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Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappins. I'm Ronnie.
That's Benuni over there. Hello, Ben.
How are you? I'm great. Thanks.
How are you doing?

Good.

Everybody, welcome back to Watch What Crappens. It is Vanderpump Rules Day for all those who celebrate.
We will be covering that after Salt Lake City. So come back later for little pumpy rules.

We're back, darling.

Better than ever. I don't know if the word better than ever, but I'll tell you what, the Phillips hue bulbs are still a burning in that place.
A lot of pink lighting. Okay.

That's coming up. Monday, we have an Amazon live join us for that every monday at 4 p.m pacific time

and that's it really right now you know what that's it okay we're getting ready to record with the reality gaze our christmas movie for the year we finally decided it will be the secret santa which is a really stupid movie on netflix an incredibly stupid movie on netflix so get it watched already no i just watched a preview and i was like why why do we do this you know

I believe it's called My Secret Santa. Not the Secret Santa.
Just My Secret Santa. Just Santa.

Really make sure we're, you know,

we want to honor the form.

It's about a girl who decides to pretend to be Santa. So she gets some gays over, I'm assuming.
And they do all this like CGI and makeup on her. And so she becomes Santa.
So, guys,

hilarity will ensue. Okay.

We'll be doing that during Christmas week.

week oh yes um i have to say first of all thank you to our listeners for listening to our show because all this spotify rap stuff started coming out and so we looked at ours and the the numbers were crazy and it said that our listeners on spotify listened to 230 million minutes of us

so thank you thank you for spending that time that is crazy so thank you very much yes and thanks to all the um partners and husbands out there, wives who listen. Dogs who are forced to listen.

Yes as well.

Suckers, we look forward to torturing you for another year, at least.

But today we are torturing you with the sweet screeches of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Season 6, Episode 12, First Amendment Rights and Wrongs.

You know, Ronnie, you've often said that Salt Lake City is the community theater of the housewives, And this was the closest that that has come to reality because this was an episode where the women got into cheap costumes and sat on a stage in sort of like a V formation, cheating out to the audience and were like literally putting on a scene for us at like a community, like a warehouse.

Like it was, this was as close to your description as we could possibly get. I mean, they were literally in a warehouse doing a scene.

And they were saying literally, like for anybody who's ever done community theater, we've heard these lines in rehearsal before, you know, like when you're sitting around and you're going through notes and somebody gets all mad because they keep getting a note and they just can't ever get their scene right or whatever.

And then you just hear, alcoholic, pill popper.

We've all been there.

All been there. What is

amazing?

And what was also great is that,

as we will get to, they all had quill pens, which meant that then when they started to argue, they couldn't resist shaking their quill pens at each other.

So, even though they were having very serious arguments and yelling and crying and making accusations, they were shaking these like frilly feathers at each other.

And it just was such a hilarious visual.

And then, my favorite piece of theater, Whitney Rose sitting on her patio with a glass of wine, pretending she didn't understand what MLMs were. and blaming everything on Justin.

What a dick this lady is. What an absolute piece of work this woman is.
And you know what? I found it absolutely hilarious.

And just Justin's face, like, uh, well, I don't really, I don't really know what to say about that went.

Some thought was, was a little, was a little odd. It was, uh, well, we'll get to it, but it was.
How dare you force me to go into an NMLM? I could have been in Sephora's.

No, no, you couldn't have. Girl, they wouldn't even take that shit in Lubies, and we all know it.

She's acting like she turned down like a billion dollars, she's acting like she's gonna be the next Selena Gomez, like I was gonna be Selena Gomez.

Hilarious, okay. So, we open with Bronwyn in one of her wacky outfits, picking up Todd from the airport.
This also, I mean, literally every scene in this I loved.

You know, a lot of people have been maybe complaining about this episode online, just saying it's kind of boring. I did not think it was boring, I thought it was fabulous.

I mean, even this first scene with her showing up in that airport in that sloth costume, but the best part,

even though she's in an inflatable sloth costume, the best part was just watching Todd alone at baggage claim.

Just the amount of annoyance and perturbance on his face, her perturbation just being like,

perturbitude.

He was just angry. He was angry from flying.
He was angry for being at the bag carousel. He was angry that there was cameras capturing him from two different angles.

And he knew that every single time a bag came down that like conveyor belt he was like wow it's another bag that's not mine what a day this is what a day of travel

how am i gonna be the first person off the plane and the last person to get their luggage someone call the manager

what do you mean i had to discard my worthers originals it's not even a liquid you can bring that through the security detectors what's wrong with that you can't even bring listerine on a plane anymore did anybody blow up a plane with listerine please point me to the news headline when that happens.

Yeah, he already looked pre-grumpy or post-grumpy from his flight.

He's probably grumpy because he can't look at all the things he wants to look at on an iPad anymore when he's sitting there in his seat.

Damn it. Gotta just read the headlines.

Hi, Todd.

Todd, honey, what'd you do on the plane? And he's like, well, I've watched some videos on the iPad.

I had to not watch any boobies on my Textus just in case any your lady spies are behind me that was great

yeah he he literally says he he's like i watched some stuff i i looked at some stuff i downloaded onto my ipad i was like todd just don't even don't talk just don't mention the ipad don't don't bring that up don't mention things you downloaded just say just say you watch crazy rich asians that is the catch-all for this show now

i don't remember the ending though

No one knows the ending to that movie.

I honestly don't remember the ending of the movie either. I just remembered the Mahjong scene, and then that's it.
After that, it's a blank.

But then the Mahjong scene was the best, yes, with the mom when she finally won the mom over in the Mahjong scene. Yeah.
Yeah. Why have we not gotten a sequel?

I feel like we've been sitting here waiting dutifully for years and years. We get sequels to the rough economy.

Yeah, we get sequels to every other Inane movie that's out there.

No, but it's a rough economy, and no one's crazy rich anymore. Yeah.

We were crazy rich till we saw our Netflix bill. No crazy poor Asians with Netflix with two decent shows on it.
It's true. Honestly, everything's so expensive.
It's, you know, you're right.

How many times do I have to watch Wednesday in a row?

Yeah, it's like.

So

Ron Wins saying that basically, you know, like she and Todd are married and, you know, it's okay, you know, they are having issues, but doesn't mean she doesn't want to be married to him, you know, and that their relationship can withstand the good times and the hard times.

It's basically like, yeah, Todd's still, Todd's still grumpy and Todd is also still very, very rich.

I'm staying. It's like, I'm staying.

I had a week with just Muzzy and Gwyn. And like, once we all got our matching bobs, we sort of ran out of things to talk about.
So decided I'd bring Todd back into the mix.

I can't quit my husband until he's got a Bob.

Everyone in my household will have a Bob. Like we don't even see the dogs anymore.
And you know, they're walking around with little bobs. Why don't we see those dogs anymore?

What happened to all the dogs? Like, I get it. You know, you, you got shamed for all the dog poop in your house.
So now what did you do? Slaughter the dogs?

Were the dogs like fed to people under a bridge? Where are the dogs? I'm worried about the dogs now. Is the reunion being taped right now, by the way? I think it's happening today.

Yeah, I think it is. Andy, Andy sent out that bat signal last night saying like, whoever has any questions, ask them.
And I was trying to come up with a really good and funny

question about Bob's, but

I got distracted. Also, I'm currently being dragged on Twitter, which is like very funny.
Really? You? Oh, yeah. What did you do?

Because I posted that stupid list of housewives that like best house. I was like, here's my work in progress of best housewives who were cast from season five or later.

But it was, well, I did this right before we did our bonus episode. Oh, yeah.
So shout out to our bonus episode. Among other things, we talked about this list.
We talked it through, revised it.

We both agreed that i had initially put portia way too low i don't know like i i did the list the initial list was like 2 a.m and i just you know you start to overthink things and i was like well i like portion portia's great but i don't know is she overrated is she not overrated sometimes she checks out so i put her at number seven which is still very high and then we moved her up to number five like you you made a very good point of like she should definitely be top five well

The initial list is out there on Twitter and people are not happy. And well, but then again, people are not happy about literally every single thing.
Like people are like, where's where's this person?

Where's that person? That person's too low. Rena should be number five.
Rina should be number 12. How could you say this? You said Dr.
Tiffany Moon, but you didn't say Dr. Wendy Seffo.

It's like everywhere. It's actually hilarious.
Oh, you without a doctor title on accident. Well, because,

well, it was by accident, but also I'm thinking like medical doctor. And I'm also like, I always feel like we always call Tiffany Moon Dr.
Tiffany Moon, but we never say Dr. Wendy Aceffo.

It's a fair point, actually. I mean, she's still a doctor.
She deserves her doctorate. But either way, it's like, I'm getting it left and right, but it's fun.
That's like i've never

opinions that's what you get i know i know exactly it's just funny because i've never gotten um such hostility before but i but it's fun it's like really fun to to it's a good experience you're toughening up over there geez i know you got to go through it once well our friend remember eric williams from um the ass podcast you know he posted he posted that halloween costume he did back in october you know about that what was it just for people who don't know

so uh he, since he has a

passing resemblance to the dad from

Inside Out from Pixar, he posted, he made that like, he did like a sexy version of that where he basically just like stuffed his crotch and he put that on Twitter and it got 9 million responses from basically gays saying that he like wishes he looked like that.

He's like, no, all the gays just attacked him. 9 million gays attacked him.
Oh my God.

9 million.

He had like 9 million responses it went viral it's hilarious mine i've had like 40 i'm like oh my god he had nine million wow you should have you should have had the cover the cover image of your list of housewives with you just with your junk stuffed i know i should have people are unhappy that i put dolores so high people are really unhappy that i put dolores and son so high which i i get it i get it but it's like but they're like angry They're actually like very angry.

Yeah, like it's your personal list. You know, everybody has their own list.
You know, you make your own list, okay? Make your own.

I know, but people are like,

they're pissed. They're pissed.
I've made the people angry, but I think we'll all survive, but it's also kind of funny. That's kind of a red badge of courage.

Yeah, I like a red badge of courage. It is.
Yeah. I made it through this.

I made it through this. You're going to make it through 40 people.
40 people were angry at me.

You're going to make it into 2026 so much stronger because of this, Ben. You did.
But it is a work of progress. And I, and I will, I did.

Right.

And I did post the revised version from Patreon on Twitter as well So but no one seems to care about the revised no one cares about the revised version They only care about the initial rough draft.

Yeah, well, you know what we're all a work in progress everybody you just keep putting one foot in front of the other Let's just keep on moving keep it moving

So Todd's like so how was your week while I'm gone? Let me guess you bought a bunch of extensive expensive clothes and threw shades over dog shit on the ground instead of cleaning it up

um well yes and um also uh my week was like not that good i'm i'm in big trouble i um i released a rough draft of a list of housewives on twitter and people are not happy about that and also um

additionally uh can you guess the other reason why i'm not in good mood in good and good graces right now

do nothing gold digging hump of nothing

well i think that people have to realize that like yes she is that but like when she has her meltdown meltdown They're pretty famous and she has a lot of famous lines and I don't know people need to reconsider that.

Oh, I don't want to talk about something. What'd your friends do? Okay, well now one more thing.
How could you put somebody on a list who got rid of who betrayed black girl missing?

Well, you know, I mean like yes, I'm not saying that she's like a doesn't have to be our hero. She can be our villain, but like, you know, she's she's still worth being on the list there.

And she revitalized Real House House at Beverly Hills when it it was definitely in its rut and its post-Lisa Vanderbump rut. So, you know, I think they deserve credit for that too.

But I really want to talk about my friends, Todd.

I'm unfollowing this newspaper. What do you call them now?

Go ahead. Bitch about your friends.
Bitch about the friends I told you to stop hanging out with.

Well, just so you know, it's called Twitter, but now it's called X. I don't want to talk about my ex.
How many times did I tell you?

Why aren't we still talking about my texts?

So she's like, well, what did you advise me to do before you left when we went to get coffee?

And he's like, well, not getting involved with the situation on an airplane. Snakes on a plane.
That's the last thing I'll talk about in any situation on a plane.

I don't want to talk about airplanes no more. They bring nothing but bad news to this family.

Whatever happened to horses.

Remember the days when you would put in some headphones like that with a stethoscope and plug them into the armrests?

That's what's called twa

i missed that airline

well what do you think i did i'm sure you got involved with a bunch of ding bats and a situation on a plane and i'm sure it turned into a shit show

i well yep uh-huh that's true that's exactly what happened so Well, I was trying to do the right thing and Whitney's mad because I told Meredith what she said.

And I'm, I'm really bummed out because Whitney's not going to trust me and she's not going to, and she's going to be mad at me.

I'm like, yeah, but that's because Whitney said that thing and you went and told Meredith. So, of course, she's not gonna trust you, Bron Wynn.

Yeah, anyone has an idiot to trust Bron Wynn. She's the worst.
I mean, and that's saying a lot because this is housewives, and that's a normal thing to like hear one thing and then go.

I mean, she's even worse than Heather, and Heather is the worst of all the franchises until Bron Wynn. But Bronwyn, yeah, I wouldn't trust her.

So Todd's like, Well, this group needs to sit down and have a Kumbaya and drink some fiber because you're all

constipated. Everyone,

Yeah, you're stupid. Okay, well, you know what?

That was unnecessary, Todd, that last remark.

You don't have to approve of what we do, but you don't have to call us stupid.

But you know what I'm starting to think? It's maybe we can't seem to move forward because... Well, there is a news flash.
Hold on, let me roll down the window. Hi, Newsflash.

My wife is starting to think.

Well, I think that everybody's worried that everybody still has something that they don't know about. You know, does that make sense? So I was having, I had this idea.

Well, my first idea was everyone should get a bob. And then I realized people are not going to do that.

So I thought, well, to celebrate my citizenship and becoming an American, I was thinking of having a spill of the Boston tea party, which is funny because I'm pretty sure no one in the cast knows what the Boston tea party even is.

They probably think it has something to do with... brewing some liptin and then knocking it over and saying go socks but that's okay

yeah it's a boston tea party so i want to get all the gossip out and all of our animosity out. And then I think we come together and we form a new constitution, Todd.
What do you think of that?

And he's like, wow, God, damn, now they hang the traitors in that area. That's what they did.
You gonna hang them? What are you gonna hang Lisa Barlow from a scarecrow post?

There you go.

Oh,

um,

get away from me, crows. You're disgusting.

If I only had a bride.

Um, So then we go to Whitney's house, and now here's Sirius Whitney staring off into the hills of her

staring off into the freeway, whatever the hell, the freeway by a pond. She's just sitting there with her glass of wine, like, I am so mad.
I'm going to have a scene about it.

She looks at the lights of the Paneras coming on as the sun sets.

So

Justin's like... Nothing calms my nerves like meditating while I stare at people parking at Jersey mics.

People come, people go, they get their subways. And I stay here in the same place

because I failed.

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So Justin comes out there and he's like, oh, hey, Wit. She's just staring at the Panera.
And he's like,

so

what are you thinking about there, Whit? What do you think about that? Question: No one has ever asked her. What are you thinking about, Whitney?

Do you have a blank whiteboard?

I feel like what she thinks about is like,

I feel like she's still trying to figure out a puzzle from like classic concentration in 1997. It was an I,

but then there was a C, and then there was a sheep. What does that mean? I see you

thank you for understanding we can't still can't figure this out though

well I just saw a large transfer from our bank account to one of our vendors and that hurt

I don't say tease at the end of words that hurt yeah I had to lose all my teas

because I because I failed I lost the right to use the T's.

So then Justin is like, I like that she's saying that like, oh my God, he is like, he's making payments without her consent.

And then he's like, well, I just felt like we have to make things right with people we owe money to. She's like, but why?

This woman who was just screaming at Lisa Barlow for not paying her bills at the beginning of the season and screwing people over in the business wants to screw people over in business.

I mean, this is just so fucking hypocritical, Whitney. It tracks.
It totally tracks. I was really hurt when you paid the vendor we owed money to.

I think we just really pay all the people that we ripped off. I'm assuming what she meant is like, it's just a reminder of how much they failed, is that they have to pay all this.

It's like more money going out the door. So she's like, it just sucks because my intuition going into this knew not to do it.
And I didn't listen. I'm like, is it about your hair color?

We all understand it was for a good cause. It's all okay, Whitney.
Is it that top?

We took Woldrose. We took Woldrose.
I kept thinking she was saying Valders. Like, she has such a weird way of pronouncing it.
Did you notice that? She kept going.

We took Woldrose Beauty and we merged it into a new entity. And unfortunately, I made a really bad decision.
And right now, I'm trying to get out of ownership of this company.

I'm fighting to get my name off it, to remove me as an owner, and to get back to my biggest asset, which is the name, the brand, and the inventory. I was like, so the whole thing.

Does anybody understand what the fuck Whitney is talking about in this scene?

Because I actually had to do research at the end of this, and I used to actually follow Whitney's businesses quite a bit because they were always in trouble.

You know, Whitney has been in trouble for years, ever since she's come on this show for her businesses being MLMs and everything else. Them coming for Whitney for this.

And there was a big TikTok scandal last year, in October of last year, which I know because I looked it up about this business. And I still don't understand what the hell is going on.
I still don't.

And I'm trying, you guys. I'm making an effort.
But apparently, she had an MLM with Justin's MLM because she met Justin doing MLMs. That's when they started their affair.
He was running an MLM.

She was working for the MLM. They had an affair on both their spouses, whatever.
They left their spouses. Fine.
They're having fun now. They're happy.
But he's continued to do MLMs.

That's the company that he left after their chocolate sex spanking scandal. And that is now the job that he has again.

So the fact that Whitney's just pretending like, well, you talked me into an MOLM. I never wanted to do that.

It's crazy. Right.
Well, also when she's like, she's like, I need to get back my biggest asset, which is my Wild Rose beauty name. I'm like, is that your biggest asset?

Because

you just said it's like, it's just a big failure. It's nothing but failure.

I'm like, even if you do get it back, people are going to see Wild Rose and just associate it with whatever thing it just got associated with. Start fresh, Whitney.

I mean, cash in on your fame for sure, but start fresh. It's okay.
There are other names out there. You can make other words with Rose.
It's all good. I say leave it behind and start something new.

Like, this is too much work. Too much work.
And it's her third one since the show started. It's her third business, which is

don't throw, don't throw good money after bad. You know what? Like after TV Gasm, I, you know, look, I left TV Gasm.
That was something I had started. And I was like, you know what? Moved on.

And you just move on. You just start something new.
You just go forward.

It's sad to leave your babies behind. But, you know, well, luckily my baby was in the hands of you.
So it was in good, it was in good stewardship.

But you know what?

Which wasn't really your fault. But either way.

uh the point is that like sometimes you make things and then you move on it's okay come on wild rose yeah i moved on to crap ins you see well i moved on to trash talk tv and then and then crappins it all it all works guys it all works out yeah

so um

now

business advice from your aunts yeah your aunties and a lot of them will fail and that's okay failure's fine oh just keep going so whitney is saying she doesn't feel like she was being told the truth with justin because i never would have done this my vision was to go to sephora and ulta and target and to get away from mlm

and then literally the week that she made a decision to go direct selling mlm was the week that she met the buyer of Sephora to get Wild Rose Beauty into big box stores.

And then Justin and the partners flashed numbers in front of her and she felt like she had no other choice but to go MLM. And so she did it because she trusted Justin and she's really mad at herself.

Okay, Whitney, if you had...

Go ahead. Did they flash numbers in front of her face or was she taking a selfie with a timer and I was saying 3-2-1?

They were throwing spaghettios at your face, okay?

Because you wouldn't get out of the way of the protector okay and those were letters not numbers you're just looking at the speedometer on your car look at all those numbers

okay you had a meeting with sephora did you get into sephora because this is the thing you can have a meeting with people but if your goal was to get into sephora i think that's a great goal i mean look of course i'm saying like ain't nobody want that in sephora okay that's my opinion but also my opinion is if that's your goal that's a great goal to have that's a cool goal but to give it up the week that you have your first meeting, it's not like you had already sold it to Sephora.

I don't know. I have a problem with her blaming everything on Justin.
I have a problem with it because this is very, we've watched from the very beginning. Justin had his job.

Then he lost his job because of the stuff they were doing on camera. Then that was rough on her.
And then blah, blah, blah.

Then she took all the money out of their account to put it into this business. And that was another big thing between them that she did that.

And now she's blaming him for losing everything. And I, I don't know.
I don't don't think that's fair. That sounds wrong to me.
I, I, I'm okay with blaming some of it on Justin.

If she had a vision and then he like pressured her to go his route, I mean, look, you know, she's her own person and she should, she can make her own decisions and her choices.

She learned the hard way. What happens when you don't? Uh, I think like she's allowed to have some resentment towards Justin.
Like, but we're assuming that her story is completely true.

And I'm, I'm, I'm right now, I mean,

it's Whitney, um but i'm taking it at face value um but i don't because they leave all this stuff out they leave all this stuff out about all this mlm stuff

here's what i can see what happened now first of all my opinion is based on only what we're seeing on the show and what i've found on the internet there is no concrete truth to this nobody really knows what happened to the business she's saying that the they got wrapped up in a justin company the custom the company failed and that's it from what i see happened they changed they took wild rose beauty immediately into an MLM.

It was never anything else. So they took Wild Rose Beauty.

They had all those openings last year that we that we saw for ambassador, for influencers and all of that, which were basically people to build, build the pyramids, which is what MLMs are.

Then she got called out. Then it became a huge thing on TikTok because people who worked there were talking about what a ripoff it was and how they were all getting ripped off from this thing.

It turned into a PR disaster. And then that's when it went south.

So I think she's trying to blame all of that that we know about on the internet on justin and i just don't think that's fair they've been it they've been in they've these two have been in involved in mlms for years and years and years so i don't think it's like winny just didn't know it was an mlm and she could have been in sephoras i just don't buy but that's all i'll say about i've already monologued for an hour about to me what's i mean i think all things can be true i think i think i think I think she could still have pressured her.

And I think that

she still knowingly went down that path. What I do think, though, is what I was kind of chuckling about the entire time.

And, you know, it's mean to chuckle at someone's business, you know, going down the tubes, especially because businesses are off limits, which by the way, they're not.

Businesses are not off limits on a real housewife show. I think they are totally on limits.

Children, fine, because you can like, you can cause trauma in their, in their development, and they could lead to like terrible, terrible things in their lives. But businesses, yeah, come on.
But

I do think

there was a part of me that was chuckling every time. She was sort of like implying, like she had her sliding doors moment.

And if she had just pivoted in one direction instead towards this buyer at Sephora, like she would have had like

billions of dollars. And I'm like, I don't know if that's guaranteed, to be honest.
You never know. You never know who's going to like make it big in these spaces, but.

I'm just not sure Whitney was

the one who was going to break through at Sephora. Yeah.
Well, she says, you, the minute you had an opportunity to take my baby, you said, let's make a billion dollar company.

And that's why I said yes, because if Justin believes it and we're working together, then a count fell.

Well, so then this is where I thought it was strange. Her whole thing was like, you've never, ever, ever taken an interest in my businesses.
And I really resent you for that.

And then you finally did, and then you ruined it. That's kind of what she's saying.

I'm like, so are you, are you saying that you were unhappy that he came in or are you saying that you wish that he had like, are you happy?

Are you unhappy that he never paid attention to your business? Are you unhappy that he did pay attention to your business in this case?

Like, I'm sort of like, I couldn't quite get the through line there.

Well, I think she wanted him to do the MLM thing with her business years ago, and he couldn't because he had non-compete clauses with his job. So he couldn't help her in that way.

But now that he can help her, he did bring it into an MLM and then it failed. And they also had another partner in the MLM.

So if this was failing or felling, as she says, as a bigger thing within an entity, they're going to cut that one off, right?

You know, especially if it has all this bad press and everybody's dogging its name, you can't really win that back online.

If everyone on, if everyone on TikTok's like, this business sucks and it's robbing people and it's ripping people off and it's an MLM, there's really no coming back from that, you know, so which is why it's funny that she wants to keep her Wild Rose name.

She's like, that's the most important asset that I have, a tarnished brand. brand all i want is to be able to come out and call my store blockbuster it's like oh

i've decided to rebrand and my new company's name is enron

bp

so justin's like well i don't really know what to say except saying sorry for getting you involved i mean he looks so confused he's like really you're you're gonna you you told me this was gonna be a scene of us us looking at the Panera closing down.

And now it has to be, now it's you dogging me on TV. God damn it.
You were supposed to make a wish at 1111 over the lights of the Panera.

And now instead, you're making me have to explain the situation.

So she's like, I'm trying not to resent you. It's just hard to separate you from that.
And so the producer says, is there going to be a change in the marriage or has there been one?

She goes, In the beginning, when it was all crumbling, I did bring, it did bring Justin and I closer.

And it's really making me struggle because separation from the business and the marriage, it's all become like

one. And now I can't, I don't, no.
She literally like runs out of steam while she's doing her confessional. Like, come on, Whitney, you can do it.
You can make it to the end of your monologue.

Yeah. I'm just kind of

there.

And he's like, well, I mean, look, I made a mistake.

Like, obviously I feel the resentment, but, you know, like, I always know your company is going to be successful i just thought it was a way we could work together babe she's like yeah but that was my everything i had that company for two weeks

it was everything and now it's gone listen why don't you just go to where the real money is open up a soda shop you're there in in utah your daughter will be there her gums will be on the spigot you know with all of her classmates just go to where the kids are okay give them the caffeine and the sugar that they want that no you can't become a heroin dealer when your daughter is an addict, okay?

That's bad family advice. And we all know that Bobby is a soda addict.
We've seen that little drunk at the skating rink when she's like, I'm gonna have whatever studies I want, mama.

I'm gonna give me some sprite and some Dr. Pepper.
What you gonna say about that, witch?

I know. I say, like, join in.
Do it. Riding off, speeding off in her golf cart, running over a baby in the street.
Girl, that girl's a drunk. This is a soda drunk.

Everyone's trying to be bethany franklin everyone's trying to come up with like a business idea they're trying they're trying to capitalize on their fame on these shows and i get it it's very american to do that and everyone's like i i can i can be the one that pushes through and i can do i can have a huge success yada yada yada i get it but like

i don't know like go go for something a little bit more local like open up a soda parlor open up a a bowling alley. I don't know.
Like not everything has to make it to Forbes.

Also, don't do a predatory business, maybe. You know, don't open a business that's like predatory on women trying to make a living, which is what MLMs, for the most part, are.

Like, I'm not going to feel sorry for Whitney, who's an MLM head. Those, those are known for being monstrous businesses, and now she's acting like a victim.

Well, ha ha, maybe come up with a real idea that doesn't,

that doesn't, that doesn't involve, you know, hurting, hurting women, ma'am.

How about, yeah, call it, how about multi-level milkshakes?

Now that I'm into. Yes, suddenly I'm a Whitney Rhodes fan.
Yes, Whitney for president.

Yeah, just like, you know, I think my general note for the housewives who are trying to cash in on their, on their fleeting fame, my note is stop trying to come up with things we've seen a million times on Shark Tank.

Skincare, pet food, all that stuff. Like, like address a real need.

not i'm i'm sorry i shouldn't say a real need obviously pets pets need their food and uh and people need their skincare that was totally the the wrong wording

what i really meant is like come up with something like address something like that's that's like not being addressed so like the kids want their soda i don't know like just there's there's a world outside of there's a world outside of doing your fashion line of doing your skincare of doing this like just do something different and it does don't try don't try to be like a nationwide brand right out the gate just

just maybe step

get good at something

get good at something and then do that, you know? But who knows? So we go over to Heather's house and we just leave Justin's teeth behind because Justin is really like this.

He's just like confused and we just see the top row of his teeth and gums. He's like, what the fuck? He's like the Cheshire Coat.

Yeah. So then we go to Heather's house and she is decorating her daughter Annabelle's room in Tampa college colors, which are red and black.
Who knew? I didn't know.

I feel like Tampa would have like more Miami-type colors, right? Yeah, pastel-y. Yeah, I'm actually a little disappointed in Tampa.

Like you're in Florida, like that gives you licenses to do like all sorts of like fun, bright colors, but red and black is a little

gloomy, a little bloody, you know? Yeah, and I'm in Austin.

And so I see that color and I think of the Aggies, you know, and I don't even know anything about football, but I know we're supposed to hate them.

So every time you see maroon people crossing a crosswalk, you have to rev your engine like you're about to hit them, you know? And they'll look at you like,

and then you do longhorns in their face and you speed off and you roll your window down and goes, yeah, suck that, Aggie. Suck it.

Although now that I think about it, isn't red and black also University of Utah? My nephew goes there and I, and I got, he gave me a sweatshirt that I believe was red and black.

But I don't know, like this, this Tampa red and black. I don't know.
I think that it's fine for Utah to be red and black. I just think that Tampa

should

be like flamingo colors, you know, pink and black. I think so too.
And like flowers. You know,

or like a leopard print or something. Yeah, something

every school in Florida has to have colors that would, that, that, that match that scheme. Like no primary colors, just pastels, pastels of fluorescence.

And like Robert Goulet should be the principal.

Yeah. Yeah.

So that's, I, I, I just want it.

100% you can do it. I just want the University of Tampa to take notes.
If that's it, University of Tampa?

Tampa State University.

Tampa

Columbia. Tampa State School Colors.
Yeah, scarlet and black. Commercials.

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So, um, they're decorating and they're making small talk. I really don't care.
This is this is super boring.

Except, it was fun when Heather said, Um, I have had two major changes in my life this year. The first one is that I bought an air fryer, it's changed my life.
And then we see her

making

what she calls, what do they call it?

Like an all-like an all-in-the-tub? A mixed bag. A mixed bag.
Yeah. I have to say, I'm like a bit shocked.
I'm actually,

of all the things I've been disappointed with with Heather Gay, you know, as once our fearless leader on the show, you know, I think the thing I'm most disappointed is that it took her this long to get an air fryer because she just has air fryer energy.

Like, I would have actually thought she just had an air fryer this entire time.

And I would have thought like the best part about Heather Gay is that, you know, you could probably like hit her up and be like, like, what are the air fryer recipes?

And to know that she's a newbie with it is like shocking. It is.

But I love air. I love that Heather is just catching on to air fryers.
Like, it, you know, it does kind of track, you know? So she talks about air frying and we see how excited she's been.

Can't believe they cut that because that, it looks like she planned on that being her storyline for the season and they're just fitting it in in episode 12 in a flashback.

And I felt kind of preferred. I would have preferred that, to be honest.
Like, that's actually a storyline I would have 100% gotten behind. Like if every episode, she was trying something new.

She's trying new recipes. She's developing an air fryer cookbook.
Like I'm into that. Like watching kids go to college is, well, it's not that we're watching the kids go to college.

It's, it's just that she's sort of just talking about how she redid her office. That's basically it.
Yeah. So they talk about that and they talk about her going to college and I don't care.

So then we go to, do you care? Can I move on? I care deeply. Let's go back to every single detail of this scene.

I'd rather talk about all the other useless crap we've talked about for 45 minutes.

So we go to Bronwyn's house and she's full of pride flags, guys, and she's putting them in envelopes. And she's asking Muzzy to bring her a spreadsheet.

And she explains, I'm a big supporter of the LGBTQIIA community.

And I was horrified when there was a passing of a law in Utah that pride flags could not be displayed at any government building.

So I just thought one way I could show support is just mailing people pride flags if they need one.

So my mom and I have made, you know, multiple trips to the sex store that also sells pride flags.

So yeah, she's dragged Muzzy. Muzzy got some sort of media training where they were like, Muzzy, we don't care how you feel about any of these things.
Just smile and get along.

Otherwise, America will destroy you. So she's like, okay, I'm at the sex store now.
This is quite bulky. This is interesting.

Muzzy, you are currently being stoned to death in public opinion.

Go to the gay sex store. Okay.

Anything that'll work.

So

they're looking at something and she's like, oh, look at this. Oh, this is like a penis.
Don't say that word. She's like, I already did say it, mother.
And it's not a bad word to say.

So she says, mom, you know, you coming and doing this with me, I know it's a big deal because you're a huge homophobe and hate gay people.

And I know that this is, you know, how you feel politically and stuff. This isn't your lane.
And, you know, I know sometimes it's very hard for you to support gay people.

Okay, look, everybody, that's my mother. She normally normally doesn't support gay people.

Mother, I know

this is not politically what you are into, but your eyebrows say otherwise.

So I'm going to say they do have a big, I did, I don't know if you heard this, but your eyebrows have been hired to be a guest judge on RuPaul next season. So congratulations.

Well, as long as it helps you there, I don't care. Now, if you ask me to go to a strip show, I might draw the line there.
Okay, we've had enough line drawing all over your face.

It is just those eyebrows. I seriously can't.
I'm not going to help you, though, because it's very important for me that America hates you while they see me being kind to you.

Well, one of the reasons why I haven't fixed my mom's brows is she said you can either have the brows or the bob, and I chose the bob, so she gets the bobs, give her the bob, she gets to keep her eyebrows.

So, you know, it's sacrifices that we make. She's like, well, you know, I love doing crazy things that I wouldn't do on my own.
Crazy, crazy things. Like, like mailing pride flags.

Like, whoa, normally when people say that, it's like bungee jumping or like streaking across the town square. It's like,

touching a pride flag. I love doing crazy things.
And you know, she's probably, you know,

taking a Sharpie to those flags and just writing, fix yourself, and then mailing them to the gay kids in Idaho or whatever. You could be better.

So she says, well, you know, dear, I don't worry about what other people think anymore like like I used to, because I'm a grown-up now.

Are you? So, do I have to wait until I'm 80 to be a grown-up? Because, you know, I very much worry that what other people think of me. I'm like, well,

listen,

you do show up at the airport dressed as an inflatable sloth. So if you're concerned about people viewing you as a grown-up or not, you know, there are some ways you could adjust that.

You dress like a melted crayon. Okay.

So, no, you don't. You have more confidence.
You have more confidence than you, Leadon.

And she's like, well, I do care what other people think of me about me still. I very much do, mom.
And I very much worry about what you think of me.

And she goes, well, I think you should to a certain extent.

I don't care what people think about me because I'm pretty awesome. But you,

maybe you should think about that a little bit. Shame does have its upside.

Well, mother, you know, in the past, you and I have struggled because I was making choices that you didn't really agree with. And you were very vocal about those lessons, mother.

And she's like, well, I told you that I learned my lesson, Bronman. I told you.
She goes, well, we have moved through it.

And I actually think that it's very interesting that the thing that you were most mad at me about was having Gwen. And now that you love the thing that you love best about me is Gwen.

Yeah, well, you've been a great mom for Gwen, considering your setbacks, you know, your personality. your needs, your neediness, all those things.

But you need to be proud of what you're doing because you're doing a great job. I mean, everything you're doing is really great, except for all this insane flag bailing we're doing.
I don't know.

And since when do we add the L word, L into the word? I don't understand this.

So these are for care bears? Is that correct?

This, you know, all that aside, this is nice to see. You know, I know Muzzie has pissed us all off, including me.
But this is actually very nice to see this scene. I really like it.

It's two weeks in a row where Muzzie has had decent scenes. I'm not saying the best.

I know she called her an oopsie last week, but you know, some of our moms just talk to us that way and it's, it's their way of being cute.

But it's nice seeing it, you know, and as someone who's always had a up and down, mostly, you know, when I was younger, mostly down relationship with my mom, I have a very difficult mom and I can be very difficult as well.

And I've, you know, talked about it on this show for years.

Me and my mom have come to a place and a lot of it has had to do with us both just letting go of shit from the past and also just letting go of shit from the present because there's just not anything we're going to do to change.

And it has been worth it to me because there have been times where I think we both could have just cut each other off and gone no contact and done all that stuff.

And we've actually put in the work to not do that. And honestly, the biggest piece of that work has both of us has been both of us shutting our fucking mouths a lot of the time.

And it frustrates us both, but I think that it has worked. And so it is very good for me.
I feel really good and I'm really happy with it.

And I'm really touched to see it happen for Bronwyn too, because it's not easy, girl. And it's nice to see that on TV, you know?

I know people still want to throw Muzzy overboard, but

I'm going to give it to her for this, this one. I feel for her.
Well, I'm proud of Muzzy because normally it takes two seasons to have these scenes.

You have your season where you get like trashed by the audience. And then the next season, you've like seen it all and you come back, you're like, This is the new me.
I'm a nicer.

And this is kind of like when they took Dancing with the Stars and made it like a one-night affair. Like it used to be, they would dance on one night, and then you get the results the next night.

And then they decided, No, we're going to do it all in one episode. And that's like basically what they're doing here.
She's like, You know what?

Like, I was bad earlier in the season, and I'm already having my redemption scenes in the same season. And it's like they just accelerated it.
So, like, good for her.

Yeah, she's all making that with Lynn in the corner.

Um, oh, R.I.P.

Yeah, So, oh, he died. Yeah, he died.
I stopped watching that show.

So

they have a nice little scene and she's like, you know, but I am proud of you. And she goes, but I need to hear it.

And she's like, okay, Bronwyn, but I am proud of you, you know, and I don't say it a lot because I just don't like saying stuff like that. It's disgusting, you know.
But

I've always wanted to make you and Bronwyn's like, well, I've always wanted to make you proud of me, mother. And I've always wanted you to think I did something worthwhile.

She's like, well, I am proud of you because look at you. You've got a Bob.
Your daughter has got a Bob and I've got a Bob. What more do you need to say? I'm a winner.

What's the opposite of generational trauma? Generational Bob Ma. Okay.
That's what we have. Barberational trauma.

Barberational trauma.

She's like, but you know, you know, yours, you know, and, you know, look, you always went around telling Gwen crazy things like you're the best thing or the smartest or you're so pretty.

You know, things that you just would never tell a child. And you did it.
And, you know, it's working out pretty well.

Well, we just did it different, mom. Yeah.
You did it the lazy, stupid way and I did it the tough way. But I guess, look, she wound up with the Bob at the end of the day.

So, you know, as they all say, at the end of the day, you get a Bob for a Bob. And that's where we all are.
So, you know what? I'm okay. You did good, kid.

I like when she said, you know, but you didn't like the way I raised you being judgmental all the time. And so you changed it and you changed the cycle.
And that's great. Good for you.
You know? Yeah.

your, your confidence in doing things incorrectly is to be commended, Bronwyn. And look at the way Gwen just rolled her eyes at you at the bonsai store.

It just goes to show you can be judgmental or not judgmental. They're still going to hate you for it.
So might as well be judgmental and have fun with it.

And then Muzzie subtly reminds us that Bronwyn is bad in another way. You know, she's like, well, I would give you a hug, but I know how much you hate that.
She goes, yeah, I, I, no, no hugs.

She goes, yeah, you pass that on to Gwen. Look at her.
You're Bob Shield.

both of you walking around with a bob shield she's like yeah i'm prickly mother i'm like a hedgehog do not touch me okay okay we're good i thought you were gonna i thought you were gonna hug me but okay

no i know that my mom sees that i've done things differently but in a way that's been successful but for her to be able to voice that like to be be willing to say it and be willing to say it to me is a huge step for her and i think that like Sometimes you just have to hear it.

That's why you get a bob. So you have less hair in front of your ears so you can hear the things.
Yeah. And she's like, I just, this is all I wanted, mom.

This is all I wanted was it to be.

She's like, oh, God, there you go. Off the deep end.
Okay. Well, now I'm finding out, too, that you made the spreadsheet wrong.
And so the road or the circle or the drive goes on the next line.

Oh, God. You just screwed over all the gays.
Good job, Ronwyn. Pretty serious.
Can we end the scene already? I think I've been nice enough to my daughter. I don't know why you're still filming me.

I've only got spreadsheet content left. The camera pulls back.
We just see her strangling a gerbil in her left hand. That's trying to make it through the scene.

So now it's time for the main event.

We go to Angie K arriving at like a loading dock.

She's dressed like Betsy Ross. She's got like a little bonnet in her hair and she, I think she has a, she has a flag.
Maybe she has a basket. I don't know.
I may be just

misremembering a basket. There's probably no basket.

But either way, she's there and she's just standing on this like industrial loading dock in the middle of a parking lot and she's as confused as we are.

Listen, it's not real housewives of Salt Lake City if someone's not filming something at a U-Haul rental center. Seriously.

So Heather is like, I have no idea because Heather, Whitney, and Brittany are in a car. And Heather's like, I have no idea what today is all about, but I love a theme.

I love a theme as much as I love sisterhood, which is what we have. So she just said, get out of the loading dock, right? That's all we have to do.

And Brittany's like, well, we have to meet her on a platform. And that part is just so confusing.
A platform. What's a platform? Okay, someone settle down, Brittany.

Okay, you think that's the most confusing part? I thought I was dressing up like Hamilton was confusing.

So then Lisa and Meredith are in their car, and Meredith's like, what do we have going on?

I don't know. You know, we're just going to some warehouse place, I guess.
Like, where the hell are we going?

Yeah, where are we going to? So now Angie's still waiting alone. She's like, I still don't know if I'm in the right place.
I swear this is the address she gave me.

Now it's like no surprise that like in the previews for next week, they wind up going to Greece because Angie K's probably like,

yeah, I spent a lot of money on this outfit just to wear it at a loading dock. So I'm going to need us to go to someplace nice.

Yeah, I've had enough of this crap. So now back in the Whitney car.
She's like, Brittany, how are you? I haven't seen you since my house. And she's like, well, I did meet Meredith in the park.

And Whitney's like, why the park? Because you're on Salt Lake City. Where else would you meet?

You've already gone to the two restaurants that'll allow you into in town. Sorry, the parking lot with the mound of dirty snow has been booked.
So you'll have to go to the park.

Sorry, the resty chain link fence is busy today. I know.

Well, if Meredith called me to meet me at the park at high noon, I would say no thanks.

It just seemed like a duel, right? Like it seems like walk 10 paces and turn around and shoot. Like, isn't that like funny?

I love that brittany who is a child of musical theater dressed like hamilton doesn't even realize like can't even make a hamilton joke right there she doesn't even realize the link she's like it's really funny right it's almost like we're two founding fathers but we're having a duel like god that's so funny huh anyway it seemed like she was just like not contributing enough to apologize when i talked to her and then i said okay well i can see that what i said was a trigger and it was shady because it was

and whitney's like by the way whitney also did her, the makeup on her lip in such a way that her top lip looks like it's touching her, her, her, uh, nose. She like overdid her line.

She like made it extend too high. So she looks kind of crazy this entire scene.
She's like,

so she didn't address verbally attacking you?

Then what did she apologize for? Hurting my feelings. And they just roll their eyes.
And

so meanwhile, in the other car, Meredith is like, well, we agreed to treat each other with kindness and respect. Oh, but that's not going to last long.

So Heather's like, wait a minute. So you forgive her and you guys are friends now? And she's like, well, maybe we'll never be friends, but I just don't want to harbor anger.

And Whitney's like, wait, you're going to accept her apology like a step forward? Well, I'm proud of you because I don't think I could do it.

And she's, she's, they're mad, of course, because their pawn in this has now settled things, which means that they're going to have to go into this fight against Meredith alone because Britney has now left their side.

And let's also not forget that the reason they're in this fight with Meredith is because Meredith refused to join their side against Lisa on that boat.

Remember when they called Meredith in and were like, We're going to go after Lisa, you're going to do it with me? And then Meredith refused. And then, guess who they went after? Meredith.

Immediately after Meredith refused to be their little bestie and film with them, they turned her into an alcoholic and a pill popper.

Well, and rumors, she's probably already an alcoholic and a pill popper.

So Wendy is like, I'm glad it made Brittany feel good that Meredith gave her an apology, but I would like Meredith to take accountability with everyone because Meredith accused us of lying about it.

Yeah, because you were lying about it. In my humble opinion, you were exaggerating, which is a form of lying.
Okay.

So now they arrive, and Angie's like, I thought I was tricked into this.

I thought I was invited to a costume party and you guys were coming in ball gowns.

We pioneered all the way over here. Oh, yes, you are Mormon pioneer.

So, Heather, so Whitney starts putting on lip gloss, and Heather's like, there was no lip gloss in colonial times, but you know what they did have in colonial times? A flask.

A flask I was able to carry because my daughters are moving out of the house, so I can have a flask. She's my new daughter now.

And then they show a picture of like George Washington on a bowl or some shit with a flask drawn in.

He's like, he'd be hard pressed to find a colonist without a flask.

So then now they're like, they're tasting, they're drinking from the flask and Angie K basically just sticks the whole thing in her mouth. Like, no, you're getting your lips.

You're supposed to just pour it into your mouth, not suck from it.

So Meredith comes in and they all get quiet again.

And

so they're also pissed because Lisa is not dressed properly. As usual, Lisa refused to do the costume.

Lisa is, yeah, she's sort of wearing a flouncy shirt or blouse that kind of suggests colonial times, but she's like, I'm not doing a costume. And Meredith is,

Meredith is like wearing some sort of like sack shirt that's like bundled. It's like a sack of money, but it's a shirt.
It's like all bundled at the top with like a drawstring. It's like,

this is, you know, it's up there with that. that crazy outfit she wore to the flower party.

I don't know.

She has some real funky looks, this Meredith Marks. Yeah.

You can't just say that you're Hamilton. You have to be Hamilton.
Well, maybe if you can cite the Gettysburg's address. Yeah, I'm sure if I can, if I pull it up on my phone.

For scoring 40 years ago, Whitney was a batch, and she's still a batch 40 scores later.

Y'all, where's Mary? So Mary's running late, but in the meantime, this door opens up at the loading dock, and there's Bronwyn. And she's in this giant black dress, which is actually kind of cool.

And she is basically like, come on in. She's like, well, I've been studying for my American citizenships test to become a U.S.
citizen. So I love that everybody is humoring me with this.

So if you follow me, come on in here and we're going to play a game that I have constructed and I will get very mad at, even though I knew all along it was a game. Okay, come on in.

Oh my God, are you kidding me? This is all about citizenship. How did I not know this? I would have just called ICE a season ago.

So Bronwyn is like, Um, well, I think we have to really channel a founding fathers. Look, so everyone have a wig.
So, there's a an array of powdered wigs out on the table for everyone to use.

And, um, and Bromwin's like, I'd like to

have you step back to 1773.

And they're all confused because I feel like they don't even understand. Like, no one knows, no one knows what the fuck is going on, which is great.

Yeah.

Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two.

See you over there, suckers.

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