No Mami, Yes Papi, Fancy B Day

Hello!

Hello there, mate. We're going over the pond there, go get beans on toast, and then going to Ireland.

Beautiful, beautiful Ireland.

Beautiful.

So where are we going first?

We're going to go to London, England.

London, England.

July 18th, guys.

Okay, July 18th.

Ovo Arena, Wembley.

We'll be in London, England on July 18th.

Dublin, Ireland.

Then we're going to Dublin, Ireland.

July 19th. We're at the Three Arena.
The Three Arena. Well, that's a good impression.
Thank you. Give me a good Irish impression.
Oh, that's so good. That's so good.
Say pint of Guinness. Pint of Guinness.
That's perfect. Dublin, Ireland.
We're coming to see you July 19th at the Three Arena.

Tickets available at badfriendspod.com.

London, England.

Tickets available July 18th at badfriendspod.com.

You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots?

A white dude and an Asian dude.

You two are disgusting.

You two are something. We're bad

friends. Feliz cumpleaños

aqui.

Feliz cumpleaños

aqui.

Feliz cumpleaños

aqui.

Feliz cumpleaños.

Is it your birthday?

Happy birthday

to you.

I'm like, who did?

Oh, happy.

How old are you now?

I mean, how long do porgs live?

They live a long life.

They do?

Yeah.

Not when they're being eaten by Chewbacca.

I'm trying to say.

Do you remember that scene where he grilled a porg?

Yes.

What silly game is this?

Oh, it's the Mexican Venus flytrap. I got to catch it like this? Yeah, it's a Mexican game.
Ow. Yeah.
Mexican games hurt. Well, I could do it first try, I think.
You think so? No. Ow, dude, you actually hurt your hand.
All right. Let's start from the top.
I don't like the way it started. Let's sing the song again put the lyrics up it's not it's the same words over and over how did you mess that up up? Because they said name.
In Spain, it's Copleanos Feliz. Oh.
Copleanos Feliz. Can I have it solo? I want a cappella.
I think that's my problem. Do Spain.
I'll go fast. No, I want the first chunk again.
No? No, it's in Spain. He's Spanish.
Oh, okay. So Cumplianos Feliz.

Cumplianos Feliz.

Te diciamo Andreas. Cumplianos

Feliz.

After five years.

I'm going to correct. It's Andres.

I have another sound effect.

You know what that is?

Lawnmower. No, leaf blower.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
No, a leaf blower.

Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, how old are you now?

45.

Are you really?

God, imagine being 45 as a director and not directed anything.

I mean, I've never seen...

Wow.

There's a few exceptions.

Be nice to the guy.

It's his birthday today. Happy birthday, man.
You know what? can I say something? You do the best YouTube videos Really, when I see his YouTube I go, oh my god, this should be a criterion Top notch Without YouTube, you're not even famous In the last 10 years, Bobby Whoa Shots fired Shots fired Can I say something? I came in in a good mood Where did that come from You attacked Andreas on his birthday You did, on his birthday Alright, fine But can I ask you guys Andrew, can I ask you a question Please Name me one movie Let's be factual here Name me one movie that Just let's be factual here. Yeah.
Name me one movie that Andreas has directed. What is IMDb? There's actually a lot on there.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Let me look.
Andres Rosende, IMDb. Okay.
IMDb. Oh, you have one.
I am the best. I am the best.
Wait, wait, zoom in. Known for.
Wait, I want to read his. I want to read his.
Yeah, I want to read it, read it. Zoom in.
Andres is an LA-based writer, director from España. He received a BA in film studies from Universidad Complutense of Madrid and an MFA from Columbia University.
His films have played at festivals all around the globe, including Cannes, Stieges, Cleveland, South by South... Cleveland? I want a line, I want a line.
Go. No, you finish it.
Then let's set it. Cleveland, South by Southwest, Pantasia, The Priors Club, and El Lacama Young Directors.
Andres. Andres has received many awards, including DJ for Best Latin, short for Escape, the More Than 35, Mr.
Beer, and the Fantastic Fest Fest Marcado Fantistical Gold Award for the best future and development for the turned what is he directed here we go known for let's go known for Bad Friends first thing up there go look at producer Bad Friends American Carnage oh yeah that Anonymous. The Devil Below.
Bad Friends. Bad Friends.
Chain of Death. Oh, Puppet Cop was great.
Puppet Cop. Puppet Cop was good.
So underrated. I know.
You're under arrest. I know.
I know. Exactly.
What am I being pulled over, sir? Well, you're black. That's it.
All right. Puppet Cop.
Puppet cop. Great.
Underrated. Green plastic sandals.
The red. You thought that red plastic sandals was good? Green? Wait till you see green.
Oh, wait till you see green plastic sandals, right? It's going to blow your mind. Mr.
Bear, which is actually the original of the show, The Bear on FX. Right.
This is just the Spanish version. Mr.
Bear. I thought it was a prequel to Cocaine Bear.
Oh yeah, Mr. Bear.
He had a job before he did coke. Before Cocaine Bear did coke, he had a job, he had a family.
Escape. And the Oscar nominated escape.
Escape. Don't forget about snapshots.
Oh, how can you forget about snapshots? That's how he did it. Thank you guys.
Yeah, so very good. Andres, do you want to say anything to defend yourself on your birthday? Happiest of the birthdays.
Thank you, guys. Were we able to get you any gifts? Your presence is a gift.
Give me. McCone's got some gifts that we'd like to give you for your birthday.
Okay. You mean the world to us.
Uh-huh. Your work here is undeniable, irrefutable, and irreplaceable.

Uh-huh.

You are that good to us.

You mean the world, and I mean it.

Bobby and I wouldn't be where we are without you.

I have some words to say, too.

Your work is stupid.

And your first gift is there.

A pinata.

And look at your second gift.

A pinata.

Shape like.

Shape like what?

Let me look at the face can i see the face shape like

me it's you this is the greatest gift i ever got all right actually pretty great i'm quite

excited about this thank you yes yes I love you get to close your eyes get to close your eyes bitch alright alright stop for a second stop for a second can I use the stick to do an impression. Can I do an impression? The best part is he hasn't even dented it.
It hasn't even broke a little bit. Guess what impression I'm doing, okay? It was a mistake.
A Lely Everett. The baton.
Oh, very good. Very good.
All right, let him finish.

Oh, wait, wait.

I'm going to talk about it.

Let him finish.

Go ahead, fancy.

I'm doing a...

Play the music and let him finish.

I'm doing a GoFundMe for fucking Aleila Everett.

Okay.

Hold your eyes!

Yeah.

Yes!

More! Yeah. Yes.
More. Oh, there, there.
Yay. Very good, Carlos.
That's the kind of production that we have on this show. The candy couldn't even go inside of it.
But I am doing a GoFundMe on Alela Everett.

You broke the vent.

It was so strong.

I have something serious to say.

Jesus Christ, the vent is broken.

Wow.

Okay, Bob, put the guest up there.

Put Broken Bobby up there, please.

Very good.

There's Broken Bobby.

Do you want me to frame him up?

By the way, they got the eyes right. Fancy, tell me, how did that feel? Did that feel good? It felt so good.
That felt like you... Best birthday in the last 10 years.
Cathartic, right? Yes. You got something off your chest.
Yes. Dude, I've never had Mexican gum before.
You can't even chew through it. It's like a fucking...
What? It's made out of it's like a fucking what you want to chew my chew

I can't chew it

well here how about this let's settle some beef the other way

I'm going to call somebody

I want my pinata

I want my Andrea's pinata

do you have Andrea's pinata dude

I'll show you what I do

let me see if I can get a hold of somebody here

Thank you. yours okay do you have a andrea's panada dude i'll show you what i do well let me see if i can get a hold of somebody here hello fitz what's up buddy hey greg fitz simmons uh here on the bad friends podcast greg i'm sitting next to bobby lee bobby is uh bobby wants to talk to you about something do.
Do you have anything you want to explain? You called me today and I told him you were awful hurt about something. I didn't get the full story.
What really happened? No, not hurt at all. I was touched, honored that Bobby would agree to come on.
I do my St. Patrick's Day show every year.
Famous show every year. Greg Fitzsimmons does an incredible St.
Patty's Day show. They have Irish Soda Bread.
They have traditional songs. Live music.
Live music. It's a party.
It's beyond a comedy show. It's a party.
It really is. And I was so happy to promote it.
I went on K-Rock. I went on KTLA.
I went on Good Day LA. Ooh, K-Rock.
Bobby was nice enough to lend his name to the show, and we got a good crowd, and unfortunately, I don't know what happened. I'll tell you what happened.
I was missing at the end of the show. Can I tell you what happened? Yeah, let's hear it.
First of all, I apologize. Did you hear that? Of course.
Okay, so, secondly, did you get my money? Somebody gave me $200. Exactly.
For what? For the charity, right? I gave it to the busboy. Yeah, yeah.
And can I say something? What does that buy? A couple of books. A couple of books.
A couple of like, you know, where you fill out the grades. I don't know how school works, but like a couple of things.

Pencils.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And also... What are you talking about?

Where do you think the money was going?

What's the benefit for?

It was a benefit for the comedians.

I was paying you a bunch of money.

You were getting money to perform it.

There was no benefit.

It wasn't a benefit for a school?

There was no benefit for a school.

The way you did not walk in and see little kids on stage playing the guitar? Little kids? Well, who was on stage playing? It was like Mary, Paul, and Mary. What is it called? Mary, Paul, and Mary? Yeah.
There's two Marys in that band. Was there not singing there? Did that throw your comedy off that much? You couldn't perform because there was a musical act on but it's just not that I looked at the back row there was a bunch of older ladies there and there's like musical things going on I turned to Tim Dillon and I go you know I'm just going to give $200 for the charity and I'm going to bail so wait a minute you showed up to You bailed because of the crowd and because of the...
No, he's supposed to headline the show and he just decided not to. Wow.
But you came all the way there. But did I not go? That's good.
Like going is good. Going is good.
So what is it? Have you not worked out that 15 minutes of material? Oh, here we go. This is how we're going to do it? Oh, we're going to do this? I'm wondering how many more times you need to do that 15 minutes before you know it's going to work no matter where you go.
I'm going to let you have this. Give me another one.
Another what? A slam. Another slam.
No, Bobby, look. You are doing so well with what you've been dealt genetically, mentally, emotionally.
I know that you were molested by an intellectually disabled person. I know that you've got a mustache that just won't fucking stand up and grow.
There's a lot of things you're struggling with. So when you bail out on a show like that, you let down hundreds of people in the audience.
I don't think so. I don't think so.
Okay. Now, Fitz, just for clarity, was his name promoted on the show as he was going? Very much so.
Wow. Very much so.
Yeah. Anything? Anything for the people that are listening that could have gone to that show number one i'm sorry i bought some books for a cherry that doesn't exist there is a charity okay but you did grab the 200 put in your pocket that's good i gave it to the bus boy he gave it to the bus boy good okay yes and that boy bus boy was gonna get corn they Wait a minute.
What is this? Who says he was Mexican? How do you both jump to that immediately? He was an American young man. How would Trump define it if he saw him? Would he be a plane to go to...
Call him Mexican. Yeah.

Okay.

So he got, you know... He'd be in El Paso.

Now, look, Tim Dillon was there.

Thank God.

He was not supposed to be there.

And he just stopped by as a friend to support the show.

And luckily he went on.

So he was able to close it out.

You know, it's so funny that you do this because I saw his name on the list

his name is not on the list

oh yeah you're right

I think you're right

well thank Tim Dillon

and I'm sorry I mean Fitz is one of our

oldest friends I know but he's one of our most

loyal I had a gig

at the ice house were you not running behind

we were not running

behind no we were

we were absolutely because it was a

Thank you. Okay.
Dude, I love you. I respect you, and I appreciate you agreeing to do it even though you didn't.
But you agreed to. And that's the thing that means the most.
Okay. The commitment.
Not the follow through. Yeah.
But the verbal commitment does mean a lot. I just got a bad vibe from the room.
You got a bad vibe from a full packed house, a sold out room? Yeah, but there were people on stage singing folk music. Tim Dillman, Danny Letterman, they all said that this was the best crowd they've seen in a year.
Everybody destroyed. Because it was a party.
It was a fucking party. It wasn't just the show.
It was beyond that. Okay, I'm going to throw somebody on the bus.
Go ahead. Okay.
Oh, and here we go, Greg. Okay.
Yeah.

I'm not mentioning Annie or Tim,

right?

But somebody that was on the show said this.

The reason why they laughed so hard is because the music was weird.

Who said it?

I can't tell you.

You literally just said,

I'm going to throw someone under the bus.

I know.

So then do it.

I can't.

Give me the initials of the comic that said that.

TW. Who was it, Greg? TW? Tom Wilson? Taylor Williamson.
He wasn't on it. Who was on the show? Good to see you, Greg.
Greg, Greg. Eric Griffin was on the show.
He said it. Destroy destroyed he texted me the next day saying put me put me on that show every year and i said well there's probably space next year because uh bobby has already committed so that's an opening right here eric griffin black irish who else was on it uh tim and annie uh saul saul trajillo he's great Dude, that guy is a guy to watch.
He's a star. He really is He's great He's a star He really is a star Saul Trujillo is great Say sorry one more time to our good friend I'm so sorry Greg I love you Mean it You can always Be on one of my shows I'll say it be on the poster for one of my shows.
I'll say it in Korean. I'll say it in Korean.

The door is always open.

Okay, I hear you.

I'll say it in Korean.

Chingu.

Nah.

Yeah.

You know what Chingu means?

Yeah.

What does it mean?

We all know what Chingu means.

What does Chingu mean?

You said it enough on this show.

What does it mean?

It's a friend.

It's a coin you use in a Korean spot.

Chingu.

Chingu.

Chingu.

Nah.

Apologizer. Oh, very good.
good my friend i don't know about you all right well we love you greg i'll try to fix him man okay i love you guys work on he's a work in progress keep working on him andrew i will bye buddy all right bye why why one of the greatest comics alive i know one of the greatest most talented because you disrespect a legend that's trouble that guy's a fucking legend greg fitzsimmons is a legend now you disrespect somebody else that's on your terms okay you disrespect one of our oldest friends okay tough tough move he called me he said i was really bummed i was having a cup of coffee he goes interesting i gotta be honest with you i was pretty bummed at your boy i said what happened and he told me well me tell you something. And I can't even believe you're doing this because I'm going to say this.
Go ahead. When I was molested by the guy without, he was in a folk band.
Are you being serious? Yeah. What did he play other than your balls? And I saw him perform.
On you? No, afterwards, after the show. So when I walked in the, that's why you got with him.
You saw him. You were like this rock star.
I were like this rock star i got it he was very good um so folk music has a tie yeah and i had a i had a ptsd reaction to the show and i had to leave okay and i gave him 200 you had an msg reaction what did you say i can't believe you did that no I didn't do it Fitz called me today

He was actually

You think it's forever dead

With Fitz?

Yeah

You're fine

The Shane thing

You're cooked

I know I've heard that

I mean that with every sense of my being

I've heard that through the

You're in deep shit

Yeah

And I mean deep shit

A war

Oh dude

It's beyond a war

Yeah dude

And I'll lose

What did I say to you?

On the show I said Don't do this Don't go after Shane This is a bad idea I know but his I said it like five times I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. oh dude it's beyond a war yeah and i'll lose what did i say to you on the show i said don't do this don't go after shane this is a bad idea i know but i said it like five times okay well i'll say this i love you you're my partner you're my best friend you're my dog i'm not gonna walk into that with you bud so when we're doing the animation today we did a little work we did it you gave me a lot of notes i liked it we gave okay go ahead and say it say the truth yeah did it bother you We did our little work.
You gave me a lot of notes. I liked it.
We gave, okay. Go ahead and say it.
Say the truth. Yeah.
Did it bother you? It didn't bother me. We did our first session today in the animated movie that we're going to be in.
Yeah. And he gave me some notes.
Andrew did? Some line readings. Yeah.
A lot. That's good.
A lot. Every other line.
Every other line. Why do you guys think that is? Andrew's a good actor.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Spaghetti-o. i gave him readings because i wanted to get him in the mood and by the way he will agree when i said stuff to him not line readings when i said stuff like bob get jumpy like you do and you did and then do you kill it this is what he made me do he goes you're a bat right i go yeah i'm an ox and he's a bat yeah But then you're like be a bat be a bat so i'm literally in it i'm going i'm going like this and he goes more more like a bat i was doing this and saying the lines and he kept going that's it that's it was it it i don't know if it is i think you just make me look like a fool in the window you guys know the truth i brought something out of him just like we do on the show.
When he batted, the lines crushed and then everyone in the booth

went like this.

Laughing,

laughing their fucking asses off.

Yeah.

It worked.

When you physically emote,

when you're sitting there

just doing it in the mic,

it's never going to work.

You were emoting

like you would in the scene.

Mm.

Just like you would

if you were acting.

Mm.

I didn't give you a line reading.

I gave you emotional readings.

I said,

Bob, do the thing that you do.

And then he killed.

Yeah. And then he fucking killed the session and then he got us out early because he begged the woman well let me tell you i have a video i'll send you i also have a magical thing that happened to me that it's not really a comedy thing it's a real thing if i may share it the molestation with the down syndrome kid no no no yeah that was funny that was very funny rocket.
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shopify.com slash badfriends. As you know, I just did a movie in Oklahoma City.

With a bunch of young Hollywood.

Name some of the names.

No.

You can.

I don't want to.

Why not?

That'd be a surprise.

You did to me at lunch.

You bragged at lunch.

On the phone with me.

Yeah, you bragged at lunch.

I like how he pretends like he's not Mr. Hollywood,

then he bragged.

Bragged, bragged, bragged. Oh, my God.
You bragged. Yeah, he's not mr hollywood then he bragged brag brag brag you bragged yeah today's not good happy birthday it's not good today happy birthday i feel like being assaulted i'm liking it okay so um i was in oklahoma city you were i felt depressed and i thought maybe i should use that i don't like.
Right. So guess what I did?

Use?

No.

Went to a meeting.

It took my phone out.

I have this meetings app on my phone.

Yeah.

I went to a meeting.

Good.

And I felt good.

Then what did I do the next night?

I went to another meeting.

Good.

And then there was a kid in the movie that was also sober.

Good.

I took him to a meeting.

Okay.

And then I went to Dallas to do, what's his name's show dr phil dr phil yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah dr phil and i know you have some feelings about that too yeah we can share later yeah yeah you can share whenever yeah but um something magical happened um i was at a mall i was planning to go to a meeting but i went to a mall first to get some shoes i was walking around and i see a kid and he has these gigantic throat stab wounds in his throat stab wounds yeah yeah jesus they're super thick right why are you laughing it's just how do you know there's that because i asked him oh are those stab wounds yeah i go do what the He goes, yeah, you know, when I was super like using, I used to stab myself in the neck. And he goes, but he teared up and he was like, you got me sober.
No, that's awesome. And I go, what? He goes, I mean, you talk about sobriety.
And then I go, what do you do tonight? I go, how many meetings have been going? He hasn't been meetings in years. The throat stab guy didn't go to meetings? Yeah, yeah.
I would assume he would be on track. So I go, you know, you're not doing it for a year.
You're doing it to help others. Yeah.
So I said to meet me at this random meeting, and he showed up. Good.
We sat next to each other. And I think there was a shift that happened.
Oh, you're smiling.

No, I just think it feels good to hear this.

I think this is very important.

And then afterwards we,

I sound his body.

I knew it.

Because he wanted a tattoo of my signature.

Right on the chest.

He got a tattoo?

Of my signature on the chest.

Oh, boy.

And then he got me two pants.

He bought you pants? From the store that, yeah, he works at a store. I like these pants, but, and so, I don't know.
I didn't get them, but he got me two brand new pairs. And then.
Can I say something? Yeah. I mean this when I say this.
I think the work that you do in the sober world. That's not what I'm saying.
Can I just finish? I think it's extremely important. And I think there's a ton of people that listen to this show.
They either use, used to use, have trouble, have thoughts. And I think it's a great world to put our audience in to know that- Are you being real right now? I think there's a joke coming.
I'm not. Okay.
I think it's a- Beans on toast or something. Is there a beans on toast coming? There was.
Okay. I know one.
No, I think it's a beautiful, important thing to do as a child of addiction, as someone whose best friend is an addict, whose friend, we have a lot of friends that have lost their lives to it. I think it's important that you do stuff like that.
I really mean it. I think it's imperative to the future of people who are struggling to hear you, a famous guy, who, by the way, what, you guys are laughing? All right, I'll stop.
I'll stop. No, I'll tell you why the disrespect from Andreas.
It's insane. What did I do? I'm being fucking serious.
Yeah, yeah, because literally when you're saying something very sincere and heartfelt and real, and, dude, I it dude i'm trying to be i'm connected to you this is what i see from this guy you're mocking me no him this is what andreus is doing for like 10 seconds looking at something doing a smirk okay and i'm going what the fuck dude what i'm saying is boring and i don don't care. No, I love it.
I guess it's boring. You think what?

I think it matters.

I think it's an important part of life.

You know, it's the same way when somebody comes up to me or emails us and says,

Hey, man, I was going to kill myself last year.

My mom died in June.

My dad left us.

And listening to the show makes me feel good.

These moments change my life.

I think it's fucking important.

They make me feel like what I'm doing when I'm sitting on an airplane, and's 40 minutes late and I'm bummed out and it's freezing and they lost my bag and I'm going to be late to the thing and I'm pissed off and I didn't eat. I go, oh, this is all worth it because somebody gets joy from our thing.
I know it. And you give people joy by giving them hope in the process of comedy.
I know what you're going to say next. Beans on toast.
No, I'm Bobby Mom. So what I'm saying though is not that I did anything.
Yes, you did. No, I didn't.
I didn't do anything. What I'm saying is that I believe that when you make a choice like I'm going to really commit to sobriety, you're open to situations that To situations that you, you may be able to help somebody indirectly.
Almost, you know, I mean, I didn't do anything. I just said, Hey dude, let's meet me in this meeting.
That's very direct. Oh, this.
Yeah. Hey, come with me to this thing.
Yeah. You're lending a hand.
Anyway, we'll move on from the sober community, but I do think it's an important thing. I think it's not that funny today, but it doesn't matter.
That's not about, this isn't, this is about us being real. You want to be funny, we'll go back to making fun of Andres.
It's easy. Go for it.
Look at that shirt. By the way, I had McCone search hell and high water to find Spanish stores.
Okay. Go all over LA.
By the way, Decidual, your shirt company that you love so much. Is that a residual shirt? It is.
You know that fucking dump?

It's closed all over the world.

There's like three left.

Just in the US.

I have a question.

There's one in Gaza.

It's insane how little of them.

There's none in the US.

Are there no white strips in Spain?

Why are your teeth so yellow?

Jesus Christ, there he goes.

Is that too much?

Is it?

Is that too much?

Oh, it hit him.

That one hit him.

I know.

My teeth are yellow.

You have no real teeth. That's why yours are so white there he goes it's good it's just today he's hitting you you did hit me yeah very good you know because it's your birthday why don't you throw a couple insults at us yeah yeah go ahead yeah go ahead no i love you guys no okay are you doing let me can i ask another simple question right you're doing a mohawk andre agassi on the side thing here or what you have to wait i mean is that what you request in turkey wherever you went it's gonna be good what i want to be a mohawk like wait for christmas like taxi driver at the end right and then put fucking under it underwear.
It's gonna be a Christmas miracle. Okay.
Wait for Christmas. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My hair will come in. Just wait for Christmas.
Yeah. Look here, my brain.
Fancy, do you have anything planned with your wife for your birthday? Do you guys have any? You call them Fitzy? Huh? You call them Fitzy? Fancy? Oh, okay. Where the fuck have you been? I don't know.

I've been doing this for five years.

Fans.

We're taking our daughter to Disneyland, so nothing.

Are you really?

Unbelievable you have kids.

Oh my God, it's crazy.

Wait a minute.

Have you already bought the tickets?

Yeah, not everybody waits until they're 60.

What did you say?

Not everybody waits until they're 60 to have kids.

Yeah, okay.

Shots again. Okay.

Have you bought tickets?

Soon. Have you? Okay.
Can Bad Friends buy the fast pass for you guys or whatever sure that could be the birthday gift do you know you know what you need you know the irony chaperone oh god let's do a chaperone that's eight grand let's do the regular thing i thought you wanted to be a chaperone we would chaperone you you know what the funny thing was my wife literally that. She goes, what if you buy him tickets to take this kid to Disneyland? I go, he doesn't want that for his birthday gift.
That's exactly what we're going to do. No, but the chaperone, you know how it works, right? Not really.
Do you know how it works? I've never done it. I don't know.
We should do it. No, no, no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've done it once and got the super fast.
We did Universal Studios. And then you didn't show up.
Disneyland. No, Disneyland.
I'll tell you how it works. But wait a minute.
We did buy super fast pass at Universal for Halloween Horror Nights. You didn't even show up.
You didn't show up. You bailed.
I know. Everybody else showed up except for you.
I know. Jules showed up.
Yes. And you didn't show up.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, can I tell you how it works? Yes.
pay for it okay sounds pretty easy and then you show up right and you show up at the log there's a log cabiny kind of fucking oh sorry oh yeah you're right yeah log cabiny kind of like a hotel-y lobby thing yeah where there's like you know a fire very descriptive right yeah what is this you're like so then a lady in that suit shows up and she goes bobby i go yeah i'm your chaperone for today right and then you go oh where do we go she goes go wherever you want to go i go we don't have to wait in line she goes no wow so you can go anywhere like if you eight grand per person no for the whole group per family so you can get a group of 10 and pay eight Right? And then you don't have to, like that roller coaster at California Dreamin', I don't get the Asian ones. They didn't offer you her? They're too quick.
They only had one. Let's go, let's go, let's go.
I can't catch up. Yeah, yeah.
In the middle of the ride. Get off the ride.
Yeah, yeah. But it's pretty convenient.
Well, yeah. If you have enough money, this seems like this is the move.
Would you like this fancy for your birthday if or would you like to keep your job yes yeah yeah although we all do it although it really you know that money really took a i took a hit i mean it's not a cheap experience yeah so you know guys i don't you know how about this how about this though no i've never even heard of this experience but it is adam levine told me about it yeah that's why some people don't do it yeah resort vip tours yeah are you richer than all of your friends get ready for a day without poor people yeah call 714 i mean that's literally i would have done it if i wasn't trying to oppress a girl you could tell me that that is true yeah true. Yeah, yeah.
And this is the first I was meeting her son.

Oh, yeah.

And I'm like, I want to, you know what I mean?

Because I've never met the kid before.

You told me, and it's a great movie. Right, and so I want to give him,

but then he left this lightsaber at the park

and I got mad.

It is crazy to think, though,

like that kid's first,

his first experience is this.

Like, we have a family friend of ours.

You know, my buddy, I'll say it off the air.

Yeah.

His sister, their kids have never ridden on a commercial airline they've only flown private wow they're little kids so they have no fucking idea what it's like to go to an airport ever right they have no clue so like little kids that grow up in this world they don't know what it's like to go to disneyland well this kid i fucked him up i think you did i'm saying because he can never go to this again oh he'll be like where's the where's the asian woman who tours us around yeah i want her again yeah because this this is this is the spoils of the riches i mean this is like that's fancy pants look i could get you some all access wild shit because now you know we work for the mouse but if we go if we go as a group yeah if we go as a group with your kids yeah so maybe we can get to know your family i've never met that I know you love that, so absolutely He has one child, just one kid Oh, whatever You've met his wife She's been here I've jerked off to her Wait, is that wrong? No How is that wrong? If if i said to you i jerked off to your wife why would that be wrong it's not it's fine it's a fantasy right does that offend you yeah what would hurt is i would never jerk off right right yes that would be hurtful yeah if you said you know the girl that you're with never i i get it that's a compliment by the way at lunch today you said or at dinner tonight you said no no more women done period. Yeah.
Over. I'm done.
No more data.

Are you off the clock? I get it. That's a compliment.
By the way, at lunch today, you said, or at dinner tonight, you said, no more women,

done, period, over.

Yeah, I'm done.

No more data.

Are you off the sites?

Off the sites, not doing any of it.

Wow.

Do you know why?

It's over.

That's why.

It's not going to happen again.

No, come on.

Yeah, yeah.

It's over.

Beep, beep, beep.

Train's dead.

I know what the beep, beep is about, but it's fucking over.

I'll tell you why, dude.

All right.

There's a lot of deception going on.

There's a lot of this going on, right?

Hey, you want to go out this night, right? And they go, yes. And then the night comes, I make reservations, and they bail.
On the night of the room? Yeah, where I make reservations, you know what I mean? And I have a whole... And then I have to take the night off of stand-up.
Right? Take the night off, right? And then they bail. It's just like, all right.
Like tomorrow night, I'm going to a place. I'm going to meet somebody very special tomorrow night.
Bong Joon-ho. You're going to meet Bong Joon-ho tomorrow night? Yeah.
Where? Mr. Hollywood.
Mr. Sol.
Mr. Sol.
Yeah. Bong Joon-ho, you're going to meet him?

Yeah. That's incredible.

Where are you guys going to go meet?

He's having an art exhibition, and then his producers called me and said, you're invited,

and we want you to come.

Wow.

I wish I got stuff like that.

You want to come with me?

No, no, no.

It's okay.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that I'm done with women, and-

Bong Joon-ho.

I'm off the sites, and I am feverishly masturbating. But I need to stop that.
What are we talking? Twice a day? No, I've been doing it twice. But now, like every other day now.
Every other day. Remember? Because the other day I was doing 14 days in a row.
I didn't do it. Yeah, that's good.
Remember that? Yeah. And then, so.
All right. So no more women.
So it's just Bong Joon-ho from now on you can't seek love it's got to find you bob i think that's not right but um no i think you're right i think you're right i think here's what it is i think it's just either gonna happen or not you think so yeah because it's like also you know i swipe all the time on raya and i get no hits yeah but that's a fan that's not a real website every time i see my friends that are on those that raya one, that's almost like it's just Instagram. It's like showing off for the sake of showing off.
I mean, I could even go to my- I've never met one person that's dated off Raya for real. Maybe hook up, maybe.
But everybody I know, girls and guys, they say the same shit. I have this fantasy of doing a Bad Friends Bachelor edition where we have women come in to meet with Bobby and then we do a full show.
So that's what you jerk off to can we all right can we go into some of my messaging at raya yeah and see if i'm doing it right i thought you deleted it oh no i lied i lied sorry five seconds ago i deleted all right so let's start let's randomly start okay so i sent a message this alex Oh, that's a long thing. Let me see.

And then I don't know if I'm blue.

Oh, yeah, I'm blue.

Are you still in LA?

Sadly, I am.

I go, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Why don't you like it?

Was it good so far?

No.

No.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah, it's already bad.

Let's go back.

Korean Joker.

I'm doing Korean Joker.

Why don't you write me?

Yeah. I mean, it does sound like a murder What a murderer would say You don't want to stay I go hi Apostrophe S Is that good No I don't think so She goes hey And I go I sent a message through Insta if that's cool Nothing Well why I don why? I don't understand.
Why are you laughing? Because girls specifically don't like that when they match. Oh, fuck! Wait, why would you do that instead of just continuing the chat there? Because there's no like, I don't really look at my Ryan notification.
Oh, God. I mean, sometimes days will go by.
I got it. You want to read one? Yeah.
Go ahead. Well, hello.
Is that me? You said hi. She said, well, hello, and then you bailed.
Let me look, let me look, let me look. Let me look, let me look.
Why? And by the way, well, this is so long ago. It says this is 2022.
Yeah, look at the photo. Let's get another one.
No, she looks cute. Okay, fuck.
Let's get a more recent one. Fuck.
You went back so far. Yeah, yeah.
All right, how about Ariana? From yesterday. Okay.
I do live in LA. You live in LA? I do.
I try to get out. Are you here? I'm here.
Let's communicate. Let's communicate through Instagram.
Your game is outstanding. How about another one? That's like my comedy.
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I'll tell you, this one hurts. This one hurts my feelings.
Okay, go ahead. She says, my best friend is a comedian in LA.

Anyway, you have to give me a heads up

when your tickets go on sale.

I don't miss it.

I'll comp you.

No pay.

How Asian are you?

I'll comp you.

No pay.

It's the way you're saying it.

Say it in a Southern accent.

I'll comp you.

No pay.

You're right.

It's Asian.

You're right.

I'll comp you. No pay.
And nothing after that? She after that She goes oh thanks I hope Oklahoma went well for you That's so nice Yeah Then he didn't respond Is that recently March 12th So that was like a week Over a week ago Let me see You screwed up on that one Why Why wouldn't you hit her back And go it did go well Okay What's going on You want to meet Bong Joon Ho No Throw No, no. Throw that in there.
I mean, some of them is hard because she lives in Austin. Oh, then never mind.
I didn't know that. And she has children.
You got to get over that, dude. You're 52.
No, I love it. No, I love kids.
Woo! Yeah, I love them. Don't say that.
Yeah, yeah. I love the little ones.
You love when people have kids. Yeah, yeah.
I don't have anything against them. You have to accept the fact that that's a reality.
Like our good nick christ he was looking for love he's been in and out he met he fell in love deeply with someone who has a kid life is good oh is that who she has a kid yeah oh i didn't know that and he's been a wonderful i don't even know what the labels are now but i dude you have to get over the fact you are at an age you are going to meet someone with a kid what about this though i i went on a date with somebody last week and her kids are teenagers, two boys. Cute, that's great.
And they're gigantic fans of mine. Well, no, but the good thing is- She'll go like, what does Aunt Bobby Ma mean? I go, oh, nothing, don't worry.
Yeah. Just call me.
Yeah. What's Down syndrome? I go, what do you mean? She's like, something happened? Like she doesn't, she's not a fan.
She gets it all from her kids. Well, but the good news is if they're teens, that means they're going to be 18 and be out of the house soon.
Then you get the house to yourself again. So you're really just planning.
Find a woman with a kid who's 16, 17. Then you're in good shape.
Yeah, but if she's in her 40s, I can't have kids. That's not true.
What do you mean that's not true? Oh, you want to have kids with her? I want to have kids. Well, then here's the deal, dude.
Yeah, yeah. Why don't you go knock up a young stripper have a baby yeah pay the stripper to let you keep the baby yeah yeah and then you know no need a woman that doesn't sound right you don't want to raise a kid oh so i go down the seventh veil i pay the cover girls girls girls oh girls girls well tell them at the door i don't want to pay cover i'm trying to have a baby with all these girls.
Yeah. Okay.
And then I go, what do I say?

During the lap dance.

I'll give you 50 grand to have my child and let me keep it. And then you don't have to be involved.
This happens on the other way, by the way. There's women that tell men, I want to have a baby with you, but I don't want you involved in the life of the baby.
Why can't a guy do that? You don't need a stripper. You can just do it normal like that.
I don't know if anybody but a stripper would do it. Like.
For him. The Kardashian woman did it.
Who is this? Just. By the way, this is not to say.
Dancers, you are well respected. You're respected.
You're well respected. I'm just saying.
There should be. I just created an app.
There's an app. No, we created the app.
What is it? Women that want to do that. Women that want to do that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please download women that want to do.
What I i'm saying women that want to be surrogates or whatever yeah it's a surrogate yeah yeah yeah and then it's an app you can swipe through they can give their college education if it's a divide it's called uh no mommy yes poppy yes no mommy yes poppy right and then you go how much you know you do you know it's the same there is surrogacy right There is for people that can't have kids. You look at the surrogacy.
Same kind of thing. Can you do it organic though, implants? You want to have sex with them.
Yeah. I don't really, I don't feel comfortable with the squirties.
I think it's a little bit of a problem. I'm not going to lie.
Why? I don't think they do that. Oh, they don't do that? You got to pay them a lot more, I would imagine.
Extra 25? I think it's more than that. 50 grand.
I'd say maybe more. Okay, well then no.
Okay, or be like Carlos. Get a call, girl.
Get a call, girl. No, no, no.
But no, no, no, no, no. Generational trauma.
Well? Because that's what I have for my parents' war. Right, then you'll match up with someone well.
Yeah, yeah. You raise a kid solo.
Or you could take someone's kid. Steal Whitney's kid.
Oh, yeah. Free kid.
Who else has kids I can steal? Who's got a lot of kids? Is there a comic with a lot of kids? George Kimmel. You don't want those kids.
Those are- The boy doesn't like me, but maybe the- White Walkers. They're already Hovations, so- Yeah, yeah.
Can Carlos be my surrogate? Yeah, kind of. Can you carry? Oh, should I transition and get a uterus can you implant an uterus in somebody and have a baby with them you can can you really I don't think so yeah can you can't men have babies now they're allowed to legally here not in any of the states that I respect look trans men both biological trans men are capable of becoming pregnant yeah because you can implant can implant a uterus? No, those are women.
No, no, no. That's trans men, meaning, yeah, they have a uterus already.
You can't implant the fucking uterus and cut it out. Bobby's dream come true.
Bobby's dream come true is just like a uterus in a fucking vacuum, in like a tube. Well, in an Xbox.
Yeah. Put a uterus in the back, I'll fuck the Xbox.
God, this guy blowing a schnaz. What's going on, dude? Our producer, no joke, is sick literally twice a month.
I bet I will say. Yeah.
Very, very happy. Very happy.
With what? That the weather's getting nice. Because I was traveling around.
I come back to the land. I go, ooh.
Ooh. That feels good.
Feels so good. Sunshine.
Dallas felt good.

Dallas feels good.

Yeah, right.

Should we move to Dallas?

I know, I love the town.

I love Dallas.

Yeah.

Let's go.

You know I just can't move to Austin.

Yeah, I can't go to Austin.

No business.

Give me a reason why.

Dallas?

Austin.

Why I can't move there?

Yes.

Why can't I move there?

I keep telling you Vegas.

Brother, you don't want to live in Vegas.

You don't.

I mean, I like Vegas a lot, but I like to visit.

I think guests would go there.

You don't think it's hard?

Hard life?

You don't think you would have a tough time in Vegas?

No, there's probably good AA out there.

I know, dude, but there's a lot of everything out there.

I know.

There's everything you've ever wanted there.

It's addiction city.

It's addiction city, says the there. It's addiction city.
It's addiction city. Says the kid.
It's addiction city. Like from the kid from Minnesota's nothing.
It's. Do the line.
It's addiction city. Yeah.
And it's addiction city. What a fucking asshole you are.
You texted me the other day. I didn't text you back.
No, you didn't. Because of the addiction city the addiction city stuff it's that kind of stuff that gets you no text back it's that energy and then you looked at me earlier like hey dad and I didn't really give you anything did I? I will after this yeah I will after this I'm going to ask you a real question oh my.
You've been working. I'm so big.
How close are you to doing your hour? No, not even close. Come on.
Literally not close. I just extended the timeline.
Now it's January. You're going to shoot in January? Yeah.
Oh my God. What? 2026.
No, 28. 26, 26.
And you'll put it out at the end of 2026? Yeah, they this is the final last I'll take that but wait a minute you're gonna shoot it in January you've got eight months now to prep I've got like my clothes are down really yeah I have a whole fun closer that's crazy I mean I just need about 20-25 minutes I'm getting there we'll get there yeah this hilarious thing thing I just didn't see Bobby on the bus ad So I was concerned Well because the ads are only for 2025 Dude what are you trying to do dude I was worried that something happened Nothing happened the deal is going Okay well I didn't see you weren't being publicized Is Sebastian publicized They don't really need to No Because he's in my chunk Wow He's in my chunk You're in his chunk Okay I'm so Okay Okay Can I say something to you? Asshole Me? Yeah Asshole I will tell you that Call me that Last night Tim Dillon And Marcelo Hernandez Yeah he's funny Tim goes Hey You wanna hey, you want to go to a rapper's party?

I go, what's a rapper party?

I know a rapper. So they take me to this gigantic, on Will's shirt,

this gigantic building.

The rapper lands with a helicopter.

Who's the rapper?

I don't know.

Love that.

I have no idea who it is, right?

But, you know, who got recognized the most?

You did more than Dylan and Marcello.

That's from YouTube. Wow.
I got to know the rapper's party. Who are you calling? Dylan.
I just lied. I just lied, man.
Dude, what's going on? What are you trying to do? I just lied. I want to know the rapper.
But I got mad at it. You know what I mean? I got defensive, so I lie when I get defensive.
Well, make up a better line. All right, yeah.
So, you know, I'll tell you. You're naming people we know.
You could have said Bong Joon-ho and I did crack last night. I don't know how to contact Bong Joon-ho.
Okay, all right. But what am I mad about? I even forgot that.
You're mad at Carlos for trying to get it. Is the Bong Joon-ho real? No.
You're not seeing him either? No, how am I going to see him? What are you doing? What do you mean? I don't know what to say today I'm just lying Alright Can I say something? I respect it The kid didn't go to The Meeting? The staff No Do you believe that Those big stab Moves in the neck? You're a great actor sometimes Thank you so much Oh my god Yeah all of it's lies Backhanded compliments Yeah yeah You're a great actor sometimes. Thank you so much, dude.
Oh my God. Yeah, all of it's lies.

Backhanded compliments.

Yeah, yeah.

You're a great actor sometimes.

All right, but here's the trick though.

All of it did happen.

I know it did.

So there you go in your face.

I know it did.

Yeah, I'm a mind tricker.

I know.

Yeah, yeah.

Trick-a.

I'm a mind tricker.

Yeah, you gotta be careful.

Okay, sorry, my bad.

Mind tricker. What's up, my tricker? What's up, mind tricker you gotta be careful okay sorry my bad mind tricker what's up my tricker what's up mind tricker this is my neighborhood tricker right I went and saw my family on St.
Patrick's Day it was fantastic tell us more and I went out to a little pub nice little pub we went to an old pub in my neighborhood that I grew up in I posted a picture about it the first apartment i ever had theo responded to it and goes the first of all the first three floors are is a garage it's a parking garage he goes damn dude no windows yeah buddy wow i love him wow it's his birthday today happy birthday to theo yeah and then i trolled around chicago with my family it was very meaningful it's very wonderful to see my family I love your family, dude. I really do.
I miss them. I then I trolled around Chicago with my family.
It was very meaningful.

It was very wonderful to see my family.

I love your family, dude.

I really do.

I miss them.

I wish I could see them more.

I don't know how we can do that.

I really do love them.

Especially if we move to Vegas.

Is your sister still out there?

She's out there.

Okay.

No.

Oh, she's living out.

She's in love.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

She's in love.

She's in love in Chicago.

I like that guy.

He's a great guy.

He's a great guy. Love in Chicago.
You know in love in Chicago. I like that guy.
He's a great guy. He's a great guy.

Love in Chicago.

You know I love Chicago because the professor,

the pizza professor guy.

Oh, yeah, we had him at the Dr. Phil show.

We did it.

The Dr. Phil show, I got to be honest with you,

the surprise guest was mind-blowing.

Who was it?

Chevy Chase.

No.

It's my hand to God.

Chevy Chase went up on stage?

Yeah.

It was pretty incredible. And did he do bits him and him and uh dr phil they talked for a little bit they did a couple of bits together but chevy wasn't gonna stay around for a while i think they made it very clear he was gonna hang out but they played a beautiful video beforehand of like some of chevy's greatest bits from different movies it's pretty emotional he's a legend his family was there they all were like like loving it yeah and then he walked out there did a couple of bits with uh dr phil and then took off it was tough to follow my not gonna lie very happy i wasn't on right after oh who was out there it was normand mark yeah which he killed but i'm also was like i don't want to go after chevy i don't work with a fucking a legend but norm went out there he crushed i mean he i did mine in dallas with Jamie Kennedy.
Same kind of level of fame. Chevy Chase.

It was fun.

Jamie. A legend.
But Norm went out there. He crushed him.
I did mine in Dallas with Jamie Kennedy. Same kind of level of fame.
Chevy Chase. It was fun.
Jamie's my dog. No, I'll be honest.
I was dreading it, but I really did have fun. You were dreading it because it's nerve-wracking to do live shows.
Like that. Well, I think the money is what...
Look at it from my point of view. Yeah.
I went from the movie Early to Dallas Right So I had to wait three days in Dallas To do that show Yeah you were hanging out So you have to understand That there's like some resentment building You're right Like what am I doing here man What the fuck Right For how much You know what I mean And I was just repeating that Yeah But then we'll go to a meeting I think it would calm down You went to a meeting to calm down. Yeah, yeah.
And I was meant to go probably to meet that kid. You definitely were.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you were.
Yeah, Norman was great. We had some lunch beforehand.
Mm-hmm. And he was like, yeah, I piggybacked some shows.
Did a couple shows at the Den. Great venue.
I have to say, though, this Monday night meeting I go to, I can't say who it is, but he's a gigantic, gigantic, gigantic musician. So I go to the- Hold on.
Did I ever tell you about my Monday nights that I go to? You told me, yeah. Celebrity one, right? It's not a celebrity one.
Okay. Wait, men's? It's a men's meeting, but it's old rock legend.
Steven Tyler. No, he's not it.
Axl Rose. We're not doing this.
Oh, I know. It's Lash.
What? Slash. No, no, it's not.
No, it's not. Bill Lash.
It's the anonymity part. I can't say this part anyway.
Oates. Okay.
Oates. Yes.
And Garfunkel. Oates, Garfunkel, the other guy from Wham! Hall.
Yeah, yeah. But he's literally like one of the greatest, right? I've been going to this meeting for 20 years.

Paul McCartney.

Elvis.

And I try to look at him.

And I wore his t-shirt the other day.

So dumb.

I did.

You wore the shirt of the band.

Because I want him to even look at me.

Yeah.

Right?

So I had the shirt and I was doing this.

Sitting like this.

And he just would.

He's literally directing my eyeline.

He won't look over.

Yeah, because he knows you're peacocking. Yeah.
And then, you know, I made up the story when I shared and got everyone all emotional. Was it going to a rapper's house? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still nothing.
But anyway, I don't know why I said that. But what happened in the Monday night meeting that was important? Nothing.
I'm sorry. Is there food at the Monday night meetings?

No.

Coffee and water.

Have you ever thought

about bringing food

for people?

What are you going to give?

No.

Would that be a move?

No.

That's not a move.

I mean,

I can bring cookies.

Do you bring anything ever?

No.

No one brings anything.

You can make it

your own commitment though

if you want to give more.

I'll go,

hey.

You could be like,

I'll bring my cookies.

So I shared the, I shared that story, Dallas and the kid in a minute. Yeah.
And I got everyone teared up in the room. Of course.
It's beautiful. What is this? Oh, by the way, after all the hate I get, Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak prints his own custom $2 bills and spends them.
Thank God. Thank God the internet is backing me up.
All the people that make fun of me online, all the times people mock me, the Wazi Wazi prints $2 bills, Bobby, in your face. It's real.
Wow. And he spends them.
There's the Waz dog right there. Wow.
I don't remember. So by law, these are by law, they're legal tender.
I have been spending them. You can get arrested for them.
you cannot get convicted because you're in the right he's printing his own two dollar bills and i sell them i sell sheets of four two dollar bills for five dollars and of course i tell you what you're getting is worth fifty dollars it's worth you'd be an idiot not to buy it for five bucks i sell them all over the place and the secret service the secret service proved these three times the nerve the nerve of this guy by the way printing money he's one of the richest men in the world and he's print literally doing he's spitting in the face of poor people i'm printing money i'm the phrase i'm literally printing money by the way something is happening by the way there's a revolution coming i feel it no no i'm at all. Oh my God, are you ready? I have seeds.
Something's happening. I have seeds and bottles of water.
I feel that something's coming. They're big, big dog CEOs, big, big presidents are going to get in trouble.
People are going to start taking people out. The doomsday clock has 89 seconds to midnight.
We're so close. The world is about to collapse.
I was in the desert. I met a guy.
He was a sweet guy. He said he worked for some company, not going to say.
And he goes, yeah, these other people in my company keep pushing me to get security. They're afraid for my life.
I said, why don't you do it? Let's get trailers. Let's get trailers.
I'm one's gonna kill podcasters oh we're not involved what I want to be involved you're wrong you're not I want to get a stick you can get a stick okay okay give him the stick with a pinata all right no but really when you mean revolution what do you mean I think there's going to be an uprising I think there's going to be an uprising and I mean this there's going to be an uprising. I think there's going to be an uprising.
And I mean this. There's going to be an uprising of the lower and middle class.
And they are going to go after the top tier. The guys who own Amazon, who own Microsoft, the guys who control all of these big monolithic corporations.
I think it's going to happen. But if you see- I think it's i think it's gonna happen these town halls now right you can see the anger and you're seeing people that normally normally wouldn't protest yeah and say things just up screaming and and and interrupting and you know i mean they're they're they're in rage mode people are people are gonna fight back it's gonna happen so get ready because it's coming i thought about let's get a trailer no no we're fine okay we gotta get seeds we'll get the seed okay i've always wanted seeds and a bee's want to watch them grow yeah we'll get some seeds you could do that can you do it can we can we get seeds though oh my god air one sells seeds great yeah we'll buy them from air one no but we gotta get seeds that get seeds.
I see them on TikTok a lot. You see TikTok seeds? Yeah, like a variety pack.
All I see on TikTok now is people telling me that you're fat and you're lazy and you need to get up and make money. TikTok is all like, you want to optimize your day? You think your day starts when you wake up? time you wake up i've done six jobs yeah i've had six jobs i i impregnated four women and i tripled my bank account yeah while you're sleeping that's what i see on instagram tiktok now is getting boring you're two months ago i fucking searched animals with down syndrome and now's just keep getting like every other one.

It's like koala work.

You know what I mean?

It's crazy.

Oh my God.

That's an.

Yeah.

I do it.

And they're cuter when they have it.

Well,

the dog,

the koala is.

Look at the koala with this little fat tongue sticking out.

I didn't know that they got down syndrome.

I think they all do.

Yeah.

Anyway, seeds. Let's go back to seed.
Dude, that's me. There I am.
That's my kid. Yeah.
You want seeds. I think there's going to come to a time when peak oil happens.
Peak oil. You know peak oil? When we run out of oil? No, it's not when we run out.
We get to the top precipice of where oil right we can get it and then the demand is gonna be too high high because the the world is growing population wise and we have bigger like um we have empires not like india and china right and so when it we can't have the demand that's when things start breaking down because fossil fuel isn't something that you can just make it's just there it exists well and then once you're done with it all it's not there anymore we'll find something by then well hopefully but my point is that after peak oil and then all of a sudden we can't get blueberries from mexico or whatever you don't need them okay okay then you can't get plantains from brazil but look at this it suggests between 2028 and 2035 i will say we will find a continuation of alternative solutions when we're put in a corner humans do great things have you seen by the way japanese are using kinetic energy to to now try to um power cities entire cities they have these things on the ground that you walk on just regular sidewalks. And by stepping on it right there, they're triangles.
No, no, do the one that's triangles down that one. Wow.
So these are kinetic energy walkways and they're putting them all over Japan. When they walk, they capture the kinetic energy, which turns into electricity, powering an entire city.
Amazing. So the proposition is that this will be all over major cities new york chicago miami where there's a lot of foot traffic and it will end up powering the city itself look dude the smartest people in the world are continuing to work on great shit i'm not saying i just don't know i mean why don't we have it now then everything's take time i know but they're making it for themselves though but jimmy carter back when he was president, was talking about...
Let's move to Japan. He was talking about peak oil back then.
I know. This is a danger.
I know, but look, it's not happened yet. We keep putting shit off.
Look, dude, we're all dead. I got so many microplastics.
I know. I pissed a Lego yesterday.
I know, I know, I know, I know. I mean, it's like, it's fucked.
You know, whenever I go to eat sushi, and I'm like, yeah, you get too much sushi, you're going to blank, blank, blank. Well, fine.
I like the sushi. I like sushi.
I'm going to keep eating poisoned fish from the sea. Drinking this, you get a little microplastic.
Right. Again, what am I supposed to do? Exactly.
What are we supposed to do? Get a well. Get a well.
Yes. Dig a well.
Yeah. And then there's piss and poop in the well somehow.
You see the way people act in public? And I'm like, no shit, we're fucked. Like what? The way that we, okay, we were going, we were going to try to get a car to go to the airport and there was traffic, like crazy traffic because they're doing something to the expressway again in Chicago.
And these people were waiting outside of the hotel to get autographs from, the hockey team was in town and the LA Kings were staying there. And the way these men would like bump in front of each other and throw each other out of the way to get an autograph from another grown man.
I'm like, oh, we're fucked. We're fucked.
Grown men. Yeah.
Like, I mean, literally fighting for airtime space to have another man sign a piece of paper that most likely they want to sell. They not going to keep it and they're not making a living off of this they're just they just want the satisfaction but they were like fighting i was like we're fucked as a society we're fucked i've never asked for an autograph have you absolutely when i was a kid when i was a child i didn't know anybody well you were you were deprived of all maybe the local

barber look at that your autographs are for sale online there you go that was someone you signed at the airport yeah that is that is my signature yes 100 yeah how much is it going 67 dollars oh don't laugh mine's less for sure andrew santino 30 dollars is mine that's 85 Look at Andrew Gentino autograph, $26 max.

I won't breach 30.

59, 40. for sure andrew santino 30 is mine that's 85 look at andrew santino autograph 26 max i won't breach

30 59 42 i'm less see 49 124 because it's you and i together wow 30 do people buy it no somebody

must it exists oh that's a a 50 what just one of our tour posters with all of us or just you and I wow that's a little offensive yeah it's 15% off when did they decide to take it down well it's been up for 15 years Nice

Dude

Dude

Dude

These kids gone

No can I just say something

That tone was insane

That was crazy dude

It's an addict's parents

That's what it was

Hey

Happy birthday Andreas

Happy birthday Fancy Thank Happy birthday, Fancy.

Thank you.

You say it.

You say it.

Thank you for being

a bad friend.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo. Woo.
Woo. Woo.
Woo. Woo.
Yeah.