#3054 Below Deck Med S10E05 Part 1: Double Dumped and Vegan Slumped

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Speaker 3 Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens? I'm Ronnie and that's the gorgeous Ben over there. Hello, Ben.

Speaker 2 Hi, Ronnie. How's it going?

Speaker 3 Good. How's tricks?

Speaker 2 Tricks are good. Tricks are very good.
Just, it's my last morning here in New Orleans. I'm very sad.
I'm getting out, getting on a plane right after this.

Speaker 2 But,

Speaker 2 you know, I'm happy to get to talk some blow-deck med with you before any of that happens.

Speaker 3 Yeah, poor vegans. Vegans just

Speaker 3 really get the brunt end of the stick on this one. Sorry, vegans.
People don't hate you enough. So we're going to add this episode in.

Speaker 2 I felt so bad for vegans. I was like, vegans have made such strides over the past 30 years.
I remember in the 90s when I think I first became aware of veganism, which of course predates the 90s.

Speaker 2 But you know, when I remember first learning about veganism and it was like such a hippie thing.

Speaker 2 It was sprouts and weird and sprouts and beans and like that was it and weird strange versions of non-vegan things like a like a seitan Reuben from Real Food Daily, Real Foods Daily on La Cienega, which was I learned about in 2000.

Speaker 2 But like either way, it was like this crazy, crazy hippie food that you had to like live an extreme lifestyle for.

Speaker 2 And now it's become so much more mainstreamed and so inventive and it's like really being viewed as its own cuisine.

Speaker 2 And then, and, and now this guy comes along and is like, makes vegan seem like pushy, obnoxious.

Speaker 2 demanding,

Speaker 3 picky, like more, honestly, more.

Speaker 3 I've never seen a vegan who's like, yeah, no salads. Fresh greens, disgusting.
How dare you? I'm a vegan. Like, really?

Speaker 3 Fucking

Speaker 3 dude.

Speaker 2 I think, like, one thing that we've definitely noticed, like, on top chef and on this show is that sometimes chefs are so chefy that when someone says, hey, I'm a vegetarian or I'm vegan, they literally don't know what to do.

Speaker 3 And they're like, oh, I don't know.

Speaker 2 Like, here's some iceberg lettuce, you know? And it's like, okay, well, you know, vegans are entitled to have some food that's like inventive and

Speaker 2 some effort is put into it. But this guy, when he's like, I mean, I mean, this is vegan, but it's like all starches.
Like, it's not nutritious. Like, I need some minerals.

Speaker 2 It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not part of it.

Speaker 2 The chef is not responsible for your general wellness. The chef is responsible for putting together a meal that tastes good.
It's up to you to find the balance in your life.

Speaker 2 Like, you take some supplements, some vitamins. I don't go to a steakhouse and need to eat some steak and then say, well, this steak is, it's fine, but I'm not feeling this is a well-balanced meal.

Speaker 2 I need some, I need some salads to go along with this. Like, no, no, you like, that's on you.
That's not on the chef.

Speaker 3 Like, who says, as a, as a criticism of dinner, where are my minerals?

Speaker 3 Yeah. I've literally never heard that.

Speaker 2 Where are my greens? And I don't mean salad. I mean, like, where are my hearty greens? It's like, well, where was it on your preference sheet?

Speaker 3 Salad are greens.

Speaker 3 Salad are literally greens. And then he was serving big plates of vegetables too.
And he's like, no, not those kind.

Speaker 3 Oh my God. I can't.
You know, some, I think some people just choose whatever it is, veganism or whatever the little

Speaker 3 niche is, to just have that control over people,

Speaker 3 that like,

Speaker 3 you have to make everything special for me and my entire family.

Speaker 3 You know, and obviously not everybody's like that, but there are those people that just need control and attention who will use any little thing to just jump on.

Speaker 3 And this guy is definitely one of those people.

Speaker 2 And these were like, actually, like, by and large, as a group, these were generally picky eaters, but they were like nicely picky. They were like, oh, you know what?

Speaker 2 Could you fry these oysters instead? You know, but like, but this guy was just like, no, I'm going to have a little paratrip with my vegan food and I'm going to complain the entire time.

Speaker 2 And on top of that, it's like, I'm going to be the one to have a more difficult diet. And then I'm going to complain the most and make it even more demanding than it already is.

Speaker 2 And like, that's, of course, the reputation that the vegans already have, whether it's, like, whether it's, you know, valid or not. That is a reputation.

Speaker 2 And he just really kind of, like anyone who already was like, stupid vegans, you know, they're definitely not getting a revision of their opinions based on this guy.

Speaker 3 Well, I guess to make it fair, at least the non-vegans are assholes too, because I don't agree that that just, oh, go fry these oysters. Like that's not a

Speaker 3 request.

Speaker 2 That's a bullish request. No, I know it was definitely a request.

Speaker 3 You don't just go like fry up an oyster. Like it takes batter.
It takes oil. You know, it takes a lot of stuff that's not already prepared.

Speaker 2 Like to sit down at a dinner and be like, no, you need to fry those oysters instead, like he should have known known is just gross i think they're just gross those are gross well i mean i don't think i would be mortified if someone served me like raw oysters and i was like can you can you fry these instead like i'd be mortified to make that request but i'm saying that like they made their requests but then they once they got their requests They were generally, well, I don't know.

Speaker 2 I got to read the notes again. Maybe I'm like blocking it out.
Maybe I'm just so mad at this vegan that I'm like just automatically making the other people seem nicer.

Speaker 2 But I feel like once they got their request, they were, they just, then they ate their food. They were like, I got my request.
But this guy was just like, nothing was satisfying to him.

Speaker 2 And I think that he was, and again, he wasn't the primary. What a shock.
He was the friend that was brought along and is on a power trip.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Well, here we go.
Below deck med season. Oh, well, before we get into that, if you want these on video, crap and on demand, that's also where you get our bonus episodes.

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Speaker 3 That's where we talk to you, talk about Bravo headlines, et cetera, et cetera. Okay, so let's get into this.
This is Below Deck Med Season 10, Episode 5. Let the games begin.

Speaker 3 So Nathan and Sandy are on the bridge talking, and Sandy is like, okay, here's your big choice. We got dumb-dumb and dumb-dumb.
So which one do you want to get rid of?

Speaker 3 The dumb dumb with terrible hair or the dumb dumb with the big eyes who thinks everyone's giving him his number?

Speaker 3 Choose. Well, choose.
This is your choice as a leader, Nathan.

Speaker 2 Well, it's necessary for the whole operation of the boat and the safety of the guests that we get rid of Tessa and Christian. She's like, whoa.

Speaker 2 That's half your team. I mean,

Speaker 2 that's like saying, hey, I want to take your pants and want to cut off the part right between the ankle and the shin. But now that I say that, that's kind of a great idea.
Okay, let's go for it.

Speaker 3 All right, cut it off.

Speaker 3 So, I haven't done something this bold since I had Malia frame hand and uh.

Speaker 2 I can see Max getting frustrated with Christian and Tassa, but he's also trying to remain positive. And then I'm getting frustrated as well because it's just not good enough.

Speaker 2 She's like, Okay, I love this. You're such a good leader.
This is leader, these are leader choices. Yeah, and if I had time to train them up, I would, but I feel like they're miles off of it.
Like,

Speaker 2 I have a question. When these things happen, why

Speaker 2 I know that people are like entitled to their off time and their leisure time, but when it's in between charters, why isn't there a sense of like, you guys didn't earn your downtime tonight?

Speaker 2 Like we are going to, tonight, we are going to be going over the knots and this and that. Like, why can't there be punishment, right?

Speaker 2 Or is it just like an anti-is that like a not, is that like an employment issue?

Speaker 3 This is why unions were invented, Ben.

Speaker 2 Like, doesn't it feel like it should be kind of like, you guys fucked up. So therefore, you're not allowed to go party tonight.
We're gonna have dinner. We're gonna be coming right back.

Speaker 2 We're gonna have dinner and then come back and we're gonna work on knots all night long. Like, is that

Speaker 3 a whole job where you kind of have to know what you're doing? Like, they need to hire people who know what they're doing.

Speaker 3 They can't just be hiring people on Instagram, which is kind of how Belodeck has been running the past few seasons. It's like, let's just hire hot people from Instagram who will fuck each other a lot.

Speaker 3 And, like, they also have to know how to, you know, tie knots and, you know, drive boats. So, um,

Speaker 3 they should start there so she's like wow what a leader fire everybody yeah let's do it no one gets their snap benefits this month leader so um she's like as a first-time bosun you know making this call it's very difficult but i'm gonna trust it because it's nathan you know and if you got monk hair you should treat him like a monk and i trust monks so not monkeys oh god monkeys are crazy Those things will steal a banana right out of your hand, won't they?

Speaker 3 They're cute, but don't trust them. I'm telling you that right now.
What was I talking about? Yeah, well, I've witnessed Nathan. He's been educating his team.

Speaker 3 I really like that class he gave where he stood on the edge of the boat and went, oh no, oh no, oh no, over and over again. That was a really great TED Talk.

Speaker 3 But you know, we need some people who can understand direction. And that's not happening with Tessa and Christian, okay?

Speaker 3 One of them's like a mop with a wig on, and the other one, God, I don't even know about him, but I think I saw him hitting on a dolphin.

Speaker 2 I feel like we never saw a scene of Nathan being like, you guys need to get your shit together. I'm sick of saying this to you.
Okay. Like, Tessa, you're just standing around doing nothing.

Speaker 2 You're not refueling.

Speaker 2 We're going to go through this all. But instead, it's like Sandy's like, I've been seeing you talking to them.
I've been seeing you teaching them.

Speaker 2 And like, what we'll see is Nathan saying to Tessa, Tessa, don't forget to refuel elect next time. Okay, Tessa.
It's like a, which should be enough, by the way.

Speaker 2 And I'm not saying that Tessa and Christian shouldn't be fired because they are two dum-dums, but I'm also like, I think that like maybe Nathan could step up a little bit in terms of, you know, urgency in, in, in teaching, et cetera.

Speaker 3 But Nathan wasn't really ready to step up. You know, it's like the below deck thing where they

Speaker 3 think the audience wants, and I think that they're right, that the audience wants to see people move up and excel, right? Like you want to see someone like, wow, now Asia's Chiefs do.

Speaker 3 Like that was really cool. You know, we want those moments, but they have to to be kind of earned moments.
And they've got a lot of unearned moments.

Speaker 3 Like the Fraser, I think was kind of an unearned one. And Fraser saw him.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And then we see Nathan, which is kind of unearned.
It's like, well, he was a happy-go-lucky fun guy. Let's just make him the bosun next time.
And I don't think he was ready. For it.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, I think this isn't just Tessa and Christian. It's also Nathan and then Max.

Speaker 3 I mean, on any other season, Max would have been the biggest disaster because of his attitude and his screaming and losing it and trying bossing everybody around.

Speaker 3 And the fact that Max is like looked at as this great employee is hilarious. And that really goes to show where this season's at.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly. I mean, I think that Nathan, in many ways, is very good.
You know, I mentioned, I think, last episode that I was impressed with how calm he remained while Max was losing his mind. But

Speaker 2 he, like, there are times when it's good to sort of like add a little bit of fire to your voice. So Sandy is like, you know, times like this is, it's never easy.
Okay. Oh, by the way, okay.
So, hey,

Speaker 2 dum-dums to the

Speaker 2 bridge. We'll start with Christian.
Okay.

Speaker 2 All those who are going to still have a job in an hour,

Speaker 2 step forward. Not so fast, Christian.
So times like this is never easy for me, okay, ever. But safety is non-negotiable.
It's number one. We all know that.

Speaker 2 So at this point, Christian, I'm letting you go.

Speaker 2 And it looks like you've already let yourself go. How did he wound up floating out into the water already onto that jet ski? Wow.
He just sort of

Speaker 3 kind of,

Speaker 2 that was pretty easy. When I said I'm going to let you go, I didn't really mean literally, but I guess you're already out there in the water.
So good luck to you, sir.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And he's like, whoa, thanks so much.
Great being here. She's like, yeah.
Well, you know, it's just safety because you're great. I don't want you to think you're bad because you're great.

Speaker 3 I'm firing a great person today. A great person is going home.
You are a very hard winker, worker, worker. Did I say winker? Sorry.
It's my inside voice. You're a very hard worker, winker.

Speaker 3 So get out of here, skid adult, and do great, do, do great, mediocre work somewhere else. They're gonna love you.

Speaker 2 God, you could tell.

Speaker 3 Let one go, but but someone else has gained someone mediocre. Tell you that

Speaker 2 he's totally happy with this decision. He's like, oh, thanks so much.
It was wonderful. Really great honor.
Like, that's that's when he was like, please, please fire me.

Speaker 2 I don't want to be here anymore, but I also don't want to be a quitter. So he was thrilled.
He literally was like, bye.

Speaker 2 So then,

Speaker 2 you know, next is like, okay, Tessa, Tessa,

Speaker 2 make your way up to Captain's quarters.

Speaker 2 I'd like to meet you, by the way. I don't think I've met you yet so far.
So first of all, I just want to say hello. Second of all, just say,

Speaker 2 you know, it's hard. It's hard, Tessa.
But,

Speaker 2 you know, from what I've observed and speaking with Nathan, it's completely chaotic. Your hair.
I can't tell if I like it better down or up. It looks crazy in both ways.
How did you do that?

Speaker 3 You just use so much hairspray. And for that reason, I got to let you go.
Okay. Get out of here, dead eyes.
And

Speaker 3 she's like,

Speaker 3 so, you know, got to make a change.

Speaker 3 So get out. You know, and I know you come from a big boat.
Your family's a family of catamarans,

Speaker 3 a catamaran, which is great, you know. But on this boat, you're more like a cantamaran.
Okay. And I don't know how to drive those.
So I'm going to need you to just get out of here. okay?

Speaker 3 I also didn't love that picture of you on the four-wheel or covered in mud while you're wearing a bikini, that just seems unsafe for the road.

Speaker 3 So, I know this isn't a road, but because of your behavior as a teenager, I've got to let you go.

Speaker 2 Bye. Oh, and one last thing: Santa Claus is real, so go fuck off.

Speaker 3 She's like, I can't believe this. This is unbelievable.
Well, thank you for the chance, but I'm excited to go back to the boys. I miss the boys on my farm.

Speaker 3 Wait, I can't believe I had all this time with him because, like, fuck her, because I don't really need her help. I just need the boys.
I just need those McBay boys.

Speaker 3 It's so, so amazing watching them grow up so quickly. Some say love.

Speaker 3 It is a blessing when you're having a sailor dressing.

Speaker 3 Sandy, I want to say one more thing before I go. You are the wind beneath my.
Okay, get out of here, Tessa. Okay, with your shitty little wedding band.

Speaker 3 Go back to Gallatin or whatever the fuck that place is called. Gelatin, I don't know.
Get out.

Speaker 2 Based on her face, I thought that for sure she'd be Australian, so it's surprising that she had that Missouri accent. Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay, well, guess what? Uh, now we uh know that down to deckhands. What could possibly happen? Okay,

Speaker 2 oh man, what a what a funny twist. But uh, let me hold on one second, uh, Nathan.
You're gonna have to leave the room about to do some serious texting here, okay?

Speaker 3 Bloop.

Speaker 2 Hey, Norma, I'm in a pinch, sort of like your belt says to you every day, huh? I need two deckhands in Barcelona. Do you have anyone available?

Speaker 3 Bloop. Bloop.
Oh, hey there, Sandy. Wow.
Speaking of pinching,

Speaker 3 I knew you were going to call because I felt a pinched nerve in my neck. Really hurt.
So glad to see the pain's on the phone. Hi, good to see you.
Good to talk to you.

Speaker 3 Thanks for the sweet hello before you started asking me for shit.

Speaker 3 You know, it would be nice to have one season where you were just capable of doing some hiring on your own without relying on me within the first week. Bloop.

Speaker 2 Bloop. Speaking of pinches, I guess you really had a pinch-me moment where for the first time in 17 years, someone actually responded to one of your personal ads, huh?

Speaker 3 Congratulations. Bloop.

Speaker 3 Bloop. Yeah, hope you're happy with that wife who's probably pinching your wallet.
Okay. I've never heard a one-year wonder saying bb so much over tech.
So that sounds real realistic. Okay.

Speaker 3 Good luck with your rent-a-bride. Okay.
Bloop.

Speaker 2 Bloop. Oh, by the way, I just got a text from Olive Garden.
They wanted me to tell you that next time,

Speaker 2 when you ask for a pinch of butter, that doesn't mean a a whole stick. And they didn't appreciate you yelling at the waiters like that.

Speaker 4 Okay, thank you.

Speaker 3 Bloop.

Speaker 3 Bloop. Speaking of olive garden, they called and they want their uniform pants back.
Okay, polyester, polyester, poly. Jeez.
Bloop.

Speaker 2 Bloop.

Speaker 2 Talk about uniform.

Speaker 2 More like

Speaker 2 you don't form any sexual experiences anymore. Am I right? Bloop.

Speaker 3 Bloop.

Speaker 3 You know what? Thankfully, I don't need sexual experiences because I've got my hands. Unfortunately, you don't have any hands.
Deckhands, that is. So maybe I should watch your lip until I get you one.

Speaker 3 Loop.

Speaker 3 Bloop.

Speaker 2 That's fair. That's fair.
Okay, just find me a deckhand, okay?

Speaker 2 If you want, you can finish that bowl of mac and cheese before you get out there looking.

Speaker 4 Okay, thanks.

Speaker 3 Oh, so you need two deckhands. Okay, wow.
Wow, you're doubling competent this season. It's glad to see they're up in the game over there at Bravo.
Loop.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm only as competent as the idiots you send me along, but I can understand if you couldn't quite read their CVs after you spilled all that marinara sauce all over them.

Speaker 3 Okay, bloop.

Speaker 3 Okay, well, I'll just be on OnlyFans trying to find people with boobs big enough to entertain the masses and run a boat. No problem.
Bloop.

Speaker 2 Bloop.

Speaker 2 Well, let's not try to ruin the OnlyFans brand by logging on their normal. Okay, all right.

Speaker 3 Thank you. Bloop.

Speaker 3 Bloop. This is Ellie.
How dare you come for my OnlyFans account? Unbelievable. Bloop.

Speaker 3 This is Bri. This is Bri.
I don't know. Where have I put the OnlyFans?

Speaker 2 I can't find my OnlyFans account.

Speaker 3 Okay, I quit. Just find me.

Speaker 3 Could you also look for a new captain? I can't text anymore. Bloop.
Wins on. Bloop.

Speaker 2 This is the act consequences of my actions. Bloop.
Yeah, Jesse. You're not even on this franchise.

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Speaker 3 All right, so now we cut to Nathan and Max, and

Speaker 3 Nathan tells him that they've been fired, and Max is like, wow!

Speaker 3 Oh, okay, let's go, let's work. Fockeat, this is amazing.
You're best captain ever. Like firing two person, because, you know, with them, we would have sunk your boat.

Speaker 2 So Max is so happy about this. So

Speaker 2 he runs down and tells Kizzy.

Speaker 3 And she's like, what?

Speaker 2 He's like oh, we just lose two crew members.

Speaker 3 Christian? Eh?

Speaker 3 Tess?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Oh, no. Oh, no.

Speaker 2 I have to pretend like I've actually had some sort of relationship with Tess. So Kizzy, who I don't think any, I don't think anyone's talked to Tessa

Speaker 2 this entire season, she runs down to Tess and she's like, are you fucking joking me?

Speaker 3 Are you joking me?

Speaker 2 This is terrible. I can't have someone who's less hot than me leave this boat because you totally make me seem hotter.
Now what am I going to do?

Speaker 3 She said she wasn't happy with me, so she showed me the dribble door. And now V comes downstairs because she's heard all this stuff.
And Josh is just waking up, you know, with a clown nose on.

Speaker 3 Like, what is going on?

Speaker 3 So everyone's like, oh my God, I can't believe you're fired. Oh, my God.
This is crazy. And then Max goes to Christian's cabin and he's like, ah, he's like,

Speaker 3 what a dick. He's such an asshole.
And Christian says, you know, whoa, what's that face about? And he's like, oh,

Speaker 3 but I just know the news. Oh, yeah, man.
I don't know. I don't know, man.
I tried to warn you like one one billion times but now you are fired

Speaker 2 what a dick what a total dick i have to tell you the uh the record on french people on blow deck these days is not great between max and zelaine so um christian is like yeah okay well get a new deck and try to hypnotize him see how that goes okay i'm going back to having sex in a different place

Speaker 2 so um kizzy's like i can't believe that tessa's leaving even though i never even got to have a conversation with her ever. But still, it's so sad to see her leave.

Speaker 3 And they're all like, bye.

Speaker 2 And I was just like hugging them and everything.

Speaker 3 You know, Christian, I'm sad he left because I was watching a movie last night. By the way, most disturbing movie I've seen in a long time.
Don't watch it.

Speaker 3 I'm not recommending anyone watch this because you'll blame me for being triggered by all of that.

Speaker 3 I watched that one the other day. That one was fine.
It was okay. This one was called Bring Her Back.
Oh my God. Disturbing as fuck.
So anyway, I was watching it.

Speaker 3 and then a preview came on for a movie and it was a wes anderson movie with bonicio del toro where he's dying i guess he's he's afraid he's gonna die and so he's getting all his children to take over his business that's who cares about the plot but the main thing is that benicio del toro flies planes and he's always crashing the planes and he survived like

Speaker 3 10 crashes and so he's just like well i'm gonna die so i i guess i better get my kids ready to take over and i totally thought of christian you know this is where christian is going.

Speaker 3 He's going back to just crash more planes because I'm still convinced that Christian is just crashing planes. And that's why he's on boats now instead of planes.

Speaker 2 Yeah. He, Christian literally says, Well, my dad has been in over 20 aircraft accidents.

Speaker 2 And with all the scratches and blood and glass in his skin, you know, this feels way worse than he described them.

Speaker 3 Like, uh,

Speaker 3 is your dad? Can you let me know what airline your dad flies for just for future edification?

Speaker 3 Can we just,

Speaker 2 can we just can we can we can we rewind that part your dad's been in 20 aircraft accidents but I almost want do

Speaker 2 like

Speaker 2 does like

Speaker 2 am I I'm like trying to imagine is there a world where there's a positive spin on that like oh well you know like you have to like have an emergency landing. Does that count as an aircraft accident?

Speaker 2 No. No, that's it's not a great feature.

Speaker 3 I don't love or is he just like incontinent? Is he maybe like having accidents on the plane?

Speaker 3 I don't know. I think I said my dad probably doesn't love this.
He's going on TV. Like, yeah, my dad has crashed his plane like 20 times.
It's probably not the best thing to be bragging on.

Speaker 3 I know.

Speaker 2 So, Tessa's like.

Speaker 3 Well, this is sad. I mean, maybe I could have had more confidence on the dick, but I just was so weary of like where I stood on the dick team.

Speaker 3 Like, I hope on the next boat, like, my bosom believes in me and the dribbled door and has half a brain cell.

Speaker 3 I wish he was more like those big B boys. By gosh, watching them grow up and become a big man who punched hillside.
That is what an honor it is for me.

Speaker 3 Okay, I really do wish Nathan all the best, and I'm sure he'll do great. Oh, boy, god.
I'm just like, just leave this boat now.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but she's like rolling her eyes, like he sucks, and this is all leadership. This is all leadership's fault.
Tessa, you don't know how to do anything. You don't know how to fill up a fucking car.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean? Like a vehicle. You don't know how to fill up gas.
You're gone. Okay.
Stop blaming everybody else. So bye.

Speaker 3 So she leaves and

Speaker 3 Max hugs her. You know, he's very surprised.
No one is surprised, Max. Stop.
And so she's out. And I'm impressed that they fired them both.
And I'm glad. So now let's see who else we get.

Speaker 3 Let's text potential deckhand number one. Hey, what are you up to? I have an opening on a deck in Barcelona.
Please tell me that you have no experience, but are hot because you're hired.

Speaker 3 I'm telling you right now. Okay.
Is your CV a cute vase? Okay, not vase. I just, it's not a CF.
I'm not cute vase. Okay.

Speaker 3 Do you have a cute vase? Just pretend I say cute face. Okay, you're hired.
Come on.

Speaker 2 And then we get a text back from the potential deckhand that says, thank you so much for thinking of me. I brought my friend Gertie along.
Can she come too? No, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 Only room for one deckhand, unfortunately.

Speaker 3 Well, we are hiring two, but yeah, only room for one.

Speaker 3 Is this Goerdy, a lesbian professional tennis player? Then no. Okay.
She'll have to eat at the Olive Garden next door.

Speaker 3 Oh, by the way, while she's there, could you ask them if they have any extra uniform pants? God, I love those.

Speaker 2 But I did hear that they are out of butter because someone asked for a quote-unquote pinch of it. And they were marinara that they got out of some resumes.

Speaker 2 So then potential duckhand number two. Hey, good to hear from you.
I'm reading out loud the text that I received, by the way.

Speaker 2 I didn't text them because that'd be weird if I said good to hear from you when I was texting them initially. Anyway, they say, good to hear from you.
I'm sorry, but I'm not available right now.

Speaker 2 I'm on charter. Okay.
Wow, that was a stern rejection from Gigi Fernandez. I didn't like that one bit.

Speaker 3 And now, deckhand number three. Hey, are you available? I need a good deckhand in Barcelona, preferably without any experience but an ice butt.

Speaker 3 And they're like, hey, Captain Sandy, I could be available in three weeks. Would that work? And she's like, oh, geez.

Speaker 3 God,

Speaker 3 bless it.

Speaker 3 Sure, I'll take it. Christmas crackers.
Good.

Speaker 3 Shoot. Shoot.
I'm sorry for cursing. I don't know if that'll work.
That's the end of the season.

Speaker 2 Meanwhile, Josh is talking to Asha and he's saying about how when he first got into yachting, he didn't realize how ruthless it was.

Speaker 2 And Asha says, Well, it's like you either do the job or you're gone.

Speaker 3 And that's the way I like it. You really got to fear for Nathan when the most competent member of his team voluntarily rubbed jellyfish all over his face.

Speaker 3 And the other two have both been fired. That's just so bad.
bad.

Speaker 2 Which is a fair point, by the way.

Speaker 3 A very fair point.

Speaker 3 And it was great because we saw the clip of Max doing it again, which was great. You know, oh, look, jellyfish

Speaker 3 wipes his eyes. Oh, my God, I'm dying away.

Speaker 3 So then Max is complaining already. You know, he's like, oh, we are just two people.
How will I do this?

Speaker 3 So then

Speaker 3 now we see Captain Sandy still getting texts back from people. Sorry for the delay.
I was just actually dropping off our last charter in Valencia. God, California is just so far from you.

Speaker 3 But I would love to work with you again, Captain Sandy. Unfortunately, the yacht I've been driving is stuck on a freeway.

Speaker 3 That's something.

Speaker 2 I would love to join, but I am in Valencia, California, which means that I've just got to go to the Red Lobster up there and then hit up Magic Mountain real quickly. So if you can wait for me to do

Speaker 2 the Batman roller coaster, I will be right there with you. Oh, well, that has some potential, I gotta say.
You know, I love a deck man that can handle a roller coaster.

Speaker 3 Wow. Someone saying they can't come to work until they've had five orders of cheesy biscuits? What are you, Norma?

Speaker 2 So, Kizzy,

Speaker 2 V is wondering if Captain Sandy saw that V has deck experience. And Kizzy's like, well,

Speaker 2 are you going to go ask to be on deck? She's like, yeah, but I'm like a little intimidated because people who have like more experience than me just left. So like, I don't really know.

Speaker 2 But of course, Kizzy is pushing for this because Kizzy wants to be the star of the interior. And V is getting all the attention.
So she is advocating for her to get on out on the deck.

Speaker 3 Yeah. She's like, yeah, but you didn't have experience when you came in here and you're still smashing it in here, aren't you? It's smashing it a little too hard.

Speaker 3 If you ask me, get the fuck out of here. Not tire.

Speaker 3 So she wants her out of there and Sandy. And also, someone just wanting to be on deck so badly is funny.
She's like, oh my God, all I want to do is work outside all day and mop the side of a boat.

Speaker 3 Please.

Speaker 2 Kizzy basically announces that she's planted a seed to get V out there and she's hoping it's going to grow. So then Sandy calls Nathan and Asia to the bridge.
And

Speaker 2 as they head up there, we have this kind of amazing shot of, it's like one of the stationary cameras. It's just like one of the GoPros on the wall.
It's in the crew mess.

Speaker 2 And we just see the staircase and we hear Max like, oh, no. And we see like one orange tumble down, and then a second one.

Speaker 3 And then like 50 oranges go down the staircase. It was like such an amazing shot.

Speaker 3 Okay, here we are in the bridge. Well, I've got some news for you.

Speaker 3 Okay, since we fired two, not one, but two deckhands, it sweeps, it sweeps a month. I found you a replacement.
He's a real good deckhand. He's experienced.
He will will literally fuck a doorknob.

Speaker 3 His name is Joe.

Speaker 3 Oh, Joe. Oh, I love that you did this for sweeps months.
It'll be so good for the ratings at this pivotal time for advertisers. Oh, no.

Speaker 2 Sweeps months means it's the month where you get more people to sweep things. So yeah, Joe's coming on board.

Speaker 3 Joe's coming for sweeps month. And guess what?

Speaker 3 You know, I know it might creep some people out.

Speaker 3 Just warn your, warn everybody on deck that Joe will smile at them with his teeth touching each other perfectly like an odd little child smiling for his first picture. Okay.

Speaker 2 You know what's great about Joe when he smiles? You can't tell if he's smiling or frowning. It's just what you project onto him.
He's just like that one emoji.

Speaker 2 That's just like an oval with teeth in it.

Speaker 3 Just tell people every time you make Joe laugh, he's going to try showing off his flossing skills because that's basically what he's doing every time he smiles. He's like, hello.
Hello.

Speaker 3 That's me, Joe.

Speaker 2 I don't want to.

Speaker 2 I had a vision in the future that we might not be able to leave the dock tonight, but if the guests get bored, they can just stare at Joe's face long enough until they can't tell the difference between Joe's face and chicken run.

Speaker 2 It's really fun.

Speaker 3 Oh, it's so sad. We've lost two kind, lovely people today.

Speaker 3 But how cool that Joe is coming back.

Speaker 3 Yeah, me and Joe, we're on a whole different level. And so we see wacky scenes of Nathan and Joe being like wacky boys together.
They have a bromance, guys.

Speaker 3 They have one of those infamous below-deck romances that we just can't get enough of on this show. I know.

Speaker 2 It's like all of the Bravo fandom was like, when are Nathan and Joe going to be reunited? God, we love the two of them together.

Speaker 3 Weren't they so hilarious? Well, that's all I need. I really need a scene of Joe talking about how he really wants Nathan to finger his butthole again.
God, that was fun.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's like Lucy and Ethel, but the bro version. Like if Lucy had a hairstyle of a monk and Ethel just liked to bang a lot of things, which by the way, we all know Ethel did.
Let's be honest.

Speaker 3 If Ethel was just hinting most of the time that she wanted a little anal from her roomie,

Speaker 3 it would be basically the same thing.

Speaker 2 If Ethel were just obsessed with impressing her grandfather, God, that's what this would be.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I forgot that.

Speaker 3 Anywho, where are we?

Speaker 2 Okay, so Sandy is like, We're dead, we're dead.

Speaker 3 This isn't even happening. We died a long time ago.
No one's even on the other end of this phone. We're all dead.
Captain Sandy's like, Okay, well, I'm gonna start looking for another deck end.

Speaker 3 But you know, it is August in the middle of the midsummer.

Speaker 3 You know what that means? Everyone's going back to flying. Oh, wow, I just saw a plane fall out of the sky.

Speaker 3 Man, that Christian really gets back on the horse quickly. I'll give him that.

Speaker 2 So then, um,

Speaker 2 I know the only thing that America wants more than Joe and Nathan Reunited are scenes of Kizzy texting her boyfriend we've never met and we barely

Speaker 3 know anything about Tommy.

Speaker 2 So here she goes.

Speaker 2 He texts and says, I hated today. And she goes, don't worry.
I promise it won't be this hectic the whole time.

Speaker 3 Great.

Speaker 2 Love.

Speaker 2 So so enthralling. So he is another one of these below-deck boyfriends who gets jealous that his girlfriend is not around and then guilts her

Speaker 2 because she's off doing her job. It's a pretty big trope on this show.

Speaker 3 Yeah, dump Tommy. Tommy's a loser.

Speaker 2 Yeah, get rid of Tommy. Just slut it up like you want to.

Speaker 3 And Asia mentions that it's bad weather to Sandy. She's like, oh my God, I didn't even see this in the TV guy.
Does that mean wind is coming out?

Speaker 3 Got to get to my screen.

Speaker 2 There are showers. Oh my God, showers.
By the way, speaking of bad weather, did you see that footage of the

Speaker 2 special airplane that went into the eye of Hurricane Melissa that was showing today?

Speaker 3 I did. I just watched that.

Speaker 3 I remember seeing it. You have a movie the day after tomorrow.
I think it was a far cloud that they're inside, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah. What was that movie? The day after tomorrow or the day after, the morning after tomorrow or whatever where like terrible weather hits the world and it all freezes over.

Speaker 2 And there was like a moment where a big hurricane hit. And

Speaker 3 they created that imagery but this was real and I was like wow I was like wow I didn't know what calm

Speaker 2 yeah the eye of the hurricane is the eye of the hurricane is famously where it's super calm so like when the if the eye passes over everything calms down and you're like oh my god the hurricane's over but it's actually not i think the other side of it seems supposed to be even worse

Speaker 3 i wanted to visit i was like that looks lovely the eye of the hurricane it's just so calm and peaceful it's like a wall of clouds and then you know yeah i guess it's not it's crazy.

Speaker 3 It doesn't end well. But it sure was pretty on the inside.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Well, I hope everyone in Jamaica is okay because they're saying they're going to get hit really hard.

Speaker 3 So, you know, yeah, that's, I was really worried for Jamaica looking at that. That's not, I mean, that thing was huge.
They said it's 10 miles. That's wild.

Speaker 3 The eye of the hurricane was 10 miles in the diameter. That's crazy, right? That's crazy.
Jesus Christ.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I hope everyone's getting it. That's scary.

Speaker 2 Okay, so back to this stupid analogy. Like, God, we hope people's houses aren't like destroyed and like people don't lose their lives.
Anyway, back to Captain Sandy.

Speaker 3 Hey, I know. Jeez, thanks for the upper man.
Nice pivot.

Speaker 2 The pivot award, the best pivot of Q4 goes to Ben Mandelger talking about blow deck sailing, Mediterranean.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 V is asking Nathan about the team, what who's on the team, and she basically throws her hat in the ring. And if that's the, is that the expression? Hat in the ring?

Speaker 3 She throws a hat.

Speaker 2 It lands somewhere.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you throw your hat by the ring.

Speaker 3 You throw your ring there. She threw threw it ringing.
The cowboy's like, ouch.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you throw your hat. She threw it.

Speaker 3 She's like, so who's your team tomorrow, Nathan? He's like, I don't know. She goes, how do you feel about me switching sides? You're a fucking turncoat.
That's how I feel.

Speaker 3 No, I just mean coming from the outside to the inside. Sorry.
Sorry. Okay.

Speaker 3 Well, you know, I've just like, I've had one week of actual deck and safety on an 80-foot yacht and decks do on a 100-foot yacht. But, you know, I have done lines and fenders.

Speaker 3 So you're obviously going to have to teach me a couple of things, but, you know, I do pick things up quickly. And he's like, okay about it.

Speaker 3 Quick question.

Speaker 2 You see a beautiful jollyfish floating along. What do you do? I touch it, then touch my eye.
Well, I guess that's good enough.

Speaker 2 You're on the team.

Speaker 3 Good enough to be Lidakhan, then.

Speaker 3 All right, I'll think about it.

Speaker 3 I'll chat with the captain later to see with anyone. I was going to go in there now, but all I can hear from her

Speaker 3 from the bridge is bbi, bibi, and bibi over and over again. Hey, me, me, hey, me, me, you're the sexiest, sexiest, cutie bike,

Speaker 3 baby.

Speaker 2 So now

Speaker 2 everyone's getting ready to go out for the evening. Kizzy puts her fist in her mouth because why not?

Speaker 2 And they all have fun. They get into cars, and Max is like, oh, in two months, I have sex just one time.
And Kizzy's like, oh, God, it's going to be a long six weeks.

Speaker 2 I mean, mean there are these attractive guys parating around the boat and i want to have my cake and eat it that's not the right thing to do it's not fair on tom

Speaker 2 it's so hard having a conscience

Speaker 3 i'm sure commercials

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Speaker 1 Reese's peanut butter cups. They go perfectly with music,

Speaker 1 podcasts, and welcome back to the show. Even nature sounds.

Speaker 1 Oh, and the thing where someone crinkles tissue and whispers at you.

Speaker 1 Hello. Look, I'm not here to judge what you listen to.
I'm here to judge you for not eating Reese's while you listen to it. Reese's.

Speaker 1 Actually, go back to the nature sounds.

Speaker 1 Nice. Yeah, that's really nice.

Speaker 3 So they go to dinner, and now, you know, Max is picking up Kizzy and they're flirting, and everybody eats and drinks, and they cheer each other. And they've got a deckhand replacement, and it's Joe.

Speaker 3 So they announce that at dinner, and Nathan says that he's my best friend. He's my best friend.

Speaker 3 He's your best friend, so I can be my best friend too.

Speaker 3 I'm sorry, Buddha's busy, huh?

Speaker 2 So, Kizzy is like, Do you think Joe's going to be in love with her, V, or is he going to be in love with me?

Speaker 3 He, he, he, he, he, I'm a flirt.

Speaker 2 And Nathan's like, I don't know. He could be, which, like, I'm just counting down to the moment where Joe says, oh, God, Kizzy.
Oh, I'm going to be in trouble here. Oh, God, Kizzy is trouble.

Speaker 2 Oh, everyone's trouble.

Speaker 3 It's the classic buckboy thing. Yeah, all trouble does.

Speaker 3 I was coming here trying to be a good guy. Now everybody's going to get me in trouble.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's what they always take themselves out of the causality. Like, everyone's going to get me in trouble.

Speaker 2 So, but then Josh reminds Kizzy, like, but you're taking goods. He's not going to fall for you.
He's not going to go for you because you're taking goods. And she's like, like, so mad.

Speaker 2 So mad that he brings up that inconvenient fact for her that she loves to brandish at the last second.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 but I love it. It's so nice to have people love you i just love love i just love love

Speaker 3 so we have

Speaker 2 to get the boat and oh yeah yeah yeah norma sorry i was gonna say back at the boat and sandy is texting norma hey norma quick update it's friday night and you're still at home watching reruns of just the 10 of us okay tgif is over bitch bye

Speaker 3 Oh, hey there. Yeah.
It's better than listening to the non-stop idiotic radio show that is BBB BB that you seem to be playing non-stop over there. Bloop.

Speaker 2 Hey, you know what? I didn't really hear what you said because my connection broke up. Were you trying to eat my Wi-Fi again?

Speaker 3 Hey there. Filled one deck position.
Okay. So that's good.
Heard that from you. Great.
Good for you. Filled one deck position.
Okay. So I guess you're going to do your job badly again.

Speaker 3 And then I'll be sitting here ready to pick up the pieces when it all falls apart again. Bloop,

Speaker 2 pick it to pieces when it all falls apart again. Are you talking about your Oreos again? God, I love watching you chase those things across the kitchen floor.

Speaker 3 Bloop,

Speaker 3 fuck you, Kinkos. It's late at night, okay? I'm on the horn here trying to find someone on OnlyFans.
You know how hard it is shopping for deck cans when you got a boner?

Speaker 3 Did you die?

Speaker 2 I think that I think that weather's coming in. I'm not, can't quite hear you, Norma.
I just assume you tried to diss me. So just pretend I dissed you back.

Speaker 2 And just know I love you. I love you.
And don't get too lonely tonight. Hold on.
I'm going to go text my wife that I have. Because I went on a date that was successful that went to future dates.

Speaker 2 Anyway, I know that's a far experience for you, but okay.

Speaker 3 What are you doing? Spending time in the eye of a hurricane over there, Sandy? Geez. Well, congratulations.
You know, the eye of the hurricane has found something actually more sucking than it is.

Speaker 3 Wow.

Speaker 2 I think you're thinking about tornadoes, but that's okay. I know.

Speaker 2 Listen, if there's anyone who got excited for that Twisters movie, it was you, huh? But that's because you probably thought it was a movie about tomatoes, not tornadoes.

Speaker 4 But hey, that's okay.

Speaker 3 It was a movie about pretzels, you dumb bitch. Bloop.

Speaker 3 So now the crew is heading out to go party, and they're going to do shots, you guys.

Speaker 2 And Max and Kizzy are still flirting.

Speaker 3 And so Isha is talking to Josh about how he feels. And, you know, you know, clowns have feelings, you guys.

Speaker 3 And she's like, just remember, you don't have to do everything the guests say because they don't appreciate it anyway. And he's like, yeah, you know, like, people send things back.

Speaker 3 Like, this is a fear driver for me. You know what I mean? Like, I just don't want that shit to happen.
So I think I try to probably just go a bit too much.

Speaker 3 You know, maybe I just need to pull back a little bit.

Speaker 3 Just like doing things to excellence, but like on a smaller variety, like you're gonna burn yourself out otherwise.

Speaker 3 Like, yeah, here's what I want you to concentrate on, all right? Mediocrity.

Speaker 3 That's really what you need to get your arms around. Embrace it.

Speaker 3 Listen, normally I would hell a chef to strive for excellence, but you part-time do clown work, so we really know we have a certain ceiling. So let's not try to go above that.
Okay

Speaker 3 Max and Nathan are chatting and Max is talking

Speaker 3 about Joe. He's like, is it going to be the same with Joe here? Is everything going to change? Like, what the hell?

Speaker 3 And he's like, well, you need to keep your emotions and see if we can work together as the team. And then I can see you in a leadership position.
I can. I can see you going far.

Speaker 3 Of course. Of course.

Speaker 2 And Joe, Joe's your friend, bro, huh? Joe's your friend, huh?

Speaker 3 Yeah, but I have to think think professional because you've proven so much. But I want you to correct the emotional part.
That's the thing. Show me with the fist one.
Show me with the fist one.

Speaker 3 And bomb. Oh, this hurts my fist, you motherfucker.
You will pay. Your whole family will pay.
That's what I'm talking about. You're losing your mind.
You can't lose your mind like that.

Speaker 2 Max is going to have a total meltdown when Joe becomes the duckhand. I'll say that much.
It's going to be a total nightmare. So now everyone goes back to the boat.

Speaker 2 and uh and nathan's telling max that he should go after kizzy and max is like yeah but she has a boyfriend he's like well whatever it go for it and now people are going to sleep and kizzy's like by the way asha do you think really quickly do you think i'm like a fucking idiot for coming on here with a guy that i'm dating for the first time she's like well i mean you've only been with him a month and you know if you guys are dating and so only for six months for a year i totally get it but yes you're a bit of an idiot, aren't you?

Speaker 3 Gnoid.

Speaker 3 It's like, can I just go to sleep without having to answer stupid questions of stupid girls? Because she's trying to go to bed. She's like, hold on.
What about my boyfriend?

Speaker 3 And she's like, for God's sake, can I just candle? Can I just candle and go to bed?

Speaker 3 She's like, can I just

Speaker 2 watch this video of someone popping a pimple? Thank you.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Well, what I've seen of Keatsy so far.
She shouldn't be here with a boyfriend. She's pawning for every every guard's attention.

Speaker 3 And she's like, yeah, but I do have a good connection with both Max and Nathan. So what do I do? What do I do?

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 Shut up, Kizzy. God, read a book.

Speaker 2 Asha gives like the most generic advice, just to get out of the conversation.

Speaker 3 She just goes, this is your life. Good night.

Speaker 2 It's like, I'm not going to provide any insight. You're a dumb twit.

Speaker 2 Just focus on windexing things tomorrow. Thank you very much.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So now it's 6 a.m.
in the morning, and Captain Sandy is glued to a television screen because it's season five of wind.

Speaker 3 And it's cloudy and it's seven hours before charter. Will we get another deckhand? What's going to happen? Is the storm going to kill everybody?

Speaker 3 Will Norma ever finish dreaming about pretzels because I said the word twister? God.

Speaker 3 And Josh is getting ready. And now Sandy's on the bridge texting Norma.
Still no deckhand. Still no deckhand? Still no deckhand.

Speaker 3 Bloop.

Speaker 2 What part of the no new person has walked onto your boat this morning indicates that there is a new deckhand? Okay. No new deckhand, bitch.
Let me do my job. Bloop.

Speaker 3 Okay. Well, if your job was sitting around doing nothing, I'll tell you what, you would get a raise right now.
Bloop.

Speaker 2 Bloop. You're lucky that a tornado didn't come for you because guess what? A pretzel could have hit you in the head and knocked you right out of those capri pants, that's for sure.

Speaker 2 And then Denny would be a happy camper. Okay, be careful out there, bitch.

Speaker 3 Bloop.

Speaker 3 I know a pretzel would never hit me in the head because once the wind started blowing it towards me, you'd jump up like Lassie and

Speaker 3 grab it out of the air like magic.

Speaker 3 Bloop.

Speaker 2 Well, at least one of us has some urgency around here. Am I right? Please try to not crash your boat again.
Bloop.

Speaker 3 Oh, I'm so sorry. There's an invisible gush coming around the corner.
It's about to get Dennis Quaid. Sorry, I gotta go.
Winds on. Bloop.

Speaker 3 Did you see Dennis Quaid?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's my hall pass.

Speaker 3 Bloop.

Speaker 3 Wow. If he knew that, he'd change his name to Dennis Afraid.

Speaker 3 Well, it's better than your hall pass, aka

Speaker 2 Mark Elkenberger. Bloop.

Speaker 3 You don't even need a hall pass because everyone you've ever approached says pass

Speaker 3 Well

Speaker 2 at least my hall isn't as big and open as yours if you know what I'm saying bloop

Speaker 3 Yeah, you would know because you've been passed by the entire hall

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 I I don't have to worry about that because I'm single and there is no hall pass for me. It's called just live in life.
Just live in life. Bloop.

Speaker 3 Have fun in your caftan for the rest of your life. It's basically your tomb.
So I hope you pick a comfy one. Bloop.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry I wasn't listening to you because I was too busy writing another love letter to Dennis Quaid. I'll talk to you later.

Speaker 3 Bye. Bloop.

Speaker 3 So Captain Sandy

Speaker 3 is updating Aisha. Joe's coming this morning, and then I'm still short a deckhand.
You know, gosh, I hope the deckhand's not short because then going to be short a short deckhand.

Speaker 3 That's saying a lot of shorts in one sentence. Am I right?

Speaker 3 So just thinking, you do have a stewardess, right? Victoria, V. You know, I don't want to call her V because I really hated that show.
It was scary. People ate rats.

Speaker 3 I mean, they were aliens, but still, aliens shouldn't eat rats either. You know, rats are necessary.
Otherwise, we can't test makeup. And then my wife, her face would melt off.
So it's important.

Speaker 3 Anyway, the point is, Victoria has deck experience. Did you know that?

Speaker 3 Yes, unfortunately.

Speaker 2 Well, and you know, here's another question.

Speaker 2 If we're short a deckhand and that deckhand is short and that deckhand is wearing shorts, then we're short a short deckhand wearing shorts.

Speaker 2 But if they wear capri pants, does that mean we're short, a short,

Speaker 2 we're short, a short person wearing a long short?

Speaker 3 Think of that.

Speaker 3 I hope I don't ever yell at him so I don't have to say, whoa, hey, short person with short pants that are trying to be long short pants. Sorry for getting short with you.

Speaker 2 This reminds me, did we ever find out if Martin Short was interested in becoming a deckhand?

Speaker 3 Well, it's tricky because mainly mornings and dinner when I need V the most, I need her, so she can't be out there. Well, I guess that works because maybe you need her more during the day.

Speaker 3 He's like, yeah, but I'll need one back to the night shift.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 yeah, so Aisha's like, well, it'd be mean kizzy doing everything, but you know, I'll always do my mediocre best.

Speaker 3 Selfishly. I've really been into mediocre this year.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 She's like, I'm checking out. Thank you.
Selfishly, the last thing I want is to give V up because I mean, we finally got this beautiful, cohesive team.

Speaker 3 But luckily for everyone, I am larger thinking, Chief Stew, who knows she needs to do the best for her whole boat. So just consider me the good witch of the boat.

Speaker 3 So they're moving V to the deck part-time. Now we go to Max doing pull-ups on the railing.
And

Speaker 3 it was the same railing that Nathan used to tell Tessa had smudges all over it. And now we see why.
Now we see why, Max.

Speaker 2 Wow, that's some good lore on that railing. And then Asha is telling the team that basically

Speaker 2 Nathan, she and Nathan will be sharing custody of V, and v is all excited about this and she's like wow she's like this opportunity to do deck is like a breath of fresh air like but quite literally because i get to go outside and breathe like fresh air you see what i'm saying okay so when you go outside there's air and that's fresher but the air that on the inside is like more stale so like when you go outside it's truly like fresh air is my joke landing

Speaker 3 um and kizzy's saying she's gonna have to do even more now with just two but she probably should have thought of that before she planted her seed And then she's like, oh my god, did I just say plant a seed?

Speaker 3 It's hilarious, isn't it? That sounds dirty.

Speaker 3 Whoops.

Speaker 2 So now people are taking out trash. And

Speaker 2 Nathan is, there's this, okay, there's this long shot of Nathan going and bringing like the garbage to the dumpster. Notably, he's barefoot.

Speaker 2 I feel like I don't want to walk around in a dumpster area barefoot. First of all, I think there'd be like broken glass nearby.
Second of all, just dumpster juices.

Speaker 2 And I just think that's kind of like gross. I mean, admittedly, he walks around hoses all day long, so he could always hose down his feet, but I was sort of like grossed out by that.

Speaker 2 And while I was reflecting on this, lo and behold, the metaphor of dumpster juices arrives. Joe, he pulls up, and then they hug and have a romantic moment.

Speaker 3 Yeah, now Acha comes and she starts squealing. And Joe shows us those teeth.
And he's like, I'm back, baby. Do I have anything in my teeth?

Speaker 3 I was literally navigating off the watch 35-meter. I was out at sea.
Got the text from Captain Cindy saying that my best mate needed me on deck. Get me on.

Speaker 3 I do consider myself a really good deckhunt, but I had a few flaws. So let's take a look and see.
My flaws were that women loved me. They just loved me.
Couldn't stay out of them.

Speaker 3 Whoopee-pie, that's what I make. If I was a chef, I'd make only whoopee pie.
Girls love me. They love me.

Speaker 2 So then Max meets Joe and then,

Speaker 2 you know, and Joe is saying like, oh, I've just done a level up.

Speaker 3 I feel so good. I'm so confident within myself.
I'm just ready to absolutely smash it.

Speaker 2 And then Joe goes and sees Captain Sandy and they hug and he once again says he's ready to smash it. He says he's ready to smash it quite a bit.

Speaker 3 That's one thing no one's ever said when they've looked at Norma. I'll tell you that.

Speaker 2 Get out there and do your best. Ah, good, better, best.
Never let it rest until your goods, your norma, and your normas, you're not so good anymore. Okay.

Speaker 3 so asha is like okay well guess what max now you've met the infamous joe what do you think he's like oh man he's good looking he's a bit of a

Speaker 2 because this is really what bros care about like how big is your chest and in fact like later on they literally grope each other's pecs and are like oh nice picks yeah oh nice picks yeah

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Speaker 5 Picture this. You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange.
The horizon doesn't look right. At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.

Speaker 5 Then, the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all.
It's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water, and it's racing straight toward you.

Speaker 5 On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning.

Speaker 5 No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation.

Speaker 5 In this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive.

Speaker 5 Follow Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Against the Odds Tsunami in Thailand early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.