got a titanium watch band for my smartwatch that looks very chic. So this season's lineup is simple but smart and easy with Quince.

Speaker 2 $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters that feel like an everyday luxury and wool coats that are equal parts stylish and durable.

Speaker 1 Their denim nails the fit and everyday comfort all at a fraction of what you'd expect to pay.

Speaker 2 Give and get timeless holiday staples that last this season with Quince. Go to quince.com slash crap ins for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
Now available in Canada too.

Speaker 2 That's quince.com slash crap ins free shipping and 365 day returns.

Speaker 1 Quince.com slash crap-ins.

Speaker 4 The WMBA playoffs are in full swing and Tommy Alter's The Young Man in the Three brings you closer to the game.

Speaker 4 Get complete WMBA playoff coverage as Tommy sits down with the game's biggest stars and delivers unmatched analysis. The Young Men in the Three's WMBA playoff coverage is presented by Quest Nutrition.

Speaker 4 From irresistibly crunchy protein chips to rich chocolatey protein bars, these treats make giving in feel so good. Quest, big on protein, low on sugar, huge on flavor.

Speaker 4 Shop Quest on Amazon at amazon.com slash Quest Nutrition. and enjoy all the WMBA action on the Young Men in the Three wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 2 So now they're going to go outside and do double dutch. I'm like really sick of the double dutch already.
So they do it.

Speaker 1 So the other town gets the special gift of Phaedra and we get the special gift of the fucking sisters.

Speaker 1 Hey, do non-smoking. Do non-smoking.
All right.

Speaker 1 What is that kitchen's a mess and damn listen is going to be furious?

Speaker 1 Okay, look, I wore some diamond necklaces to go double dutching. That's what we do in this family.

Speaker 2 Oh my God. All the sisters.
i know that really is a big trade-off michelle definitely got the raw end of that stick yeah

Speaker 1 so um they do some double jumping and then melissa is just loving that little kids need her because she puts the kids to bed and they all need hugs and stuff and she's like i loved when my kids needed me depended on me like i miss that so much your kids do need you can two of them even read

Speaker 2 So I know, honestly.

Speaker 2 So Michelle then is saying how she's just having a blast of family, but she feels the need to clean up because she's like, it's so clean in here that I want to actually keep it clean.

Speaker 2 So she actually goes into the kitchen late at night and cleans.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 everybody's learning, guys.

Speaker 2 But then they have Joe Gorga on like the Blair Witch Cam and he's like, hey, there he is. It's 1 a.m.

Speaker 2 I had vegan food tonight. I think I'm turning gay.

Speaker 1 I don't know what's happening now.

Speaker 1 I just woke up in the middle of the night thinking there was a cock in my ass.

Speaker 1 But it was just, it was just, you know, it was that kale or whatever. It's in my stomach.
It's making the noise. They're playing this noise.
It's like, oh,

Speaker 1 boom, boom, boom.

Speaker 2 He literally is acting like there's an axe murderer downstairs that they just hiding from.

Speaker 1 I got a bigger boo than me.

Speaker 2 I don't know what to do.

Speaker 1 So the next morning, Melissa's like, today's organization day.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 And they're like, oh, God, please no.

Speaker 1 So she's like, okay,

Speaker 1 let's wipe down the table. And they're like, what? Wipe it down.
Let's get crumbs off of it and stuff

Speaker 1 so then in the other family they're making juice which is going to be crazy so they do make some juice and antonia acts like she's never tasted apple juice in her life which is crazy yeah i know right

Speaker 2 and then melissa's like there's more cleaning and sean uh the husband and it's Melissa's home i mean michelle's husband is saying you know melissa showed us how organized we can actually be when michelle walks through the door she's going to love it i know and she's going to want to keep it that way i'm like it's not going to stay that way I'm telling you that right now it will not

Speaker 1 because she puts shoe racks in and then she gets like a book organizer and stuff and she's like okay I'm done here okay so meanwhile Joe has got to go to work so this is the big construction site scene and Michelle's like I'm coming because we do everything together get in the car Antonia

Speaker 2 And she's like, Joe is so old school. You know, men do the work, women do the nails.
You understand? So I'm going to prove to him that that's not how that works. I can lift too.

Speaker 2 So now we're going to go to his job site and he's going to do the work and I'm going to kind of stand around and be kind of funny and then try to get all the construction workers to do double dodge and then they're going to get annoyed and then someone's not going to pay attention and they're going to lose their hand in a, in some sort of saw, but it'll be worth it.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 they drive up. Yeah, they drive up to this, to the site and Joe purposely parks in a giant puddle of water.
And both of them are like, no, hell no, you better move back so we can get out of this car.

Speaker 1 He's like, no, you're supposed to see what it's like at a construction site. Women get covered in mud here.
That's how it goes. And they're like, no, no, sir.

Speaker 1 sir move your car back so he does and then they get out and he's he's trying to find a pipe in the ground so he's like okay you got to dig here until you can find the pipe so she's like give me the shovel so she's doing that and he's like antonio what are you doing and she's like taking selfies in the like that she's like taking selfies in the tractor or whatever yeah it's like but

Speaker 2 I can't find the pipe. I know how to lay pipe.
I can't always find out. I have to figure out how to find the pipe.
Hey, there he is. Catch me on tour with the Dere Is Tour 2025.
Hey.

Speaker 1 Out of these two pipes we're working on today, only one is filled with poison that needs to get out. Am I right? Guess which one?

Speaker 2 Back in Georgia. See, this is a whole thing, and I completely blocked it out of my brain.
Melissa found vegan sprinkle cookies. But here's the thing.
She, oh no, they're making vegan sprinkle cookies.

Speaker 2 She's saying she found vegan sprinkles. They're going to make vegan sprinkle cookies.
I'm just saying she should have a vegan option in her line.

Speaker 2 So she's like, hey guys, did you enjoy hanging out with me this week? They're like, yeah. Did you have fun? Yeah, that was cool that you got us a folding table.
So much fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, you guys are so sweet.
You guys are making me cry. I'm going to cry.

Speaker 2 And then she starts crying in the kitchen.

Speaker 1 I'm a mushroom.

Speaker 1 I'm such a mushroom. I can't believe I'm leaving this family.
I gave them a shoe rack and a table. I'm never going to forget this, kids.

Speaker 1 And then it was really cute, though, because the kids are sobbing. They're like, ah.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 she shows the kids the pillow with Joe's face on it. And the kids hug the pillow.

Speaker 1 It's like, yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay. The kids are quicksand, but they're cute.

Speaker 1 Quicksand.

Speaker 2 Quicksand doesn't come any cuter than these children.

Speaker 1 They are cute. So Sean's like, I learned that I need naps.
So I'm going to start taking naps. So when Michelle comes home, I think I'll be doing more naps.
Thank you, Melissa. Thank you.
Wow.

Speaker 1 What a touching episode.

Speaker 2 Now she has less support to do all the cleaning that she now has to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So then Joe's like, oh my God, I haven't cleaned up. My room's a mess, my bed's a mess.
You know, your mom's gonna be pissed.

Speaker 1 And they really played it up because there's like clothes hanging off the entry table.

Speaker 2 They have like a polo shirt in like the foyer on like the console.

Speaker 2 Like, this is okay, I understand the place is not as clean as normal, but like, there's no reason for a polo shirt just to be like hanging out in the foyer.

Speaker 1 This you all could have took off your clothes by the front door. Come on, there's like a gremlin swinging from a fan.

Speaker 1 So Melissa's like, oh my God, they're clothes everywhere I'm like this does not make any sense so so she comes in and she uh her and Michelle talk and Michelle's like oh well you know this isn't dirty we just lived a little okay and you were in my space and you know what living is like now and she goes oh yes nice to meet you I hope you had a nice day

Speaker 2 So then they have, I actually like their conversation that they have because it felt like it was real and they do kind of like choke up. And I felt like they really were connecting as like moms.

Speaker 2 And don't you love how I'm like giving a constant like update on like, this is the part that I liked and this is the part of how you feel about the show.

Speaker 1 I know, like a constant like

Speaker 2 I'm Pauline Kale, and this is what I think about White Swamp. So Melissa's like,

Speaker 2 she's like, first of all, I'm obsessed with your kids. They're like the most polite children and the sweetest, kindest, all three of them, four, if you want to count your husband.
She goes, thank you.

Speaker 2 Well, we're together a lot. So thank you.
Thank you so much. She's like, yeah, I heard.
But Sean needs like a little bit more time as well.

Speaker 1 You know, like maybe you should have more naps wouldn't you like that that way you have more things on your plate so michelle's like well one thing we do have in common is we do love our husbands i mean your husband does try to get sperm all over me more than my does but still and when everybody laughs you know and joe went to work i just felt so melissa goes alone she goes yeah like it was lonely like that's a lot of hours in the day without your family and she goes yeah we do spend a lot of time apart she goes yeah it's too much and she says Well, I mean, listen, he's got to go to work, you know, like I can't just go sit in an excavator.

Speaker 1 I've got to make sprinkle cookies. Like, how am I going to do that? Like, we need alone time.

Speaker 2 Michelle's like, Okay, I'll let her believe this.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 She's like, Yeah, I mean, I've got, he goes to work. I got to go to work.
I got to put on clothes. I got to put on, I got to do sprinkle cookies.
Michelle's like,

Speaker 2 Okay, yes, your work.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Melissa doesn't make those sprinkle cookies, does she? She doesn't.

Speaker 2 No, but like, you can see Michelle's like, uh-huh, okay. Well, I know you're not really working, but that's okay.
That's okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've been to your pretend jobs, ma'am. Okay.

Speaker 1 And so she's like, yeah, you know, Michelle says, yeah, but I felt lonely and it's too, too much, too much time for me to spend apart.

Speaker 1 And Melissa's like, okay, well, you think we spend too much time apart and you guys spend too much time together. So let's just both take 10% to start.
And Michelle's like, okay, and agreed, agreed.

Speaker 1 Also, your sisters are awful. So I murdered them both.
I hope that's okay. No one should have to live like that.
Oh my God, we figured it out.

Speaker 2 So Michelle is saying, you know, my children are watching me and cleaning up and being tidy and being organized. It's just not for me.
It's setting an example.

Speaker 2 And yes, I'm obsessed with my husband, but he also needs that time for him. And I want to give that to him.
So that's what I'm going to do. And they basically learn lessons from each other.

Speaker 2 And then we see.

Speaker 2 The epilogue is that Michelle and Sean are, they have alone time, but only twice a week. And now they eat eat dinner at a table, which I am actually glad about.

Speaker 2 I am, you know, I hate eating dinner off of a coffee table. So I think Melissa did a good job getting them a nice little table.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Melissa is learning to chill, but her house is still spotless. And she's going to spend more quality time with her kids, but she still refuses to go to a construction site.
So

Speaker 1 she didn't chill.

Speaker 1 She learned nothing. She lost learned nothing.

Speaker 2 Well, the other people also still don't do their dishes, but at least they have a table. So there's something going on there.
And now they know Phaedra.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 yeah. So that was pretty cute.
So that was Wife Swap, everybody.

Speaker 2 Bracing ourselves for the Emily Simpson episode next week. We'll see how that one turns out.
Thanks, everyone.

Speaker 1 They were really smart to give her a pig. I'll tell you that.
Because

Speaker 1 I'm going to watch it because I want to see that pig.

Speaker 1 Well, I thought she'd be it.

Speaker 2 Didn't Emily have stories about like being raised in farm country in Ohio? I felt like that pig would be something she would be happy to see.

Speaker 1 Be like, oh my God, it's my childhood because this pig was more of a mother to me than my own mother.

Speaker 1 Why isn't this pig calling me back?

Speaker 1 This pig is a liar. I'm getting the polygraph.

Speaker 1 All right, everybody. Thanks for joining us.
We will be back tomorrow with a little Real Housewives of Orange County action, shall we? When everything changes, don't dawn dawn.

Speaker 1 The big everything changes episode of Orange County.

Speaker 2 Like Captain Tricoli.

Speaker 1 Everything changes.

Speaker 2 Bye, everyone. See you on the next episode.

Speaker 1 Bye.

Speaker 2 Watch what Crap-ins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.
It's always a party on Allison Block.

Speaker 1 Our way is the Amber Way.

Speaker 2 It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster.
It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

Speaker 1 Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offett. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela.
Itchels. We never miss her call.
It's Diane Call.

Speaker 2 Aaron McNicholas, she don't miss no trickolis.

Speaker 1 Hava Nagila Weber.

Speaker 2 You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, Hugo, we all go for Hugo.
Jamie, she has no less namie.

Speaker 1 She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer.
Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

Speaker 2 She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

Speaker 1 Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey B.
K-Sera, Sarah, whatever will be, will Lauren Sillsby.

Speaker 1 She gets a name from us, it's Lindsay D.

Speaker 1 Let's give a kiss a Reno to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry.
We love her on the rocks. It's Melissa Cox.
Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the burg.

Speaker 2 This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.

Speaker 1 I love a ya, Olivia Williamson.

Speaker 2 She sure is swell.

Speaker 1 It's Raquel. Yes, we canna.
It's Sedana.

Speaker 2 Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

Speaker 1 Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors.
She's V VIP. It's Amanda V.
Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

Speaker 2 Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

Speaker 1 We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

Speaker 2 Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal.

Speaker 1 Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper.
Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.

Speaker 2 Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland.

Speaker 1 Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. It's our queen, it's Queen Laifa.

Speaker 2 Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran.
We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch.

Speaker 1 My favorite Murdoch, Karen McMurdo. She's a total knockout, it's Katie Mannock.

Speaker 2 We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Shadley.
In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. G, it's Lisa H.
We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder-Baron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthe.

Speaker 2 Always killing it, it's Lola Al Kalani.

Speaker 1 The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters.

Speaker 1 She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.
There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud.

Speaker 2 Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke.

Speaker 1 We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Telefson.

Speaker 2 Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony. Please don't stop, it's Solian Pop.
Let's take off with Tam Laplain.

Speaker 1 We're obsessed all with Tessa V.

Speaker 1 She ain't no shrinking violet couchar.

Speaker 1 We love you guys.

Speaker 1 If you like watch what crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 1 Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.

Speaker 3 Picture this. You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange.
The horizon doesn't look right. At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.

Speaker 3 Then the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all.
It's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water. And it's racing straight toward you.

Speaker 3 On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning.

Speaker 3 No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation.

Speaker 3 And this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive.

Speaker 3 Follow Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Against the Odds Tsunami in Thailand early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.