#3131 Below Deck Med S10E13 Part Two: Party Pooper

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Speaker 1 Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. This is part two of a two-part recap.
If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps.

Speaker 1 Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye.
Enjoy the show.

Speaker 2 So now Nathan and Gail have like their 80s rom-com moment where they sit on the boat and they confess their feelings.

Speaker 2 You start saying things like, that's mad seeing you again you know it's brought back a lot of fucking feelings she's like no no feelings it's like yeah for me there is no feelings genuinely i think i love you man

Speaker 2 you think a lot of me i think i love you say the strawberry thing to me one more time do you want a strawberry oh there it is it's true it's love

Speaker 2 you can't say you can't say that you love me and he's like i can no you can't i can no don't say it

Speaker 2 it's a big thing to drop on day one i feel like i've spent a lot of last year just pretending i'm okay

Speaker 2 i don't want any trouble i don't want trouble i leave in two days and i'm gone and it's done again so please no more trouble

Speaker 2 girl i love you we're having a below deck romance Isn't this beautiful? I can't go another day without you. I can't be on these high seas without seeing your beautiful little face.
It's just Oscar.

Speaker 2 Give it a little bit of a little juzh there. Lissello romance.

Speaker 2 So she's telling us, can't we just be friends? Like, I want to be friends after a lot. And then she tells us the story of how they went out of town for six weeks together.
Then he ghosted her.

Speaker 2 And she was saying, can you just let me know that you're okay? And then he was like

Speaker 2 ghosting her.

Speaker 2 And then he broke up with her because she had the nerve to say, call me back. So yeah, super romantic story.
I don't know. How could you get back to someone who does that to you? Because that's like,

Speaker 2 first of all, it's disrespectful, but that's also just like base communication. Like, I don't know if I could trust

Speaker 2 that that person wouldn't do something like that again. When things get tough, that they just up and disappear and you don't hear from them.
And then you're the crazy one for being worried about them.

Speaker 2 I don't know. That's that to me is like a real big, like, like, I don't know.
I don't think you can come back from that

Speaker 2 i wouldn't

Speaker 2 so um josh is asking if uh kizzy has heard from v and she's like no i hate myself at this point i'm sure everyone knows i kissed joe because on a boat there's no secrets especially when you go behind a camera then pull them back to get to the front smile in the camera's face

Speaker 2 But, you know, the walls have ears. And for the next day, I just want to pretend that V doesn't exist so that I can like get through it without feeling like shit.
Oh,

Speaker 2 I'm such a good person. Look at me feeling bad the next day.

Speaker 2 No, you were leading up to that the whole day. And I'm not going to listen to you and Joe's, like, oh, we were just drunk.
We got out.

Speaker 2 No, we saw you two leading up to this for like the whole week before. So stop.
There were sober decisions the entire time. There were sober subterfuges.

Speaker 2 Like, this is, this is not a, oh, we got drunk and it just happened.

Speaker 2 And like, also, Kizzy pretending like she's actually feeling bad about this, but she has not shown any visible sign of remorse is hilarious. Like, you, just because you say it does not make it true.

Speaker 2 We're watching you, ma'am.

Speaker 2 So everyone's doing their jobs.

Speaker 2 And Asha brings Carlin a snack. And so now they're starting to plant the seeds of who might be the pooper because Asha brings some dates and Carlin's like, oh, these are really good for digestion.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was going to say they're good for pooping. Dun dun dun.
It's a poops out mystery. It's also

Speaker 2 poops out.

Speaker 2 Also, it was very weird because at the same time this was airing we were on amazon live and you were talking about a cookbook that's all about dates and then we were talking about how it's good for pooping there i mean how many times do you need to be reminded to take your dates from this podcast but here i know seriously oh my hot date book is right over there that's it's it's reminding me right now to take a poop um so

Speaker 2 so max is dancing around joe's laughing they're all having fun and then asia is talking to kissing kathy about the 80s party party. And Asha's like, well, tonight we've got an 80s party.

Speaker 2 And my experience of the 80s was not being alive yet.

Speaker 2 Okay, Aisha, that wasn't nice.

Speaker 2 I'm very young.

Speaker 2 So then people are getting ready. And then someone says, like, like, Joaquin, did you just fart? He's like, no, I didn't fart at all.
So like another suspect in our midst.

Speaker 2 And then this guy, Daniel, is like, it's that guy's dick coming out of his ass ass from last night. And Monkey's like, don't be a bitch.

Speaker 2 But also does set up

Speaker 2 a little bit of the

Speaker 2 suspect situation a bit. I don't know what I'm saying.
I can't use words. So people are doing the tables.

Speaker 2 And Kathy is just so happy because she's got so much cuteness in her life right now with Max and everything.

Speaker 2 And Max is in his cabin talking to himself, saying, Oh, my little Carrie. She is also my tiny, little lover.
Tiny lover. Oh,

Speaker 2 me closer, tiny lover.

Speaker 2 Josh is talking about how all these diets are very stressful, but luckily, because they've requested an Asian dinner, it's actually a lot easier because you can sort of navigate through all these things more easily.

Speaker 2 So he's, he's fine. It's like they're not going to do the whole, like, whoa, everyone wants something else storyline today.

Speaker 2 This is tonight's an episode about things coming out, not things coming in to your mouth. So

Speaker 2 then

Speaker 2 down now another

Speaker 2 foreshadowing. One lady is like, whoa, this bathroom smells.

Speaker 2 So does this mean that the poop has happened or has it not happened? Either way, the

Speaker 2 lingering specter of a bad poop situation is hanging over this boat. Yeah, someone immediately went in and pooped down the drain? I don't think so.

Speaker 2 They had more scenes in that hallway, though, like after this. There was more like cutaways this hallway.

Speaker 2 And if someone had pooped in that shower already, then I think that there would have been a lot more more commentary about it so someone's poop is just bad today we've just got someone with very someone just has bad poop yeah too many dates and now there's also really

Speaker 2 by the way and plus coming up we're gonna have a really damning moment i think with one of the guests uh for what they tell the the staff

Speaker 2 okay

Speaker 2 um now gail and joe were on the deck and um he's like oh we're going out tomorrow i wish we were going out tomorrow eh i mean it's looking all right and she's like say what's sitting here with you in v thing he's like oh i don't don't know it's just like a little boatman's she's well out of my comfort zone like she's not here she's ill which is very uncomfortable am i ready to take care of a sick person yet

Speaker 2 come on sir i guess this is where it happens and he's like oh do you know what you know what it is girl she's really giving me v's really giving me relationship vibes like i'm just not ready i'm like

Speaker 2 This was like your whole thing. Your whole thing is that she's changed you.
Your whole thing is that like she don't want to hurt her. You saw what path this was going down.

Speaker 2 In fact, I don't know if he has given relationship vibes. I think she's actually just reacted to the vibes you've given.
Her whole thing was, I just want to have fun.

Speaker 2 Cause then he was, because remember, he was the one saying things like, but you know, this has an expiry date. And she was like, whatever, let's have fun.

Speaker 2 He's like, but I've never felt something like this before. You've been the one who's been like feeding her line after line of like.
commitment bullshit. And she's now you've sold her a story.

Speaker 2 She's responded to it. She's embraced it.
Now she's like, okay, maybe this is going to be something more serious, and now you're gonna turn it against her.

Speaker 2 Like, she's the crazy one who came up with all this. You were the one who started it, yeah.
And I think you're right that she doesn't even feel the same way, like, she's not in love with him.

Speaker 2 He's just the kind of person that needs to tell everybody that people are in love with him, like, he needs that validation. So, Gail's like, Well, I'm no hero, but fuck me.

Speaker 2 I mean, how many people have you gotta hit? He's like, Cupid, but with a TNT at the end of his arrow, it's you.

Speaker 2 So, now it's time for the 80s party. And

Speaker 2 Josh is is talking about how he's into the 80s, but at heart, I love the 70s mole. I really

Speaker 2 try to recreate it with my own music. And this is when we see that Josh recorded a music video.
And

Speaker 2 it's fucking disturbing. Okay.
It's this clown. He's like, he's in the clown makeup doing this sort of like

Speaker 2 70s rock kind of oasis-y throwback music. And it's like, sir,

Speaker 2 what are you doing on this boat?

Speaker 2 i just love it like yeah i'm a 1970s wonder child child of the child of the earth that's what i do i just i just don't care about like the societal norms which is why i came onto a yacht to cook for rich people it's like this doesn't make sense courage the lyrics are love is blinding but i see you this time stop falling apart

Speaker 2 I'm falling apart because you're showing up at my house dressed like a clown, a sad clown.

Speaker 2 Yeah. That's why I'm falling apart.

Speaker 2 okay don't don't show up my house like that and then ask why the police were called it's not because i have emotional regulation problems it's because you're scary sir

Speaker 2 down in the guest quarters lady guest says what what did you do with my pantyhose joke and he's like why would i steal your pantyhose bitch why are you super nasty you know i'm your best friend i'm like sir you are like

Speaker 2 You're like 48 years old. Why are you talking like this?

Speaker 2 Yeah, so the girls are, you know, they're just getting ready and uh joe and nathan are wearing their wigs you know everybody's getting wacky 80s as they do on this show and joe starts whispering in kizzy's ear he's like do you feel bad oh fuck i did you feel bad can i make you feel better

Speaker 2 oh yeah so then um now now this is the moment that i thought was damning which is that um

Speaker 2 This guy tells,

Speaker 2 I don't know who he tells, maybe Kizzy or some, or maybe it's Kathy.

Speaker 2 he tell they're in the guest area in that hallway and he's like yeah by the way we don't want any service in our room whatsoever do not go in our room whatever you do do not go in here stay out of the room and then you're like

Speaker 2 that's weird you're on a

Speaker 2 different room I know, but okay, here's my theory. My theory is that they were doing drugs together in a room and we're like, don't interrupt us because we're doing drugs.
We're doing nothing.

Speaker 2 Oh, I see. Oh, so they did the Coke and they wanted to leave the Coke out.
So they said, don't clean our room. Or something.
But then the Coke made them poop in the other room.

Speaker 2 Well, because honestly, later on, we see which room is Joaquin's room because when they go to it, we see them walk down the hallway from the view of the camera, the stationary camera, the GoPro on the wall.

Speaker 2 There's like a staircase in like back, back there. come down the hallway you come towards the camera and then you make a left um meaning like a left from like

Speaker 2 the camera's point of view. And that's where the poop, the poop situation is.
And that's also where Joaquin's room, I think, winds up being.

Speaker 2 So like they definitely, it definitely happens in Joaquin's bathroom for sure. And so my theory is that they do illegal substances in the other guy's room.

Speaker 2 And yeah, and then Joaquin has a moment in his shower.

Speaker 2 The thing is that Joaquin should be more of a pro with drugs. I mean, Coke will make you poop the first few times, but like if you're, if you do a lot of Coke, you don't poop every time you do Coke.

Speaker 2 It's not like that.

Speaker 2 At least from my experience.

Speaker 2 Coke and dates. Coke and dates.
Maybe, maybe they were snorting dates up their buttholes and that did it. I don't know.
Yeah. But

Speaker 2 so, or he was probably getting, I just don't want to. It's so gross.
Like this whole thing is so gross. But maybe

Speaker 2 douching or something. I mean, I don't know.
Oh, he could have been douching. Yeah.
Actually, he could have been douching, right?

Speaker 2 But that's a lot to come out from from the douching and why do that in the shower you know like i don't know is that where you do it you do that on the toilet right i would yeah i would think it's all too much it's all too much for me but yeah it was joaquin so then it's cool joeing yeah no one knows it's joaquin

Speaker 2 yeah so it's basically they're making this big mystery but we know who it is and no one is surprised either by the way i'm sure there's no one in the audience surprised that it's this guy so um now

Speaker 2 kizzy goes down to the cabin while everybody's being served dinner and she's about to gag and now starts calling Kathy to come because she's found poop in the drain. And so she's like, what?

Speaker 2 Kathy's like, what's that smell? She's like, is it just me or is it like actual poo? And she goes, no, he's actually pooed in it. I mean, there's a piece of poo there.
Look at it.

Speaker 2 And then they fuzz out the poop, which I thought was so funny. I know.
And they're like, oh my God, he's had a shit in the shower. Are you fucking joking me?

Speaker 2 And Kathy's like, sorry, I'm running plates today. Have fun with this.
Bye.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I, um, this was already just,

Speaker 2 I was like, oh my God. I did love that it was Kizzy who had to find it.
Like, I felt like that was a nice bit of

Speaker 2 justice. You know,

Speaker 2 Kizzy had to do it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So Kathy's like, bye, bye, bye.

Speaker 2 So then Kizzy's like, old crew, old crew, there's poo in the shower. So then everyone's like,

Speaker 2 everyone's hearing it. And Josh is like, we have this like moment where Josh is in his clown makeup and he just goes, that's stinky.

Speaker 2 And I did actually laugh at that.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So we go to Kitty muttering to herself as she's Kitty, Kizzy, muttering to herself while she's dealing with this. And she's like, I can't even deal with this.
I mean, it smells like dog shit.

Speaker 2 Even worse, it's human shit. Yes.

Speaker 2 Oh, God. So

Speaker 2 then everyone's coming down to see now. Now, this is like the thing on the boat.
And everybody's like, oh, my God, it's so gross. And everyone's gagging.

Speaker 2 And then it keeps intercutting with the guests who are like, cheers. Yes.
We're so funny and hilarious on below deck, guys.

Speaker 2 Glad we all split this, you know, 40,000 bucks to party together on TV and look amazing like we are. And it just keeps cutting to these disgusting guests shit in the shower.
I know.

Speaker 2 And then Nathan's like.

Speaker 2 telling Joe, having a piss in the shower is questionable, but having a shit in the shower, bro, on a multi-million dollar yacht, and you're here for two nights, and you take a shit in the shower.

Speaker 2 And Josh is like, Um, hello, everyone, can we just focus on the food? Well, someone's saying something. I feel like there's someone in this kitchen, but I don't really see anyone.

Speaker 2 Like, no, there's no one been in this kitchen this entire season. Like, has there been someone cooking the food all this time? No, I'm pretty sure not.
I think we just have it delivered in.

Speaker 2 It's like, guys, I'm actually here. Can you please serve the food? Yeah, serve the damn food.
He's like, this poo is distracting the girls from taking the food out.

Speaker 2 So they're running more plates and um josh is uh he is explaining all the food and everything but meanwhile this like poop situation is continuing to fester and they're continuing to like try to figure it out so then here's gail's contribution gail is like what's going on what's happening i hear this a story and nathan's like one of the guests shot in the shower and she goes no no did they waffle stomp it and i was like waffle stomp it so i didn't know what that was

Speaker 2 he didn't know what that is did not know what it was so i looked that up

Speaker 2 was that a commonly known thing waffle stomp and why is it called waffle stomp so waffle stomp i looked it up it's a drain is in a pattern right the drain has a pattern like a waffle pattern usually this one had like swirly patterns i was looking at it but normally they have like a waffle pattern and so you stomp it down there it's like a waffle stomp so that means that People must poop in the shower enough that there's a term for how to mash something through the grate into the drain, right?

Speaker 2 You waffle stomp.

Speaker 2 So I guess people do this. People are pigs.
Okay. I've never had to waffle stomp in my life.
Okay. Yeah.
Like the fact that, like, also, like, why bring waffles into this? Why do that?

Speaker 2 Like, that's just not right. Like, waffles are.
Well, humans are notoriously disgusting.

Speaker 2 And that's why when there's someone too hot and like you're feeling insecure because someone's like super hot and you're like, oh my God, I'm too, that person's like too hot.

Speaker 2 I can't even be around them. Just picture them pooping in the shower and then waffle stomping it because they're humans.
You know, we're all gross. At the end of the day, we're all gross.

Speaker 2 So, um, I mean, we're not all waffle stompers, but you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 So then,

Speaker 2 yeah. So then everyone's laughing because it is kind of funny, but it just is the whole episode is just about this poop and running around with the poop.

Speaker 2 And then, and he didn't waffle stomp it, actually. It looks like he pooped in the shower, removed the cover, because we see the drain cover, and it's not a waffle.

Speaker 2 It's like, like I said, it's like the wave patterns. It reminds me of the cookie press that you talked about.
Yeah, I was about to say, this is the cookie press, it would be fine.

Speaker 2 If you said cookie press it, I'm like, okay, but don't waffle stomp it.

Speaker 2 They cookie press the poop, but they didn't cookie press it either because he took the drain lid off and then shoved it down and then put the drain lid back over it.

Speaker 2 And this was so, I mean, post-production had a field day with this because basically this is the big twist is that Kizzy is like, what's going on? And so she takes off the shower drain cover.

Speaker 2 And it's revealed that there is like a mass amount of poop that's been compacted into

Speaker 2 that shower drain. And so it's, and we, now we see a big pixelated blur.
It's like, oh, this is the mother lotus here. We thought it was like a little piece.

Speaker 2 No, it turns out, take off that shower drain, there's a giant

Speaker 2 accumulation of feces right there. And they do a smash cut to Josh with a plate.
of brown goopy eggplant. He goes, Misa grazed eggplant.
And it was like brown and shiny and wet.

Speaker 2 I was like, they are so rude. It was so structured.

Speaker 2 I was like, it reminded me of me, myself, and Irene when like Jim Carrey poops on someone's lawn and they immediately like smash cut to chocolate frozen yogurt coming out of a spigot. It's like,

Speaker 2 I was like,

Speaker 2 oh my God. The fact that they cut to that miso eggplant, the fact that he had, I was like, I was like, please, Josh.
Please don't serve anything brown that they can do the smash cut to.

Speaker 2 And of course he did and they did it.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And then cut to the poop and then cut to the lady being like, this is delicious.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And they kept going back and forth.
Oh my God.

Speaker 2 I was dying.

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Speaker 2 So Aisha's like, oh my God, they've pushy and toy a poo down there. You're going to have to put gloves on and grab it, Kizzy.

Speaker 2 And she's like, who does it? Who lets a shit fall out of their ass in the shower? We're in a place where the staff clean for you.

Speaker 2 And, like, why don't I lift up the drain cover, scoop it in there with my feet, pat it down, and put the cover back on? No one will know.

Speaker 2 And then they go to Joaquin at the table. Like, ha ha.

Speaker 2 I will say, I mean, I'm really sorry for you, Ronnie. I know this is like the episode from hell for you.

Speaker 2 I know you hate discussing this, but when I was a production assistant on the seminal NBC sitcom Three Sisters, starring Vicki Lewis and Diane Cannon and Catherine Lanasa, now of the pit.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 there was an incident where

Speaker 2 like there was like rat poop or something and someone had gathered it with paper towel and tried to flush it down a toilet in the production office and it clogged up and there was no plunger.

Speaker 2 So I just remember a supervisor said, Ben, you're going to have to pull out the rat poop. And I had to go in and put my hand into a toilet

Speaker 2 all the way in into the hole and pull out the paper towel with the rat poop in it. It was, I think that remains the most disgusting thing I ever did.
Yeah, it was pretty bad.

Speaker 2 That's why you were never invited to the three sisters' Christmas parties.

Speaker 2 That's why I was not in AJ Langer's scrapbook that she made of the entire cat, the entire crew, except for me. I'm like, I made the biggest sacrifice for all of you bitches.
All of you.

Speaker 2 I was elbow deep in a toilet pulling out rat poop, almost getting rabies i'm not gonna i'm not gonna put a scrap i'm not gonna put that guy in the scrap button that was a rat poop let's just all rip out the the uh rap poop page from the scrap that was such a weird ass show i it was very everyone there was super nice you know even even honestly even the supervisor she was really nice her name was corey but like um

Speaker 2 that was a traumatic experience also traumatic was that at that time i don't know if they still are dating but like vicki lewis was dating nick nulty and he came to the series finale in a bathrobe he's wearing pajamas in a bathroom and just was walking around backstage His hair was like out to here.

Speaker 2 Weirdo. Walking around a

Speaker 2 weirdest, this weirdest ass, like this minor show in NBC that I feel like have so many stories from. Love it.

Speaker 2 Okay. So Aisha says she'll do it for her.
Wuss. No, make Kizzy do it.
The audience wants Kizzy to do this, not you.

Speaker 2 So she does it. And then

Speaker 2 let's see. So it's, it's gross.
I mean, how much do we need to talk about it? It goes on for a long time. It's worse than you can imagine.
Yeah. And you know what?

Speaker 2 I have to say, like, Aisha, you know, I mean, she does the whole thing where she's like, you know, I used to love pee.

Speaker 2 And we see a flashback to the famous scene where she was like, I once was, when I was younger, I really wanted to know how pee works. So I stuck my finger up my bum and touched the pee.

Speaker 2 But now she's like, yeah,

Speaker 2 I'm older and not so into it anymore. But, you know, she's a pro.
She puts on those gloves. She's and she's and she's not only pro.

Speaker 2 She's considerate because Kizzy is a monster and she should have made Kizzy do it, like you said, but she did it. Aisha was like, I'm the boss here.
I will take over. And she goes and

Speaker 2 she pulled out that poop. She went elbow deep, much like me with the toilet.

Speaker 2 So now Nathan and Joe are in their cabin. All the guests are going to bed.
So Nathan's talking about how he likes Gail so much and he wants to go see her. And Joe's just grossed out.

Speaker 2 And then he goes into Gail's cabin to see her and they cuddle up and he's whispering to her. So he's not on camera, but he is.
And he's like, Oh, I know it's crazy, but I need you honestly.

Speaker 2 It's like, you can't say that, you can't say it.

Speaker 2 And she's telling us that there were definitely cons and coming, and this was one. And she doesn't want to upset him, but it hurts her heart.

Speaker 2 I do want to believe him, but I still don't think it's right. Because if I'm honest, like, it's been an emotionally tough year.

Speaker 2 And to step back into something, that would be like that would be a big risk.

Speaker 2 And yeah, don't do it. Don't do it.
And I know you, you had a baby, but god damn it.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 yeah, don't do it. Don't do it.
So then Kathy comes in and ruins the party. What more sign do you need? You come on the boat and there's shit in a drain.
Like God is trying to tell you something.

Speaker 2 Look at the signs. They're there.

Speaker 2 They are there.

Speaker 2 So we find out Josh is talking to Kizzy and Josh is like, so is it V's birthday? And she goes, yeah, it is.

Speaker 2 And then we cut to Joe in his bunk, who clearly doesn't remember this because he's a fucking idiot. And V is texting him and saying, hey, how's everything going? I'm missing everyone.

Speaker 2 And he's like, oh, shit, what do I write? Why do I write? Okay.

Speaker 2 All is well. Feel better.

Speaker 2 I mean, it's her birthday. She has made the whole plot line about her birthday.
Her birthday is today. Her boyfriend died today on her birthday.

Speaker 2 The whole show has been about this. How do you not know? How do you not say happy birthday? How is it like that? It's the evening.

Speaker 2 See, I thought the birthday was the next day but i guess it was it was that day but how do you get all the way to the evening and you haven't said happy birthday to the girl you're banging like the who also is suffering like a major traumatic like anniversary today you don't even say happy birthday that is like so shitty that is so so shitty you know and she has to be the one to fish for the happy birthday she has to be the one to text say how's everything going missing everyone you know and um and then kizzy's like shame bit shit to be spending it ill, isn't it?

Speaker 2 And the fact that her fucking boyfriend died today is like, Well, you know, which way how you can make it better is that you can wish her happy birthday. You can do that, you know?

Speaker 2 So then Joe texts her and he's like, trying to jump her boyfriend's bones. Yeah.
While she's gone sick. And then he goes, Well, all is well.
We miss you. Feel better.

Speaker 2 He doesn't say, like, how are you feeling? Are you feeling better? How is the day going for you? He doesn't, he's not even like inquisitive. It is like a brush off.
We miss you, feel better.

Speaker 2 Ooh, i would be mad i'd be like this guy

Speaker 2 yeah so then um now there's clouds and sandy's like oh geez you know i really don't like to spin off

Speaker 2 oh geez i guess i'll watch it there's nothing else on so it's time to leave the doc i just want to sorry i want to say something i forgot it was the next morning so it wasn't the whole evening so i take i take that back i feel it's not that joe went the whole day and then texted at night.

Speaker 2 This was the morning, but still fuck him.

Speaker 2 He still should have been more inquisitive. He still should have been like, happy birthday.
How's, how are you feeling today? How is the morning going? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So now it's time to leave the dock. And

Speaker 2 Max has no idea where he's supposed to be, of course. And so Gail is asking him, are you normally on the stern? And he's like, oh, he switched me last time.
So I don't know. What do I know?

Speaker 2 Revolution.

Speaker 2 Time to drop some lines. Okay, time to go, time to go, time to go.
And the water and churning waves and the boat is going. And Sandy's like, yeah, driving a boat.
Pretty cool.

Speaker 2 So then V texts Kizzy because like everyone's ignoring V and she's like, she's like, hey, girl, missing you has the charter. I'm just here in my hotel room celebrating a certain day of the year.

Speaker 2 I won't, don't want to say what it is, but if you know what it is, you could say something. So Kizzy's like, oh, it's so, it's so good, but it's not, obviously not the same to you, hugs and kisses.

Speaker 2 But then she like erases the kisses part.

Speaker 2 That was funny. She's like, too much.
Too much.

Speaker 2 So they're going to have a beach picnic at this lighthouse. And

Speaker 2 so it's five minutes to Anchorage. And Gail goes to talk to Sandy.
And she's just in such shock that she's here. I can't believe I'm in Barcelona.

Speaker 2 And she talks about how she took the master of yachts in Indonesia, learned so much. You should see me put together an IKEA shelf.
She's like, God, that's my girl.

Speaker 2 This girl is going to run an IKEA boat one day. I guarantee it.
Wow. No.
She came back a badass.

Speaker 2 She knows her way around in Alan Rynch, which, by the way, is the name of our first engineer, Alan Rynch. So the difference between Gail from last season and this season is that she's a year older.

Speaker 2 It's just awesome, you know? And if she continues these terms. She's literally longer, too.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 God, she was thinking inch.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Also, all this time I thought it was G-A-I-L.
G-A-E-L. And then when I learned it was G-A-E-L, I thought it was a typo from G-A-L-E.
But it it turns out it's G-A-E-L.

Speaker 2 There's so many layers to her. God bless her.
It's completely changing.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 they're deciding who's going to go on the picnic. So Kizzy's going to go.
And then we cut to Carlin, who's the guest in the room with Joaquin, right? And she's like, I'm going to go to the bathroom.

Speaker 2 I'm having diarrhea. Don, dun, dun, there's a clue.
There's a clue. Someone has to poop.

Speaker 2 Except she's speaking with intention of using a toilet. Like, I don't, I don't think

Speaker 2 I don't think.

Speaker 2 I just mean it's a clue as this show, because they're trying to figure out who every time somebody says anything about pooping, they're putting it in the show now, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, they tried to do a whole thing. They tried to do a whole bit where Aisha was doing like a, it could be this person, it could be that person, it could be this person or that person.

Speaker 2 And what's funny is that she names everyone as a suspect except for Joaquin.

Speaker 2 In fact, she suggests that Joaquin gets framed. So I feel like in the omission is the admission because I think that was the producer's way of being like, okay, we're going to be kind.

Speaker 2 We are not going to call out the guest that came on this boat, but we're actually going to call him out by not including him as the suspect.

Speaker 2 Also, we're going to show that he is actually changing in the room where the poop was. So it's pretty obvious that that was his room where he was showering.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so Nathan wants to go on the picnic because Gail, no, he doesn't want to go on the picnic because Gail's not going. So he sends Joe and Max instead so that he can spend time with Gail.

Speaker 2 And Max has already gone to a shit. He's like, oh, this is ballsy.
I'm tired. Gail is new, fresh, new crew member, full of energy.

Speaker 2 But he did just and me because he wants to stay on the boat with Gail.

Speaker 2 And Nathan's like, I did it because I want to spend time with Gail.

Speaker 2 It's not even really ideal. This is not professional.
Well, it's Nathan. I mean, Nathan has never been professional.
Yeah, I don't know

Speaker 2 how legitimate it is to be like, oh, well, Gail's fresh. So she sent her on the picnic because Max is kind of lazy.

Speaker 2 So he's always saying he's tired but i do think it's shitty that you're going to keep someone on the boat purely because you're like in love with them like i think you kind of have to be professional and you have to just like not lead like that because that's going to cause resentment amongst your crew yeah

Speaker 2 um so then max goes and complains to joe and joe's like well yeah right you do have something valid there

Speaker 2 and um

Speaker 2 Max is like, oh, he went really low on my standard of someone I respect because as he has just thought of him, only him.

Speaker 2 So then Nathan's saying, Well, basically, I have a limited amount of time with this girl and I'm going to stay with her because I'm in love. Like, who cares about my job? And

Speaker 2 by the way, you could have had five more days with her. I hate to break it to you.
You could have had five more days with her.

Speaker 2 It's only limited because of you and your actions.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So he's like, Ah, Gamble, I only have a limited amount of time, except that I ghosted her.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So Max, Max goes, and Nathan and Gail get the water toys ready. Joaquina's awake, guys.
Will he poop on somebody? We don't know yet, but we're wondering.

Speaker 2 It's like Hansel and Gretel just follow the trail of peep to see where he is.

Speaker 2 So then Max is

Speaker 2 talking to Joe. And because they're doing this, the picnic setup.
And Max is like, oh, well, you tell me what is happening. So Joe's like, I'll let you into a little secret.

Speaker 2 I kissed kizzy he's like no he's like but when i was drunk though yeah it came out of left field we were not flirting at all that entire day or the day before that or the whole charter but i'm gonna have to have the conversation now with victoria i'm gonna tell her because i'm a man and i don't have nothing

Speaker 2 i'm like well

Speaker 2 but you've told every single other person but her at this point

Speaker 2 Oh, les probleme.

Speaker 2 I just don't want to hurt her because it's only a drunken kiss at the end of the day, you know.

Speaker 2 Okay, keep telling yourself that. So now

Speaker 2 we go back to the boat and Queenie's going on the big slide. I guess they call him Queenie.
Joaquin, they call him Queenie. Oh, Queenie.
So, yeah.

Speaker 2 So whatever. Kathy is talking to her mom and she, there's an emergency.
She gets an emergency call from her mom. And she said,

Speaker 2 she says, Richard's girlfriend came around and said that he's gone. And is this her stepfather, Richie?

Speaker 2 So, I think what she winds up saying is that Richard was her mom's partner after her parents split up. Richard was her mom's partner for like 15 years.

Speaker 2 And so, he basically was, I think he came into the picture when she was two. He basically raised her.
And so, it's basically like a father figure for her. So, she just starts to cry.

Speaker 2 And everyone sees it's what's happening. And Asha's trying to console her, but she goes down to her room.
And then,

Speaker 2 you know, Asha tells Captain Sandy ultimately. So, Captain Sandy goes down there and like sits with her.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 it's like very, you're like, oh, like when these things happen on reality TV, it's very gutting because it's very, very real. And so she's sitting there sobbing.

Speaker 2 And the one thing that I thought was amusing in this was that, you know, Kathy's like, she's crying and she's like, yes, I'm here. And like, they're taking care of me.

Speaker 2 And Captain Sandy is here with me. And Captain Sandy leans in and waves like, hi.
It's television's Captain Sandy. Television's Captain Sandy.
Hey. It's like a free cameo you're getting right now.

Speaker 2 Congratulations. Yeah, I'm here.

Speaker 2 I don't know if you need help getting through this, but I do women empowerment seminars. You know, you should look into them.
CaptainSandySeminars.com. Okay.
Be a boss, bitch. Okay.

Speaker 2 Don't just be a bitch. Be a boss, bitch.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I thought little bear was on camera. My bad.
Sorry, I didn't realize it was your mom. Okay.

Speaker 2 You know what? I'd love to send you condolences right now, but

Speaker 2 there's no way to get you flowers. So I'm going to give you 20% off the bad bitch seminar.
Okay. Come sign up.
Captain Sandy. Yeah.
Hi.

Speaker 2 If you need me to record a wind for you tonight, I'll do that and I can send you the VHS. Okay.
Get back to your conversation.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, Kathy. You know, something I like to, I like to tell myself when situations like this happen:

Speaker 2 these are the colors of the wind.

Speaker 2 These are the colors of the wind. You know what? There's no me in Pocahontas.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Have you honestly, though, have you ever seen Little Bear cry at the Blue Corn Moon? It's adorable.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 yeah, it's really sad. And

Speaker 2 Kathy is crying, and Sandy is consoling her, and Aisha's there consoling her. And then this, like, very dramatic to be continued, sort of like comes at us.

Speaker 2 And I was like, damn, for an episode that was all about

Speaker 2 this poop. poop in the drain and this this this guy flouncing around the boat boat for it to end on this very somber and sobering note was totally unexpected, but yeah, very sad.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 yeah, poor Kathy. Poor Kathy.
God, God, they're like, Merry Christmas, everyone. Like, okay, everyone, it's Christmas is just a few days away.
Time to have a very Merry Below Deck episode.

Speaker 2 Someone fills the drain with poop and someone dies. Yeah, it's okay.

Speaker 2 Thanks, Bravo. Hug your loved ones.

Speaker 2 Gather around the Christmas tree.

Speaker 2 Wow. Well, thanks, Robs.

Speaker 2 Well, this has been a great year for us here at Watch What Crappens. We've had an amazing time with you guys, talking to you, getting to meet so many of you during the year.

Speaker 2 Thanks so much for being here with us and supporting us and letting us do this for a living because

Speaker 2 I don't think I could have asked for anything more fun than sitting here and talking to Ben every day and laughing with you guys.

Speaker 2 I can't believe we're ending our year talking about defecation. And that's it.

Speaker 2 But like, honestly,

Speaker 2 the big shit show. It is truly a shit show.
I was just looking at, I was going through pictures last night from the year because I was like going to write something about on my sub stack about food.

Speaker 2 And I was like, oh yeah, like our tour was this year. And we saw a bunch of you guys earlier this year.
And really thank you for coming out to our shows and seeing us.

Speaker 2 And it really was, this was, I think, a banner year for us. If I really have to say so.
Like this, I would say this is probably the best year that we've ever had as a podcast. It's been so much fun.

Speaker 2 And when is our birthday

Speaker 2 january january we turned 14 on i have it written down something like i thought it was the end of december so no it's in it's in jan i think it's like january where is it so we're about to turn 14 january 25th i have in january i have two things written down shade's birthday january 16th and crapman's anniversary january 25th

Speaker 2 yeah so there you go so we're about to be 14 and we're switching networks where next time you hear us uh well we'll have episodes we're not going to stop putting out episodes, but next time we're back live-ish with you is going to be, we're going to be at a new network.

Speaker 2 We will be back with ACAST. So we're leaving Wondry.
So thanks to Wondry and everybody over there who's given us such a great time. We've had a really good time with you.
They were wonderful to us.

Speaker 2 Wonderful. And we're also extremely excited to be back with ACAST, who we were with a while back.
So

Speaker 2 yeah, exciting. But what was fun?

Speaker 2 I don't know why I'm telling you guys all that. You probably don't really even care about.

Speaker 2 What I was trying to say, though, before was just that, like, you know, the year began with the crappies, and it was, that was like the best crappies we ever had. Like, that was absolutely insane.

Speaker 2 That, that, that show. We were on Watch What Happens Live, and that was just like in January, and it just felt like it just kept on going up from there.

Speaker 2 So, starting that way, and then we had our whole tour, and then we had Bravo Con. And then now we have this poop in a pipe episode.

Speaker 2 It really was like, it actually really was an amazing, it was really an amazing year of growth for us and and getting to see everyone and uh like really thanks for everyone who's like i can't believe that that like like approaching 14 years that like this is where the podcast is at it's really amazing

Speaker 2 yeah well we're lucky we appreciate you guys and we love you guys have an amazing new year we'll talk to you next time bye everyone

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