S2 EP22: Cariad Lloyd

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Podcasts, there are millions of them.

Some might say too many.

I have one already.

I don't have any, because there are enough.

Politics, business, sport, you name it, there's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.

But nobody is covering the most important topic of all.

Why is that?

Are they scared?

Too afraid of being censored by the man?

Possibly, but not us.

We're here to ask the only question that matters.

We'll try and say it at the same time, Max.

What did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday?

What did you do yesterday?

That's it.

All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.

Day before yesterday, Max?

Nope.

The greatest and most interesting day of your life.

Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it.

I'm Max Rushton, and I'm David O'Doherty.

Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

Hello, everybody.

Welcome to today's episode of What Did You Do Yesterday.

I'm Max Rushton.

David O'Doherty is there.

Hello and welcome to what did you do yesterday with me David O'Doherty I've never got to say the first bit in this oh would you like to do at the start of the episode I welcome the guest normally it's someone that you've known for 50 years and I've never met so like you if you wanted to I'm not precious about these things I once heard I won't name who it is, but Evander Holyfield was a guest on a TV program.

The boxer.

There are two presenters, the boxer, and one presenter, it was just like one of the hosts who'd bring them on.

And it wasn't him.

It was his co-presenter, just had the line and script.

And he had a massive Barney board account saying, I have to bring on Ivana.

I have to be the person to go, ladies and gentlemen, welcome Ivana Holyvin.

What difference does it make?

It makes no difference to anybody.

Someone's going to bring him on and then he's going to be sat there.

Does it matter?

I don't care.

So if you would like to, next episode, because Carrie Adelaide is our guest today, and I do begin with just for the tape.

We have just done it.

I do say welcome to what did you do yesterday.

So if you'd like to, I don't mind.

I'm not precious.

I mean, there is the thorny issue then of is this what did you do yesterday with Max Rushton and David Odaherty?

And on what basis is it that?

Or is it with David Odaherty and Max Rushton?

I don't mind.

Alphabetically, it'd be me.

In every way.

There's no way alphabetically I can take it.

I can't take it alphabetically.

There's nothing I can do.

What's your middle name, David?

Nicholas.

No, Paul.

So yeah, you alphabetically trumped me three three times.

But I do feel you're, you come first.

What do you call the people who present the stupid show where you go to the Australian Outback?

Anton Deck.

Yes, Anton Deck.

That is the longest anyone has taken to remember who Anton Deck are.

But we will get them both on the podcast because...

When I had my chest waxed once in my life when I did the six-pack challenge, and it was filmed by Declan Donnelly, then he emailed me all the files of my chest being waxed at a charity golf do.

Yet another gem.

My point is, I think Ant and Deck always have to stand with one of them on the left-hand side, one on the right.

Because if they swap over, people are just like, what the hell is this?

They're like, who are these people?

They just don't know who they are.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's the same with us.

You always have to be on my right.

I start the podcast.

Okay, well, I'll start this episode because we know I started it.

So I'll start this one and then, but I I don't mind if you dive in.

Next guest, it's fine.

Anyway, look, tell all the listeners about Carrie Add Lloyd.

She's lovely and it's a really fun episode.

Carriead is a friend of mine for a long time.

People may know her from Griefcast or Weirdos Book Club, two great podcasts.

She's written a bunch of children's books now.

I mean, I would know her best from Ostentatious, which is what comes up in the podcast, which is an improvised Jane Austen Regency-type period

show where they dress in splendiferous costumes and make up a new Jane Austen book every night.

It's doing Monday nights in the West End at the moment and it tours around the whole time.

I cannot recommend it highly enough, Max.

And it is worth saying that it will become abundantly clear there is nothing I don't know about the world of

improv.

Oh my god.

Anyway, here's what Carrie Add Lloyd did yesterday.

Carrie Add Lloyd, welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

Thank you for having me.

Hello, how are you?

I'm excellent.

I can't speak for David, but I'm very well.

To the listeners, the reason Carrie Add sounded shocked there is because obviously we were just having a boring chat about technically technically making sure everything is ship shape.

Then presenter Max just becomes this

super like the difference between Bruce, whatever his name is, and Batman.

They're the two differences between the on-air light.

Carried, did you find it a bit too much?

Should I have

it been a slightly different?

So I was just still trying to shut all my things down on my computer so that it worked better.

So I was a bit like when the teacher's like, okay, you're like, oh, I was still, I haven't got my pens up.

Well, if you could focus now, Carrie Ed, if you could.

Don't, That makes me feel like I'm back at school.

Oh, I am listening.

I am.

I just, Susanna was asking me something.

So I was telling her, sir, please, it's not my fault.

Do you know, the good thing about this is one of the only podcasts where at no point will we start talking about, you know, if your school days were terrible.

Unless, of course, you are so remedial that you've been held back so many years that you are still in school yesterday.

Otherwise, I think you're so...

One of the few podcasts that does not want to divulge into your history.

One of the few these days.

Tell me, how was that for you?

How was that?

I feel bad because I started that, you know, when I used to do the griefcast.

Yeah, it's your fault.

I was all about people being sad, but now everyone's being sad on the podcast.

This is nice.

You need a break from it, guys.

They're either being sad or you're being very high performance and telling people

how they can achieve anything by just a really hot ginger root at 4 a.m.

shoved into an office.

But also they do this thing where they go, like, I'm going to tell you three ways that you can change your life, but they don't tell you for like 10 minutes.

So you're like, like, When are you gonna say

when you're gonna say the bit where just tell me this will change your life?

Okay,

when I was first married, no, no, just what is it?

Tell me what it is.

Tell me what it is.

Anyway, I wasn't at school yesterday, so don't worry.

Okay, well, what time did you wake up, please, Carrie?

Yesterday, okay.

It was bad yesterday.

Now, Max, I know you have small children, so I do appreciate this.

I woke up at five and it was not by a child.

Oh, wow, it was me.

I woke myself up.

That's That's not good, is it?

Intentionally, no, like I just had an anxiety dream.

I thought you'd appreciate this because I was having some dream about trying to get the kids to school and I was in the wrong place, you know, like this.

Somebody went in the dream, Carriead Lloyd.

And I went to sleep

and I woke up.

So I woke myself up with someone calling my name.

And I was like, oh, God, what?

Like, it felt like ask not for whom the bell tolls.

It tolls for the Carriead Lloyd.

It felt very grand.

And I woke up and thought, fucking that, it's five in the morning.

There's no reason to be awake.

My five-year-old is not down.

I could have got, he normally comes down half past six.

Do you got an extra half an hour?

And I didn't.

So I was really annoyed.

Is this carried because you weren't happy at school?

Because it was hard, you know, my parents.

I'm sorry, my parents.

That's the bit where you see the podcast host be like, yes, they're going to cry.

They're going to cry.

So you wake up and with no chance of going back to sleep you you just sort of know that in your bones the second you wake up yeah because my so my son still gets up about like half past six so any time from five my body will think well it's wake-up time and so i would normally try and give myself as long as possible before he gets in the bed and starts demanding breakfast so to wake up half an hour before that was about to happen was a bitter pill it was bitter because it was just me yeah that was rough but i didn't get up straight away I did a bit of like lying there thinking, which doesn't normally happen because normally he's in the bed just chatting shit to me.

So I actually thought, oh, well, I've got half an hour to have a think.

So that's probably good, isn't it?

I love the idea of your son just chatting shit, but actually like having a go at you, you know, first thing in the morning.

A lot of your clothes, they're fine, but we've just seen a lot of those outfits before.

But you're not far off.

He'll come down and he'll be like, I want breakfast.

Mum, do you think planes, do you think planes like flying?

Well, and I was also thinking, what?

I saw a worm.

Do you remember, Mummy?

You don't remember?

I told you about the worm.

Like, it's so

doesn't stay on any topic, very demanding.

And then, just when you're in the middle of a sort of quite nice chat about planes and how planes work, and you think, oh, this is quite nice, and you explain, so let me tell you, I want breakfast.

And you're like, oh,

sorry, I thought we were having a.

One of my most toxic traits is that

talking about planes.

He's a massive massive philanderer and he really keeps it on the down low.

And so we mustn't talk about it.

So when the Helen Copter wakes me up, she is one of these people with a job, Karyad.

Yeah, normal job, yeah.

So I'm in some deep sleep cycle.

I have no idea who I am, what my name is, what is this planet.

But spontaneously, I start singing songs about how great I am.

Wow.

Like she's pointed this out as in, like, David, you are so cool.

That's a lot.

You're a really good guy, and everyone appreciates you.

I'd be struggling with that in the morning.

While we wait for the various aspects to load.

But why aren't you singing songs about how great she is?

I know.

Like, that's what you should be.

That would be charming.

Because I'm furious at her for having woke up.

Okay.

But she has a normal job, which means she can provide like for her half of the household, right?

Can I just check?

Because I'm maybe, I've had quite a long day.

That's not real, David.

Just mind to check.

Yeah, it is.

It is.

I felt real.

Yeah.

Yeah, a lot of it will be me.

So I'll be like, 18 bikes is a good number of bikes to have a very normal thing to have them all in the house.

You know, that's it.

Oh, no.

I'm stressed already.

I can see one behind you.

There's not 18 in the house, is there?

There's 18.

Jesus, like my five-year-old.

It's like, oh, what is happening?

What?

In the minute you're going to ask me to make you breakfast.

His son, it was revealed recently, Max's son, brackets three years old, has three bikes.

So yeah, but that's common with kids because they grow out them so quickly or you get a secondhand one that's like a not good one that's for the park and then a better one that's for learning.

But how old are you, David?

I'm 18.

I'm 18 years old and I have 18 bikes.

One for every year.

Do you get one for each birthday?

And just kept going.

Everyone was like, he likes bikes.

Let's buy him another bike for his birthday.

Don't know what to get.

Yeah, now he can go on, you bet, and you know, cycle each one of them and they get progressively bigger until he's on one that he actually fits.

Anyway, Karen, we're digressing.

It happens occasionally on this.

That's fine.

What are you thinking about?

You've got half an hour.

Where do your thoughts go?

Is it life admin or is it something deeper?

You don't really want to go in my head.

It's not a good place to go.

And it's like, this is a light podcast.

It's a lot of like, what have I got to do?

What's happening?

What did I forget?

I need to email that person.

Oh, I said I'd do that.

And trying to think the best way to use my day.

Because I had a gig.

I had ostentatious, the improv show I do in the evening, which is an improvised Jane Austen show at the vaudeville theatre.

So I was trying to think, well, that's, you know what I mean?

That's evening.

So can I do that?

What do I need to do?

And also trying to, because I have two kids, an eight-year-old and a five-year-old.

So there is a lot.

Okay, they've got that today.

They need to remember to bring that.

I need to tell them that.

I haven't done that.

I forgot to.

So, yeah, it's just the mental loads.

It's an exhausting half hour.

Yeah.

Oh, I know.

The mental loads.

Well, I look, you know, write a list of things to do.

Okay, Google Doc.

I write things to do.

And it's got so many things to do.

The jabs for the newborn, you know, trying to get on a waiting list on some app that doesn't work.

And I get paralyzed by indecision.

So I just do none of the things.

Yeah, it's hard.

I'm the same.

My lists are like alphabetize my hats,

maneuver out the car.

A lot of really just each bike spoke.

Yeah.

Organize the bikes into favorite order, color order, height order, day of the week, preference order.

You know what it's like.

Yeah, it's just mostly, you know, normal.

And I don't have my phone in the room.

I'm like, absolutely.

That got banned years ago.

So I, um,

yeah, I'm just going through.

And then actually, my husband woke up as well because we were both

fucking stressed all the time.

We were like, yeah, I was just thinking, yeah, I need to do that.

Yeah, I need to do that.

Okay, let's just get out of bed.

Did you ban the phone or did it get banned?

It sounds like the police did it.

Like a quick.

I stopped putting my phone in my bedroom 10 years ago because I knew.

Yeah, well, I just knew it was a, I could see it was bad.

I was like, I'm looking at it as soon as I wake up.

I'm not going to sleep.

Playing snake the whole time, just sending templates, text messages to people.

MSM messaging people.

Yeah, no, I'm a real.

I was like, you're going to make me do a proper podcast here.

Like, so I have ADHD and I really need to not just to monitor myself.

So

my phone, 10 years ago, I was like, this is a problem.

I plug it in somewhere in a different room and I also plug it in a plug where I have to stand.

So, like, there's no seat near where it's charging.

So, you stand there when you, you know, when you're like on the scroll before bed, you're like, oh, I'm so tired, my feet hurt.

You're like, go to bed.

You hang it from the ceiling and it's so high you have to be on tiptoes.

Well, look, I'm a very short woman, so it wouldn't be hard to do that.

And my husband's really tall, so I could just get him to place it somewhere high.

And I couldn't get it.

But yeah, I think that's better.

Then you wake up and you're you can do the mental download, can't you?

Of like rather than instantly looking at the world that's on it is constantly on fire yeah so

i do a little like okay what are the fires that i can deal with in my life until i get to the point where like this is overwhelming go and have a shower so it's funny because it's such an obvious problem with an obvious solution yet

me mine's under my pillow exactly everyone else yeah

you know it's so bad for you yeah but i'm actually quite good at not looking at it because i'm up all night My wife is looking at it all the time.

Jamie, listen to this.

You have a problem.

Great way to intervene.

Great way.

Just on live via other people.

This is how they communicate.

It's the only way they communicate.

Fair.

I know what that's like to be a podcast host.

You can only reach out to the audience.

Yeah, she did actually.

We have a very small audience, just Jamie.

And she had to stop the Matthew Crosby episode for a bit because his parents and his partner's parents both look after the kids.

And we, you know, my grandparents are way away and we don't have any grandparents to just

do

a day's work.

So she was furious with him.

It's not really his fault.

So I'll let you know if she's furious with you.

Anyway, so we're waiting for 5.30.

We're waiting for the five.

Are you waiting for the pitter-patter of little feet?

He normally comes downstairs.

And then I thought,

because my life is, the mornings are like, I can't tell.

It's insane.

Such bad chaos in our house.

And I had this moment.

I thought, my God, you could get up and you could do stuff before, before he gets to you and you have to deal with him.

So actually, I didn't wait.

I leapt out of bed and tried to get stuff done.

And then that meant when he came down and began his mom, have you, what is fire made of?

I was like,

I was ready.

Like I'd had a shower and I was dressed and I was like, boom, let's Google it.

Here's some cereal.

Like, so that was an unusual.

Normally, I'm just like, yeah, that's all happening at the same time.

But for once, we've got ahead of the game.

Oh, great.

Yeah.

Yes, that was quite handy.

I mean, I'm i'm not trying to clickbait the rest of the day but you have a gig in 15 to 16 hours yeah exactly yeah which is quite a long way in the future yeah or to use up all your beans at this time no but when you have kids you get beans at different times like your rhythms are much longer so like you have to have beans in the morning because that's when they need them and i i crash one to two i'm not here but then come six to seven i'm back up again because that's normally bedtime so you actually get, I would say you get, you get more beans than you think once you've had kids.

That's interesting.

I feel like I never had any beans before I had kids.

And now I have fewer beans.

Just totally beanless.

Yeah, I can see that.

I had too many beans.

Like I was a full-on energy person

and I'm now depleted.

But yeah, I guess I started with 200 and now I'm at 100.

So let that be a lesson, guys.

Think about your beans.

Okay, so you've had a nice, you've had a nice shower.

You're ready.

and then is it how do you make fire what it was it yesterday oh god it was an in-depth

i'm sorry it happened so much that i tune out a lot of what's happening

yeah he did the other day he was like what is fire made of and i was like well it's fire and he was like no what is it what is it made of and me and my husband were like shit what is fire made of it's like being on the weakest link yeah as you wake up isn't it yeah and we googled it and it's mostly water vapor

interesting Yeah.

And like, I guess it's a chemical reaction dub, but that's what he wanted to know.

He's very like, how do things work?

So he was like, he's like, I know it's hot, but what's it made of?

Anyway,

we didn't have that yesterday.

He's very into like how planes work and hovercrafts at the moment.

I don't think I had to do any googling.

My dad is a piano player.

And when I was little, he would play the wheels on the bus or whatever I wanted to hear.

But he's a jazz pianist.

And I once, in a really considered way,

said to him, Why do you

ruin all the songs?

That is such a child thing to say.

Yeah, it's fair enough.

Oh my god, that is so funny.

My son won't let us sing.

So if you do anything, he goes, No, just me.

Yeah, I have wheels on a bus.

And you're like, Can I?

And he's also really into music.

So like he likes, he's really into the Beatles and Elton John at the moment.

And he'll just sing, Ba-ba-ba-beni and a jet, and you're not allowed to join in, which is hard when someone's like, Benny!

Benny!

And you think, come on, let me just say the Benny bit.

He's like, don't go breaking my heart.

No, not you.

You try and sing the other end.

When he gets to 500 miles.

I guess I can't do it.

He wants you to listen to him.

So he'll just carry on singing really sincerely at you as if you were one, you know, it's an Edinburgh show of one audience and you're just having to sit there.

And he's got no shame about it.

No kind of like, this is embarrassing that I'm making you do this.

He's really at peace with it.

He's like, this is nice.

That's great.

That's great.

Carrie out, no judgment.

What do you make for breakfast?

For him or for me?

Just generally, what are the.

We need all the information.

Both of them have an individual mix of cereals, which is like a fucking debate about who's got more of the sweet stuff that we like put more, less sweet stuff.

I, this is quite bad.

So I'm always on at them about the sugary cereal, but I have fruit and fiber, but then I mix it with crunchy nut cornflakes.

Like I sneak in.

you're feeling healthy but occasionally you get a little crunchy nut but you can't do 50 50.

Do the kids feed a crunchy nut they didn't know what it was for ages they thought it was just different cornflakes and then he tried one he was like mum that orange one is really nice

they are amazing aren't they for grown-ups oh really he's already got like this rice kiss crispy shapes thing so and i'm honestly i would describe it as like my mix is 80 20 so it's like you just get a slider little bit of a hint of the crunchy knot.

You can't be mixing 50-50.

Basically, I'll have to feed him some of my cereal.

They call it like the tax.

I have to give him some, so he'll leave me alone.

Yeah.

On this very podcast carried out recently, Max informed us that he had woken at 4.30 a.m.

and done a massive dump.

But a kind listener, Max has been really going for the chia seeds recently.

Oh, yeah, that was.

It is wheatabix slash wheatbix.

Max, I've got, I think, six pieces of correspondence that's like, tell Max, it's because

it's my hemp and my flax.

Yeah, my cheese.

Yeah, you've got to be careful with the seeds.

You can over, you've got it.

It's all about moderation.

I understand.

I always think if I can at least do a healthy breakfast, by the end of the day, when I'm totally broken and I'm just shoveling, you know, dairy

lilt into my eyelids, then I...

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So Carrie out,

has your partner caught up yet?

Yeah, yeah, he's up.

He's normally up before me, actually.

He gets up and works, which I just can't do.

He'll just get up and do extra work.

But my brain is like, not, yeah, he'll get up and write.

You're like, well, I woke up at five, so I went and did some writing.

I'm like, fuck God.

My God, my writing would be of such a low quality.

It would be like the man and the van got a tan.

That's pretty good.

Hey, you knock it, but that's an Edinburgh show title there.

People would like to see it.

D-O-Doo does the rhyming.

No, I'm not doing any work at that point, but yes, my husband is definitely up.

And then I have to go and wake my daughter up at at 7.30.

So we have a long time where we're just wrangling him.

And then I have to go and deal with the opposite, which is someone who doesn't want to get out of bed, like a proper like teenager, even though she's eight, being like, please, please get out of bed.

Do you ever go, do you want to watch Blippy for like an hour and a half?

No, because we just,

it's not the situation where if you put the telly on, it gets better.

Right.

If you give him too much telly, you're just doubling what you've already got.

It's like adding, you know, like the Mentos science experiment.

You're just like, you add, it's going to explode.

You're just delaying the explosion.

So unfortunately, yeah, even a bit of tele in the morning, because then the row will be about turning it off.

And that's worse.

So I'd rather he follow me around the house telling me, you know,

what he recently learned about planes or cars or trains or the underground system than deal with an argument about the telly going off.

But don't be thinking they don't watch telly.

They watch it all afternoon.

But I'm saving myself for that.

No, no, no, no, that's fair.

And also, there's a danger in there if he watches something on TV, it might bring some questions.

And you don't want him to have any more questions.

I can't.

He's too inquisitive as it is.

A woman knocked on the door to, like,

when it must have been, you know, local actions, she was like, hello.

And he opened the door and he said, oh, hi, what'd you have for breakfast?

And she was like,

she said, cereal.

And he went, yeah.

And do you have a telly?

Straight with a bat.

Straight with a bat.

And she was like, it was so funny watching her go, yeah, you like it?

It's big telly.

What do you think?

Do you like your telly?

It's a big telly.

Sounds like the questions we ask them.

Yeah,

Tell him to stay the heck away from this podcast.

He'd be a great podcaster.

Honestly, it's like a five-year-old podcaster.

I mean, this is directed at the listeners and not either of you.

There's a real contrast here in parenting because so often, you know, Max's parenting is just wakes him up, puts him in front of a big screen with like six McDonald's bags full of

chicken dippers, whereas Carrie's like, continue with your mosaic.

I wish.

But the thing is, it's just different families, different kids.

Like, if McDonald's and Telly worked, we would probably be doing it.

But it doesn't work.

Let me just be clear that I do not.

Max, it's okay.

No judgment.

No judgment.

When he wasn't sleeping, I once took him to the McDonald's cafe.

See, if I did that once, I would never hear the end of it.

No, but I bought him like the plastic, the apple, sliced apple in plastic.

It's all he wanted.

But he was just so excited that there were construction workers there.

And he was calling it the construction cafe.

And it blew his mind.

And I haven't taken him back since it was five o'clock in the morning it was like my wife was just like just can you just take him out of here just go just leave yeah just go question carrier do you get solace in the fact that in three years if the boy follows the same route as the girl

he too will then be like oh someone's got to wake him up at half seven as opposed to

yeah but what's what i know will happen i fucking know is he will go the other way and it'll be like half an hour of like dragging him out of that bed.

So I have some solace, but I also know it's just going to flip.

No, it's not going to get easier.

It's just going to be a different set of problems.

But hey, you know what?

That is parenting.

It's just a different set of problems.

So I, yeah, I know I'll get my mornings back one day.

And actually,

I didn't know I'm so used to it.

I'm a real night owl as well.

So it's had to be a complete change in my life because I used to like stay up to one or two.

But I also know when I've gone away, I can get back there like that.

It's coming back.

Right.

Yeah.

It doesn't bother me.

I can go back back to one and two and it will be my life again.

Just got to stop being happy for like, I don't know, 18 years.

Yeah, something like that.

Just for the record, I am neither a night owl or a morning lark.

Afternoon Sego?

What is this?

Yes, just

an afternoon.

I attack some bins at about 4 p.m.

I'm like, that's me.

Don't

worry.

Okay, so 7.30 is when you have to go in.

I have to get her up at 7.30.

Big drag, that takes forever.

Keep going back in the room.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

It's a lot of, like, it's just hustle, hustle, hustle.

You're just constantly, have you eaten your break?

Okay, you haven't right now.

Eat the toast.

Okay, now I need to go to loop.

By Chadique, put your clothes.

Why is your socks?

But you said you're going to.

And it's just that until like 10 to 9.

I just follow people around the flat, stopping them from, they get back into bed, they hide, they put things against their door so I can't get in.

Yeah, like anything.

They will start a jigsaw puzzle.

They will decide they need to do their colouring right there, right now.

They'll be like, I need to build a train set right now.

And if you don't do that, we're going to, I'm going to lose my shit.

So, you're just trying to like stop fun things happening, get the basics done, and then get out the door.

And then, hopefully, by the time you're at the door, you're like, Am I dressed?

But I don't remember that bit happening,

I don't remember.

Like, I'm just like, Okay, and then me and what will happen is that we both follow one of them around because they will not do what they're supposed to do, it's so stressful.

And then we get to the door, one of us were taken to school, the other one will, you know, sort their life out.

And we look at each other at the front door, and we're like,

Hi,

okay, bye.

And that's the only interaction we'll have.

I had the other day, I think it was yesterday, Ian, young Ian, was going to Kinder and Jamie had taken Willie Rushton on a nap walk.

And so I was left with Ian and he wasn't dressed.

And then

he was a bit fragile and he had a bogey.

And I went to clear up and he leant forward and it was like he headbutted my fist and punched him in the face.

He was desolate.

And then it was just like everything.

Then I wiped his nose with the wrong blanket.

It was like everything.

He was just like like grieving about all this.

And then like sort of manna from heaven, the trash truck.

We heard it.

And he was like, trash truck.

So I literally, I shoved any clothes that I could.

I threw him onto the bike.

And I literally just like ran out of the house.

I left the house probably on fire.

And I said, we can chase the trash truck.

And then we just accidentally ended up at Kinder.

And he was totally fine.

It was literally just like, oh, it was like, I need the bin lorry.

every morning and then it's fine.

Just stuff like that.

We had a, they were building something outside our block of flats for ages and it would be like, should we go and see what they're doing?

And literally all the construction guys were like, oh,

and once the bin lorry was there and they let him press the button.

Oh my gosh.

They said, does you want to press it?

He was like,

and that kept us going for just months.

So good.

Deb takes the bins and moves them into position for the guys driving it.

And Ian has a sort of toy trash truck and he's like proudly showing it to Deb.

And I was thinking, is this what Deb wants to see at like like 6 45 a.m.

It's like someone's so excited about a rubbish I don't know

I think that's nice that's nice they want to spend their lives people being like they're noisy or this it's like it's nice to celebrate the jobs that people don't celebrate enough yeah it's beautiful it's like the way uh grown-ups go to football matches dressed as their favorite players you know what i mean in the full kit he's the same but just holding the truck up to the men from the council yeah it's nice right so it's 10 to 9 are you taking the kids to school or have you won the lottery and you are at home to join your school?

No, I took them.

I took them because we have a deal.

So I knew I wasn't going to pick them up because I had my gig.

So I took them and that was very easy.

That was fine.

Okay, drop-up is fine.

That's good.

Yeah, they've actually, that for us, it's like it's so difficult getting to the front door.

Then after that, they're like, yeah, great, we're going to school.

And then just breezy and the sun was shining.

And we saw lots of dogs.

They were very happy about that.

Everyone went in fine.

You count your blessings.

They go in happy.

So, you carry out a not a source of embarrassment to them.

That's good.

Oh, I am.

To my daughter, yeah, definitely 100%.

She told me when she was about six: Can you, when I'm talking to those older girls, can you just not stand near me?

Because it's

she was six.

Can you not stand near me?

Six.

Six.

So, wow, that's when you've lost them.

Yeah, girls in the year, like two years above.

They were like, Hi, hi.

And I was sort of standing there, like, oh, well, you're six, so I'm not going to leave you.

And then we walked home.

I said, You're right.

She said, Yeah, just when we were talking to those girls from like your four, can next time that happens, can you just not be there?

So it was a little bit embarrassing.

Also, the fact that you kept using Gen Z lingo.

You kept saying goated

and no cap.

And riz and lit, guys.

Yeah.

What's funny about primary school is they

don't use cool lingo.

They have their, it's lingo for the primary school that's cool.

So they would just come up with their own stuff.

Do you know what I mean?

And so it's not like, I find it really sweet.

Skills is back in in their primary school.

Skills.

Oh, yeah.

Good to hear.

Skills.

With a Z.

Yeah, with the Zed.

But I don't think like any, you know, whatever they are, Gen Zs, are using that.

It's just like, that's their cultural community.

So they breed their own stuff that they think, because the year sixes are using it.

That's cool.

My brother's lot, they said gear

was good.

Gear.

So I was like, what does gear mean?

And he was like, it's a combination of great and rare.

And like, wow, you can just smash these cool words together

to make even cooler words.

So yeah.

He meant drugs when I was a teenager.

You've got any kids.

Oh, maybe that's what he meant.

I was like, are you sure they're not dealing?

He was also six, but he was absolutely pilled out of his mind.

And he had a limo.

Yeah.

A cane and a fur coat.

Okay, so it's nine o'clock.

You drop them off.

Yeah.

You're free, free day, Karyad.

What's happening?

So I came back home and then it's always like you're like shell-shocked.

Both of us are shell-shocked because it's like, what just happened?

And it means all of those thoughts you had at five, you haven't been allowed to think a single thing for a long time so then it takes a while to like decompress and be like okay what the fuck just happened and then i decided which i thought i don't normally do it makes me sound like a lady of leisure i decided to make a crumble

oh that is delightful i was like i'm gonna make a crumble because we had a load of lots of rhubarb in the fridge and apples and i thought and my kids love crumble and i thought because i've got a gig normally i don't want people to think that i'm a work shy writer performer i would normally get onto the computer, but I thought I've got a gig.

I don't want to be just stuck at the computer for ages.

So I decided to make an apple and rhubarb crumble and listen to a podcast.

Oh my goodness.

So many things we have to go on to hero.

But does the ADHD brain is useful to write down a list and work your way through it?

Do you know what I mean?

To try and get some of that, those gears, stop moving.

I keep saying gears now.

Yeah, I do.

And I have a list on my desk of like everything super urgent, but I'm in that weird bit where I'm waiting for notes on things.

So that means I'm sort of like paralyzed.

I can't quite do anything because I'm waiting to be told about the thing.

So that's what I thought at five o'clock.

I was like, oh, you should make sure you do this, this, and this today.

And I thought, Carried, don't just sit at that computer pretending to work and not doing anything.

Why don't you let's do things?

So if I was like, yeah, I'm going to make a crumble because that's.

That's a thing that I can look at and go, I did that.

Tangible, yes.

It's tangible.

Otherwise, sometimes if I'm

super distracted, I sit at the laptop, like honestly, like looking like you think, wow, that person's getting so much done.

And I'm not.

I'm rearranging my email folders.

I mean, literally, though, if you were to think of a word which represents impermanence, if that's a word, crumble would be.

And if I was thinking how to procrastinate from doing things I really needed to do, making an apple and rhubarb crumble

quite near the top of the list.

So this is the ADHD brain for me.

And obviously, everyone's completely different.

I have learned what I used to do is sit at the computer and have a go at myself for like six hours.

You're not doing anything.

Why are you not doing this?

You're just fucking lazy.

And that was so annoying.

And now

I know what the problem is.

I schedule in the procrastination.

So I'm like, okay, we're not in the worky mood.

We're waiting for this email about notes.

So what can we do?

So it's like, I do the procrastination consciously.

And then if you don't have a go at yourself, you're like, okay, instead of just pretending to do something, I'm actually going to do something.

No, it's not what I should be doing, but it will end up with a crumble, which everyone's happy about.

I was like, I can do something later.

But yesterday was not.

I knew it wasn't going to be a good work day.

I've woken up at five, I was knackered, so I was like, I'm just going to write it off.

Tell us how, take, tell us your crumble.

Make the crumble.

Tell us your crumble.

I mean, that's your next podcast, right?

Tell us your crumble.

Yeah, it is.

It is.

It's niche, but I'm into it.

I feel like David already has that song in his repertoire.

Tell us your crumble.

I'm only going to talk to incredibly famous hip-hop stars about crumbles they've made.

So, like, I've keep trying to book Drake.

My tummy rumbles every time she makes a crumble.

That's how it works, Dude.

I've done it for you.

No, it should be about David.

You make the best crumble.

You're astonishing at desserts of every kind.

Look, I'm not awake.

It's like when you're improvising with ostentation on the best possible day.

You don't know where it's coming from.

You just don't stop the thoughts.

However, they are all about how great I am.

You're Subconscious narcissist.

I absolutely love it.

Subconscious narcissist.

Subconscious narcissist is a great name for the memoir.

That's great.

So I love crumble hard.

And I make a crumble.

I use a recipe by Benjamina Ibuwe.

I think I'm saying that right, Ibu.

She was on Bake Off, but then she's become like an amazing, amazing chef in her own right.

And she has a recipe book called Arbreen Dessert.

which has a really good crumble recipe in it.

The key with this crumble, this change my crumble making, is that you do some of the fruit raw and you cook some of it, right?

So when you have your egg crumble, some of it is like apple-y mush, but some of it's still got that nice bit of apple.

It's still like hasn't gone to baby food.

Yes.

So you're getting the two types of fruit together.

And in a bowl with the raw stuff, you put like sugar and cinnamon and nutmeg and vanilla paste.

And so you have some raw apples.

So I do a bit of rhubarb.

Hers is an apple recipe.

I've adapted it.

And you mix that through.

And then in a pan with a bit of sugar and lemon, you're cooking some apple and rhubarb.

So that cooks down and is soft.

And then you're mixing the two together, putting your crumble on top.

And I want it.

I literally do them.

It's just a really good crumble.

It's really good.

Isn't raw rhubarb dangerous?

No, no, no, no, Max.

Max, Max, no, no, no, no.

You're not listening.

You're not thinking.

So you have the.

You can't stick a raw one in just like a stick at the end.

You're not a crumble man, that's what I can tell by that comment.

No, I did.

I was being facetious.

I understand.

It is cooked, not as cooked.

No, no, no, no, no.

You cook it in a pan, some of it.

Yeah.

Some of it's in a bowl, raw.

You mix it all in your crumbled dish.

You put your crumbled topping on top, which is just flour and butter, basically, big together.

Then you put it in the oven.

So some of the fruit has had more cooking.

So you're getting different levels of fruit tenderness.

I feel like you're not the audience for the crumble details, but trust me.

No, no, no, I'm excited.

Max only cooks food that comes in a box with precise instructions as to what to do.

But then intriguingly, he just deletes whatever it was.

You would think from that you would pick up some of the skills.

So it's possible he has made this.

He just has no idea if he has at last.

The HelloFresh rhubarb crumble.

Oh, do you do HelloFresh?

We do two boxes a week.

Like two meals a week.

Otherwise, I'd just make a bolognese every night.

You know, and we're time poor.

And, you know, I'm never going to buy a barrel of Monday filling.

You have to justify it.

I was being unnecessary.

No, no, no, you're allowed to.

And also, they sponsor podcasts.

I love them.

They're great.

But we can't because David's called it idiots in a box from idiot.com.

So, like, we're just never going to get that money, which is a bit annoying.

That's like not getting the mattress money.

Come on.

That's what podcasts are made of.

Hello, Fresh Gusto.

And mattresses.

He's sad on mattresses as well.

He's rejected mattresses.

So we are.

We're skints, Carrie Angel.

Why are you a podcaster?

Come on.

That's why we all got into the game for new mattresses.

It's good because we don't eat any fish and then we order one.

We try and do one fish and then we get the fish and then we're sad we've got the fish but we've paid for it so we eat the fish yeah okay that's good it's actually all right at the end anyway tell me about the crumble what's on the topping what's the topping of this crumble that's the crumble topping people who know crumble know crumble so you get flour and butter and sugar and i add oats and then you you rub this together in a bowl and then you put that on top so it looks like a kind of floury mess and then you cook that that becomes crumble becomes the crumble underneath is just a fruit compot basically but the top is the crumble bit but it's i mean i do know what crumble is i feel like now i've really reduced myself myself to.

You asked me what the crumble topping was.

So I had to.

We've established that I know nothing.

But I could see some are sort of granolary.

Oh, yeah.

So you can add jumbo rolled oats, and that will make it a little bit more crunchy.

Some people have flavored almonds, but sometimes that's a bit, you know, this flavor's too strong.

Do you eat a lot of the component parts while you're making it?

I do bake a lot.

If it's cake, I will be...

Afterwards, I'll be eating the cake mixture with crumble.

Not so much because I know I'm going to get it.

Like, I know I'm going to eat that lovely crumble.

So,

and when you've cooked it, it's so fucking hot,

you're in danger of a burn.

So, I didn't, no, I didn't help myself to anything particularly.

I think I had some apple, like raw apple, because I was peeling it and I thought, actually, it looks quite nice.

I'm going to but not raw rhubarb.

Let's establish that.

Not raw rhubarb.

No, that's the point I was trying to make.

Thank you.

Okay, so the crumble is out of the oven.

It's cooling on the top.

You're happy with that.

Carry out this domestic bliss.

She has a half door, and the crumble is like cooling on a

windowsill.

Some neighborhood

boys smell it and are like,

and they try to snatch it.

Is that what happens?

No, normally, if I speak to the neighborhood youth, it's asking him to stop smoking weed outside the book of that.

That's normally, I do my mum job, and I'm like, I'm sorry, guys, sorry.

Can you?

Sorry.

It's just, it really I used to love this stuff, but could you just, you know,

I know what it's like to be high and I love it, and that's very cool.

But can you not do it just below my children's?

Last time I did this, they were like, Yeah, but you smoke weed, don't you?

And I actually, because of my many brains, don't.

And I sort of didn't know what to say.

So I said, Oh, and they went, She does, she does, she smokes it.

And I was like, Oh, this is weird because I'm not cool, but you think I'm cooler than I am.

Even though I haven't lied, I haven't tried to be cool.

I've tried to be absolutely as straight and boring as I am.

They were like, Oh, yeah, yeah, you know, you know, she knows.

Carrie, I've heard sometimes you just light loads of weed all around your house and then hotbox through the letterbox where you just put your mouth up to it and take giant hits off the whole house.

Why is my son asking so many questions?

We're all

on it.

Yeah, I do hotbox my letters.

Exactly.

How do planes work?

Can have some Doritos.

What's happening?

Yeah.

It was very funny.

Anyway, so yes, the domestic bliss, you can imagine it floating on a stable door with a gingham curtain there.

That is definitely not what happens, but sure.

Let's imagine that I have the life of an Instagram influencer okay so the the crumble is on that door where to now now i just went back to my desk and i just did i did some work but like i knew i wasn't going to get any writing done because i said i'm waiting for these notes and some of my brain is like do

we're not in

so i was just doing very boring admin emails to all the many plates that i am spinning yeah that was it until my husband made me lunch can you just explain notes to listeners who don't know what oh sorry so i one of the things i do is i write kids' books.

I've got a picture book that's just come out called Where Did She Go?

which is for four to seven year olds about how to talk to them about grief and death because that's a lot of the subject I work with and I had a kids' picture book come out in December called Lydia Marmalade and the Christmas Wish which was set in Jane Austen Times it's like a mystery with magic for eight to twelve year olds and I've written the second one of that and I'm waiting for notes back from my editor

about that version.

So quite a common thing for writers or people of certain brains is that if you're waiting for something you can't start anything else because you're just waiting like a dog for the next bit so every time I try and write something at the moment I'm like yeah but I need the other notes that makes sense just carry out yes my editor of children's books really has mastered the shit sandwich when giving me feedback.

So massive compliment at the start.

Like I cannot believe this book is going to make so many people happy.

Paragraph.

David's so amazing.

This is the worst thing I've ever read.

Please rethink everything from the title to the characters.

Last paragraph.

I cannot wait for the next time I get to read this.

I cannot wait for you to do the notes that you fucking need to do.

Yeah.

And that works for you.

You're happy with it.

To be honest, because these things tend to take a while, I have a slightly, it's a skill or a gift of some sort whereby I'm very good at forgetting a thing that I have written and a month later reading it back like a stranger

and then being able to criticize it as you would if an idiot had asked you to read their children's book.

And so with a bit of a help of a good editor, and my editor, Anthea, realizes this.

So she'll be like, how about just this bit?

And I'm like, yes, of course, that's what I'm doing.

Yes, absolutely.

I agree whoever wrote draft one what would they think that's really handy do you like writing kids books sometimes I like doing it I like

finishing them more so

I still haven't sussed it I've written seven books the last time I tried to do a sort of puke draft as it's known where you just write you write you write And then when I got to the end of that, some part of my brain was like, great, you've done it.

And then I began to reread it again and honestly nearly abandoned the whole project.

So I still haven't sussed, I still don't have the little roll doll shed that I go out to for two hours in the morning and two hours in the evening.

But I enjoy parts of it, let's just say.

Yeah, I think it's like all things, isn't it?

Writing, any writing, performing.

Like, I feel like Edinburgh, do you know what I mean?

Like, once it's finished, you're like, oh, well, I loved that.

It was great.

But I will say this: is that at least with a show in front of people, if you do a rewrite of it and do it tonight or next week, people will be like, this is what we think about that.

Whereas the deal with writing a book is it's sort of, oh, in two years' time, I'll find out what people think about that.

Yeah, I don't know how you manage it.

I have a column every other week in The Guardian.

So I have good week, bad week, basically.

The week where I don't have to write a column, I'm like, ah, I don't have to think about anything.

I have to write it.

But then I do like it when someone else says, oh, I like that thing you wrote about that thing.

Yeah, that's nice.

Good.

I don't like sending it off because then they might publish it.

They tend to.

And then I think, why are they publishing that Fisher Prize Bollocks next to Marina Hyde's article?

This is a fucking disaster.

People are going to look at Barney Ronnie's there and they're going to look at mine and go, why have they let this person do?

What's that?

And I've just done my favorite goal again or, you know, why I love cricket or, you know, aren't balls round?

And like, I'm just thinking, oh, God.

Try what is fire made of.

that's what you should do yeah you're probably right yeah okay so so mr.

Carriad makes you lunch this is exciting yeah does he ask what you want or does he just go and make it or is he making it while you're making the crumble what's no no we we don't cross kitchen because he gets a bit stressy okay he's an amazing cook amazing and the way you saw the passion that I was talking about pudding that's how he feels about all the other courses so it's a happy situation lunch made in heaven and I'm a bit embarrassed about what I got for lunch yesterday because toasted cheese sandwich please say a toasted cheese switch.

Really undermines.

Froie gras with quince juice.

Because I had ostentatious, I actually put, like normally we'd be like very cafe lunch, you know, like cheese on toast or scrambled eggs.

Easy.

We're both working from home.

We're both writers.

And he's a filmmaker.

And so it's very like.

Easy, easy, breezy.

But because I knew I had ostentatious, I put in a request at the restaurant and said, can we have like a big lunch?

Because then I don't have to go and like, otherwise you end up, do you have this with gigs?

Like if you have like a sandwich lunch and then you're having a sandwich tea and then you've got the gig, and you're like, I didn't get my big meal when I to power me through.

So I had

at what time is this?

Is it midnight?

This was one o'clock, I think.

No, about one.

Because by the time it took, because I requested such a complicated, I said I wanted something nice.

So I had potato dauphinoir.

I had sauteed shard, breaded place with a cape of butter.

That is unusual.

That is unusual.

And was that all in the fridge or did he have to go out and source the ingredients?

Did he have to go fishing?

He had to go and fish it out.

It was all in the fridge.

But it's like living with like a 1950s farm housewife, like, because he so loves cooking so much.

So I will open a fridge and I'll be like, there's nothing here.

I can't see anything because I grew up with a very like freezer food.

Do you know what I mean?

Like Finder's Krispy Pancakes, like chips, fruit corner.

And he'll open the fridge and he'll be like, oh, well, there's that vegetable and this vegetable and we could do this and I can do a couscot.

And I'm like, how do you see?

I can only just see there's green and there's a top of Philadelphia, but those things don't go.

Pitter and hummus.

I guess I'm having pitter and hummus.

Yeah.

So he bought this breaded place, but he was like, oh, I was going to cook that like later in the week.

And I was like, well, I just want a big, can I have a big lunch?

And the potato dove from one was left over from another meal.

Like, he's just, I'm so lucky.

I am so lucky that that's like his

downtime is cooking.

Like, that's what he likes to do.

Instead of collecting 18 bikes, we have too much ingredients in our house.

Can still be stressful.

So, what wife when you're like can we just have pitter and hemmers please yeah i like though that you when you said he'd magicked it out of nothing the the fact that there was just some dauphinas yeah left out potato there you know what i mean that's not exactly ready steady cook either yeah where he's got some washing up liquid a pepper and a hammer and he makes out of it some otter lengthy soup part of me slightly disappointed he didn't bread the place himself you know now we're really going into this.

Yeah, yeah.

But he could do that.

He's let himself down.

He could.

And we sat and he'll be annoyed, but he did make his own cape of butter sauce.

That was him.

And he didn't come with it.

Yeah.

And was it delicious?

Did he have it as well?

Or did we eat together?

We had it.

We sat down and had lunch together.

Because that's, as I said, our mornings are so insane.

So then if we're both working from home, that's like the only chance we have to be like, oh, hello.

Oh, hi.

Okay, key question here.

Do you eat it at a low table?

And has the table been set?

Or do you just simply take a fork out from the drawer and then just start shoveling it into your faces?

Bit of a mix because we've got the table in the kitchen.

And our kitchen's like, we live in a flat, so the kitchen is small.

And so it's like we sit at the table, but then the drawer is behind you.

So all you have to do is like lean like this and you can get all the cutlery and then do it like that.

So it's a mix.

It's not like, it's a bit of decorum.

Sit at a table and chair.

It's really lovely.

And what do you talk about at lunch?

How insane was that morning?

Who's doing that?

Are you getting them?

It's all the fucking parental that's just like.

Right, okay.

And then you often get there, because we both freelancers be like, and you're picking them up, right?

What?

Yeah.

And you're picking them up.

No, I told you about the gig.

You didn't put that gig in the calendar.

I put it in the calendar.

No, you didn't.

But I don't need to.

Yeah.

It's like there's lots of calendar checking and stuff.

And then, yeah, just had a nice chat.

The local rude boys are outside the window and they're shouting up, smells like a caper and butter sauce.

We've made up there, Mrs.

Lloyd.

Are you having that with us, Bliff?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So cool.

I'm so cool, guys.

I'm so cool.

Yeah.

So I had a very nice lunch.

Very nice lunch.

Do you have a little dessert there?

But it sounds like you need a crisp white wine with this.

Guess what we did?

Calipos.

No.

Guys, because I knew I was going out, I made a couple.

We had half for our lunch, leaving half for them to have for their tea.

So I didn't miss out on fresh crumble.

That's great.

So I then had crumble and custard for my pudding.

I would say after that lunch, I'd need a two hour.

I mean, it's place.

It's not like you didn't have a leg of lamb, but I would have an hour's sleep.

Did you have a nap?

Did you have a nap?

So

I want you to know I'm a very hard-working person, but yesterday was not a hard-working day.

And again, you know, it's like you've got a gig.

So it's like...

You went to Champonies for a star break at this.

No, I went and did some more work.

And then I thought, because I knew I was improvising tonight, it's not even like, well, obviously, it's still different if you're doing like material you know, but with improvising, it's like you can't be complete zombie.

I actually went because I'm also doing a book podcast for Sarah Pasco, and I have a book pile like this high.

And so I went and read some of the book that I needed to finish for next week's interview.

And then I was like, I'm gonna have a cheeky 20 minutes.

I'm gonna have to check it.

Only 20 minutes.

Yeah, I think I maybe did an extended snooze.

I think I did 20, and then I was like, actually, I could have another 10.

So then I did another 10.

I mean, I think it's fair enough.

You've got a gig in the evening, you're up at five, but I would

want an hour and occasionally, if I can get away with it, which is now I have two children, I can't, I'd just set it for another hour.

Just

that'd be too much for me.

I'd be stressed about that.

I'd feel so guilty.

I feel guilty napping anyway.

I'm like, oh my god, you got so much to do.

I only did it because I was like, you won't be able to improvise as well as you should normally can do if you don't at least top it up a smidge.

You're going to be like, oh God, I'm so tired.

So, yeah.

And I did finish the book as well.

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Okay, so we wake up from the sleep.

Yep.

What time are we now?

It was like half three, four, and I had to like tidy up, get sorted, get all my ostentatious stuff together, make sure I had what I needed, and get out of the house.

And I was just, that just took way too long.

To the listeners, when Carrie had said, get all my ostentatious stuff together, she's referring to ostentatious the show

and not her various fur coats that she wears to go down to

what to do of course the tiger rug didn't fit what stuff do you because i'd have thought it would all be there at the theater yeah most of it is there we used to take our dresses home but most of it's there it's like makeup to be honest it's makeup and hair stuff because you've got to do your regency regency hair that's why it's very you can't see it's all tonged yeah what else was it yeah it was just makeup yesterday hair stuff, fake plaits, curling wands, the joy of being a Regency lady.

And then, oh, some costumey bits.

I had some costumey bits I just had to remember to bring back.

What time do you need to be?

I mean, a gig looms.

Yeah.

Like even a really fun gig.

I'm doing a gig tonight.

To some extent, it's just there on the horizon for the whole day.

What time do you need to be at the theater to put your plaits in, etc.?

Yeah, so everyone gets there at different times.

Sound check is like 6.15 and the show starts at 30 and we won't finish till 9 30 because it's like too big hot you know it's a full show property show yeah for west end improvised show but i decided to get there at like five ish which is early and i did that because again being adhd sometimes adhd means you're late because your time management is bad but sometimes it means you're early because your time management is bad so i left too early I had like some errands to do.

I think I went to the post office and I had to get myself a snacky tea.

I went to M ⁇ S, got my prawn mayo sandwich and some mini whips, which is my ideal pretty ostentatious snack.

Talk me through a mini whip.

Oh, it's the MS.

They do a bag of mini whips, which are like a walnut whip without the walnuts.

Got it.

And they're smaller, and you get, I don't know, you're getting about eight or nine in there.

Okay, and you have them all yourself.

No, it's an interval snack, but let me say on the record, I'm the only one who ever fucking buys the whips.

So

come on.

It's off of me sharing my whips, basically.

For our international listeners, I'm vaguely aware of what a walnut whip is.

If you imagine imagine the emoji of a poo yes yes but made of chocolate and there's a marshmallow inside yes like marshmallowy stuff inside the old trick of put a nut on top to make you think it's not as unhealthy as it actually is but what they've done is realize not everyone likes walnuts they've taken the nuts off and it's just the chocolate and the marshmallow okay great

and you can get a bag of mini whips so m and s do those like bags of like chocolate pretzels or like cookie dough or mini whips they're about four quid and they're like a little bit more than you think but there's like snacky you can share it with people i need something really sweet in the half time otherwise i can't get through the second half question carry out yeah it's in a west end theater so it's a run in a west end theater at the moment you're basically you know the producers or you're the stage goddess it's incredible it's on at the vaudeville theater and we're on we do like two mondays a month and then i think we're going to three mondays for june and july and we're touring as well oh right you're not doing eight nights a week.

This is not fancy.

No, no, so ostentatious, it's the theater that six the musical is on.

You know, look, hey, we're still an improv show, we know our place, so we're not doing eight nights a week.

We do like when the theater is dark, which means it's closed.

They don't do the musical on a Monday, and that's when we jump in, we put a huge drape over their set, and we perform in front of that.

Fun, like you know, it's a huge three layers sold out.

It was great, that's amazing.

The only time I ever did a gig in a West End theater was because Mondays, yes, it they are available.

I was in the theater where the thriller at the Michael Jackson musical was on.

Shalesby Avenue.

Yes, I was just waiting to go on and I sat on a cabinet or a table at the side of the stage.

All of the props are around, single gloves, etc.

Two mice shot out from under it.

Oh, yeah.

They ran into my dressing room.

And I dislike mice.

It was the worst possible thing to happen a minute before I went on stage.

You can't really tell the audience.

It's not a nice.

Just to let you all know, there are mice in this theater probably going up the leg of your trousers at this moment.

I don't think there's a Western theatre that doesn't have mice.

They're all old Victorian buildings.

They all connect to each other.

The vaudeville is actually not as micey as some of the ones we've played in because it's a bit, I don't know, it feels, it's very.

Well, I heard once, Carriot, that like once a week, a hawker, is that what it's called, comes in.

A falconer.

A falconer stands on the stage and the falcon flies around the auditorium.

Yeah.

They do that at Trafalgar Square.

They don't do that in theatres, I think.

They do it in theatres with a smaller falcon, with an indoor falcon.

They definitely do it at Trafalgar Square and King's Cross.

Have you seen in King's Cross station?

There's a guy with the hawk who's going around to chase off pigeons and stuff.

We had a mouse in our...

flat in in London and I caught it.

I used some Waitrose Muesley, which I sprinkled on the floor.

A classy mouse.

Just under the handle of the fridge.

And I had a colander upended with some string.

And I sat there for about an hour until the little mouse came along and I dropped the colander and it landed.

And it was literally, it may be the most exciting moment in my house.

And then I'd caught the mouse.

And obviously, I couldn't kill the mouse because I didn't want to.

So I...

sort of ran down the street into sort of a back alley near someone else's house.

Someone else's house, basically.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not my problem.

And then when Max marketed it as the board game mousetrap, he got rid of the Musely.

Famously, there's no Musely element to the Board Game Mousetrap.

I took it to Dragon's Den and I was sat there for so long.

And then Tuca Suleiman kicked me out because there were no mice.

Famously, Deborah Meaden refuses to have mice there and such.

I don't know.

It's a big problem.

I've invested to three-quarters of a million pounds of my own money.

And Peter Jones looked sad.

And he said, I believe in you, but I don't believe in the product.

Good luck.

Right, So we're getting at five.

What's the plan here?

I had to make a video for my kids because my husband sent me a message saying they were being insane.

So I had to make a video to be like, hi, remember to be nice because the chaos of the morning continues in the afternoon.

Of course.

And so this is interesting, isn't it?

You've got like a proper show.

Yeah.

I always say to Jamie, I've got to go to work.

I'm sitting on a Zoom call with two nice people, but you know, I know the kids are asleep now, but like quite often the podcast I'm doing, it's like bath time, dinner time, bedtime.

And I'm definitely in the best place.

I'm in the shed talking about Everton's form.

You're doing a proper show, it's improv.

Yeah, who has the harder gig?

Do you think you or oh, him, 100% him?

Putting them to bed is traumatizing.

Like, it's easy breezy.

I'm just going to improvise, make up a show for you know, 800 people.

No idea what I'm going to say.

I would 100% rather do that.

Does seem stressful.

It does seem as a non-improvising person.

It seems I would prefer to be putting some children in a bath.

You know what?

Please come around and put them in the bathroom.

Because if you can, we can't.

Once you don't want, I would happily go into improv.

I'd be so shit, but I'd be like, I'm dying here, but I don't give a fuck.

So I sent them a video in an attempt to ease the madness.

And then, yeah, you go in stage door, go to the dressing room, start getting ready.

And then one by one, everyone turns up.

The girls turn up first because we take longer to get ready because, you know, it's proper regency.

Reinforcing the patriarchy.

And then we have to get on stage, warm up, get the stage ready, and warming up.

So, as people might not know, with improv, you don't know what you're going to do, but there are exercises you can do to like wake up your brain and try and connect with the people that you're going to improvise with.

It sounds pretty pathetic when you stand-ups always think improv's a bit, it's very much the not cool part of comedy.

Hey!

Oh, it is.

It's not cool.

No, I've done cool improv shows and watched cool improv shows.

There are a few, and it's definitely cooler than when I've been improvising for like 20 years.

And when I started, it was not cool and it's definitely getting a little bit cool on Richard Ranch at the piano Ryan Stiles this is the coolest thing which is my parent I still do comedy still players with Richard and Josie Lawrence and all of those guys they're still going they're comedy amazing so you go on and you warm up which means you're just doing stuff to get your brain basically forgetting all the stuff that you have dealt with all day and all the other rubbish because you're putting that to the side to connect with people and get your brain thinking and

you know connecting and being quick and it's like stretching before a run is basically yeah so you stand on stage you do these different exercises basically whatever we feel like doing and our violinist is there as well so he's warming up we're checking the lights and we're doing all of that and then we go backstage

and then there's normally a mad mad panic of getting everything together and forgetting bits and pieces and the way ostentatious works is we have the musician is playing violin as everyone's coming in one of us goes out who last night was rachel parrots just to introduce the show explain it's improvised because we do get lots of people still who don't know that it's improvised it's a play it's just a weird play we've had complaint like we've had people come up afterwards and go well you were just laughing none of you knew your lines

like

oh it's a comedy improv show like we were enjoying each other's company so we come out we say The show you're about to see is completely improvised.

We have no idea what's going to happen.

We have no set plot, characters, structure, lines of dialogue.

All we know is we're telling a story in the style of Jane Austen based on one of your suggestions.

So I love ostentatious.

And then one of us comes out as a professor character.

That's the next thing that happens.

I've seen it in a maybe the least appropriate venue for it, which I think was the

Box Park Wembley.

Was that it?

Close.

An inflatable upside-down purple cow tent.

We used to do the Adderbelly a lot.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so it really contrasted with the Regency vibes of the thing.

Yeah.

That you were in a sort of a banksy type venue.

Yeah.

Yeah, we played that, lots of venues.

So you don't even, you know, idea where you're going.

It's like there's no, like, can you sort of like not shaft your, you know, someone comes out and you just say, oh, welcome, Lord Percy Dingbat, the man who murdered my mother.

And myself goes,

none of the listeners need to go and see the show now.

Max has just absolutely figured it out.

Were you in last night?

That's weird.

Lord Percy Dingbat.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

So do you remember the bit where I said we try and warm up and connect?

So So the idea with Improv is you're not trying to make life harder for someone.

You're trying to work with them.

Because the comedy comes from the two people in agreement.

And it's very different to stand up or sketch and stuff.

It's a different form of laugh.

And the laugh is...

we surprise each other.

The laugh isn't, I take the piss out of you.

I mean, sometimes that's in there.

So then next, a professor character comes out, which we take in turns.

And it was my turn last night called Dr.

Sam Patton.

And basically, they explain, you thought Jane Austen wrote six books.

She didn't.

She wrote whatever number, eight,

I said last night.

And we're doing our best to bring these back to the theater-going public, these lost Austin novels.

And I know some of you are massive fans of Jane Austen.

Some of you, you've got titles of your favorite lost Austin work that people didn't know was written.

And then they put up their hands.

We normally pick the third titles.

It's just random.

But because we've been going 14 years, we have a lot of repeats.

So last night there was quite a few.

Like someone said, The Empire Line Strikes Back, which is a great title.

But we've had it before, we had it quite recently.

And then we went with Of Mice and Mansfield, because that was just the fourth one.

So people think we're planting, but it's not.

We just get the title and then we start.

And all we know is we're going to do like a two-act play.

So you've got the idea of what a structure of a two-act play feels like.

You know, you want to set stuff up, who's who, what's happening, and then you just keep going with the story.

But we have no idea what's going to happen.

Obviously, we have the tropes of Austin.

So, you know, if there's a CA or there's a young lady, perhaps that young lady might like that CAD and that CAD might promise her things that he can't deliver, but you don't know the ins and outs of it.

So

like if you're not on the stage, you like going, you go on, like, or someone call, like, these are good quests, Carrie, these are good questions.

Because you're all, you're, you're on the side of the stage and this thing's going really well.

These two people again, you're like, well, maybe I'll just wander in and say, you know.

Yeah, yeah, you can do that.

And trust me, we do.

And sometimes it's clear that you were not wanted to join that scene.

People can look at you like, oh, really?

We're just having a moment here.

But you normally get eye contact with someone on the other side of the stage and you give them a look of, like, hey, yeah, you like, come into this scene with me.

And you might have an idea, or you might, you might just be thinking, oh, you haven't had a scene lately, or we need to know what your character's been doing because they've been saying that your character is, you know, sad and that her mouse is, it was all about mice last night, that her mouse is not well and she's been to see the vet who she's in love with.

So I want to do a scene where you talk to me about that so we can get more of that character.

But then something will happen where, you know, someone suggests something, and we all pile on because we're like, that sounds fun.

Last night there was like a fake game called Rumpkin, which was sort of like rugby football.

Yeah, actually, Lord Percy of Dingbat was absolutely brilliant at that.

Yes, I'm sure he'd be a good Rumpkin player.

So there were lots of group scenes of Rumpkin games, and that one of the main people who'd just come back from Saudi Arabia as a Rumpkin player was better than everyone else.

Just stupid, just stupid stuff.

What I'm intrigued by is it's a two-half show, which is almost unlike any other improv show ever.

So at halftime, is there ever a vibe of, you are shit tonight?

I mean, is it, I'm not saying you because you've been up for 16 and 17 hours already, but some nights, some people are, like, I always notice with improv shows, some nights the audience are just like, we love this person.

Yeah, that hurts.

And this person can say nothing vaguely interesting.

And it's completely by fluke, really.

Yeah, yeah.

No, so we do have an interval.

That's when I have my mini whips.

And what we do at the interval is we discuss names because everyone, you often forget names.

So we'll be like, okay, especially with girls' names, it's like, okay, which one's Cassandra?

Which one's Emily?

Because you're the Marchmont sisters and I've forgotten which one is which.

And then, okay, you're Mr.

Hardwick, but your dad is Lord Hardwick.

I was Lady Hardwick last night.

And there was.

Gregory the weirdo at the men's club.

So

and Dr.

Dolittle, who was a vet.

And then what we will do, you never, because again, you're trying to keep this vibe going, right?

Of like, hey, we all love each other and this is great.

So you would never say, hey, pick up your game.

Like, yeah, sure.

It's fucking shit.

I don't know what sports are because I literally don't engage with sport.

I don't know.

No one's throwing a teacup, going, you're fucking, you know, I'll sell you tomorrow.

Exactly.

No, it's all about encouragement.

So what you might say, it's a bit passive, I guess you might say, oh, I feel like we all need to nail the story down.

Or I feel like, let's make sure that we're giving a bit more space.

Or the scenes are getting really long.

Let's make sure we're we're editing a bit quicker.

So, we edit the scene by walking across the stage.

So, you give a kind of general vibe note, but we try after many years and many hurt feelings and arguments of like, you never discuss individuals.

If you're going to, if there's a problem, the only thing you're allowed to say is what you did wrong.

So, it's quite good relationship advice.

So, you could say, guys, I want to apologize.

I should not have come into that scene.

Sorry, I thought you had called me on.

And everyone goes, oh, don't worry about it.

But you would never say, why did you come onto that?

Like, it was so annoying.

You always do that.

You've never listened to me.

And I've really noticed, like, you're so stressed at the moment.

Yeah.

So you never say that.

But do you afterwards, like, WhatsApp your best friend in it and go, they were shit.

No, actually.

Oh, my God.

You don't.

But you would.

There's definitely sometimes, because the thing with improv, it's like, I mean, look, I'm not making it cool.

It isn't cool.

It's a family.

But I've been performing with some of these guys for 14 years.

I've known some of them 20.

So you can tell when people have got stuff going on, things are happening outside that, you know, they're stressing them, or they're not, it's not that they're top of the game, you just know that stuff's going on.

So, you might, you might send a message to someone, like, oh, I hope you're okay, like, I hope that works out.

Like, it is that kind of collegiate thing.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, like you, you know, when people are like

not at their 100% happiness, because I can't think of anything harder, like in terms of performance and entertainment, yeah,

it is, Max.

I mean, I'm literally talking over a carrier who actually knows about this, but it does strike me as it is play.

And if you try and get too serious about it and worried about it, obviously it's going to collapse into a pile of dust.

Whereas if you make it fun and you take all these lessons that you've learned from having done it for so long.

It's play.

It is.

It's totally.

It's adults playing.

And that's why it's not cool.

Because when kids play, it's not a cool thing to do.

You're not able to be like, I want you to think this about me.

You want the audience to see you're having fun.

And the reason that ostentatious has existed for so long the reason it survived 14 years which is a long time for an improv group is when I'm at the side of that stage no one makes me laugh the way that group of people do like I will consistently be crying with laughter at something one of them has said and like the joy that you feel of being in this space with we have six a show, but there's eight of us in the group.

Like, so six people, and you're a cog, you're part of this family, this machine.

And there's no pressure.

you don't have to sell this show you don't have to make fix everything you are just one six of this show and if you drop something or you don't do it that person is going to help you and encourage you and get you there and then you get to watch you're laughing the same as the audience are you know when they hear that joke for the first time you hear it for the first time and it's you feel like the dopamine i get from it That's the reason we all still do it.

Like, you know, you hear my life at home is quite stressful.

People don't listen to me.

I have no control.

Everyone's absolutely mashed on Ganja.

Everyone's mashed all the time

yeah and then you go on this stage and you're just like yeah this is so much fun it's so much fun such a good description what was last night's show like and you can really go in two-footed to your character it was a good show we had a guest player so a guy called rob who has only done about five shows with us and he was brilliant but that's also you're always trying to make sure they have a nice time because he's not like a full cast member but it it was called a Mice and Mansfield.

It was, yeah, but Cassandra and Emily.

And Rob was playing a real cad called Mr.

Hardwick, who basically got engaged to three women and promised them all to marry him.

Joseph Morpergo was playing a very pathetic vet that no one wanted to marry, but he was the one who had to say, he's cheating on you all.

And then eventually Cassandra realized she did want to marry him.

So last night was really fun, really stupid, and ended with a live version of Mousetrap the Game, where Mr.

Hardwick the CAD was caught by us miming the thing coming down on his head.

The colander, the giant colander with their muzzle around his feet.

Yeah, yeah, the colander came down on his head.

All three women that held the colander and were like, we know about you.

And

he was sent back and he was fired from his Rumpkin team.

And good prevailed.

So yeah, it was very, there was a lot of mousetrap references.

Do you know what?

Once in the Soccer AM Glory years,

we did the final dance of Rock of Ages.

Oh, wow.

We were invited into Rock of Ages and we did the full makeup of Rome.

We did the final synchronized dance.

And then they stitched me up, but someone just at the end, we were like, they got us out and we were chatting away.

I'd been banging on about saying, Can I play Here I Go Again by Whitesnake on the electric guitar?

And then they brought out an electric guitar and I played it not very well.

I couldn't play it now and sang quite flat.

But I must admit.

And I didn't get standing ovation because they were standing already.

It's important to say.

Oh my goodness.

But I have never come off anything and been more excited about just like

the buzz of being on the stage.

There's something about those West End theatres as well, because a lot of the time backstage, there's posters for Laurel and Hardy when they played there.

Amazing posters, amazing people that you're like, feel good.

Yeah, yeah.

Now, what I always find funny is since they've been done up in recent years, a lot of those, well, the regional theaters have got rid of their references to Abbott and Costello having played there.

And instead, there's just a big poster from a stereophonics gig in 1999, which does nothing to motivate you for the show.

We did a gig in Tunbridge Wells, maybe it was last week, like lovely, lovely venue.

But he was like, Oh, we've got Macy Gray here on Saturday, and all of us were just like, How weird that we're

great, I think it's amazing.

But what we

say, Macy Gray's on after us, guys, it's an amazing feeling.

And it was sold out last night, so it was like full crowd, everyone very happy, we're happy, boom.

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And then the four, actually four girls, we all waited and we got the train home.

And that was, you know, it's just night just doing stuff with your friends.

I never want that to end.

I never want that feeling to end that you get to hang out with your friends and it's work.

Like that's just so nice.

Great.

So what time did you get in?

I didn't get back till like gone eleven probably.

Time we'd sorted everything out.

It's a long day.

It's a long day.

Yeah, that's normal.

That is normal for me.

Like I said, I had a lot of beans to start with.

So

yeah, I got back at eleven, had a cup of tea, herbal tea, obvious, and then I actually started reading another book.

I wish there'd been one really off-brand thing where Carrie had said, and then I started playing Mortal Kombat 7.

And I played it for five hours.

I've one of those chairs, one of those red flag chairs that have the speakers at ear level.

Play against teenagers in South Dakota.

And I went online and started my betting.

I normally bet for like three hours.

I don't mind where.

I'm a big on the F1 circuit, so I'll just start my racing.

I wish I had more off-brand stuff for you, you but I'm very on brand.

I'm very, very dull.

Mum of two brand.

That's my vibe.

And I'm just leaning into it these days.

Thing is, we can't know if you've got in at half 11, you're not asleep till midnight.

Gone midnight, half midnight.

I went to sleep.

Half midnight.

Yeah, because I finished a book.

Wow.

20-hour day.

Is that how long it was?

I don't even count.

That's really mad.

That is a long day, isn't it?

It's like Thatcher, isn't it?

Did you see work, Aria?

Listen,

we searched on Thatcher.

There's some other stuff that you'll tell us.

I know we all thought it was all right.

She doesn't sleep much at all.

That's the main thing about her.

That's the main thing.

Go to the valleys of Wales and the main thing they say is...

And she didn't sleep that much.

That's what we remember.

She didn't sleep that much.

And ice cream.

Ice cream and milk.

After that day and to do that and to get home and then finish a book, you have so many more beans than I have.

This is it.

And then three years ago, I started reading stuff.

I thought, oh, maybe I have ADHD.

Because I do have

a lot of energy.

And this, you're meeting me at 60% energy.

Like, before I had kids, me at 100% was, I could just keep going.

Like, I, I just thought it was normal.

My dad had ADHD as well.

And so I grew up thinking it was perfectly normal to stay awake till four in the morning finishing work or doing something.

So

I try,

I try not to to like tonight.

I'm not going out.

I'm not doing a gig.

I'm just gonna

try and relax.

You crawl in beside Mr.

Carriad.

Does he notice?

He's holding a platter, it's a silver platter with a beef wellington.

A duck breast actually with an orange gee.

He was awake, still working.

We're both as bad as each other.

So he was still working.

He was editing.

He's trying to edit something at the moment.

But I'm happy if he's awake because then I can go, and then this happened

about the show.

You know what?

It's nice to have a debrief.

And to be fair, the reason I stayed up reading is I don't know about you, David, but I can't go to sleep.

I'm too buzzing.

So I have to like do something for a bit.

And it's not gaming or betting.

It's reading.

So I read till half 12.

And

I didn't realise it was half 12.

And I thought, oh, shit.

Okay.

Probably should try and get some sleep now.

What a day.

Yeah.

That was a good day.

It was a nice day yesterday.

Yeah, it was nice.

And then I felt, even though I felt like I didn't achieve much in the day, the show was good.

And I was happy that I had been kind to myself, made a crumble, had a nap, done the things that made the show good.

Thanks for sharing it with us, Carrie.

Thank you for listening to my random boring day.

It's very nice of you.

Hey, I think you'll find that was one of the titles of this podcast that we decided not to use.

Please listen to my random boring day.

I don't know, guys.

It's

something about it, isn't it?

Just something.

Can't put my finger.

I don't know what it's missing.

You've been very kind and made me feel like it was actually quite a long day, which I would not have counted that as a long day.

I would have just been that's normal.

But now I'm like, yeah, that is where I was tired.

That makes sense.

And if you like, if you do, you've seen what I can come up with on the hoof for character names in ostentatious.

Yeah, Lord Percy Digfoot.

Digfoot, yeah.

Yeah, it's a bit of a journey for me, but you know, new bleakness.

Whenever Max sees anything on the TV, like traitors or whatever, he's always like, I can present that.

I should be presenting that.

And now we've moved into a new dark realm where whatever people think you can do ostentatious.

So many people come up and do that to us.

We've had so many people say, I really like Jane Austen.

I'm an actor.

So can I join?

And we're like,

it's just, I've been improvising for 20 years.

I've spent, we're finding the skill that's like, it's a skill.

It's a hard skill.

I'm always like, there's improv classes, there's books.

Totally go and learn.

I don't know what makes you think,

you're just saying stuff.

We quite often on this podcast talk about, you know, comedians talk about like a gig where they've died or whatever.

Oh, yeah.

No one would die more than me.

My knowledge of Jane Austen is almost like literally

the worst idea that anyone could ever have.

You don't have to have knowledge of Jane Austen.

It's just that.

So I will say that.

So we have a running joke because Graham Dixon, who is a brilliant improviser, but when he joined the group, he had never read Jane Austen.

And it was about six months before he admitted he'd never read one.

We were like, oh, maybe read one.

It's ostentatious.

You just need to look at the poster and you see a bunch of people standing there in those outfits, yeah, because it's such a part of our culture in the Simpsons episode, yeah, yeah.

It's period drama spoof, basically, you know, yeah, exactly.

I know it's a wonderful thing.

I should have said that we're in full Regency gear, and the violinist is playing live with improvising with us at the same time.

And it was last night with Oliver Isod, and he at one point decided he knows every tune.

So, when we were at the vets and the mouse was ill, he just started playing the casualty theme tune.

So, so satisfying, you'll be like, I know that.

That's Titanic.

It's great.

You don't need to have read any Jane Austen or even watched Bridgerton, but if you have, you'll enjoy it more, obviously, to a different level.

Carriead, thank you very much for sharing your day with us.

Thank you very much for listening to me, Waffle On.

So, Carrie Add Lloyd, there, and I think we, I don't think Lord Percy of Dingbat.

I mean, I would just, even when you thought of Lord Percy of Dingbat, there was such a pause between each part.

Lord

Percy, this is again another reason why I would love to see you guesting on the show.

It would be the ultimate, could they carry this weight?

It's a bit like I've thought a lot about how, even me in my prime sporting physique, how long could I get away with playing playing on the barcelona 2010 team right if i just played it left back and just shouted a lot and motioned people to do things would sergio busquets just drop in enough just to like cover o'doherty interesting signing from uh the league of ireland pep guardiola signed david o'doherty then a 35 year old out-of-shape comedian

the way they played honestly i'd go for like a mournho or conte park the bus low block You could get away with it longer with them.

Listen, I don't think Lord Percy of Dingbat is a bad name for...

I'm not a Jane Austen expert.

I think he's got a wild life.

You know, I reckon, you know, he's jilted a few seamstresses or, you know, whatever may be

in that world.

Of Dingbat does imply that Dingbat is a place as well.

Of course it is.

Back in those times, it was.

series of novels about the people of Dingbat.

I want to know more about it.

It's important.

We've established that of the two, I'm the empty vessel here, David.

And

I think some listeners would want to know the answers to those questions that I asked.

I would also like, just in the interest of transparency, transparency, is that the right word?

Transparency.

Whichever way you want to say it.

I don't think that you place your child in front of a home IMAX screen and give it

Willie Rushdon chicken nuggets till midday.

16 chicken nuggets.

But you do, to follow the tape, you do lie in bed asleep going, David O'Doherty's the best thing that's ever been.

David O'Doherty, he's such a legend.

David O'Doherty, you've never seen a man like this before.

If you sing songs to yourself about how great you are, please get in touch with the podcast.

Or if you've any other business, this is how to do it.

To get in touch with the show, you can email us at what did you do yesterday pod at gmail.com.

Follow us on Instagram at yesterdaypod.

And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform.

And if you didn't, please don't.

And actually, those songs that I just did about Dave, they were improv.

Yeah, they were.

They were pretty good.

Do yourself a disservice.

What is the Guardian Football podcast if not an improv show where you,

you know, there's a bit of a plan, but then you just go off and

talk about football interestingly, recording it tomorrow, and it is Barry Glendenning, Dan Bardell, and Lord Percy of Dingbat, the panel.

So

let's see what his thoughts are.

What an out for this podcast.

Thanks, David.

Thanks, Max.

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Hello, Max Rushton here.

You might remember me from Series 9, Episode 2 of Parenting Hell.

I'm here to tell you about Dog by the Bakery Door, the debut children's book by author Jamie Bruce.

Dog by the Bakery Door is a charming story of the magical things a little boy sees on a normal trip to get a coffee with his mum.

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Just Google Dog by the Bakery Door.

Here's a review from my three-year-old son.

Dog by the Bakery Door.

I have this book.

Full disclosure: the author might be his mother and my wife, but even more reason to buy it.

She has to live with us and a baby 24/7, has sacrificed her career for my model.

So being an amazing mum to two boys.

Thank you, goodbye.