A Message From Our New President w/ Special Appearance by Donnell Rawlings | YMH Ep. 784

Well, welcome.

Welcome to your mom's house.

Welcome to another episode of Your Mom's House.

It is great to be back in studio.

We have been working hard outside of here.

It's always fun to come back.

This is my most favorite thing that we do.

It is so much fun.

Yes, we raise family.

Yes, we

marital love.

Way better than all the stuff we do together.

And having a family?

This is so much more fun.

So boring.

That's so much more fun.

You don't technically need this car.

You say that out loud to yourself.

You say, I have no space.

You say, eh, I'm just looking.

Then you click.

Then you zoom in on photo number 87 and whisper, oh no.

Then you text a friend, the one who always enables you.

You say to yourself, this is the last one, knowing it is not.

You don't need this car.

But maybe, just maybe, this car needs you.

Bring a trailer.

It's never just a car.

Or work.

So much and so tiring.

So tire all the time.

If you were like, we want to swap out family for more podcasts, it'd be like, absolutely.

Absolutely.

Fucking killer, man.

Yeah, dog.

Congratulations to the new president of the United States.

Good luck.

Anyway.

Anyway,

so much going on.

So much has happened since we've been in here.

There's a lot to cover.

We've just been very busy.

I've been working on my series.

I know.

So I've been in production.

It's been nice having you home.

I have to say that.

It's been very nice.

I've been thrilled.

I haven't had a time off the road like this, like where I'm still working, but not in that capacity in a long time.

I know you're a traveling salesman for a living.

I travel all the time.

And this is really nice to be shooting in Austin.

Oh, my gosh.

You know, and like getting to go to work, like sleep in your own bed, get up in the morning, go to work, come back.

Take a shit.

Yeah, I always shit.

And I will say, and I've said this to Agent Jeans and to the executives that came to visit your set the day I was there, that I have never seen you this happy.

Yeah.

Ever, truly.

And I really hope you continue to make television or film or whatever it is because

you work these 12-hour days, 14-hour days.

six, seven days a week, and you come home and you're thrilled.

Yeah.

And you're never complaining and you're never like upset.

And I have to say, I don't want to, I'm not going to talk about what the show is,

but I think this is the culmination of 20 years of you in comedy.

I think it is by far the greatest thing you've done creatively because it's all the things you wanted to put into a project.

And I'm so stoked for people to see it.

And I think it's going to be huge.

I think people are really going to love it.

Well, that remains to be seen, but I will say that I am having a really good time.

And I do find it really fulfilling.

Like it really is creatively fulfilling.

It's so much fun to have been a part of developing this thing, writing it, and now producing and acting.

And then I got to direct some too, which I'd never been able to.

You know, what's great is you're an actor, director, writer,

producer, choreographer.

You know what I'm saying?

I dance and shit.

I DJ, you know what I mean?

And

just like, I'm a multi-hyphenate.

You know what I'm saying?

You are that guy now.

Yeah.

But you legit are.

And I will say that I got to watch you direct.

I came to set.

Yep.

And I was like, this is where my jeans should have always been.

This is the perfect pair of jeans for you.

It is pretty nice.

I'm thrilled that you found it.

It was fun.

And I know, you know, I took advantage of the fact that it's my show.

And I was like, I've always wanted to direct.

Because I knew if I was like, hey, can you get me a directing job?

Everyone would be like, no.

So on this one, I was like, hey, I want to direct some.

And they were like.

Okay.

So I just took advantage of it.

And that's how you do it.

Yeah.

And that's how you do it, kids.

You build the opportunity for yourself.

I think that was brilliant of you.

It was exciting.

You're a brilliant man, Somsager.

I'm glad I married you.

You're the one.

You're the winner.

I'm glad I married you too, Gene.

Really?

Thank you.

Of course.

There's so much to we really have a lot to cover today.

There's so much, dude.

That I feel like we should just get into it.

Can we get into it?

I'd love to.

I've got a lot to share.

Let's keep it presidential for the opening.

Here we go.

Yeah.

Mr.

Hager?

Yes, sit.

Joe, Hager.

Y'all made me some real lightweight slacks

and they're real lightweight.

Now, I need about six pairs for summer wear.

Now, the pockets, when you sit down in the chair, the knife and your money comes out, so I needed at least another inch in the pockets.

Now, another thing, the crotch down where your nuts hang is always a little too tight.

It's just like riding a wire fence.

When I gain a little weight, they cut me under there.

So, let's see if you can't leave me about an inch from where the zipper

ends

around under my back to my bung bunghole.

Awesome.

If you get those coming, I would sure be grateful.

Where would you like your bed, please?

Whitehouse?

This shit is big time.

Who is random?

Don't bring anyone mother into this.

Don't mind me the fucking stamp.

Welcome to your mom's house

with Tom Segura.

Tom Suzukura.

And Christina Pajitsi, Christina Pajitzi.

Welcome to your mom's house.

President Johnson.

I didn't know I liked him so much.

Yeah.

You know what I like when he's like, back to my buttonhole.

Yeah.

But I know what he's talking about.

That line that goes, it goes, it cuts under my cooch sometimes, too.

And I hate it.

Imagine if you had a pair of nuts down there.

Dude.

Well, you might soon.

Right?

Well, are you considering it?

I am considering it.

Now that I've had the double mastectomy, I do have implants, but I could go flat and I could go through with the hormones and everything and be the man I've always wanted to be.

Could be.

It's just a matter of who you are and who you want to be.

Can't wait.

The cool thing about Johnson is, first of all,

proud Texan.

We're happy to have you, sir.

Yeah, he was known to like, he called his penis jumbo, and he would show it to people.

And

he also, I think he had a shower head installed in the White House for his asshole.

He was like, I need something to wash my asshole out.

That's what we believe in.

Yeah.

Pretty cool guy.

I'd be voting for him today.

Pretty cool.

I like that he belched on that call.

So do I.

Yeah.

He is a manager.

Sure, be grateful.

Where do you want to send him?

White House?

It sounds just like

the guy that maintains the yard.

Yeah.

Calling for it.

You're like, who is that?

Oh, that's the president.

The belch was a tad disrespectful.

He just was.

I mean,

yes, I make phone calls on the toilet as I'm peeing and shitting, but I don't burp into the phone with Brendan or the merch guy.

Pretty crazy, man.

Speaking of presidents, we actually got

a message from our president.

So why don't we just go ahead and take a look at that before we go any further?

Welcome back, Christine.

I'm glad you're feeling better.

I love you and Tom together.

You guys are so,

so hot.

Thank you guys so, so much for making me the president.

I had so much fun with you guys, like watching the special needs chefs and then fat people at Disney.

Oh, and then what was that guy's name?

Duncan.

Duncan with the P.

I'm already so hard at work, you guys, being the president.

I think what the podcast needs and the office is sexy.

Those little clips that you guys do, it's way sexier.

And then why don't you guys just play videos of like cactus?

We need it.

I think that's what's going to make it thrive.

I think that's what the viewers want.

So yeah.

Anyway, new Christine, new president, signing off.

That's fucking crazy.

I never thought of that.

What does she Videos of sexy?

Sexier stuff, first of all, which makes sense.

We should have sexier content.

And then cactus stuff, which we'd never even, we've never discussed.

What do you mean cactus stuff?

I don't know.

Like the plant, like cactus.

Is that what she's saying?

I don't even understand what that is.

There's videos here for us to play, I guess, that she flagged.

This is for all the cactus-loving content people out there.

This is my newest cactus.

I picked it up for $7 the other day.

I believe this is the blue candle cactus, and I just realized I've said cactus like three times already.

How can I like this thing?

It is super cool.

Like look at that.

It's just yeah it's pretty sweet.

Has all these little thorns or spines.

They're pretty pokey.

Gotta watch out for them.

I just repotted it in this terracotta pot.

The soil that it came in was really not good.

It wasn't a well-draining soil, so I put it in a new cactus mix.

It's got lots of perlite and it's just a well-draining mix.

Now I want this to be in my self-facing window, but I can't just put it right there in full sun.

Otherwise, it's probably going to get a little bit of burn.

So, I'm going to put it off to the corner here.

Oh, very good.

I'll give it a little bit of morning direct sunlight, but I think it'll do well in the spot.

And then, once it acclimates to this location, then I'll put it in full sun.

But otherwise, I think that's me it.

Thanks for watching.

See ya.

That's fucking cool, man.

I didn't, first of all, I never knew that if you put it in direct sun, you could burn it.

There's a cactus.

Doesn't it live in direct sun?

Why are you being

so stupid?

This is stupid.

We're not going to put cactus, cactus, hot, cacti in the office.

Is that what she wants us to do?

And inform the audience about it, yeah.

Oh, my God.

This is such a dummy, dummy idea.

No, it's not.

It's just a dummy, Tom.

Do you guys think it's dumb?

No, definitely not.

Not really.

No.

Okay.

I'm pretty engaged, I'm not going to lie.

That was a pretty cool fact.

It's not cool.

It is.

I wanted to know about more about cactuses.

It's pretty cool.

Yeah, but he does.

Today, I'm going to show you how to water a cactus.

This is my blue candle cactus, and it's just soaking up all that extra spring sunlight.

Down here is a pincushion cushion cactus, it's got these beautiful pink blooms right now.

It looks absolutely gorgeous.

First thing you want to look for is to make sure that the soil is absolutely bone dry, and sometimes you might even see a little bit of wrinkling on the plant, like this one.

That just means it's dehydrated and it needs a good thorough watering.

Don't be scared to give these plants a lot of water as long as they're in an appropriate soil, as well as a terracotta pot with a drain hole, then you shouldn't be able to overwater these.

You can see there's a little bit of kind of bubbling here, it's just dry air pockets.

So, I'm going to keep giving it water until the

that's how you do it so thoroughly saturated until it comes

thoroughly saturated i do have another one here as well same thing it's in a cactus what's gonna do it's in a plastic pot but it does have drain holes so i'm just gonna let that drain through until it comes out the bottom sometimes you might even have to let it soak in a container just so it uh can get saturated otherwise that's all you do thanks for watching see y'all well i could tell you right now speaking for the audience they're gonna want a lot more of this so i would um this is so dumb because nobody wants more cactus content.

He's not even sharing actual information about the cactus.

He just showed us, first of all, how to manage sunlight and how to water it.

Like five times the same information over and over.

It's very

audience gets it, guys.

I don't think they get it.

Oh my God.

So pull a lot more cactus videos.

Will do.

And also a huge thank, obviously, to our president, New Christine.

President's stupid tits.

You know, her tits are big and fake, too.

I can make tits like that, too.

Big fucking deal.

I can buy them.

When you get like this, it's so unattractive.

What are you talking about?

Just let her fucking guide us.

Oh, my God.

Thank you, New Christine.

And thank you for your guidance.

It's really rude.

This is rude.

You know what?

This brings me to my first topic I would like to discuss, Tom.

I watched a Megan Fox movie,

Subservience.

Subservient.

It's a spoiler alert what I'm about to say, okay, guys?

But see if you can tell where this is headed.

It's Megan Megan Fox, who's a big fat dog, ugly, yucky.

Yucky.

Um, is it a good movie?

I'll tell you that in a minute.

But here's the deal: man:

it's a Megan Fox robot that you can hire to live in your house and take care of your kids and do your laundry and cook and clean.

What do you think is going to happen to the alone guy, single dad, who has the Megan Fox robot in the house?

What do you think is going to happen?

I think his pee-pee is going to grow at some point.

Does it?

Spoiler alert,

he fucks her.

And his wife,

His wife's in the hospital and he's lonely.

Yeah.

Why is she in the hospital?

It's a fantasy.

She needs a heart transplant.

Oh, boy.

I know.

So it's heavy, right?

Yeah.

And he's all sad because he's super horny.

And like his fucking wife's being all lazy in the hospital with her heart stuff.

He's probably grieving, too.

I mean, cut him a little fucking slack.

Yeah, he's grieving.

And he's horny.

Yeah, of course.

He doesn't know how to deal with the emotions of the trauma.

Oh.

And so.

Sometimes they channel through you differently, you know?

Through your peanut?

Sure.

And then you're like, oh, fuck, there's a robot here.

Exactly.

And not only that, a Megan Fox robot.

And she's like, she's all like Tom.

She's all like, I want what you want.

Whatever you want makes me happy.

I serve you.

And so his boner grows and grows.

And then one day, dude, he fucking busts nuts in her.

And then what do you think happens?

There's a baby robot growing inside of her.

No, the wife finds out.

How?

So she's getting her heart fucking transplanted?

She did.

She gets a dumb baboon heart or whatever.

She comes home.

She's like,

and then the robot overrides her programming and becomes kind of a

she's all, that's my family now, bitch.

Like, come on, we saw that coming.

Okay.

Anyways, so the fucking wife finds out.

Yeah.

And she's all, she's all put that fucking robot in the basement.

So then now Megan Fox is downstairs in the basement.

Husband comes home.

He's like, what's up, babe?

She's like, you tell me.

You fucked the robot.

You fucked Megan

Stop.

That's okay.

So I was kind of like,

big deal.

Big diff.

It's basically like a dildo with a personality and a hot face.

Is it cheating?

I mean, it's a robot.

Is it, I mean, that's, okay, do you think the, what is it called?

What's those like fuck sleeves that people?

That's what I was thinking about.

What are they called?

Flashlights.

If your flashlight had a personality and like a hot face on it, does that change the nature of the masturbation?

I mean, I guess it changes it in that it's you're

you're upping the game right it's like it's becoming more real to your brain right which then does it become cheating if you fuck a sex robot and then I started thinking because it's it's got serious philosophical implications no it does it does it does yeah would it be cheating if I had like you know those life-size

flesh dolls that these pervert guys get and they're heavy as shit she's this one's 200 pounds and she just like lays it on the couch and fucks it and then puts her vagina in the dishwasher to clean it out.

What if I had a fuck robot, Carl, and he's in the closet?

Yeah.

And I was like, all right, Tom, I'm just going to go fuck Carl.

I'll be right back.

Yeah.

It's first of all.

What would that do to you?

I know.

Well, a couple of things is like any woman that has bought a

fuck doll robot.

She's like, she's real fucked up, I think.

Well, yeah, we've had female comics on here that would probably do that.

Probably.

I mean, I think it would fill the role for a lot of people.

Yeah.

You know, who don't have someone?

Sure.

But it's still not a human being.

It's a robot.

So it's, it's, but it sounds like what this is about is how convincing is the robot.

Exactly.

Because right now, if you were like, I'll get the best version available, it's still going to be.

Yeah.

It's like.

Wait, bring up the dog.

And also, what's the guy?

How is that the current best doll?

Fuck you.

It just goes,

like it's just like a it's a gun, you know.

That's what the women look like currently.

Yeah.

The fuck dolls.

I mean, would you be mad if I fucked that doll?

Okay, but if it looked like Megan Fox.

No, no, no.

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Stop saying that.

No, the doll, I'd be seriously worried for you.

It's kind of worrying.

But here's the thing.

I guess if it looked human, more human,

then you're like, well, what are you doing this for?

I'm like, what?

It's a doll.

I'm just fucking a doll.

Right.

But then the more human it gets, because Megan Fox is programmed to be more human, then you're like, but you're banging a human.

You know, it's, it's human-like.

So it's better to keep them creepy and inanimate is what I'm saying.

Well, here's the thing, though.

The appeal to the amount of people, like the people who see the creepy dolls and go like, yeah, I'm not interested myself.

I'd be like, I don't want to fuck that thing.

Right.

You go, who, what would appeal to you?

A more human one.

But then it's still not human, though.

I know, but I'm telling you, watch this movie.

So is your, what's your verdict on it?

Because at first I was like, why is this bitch crying?

Like, it's just a fuck robot.

Like, it's just a robot.

But then it's the role that the robot takes in the family and then the emotional support that she provides.

And then you're like, oh, like, she's taking the place of a woman.

Yeah.

She's taking my place.

And then I want to fucking kill her.

You know what I mean?

I got you.

Be like, you fucking bitch.

Well, it sounds like there will not be a Megan Fox doll in our house.

No way.

Oh, the problem, too, is that the Megan Fox is his type.

That's his type.

So, the woman, the wife, yeah, she's in the hospital, Megan Fox walks in, the robot, and she's like, The fuck, dude, how do I know that's your type?

Do you know what I mean?

And that would upset me if it was like a blonde, oh, it's big tits, like our new president.

What are you talking about?

That's just fucking we're lucky to have somebody like that running this place.

That's all that's all business.

You're confusing business with

okay.

So, um,

I want to check out the movie now I just watched um a movie last night did Woman of the Year is that good what is that it's really good Anna Kendrick stars in it and she directed it oh she did a really good job I have to say she did a really good job isn't that what it's called 2024 yeah

let's see

yeah oh woman of the hour did I say year it's woman of the hour my bad woman of the hour it's on Netflix

so it's based on a real story.

And the real story is that in sometime in, I think, in the 70s, that the dating game,

which was where a woman would sit normally as like the, you know, the featured person of the show.

And she would interview, she would ask questions to three men behind a partition.

And, you know, like, if we were to go out on a date, where would you take me?

Like that kind of stuff.

And then the three guys would give their answers.

And at the end of the show, the woman would be like, I choose choose bachelor number two.

Like, it was that kind of show.

And this really happened, where in whatever year this was, sometime in the 70s, I think, one of the participants was

a guy who was eventually discovered to be a serial killer.

And he won.

He was the one.

She was charmed by him?

Well, I think, you know, they take some liberties in how it goes.

But

of the three,

the way it's portrayed, I don't know if it's actually this way.

One guy was a dum-dum.

The other guy was kind of a douchebag.

And then this guy was sort of the, of the three, the one who gave the most,

I guess, charming or answers that just kind of made her go, like, yeah, that's a good answer, you know, like that kind of thing.

It was just like inoffensive.

Like, he just kind of played it right.

In reality, I know that in looking it up, the, what's the guy's name?

I think it's Rodney.

Rodney Alcala.

Rodney Alcala.

So in reality,

the woman who chose the guy

said that

the date that was then, because they give you a prize.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, he's cute.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It looks like they could have killed up as many as 130 women.

But

Alcala,

she met him, obviously, like on the show and said that he was so off-putting that she just didn't go on the date.

Wow.

Yeah.

She sensed it.

She sensed it

was off about the guy.

Well, I like how casting wasn't put off by him.

Yeah.

So they never went out on their date.

They never went out on their date.

So that's the whole movie?

Well, the movie, I don't want to give away the movie.

The movie depicts them meeting and then kind of her spending a little time with him that night.

Wow.

And then her being, but first of all, her portrait, her directing of like how this story is told was phenomenal.

The violence in the movie of him being the serial killer was so well done.

Like in a terrifying way.

She really nailed it.

I thought it was just, it was really good.

Well, this sounds like a movie right up your alley.

A serial killer, lots of violence, love.

You also love love stories.

You and I love the Millionaire Matchmaker.

This movie apparently has all Tom Seguro's favorite elements.

Yeah.

This guy was a real goofball, this Rodney Arcala guy.

But she really did a great job.

She's great.

She's

great as the actress as well.

She really portrayed it well.

So I highly recommend it.

I also saw Lake George.

I went to a screening of Lake George, which is a new movie starring Shea Wiggum and Sherry Kooms.

And

it was really, really good.

Like a neo-noir

take about these two who are both kind of midlife fuck-ups

who

are basically thrown into a situation where they have to do

participate in some criminal activity.

And

it's a really cool movie.

I highly recommend checking it out.

Shea Wiggum is in the Mission Impossible movies, if you guys don't know who he is.

And he's such a talented actor.

It's ridiculous.

Very cool.

Wow, look at us watching stuff, making stuff happen.

Really good, man.

Now, some other things have happened.

I think we should get into some of them.

Oh, my God.

In the time that we have not been here.

First of all, two

infamous goofballs, the Menendez Brothers.

In the time that

a couple things have come out.

There's the Menendez Brothers

narrative scripted story, like an eight, nine-part thing.

I think Ryan Murphy did that's on Netflix, which is really good um he does

he's that's his wheelhouse uh he did the dahmer one he did the versace one he did the oj one it was like monster like all your favorite stuffs yeah um so it it um depicts that and then at the like a week or two later they released the documentary which is jesus christ is it i don't there's this thing about you know when you watch documentaries about things that happened in your life but that are 20 30 years earlier you've you forget, like, even when I watched the last dance, the Michael Jordan thing, I was like, oh yeah, I remember this era.

And then you're watching it and you're like, I don't remember, like, all these details, you know, like I just watched the Lance Armstrong story and I was like, yeah, I remember the Lance Armstrong story.

But when you get the insight into the story, it's really like fascinating.

I did not recall so much about the Menendez brothers story.

And it is fucking cool.

It is so difficult to get through that dock.

But that's why we got to release these guys back out in the world.

You feel bad for them.

No, the stuff that I'm talking about is the child abuse.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

That they were victims.

Like, here's something that's very telling.

When you watch the documentary about the Menendez, for those that are unaware, the Menendez brothers quite famously

were convicted of murdering their parents.

They were Beverly Hills rich kids that their father was a very, very successful businessman, a movie producer.

He ran Hertz at one point.

Like, he was very, very high-level executive.

And they murdered their parents in 1989 and were convicted of it in the

96, so many years later.

It was a crazy, crazy thing in our culture, if you weren't alive at the time or don't recall it.

And then, you know, it's one of those things that they've always been a reference in our lifetime of like rich kids, entitled, and obviously for eliminating your family.

And

so the story came back and you're like, oh, I remember the Menendez Brother story.

And then you watched it and you're like, oh my God, like, I don't remember all this shit.

You watch the doc and you realize how abused these guys were.

But this is my point.

There's this one part in the documentary where they're interviewing the prosecutor.

The prosecutor, who's like, these guys are fucking psychos.

Like, it was a pleasure to put them behind bars.

At one point in the interview with the prosecutor, she says, well, I will say this about their father, their father, who was murdered by them.

She goes, the day he died, the world became a better place.

Oh, wow.

They couldn't find one.

That woman right there on the left.

They couldn't find one person to be a character witness about the father during the trial.

Not one person was willing to say a nice thing about him.

She's like, he was a horrible piece of shit about the victim of a murder.

It's pretty, it's pretty telling that she actually says that.

She was like, yeah, he was a fucking horrific human being.

That being said, here's the update for those that don't know.

LA District Attorney George Gascon recently announced a recommendation to re-sentence Eric and Lyle Menendez, who were convicted for the 1989 murders of their parents.

The decision could allow the brothers who have spent 34 years in prison a chance at parole.

Gascon cited recent findings that under today's understanding of trauma and abuse, their claims of enduring years of sexual abuse by their father would have been taken more seriously.

A new sentencing proposal set at 50 years to life would make them eligible for immediate parole due to their age at the time of the crime.

The potential resentencing has sparked mixed emotions.

Many family members and advocates, including attorney Mark Garragos, support the recommendation, highlighting the brothers' efforts toward rehabilitation.

However, some families' members, like Kitty Menendez's brother, still believe the original life sentence is justified.

So that's in the news.

And of course, Kim Kardashian is involved.

Is she?

She is.

She's become an advocate for their release.

I mean, look, this isn't a black and white issue, obviously.

There's so much gray zone.

How old were they at the time they committed these crimes?

19 and 21.

Yeah.

Look, here's

my initial instinct is like, so many people are molested and abused by their parents.

That doesn't mean you take

shotguns and blow away your mom and dad.

Like, there's other things to do, like contact the police, child services.

Like, there's a million other things they could have done.

So I do worry about their lack of proper judgment.

Yeah.

I mean, that is a pretty gnarly thing.

It was really gnarly and extensive.

Yeah, and I get they were abused.

I know.

I had to stop watching the Netflix series as much as I love Chloe Savini, Ninae.

And the guy that plays the dad is Javier Bardum.

I love him.

Yeah.

But I couldn't.

I couldn't.

I just, I can't take child abuse.

Anyway, well, thanks for sharing that story.

You like that?

Any other murder or serial killering we can talk about before we move on?

I'm sure there's plenty.

Oh, there is one special someone.

Yeah, there's some other big stories that have

come about since we've been doing our thing and stuff like that.

One of them is that the one and only Garth Brooks, some of you know him as a very famous country music singer,

he has

come under serious scrutiny

because of very serious allegations.

And here is what is going on.

Let the conversation begin.

Garth Brooks is facing serious allegations from a former makeup artist.

She worked for them for over 15 years.

Claims that he subjected her to multiple instances of sexual assault.

2019, the accuser details disturbing incidents, including an alleged assault where Brooks held her upside down by her ankles.

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Her accusations include

inappropriate advances and explicit comments that reportedly continued despite her objections.

In response, by the way, she also claimed that he assaulted her at the Beverly Hills Hotel and then went to the Grammys, like right after that.

That's wild.

Yeah.

Like, I got to go now.

Yeah.

That is a nice hotel.

In response, Brooks has firmly denied the claims, labeling them as fabricated attempts at extortion.

He claims the accuser demanded hush money, and the allegations are aimed at harming his reputation.

As part of his defense, he released the accuser's name in court documents, a move that has drawn public criticism.

He asserts this disclosure was necessary to fully defend himself.

Additionally, Brooks recently listed one of his properties for sale, a decision some sources speculate could be related to the ongoing legal battle.

I really like that.

His legal team maintains the allegations are opportunistic.

She goes into great detail, probably more detail than we'd want to read on this show.

But

if you are

up for it, you can Google the makeup accuser, the makeup artist's accusations, and they are in real detail in the court documents, and you can see exactly what she is accusing him of.

And

I leave it up to you

if you

want to weigh in on what happened.

Excited, scared, nervous, all the good things.

What about the deposition?

Can you talk about that a bit?

No, I can't talk about that.

Not even a little bit.

No.

What I feel like I should say is that you really should, in this case, just let

this

take its course.

That's the right thing to do, honestly.

G is G, and he, you know, this is obviously a very serious thing.

And I feel like the right thing to do, because I don't really know, is

to let

the courts do their thing and let this take its natural course.

And we will hopefully have much more to say after it plays out.

So special, so rare.

I mean, I just, it is wild that

we've been, you know,

calling it for

a minute, guys.

This is not news to us.

Yeah.

So, wow.

Wowzers.

Okay.

I really like that.

So,

CP,

you have been

in your treatment?

Ugh.

I'm almost done, guys.

Almost done.

Next Wednesday.

Whoop, whoop.

My last round of radiation.

Clap, goddammit, in there.

I don't hear anybody.

Thank you.

I don't hear it.

It's been terrible.

So I have 35 rounds, and then that'll be my last one.

And then I can be done with this shit for a minute.

Yeah, but you're not the only one that's been dealing with a lot of shit.

What are you suffering with now?

First Invisalign?

Dude, my closet flooded.

I know.

Just as bad as cancer.

It kind of is when you think about it.

It is.

It was horrible.

It was horrible.

A thing burst and then the water came gushing down your closet.

The guys were, so they're up there fixing because we had like a hot water issue.

And then the next day, there's a leak from the exact spot.

That's what it is.

They fucking.

The guys came back.

I was like, oh, what's going on?

They're like, ah, there's like a gasket that wasn't placed right or maybe it.

melted or something and i'm like that's is that's where you guys were and they're like i don't i don't know

They're like, I wasn't the guy that did it.

I'm like, yeah, but it was your company.

They never,

I got to talk to Bob.

I'm like, okay.

Do you think it was your guy's fault?

He's like, I have no idea.

Of course it's their fault.

Of course it's fair.

We've been taking cold showers for a long, long time and they can't seem to fix it.

So your closet flooded at 7.30 Saturday night.

Thank God it was 7.30.

Oh, I know.

So I could have been

taking a piss at midnight.

What is that?

And then you're like.

Well, I was terrified because I didn't know if it was going to start an electrical fire.

Of course.

And I'm like, fuck, and the kids are all jacked and freaking out.

And then we had to get your clothes out.

I thought it was the most exciting thing in the world.

They loved it.

I called the house.

First thing I'm just like, oh, I'm on my way home.

And Julian's like, there's an emergency at the house.

I was like, there's an emergency?

He's like, is that why you're calling for the emergency?

And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?

And he's like, there's rain in your closet.

And I'm like, what?

There's rain.

Let me talk to your mom.

He goes, talk to me.

And I go, no, not you.

Let me talk to the adult.

Yeah, he wouldn't let me talk to you.

He ran away.

So far.

He's like, I'm going to manage the situation.

I'll keep an eye on it.

And he had like a flashlight pointed there.

And he's like, I'm watching it.

Yeah.

Good.

Thank you.

It was crazy.

So I had the boys help me carry your clothes out so that they didn't get ruined.

And it was just a sea of beige.

It was so crazy.

We just kept carrying out boring clothes, more boring than the ship before it.

Okay.

Put it down.

Wait, can I give you my full radiation update?

Yeah, of course.

Okay.

So I'm almost done with this fucking terrible treatment.

And then...

Tell me about your plans, like what you did there, though.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I forgot about this.

So I sent this to Zolo.

So

when I started treatment, it's a lot of old people, and some of them are like...

Some of them are up to talking.

Some of them are just so sick and they can't talk.

And I feel like they only had like one issue of better housekeeping in the waiting room.

And I was like, this will not do.

So I've decided to seed the waiting room with different magazines.

And I'm because you said they had poor magazines.

It was literally one episode.

One episode, one

issue of better housekeeping.

And I've been thumbing through it.

It's all warped and wilted.

And like, these are old people.

They're not dead yet.

They deserve quality magazines.

Absolutely.

So I'm starting out.

I started out light.

I brought in like the National Inquirer with like P.

Diddy on the cover, a Vogue magazine.

And so then there was one with Reagan on the cover.

And surprise, surprise, the old folks love the Reagan issue.

So that's a picture of the, it was opened like that the other day.

And then,

yes, there's a video.

There's Reagan.

There's the Vogue I left.

And then there's the Diddy.

Now, I'm going to ramp it up because this is my last week of radiation to somewhat soft pornography.

And I'm, should I do like the swimsuit edition?

I've got an issue of men's health with like a shirtless, light-skinned black dude.

I think I'm going to leave that.

But what do you think should be my final magazine?

Hustler.

They don't know it's me.

Should I drop full up?

Playboy?

Playboy?

Because there's a few old dudes.

I don't know if you've got the image of the old guy.

I'm always going to get picked up right away.

You don't think that's...

Are there like if you were really, if you really want to do something, I would go wherever.

It's so hard to find like a good magazine stand.

Maybe in some grocery stores now.

It's hard.

I think some grocery stores still have them.

If you notice you find like a dedicated...

Yeah.

And I would

get a couple of gun magazines.

Yeah.

Guns.

Get some travel magazines.

Then get some gossip stuff, like people or whatever.

Get some car magazines for the dudes.

They always love that.

But it's mostly women for breast cancer.

And then, well, then get, you know, you're abroad, you know what they like.

And then get some, yeah, get some like male physiques in there for them.

Yeah, I'm going to drop that, the men's fitness.

And then one porn would be nice.

And then one softcore.

What about like lad mags?

Do those exist anymore?

Like maxim?

I don't know if that stuck around.

Because here's the thing: these are older folks.

They're going to be offended.

I don't want them to be like appalled.

I do want them to enjoy what I'm driving.

A little girl would be a fucking thing.

Bro.

Oh, yeah, like Maxim.

Yeah.

I could drop that.

And it's for sale.

Is it still a thing that's still out?

I don't think it is.

I don't know.

Or something like that.

Yes.

Yes.

Okay, let's go.

In Subscription.

Print versions are levered every two months.

They do six a year.

Oh, gosh.

That was such a huge magic.

Yeah, they don't print as much anymore.

But yeah, so I'm super pumped about that.

I'll be dropping, again, next week is the last week of treatment.

So I think on Monday, I can drop one.

And then my last day is Wednesday.

And I'm going to drop like the hardcore one.

Yeah.

And then just bounce.

You got to do one porn.

Yeah.

One porn.

But here's the thing.

And I wanted to ask you this.

Maybe this is too dark of a subject.

You can cut this out if you don't like this.

So when you're done with your treatment, you ring the bell.

There's like a bell ding-ding-ding, you know, like that's a piece of shit restaurant you guys like in Bureau Beach.

Oh my god, it's like the okay, anyway.

Some of those folks are not gonna make it out.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, and so I feel kind of guilty.

Like, is it smug of me?

Because I am the younger, healthier to be like, nanny, nanny, I'm done with my treatment.

If you're gonna do it like that, it's kind of shitty, yeah.

And if you go, and you go, are you guys done or are you almost done?

No.

Maybe one day.

Or maybe you're just going to hear God ring his bell.

You're going home.

God's going to ring your radiation bell.

Yeah, because, like, I mean, look, granted, I got one of the longer courses.

So I guess what it is, is like, I have to know that I've got Cred to do.

I do have Cred.

I've been through a lot of treatment.

You can definitely ring your bell.

Yeah, I don't want to be like

about it and have them hate me.

Maybe then don't do it.

I don't think you would.

I know, I know, but I worry that it comes off as like error.

You get to ring your bell, right?

That's part of the thing.

I haven't seen anybody do it yet, but I'm excited to do it.

Okay.

And then, so this was the craziest thing that happened in radiation by far.

This is so ratted.

I can't believe I got a photo of it to share with you guys.

So I'm sitting in treatment and whatever in the waiting room, that one I just showed you with the magazines.

Okay.

And you're supposed to go into the changing rooms, you change into a gown, and then you sit down and you wait for them to come get you to go back to the machines.

So I'm fucking sitting there.

And in the woman comes out of the changing room.

She's wearing the gown and she's fucking barefoot.

This is crazy.

Bro, barefoot.

Now keep in mind, you've got immunocompromised people, like women in chemotherapy, like they can't be exposed to filth.

And then like they, you should not be barefoot in this.

Even if it were just a, let's say it has nothing to do with immunocompromise,

just the basic etiquette of you're in a waiting room for anything.

A medical facility?

It's like if you were going to get your physical, it'd be crazy.

Like, why aren't you wearing shoes?

Well, so my stepsister's Indian.

Hold on, don't show it yet.

And I texted it to Cindy, my sister, and she's like, dude, you just hate feet.

Like in our culture, it's fine to have your feet everywhere.

I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.

You don't get it.

This isn't me being feet phobic and people will accuse me of that.

It's that this is a medical place.

Oh, there's my buddy Sue.

She graduated last week.

And you should not have your feet out where people can get sicker from your feet, your filth.

And not only that, this fucking bitch right here, there's a picture of her.

She's walking in to change this hippie chick.

She fucking sat down next to me in the waiting room and she had bandages around her big toe and around her feet.

So she fucking had like open wounds.

Why can't she just wear like slippers or something?

Bro, something.

Something.

Yeah.

I was shocked and appalled.

And I was like, oh my God.

Like I, to the staff, I was like, did you guys see the barefoot lady?

And they're like, no, we've seen crazier things than that.

I'm like, like, what?

Yeah.

Like, what?

Well, they radiate people's buttholes.

You know that?

Like if you get asshole cancer, could you imagine getting your asshole radiated?

I think about it every time when I'm in there and I feel bad for myself.

I'm like, at least it's not asshole cancer.

Yeah, exactly.

It's all perspective.

Or your head, because I see the cast.

Oh, it's just terrible.

But yeah, this fucking bitch came in barefoot.

I cannot believe it.

By the way, I know Christina has been fired up about this lady for six weeks.

Every time she's a fucking barefoot lady walking.

Barefoot lady.

I was blown away.

I sent out group text.

Very strange choice.

It's disrespectful to sick people, dude.

Yeah.

I was very blown away by this.

I send it to so many people.

You don't have shoes?

You have fucking shoes on, dude.

She clearly does.

She was like a hippie Austin.

Did she walk in with shoes?

I don't know.

So when, because there's two waiting rooms, right?

Like the outer one and the inner sanctum.

And she's in the inner sanctum.

And I'm saying, like, guys, some days there are...

There are comatose people who are so sick from chemo in the hallways.

Like people that are just on death's door.

Like you have to, you can't go in there and be disgusting.

It blew my mind, dude.

It fucking blew my mind, bro.

I get it.

Anyway, that, yeah, fired me up.

Fired me up.

Oh, my God.

I love it.

So that is Lara or Laura.

She does,

I guess she does OnlyFans

content.

I don't know if she does regular porn stuff, but she does fart and poop stuff a lot.

Good for her.

She farts constantly in her Instagram posts.

Good for her.

Look, that's the best way to make a living.

I've always felt if you're going to do an OnlyFans or pornography, this is an easy lane.

It kind of brings us to.

You're going to drop it right now?

What?

Go ahead.

No, you go ahead.

No, no, you share it with the world.

Your new gift.

Well, you're you're the one that observes it, so why don't you drop it?

All right.

You guys, this is the inventor right here sitting across from me of the double pipe classic.

You may remember it.

Was it 2010 you invented this?

It's in Wikipedia, guys.

There's an actual Wikipedia devoted to my husband.

Not Wikipedia, but like urban dictionary.

Urban dictionary of a double pipe classic.

My husband invented it.

It's when you burp and fart at the same time.

It's very rare.

Very rare.

Yeah.

And I had one this year, which was pretty crazy.

Which was really cool.

We haven't had it in a few years.

Something incredible happened two weeks ago, and we can't stop talking about it, thinking about it.

Go ahead, Tom.

Well, I've been doing, you're talking about fart walking.

Of course I'm talking about fart walking.

Yeah, I've been fart walking more in the mornings.

And I've fart walked, I think we all have in life.

No, not like you.

But I'm saying it's happened.

Like you've walked somewhere and farted as you walked.

And you're like, oh, this is happening.

Whatever.

You're on the street.

You're going somewhere.

And you're like, I'm farting as I walk.

And it's usually, I think, a pretty joyful experience.

But what's happened lately is I think because of my protein intake in the evenings, is that when I wake up for like my sort of the pee

before it's time to like, you know, the last one, it's like 6.30 or so.

Yeah.

I, as I'm walking from the bed to the restroom, I fart walk.

The whole way.

But what, you know, I don't know if you're conveying this properly, though, is that you are able to fart on each step.

Yeah.

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Yeah.

And you got about, I would say, five or six farts and steps in, which is, I think, very difficult, very rare.

And if you're out there fart walking, like it's no big deal, go ahead and share.

Well, the best part is that as I do it, I'm like, I'm always, I'm pretty pleased with myself as I do it.

I'm like, this is pretty cool.

And then you go, that's a real nice way to wake up

because it'll be like your alarm, basically.

It is my every morning.

You fucking fart and wake me up.

Yeah, I'm like, this is cool, huh?

Guys, hashtag, hashtag fart walk.

But it's not like that.

It's

it matches your walk.

So if you can fart walk, go ahead and tag us.

Hashtag fart walk.

Yeah.

I want to see that.

That's pretty strange.

It doesn't happen very often.

It was cool.

It was very cool.

I was actually quite pleased with it.

And you haven't really been able to replicate it since.

That's the trouble with that.

I had a few days of it.

Yeah, days, yeah.

It really, I think, is very much related to your consumption the night before.

I think you're right.

Whatever's happening in your digestive tract of the night.

I think it's related to protein powder, especially for you.

Because I've noticed your farts smell a certain way when you've been drinking those shakes that you drink, those protein shakes.

Had one today.

Oh, okay.

Well, maybe we'll get it.

But I don't feel anything in my system right now.

But if your fart is hot and tangy, I know that's a fish fart.

You had some of those the other day, hot and tangy.

Oof.

I had a bad fish the other day, too.

Yeah, I know.

You were shitting all day.

Horrible.

It's the worst.

Horrible.

It gives you PTSD in that, like, I remember when I got food poisoning from salmon in Las Vegas 10 plus years ago.

Oh, I remember it.

I didn't.

That time, I avoided salmon for six, nine months.

I was so

just like, I just didn't trust it anymore.

It's disgusting.

Yeah.

No, I know.

It's like the time I puked up spaghetti bolognese in 2006.

It took me years to get back to that.

To have that again, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I remember every time I volunteered.

Yeah, this one fucked me up.

It was sea bass, which I love.

Definitely.

You know what, too?

It's so buttery and oily.

It's pretty rich.

It could have been that, too.

When's the last time you puked?

I puked, I think, earlier this year, but it wasn't not related to.

Mine was October 30th, 2019.

That's your last vomit?

Yeah.

Wow.

You had that ready to go.

You want to see some cool shit?

Yeah.

Check this out.

Hello, Langley.

It's Clayton Elbers, your favorite realtor with Remax Sabre.

Let me introduce you to my brand new listing at 206-26 Eastlay Crescent.

Welcome to the Georgia Condominiums.

Come on in and have a look.

Stop.

He's so Canadian.

Yeah.

This two-bedroom, two-bath condo has all the modern luxuries.

Quartz countertops, stainless steel appliances, nine-foot ceilings.

Built in 2020, it feels brand new.

It feels brand new.

The shirt is too tight.

And the jewelry is great.

Look, I think he's got a great personality.

He's got swag for sure.

I mean, I like him.

I don't know if...

He

is doing the shirt as a bit.

No.

Or if he's just like, yeah, this shirt looks good.

I think he thinks it looks good.

Cause I'm going to go.

We even have two-car tandem parking below.

Please have a look around.

Okay.

Nice place.

Yeah.

With this bright balcony and mountain view, you'll be doing tons of relaxing.

As for me, Clayton Elbers, your favorite realtor.

We'll see you at the open house.

All right.

Take care, A.

Clayton Albers.

I like Clayton Elbers.

Yeah.

No, I'm going to go.

Are those tats on his chest?

Bro, zoom in.

They are, right?

I think that's part of his look, the chain.

Yeah.

Those are tats?

Yeah, chest tats.

That's why he wears it unbuttoned so you see them.

It's quite open.

I mean, that's three or four buttons open.

Yeah.

Because he wants you to.

Can we tell what they are?

Are those like Rihanna paw prints?

Is that an animal?

that I'm seeing them.

It looks like a tiger.

We're doing some research.

Okay.

That's unbelievable.

unbelievable.

I like him.

I mean, he's definitely, you know, like I said,

a

charismatic dude.

Yeah, Chain is definitely on point.

It is tigers.

Oh, yeah.

It's a tiger and a lion.

Oh, he's the best.

That's what he looks like, dude.

Oh, wow.

Oh, this guy rules.

He's a dude.

Enjoying Maui.

Yeah.

Hell yeah, dude.

Clayton.

That's your realtor?

That's why he dresses like that.

Holy shit.

He's trying to hide his freak, dude.

If he walked up to me, though, at the beach, he'd be like, I heard you're trying to sell your house.

I'd be like, I'm actually all right.

Yeah, he's like, what's your address?

I'm not telling you where I live.

Yeah, that's how you want your realtor to look.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Or do you?

He's got a family.

Yeah, he's cool.

He's doing his thing.

See, but I kind of, like, you know how here in Austin?

Yeah.

There's the lawyer that's got the dreads and he's on all the billboards and he's got the tats.

Like, what if he's the first realtor to be tatted and fucking gnarly?

Like, I might go for him.

Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, he might be really good.

I mean, he definitely

on top of the social media.

How big is his following on social media?

That's this fucking guy.

No, that's he's not everywhere.

Hire that lawyer.

You're out of your goddamn mind.

Is he?

He's got to be the attorney that rocks.

Fuck off, dude.

I don't want an attorney that rocks.

I want an attorney that's a fucking dork.

He's an attorney that burns, bro.

He fucking burns.

He's faded right now, homie.

But personal injury?

I want a non-Christian attorney that takes no shit.

Non-Christian.

He has 10K followers.

That's a good follow, dude.

That's a good following.

I'm telling you, he needs to lean into who he realizes.

Oh, he also does jewelry.

Awesome.

He says licensed realtor, business owner, custom jewelry.

Yeah.

There's like a tattoo.

He might own a tattoo shop.

Yeah, dude.

He's selling grills, tats.

Gold teeth, Vancouver.

He's doing, oh, yeah, he's doing grills.

Yeah, this guy's everywhere.

He's a hyphener, too.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm a writer, actor, producer.

Tattoo artist, real estate.

Yeah, he's doing it all.

He's doing it.

Oh, that shirt fits him.

He's a hustler, though.

Yeah, he's good.

I like him.

The shirt's way too fucking tight, Clayton.

That shirt is insane.

Yeah, Clayton, we're on your side about it.

Yeah, that's a better fitting shirt.

That's good, yeah.

Everyone's worn a two-shot tight of a shirt.

Of course.

We all know the feeling.

Of course.

But yours is very tight in that one.

I also know that feeling too, when you're like, you know what?

I'm not going up a size.

Fuck that.

I do it all the time.

Yeah.

You're like, I'm not adding an X

to the fucking shirt.

Can't do it on, can't do it on principle.

I am not a double XL.

And you're just like,

see?

Do it too.

I do it too.

I've ordered things too small and then had to have like panels put in so that I could fit.

Because I'm like, I'm not ordering a size up.

I am not a size 10, damn it.

No.

Buy it all in the other and then have it all tailored.

I do, I do.

I'm such an idiot.

I know.

I can't do it as a woman, my self-esteem.

By the way,

can we please fucking talk, speaking of ridiculous, about Al Pacino?

Yeah.

I've been obsessed about this one for days.

Al Pacino, one of the great actors of our

generation.

Is that his stupid sound?

Ura.

Ura.

She's got a

great ass.

He does that thing, and you're like.

It was a scent of a woman.

That was like the biggest movie.

He plays a blind guy who's foul-mouthed.

Everybody loved that fucking movie.

And then they did this thing in Heat.

Scarface.

You know, in Heat where he's great in that.

Where like years later, they're like, yeah, he's supposed to be on cocaine the whole time.

Like, that's the character.

Yeah.

But then they cut out the stuff they shot that were references and seeing it.

So you just see this guy who's like, yeah.

And they're like, and you're like, what the fuck is going on?

They're like, yeah, he's on Coke.

You're like, yeah, why don't you show it?

Dude, that makes so much sense.

Just implied.

And they're like, yeah, I thought you'd know.

I'm like, yeah, we know he's out of his fucking mind.

I didn't know that.

Now I've got got to watch Heat over again.

Heat's incredible, but he's just like, and this guy walk in, you're like, Jesus Christ.

Yeah.

Yeah, they should tell you that information.

That's kind of valuable.

Fucking cokehead.

Oh, but anyway, back to

Great Al Pacino, phenomenal talent.

He's a new dad.

He is also.

Yay, guys, clap for him.

Clap in the booth.

There's a lot of cool guys that do this.

They're usually very successful.

And the strangest thing, he found this sweet, sweet girl.

She is

29, yeah.

He, there's a little age gap.

He is 84.

84 years young.

That's a good way of looking at it.

So I think that age gap would be 55 years.

Did I get that right?

I think it's a 55-year age gap.

Yeah, there it is.

But here's a nice thing about...

I'm with the love of my life.

Here's a nice thing about this sweet girl, this 29-year-old sweet, sweet lady, is that she's got a penchant for older actors or older dudes.

Like she was dating Mick Jagger,

who is about that age too.

And then, wasn't she with Nicholson, I want to say?

Whatever.

I can't find the Nicholson one.

People were saying she was dating Clint Eastwood for a while.

Can you die that?

I didn't get the thing because it probably would.

Okay.

What a nice girl.

She's dating all these cool, nice girls.

Oh, yeah.

So he became the new dad at 83.

He's now 84.

His now ex-girlfriend.

Are they already

split already?

The baby's three months old.

Al Fala welcomed their first child together.

Pacino's already a dad to three adult children.

Da-da-da.

The daughter.

In March of 2024,

Al Fala spoke publicly for the first time about her relationship.

Al lives down the street from my house.

We started spending every day together playing chess, watching movies.

It was like film school with Al Pacino.

I bet that was fucking amazing.

Yes.

I guess it just became something more.

They are no longer romantically involved.

Here's everything to know about her.

Okay, she's a producer.

I'm a producer.

You know what I'm saying?

She was a producer, graduated from the University of Southern California, Cinematic School for the Arts.

It's a great program, by the way.

Continuing her studies at the University of California, Los Angeles, where she obtained a master's degree in film and television producing.

In 2018, she produced a short film called Brosa Nostra about a fraternity president trying to get his house to return to the Greek row at Southern California College.

After graduating, she produced another short film.

She executive produced the forthcoming feature, Billy Knight, which stars Pacino, Charlie Heaton, Diana Silvers, and Patrick Schwarzenegger, as well as The Apprentice, a film about the rise of Donald Trump starring Sebastian Stan.

Okay,

you can scroll down.

So let's see.

She welcomed their first son.

We got that.

Let's see if it has any backstory.

They're just friends.

Okay, she's been linked to other big names.

That's what we're getting to.

Let's see who she dated.

There she is, snuggling Mick Jagger.

Prior to welcoming Pacino, or welcoming a child with Pacino, she made headlines when she dated Mick Jagger when he was 74.

And she was 22 at the time.

Our ages didn't matter to me.

No, of course not.

The heart doesn't know what it sees.

It only knows what it feels.

And you're right.

In 2019, Alfolla sparked romance rumors with Clint Eastwood after they were photographed leaving Craigs.

There is no relationship.

We're family friends.

My family is there, and that's that.

That's what she said about that.

She has three siblings.

I don't know if there's any more there, but yeah, that's pretty cool.

She definitely likes older men, which is fine.

You can like older men.

That's so cool, but the coolest part is to have children with them, you know what I mean?

And then break up.

The baby's three months old.

Well, the neat thing for that kid is that there's a lot of footage of his dad because he's going to need it.

He's not really going to grow up with him because I can't imagine that he will live that much longer.

No, so wait, where's that video where he's talking about how much fun he has with a kid?

Do we have that Zolo where he's like, What he does with him?

He's this little guy,

treats him like a dachshund or something.

Yeah, yeah,

his connection with his one year.

He likes pudding, I like pudding, maybe it's on the TikTok, yeah,

yeah, it'll be there.

So, yeah, I mean, it is like,

I don't know, if he's 84, that means there's a good chance that,

I don't know, when he's in kindergarten or first grade,

his dad will be dead.

And they'll be like, he was a really good actor.

Good.

I wish he would have gotten a vasectomy.

Oh, yeah.

And so does De Niro's an old-ass dad, too.

He's got that young girlfriend.

There's a couple guys like that.

They have.

See, that's the problem, Tom, with getting the young, hot girlfriend.

Yeah.

If, listen to me, look at me.

Yeah.

If I died before you,

all right?

Yeah.

How dare you?

No.

And hold on.

Mm-hmm.

If you bang some 29-year-old, they all want the baby.

There's no way some woman in her 20s is not going to want the baby.

But I'd have to get a reverse snip.

Yeah, you can do that.

That's not hard.

I don't want to do that.

That's not hard to do.

I don't want to do that.

I'm just warning you.

These young chicks, they all want babies.

That's the whole point.

So what do you tell me?

I'm going to support them.

You know what I'll tell them?

I'll be Like, yeah, let's just keep trying.

I don't know what's going on.

So, you're like, I'm not getting pregnant.

I'm like, because we're not fucking enough.

You dummy.

That's great.

And then you just keep doing that until she gets sick of you.

It's that of her.

Oh.

There you go.

It's fun.

Being a new dad is fun.

It's the least fun is when you're a new dad.

Well, he's not.

He's not doing shit.

He's doing that much.

Let's hear what he's doing.

You know, this little person there.

Everything he does is interesting to me.

So we talk.

I play the harmonica with him.

Harmonica.

And we made this kind of contact.

So it's fun.

At 83.

Did you have any reservations about the age?

Well, you know, I'd want to be around for this child.

Of course I did.

But things happen.

And

I wanted to be,

and I hope I am.

I hope I stay healthy.

And he know who his dad is.

Of course.

It's neat.

It is neat.

And it's a lot of fun.

This little guy does that.

And I'm like,

look at all the stuff he's doing.

And stuff happens, Tom.

He doesn't know how pregnancy happens at 84 or 83.

Can I tell you the most annoying part for me personally is like that, that the British tend to be a little more ruthless in their question acting.

Like you didn't...

You didn't think 83 was kind of old, but that the media has to treat it like it's an awesome thing.

Like if you look at, I think People Magazine covered the story and he's like, this is awesome like it's always from the isn't this great it's like no it's it's not great i don't think it's so great he's like i hope i live you're not gonna you're 84 dude this is the end of the road bro yeah it's not gonna last much longer it's not gonna last much longer and also let's say it does last longer yeah it's not a good

it's not a good time it's not the best time you know you're not like if you're alive at 92 and you see him now you think it's gonna be like he's like i'm just like you're not gonna be able to pick up your kid you've seen old people with babies They go like, yeah.

They can't even hold the cat, let alone the baby.

Do you think, do you think when they were.

You know how things happen?

Yeah.

Do you think stuff happens?

For sure.

She was like, just go inside.

Of course.

He was like,

and then,

fucking, oh,

that was great.

And then she was like, thank you.

Yeah, because

she had to climb on top of his carcass.

And the cool thing now is that she knows he's gonna leave a fucking pretty cool trust.

I know it's so gross because you know she can't marry him, right?

Because he's got prenups to the gills.

She knew she wasn't gonna get that

marriage money.

But now that the kids are there, it's gonna be a good, steady 18 years.

They're like, hey, let's talk about your plans for a second, man.

Exactly, how are you planning on divvying this shit up?

Pops.

Yep.

Well, you know.

Yep.

I got a baby.

Hey.

Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is this This bitch, well, she's going to get at least whatever monthly stipend for child support.

Like, right, if the kids don't fuck her up, have to work fun.

Yeah.

La la la.

For 18 years.

And then what, though, you dumbass?

Dumbass.

I got a pitch real quick.

Hey, same.

Pee-pee twins.

And we peed.

My pee was so powerful.

Did yours smell like coffee?

No.

Really?

No, not really.

Yours often do.

If I have too much, it does.

Yeah.

I don't think I overdid it today.

I've had a good bit of water.

I had a double workout today already.

Double.

Yeah, I did the bike, and then I went to the gym and I lifted at the gym.

You're crazy right now with the fitness jeans.

I know.

It's because I'm going to be nude that I'm, you know, you have like a panic setting.

Are you allowed to say this?

I think I've talked about it, that it's coming up.

Dude, I didn't realize until a meeting the other day is that I'm nude in four scenes now.

Like, I think they all were like, Yeah, this is pretty funny.

Just keep doing it.

I'm like, okay.

This is pretty scary.

Yeah.

And like, I have a, I know, I have a horrible flat ass.

And they're like, yeah,

show that.

Funny.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like the way that you were honest.

You just went.

Yeah.

Well, both of us, we look, I think, full disclosure.

It's not the same.

You and I have both admitted to having flat asses to each each other.

We both agreed.

The tailor on the show, she was like,

you know, getting a costume ready.

So she was like tracing.

She was doing this tracing thing.

And she was like, you have very defined calves.

And I was like, nice.

I was like, everybody hear that?

She was like, very defined.

I was like,

that's what's up.

And then she goes up, does like the hamstrings.

And then she goes, yeah, a lot of men have flat butts.

like you.

And I was like, hmm.

Yeah, that is a Segura family trait, trait, I will say.

I feel like everyone.

Flat ass family.

Me too, though.

Look,

I got the tits.

I didn't get the ass.

That's for fucking sure.

Oddly enough, Top Dog didn't have a flat ass.

Maybe later in his later years, but

he was a weightlifter.

Other side.

Oh, yeah, it's definitely.

It's definitely her.

It's her side, yeah.

God.

No one has an ass.

I don't have an ass either.

Mine is

so bad.

No, mine sucks, too.

No, mine is.

I've tried Pilates.

I've tried the weightlifting.

And also, yours isn't going to be broadcast.

Mine's going to be broadcast.

You chose to dip shit?

I didn't kind of, I really didn't kind of.

What do you mean you didn't?

It's your show.

But I still was like, they're just, you know, you just don't want to be the guy to like

negate.

It's much better if you just show your ass.

And I'm like, okay.

Can you do like a stunt ass?

Can you do a stand-in?

No, come on.

That's for the weaklings.

Why don't you do what Tom Cruise does in the movies where they do like the lens, the glossy lens?

Because that's what they do in the Mission Impossible movies.

They just treat the film.

They treat the film.

Yeah.

So he looks much better.

You could.

What about full frontal?

What do I do there?

Are you gonna?

Yeah.

Holy shit, for real?

Yeah.

You're gonna show your dog, dude?

Yeah.

I'm gonna fluff like everybody else does.

Yeah.

I know what you're doing.

I can't believe you're gonna do it.

Give me, give me, like, I'm gonna be like, give me 30 seconds to smack it around.

Smack, smack, smack, smack, smack, smack, smack.

Are you really showing your dick?

Yeah, it's just the way life goes.

Here we go.

This is cool.

I love this, yeah.

Isn't it crazy that I have a lion at the house?

Nothing bad will happen.

Look at him.

Look at his pale face.

Never in English.

Look at this guy.

He's just there.

They're laughing.

They're laughing, dude.

The lion.

Yeah.

A lioness.

So fucking stupid.

That could have gone so.

I do love these talks, though.

I love these videos.

These fucking great.

All right, I have been dying to show you this.

So

Frankie Valley, who is a beloved singer, Frankie Valley in the Four Seasons.

This man has been performing for like 60 plus years, right?

Yeah.

Like, and

this was like from, you know, Greece, the incredible John Travolta, what's her name, Olivia Newton John.

Like, that's Frankie Valley singing in some of the big songs.

And some of of the big songs.

Yeah.

Grease is the, you know, that word.

Grease is the word.

That's him.

He's him.

Yeah, now this is him.

I think during the pandemic, he did what even we were doing in stand-up, which is like putting on an online concert for people that want to.

So check him out here.

Is that really him singing?

That's him.

That's okay.

Yeah.

He can still sing for sure.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

I don't like his background sound.

I mean, he's still really doing it here.

okay, yeah, I got it.

So you got it, right?

I mean, he's still nailing it here.

Yes.

Now,

he has to be 85 or 86 here, okay, in that video.

It's 2020.

It's a pandemic performance that people could watch online.

So, yeah, so that's four years ago.

So, he's probably 86 because he's 90 now.

So,

he has been continuing to perform, and people have noticed that it is not the same.

Uh-oh.

Okay, it is not the same.

And I have multiple examples.

No.

No.

So, what they're doing now

is they're playing the audio audio of the original track.

Right.

And then he's just supposed to lip sync.

That, by the way, what I just showed you, is by far the best version of it.

It's by far the best version of it.

But the lip syncing, he's barely putting it.

Barely can't open his mouth.

He's barely doing it.

Why are they doing this to this man?

Whom does he owe money to?

Who is forcing him to do this?

This doesn't seem like...

This seems like, you know, when somebody reached a certain age and you go, you know what?

You just don't have to do it anymore.

You can, you've been performing for

me.

I'm so stoked about cancer because now I'm like, I'm done touring.

I'm fucking done.

Stand up.

Not for a while.

I just meant you can reach an age where you can go, I no longer perform.

But, babe, I don't think he's there.

I think

you think he's making he wants to do this shit.

It's the same reason, crazy ass Madonna.

But what if you put it?

What if you bought your ticket?

Oh my gosh.

And you saw this.

I mean,

how old is his audience?

He's talking.

So that's his voice.

The eyes are.

Oh my god.

He's practically dead.

Poor guy.

Oh no.

Okay.

It's not a good look though.

He's actually singing here.

He's singing, yeah.

This is also, I hadn't seen this one.

This one's okay.

This one's all right.

But he can barely move.

He's coming.

He also hasn't blinked once.

No.

And then it's been like three minutes.

No.

But he looks okay.

That one's okay.

So I apologize.

That was actually a better one.

Okay, here's Grease.

All right.

He's not singing.

No, he's not singing.

He misaccused her.

Oh dear.

Oh dear.

You know those background guys have stories.

Of course.

Can somebody please have one of these backgrounds?

Reach out, please.

He's like, well, I say Greece is the word.

Oh,

no.

You can, you know.

I think there's somebody else driving this.

I don't think it's

like I have to perform.

You think he's got the wife like Ozzie Osborne's wife?

Ozzy is on his last leg.

Well, here's the thing.

Joan doesn't.

Because he was so obviously highly proficient into his 80s.

Yeah.

That means

he probably was touring all the time.

Yeah.

And that

basically

gives you a certain lifestyle.

He's probably spending more, like most people would say, let's say they're performers, they would retire most,

you know, with the exception of like a Tony Bennett and all that.

Most would be like, yeah, I'm done.

I'm 70 something.

And then you would, you kind of get into

a certain, you get into a certain change in lifestyle.

But if you are into your 80s, still performing, it may be that like...

they're just like living it up.

And that's when when it's like, hey, it's time to retire, someone's like, no, don't do that.

because you've got too many expenses yeah and you're used to like earning a certain amount and spending a certain amount but i will note the decline is significant from 86 to 90 yeah but still it was fine four years ago but that's a normal thing to decline at 90

here's the thing i'm learning though tom yeah

you're gonna be touring well into your 90s

because Mama likes this life.

I'm staying home.

I'm relaxing.

I ain't working.

You love being a comic.

You got to tell jokes until you're dead.

Hey guys,

you ever

wipe, come on the drapes?

Mike.

Mike.

Yeah.

I broke your audience as old as shit.

Yeah, they're telling their kids, and they're just like, What the fuck is this?

And they're like, Yeah, you gotta hear the whole story.

My son,

I flushed it down in the toilet.

Son

I'll play the audio of a Netflix special on my phone.

I think you should.

Okay, here's what's going on.

Frankie has told

People Magazine the accusations crack him up, reiterating on his own terms, nobody has ever made me do anything I didn't want to do.

Frankie's all about that four seasons magic, saying as long as the fans keep showing up, he's in it for the long haul.

Promising to be like that bunny on TV that just keeps going and going and going.

Oh, you mean the advertising ad that hasn't aired in 35 years?

Yeah, no, for the Energizer Bunny.

That's awesome.

That's a real current reference.

Yeah.

Okay.

Chasing the music.

But it's the ego.

He can't

slow down.

I'm 90.

I'm done.

There's been a huge concern for Frankie.

Yeah.

Some videos showing him appearing to be lip-syncing his own music on stage.

Of course.

And have fans commenting about how exhausted he looks.

He hasn't blinked in any video.

Yeah, yeah.

But he's made it clear he's not backing down.

Full steam ahead with his tour running all the way through April of 25.

No, he's not going to make it to April.

No,

he's one of those guys who's going to die on tour.

I know, but he's happy doing it.

And you know what?

If people are paying.

He's going to die.

Of course he's dying.

He's going to die in the middle of a song and the song will keep playing.

He'll just go, oh my gosh.

And they'll be like, this is the bird.

This is the bird.

And then he'll be there.

This is the first.

Of course.

But that's why I'm going to pay to see everyone.

But now, don't you want to go see him?

Oh, hold on.

To watch him die on the stage.

Bring up his tour schedule.

Yeah, let's go.

Guys, someone needs to go watch every single one until he dies on stage.

Yeah, let's do it, guys.

Indio, Temecula.

Who's doing the casinos?

Those are big money gigs.

Yeah.

Oh, he's doing.

He's doing a good run.

A lot of casinos.

That's good.

That's where the oldies go.

Probably in the four seasons.

Let's go see him in Texas.

Is he coming to Texas?

I've done some of these places.

Yeah, I know.

Doesn't look like it.

He's not traveling too much.

No, he's going everywhere.

How's he getting on planes and shit?

Arizona's pretty close.

November 10th.

That's the day after.

Guess where I'm at?

November 9th.

Where?

Phoenix.

Okay.

Oh,

wouldn't mind spending an extra night.

Share.

Oh, look at him.

He looks good there.

Don't cry, yi, yi.

We just boosted his ticket sales.

You know, people are going to go just to see if he dies during this bigger Sherry baby.

It's the eyes that freaked me out the most.

Yeah, because the eyes were like.

Yeah, he can't even smile.

So something's cooked.

Yeah.

Oh, poor guy.

Oh, shit.

That was bad.

You want to see something sadder?

I will, I see your Frankie Valley and I will one-up you a Phil Collins.

You've seen what that guy's up to?

He's in the office chair.

Yeah.

Yeah, they put him in an office chair.

This guy, by the way, is so, if you don't know, this man is so exceptionally talented.

It's no, it is outrageous.

This guy's songwriting ability, instrument, his voice.

That's him in an office chair doing a show.

They wheel him out.

He's like at Madison Madison Square Garden.

They're like, sit in this chair.

We got it from the back.

It's one of the accountants' chairs here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Guys, at least give him like a king's throne.

Yeah.

Make it, make it part of the show.

Give him a better seat.

Something happened with his spine.

Oh, right.

I think he has.

What is his health issues?

His life is terrible.

I think it's back-related.

Suffering, the amount of suffering.

Oh, yeah.

I used to fucking just crush it on the drums, of course.

Yeah.

You know how many hits this guy had?

Okay, look.

Spinal injury.

Oh, no.

Upper neck vertebrae, which damaged nerves and affected his hands.

He's unable to play the drums, has performed while sitting in a chair using a cane.

Foot drop.

Hit that show more.

Developed foot drop after back surgery, which requires him to wear orthopedic shoes.

Diabetic abscess.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Acute pancreatitis.

Alcohol.

Well, that's why.

That's why he's got all the other shit going on.

The alcoholism.

Studio.

How many hits did he have?

Oh, it's really crazy.

Genesis.

I know.

This is bad.

I hate when I see them in the office chair, though.

I know.

It's so disrespectful.

It's like from

Staples.

They were like, you just go just grab a writing chair.

And if he's got spinal stuff, maybe get him a chair that's good for him to sit for a long time.

It should be a throne, like you're saying.

Yeah, like make it theatrical.

Yeah.

Like part of the throne.

Put him out in a throne because he's like the king.

Yeah.

And don't make him hold, you know, make the mic stand come to him.

Like, why aren't they?

No, it's crazy.

She seems to have an invisible touch.

So depressing.

Well, you know, this is just what they do.

This is what Madonna's doing, and it's appalling that she is still trying to be hot and sexy and do the same thing she was doing.

She's so jacked up, and it's more and more embarrassing every year.

You got it, unless you can maintain it.

Like Mick Jagger, for some reason, why does Mick Jagger pull this off?

Is it because he's he's physically and his singing voice is still, oh, yeah, yeah, Maro, look at this face.

Well, here's the thing about, it's kind of unfair to women, which is like the standard for a woman and her face is very different for men.

Like as you start to age, everybody goes, the fuck's up with your face.

Do something, right?

And then men, we can just like get wrinkled and just age like you.

And everybody goes, that's fine.

You look great.

Like they just let it go.

So like the standards are different but then how you react to that standard is where that's the key that's really it because there have been female stars over the years that have crushed it like share she still looks i think fairly amazing tina turner was great she passed away unfortunately but tina turner was crushing it at 72 and she looked amazing look share still looks like fucking share yeah i mean she's 77th

yeah but when she was touring and doing her shtick yeah

look at her boyfriend she's got a young and right she likes the young ones she and madonna both like young hot black dudes that's what they're into it's so funny i don't know what that what that what do black guys like older white ladies any is that what it is because she's saying because like share and madonna and some other well-known

women they or do you think that's like are these guys actually attracted to them you think uh i mean i think we like money I'd say that.

I think we're big fans of that.

That's all I could say.

I'm not sure.

I I mean, yeah, I'll fuck with Cher.

You know what I'm saying?

Would you get with a 77-year-old woman?

I mean,

yeah, for like how long?

You know what I'm saying?

You had to have the baby with her.

Would you go down on her?

No problem.

Wow.

Wow.

Look, is Cher perfect?

No.

But when she was touring, she was doing that.

Turn back time.

That shit on the boat.

Remember that?

She was still, her body was still good when she was touring.

She's 78, actually.

Yeah.

And she stopped doing it, right?

She's not fucking Frankie valleying us to death.

Exactly.

It's where you pull the plug and it's pulled the plug.

Tina Turner as well.

She wasn't doing that.

Tina Hackman.

He looks like shit right now, too.

Son of a bitch.

Did you see the

words?

But I hate that people are saying that.

He's just an older guy.

What's going on?

Why are you having any black people on your show?

Oh, shit.

Jesus.

This is an honest question.

Yeah.

Why don't you have more African Americans on your show?

You know how you guys are.

You make an excuse.

I'm not making an excuse.

You know why?

You know what you sound like?

Who?

Your good friend, Bert Schis-Kreiskir.

Yes.

You sound like him.

Man, I'm going to tell you why.

I resent that.

Somebody probably don't get fired from your team, and I do apologize.

It's probably the black guy who's in there.

It's only one black guy here.

I know.

I always feel like one's enough.

But go ahead.

This is what you do.

This is what you do to me.

Tell me.

Whenever there's an issue

in the streets

with black people, you call me like Ghostbusters.

Because like you're the representative of you guys.

I don't know how I met that person.

You don't have any other black friends.

I have other black people I can.

Brian Simpson.

Another one.

Brian Simpson?

That's two of the same motherfuckers.

There's two Brians.

David Lucas.

David Lucas.

Manny Fresh.

David Lucas don't count.

Manny Fresh.

He's of the Joe Rogan family, so he's like that borderline white guy.

He's a borderline white guy.

He does racist jokes and double down on us.

DJ Premier?

He's worse than Tony Hinchcliffe.

DJ Premier.

Okay, that's a good one.

He's a good one.

Too short.

But you don't ask him questions like, so why do black people like Pepsi Cola?

first of all first second of all second of all that was a great question and you gave a great answer so it was it was like you cut around my answer though i didn't cut around the answer you cut around my answer you did a voiceover and somebody just said watermelon right no

that is

absolutely offensive

i'm not playing games so can i ask the question sure can i ask a question you know

I'm not trying to be like you're not that I can't look up to a white person but you know I'm trying to get like passive income through it um through this podcast sure sure you know i started a new podcast called the donnell rawling show and now it's called the what

the donnell rawling show donnell rawlings like after your name

okay

after my name yeah yeah yes and you don't call me just say hey donnell hey donnell that's not you never you don't call me for that but it's but something you know what if i had if i knew it i'd be like oh this is a cool new black thing i'm gonna call you up and i would have called you So, okay, let's be clear.

You call me for cool new black things.

Or questions about black things.

Yeah.

Well, can we, first of all, his beard is very similar to yours.

I think he is cropping it.

Secondly,

I mean, look at my beard.

The white woman is down with this whole theory.

Yo, she just stole, said the black man stole the fucking hairstyle.

Who's that on his shirt, by the way?

On his shirt?

Yeah.

That's Muhammad Ali.

Who's that?

The greatest.

Muhammad Ali is the greatest.

The greatest what?

Black man sports figure of all time.

Never heard heard of him.

I know people are used to this, and I know they're like, oh, watch you walk off.

I know you was.

I know they was counting down.

When can I see him?

I know these motherfuckers are like that.

I'd love to see him fight.

When is he fighting next?

You know what?

My therapist told me he said Donnell is going to be very challenging, but stay focused.

And that's what I'm going to do.

Stay focused.

Stay focused.

Stay focused.

First of all, can I congratulate you on the Donnell Rawling show?

I didn't know that.

Very good.

I'm very excited for you.

No, it's no bullshit.

I'm also listening.

I'm going to keep going with this.

First of all, I remember, you probably don't remember, I remember meeting you at this UCLA show.

This was in like 2005 or 6.

And I came, I couldn't believe you were there because you were on the Chappelle show, and I was asking you all the questions about writing and performing.

And I was really nerding out on how funny you are on the show.

We caught in the hood.

What we say, you was on my dick.

And it's not a home fucking stuff.

Right, right.

Say that.

Go ahead.

Okay, no diddy.

No diddy.

I was on your dick.

Wow.

And then I was like, oh, let me see your dick.

And you're like, it's not like that.

What?

No, dude.

Man, I was like, just let me see your dick.

All right.

I just, I'm trying to like navigate how to do it.

So, and then we've done, first of all, you helped me out when I was doing that show in Cancun, and

you came and you killed it on that.

And then we've done shows together when Joe and Dave have done their co-shows.

We've done those and we have a great time.

And I always have fun with you and I think you're very, very funny.

I don't give a fuck about fun.

We're going to make some money, man.

Well, I mean, aren't you going to, I thought you were booked to do the podcast.

Aren't you coming on the podcast?

Oh, let me tell you about that podcast.

What?

That startup is a black guy behind this camera who looks just like me, right?

I see him.

And she came in.

This is so fucking racist.

That's racist.

Who came in?

Lauren is her name, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Lauren.

I'm doing her podcast.

And she came in, and I'm not trying to say we all look alike, right?

She walked right past me

and said thanks for being on the show, Ashley Larry, to this black guy over here.

After the show?

No, before.

Oh, before.

Oh, yeah.

Well, she probably looked like security and shit.

I mean, like, you know.

Don't say that.

Don't security sucks.

I mean, yo, they worse than Donald Trump security right now.

Man, look at it.

Look at his necklace.

He looks like a star.

I would buy it.

Yeah, but the more, and again, I am so sorry I crashed it.

and in a way i'm happy i crashed it because america needs to know america does need to know america needs to know that you have a black friend that you call on in desperate situations you know what you called me doing george floyd too what did i say just like what can i do

and

i heard

yeah i remember you said yeah yeah money

opportunity yeah i was just like anything

anything to help

you said yeah you said what can i do for your people what can i do i would love to know you know what you can do what's that you can continue to do what you haven't been doing

and be better.

You can be better.

Be better.

And create and continue to

create a platform higher.

Raise black voices.

Raise black voices.

Continue to support the NBA.

I love the NBA.

Why have you fucking had to be NBA?

It's a 90% black league.

Yes, they do.

There's like six.

I just feel like it's the NBA is your guys' league.

Oh, your guys.

And I feel like the All-Star weekend is definitely black Thanksgiving.

It's a fun fucking weekend.

That's true.

It's really a good time.

Thanksgiving is much tastier.

Don't you like Black Thanksgiving?

I don't see color in Thanksgiving.

And the reason why I've given it to me, white chicks, to really put color into Thanksgiving.

Oh, really?

There's a white chick that wanted Thanksgiving.

Oh, you're a good black guy to ask.

Yeah.

So

that's so exciting.

Okay, so Madonna and Cher.

But Madonna and Cher have both been, their thing is both young, like good-looking black guys.

So do young

any, like, is it a thing, do you find these women attractive?

Do young black guys, are they just into are they into older white ladies?

Are they into older white ladies?

Look at this guy.

He's fucking 50 years younger.

Some of them are into opportunities.

Wow.

Okay.

That was what Annie said.

He said, we like money.

If you're going to toss the dick around, it's good to have some benefits from it.

That's so true.

I don't see anything wrong with that.

I don't ask an age that would even excite Madonna, but I understand on both sides.

She gets what she wants,

they get what they want.

Now, I know you've been close with Puff a long time.

Do you feel like he is gonna get out of this shit?

Or what's gonna happen there?

Because I remember you were always like, Hold on, my man Puff's on the phone, and then you would take calls.

Get him off the floor, D.

You need to be strong about this.

Be strong.

Have you been to Rikers yet to say hello?

Have you stopped by?

What I'll say is this:

as much as me being black and I understand how the white man always try to come down on us and

just fuck with us.

It's fun.

I get it.

There's been people that Caucasians

that have done worse.

And the black community, our biggest issue with Child Puffy Combs was a thousand bottles of baby oil.

And that's

the separation because you cannot explain that to the black community.

Yes.

That's the hardest thing to do.

The dildos and the oil.

He's not my boy.

He's not your boy.

Okay.

So how did you feel when your boy got shot in the ear?

Wow.

My guy?

I mean,

I was fucking...

I took a deep breath.

I was like, and then I was like, he's okay.

I was like, he's okay.

I was so scared for a second.

I was like,

did they get him?

We lit candles and everything.

Yeah.

I would have to say this, Tom.

When I came here, I didn't know you were actually going to be here.

Yeah.

And I saw you in the monitors and I was like, oh, it's the fucking eagle so much.

You did a.

No, I thought you had just a loop of you.

Oh, oh, Jesus.

No.

I just thought you could.

But I do like.

I do like that you did a very black thing, which is just walk in.

You know what I mean?

Like that was like, you're like, it's my place.

And you just fucking open that.

No, that voice was the worst.

Hey, man.

No, no.

Hey, hey, yeah.

Okay.

All right.

Okay.

Like, seriously?

Yeah.

Like, figuratively, like contextually, like metaphorically.

Hey, yo, hey, yo, watch this shit, man.

Hey, roll the camera.

Watch Watch this shit, man.

Pow!

What?

Hey, yo, ta!

Like, yeah, I feel.

Officer!

And I'm telling you, true to who I am, and I've been coined as the interrupter.

I like those sunglasses.

I like those glasses.

Thank you.

They make me feel good.

I will tell you this.

Yeah.

We just joke around, but I do appreciate you.

I appreciate you too, man.

Because, you know, this is some real shit.

There's a thing going around like when I perform, I bring heat to the stage.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

Yes.

That's true, right?

And a lot of people, be quite honest, a lot of people won't fuck with me.

And you know how this comedy game is.

Sometimes people will not share their platform with you if there's any case that you could fucking just go crazy.

Yeah.

And I'm telling you, when you said, Yo, D, you're going to be in Cancun.

Do you mind doing my show?

I was excited about that.

But I didn't know in the contract there was like you had to have a certain amount of black people to perform on your show to get paid.

So I don't know if it was for you to get the check

or it was for you respecting me as a stand-up.

I, first of all, I couldn't believe there was a black person in Mexico.

I didn't know you guys go there.

And then

go ahead and say, I respect this.

And then

I do actually very much admire.

I've seen you on these shows, and there's this thing where it's a real skill set.

Like, I knew you could, obviously, you can do whatever as a comic, but there is always something.

I think everybody who stands up respects it.

But for the white people.

That's what you do.

No, I was going to say just eat a bullet, meaning like go out first to a cold crowd

and get them going.

It is a skill set not everybody can do it and so i was actually very grateful that you would do that so you mean you gave me the shitty part of the show there was no other part of the show what are you talking about you was you're right about that that was just that just true to what you said true to what you said it was like that that it was weird it was weird as

it was a weird route you know what you know it's so funny you said take the bullet because i knew i had a certain amount of time right yeah and at the end of the day i knew i had to set it up for you yeah and also the reference finish i know it's your shit i just think the reference to bullets is something you'd probably be familiar with keep going

what dude i thought oh

Oh.

I thought that was just like a way.

It doesn't matter what I do for this motherfucker.

I mean, I don't want to do that.

I thought that's like hell.

Anyway, back to me, giving a fuck about your show.

I say, you know what?

You got a certain amount of time.

You're going to eat 10 minutes of that time just getting these people an order.

And with that, I knew what the job was.

I got on stage.

I messed with the audience.

So it was only like 10 minutes of real time before I got it, but I got it for you.

You did.

And I did that for one of your boys one time, too.

You did?

Joe Rogan.

I was with Dave.

I don't know if it was Canada or wherever we were.

It was supposed to be

Tony hit Tony, Joe Rogan, then me and Dave, right?

And it was one of those amphitheaters, and it was daytime.

That's how we normally roll, right?

So the thing was, Joe Rogan and Dave Spell, they are stars of the show.

If you give them the best time to perform, that's what you have to do.

So I was supposed to perform at a certain time, and I was ready because I knew we was going to get the show at the nighttime.

This was going to get the top, right?

And then Jeff from Live Nation, he came up to me.

You know, he walks like a penguin, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's very good.

He was like, Donnell, listen, I said, motherfucker, I already know.

Yeah.

You want to switch the lineup up, right?

You want to switch it.

I could have been a bitch and be like, no, I know that for Dave.

But I already knew.

I knew Joe wanted the room at the best part.

So I had, this is one of the...

one of the better sets I've had in my career.

I had to switch my spot, suck up my ego, and take that audience audience from daytime to nighttime.

Yeah.

For when the sun is setting.

And when I did it, it was like, it got dark.

And next thing you know, motherfucker Joe Ruggin came out.

Then Joe Rogan came out there and ate the room up.

Yeah.

I mean,

that is a gracious thing of you to do.

It really is.

And I mean, I'll tell you this.

No, you're very, very capable.

You're very talented.

The other thing I'll say, and I mean this in the gayest way possible.

No, listen, you smell really nice today.

I smell I smell nice.

Didn't I tell you this white boys will love this smell, son?

You smell good, bro.

Yeah, sure.

No.

We love you, Donnell.

We love you, Donnell.

I mean it in a gay way.

I love you.

What a nice drop-in.

That was really unexpected and a lot of fun.

It was a lot of fun.

No, that was great.

That was great.

That was amazing.

He's a sweetheart.

Okay.

Yes, my wife.

I have to wrap up because I have to go to

the other Estudio.

Estudio.

The production office, the P.O.

Estudio.

And next time we'll do my TikToks because I miss doing those.

Thank you to everybody for listening, watching.

Thank you to Donnell Rawlings for giving us the latest in Black News.

And we will see you guys next week.

Bye-bye.

TJ Dabmouth.

Sophie!

LinkedIn is helpful.

Yo, this shit is big time.

Shout out to everybody and stuff like that.

Linking Denny harasses me every fucking day.

Pend it, Penda, Pender, Bikes.

They call me Young Patreon.

Walking through your miles high with my shoes on.

Graduated from Huffington to Dono.

Cop me and Schwinder, I'm rotting trick though.

I keep a water bottle fit.

We're heading bunny.

I've been like a motherfucker around the city.

Motherfuckers ain't fazed me.

Gonna need a 10-speed just to chase me.

Cause I was 24-7, freak daniac.

Bout the shit in your mouth.

How you feel about that?

Hey, Hitler.

I know you're coming back with Lance Armstrong's nut in the chimney hat.

Put some respect on my name.

Young Patreon.

Button box and a day job.

They stop trying to pass me.

I'm making merry and far cause I gas.

I'm like Stevens to go with the karate shop.

Making motherfucking bodies dry.

What's it normal?

My pants on.

You need a rhythm.

I'm a buyer polynomeric guy, though.

Don't call me, he better call me day.

Gender B astral, I'm out of space.

Never seen a fellow pedal so fast.

Ever since grabbing molested your retarded ass.

My spokes chrome,

my bars chrome.

My rings crumb.

You know that we young.

My pedals are nice.

I'm wearing

You feel me?

You know what I'm talking about?

I'm saying

now everywhere I go, the people wanna know.

I tell them, listen up, I'll give you a tip.

If you put them up high, that'll do the trick.

Are you feeling this shit, gentlemen?

My eyeshow's harder than it's ever been.

Tryna fuck with me, man.

Throat's it's the killer.

I'm riding it high while I'm popping the wheeler.

Next stop, Brown talk.

Gotta pull the bike over just to pop a squad.

Make Brown feel it dripping down.

Top dog penny patted to the bathroom now.

Drop them drones, bout to get it on.

Boom, pound, surprise, it's a cherry bomb.

Hit him with the blaster.

Slack, splash, black.

He just painted the bowl and all that.

Burke Chrysler, so damn fat.

Make a motherfucker tire run flat.

Bikes!

All I have is bikes.

All I see is bikes.

I be riding bikes.

I be stealing bikes.

Hey, you just watched an episode of your mom's house.

I hope you enjoyed it.

And if not, watch another one.

Maybe you'll like that one.

They're everywhere.

Look, I don't know.

You place them in like cubes or squares or whatever this is.

Just click another one.

Maybe you'll find one you like.

Or someone will get hurt, and everybody likes that.

Don't forget to subscribe.