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Podcasts, there are millions of them.

Some might say too many.

I have one already.

I don't have any, because there are enough.

Politics, business, sport, you name it.

There's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.

But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.

Why is that?

Are they scared?

Too afraid of being censored by the man?

Possibly.

But not us.

We're here to ask the only question that matters.

We'll try and say it at the same time, Max.

What did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday?

That's it.

All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.

Day before yesterday, Max?

Nope.

The greatest and most interesting day of your life.

Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it.

I'm Max Rushton.

And I'm David O'Doherty.

Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

Hello, welcome to midweek mayhem of what did you do yesterday.

David O'Doherty is over there.

I'm Max Rushton.

Hi, David.

Midweek Mema Mayhem.

Mayhem.

Which is how the Beastie Boys or or Chris Cross would have done it, of course.

What I'm intrigued by, occasionally we get a glimpse into your broadcasting career, roving reporter for Vanessa Feltz, BBC, Cambridge, Shire, etc.

Did you ever go full commercial?

Were you ever max with the money in the mix playing non-stop 10 hits ad for

free?

Like that sort of thing.

Do you know what?

It's interesting you say that.

No, but there is, and I was going to come to this later, I wasn't going to start with this two-star review of the podcast.

But since you brought it up, Tasmina27 says,

the headline is, had so much potential for that.

Such a great idea.

But Max Rushton, question mark, who I guess, and this is exactly why I bring it up, who I guess has been classically trained in radio,

whatever that is, insists on treating podcasts like like filler content between songs.

Every time the discussion gets interesting, he derails it.

I think the first episode, he says he doesn't think any other podcasts are good, and his disdain for the medium shows.

She thinks I went to the Bruno Brooks Radio School to go,

coming up, all the hits from the 70s, 80s, and best of today.

Right now, it's Sade.

How you doing out there?

No, I never did that.

I've thought a lot about you talked about a few weeks ago listening to commercial radio.

I think it was what would you bring to the beach?

Yeah, and it was and it was just the fact that he was absent-mindedly went, oh, yeah, he clearly thought about it and thought, I've got a good thing.

I've just been thinking, you know, you know, I like going to the beach.

What do you take?

You're in Melbourne.

Like, everyone's got a bucket and spade in the back of the car for goodness sake.

But have you been really listening?

Because once you start listening like really, really intently to like commercial radio after the breakfast show, you realize that it's just people who aren't allowed to do the breakfast show who have to keep saying, how funny were Woofie and Jezza this morning?

Aren't they the best?

You're like, oh, I'm killing them inside.

I text in, what do I bring to the beach?

Like really sinister stuff.

A tarpaulin, some quick lime, a shovel.

It's not a body, it's a dead dog.

And beep.

And the corpse of my mother-in-law.

This is the lighthouse family, because we are going to be.

Hey, big news, everyone.

We're award-winning.

We've won an award, David.

Stop it.

We won the Comedy Podcast Devotees World Cup Grand Final.

We saw off Ruhlustap, Richard Herring's comedy vehicle.

Ellison John need to get Robins on, don't we?

Wow, that's so interesting.

Anne Herring, actually.

Anne Herring, yes.

Jamie would love Richard.

Loves Richard Herring.

So we can gloat.

We'll have the trophies.

Yeah, we'll be there going, what have you won?

Show us your medals, Herring.

And the Glue Factory podcast, which I think Pierre Novelli is on, unless I'm mistaken.

So, yeah, thanks for all our votes.

Do we win?

We win.

It's interesting.

The prize is £17 million.

A beachfront house each in Malibu.

And we now are to move next door to each other and both live in Malibu in enormous, quite vulgar, mock Greek temples.

If you're in.

It's a bit like what?

There's a famous line about boxing that is it it's hard to get out of a rolls royce and go into the gym it's something like that you know yeah and unfortunately that's gonna become us now our days are gonna be so tedious just about hiring and firing staff stuff like that

And the lady holding the grapes didn't seem that into it.

She was not fanning at the right angle.

I mean, actually, sounds a little bit like me in a cafe already.

So like

I needed entertainment, so I had three locksmiths wrestle in front of me to the death.

It was marvelous entertainment.

The coffee kept coming, and I measured it.

Ah, that is 14 20ths.

Send it back.

Good morning, Max.

This is an anonymous email.

You'll find out why it's anonymous in a second.

Greetings to David, whenever Max is reading this to you.

There we are.

I work for the public service in Australia.

Due to the severe drudgery of the workplace, I listen to your podcast quite often.

A few months back, I decided to infringe on your copyright and asked my colleagues, what did you do yesterday?

I have since studied your methods of getting someone to talk for 45 minutes about their choice pubic hair length and have excelled at spending hours at work doing nothing more than asking my boss about herself.

Notably, once, she did let me know she forced her husband to remove her pubic hair while she was in labor with her first child.

Oh my goodness.

I have recently received a promotion and one of their comments was that I contribute greatly to workplace culture.

If promotions came with acceptance speeches, I'd have to thank you for allowing me to do less work for more money.

This is the genuine impact of what did you do yesterday.

He is raking it in.

I wonder what the aspect of this civil service, this person...

I hope it's not, you know, like ARC and Rescue or something like that, where it's where you're lowered by the rope to pick the person out of the ocean.

And

they need to concentrate more on their work.

But thank you very much.

On behalf of this award-winning podcast, we say thank you.

Totally right.

We do say thank you.

And, you know, well done for improving the workplace culture by asking your boss about her pubic hair.

This is on the subject of Siga Ross.

Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.

James Pritchard writes, dear David Maximilsba, allow me to take you back to December 2022.

Argentina won the World Cup, Leo Varadka took over as Taoiseach of Ireland, and Pele and Pope Benedict left this mortal coil.

On a more personal note, I was attending my wedding.

My bride's entrance had been meticulously planned with my daughter first entering the room to the opening bars of Siga Ross Hoppy Poya or Hoppy Pollard.

Oh, our song.

Yeah, before my beautiful wife glided through the door as the track reached its first crescendo.

A fond and loving loving image locked in my long-term memory.

Now, fast forward to May 2025 and what did you do yesterday number 21 Symphony of the Butt.

Imagine my horror as this treasured recollection was systematically destroyed by an orchestra of flatulence.

In 30 seconds, you have turned our wedding march into yet another piece of what did you do yesterday toilet humor.

Shame on you.

Big fan, slightly concerned by how much your discussions are focused on gas, including David's recent tour in which he described me as the quote guy in the front row that he hadn't really noticed.

Keep up the good work, says James.

I'll never forget you, James.

What he refers to there, 20 listeners who didn't listen right to the end.

Mars bar, by way of an Easter egg, but an Easter egg, if you like, without any substance and just a little trumpet sound as it comes out.

He played the Sugaros song that we talk about a lot on this podcast with the main melody played by a succession of farts.

Yeah, I thought it was a little crude.

You know, I thought we were slightly above that.

I mean, obviously, when you think about the content, we clearly aren't.

On the subject of Symphony of the Butt, some feedback from John Joyce of Dublin.

Dear Max, David, and producer Miles Butt.

As you've asked for how people listen to the podcast, here's my contribution.

I was listening to What Did You Do Yesterday, 21, the beautifully titled Symphony of the Butt, while parenting my nine-week-old son.

Many congratulations.

Congratulations.

I should probably have have been giving the parenting my full attention, but as previous correspondents have noted, it's a good podcast to listen to while doing other things, and I did only have one earbud in.

As he's our first child and a bit younger than Willie Rushton, my wife Rachel and I listen when Max's yesterdays involve the exploits of Ian and Willie as part education and part scare story of what lies ahead.

As the episode reached the end, I was changing the boy's nappy.

I was almost finished when Max asked, and how would you lower yourself into that, David?

This is the bath of cum.

For new listeners, it's the bath of cum.

This caused me to laugh, snort in some way that the baby had never seen before, and which delighted him to no end.

Or maybe he just happened to smile at the point.

There followed three fart noises, which led me to smile idiotically at the baby, which I do every time he goes to the toilet, while also regretting that he couldn't have squeezed that one out pre-nappy change.

It took, frankly, too long for me to cop that the farts were coming from inside the earbud, and I'd been gurning with pride at my oblivious little son due to a combination of soaring cigar Ross Chimes and DOD's fart track.

You see, it's yours.

In my defense, I'm quite tired.

Keep up the great work.

Love the show.

It's nice to find a podcast that Rachel and I both enjoy, though she prefers midweek mayhem, and I'm more of a traditionalist.

Cheers.

John Joyce, Dublin.

Thank you very much, John Joyce.

I don't want to become known as just a flatulence podcast, but you did attempt to count all of your farts last week before the day got too bleak and you forgot the number.

I think we were up to 11 when you had stopped us it was higher than that and I think it was really it was a very conservative day for for me has Willie entered the game oh yeah oh yeah he's entered the game yeah yeah yeah I mean

they're so egg-based it's pretty wild but it is interesting how certainly midweek mayhem has certainly it's veered towards that area considering the debates we had about not putting Nish Kumar out first because we were worried that would set the tone it feels like we were always going to end up here on that subject lorna from timperley regarding dishwashers as cat litter trays uh hello max and david in miles bar after listening to the matthew crosby episode and hearing david suggest you could train a cat to use the dishwasher as a toilet oh yeah what a suggestion i thought i would pass on my experience my experience of this of something similar just in case someone was thinking of trying it I work in a veterinary practice, and once a massive dog poo found itself into the washing machine hidden hidden within a blanket.

We only realized it was there once it made its way to the front of the machine spin cycle to say hello through the window.

Was it knocking on the window?

Just waving.

Lorna says, You have not lived until you've watched a massive dird spin round and round for an hour.

The most amazing thing.

It came out intact and still stinking of poo.

So sadly, I do not think your dishwasher idea will work and I urge no one to try it.

Loving the pod, keep up the good work.

Lorna from Timperley.

Yeah, so the washing powder or liquid had no effect on us.

No, interesting.

It just retained its absolute essence.

And the fact that it didn't break up either.

Do you think it was on a gentle wash?

If it was on delicates, you'd have to put, if you were to try and wash a big dog turn, you've got to put it on delicates.

I really think.

I was once walking in my area.

This is the final turd's tale I will ever tell of this podcast.

And

make a note of this.

7.55 p.m.

Melbourne time, 29th of May, 2025.

And David says, this is the last turd story he says in this podcast.

I'm going to give it, I'd say within 10 minutes, I suspect.

I said, listeners won't have a chance to get in touch.

Anyway, do carry on.

So

there's a bit of an old university near where I am.

And there were what I thought...

so it's close to the back of pubs and there was a big old loadie in there and this had happened a few times and I thought it was a human one okay that someone had obviously come out of the nightclub or whatever that is so grim that is absolutely awful and a little ways up the street I met a former Irish rugby international Keith Wood who was walking either a St.

Bernard or a Great Dane.

All right, okay.

And I didn't think of it until I saw him walk up and then the dog just sort of pull him into this slightly off-the-path alcove area.

And yeah, because I was still watching, he had to bring out a big old bag.

Let's just say.

Yeah, he had to go back.

So you think he wasn't...

Brian O'Driscoll was not going to pick up.

He was not Brian O'Driscoll.

Right, okay.

Or Keith Wood.

Lisa says, uh in regards max to you being described as generic man three a woman at my work described me as room temperature plain yogurt not a flavor and not even from the fridge

oh that's even worse that's terrible

oh poor lisa What a tough workplace that someone would say that to you.

What are you doing?

You must have had one of those sort of honesty days or something.

And you were expecting to be like, I really like when you come in in the morning, you bring a really happy vibe to it.

And they get to the next person,

you are like room temperature.

UHT yogurt.

Pete says, this is on the subject of being able to breathe through your backside.

Good evening, lads.

Read the breathing through your ass conversation.

I just thought I'd add that once when I was little, my sister, in an effort to keep me quiet while babysitting myself, convinced me that you can suck through your anus.

I spent the rest of the day sitting bare arse on a sheet of A4 paper trying to get it to stick.

Thanks for the laughs.

Everything is showbiz.

In it for life.

Pete.

Thanks, Pete.

Yeah, that would be useful.

In addition to my snorkeling idea, where you would just be able to breathe through it with your face underwater, you could also then use it to almost stick yourself, you know, mountain climbing or whatever.

You could stick to the rock face.

It means touching the void is a different film, isn't it?

I've got some feedback from my friends.

These people are brutal.

Yeah.

Ollie, this is the Gary Lineker podcast.

He says, with two footballing broadcasting legends on the pod, I couldn't believe it when Gary explained he was going to watch a team he owns play in London with thousands of fans at a big event, the first time Gary had been in a dressing room since his retirement, and nothing on the game.

No

updates on the result, the goals, the match, nothing, no questions from sports broadcasters.

Surely a tenth of the time you spoke about the wagon wheel breakfast was justified.

The poor man had to role play the ordering of his dinner to ensure nothing was missed.

Were questions asked?

Does Marsball hate the Baller League?

Was Gary censured by the BBC?

I can't remember if we talked about the game or not.

But yeah,

I thought the role play, I mean, this is not to answer your question, Only, but I really enjoyed it.

I don't know why I haven't asked any other guests to roleplay.

Maybe because it was Gary Lineker, it just seemed fun.

There was a point in the role play.

I think you said, like, okay, so what did you order?

And I'm the waiter.

And he just ignored that.

And he said, so I ordered three patatas prabhas.

And you were like, no, no, no.

Order to me like I am.

I'd say, because you could pick a few points in that where Gary probably started to regret having given in to your pestering.

I didn't even pester.

There was one message.

He should have to say yes.

Full Stephen Gray about it.

And I would say it was the point where you, because if I remember on the video calls we were doing it, you also assumed you put your posture up like you were waitering, you know, like one hand around the front, one hand around the back kind of thing.

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Come into your local store today.

Rob says, another friend of mine, Rob says, I felt very sad for DOD in this week's episode.

It's a few weeks back of the Egg Unite game.

He clearly wanted to tell you about the goal he scored, but you just plowed right past it.

He managed to start to say, and I scored.

I enjoyed it more as a previous episode was 30 minutes on your game of football.

Oh, I'm sorry, David.

Very briefly,

it was an unsavable penalty.

Oh, I did.

Someone once told me a tell

if you're a good keeper.

The tell

is when you go to the back of your run-up, your standing foot at that moment, at the back of the run-up, points to the side in a similar way to Boris Becker's tongue showing where he's going to put it in the goal.

Apparently, your standing foot gives the game away.

So I was very aware of this and did quite a contemporary run-up.

You know, increasingly in football now, a little one or a stutter.

A serpentine kind of a run.

And I hammered it and it hit the underside of the bar and went in.

I think I reacted, but my vibe was definitely don't thank the postman for delivering the mail.

You know, really.

Which, sorry, brings us on to do you have a match update i mean because i feel along with the listeners we're all enjoying this roller coaster of a season for the melbourne bohemians we beat the point cook jets 3-0 on sunday my knee's a bit dodgy i played the first half i set up the first goal played in centre midfield did okay i think i did okay i told the gaffer i'd you know no more than 60 to preserve the knee so we're 2-0 up two goals from Quentin.

Oh, Quentin.

So yeah, what a player.

But he's a doubt for Sunday.

My knee's not the best.

So

I shouldn't put us both in the same bracket.

He's the key man.

Yeah.

But yeah, it was a good win against a side we probably should have beaten.

That's great.

Thank you.

No, no, my pleasure.

Gary says, Fuck you, Gary Dineke.

After listening to this podcast yesterday while out walking the dog, I couldn't bloody stop thinking about wagon wheels.

Probably over 10 years since I last ate one.

I drove to Tesco.

I actually drove to Tesco and bought a six-pack.

I ate four.

And the last two are mocking me.

I feel sick.

He did.

You ought to push him.

He wasn't going to mention the brand name Wagon Wheel.

Because he said he had a sweet treat, I think, was all he said initially.

Yeah.

Which to me implies, like, if I'm thinking Gary Lenker is having something sweet.

Because he's sophisticatedly lived in Catalonia.

You know, it's a little bit of chocolate or a little sort of

tart.

Yeah, something like that.

And then to just bring out a dirty old pack of wagon wheels.

Amazing.

I haven't messaged him yet to say, could you just let us know how you eat a wagon wheel?

Maybe could you film yourself eating one and just send it over?

Should I do that or should I wait for a little bit?

I just think, you know, well, I'll just wait for a little bit, I think.

Here's what he does.

He forces the whole thing in like a tape going into an old car cassette deck, you know, so that his mouth is like exaggeratedly like this.

And he actually has quite a sad face.

And then he just stares off into the middle distance.

He just has to wait.

He has to kind of wait through erosion.

Yeah.

He sort of is what he gets real pleasure from actually that pain in his jaw, that sort of cramp that you get.

And he's just like,

and he's just really hoping that Trevor McDonald doesn't see him at that exact moment.

He's sort of girding his

wagon wheel until he can like soften the biscuit and get into the mallow.

And then it's all alright.

The phone rings, and it's Alan Shearer.

And Shearer is like, Ari, thought last night went pretty well.

And he's like, I can't talk here.

My enzymes are working all over.

Is it a wagon wheel, guys?

Hey, let's go to they're just normal countries.

Loads of suggestions for the name of the new quiz.

New listeners, there are six countries in which what did you do yesterday has been listened to once.

Not one listener, just one listen.

And where they decided it's not for me and it's not for my countrymen either.

Suggested names for the quiz in which countries have only one person hurdle

from Rhys Wedle, says Anna.

That's not bad.

Flags of our farters, says John.

We're trying to get away from that, yeah, John.

It's not that sort of podcast.

Darmesh says, given the increasingly scatological nature of the content, the new quiz should be called Incontinence.

That's actually not bad.

It's really good.

And Aaron says,

our ordinance survey says,

that is two different quizzes, isn't it?

But yes, it's quite good because there is that

for our ordinance survey.

So I think incontinence and weddle, sort of, they're the ones that roll off the tongue.

the best.

Now, there was an interesting moment, David, where you announced on social media that nobody listened in Madagascar.

You had a guess of Madagascar.

Yeah.

Timo said, fake news from DOD as I was an occasional listener of what did you do yesterday while staying in Manacara on the east coast of Madagascar did we learn nothing from the previous quiz fiasco

yeah big in Madagascar and then Marsbar is able to look at the global stats yeah Marsbar was at 73 listens 73 listens in Madagascar yeah we wouldn't be able to walk the streets in Madagascar would we walk the streets of where Max walk the streets of where name somewhere in Madagascar Manacara my favorite part Madagascar City.

The capital of Madagascar is Madagascar City.

Everybody knows that.

You can check and let us know later.

I will study the map of Madagascar when this is finished.

Katie is our guesser today.

Okay.

So at this stage, neither me or David know any of the six countries.

Hi, David Maximasba.

I love the pod and all that.

My suggestion of a name for the Normal Cheeses Replacement Country Guessing Game, which is actually quite a good name, the Normal Cheeses Replacement Country Guessing Game, is the one and only, partly because it's clear and descriptive, just like the pod no messing also because it can have a theme tune the one and only by chesney hawks but not the original i'd love to hear a natty cover version played by dod on his little keyboard are you up for that david could you do that because you haven't interestingly you've made a real break from the little keyboard like it's not played any role in the podcast.

I'm easy either way, but I wondered if you had thought to separate your two crafts of stand-up comedy and podcasting.

In a similar way, you haven't been wanging on about 343 343 very much or the various

team setups in contemporary football.

If the opportunity arises, so a song,

let me have a think about it that just names countries to the theme of.

One and only, but with countries.

Okay.

What you need is a country that rhymes with only, don't you?

That's

Itoli,

Itoli.

Is Itoli a country?

Well, Italy is.

I was just trying to say it in a different way.

That is a horrible rhyme.

Yeah, that is.

Okay.

I mean, I think this is the first time ever that a bit of us chatting won't make the edit.

I'm actually hoping that it doesn't make the edit.

We're frantically trying to think of a country that rhymes with only.

My one listener country guess is.

Do you want to know what it is, David?

I want to know what it is.

Mars Barr, are you standing by with the...

Mars Barr is in a room with a sort of Winston Churchill type map of the world that he is moving little pieces around.

Exactly.

The war room.

He's in the war room.

My one listener country guess is, because it's just a normal country, Costa Rica.

Yeah, I'd say we're popping in Costa Rica.

Well, I presume Marsbar's done this research, but I'm going to say we've had 221 listens.

If we've had 73 in Madagascar, we'd have 2-2-1 in.

2-2-1 here, because I'm going 2-2-1.

I will have a look now.

While we do that, though, I did want to address as much fun as this quiz is.

Oh, are we about to get sacked?

What's happening?

No, it's more the fact that the format of this game is sort of very flimsy.

It doesn't really exist.

I think we need to develop and spitball what's the actual structure of this game.

Are people just going to guess?

And when they get one right, they just get one right.

Because there's no opportunity for anyone to win it apart from the very last guesser.

So someone else is doing it.

Whereas the cheese game, someone could win it if they've got all five.

So there's sort of zero stakes.

You're almost better off not guessing guessing until the sixth country so

i want i wonder you're almost better off not listening to the podcast

so people need to guess six people need to guess six countries i think that's a terrible idea but i think if the person guesses one and gets it right they get to guess again the following week winner stays on stays on element yeah winner stays on yeah yeah yeah great idea got it okay so look katie uh is winner stays on is no katie isn't because costa rica has more than one, either has nought listens or more than one.

And Marsbar will tell us how many.

And maybe we should up the stakes by having three people, the first three we get in a week, then.

You know what I mean?

Oh, no, no, no.

It's got to get us to Christmas.

This has got to get us to Christmas, David.

You're not supposed to say that out loud.

Imagine if one person got all six over in a six-week period being you questions would have to be asked.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Miles, but do you know how many Costa Rica?

Do you have to go through every country and then?

I'm just running the report and it looks like.

All right.

Well,

in the last 12 months alone, which excludes it, it has had 183 listens in Costa Rica.

183 listens in Costa Rica.

Thank you to all those in Costa Rica.

The 183 times someone has gone, this is what I'll listen to.

This is very exciting.

Gracias, Costa Rica.

Oh, it's your day david yeah we've been banging on for hours haven't we it's your day so tell us about it we

awaken at

8 30 okay

and so unfair in a dark hole like where am i oh okay famously david adorteri isn't fully there for the first few moments when he wakes up he's just going david o'tor he's the best guy in the world he's so good at everything he puts his hand to.

David O'Doh.

These are good songs.

No, this is even before any of that.

Where am I?

And it starts to come back to me.

David, you did a gig in the west of Ireland the previous night.

Not relevant, but drove to Acco Island after the gig.

Yeah, McLeod, back to the sheep.

I'm staying down in Cheapy Town.

There's going to be some washer bracket, gutter bracket chat here.

Scottie.

the thing i did before i went to sleep was i had bought a blackout blind because the problem with accle and many would see it not as a problem but as one of the great things the morning sun streams through the window and renders the curtains utterly pointless these are lined curtains and there's almost no point to them existing in the morning so consequently you wake up at six o'clock or half six and sometimes you can get back to sleep but often you can't.

So I decided, you know, as I want to spend the summer there for short periods, going backwards and forwards, etc., I'll get a blackout blind.

And good for you.

I put it up the night before while drinking a can of beer, and I put it up quite badly, to be honest.

It's not going to last.

It's hard to get them right.

It's there.

Great.

I'm happy.

I've had a good sleep.

I've been on tour for a week and I'm just going to spend the morning in Accle now and do some of my favorite things.

Now, there is a crisis almost immediately.

It's, I've become aware on tour, Max, that my socks and undies are nearing the end of their life cycle.

Oh, I'm very much in that.

You know, they're husks now.

The band around the waist is good, but the in the gooches are terrible.

It's just a sort of

dregs.

It's dregs.

Is it cycling, I wonder, that's doing that?

Or is it all of the guffs that I've been blasting out?

I mean, I haven't bought pants for months, but this is your day.

You know, years even.

I'd say years.

So the socks are wearing almost window clear on the point on the Achilles where the sock meets the shoe.

Now, I really enjoy wearing things till they fully wear out, sometimes catastrophically.

As in with cycling, you definitely wear jeans out on the arse.

So I do love it when the moment where you just sit down, you hear the,

and then it's time to.

It's like Jack Reacher.

I'll put them in and I'll get my next pair of trousers, and that's it.

So soon, not yet, but soon we're going to have to.

Because these undies that I've put on that I then took off at the end of the day, the balls are just fully out.

They are just dangling.

A briefs, a jockey pant.

What's the...

No, I enjoyed this sort of a midpoint.

There's a cotton, slightly elasticated

underpant that's made of a soft cotton.

Not, you know, I would imagine you're a real hard cotton undie man.

Whereas mine.

What possibly defines?

How do you look at a man and decide that they're wearing soft or hard cotton?

And how hard?

I mean, you make it sound like corrugated iron that you describe that.

I'm seeing you every morning at Melbourne.

You go down to the Yarra River with your one pair of undies and you swash them around in the tide,

rubbing soap into them, trying to...

Yeah, these ones,

I did get a pair of Uniglow.

That shop had some undies that they claimed were like, completely breathable.

I think Roger Federer might have endorsed them.

Oh, good on, Roger.

I thought I'll have me a piece of that, but they are too sexy.

They're almost

black and of a sort of lingerie type capacity.

Are they too sexy to the point where if you've got them on, you can't stop yourself?

Helen Cobb can't stop herself, but you can't even stop yourself.

You're just

instantly amorous to Japson.

They just take you away.

When Wright said Fred wrote the song, I'm too sexy.

They were thinking about these pants.

So we make the decision we're going to have to deal with this now.

And then I'm going to throw out 10 pairs of socks and undies.

I can't imagine Accle Island is like a, as a wholesaler for pants.

You know, it's like the place to do this.

No, I'll probably maybe go to TK Max somewhere like that.

Okay, well, let's hope it's on one of your yesterdays.

Wait for two weeks so we get the pant shopping day.

Marks and Spencer, they've always got a good one.

Then tasks begin.

Pow!

So the last time we were on the island, birds shat all over my car in Dublin.

And I had put it through the machine and it had failed to remove the turds.

And Helencopter took it upon herself to do it

using a very mild scouring brush.

Okay.

And in one of the worst things that's ever happened,

she replaced the turds with,

because it's a black car, just silver circles where the paint has all been removed.

I see.

So you can always, it's nice in a way, because it's nostalgic, you can always see where the birds had shattered.

Like a dead body, like a chalk outline of each of them.

Okay.

And do you care?

It's, you know, it's still getting you from A to B.

Yes, it doesn't affect the performance of the car, but I looked it up online and they said get the special black tea cut,

which is the product that removes scratches.

I use it on bikes sometimes.

Okay.

So I think it has a very mild scouring agent in it.

So you rub it on and it effectively removes a layer of paint, I think, or removes half a layer of paint.

Question, yes, Max?

Feels like this is the first

mistake that Helen Copter has made since we've started discussing odd days.

She is portrayed as much like Jamie as a perfect partner.

I just wondered when she did that.

Were you just,

what the fuck have you done there?

I don't imagine that's your style.

Or was it just a, did you just laugh about it and go, hey, this is funny?

Although I have 18 bikes and I care deeply about bikes, it's never transferred into cars cars at all.

So she was to have done that to Stephen Roach's.

Oh my goodness.

Oh my God.

That is

the end of days.

So

she did feel bad about it, definitely.

Because it's something when the sun shines on the bonnet of a car, like it's weird that a black car shows up that stuff more.

But I tried this product and it has worked a bit.

Oh, okay.

We'll give it another little while.

Like there's all sorts of warnings on the product, which is do not overuse this, because we could effectively bring the car back to just pure silver, like Michael J.

Fox's DeLorean from Back to the Future.

You're only going to do this on Ackle Island.

You never do this in the city because it's so hazardous around other people.

It's funny.

Ackle is a place for...

I think maybe because Ackle involves more of a stop and let's slow down our lives for a moment.

You know what I'm like in the city?

I'm just doing deals the whole time.

I understand.

Dodging bullets, stuff like that.

And I don't have time to rub stuff on the bonnet.

So I do that.

I have bought a new Hoover the night before, a cordless.

Oh, a Dyson.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, because he voted Brexit, you won't Dyson, I must admit.

But they're also 600 quid, those ones.

Whereas, yeah, they're really, really expensive.

And the man in the electrical shop had liked my comedy and he said, get this one.

It's down to 200 and it's better than

any of the others.

Now, the problem is it is a Samsung, which to me says mobile phone.

Uh-huh.

And then raises the potential of, could I just get an app for my phone that Hoovers then?

Yeah, or could you take calls with the Hoover?

So like Dom Jolly style.

Did you see this week?

Dom Jolly's giant phone was stolen.

So I think

by a giant on a moped.

He led to a history of the mobile phone exhibition in the Netherlands, and they contact him to say, someone broke in and stole your giant phone, Dom.

I mean, you can't go far with that, can you?

So all aspects of life and ACOL, nature is trying to reclaim the house, the car.

So today I painted woodworming stuff on key furniture.

We haven't taken our worming chocolate.

Yeah.

You reminded me.

Oh, God.

I hope it's not woodworm.

That would really...

weaponize those people who say that you're a wooden presenter, that you're a puppet.

Generic Man 3, yes.

Woodworm.

That's like a two-ronny's joke, which is broadcaster Max Rushton.

I wouldn't say he's wooden, but he had to be painted with woodworming.

David had to run seal my orifices.

It's a great shame.

We,

by we, I mean me.

Yeah.

I go for a cycle.

Have you had any breakfast or coffee?

What's going on?

Oh, yeah.

I like to detail this.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I forgot how this podcast works.

I made coffee and I brought down just eggs and what I call hot pockets, but they're actually pittas.

Eggs in pitta doesn't work for me.

And what I like to do is run it under the tap, the pitta, before you put it in the toaster because that causes the pita to open.

Oh, yeah, nice.

Yeah, okay.

That old trick.

And then who fit in?

Do you not like it?

It sort of turns it into a pasty of some kind.

I don't know.

I mean, eggs on toast, lovely, but eggs in

a pitter.

I'd like hummus and cheese in a pitter, please.

Or a kebab.

But anyway, we're different people.

It's absolutely fine.

I do that.

And then, yeah, I have a strange reminiscence then of five years ago, I was on the island with my mom and dad for six months for the pando because between them they had every known what we call underlying conditions at the time from being so incredibly old.

At five years on they're still flying and I did find myself going on my phone back to five years ago today.

What was I doing?

And it was beautiful weather at that time.

It's funny.

it's the problem of photography, I think, is you forget how you felt.

Because at the time, I was definitely worried about it being the end of the world and my career had stopped and all of that.

But it just looks so nice.

Oh, yeah.

When you look at the photos now.

Me and Jay were the only two people in London.

It was amazing.

Yeah.

There was no one there.

Were you podcasting throughout it, Max?

Were you doing the Guardian football?

Yeah, we were just going, let's just watch Mexico 86 and talk about it.

And people were receptive because no one had anything.

So actually, it was, you know, it was good.

I went to a pier where I once just burst into tears in the pandemic

that will be forever known as the Sad Pier.

It's actually beautiful and it's really nice now.

And I sat there for a little while.

And yeah, that was that was my cycle.

Right.

Came back then

and started packing up the car.

It's a four-hour drive then back to Dublin.

So we've had a nice morning there.

I leave the island.

Oh, I actually, excuse me, I went for lunch with my friend Sir Sha.

We went to the fancy cafe on Accle, the beehive.

She's vegan.

So I lent into that and got a superfood salad of some kind.

And was it slightly disappointing after Mouthful 3?

No, in fairness to it, it had six or seven different elements to it.

It had bits of broccoli, possibly bits of mango, stuff like that into it.

And, you know, me, as always, I have a little envelope of lardons on me at all times.

I sprinkle them across it.

That was good.

I then drove, yeah, pedal to the metal the full way across Ireland, coast to coast.

Are you self-conscious because the car's, you know, got its

bird shit circles on it?

people are pointing at it and just shaking their heads thumbs down yeah miming the helicopter's longer hair just and then two thumbs down

what do you listen to listen to some of our great rivals uh-huh see what they're up to there's a very funny irish podcast called young hot guys where three of my friends they don't talk about yesterday it's absolutely fine okay you can let them away with it i got on top of terrible news from around the world as well.

Is it still bad?

It's still bad.

All right, yeah.

And then I listened, I put on the classic radio as I came into Dublin

and listened to a back doctor being interviewed on a drivetime show who said the key to everything is never asleep on your front, always on your back, to the side a bit, but on the back primarily.

Is that bad news for you?

I tried it, but unfortunately, I wake up in the night face down.

Yeah.

Gasping for air.

I don't know what it is.

I don't know how not.

No, I wouldn't.

I mean, I've just don't think I've ever fallen asleep in my front.

Unless I was wasted.

I'm on the back.

I'm like a mummy.

I think that could cure a lot of my problems if I could just figure out how to do that.

Helencopter has booked us into a restaurant because I haven't seen her for six nights now.

So sorry, she hasn't booked us into a restaurant.

It's Wednesday night.

We'll march into our favorite Middle Eastern shakumaku restaurant.

I say, interesting, because you had Pitters for breakfast.

I would have said, well, wow, I'm just, I can't double Pitter in a day.

You know, Pitters would be off the table.

Well, the main thing I'm feeling is, and we're both feeling it, we want crunchy fresh vegetables because I've been touring and I've drunk too many pints over the last week.

I just want to get back, pour some taboule salad into me.

Okay.

And we get there, the restaurant is full, so we end up going to the pizza.

Even worse, the exact opposite of what we need.

We go to a very hipster-y pizza restaurant where listeners will be intrigued to know that we ordered two pizzas and a few sides.

Mine, casual blue cheese.

Remember where that's

casual blue leek and honey on a pizza seems boring actually seems good yeah really good is that a non-tomato based is a white is that a white pizza yeah i think it might have been a white pizza because the other one was in duja duja cheek fee stuff crust it was certainly meatier than the other one yeah it also had honey on it people are putting honey on everything these days mag start with honey what

you wait till you get back to europe you're not going to believe how hot honey is right now.

What are the sides?

What are the sides?

Like, I'd say back in the day, not so much now, but there's a dirty side for a pizza is coleslaw.

And, like, just having this kind of creamy, dipping your pizza into coal.

There's something nice about that when you're 25.

This place is very hot right now.

And we only get in because they don't allow reservation.

They keep some areas unreserved in it.

And we happen to just for famous Irish people for famous Irish people you Wogan

and Roy Keene the three of us yeah yeah

with Helen just under the table me passing slices to her we get of course three small aranchini bowls as our side yeah and a garlic uh

focaccia you don't eat that when you're having a pizza don't eat it no don't eat any of this to be honest but really a focaccia is not a a side it's like or having garlic bread as a side with pizza isn't it that's nothing wrong with cheese on toast it's like having a cheese toastie as a side with pizza look the whole aim of this had been not to have a big gluten fest yeah

now we've horsed in and do you have five pints as well do you have five pints delicious i had two pints of peironi

while I was downing this.

And then we're looking out the window directly across is Slattery's, one of the classic Dublin pubs in Rat Lions.

Got it.

So we've got to go in there for a pint then after.

Done.

We haven't seen each other for a week.

No, no, no.

Good for you.

So it's one of those pubs where it's set up with loads of nooks and snugs and sections.

Yeah, so if you get one, you're like, you get a nook.

You're like, we're in.

We're in a lovely bit.

There is

a traditional Irish group playing over there.

Of course they are.

The Sword Doctors.

Are they?

It's obviously a come along and play because the thing about the traditional irish music canon is if you just learn offloads of tunes you can sit in with anyone then yeah yeah and so there must be 20 people in this group and they are having the time of their lives but hilariously above them is a big screen with the final of the conference league on it so it looks like they're playing along with the action of a match that

maybe that also shows how little interest there is in the conference league that the trad group are more interesting than that.

Do they take requests?

Could they have done Dancing in the Moonlight if you'd wanted it?

I doubt it.

Although it's possible there is a very sad song about the famine, also called Dancing in the Moonlight.

So they might have been able to play that.

We have a classic pint against.

You just got it, unfortunately.

I know it's lame.

It's a lame thing about Ireland.

It's not lame at all.

I know, but the Queen comes to Ireland and has a pint put in front of her.

Barack Obama comes to Ireland, you know, have a pint.

Like, is there another country on earth that is synonymous with a single product?

You know, I'm not sure.

Where the product is almost the national symbol of the, like,

you're in Australia.

They love Tim Tam biscuits, but they don't, when Trump visits Australia, they won't force him to eat a Tim Tam on camera.

No, you're right.

But obviously, all the politicians want to be seen to be like, I could, you could have a beer with me.

You're like, God, that would be what a shit pint that would be.

But

being in a nook.

I mean, you would, though.

Someone said you can have a pint of Guinness in a nook with Donald Trump.

You'd have to take it, wouldn't you, for the anecdote?

Yeah, maybe.

I just don't know what.

Just how would you start that chat?

How are things?

How are things?

What'd you do yesterday, Donald?

But it is funny that it's pint,

something about a beer as well.

As in, if you went to England, you wouldn't have a blue wicked with macaron.

Oh, no, but they would quite often end up in like a classic English pub and have a pint of bitter.

Yes.

With a with a handle.

Sure.

You know, a handle of bitter to prove that David Cameron's one of us.

Exactly.

But you would never have a Jaeger bomb.

You know, it's funny how

alcohol in a pint implies a sort of wise, relaxed chat.

The last Jaeger bomb I had was handed to me by Joe Hart.

The former England goalkeepers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can we just inquire just very briefly?

It didn't happen yesterday.

It was, I mean, probably 10 years ago.

And they're not for me.

We cycle home.

Helencopter's bike is making a clunk that I identify as the chain guard.

So at the lights, I bend over.

You make it sound like a person.

you make it sound like a person no wonder it's a harder cycle when the chain guard is just there

it's not a person max it's a piece of metal and so i'm able to bend that back we get back it's great to be back at the house i just dropped off the car earlier i see that in the six days i've gone what we call the farm which is the basil and mint we are growing has doubled in capacity oh marvelous.

Yeah.

We brush our teeth and...

Do you brush them together?

We do brush them together.

But Helen Copper's got the linekere-esque electro-toothbrush that's sending her information the whole time, whereas I am just regular old acoustic, just hammering away.

Just playing more than words with yours.

The last time I went to the dentist, she said, you're forgetting to do a bit.

Oh, what just happened?

One side left top, which did make sense.

Because

you've got to go inside and you've got to put an effort to get there.

I do that.

I get into bed.

She laughs at my crotchless undies.

And I vow that I will be replacing them soon.

If you'd been in the sexy undies, she wouldn't have laughed.

But the balls out undies are, you know, they're less of an aphrodisiac.

Because it's not Wang Out.

It's just the balls.

Yeah,

the worst bit of all.

I think mine are good, but even still, they look like, you know, those fish that live two miles down underwater.

I would look at them and you could tell, you'd be like, I think they've been lowered into a hot bath one too many times.

We do a crosswords.

It's funny, isn't it, that we don't really know each other and yet we really know everything about each other.

We do a crossword.

We're undone by not knowing what the dangly thing at the back of the throat is called.

It is a five-letter word.

What the bit that I think is the tonsils.

Yeah, it's not the tonsils.

The actual dangler itself.

Ah, have I got any letters?

L is the second last letter.

I think that's all we had.

Is that all you had?

I mean, it was the last one.

So we end up getting, we got a U as well as the first letter.

Uh-huh.

You don't know it, Max.

I don't know it.

Which is mad.

You see it all the time.

Yeah.

Ah, yeah.

Yeah, that guy.

Yeah.

That guy, yeah.

Yeah.

It's essentially

when you're making your cat sounds.

Yeah.

It's the ovula.

Okay.

Yeah.

I mean, I didn't know it and I still don't know it.

So it's not like a, oh yeah.

It's like, okay.

Yeah, wild.

Then we do, we ace connections and we go to sleep.

That's what I did yesterday.

Hey, good day.

It's a good day.

Yeah.

Sorry, I also did a tiny bit of work.

I'm in the midst of a period of work at the moment where I did a festival in Belfast at the weekend.

I'm at the Kilkenny Comedy Festival for the next three or four nights, traveling around Ireland, trying out these new jokes.

So I did a little bit of jokey work work as well and tried to think about jokes on the drive back.

But yeah, all in all, not a bad day.

I have tomorrow I'm meeting the comedian David O'Dotti in a gallery where I'm going to give him some notes on his show that he sent me.

I've got a few pointers.

I'm really intrigued as to what way you think I should take this show.

Make it as funny as possible.

That's my main, that's the main thrust.

It's like whenever you hear race radio in Formula One, you always imagine they should just be saying, go faster.

You can just go a little bit faster.

Lewis, Jensen.

Lewis.

Put your foot down.

For fuck's sake.

You're in 15th, Damon.

Put your foot down.

Overtake those other ones.

Kimmy Reichenen, I've had an idea.

rubens rubens

oh well that was fun i enjoyed that david thanks if you want to get in touch with us we do really value your feedback pretty essential for the first half of the mayhems you may have spotted and here's how you do it

To get in touch with the show, you can email us at what did you do yesterday pod at gmail.com.

Follow us on Instagram at yesterday pod.

And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.

And if you didn't, please don't.

So, yeah, get in touch on any subject.

And actually, a few more emails that aren't just about farting and shitting.

Yeah, yeah, I think it'd be good for bats.

But you know.

I didn't talk about it at all, you'll notice during my yesterday.

I talked about the crotchless undies, but that's different.

Good to branch out.

I mean, what I did leave out was while we were cycling back, I did a fart that was so long, you do think, is it propelling me somewhat?

But I did not go into that, so it's fine.

On we go.

All right, see you again soon.

We go again.

In it for life, in it for life.

Everything is showbiz.

Hello, Max Rushton here.

You might remember me from Series 9, Episode 2 of Parenting Hell.

I'm here to tell you about Dog by the Bakery Door, the debut children's book by author Jamie Bruce.

Dog by the Bakery Door is a charming story of the magical things a little boy sees on a normal trip to get a coffee with his mum.

Perfect for newborns, three-year-olds, six-year-olds, all children.

Just Google Dog by the Bakery Door.

Here's a review from my three-year-old son.

Dog by the Bakery Door.

I have this book.

Full disclosure: the author might be his mother and my wife, but even more reason to buy it.

She is to live with us and a baby 24-7, has sacrificed her career for mine while also being an amazing mum to two boys.

Thank you, goodbye.