#3130 Below Deck Med S10E13: Party Pooper

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Ah, look at that.

Last show of the year, and we don't have an intro to date. You know why? Because we did Amazon live last night and I had it turned off.
So whatever. Hi, everybody.
Welcome to the show.

What for crappins?

Watch for crap.

I'm Ronnie, and that's Ben over there. Hi, Ben.

Hi, Ronnie. How are you?

You have the glow of a lady that's about to be off for a week. I I do have that glow.
I feel that glow. We are at the finish line for our content.

Although we still will have plenty of content on the feed, we have lots of good stuff.

Chiefly, we do our annual tradition, which is a crossover event with Reality Gaze, wherein we recap a holiday movie. And it usually spans over three or four episodes.

Well, this year, our holiday movie is My Secret Santa, which is available on Netflix. It's basically like Mrs.
Doubtfire meets a, or meets a, a holiday movie wherein a lady

dresses like Santa. So that way she can have a job at a ski resort so her daughter can go to snowboarding academy.

I mean, it's a universal song. Why? I mean, it really is.

We've all been there. Why? Why was it made? Why did we talk about it? It's like Mrs.
Doubtfire with all of the comedy talent.

I mean, with, yeah, it's it's like devoid of any kind of talent, but it's just fun to make that.

Just doubt. It's just doubt.

It's just Mrs. Doubt.

It definitely does not reach the same heights as Mrs. Doubtfire.

But again, the snowboarding academy, that's fun. And hi, Jinx.

And

yeah, we have a fun time. We have actually a really fun time recapping it.
We do every single year when we do this.

The four of us get on the mic and we chat for four hours or more because we have so much fun cracking each other up. It's always a miracle that we even get through the entire movie.

Yeah, super fun time. So check that out.
That'll be for four of the days. And then we're re-releasing some classic episodes, some real housewives of New York at Christmastime.

And then we'll have a classic bonus episode next week wherein we rank the alphabet letters and we're bitches about it. Okay.
The letter J, as I recall, doesn't end up winning any prizes. So join us.

We'll be here all next week doing that stuff.

So those of you newer, especially,

they'll all be new to you. Okay.
Yeah. And then we'll be back the following week to tackle eight zillion Bravo shows that will be on a double recap of the Valley.

I mean, not the Valley, the Valley Persian style.

There's so much coming up. But you know what? Let's not think about that because we're about to party.
Our face. We are going to part.

Tay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to be so great.
I'm so excited.

And, you know, what a great way to send us off into our holiday break than with a particularly crazy episode of Below Deck Med.

This is one that we've been bracing for for a while, for a very long time. The poop episode.
And

it arrived and it was as visceral as we expected. And there was other crazy stuff that happened.
A crazy cliffhanger.

I'm going to say, I think that I think this season of Below Deck Med is officially a really good season.

I'm not going to harp on how it's so much better than the last season of Below Deck, but I guess I just did, but I really am enjoying this Below Deck.

I feel like every episode, I'm like kind of like fired up a bit, and that's the best sign for a Below Deck episode.

There was a lot of drama happening on the internet yesterday over this episode because Kathy posted something in the morning on her Instagram that was like, oh, hello.

Oh, I've been dreading this episode. It's going to be the most painful episode of the year for me.

Please, I know you're all there for me and support me hearts. And so people are like, oh, my God, what happened to Kathy? Was this an

was this like a sexual harassment thing? Like the below deck down under thing that happened a few years ago? Was this,

you know, who was mean to Kathy? So everybody was online trying to figure out what happened to Kathy and the guesses were wild, you know, and horrible. And so everybody was ready for this huge.

And then there was kind of a turn against Kathy because people were like, wait a minute, if this is all about the poop and the shower drain and she's trying to get everybody all riled up, up, fuck Kathy then.

You know, there was some, you know, the internet. There's the, the comments are from lover to hater, even though something traumatic just could have happened.

And I thought, man, this girl has really stirred up a lot of drama. What if it is the poop in the drain?

And so I was watching the whole episode, like, oh my God, I hope it's more than the poop in the drain because Kathy is really going to get dragged.

And then, and then it was, you know, then it was a death in the family, which was so sad, but I was like, what a horrible ending to this.

Like, it was something really terrible and horrible for her, but it was also, she had so much of the country being like, fuck you, Kathy. Like, so much, so many people were ready to pounce on Kathy.

Yeah. And also, to be on the poop episode, like, what are the odds that that they would, like, you have this episode that is all about poop, and then it ends on this really serious note.

I was just not expecting that whatsoever. I was expecting something stupid because they were sort of like gearing up.

for um like max was complaining about nathan being irresponsible and i thought the cliffhanger was going to be Max having like a hissy fit on the picnic. And then it just took that turn.

I was like, oh my God. It's like this episode does everything.
It's wild. Yeah.
Yeah.

I really didn't like it because it was about poop, which I hate poop. I hate it.
It's one of the most, I mean, it's literally the most disgusting thing that people do.

And I hate talking about it in real life. I hate that we have to talk about it for.
18 hours today.

And I also hate that it's obviously the gay guy that did it. It's

clearly the gay guy in the tattoo, Joaquin, who did it, which also really pissed me off. Like, we're going through a rough time in this country right now, sir.

We don't need, you know, I know respectability politics. Be damned.
Okay. Stop pooping in drains.
What are you doing? We know it's. We don't need you pooping in drains.
We know it's him.

Yeah. And you would be so proud of me, Ronnie, because I immediately went and I looked up

what sort of narcotics could cause someone to poop uncontrollably. And guess what? You know what the answer is because you're Ronnie.
You know. But for the rest of us

the good old the good old cocaine

the illegal drugs most associated with causing need to defecate by the way this is according to Google AI

are stimulants primarily cocaine and methamphetamine

that goes right away it just came up it just says cocaine like in big letters it says cocaine is a well-known stimulant that can induce bowel movement shortly after use the reasons for this effect include blah blah blah blah blah um so i'm not saying that that's what happened but i just felt like doing that research after after watching the episode for some strange reason.

Yeah, well, there, now you know, you know, if you ever need to clear out, why take fiber when there's cocaine? I will also say

that, you know,

we had we had dinner with Asia back in June and she was like, oh, she's like, this is this, she basically told a story. She said, like, I, like, she once had to, like,

you know, grab poo out of a shower drain. And

so we were, we sort of knew something like this would be coming.

But, you know, of course, we didn't say anything because, you know, et cetera, you know, we don't want to spoil anything and it's not right. But she definitely was, her tales of it were so

they've stuck with me all this time for months and months and months. So finally to see this episode, I was like, oh my God, like, I've been waiting for this.

I was like, I need to see how this happened. I also need to see who did it.
I need to see this cast of characters who may have pooped in this drain. And,

you know, it definitely,

this was one of the most disgusting things that Bravo has ever aired.

I mean, Christmas week, too. Like, come on, man, really?

I hope this. I hope, I hope, again, like, it could have been any of those people, but we know it's the guy.
We know it's the guy with the mustache. We know it's the gay.

It's the Cokehead gay with the mustache and the tutu. I mean, we literally

he was literally wearing a t-shirt that said whip it, whip it real good. Okay.
Spelled whip it, like W-H-I-P-P-E-T.

okay and and like this guy this guy shat in the shower and crammed it into the drain we all know it and each had to reach in up to her elbow to get it out okay it's out there and if he didn't do it then he better point fingers at someone else on his on of his crew because right now all for it's clearly him every single time they every single time they're like who did this the camera would just like would just pan over to him it was like obvious that the editors were signaling it too right despite the little like who done it it was clear every single time they would just show the guy but wow oh my gosh disgusting just

so gross okay yeah you know why i'm pausing because i was of course looking to see um if anybody posted about this

Like, you know, the guest start, like, this was editing. And how dare you, how dare you suggest that I even pooped in the shower? And I cannot find anything.

I don't see any Joaquin denying anything online. That doesn't mean it's not happening.
It was just a one-page search. But

you know, like on Drag Race, isn't there something called like after the tuck or beyond the tuck or untucked? Like, why I still, I want that for some of these guests.

I want some of these guests to have to answer to their behavior where they have someone sits down and says, okay, so what was going on with the poop in the shower? Just like that.

That's an amazing idea, actually. I think we just gave Bravo another after show.
Go steal it from us, Bravo. Go ahead.
Yeah, steal it.

Because been, there have been too many, you know, some guests are like, fine. They're like, whatever.
I don't need to hear from them. But there are like many that I, I really need to hear.

I want them to be shamed. I feel like they come and they go.
And, you know, we all shame them on like, on social media, but we never hear from them. We never see from them.
Like,

we, I need them to be like sat down in a chair with a camera on and a bright light and answer for their behavior.

Well, you know, the other thing about this that was really upsetting is whenever something happens on a show and then it happens in our personal life, it's like something that we have to say, well, this happened to me too.

And this is when it happened to me, right? Like it naturally is kind of what we do on this show. And I do have a poop in the shower story.
And I was like, really?

So now I have to share a poop in the shower story? Come on. Okay.
So I have to tell you. So I was probably 12 and I was with my family.
We went to Florida and we stayed at this hotel.

It's a regular hotel, nothing fancy. And

my parents really wanted to go to karaoke. Like that's when karaoke became really big.
My mom was obsessed.

Like, she literally stayed at this place only to do karaoke because they had karaoke in the hotel lobby or whatever, bar, whatever, restaurant. So, they're excited.
They're like, hurry up, Bonnie.

Hurry, we're going to karaoke. I don't want to miss.
Like, my mom's really into karaoke. So,

I had to poop. I'm like 12 or whatever.
So, I'm like, I got to poop. So, I went into the bathroom.
And so, I sit down and I start. And then

the window was open. I noticed that there's a window in the bathroom and it's open.
And I'm like, who has a window in a hotel bathroom? But, you know, Florida.

So I got, I was like, what if someone sees, you know, I was 12. So I'm like, what if somebody passes by and they see me pooping?

So I got up to close the window and I like kind of, it was over the shower. So I had to like stand on the bathtub,

you know, reach over my little chubby 12-year-old self, close the thing, whatever. So then we go, you know, everything's fine.
So then we go to karaoke. I, I bomb, by the the way.

I basically shot on the karaoke stage. It was terrible vocally.
And then we go back to the room and my mom screams and she's like, ah,

and we're like, what happened? And she goes, someone pooped in the shower.

She called everybody she could call. I'm surprised she didn't call the FBI.
Like everybody showed up that could possibly be called.

She's freaking out on them, crying, losing her mind, which she'll do anyway. But we move hotel rooms.
My mom talked about it for years. Can you believe this disgusting hotel?

I mean, they were lucky that that was before Yelp. And it really didn't dawn on me until like

a lot later that that was probably me. I was, I was like right in the middle of starting, and I never admitted it.
I never admitted it to this day. It's like one of these things I take to the grave.

And you know, my mom is not doing so well. She's got an illness right now.
So it's really bad. And I'm like, do I have to confess this to my mom? And I will not do it.

I think it would bring her

extreme joy to know i have a finally an answer to the peep saga like who would do that how did that happen

it's all out now there you go it's all out now it's gonna it's gonna get leaked pun intended to your mom i'm literally blushing that was it happened when i was 12 but you see the shame can you imagine it's all these years later it's 38 years later and i'm still mortified i can't even believe that it was

not good

i don't have the relief i don't have the relief of telling the story. I thought I would feel better.
All night, I was like, should I tell this? This is disgusting. Nobody needs to hear this.

And I was like, well, you're 12. Forgive yourself.
It's time to forgive your, it's not. You don't forgive yourself.
I'm still not over it. So I was traumatized by this episode.
Wow.

This really brought up a lot. I shockingly don't have a poop in the shower store.
I've got other poop stories.

I have a tragic story about pooping. I think I...
Did I say this on a bonus episode once about pooping my pants and driving back from Arizona once?

That was really one of the very worst things that ever happened to me where

I was driving back from Tucson and I was with three friends.

We were driving together and we stopped in Palm Springs to have dinner and we were getting gas and I let out like the tiniest little fart at the gas station while it's doing the gas.

And I was like, whoop, that does not feel right.

That doesn't feel right. So I sat there with my butt clenched and like for like the next five minutes as we went over to the, we got to the restaurant.
And I was like, mm-hmm.

And I was like, but I wanted to be chill about it.

So, you know, butt was super clenched, super clenched. We sit down at the table and I'm like, I, um, I'm like, excuse me, where's the bathroom? And they're like, it's right over there.

And for whatever reason, this restaurant in Palm Springs, in order to get to the bathroom, you have to cross over a tiny bridge, like you're in a Japanese tea garden in front of the entire restaurant.

So I'm like walking like my but my butt clenched on display. And I, I, because I, in my mind, I'm like, are the back of my pants brown? I have no idea.
And I'm just like over this little bridge.

And then I get to the bathroom. And like, someone is in the stall and they're doing who knows what.
And they're there forever. And I'm just standing there.
And then there's another guy.

And it looked like I was cruising the bathroom because it's Palm Springs. And I was like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, please just let me go.
And

it was, um,

and I, it was, it was a really unpleasant experience. Oh, no.

Oh, no.

But just the fact that I had to walk over a tiny bridge in my poop shame, I was like, why? Why do I have to cross a bridge in front of all the diners? Like, what if I'm poop stains? The worst.

Oh, my gosh. All right.
So, you know, humans poop waiquine, okay? But don't shove it down the thing. I mean, my God, you embarrassed us all, sir.

So here we go. Season 10, episode 13, The Poop A Trader, it's called.
And Gail is just coming to the boat for the poop episode. I'm so happy for her.
Yes. It's like, sweet angel, girl.

Little angel, sweet little girl. Coming back for the poop episode.
So she's coming and What's his buns has just made out with Kizzy like two days ago and also like

went on some horrible racist tirade recently in the news. We've been getting a lot of emails about Nathan as well.
So listen, you know, I know what Nathan did.

He, there's all these articles like, oh, hero, Irish hero saves people in the horrible tragedy. No one is denying that that was a tragedy.
Stop it. We're not saying that.

What we're we're saying is you can do a good thing, but then also follow it up with a very bad thing, which he did. Yeah, you can still be shitty.
You know, you still don't go on a racist tirade.

It's like it doesn't absolve you from doing something good. The emotions were heightened.
Yes, I get it. You know, people who are saying that I get it.
It was still shitty.

It was a shitty thing to say. And then he came out and doubled down on it later in the week.
So stop it. Like, that's, it's just shitty, period.
It's really shitty.

It really is.

Just to answer that stuff. Yeah, absolutely.
I 100% still stand in our

declaration that it was shitty, a shitty thing to do on an episode about shit.

So Gail is here. Gail is here.
And they hug and everyone's happy and everyone's watching. And, you know, Nathan takes out an umbrella.

The thing that I was focusing on was what is going on with Gail's bag? It looked like a guitar bag or was it a golf bag? It had this like long, tall. It was like a tennis bag.
What was that?

What was in her bag? Why was it, why was it, why did it have a tall part in the back? I couldn't figure it out. Was it it a tennis? But did she have tennis rackets? Was she going to tennis games?

I thought it was a racket bag, but that's probably too big to be a racket bag, right? I was like, what is in there? What's what is what is why does Gail have such a strangely shaped bag?

Or was she like, oh, I can't find my normal bag. I have to take my tennis bag.
Then she doesn't have a racket in there because then Nathan kept on hugging her and he was hugging around it.

So it was empty that, well, whatever was up there because he was crushing it. I spent a lot of time observing the situation.
Yeah, I did too. I noticed that too.

I was like, is there a lot of tennis playing on this? But is it to kiss kiss Captain Sandy's ass because she likes that? What Geraldine? Gigi Fernandez? Gigi Fernandez.

I always want to call her Geraldine Ferraro. Gigi Fernandez.
I'm sure she would like that. I have.
I have on this show many times. Gigi's like, oh, man.

To be confused for a hot bitch like Geraldine Ferraro. That's a compliment.

I think I have a picture of Geraldine Ferraro from like 1985.

Wow. Which I just want to brag.
I wish that was when you pooped your pants.

Who says I didn't?

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So everybody's watching this like it's like they are just seeing the most romantic ending to a movie they've ever seen. They're all standing there.
Max is like crying.

He's like taking pictures on his phone of it. And they're hugging and whatever.
Everybody's like happy. And then

Asia's, you know, everybody's happy. Gail's there.
I mean, not allow. What do you want me to say? It's a parade for Gail.
Fucking Gail. Gail's very happy.

She's like, I'm really excited to come back to the mid. It's been almost, this has been almost 10 months since I've been seeing Nathan.
And unfortunately, it all ended hardly ended bad.

But life goes on, and I want to be filled in a very professional, platonic manner.

So then everyone's like crying, and everyone's like, we're going to make up over a game of tennis.

Kevin says plutonic. She said plutonic, which I like.
Plutonic.

She's like, I want to

I want this to be plutonic.

So everybody, you know, Aisha, of course, is standing there like,

like a little doggy when you're home, coming home from work, just wagging her tail, just wiggling her whole body.

And Sandy's like, hey, check out Nathan. He's a boatswain now.
Isn't that great? Isn't that great, girl? He's a boatswain. Oh, I know.
Congratulations.

And so then they are like just smiling at each other. And it's cute.
And of course, Kizzy is like super angry. She's downstairs.
She's not even there to see it, but she's just standing at a counter.

And she's like, what the fuck is that? What's happening upstairs? And Joe's like, it's Gail. Gail, this is Gail's bag.
Nathan's Gail. She's here.
Look how strange her bag is.

God, I knew I had a fucking hated this girl for a reason. She can't even bring the red bag out of her boot.

Joe, why are you on the bag? I'm going to take a fuck up on charter.

And so

Kizzy's like, oh, fuck, Gail. You know, it's like, ooh, Gail's here.

Just her little iron. Oh, Kizzy.
It's so fun to watch Kizzy lose every single week. I mean, I've never seen somebody try harder and just fail harder than Kizzy.
And it's glorious.

Every single week, she fails even harder. I mean, how can you up the amount of fail that this girl is doing on the show? Love to see it.
Yeah.

So then Gail meets Kathy

and

there's like a lot of chatter. And then Joe is outside talking to Nathan.
And Joe's like, how are you feeling, mate? And Nathan's like, God, mate, brought a tear to my eye.

He's like, are we going back to the doctor today do you think sorry to change oh god gail and i we're not in by the way have you noticed that like when joe does his like confessionals he talks in this like hushed tone as if he's like yeah at a museum he's like yeah gail and i we're not in a good place there's multiple reasons i don't know what it's about to her but i think she doesn't really respect me like she doesn't like because of like you know what i've done like to the girls and stuff so like since last season her perspective of me and my perspective has just never caught on like oh so she doesn't like how you treat other women because you treat them badly so you don't like her because she sees you for exactly who you are that's that's

exactly the worst yeah your perspective is that you're you you're horrible to women which you are still to this day by the way you've actually one-upped yourself just like kizzy you've one-upped yourself in how horrible you are yeah you're horrible to women and then you don't like that she sees that you're horrible to women.

So you're horrible to her, which is further evidence that you're horrible to women. Yeah.

And he's like, but you know, I've got mates with Nathan, so I don't want this to be a bad thing for the deck team.

So now Gail is changing and Kathy's talking to her. And she's like, well, I've heard a little, someone's a bit more excited than others to see you.
Is that right?

So you're hated by the teeth, Tutter, eh?

And Gail's like, who are you talking about? No idea.

I'm so honored to and so privileged to have Captain Cindy, you know, call me up in a time of need. Since stepping off Media, Mr.
Yeek, I've not stopped learning.

I did my dive masters, and then I became a scuba diving instructor. I studied a little bit, I got an ice cream machine, and I studied that manual.
I can make really good ice cream now. Got a blender.

I haven't looked at that manual, but I think it's pretty simple. You just press the on button.
I've been become really good at a lot of different things.

I can put together IKEA furniture now

quicker than ever. Studied that quite a bit.
Really did a lot of work with the L Wench.

CSS, did you know you hold them by the loopy things, not the sharp things? It's a game changer.

I learned so much. When you carry a knife, you should carry it the blade facing your elbow instead of out because you could hurt somebody.
Turns out, irons are not what you put charcuterie on.

So, Nathan's like, I'm having heart palpitations. And Aisha says, Focus, this could be the first time the rest of your life.
Go tell her what to do.

Go boss around.

She says that and like, you know, in in a rom-com, they're like, what are you doing here, bro? Go on and get her. Get her.
Bring her back.

It's like she's leaving on a train, but like the below deck version is like, what are you doing here talking? Go and give her a chamois. It's like, that's like,

that's the romantic overture. It's like, it's like an officer and a gentleman.

So we find out that Max has not put a trash bag in the trash can. And so Joe's like, Maximus, come on here.
And he's like, sorry, Saflindi, don't take.

So Max is still bitter. And then we see everybody getting ready for the charter.
Gail's getting a tour of the boat. Gail and Nathan are giggling and all that good stuff.

And then, you know, and I have to say, I really like Gail.

Don't really like Nathan, but what I really hate, love stories on the boat. I hate love stories on the boat.
It's like my least favorite part of Below Deck.

I like the messiness when they're fucking with each other. Not fucking each other, but like making each other cry and stuff.
But I hate like,

happy love stories. I just don't like them.
I don't like them in real life and I don't like them on the boat.

Yeah. I um

you know, I mean, I agree. I actually largely agree.
I, I've, I don't, I don't think I've ever really bought into any blow deck romance. I'm trying to think of any.

I think they, it's just, it's just not the show for it. You know, it was, it was sort of cute.

Like taking out the what we know about Nathan now, when Captain Sandy said, Gail's coming on the boat and like seeing Nathan's like uncontrollably smiling like that was actually very sweet but then like that just kind of I don't know

it like

like it was like a momentary it was like a it was a ephemeral moment of sweetness that just became more fodder for below deck like I just I'm with you I'm just not here for the love story at all yeah get rid of it's because it never works out annoying never works out like everyone's the everyone so the thing is this

this show has really leaned into the love story with these two because we started off the entire season they already showed us that the baby is on its way like the baby is born so they're like oh my god a below deck baby this is so exciting they're really leaning into the below deck babiness of it all

but don't we know the first rule of being a bosun on below deck is that you've left a baby behind in florida so like this is not going to end well

This is seeding a very bad story for a live. This is like a premium.

No, this is like what seems so nice, but it's really just the origin story of this baby being fucked up and below deck 20 and being like oh

my dad left me my dad had more care that's all i know about him

because it is i mean and the whole love story you i thought that the the charter finished they went they had this mad romance something happened we didn't know what really happened but then we find out in this episode that they basically just traveled six weeks together Which, I mean, it's is a lot.

I mean, I guess, especially when you're young. It's intense, you know? So they traveled together for six weeks.
She, they went home. He went back home.
She went back home.

They thought it was everything was great. And then she was calling him and he just ghosted her for like five days or something.
And then she was like, is everything okay?

Because I just want to know you're okay. And he's like, I can't do this.
Like, you're nagging me. And then dumped her.
So am I supposed to find this romantic?

Because I would say never get back together with this person again.

This is what it sounds like to me. This person basically had the hottest girl he's ever had or will ever get, got six weeks of sex with this guy in love, with this hot girl.

And then the second she required him to even just call her back, he was like, fuck you. I'm going on the boat again.
And maybe I'll be getting laid by somebody else.

And I don't want you to pressure me because I'm on TV now. So I can get laid all the time.
And then basically did just that, came on the boat.

And then he ended up, you know, not having anybody that he could continuously bang because all he had left was Kizzy. And let's face it, she's a grab bag of terrible.

and so now he's going back to her so to me this isn't a romantic story so i really don't like that they're editing it like oh my god what a romance because to me it's not it's gross yeah i i agree and uh this is by the way i don't think this is the first below deck baby i think that honor goes to jp and danny was were that those their names from below deck sailing remember that

pregnancy of ill repute

remember he like he got he knocked her up and then denied ever like knocking her up. And that was like one of the messiest things.
Oh, that's a bravo. That's true.
Yes, that's true. I forgot all that.

What a piece of shit that guy is. I'm just saying.
His mom was trying to make her take the test and all that, the DNA test or whatever. So like progress in that we have a baby that

a below deck guy actually takes credit for. But yeah, I just don't see this as being like a great romance.

I think this is like a nice, it's like a nice, you know, romance and some part of their lives.

But now they're bound to each other for the rest of their lives you know one hopes but um yeah i'm i'm not buying it either yeah settling for mediocrity i'm not cheering this right before christmas that guy no i'm returning this i'm getting this i'm getting the gift receipt and i'm sending it back

bringing this to whole foods i'm bringing these two to whole foods okay

dropping them off yes so guess what sandy's doing she's like hey come here i want to show you something you haven't caught up on on wind in a while get over here let me show you on my my little iPad.

Wind! Wind is coming. It's great.

Yeah, there's a storm that's coming. Yeah, storm is a stunt casting.
It's played by Jennifer Aniston. Oh, she's going to be great.

Stormy Daniels. Wind, the Stormy Daniels season.

So then Mason. Played by Jennifer Aniston, of course.

She does great work. You know, she's a lot more range than people give her credit for.
People think Jennifer Aniston can only do that like

voice, but she can do a lot more. more she can do stormy daniels as a storm very well very convincing

so nathan is showing gail the emergency exit which i suggest she uses immediately and

jump in the water yes yeah run so the girl you replaced and she's like covering for not replaced and he's like okay covering sorry well her and joe were uh playing around and then she got sick and she missed the crew last night out and then joe hooked up with kizzy and she's like oh that's rough like he's already already tattletailing on his best friend, which I love.

He's like, Yeah, Joe stole a piece of shit. Be mean to him again.
And she's like, Uh, well, that's rough. And he says, Well, I've not kissed her on a night out.

And she's like, Don't make things weird.

I'm just telling you, I want to be transparent, like the back of my head. And she's like, Okay.

And he's like, There's nothing to worry about. I'm not worried.
He's like, Do I don't even speak to her? I really, like, I'm literally like super hot. I don't worry about things like this.

But I'm just telling you, I'm not interested in Kizzy at all. It's really okay.
It's like, I don't want to bang her again. I don't even want to have a threesome with the two of you.

Okay, you can really stop now. Please, really, please, that's enough.

So then up on deck, Joe is really moody. He's like pissed off.
He does not like that she's even on the boat. Discuss such a piece of shit.
What did that girl ever do to you?

All she said is you called her a princess and she said you're a dick. I mean,

why is that? Why is that sending you over the edge? Yeah, I really. You insulted her first.
That's the other thing. It's like, you did the insult first.

Every time they show that clip, he's like, I think you're a princess. Like, you started it.
And then she called you. She started it.

She's allowed to defend herself.

So then Max is with Kathy. They're in bed cuddling.
And he's got paper in his hand. And she's like, you know, I got a little bit emotional this morning.
I've just never had someone get emotional.

And he just, oh, she fans her face like she's crying over Max, which is also disturbing. What's Kathy in love with Max for? What the hell is going on?

Do you not see this man maybe like losing his mind because he wasn't made lead that camp? Like, how do you find this attractive, Kathy? Come on, man.

These people have all lost their mind. So Kathy's saying, I don't ever cry.
And he's like, oh, me geese, what is happening? She's like, I don't cry in front of anyone.

I didn't cry in front of my ex-boyfriends. I only cry in the car listening to music and getting to the place I need to go because I feel like I'm not wasting time then.

She's like, excuse me.

I need to cry, but I'm going to wait until I do some errands. I like to multitask.

That's how I do it, too.

I'm emotionally British.

Oh, yeah.

I wish I could be. I feel like I was at one point, but I'm such an easy crier now.
It's crazy.

I can cry in movies and stuff like that, but, you know, or like a show or somewhere where it's, you know, you're like just sitting there and you can cry.

But yeah, mostly I just get in the car and cry. But the car is the best place to cry.
Car is a good place to cry.

Well, the best is when the car is a good place to cry because it also makes for really good content in an indie film.

It's like you're not making an indie film until you have someone cry in the car, right? Yeah.

And you have your whole soundtrack there, you know, because the phone's usually hooked up so you can play whatever song you want, like Easy to Be Hard from the movie of Hair. And I'm like,

Sometimes I like to go in the car and then pretend I'm Kevin Klein in the ice storm and just cry at the steering wheel. That's also fun.
Yeah.

And also what's really funny about it is especially if you're like sobbing. Like if somebody dies or something and I really need to cry, I will go into the car and I'll drive.

And it's like, it feels like like it's private.

You know, it's like, well, I'm in the car, but it's also the most performative place you can cry because people do look over and they're like, what the hell? And I'm not a pretty crier.

I'm like, my whole face bloats up, my eyes almost close. And I'm just like, I look hideous not coming down my nose.
And I'll just look at them like, fuck you for watching me cry. Good.
Suffer.

Suffer from my crying.

Jesus.

You know who cries in a car so well? Joan Cusack. Ugh.
She can just wail in a car, right? I feel like I've seen five movies where she's just driving and just like sobbing in a car.

That's really her specialty.

She can really drive through those tears. Like, I would have to, I would have to pull over because like I wouldn't be able to see it, but she just can do it.
Mouth agape, everything.

I mean, that is her sweet spot. Yeah.

So Kathy is telling Max, I'm secretly happy that Gail has Nathan and it's not some random girl that might like you. That's not going to happen.
So you're safe. So preference sheet meeting time.

Pull out the iPads. Okay.
Whoa, it's it's a bunch of real estate people. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Well, here we go.
Here's the first sign. Here's the first bad sign.
Okay. Carlin owns 17 companies.
Okay. So

what sort of fraud is Carlin up to, right? And that's too many companies. Carlin is full of shit.
Carlin's got some LLCs that she's got.

She's got some LLCs for different properties that she's counting as.

separate companies or something.

Carlin is like a shower drain on the show, full of shit. Okay.
Like, this is a woman who has defrauded people. I'm telling you this right now.

Owns 17 companies? No. I mean, like, yes, I agree with what you say.
She just has opens up lots of little LLCs, but

something is fishy about this.

Yeah. So she's chartering, she's chartering Bravado.
It's a real estate brokerage company from Florida. So we know it's trouble because listen, real estate people, my family was all in real estate.

And let me tell you, the most fucked up offices I've ever been in, real estate offices. Those agents are crazy.

And if anybody's going to shit in a drain, it's going to be a real estate agent on a party vendor with the other real estate agents. Yeah, I don't know what it is.

Like the concept of like real estate, real estate in Florida, I think, I feel like that's just always been linked with nefarious deeds, right? Like

what, the, the, the stock market crash, like 1929, Black Friday, that was somehow linked to speculation of real estate in Florida.

Like it all comes back to real estate in Florida, 2008, predatory lending, Florida real estate.

It's all like, so when I find that there's someone who owns 17 companies doing real estate in Florida, I'm like, okay, we'll be seeing you again in a few years when

the court reports come out. Yeah.

I wouldn't be surprised. So Josh is saying that they've got a pescatarian, a vegan, and some gluten-freeze.
And he's like, oh, God,

not a vegan again. And then we see a flashback to the guy being like, well, I'm vegan.
And, you know, vegans make more effort towards our food. Oh, okay.
She is that guy, that guy. Okay.
Um,

so uh, we see uh Carlyn Newman, we see all of our whole preference sheet and everything. She loves a frozen butterfinger, I'll tell you that much, and uh, she loves Cheez-Its and lots of other things.

She hates her teeth, she hates her teeth. That's that's what we have.
She hates having healthy teeth, yeah. That's that's the takeaway.

And Aisha's like, Carly would like to get all out with an 80s-themed celebration.

She would love to have Asian food for dinner that night

uh yeah and then they want to see some lighthouse and they want you know there's just all this stupid they want to do the 80s party is working my nerves already and so now um kizzy is ironing and nathan's like well have you talked to v at all she's like well i think that she will speak to her when she's back oh

poor v isn't it be v's birthday too or is that tomorrow the next day the next day is v's birthday which is what's crazy about um kathy Kathy losing a family member on that same day. So

we then have Joe talking to Gail and everything. And he's like, first of all, like, when I got the news, I spotted me going out.
It's like, oh, great. You're.

You do realize you're responsible for cleaning that up, right?

And he's like, because obviously we had an UG last season, you know? And the only bad thing that I had last season, regardless of what happened, is basically you.

so like i'm carrying this energy of you being the worst thing that ever happened to me all of last year she's like oh really the worst thing that happened to you you you caused a huge shitstorm of drama between two other girls as well what are you talking about the only bad energy was with gail that's not true that's verifiably untrue sir yeah

like last season i didn't really understand like when you're ideal on saying something it frustrates the hell out of me and last season that's how i felt like i never meant to disrespect you as a late deck in and i just felt like how I felt like I was being treated like yeah honestly and I hate micromanagers and I think I became the micromanager that I always hated like I've done bad and I just want to say I'm sorry I've grown as a person I'm like doing that full 360 kind of thing I've you know that when you've done a 360 it means you're in the same place as where you started but that's okay Joe because that was true but it was true yeah that was a good call and she's just smiling at him but then it cuts to her talking to us and she's like Joe's a snake.

He said, Yeah, we're cool, but before, and he's gone behind my back and stabbed it. So I just don't trust him.

And he's like, I still don't trust her because last charter, I didn't even say this for the good of Nathan at the time.

But listen here: the fact that she's texting her boyfriend while playing with Nathan, she's cheated. She's a cheater.
And I lose a lot of respect when people cheat.

You know, once a cheat, always a cheat. Who you?

I know of all people saying this. Of all

people.

And your best friend, Nathan, was with somebody who was with Artie, but with somebody else. So how is he not a cheater?

Yeah. So Joe is

the producer's like, not to be too harsh, which, by the way, be harsh, producer. But what about what happened with you and Kizzy? He's like, yeah, well,

so, you know, even though I'm not with, hold on. I'm sorry.
Hold on.

I'll go into the question. All right.
I've got some, I've got some element. I've got some.
Hold it. Hold it.
Okay. I can stick the landing.
Okay. Once upon a time, there was...
No, no, okay.

Knock, knock, who's there? Infidelity. No, no, that's not how I should do it.
What? Why did you cheat across the room?

No, no, no. I'm not trusting the cheese.
Grandpa.

Okay.

Okay.

So, okay. I've got some element of regret, but kissing Kizzy is not even the same realm.
Gail is a cheater, but I'm actually a single man. So how can you put me as a cheater?

It's very different for me.

No. Okay.
No. Not really, because you were kissing that girl while she was crying and telling her there's no one else for you.
You're not interested in anybody else on the boat.

You're just going to be with her, which kind of would make you her boyfriend. So

yeah, you're a cheater. Yeah, you're a cheater.

You just tried to make plans with her after the

charter season's done. That is implying a certain level of commitment.
You're a cheater.

And a pumpkin eater. So now Joe is complaining, or Josh is complaining about food preferences.

And Josh is like, wow, bro,

Max, you're you're the nicest person I've ever fucking met in my life. I need a hard worker.
And he's like, oh, bro, I appreciate that.

And he's like, yeah, you know, see, my problem is I think I'm a nice guy. You know, I just like women.
Max is like, uh-huh. And it just doesn't work in my favor.

Let me tell you what doesn't work in your favor. The clowning.

The clown makeup is the worst.

I came out with an album last year, and here's my music video of me dressed as a clown singing. It's all about you're a cringy person, sir.
I used to live on a commune.

Here's the naked photo of me on the commune. You know, these things just sometimes like are a little bit of a turn off to the type of girls that we've seen come on

as stews on this on blow deck. You know,

when a guy says, yeah, girls don't like me because I'm just a nice guy and they just want assholes, which is basically what he's saying. And it's like, no, it's not the girl.
It's you. Okay.

Watch the show back and tell me you're not cringing, sir. Okay.
Yeah.

Fucking Fucking a simple as that.

And also just be yourself because who you're, who you are is not this commune loving fucking hippie with clown makeup. You're a psycho.

You, you admitted to like, you, you, you, you admitted to being the kind of person to grab your staff's head and shove it down on

the counter or a hot plate. I think he got shoved on the hot plate, but he shoved his other people down on the counter or something.
So you're a psycho.

So if you just go into that, people will like you. Just be who you are.
Just be yourself. Be you, be you.
And by the way,

what I was trying to say before about like the girls that come on below deck, it's this, I just feel like most people who would be interested in someone who lived on a commune and or someone who dabbles in the fine clownery arts just probably are not interested in also like working on a yacht.

I feel like. I feel like you're sort of like a counterculture kind of person who doesn't want to necessarily be part of a system that is serving, you know, the wealthy and the elite.

So I just, I don't know why I felt like I'd need to clarify that. I was like, guys, I don't want to offend Kizzy.
Guys, I want to make sure.

But

so back to Joe and Max not talking. And Joe is like, I feel like I got something special going on.
And Max like, oh, yeah, like with me. He's like, yeah, I've just got like a mental block.

He's like, oh, mental block. He's like, I got no, you know, because between me and you.
Oh, then, well, I'm sorry. Then Nathan tells Asha that they kissed.

And Asia's, you know, basically like, you know, not surprised, but I am disappointed. And,

and I think it was around here, but maybe it was later. It's probably multiple times where Joe was like, she's more of a relationship sort of girl.
I don't know if I'm ready yet.

It's like, of course, he's going to say that. Of course, he's going to pull out that whole bullshit.
Like, oh, she really wants to, she really wants to go fast.

And I'm just, I can't go fast like that because I'm not a cheater. Yeah, he's been setting it up for that this whole season.
And here he is finally going up with his stupid plan.

And also, Nathan, you know, I have to say, like, Joe's the one to blame here. Joe's the big asshole in the situation.

But Nathan, what is Nathan doing going around telling everybody his best friend's business? He's not, he's not a good friend either, Nathan.

You know, he's like tattletaling to literally all the girls now about Joe. I mean, Joe deserves it.
I'm not standing up for Joe. I'm just saying that Nathan's not really a good friend either.

Like he's not a good boyfriend and he's not really a good friend either. So what's the point of this guy? And he's not actually good at his job.
Like, what the hell?

It's also going to be actually more more, like, normally I wouldn't care, but I think actually it's going to be more hurtful to V because it's a good chance that V will find out before,

like, before Joe has a conversation with her. And on top of that, there's like that embarrassing thing of like, everyone knows except for her.

And so, like, it doesn't have to be that way if Nathan just sits on it until it comes out. But now he's going to tell Aisha.

It's just, it's going to get around and he's going to tell, and he's already told

Gail. So it's just sort of shitty for V more so than anything else.
But anyway, so Nathan is saying, well, I mean, it's also the time end because our fellows passing anniversary is coming up tomorrow.

And Aisha's like, and her birthday. God, why can he just not keep it in his pants?

And then so

Captain Sandy's like, oh, hey, everybody, I don't know if you saw this. Wind is back on the air.
We are not leaving the dock. Okay, I got 10 episodes to watch.
We're staying here tonight.

All right, normal person. Listen here.
I'm sorry, I forgot your name. I'm just going to call you Muffin Top.

It fits for anybody who really isn't on camera so okay we're not leaving the boat okay go to red relax uh

it's gonna be a great great episode of wind i don't know if you heard about this but john larraquette's gonna be a guest star and uh i just i've been a big larraquette head ever since 1987 so this is just a huge night for me can't wait oh

so um let's see um

Kathy is, yeah, guest star coming and stuff. And

Joaquin is, who's the gay in the 2-2? Well, he puts on the 2-2 later, but he's like, I already found the teeth that I want to fuck.

And Carlyn's like, who? She's like, the blonde in the middle, which is Nathan. And Captain Sandy's like, okay, all right.

Well, welcome to the Motor Yacht Bravado. Unfortunately, we are not departing the dock today, okay?

But first thing in the morning, we're going to check the weather and then we'll take off. But you know what?

Honestly, you don't even want to leave the dock because the episode of wind that's happening tonight is, it's going to knock your socks off if the promos are to be believed and i believe them because they're always true jennifer aniston playing stormy daniels in wind get with him

so it's the boat tour time and so they're going through the boat tour and the guests are just hilarious they're like oh my god queenie wants to be saved by the blonde man

he's like yes

and then um joe and max are sliding down the stair rails feet first which is always fun and And, you know, Aisha's

showing them the hot tub and stuff. And one of the guys is like, me and you, baby, right here.
And he's like, as long as you don't touch me under the water, he goes, what about above the water?

So Joaquin,

they're basically just all like taking their big old, big old tour, going around and everything. Joaquin's wearing the captain's hat and he's like, he's on a jet ski.
And he's like,

and Captain Sandy's like, hey nathan are you wearing cologne is it because you're is it because your last is on the boat deck no it's tiger bomb yeah and by tiger bomb do you mean obsession for men by calvin klein no it's tiger bomb you mean eternity by calvin klein No, it's tiger bomb.

You mean white diamonds traditionally for women, but you're changing standards and you're up, you're moving things around because why not? It's 2025, huh? No, it's just tiger bomb.

Yeah, I've never heard of someone wearing tiger bomb as cologne. Although Norma does wear preparation age behind her ears.

God bless her. God bless her.

Her ears never look better, though. So Gail is they're cleaning and more cleaning, and the rain is gonna come.
And

so basically, Gail is like, we should go check that deck to see if it's clean. And Max says, hey, it's no, it's clean, it's raining.
So of course it's clean.

She's like, I know, but it's still my first day. Still trying to be a good girl, you know?

And, um,

but of course, Max just wants to slack off and like put his feet up because this whole thing is that he's tired this episode. Yeah, and so let's see.

So, Gail is saying, um, day one, I was so skeptical to come see you guys, Nathan,

especially Aisha. And he's like, oh, really? What about me? Thanks, fucking hell.

So then Max is muttering to himself on the deck. He's like, oh, you do you pay me for this? Fuck me over.

So he gets too relaxed with his girlfriend on the dock, and what do I do?

Look at me, so professional. I just came down the stairs on the wedding with my feet.
But okay, I'm not president. I'm fine.
Guillotine. Guillotine.

Hey, everyone, this is the end of part one of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on your podcast feed.
It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening.
Catch you on the second half.

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She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.

There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska.
She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Telefson.

Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony. Please don't stop.
It's Solian Pop. Let's take off with Tam LaPlain.
You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons. She ain't no shrinking Violet Koutar.

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