Bobby Is the Michelin Man

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You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting. You two are something.
We're bad friends. What's Yagsi Yabor? Yagsi Yabor is my friend.
He's from Israel and he's dead. Oh, man.
I'm just improvising. Yeah, no.
That's not a bad thing. That has nothing to do with the conflict.
No. Yagsi Yabor, you are like your funny hat.

Yagsi Yabor.

Where have you been?

You're gone for a while.

You don't answer your phone.

Yeah.

Yagsi Yabor.

Yeah.

Yagsi Yabor.

I love the sand in your eyes.

Yagsi Yabor.

Yagsi Yabor. Yagsi Yabor.
I like the sand in your face. Youraxi, Yabora.
Yaxi, Yabora.

Yaxi, Yabora. I like the scent in your face.
Your green card got denied.

Yaxi,

Yabora. Yaxi,

Yabora.

Yaxi, Yabora.

Where are your arms now?

Yaxi,

Yabora. Yaxi,

Yabora.

Yaxi, Yabora Yaxi Yabora Yaxi Yabora The yard bone is gone He's eating yard bones dude I don't know dude I'm in the cosmic creative space You're up here First word that good. A chicken? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's go science though. You.
Molecules. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maths. Go.
Da Vinci's code. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, we're on it, dude.
Shock me, dude. Shock you with something? Shock me with something.
What do you mean? Give me another one. Yeah.
Bloody discharge. No.
No? No, I don't want to hear about Carlos's exam. Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, yucks. I went to the doctor.
He said, I have to stay away from people like Carlos. That's literally what the doctor said.
Yeah? He said, a big fan of the show, watch the podcast, stay away from Carlos because he hasn't had a tetanus shot in years. Yes.
You're up. Yeah, I haven't been tested in a while too.
Let's get in there, bud. I went to bud I went to Let's get in there bud I went to the Sherman Oaks Spearmint Rhino last night At like one in the morning I was so lonely I was sitting I was watching You know how I keep watching Great British Breakoff So good So I was season 8 again Right And I'm like I know who gets You know every episode I know who gets You know what I mean The Star Baker I know who gets You know what I mean And I'm like, I know who gets, you know, every episode, I know who gets, you know what I mean? The Starbaker, I know who gets, you know what I mean? The handshake.
Let go, I know who gets the handshake. Yeah.
And I was sitting there, and my penis was out. At Great British Bake Off? No, no, no.
No, I was watching it. I was just naked.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
And I'm sitting there slumped over watching it and going, yeah, I'm going. You gotta go.
Yeah, so I went in there went in there and there was only four people working yep it's almost as if it was not even open was it a 4 p.m when you went no it was one in the morning i said you don't listen to you guys i've been at 4 p.m before i can't tell you why why what are you doing at 4 p.m in a strip club about 20 years ago There was a group of comics Male comics That would go on lunch runs Oh yeah lunch runs to the strip club And we would go on lunch runs They got good wings I love the prime rib When they're naked up there and you're eating prime rib There is nothing better than seeing a nice pair of boobs and having potatoes out gotten yeah with a little bit of filet a little little filet on the side yeah but last night i went and i literally was like i just left how much money do you spend when you i think i got like 200 dollars worth of bills and i was just kind of not even looking at the women just kind of throwing it on stage looking around my environment and going oh this is not good not good yeah so i got Yeah, so I got back in the car and went. How many, you got in 20s, you were just throwing 20s or singles? Why? You think I'm cheap? No, big bells.
No, I do, but I do a lot of singles. Oh, you do singles? So I'll do like $40 of singles in one dancer.
Just give them 20s at some point then. Yeah, but I want them to know that there's more coming.
If you throw out a 20 and then that's what they do you're like oh there's you can't go past that so if you go 12 right and then you look at them go they go then they go what in their with their eyes right and i go you want more right a little more and they go i do want show me Right? And then they do it And I go There's two more Right? Something something Then they put their head Behind their head like that Ooh Right Behind the head Right? And then they You know what I mean? What is that? Press the elevator button? Guess what this is I call it the elevator Yeah Ding dong It's like a clit It's a clit Pressing eight On an elevator Take it up to eight? Yeah yeah I. I go, take it up to eight.
And he go, eight. Right? Eight.
And then I pretend I'm going up. I always do.
I always pretend I'm going up, right? Bring. And then the door opens.
I go, oh, wrong floor. Press it again.
And they press 12, right? Right. I go back up.
You know what I mean? So it's like, you know, that kind of thing. Do you get there ever to your floor? No, I never do.
You never get to your floor. Well, it's a large building.

It's a big building.

It's all building, dude.

It's 3,000 stories up.

Whoa.

Yeah, yeah.

And I've never got to like 1,000.

No, you can't.

You can.

Oh, you can.

One will.

Okay.

One will.

I bring change when I go to the strip club.

Really?

You throw pennies up there?

No, quarters.

Oh, yeah.

That's very generous of you.

Quarters?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, think about it. You're throwing a dollar.
It's only four quarters. That's true.
If I throw 50 quarters up there, I look like a king. That's true, but they have to pick it up.
Yeah, you got to work sometimes. Hard to pick up on a stage.
They get the sweeper out. You ever seen the little sweeper? Yeah.
Little Mexican sweeper guy? When was the last time you went? We went to Bandon Dunes with a bunch of buddies to go on the golf trip. And I went to this, look at the, watch how wild this is.
Go to bachelor's in. No, no, no.
Right. Type in bachelor's in Coos Bay.
C O O S. Coos Bay.
Look at this fucking joint. Look at the park.
Look at the photos outside. Just get the outside of it.
Just look at the outside of it. Wow.
Wow. You see that there's a strip club or they're making like lamp fixtures they do factory look at that photo you never know look at that you think somebody's ever been murdered there exactly do you remember the dark night do you remember the dark night this was my dark night that was your dark night yeah that was one of my darkest nights you know sometimes there's like different you remember the joker bane was there by the way oh he was oh he was there yeah yeah yeah but he's back to a private room i'd like to see your coochie yeah yeah i would i could bring my green hat as the riddler you got you gotta bring you know when they bring me like you know coffee i make a little question mark oh yeah to let them know I do Put me coffee, I make a little question mark.
Yeah, to let them know. I do.
Put foam in there, I'll make a question mark. Oh, the riddle-ro.
Riddle me this a better man. But it's a dead industry.
What do you think? Dude, I think it's alive and well. I hate going to them.
It's always with a group of guys and someone goes, let's go to the strip club. And then I go.
I fucking hate it. The whole time, I stay by the bar.
I'm not interested. I don't like that thing.
It's uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable.
I don't like it. I like it.
Speaking of which, I watched a Nora. Oh, yeah.
So you called me. So I get a call from Andrew late at night.
Yeah. I was like, I called you around midnight.
Yeah. And usually when that happens, it's an emergency.
Yeah. Right? Like, I can't make something.
Yeah, I got a bail. I feel sick, or I got dizzy and I hit my head on the toilet.
Yeah, something like that. And he goes, hey, guy, have you seen Anora? And I go, no, I haven't quite gotten to it.
And he goes, I'm halfway through it. Don't like it.
I'm pissed. I was pissed a two an hour 20 minute movie it's two that's not that long dude it's not a this isn't like a murder mystery it's not like a fucking drama it's a long-winded story about a girl who gets taken advantage of it's fuck i couldn't do it i heard it's i heard it's like um pretty woman pretty woman was such a good fucking- That's a great movie, but is it the same premise of Pretty Woman?

In a new age sense, I guess.

Yeah, we love that old story.

Yeah, but there's no gear.

This kid is in gear.

This kid is in gear.

Oh my God, look at that twink.

That's a case scenario.

Who was the woman in Pretty Woman?

Juliana Roberts.

Right?

Rudy Juliana Roberts?

No, no, no.

Julia Roberts.

I'm just kidding. Who was the woman in Pretty Woman? Juliana Roberts.
Right? Rudy Juliana Roberts? No, no, no. Julia Roberts.
Julia Roberts. Yeah, yeah.
And Richard Gere. You got what I said.
I said it weird and you got what I said. I know.
You got it moved on. That's how we do it.
Okay. Julia Roberts, Richard Gere.
Come on, man. These are like- I call him Richard Garry.
Richard Gere. That was a good movie.
Jason Alexander was it was it remember i couldn't oh yeah classic i couldn't do this it just was too long it was sad okay she shows she shows she gets they're having sex in this movie no less than 20 times but you can't jerk off because it's sad it's sad sex it's sad well no the whole movie's sad but is it sad sex no some of it's fun well then good you can't jerk off i guess she she gets naked in it a dozen times really i mean at least a dozen wow i can't watch it they got the oscar they did they got an oscar for it but so um you didn't like it did you i liked it but i am on the minority yeah i hate you dude also bad taste in. Jaime Garcia, you know, the guy that's on my other one.
Yeah. He goes, hey, bro, it's a good movie.
He literally thought it was a good movie. Look, a lot of people liked it.
Is it simple? Because you and I are sophisticated. You and I are Siskel Ebert in the future.
Thank you, baby. Yeah, we do triple thumbs.
Triple thumbs up. Yeah, and toes.
Up or down. I don't know what I did.
What did you like about it then?

I think the world was so vivid

that he was able to picture it. Oh, the world is vivid.

Oh my God. See what I mean?

Put a Korean screen in the back. You can make anything vivid.

He's vivid. Yeah, I could put fucking

face ships in the background.

It was very real. It's a world that I don't

know anything about. Some movies are real.
Have you ever seen

fucking American Beauty, dude? Beautiful.

Beautiful movie and real. You ever seen American

Gangster? Real. Real.
Anything American. Everything American.
American Pie. American Graffiti.
Real. American Graffiti.
American Anora. That's not what it's called.
That's not what it's called, buddy. Here was my thing with it.
I understand what you're saying. Yeah, it was real because it took real people, but's shown in a lot of the acting yeah yeah it's uncomfortable it's like i don't why don't i don't want to watch people off the street act that can't act there's like you have like actor actors then you have regular people and then they're like isn't this great and it's like i don't i don't know just hire someone that's i don't know there's a lot of movies a lot of movies that people have seen that tell me to watch it yeah And I've never seen it.
I just don't feel right. I don't feel right.
Like, I've never seen, I swear to God, I bought it. Broback Bonk Mountain.
What? That's such a lie. I swear, I've never seen Broback Mountain.
I swear to God. Ang Lee, it's so good.
I know. I know it's good.
I just haven't, have you seen it? I haven't gotten around to it. I actually have not seen it.
Better than that witchery. Richy tree.
Bada bada bada bada bada richy tree. Bada bada bada richy tree.
Young siabor. Young siabor.
Shut the fuck up, Andrea. You don't even know how to speak English.
Shut up, dude. That's not a sentence in any language.
You gotta take away your fucking green card. Get the fuck out of here, dude.
The fuck out of my country, man. Here's another one.
La La Land I've never seen. I didn't see that either.
But I did. See, that's what I'm saying.
You and I. Well, you know I wasn't going to see that.
Yeah, but why can't we? It's good, I heard. I don't like musicals.
Dude. You don't even want to get.
We talked about this before. You don't want to get me started.
I don't like musicals. Yeah.
I just can't do it. Can I say something about Grease? As a minority, this is minority talk.
Give it to me. It freaks me out when white people do gibberish.
I'll give you an example. Please.
I'm a kid in the theaters. Saw it in the 70s or whatever.
Right? Sitting with all my kids, friends, right? Look at them. Right? It's the last song we go together like shama lama lama give me anything once i ran out of theater it's it's fucking speaking of tons it's devil worship what are you doing dude i don't like it so the way you talk normally yeah yeah that's what you're doing you do jibber jabber you do jibber jabber fucking white shit dude i don't like it yeah yeah i agree because it does come from some weird and no one's that happy no one's that happy you're happy no everyone no one's that happy no black people well that's why they're so happy all right that's good but my point is okay so um i've talked about this before but um this is jersey baby yeah where is this supposed to take place again where is greece supposed to take place yeah where is it that's actually oh what do i mean they don't they race in the los angeles aqueduct aren't they in the LA aqueduct at some point in that movie?

Set in Rydell High School in Los Angeles.

Right, because they go into the LA River.

What part?

This guy, what part?

The car race.

Is this Malibu?

Like there's no minorities?

Not a single Mexican?

Yeah, not one Mexican in the movie.

LA.

LA, dude.

That's supposed to be, that's right.

That's insane.

You got a race for my girl, Sandy D.

Yeah, yeah.

What? But there's a scene in it

So, let's right. That's insane.
You got raised, you got raised from my girl,

Sandy D.

Yeah,

yeah.

What?

But there's a scene in it,

I've talked about this before,

but maybe not in Bad Friends,

but it's something that I need to,

you probably won't catch it.

Give it to me.

I'm sitting there again,

before the,

before the,

before all the gibberish.

I'm watching it,

right?

Yeah.

And there's the famous sleepover scene with the pink ladies.

Pink ladies.

You remember?

Yeah, yeah.

Right.

And one of the girls goes, this is my boyfriend, you know what I mean?

Doing this.

This is my boyfriend doing this.

And then she goes, this is my boyfriend in Korea.

And they go, ooh, you're dating a Korean?

And she goes, no, silly.

He's in the Marines.

Yeah.

I'm watching that as a kid.

I'm like, fuck this.

Fuck this shit.

What is this shit, dude?

That's the most racist thing.

Show me that scene.

Maybe I exaggerated my mind because I think I did look it up.

It's not that bad.

But it's something like that.

But it sounds like that.

To me, it sounded like that. And I remember the kids looking at me like yeah we're disgusting no one wants to date us i'm on the same page because it's the men in redheaded film always bad the women lucille ball phenomenal a queen you know what i mean but sexy huh sexy yeah but i'm just saying like women isla fisher all these redheaded women in television film they're praised the men are always nerd dork squimp what about gleason's son the guy that was in star wars what's his name oh yeah what's his name who we don't even listen his last name you mean brendan gleason no no his son yeah but we don't even know you don't yeah he's famous yeah yeah he's very talented okay and he did it but he did a love movie too where he was a romance what was that called not famous enough for it to be a thing time traveling dude he's so famous what are you talking about no he's not you didn't even know his fucking name last name gleason yeah because of his dad okay okay okay my point is we've never had male redhead uh heroic representation.
It's always a bit.

There's the redhead.

There's Pizza Face.

Redhead movie star.

Look, they're all fucking women.

Jessica Chastain, Isla Fisher, Bryce Dallas Howard.

Oh, what I would do with her.

Look at that, though.

Not one guy.

Carol Burnett.

All these are heroes. Did you put sexy, just in general, redheaded actors?

It says movie stars.

Redhead movie stars. Oh, my God.
Let's go down the line. There's got to be one guy.
Proof is in the pudding, dude. Dude, you're right.
Allison Hannigan, Rita Hayworth. You guys are ugly.
Thank you. Thank you.
Yeah. Ellie Kemper, Molly Ringwald.
Look at these people. By the way, these are all beloved characters.
Not one of these is a fucking guy. But in Greece, if they would have said that, redhead? This is the greatest proof I've ever had in my entire life.

That's, that you did,

it's a good point.

Jesus Christ.

Yeah.

In Greece what?

In the movie Greece, right?

Still, they used the Korean thing.

They would never use redheaded.

No, no, no.

In Greece, they would have gone,

you're with a redhead.

They'd go,

eh!

Oh, and they'd go,

don't tell anyone, please.

Oh.

I just want to fuck him for a week

and then dump him by the LA River

while we're there. When we do Greece lightning.
Shem-a-lam-a-lam-a-lam-a-lam-a-lam-a-lam-a-lam But I want to say this, and I've seen this many times, and you can't disagree. Many shows we've done together on the road, I sometimes go out in the audience and watch you.
You always go out in the audience because you want to see if I'm going to do bad. That's not what it is.
That's insane, dude. Carlos knows.
Carlos just winked at that. No, he doesn't know that.
That's not true. And take that back.
Take that back right now. You do this thing.
Five percent. You're doing what.
You're doing what he's doing. You do do do.
Yeah, what's going on? You do this thing that Trump does. Oh, here we go.
No, no, it's good. You do it.
You do it really well, though. What? Tell me like.
Tell me like. I think I know what you're talking about.
Say you like. You hate cheesecake.
Be like, oh, I hate cheesecake. I don't like cheesecake.
No, just say it like you. Say it like you.
I don't like cheesecake. That's because you've never had the best cheesecake you don't know about cheesecake people like you you do that where like immediately the opposite side you just give me one example like when i did you just did it tell me give me go back go out there you go out there to see if i do bad you go but i i'd never i've never ever done that i would never yeah wouldn't.
You go out there and you go like this. You go, do bad.

Every time I go out there though,

there's always a hot woman

that will either get up from the chair

and walk up to me

and they'll always say,

yeah, your boy's hot.

Is it woman by birth?

What do you mean?

Is it woman by birth?

No, they're really traditional women.

Traditional?

From the Christian sense.

They cook and they clean? Yeah. In the Christian sense, that they are beautiful women.
Yeah. And I've probably 30 or 40 times in my life, they've said, your boy is hot.
Yeah. And you've never gotten that from me.
So fuck off. That's not true.
Name me one example when a girl goes, I think your boy's hot. Oh, girl.
Well, no. Okay.
Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
We have a lot of guys that like you, though. The amount of men that have a crush on you is staggering.
I can tell by my Facebook. I'm on a Facebook, you know what I mean? Dating thing.
You know, Facebook is a dating thing. No, I have no idea.
For old people? Yeah, I think it's for old people. But it's like, there's also dating and social friends.
So when I click on who wants to be my friend, it's 2000 just buff tattooed fucking dudes going, I want to be your friend. What's it called? Facebook date, huh? Yeah.
Dating Facebook. Yeah.
It's a real thing. But you're celibate now.
Yeah, 100%. No more.
No more. No more dating, nothing.
Nothing. I'm celibate.
I would love to see a financial breakdown of you when you're dating and when you're not dating, how much money spend on a dating month versus a non-dating month well I spent like $500 at Spearmint Runner last night you said $200 I gotta dance too Nick NYKD Nick nicotine pouches guys yeah you want a cool flavor in your mouth I do with a little bit of nicotine i do to ease your day right we have flavors like citrus ice berry lemon ice spearmint wintergreen they're all good crisp mint i love crisp mint dude i like crisp in general yeah you're a big crispy yeah yeah and strawberry watermelon ice nick a step above any other pouches. They use the best ingredients for cleaner, more refined experience.
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Andrew, we're talking about booking in-network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty from mental health to dental health, primary care to urgent care, and more. Yep.
We're old. Yeah.
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bad friends promo code space 80 you gotta get a dance do you like the dances what do you say

when they're dancing i'm so funny i make everyone laugh so hard You're cracking jokes? Oh yeah You're doing material? Yeah I go like one girl was Uh oh hot dog No no no I don't do that This girl was like Looking up at the ceiling Yeah Is there a ghost? Is that your grandfather? Right And she goes What are you talking about? You keep looking up there You know what I mean? You communicating with your fucking family? While she's riding's riding yeah yeah she's like no silly you know i mean i make people laugh well that i mean then they then it's more endearing and i always go up front i always go you know i'm gonna give you a tip she's haven't done anything i know but i'm gonna let you know that i have her tip so you can go extra just in terms of gyrating and stuff yeah more gyration yeah i like gyrations but anyway um yeah i'm, I'm going through a phase right now. I think that...
A couple of things. I went and saw Bong.
Let's talk about that photo you sent me. What photo? You never looked that happy with me.
You with Bong Joon-ho? That's the happiest thing I've ever seen. Are you an Academy Award winning winning director what now you sound like him I know I know that's how that's how that feels you know what it is Bong makes you nervous huh he made me nervous yeah he's incredible but so there was you have the photo bring up that photo of him and Bong but can I tell you can I tell you the embarrassing thing that happened and I left early I know you called me did I tell you what happened you called me on the phone and I was like, you should just go back.
No, so I'm sitting there. So I'm with Scoot and Soce.
You're with Soce Bacon. Yeah, yeah.
And Scoot, he was in, I forgot Scoot's last name. He was in A Complete Unknown.
Woody Guthrie. He played Woody Guthrie.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, Scoot's so talented, right? So Scoot and I, so I'm standing there with Bong.
I me i'm gonna get to a story and then i take a photo with bong i meet his son everyone's super nice to me and one of his producers producers like maybe we'll use in something something like this he's never gonna happen but anyway so then now scoot gets in and so me and so me and fucking so see back up so we're just talking amongst are you listening no okay you already told me this story yeah yeah so i'm telling you the story so we're sitting talking and then this director comes up i'm gonna tell you who it is say it i i she told me he was a director i didn't even know who he was so he walks up and he goes and i forgot what it was but he goes i love you in dilithium or something like that to me i go oh thank you you were good in dilithium and he goes so then he goes my daughter especially likes your performance in that you know you're really good i go oh yeah good and so i lean up and grab a taco from like somebody with a tray and then so Sosi goes, what are you getting so nervous about?

I'm like, nothing.

The director's still there.

And she goes, was it live action or animation?

I go, live action.

And then the guy goes, no, it was animation.

He goes, you weren't in that, were you?

And I go, no.

And he goes, why'd you lie?

I go, I don't know what else to do.

He leaves.

Sosi's red as a- You didn't do anything wrong.

Yes, I did. I wasn't in Dylithium or whatever.
Yes, you't do anything wrong yes i did i wasn't in dilithium or whatever yes you were in dilithium i could have just said you you're mistaken i was right but like why did i say yes because you were in dilithium i wasn't he doesn't remember yeah anyway and then it was so awkward me and so see and i and i got mad at her like if you would hadn't asked yeah if it was live action or animation right let it go i grabbed to get a taco from the thing that was your out she said i didn't read it i go yeah you should have you should have you fucked me but also who asks was it live action or animation who gives a shit she buried you because she was nervous too because she knew that you weren't in dilithium that's why she knew your credits she goes bobby wasn't i wonder what it was called i maybe i'll text her but um anyway so i'm this is oh so this this is more remarkable this is more remarkable okay okay can i tell yeah so um so you know these god dude it's all zimping. It's tough.
It's not vomit. I know.
It's just pure vomit air. Vomit air.
It's vomit air. Yeah, from over there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry.
Yeah, I'm skipping. All right.
So what I'm saying is that... Give me the chills.
So these... Sometimes I get invited to fancy Asian events.
Yeah. You know what I mean? You do.
Like mafia shit. Like this.
This is mafia shit. So I'm

walking to this event. This Korean guy

nice. Super nice.

Such a sweet guy. He comes to me and he goes, dude

you're a legend. That's what he says to me.

Ah, shucks. Come on.

Shucks. That's what we say.
Shucks.

Shucks. You know?

He goes, actually, I went to high school

with your boy Andrew.

And I go, oh yeah? But like not in the same class. He goes, no, same class.
No, same class. Yeah.
Oh, cool. And he goes, actually, I went to high school with your boy, Andrew.
And I go, oh, yeah? But not in the same class. He goes, no, same class.
No, same class. Yeah.
Oh, cool. And he goes, I don't know if he knows me.
What the fuck? Of course I know him. I know, but that's what he said.
He goes, I don't know if he remembers me. Remembers me, yeah.
But I go, well, how close were you? He goes, we're on the same basketball. We play basketball together.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
That's amazing. Doug.
Doug, right? Doug, suck. Yeah.
And Yeah and I go Well has Andrew reached out to you Since you've been like No No and what Then did you say Have you reached out to him And what did he say You're in the position of power You should reach out First of all He's a very powerful producer in Hollywood You told him yourself He just turned powerful Okay Okay You're not getting what I'm saying dude See this No no no This is No, no, no, no, this is not Trump. This is not Trump.
What you don't understand. No, because- What you don't understand.
No, that's just because you- You could control- You could reach out to Doug Suck. No.
You should be reaching out. That's not what I'm doing.
Why aren't you reaching to Doug? All right, all right, anyway. Is it because he's Asian? Can I ask you guys this, though, right? Are there positions of power? Like, for instance, at the event,ong walked up to me i didn't walk up to bong oh hot shot fancy bob no no i'm just bong walks up to me that's not how i said it i wait people walk up to me i don't walk up to people dude it's so good i swear to fucking it's working it's working you you are anyway you do trumpian shit so he shit you're just deflecting they walk up to me because of how poorly you treated this man he literally called me and Bobby goes I asked him have you talked to Andrew he goes no I haven't really reached out he probably doesn't even know I'm out here don't get mad what you said.
But don't get mad about this next part.

Please don't get mad about this. Go ahead.

And I don't want this to be cut out, Andreas,

because sometimes the truth must be told.

Yeah, tell the truth.

Okay.

Yeah.

So he goes, oh, what is he doing there?

I go, he's, I think he produced Minori,

the Steven Yeun movie.

And this guy goes, interesting.

Oh my.

As if to go. Maybe I didn't didn't I should have he's done wrong here is that what I said this is this is really good of you lying I'm really not done I go he produced Minori and then you go I don't know man I don't fucking look it up I don't fucking know so then I looked it up going he did that's wild yeah but when he did he went hmm the tone was this maybe

i fucked this up no no first of all i want to be a bad lie bad lie i want to be maybe he reached out now yeah maybe he reached out now shut the fuck up shut the fuck up dude shut the fuck up no you know what i thought let's move on i thought that's interesting that he produced minority i I want to rip it up.

Do you hear it though?

No.

My point is.

You're wrong.

You are wrong.

My point is you are wrong my point is I didn't know he was a producer he'd gone to the town been here for years no connection right well we weren't we weren't friends how are you not friends with somebody you're on a basketball team with my high school had 3,000 people what the fuck there's 3,000 people on a basketball team? What kind of basketball is this?

We played on the team.

We played on the school.

Are you friends with anybody you wrestled with?

There's 400 center forwards.

Are you friends with anybody you wrestled with?

400 center forwards, fucking 1,000 guards.

You're the worst gaslighter of all time.

What the fuck are you talking about, dude?

Are you friends with anybody you wrestled with?

We also happen to have 150 coaches.

Are you friends with anybody you wrestled with?

Are you friends with anybody?

All of them.

Tony Matusi. Call him.
What? Call him right now. Yeah, yeah.
Call Tony. Art Kimball.
Call him. I know the name.
I dare you to call one of them. And if Art Kimball lived in LA, I'd know it.
Call one of them. And if Art Kimball fucking produced Yellowstone, I'd be in that shit.
Call him. All right? You fucker.
Call him. No.
I would be the yellow in the stone. You're a gaslighting fucking liar.
You're a fucking liar, dude. You're not friends with anybody.
And you're a deceiver. You're not even friends with anybody now.
And you're not even fucking real. You're not even a good friend now.
Anyway, let's move on. Let's move on.
Our Kimball was arrested from Poway High School, competed in that 191 weight pound class fifth round. Exactly.
Thank you. Yeah.
Yeah, no. How do I not know? Tony Matusi.
Look up Tony Matusi. What's his phone number? What? Bring in his phone number.
I want to see the last time you texted with him. I don't need to text him.
He lives in my house. In a spare room.
Anyway. Like you're friends with everyone you went to school with? That's insane.
That's insane. But I know.
I know who he was too. I said I knew him.
And if I'm... Listen.
No, no, no. Fuck you.
You don't get to do that. You don't get to do that to me.
Let's calm ourselves for a second. I want to be the voice of reason.
Okay. And I want to calm this level down.
Yeah, do it. No, see, I need your attitude to be different.
Fuck you. See, that, that.
I'll do what I want, bitch. Just do the Chicago thing.
You know what I mean? The streets thing. So what I want to say is this.
Stop. Calm down.
I'm from the suburbs. How come you didn't connect with this guy from high school from 25 years ago? We don't fucking know each other.
We didn't fucking. I don't know anybody went to high school i know three people from high school you weren't friends with certain kinds of people in high school that's true that's true let me can i ask you another question another question sure i kept without anger i kept it right for i kept it uh white right how many how many koreans were at your school in high school i don't even fucking know that.
That's right. A pretty good amount.
You didn't know. There were more black and Indians.
He didn't know because he didn't like them. Well, I definitely- There are 62,000 Korean in Chicago.
That's nothing. He would have never known.
62 grand is nothing. That's right.
It's like an anomaly. So if there was a unicorn on my fucking wrestling team, I would know the unicorn.
Trump. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you, dude. That.
If there was a unicorn, I would know it. If there's three unicorns.
I know unicorn. I know the one unicorn.
That's what I'm saying. I used to be friends with unicorns.
They're the greatest of corns. So if you have one Korean on your fucking basketball, how many Koreans play basketball? Almost none.
It's like having Doc play fucking badminton. You know what I mean? I would know if Doc played badminton.
him yeah yeah yeah maybe that's my point is the one korean of all of illinois played basketball you would put that ingrained in your mind he's not even korean that's the worst part about he is korean no he's not what is he he's half that's right well the other half what's the other half god knows and that's why you don't know him him. I get it.
Yeah. Doug, if you're listening.
He's not. Yeah, he is.
He's producing Minori too. Okay.
Anyway, Doug, good to meet you. And maybe we can do some work together.
Yeah, Doug, how come you didn't reach out to me, buddy? You come to my fucking city, you don't reach out to me? I don't know. It's power dynamics, but let's move on.
What's power dynamics? Oh, gosh. You keep saying that you keep saying I'll tell you that's something you take pride in you really like power dynamics I love it I love what you're doing oh this is this kind of episode we haven't done one of these in a while okay here we go this is what you do though I'll tell you you love power dynamics if I have to teach you things I must teach you things yeah go ahead about power dynamics I was in Dallas a week ago remember I do right I went to teach you things, I must teach you things.
Yeah, go ahead. How about power dynamics? I was in Dallas a week ago, remember? I do.
Right. I went to a 12-step meeting.
It's a local, you know. Afterwards, you know, people smoke outside, right? And I go, hey, you guys want a fellowship? That's what we do.
So we all went to a Denny's. Me and these local AA people.
Was there nothing else open? Yeah, there wasn't. It was late, right? And then I got the bill And they were all like Hey dude there's eight of us I go I know power dynamics We don't know that I go yeah it's like I had to give them this example It's like when you take Eight other addicts to a Denny's After You've seen an AA And you're the richest one No what I was saying Could you listen to my point? That's what it is So if I go out to eat with David Spade I have never paid It's just the power dynamics of the situation See that's foolish It's not foolish I pay with Spade Every time I offer he says no I just hand her my card before he can Okay well you're ruining the power dynamics So you don't understand I believe in equal pay I believe power dynamics.
I believe in equal pay. I believe in equal pay.
Okay, so you believe in equal pay. Equal pay.
I'm going to do it too. Do it.
All right, so, okay, well, McCone, after this, let's go to Mastro's and you pay for the bill. He can now.
He can afford it. No, he can't.
Yeah, he can.

Would you be able to afford $500 to pay for all three of us?

I could.

It would be a damper. A damper.

But there would be a thing in your mind.

Why am I paying?

Exactly.

But you have to learn.

No, it's not about learning.

No, that's how life is.

You have to learn.

You have to pay.

It would force me to work harder and become a better person.

And that's why he's-

And that's the America I love. harder Work harder Okay So listen Alright You're his boy For life And I get it Okay I get it Let's move on now Because I'll tell you I'll tell you We went from Grease Yeah To dog To power dynamics We went toics.
It went to Grease to Doug and it was too much.

So let's go back to musicals.

That's fine.

Okay, we don't like it.

There's some movies that I have not seen that were classics.

That are musicals?

No, in general, like Eyes Watched Shut, I've never seen it.

What?

Well, that's a little strange.

Is it good?

How come you've not seen that?

I've never seen it.

That's a good movie.

I just don't like masks at parties.

No, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah.
What? No. Yeah, you do.
Yeah, you do. COVID masks? Yeah, I don't want to get sick.
And your eyes are wide shut. Okay.
Okay. No.
That joke really hit me at home. It hit.
Because it was good. It worked.
It did work. The kid's got some zingers.
He got some zingers,

but it was real brutal.

It was.

Well, hit him back.

I won't because that's not who I am.

That's not who I am.

What?

Power dynamic.

Power dynamic.

You don't punch down.

You don't punch down.

You only punch up.

But that was very funny.

Thank you.

Eyes wide shut.

Okay.

Fancy's looking good, by the way.

He looks,

not the hair.

The hair does look good.

The hair looks good. I think it does look good and and also yes wait yes wait just wait what yes wait for me to be the hottest man on the show but you know we know the genetics so yeah so you can do whatever you want you know botox fill your head out so you don't think he's a handsome guy at all no matter what he does he's sort of like a UN kind of a look you do look political right now you know what I mean like you know somebody that not even the head guy around the circle no he's at the embassy some embassy but he's like the fifth row of a guy taking notes.

You're not a leader, but you're involved.

You probably make about $90,000 a year internationally.

Consular.

Yeah, that's like a consular.

Consular today, they have to submit this parking ticket.

Yeah, he does a lot of paper pushing.

Hey, they found this mummy with gold.

Look up. We're going to talk about Giza too, about the Giza.
About Gaza, yeah. No, Giza.
Huh? The Giza pyramid. Oh, the Giza pyramid.
You know what happened, right? No, what happened? Wait, wait. You don't know what happened? What happened in Giza? Do you guys know what happened? No.
Are you fucking out of your minds, dude? Just Google it. What happened in Giza? The pyramids.
Did they fall? No, dude. But they found...
Oh, the under... Yeah, the under.
The under. Okay, I don't know if it's fucking true.
It is true. What is this? A vast underground city was found below Egypt's Giza pyramid.
Look at the pillars. Surprise, surprise.
Look at the pillars, though. Do they look like 9-11? No, look at the pillars.
Twin towers. All right.

So what they discovered,

zoom into that photo.

There's two mile long,

these fucking tubes that go down

with these spiral staircases that go down

into other compartments two miles down.

Two miles?

Two miles down, dude.

Google that.

Two miles.

Go to the article so I can read.

It's in kilometers. I don't know the...
Oh, two kilometers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How many miles down is it? Okay. Speculating an entire city buried under the Great Pyramids of Giza.
Speculating. Right.
Okay. A team of Italian and Scottish scientists? I'm out.
No, no. Okay, zoom back up.
There has to be a city underneath the Giza. I mean, come on.
No, that's very funny. The Italians? You're very good at accents.
So this is what they discovered. Shit.
Okay? What is that? And they have technology where they have, you know, infrared technology where they can scan things. And this is what they're scanning.
The technology is legit. Go to the article, please.
Okay. Just so we can see this., this is incredible If this is real, this is wild

It's incredible

And Italian-esquiet scientists have unveiled the shocking results of the research about the pyramids of Giza in Egypt

4,500 year old, one of the world team claims that there's an entire city buried underneath the pyramids

An entire city

Wow

Yeah

Experimental research, the Carafe project

And let's see here, 3D images go down a little bit

You can see, wow, how they built stairs around the pillars, huh?

Yeah

I'm going to go. to research the carafe project uh and let's see here 3d images go down a little bit you can see wow how they built stairs around the pillars huh yeah 3d model was these tubes are the most interesting part 420 miles above the wait the team relied on two satellites 420 miles in outer space to come down go down i want to see how far down they they hang? 6,500 feet across.
They go down approximately 2,100 feet. How much is that? 2,100 feet is just under like a half a mile.
Okay, I was wrong. Half a mile is long.
Dude, it's a half a mile is so long. Yeah.
It's so long. That's so fucking deep.
Okay, so. 2,000 feet underground is insane.
Right.

And then below that, though, are these other buildings.

Dr. Zahehoas, a prominent archaeologist.

He's my favorite doctor, by the way.

Well, you're not going to like him after this.

Former minister of antiquities called out the research, said it was completely wrong and was fake news.

Yeah, I don't like him.

And it's methodology.

Yeah, yeah.

He said it's not correct.

One guy.

Yeah. I mean, Rogan talks about it, and he's usually right.

Is he?

That's why he's didn't believe it.

Professor Lawrence Connors, a professional geophysical archaeologist

and ground-penetrating radar expert,

dismissed the theory of vast city under the pyramids.

It's just a huge exaggeration.

So a lot of these guys are saying no, no.

Okay.

But, however, I believe you. So if you tell me it's there, I believe it's there.
Well, I've been doing a lot of these guys are saying no no okay but however i believe you so if you tell me it's there i believe it's there well i've been doing a lot of researching on my own time you do you are yeah and um via through the internet right via the internet right via the internet and i've come to a conclusion i believe that it's um half correct at least would you ever live in an underground city i have dreams about it you do oh my god i think about it all city? I have dreams about it. You do? Oh my God.
I think about it all the time. Yeah.
I have dreams about it. Like in the way that Goonies found that waterfall and the go, I wanted that so bad.
Me too. What would you have down there? Oh my God.
Oh, me too. So collection of so many fun things.
Well, so I would. Just a wall of dildos to use whenever you need them.
No. That's not it.
What I would do is if I had a city, I would have one area where it would look like outside. Oh.
So basically. It would look like above ground, you mean? Above ground, like, so I would have like panels, right? Like, you know, IMAX.
Tricking people into thinking they're outside. To thinking that it's outside.
Absolutely. Because I'm going to have dogs down there, right? So I'll have my dogs down there.
Can they survive? Yeah, because it's going to be vast. Okay.
And grass. You're going to have grass underground.
Yeah. How do you grow it? There's soil down there.
What about light, sunlight? Illuminescent. UV.
Illuminescent. That's exactly what I meant.
Illuminescent. Yeah, yeah.
It's a great band. Thank you.
With the Illuminescence. Yeah.
It's very dark, gothic. Very what Oh sorry Yeah I would also have Like a steam room situation What Yeah yeah Can I ask you Why are we doing this underground It could be above ground All this stuff could be above ground Because of of my fantasies, I did something wrong.
Okay.

Yeah, I did something

wrong on Earth.

You're a man on the run.

Right, I'm a man on the run,

but I have billions of dollars

in my fantasy,

so I built this

underground city,

much like Lex Luthor

in the original Superman movie.

How do you get people down there?

How do you convince people

to go down there?

No one goes down there.

I'm down there.

I have dogs down there.

You're alone.

Yeah, I have a llama, a dog,

you know what I mean,

other things.

What are you going to do

about love and sex and relationships? Well, it's the same as now Nothing With the dogs Yeah yeah yeah Just the dogs Yeah And the llama Do you talk to the dogs Yeah You have full conversations With them Yeah Yeah I've done that Yeah I have I talk to my dog In the morning No just I go How are you See I ask her Philosophical questions Like what I'm your dog. That's not a dog.
No, no, that's my dog. Oh, hey, Cubs.
Hey. What do you think? Do you think that the polar ice caps are actually melting like a surprise? Right, yeah.
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Yeah, I mean... What's your dog's trigger word? They don't understand any of my words.
Really? Yeah. Stop, they don't know.
No, they don't know. They don't know any of it.
It's funny. Yeah.
My dog's insane that if I say your boyfriend's coming this weekend,

she knows it's my cousin.

It's my cousin Luke that comes and watches sometimes.

I'll go, I think your boyfriend's going to be here this weekend.

She'll be dead asleep.

And I'll go, yeah, I think your boyfriend might come by.

In fear.

No.

I don't trust Luke.

So excited.

No, he's the best.

Oh, yeah.

He's good.

She sprints downstairs and stares out the window thinking that he might be there already. Don't do that teaser.
You know. You know what I mean? That's fucked up.
You got to keep her on her toes. Is somebody here? No.
No, I'm just taking a drink of coffee. Okay.
I heard a woman's voice. Hello? Yeah, that's what I heard.
Hello? This thing might be haunted, this studio. I think it is.
Because I've been in here sometimes working after hours and I just feel an eerie feeling in my stomach. I understand.
Somebody was killed here. I understand.
But whom? I don't know, man. But it feels that way.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's not old enough to be haunted, I don't think. This building? Yeah.
88. Built in 88.
Yeah, not old enough. be haunted I don't think this building

yeah

88

built in 88

yeah not old enough

you don't think people

die in the 80s

I think

hauntings take forever

some ghost from 1989

just doing coke

yeah maybe

just like

ooh

yeah yeah maybe

what else do you hear

late at night

here or at home

oh at home

I hear it sit at home

my house is haunted

yeah yeah

100%

this is what I do

Thank you. Yeah, yeah, maybe.
What else do you hear late at night? Here or at home? Oh, at home? I hear it sitting at home. My house is haunted.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. A hundred percent.
This is what I do. I'll be sleeping.
And I'll take my phone, put the light on. You know what I mean? The light.
And zoom my room. See, that's creepier to me.
Because then the shadows from the nooks and the crannies. I know, but if I saw a woman like this, you know what I mean? I don't know.
You're like, lady, I'm celibate. You got to get out of here.
What is that? Orbs? Ghost orbs. Dude, I've seen orbs.
I've seen orbs. Oh, you know what? Orbs, dude? I'll tell you about orbs.
You want to know everything about orbs? I don't know much about it. So there was a comic named Charles Fleischer.
Do I know him? He was before your time, but when I did the, in the early 2000s, he was around a lot. And he was the voice of Roger Rabbit.
Oh, I remember this guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've actually met this guy. Yeah, so Fleischer, so Fleischer would be in the green room, in the main room, and he'd have his cameras out,

several cameras,

to fucking take photos of alien orbs or different ghostly orbs.

Whoa.

And he would show me like,

hey Lee, look.

They always call me Lee.

Look, Lee.

Lee, look, there's orbs in here.

And we always thought it was a little unsavory

because we're about to go up.

You're about to go on stage?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the Fleishman would do that.

But he was really into that.

Is he still around?

Yeah, so he was a part of that, oh, I feel so bad about this. Oh, he passed away.
No, he's alive. He's alive, no.
Why the fuck did you say no? Yeah, he was a part of that group when Adam Eagert took over and he did that fucking brutal, like, you know what I mean, clean house. Yeah, they'll spring clean him.
No, but anyone over Asia, there's some that was like that was like you know i mean like our guests and people that obviously there were people that were we couldn't you know i mean grandfathered in grandfathered in but there was a host of them where he called and said you guys don't call in you're not gonna get spots that's crazy and it broke so many people's hearts i think as a as a you know i mean a booker you have to do that Well, that's why people always hate as a booker, you have to do that.

Well, that's why people always hate bookers and producers because they have to do all the grunt work.

Yeah.

You know, like these guys.

They do all the grunt work and we hate them.

You have to be our filter of no's.

I know.

We had a conversation about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So can we talk about adolescence real quick?

I know you haven't seen it.

I know you can, but I don't want- Incredible.'t incredible you loved it one shot i've seen in years each episode is one shot i've heard this i heard about the rehearsal process is impressive it's insane the kid in it my god incredible how old is this young man 13 13 14 13 yeah never done anything before What the fuck were we doing at 13?

I don't know

Oh, Stephen Graham's in that

I love it

He's incredible

He wrote it, right?

Didn't he?

Yeah, he's incredible

Brad Pitt produces it

Who's that?

That's the kid

That's Brad Pitt

No, that's the kid

Actor Jamie

Wait, wait

Owen Cooper

Yep

This kid is

Incredible

But

He's never done anything about this?

Good for him

It's nice to get a break out the gate

So

Just like us

That's what we had

Thank you. Cooper.
Yep. This kid is incredible.
But he's never done anything about this? Good for him. It's nice to get a break out the gate.
So just like us. That's what we had.
Yeah. Each episode is literally one shot.
And I don't think there's any cheats. I think it's a one shot.
They do two takes, I heard. No.
No, no. It's one shot.
They do two takes. It takes a day for a week.
So ten shots. Ten takes.
Ten takes. Yeah.
So two shots a day. They do two shots.
Right shot they do two takes takes a day for a week so 10 10 shots 10 takes 10 takes yeah so two shots a day they do two shots right they do two episodes two takes two episodes a day and they pick the best one no no two takes a day of the same of the same episode yeah and they pick it they pick it yeah okay so um couldn't do a one-off that'd be insane insane. Oh, that'd be impossible.
We could do it. Yeah.

Oh, so there's always

that one guy

30 minutes into it

who has two lines.

If I was that guy,

like hiding behind a wall

knowing I had to come around...

You see no Koreans

in the show.

It's true, huh?

I would be repeating my lines.

You know what I mean?

Because you wouldn't...

Welcome back to the hotel. Yeah, welcome to the...
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever that is.
Welcome back to the hotel Yeah, welcome to the hotel Welcome back to the hotel You making fun of me with the wrong Missy? No Yeah, you're doing the wrong Missy thing? No, I'm not What do you know what? I'm just throwing out a line Fuck you, dude No, dude, I was throwing out a fucking line I don't know What Missy thing? What are you saying? What are you talking about? Fucking Marcelo did that too Hernandez two weeks ago I love that kid He's like, you've been in movies I go, oh, great job on wrong Missy Is that what you saying? What are you talking about? Fucking Marcelo did that too. Hernandez two weeks ago.
I love that kid. He's like, you've been in movies ago.
Oh, great job on Wrong Missy. Is that what he's saying? Welcome to the hotel.
So fuck you. What's his problem? Your problem.
Anyway. So.
Welcome to the hotel, Mrs. Marcello.
Okay. It's enough.
But here's what I want people to know going. I'm not going to tell you what the premise of people basically know no we know what the premise is i mean it's on the but you know when i first saw it because i hadn't knew nothing about it i thought it was a whodunit like a murder mystery yes right right and with that lens it's it doesn't work with that lens right but then when you look at it for what it is it's brilliant see it's interesting because now there's a lot of murder mysteries are back now like the shonda rhimes show is very popular yeah it's like clue meets knives out right yeah or whatever that's but dude those things are hits that's what we need to make we need to make a bad friends whodunit yeah that that's what we need to do because honestly how much fun would it be if you know mccone was dead carlos i i would have i was going to go to him first but it's too easy because i want to you know what i mean yeah yeah he's suspect and also you need him and he need to be a shady character throughout that you can keep tagging and going this guy could have done it it because look at the lifestyle he's living.
Right. Look what he's up to.
Wait, so he's got to be a guy that people suspect. Suspect, 100%.
Yeah. He's a big through line.
Who does it at the end though? That's interesting. Who does it at the end? Jules.
What? Jules is too predictable. Too predictable.
Too predictable. McCone, no, you don't have the balls.
And that's what we'll say. You're the one that's dead How can you kill yourself Oh that's the whodunit He just killed himself guys What a huge letdown The biggest letdown ever That would be like the worst M.
Night Shyamalan spin of all time He's got a rope around his head And you're like who's doing doing it? He's just sitting there jerking off like, oh, chokes himself out. All right, so this is what you need though in this, right? It can't just be us.
We have to have like maybe 20 people flowing in and out of it. A cast of people, yeah, to come and go.
Yeah, and then, I don't know who does it. I would think that maybe Jessie.
You think Jetski would do it? She's a tough sell for me. Like she don't know if she has that evil flip.
So Dax have to be in the show. Yeah.
He's somebody that people are like, maybe, you know, but I think ultimately the biggest surprise would be you. I'm the murderer? Yeah.
Now that lines up. You and I can't be the murderer.
It seems too obvious that one of us is the murderer. Bring in your brother Steve.
Andreas?

Andreas also doesn't have the balls.

He doesn't have the balls.

He's a big talker, small walker.

I have the resentment, though.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, that's why you're a good suspect.

That's how these things work.

Yeah, yeah, you're a good suspect.

You know, like George.

George would be one of a prime suspect for being a murderer.

Yeah.

Well, I couldn't have murdered him.

You know what I mean?

I know.

Like any police investigator would be like,

well, this guy fucking did it.

Yeah.

For sure.

Yeah.

It would have to be someone like

on face his wife.

I know who did it.

Okay.

Turn around.

Oh my God.

My mom.

Bobby's mom.

That would be the biggest shock.

I think you're right.

That would be the biggest shock.

It's just, you see me in a room with a knife. Yeah.
And then I remove my own skin to reveal I'm Bobby Mom underneath. That's funny.
And that's her line. She pulls off.
She goes, I'm Bobby Mom. And she's, I'm Bobby Mom.
Done. Done.
Right? Done. Done.
But there's no motive. None.
Like, why would she kill McCone? She doesn't even know McCone exists. It doesn't matter.
She just gets right back on her

iPad. Oh wow.

Yeah. But that's that kind of movie

I like. Maybe.
Leave it up to the audience to figure

out why. What's the purpose? Yeah.

What's the depth of this? And I

discover it. You know.

I discover it at the end. Yeah.

And I have a really fucking

scene and you know.

Oh you're emotional.

I like that dude. That was good good I didn't do it yet Do it again I'm not doing it I'm not doing it Please do it I'm not in the mood Please do it And the line is Welcome to the hotel Okay dude Okay You dug me earlier You dug me Well you dug me earlier Yeah I dug you earlier Well, you dug me earlier.
Yeah, yeah. I dug you earlier.
Stop dugging me.

Yeah, all right.

That's good.

I deserved it.

Thank you.

Okay.

So that's a good whodunit.

I think we should do a whodunit murder mystery.

Yeah.

I really would love to.

They are so fucking popular.

Or a Nora 2.

Okay, and let me clear the air.

Yeah.

I actually didn't hate the movie.

I just need more. i need more spins you need to spin me out more emotionally thrust me if you're gonna give me a heartbreaking story i love being spinned around spin me around baby yeah spin me i wanted to see more also the armenians in the movie oh they're not even mean oh have you ever met a fucking Armenian? Yeah.
They were like, you never met him? I'd take it as sushi right up the street. Yeah? It just was different.
What do you got back there that you're fuddling around with? Oh, we got some stuff for Bobby because he keeps talking about it. Oh, this is the old fairy donut and the gold.
How old are these? They just got them today. Yeah, today.
Today. Yeah, of course.
so you're saying they're not good no no no incorrect we rewind the fucking tape i said that i prefer an old school run-of-the-mill donut shop so do you have an old school donut too to yes bring it out yeah thank you thank you this is fun this is really good and this is an old fairy donut and a holy grail donut. Yeah.
And he's got, which one did you get? A Winchell's? Winchell's. Winchell's, fantastic.
It's exactly what I like. An old school Winchell's.
Yeah, but you're going to know the difference once you put it in your mouth. Of course I will.
No, but the shittiest one, just to prove your point, you go, oh, the shittiest one. No, no, I promise I won't.
All right, so give me a plate. You have a plate? No, we don't need plates.
You just fucking just give me one that you think this is. When have you used a plate? That's also very true.
Oh, so you're just going to take a bite of it. There's no closing your eyes or anything? Well, the guys could have set it up differently, but they already shit the bed on that.
All right, so. Just give me and let me see.
Okay. Did you get the good one here from the court? Do we have a little knife? No, you don't have the one with the fucking passaggio.
Do we have a knife? Yeah. Just give me a little knife.
Oh, my God. You got the good one here from that do we have a little knife no you don't have the one that with the fucking pistachio well but do we have a knife yeah just give me a little knife oh my god you got the worst ones let me see are they really that bad mccone you know what is i didn't want to get crazy flavors so they wouldn't go bad i wanted to get basic stuff so that but this is not proving my point you got the worst ones there no but the quality no no no it's not it's not Oh, he does I understand what he's saying quality.
It's a control like it's a scientific experiment So what is this call but that's the point the point is is that I Honestly believe that this isn't even fucking fairy don't don't don't if I look it up no no I think you've tried

dude fuck you do

hold on

yeah hold on dude

yeah I'm gonna do it right now dude

yeah fairy

so this is the holy grail this is the one with

what cinnamon I believe

cinnamon and old fairy donut

hold on

it's just cinnamon and coconut

yeah okay so I look at the

old fairy donut list

I don't have those donuts on the fucking menu dude it's It's just glaze. Everyone has everyone has clay No, they don't I've been there.
They don't have that. No, it was a thing for Postmates.
It was a special Postmates Dude, it was an it was sorry. I'm sorry.
Give me that. Give me the try.
That's real. This is fucking this is fucking with No, I want to try it.
Give it to me. It's Winslow's too.
Fuck you, dude. I'm going to go to Uber Eats.

No, no, no.

I'm going to look it up right now.

I'm sorry.

Fuck you.

Let me try it.

No, no.

You don't try it yet.

I'm so passionate about food.

No, I don't like being lied to you.

Here, well, look at this.

Let me try this.

Old Fairy Donut.

I told you we knew the blindfolds.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So here we go.

Okay.

I want to go to Old Fairy.

Let's see.

The donut. Let's see.
That would be a nice day. Dude.
Yeah. They don't have that in delivery.
Yeah. On Uber Eats, they do.
It's an exclusive. No.
It's not. No.
Okay. How about this? No.
I'm not eating that. Hold on.
No. Stop.
So good. Let me ask you something.
Honestly, look at me right now, Dan. on my mother's life oh this is an easy one on my life my life harder yeah on my life is this from old fairy donut the ones on my life there are on my life on your life there are old fairy donuts on the table in this box you don't have to get that specific Big in this box in in a box yeah in this old in this box the room there are old fairy i'm not fucking around bro why is like this out of all things i'm making you the most mad because it's supposed to be a fucking you mean a contest it's a blind Right? Yeah.
And if this is not the actual thing, then I'm going to lose. Bro, I'm telling you.
My point is. If you like it so much, you would know.
And it's like, there's the PB&J one. There's the fucking Raspberry Glade, Lemon Poppy.
They don't have shit like that. Do you remember how much you like the Erwan water? Andrew, how do you like your old fairy? I gotta tell you.
Winchell's is great. These are all old fairy donuts.
No, they're not. None of them are.
These are old fairy, right? Real. Are they right there? There they are.
Those are the real deals. These are a holy grail know why you got so mad I don't know either man It's pretty fucking crazy dog I'll tell you why dude I'll tell you why Let's say I'm at a Michelin star I work for the Michelin star You're the Michelin man No no Let me re Let me re-work it Bro someone at home a fan please draw him as the Michelin man And submit it right fucking now Thank you What I'm saying is Let's say I own a Shit.
They're on the way. And then my chef goes, you know what? I'm just going to go to Arby's and put those on the plate.
Yeah. And then they get no stars and they get nothing.
Right? That's my point. This contest is supposed to be real.
Okay? To prove a point. But you're trying to trick my mind.
Yeah, I mean. And make me look like a fool and i don't like it give me those here you go all right so this is this is your beloved what is this a fairy fairy okay these are the original glazed it's very and what's this one that's the pistachio.
I refuse.

Fucking eat a matcha fucking donut.

That's insane. Get fucked, you nerd.

Matcha. It's fucking gross.

I'm going to eat the fucking regular.

Let me see.

Yeah.

Come get these, please.

Because before I get so fucking fat, I'm going to pass out. out by the way it is hard to not continue to eat all these donuts i do want to keep this one what he just said bobby i can tell when you start to slow down thank you so you put in a donut break in it we're slowing down we're gonna put the donut thing in there that's what you're saying no i don't know where it's from I don't trust it It says the holy That's the holy grail Yeah whatever it is Do you want it? No I don't trust it He will Anyway Next time we do Some sort of water contest You know what I mean Or anything like that Yeah No deception Because I want to be able to fight for my right to be the right one.

Yeah, this isn't a comedy podcast, buddy.

This is a food podcast. Not bad.

I know, but I don't like being deceived.

Never again.

Shall it happen?

Kony.

Yeah.

Get this out of here.

Thank you.

Yeah, thank you.

We'll get back to something good in a second.

We have to get back.

Okay.

Never again. You know what? Andres is the leader of all this yeah yeah you are you are you're the leader of all this bullshit this isn't hold on this is incredible joe piscopo in a miller light commercial this got we got tagged on this this was a miller light commercial from 1987 for For people that don't know, Joe Pisco was a comedian.

He was on Saturday Night Live.

Was Bruce Lee still alive? No.

In 87? Yeah. Yeah, didn't he die in like the 90s?

Yeah.

I don't know.

I am master of ancient art of karate, kung fu,

and the Chinese chapel.

But the one about the centralizing...

I always reach for a cold Miller Lite. Light tastes great.
Light less filling too. Hey, anybody want the pepperoni? Ancient Proverbs.
Only one light beer. Miller Lite.
Amazing. Amazing.
Amazing. Why can't we do these campaigns today it's racist is it a little bit i can see some people get offended i would like it well here's the problem i have with it he does an accent for almost every line except for mirror right he doesn't even do the funniest one because the product is miller light the executives at that hey hey joe can you just yeah yeah you liking what i did on set yeah but joe can you clearly say miller light you're saying we're right yeah well you guys drink me all right i'm white i'm just an executive no no i'm saying yeah yeah why'd you say you're white yeah you guys you look not white i'm tan okay okay all right yeah are you tired you look no there was an eclipse oh there was yeah yeah did you look up into it yeah i looked right yeah right into that sun don't do that okay i know my bad yeah no the next take i'll say it yeah yeah so next time can you say and action reach for a cold mirror right no you did it again did i do it again yes wow it doesn't sound like I'm doing it Look at me right now Yeah Miller Mirror

No not mirror

Oh

This is not Snow White

Oh

Okay

Mirror mirror

On the wall

Do that

Yeah

And accent

Wow

Evil stepmother

I think if Disney's gonna remake all those movies

They might as well do it with an Asian accent

Speaking of that

Thank you for bringing it up

Don't bring that up

Yeah thank you for bringing that

What?

Speaking of that

I don't remember it. Yeah, he did.
Who said it? Andreas. Oh, he did? I'll bet you $100.
He was wrong. I was right.
How much money has it made so far? Well, we looked. This is the problem.
It's only opening weekend, right? Yeah. It did worse than Dumbo.
It's not looking good. It's the worst opening weekend of any live action.
Now, Bobby was scared after seeing the trailer and made me cut that portion of the other episode. So that bed is off.
Just because you cut the fucking portion of it doesn't mean that the bed is off. Yeah, don't know I was there We made a bed dude You made a bed Then you called him and told him to remove something from the show Because I saw a trailer in the movie theater And I go oh my god it might be good It might be good I didn't recant it I didn fool i didn't recant it right i didn't make it out of the episode you know how disney makes their trailers all magic majestic and magical did you make him take it out of the episode yes yes bets are off you didn't stand by it publicly so then the bets off that's crazy you can't you can't do that and by the way yeah it was a hundred dollars yeah okay you owe him 50 then that's right that's right you owe me You owe me something.
Well, you owe him 50. You owe him half.
Yeah, you owe me something, okay. So it's only made, it made 42 million, what did it have, 88 worldwide, and it's a $400 million movie, which means what, another- It's at 270.
No, it's a $400 million film. With advertising- With advertising.
All the money that's in it, yeah, yeah, yeah. They said it's actually north so they have to make probably 700 million to oh they'd have to make some money close to a billion for this to be like what they want lucrative yeah yeah so it was and it was um i mean i i they're difficult to do live actions based on it well fucking yeah i mean based on internet uh an ip that's already existed yeah but you don't don't think it's hard? I think it's easy.
That's why they keep doing it. Well, it's easier to do because the scripts are already...
I mean, the ideas are there. But what you can't do is change it is what they try to do.
And what do they try to change it into? The main reason is the two girls didn't like each other. The two actresses...
Isn't Gal Gadot in that? Yeah. She's Maleficent.
Yeah. Yeah, and she's pro-Israeli because she was on the Special Forces.
Wait, wait, time out, time out. What the fuck does that have to do with Snow White? Is Snow White in Gaza Street? Because Rachel Zegler is pro-Palestine.
Oh, that's a real thing? I've never heard of this. Yeah, yeah.
And then, you know, obviously Gal Gadot is Israel. Of course.

Right.

But I don't think that, I think what it was was a number of things.

Is Rachel Ziegler, is she, what is she?

She's Mexican.

She's Mexican.

Yeah, yeah.

So I'm going to tell you something, okay?

There's a couple of other elements to it. And I think we can keep this in.

Yeah.

Okay?

Because I'm very clear about it.

I didn't know about the Israel-Palestine part of it.

So what?

They hated working with each other, obviously.

So the two things that they fucked up. They didn't know about the Israel-Palestine part of it.
So what? They hated working with each other, obviously. So the two things that they fucked up.

They didn't even want to do a premiere

with the two of them.

It will always be free Palestine, she writes.

That's May 17th.

That's May 2021?

Yeah.

Wow, that's a long time ago.

But they shot this a long time ago.

They shot this four years ago?

No, it had to have been two years ago.

Look at this from August 12th.

I love you

all so much uh thank you for the love and 120 million views on our trailer in just 24 hours what a world one i'm in the thick of rehearsals for romeo and juliet so i'm gonna get out of here bye for now and always remember free palestine she says rachel ziggler that was august 12th okay so but i don't think that that was the main thing there's two other elements whatever peter Dinklage. Peter Dinklage.

He plays all the dwarves?

No.

That's a good... that that was the main thing there's two other elements whatever peter dinklage peter dinklage

he plays all the dwarves no no i said on a good guess on a talk show he said um i don't know which one it was like they're doing that snow white again for these dwarves you know it's old thinking when it comes to the way people look at little people i think it's bullshit yada yada yada Disney took them seriously

so they made the dwarves

just six

average at little people. I think it's bullshit.
Yada, yada, yada. Disney took them seriously.
So they made the dwarves just six average... Yeah, we already talked about it, right? Those are not the...
They made it all CGI. No, it's all CGI now.
After that. So those leaks weren't real? Yeah, those leaks are part...
They're a group of bandits in the movie. Oh, they are.
Unreal dwarf in them. We just saw an image of it two things ago.
There they are right there. They're all CGI.
Yeah. They're CGI.
They looked... I heard the CGI's not good.
Not great. Right.
And then also Rachel Ziegler's comments about, you know, it's not the 50s, you know what I mean? So we don't need a Prince Charming because women can, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? What? What can they do? They can't be president, I'll tell you that. I know, but they can, they don't need a Prince Charming to help them in their quest to save them.
To save them, yeah. And so what's the premise of this film? I haven't seen it.
No, I'm serious. It's basically the same movie.
It's just, she fights. There's some controversies in it that I think bogged it down but here's my curiosity is her uh the comments outside the movie but it can't be the fucking palestine israel shit because people over the people in fucking china that would see this don't give a fuck they don't care that's what i'm saying that like the the billions that would be earned in other parts of the world don't concern themselves with that you know what i mean so it's got to be something else it's got to be the buzz the buzz well the dwarves the scared kids that does look a little creepy yeah some of the kids were scared from it and then they're supposed to be like likable you know i mean lovable oh oh that that dwarf on the left i know him that's who is it that is not good no no no seriously i know him that guy left yeah he's got some charges pending against oh i see that's probably what did this and the and the and then the third or fourth controversy is people's argument well how can rachel ziggler be the prettiest one in that world if gal gadot is hotter is that what people say yeah they were saying that gal gadot is prettier so it doesn't make any sense but i don't that's another trump thing people are saying if you say people are saying people are saying ziggler didn't do it for them did godot does it so the movie what do we think this thing is gonna is gonna cost them and she's doing romeo and juliet now yeah maybe best romeo and juliet they ever made dicaprio leo it was the best the best the soundtrack was by the way incredible i had this fucking cd that soundtrack was so good it was so good look up the music for Romeo and Juliet they ever made? DiCaprio.
Leo. It was the best.
The best. The soundtrack was, by the way, I had this fucking CD.
That soundtrack was so good. It was so good.
Look up the music for Romeo and Juliet and Leonard. So good.
Romeo plus. Romeo what? Plus.
Yeah, Romeo plus Juliet. Right.
Whatever the fuck they wanted to. That was so good.
Look at this soundtrack. Look at this song.
Here, zoom in a little bit. Oh, damn.
Oh, my God. Yeah, dude.
Fucking Garbage, Number One crush was so good. Butthole Surfer.
Ooh, Desiree, Butthole Surfers, the Cardigans. Yeah, Radiohead.
Radiohead, dude. This whole thing, I remember this movie being like, man, whoever organized the music.
In fact, when I first started working my PA job, when I first moved out here, I met the guy at the studio who made soundtracks for the movies. Wow.
And they did Bottle Rocket. Oh, I love Bottle Rocket.
And I was like, man, dude, that's the coolest fucking job on earth. How did you get that? And he was like, oh, I was in A&R at a radio, I mean, a record label and blah, blah.
And then I was like, what if I want to do that? And he was like, oh man, you're not gonna. You could though, because you have a vast knowledge of music.
I know, but you know what he said? You have to be sucked into the music world, and then they like, you know what it is? It's a job, and this is something that you know that our audience, it's hard to describe. You know what it is? It's loopers.
Do you know loopers? Yeah. People that don't know what a looper is, when you watch a TV show, and you just see someone in a bar, there's chatter in the background at the bar.
That's not real from when they filmed. They have groups of people called loopers that go in every day to the studios and they do background noise just chatter and talking to fill the spaces of television and film and they make incredible money i'm not even fucking kidding my old neighbor was a looper and he made fucking a couple hundred grand a year 10 years 12 years ago and he was just going every day wow and loop looper he was was a looper i love loopers dude look at this good 180 000 good movie too 180 grand to fucking go in every day just talk in the background so i did something gross yesterday i wasn't gonna bring it up i don't know why this just brought it up tell me if this is wrong so i'm doing the last I was, right? So I'm in May.
Last day of the what? This movie I'm in. The last day? Yesterday was my last day.
What's it called? New Year's Rev. That is a good title.
Fuck yeah, dude. New Year's Rev? Yeah.
R-E-V? Yeah. Who's Rev? It's short for revolution.
Just say the whole thing then. Okay.
It looks cooler with New Year's Rev. And this is the Green Day movie.
Yeah. And it's produced by Green Day? Yeah.
It was written by Lee and Lee Harvey Oswald? No. No dude.
But anyway those are the kids. So it's them as it's their story.
The story is the story is that three kids that were told that they were going to open for Green Day, but when they show up to the fucking Palladium, they were lied to. So they try to sneak in and try to get the opening gig still.
And I play a security guard. That's not the point.
Okay, the point. Security guard? Yeah, shut the fuck up.
I like security guard. Yeah.
Palladium security.

So they were-

Welcome to the palladium.

So I was sitting in makeup, right?

I'm sitting in makeup,

and they were playing like just standard like rock,

like killers, all that stuff in the thing.

And I go, why are you playing this rock?

They go, well, I mean, we think Billy's coming in, right?

I go, you don't do that.

And they go, what do you mean?

I go, you gotta be cool. Gotta be cool.
be cool yeah so I go put some Brian Eno on right so then he comes out and sits down right I already talked to him before but I start going yeah so Brian Eno you know he was the keyboardist for the Roxy music did the first two albums became a very prolific i think i was purposely talking about brian brian you know to make billy think that i knew about music what did he say no he was like yeah that's right that's right and he did that he kind of added on and then after i was done with my thing i just kind of went toward to put my hands in my pocket yeah so what came first you guys are jawbreaker which is another like three piece you know i mean Power Power Pack Back Back Back Back Back Back Back Back Back Back Back Back

Back

Back

Back

Back

Back

Back what came first you guys are jawbreaker which is another like three piece you know i mean power power did he hate it i think so yeah i think he knew what i was doing right yeah yeah i go yeah i mean yeah but you guys really you know you guys really did it huh he's like why'd you bring up jawbreaker i was i don't know he didn't say that i bet you he was thinking. In his mind, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Why did you bring it up?

You were trying to show off.

I was trying to show him that I have some knowledge about music,

that we can get some sort of rapport going.

Although I've known him for many years, you know what I mean?

But it's like, you know, I did little social things, right,

that were gross in my mind at the time.

But I don't know if anyone knew I would.

It's not that big of a deal.

It's not that big of a deal.

Can I get your line as a security guard?

What's the line?

I have a lot of lines in it. What are they? I mean, I could pull out my sides.
You don't remember them? No, because... I mean, it's okay.
So, let me... Okay, yesterday's line was...
You know, I'm not offended that you snuck in. It's the line I care about.
Like, you Green Day and then Billy Joel walks by and go oh here's your chance hey Billy Joel you know this kid right and this kid the kid go and then Billy actually turns around and goes oh I heard your demo fucking amazing and in the midst of their conversation I'm jealous right because this kid does know right so I just got blurred out I play the keys I'm in an experimental jazz band you know I went to church with Keith Jarrett which is a random thing you know what I mean my name was Otis Wong some people call me the Wong you know what I mean and he kind of drifts away and then the kid just goes pats me you know in the he walks away. That was yesterday, one of the scenes yesterday.

It's gonna be good.

This is gonna be good.

I hate that you did this.

What did I do?

Did you read it just like that?

No, I was just trying to re-memorize.

I think it's gonna be good.

I hate what you're doing right now.

I didn't do anything.

I think it's gonna be good.

Bobby Lee?

Am I even in there?

Oh my God.

McKenna Grace,

Jenna Fisher,

Mason Thomas,

Fred Armisen.

Damn,

there's a lot of people in there.

Angela Kinsley.

Okay.

Trey Cool?

Yeah,

Trey Cool.

Well,

the whole band is,

obviously.

Go all the way down

to the last credit.

That's where I'd be.

No,

you wouldn't be.

Bar patron.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Maurice.

You'd be Matt Westfallon?

I got a little bit of advice

to Maurice Quintel Simmons.

Yeah.

Thank you. that's where I'd be.
No, you wouldn't be. Bar patron.
Yeah. Yeah.
You'd be Matt Westfallon.

I got a little bit of advice to Maurice Quintel Simmons.

Yeah.

Just,

just do Maurice. Do you remember any of your lines from Dave?

Oh God.

Yeah.

Tell me one.

Dave,

come on.

We have to get back to making the album.

The whole fucking show.

Very good.

The whole fucking show. Come on, Dave, stop goof goofing around so it wasn't that embarrassing what i did no it's something that people would do no yeah it's not as embarrassing as the bong joon ho the director thing i don't think that was that embarrassing that wasn't that's not on you that's on that guy yeah yeah yeah and i feel like that guy owes me a job you he did? Yeah.
He did a simple thing where you know when someone says like, oh, I've seen that thing that you did, da, da, da. And they're probably thinking of something that you did.
That's not what I'm thinking. You think he thought you were in that other? I think Jimmy O.
Yang was on it and he didn't boggle the name. No fucking way.
You don't look at anything like Jimmy. If he liked that show or movie that much, you really think he wouldn't know who the fuck you are i think he thought of something else and mistook

the title for a thing that you did i loved you on wrong missy with that hotel line give me the line

welcome to the hotel so good you kill it i can't believe white lotus didn't call

you're a movie star man you've always been a movie star you're a movie star anyway

thank you for being a bad friend.

It's all ruined. You didn't get the

pistachio one. We're gonna cut

this whole segment out.

I'm gonna get the donuts next time. Okay.
We're cutting

this out. Okay.
Okay?

None of these are Winchell's.

Some of them are.

Those. I know.
i can tell okay and i gotta tell you try one of those just try one of those in that box i'm dead serious try let me see what this is the winchel let me see what they have let me see which one yeah try that one okay fucking terrible that's so you're not. They're breading.

They're breading.

Eat the pink one with the breading.

I love eating the pink one.

And if you lie about this, I'll know.

Oh, wow.

You know it, right? Dude. Woo-hoo-hoo.
Yeah. Woo-hoo-hoo.

Yeah.

Woo-hoo-hoo.

Yeah.