What's Up With Your Face? w/ Ari Shaffir and Adrienne Iapalucci | YMH Ep. 785

Welcome to another episode of Your Mom's House.

I am being joined by two great guests.

First, I have to say the return of the Big J

Ari Shafir, and with him, celebrating the release of her new special, The Dark Queen, which is out now on Netflix.

Check out Adrian Appalucci, everybody.

Give her a hand, and of course.

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

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You can check out Ari's pod, You Be Trippin' every Monday.

Yeah.

So anyway, fuck your stuff.

Adrian, congratulations.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

On your special.

You shot it at the cellar in New York, directed by the one and only Louie C.K.

Yes, and produced by this guy.

Produced by me.

We cannot wait for this anger to come.

Is there a lot of anger coming?

Off the jokes, off Louie.

Hopefully, I'll get some, but

I think so, you will.

Get someone even more divisive to like shield me.

That's awesome.

This is exciting.

Well, they asked me to cut the first six minutes because they want them to get mad right away.

They asked you to cut it the first six minutes because they were like, we just want you to get right to it.

Right to it.

The first session was kind of like, hi, and some jokes about our family.

They're like, just to get out of here.

There was not jokes about my family

at all.

He's a fucking guy.

I have like no jokes about my family.

But just they got, they wanted straight to fucking excite like I think so yeah because they were like it's nice that they're not now like hiding away from stuff right yeah no that's awesome I mean every you know I've known who you are and it's from jokes that people really yeah of course oh that's nice yeah I mean your your stuff definitely makes its way around

interesting I never think anyone knows who I am oh absolutely and

yeah it's it's exciting when when somebody like you gets gets a shot like this this because, you know, that platform is still the craziest thing.

I mean, Netflix is still the fucking granddaddy of them all.

So

that's awesome that you're going to be there.

I'm excited.

I hope people are upset.

I hope some people like it, but I hope they don't.

Let me tell you something.

They are going to come.

I know they're going to come.

And I've experienced

rage and

outrage, and it is coming.

You're going to get it.

But here's the thing.

I think there's something about the fact that, like, this is not, you're not some fucking 22-year-old damsel in distress who's like, la la la, everything's fine.

You know,

nothing's fine.

You know, but like, you know.

So I think when it, when it comes, you're going to be like, oh, that looks, yeah, that was the point.

Yeah.

You're going to see it.

It's funny watching people like walk out sometimes at the cellar and they'll be like, you're terrible.

And she just goes, you're not wrong.

Remember that?

It's fine.

The one taping that Louis wanted to do, he was like, we should do a show where nobody knows you're performing, like, doing a special.

And it was the worst show.

It was like a regular seller crowd.

You'll just do it every day.

They had no idea I'm headlining and just taping a special.

So it's just regular people.

And it was so bad.

It's like wouldn't leave.

Yeah.

And this was taped or no?

This was like...

We taped four of them.

Well, that was one of them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that was the worst one.

Are you using that?

Not at all.

No, but it would be funny to put like the special

next to that.

Because there's one.

remember lou was like there was one joke you did and someone was like this is terrible and then on the other

right and then on the other show someone was like here we go it's just two different vibes i mean it just shows you too because it's like you know when people uh celebrate or or like uh announce who they don't like sure and you kind of just go like yeah dude this really is all subjective though this is takes because there are people who's their favorite favorite and they'll they're adamant and they're passionate about it.

Comic is like, you know, like a really clean comic.

And you go, yeah, that's who you like.

Or they like somebody really, really dark.

It's just not for you.

It's just not for you.

Exactly.

It's like going, I always thought it was like going to the movies.

Like when you go to the movies, you see 12 titles up or whatever, right?

And it's like, well,

you know, the PG thing that you're like, I don't want to bullshit.

It's like, yeah, that's not for you, but

these other groups of people wants to see it.

And that's the same thing with stand-up.

These British Indian people were outside after that show.

and she was changing getting ready for the next day and i just hear i don't know why they stayed the whole show but at the end and they were just still out there talking goes she deserves to be canceled

that's pretty awesome and i was like agent hold up upstairs one second you know remember louis was like we should do all of them like that at first and i was like i'm not for like that's not smart yeah not for like i don't think that's gonna be i also think that actually like as a one-off that's kind of a fun experiment sure but for the joy part of the joy of performing is not, you know, you want people there that are having a good time.

Sure, yeah.

For the most part, right?

I mean, like, if I was like, here's the cool thing.

You're going to bomb.

But, like, over and over.

You want to do it?

You're going to be doing it.

And we're going to.

But we're going to tape it also.

And that's how the world will know you.

Yeah.

It's like, I don't know.

I'd like to have a good time.

Sure.

Or at least.

Little moments that aren't as good.

But overall, yeah.

But that show I was like, I felt like I was tap dancing for retards.

That's what I wanted to call the special because you're up there and you're like trying, these, like, Nomada, they just weren't into me.

Because I think, like, so there's, there's a couple of types of shows that are the most fun.

I think, obviously, like a super hot crowd where you just murder, that's fun.

Everyone, like, has, you know, no one like turns that down.

Sure.

But the other type of show that's kind of fun is when you go out there and you, you get some resistance,

but they don't like, they don't go, I'm at it.

And you get to lean in to what you're doing more.

And by you leaning in, they kind of break.

And you kind of win them over.

Those are also very fun types of shows to do.

Yeah, I like that show better.

I think it's a better, you're getting them to laugh at shit.

They clearly don't want to.

Because here's the thing.

You have to be a little more in the moment for that.

You are.

Sure.

You're more aware.

The last show I did was so killer like that, where I go, this is boring.

Yeah, yeah.

But the night before, I was like, man, I'm really struggling.

So it's like, that's fun.

Yeah.

We saw when Louis came back and there was all this like hatred and like ideas around him.

You know, like, I want my money back.

If he's out there, I don't feel safe.

Like, he's going to run off the stage and just fucking nosedive a dick into you.

But like,

but like, so there's this lady we see on security camera like this, like so mad.

Her husband's boyfriend's into it.

And then like five minutes in, you remember this?

At five minutes in, she goes,

and then like six minutes in, she's like, I'm trying to be mad.

And by the end, she's just like, oh, this guy's actually, this guy rules.

And she's just dying laughing.

Yeah.

People want to be outraged.

It would be fun.

I was just thinking for promo to get like a group, like

individual people in like a montage talking about how much they want you canceled or they hate you.

That would be fun.

That'd be a very fun promo.

I like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Maybe you do like some type of screening.

Do like a like, hey, we're doing a screening.

Yeah, like in an old age home.

Sure.

Really good.

I feel like an old age home wouldn't even be that bad.

It wouldn't be that bad.

The cool thing would be if you screen it somewhere, but you offer, don't just say free screening.

Like you, you also, like, you get like

the food and drink and like some type of people love free show.

You get this.

some type of gift and then people are like, okay, and they watch and then you just get to go, like, what'd you think?

What'd you think?

And people say that shit, like, she deserves to be cancelled.

That would be funny.

That's so funny.

That was really funny.

And that lady did stay the the whole show.

She stayed the whole show and then hung out afterwards for like 30 minutes.

She was out there.

I think someone said they were like, they really didn't like her or they really hated her.

Yeah.

I had

a fun one.

I did my Australia tour on the last tour.

And on each,

we toured most of the country.

There's an opening bit that I did that, like, sometimes you would just hear, just like, what's going on?

And then yelling.

And they're yelling about and walking out, you know, yelling as they walk out because of how offended they were.

And it made its way back to friends who were, I mean, I was sure they're texting me, like, dude, what's going on?

But don't people know like your comedy part?

Like, I'm not really known.

So, like, I understand people coming and be like, oh, this is, they think they're coming to support a woman.

Yeah.

And then they're like upset.

They're like, this is not the type.

It's going to be a woman.

This is not the type of woman.

I'll be a jokes.

And they're like,

this is not what we thought.

But I would think your fan, like, your fans know you.

I think what happens is when you get into

certain size rooms, too, like when the room is big, you get a bunch of people who are like you say, and then you just get people going, especially if you're overseas, they go, oh, there's like a touring comedy.

I've heard this is good.

And they just good is what they think.

They take a chance.

Dice said he still got people walking out of him.

Which is

like, they haven't done the research.

And I have said this by the way, a million times.

His Instagram is the funniest thing that I enjoy that so much that he's just like people are just sitting there.

He's like, but big shot with your shirt off.

And they're like, what?

And they just look and they're like, what?

He's like,

you getting a tan?

And they're like, what?

He's like, your shirt's off.

You getting a tan.

And they're like, I don't know, man.

I guess what?

It's so fucking great.

You want you the one who wants the picture?

Big shot, old school, getting the tan.

Right?

Right?

Old school, like Brooklyn, getting the tan.

I'm sorry, I didn't hear that.

The tan, you're getting a tan.

The sun.

The hand?

What?

He has so much.

The tan.

Sun tan.

Old school, like, you know, like we used to do in Brooklyn.

You know what I mean?

Did Smash Mouth comment on this?

I'll be here.

Yeah.

I'll be here.

This shit, dude, I can watch it.

He's just fucking with people's day, and they don't get any of the point because there is none.

There's nothing funnier to me than like somebody going, like, you want an autograph?

You're like,

I don't even know who you are.

I'm like, an autograph.

Are you the one?

You want the picture with me?

And he's like, they're like, I don't know.

I don't know who you are.

Yeah, they're just talking to somebody.

Fucking autograph.

So funny, dude.

You want to weigh in with the James addiction thing?

The

video?

Was it real?

No, I know.

Did you see it with

the James Duke?

Ignoring them.

Because the Holman Oates thing is old, but they don't even talk about them.

Goodbye, Doable.

There's also something

so fucking amazing about how New Yorkers

handle

a crazy person.

Ignore.

Hard.

Ignore is like, it's built into you guys.

Yeah.

You know, because you've just, your whole, you don't even realize how many people have done this to you because you're just so used to it.

Whereas when you do it and like if you did it like here, someone would be like they would live with this story.

This fucking person came up to me today, you know, and like oh, yeah, you ignore everyone.

You guys have just it all the time.

I had somebody at the store.

I was going back after living in New York for like five years at the patio, and some guy goes, some black guy goes,

he asked me for a dime.

I was like, no, man, no.

A dime?

Yeah, he said, you got a dime, meaning like, do you have any money?

And I was like, no.

And he's like, really?

And I'm like, come on, man.

And he goes, you can't just give me the time and i was like oh i thought you wanted money and that he was just like yeah i'm not that what i'm not that kind of black guy yeah i'm just some dude who wants to know what time it is i just don't know

it's weird to ask for a dime though no one says that yeah well he said do you have the time i had a promote person ask me for 50

50

i was like that's crazy that's a big ass like how about five and i was like still no no i love their plans they're like i'm gonna just change the game starting hot got I'm paying attention, though.

Yeah.

50?

Hey, man, you got 50 bucks?

It's a wild ask.

Yeah.

What do you need it for?

I mean, I do.

I do.

I have a 50.

It'd be perfect.

It's exactly what you need.

Yeah.

What's this for?

It's crazy.

Oh, wait.

I should play our opening clip.

Sorry.

Let me see if

you guys might want to put your headphones on.

You want to put cans on?

Do you mind?

Cans?

Whoa.

Right, it's a big industry term.

Yeah.

You're in show business.

I get it.

I ended up having a little too much kefir.

Sometimes I get addicted to it.

So

oh,

the other end.

Oh,

let's see.

Let's have a look.

What?

Yeah.

It's actually not too bad.

I got more for him.

Just one second.

I'm going to give you some more.

What's the patch?

What?

And Christina Pazitsi.

Welcome to your mom's house.

Do you recognize him?

No.

Why does he have a patch that he's not using?

Is that for later?

That eye looks a little infected.

So...

Hold on.

How long does this theme song go on for?

Like two minutes.

Oh, okay.

It's just like guitar solo.

Yeah.

I can't believe many people don't know this.

It's fucking upsetting.

This is incredibly long.

This shouldn't be this long.

Exactly.

Why are you doing it this long?

It's over so long ago.

There's nothing even added.

You're just doing new of the same.

It's a repeat of it.

Yeah.

It's infuriating.

It's exactly what I was doing.

It was done.

It was done right away.

Yeah.

I know.

And I mean, this is like a mislead to begin with.

You think you're in a sketch and it's just part of the opening?

Yeah.

Pretty cool.

No, that's awful.

Why was that allowed?

Head should roll.

There's a.

Ugh.

It's unsettling.

No, Isaac.

Okay.

This is a octopusion.

Don't bring anyone's mother into this.

No moment of fucking stands.

Welcome.

Welcome to your mom's house with Thompson Burrow and Suzanne.

Christina Pachitsky.

Christina Pacita.

Too long.

Yes long.

To your mom's house.

We haven't even talked about your face, first of all, which is the craziest thing in the world.

What's going on?

Why are you two-faced?

What is this?

It was for the elections.

I want togetherness.

For the elections.

I want people being separated.

So I think half the country.

We should just put it at the Mississippi.

Who are you voting for?

What?

Who are you voting for?

Overthrow 2024.

Fuck yeah.

Anarchy.

Yeah.

It's totally Ari style.

Yeah, I went to Cuba for the election.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah, Bobby Kelly.

Have you been to Havana?

No.

Have you?

I've been to Gitmo.

Oh, to like.

Fucking

give this Haji the business.

Yeah.

He's going to get torture chambers.

I probably could have.

They were so stoked when I was there.

They were like, did you really go there?

USO?

I went to do shows, yeah.

But they were just, I'm sure if I would have been like, can I hit one?

They'd be like, yeah.

Of course.

That's the thing to do here.

It's like so cool that you're here.

The Australian shoey.

You want to kick somebody?

I mean, that's crazy, bro.

It's fucking awesome.

I may have been associated with someone terrorists.

Yeah.

I would like to talk to them.

Yeah.

I don't know where Cuba is either.

I just get in a plane, right?

It's not like I have to drive.

Wait, do you have a zero reference for where it is?

I assume it's south.

Take it.

How far do you think it is?

Because this is interesting.

From where?

From here?

Just, well.

Describe where it is.

Yeah, just describe.

I think Florida's here, and then it's like around there.

That's pretty good.

Okay.

That's pretty good.

You did it.

Actually, you're right.

Yeah, it's about 90 miles.

Oh, I didn't know it was that close.

Yeah.

You could swim it.

You could swim it.

And where's Chile?

We already went over this.

South America.

Hey!

Where did you think before we discussed where it was?

Somewhere brown.

Somewhere brown.

It is.

But here's the thing.

They have a pretty...

They have a lot of whites, the Chileans.

Disgusting.

Yeah.

Disgusting.

I'd be upset if I went there and there was white people.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

There's like the more prideful,

arrogant nations in South America are Chile and Argentina.

And it's because they have so many whites.

I think they're better.

Of course.

I thought Argentina, but I wouldn't think Chile.

I thought Chile was like Mexico.

No, Chile, well, see, Chile had a really big economic boom like 20, 25 years ago.

And

so they have like their downtown is like, it looks like a very cosmopolitan in Santa Claus.

Santiago, Chile.

Santiago, yeah.

Do they have like a podcast boom there?

I don't know if they have a podcast boom, but they they have money.

They have money.

And they had a real money swing, even though it's not as good now.

What'd they get money from?

Maybe I will go there.

From that huge.

Oil.

I forget what the.

Damn, it looks nice.

Yeah, it's very nice.

Wow.

You've been.

I've been.

I would like to go there.

Latin American tour yet?

I did a show there.

In Spanish?

The way that I did it, I did the hour, and then I would close on like 20 to 30 minutes of Spanish.

I didn't want to advertise it as such.

You get more people, they said, doing...

They're like, if they know you, they know you as an English-speaking copy.

Yeah.

So.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So they'd be like, wait, what?

Why is he coming to do that?

Anyway, it was great.

Now, this guy I wanted to show you that reminds me a lot of you.

In this episode of What Does the Wild Naked Man Drink?

I'm going to fill this beautiful

jar with my

smart big opening.

That's something that will get a lot of people.

Small opening.

Especially after some amazing working out or going for a run or pumping some iron.

The mic technique is is great.

It's a form of biofeedback and it's a form of self-love.

When I drink my own

enhanced benefit of self-approval, come on.

Come on, what?

Come on, don't drink.

You don't want to feel that.

You got to run through a Brita first or something.

I don't know, man.

No, it's organic.

He drinks this all the time.

It's no wonder the yogis have been fing for over 5,000 years.

That's a lot of piss.

Yeah.

Everything that's bad for us, like injecting heavy metals and aborted fetal cells right into your body, is made to seem good.

And everything that's good for us, like drinking your piss, is made to seem bad.

We live in an inverted clam world.

Pause for a second.

I don't believe it's piss.

He didn't show us.

He didn't show us.

He didn't show us.

And there's a lot coming out.

Yeah.

There's no, he doesn't seem like it's too hot or warm.

But also, like, anything that's bad for us?

And he said, what?

Like, like shooting us up with aborted baby fetus?

Yeah.

As if that's just a casual thing everyone does.

Everyone does that.

Yeah.

He does

in my live workshops, we do a beautiful cock exercise, and this is actually inspired by a guy named Darius Bashar.

I hope they run trades who basically

different dicks,

they are different, yeah, they all look the same to me.

God, I hope an alligator runs out of there and just eats one off.

You love your penis, your self-esteem goes up.

See that?

You love your penis, so what do you do?

You have a pretty nice self-esteem.

You have a good self-esteem.

And then, how about we go first?

So, we're gonna

Please don't touch dicks.

Oh, I hope they do.

Adrienne's going to get her wish pretty soon.

Oh, I mean.

Oh,

God.

How come the other guy's not in there?

He's rubbing it back and forth in their leg.

I think the most upsetting part of this would be like if we were doing this, just

if the head of your dick was on my thigh, I'd be be like, God damn it.

I know it's there.

I can't do that.

You wouldn't do that.

No way.

No way, says the guy that took a shit on the stage.

A shit on stage.

Okay, let's do it.

You're right.

Let's go.

No, no, no, no, no.

Stop.

Stop.

Let's go.

Why did you shit on stage?

What?

I feel like this is such a because what else can he do?

There's like nothing.

You had to shit.

Next year, you're going to have to.

You had to shit.

I was had to take a shit.

I was on antibiotics.

And how many people are in the room while you shit?

100, 120, 150.

Was it a healthy shit?

It looked like elephant round.

Like, it was huge.

It was huge?

A lot of people were saying it was extremely bloody, but I say less bloody than normal.

Oh, I know.

I say a moderate level of blood.

Oh, he's always wiping.

No, wiping?

What?

No wiping?

I wiped and threw it into the audience.

That wasn't the plan.

But once I had wiped and I had a wipe, I was like, oh, now it's like when there's a gun in a scene, you know, you can't take the gun out.

You always notice there's a gun.

What's wrong with him?

His shits are really.

He showed me a picture once that looks like strawberry chocolate cake or something

spicy gummy bears.

You've seen the

hemorrhoid.

I don't think I've seen your hemorrhoid.

It's not out right now.

Thank God.

I've never seen a video of it?

I don't think so.

Can you find it?

Of course they have.

I mean, he showed me like his ass tampons.

And I'd have to be like, don't.

Don't put that on me.

Don't put that on me.

A normal thing to say to a friend.

Sure.

Don't put your ass tampon on me.

I would have eventually.

We're friends enough where it's like

you would have got it.

Would you go to one of his clinics?

This part would be hard.

Yeah.

Would you?

That'd be tough.

But their dick's already went home.

Oh, no.

Oh, is he a little bit more?

No, how is this part of self-love?

This is just gay.

This whole thing is...

No.

Oh, fuck yeah.

There's a movie like.

Oh, no.

There's a movie where the guy's like sucking his own deck in the beginning

That's not that good just jizz in a cup and drink it

What is this guy's deal?

Well here listen

He says something important here get that oh

he's been at it like my dog.

That's a treat

I'm shameless, I'm fearless, I'm doubtless.

There you go.

Is this Lena Dunham?

When you get all of it out, you want to waste any of it.

Yeah.

That means he's a Jew, too.

Ugh.

If he really loved himself, he would suck his own dick, though.

Yeah.

He's trying.

He's definitely trying.

He's doing everything.

But he's not.

He's not.

If he really loved himself.

I didn't get him.

That's what I would tell him.

That you didn't.

What?

If you really loved yourself, you'd suck your own dick.

Get some of your ribs taken out.

Yeah.

These guys come to you?

No.

He came here.

He came in the studio.

Was he naked?

He tried to, and we were like, no.

So he did it in his underwear.

What do you mean?

Jizz in his underwear?

No, he didn't jizz.

He just did the show.

Oh, he did the show in his underwear.

Yeah.

But he was like, can I be naked?

And we were like, I don't think so.

I'd rather not.

There's nice ladies that work here.

Yeah.

I'm surprised your staff hasn't seen something.

I'm surprised I haven't stepped over the line yet here.

You?

Yeah.

Let's keep it like that.

Yeah, I'm trying, but.

No, no, no.

You don't get to shake your head.

No.

It's just for the girls.

Yeah.

So, what is this guy's thing when he comes on your podcast?

What is he talking about?

The fact that you don't have a jar of his cum is a shortcoming on your part.

He, you know, the first thing we saw before, even, I don't know if we saw a piss first, it was like he would do

this kind of stuff, you know, like.

So I just went for a run, did some workouts, some push-ups.

I'm just pulling back my foreskin and I'm just waving my hummus cannon around, that shroom.

I'm sniffing

and there's a very subtle pheromonal primal secretion of aproquine pheromones underneath the foreskin and from the sides of the glands and the

what's it called the scrotal sac and it's really interesting because in ancient Sparta the men were constantly working out with their foreskins forward they were I find it's good I think he's making this stuff up he's he sounds scientific though he does and like in this one right here like he was citing such specifics

We would play it and kind of enjoy it.

And then when we were in here with him, I was like, this thing, like, so cute and funny and kind of annoying that so many modern men's work leaders base their branding off of like Spartan culture and they call it the modern warrior journal or you know, we're the we're the samurai brotherhood, you know.

Yet they never get naked.

They never do ball cupping rituals.

They never see each other's cocks.

I'm not actually stepping on each other's hearts.

That is crazy.

That is crazy.

That's crazy.

So this was like how we modern men are doing this.

These videos, we were like, this is hilarious.

Does he go home for Thanksgiving?

He does.

So when he was here, he's very sincere.

He's a very sincere guy.

Like

when he's out here, you could tell that he really means this stuff.

And I was like, you know, I think he's used to the reaction that we all have to it.

And he just goes on.

I mean, he's

when really they could be leeching good, high-vibrational brotherhood vibrations into each other's ball sacks through cupping,

which is exactly what the Spartans did.

You know, if you claim to be like a Spartan samurai brotherhood, it's like the samurai were sniffing each other's balls.

And the Spartans were

in the bottom of the battle on animal skins.

I saw the entire run of the show, Shogun, and that never came out.

No, you missed it.

You didn't.

It was episode three.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

There's a lot of that.

Does this guy have like a job?

I think he has an OnlyFans.

I would love for this guy to be in the workplace.

I know.

Yeah, I got to go to the bathroom real quick and make a video.

And I think because he's in Canada, you know, when the person goes, I don't feel comfortable with this as my co-worker.

In Canada, they'd be like, you know what?

You're fired for complaining about him.

So

they're never going to.

We need to normalize jizzing in our own faces.

Yeah.

Why are we making this such, why are you being such a fucking

so sensitive about it, man?

I'd never want that guy to drink out of any of my cups.

Oh, no.

Please don't touch any of my stuff.

What did you have your mouth on?

Don't use my spoon.

Wait, are you a New Yorker through and through, right?

Where did you grow up in the in New York?

In the Bronx.

In the Bronx.

And did you start

just going to mics like people do in the city, or how did you start?

My mom was doing stand-up.

What?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Really?

She did stand-up on and off throughout like my life and then she took me to uh open mic no

how old were you 26.

okay oh i pictured you as like when homer took his kid to the is your does your mom still do stand-up

yes really yeah she was on uh

fallon what they had like nano week or something so she got in as like a grandmom to stand up what yeah i've never been on fallon yeah

Recently?

During the pandemic?

Yeah, it's not that long ago.

A couple years ago.

What did your mom go by?

Let me una she go by.

What's her name?

Name.

Oh.

Mama.

Debbie Baza.

Do not want to say it.

Do you not want to talk about it?

No, I mean, we already just did.

I don't care.

What?

But that's.

So, like, do you...

Do you get to have,

you know, the best part of this shit is like comic conversations?

Sure.

But

my mom will be jealous like a comic.

I remember I got something one time.

She's like, how did you get that?

Your own mom.

My own mom, yeah.

Hilarious.

So what do you think of your special coming up?

Good for you.

No,

she was happy for me.

That's good.

She was happy for me.

Yeah.

Does she ever give you advice on how to write a joke?

No.

I'm assuming you have very different styles.

We do, but you know what's funny?

My mom is actually pretty dirty.

I'm not really dirty.

I'm more dark, but my mom mom is like kind of dirty.

She'll do a lot of like the urban rooms.

Uh-huh.

And she's like a dirtier comic.

No shit.

Yeah.

That's unbelievable.

Yeah.

And so she's been at it for a long time.

Yeah, but she takes breaks.

Yeah.

You know, like year-long breaks.

And how long have you been at it now?

20 years.

20 years.

Fucking A.

Long time.

Yeah.

She's like...

like a East Coast Holtzman.

Yeah.

Without the anger, but it could go great or terrible.

If the crowd decides no, it's just gonna be no.

Yeah, but I mean, I'm not saying like.

Yeah, but when they're into it, though, it's it's like sure.

I seen him at a skank fest.

Holtzman.

I know he was saying something to me about Josh Adam Myers, and he was like, I didn't know he sings.

And I was like, stop your bullshit.

I know you're fucking with me.

Really?

Yeah.

And he was?

Yes.

He was like, oh, I never knew he did that.

Did you know that he does the singing thing?

That was like he was doing a bit on you, kind of.

The guy was like, Brian, stop.

He started laughing.

He's like, I didn't know he did that.

That guy's voice is fucking unbelievable, though.

If you're like,

Yeah, the first time I was in a room and he was like, They're like, He's going to sing.

I was like, He's going to sing.

Yeah.

And then he started singing.

I was like, Holy shit.

It goes on.

It's like a broken head.

He does have your voice.

Yeah.

He commits to.

Did you always do dark?

Kind of.

Really?

Yeah.

Early on?

Kind of.

Did you how?

Because I mean, 20, the thing is, 20, you can't fake or pretend 20 years have gone by.

Like, it just has to.

Sure.

So, like, when you know an audience, for instance, is not on board now, it's something you're familiar with, right?

Like, you go, like, oh, this feels familiar.

But, like, when you're coming up and you're not yet, like, you know, know what you're dealing with, was it like shell shock?

No, I knew pretty early on I was not for everyone.

I mean, mean, I keep getting booked at charity shows, and I'm like, hey, I don't think I'm going to be right for this.

And I keep getting taken off stage at the charity show.

You get removed a lot?

Two charity shows that I've done, and I'm like, hey, I don't think I'm right for this.

Like, I tell them ahead of time.

And then they're like, no.

And then I get stopped in the middle of my set and taken off stage.

They're just having a good time raising money.

The first time I was upset by it.

And then the second time, I was just like, this is not the first time I've gotten kicked off stage.

That's very funny.

What What was the one for the benefit for the rich people?

Oh my god.

So I did this charity in Row Aiton, Connecticut, which is just like rich people.

And it was a charity for helping poor kids or something.

Yeah.

You know, they like to do that.

Yeah.

Tales available online right now.

But they were, um, they were like a very fun crowd.

The girl before me did a joke.

I go on stage, I'm like killing.

And then I did a joke about like rich people having sex with kids on boats.

And I lost half the crowd.

And then

I got taken off stage.

Did somebody actually walk up?

So, somebody's the guy that like introduced us all came on stage.

He's like, All right, you got to get off stage.

I was like, All right.

So, I get off stage.

You're not going to fight first.

I'm not going to fight.

I'll never fight.

I'm like, I don't care.

So, I get taken off stage, and then I'm like, I don't know what happened because I was like, killing, you know, and I understand if I'm bombing the whole time, I'm like, Yeah.

So, I was like, I don't know what happened.

So, this lady comes out to me and she was like, You probably don't know this, but there's a pretty famous

in the community who was like abusing kids.

I was like, Why would I know that?

On boats, yes.

And so I googled him.

It was like someone that worked at CNN or something, and there's a picture of him in front of his yacht.

So they're like, You must be talking about Bob.

So his wife was there.

Oh, there you go.

Yeah, and she like gave the look to this guy, and then they took me offstage.

I had a show once that actually did, it wasn't like they did do a charity donation in it, but I made a joke about

I'm trying to phrase it the right way.

Yeah, I've got to rethink.

I was saying

to a different audience.

Yeah.

About how

when it's

some sexual things can happen to you that you'll get over.

That was the

premise of it.

Sure.

Like it's bad, but essentially what I said, I was like, it's not that bad.

Like you, you'll get over it.

And this woman stood up and she goes, no.

And I was like, what?

And she goes, Leave.

Leave.

Leave.

And I go, No.

Can I make a guess?

Yeah.

White lady?

Yes.

Okay, go ahead.

See, she walks towards the stage and I was like, no.

And then she just makes a she's walking forward and then she makes a right and she kicks open the exit door, which is over here.

Kicks it.

Double, double doors.

Boom.

And I was like, all right.

And I went back.

Everybody's uneasy.

This is like a 300-person room.

So I get off stage and I was like,

and I walk backstage and someone grabs me.

They're like, look, man, that was really funny.

But

she's backstage right now.

She knew she'd be waiting.

And I was like, she's backstage.

Why would you let her backstage?

She is the friend of one of the other comics wives.

his wife and they're just trying to consult her to try to tell her how this stuff works like how comedy.

I'm like, what?

If you go back there, it's going to be a fight.

He's like, if you go back there, this is going to be.

I go, I go, that's fine.

I'm fine.

I just go, I'm leaving.

So I just went out the other door and I just went to the store and I ran the exact same set that I just on there.

Fine.

Great.

It was great.

Yeah, it was great.

It's crazy how one person can turn a quarter room.

And then people like emailed me.

Hey, yeah.

Well, it's funny at that show.

It's like the young people were like, we liked you.

We didn't think you should be taken off stage.

They were mad.

So the next comic goes on, it's like, the whole show is stopped now.

Yeah.

There's like a 20-minute stop.

How about don't have your husband fuck kids?

I know.

That seems like the bigger issue, but I didn't even know.

I'd be mad at him.

But only a little bit.

Yes.

That's fucking crazy.

It was.

Yeah.

And then my friend goes on after.

He's like, I want to address what happened.

And I'm like, oh.

And then half the people are clapping for me.

Cause he's like, she's still in the room.

It was so weird.

Never stops.

No, it never stops.

Did you ever have like a traumatic one?

Like where you were shell-shocked by it?

Not really shell-shocked.

Sometimes, I mean, like, I remember just early on, not like, you know, if you do like a few shows and they go like fairly well, then you're like, I think this is like as bad as it can go, right?

Like, you're just like, and then, oh, man, doing,

I did one of those like cat club shows like on Sunset.

You know, it was like 50 people in this room.

I don't remember the joke, but just people going like,

like you're like, oh,

and you're, or like, oh, good one, like those things where you're like, damn.

And it's like, like, I feel, you know, you get, I can remember just feeling stunned, just being like, I didn't know people do that.

You know, it's like the first time that happens.

I mean, this is like year one, year two.

Sure, yeah.

But you're still like, I don't know people actually do it.

Like, I would never do that.

Was this more of a New York thing?

People would come to fuck up shows at clubs.

I remember going up to like

somewhere in Harlem.

They had like an urban show and they let new comics go up.

And then if they don't like you, I think there was like a gong or something.

And it was like, there was old picnic.

It was so weird.

They had all inside furniture, like outside furniture inside, like plastic chairs and picnic tabletops.

I remember I was dating a guy at the time, and he,

him and the other guy came up, both, they were like, you got to get off stage.

And I did it, and I didn't, I did okay.

I didn't like get that, but I was like, that's weird.

It's weird to just be in that situation where they're like, nope, next.

Nope.

Yeah.

Urban rooms are for black comics and super bad white comics.

That's very funny.

Because like I can see that.

If you develop your act there as a white guy, you're just developing all these like weird instincts that like are not going to apply to most of the rooms you're gonna end up doing basically yeah there's almost no club where you're like dj play that

the sound guy you mean or the

dj the like the black club move of like

hey man when i get up play this bullshit all right and then they get up and they're like hey man what kind of shit was that you're like you asked him to play that that's that's your joke cut that shit off man.

Ain't nobody trying to listen to fucking Justin Bieber.

You're like, okay.

One time I did a show and a guy was pretending he was in a coffin on stage.

And then they played the music and he's like, this is what would be like, you know, when you get to heaven and then plays the music, he gets out of the coffin.

He's dancing.

And then I think I went up right after him.

Killer's hat.

No, no, I ate it all.

I went up last.

I'm kind of like...

dry deadpan a bit.

It was a black room.

There's every TV on.

Yeah, yeah.

It was someone's birthday.

They had a cake everyone's eating.

And I just bought, and I waited for like three hours.

Of course, yeah.

We used to do these LA shows that were like ambush shows.

Like, you didn't realize they're like, hey, you want to get up tonight?

Go to like fucking, you know,

Manelli's, whatever.

And you're like, okay.

And it's an Italian restaurant.

And then you realize, oh, people are just there having dinner.

Yeah, they don't know.

But they didn't go to a show.

And then they're like, it's stand-up time.

And you're like,

you can't do this to people.

Yeah, they're right.

It's the only time the audience is right.

100%.

Like, hey, man, I'm on a date.

yeah right and also it's not just like some setup punchlines it's like really horrible things really horrible yeah if you're not in the mood for it and they're like you know what i'm gonna have the tortellini to go this has been enough for me thank you

one of the first times i got on stage naked was at the ucb only you can say that brody was on stage and brody was like a deathly i think even a lot So he was like, hey, don't do that shit around me, which is just like, listen, I've grown, but at the time, it was like, I'm definitely doing it to you.

Yeah.

And

so I took my, I took a tear away pants and then I just went up on stage with Brody.

But Brody's also addicted to the spotlight.

Yeah.

So he wanted to be out of there from homophobia, but also he needed to be on stage.

So we're like kind of wrestling for space.

You walked and like turned and like, is that, you know what I mean?

Like, I feel like you, I saw this thing where you walked out and then just turned and then walked back.

I don't know.

I don't know if that's the one.

I do that sometimes.

You've done it so many times.

What are we talking about?

Sorry.

But this is up there.

and then afterwards,

uh, Kindler goes up, and this-I mean, they don't get dicks out at you see at the shows, Kindler just goes, Cancel my order of portobello mushrooms.

That's great, that's fucking great.

What is this?

Hold on, I have something

okay, that's cool.

Whoa, somebody rammed him?

Yeah, he got up.

That guy did.

His leg up.

He's like, let's go.

Forget the bike.

Is this the first time you've been run over at a bike during a getaway?

Act like you've been there before.

Take your helmet off.

There it is.

They did a good job.

Huh.

Lose the helmet.

Do they run like not athletic people?

That was rad.

I think this might be in Chile.

What was...

What was...

Do we know the context on that?

Do we know where that is?

Is that in Latin America?

Sure, felt like a Latin America move.

He didn't want to get rid of that helmet.

He knew he was going to have to buy another one.

That was Maryland.

Yo, Maryland.

I thought that was the Middle East.

That was more of Maryland, sure.

I don't know.

Maryland can be pretty rough.

It can, depending on where.

It depends where.

Parts of Baltimore.

Fuck.

Yeah.

Where Sickler's from is like, I was never allowed to go there.

Really?

Yeah.

Like, no.

If there was like a party there, no.

No.

And that was

like upbringing.

Yeah.

In In the city or the county?

Yeah, his little area where he was.

It was just, it was for trash.

Yeah.

There's no reason.

We have a 7-Eleven here.

There's literally no reason to go there.

I think there's another.

What is it?

Here's another one.

I got all that all right, baby.

You hit my car.

I didn't hit your car.

You hit my car.

No, I can't do it.

I'm trying to get it.

That's Maryland.

She's taking her plate.

What?

She's kind of smart, actually.

She was already taking it all.

Look at the smoke coming off of the.

Oh, that.

She definitely hit something.

Yeah, she hits the camera.

Airbags.

Airbags came.

Oh my God.

How are you hitting nothing?

Oh, that's amazing.

Police already got you.

All that.

I feel like it's taking a flat.

She's going to move to take your license.

No, to react the way.

I didn't do nothing.

I didn't do any fucking thing.

And like all frantic.

And it's like, it's not even a borderline lie.

Your car is cave dead.

Yeah, you hit something very hard.

That accent.

It's that specific accent.

Let me hear her again.

It's like a certain kind of white trash.

I got all that already, baby.

Leave me alone.

I ain't doing nothing.

You hit my car.

I hit your car.

Hit my car.

Don't play with me.

I'm telling you, don't play with me.

Her mouth's crooked.

She has hard nips, too.

Oh, she's worked up over this guy.

I know.

She should have just offered to fuck him.

It's a stimulating experience for sure.

Maybe that's how she gets off.

She has to hit someone's car.

Do you like

the mid-Atlantic accent?

Hey.

Hey, no.

It's on.

That's shit.

I like for a second, but then if I'm talking to them, like, oh, I don't want to be in this conversation.

It's a sign of like, you shouldn't be this close to someone.

Yeah.

Oh, say, can you see?

Those dude Orioles games.

By the dawns, early white.

That's not it.

That's a fucking mid-Atlantic, dude.

Yeah,

it's Delmarva.

Oh, shore.

Go down to the shore.

No effects is like, you can hear it.

Oh, oh.

She's getting up.

I thought she might be dead.

She's not.

She might still be.

That's a big fall, man.

What?

Where does she come from?

From a balcony.

Like, that's under a building up.

Man, she must be rich.

I mean, who goes...

She didn't even try.

Is she laughing?

I don't think so.

I think she's like, what the fuck?

Wait.

Look how hard she falls.

She falls hard.

The bounce.

Oh.

Yeah, that's a big fall.

Wow.

She bounced.

She dented the ground pretty hard, man.

Fix your divot.

That's what I said.

Yeah.

It's rude not to.

Yeah.

Hopefully she has a divot repair tool.

No, not a train.

Oh!

Ooh.

It's not the electrician that kills you.

It's the headfall.

Wow.

Was he fixing something or trying to kill himself?

I don't.

That's a very good question.

That's a good question.

And that might be the name of this segment from now on.

Fixing or killing yourself.

Are you you fixing some or trying

yourself trying to fix this are you on i don't know what you're fixing

look at all the people on the train too just like nonetheless

better just

he climbed onto the train station at the what is this

uh libertsty one station i don't know where that is and grabbed a current collector threw a rag

Oh, it's in Russia.

Oh, he thought he was holding up the rag.

That'll stop the train.

He survived.

He went two days unconscious in intensive care.

The current went through his heart.

He eventually came to broken neck, burns, and bruises.

Broken neck from the fall.

Yeah.

What was he doing?

I mean, he was, I think,

trying to fix something.

He was trying to fix something or kill himself.

I mean, he had the rag.

So it's like if you're fucking...

You wouldn't have the rag if you're trying to kill yourself.

That's what I think.

You would lick your hands and do it.

He's like, I got it.

You know, they were like, hey, the train's not moving.

He's like, wait, but did he work there?

He was probably just late for work.

He was like, oh, he's a fucking arrogant guy.

He was like, the train's not going to be.

I'll fix this.

Putin's grandson.

Everyone knows.

Putin's grandson's not working.

He's not working, but he's like, oh,

I've seen her.

I've seen her.

I've seen her.

What is happening?

She's mad.

She's about to film.

Yeah.

Oh, you don't want to let her get a hold of you.

This is like when Bert's coming at you.

You got to gas him.

You've got to gas him.

And then this.

Woo.

Damn.

Homeless guy.

It was just fucking just a little bit of a damn thing.

That guy guy just saved that other person.

He did.

He's a guardian angel.

In a moment, it was like an angel.

He saw her coming and he goes, not today.

There's like an orcas defend seals against killer whales or whatever.

Or against sharks.

Yes.

That is so true.

Yeah.

He just was like, nah, you don't need to be around her.

Fucking.

Those tits were something, huh?

I do wonder where she lost the bra.

Like, at some point, she probably had a bra.

But do you, I mean, she probably stopped wearing it a long time ago.

What?

She didn't have back pain like everybody?

No, it's just like she's just

homeless for a long time.

It's this turn.

I mean, look at that.

Well, she also lost the sleeves of that shirt.

Yeah.

The bra has not been in her vocabulary in a long, long time.

I'm with them.

She's like, I'll fuck you up.

Look at this guy.

He's like, he's so happy.

He's so happy to do this.

He's like, she turned, she didn't see me.

And he's running just in case she didn't fall.

He's so stoked.

He's been waiting waiting for that moment.

It was so bad.

Bitch eats all my food.

It's so amazing.

Not today.

Oh, Jesus.

No, no.

Oh, you're clearly going too fast.

Ooh.

No, why turn into the...

Oh, that's death.

That person is gone, baby, God.

How concerned is the driver, though?

Does he look...

Hey.

Why does she came out so much?

Why wouldn't he try and reverse?

Back up.

He's like, what do I do?

Back it up.

Back it up.

Here's the thing.

He backs up, and this guy just springs right up.

No.

That's fucking crazy.

No, he does.

He does.

No.

Watch, he jumps right up.

Back up.

Oh, no, dude.

There's a full death.

You can't show full death on your podcast.

Yes, you can.

Honor their life.

What?

Honor their life.

Failed blocks are only funny.

You can't show full death.

Honor his life.

Wow.

And they also were like, damn, he's going to hit that pull.

And then a slight turn and just.

But they also didn't move.

They didn't.

It's kind of his fault.

And they see it coming.

Yeah, it's kind of his fault.

They definitely hear it coming.

Big-ass truck like that.

Oh, the other guy got away.

Shy when you're like, he'll pop up.

Fuck off.

Fuck you, dude.

I didn't think he was going to pop up.

I was like, I think this one's gone.

That was good.

I didn't know the legs were going to do that.

He didn't know.

Does that happen when you break your back?

That's a good noise.

That's a good noise.

Put that on the loop and then fuck it opening tomorrow.

That was pretty fun.

I've got another one for you.

Oh.

That truck is.

Oh, it's up there.

No, no, no, no.

Dude, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Get out of there.

He pops up, though.

I mean, what are you going to do?

Pick it up?

No.

Oh, he's out.

He's okay.

Wow.

Told you.

It's all right, Annie.

What is your life, bro?

So you just live in this?

This is pretty great.

It reminds me of New York David.

Who cares about?

There was a Google job where you had to check what should go in the dark web, what should go in the real web.

Yeah.

And these guys always do about a month and then seek therapy for the rest of their lives.

Really?

That's you.

This isn't that bad.

This isn't that bad.

No, the other one, though.

Oh, I guess it's you guys, too.

Yeah, you guys have to show what's funny enough as death.

Go, yeah, this was horrific, but you don't see an arc.

You didn't see that guy's face, though.

Yeah.

Wow.

Good camera work.

Isn't that cool?

Flying with.

And look, he's okay.

Isn't that right?

Everybody's okay on this show.

Everybody's okay.

Jesus.

All right, one more.

Okay.

Oh, this guy's...

This guy rules, he's got a land.

Oh, motherfucker.

Yeah, that's what he knows.

I think he knows he's coming in hot.

He's got to hit water.

You okay?

What a great question.

Keeps asking me, get in!

Help him!

Get wet!

Why should he get wet?

I think he crashed that fucking hard.

Yeah, I think he probably broke limbs and maybe collapsed a lung.

It just wasn't opening, and he was like, he was kind of game on.

It's clearly this guy's fault.

The other guy was just standing there and got killed.

Totally.

This guy really deserves this.

Yeah.

But also, the other guy just keeps saying, Are you okay?

Like,

get him out.

No, right?

He fell.

What do you, what do you mean?

What other noise do I have to make to let you know I'm not okay?

Maybe moving him will make it worse.

Oh, yeah, maybe.

Let him drown that.

That is true.

Yeah, it's like, I don't want to get wet.

Maybe the other guy's like that scene in Breaking Bad, where he just lets that chick drown in her vomit.

Maybe the other guy's like, I'll be number one if I just let you in there.

That's right.

Let me ask you about the.

Oh, sorry.

We got something for you.

Because Adrian asked.

What did I ask for?

That's Ari.

Oh.

Just watch.

Man, what a head.

So I just finished taking what I thought was a dump.

I guess that was emeritus.

It looks like the mushrooms that sprout after you leave dog shit in the ground.

that's what you're living with yeah not all the time do you have you ever have them drained or operated on the rubber bands around them that kill them off nug life

but it didn't take

that's your friend that's your friend

Redben used to go to Apple stores and load that up on all the computers and then walk away

that's funny Did he really?

Yeah

Holy shit.

Look at less fat Joe DeRosa.

How does your shit even make it out?

Has it less fat?

What is Joe fat?

No, he's just worn down.

Oh

Yeah, I guess he's not much fatter than that

I don't know how it makes it out kind of like a maze you kind of kind of go through and out It's kind of like a play-doh factory.

Yeah.

It runs out in certain shapes, so it's shaped like that.

But you could stop getting them if you didn't, if you stopped eating all the spicy food,

right?

Maybe.

Right.

You used to get leakage, too.

You ever get leakage?

I mean, I've had leaky days.

It's just like oil cracks.

Do you make your own tampons?

No.

Oh, buddy.

It's so, it's so crafty.

I'm okay.

You got to get into crafts.

Make your own tampons.

I bet that dude who drinks his own cum, that's a guy who's going to make his own tampons.

Yeah.

How do kids react when they see your face?

They love it.

They love it.

Your son would love it.

yeah i'm sure yeah he's of the age

he'd be like that guy's face yeah i saw a lot of this like staring and then getting their mom without looking at them and just like

you know just pulling the shirt like

and how do homeless black guys react go that's fresh son yeah that's that's it yeah they they're so into it they like it they probably think you're gonna be homeless soon

this is like the start of it word's still out word is still out easily happen yeah of all the comics if someone was like, oh, they're homeless now,

who would you be least surprised by?

Would you be like, no way, but I mean, I couldn't not see it.

No, like, no way.

Howie Mandel.

If he was homeless.

I'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about?

You're a germaphobe.

So many germs there.

But if somebody said, Ari's homeless, I'd be like, where?

What country?

Right.

Yeah.

He just got, he lost all his money on drugs.

Yeah, he's living in Vietnam.

I'm like, yeah, that checks out.

I think you would enjoy that.

I might.

Do you have any big world travel plans?

Yeah, I got to go to Chile.

Yeah, I got to go

travel around there.

Though you're going to Peru.

Yeah, Peru, too.

You're going?

Go all through South America.

Soon?

Yeah.

How long are you going to be?

You always go for like, oh, I mean, I'm not long.

It's just three months.

Yeah, something like that.

Six, eight.

No, it's like a year.

Six or eight months you're going to do it?

He's putting out his special, and then he's going away for years.

I think it's so insane.

I know.

Crazy first.

Yeah, but it's like the one that we were just talking about?

Yeah.

That'll come out in January.

Yeah, and I'll probably leave in June.

So you'll stay six months.

Stay for a while, then just chase the sun down south for a while.

Okay.

I got some for you when you're ready to.

Jesus, bro.

That kind of behavior and language will not be tolerated below the border.

I'll connect you to a few fucking cholos and you'll.

can I meet your like real mom in Chile?

Yeah, sure.

Peru, whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now I got some connects for you.

Really?

Yeah, sure.

Oh, hell yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, having a crewing, like just

don't show up with that face.

What would they do?

It, they, it would just, everyone would not trust him, right?

Yeah, they would be like, yeah, I'm not helping your friend.

You got to beat him, man.

You made me a target.

Yeah.

Yeah.

For sure.

Who's this?

Oh, my God.

It's so hot.

It's so hot.

So.

It's summer already, I guess.

Enjoy life.

Life is a celebration.

There you go.

Why did that need to be said?

Who the fuck is that?

I don't know.

Is that a toupee?

It looks like a toupee.

It's so hot.

Life is a little bit more.

I think he also has color contacts, and right?

He's doing a lot of things.

Yeah.

This is the problem with influencers.

There's like no content, just talking into a camera.

Some filler.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's a lot.

That's Burton four years.

You think so yeah he's got fully got surgery

he's so red have you seen how red he is

he's just so rosy fucking red dude we were in vegas at skank fest and it was it was me him de rosa egot and and uh lean we're all talking about how we never get to hang we'll go through like a shitty casino everyone recognizes him and uh like binions or something he's like oh hey hey and he's complaining he's like uh

you know just for like a tiny bit of money you have to give up your frame like what tiny bit what are you talking about who's saying that's burt and lean's like it's not a tiny bit we're doing quite well.

And then you have to give up your anonymity, he's saying, oh, like he's got a problem.

You're going to get bothered.

Is it even worth it?

And like, yeah, because you do it.

So then we kind of, we lose all our money on craps right away.

We're all sitting in this section, just like talking.

I'll just five of us really hanging out.

It's great.

And then he goes, oh, here's four guys who don't recognize me.

I see them, though, playing craps over there.

I'm going to go make their day.

And he just goes and spends time with him for 30 minutes.

He loves it.

He loves it.

He also is like, nothing's better than being famous.

Yeah.

It's the best.

Says it all the time.

So I don't buy that shit at all.

What do we got?

India?

Who's on the ground?

Oh!

Oh my God.

That's a propane tank, dude.

You alright?

We did the bit.

You good?

I mean, it's just a punish.

It's a crime.

Did I have to get you to talk?

Dude, that's metal.

It's just like, you're not going to tell us where they are.

Look at the little kids watching this.

It's a show, though.

Oh, it's a show.

It's a show.

But he's not alright.

And

you're not going to feel anything, bro.

Let us do it.

Holy shit.

Look how half of the guys who threw it.

He's just like nailed that.

Perfect shot.

Oh, my God, dude.

These guys are thin, too.

When I leave, are you going to say a bad word?

One bad word?

Yeah.

Into here.

But when I leave, you can say it.

Trash, mom.

Yeah.

What's going to say?

Yes.

That's a sweet kid.

She's just teaching him how to do it.

Yeah.

He's talking about his mom.

It's adorable.

That's really cute.

That's super cute.

Oh.

He was so happy.

Yeah.

What a trash mom.

Whenever you see those with that kind of British accent, you're like...

I didn't even know what accent that was.

I hate accents.

You hate accents?

It's disgusting.

how do you have any accent is disgusting any accent

i only like america yeah

america has disgusting accents too i only like new york that's it

you are the real new yorker you

will you ever leave new york

probably not

i hate it so much you hate it's the worst place i've ever been new york

and that's why you won't leave

where else am i gonna go because is it is it kind of like i feel like i deserve this No, I just feel like I've lived there my whole life.

Where am I going to?

I don't like I always you gotta go somewhere.

I know, but I don't know.

I why don't you use the um

I don't know the special to just be like your

you know move to Austin catalyst for doing something different.

Maybe he's trying to get me to move here.

Why wouldn't you?

It's too fun.

I don't like flying roaches that you guys have.

Yeah.

Me and him staying in the Airbnb.

We were there a while ago.

Yeah, there was like one bug.

Not true.

We come, and it's a really nice place.

We come home.

There's a bug in the bathroom this fucking big.

So I go and get him.

I'm like,

I'm not going to stay here.

He kills it.

We come back the next day.

There's just more of them.

I'm not going to stay here because there was a bug.

Okay.

One bug is five.

It was a beautiful place.

It was a beautiful place.

The bug was this fucking big.

The next day we come back.

There's more of them.

They're in the kitchen.

He also leaves a bunch of food open.

So they just have a.

Well, I wonder if that has anything to do with it.

Okay, Mike.

And then the other people we were with, they were like, yeah, I woke up with one in my bed.

I go, oh, I'm going to actually just leave.

And they were like, sure, you're going to leave.

And I went and got myself and went to a hotel.

1 a.m.

She just left.

I don't care.

I like it.

She just takes off.

I don't know where you're going.

I'd rather get r than deal with bugs.

One r

over a lifetime of bugs I would deal with.

I can't deal with bugs.

That's how much I hate it.

I'm not saying it's good.

No, it's not good.

It's bad, but that's how much I hate bugs.

Bugs are worse.

There's no therapy for bugs.

There's no therapy for bugs.

No.

There's plenty of already experts on how to answer.

So you've got the support system in place.

So if somebody threatened you with bugs, you'd be like, just take me.

But now at this point,

I've already had to deal with so many bugs, it feels like it wouldn't be fair.

Yeah.

To add that to the bugs.

Right.

Unless I would never see any for the rest of my life.

Then you'd be okay.

I wouldn't be okay.

I would just deal with it.

I would get through it.

Yeah.

We're like, I'm joking.

We were just like, we didn't see a butt in our bed.

But I seen them in the kitchen.

Yeah.

Yeah, no.

Horrible.

I wouldn't sleep.

I would stay up all night.

He's got to be the worst house guest.

I would be horrified to have you stay.

You ever seen me naked?

Yeah, I've seen you naked.

Yeah.

It's not even like sexual.

No.

How does it register?

It's just like, it's like seeing a psychological.

It's like seeing your kid get naked.

You're like, put your clothes on.

Yeah.

Stop it.

Do you have kids?

No.

No.

You ever have an abortion?

No.

Jesus.

I thought I was going to have one, but I didn't.

I got my period.

Oh, you're like, oh, thank God.

God came through.

God.

In the end, God came through.

A lot came through.

I may have paid for.

I paid for one.

Another one was just done without me.

Didn't want any refund or anything.

She didn't want a refund?

She just told me like, hey, three years ago I had an abortion.

Insurances pay, they cover it.

A lot of people.

For the woman, not for the man.

I had to pay for one and I was to try to get insurance.

Like, you're not the patient.

How much was it?

$400.

That's not bad.

That's the going rate.

Worth it.

That's the rate.

I used to work at a place that did them.

Like just like a private business?

Well, it was an OBGYN office, and then they also did abortions.

Nice.

Yeah.

That's got to be like the funnest part of the job.

What was it like working with Ari on the special?

Ari's actually very autistic and great.

Yeah.

Like in the special, he's like very focused.

He cares about everything nobody else cares about.

Like he wanted to get as many seats in there.

Like he is very autistic.

Yeah.

He thinks about stuff no one else is thinking about.

And what about from because sometimes

I think it's easy with specials to kind of go like, I don't care who's directing, but yours was directed by Louis.

Like, was there, I don't know, what was that experience like for you?

I mean, I've worked with Louis for years.

Sure.

yeah, and I also went to Europe with him.

We went to the UK and stuff.

I just trusted him.

Like, I do think he's like amazing at what he does.

So, I did trust him.

And my one concern was, like, I didn't really want to see the seller sign.

Um, so he we extended the stage by six inches and shut the sign off.

And, like, I don't really move a lot on stage, so I stood pretty close to the front.

So, it does feel different than some of the other specials.

And the lighting was really beautiful.

It looks so cool.

It does look really cool.

And everyone's like, Can we get that lighting in here?

So, like, I do trust him.

He knows what he's doing.

Yeah.

Um, and I am really glad that, like, the both, I mean, this would have never happened without Ari, though.

So,

yeah, he's been like my biggest supporter.

So, that's why I have, you know, I just, one day I'm going to have to just defend something atrocious that he does.

And I know that.

Now it's coming up.

It's coming up.

The shitting on the stage is not it either.

No.

Like, that's, I don't know what it is.

It'll be something.

I'll need you to let me open for you.

I'll at at some point be like, hey, remember when I helped you?

Yeah.

I'm fucked.

I know.

I have no income source.

I'm not homeless.

I just got back to the stage.

And I'm going to just be like, sure.

Sure, you did something terrible, but sure.

You can do it.

Yeah, Louis was cool to work with, too, because it's like, where should we do it?

Where should we do it?

We thought about the mothership, like be easy there.

And then he was like, I don't want to go there for that long.

Also, like, are you really comfortable there?

And he goes, why don't we do this cellar where you're comfortable?

Yeah, I mean, that is like my home club.

And that's where I'm the most comfortable.

Yeah.

A lot of people do it in the VU, which is much larger, but like I like a small, intimate room.

Yeah, low ceiling.

That's the coolest room in New York.

It is very cool.

Especially late night.

You can do jokes about like drugs and ODs and anything, any sort of felching.

And they're just like,

we're already here with you on gross.

On gross.

We can keep going.

I'm proud of it, though, and I think it would be nice to get like an audience because I've just been touring and like people are just showing up and some know what I do and some don't.

And I mean, I've had lots of people people walk out.

Yeah.

You opened for me on

a full tour

for a while, on a June tour.

And it was like always like people didn't know you, but they were always like, hey, who was that lady?

But those would be like my fans, though.

You know, I've also opened for Pat and Oswald.

And like some of those people would love me and then some of them were like not happy.

Yeah.

But that means you're doing something interesting also.

You know what I mean?

Like, I guess.

I think that if everybody loves you.

If Pat and Louie and me can be like, I need you to like start the show.

You're doing something right.

You're doing something right.

I guess.

I want to see if your JDAR goes off on this.

Okay.

What's up?

What's up?

Do you speak Arabic?

No.

English?

English.

Nice to meet you.

What's up?

What's up?

What's up?

What's going on?

Nothing.

But then, you guys need help?

Yes.

What do you need help with?

I need to.

Why reach into the car?

Drive away.

He's just trying to.

What What happened?

Huh?

What happened?

The car's okay?

Brother, me, I'm from Dubai, Arabia.

I'm trying to.

What happened?

I need to help you make gas problem.

What happened?

Me today, I put my wallet in the top.

I driving, I'm lost, my debbie, my credit, my money, everything.

Okay.

I'm not from here.

I'm from Dubai, Los Angeles.

Dubai, Los Angeles.

Okay.

Look, please.

No, no, it's fine.

It's fine.

But tell me, what happened?

Help me some money, gas, for go home.

I lost my money, my credit, Debbie card, you lost everything.

I give you my ring gold, anti-charots for your deposit.

I need to help you, my American money, gas, for go home, brother.

Okay, alhamdulillah.

Do you know you're a scammer?

You know you're a scammer, right?

Fuck you.

I know, I know, you scammer.

I immediately know he's caught.

Oh, good.

What?

With that car?

I don't help anybody.

No.

No, nobody.

Nope.

That's also because of a New York life.

Maybe, but I just don't trust anyone.

Somebody comes up to you, excuse me, help me.

I've had that so many times, by the way.

I've been at a gas pump, and somebody goes, can you help me out?

I fell for it once in Maryland.

With what you did?

I need help.

I got to see my kid.

I'm sorry, all right, here's $10

when I needed it.

Yeah.

Man.

Really?

That's really nice.

No, it was a fucking fool's move.

It was, but.

It was, but it was because it was still nice.

You ever have the one where the guy bumps into you and drops a bunch of food?

Nope.

And goes, oh, fuck.

Yeah, I just found that one.

And you stopped to help them.

And they're like, oh, I'm so sorry.

Drops this, this thing comes out.

Food goes over.

And goes, fuck, that was my dinner.

Oh, well, boy.

Yeah, I was with somebody and I was like, let's go.

And they're like, no, I got to help them.

Like, let's go.

It's an obvious.

First of all, he just happened to bump into you with a Tupperware that wasn't sealed.

And it's just slices of bread.

So just eat it.

Eat it.

Eat it, dude.

Eat it.

Eat the fucking straight bread off the floor.

Yeah, that's all you were eating anyway.

Exactly.

I can get you some more bread if you want, man.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Get you six more slices of plain bread.

Yeah, I saw a

schizo guy in the like a little sandwich shop.

Yeah.

And some guy was like,

hey, man,

what do you want?

I'll get you something.

And the guy was like, oh,

yeah, I wanted coffee and

like this sandwich.

He's like, I got it.

So he pays for it.

And I watched the guy take the coffee and I watched him empty like 18 packs of sugar, like one by one, into it.

And I'm like, that's a lot of sugar, right?

Like just over.

And I'm like,

fucking nuts.

He empties them, stirs it up.

And then they're like, what do you want on this sandwich?

And he's like telling them, he's like, I don't want that fucking shit.

He starts just like screaming, just losing his mind, like just going fucking crazy.

And I was like, cool.

This is what you get buying the sandwich.

One time I did buy a girl.

She was in a parking.

I was parking in New York City.

And New York City is so hard to find parking she was standing in this spot that i wanted to park in right she was like oh i

i just came back from the hospital my boyfriend beat me i'm pregnant with twins i went and bought her like a sam i mean i spent like 18 i was like and then somebody else asked me for more money i was like go get it from that lady yeah

she just i already gave her nope no baby form was a big one they asked for baby for because they could trade that in for a lot of money yeah remember we saw we were having a coffee we saw some guy in the middle of the road a car behind him honking he was just slowly walking yes in the middle wouldn't move but the car also wouldn't go around wouldn't go around and he was just like it was like a parade just blaring the horn and the guy was like he was mentally unwell though

normal west village he was homeless yeah

i think the one one guy i'll see their techniques one guy will like in front of the seller will lay down and cry on the street like he'd just fallen

and then but then if like steve or somebody's like buddy not today they go all right and he gets up and walks they do that.

Yeah.

I heard one, somebody was shutting down a Judd Appetal movie just by screaming when he was doing maybe the Pete Holmes show.

And he was just screaming.

And they're like, what, what, what?

Stop.

Like, he's like, well, I'm allowed to scream.

He just screamed.

Like, what do you need?

He's like, give me $2.

We could have gotten way more.

So much more.

Yeah.

$2.

That's great.

There was a black homeless guy, and he came up to us and we didn't give him money.

And he's like, you guys are all racist.

And we're like,

well, we're definitely not going to give you money now.

Yeah.

You just, yeah.

Also,

yeah, but not from from this.

Yeah, we also don't know before I met you.

So white homeless.

Yeah.

How about the guy with the bloody hand who's always wanting high fives?

You just catch people coming out of the cellar and then you start to do it.

And then it's like, it's always a bloody hand.

I've

walked out of a 7-Eleven and the guy was sitting there.

And I was like, all right.

And then he reaches up to get the money.

And his hand is just so gross.

Yeah.

So I'm like, I go, no, no, no, no, no.

Like, don't, don't reach out with your thing.

Just let me drop it.

You know, so

It's like Plinko.

And it just kind of floats down.

7-Eleven is their headquarters.

Yeah.

It's where they all meet.

Yeah, you don't want to be fucking 7-Eleven.

Toto Eleven's disgusting.

Unless you're in Tokyo.

Fuck.

Then they're nice.

The cleanest, most amazing.

Like, you're like, this doesn't exist where we live.

Like,

the toilet has a total washlet.

What?

There's a toilet at 7-Eleven?

Like, in a pristinely clean bathroom.

Unbelievable.

Like every day you'd be like, You want to go take a shit at 7-Eleven?

Like that.

Wow.

Wow, you can't do that here.

No, you can't.

Waunch in Philadelphia has blacklights, so people can't find their veins.

That's pretty smart.

Yeah.

So they'll stop shooting up.

Yeah.

That's hilarious.

How do you expense that?

Like, let's just get it.

You can't lose somebody else.

What is this?

Hold on.

Oh, boy.

This guy means business.

Trinkostillo.

Oh.

Oh, he's going to work out.

Oh, no.

Please, dude.

This guy's rat.

Oh.

Okay.

Oh, great.

Okay, just nice workout.

That's nice.

Oh, so some of these videos are nice.

They're pleasant.

That's a great video.

That's the whole video?

I think so.

I don't know what to do.

It's a real misdirect.

He has a lot of stuff in his room.

He does got a lot of stuff in his room.

On the floor.

One time a guy sent me a video of a dick pic, and it was like that kind of.

He had a bunch of stuff everywhere.

Like, you think we're only focusing your dick.

Yeah, and you're like, this is a room.

No, there's a lot of stuff on the floor.

Yeah, he's mad because I'm not.

You mentioned going over to that place.

No.

I stopped talking to that guy.

He told me that he used to be addicted to heroin, and I was like, okay.

He's like, but I'm clean now.

And then he was like, but I have roommates.

And I was like, I can't.

The roommates was the longest.

Yeah,

that room was not that bad.

Do you use apps?

Are you on the apps?

Yes, but I'm getting off of them.

Really?

It's just

garbage.

Where's how many are you on?

I'll be on all of them and then I'll do one at a time.

And then I'll just go off of that.

Are you on Raya?

No, I can't get on.

But now you can.

Why?

You're a good inviter?

No, I'm saying because special's going to be.

So yeah, yeah, you can invite your Raya.

Somebody can, you have to, I think, get recommended by somebody on there.

You have to get recommended.

Be a higher level dick.

Use the cams when you go to the much better dick.

Cleaner apartments.

Yeah, I hope so.

You've fucked some you're a good producer.

We should make this happen for sure.

I'm on Araya.

Yeah, but you can facilitate that.

I can find somebody who can get on there.

I absolutely can.

Do it for her.

Oh, boy.

That wasn't even worth it.

Yes, it was.

It was a pleasant, it was a nice change of paste fart.

It was a nice one.

It was like a sound effect fart.

It was.

But it wasn't like a good one.

It wasn't like a hot beat.

It wasn't a hot one, but that's an unexpected one.

You make a guy wear a condom when you fuck?

Yeah, why wouldn't I?

I mean, unless I'm like with them for a while and they're my boyfriend.

Yeah.

Reasonable answer.

Oh, God.

Wafting it to you.

Sorry.

Are you seeing someone now?

I think so.

Someone's watching my dog, so I think so.

Oh.

That's a great way to get a guy involved.

I mean, he offered to watch my dog.

I was like, sure, I'll save $700.

Yeah.

Who knows if we'll be talking when this comes out?

That's true.

We'll We'll see.

Has he seen the act?

You ever have somebody who's like, I'm done with you after they act?

I did talk to one guy for a bit, and then he asked me what I was on.

I let him see my degenerate thing, and then we never met up.

But also, when I called, when I was on the phone with him, I didn't realize he lived with his mom.

Like, he said, mom.

I was like, dude, you're 48?

48 with his mom?

Fuck.

The gall to even ask anyone out.

That's disgusting.

You should be fucking your mom.

My mom?

That guy.

It's the only acceptable place if you're living with her.

Have you ever had friends?

Yes.

That

are like, oh, I did stand up.

And then you find out they're doing shows with your mom?

Yes.

Yeah.

I definitely, yeah.

Is she a regular?

I've had people that meet my mom and they're like, your mom is so nice.

And I'm like, that's fake.

You don't know her like you know her.

Yeah, that's not like, if I had her as a mom, I probably wouldn't do stand-up.

Yeah.

You do have her as a mom.

But I'm saying like if I had that version of her as my mother growing up,

yeah, I probably wouldn't be doing this.

Wow.

And she brought you to the first mic you did.

She did.

Did you, were you expressing interest?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I had wanted to do Saturday Night Live, and then she was like, well, you have to do stand-up.

And I was like, okay, I never wanted to even do stand-up as a kid.

That was never my thing.

And then I started doing it and I just fell in love with it.

But you just saw her and you're like,

I could do that.

No, I never wanted to do stand-up.

I wanted to, like, I guess be on SNL.

Yeah, sketches and stuff.

Yeah, stuff like that.

Do you still have an interest in that?

I don't know.

Not really.

No.

I mean, I wouldn't turn it down.

But I also think it's pretty bad, the show.

Pretty bad.

Sometimes, you know, they have.

Like, I watch, here's the thing.

I don't watch the show regularly.

I watched when Nate hosted.

Yeah.

I thought his show was fantastic.

Like, it was really funny.

Yeah, Nate's great.

Yeah.

I watched Shane's.

I haven't seen one of these.

I saw Shane's too, and that was really, really good.

But it's like all the jokes are like, here's the setup, the punchline, and then we're just going to retell that same punchline five or six times until it's about milked.

And then we're done.

The other thing I try, I mean, I get sometimes I try to think in terms of the fact that like they're pumping this out once a week, week, turning it over the next week.

Like, you're going to have

you have to miss hard, but then they'll have some that hit hard, you know.

Going to it's pretty great.

I've never seen it.

Oh, you see the moving piece, see all the stage hands setting up a stage while another one's going on, and it's like the live part you really notice.

Like, whoa, what a production.

It really gets cool when you're there.

That's cool.

Some of the things are pretty funny, but then some of it you're like, no.

Yeah, yeah, I agree.

And I guess you're right.

Yeah, it's just, it's a tough, that's a tough task, man, to like, but week after week.

anytime you hear somebody say that's a tough task it's because they're failing nobody says that about tom brady that's tough you know trying to run a team and but imagine if it's like right it's it's it's sort of like the write and act a week kind of thing you know it's i mean obviously it's with a group but it's still it's a it's a huge undertaking yeah i wonder how much stuff gets pitched and they're like no no so much

stuff that could be really funny but they're like it's too offensive and then they have stuff cut at the dress rehearsal so they have dress rehearsal and they're like oh my thing's on.

And they're like, nope, it's off now.

There was one with Shane that they showed later, a cut one that was like, that was funnier than the other sketches.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Would you do it?

I would do it, for sure.

Come on in.

I do.

We can have a pussy.

Did he say, come get this pussy?

Oh, what a setup.

Come on in if you got some pussy.

If you got some pussy.

He was so suave.

He was like, ha ha ha, I'm all right, buddy.

Come on.

Oh, look, look, look, look, look.

He's hurt.

Did you ever watch that video, the girl Pearl dancing?

No, she's singing on a table and she falls.

I feel like I've seen that.

Who is that?

Some lady.

This is.

Oh, I saw that recently.

Pearl, and then she falls, and she's like,

Is it the lady waiting?

No, the

grape somp?

No.

No, a different one.

Yeah, Pearl singing.

Pearl singing.

If you go on YouTube, Pearl takes a fur fall, I think, or something.

Oh,

Facebook.

Does that hurt?

No, she's a...

Oh.

Oh,

that fucking hurt.

That definitely hurt.

Hmm.

Well,

maybe it got to take it off.

That's incredible when someone can scrub that shit.

I mean, I doubt it.

No, it's not a cartoon.

This is a lot of just searching.

Would you, you would host SNL.

You wouldn't be on the show.

Oh, yeah.

yeah.

But I would, you wouldn't host?

I'd host once.

It's fun.

That's how it seems like

super fun, yeah.

I would Scarlett.

I messed her name up.

Scarlett takes a tumble.

Scarlett takes a tumble.

I don't know why her name was Pearl.

I'll get up my favorite meme that Adrian sent me.

Oh, boy.

Here we go.

Oh, I can't help

but think.

That's a big lady, too.

I don't know why she gets on the table.

Oh, you could hear the table going, don't do this this to us.

It's not.

You can win.

I'm so confident as the things you're feeling good.

Oh, now she's dancing.

You can hear the creaking.

The creaking is starting.

The table's like, lady, we're letting you know.

This is going to end poorly.

No, no, don't go to the f ⁇ ing.

Oh.

Oh.

It's almost funny when they don't make a noise.

Yeah, silence.

Check it out.

I don't know why she posts this video.

It's the slamming under the side.

Oh, that hurts.

I don't know why you would still post that.

Yeah.

Well, she posted a version of it.

Who knows why?

Oh, and then the internet gets a hold of it.

Yeah.

It's over.

One of my favorite movies.

Ones I fall.

I actually never post it.

Have I ever shown you this one?

Adrian Sentinel, and I just love it.

It's the most, I just love it.

It's so good.

Yeah, I've seen that.

That's good.

It's the best.

That's good.

You know, people will be like, hey, what's that meme?

Ari won't tell me what the meme is.

Yeah, that can't go out.

Isn't that funny that that

in

our circle of life, you just go like, yeah, it's funny, but like that is like the end of you.

That's

it.

That now becomes like your accounts taken down.

It's like there's nothing that's weird.

It's like, but I find it funny.

I'm enjoying it.

And hopefully,

Adrian's account gets taken down shortly after today.

Her special, The Dark Queen, is out on Netflix.

If you have not yet seen it, one of the funniest people working today.

Facts.

Congratulations.

Thank you so much.

There's a world of hatred coming to you, and we are excited for you.

Thank you.

Are you going to be touring after it?

Like, are you going on a tour right after it?

Or are you back to it?

It's Cleveland.

Yeah, I have a couple of days.

I'm going to go on tour with you in January.

February.

Are you building?

Are you ready to go?

You're building a new hour?

I'm building.

Yeah.

I probably have like 25.

Yeah.

This is kind of the fun time again.

Because 25, you know, like, oh, I can do it again.

It's not like when you have your new three and you're like, I don't know if I could do this again.

I don't know if I could do it again.

It's so hard.

But honestly, congratulations.

I'm very happy for you.

I'm not sure.

I'm excited

that it's happening.

You're so funny.

I'm just excited.

People are finally going to see it.

Yeah, that's what's going to happen.

So many people are going to see it.

And then You Be Tripping, Ari Shafir's podcast that we produce, that you put out every Monday.

Travel stories, right?

Yeah, I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it.

I think we said we'll get together in December and do it.

That'd be fun.

I love it.

Okay.

Thank you both for coming.

Buddy.

Nice to see you.

Always good to see you.

Keeping the fat off.

Trying, man.

You can tell, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fucking.

I should say something smarmy now, but.

No, no.

Way to go.

Eating well.

Yeah.

Training.

I'm going to be naked soon on camera.

Really?

Yeah.

And I have to shave.

You got to drink on comp.

Oh, what?

I haven't shaved my face.

You know, you have half a face shaving?

Yeah.

I have to shave my whole face.

Start one half.

Hey, buddy, I know I told you, like, like, it seems in passing and it's like a joke and you've always been supportive, but, like, legitimately, I really want to do that clapping thing one day.

They're like, Tom Segura's new show, scene four, take five, just like whatever.

Okay.

With the clapper.

You can do that.

Okay, but don't forget about me.

All right.

Okay.

Okay.

You can do it.

I promise.

Okay.

I mean, we start shooting in a week.

Where?

Here in Austin.

And we're shooting until mid-November.

All right.

Let me see if I can stop in somewhere.

Oh, wow.

See?

Yeah.

Are you like,

thinking of getting?

Don't forget about me.

No, I'll fly out and do it.

You got to get a Southwest ticket.

I wish I'm a frontier baby.

Whoa.

All right.

Now, you guys are the best.

Thank you.

We'll see you guys next week.

The banana plantation.

This feels special.

That's a good one.

That's that's that's that's that's that's

Yep, Doctor Ty, Doctor Trumpet, Doctor Pi, Doctor Trumpet, Doctor Pi, Doctor Trumpet, Doctor Pi, Doctor Trumpet, Trumpet,

Trumpet,

Trumpet,

Trumpet

I can

see the joy in your face.

This feels special.

It does.

That's that.

That's that.

That's a good one.

That's that's that's that's that's that's a good one.

That's that's that's that's that's that's

it

dumped it back in

dump it back to what

it dumped it back to what

it dumped it down

Hey, you just watched an episode of your mom's house.

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Look, I don't know.

Replace them in like cubes or squares or whatever this is.

Just click another one.

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