WDWDY #24: A day by any other name...

1h 1m
“I wake up thinking of yesterday. The joy is in remembering; the pain is in knowing it was yesterday.” - David Levithan, EVERY DAY

On this mid-week bonus episode of WDWDY we find out what Max did yesterday... a day in which amazingly Max gets the correct coffee order he wanted.

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Transcript

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Podcasts, there are millions of them.

Some might say too many.

I have one already.

I don't have any, because there are enough.

Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.

But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.

Why is that?

Are they scared?

Too afraid of being censored by the man?

Possibly, but not us.

We're here to ask the only question that matters.

We'll try and say it at the same time, Max.

What did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday?

That's it.

All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.

Day before yesterday, Max?

Nope.

The greatest and most interesting day of your life?

Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it.

I'm Max Rushton.

And I'm David O'Doherty.

Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

David O'Doherty is now recording.

And that means we can start midweek Mayhem.

And it's a great great shame that David didn't start recording a minute earlier as he was trying to estimate how much a bath is.

Okay, no, no, no, no.

Also, I hate to start on this note.

We have to stop talking about shitting.

We have to.

Do you think so?

Well, I listened back to last week's midweek mayhem.

Ooh, la la.

Yeah, actually, we have got some feedback on that from Michael Gregory75002 on Spotify.

What's he saying?

Referring to bonus episode 22, The Cascade of Negligence.

Just awful.

Absolutely dreadful.

I regret giving this my time.

Seriously, counting farts with a clicker and monitoring a child's potty training is considered entertaining.

And when I read that in the cold light of day, David, I did think,

I'm worried what this is becoming.

Worried what this is becoming.

There was a bit where there was a succession of we love our feedback, but where one would be just a tale about a dump and the next would be a dog shitting in a washing machine and the third coming out.

And then the next one is, don't teach a cat to shit in a dishwasher.

And then the next one would, you know what I mean?

But look, we can't help where the feedback goes.

And maybe, you know, we have become the sort of

this is the repository is the wrong word for these people who want to get these tails off their chest.

And there's no way you can't just ring up five live.

You can't ring up Nikki Campbell and say,

he's never saying what with all in the world today has a dog in a vet have you ever accidentally thrown an entire dog turn in a washing machine

so maybe this is what we're to become we we can't control these things we're just a conduit to the messages from the people okay well hopefully the feedback i don't think it there is one bit of feedback on that but i can overlook it ashley okay wrote this must have listened to the gary lineker pod steve wrote lineke had a long-standing impact on japanese culture with marshmallow based treats many other people got in touch with us as the Japanese ambassador to the UK, Hiroshi Suzuki, shortly after the Gary Lineker wagon wheel episode, just tweeted a picture of him saying tea cakes for breakfast with the emoji smiling with the tongue hanging out.

And a picture of a very friendly looking Japanese man with one unwrapped tunnel tea cake and two wrapped in front of him with a Paddington toy and a, I would say, for me, a terrible coffee, but we don't need to go there.

Thank you so much for everyone suggesting that the Japanese ambassador to the UK is listening to the podcast and therefore being influenced, knowing that Lineker had such an important part to play in Japanese football and has taken that on.

Shame it wasn't a wagon wheel.

Oh, so this wasn't a Photoshop picture.

This was an actual picture.

Hiroshi Suzuki is eating three Tonix tea cakes for breakfast.

I mean, literally pretty much the day after, or maybe three days after the Gary Lineker episode was released.

It can't be a coincidence.

Maybe wherever a lineker's been around the world in catalonia as well they just eat marshmallow based breakfast treats if anyone's ever had breakfast in catalonia was it a marshmallow yeah let us know text in now now david squires does a warm-up photo before he does his cartoons for the guardian he is excellent of course and uh he what's at this to me today and he has drawn with reference to the karyad lloyd episode and my incredible knowledge of improv he drew lord percy of dingbat the more i've I've really been ruminating on Lord Percy of Dingbat, David, I think it's a perfectly acceptable Jane Austen character.

I know I haven't read any Austin since we did the podcast, but I think I was unfairly cast as a sort of ignoramus, whereas I think Lord Percy of Dingbat could quite easily have existed.

And thank you to David for bringing him to life.

To people who haven't heard the Carriot Lloyd episode, it's a lovely episode.

But Max decides to do his own, because Carriot is a master of improvised comedy, Max delves into the genre and comes up with this character, Sir Percy of Dingbat.

Lord Percy, not Sir Percy, let's be real.

Doesn't scare, doesn't work.

It's just the fact that you come up with it,

Lord Percy of

Dingbat.

And I just don't think that would work on stage in the West End.

You just wait.

You just wait.

Look, I understand.

I can't just walk in there.

I've got to tread the boards.

But maybe my improv career is just starting.

My friend Clive has been in touch, David, to say our house are big fans of Duolingo.

And following a recent upgrade, Joa has introduced a strong bjoying of encouragement if you get five or ten correct answers in a row.

Delighted to see the influence of David.

Think he has some IP to monetize.

If I can just go back to bad improv, one year in Edinburgh, there was a terrible improv crew, and they would walk around with a boom box to publicize their show with it going

and they'd be like, Over there is a man with a cat.

He looks quite happy with the cat and that.

And

evidently, they were too loud every day.

I think they might have had little mics.

And on the last day of the fringe, they walked past one of the venues doing their rap for their last show.

And the front front of house staff and the actors involved just came out and were like fuck off shouting at them which was nice but they were like this people over there not happy that we're rapping well at least we're not doing some crapping and they walk up the street doing their loud boo chh boo boo booch and in one of the greatest incidents ever

Not Basil Fulty from the Fulty Towers Dining Experience rushes out, which is a show in Edinburgh, rushes out from the restaurant where they do the Fulchie Tower's dining experience with a bucket of water and throws it over them, followed by Not Manuel, who has a slightly smaller bucket of water, and he throws it over them as well.

And the street applauded.

Now, on the subject of David O'Dougherty, the unconscious narcissist.

This is a very sweet message from George Nixon, who says, Dear, what did you do yesterday?

I, too, have been known to sing to myself a lot, in particular about my lovely cat Sidney and how he's the nicest boy in the whole world.

It interrupts the intrusive thoughts I sometimes struggle with and focuses me instead on something positive.

However, I had to have Sidney put down a couple of months ago because of ailing health.

And now this habit has gone from helping me to hurting me.

As when I burst out with songs about having such a lovely boy, they're just not true and it makes me sad.

Your podcast has inspired me and from now on I will instead sing to myself about how cool David O'Doherty is and what a reasonable number of bikes 18 is.

I might even throw in something about the correct volume in millimeters of a three-quarter flat white.

Love the pod.

Looking forward to all the yesterdays to come.

Yours, et cetera.

George Nixon.

Well, you have our sympathies, George.

It's wonderful to know that other people will say.

This is conscious.

He's conscious.

He's awake and he's just going to sing how great David O'Doherty is.

I'll feel it.

I'll feel a little tingle when you're doing that.

Thank you very much.

This one is from Neil.

After hearing a listener mention recently that they sometimes Google a guest before they listen to an episode, I decided to take a look at the Google Trends chart for a recent guest to see what impact, if any, an appearance on the pod had on their search frequency.

Gary Litaker.

Gary Litaker is probably not us.

No, no.

The results are staggering, as you can see from the chart below.

Caesar chart.

Searches for Pierre Novelli increased a hundredfold in the day following the release of his episode.

This seems like a great metric to use when trying to attract new guests.

For instance, the world's most googled person, Donald Trump, has 139 million hits per month.

There's no way he's turning down the opportunity to turn turn that into 13.9 billion.

All the best, Neil.

Shall we approach the comms team of the White House and see if Donald Trump would come on?

What did he do yesterday?

I must say it would be insane.

Yeah.

I mean, I'd only do it if we organized between us a real ambush, like they did with the president of South Africa or

Zelensky.

Yeah.

No, I think we just have to ask.

We couldn't do that.

We just have to ask him about his day.

We just have to go from the beginning and ask him about his day

and hear about his coffee pot.

I think we should try and get him.

I agree.

It doesn't necessarily reflect the tone of all the other guests, but that would be a pod drop on a Sunday morning, wouldn't it?

Yeah.

My terrible photoshopping of Donald Trump.

What did Donald do yesterday?

Yeah, and the intro would be funny as well.

because it'll be like, and now our first guest from the G7.

I think that's how we might phrase it.

They did have to get.

Who do you reckon the highest level politician we could get is someone like Ed Balls.

Not a working politician anymore.

I don't see why they would.

I mean, maybe if they'd had a scandal recently and wanted to get across, they're just a normal cheese.

Exactly.

Yeah, yeah, totally.

I went and bought a pint of milk, which incidentally is 82p or, you know, they could jumble that in.

Could be PR gold.

And I'll email Sakir's team and see how we get on.

Regarding our dreams allowed on what did you do yesterday?

Hi, Max David.

I'm producing Mars Bar.

I was recently talking to my brother about the various funny reasons we'd heard over the years of people calling in sick to work.

Apparently, a few years back when he was manager in a company in Sydney, someone called him on a Monday morning to say they wouldn't be in because they'd had a nightmare.

Anyway, my question is, do you allow dreams or nightmares within the context of someone's yesterday?

I appreciate that hearing about other people's dreams can be tedious and boring, but I, for one, would be interested to hear if, say, Gary Lineker was chased through a packed train by a giant wagon wheel that's throwing dog shit bags at him.

I certainly appear in other people's dreams sometimes because they tell me about it, but it's nearly always in the context of me doing awful stuff.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Or like murders, like that Nicolas Cage movie.

I don't think I murder people.

I just like I've got a bull whip or something.

Right.

I'm just being a music.

There wasn't, just to be clear, there wasn't a Nicholas Cage movie where he played you doing terrible things in people's dreams.

Con air.

Con air is about me.

Farmer Palmer says non-moving pivot, which is obviously the football position I play, describes Max's podcasting style.

Hashtag Mr.

Celophane.

Hashtag defaultman3.

Love the podcast.

Sorry, on that subject, did we have an update on the Melbourne Bohemians?

Quentin looked like he might be out for last week's match, And I, for one, was worried.

Yeah, he was out.

I was out.

Were you on compassionate leave because your partner was like, stop playing so much football?

My knee wasn't 100%,

Jamie, but I did tell you that.

But no,

because I had to work in the morning because it was the day after the A-League Grand Final, where Melbourne City had beat Melbourne victory, where I did the greatest parallel park of all time.

You haven't really acknowledged that.

Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

So you did send it to me and you posted it on your socials.

See, very good numbers.

Better numbers than anything I've done in a while.

If I can describe it to the listeners, you've got the Subaru

and you've got maybe 10 centimeters slash six inches at either side of it.

Yeah.

Now, presumably the Subaru has all the BPBPs on it for parking.

It's got a camera at the back, beeps at the front.

And are you telling me you didn't hit either of those cars cars or even just gently kiss them?

So, I have told this story on the radio and another podcast, but it would be remiss of me not to tell it again.

Yeah, I haven't heard.

I arrived and there was this space, and I just probably overestimated how much space there was.

And I swung in once, and it wasn't perfect, so I drove out and then I swung in again, and I was like, Oh, beep, beep beep beep, beep.

And I was like, Wow, the car behind is really in my boot.

And anyway, so I parked and I was like, that's not bad.

And as I got out, the owner of the car in front, she was just coming out of her flat, I think, think to get something for her car.

And she looked at me.

She looked at the car and she went, that's a pretty good park.

And I was like,

I was like, dang it, it was a good park.

So I then walked like 20 yards to the front door of the studios and Thomas Sorenson, third.

Denmark's third greatest ever goalkeeper.

Exactly.

He was like, how are you?

And I said, I've got to show you something.

And he's not easily impressed, Sorenson.

We're real about this.

So I walked him down and I said, look where I put the Subaru.

He was blown away.

Anyway, we carried on with Load.

We went back to the front of the studio.

As we got there, Archie Thompson, my other co-host, A-League legend, and the man who has the world record for the most number of games scored in an international match when he scored 13 goals for Australia against American Samoa.

I said, ah, since you're here, Archie, I've got to show you this.

And so I walked him down.

And then he was impressed.

And I was like, okay, now I should probably film this.

This is like, this is a real, not just because of the content, I just think the world needed to know.

And honestly, the euphoria I felt was totally wonderful.

Yeah.

And then the real sadness was when I got there after the show, the car behind had moved.

So I didn't have the like, because a lot of people are like, you ain't getting out of that son.

And anyway, then on the radio, I talked about it.

And then people honestly sent me photos of their greatest park from like 2006.

People had them to hand.

Honestly, it was a wonderful moment.

It was a wonderful moment.

Anyway, the point being that because I'd had to go to work that morning, if I take the morning and the afternoon off, that's quite a lot of parenting for Jamie to do.

So I forewent the football.

We lost 3-1 to Rockstrut.

Won the upper half-time.

And we had the win second half, but they were young.

But, you know, I'll report on Sunday.

Caroline Springs, we're playing, and I'm hoping to start.

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Be unstoppable.

Come into your local store today.

Sorry, just back to the park.

Yeah, absolutely right.

We should talk about this a lot more.

There is a distinction between what we call the old First Division era and the Premier League era in parking as well.

Because parking in the pre-Bee Beeps era.

Yeah.

That's a good point, Mel Mate.

It's a very good point, Mel made.

Look, I'm not trying to diminish this.

I'm saying what you did may not have been possible without the immense levels of technology that are packed into that Subaru.

You can only play the game you can play.

That's what the great parkers of the world say.

Yeah.

Would Lewis Hamilton during the Sterling Moss era, would he have been a great driver then?

Probably.

If we were both 20, we'd be YouTubers, but we're not.

And that's the point.

We live in the BPBP age of parking, so I can only park my best Subaru in the BPBP age.

One more question.

Yes, David.

And this would really impress me.

And I am impressed already.

And if Thomas Sorensen, a man who played in a World Cup, was impressed,

was there someone coming up your arse?

Like that would really add another level of.

No, it's a very good question.

That would take the cake.

Yeah.

Like imagine if one-handed, you just swung in.

Of the trams of Melbourne, who are the most vociferous beepers, I think, on the planet, one of those was behind you.

Ding, ding, ding, ding.

They really, honestly, it's because they can't turn corners.

They're just so, they're like really pent-up frustration, stuck on these lines, ding, ding, ding.

Honestly.

There's a warning on Melbourne trams that I love, which is, is it three rhinos?

There's a picture of three rhinos, I think, which is the weight of one Melbourne tram.

As if the prospect of being hit by a tram wasn't enough.

It's to be like, if you think this is a polystyrene tram, it in fact weighs as much as these rhinos.

And it's a good point because you sort of think, well, I would push this pram into two oncoming Rhinos, but now you've made it three.

I'm going to really give this a second thought.

Tom says, dear Max David, and especially Mars Bar, each time Max or David mentioned that a new game of what did you fond do yesterday, etc., will commence again on Boxing Day 2025, I often wonder whether that episode of Midwick Mayhem is due to fall on David's yesterday.

If it didn't, would you have to adjust the rotor of whose yesterday it would be?

Or would we have to wait even longer for David David to set a new cheeseboard master ride?

In which case, your continued assertion that round two will start on Boxing Day would be a bold-faced lie.

It appears as though Marsba has already anticipated and rectified this potential dilemma, as I calculated that David's yesterday is in fact due to fall on Boxing Day.

However, this is only possible because Marsba selflessly booked a trip to New York and proposed to his girlfriend on a particular day that enabled him to have his own yesterday, thus forever altering the usual rotor and avoiding any awkward apologies to the listeners.

Because, of course, if it didn't happen yesterday, Max, David, and the listeners don't want to know about it.

I bet Max and David hadn't given this level of thought it requires before setting the start date for the new game of Curdle.

So Marsbar has really stepped up and planned his important life decisions to benefit the structure of this podcast.

He has mine.

And hopefully, now Max and David's full appreciation.

Love the pod, Tom.

Sensational.

Once again, thank you.

Marsbar is 20 steps ahead.

Marsbar is Kasparov, and you and I are the children on the front of the box of hungry hungry hippos.

He didn't even want to propose.

He's not that into it but he was like there's no other way.

There's no other way.

David's Day yesterday won't be Boxing Day and then so therefore he has changed his whole life for this podcast and for that Mars bar.

We salute you.

It's time for Mars Bar's they're just normal countries the one and only.

Mars Bar writes we've had lots of guesses.

Thank you for sending and keeping them coming.

It is worth clarifying that only single country guesses will be eligible.

Some people are still playing the Wordle, just normal cheeses format with all six guesses.

This is not allowed.

Big shout out to the one listener who did submit six countries and incredibly got three of the six in one go.

Sadly, he says, they will never know.

Single guesses only.

Winner stays on.

So if you guessed correctly, you get to guess again the following week.

On the subject of what it should be called, Chris says the countries quiz should be called six of one and have a follow-up quiz called and half a dozen of another where we identify countries that have notched more than five but less than seven listens.

Dermot from Kilkenny says, dear guys, my suggestion for the name of the new slot is you are Taiwan and only.

Love the show.

That's good, isn't it?

Anyway, this is perhaps the nicest email.

I love this email.

This is from Ben.

And this is our, they're just normal countries guests, I believe.

Oh, yeah.

Dear Max, David, and Marsbaum.

For the last seven years, I've been living and working in a small town called Moshi in the foothills of Mount Kilimanjaro, Tanzania.

Several times a week, I run a sunset loop through the surrounding coffee plantations, along the fast-flowing Karanga River, and up the long red dirt track home, all in the majestic shadow of Africa's highest peak.

Oh my goodness.

Many a time I've endured the disapproving looks of local farmers heading home from a hard day in the maize fields, shaking their heads as my thunderous laughter shatters the idyllic scene.

Picture the indigenous fauna running for cover, my incongruous howls echoing across the pervading bush, unable to contain myself as tales of excessive pineapple consumption, rampant mushrooms, and far-from-normal cheeses fill my ears.

In April, I had the privilege of tracking the endemic primates in some of the remotest areas of neighboring Uganda.

Somewhere between trailing chimpanzees in the ancient Kibale National Park and tracking gorillas in the far reaches of the Bwindi, impenetrable forest, I pulled over to wait out a torrential downpour, the rain turning the dirt road into an impassable quagmire.

What better way to pass the time than an episode of What Did You Do Yesterday?

Ahmed Jalili's forensic retelling of his explosive Diatika Bibida-inspired colonic evacuations, the perfect oral accompany to the untouched timeless beauty of the cradle of mankind itself.

More importantly, is Uganda one of the famous single listen six?

And might I be that only Ugandan listener?

Thank you for making me laugh.

What did you do yesterday is the perfect tonic to a world gone mad.

That you forever dance in the moonlight.

Ben.

Wow.

Amazing.

amazing Ben We did ask didn't we David could you be the person who's done the one listener he lives in Tanzania he was in Uganda for one listen the Omid Jalili episode is that the one listener in Uganda

are there more shall we go to Mars bar David right now and find out and just to say the winner of this wins it's a green Ford Fiesta that Max and I have filled with all of our old underpants the really starched crotchless ones it's brimming with them.

So just before we go to Mars Bar, that really,

what's the phrase?

Something into a cocked hat like many of our other.

I mean, that had a brief scatological reference in it.

It did.

It was only in the context of the listening to the episode.

Like I was seeing, especially as he laughed, flamingos just rising, you know, from lakes.

And God, I hope Uganda is one of them.

Yeah.

I mean, what we are meant to do is paint pictures with words.

And there, Ben has just, he has done a great service.

I mean, I just love the, you know, different people just listening in different ways.

That dude, you know, delivering milk in South Carolina.

Here's this guy running through the barefoot through the Serengeti, listening to various comedians.

Shit.

Miles Barr, welcome.

Hello.

Thank you for arranging a wedding that you didn't necessarily want in the interest of the podcast.

But let's get to the serious business.

I am slightly worried that people are going to track where Hugh Jackman was in the world on that day and realize he actually wasn't in New York.

So it's all a bed of lies.

Is Uganda one of the six?

Please.

Oh,

no.

Turns out we're huge in Uganda.

Who knew?

It was win-win for us, David.

We couldn't walk the streets of...

What's the capital of Uganda?

Kampala, is it?

We couldn't walk the streets of it because of how big what did you do yesterday is.

But thank you, Ben.

I'm sad for you, but I'm happy for our popularity in Uganda.

Wow.

You know, when you're coming in from the airport just outside possibly Kampala, there's hand-painted huge signs of what did you do yesterday.

And it's you and I.

And just for some reason, we're like, as Luke Skywalker and Han Solo from Empire Strikes Back.

You know, the way they always go off on a solo run with their promotional posters.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, we should maybe do a live show that.

Yes, Marsma.

While you're doing your yesterday, I will find out the stats for Uganda so we can see that.

Yes, let's find out.

We like the Ugandan stats.

There's a reason to keep listening, isn't there?

Okay, my day, David, isn't it?

It's my yesterday.

Max Rushton.

Yes, David Odahadi.

What did you do yesterday?

It's a great question, and I'm glad you asked.

So the day begins at 6 a.m.

This is, I mean, you cannot knock that, everybody.

That is, that's as good as it gets.

Everyone's awake.

Willie's awake.

Ian's awake.

Jamie's awake.

I'm awake.

I'm in bed with Willie and Jamie has taken Ian to probably the playroom to play train sets.

That's the division of labor at this stage.

Now, I decide early to FaceTime mum and dad.

Oh, yeah.

Because we are traveling back to the UK in about six weeks and we are going to stay in a little village near near Heathrow Airport for a few days to sort of get over jet lag in private because it's just so miserable.

A little village near Heathrow Airport, some people call London Town.

Yeah, of course it is.

Where the streets are paved with gold.

It's not called that, but it's quite small.

I'm not going to divulge what it is yet.

I mean, I don't really mind if you see me there.

That's great.

It's got a waitrose and a pub that sells bitter.

It's Townslow.

Yeah, there we are.

We're doing the Houndslows.

We're doing all the tour, the tour of the Houndslows.

So I've said to my parents, I messaged them saying that, why don't you come down on a Sunday?

You know, I haven't seen you for a year.

You've never met Willie Rushton.

Yeah.

And mum is absolutely bang up for it.

And dad is like,

do you know what?

I'll just give it a week.

See you in London.

You were trying to

organise an Pierre Novelli-esque family meetup.

Yeah, yeah.

Maybe my sister will come.

It sounded lovely.

And they were just like, it's a bit of a way.

Public Public transport's bad.

And we've got this interesting thing where my Google Map says it's an hour and a half.

Theirs says it's two and a half hours.

And I'm like, dad's 86.

I don't want him to drive.

And I'll just get a taxi.

It's fine.

But taxis, they're not going to spend their money on a taxi.

I said, I'll get the taxi.

But still, dad's just like, it's all right.

I'll see you in Hackney.

Don't worry about it.

I quite like that sort of attitude to life.

It's very funny.

But it's interesting.

I missed them terribly.

But then after like 10 minutes of a logistical conversation about this, I'm like, oh, this is going to, the whole thing is going to be logistics.

There's the next,

why did i even mention it i could have said we're arriving a week later anyway i say goodbye to my parents they're doing very well they're off to play in a string quartet almost certainly or that's what they've just done do they both play yeah dad's on the cello mum's on the viola would we ever trio it up with the clarinet then i think it's been a long time since that has happened if has ever happened yeah yeah i need to find the clarinet because you know if we are opening the live show with dancing in the moonlight yeah it's in their box in london so but i will don't worry i'll make sure the the ligature is, I'll make sure I've got a couple of reeds in there.

Don't you worry, Dave.

I escort Willie to the living room where Ian is eating some play notes.

He's basically standing inside the television watching an episode of Just in Time.

He sort of leans on the

TV table and then his head is basically in the TV.

And you don't want to sound like a parent by saying, I think you're a bit too close to the TV there, Ian, but he's not really listening.

Interruption.

I wish to apologize publicly for in the Carriot Lloyd episode

where she was like making puppets with her children and all the rest of it.

And you were like, here's what I do.

I'll put him in a box and leave him in a cinema for three days without a popcorn.

I didn't wish to imply that that's actually what you do.

You guys are wonderful parents.

Also, I have 18 bikes, so I don't know necessarily what this situation is like.

No, I was not offended at all.

You've never offended me, David.

In fact, I would say the most you've upset me was in the latest recording that we did where you had the front to suggest I didn't really care about coffee.

And I think I've made it abundantly clear that I do.

But anyway, it's okay.

Max, with respect, this is not an apology for you.

This is an apology for the other member of your household who listens to this moment.

But we know that that Jamie is a great mum.

And, you know, she is constantly rotating the toys.

I just wanted to say it.

Okay.

No, no, it's okay.

Either she hasn't listened to that episode yet or she has not judged you.

It's fine.

She can judge me.

And that's perfectly acceptable.

Ian is watching Just in Time,

which on YouTube.

And it's a pirates episode.

He's a bit scared of Redbeard the Pirate.

But, you know, spoiler alert.

Redbeard the Pirate isn't all that he seems.

He's only charging their boat because he wants a haircut.

And Olive is the best hairdresser on the seven seas.

So what happens in Justin Time?

What's just very roughly top line?

Yeah, top line is he's in his bedroom.

Justin is just a dude, a little kid, or he's in the garden, and then he uses his imagination.

Yeah.

And then he goes off on these wild fantasy trips and then he comes back to his garden.

It's Mr.

Ben.

It just sounds like Mr.

Ben.

There are elements of Ben.

I think that's fair.

Anyway, Ian needs a bath because he didn't have one the night before.

So I get him in the bath, which is, you know, I'm not unimpressed.

Jamie has taken Willie for a nap walk because he woke up pretty early.

He might have woken up at half past five.

So he needs to get out of the house at seven to have another sleep.

So I'm in there with Ian.

He's in the bath.

He's blowing bubbles through a straw and really exciting.

This, yeah, we're having a great time.

I need to brush Ian's teeth.

Oh, no.

Hean's not having a bar of it.

I tried Blippy's teeth brushing song.

I tried the Wiggles' teeth brushing song.

There's nothing I can do.

It's sort of that thing where you think, I really need to brush his teeth because if his teeth fall out when he's like 15, he'll be like, Yeah, you were 46, I was three.

It was incumbent on you to make this happen.

And I think during that time, he won't understand quite how difficult it is to brush the teeth of a three-year-old who is like swaying away from you, like Lloyd Hunnigan in his peak.

You know, there's just nothing I can do.

Like, I'm and it's interesting when his mum says, and it's time to brush your teeth, he just sits there and opens his mouth.

And I think, you gaslighting.

That's why we are starting the new teeth for Ian Rushton Fund here to send him to Turkey when he is 15 to get big monster Jimmy Carr.

Yeah, exactly.

Huge veneers.

We've got a crowdfunding, justgiving.com slash huge veneers for Ian Rushton because he's going to lead them.

So anyway, get him out of the bath, get him dressed.

We're having a good time.

We're doing a bit of train set.

It's a bit of colouring in.

We're colouring in some rocks that we've found.

How's this colouring in?

Because, you know, sometimes,

and I hope you're coming down hard at him here because sometimes three-year-olds just color in the vicinity of the thing and everyone's like, oh, that's so good.

But I'm always like, come on, we could do better than this.

No, I am very much like, I'll go over the edges too, even though I know where the edges are because I've learned all my parenting from Instagram reels.

You're trying to encourage freedom of expression and he shouldn't be confined.

If he's scared of making the mistake of going over the lines, maybe this wonderful artist within will not emerge.

And so I very much, it's fine.

You color whatever you want, not the walls.

That's sort of where we draw the line.

So this is why England haven't won a World Cup since 1966, because of

the people going, do it up to the line, no more, no mistakes.

Oh, I thought what you were suggesting was because now parenting's gone soft and I'm not taking an iron belt to Ian if he goes over the line.

That's why all the artists are foreign.

That's the problem that we've got in this country.

Then Sophie arrives.

So that's great.

We love Sophie.

And Jamie is meeting a friend of hers, Sarah.

We love Sarah as well.

They're meeting for a coffee.

So I've got a bit of a free morning.

I've got a bit of work to do.

But I'm going to go for a run, David, because I haven't been in a run.

I haven't been for a run since April the 23rd because of the football season.

Because like Ledley King, I play my knee balloons.

But I haven't played.

I want to test the knee.

So I do a little three kilometre run, which I would describe as

so incredibly slow.

It's sort of to the point where people are stopping me to ask directions.

It's that slow, you know.

But I get through it unscathed.

It's fine.

I just do three and a bit kilometers.

You know, it's nothing to write home about.

I'm a bit embarrassed to put it on Strava, but still my friends give me kudos, so that's nice.

Is there anything to be said for running on grass?

Does it matter the surface you run on?

It's much more tiring.

Oh, yeah.

It probably would be better.

I just go up the sort of, there's like a long cycle path just at the end of our street, which is just dead straight because, you know, turning corners is tricky for the knee.

Try and just run in straight lines as a footballer.

It's tricky, but it's all good.

I get home, I have a bowl of porridge because I'm on a health journey inspired by all the middle-aged comedians that we have.

And I've, you know, I just think, right, if I start with porridge, that can only be good.

It's a step up, I think, from wheatbix.

It's interesting that Ian has been listening to so many episodes of the podcast.

He's even gone healthier because he's done away with milk or any sort of liquid.

He just piles it in like a tree being put into a wood chipper and just

he's so dehydrated.

Honestly, he looks like a shriveled up prune that and a dry rye vita.

I then cycle to a cafe and I get a long black.

It's great.

Uh-oh.

And I then post a story about, ladies and gentlemen, Jamie Bruce's debut children's book.

I don't know if you're aware of children's books,

but Jamie has written a kid's book she got a publishing deal of her own accord i'm very proud of her it's called dog by the bakery door please just google it and buy it so it becomes the next ruffalo and then

take more time off i love you said by your own accord like you as the host of this podcast and the other podcast would have just been able to ring up penguin or random house and be like all right mate we got it do you remember soccer am well

well my wife's wife's written a really charming book about a little kid going to a cafe with a mum.

Do you know what?

I think people might think that everything is totally linked in the entertainment industry.

And obviously, I have absolutely no contacts in books.

I have one friend, Bethany, works in publishing, and that's it.

But I think people might presume everyone has access to, you know, just people just wandering around in the creative world.

And no.

Let me add another layer to that.

The picture book genre of which Jamie's book is part of is the hardest fucking genre because, like,

every goon thinks they have a picture book in them.

Yeah.

Whereas they're incredibly hard to write.

Like, sure, the word count may not be enormous, but every picture needs to pay off.

And there needs to be a sense because everyone's looked at what's the famous hat one by John Thing.

Where's my hat?

Oh, yeah.

And being like, I could do that.

I could do right five of those in a day.

You absolutely couldn't.

They are murderous to write.

The illustrator of my children's books, Chris Judge, does it.

And it takes much longer to write than to do one of my half-novels or novels.

And that's why it's an incredible achievement.

Congratulations, Jamie.

And sorry for criticizing your parenting at the episode, but hopefully you haven't listened to it.

Anyway, so I post all that.

And I, you know, because my Instagram game, as you know, is not amazing, but I'm trying to, you know like just get everybody all the people that follow me to buy it and they're all like 25 year old football fans from wiggins it's not necessarily the demographic but i'm just forcing it down their throats anyway i do that jamie is having a tough time getting willie to sleep she has not had breakfast this is a problem sohan i'm lost here she went off with her mate yeah she went with a mate and that was fine so he went down for a nap they have a coffee that's fine now she's back out on the on the she's doing the next nap walk.

Okay.

Because I've got some work to do.

I'm trying to write a column.

But she messaged me going, he can't stop crying, but she hasn't had breakfast.

And this is a problem if Jamie hasn't had breakfast.

This is not a secret.

I think she would accept this, that if she somehow hasn't had breakfast, then this things could spiral.

So I close my laptop.

I say, where are you?

And I just get there as quick as I can.

And I take the prayer and I say, just go and eat something.

Whatever you do, wherever you go, just go and eat something.

As chance would have it, she's been pushing Willie around for an hour and he has done absolutely nothing.

I literally turn the pram around.

The guy closes his eyes,

how like a light.

So I like, I sort of feel like the baby whisperer, but actually she's just done all the hard work and I've come in here and lifted the trophy.

So she's gone off.

That's great.

I then go and I just rock him outside a cafe and I have a strong three-quarter flat white, which is perfect, which is great news for me.

It's not as great content for the podcast.

I understand that, but I can't, I can't manufacture getting the wrong coffee.

As I'm leaving, I buy some cheese scones and a salad from the cafe that we might have for our lunch.

What an intriguing mixture of things.

That's really one foot on the accelerator, one foot on the brake there.

I just thought, you know, get some vegetables in, get them out of the way, and then you can eat your cheese scon lathered in butter, and you can feel justified in doing it.

I'm trying to write a column about the head of FIFA, Jenny Infantino, who I'm not a massive fan of.

He has, and you remember, you remembered all the heights and weights of all the people in Panini 84?

84.

So in the Panini album for the Club World Cup, the president of FIFA, Jenny Infantino, has made a sticker of himself.

Like it's just,

oh my God, can you like, like, oh, it just makes you want to like hurl into your own face.

It's like when we were growing up, you weren't going, oh, yeah, I've got Chris Waddle, but where's Subert Millichip?

That's who I want.

Where's graham kelly where's the set blatter shiny honestly so so he has become this big personality in a sport where you never really thought about these people he's also cozied up to trump he sort of cozies up to everyone and try tries to have no real political standpoints on anything he was given a medal of friendship or something from vladimir putin which he hasn't given back right you know i'd probably give that back wouldn't you?

I've just had a look at what you've been up to, and I'd maybe I'll just give it back.

And part of this is he won't do any press conferences or interviews with anyone, but he has done a sit-down with a YouTuber called I Show Speed, who is, you know, a gazillionaire, like 25-year-old, who sort of sits on a gaming chair and says, damn right, and whoops a lot.

And it's quite a fascinating half hour.

And obviously, I'm not the demographic for YouTubers, but at one point, there's a sort of lull in the conversation, and he turns to Jenny and Patino and says, Hey, I've got to show you my backflip.

He just stands and does a backflip.

I was like, what a vehicle to get out of tricky interviews.

Why did I not know this during the Soccer M Glory years?

For the moment, I could have just said, you know, this chat's not going great.

Let me just show you my backflip.

But, you know, I understand, like, this is probably what makes a good YouTuber.

Let's vow now, Max.

If we get Trump for the regular What's G yesterday,

we both have to backflip during it.

Just in a lull.

And, you know, we're just, you know, there's that sort of just after lunch lull in the episode because we realize we've talked too much about what he wears to bed and his breakfast choice yeah and we've really gone on and on he's told some great stories there's been some flight of fancy and now we're like donald we've got to rush this on at that point one of us goes wait we've got to show you our backflips very good backflips

great people great people great backflips we get home uh we have a bit of a tactical discussion about who's doing what jamie is going to take ian to gymnastics i'm going to take willie on another nap walk yeah he's pretty tired he had his four month shots on Monday I know we don't care about that because it's Wednesday we're talking about but he's still a bit sleepy after that

so I go for a walk I pop into the local groceries I buy a carrot and a ginger shot because I'm on a health kick right so

I eat my carrot and I feel incredibly virtuous I'm listening to the beautiful south's greatest hits because I want to stay on brand and it's a great carrying up the charts great album yep yep absolutely what's your favorite track on it I like prettiest I like old red eyes is Back.

Oh, that's a great song.

That is a great song.

I like Prettiest Eyes as well, but Old Red Eyes is Back.

Song for Whoever is a great one.

Also lovely.

Get home, get the salad out of the way, really eat the scon.

You know, the salad has oranges in it, which I think actually adds to it.

But, you know, some people are not sure about fruit in a salad, but it covers up all the lettuce.

Is it complicated when you get the carrot and the ginger and have to mail it off to the food in the box people so they can then send it back to you with instructions for

how to eat them

i raw dogged this myself i believe is the phrase i looked at them and obviously eating a raw carrot is quite a tricky i googled a few recipes for raw carrot and the dealia one that i really liked and so that i ate the carrot once delia had told me how to do it and the ginger short was very much just i treated it just like a bottle of water and then it to all intents and purposes it was the same just slightly more painful as i swallowed it but i thought this is hurting me so it must be good That was my general feeling about the ginger turmeric and other

things.

And it was called something like,

you know, what was it called?

It had a word that's really grenade.

Health grenade.

It wasn't health grenade.

It was like protect.

You know, it was something like, I'm not going to get flu for 50,000 years now.

Thank God for this.

Yeah, it's like men's moisturizer products.

always have very different names to ones that are marketed at women.

It's always like laser proof outer lair

or whatever for the lads.

Bulletproof.

Yeah.

Okay, so we have our salad.

Ian then, and with apologies to Michael Gregory, 755002, is still struggling to poo in the potty, and it's sort of slowed down his number twos.

So he does his first poo for two or three days.

It really adds an aroma to the whole house pretty quickly.

Interesting.

Where are we with the potty training journey?

Is he sleeping in a nappy and then by day?

By night nappies by day undies and he's absolutely nailing we's like he's really good at it does it himself the pride you feel when he stands by a toilet and does a little tinkle is honestly i can't tell you it's does he have a special box to lift him

so there is a little for a wee he'll just stand there and he'll just you know manage to lean over the bowl the idea is he does have a little staircase sort of commode type thing for the toilet but he still uses the potty mainly and he's not doing number twos there So we get that out of the way, and then we hang out a bit, which is nice.

And then he's running along and hits his head on the floor.

I'm sad about that, but that's fine.

I'm back on the road again.

It's another walk for Willie.

Do you want to see how many steps I did yesterday?

Yeah.

Quite incredible, I imagine.

I'm saying 12k.

Oh, I'm miles above that these days.

Wow.

Because, like, the new thing on a lot of the videos I'm sent by the algo are like, oh, going to the gym and running is old hat.

What you need to do is walk.

Yesterday, 23,186.

Whoa.

I was about a 10,000 until Willie was born and I've sort of doubled it or maybe up to about average over the month, 16,000.

Wow.

So yesterday was a big day because I did three big nap walks.

So we reconvene at the library where we are, books are on delay.

So Jamie and Ian have taken the tram.

I've pushed the pram down there.

And I'm listening to a 90s compilation album i remember called crush which had a red box and a broken heart it's got some absolute classics on there the long pigs bit of radio head some suede james all the things you want now in the little kids bit of the library there are lots of cushions Ian makes himself an obstacle course and runs along it a few times and then I build a house for Ian and his friend that he's just made Izzy and we're having a great time so we build a house he's in and out of the house he's sad when Izzy knocks a door over I say structurally we're gonna have difficulties with this house because they're just cushions they're just normal cushions he's a bit sad about that but he sort of understands it ultimately which is good i like that he at the library builds a house and then afterwards you take him to the soft play and he just sits reading a book quietly

so we all get the tram home together jamie looks at me and says you look dead and i am tired

That's worse than generic man three.

Just dead man one.

Dead.

I look dead anyway it's now must be what quarter to five ian needs willie sorry needs one more nap walk okay so i'm gonna do it

i'm gonna do the nap walk and let me get the the playlisting for crush this is mofarah you know

number of steps in a day granted he was going faster probably than you with the exception of the bit where you were running yeah but yeah it's remarkable quite often i think it's fair to say mofarah's running faster than i run

okay so i get him out, and the idea is, can we just get 20 minutes in for Willie?

So he is sad.

Yeah.

And when he's sad, you have to rock him a bit, put him back in the prayer, and then he's sad, spits out the dummy, you have to pick him up again, rock him again.

I rock him for On and On by the Longpigs, High and Dry Radio Head, Love Full by the Cardigans, 500 by Lush, Female to the Species Space, The U and Me song, The Wanded Eyes, The Frog Princess Divine Comedy, Huckleberry Grove Ocean Colour Scene, From the Bench at Belvedere, Boo Radley's, and the whole of Champagne and over.

And by the time we get to Cast Walk Away, I think, I've just got to go home.

This is a total.

That's a lovely

mix that like the you and me, I haven't thought about you and me song for a long time.

What about you and me always?

And then Love Fool, which is another classic of a vaguely similar genre.

Wow.

I'd say you were loving it.

Oh, I was really enjoying the music, but I had one ear in because you have to listen to the crying to feel alive.

I get home and just say this has been a failure.

So, Jamie takes Willie, gives him a bath.

He loves a bath, like he's suddenly giddy with happiness.

I know you weren't like this a while ago.

I go and play trains with Ian, and we're pushing a tractor around the train, and that's going well.

Yeah, I think Jamie's made chicken nuggets and chips.

I'm feeling him some chips, good for him.

You know, it's been a long day.

Jamie takes Willie to bed.

I run a bath, and Ian does not want to bar having a bath, but like, this will fill 20 minutes if I can get him in there.

So I say there's a race between a rubbish truck and a tractor and I run and he follows me and he runs straight into the bath.

And this is a wonderful move.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You say this is happening out on the street right now?

No, no, no.

I say right now, I've got a rubbish truck.

He's got a tractor.

I say, oh my God, it's the rubbish tractor race.

Let's go.

So we run and he wins.

And then he's by the bath and he says, can I get in?

I'm like, of course you can get in.

Let's get in the bath.

He gets in the bath.

He won't brush his teeth, but you know, anyway, that's fine.

There's nothing I can do.

Who has the bath?

Jamie's in there putting Willie to bed.

So I'm doing bedtime.

This is exciting because, you know, even though we have sort of crossed the Rubicon and I'm allowed to do it, normally, if Jamie's in the vicinity, he will not let me do it.

So we're in his bedroom, close the door.

Jamie, I presume, is in the kitchen now, Willie will be asleep, making dinner from a box.

So don't judge us.

We're time poor.

No judgment.

Some judgment.

I'm doing bedtime, but he has insisted on bringing one of his battery-powered motorbikes into the bed.

And whenever he presses a button, it goes, burn a rubber, baby.

And then plays 10 seconds of like thrash metal.

It's his version of one of those white noise machines.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so he keeps doing that.

And then I have to say, look, there's no, and it doesn't have an off button.

Like, to get the batteries out, you have to unscrew it with a Phillips.

And I haven't got that with me.

So I'm like, he keeps pressing it.

I'm like, okay, but eventually, and then he wants mama, but like we read a book about a worm wanting an apple.

And at the end of it, this girl eats the apple with the worm in it, but the worm's happy because the worm's in the girl's stomach with the apple, but he hates the end of it.

So I suddenly change the end of it and just we don't read the last three pages.

So I read that three times.

He falls asleep.

I thought what you were going to say there is when the girl almost inspires you and you just swallow the motorbike and then coming from your internals when we're trying to record this podcast is just burn rubber, baby.

Actually, sometimes, because I do all, you know, I do the radio from this room as well.

And there are some, they're called toot-toot drivers kicking about.

And there was once when I was doing a show and I could just hear the sort of noise.

I kept emailing them, messaging the producer going, there were a noise.

And it was like this toot-toot driver,

but his batteries had run low, so it starts sort of going toot-toot driver.

It was like in a box and it was just like really it was really disconcerting while I'm trying to have serious conversations about you know Nottingham Forest's owner invading the pitch or whatever

anyway he's asleep I lay there for a bit I extricate myself you did us and I open the door now we've got the door we've got in his bedroom is old and incredibly loud and it's a really you know if we just had a door that was silent it would be so easy but we don't so anyway then there's always a risk he's going to wake him up but we don't wake him up how's the door allowed the latch goes clink clink oh yeah and it's like a new door can't be wanted by a new door etc anyway so every time there's a bit of a jeopardy there but i get through i get to the kitchen jamie's nowhere to be seen she's fallen asleep with willie so there's no dinner in a box she's made half of it we're gonna have to have the pork dumplings and turmeric soup tomorrow so i put the soup in the fridge because i think jamie's asleep

I make three pieces of toast, one with cheddar cheese, two with peanut butter.

I'm over the moon.

The dead man needs more food than the dead man's done 22,000 steps.

He's done more steps than Mofara.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, that's what I get.

Then Jamie messages going, oh, I fell asleep.

I'll come out and make the dinner.

I'm like, I said, it's too late to make the dinner.

I open the fridge.

I take two squares of lint, mint intense.

I pour myself a glass of red wine.

I come to this shed and I switch on my laptop.

And there you are.

Talking to Guy Montgomery.

And I've got two squares of lint because this is what we did yesterday.

Oh my, I'd forgotten about this.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I eat the lint and I drink my glass of wine, do a lovely podcast with Guy Montgomery.

It'll be out soon, I imagine, if it's not been out already.

That goes well.

I don't want to tell everybody what happens in the episode.

Yeah, it was a lovely episode.

But I have no concept while recording, you know, that I've been through.

I've walked, I've walked a marathon before this.

There you are.

You've just sung some songs to yourself about how great you are.

I just wandered down to your basement.

That's all right.

You know, Dr.

Footlights, as my old co-host of BBC London Breakfast, Joe Good said, who used to star in Crossroads, you know, Dr.

Footlight, when the light goes on, you've just got to deliver, despite five hours previously being told I look dead.

Pod finishes.

I brush my teeth.

I get into bed.

I'm in the day bed.

I do the wordle, get it in four.

I do the squaredle, lights off, 10:45 p.m.

10:46 p.m.

Ian wakes up.

I go to bed with Ian.

I fall asleep.

Lord knows when I wake up then, but you know, then the night has begun.

That is the yesterday.

I've learned a valuable lesson here, which is

you never know what a person is going through.

You know, like if you're in the bank and someone's just being a bit of a jerk.

And I'm not saying you were a bit of a jerk at all last night.

You were one of the people

on this.

You just.

Why is Max hosting this episode like a jerk in a queue at Lloyd's Bank?

Going, you can open that other cashier.

There's another, there's five of them.

Just open the, I can see you behind the curtain.

Open the, oh, there's five of them here.

I apologize again.

No, that's all right.

I don't apologize.

You know, we're all just living our lives.

Daisy, should we finish with a really nice bit of feedback?

And I, you know, I'm not here for effusive praise.

I don't know about you, David, but it's really lovely.

And we did read out Michael Gregory's, This is Terrible.

Although, to be fair to Michael, I feel he had a point.

Daisy says, Dear David and Max, this isn't a listener submission as such, but I wanted to say a huge, huge thank you.

Your podcast brings me the most enormous amount of delight, and I'm always very, very happy when I'm listening.

This is going to sound obnoxious, but I mean it sincerely.

I ran the London Marathon, and what did you do yesterday was the soundtrack to my training.

I don't think I could have done it if you hadn't been in my ears.

I'd still be crouched on a pavement in Deptford weeping.

I think it's a truly magical thing you're making, and it feels deliciously rebellious to listen to something truly joyful when joy is in short supply.

And no other podcast would reference Samuel Beckett and the anal application of Nando's Perinase.

This should get you some sort of award for excellence in broadcasting.

I'm not going to say keep up the good work because I hate it when people say that.

The point of this email is to say you've already done so much good work.

I'm so grateful that it exists and I can listen to it.

Thank you, Daisy.

Thank you, Daisy.

Daisy.

Yeah, I love you, Daisy.

Well, if you would like to get in touch with the podcast, and you don't have to write an email like Daisy's, but we really enjoyed the guy who was basically reenacting Toto's song Africa.

One of 58,000 listeners we have in Uganda.

We don't have 58,000 listeners.

I don't think we have 58,000 listeners, David.

So

in Uganda, would be quite a stretch.

Marsba, let's bring him in.

Are all our listeners in Uganda?

How many Ugandan listens have there been?

So since we started this podcast, we have had a total of 59 listens in Uganda.

59?

Yes, go on, Uganda.

If you're in Uganda, please get in touch with us.

We will welcome emails from other people, but if you are in Uganda or if you've listened to us in Uganda, we'd like to know as much information as possible.

And here's how you get in touch.

To get in touch with the show, you can email us at whatdidyoudo yesterdaypod at gmail.com.

Follow us on Instagram at pod and please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform and if you didn't please don't

so there we are i'm enjoying this david i have a lovely time i don't think you're dead and i don't think you look dead my eyes go sewed honestly like my eyes go deep and do you know what this is not relevant because it's tomorrow but like Friday is my day off and I've just been asked to host the project.

I'm not against hosting.

It's quite a big TV show in Australia.

Yeah.

But I was so ready for a long lunch and just to lie down.

And now I've got to put a suit on and some makeup and look sprightly about, you know, what's happening in

somewhere in Australia.

I'm so tired I can't think of one place in Australia.

RIP, Max.

R.I.P.

R.I.P.

Look at my eyes.

They've disappeared.

Hey, thanks, David.

And look, just as long as you remember that everything is showbiz, that's the way to get through these things.

I did forget that that recently, but.

22,000 steps.

You've just reminded me.

Yep, 20,000 steps is showbiz.

Thanks, Max.

Thanks, David.

Hello, Max Rushton here.

You might remember me from Series 9, Episode 2 of Parenting Hell.

I'm here to tell you about Dog by the Bakery Door, the debut children's book by author Jamie Bruce.

Dog by the Bakery Door is a charming story of the magical things a little boy sees on a normal trip to get a coffee with his mum.

Perfect for newborns, three-year-olds, six-year-olds, all children.

Just Google Dog by the Bakery Door.

Here's a review from my three-year-old son.

Dog by the Bakery Door.

I have this book.

Full disclosure: the author might be his mother and my wife, but even more reason to buy it.

She has to live with us and a baby 24/7 has sacrificed her career for my model.

So being an amazing mum to two boys.

Thank you.

Goodbye.