S3 EP20: Angela Scanlon

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Speaker 2 podcasts there are millions of them some might say too many i have one already i don't have any because there are enough politics business sport you name it there's a podcast about it and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day.

Speaker 2 But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared? Too afraid of being censored by the man?

Speaker 2 Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters.
We'll try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday?

Speaker 2 That's it. All we're interested in is what the guests got up to yesterday, nothing more.
Day before yesterday, Max? Nope. The greatest and most interesting day of your life?

Speaker 2 Unless it was yesterday, we don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushton and I'm David O'Doherty.
Welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday.

Speaker 2 Hello and welcome to today's episode of What Did You Do Yesterday? I'm Max Rushton alongside me, David O'Doherty. Welcome David.
More Irish people on the podcast.

Speaker 2 My great granddad was Irish and so I can use those connections to get into Irish society.

Speaker 2 So you booked Angela Scandalin, did you? Yeah, that's how we've had such a run of a who's who, really, a cornucopia of Irish talent.

Speaker 2 And I don't think it's an abuse of, you know, my family heritage, but that's how we've got here. You probably know her if you don't present her, but like that's not the half of it.

Speaker 2 She just brings energy to everything that she does. I think she's brilliant.
I mean, there's a million things we could plug, but she's got a lovely new podcast called Get a Grip with Vicki Patterson.

Speaker 2 This is the first time we have for the tape. We've just finished.
And it's the first time we've ever, someone has struggled to remember what they did yesterday.

Speaker 2 And also not really wanted to talk about it. But we

Speaker 2 used our power to get her back onto the don't worry for the yesterday completists. It may seem early that she's against the concept, but she was right into it by the end.

Speaker 2 How could you forget having had a wax? That's odd. I've never had a wax, but just sort of remember late in the piece, oh, and then

Speaker 2 this thing happened. I don't think you need to say in the intro that you've never had a wax.
I think it will become apparent from some of your questions or descriptions.

Speaker 2 Have we let ourselves down again? Don't remember someone once sent a list of questions that I have asked, like, what do ladies do? Yeah, something like, what's a bra like? Was one of yours, wasn't it?

Speaker 2 Something like Oh, yeah, and aren't we the kind of you know, we're sort of on the woke side of all of this.

Speaker 2 There is a real 11-year-old boy vibe to the questions.

Speaker 2 We drew boobs, they wouldn't look like boobs, you know, it's that kind of thing. Absolutely no idea.
Neither of us have ever seen a woman. That's what comes across in all of this.

Speaker 2 This is what Angela Scanlon did yesterday.

Speaker 2 Angela Scannon, welcome to What Did You Do Yesterday?

Speaker 1 Thank you for having me, lads.

Speaker 2 It's a pleasure. This is a big one, Max.
Is it?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, Lineker, we've had some English national treasures,

Speaker 2 but there's a degree of Irish national treasure to Angela. So I need you, Max, not to blow this one.
I understand.

Speaker 2 Don't worry about it, but I'm just raising the stakes for Max. Grace.
This is with with no disrespect, Angela, but once we get all three of Bewitched, was it three? No. No, four.

Speaker 2 I thought it was four.

Speaker 1 Oh, hang on. Adele?

Speaker 2 Right. Sinead.
Adele was never in Bewitch. Adele.
Adele.

Speaker 1 It was an incredible springboard for her. Adele Sinead.

Speaker 2 I fancied the sort of Greek princess one. The teacher.

Speaker 1 Was she a teacher? The teacher.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 She was the best.

Speaker 1 And then the two Lynch twins who were Shane Lynch's sisters.

Speaker 2 Were you ever in Bewitch? I mean, how many were in Bewitched?

Speaker 2 This is like the most offensive thing that you could ask an Irish person. And I am Irish as well.

Speaker 1 I don't find that offensive at all. But I feel like you'd remember me if I was in Bewitch.

Speaker 1 Like, I'd like to have thought I'd have an impact in that bad.

Speaker 1 I fight like me dah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And like, don't blame it on the weatherman.
It's totally underrated. I mean, it's not a winning.
It's absolutely banger. It's absolutely bad.
While we're on this, I'm more of a roller coaster.

Speaker 2 Like, for me, that's the actual banger of it. Because it's got like about 12 Beatlesy bits in it.
I'm sure Max Martin or some producer wrote it.

Speaker 1 There's layers, but also it was the denim. I mean, as a young one, those girls out there, it might have been a bit on the nose, but like they understood branding.

Speaker 1 If they were coming out today, everyone knew what they were at. Yeah.
It wasn't like a posh baby ginger situation, but like it was kind of identicate head-to-toe denim.

Speaker 1 But like, I feel like they could hit their stride now that Ireland is having a moment globally, you know.

Speaker 2 No one remembers because I'm a bit older than you, Angela, when Enya got big and we all were sort of ethereal white sheets just walking around town going.

Speaker 2 Well, you didn't walk, you floated, didn't you? Everyone floated.

Speaker 2 Sail away.

Speaker 1 What an ica. I feel like Enya, of all the Irish people, has it sused.
Like she lives in a castle by the sea.

Speaker 1 She has no children. She has all the money.
She could probably walk down the street and no one would actually know who she was. They'd be like, is that my teacher from second class?

Speaker 1 She looks a bit familiar, but like she has that anonymity. She literally hides away in a turret and I'm sure has a private chef.

Speaker 2 So I once got a Tyler to do the bathroom and he said, you won't believe what job I just did.

Speaker 2 What job? I was tiling Enya's panic room.

Speaker 2 Like, isn't that just a beautiful set of words?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Not only does she have a panic room.

Speaker 1 It's bougie as fuck.

Speaker 2 Portuguese tiling all around the floor and everything. Who's after Enya? That was like.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of cash in those mattresses, I'd say. Like the level of wealth, and I bet, like, she didn't invest in Bitcoin is my hunch.

Speaker 1 And I feel like it's literally literally in chests like there's something very retro and kind of off-grid about enya before it was trendy to do so so i think she's probably got like under the floorboards like suitcases full of cash let's say emeralds it's suitcases

Speaker 2 gemstones yes that's more on brand than the punt yeah and

Speaker 2 doing these dodgy cash gigs you know for the last 30 years just yeah i'll come and sing at at your the local community week in Balbrigan but I want two gemstones for that please I feel like it's more Japanese prince than Balbrigan leisure center

Speaker 2 at the swimming pool

Speaker 1 yeah okay so where did you wake up yesterday I have to say I committed to this because of David and I really like the idea of remembering what I did yesterday is hellish genuinely So I'm actually going to lie and just like say things that I did, like the breakfast thing I'm going to go with today's breakfast because it's more recent.

Speaker 2 No, I'm sorry. Is that okay?

Speaker 2 No, okay. No, no, no.
It's not okay at all. We had this before with Esther Manito, who wanted to say what she did the day before yesterday and we refused.

Speaker 2 And I'm afraid we have to be true to yourself. You have to tell us about yesterday because this podcast has very strict morals.

Speaker 2 In a world where the morals are falling apart, this is the one constant that is keeping basically the globe turning. And

Speaker 2 we can't have you ruin this. You're not ruining this.

Speaker 1 But do you know what? I find that really offensive as two men who don't hold and carry the emotional labor and don't fully comprehend and understand the level of like fuzz in my brain.

Speaker 1 And if I can pull a fucking breakfast out of me, Arisen, remember,

Speaker 1 you'll take whatever you're getting, frankly.

Speaker 2 Fine.

Speaker 1 Okay, yesterday, fine.

Speaker 2 Yesterday. Yesterday.
What time did you wake up yesterday?

Speaker 1 I wake up at, woke up, sorry, specifically yesterday.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Yeah.
6.40.

Speaker 1 6.40.

Speaker 2 You see, David, that was a tricky moment, but we stuck to our guns and writing. Exactly.
That was your journalism qualifications there. I would have been like, ah, yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 2 Whereas you pursue the truth like a horny dog trying to bang a school child, you know?

Speaker 2 Wow. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Dogs usually. I know exactly what you mean, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 6.40. I used to think that was a big deal.
But since doing this podcast with Max, he gets up at like 4.20 a lot of the time.

Speaker 1 To facilitate your timings or just for fun?

Speaker 2 Just for kids. Absolutely not for my fun.

Speaker 1 Sorry, they get up at half four.

Speaker 2 Oh, sometimes five, sometimes ten. He sometimes drags them hemisphere to hemisphere.

Speaker 1 Well, they're portable at this age. Isn't that what they all say? Yeah.
You can do all this mad stuff before they hit school, but like, good luck. You need compliant children.

Speaker 1 We have one of them and the other one has literally gone.

Speaker 2 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 The one that I was trying to like appease with the hobby horse out the window there before we started.

Speaker 2 To the listeners, it's the first time the podcast has begun with just a hobby horse in shot and the terrible fear that I have not asked Angela to do this, but instead I've been communicating with a wooden horse and now we have to ask it

Speaker 1 for breakfast yesterday specifically as opposed to any other day.

Speaker 1 So anyway, 6.40 is my wake-up time and it's my oldest daughter who actually weirdly felt like my youngest daughter. In the cheekness of it felt like younger.
And then I realized it was her anyway.

Speaker 1 So she said, woke up with, can we do the cards?

Speaker 2 Okay. And I said, oh, God.

Speaker 1 Okay. These are like.

Speaker 2 A tarot. Please say a tarot reading.
She's really, she needs to know how the day is going to go.

Speaker 1 I mean, I wish that were a joke because actually we do often pull a nail card to see what the day has in store.

Speaker 1 If she's having problems in school, we'll, you know, do a little set and go, do you know what you need to tell Madeline over there? This will, you know, get her back in line. Wow.

Speaker 1 These cards were handwritten cards, which feel very retro. So I have a jewelry business and I'm, you know, trying to get them started, Jung.
So she wanted to write.

Speaker 1 It might feel a bit weird because I'm sending basically necklaces to influencers.

Speaker 1 And I thought, I'm going to handwrite letters as if, you know, that's going to be the gift from God, getting a handwritten letter from me who can hardly write anymore.

Speaker 1 Ruby's been writing love for love

Speaker 1 on them,

Speaker 1 which I don't have the heart to tell her. Like, it's a bit creepy and over-familiar for me to send send it to at Ruby Glamb by Shamrock, who I've not actually met.

Speaker 1 Love, for love. So anyway, she's going to be getting some freckle gear in the post with a handwritten letter.
So we got up. Actually, we talked about doing the letters.

Speaker 2 Nice.

Speaker 1 It's been an ongoing process. And then we went downstairs and I cooked breakfast.

Speaker 2 And what did you cook?

Speaker 1 So I've gotten into the habit of getting a big old loaf of bread, but having having it sliced. So I'll go sometimes to quite a snobby bakery.
There's a lovely one down the road.

Speaker 1 And I said, Have you got one of them slicers? And she said, No, they're French. So she spat at me and said, No, we don't have a slicer, but you can cut it.
I was like, I'm aware I can cut it.

Speaker 2 I asked you if you could cut it. The idea being you just got loaves of bread, and for years you've just been chomping the sides of the

Speaker 2 apple. Yeah.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 I was like,

Speaker 1 thank you so much for educating me as an Irish peasant about how sourdough works, you asshole. Anyway, she didn't have a slicer thing.
So I, morally, I left.

Speaker 1 And usually I wouldn't, I'd be shamed into thinking that somehow a slicer makes me a lesser being. And I thought, you know what, fuck it.

Speaker 1 I want my bread in the freezer and then I put it straight from there into the toaster. Got it.
Okay. It's apparently better for your glycemic index or something.

Speaker 2 Ah, of course.

Speaker 1 It becomes starch resistant if you freeze it and then immediately. Freeze it and then toast it.

Speaker 2 There is one of those slicing machines. In Irish Liddles,

Speaker 2 there is this machine.

Speaker 1 Only in Irish ones, David.

Speaker 2 I had a nightmare about it once.

Speaker 2 Did you get sliced up, David, by Lidl? In your dream? It seems very murderable, almost perfect crime, because you put the loaf in from the Lidl bakery section.

Speaker 2 You sort of draw over the lid, but it's see-through, and you just see like 40 blades go

Speaker 2 up through it, like a guillotine, reverse guillotine. And yes, I think it was the bad guys had my arm in it.
And I'm like, no.

Speaker 2 And it gets perfectly sight. What I'm saying is you could take your artisanal sourdough to Little and when no one's looking,

Speaker 2 whack it in and then run out the door.

Speaker 1 I will do that next time and let you know how I get on. Because I like the feeling of that being.
Or you could cut it off.

Speaker 2 Or, if whoever runs little, you know, Brian Little, yeah, the former Austin Villain manager, Brian Little, he

Speaker 2 became evil and then wanted to like cut up Irish comedians of a certain vintage, yeah, starting with you, then Dara, Dara, Keel T, yeah,

Speaker 1 there's a few now,

Speaker 2 and then they could sell them, and then you'd be there, like, going, Shall I get the sliced sourdough or shall I get the sliced Irish comedian? Doll freeze to take the starch out of it? And then

Speaker 2 you just take the bread out of the freezer and put it straight in the toaster. Straight in the toaster.
For breakfast. Okay, what are you putting on that?

Speaker 1 So we're lightly toasting. Now, I don't know whether you know this, but like the dials on the toaster are minutes, not like settings of warmness.

Speaker 2 I never knew that. Hang on.
Are you sure? Are you sure?

Speaker 1 Well, I'm actually going to Google it right now because I have said this a couple of times. Dials on toaster meaning.

Speaker 1 The dial on the toaster controls the brah fuck, not the minutes. Shit, I misread it.

Speaker 1 But I'm sticking to it.

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Speaker 2 one of my great investments when I moved in here was I got one of those hotel-type toasters.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. It doesn't pop.
It's one where you physically lowered the bread into it. And I think that might actually be minutes on that because you hear a kind of a countdown clock.

Speaker 1 Okay, that is my toaster. I have one of those toasters.

Speaker 2 Hang on. All of us have a duel it.
Is that what we're saying? I have a duel. I have a duel it.

Speaker 2 Look at this. That's lovely.
We're all doing okay.

Speaker 2 Do you have a quoka tap?

Speaker 1 No, I don't. But we only recently moved this, well, a year ago.
And so we're on the brink of starting. We're in like planning to do a renovation.
So currently, everything is falling apart.

Speaker 1 So, like, the string in the bathroom got yanked off the other day. So the light's just permanently on.
The flusher in the downstairs toilet broke. I tried my best.
I looked at YouTube videos.

Speaker 1 So we don't have the posh tap because we're holding out for when we have the posh kitchen that will live.

Speaker 2 I don't know if I because we had Allison Spittle and she was staying in an unnamed posh comedian's house.

Speaker 2 She said with the quacket tap, you have to sort of wank it, was how because it's got a sort of a manual.

Speaker 1 I have wanked one before in somebody else's house.

Speaker 2 But the juice that comes out is just hot water, not

Speaker 2 cum. Not cum.
Oh, sorry.

Speaker 2 Yes,

Speaker 2 true.

Speaker 2 I just don't like the idea of in the similar way, some part of my brain worries about gifs that are just gifting away eternally with no one seeing them. Like, I feel bad for them.

Speaker 2 Similarly, the idea of a quokka just constantly heating water, most of which will never be turned into tea.

Speaker 1 But see, isn't this the same as like a car that's more energy efficient that kind of stops? I mean, it's the opposite, but the same, that stops and starts and stops and starts.

Speaker 1 And that feels like, to me, that feels like a waste of energy, but apparently the saving and the stoppage is worth the restart. Yeah.
That like bubbling water forever.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I mean, what I like to do on this podcast is insult as many brands as possible such that what do you do yesterday will never be brought to you by Quokka Taps.

Speaker 2 Although it could well now come from Duelit because

Speaker 2 we've got 100% on so when you you redo the kitchen i presume that duel it will be the center are you a four a four slice duel it two slice i'm a two i'm a two really okay i hate a sad guys

Speaker 2 this is embarrassing but we are a four and the eight months old isn't even on toast yet i know i know so it's just one slice each duel it is uh duelipa's father and that's where the mother

Speaker 2 came from in the family that is that the worst joke i've ever made do you think max nepo babies I liked it Nepo babies the toaster

Speaker 1 well you know what I could get you a bit of sponsorship with air fryer I it's my favorite device bar one and I was really snobby about them because I put it in the same category as a George Foreman and I thought no way I'm not that girl I'm not getting a fecking air fryer and then my mother this is actually the cutest thing ever she kept saying you should get an air fryer and I was like I don't want an air fryer why don't have a microphone I'm you.

Speaker 1 I'm the old you. So I was like, I don't want an air fryer.
And then I was about to start strictly. She's like, you're going to need all the help you can get.

Speaker 1 So I was like, I still don't want an air fryer. Okay.
And then she said, do you know what I forgot? When my mother died,

Speaker 1 she said, she left you a couple of hundred pounds each, like in the post office. And she said, I forgot to give it to you.

Speaker 1 And so she bought me an air fryer with like the money that I was left in the will.

Speaker 1 So my air fryer is technically from my granny who I haven't seen since I was seven. And like, it's like the most loved piece of kit in the house.

Speaker 2 Have you decorated it to look like her? Oh, yeah. It's got pearls on.

Speaker 1 Takes his teeth out at night. Puts him in a glass.

Speaker 2 Nice little bog. Yeah.
Oh, that's lovely. Okay, so we're making toast for you.

Speaker 1 We're making toast. Oh, no, no, no.
We're only getting started. So we're making toast.
We're like lightly, more so warming the bread than toasting it, right? Understood.

Speaker 1 And then we're cracking an egg in whatever bowl is around,

Speaker 1 whisking that up, whacking a pan on, full tilt with lots of butter, like we're doing eggy bread, okay? But my recent finding is we're doing eggy bread, then we're while the like egg is solidifying.

Speaker 1 I don't know that they put that on a menu specifically.

Speaker 2 Cooking.

Speaker 2 Solidified egg. I'll have the solidified egg.
Can I get a solidified egg? And I get the pink, what's it called? Pink pig? Pink pig, Ars? Is that what it's called? A couple of slices of that as well.

Speaker 2 It's MasterChef, isn't it? Angela has cooked solidified egg.

Speaker 1 Solidified egg, right? So that's happening on one side of the pan, and then I put more butter on

Speaker 1 the other, like like bare bit at the pan and I and I whack in nuts. Okay,

Speaker 1 sometimes they can be pecans. Yesterday, for clarity, they were pecans, this morning, for example, they were macadamia nuts.

Speaker 2 Fine, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 So, in go the pecans, and then a big glug of maple syrup, so they start to like caramelize and kind of bubble.

Speaker 2 Sorry, interruption is it's seven o'clock now.

Speaker 1 Sorry, not still at 20 to 6.

Speaker 2 Is this French French toast? Is this all French toast is? In French toast, you add, I don't know, some vanilla extract or something. Is this all French toast is?

Speaker 1 I whack a bit of cinnamon on just to make it more like American somehow. I know French toast is not technically from there, but like in my head, it's IHOP.

Speaker 2 French-Canadian toast you're making with the maple syrup then. Okay, great.
Exactly that. One egg for one toast? Or how many eggs are we making?

Speaker 1 No, I would say one egg for two slices, unless the bread has gaping holes in it, in which case you can fill with solidifying egg.

Speaker 2 Of course, you can.

Speaker 1 And then you get extra protein in the holy bits.

Speaker 2 But important for the aspiring cooks, you can't fill it with solidified egg. It has to be solidifying, and then it will solidify

Speaker 2 into the hole. That's part of the dream.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 2 That's okay. Okay, and who's having this? You're having this?

Speaker 1 We're all having this. We're all having this.
Oh, no, no, we are not doing individual breakfast for anyone.

Speaker 2 So, how many people are there's two of you are breakfasting?

Speaker 1 Two people and a man, yeah.

Speaker 2 Two people and a man. Hang on.
Sorry, two people and a man.

Speaker 2 Oh, great.

Speaker 2 We're not even people anymore, Bugs. I know.
You can't say anything these days. You cannot say anything these days.

Speaker 2 Proof that if you're just two white men, you can't have a successful podcast. We're proof of that.
And now we're not even people.

Speaker 1 You're not letting grow people.

Speaker 2 You're not letting salt people.

Speaker 1 It's a fucking travesty.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, there's a man in the kitchen as well who belongs to me and then two children. So the four of us get stuck into the solidified egg together in harmony.

Speaker 2 I've got a question here. How do you summon the rest of the crew? Because it's just you and your daughter that you've put to work effectively making jewelry for export.

Speaker 2 You've just been like ringing a bell. Keep working.

Speaker 2 Write more of the cute notes.

Speaker 1 Make me wholesome.

Speaker 2 Do the others just appear or do you have to send her upstairs? It seems like she's almost in a sort of butler room.

Speaker 1 No, I just roar, and I used to think it was really offensive. And sometimes, my husband, the man, sometimes finds it like, Oh my god, stop fighting myself and the butler.

Speaker 1 We are quite spicy in how we communicate with each other. And so he'll say sometimes, please will you stop fighting? and she'll look at me like, What's your man's problem?

Speaker 1 She'd be like, We're not fighting, we're chatting.

Speaker 1 So I'll be like, Ready?

Speaker 2 Yeah, the Helen Copter, we'll call her the woman.

Speaker 2 She will keep telling you a story. And as she moves further away, just increases the volume of the story.

Speaker 2 It's shouting absolute mundanity from three rooms away. This is great.
So all four of you are having your eggy bread. You bought the other two.

Speaker 2 Is the other child is not like mining the metal, the precious metals? Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, although very good, because it's a charm-based business so good with the little fiddly bits do you know what I mean yeah that's great that's great so

Speaker 1 so and like real low rate you know throw them a pound every couple of weeks

Speaker 2 unions don't even know what to do if you're employing three-year-olds yeah so what's the discussion are we planning the day Oh no, we're holding on for dear life.

Speaker 1 So the man actually eats standing up while like trying to gather himself.

Speaker 2 Is that because he's not allowed a chair in your house?

Speaker 1 The bench is full.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's usually, you know, busy. There's a kind of energy of busyness.

Speaker 1 Whereas I like to, as almost in kind of a rebellious, anarchic fashion, sit down and have a slow breakfast, even if it's chaotic around me.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I will not be rushed while I'm eating my solidified egg.

Speaker 2 How old are the children?

Speaker 1 Three, three and a half, three and three quarters, probably, February babies. So three and seven.

Speaker 2 I thought you had a three-year-old, a three-and-a-half.

Speaker 2 I was like, two. How has that happened? I was trying to think of it.
Oh, Iron.

Speaker 2 That's really weird.

Speaker 2 You say that.

Speaker 1 I'm one of four girls, and my two younger sisters are 10 and a half months apart.

Speaker 2 That's not fair.

Speaker 1 It's not kids.

Speaker 2 It's amazing. It happens.

Speaker 2 Back on the

Speaker 1 back on the hobby horse.

Speaker 2 So the man, due to a shortage of chairs, is sat out. There's a bus shelter just outside the house, and he's just sitting in his undies, just eating.

Speaker 1 He just flags down the buses, every one of them, until we appear, just in case it's the right time.

Speaker 1 No, what I have found is that I then almost like externalize everything that's happening in my head is happening for everybody.

Speaker 1 So like. I have to basically repeat myself over and over and over.
Nothing happens until I say it over and over again. Where are your socks? Can you put your socks on?

Speaker 1 One sock goes on, she leaves the room. The other sock is in there.
I'm like, can you put your socks? I'm writing the cards.

Speaker 1 You cannot write the cards until you put your socks on because you need to have your runners on to be able to go out to school. It's like a constant kind of stream.
Have you brushed your teeth?

Speaker 1 Shouting at one off the other side? Have you brushed your teeth?

Speaker 2 Like, have you ever do a TV show that like you're like, this seems quite easy to make? And then your bit's over, and you end up where they actually make it in the galley.

Speaker 1 Oh, the gallery, the gallery,

Speaker 2 and it's just people going like camera seven zoom zoom zoom zoom no and like when you see it back it's just the most boring seamless yeah everyone's screaming at everyone this is the vibe i'm getting me and jay's the other day we left the house you know like getting out of the house ian

Speaker 2 was just being a bit annoying and willie's eight months so you sort of forgive him not really being right focused we left going this is like being at war which is probably disrespectful to people at war but i felt like completely out of the house, we sort of couldn't believe we'd managed in an hour and a half to get out.

Speaker 2 You have painted that picture.

Speaker 1 What I've started to do, like, obviously, bribery works really well in parenting as a kind of card to pull out every so often or every hour. But I find that now I

Speaker 1 the night before, say tomorrow morning, if you want to do this, you've got to do this, this, this, this, and this. So, front-loading all the boring stuff so that they can then have toast.

Speaker 2 Yeah, plain, dry toast, plain dry,

Speaker 1 sliced with a knife toast. It's a shit show, really.

Speaker 1 But I remember my mom back in the day with four girls who were unfortunately similar to my two in that they were, I don't know, deaf or pretending to be.

Speaker 1 She would shout down the hallway, get up, you bunch of chicken shits.

Speaker 2 And she'd fire, in the first floor, she'd fire some warning shots into the bedrooms just so everyone got ready to go to war.

Speaker 1 Well, we had this weird phone system, which I think my dad thought was really bougie, where you would be able to ring from, they had a phone in their bedroom and they could ring down the hallway.

Speaker 1 And so we'd kind of ring each other in from different rooms. And so she'd then ring from the bedroom like this relentless.
It was like the alarm clock.

Speaker 1 So someone would have to get out of bed to take it off to ding and the what to just stop the noise. And then she'd shout down the phone, get up, you bunch of chicken shits.

Speaker 1 And then that would happen on a loop until you're out the gap.

Speaker 2 It does sound like you grew up in a travel lodge. It does.

Speaker 2 Okay, so it's sort of half seven. We've had breakfast.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're half seven, and then your bridge shoes are on.
We're out the gap. We're going to school.
We're going to school.

Speaker 1 So one of them is in a forest school, and then the other's in like normal school.

Speaker 1 Oh, I know. So like wellies, overalls, again, quite a production getting into that every morning.

Speaker 1 You've got to make sure there's thermals, there's a backpack, there's a rain jacket in there, there's an extra change of clothes.

Speaker 1 There's sometimes pissy knickers at the bottom that I forgot from last week. It's like, yeah.

Speaker 2 My main forest school question, though, is like, obviously, I wish I'd gone to forest school, but you grew up in Ireland, so it's the same.

Speaker 2 Is there not a point where someone's like, and now you have to learn Pythagoras' theorem, and you're like, oh no, what I like to do is like wrestle a fox for three hours.

Speaker 1 Sorry, it's double whittling whittling after break is it double whittling yeah i mean i should say that she's three so she's not quite at pythagoras theorem just yet she will graduate to real school she won't be in double whittle forever okay fine what i find is that it like toughens them up we live in london i thought no they need to be out in the out in the wilds So Max, what Angela's actually saying here, it's an old Irish thing.

Speaker 2 She calls it forest school, but she just finds any, it's just some bushes anywhere, maybe on a roundabout. And she's like, I'll be back to find you in six hours.
Just learn some things.

Speaker 2 The kids are hoping it's Hampstead Heath, and it might be Epping Forest. And if it's the Heath, it's better.
But I guess for it in London, that is learning like mobile phone theft, isn't it?

Speaker 2 In Australia, they call it Bushkinder. That's what Ian does on a project.
Bushkinda. Bushkinder.
Bushkinder.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, you're learning to stave off crocodiles and shit.
That's hardcore for a three-year-old.

Speaker 2 He comes home and he says, I decapitated a koala. And we go, great, well done.
Boom. That's my boy.

Speaker 2 Teacher at the end of the day is, unfortunately, we lost another three children today. And everyone just sort of shrugs.
So it goes.

Speaker 1 Survival of the fittest, lads. That's how it works out there.

Speaker 2 There's a snake with three small bodies. You can just see them in.
There's just a sleeping snake going off.

Speaker 1 I find them very, like, it makes them quite hardy, I think, which I think is a very good life skill generally.

Speaker 1 I remember the eldest one, it was very, very cold one day. And I realized walking her in that there were no people coming in the opposite direction because usually I'm a bit late.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, it's kind of frighteningly quiet this morning. And then she was one of two out of a class of usually 20 or whatever that had been dropped off.

Speaker 1 So all of the other parents had looked outside that morning and thought, no, today is not the day to send a three-year-old into that weather.

Speaker 1 And I had thought, no, if you're starting something now, you're going to finish it and so I sent her out and when she came home I mean they did call the day a little early but like her cheeks were purple

Speaker 1 we were like how was it and she was like yeah and I said there was like thunder and lightning at one point I said what happens because I kind of thought do they find them a little shed somewhere and she said um

Speaker 1 oh yeah there was fonda which you know we're working on there was fonda but we just hid under a holly bush and I thought

Speaker 1 okay I don't know how you're going to fare if the lightning strikes the hollybush. I'm not sure it was the best place to hide.

Speaker 2 All I can imagine is like, just like a total psychopath for a teacher who's like, thing is, kids, when you're trying to kill a deer with your bare hands, you got to punch it in the nuts.

Speaker 2 You got to hold those antlers. You know, and there's just a load of three-year-olds just being.
They'll turn up and it's Aunt Middleton who's like put a bag on the head and says, do you want to quit?

Speaker 2 Do you want to quit? No.

Speaker 2 Is the seven-year-old jealous of the three-year-old? Because the seven-year-old has to go to bloody boring old long multiplication school, presumably.

Speaker 1 No, she distances herself from everything the three-year-old does.

Speaker 1 So she's decided, even though it was her entire personality for a couple of years, that she actually didn't really like forest school.

Speaker 2 Like, whatever.

Speaker 1 No, she just shits all over everything the poor little one does. So she's fine.
She's a big girl now.

Speaker 1 She's, you know, making camps and navigating weird social dynamics that happen when you're seven, which is frightening. But anyway.

Speaker 2 anyway, are you a source of embarrassment to her? It turns out, yes. Yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 Well, I just didn't imagine it would happen this soon, David, to be honest, because like I

Speaker 1 dress well, you know, I've got a bit of something about me, you know, and I thought she'd be delighted to be alongside me. And what I've noticed is, so she's very sensitive.

Speaker 1 And so she will Like instead of just going, get off me, you're embarrassing me.

Speaker 1 I'll be holding her hand from the car and then she'll kind of, oh, what's that over there? To break the grip of hands and then just, you know, not have to re-engage.

Speaker 2 That's clever, isn't it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, or she'll scratch her, like she'll have to have really dramatic scratching, and then she's broken the link, and then she just, you know, she knows that her mum is so gullible that she says, look over there, it's Dale Winton in a helicopter.

Speaker 2 And you're like, what? Really? Oh, wow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 She knows that one gets me every time.

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Speaker 2 Okay, so you've done the drop-off. So now it's quiet.
Quiet time.

Speaker 1 Done the drop-off. Quiet time.
What did we do? Well, we're actually going to record a podcast.

Speaker 1 And I actually get dressed for mine, unlike YouTube punks.

Speaker 2 How dare you think that?

Speaker 2 These are our costumes. We discuss the different outfits we'll be wearing from podcast to podcast.
Note that we are sort of complimentary. We're both in dark blues, but we don't want to make it too.

Speaker 2 And we're in the next room. We'd have a big meeting for two hours before, and then we'd go to separate rooms.

Speaker 1 For sound, just to isolate the sound.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I think that's right. I think that's proper.

Speaker 2 So what podcast is this one? What are you doing?

Speaker 1 So this is a podcast that I do with Vicki Patterson. Yeah.
And it's called Get a Grip. And it is

Speaker 1 like two women talking shite show once.

Speaker 2 Is it about how you have to hold a quokka tap and get a grip on it before you make the boiling water come out?

Speaker 1 Exactly. Okay.
Exactly. And I don't want to labor on the quokka thing, but I do feel like it's quite dangerous.

Speaker 1 I know that little wank mechanism is so that children hopefully don't know how to maneuver it, but I also think it spritzes, like, it's not a just line of boiling water.

Speaker 1 It's like a, because it's steaming, back to your point on the energy efficiency, David, it kind of is like,

Speaker 1 kind of like the way the steamer on a posh coffee machine steam makes the thing warm. So it's like

Speaker 2 scalding hot outside of it. You could also just make coffee using your late grandmother's air fryer.
Just you pop in six spoonfuls of coffee, probably some water.

Speaker 2 I'm just imagining, you know, the way people can do everything at air fryers, you could be the first person to be like, I just make my coffee in the air fryer now.

Speaker 1 And it gets it like curdly.

Speaker 2 Yeah, with the chicken residue from the nuggets you made last night. You know me.
What have you heard about?

Speaker 1 Because I actually don't always wash the drawers. Oh, of course not.
Of the air fryer, I mean.

Speaker 2 And you have a few of those little papery bits for a bit, and then you run out of those. You go, we can't get it.
There's no way you could get more of these.

Speaker 1 I never had the papery bits.

Speaker 2 Did you not? See, we don't have an air fryer, but I was in an Airbnb in London for two months over the summer, and they had an air fryer, and it really was. It was very exciting.

Speaker 2 We didn't leave the house

Speaker 2 once because we had an air fryer. So what happens on the podcast? What are you discussing discussing yesterday?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yesterday, the day before the week, because we do it weekly. So, we like to be a bit loose about the days that we interrogate each other on.

Speaker 1 Then, we talk about popular culture, Victoria Beckham's new Netflix documentary, for example. So, we describe it.
It's called Get a Grip, and we describe it as like a women's group chat, which

Speaker 1 I don't know whether you've ever, you know, uninvited, had a look at what that looks like, but it's deranged and unhinged, and in the best possible way, can go in many weird directions in a short space of time.

Speaker 1 And so, that sort of diversity of topic and tone is all encapsulated within our 40-minute podcast.

Speaker 2 Good. The closest glimpse I probably have to it is: I'm on a soup group, which the original idea of it was, What are the cafes of Dublin? What is their soup of the day?

Speaker 1 Fuck off. That is not what a woman's WhatsApp group is like.

Speaker 2 And that was the original idea of it. And let's just say it's gone in its own direction.
It's not pure

Speaker 2 soup information as to what the cafes are serving today.

Speaker 2 That's probably the closest I can glimpse. Okay.

Speaker 1 I don't know whether to be offended or

Speaker 2 you talk about soup. Women talk about soup.
I just wanna go.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, Malika Tawny. Oh, that's exciting.
Oh, well, I never. Well, Well, you know how women talk.
David's got it down.

Speaker 1 Also, once we've dropped the kids to school, we're just lunching, you know? Cafe to cafe, soup and coffee and cake.

Speaker 2 Oh, Gestpacho. Well, I never.

Speaker 1 I love Gestpacho.

Speaker 2 Famously, you make a good point there. This is a video podcast, isn't it? So you have to actually dress up.
You're in the room together. Oh, wow.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're in the room together. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which actually is great, but like, this is better.

Speaker 2 Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 Yeah, honestly. Is it a good one?

Speaker 1 Do you feel it's honestly a great one? Is it hard?

Speaker 1 Yeah, because it was a weird thing. We were trying to figure something out for a long time and then it took ages to get going, right? Yeah, because of timings and different bits and pieces.

Speaker 1 And when we eventually had figured out all of the like moving pieces, we got together to record a pilot, which you'd think would happen before you commit really yeah and it dawned on me on the way there that it could be awful and I we could have hated each other we had met each other in briefly in passing like in a work on a quiz show or this is us this is like us yeah I think you guys have worked with enough people to know that when the dynamic clicks it's actually is a quite a special and unique thing we are looking for it we are trying to find that.

Speaker 1 Keep looking. It's like speed dating.
But yeah, it's honestly great. Like we're chalk and cheese in many ways.
Yeah, similar to you guys, two heavily accented

Speaker 1 humans on two microphones, which to me is anarchy in and of itself in this current day and age.

Speaker 2 That probably takes a while to record. You have to go to a place, you record it.

Speaker 1 We record it, then they do a bit of social media clips in the middle of it. We do two episodes episodes a week.
So we do like a bonus episode and we do the main episode. We're given three hours.

Speaker 1 A lot of that is spent eating dumplings and bitching about people.

Speaker 1 And then we get to work.

Speaker 2 Question. Go.
Where are we? Where have you gone for this?

Speaker 1 We're in East London.

Speaker 2 Okay, right.

Speaker 1 Audio always are the producers. And so we record there.
It's very funny, though, because they have multiple podcasts. And so the set changes.
So we think we have this lovely little sitting room.

Speaker 1 And then when they're clearing up around you, literally the curtains fall off, the screen in the background changes, the lamp and the picture of you in the background is like shoved into a plastic box, and up come the green curtains for the next pair.

Speaker 2 You might think, Angela, that this is my chaotic spare room here with a bicycle and a bunch of jackets that don't fit me anymore, but I can't bring myself to throw out.

Speaker 2 Whereas, in fact, this is a meticulously curated podcast dungeon that my people were mood boarded for months.

Speaker 2 And then, as soon as we're finished, Andrew Tate comes straight in. You're bored down.
We're finished.

Speaker 2 When I was doing the Champions League in Australia, it was the same studio as Married at First Sight, you know, the reunion or something.

Speaker 2 So that was quite fun when he turned up and you're like, this doesn't look like I'm not going to do Villa Royale versus Lazio on this sparkly sofa. Oh my god,

Speaker 1 but also hair extensions that have been ripped from each other's heads.

Speaker 2 Exactly.

Speaker 2 They just take Max's shirt off and he has to present to Tablas.

Speaker 2 And then, you know, I finished the show and I'm on honeymoon with Mark Bosnich by mistake. And I don't know how this has happened.
Okay, so we do this podcast. It must be lunchtime now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's lunchtime. Sorry, I'm literally looking at my diary.
It's lunchtime.

Speaker 1 It is lunchtime.

Speaker 2 Max, this is the first time we've ever encountered someone who has no recollection of what they did yesterday. I know.
That is having to use sources.

Speaker 2 It's having to contact people and be like, do you have any idea?

Speaker 1 I'm surprised by that. I i don't believe you it wasn't that long ago

Speaker 2 okay do you remember what you did yesterday genuine question yes we're very much in the yesterday zone yeah okay fine you're the kings of yesterday you're the kings of yesterday okay yeah people don't care about our yesterdays except for the bonus episode this is your yesterday angel so we need to know yeah must be what midday one o'clock where are we now oh yeah it's half one we ran over Okay, but I've had dumplings on the floor.

Speaker 1 I told you.

Speaker 2 How many dumplings? How many dumplings? Oh,

Speaker 1 I didn't count. There were multiple boxes.

Speaker 2 Give us a vague doubling count, because it could be like a hundred. Four.

Speaker 1 Four dumplings, plus there was a little box of squid, salt and pepper squid.

Speaker 2 What a sad box that is. Okay.
No, I don't like squids.

Speaker 2 I don't mind squids at all.

Speaker 2 It's a great box for you. It's deep.
If somebody presented me with a small box of squid, I'd be like, this is what a sad box.

Speaker 1 Well, like, it's a handful of squid, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Four dumplings and a handful of squids. Good.
This is a good. No, No, you've got it right.

Speaker 2 It's four dumplings on the floor. That was the official description of them.
Where someone just comes in and tips a load of squid and dumplings onto the floor.

Speaker 2 And you just, like a little trouble thing.

Speaker 1 You take what you get, you dors the hair off and you remove on.

Speaker 2 And then somebody comes a massive bag of squids and they just, it's raw.

Speaker 2 Comes in, says Avil, just pops it on each of your laps, goes, there you go.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then Andrew Tate walks in.

Speaker 2 You actually do this podcast.

Speaker 2 What happens next, Angela?

Speaker 1 I'm going to pick up, aren't I?

Speaker 2 Already, she's pick up already. Wow, okay, is it? I don't know.

Speaker 1 No, is it?

Speaker 2 Hang on, we don't know, like, we definitely don't know.

Speaker 1 The three people live in London, there's travel. We're figuring it out together.

Speaker 2 Let's go for a coffee. I'm going to a movie.

Speaker 1 You're absolutely right. I did go.
Oh, hang on. I've just seen wax.

Speaker 2 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 I end of the day guys you're in for a treat

Speaker 1 so sorry can we have a bit of the journey you finished the podcast yeah yeah i stopped off okay don't shame me but i did stop off for a matcha latte okay where did you get that from i got it from a place that i ordinarily don't like to go because they only do oat and dairy and i'm usually an almond kind of woman or almond as other people call me no almond's got to be almond right but if you try say that to people they're like uh-huh what is that an irish almond do we all say almond how would you say it max i would say almond almond so it's just the almond

Speaker 1 i'm not saying the l i'm saying uh with an a almond aw so you're just awing rather than aying yeah that's fine i'm not almond almonding some dickheads almond and then judge me for dropping the l that's silent anyway almond okay fine almond yes so we had an almond no they didn't have any but it's from blank street which is like kind of a bougie place.

Speaker 1 But they do, well, not really, but they have them everywhere. And they're usually iced versions.

Speaker 1 But I had a newsletter that reminded me that Ayurvedic medicine tells you that like cold drinks are actually not great for your digestive system, especially at this time of the year.

Speaker 1 So I've shifted from an iced matcha to a warm one.

Speaker 2 You have a boiling hot Coke and you'll have

Speaker 2 to

Speaker 2 do it. It boils up a Dr.
Pepper and drinks a liter and a half of it because that's great.

Speaker 1 Because it's great. It's warm.
It's wholesome. It's delicious.
It's medicine.

Speaker 2 When are we going for a wax?

Speaker 1 We're not going for a wax yet.

Speaker 2 We've got business to do. Okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 Then,

Speaker 1 what time is it now, lads?

Speaker 2 I suspect it's about half one. We could be going for a forest school pickup.

Speaker 1 We're going for a forest school. No, not yet.

Speaker 2 You know what we're doing?

Speaker 1 Oh, we're doing, I know what we're doing. we're doing an ad for an unnamed brand with a tripod in my living room okay

Speaker 1 this now is it dua lit uh toasters it's not dua lit toasters it's clothes okay and so when i arrived home there was a bag of gear on my doorstep clothes waiting for me so i had to go in forage around put a few outfits together do the filming put the thing on, da-da-da-da-da.

Speaker 2 Is there anyone there to help you or not? Catherine helped me. Catherine, good old Catherine.

Speaker 1 And Catherine, the best thing, actually, there's loads of great things about Catherine, but she is from the outer Hebrides and has the most insanely brilliant accent of anyone I've ever met in actual real life.

Speaker 2 Could you do a little bit of it there? I couldn't even dare. I know Marilyn Robertson, who it sounds quite magical.
And I put the little pot on the cooker. Cooker.
Cooker. That sort of a thing.

Speaker 1 It's like a little bit elfin almost. Yeah.
Like you just know that there's no noise. They're not shooting!

Speaker 2 They're not doing that.

Speaker 1 They're like whispering each other awake, you know. It's genuine.

Speaker 2 I do wonder, though, of the wisdom of employing an outer Hebridean to operate the tech. Like she's like, What is this magical wee box? It captures your soul, Angela.
Is that what she's like?

Speaker 1 Nah, she lives in Cambridge.

Speaker 1 So she knows all about the boxes. And so we did that for a while.
And I do sometimes, you know, a gal's got to make a book. And I quite enjoy the old social side of things.
Sure.

Speaker 1 And then sometimes I'll find myself doing a move which has become a signature called spaghetti legs.

Speaker 2 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 And I'll wonder what turn I took wrong. Do you know what I mean? I'll try and...

Speaker 2 You boil your legs for 10 minutes?

Speaker 1 It looks kind of like that. Like it's a kind of like turning.
So you lift, I would say, from the hip, and then

Speaker 1 the knee, from the knee down gets a bit like fluid, right?

Speaker 2 I'll try and get it.

Speaker 1 There may be a hypermobility issue. Get it, girl.
You have to be standing up, sweetheart.

Speaker 2 Okay. Okay, I'm trying.

Speaker 1 Get up there. Okay, that's not it, but

Speaker 2 this is a better example. Whatever that was.
You were just moving your wrists.

Speaker 1 No, no, I'm not.

Speaker 2 Okay, this is my thigh.

Speaker 1 Think of my upper arm as my thigh, okay.

Speaker 2 So you can stop me one second.

Speaker 1 You can go to the front, yeah.

Speaker 2 You have an upper thigh, wouldn't it be easier to use the upper thigh rather than using the shoulder to say this is my

Speaker 1 fine, fine, geez, Louise? Okay, hang on, lads. Now I have been sitting on dead legs, but okay, we're going to have to tweak this ever so slightly.
Okay, y'all ready for this?

Speaker 2 Bump, Bump, bump, bump, bump, bum.

Speaker 1 So you limber off like this, okay? And then

Speaker 1 you whip it. No, that was the start.
This is spaghetti legs.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 1 Describe it for the people at home.

Speaker 2 So Angela is on one leg. She's jumping up and down on one leg while the other leg, the knee is bent, and

Speaker 2 she is sort of whisking with the other leg. I'd say that's the best.
That's a perfect example. Yeah, okay.
So now my question is, I have a couple of questions on this. Yeah, go on.

Speaker 2 I don't know the brand, of course. Do you think that move will sell the clothes?

Speaker 2 more?

Speaker 2 Fuck them.

Speaker 1 I think that it's a great move, and I'm insulted that that's the question that you chose to lead with after the

Speaker 1 after the demonstration, frankly.

Speaker 2 I speak as the face of Kappa 0809.

Speaker 2 Oh, he was.

Speaker 1 Like the rippy bottoms.

Speaker 2 Well, I was the stylish Italian menswear Roba di Kappa branch of Kappa. Sure.
But actually, it's more time when you're taking clothes off and and putting the other ones on than people think.

Speaker 2 He was once in Man's Health magazine with this rock hard app. Max was

Speaker 1 on, Max. Where is it now?

Speaker 2 Where are the abs now?

Speaker 2 There are no

Speaker 2 dinners of food that came in a box.

Speaker 1 Where's the cover?

Speaker 1 Did you keep it?

Speaker 2 No, no, they kind of, I think I was on like page 128, but they sent us a cover, which I could probably, you know, I could find it pretty quickly, probably.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I bet you could. In your favorites folder.

Speaker 2 Look, we have 10 minutes. We have to get through the rest of this day.

Speaker 1 David is desperate to get to the waxer.

Speaker 2 I'm conscious of you, and you've got very important things.

Speaker 1 What have we done? We've done the thing. I've whipped out my spaghetti legs and then I've put them back in and I get in the car to go for the school run.

Speaker 2 A school run. Great.
And I do that. Has it been a good day? Everyone's happy with their day?

Speaker 1 Everyone's happy. Although, I did get a slight stink eye from one of the teachers who said she was a bit chilly today.

Speaker 2 So we've had to give her like lost and found clothes like as an extra layer oh no and i thought oh jesus i don't i want her to be hardy but not fucking freezing oh no you sent her to forest school in winter and just a bonnet yeah she had leggings but we hadn't shifted into thermals you know there's a gear shift and i just hadn't got there that's so brilliantly passive aggressive isn't it that's a bit like well you know whenever you have the baby any woman over 70 will look and say they need more clothes on however many clothes they've got on whatever the temperature where we live there's like two 200-year-old Greek women who live over the road, and they can't speak English, and that's fine, but they could definitely say socks and whatever.

Speaker 2 It doesn't matter. That's the only word they've got.
They go, ah, you socks. And you're like, oh, come on, Rita.
Give it a rest. Anyway.

Speaker 1 That child is hungry. That child is tired.

Speaker 2 Fuck off. I've fed him.

Speaker 1 He's slept. He's so sleepy.

Speaker 2 I'm tired and hungry. They can fuck off.

Speaker 1 When are you going to burnt me and bitch?

Speaker 2 Okay, so we have collected the children and then we're going for a wax.

Speaker 1 No, we've collected the youngest and then we go to the eldest and the youngest breaks in to the classroom while there's a story time going in on singing the greatest showman at the top of her voice

Speaker 1 until the lovely Kiwi teacher tells her to sling her hook and get out the gap.

Speaker 1 Then we just like shuffle all the way home and then, which I thought was a really lovely touch, a friend of mine, also Australian, was under a bit of pressure and asked me if she could drop her two children off for a little hang time to get her in a spot.

Speaker 2 Hang on, this is big, isn't it? So she's saying she's trying to palm her children off on you.

Speaker 1 She's offering the like company of her children

Speaker 2 to me. We've got two perspectives here.
One is the palming off of children. The other is offering the wonder of her children to Angela.
How many times has she done this?

Speaker 1 Not often. And she is Australian and I, as you might be able to tell, am Irish, and I live in a country without my family.

Speaker 1 And so you very quickly find out that actually you need to pay for friends who will tolerate the palming off of the children. So she's one of the few who I know and she knows.

Speaker 1 We've kind of had that conversation where we're like, babes, we're foreigners in this alien city. If you need me, I'm there.
And if I need, so it's an unwritten thing.

Speaker 1 So even though it was the last thing I needed or wanted, I was like, bring them, get their pajamas and bring them.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow, cool.

Speaker 1 They dropped them off. It wasn't a sleepover.
I just thought at least then I can get my kids into pajamas because they're not getting into pajamas if yours aren't in pajamas.

Speaker 1 So, they're all in pajamas and then we could do movie night, right? But anyway, brought them home.

Speaker 2 Is this literally a last? She's not asked you in the morning.

Speaker 1 So, this is the real kicker. She said, Any chance? And I was like, Absolutely.
I'm on a call, by the way, on the way home from the school. I said, I'll be finished in whatever few minutes.

Speaker 1 I said, What time are you thinking?

Speaker 2 She said, I'm outside your house.

Speaker 2 I think the only excuse is heart attack. That's the only excuse I think.

Speaker 1 They were removing house and moving into their new house. And like, she basically had to try and make it livable for the children to go back into.

Speaker 2 I think the only way you could sort of passively get back at her would be to have, as the movie that you're showing, the new incredible Killian Murphy film Steve

Speaker 2 about an impossible boys sort of reform school in the 90s that is one of the most harrowing films I've ever watched. You know what I mean? We just wanted to send a signal.

Speaker 2 Don't do this too often.

Speaker 1 Don't bring them again.

Speaker 2 We're watching this incredible, like everyone's crying at the end of it, but for different reasons. That's my suggestion.
So the kids are over.

Speaker 1 So we have pasta, obviously. So, oh, my trick to make kids eat like normally is to, when they're starving, give them vegetables.

Speaker 2 You send them to forest school, send them into the freezing cup without any clothes on, and then you bring them back. And then it's instead of a plate of cold chopped vegetables.
Crudetés.

Speaker 1 You love hummus.

Speaker 2 No, not even. It's kind of like the zoo where they're just in a room and she just throws in some sweets and some sweet potatoes.
Turnips.

Speaker 2 Yep, that'll do them.

Speaker 1 So, anyway, they had a few of them, and then we had a big old pot of

Speaker 1 pasta, and then they tore around the house

Speaker 1 like a bunch of headers. And then we got them into pajamas, and they sat on the thing.
And then my husband came home, and I said, you're it. I'm going to get a wax.

Speaker 2 Did he know there were more children than he was expecting? Or did you keep that as people?

Speaker 1 No, he didn't. And he was like, really, on a week like this, we've got quite a busy week.
I just don't know why you add and add and add. And I was like, babe, it's not me.
She's Australian.

Speaker 1 We're Irish.

Speaker 2 Get over it. See you later.

Speaker 2 Oh, no. He's come home from what is he home before bedtime.
So he's home before they're asleep.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, because the other two need to be picked up, you see. Yeah.
So they're sitting in PJs, but they're, you know, quite calm.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it would have been a bad look if you just left them all there in their pajamas. Just fan for yourself.
Forest school would know exactly what to do. You watch the front door.

Speaker 2 I watch the back door. Anyone comes in? We end them.
We slip them.

Speaker 2 But I like the fact that you don't really give him enough time. It reminds me of, I think it was Kevin Nolan, the footballer, who I think was playing for,

Speaker 2 I can't remember, he was playing for Bolton and he signed for Newcastle, but he didn't really know how to tell his wife.

Speaker 2 So one day when he was leaving for training, he just went, I've just signed for Newcastle. Boom, slammed the door.
And they just drove him to training.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Am I that guy? I really resent that when I hear it when men do it.

Speaker 1 It's like, face the music you little bitch you're it you literally said you're it i'm already in the car okay look i've got some big questions we've never asked before do you look forward to the wax the way i might look forward to a dental appointment as in it's good for you you'll feel better afterwards yeah you do feel better i think are you apprehensive though i don't look forward to it and actually i tried to cancel it at one point in the middle i thought you know what we don't need is me leaving for a wax right now.

Speaker 1 So I rang her and I said, Do you know what? I'm not going to make that quarter past five appointment.

Speaker 1 I had rang her earlier in the day and asked her for very specific she and she kind of garbled and said something about, well, you can come a bit early, but you might have to wait.

Speaker 1 Or if you come late, you might have to be early. It was, and I said, well, shall I just come at the time you tell me? Because I don't really want to be sitting waiting.

Speaker 1 She said, yeah, but she might not be late. If she's finished early, you could get it.
Anyway, I rang her and I said, tried to push back the appointment.

Speaker 1 She wouldn't let me earlier earlier on and then i said i'm so sorry but i am not going to be able to make the quarter past five appointment and she said okay well look i have another client at such and such a time could you make it for half six and i said why the fuck didn't you say that to me earlier on in the day okay so i couldn't get out of it and you know obviously maybe there was a little bit of pep in my step leaving four children behind do you know what i mean so it might have given it an extra layer of i'd go for a waxing i would go for a waxing if it meant going out there.

Speaker 2 Would you do the full?

Speaker 1 What would you go?

Speaker 2 What's your line? Well,

Speaker 2 you mentioned the men's health thing. The only time I've been waxed was for men's health magazine.
Time my chest waxed.

Speaker 2 And it was waxed at a golf day and filmed by Deck from Adler Deck, who then emailed me seven different files of my chest being waxed. Never seen them since.
Don't know the guy at all.

Speaker 2 But he did take that video. So I have some experience, but it was only chest.
It was not pleasant.

Speaker 1 Okay. Well, I filmed mine, obviously.
It'll be on my Instagram tomorrow.

Speaker 2 Question. Does the person doing it try and just have normal conversation? Because it's obviously so mundane to them while they're doing it.

Speaker 2 Do they just try?

Speaker 1 They try style it out like...

Speaker 2 Yeah, or just ask you quite mundane stuff that's on their mind, not maybe realizing the mental state you're in.

Speaker 1 I think they try to distract you.

Speaker 1 This woman previously had asked me about different people from your homemade perfect, which made me feel so vulnerable because I like to think I go in like a hobo.

Speaker 1 I didn't think she would have any real notion about who I was. And then she's looking literally inside me and talking about an interiors show that I did for the BBC.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, oh, she's seen my work.

Speaker 2 How about this interior? She's surely someone's going back.

Speaker 2 She's trying to give me confidence. You've got a great set of kidneys and i'm watching them whiz around right now

Speaker 2 what you really want is look there's dale winter in a helicopter rip

Speaker 1 well she does she is that guy

Speaker 1 because she is old school right so sometimes you'll get them and they're putting on a little strip here a little strip there this bitch puts i mean i want to say like a helmet of wax on right

Speaker 2 It's everywhere.

Speaker 1 And like before you know it, it's too late. It has to all come off.

Speaker 1 and she literally kind of riffs it off and i'm hopping off the tip stop kicking me she says stop kicking me i'm the banks i'm not doing it on purpose it's an assault and it surprises me every single time

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Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery.

Speaker 2 How long does it take?

Speaker 1 She's a quick mover. 10 minutes in and out.

Speaker 2 10 minutes in and out. Okay.
It's too... Sorry, just...
Flaps, yeah. No, no, no, no, no.
It is not the cheapest.

Speaker 2 It's prit stick on and then sheet of fool's cap over it. It's a two.

Speaker 2 You put on stuff. The real podcast is David explains.
Of all the people on this call, I want David to describe what waxing is. It feels right.
Pritstick, what? You know, Pritstick.

Speaker 1 I do, yes.

Speaker 2 A stuff goes on. This is how I think it works.
No, maybe not Pritzstick, but a product, an adhesive product. Maybe it's honey or something like that, goes on.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, I would just interject to say that the clue is in the name, David.

Speaker 2 Oh, wax. Yeah, yeah, no, you're better off using wax.
You are better off now that I think about it.

Speaker 2 Aroldite would be the worst stuff to use, you know, the dude with the two chooses.

Speaker 1 Oxy resin. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So the wax goes on, warm. It's hot.
You're hopping off the table because you think, Jesus Christ, that's a bit close. And then they put it all on and they reef it off.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Question. You know, at the end of the haircut and they show you the back of your head and go, you happy with that? Do they?

Speaker 2 They do give you a look. Yeah.
Do they?

Speaker 1 They say, have a little look. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You're going,

Speaker 2 all right. Yeah, thanks, Mel.
Have you ever said you missed a bit? Or like, yeah. Have you?

Speaker 1 I'm like, listen, you're in for a penny, in for a a pound. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 She takes pride in her work.

Speaker 1 You know, I like a bit of feedback. She's open to that.
And then we're all happy leaving.

Speaker 2 So you're happy with the service you get?

Speaker 1 Absolutely thrilled. Delighted.

Speaker 2 Do you walk faster on the way out? Do you know?

Speaker 1 Oh, aerodynamic 100%.

Speaker 2 Or less friction. Oh, God.

Speaker 1 I mean, I am dressed, so I suppose

Speaker 1 I don't know that there would be much to speak of in terms of the change, really. But yeah, so it's a great question.

Speaker 2 Is it carnage when you get home? Are the children all holding the man down?

Speaker 1 Well, no, the man is on his laptop, and the children, or the two visitors have gone. Oh, great.
And my two are still watching Telly.

Speaker 1 And then I have this thing of, oh, it's my job to do the like nagging.

Speaker 2 Oh, classic.

Speaker 1 You know, it's fucking so annoying so he's

Speaker 1 done the thing ie let them watch the tv whatever and then i've got to go teeth brushed have we got our teeth brushed it's time for bed like have you seen the time we need to emotional labor angela thank you very much david you'd know nothing about it i'd say but you are aerodynamic while you're doing it so

Speaker 2 Flying around.

Speaker 1 The load has been lightened on one level.

Speaker 2 Naked from the waist down, doing bedtime. The only way she knows.
Sliding down the banisters. Smooth whistling sound as she shoots.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 They've gone. Have you got your dinner? Has he made your dinner?

Speaker 1 No, I just had passed a standing up, obviously, in the kitchen. Okay, great.

Speaker 2 What time do you call it a day then?

Speaker 1 No, actually, sorry, sorry. That's not what happened.
In the melee of all that madness, I said, I've ordered us. an Indian.
Oh, great. From a little place down the road.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now, it's literally a stone's throw from us. So, ordinarily, I shame myself into walking down and collecting it rather than opting for the delivery option.

Speaker 1 But the lad said to me on the phone, oh, you're our neighbor. We'll drop it down to you.
And I said, Oh, amazing, brilliant. I'll be there more often if I need this.

Speaker 1 And so, anyway, I'm waiting. I'm waiting.
He said would be 20 minutes. I had factored that in.
Brilliant.

Speaker 1 I was going to at least have a little bit of paneer in a buttery sauce before I headed off for my wax.

Speaker 1 It's never arrived.

Speaker 2 Never.

Speaker 1 I got in the car and they rang me and they're like, oh, I'm in such and such. I was like, no, I gave you very specific directions because the postcode's a bit of a tricky one.
This is why.

Speaker 1 Anyway, it arrived when I was mid

Speaker 2 yank.

Speaker 2 Right. So, did you have some when you got back?

Speaker 1 Yeah, in the air fryer. I actually didn't even reheat it.
It was just sitting in the plastic box in the air fryer as if it was some sort of forever-heated oven.

Speaker 1 There was a couple of squashed, crushed pompadom crumbs and some Pele rice and a paneer pea thingy, which was actually delicious, but pretty much cold. Ate that and then bedtime ensued.

Speaker 2 Do you just go straight to bed? Do you watch? Is there brief watching of anything?

Speaker 1 I usually am quite hardcore about no screens. My phone stays downstairs.
There's no phones in the bedroom, right?

Speaker 1 And then we don't have a telly in the bedroom. So the odd time I will, you know, very judgingly disapprove of the iPad being in the bed, but then I break my own rules.
Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 And so, yes, last night I was like, Do you know what? I have had a day of it. I am watching Traitors in Bed.
Oh, okay. So I watched that and then went to sleep.
It's great. Have you been watching it?

Speaker 2 No, no, but I mean, I like the cast. Yeah, I have the cast.

Speaker 1 Alan Carr is.

Speaker 1 Have you seen the show at all? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I haven't seen it. I've seen a variant on it.

Speaker 1 And the Irish one, David, has been an absolute.

Speaker 2 Siamon McSweeney's been hosting it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's massive and joe wilkinson's in this and Alan Carr he's really good in it as well actually people have been like I'm never speaking to Alan Carr again like well he murdered his real life best friend in a one fell swoop Paloma Faith got taken out of it but like it is excellent television and also because of the way they shoot and edit it we obviously know that Alan is a traitor and then is seeing him with the worst like titering away when the when he gets tapped on the shoulder like and then

Speaker 2 winking. I mean, I'm just golding them.

Speaker 1 Like, it's so bad. But now he's got blood, he's got a taste for blood, and he's actually going after them.
It's just really lovely, escapists.

Speaker 2 Actually, murder Stephen Fry. What time do you turn in at, Angela Scanlon?

Speaker 1 Look, ideal case scenario: if I get a bit of a runway and the girls are down, I'm like a bath, I like a meditation sometimes to take the edge off the day.

Speaker 1 If I'm not on the first floor, it's the only other floor bar the one we enter on, I want to be upstairs by nine o'clock and done.

Speaker 2 Wow,

Speaker 1 a couple of weeks ago, I went to bed. We watched them strictly, that starts at half six.
The four of us got into bed at half six.

Speaker 2 Yes, that's so good.

Speaker 1 Saturday evening, and my husband actually fell asleep. We have an emperor-size bed, which was, we got specifically with the idea that four people could fit very comfortably in the beds.

Speaker 1 Is that bigger than a Super King? It's the biggest, David. We have to walk sideways to enter it.

Speaker 2 It's why they've only got a two-sliced duelet because they can't fit a four-slicer in.

Speaker 1 We shot our load in the bed.

Speaker 2 Oh, that sounds wrong.

Speaker 2 That's certainly in that circumstance. Yes.

Speaker 2 Sorry, yes. Angela Scanlon.
Thank you. Thank you very much for telling us what you did yesterday.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Angela. Thank you for reminding me.

Speaker 1 It's been a pleasure.

Speaker 2 Your waxing questions were brilliant. Thank you.
She has an energy. Yeah, forest school.
It's like she's been to forest school. How do you think you would have fared in forest school? Not well.

Speaker 2 I'm not a practical. I'm not hardy or practical.
We once drove around Namibia with a tent on top of a Jeep. Jamie wanted to stay in campsites all the time.

Speaker 2 And I I was like, once we'd done two nights, I was like, I need to be in a building. Oh, I see.
I just think the lion might get me. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And, you know, even if they were like, there are no lions here, there might be one that's lost. And a lost lion would still be hungry.

Speaker 2 Was my so I'd sort of wee off the ladder because I didn't want to go down. We had this with the polar bears in Norway.
Of course.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that would be good if you were the first person ever to be killed by a polar bear in Namibia.

Speaker 2 Truly unlucky. But But I think, look, fair play to Angela for saying yes to that, you know, the Australian that dumped her kids on her at no notice outside the house.

Speaker 2 That is incredibly generous, generous behavior. I very much enjoyed a 100% track record of Duelit toasters on that episode.
It's relatable content.

Speaker 2 I'd love this podcast to be brought to you by Duelit. I do also like how when she described the Indian meal she's had, both of us were like, that's a starter, is it?

Speaker 2 A few pop-in-arms and just a little yogurt-y thing. And I was full.
But this was another one where she'd completely forgotten because she said, I just had pasta standing up.

Speaker 2 And then we was like, Oh no, I got a curry delivered. And it would have been what 10 hours ago.

Speaker 2 Thank you, Angela Scanlon. Thank you, Angela Scanlon.

Speaker 2 If you are outraged by my waxing questions, or is there anything else you would like to get get off your chest the way Max once had all the hair removed from his chest? This is how to get in touch

Speaker 2 to get in touch with the show. You can email us at what did you do yesterday pod at gmail.com.
Follow us on Instagram at yesterday pod.

Speaker 2 And please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform. And if you didn't, please don't.

Speaker 2 Thank you, David. In for life, everything is showbiz.

Speaker 2 Life. And as I said that, I went point down for in.
Yeah. It was just two thumbs, then a number for

Speaker 2 and then motion around for life.

Speaker 2 So, when we learn a synchronized dance for the live shows, tick tock, a tick-tock, a tick-tock dance.

Speaker 2 Bye, Max. See ya.

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