S2 EP24: Tim Key

Starting a business can seem like a daunting task, unless you have a partner like Shopify.

They have the tools you need to start and grow your business.

From designing a website to marketing to selling and beyond, Shopify can help with everything you need.

There's a reason millions of companies like Mattel, Heinz, and Allberds continue to trust and use them.

With Shopify on your side, turn your big business idea into...

Sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.com slash special offer.

Podcasts, there are millions of them.

Some might say too many.

I have one already.

I don't have any, because there are enough.

Politics, business, sport, you name it.

There's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.

But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.

Why is that?

Are they scared?

Too afraid of being censored by the man?

Possibly, but not us.

We're here to ask the only question that matters.

We'll try and say it at the same time, Max.

What did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday?

That's it.

All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.

Day before yesterday, Max?

Nope.

The greatest and most interesting day of your life?

Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it.

I'm Max Rushton, and I'm David O'Daugherty.

Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

hello welcome to this episode hello and welcome to oh wow i know i've threatened to do this so many times

yeah do it go on but do you think it'll upset the listeners i don't think our listeners are upsettable

hello and welcome to this week's what did you do yesterday with me don't know how i feel about this yeah Yeah, it feels wrong.

It feels like I'm the other guy.

But I don't want you to think you're the other guy.

hello okay i should have gone at it harder then yeah yeah yeah you should here we go yeah you lean in with quite a lot of attitude yeah hello and welcome to what did you do yesterday with me david adherty i'm joined by max hello

episode did you want more from me just series two

episode blah blah blah do you know i had a thought david which was Series one ended and series two seems to be going on forever.

And I just wonder if we should end series two do we need a cliffhanger are we waiting for a cliffhanger to end series two or should we just end should we just say this is the end of series two now

should we just say this episode is the end of series two and we'll be away from a while because you know we've both got many other but we're not going to be away we're just going to be back i know that but i know that but like if we say both of us our diaries are just completely mad yeah sinking our diaries is really hard this will be the end of series two we hope to be back soon and then obviously we're just back in three days but like

maybe people will realize now we will be back in three days.

But I think it might be good to end series two soon and have series three.

Not it's not our decision, obviously, because we're just the performing monkeys and all of this.

The intro again.

Oh, really?

Okay.

Hello, and welcome to this, the final episode in series two of What Did You Do Yesterday with me, David O'Dahurley.

I'm joined by Max.

Hello, Max.

Is this the last episode of series two?

I didn't know that.

We're joined this week

by a polymath.

I mean, we do discuss an other polymath during it, but of

the people that I grew up with and have been doing comedy with for 20 years, Tim Key.

Tim Key.

Yeah.

He is the star, one of the stars, along with Tom Baston, Carrie Mulligan, of the ballad of Wallace Island, the first feature film that he has written.

He has a new book of poetry.

All of his poetry is incredible.

His new book is called LA Baby.

He performs the most unique.

How would you describe his show?

You love his live shows.

I loved him, Key.

Yeah.

He's just a funny bastard.

It's just really, fucking funny.

That's it.

I can't describe it in any other way.

But I've interviewed him a few times on Talksport, and I sort of can't do it because I'm just laughing.

So for the tape we have just finished recording so i was just quite pleased that i said some words during it not in a i wasn't starstruck him and i we're from the same you know neck of the woods yeah we've never really crossed paths we've got as close to a dm of yeah well let's have a pint and that's as far as it's gone yeah but we've never got beyond the actually you know the real life actually doing it but yeah we went to his show in uh melbourne last year uh the one he did about lockdown which was amazing yeah and i think i saw him many years ago on a round stage.

I mean, I can't remember where, but yeah.

The guy is very funny.

And I mean, I know about you.

He's got potential to go sort of really like

this film, I don't know, but like, he's obviously like incredibly successful.

But I think he could go to the next film is extraordinary.

I mean, we've both watched it.

It's beautiful.

It's really, really, I was crying like a, I was weeping at times.

It's so lovely.

Did you, hey, Max, because the PR sent it to me as a sort of download, which was very good of them.

It wasn't on the full screen.

Is that what you're saying?

Yeah, I couldn't figure out how to cast it to the telly.

So I just watched it on my laptop.

I watched it on my laptop, but it was only like, it was in widescreen.

So I had it on.

My laptop was on the cot and Willie Rushton was asleep on me.

But it was only taking up like two-thirds of the screen.

So I could see all the icons at the bottom of the MacBook.

And I could see a bit of my screensaver, which is just sort of like a forest but like the film was I tell you what I will say is the film was so good that I didn't think about the forest or the icons or like my WhatsApps going up slowly and thinking I wonder who that is I wonder who that is also I couldn't move I couldn't move because Willie was asleep and he slept as I tell Tim for almost all of it so I was just I actually had pins and needles in my hand but yeah it's a really lovely I don't know if that's how when they wrote the film how they expected you to watch it but

but I really love I mean I loved it yeah so good I love all of this notice the little quick time logo that was bobbing up and down at the bottom of the screen yeah yeah the boinging spotify going boing boing boing stop boinging please spotify yeah it's a whistle-stop tour of a day isn't it from Tim Key got a very exciting start some things that we need one day we'll learn about one day there's things that happen in this that we don't know about but we will find out about later and that'll be quite exciting.

This is what Tim Key did yesterday.

Tim Key, welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

Well, here we all are.

Fantastic.

Good to see you, Max.

Delighted to have you on.

It's nice to see you, Tim.

I'm a big fan.

And Mrs.

Rushton told me to tell you as I walked to the shed, she loves your poetry.

She loved your show.

And I should tell you those things.

It's all decent feedback.

I'm only here to learn.

Yeah.

She hasn't seen the film.

She will like the film, I would say.

She'll be in floods.

Would you say, Max?

Well, I saw the film.

I'm sad to report.

I watched it today, so I cannot talk about it because obviously I've watched it.

Come on, you're allowed to talk.

Hang on.

This gets back to

technical rules of the podcast.

That is big.

Yeah, can you talk me through the technical rules?

Technical rules are you have to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, tim yeah brilliant no silly buggers here yeah yeah and we're only interested in what you did yesterday david and i are occasionally allowed to veer off topic if i have an anecdote from bbc radio cambridgeshire or david has an anecdote about his bikes that's sort of the rules they're the rules what i had half an eye on on the day being a decent job oh good good i'm pleased to hear it yeah i think some decent things happened oh

in the evening someone asked me what i was doing today And I said, I'm doing a podcast called, what did you do yesterday?

They're a bit concerned I I might talk about their friend who put on weight.

Oh, really?

It's exciting.

We can get to that.

Because sometimes we spend too much time on the morning so we don't get to the evening.

But now we know we have the weight issues of a friend of a friend later on in the episode.

I'm looking forward to it.

It's not a bad question.

We've never asked a guest this, Max.

But as regards weighting the day, though, in terms of importance, where do you want us to concentrate on more?

This is without giving anything away.

I think there's some decent stuff happening throughout the day.

Great.

I think you could find a sort of six out of ten anecdote basically at any given hour.

Oh, this is really exciting.

In a way, the fun way would be to just pick different times and get those anecdotes.

Why don't we do that?

Just give me a time and I'll tell you what I've got to do.

The listeners demand it to be done chronologically.

It's not memento yet.

When we get Guy Pierce, we will ask him in a random order.

Or Tarantino, of course.

But for you, Tim, when did you wake up yesterday?

Take a guess.

Oh, a quiz.

8.10.

Hang on.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

This week, someone sent us, someone had listened back to every episode we've done, which is 40 maybe, and the times that all of our guests got up.

So when you tell us what time you got up, Tim, I will be able to go back to the list and tell you what guests you are closest to.

Okay.

So I'm going to say, I mean, who's got a similar vibe to you?

Katie Tunstall.

Yeah, she was an excellent guest, was Katie.

Yes.

Lineker.

Gary Lineker got up at 8.30, whereas Ellis James got up at 7.34.

So I would put you between those two.

So I'd say you get up around 5 past 8.

Yeah, no, 4.35.

4.35 a.m.

4.35.

For any particular reason.

So the bell rang.

the buzzer.

Right.

So I was asleep.

I was disorientated, but it seemed it it was Amazon.

It's an early delivery.

Yeah.

Early delivery.

Yeah.

Went to the door, naked.

And then it was sort of a toss-up between pressing unlock or lifting the receiver.

Yeah.

I decided to lift the receiver.

I don't know why.

I didn't know what time it was.

The guy said, Can I come in?

What?

Yeah.

I said,

Well, who are you?

I need to come in.

I said, Well, hang on, who are you here to see?

He said, flat three.

And I said, okay, well, you should phone flat three.

He said, my phone's out of battery.

I said, who are you coming to see?

He said, Martin.

Martin doesn't live in flat three.

I said, I would try flat three again and put the phone down.

Do you know what?

It's very impressive how you instantly went detective because I'd have probably

just pressed the buzzer and then had to deal with the

I think I'm I'm very much oppressed the buzzer, ask questions later.

But on this occasion, something didn't quite add up.

But I still didn't know what time it was until I looked at the oven and took an hour off.

He buzzes again, and I'm thinking, I don't really want this guy.

I mean, he's already told me he's not interested in me.

He wants Martin.

Mine doesn't exist.

So as soon as he's into the main building, he's looking for the closest thing to Martin, I'm guessing.

I.E.

me

4 35 is too early for a parcel or anything like that this is a personal visit i don't know whether you've ever listened to an anecdote before in your entire life but i said i didn't know what the time was

until i looked at the oven and took an hour off right so you looked at the oven and then he rings again looked at the oven and took an hour off yeah are you back in bed when he rings again no i'm still lurking naked right okay looking naked going sort of flitting between the oven and the the um and the intercom okay then I hear the gate my neighbor has recently put glued felt to the gate so it doesn't clang quite so much but it still does so that needs a bit of work I hear the gate clatter I then try and try and look out the window to see him but I never do see him again and then I make my way back to bed but obviously that's done I can't it's 435 then I'm sort of I mean I didn't think of it at the time but really it's the perfect start to the what did you do yesterday preparations

yeah so so did someone else he rang on someone else's buzzer i don't know how many people you know are in this i do okay

well tell us three

three there's only three so he's rung on three someone's let him in no no the gate Crucially right, he's gone back out.

He's not, oh, it's not a buzzer.

Right, I'm with you.

He's gone back out into the world.

I'm not worried anymore.

Okay, right.

No, don't be worried.

He sounded, I mean, well, what do you think?

You're the hosts.

What was this guy up to?

We've never encountered this exact thing before,

but 4.35 sounds to me like Martin has told people there might be a bit of a shindig

back behind the gate at 435.

Do you think

I had him more down as a sort of, you know, like a Frankenstein figure, you know, where he finds that blind guy?

No, I think it is a serial killer, but one who really lacks ambition.

So if he doesn't get in the first time, he's like, I'll just do it tomorrow.

It's an unambitious dream to kill a poet

unless one of your poems is getting too close to the truth you know what i mean this is a very modern idea well i probably have got like a poem about someone called martin but it's amazing to track the poet down because it wouldn't be about him and also he's not called martin he wants to find someone called martin he wants to find martin but good luck finding martin when the only person living in three as far as i know is gavin

it is interesting when you think back and I have never thought about this but the number of poets who ultimately met their demise at the hands of people that they'd poeted about right chaucer heaney really

no no probably not actually I think that I don't know what happened to Chaucer I don't know what happened to Chaucer gout I think it was probably gout But was it gout yesterday?

If not, let's move on.

Okay, so 4.35.

So this is probably, well, this has taken 10 minutes or so, this whole situation.

Do we go back to sleep?

Are we up?

Is it one of those situations?

We go back to bed, but we don't go back to sleep.

We can't.

We're thinking about Martin's pursuer.

It rattles you because, I mean, the day before, I'd seen some crime, and we can't really dwell on that.

We can't.

Damn it.

So there's a sort of feeling of unease and a feeling that there's something up in London.

You know, and then

I'd read a tweet by Thomas Skinner from The Apprentice saying that London's not what it used to be and there should be a tough one.

So all this is swirling around in my mind.

I see.

He said, Bosch.

Bosch.

Let's take him out.

Yeah, okay.

People are ringing on doorbells at 4.35.

Bosch.

Yeah.

Welcome to Only Murders in the Building.

The official podcast.

Join me, Michael Cyril Creighton, as we go behind the scenes with some of the amazing actors, writers, and crew from season five.

The audience should never stop suspecting anything.

How can you not not be funny crawling around on a coffin?

Catch Only Murders in the Building official podcast.

Now streaming wherever you get your podcasts and watch Only Murders in the Building, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Terms apply.

If you thought goldenly breaded McDonald's chicken couldn't get more golden, think golder because new sweet and smoky special edition gold sauce is here.

Made for your chicken favorites at Participate in McDonald's for limited time.

Tires matter.

They're the only part of your vehicle that touches the road.

Tread confidently with new tires from Tire Rack.

Whether you're looking for expert recommendations or know exactly what you want, Tire Rack makes it easy.

Fast, free shipping, free road hazard protection, convenient installation options, and the best selection of BF Goodrich tires.

Go to tire rack.com to see their BF Goodrich test results, tire ratings, and reviews.

And be sure to check out all the special offers.

TireRack.com, the way tire buying should be.

I did a crime last week.

I put a watering can

into...

I'm allowed to do this, Tim.

You're not allowed to do this.

I put a watering can that had a hole in it into a skip up the road and it's still there and it makes me feel good.

Not your skip.

Not my skip.

No, it's a crime.

It's a crime.

And do I feel like doing more crime now?

Do I feel like calling into people at perhaps 4.35?

Maybe.

Yeah, it could be with this guy.

I think that would add another layer of the person calling in at 4.35 is David Odopazi.

I think so.

During the BBC London breakfast show glory year of 2007, it must have been, we did Skip Watch where we put a skip in the street

and just left it there for two weeks to see what would go in it.

You went fishing?

Yeah, I went fishing.

Trawling.

Yeah, I love that.

And what sort of stuff did you get?

Yeah, not a lot, but we really hammered the feature

We've got a hammer.

Yeah.

Did you ever consider getting a mate to just throw in a top hat or something?

We actually filmed a little promo for BBC Under News.

I was in the skip.

Yeah.

They didn't give me much more work after that.

On the TV news.

I don't know why.

That is.

Okay, so you're in bed.

How long are you in bed just trying to get back to sleep, thinking about the Martin Pursuit?

Yeah, I'd say it's an uneasy sleep until

a sort of fitful maybe

three hours.

Wow.

Okay.

Wow.

Yeah, stuck with it till about 7.30, I guess.

Are we watching little goals?

Are we watching little men hitting sixes in the cricket?

What are we watching on the phone?

No, I'm just...

I mean, I don't know.

Come on.

I would imagine probably typing the name of our film in and sort of seeing it's the loot.

We're in the thick of things, that's the problem.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

So three hours of that.

Did you feel good of like just checking how it was all doing?

Yeah, pretty good.

I was buoyed from the night before, which almost gets into what I did yesterday, but doesn't quite.

Well, if I'm emotional from the night before, can I say why I was emotional?

If you're still emotional,

then I guess that's a loophole.

So we had a screening of the film.

We'd made a film, me and Tom Basdin, called The Ballad of Wallace Island.

It's really good.

At the end of the Q ⁇ A, someone in the audience asked a question.

The question was, if I get my guitar, will you sing a song?

I said yes on his behalf.

And then she left the cinema and five minutes later came back with a guitar and then gave the guitar to Bazden and he sang a song from the film.

And it was beautiful.

Yeah, he's good at it, isn't he?

He is,

well, I have no hesitation in saying it, world-class or certainly the one just down from that.

Right.

Sort of Europa League.

He's Europa League level guitar singer.

Singer-songwriter.

Yeah, he's League One level as a guitarist and singer.

No, I would say the guy is the guy is world class.

He's phenomenal.

Did you try and sing Kerry Mulligan's harmonies along with it?

What a great point.

Didn't even consider it.

And I was holding the mic.

It was, you know, it was very ad hoc.

I was holding the mic to his famous lips.

Griff, the director, was holding the other mic to his strings.

And then in the middle of it, you've got this sort of, you know, crooner bashing out his hits.

I feel like this is beyond now emotion.

Now, what did you do the day before yesterday?

I think it is.

We don't want to get into that.

But for what it's worth, I'll watch the French Open final.

Sorry, carry on.

7.30 a.m.

7.30 a.m.

Off to the cafe.

Okay.

Off to the cafe.

Nice cafe.

Local?

My regular cafe.

Yeah.

Oh, great.

Okay.

And I ordered what it used to be called.

It used to be called.

Come on.

No, it used to be called Bulldog and Soldiers.

And then they revamped the menu.

Right.

It's now really tough to order, but it's now called Kid Stippy Eggs.

And they also had something on the menu recently called Beanie Weenies.

I mean,

it's a disgrace.

That cat face a disgrace.

Do they cut up the toast for you into soldiers?

Does it come pre-soldiered?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, they cut it up.

They don't make train noises and feed me it, but they do cut it up.

It's one step away.

It's one step away.

Okay.

And do you have a hot drink alongside this?

Brilliant.

this is great what a lovely podcast i do i have a black coffee great i always get a black coffee and a small orange juice and kids dippy eggs right and how many eggs do you get in a kid's dippy eggs one just one one but my friend ema when she comes she gets two okay but she wasn't there yesterday no went on my own just you know trying to get my head around things good stuff oh wow is the cafe busy at this time 7 30.

oh i guess people are this is the monday so you've probably got a few people getting ready for there was a bank holiday wasn't it wasn't it a king's birthday or was that just in australia that we had that bank holiday yeah no bank holiday here oh really no that seems silly doesn't it yeah they're obsessed here totally obsessed here in fact when the queen died

we were about to do i think a europa league game we were taken off air because the Today show from Channel 9 needed to be in the biggest studio because you can't be sad in another studio.

So I just got an early flight back to Melbourne and I'd just gone and done 15 minutes of football for this radio show before.

And they started talking about the royal family.

And I just said, it's weird how obsessed Australia is with the royal family.

I get on the plane, the queen's just died.

And literally on my phone, on Twitter, it just goes, you have to see

Max Rushdon's rant about the royal family.

And I'm like, oh, no.

Holy fuck.

Like, this is really bad timing.

Cause I hadn't said anything bad about the Queen.

It's just.

lie low if you're going to say anything on this particular day.

And so then I had to, I messaged everybody I knew that radio station and then the plane took off and I was like, in an hour, I may land and be killed as I land.

May just be hung as I land, babe.

Like the lady from the boat.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Did you have to issue a statement?

Did you have to clarify your previous remarks, Max?

Me and Jamie had to stand outside the front door with our children.

Yeah.

And I basically just said I'd been having an affair to take them off the scent.

That seemed the smartest thing.

Sorry, back on track, Tim.

You've got to hard out.

Yeah, hard out.

So there was a man next to me who was an old man.

And he was paying more for his parking than his breakfast.

Interesting.

Yeah.

That's a classic older man thing to say to you.

Well,

he told the waiter that.

And then when the young lady came that he was having breakfast with, he told her that.

And she was also paying more for her parking than her breakfast, but she lived a five-minute walk away.

Well, these people shouldn't have got beenie, weenie-weenies then.

Beanie, weenie-woos.

Yeah,

if you pay that much for parking, don't get the beanie-weenie woos woos and the kids' dippy eggs.

Do you strike up a conversation or do you just stick to yourself and then get out of there?

How long are you in the cafe?

I'm not a striking up conversation kind of a guy.

I'm in the cafe for 50 minutes.

Okay.

And are you just checking on the film still while you're there as well?

Are you still doing that?

Yeah, I'm on my phone just checking on the film.

Okay.

It's like a Emperor Penguin and his egg.

I see, I see.

My phone is on my foot and I'm sort of crouching over it, just making sure the film's going okay.

And how does that manifest itself?

Is that just checking what people have said on social media about the movie?

Or are you looking at, say, are you looking at like box office?

What have you smashed between 6:30 and 7:30 a.m.?

You don't even want to know.

I mean, it's ugly, some of the stuff I'm looking at.

I'm taking a deep dive.

Okay.

I'm checking what it's up to on Rotten Tomatoes.

How's it going?

98% on Rotten Tomatoes.

That's pretty good, eh?

Keezy, can I just ask you, is it because in the past you've been a star of the Silver Screen for many years now, but

it does seem that when you were in Terminator 7 or whatever your last movie was, you wouldn't have been constantly checking Rotten Tomatoes to see the reviews of it.

Is it, do you feel much more personally involved in the are you sick of this film yet?

That's what I mean.

No, this is our film.

So we're very emotionally invested in it.

Yeah.

And we have a lot of passion for it.

We love it.

And I suppose we're in this sort of window where the film will sort of have its kind of life in cinemas.

It doesn't excuse checking things, but we're kind of quite proactive.

We do things like Basdan last week went into a cinema in Hampstead and said, I'm in this film, Ballad of Wallace Island.

And they said, yeah.

Do you have any tickets?

He's like, no, no, I don't want to see it.

I'm wondering if you wanted to do a Q ⁇ A.

And so that's the state we're in.

We're doing a QA there on Sunday.

And I don't think that's how Daniel DeLewis is setting up his QA's.

Bounston just waddling around hamsters looking for cinemas.

This reminds me of my mother at the height of Danger is Everywhere fever when I had that children's book out.

Yeah.

She would simply take copies of it and place them all around the bookstore, put them in staff picks,

put them in top 10.

It did not.

You can't go in the staff pick.

That's naughty.

The staff pick.

People pay for the staff pick, don't they?

Yeah, I think it's all paid for, but no one announced around.

And then also hilariously ordering copies of it.

In fairness, she would buy them and give them to people, but there is something funny about Do You Have Dangerous Everywhere by David O'Doherty?

No, we can get it in.

What's the name?

Anne O'Doherty.

Yeah, even in Ireland.

It's the Yellow Pages advert, isn't it?

J.R.

Hartley.

J.R.

Hartley.

My dad, just to check I'm doing okay still, will always message me to tell me that I'm still in the Radio Times for the Talk Sport shows.

The last person to buy the Radio Times, but he's always still in the Radio Times, must be good.

So, you know, it doesn't say anything about the show, just the name.

Just the name, just there, and then put that in there.

Well, the film's going well because

Graham emailed, who's a friend of my parents, and he emailed saying, congratulations on the film.

Someone from band practice has seen it.

okay.

So it's it must be 8.20.

It must be 8.20, maybe 8.30 even.

What are you up to now, Tim?

I phone my friend.

It's time to speak to someone.

Okay, that's it.

And I phone my friend Johnny Sweet, the Mercurial talent.

And that takes me all the way into town.

That's a one-hour phone conversation.

What do you talk about?

Life.

Oh, wow.

On the bus or are you walking into town?

Oh, getting the steps up.

I did.

If you really want to know, steps-wise, yesterday was 21,000.

Wow, I'm excited to know if I was higher or lower.

That will do you'll be lower.

You'll be lower than that.

You'll be lower than that.

That's a bit of a shame, yeah, because I've had some big days recently.

I had a 23,000 the other day, but yeah, yesterday, because I played football, so that doesn't know.

Hang on, the phone doesn't know that, though.

No one's going to carry it with me.

Yeah, you're right.

I'm only 11,000.

It's a pretty average day for me.

Well done.

That's a good day.

Not at all.

Now we'll rattle through this.

Next bit is

not the whole thing.

I'm just going to like.

The next thing is booth reckey.

Uh-huh.

What's that?

To check that this booth.

This is the booth.

I'm in the booth.

Oh, right.

You're in a booth?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

But I wanted to do a booth reckey just to check that I could do the podcast from here.

This is at my

talent agency.

I'm talent.

Yeah.

And then...

How do you feel about the word talent to describe?

Because when I was at Sky, these are talent.

No, I understand.

I believe Tim Tim Key's a talent but at Sky

the presenters had to park there was literally it said talent and I just felt uneasy for me to put my wire edge Cleo you have to accept that you're a talent

it says it in the contracts yeah it does say it does yeah it is true here to forever after known as the talent like that's what it'll say at us

the booth is nice I like it The booth is good.

The booth, it's not completely soundproof, so you know, it's probably disrupting people's work.

But it's good, you know, it's a good setup, you know.

I had to do this because having a meeting directly after this, and so it's just for timings, otherwise, you know, everything gets scrunched, doesn't it?

So, Booth Reckie, then off to Global to do an interview with Emily Maitlis.

No, okay.

Hang on.

That's the news agents.

That's a definitely world events-based podcast.

Yep.

So the film didn't come up, but we've got stuff into Yemen.

Yemen and a bit of LA.

Okay, that's good.

How long are you with Emily?

I used to work with Emily Maitlis, and

did you?

Yeah, at BBC London.

She probably went, and our breakfast show hosts

a skip and put it in.

She's probably in her mind going, These fucking idiots.

But I imagine she was hosting the DC on the news at the time.

Yeah, she exudes authority, Tim, I think.

Yep, she's classy.

She's confident.

She's intimidating.

Yeah.

She's, well, luckily, she's very enthusiastic.

John Sopal was there as well.

That put me at ease in the, you know, terrifying environment of a news podcast.

But, you know, I was like emailing before just to, I was making it very clear.

In fact, I said, I don't want to do that, Emily, when she

asked me to do it.

And then she said, it's fine.

We won't talk about news.

And I said, promise.

I had certain assurances.

And then at one point, John Sopal said, why didn't you want to talk about the news?

I know what to talk about the news.

I mean, honestly, to go on the news agent and talk about the news, that'd be crazy.

A few things here.

You've got Maidlis's number.

That could be fun in the future, just when you're in the park and it's a nice evening.

Maidlis, you've got to come and have a few cans, something like that.

I certainly would not put that past her.

Would you?

A full pack of Hofmeister?

She'd have a giant can of faxi.

Do you remember those?

It was like, oh, you remember a big

and it had a, it was like the last old wrinkle.

And it was like two or three pints.

It was so warm by the end of it.

But I think Maitlis is a faxy.

She's a faxy drinker.

That would be my guess.

I have one thing in common with Maitlis, which is the first two times I asked you to do this podcast, Tim, you just responded, capitals, no.

Yeah.

Well, they do say that the the second best thing of the yes is a very quick polite no.

Capitals is not polite.

It's politer than small letters, isn't it?

I always think capitals means you're sort of being polite.

Hang on, what have I been doing?

Take it.

Did you watch the Prince Andrew interview to prep yourself for Maitless, just so you know all her tricks?

I watched the most recently, well, I can't tell you when I watched it.

It wasn't yesterday.

But I haven't watched that.

I didn't re-watch it yesterday.

If your prep had been to go to that Pizza Express in Woking or whatever it was, that would have been the way I suspect most guests on the news agent.

What's the nightclub called ah yeah that's a good question

wasn't a fez was it wasn't a fez no no it's not a fez now

it was called like something like skank or something isn't it

skanky

skanky who's going to skanky well prince andrew is going to skank he is yeah absolutely oh yes it was it was the posh one uh i don't know i've never been it goes well despite so pal like technically i don't want to talk about the news And then he asks you, why don't you want to talk about the news?

Is talking about the news.

I think you could have walked out at that moment.

Oh, I think I should have.

I think that should have been earpiece out.

Yeah.

Get my BGs on.

Yeah.

I'm getting my BGs on next week, I think, with Clive Anderson.

Oh, yeah.

Great.

Walk out of the Clive Anderson one.

Oh, yeah, okay.

I understand that reference now.

It took me a while.

It's late.

Malaysian food for lunch.

And that was genuinely because I was doing this podcast today.

I thought,

for lunch, I can't get a prep.

And then I went past this Malaysian Singapore sort of restaurant near Leicester Square and thought I should probably go in there in case there's some fun happening in there.

And was there any fun?

Well, no, it was just too much food really for lunch.

Anyway, left without paying.

So that's an anecdote in itself.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

Is that because the film's doing well?

You're able to do that?

Just point the rotten tomatoes at them and sale out?

I think it would be because the film was going badly as well.

I'd be walking out without paying.

No, I did remember and go back in and pay.

Right.

What's a Malaysian Singaporean fusion meal setting you back?

Was it, I mean, more or less than parking, if you were to have parked?

It's parking times 1.5.

Wow, interesting.

From what I can gather from the old man's anecdote, I think he was paying £12.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, that makes sense.

What did you have?

It was called Sonite Straight Chicken, which was chicken on the bone, in a coconut curry sauce.

with a jasmine rice and a sparkling water.

But I already took a sparkling water in as well I had had at the news agents so i had two sparkling waters on the table one that i brought in and one fresh

and i went for a wee okay good stuff is that your first wee of the day no i went for a wee after the martin incident

about 4 30 is about the right time anyway okay so where are we off to after our malaysian feast Okay, then we're off to high-powered meeting on for undisclosed project.

Oh!

Hang on a second.

How many people in the room, Tim?

That's all we need to know.

Four.

Four, okay.

Oh, I've got us.

I've got us.

Oh, you've got it.

Basdan Mulligan Key Barrymore.

Yeah, it's Ballad of Wallace Island 2 featuring.

Strike it lucky.

Yeah, yeah.

No, they're remaking E.T.

It's true, Barrymore.

Oh, yeah, good.

No, but they're remaking it with Michael Barrymore, and that

makes it interesting.

And I take the role of the alien.

Okay, so there's four in the room.

And how long does the powered meeting take well it probably takes about two and a half hours

because i need to phone naomi before six

and

i'm looking at it and it's getting very 540

and

the the plan after that is phone naomi

and then go for a run right and then take away and then watch mountain men right we're still in the high powered meeting so my question is in the of the four do you know all the people can i just i'll give you a quick heads up none of that happened okay

back to the meeting okay okay back to the back to the meeting back to the meeting there are four of you in the meeting do you know all the people in there or is this like the first time you know everyone in there yep okay know them and like them know them and like them putin trump zelensky key

no okay two of them had the same name Surname or first name?

Nickname.

Or complete the same name.

Yeah.

Was it Gary Stevens?

Trevor Burrus, there used to be two Gary Stevens.

Gary Stevens.

Is it the two Gary Stevens?

The Rangers and the Everton one.

Yep.

It was the two Gary Stevens and Trevor Fenneck.

Terry Fennec.

Okay, but is the meeting your success?

Do you come out going, this thing that we can't talk about, it's going to happen and I'm excited about it?

No, no, no.

The meeting was

very useful.

There'll be another meeting, but there was progress.

Wow.

Okay.

okay so have enough meetings like this david zelensky has agreed to cede some of the donbar region it's not zelensky to terry fenneck yeah yeah i don't know why i'm having to talk about the news more in in what did i do yesterday than in the news agents

i'm just going to say one thing tim and it's advice more than anything yeah this film's great and it's doing great you're allowed to ring naomi during the meeting you can be the guy who just stands up raises one finger now and goes into the corner you know what i mean and just yabbers on to naomi to get that call in pre-6 p.m no am i wrong here i think i'm right i think there speaks someone who can't judge meetings

i've never been in a meeting it's true i don't have a clue you have to in a meeting in the cut and thrust of a meeting you have to just be constantly making calculations and you'll learn that as you go deeper into your career david quick question at the meeting are there little are there drinks is everything served more sparkling okay so okay okay okay so I've jettisoned the sparkling water by this point I've got a black coffee right and I've got earlier that day I went to a

a shop when I was walking from booth recyc to mateless

with my agent.

We went into a shop.

I bought the sparkling water, which would appear later, and I needed to get over £1.50.

So I had to buy, what do you think?

Chewing gum.

It's not gum.

And these are now, I'm handing these out, or rather, I'm tapping them out onto the table in the meeting.

It's a dime bar.

It's a dime bar.

And you know, you crushed it underneath.

I'm tapping them out.

Mint.

They're mints.

They're

smints.

Smints, Tim.

Very good, but I'm not tapping out Smint.

Yeah, here we go.

This is by a Pez dispenser with a...

No.

That wouldn't be.

You can't do that in meetings.

They are sweet.

sweet I would say this is the most famous sweet in the world

you tap them out you do nowadays you used to have to take the lid off and see what letter you had now it's made of cardboard and you tap them out smarties don't all have letters just smarties smarties I thought they just had an S on them no they used to have a on the underside of the lid they used to have a letter oh yes it did you're right okay so you bought just a little just a one tiny smarties for the whole meeting it was the one tiny smarties for the whole meeting okay and in this high powered meeting does anyone else is that the only thing that is consumed in the high powder meeting that is all that's consumed because the meeting is not one of those meetings which is kind of vaguely overlapping with breakfast or lunch this meeting is a discrete meeting at 4 p.m

It sounds like you're not like throwing ideas around.

There'd be lots of food around.

This is a...

Are there lots of laughs in this meeting or is it quite serious?

No laughs.

There's no laughs in this meeting.

It's It's quite serious, okay, and laughs.

But also, what you need to know is what happened next.

Yeah, let's go and have a quick pint afterwards.

All four of you?

Okay, yes, all four of us plus a fifth who joined in the pub.

And then there were lots of laughs.

Okay.

And there was also one joke that was made up that I wrote down.

Do you want to hear the joke?

Yes, please.

Yeah, yeah.

I live in a very odd house.

Three.

I live in a very odd house.

Sorry.

Yeah, that's quite good.

Back to the

meeting.

No.

No, I have one more question.

I have one more question.

Are the other three people in the room, in terms of levels of fame/slash talent, where do you sit in the four?

If you were to be asked who's the most famous person sitting in this pub or in this meeting, where do you rank?

Well, if truth be told.

And don't be humble.

Tell us the truth.

Well, if truth be told,

the other four are all people you would associate with their work behind the camera.

I see.

Okay.

I'm on more than nodding terms with the old pen.

Don't worry about that.

But I'm also no stranger to front of camera.

Yeah, that's true.

Increasingly.

Wow, Scorsese.

Yeah.

No, it's not Scorsese.

M-Night Shaloman.

Shaloman.

It's not Shaloman.

It's not Shaloman.

Shaloman.

I'm out.

Kubrick.

Kubrick.

Kubrick.

No longer with us.

Wow.

That's a turn-up for the next.

A weekend at Bernie's.

Dead Kubrick.

Dead Kubrick.

Knocking back the pints.

How many pints do you have, Tim?

Great question.

What happened was I drank the first sip of the pint and I,

in my own heart, knew.

that the run was not now on the cards.

Of course, that's right.

But they were free then.

That is a really liberating moment, isn't it?

I knew immediately there was a lot of good stuff in that pub.

We got mints, flavoured crisps,

all right.

Beef, mints.

Beef, mints, crisps.

Beef, mints, crisps.

Yeah, beef, mints, crisps.

I found out something.

Oh, yeah.

This is the theme of this next bit: is finding out someone knows who you are.

Okay.

But this happens a lot now.

Hang on.

Just to preempt this,

increasingly people are like that's bloody tim cheese from you're outside a lot of the cinemas now i sent you a picture the other day of me just going and the other one was like avengers multiplex domination in 6d and then and the other one was the ballad of wallace and grammar island

you're

big time but also there's quite a lot of that's the guy who left Hills Road Sixth Form College just before Max went to Hills Road Sixth Form College.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

What year did you start there, Max?

95.

There must have been someone in common who was in the first year in 94.

Yeah.

He was in the year below me and the year above you.

So Han, what's this?

Must be.

Is this like, because your education system is different to ours.

Is this just a class for when you're 17 and 18?

Yeah.

Is that what that is?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you both went to the same one.

Wow.

What did you study, Max?

Maybe we have the same teacher.

Oh, that's true.

I did double maths, history, and german well let me just tell you this yeah can i do one anecdote outside of the day we may not include it in the edit but you can't you might have to get rid of it but we went to do a screening in exeter which is basden's hometown and when they started the screening they paused it so that we could do an introduction i've never seen that really at a screening and then when they press play again they couldn't get it to work

They got the sound was working, but not the picture.

So then I'm upset with Basdan.

We're both thinking, well, they can't just show it without a picture.

So then I leave.

And then I'm running around the cinema looking for a projectionist.

Amazing situation.

And then as I'm trying to find a projectionist, a man says to me, ah, Tim Key.

And I look at this guy.

He looks at me and he goes, I taught you.

And I'm like, yeah, I mean, there's 150 people down there listening to our film, but okay.

Well, anyway, he was Mr.

Turner.

What did he teach?

He taught history.

Mr.

Turner, I had Mr.

Lang and Mr.

Mr.

Lang?

What?

Mr.

Lang.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Who asked you?

Who was your former tutor?

We don't have time for this.

Do you have Mr.

Lang?

I can push my meeting.

Mr.

Thomas was allergic.

Mr.

Thomas, as a math teacher, was allergic to chocolate.

Well, how can he be allergic to chocolate?

I don't know he was.

He had to lie horizontal on a desk.

for one lesson because he was allergic to chocolate.

I just finished a book where someone was allergic to fishes.

So it can happen.

Can happen.

We need an impersonation of one of these teachers from each of you.

And I invite Max to do the first one.

I just don't think I could do an impression of Mr.

Lang.

Come on.

I can still do impersonations of a lot of my teachers.

He was actually just a pretty sound guy.

In fact, he was really good because my coursework was shit.

And he said, if you redo it, I'll make it better.

And I did that.

And that really helped me get into university to study history.

So thanks mr lang there we go i think we've wrapped up our teacher section

i think so

no no no hang on i just need to know did you get it's then it's the sign of a great film that you can just listen to it with no visuals but did you get the visuals back in exeter i just need to know that we got the visuals back we started the film from the start again

and then afterwards i went to the pub with will adamsdale and mike wozniak and it was fantastic oh great okay so we're we're in we're in this pub how many pints

you haven't told us that yet jim i believe i had three pints of alpine lager because it was the samuel smith pub and then a half a pint of alpine lager and then an uber yeah and then back to where i live yeah same direction as um one of the people from the meeting and we went and had uh like last orders in

oh that's great wow it's 11 o'clock do you know what i think it was last orders i think it did get to 11 o'clock This is the shortest episode.

I mean, normally we haven't got to breakfast yet.

I mean, I know you've got a hard hour.

Well, we still haven't discussed who I found out knows who I am.

Oh, yeah, okay.

Who is that?

Well, because it's one of my heroes, and I found out that he knows who I am.

Was he in the pub?

No, there was an anecdote which necessitated him knowing who I am.

And then me pausing the narrator and saying, what are you talking about?

He knows who I am.

And them saying, yeah, he knows who you are.

And me saying, that's mad.

Dion Dublin.

Is it Dion Dublin?

If I found out that Dion Dublin knew who I was, I think that'd be me.

That'd be me.

Me all done.

I mean, I bumped into...

Can I just quickly do an anecdote from outside of yesterday?

You can, but usual caveats apply it.

I met John Murray, Conor McNamara, Jonathan Overund, and Cornelia Slicer in the pub.

Really good.

Yeah, and they knew who I was.

And John Murray.

Who are they?

Who the hell are they?

They're our most celebrated radio sports commentators.

They're with the opposition.

They're the five-live team.

You've got some celebrated ones down at old Talkie Sporty, haven't you?

Yeah, we do, of course.

Who's your favourite down there?

I mean, I love Hawksby and Jacobs.

But an actual commentator.

Oh, it's an actual commentator.

Do you know what?

I'm a big Joe Shannon fan.

As they go.

Wow, actually.

He's a youngster, but I think he's got the chops for it.

I think he's got a bright future as Shannon.

The hipster's choice.

All high quality.

Ian Danter is, you know, he is a super star.

Yes.

I never thought this would happen, but I really feel this has gone too niche for me.

This bread goes.

Oh, yeah.

No, good point.

Okay.

Good point.

Anyway, who have you been surprised by that they know who you are, David?

One time I was locking my bike, and a fella ran out and said,

You're that guy off Countdown, the TV show.

And I was locking my bike, and I was like, Yes, I am.

And I looked up and it was 1985 world snooker champion Dennis Taylor.

And he said,

if you want to come into Devotz, I'm having a pint with Stephen Hendry and Ken Daugherty.

And I went in for a pint with them.

Wow.

That's excellent.

That's very good.

Who's yours, Max?

I have nothing that competes with that.

Nothing that can compete.

I mean, it's probably some footballers back in the glory days.

Joe Swale.

I was once walking down the street and I was stopped by Bill Werbenek

and Tony Mio.

Wow.

There'll be many points.

Yeah, it would.

Key, narrow the genre.

Is it a writer or an actor?

I'd say maybe one of the most despicably talented products of the British Isles of the last 50 years.

Insanely, insanely talented.

Yeah, you know that I know you.

So why is that surprising?

This guy's working in a different universe.

Paul Daniels, the magician?

This guy's an amazing sportsman, but that's not what he's known as.

Oh, right.

This guy is a brilliant musician, not what he's known as.

What?

Is it Rick Armstrong?

Fantastic writer, novelist, not what he's known for.

And then what he's known for, a fantastic comedy actor and a world-class straight actor.

Can do the lot.

On screen.

He's got world class.

This guy's got everything.

Okay.

Yeah.

Is he old?

Is he old guy?

He's old guy, but he's not old guy.

I don't consider him old guy.

But if you looked at the dates, there's no way around it.

He's old guy.

Nigel Havers.

I think I'm taking five years off and adding 30% of talent on.

Okay, so he's five years younger than Havers and 30% more talented than Havers.

This is a really fun game.

And Havers is talented, believe me.

No, you can't knock Havers.

But only Havers has got the sport and the music in addition to the suave.

Have we got a published novel?

He's published a novel, yeah.

Maybe just the one.

i mean ardell o'hanlon pretty good he's published novels this guy is 10 years older and

it's difficult because i love ardell but i would say 10 more talented only because of his his reach is just extraordinary he's your he was probably your favorite max when you were about uh 15.

my favorite comedian or actor or in there in there probably would i'd probably have bob mortimer you know is that 10 years older no five years older same talent, same talent as Bob, five years older.

Is it Paul Whitehouse?

It's five years older.

Well, I don't know.

I mean, I love Paul Whitehouse, though.

But same talent.

Do you reckon we've all met him?

I once, just speak not of yesterday, I was once in a hotel breakfast.

and didn't have the courage to go over to him.

That's the closest I've been.

He's a really good sports person.

person and musician?

Sports novel, musician, actress.

That's the big four.

Iconic.

One, two,

I'd say two absolutely copper-bottomed, iconic roles.

Iconic.

I'd say probably three.

You have to say three.

Iconic.

Is it Morgan Freeman?

It's not Freeman.

Okay.

20 years younger.

2% better.

This guy's as English as hot buttered grumpets.

Is it Tim Henman?

I have have not seen a lot of his acting work but it's not henman his novel is bullshit henman's novel is i think i'm going to be embarrassed i haven't got it yet i just think that's the you know when it gets to that stage i'll be like i can't believe i haven't got it but i don't want you to tell us but i'm aware you have a heart out in 10 minutes

it's funny and then he gets funnier and then he goes okay

You think that was funny?

How about this?

And then he goes, oh, you think that was good?

How about this?

Billy Connolly?

10 years younger.

Same talent.

I'm always going to have same talent now.

Same talent as Connolly and more talent.

Yeah, they're all the same talent and then Havers is 30% less talented.

It turns out that Havers is the least talented of all.

Is it Bean?

Is it Mr.

Bean?

Now we're getting close.

Okay.

Same age, same talent.

Oh, Laurie.

He Laurie.

Whoa.

He knows Keesy.

This is what I am.

If this anecdote is anything to go by.

Right, Okay.

I am a meager blip on Hugh Laurie's radar.

Wow, that's big.

Has he written a novel?

I know the music thing, yes.

He wrote a novel called The Gunseller, I believe.

What are you putting as his two iconic roles?

House?

I'd say House and Bertie Worcester.

Yeah, probably.

But also, only because he sort of did lots of different roles in Black Adder.

I suppose Prince Regent probably would be

also.

It was funny the leap that we went from Deion Dublin to Hugh Laurie.

I think it took took about six steps to get from one to the other.

Do you know Deion Dublin, Max?

Yeah, I know Deion Dublin, yeah.

So to the listeners, I think we will have to everyone who knows who Deion Dublin is.

I know we have quite a big audience in the States.

Don't worry.

They all know.

But who doesn't know Deion?

He's featured in my new book, Deion Dublin.

Has he?

I referenced Deion Dublin very hard in my new book.

Can I mention my new book or is that

what I can say?

Yeah, yesterday I made a phone call about my new book.

Right.

Here's some stuff about my new book.

My new book's called LA Baby.

Yes.

And it's a book about my experiences in LA in the fall last year.

Oh, wow.

But you weren't there yesterday.

I wasn't there yesterday.

No, but I did have my LA cap on and I was in the news agent studio when there was a lot of news about LA that I didn't want to get involved.

That is true.

Yeah, yeah, good point.

Okay, so you're having one last point with one of the four, one of the greatest.

Right, okay.

And then is it straight home?

Then it is back home, and then it's go to bed.

Hang on, huh?

Hang on.

Who's struggling with their weight?

We haven't got to that yet.

It's just apparently someone's ballooned.

Anyway,

are we worried about them?

Is it like a ticking timebell?

No, ballooned but happy is the feedback I'm getting.

BBH, as it's known.

All you've had is a single Smarty and some mince crisps.

He had a nazi gering, didn't he?

It's a great, great point.

Okay, it's toast under the grill.

And then it's meanwhile, chop up some onion and some chilies.

And then it's slice some cheese, flip the toast over, and it's cheese, chili, and onion with a lot of black pepper and a pint of water.

Question.

Do you fry the onion before you put it under the grill?

No, no interest.

No interest in that.

But it's a red onion.

It's a red.

Oh, it's a red onion.

Okay, forget those onion-based questions.

They're irrelevant.

What time do I set my alarm for?

4.30 to get ahead of Martin.

Oh, yeah, give him a proper welcome.

So I'm standing outside my door with a baseball bat.

Make it.

I set my alarm for...

Now you two need to wake up and listen to your guests because I set my alarm for 6 a.m.

Why?

Why do you think?

I mean, surely it doesn't take four hours to get from there to the booth.

But he's got to have his dippy eggs.

What happened when I took that first sip of beer?

What fell by the wayside?

Oh, the run 6 a.m.

in order to have a slice of toast with Nutella and then do some admin and slumber for a further hour and a half, then the run.

Wow.

Famously, Wilson Kipkitur, he broke the marathon world record after toast and Nutella.

I believe that is.

Yeah, but he had the triangle of athletes ahead of him.

Yeah, that's a very good point.

I'd be mad to have a triangle of athletes at my treadmill.

Yeah, yeah.

How do you get to sleep?

How does Tim Key get to sleep?

Yeah, good question.

Podcast.

Podcast.

Yeah.

What have we got on?

Oh, usually one that I've heard before.

I would imagine from the entirely factual genre, you put one about the Phoenicians or something like that.

I've probably gone to sleep with Max in the past, I must say.

Yeah, I've done that.

Yeah, many do.

Many do.

Anyway, back to these podcasts.

Yeah.

Lol.

Yeah, into bed, bed, naked as the day I was born, alarm safely set, and podcast on, eyes shut, nine night.

Wow.

This has been the tightest ep.

It's 59 minutes and 40 seconds.

It's extraordinary, the professionalism of.

Oh, look, let me tell you this, Max.

I was on, if I can just do an anecdote from outside of yesterday.

I was on with David on Saturday and I was down to do 20 minutes.

I did 20 minutes to the second.

That's what I do, Max.

Wow.

That's wild, isn't it i must say on reflection two things one

david calling you keesy the only person i'm aware of as keys is richard keys so i was thinking we should get him at some point you know to complete the key well you could also get rob key the cricket rob key oh that's true yeah he's also called keys i believe

maybe get all three together and i should also say that i loved your film My youngest, I watched it with him, he did sleep through pretty much all of it.

Oh, Key's not going to like this at all.

I don't mind this.

I don't mind this.

He slept through all of it.

That can be good for parents.

It was the first film he's ever seen.

Oh, first film he ever saw?

My father.

The first film he ever saw.

He only saw the last five minutes because he's only four months old.

But he seemed very happy at the end.

Yeah, that's the feedback we've been getting.

From four months old.

Yeah.

Thank you very much for telling us what you did yesterday, Tim Key.

It's a whirlwind of a time for you, but I like that, you know, you're going on news podcasts.

You effectively are the news at the moment, but you're also finding a way to get mildly lashed as well.

And I respect that.

It's quite a balanced day.

I mean, it would have been completely balanced if the run had been in there, but the run didn't take long, but it's pretty balanced.

From what I know of you, it would have been, I mean, quite...

might have given a strange impression if you'd done the run because it would have just been a day where you get up at 4.30 a.m it's just relentless accomplishment followed by a run and then you were going to watch monsters at war or something monsters at war yeah jesse armstrong's new film

oh yeah that one monsters at war

it's a good day did you feel it was a good day you happy with that day if i'd had my time again i think between the um the malaysian lunch and the meeting about the undisclosed project, I think I would have phoned Naomi.

Okay.

You know, you can't have regrets.

regrets i know you're right are you thinking oscars for this one have you started thinking looking at 98 and thinking okay what percent do you need for an oscar it's 94 and above you get one

yes

that's a guarantee it's a guarantee well imagine later today when they upload uh me and max's review from our movie podcast and we tear that fucker to shreds and it goes back to 76.

that would be good that would ground us tim your next meeting's in one minute.

It is.

Thank you so much for having me.

Thanks, Tim.

Thanks, Tim.

Are you going to pick up, David?

You've introduced the whole show.

You might as well.

Now you've taken over the whole thing.

I mean, this is, of course, the last of series two.

So are you planning on series three to be the lead?

Are you going to be the lead?

It's just not me.

It's just not me.

I feel wrong.

Like a phony.

Yeah, I feel you're able to come up the thing with energy at the start.

Whereas I just feel like if I meet someone IRL, I'll be like, hey, how's it going?

It won't be like, hey, you, great to see you.

When I meet people, I don't like meet them like I'm introducing the news.

And I certainly give them a menu of the day.

Coming up later on today's meeting, welcome.

Hi, David.

Today we'll be discussing Tim P's yesterday.

We'll do a little bit before and a little bit afterwards.

And then we'll point people in the direction of how to get in touch.

Really important for interaction for midweek mayhem.

Without them, that little bit of the podcast would be nothing.

But for now, sit back, relax, and enjoy what did you do yesterday.

How good were Bath and Bev on the morning show?

I heard another one.

Wow, I heard a really good commercial radio one.

It was like classic.

This poor guy is doing like, you know, Sunday 10 till one.

And he said, oh,

oh, it's going to...

Because I was was listening to it thinking, I've got to remember this for what he did yesterday, because it was just so banal, and he found it so funny.

It was just like it's a bank holiday, so I bet you're enjoying not going to work today.

Here's the levelers, so it wasn't the levelers, it was not like

the levelers.

It definitely wasn't.

It was definitely uh

whatever that song is.

That's the only levelers song I know as well.

So, so anyway um what did you make of tim's day i love the start of the day i loved at the start because i did wonder i was i love tim key we've established this but i thought he might play silly buggers with us i thought he might deviate from the truth and so it was a little bit when there was an intruder trying to get into his flat at 4 30 that i was like he was going to send us on a merry ride but actually it was a fun way for his day to begin Yeah, what I loved about it was

that he is very excited.

Like Tim has been in lots of movies and lots of TV, you know, stuff like Alan Partridge, all of that.

But he is so personally involved in the Ballad of Wallace Island.

I love that he was just able to say he's constantly checking for feedback.

Like, you know, Tim is besotted with this film because I look at his Instagram and his social media, and he's just, you know, normally when people,

if people say something nice about your work, you're slightly embarrassed and you're like, thank you very much.

But Tim is doing the publicity thing of retweeting and all of that because he clearly so loves this project and he's right too because it is a project made with love.

So yeah.

Yeah.

And obviously when I watched it, David, I was like,

I could, not, I could do that because it's really good, but like

no, no, I was thinking, I would know, do you know, I said this to Jamie.

I said, I love this movie and it's really life-affirming, but also I'd love one day to do something, you know, that does elicit tears and is maybe more than just David lowering himself into a bath of his own cup.

I don't.

I love this.

I love this so much.

But can I do a critically acclaimed movie on the side?

Like that?

Is that how this works?

No, we'll.

There's been beautiful moments in the history of this.

No, I'm not.

I'm in it for life.

Don't Don't, like, let's not suggest I'm in it for life.

Everything's showbiz.

In my oeuvre, the critical acclaim.

You know,

that's what I sometimes think.

There was a nice bit in this podcast in one of the first episodes that's found in series one, a year ago.

Jen Brister's friend had hurt her back and left her children with...

Jen and Chloe as

they just formed a new family together.

That was a and that's only in terms of broadcasting probably 60 hours ago, Max.

No, but oh, hang on.

There was the guy that wondered why Adam Buxton and his sons had run past him at Waterloo.

And without this podcast, they'd have never discovered that.

Do you see?

It's absolutely beautiful what we're doing.

Slowly but surely we're getting there.

If you'd like to get in touch with the show, here's how.

To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudo yesterdaypod at gmail.com.

Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod.

And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.

And if you didn't, please don't.

Sorry, I introduced that bit.

It's just muscle memory kicked in, David, to do that bit.

Hey, thanks, Tim Key.

Thanks, you, David.

Thanks very much for booking.

Tim Key back to another

great booking of yours.

I'll just keep knocking it out of the park.

I just can't help it.

Let's do another one soon.

Thanks, listeners.

Bye.

You were made to outdo your holiday,

your hammocking,

and your pooling.

We were made to help organize the competition.

Expedia.

Made to travel.

Hello, Max Rushton here.

You might remember me from Series 9, Episode 2 of Parenting Hell.

I'm here to tell you about Dog by the Bakery Door, the debut children's book by author Jamie Bruce.

Dog by the Bakery Door is a charming story of the magical things a little boy sees on a normal trip to get a coffee with his mum.

Perfect for newborns, three-year-olds, six-year-olds, all children.

Just Google Dog by the Bakery Door.

Here's a review from my three-year-old son.

Dog by the Bakery Door.

I have this book.

Full disclosure, the author might be his mother and my wife, but even more reason to buy it.

She has to live with us and a baby 24-7, has sacrificed her career for mine while also being an amazing mum for two boys.

Thank you, goodbye.