Ouch! w/ Marc Maron

Hey!

Hey!

Oh!

Oh, look at what goes on my feet!

Look at what goes on my hands and my body.

And look at what goes on our head.

Yeah, and my head.

We got new merch, new socks and shirts.

It's been a long time since we've made merch, but we really love this drop.

That's why we did it.

We waited.

We think this is

so cool.

Baseball caps.

Baseball caps.

The t-shirts.

We have the thank you t-shirts.

And socks.

And we have socks.

Available right now at badfriendsmerch.com.

Don't go chasing waterfalls.

Through the rivers and the light and the seas.

I know that you're gonna have it your way or not.

But I think you're moving too fast.

You know the whole lyric, huh?

I have no lyrics.

I seen the rainbow yesterday.

And so many.

You know that song?

What?

I got you a gift to start the show.

Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum.

Gift, gift, dun.

I have no gift.

Well, last time you told us about how much your new hobby has enthralled you.

And although we couldn't get you exactly what I thought we were supposed to get you, we got you something else.

Who did it?

Yes.

What size are they?

Your size.

Nine?

Nine, baby.

They're nice.

You like these?

I love Europa.

These are the Europa track control.

These are the grippers.

This was.

Whose are there that they wore and then they didn't want to wear anymore?

No, this was a 14-year-old boy who lives in Burbank.

That's what we got them from.

No, really?

Yeah.

But they're yours now, dog.

Thanks, bud.

And look at the rubbers worn out on the brakes.

Do they work, though?

Do they work?

Well, they don't break unless the wheels don't work, but of course they work.

Strap up and rock out.

You want to take a break and roll around the parking lot for a minute?

$11.99?

That's how much they were.

$11.99.

What would you like them to be?

$300.

$300.

Why?

I want the high-tech versions of this.

Those are the highest tech.

Dude, I can go online right now and get a higher tech.

It's last year's model.

Is it really?

Yeah.

That kid was ripping.

Oh, I don't like it.

Come on, put him on.

Was it put him on and rip around the neighborhood for one minute, please?

It would really help me out.

Really?

Yeah, but I'm having a tough day.

I need a good day.

All right.

Hell yeah.

Are you being real?

Yes.

I wipe out.

I swear to God.

You're not going to wipe out.

Come on.

Where do we go?

Jump something, jump something.

Dude, he's doing a move.

He's doing the Elon.

Jump over the yellows.

Jump over the yellows.

You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots?

A white dude and an Asian dude.

You two are disgusting.

Probably you two or something.

We're bad friends.

Put your computer up there.

Yeah.

Yeah, those are gone.

Um, I don't think we have ice here.

I think you have to go get ice.

You okay, Bob?

Ah.

ah.

Who has that clip of him falling?

That's all I heard.

You laughing.

No, and that makes me realize that we don't have the friendship that we have.

I'm not sure.

I ran.

I said, Are you okay?

Then I turn and saw.

Oh, you said okay, and then you cackle like a hyena.

We have the footage.

If you want to rewind it, we can actually watch what happened.

Is you fell, I go, oh my god, is he okay?

And then I turn my head while we're coming over to you, and those two Mexican guys are dying laughing.

And I mean, dying, laughing.

Am I wrong?

Do you have audio on that?

See my friend, my supposed friend cackling like a hyena.

Oh, you jump over.

You said jump over.

No, he said it.

No, you said.

Don't wait, wait.

Stop, stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

That wasn't Mexicans laughing.

You left as soon as the fall happened, you piece of shit, dude.

There was, no, no.

Rewind it.

Look to my right.

To my right.

It's an Irish, Irish laughter.

To my right.

You didn't even look right.

He's looking.

That's where he's looking.

He's looking at me.

I'm looking.

Yeah.

He's laughing and you look.

You laughed and then you looked, you piece of shit, dude.

That's not cool, dude.

Oh my.

Is that you okay?

Laughing.

Watch, listen to the rest.

Are you okay?

Honestly, concerned.

Fuck, we said.

Hands on hips, nervous.

Carlos, laugh.

See?

See?

It's all, are you okay?

Look at the Mexicans.

Look at them.

Look at the Mexican dudes laughing.

Look, he's right there.

Dude, look at him laughing.

Look at these Mexican guys laughing.

Trump, do your job, Trump.

And get these guys.

They're cracking the fuck up.

Yes, he is.

Zoom at that guy right now.

Freeze.

Zoom in on the other guy.

Okay.

From what I see, there's two of them.

He ain't laughing, dude.

Yes, he 100%.

He's laughing.

Yes, he was.

Everybody saw it.

Wait, go back to the fall, though.

Oh, my fucking God, dude.

Here, we have this different angle.

Two angles.

Wait.

This is what?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

That's the first thing you hear.

Well, I asked, are you okay?

Not the first one.

Are you okay in a laughing hyena style?

Laugh, dude.

Rewind the laughter.

Three, are you okay?

Get the audio up, dude.

So many are you okay.

Shut the fuck up, you dude.

You're a piece of shit.

So many are you okay.

You got a friend of mine.

You okay, Bob?

Volume.

See, are you okay, Bob?

We're concerned.

Go right to that fall again.

All right, everybody, don't laugh.

Don't laugh.

When the fall happens, do not laugh.

If you smile, I will literally.

No, put your shirt down.

And if you guys smile, I'm

dude.

I'm going to leave.

Dude, I really am going to leave.

If you guys laugh, you're going to go

again, deep shit.

No more.

I'm not even fucking kidding.

Bob, hold on.

Stop.

Play the video, and if anybody in the fucking boost laughs, you're fired.

Any enthusiasm or no, you can't cover your mouth.

Fuck you.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Show your face, you cowards.

All right, go.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Carlos, you're fired.

God, he's might not be.

See, look, and I'm concerned.

Are you okay?

Five, are you okay?

Why are you crying?

Because I'm sad that you got hurt.

I'm laughing at this joke, not you.

One more for the other angle.

You okay, buddy?

Hold on.

I have a third.

There's a third angle.

Hold on, play this out.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

See, fancy smiling.

Yeah.

I need um.

No, these guys are looking.

The Mexicans, dude.

Did you break your wrist?

I think I did.

I'm sorry, dude.

You literally aren't a friend of mine.

It's so sad.

It's so fucking sad.

Those guys are laughing, and it made me laugh.

No, dude.

You laughed at impact.

That's not true.

We just watched it again.

I didn't even

crack a smile.

Watch the first one again.

Watch the first one, and I won't laugh.

Okay.

Watch.

Watch.

Listen to me.

Right when I fall.

Jump over the curb.

Jump over one of the yellow ones.

You're the one one that you're the fucking dick.

Pause.

Pause it.

Jump over the curb.

Start it over.

Jump over the curve.

Macone yells.

It doesn't matter.

Jump over the curb, and I go, Yeah, jump over the curb.

I repeat what you said.

That is true.

I'm a bit of a trick.

Jump inside the volcano.

Yeah, jump inside the volcano.

Well, I thought it'd be cool.

I thought it'd be cool if you jumped over the volcano.

You went in.

Okay, go ahead.

You didn't even get near the

see.

He just said jump over the yellow one.

Fuck you.

Stop it.

Sit down.

Please sit.

Let's move forward.

That's insane, dude.

Look, we all learned a lesson.

No more gifts.

This was retaliation, if I'm being honest, from how much my heart hurt when I bought you those Arsenal shoes and you didn't like them.

That's kind of what those.

Oh, really?

And I knew that you'd fall on these and I bought them

knowing you'd fall.

fall yeah one christmas

i bought probably four or five thousand dollars worth of gifts to you

and yours is worth what three four hundred dollars we can get into a little i've gotten i've given you more gifts consistently than you've ever given me and the and i do it in chunks in big chunks you do it once you did it one time yeah oh my god i'm sorry that you feel bad you need to put ice on your hand again though yeah you just ice it oh my god it was terrible dude anyway that's not what it's like when you go to the roller rink no it's way more smooth you don't go have to go it's not bumpy well chiseled chiseled uh

concrete is not the most.

I was doing some moves out there even too.

It looked good.

Yeah, I was slicing it out and everything too.

And then the middle part of the thing I can handle.

But when it got bumpy, and when I heard the little weasel go, jump out of the curb.

Jump over the red yellow thing, bud.

That was him.

Yeah.

Jump over the yellow thing, buddy.

Yeah,

he was instigating.

You weren't even attempting to jump, but you just fell in the middle.

Yeah, I'm not a fucking professional rollerblader, dude.

Not anymore.

So I think even me saying that is ultimately irrelevant because

you didn't hurt yourself jumping over the yellow thing.

You just couldn't even get over the middle of the street.

Oh my God.

Don't.

Please don't.

Oh my God.

We're done.

We're done.

No, no, no.

Please.

Oh, my God.

I'll make you control the fucking punches.

Okay.

You're fucking addicted.

You know, I got to tell you something.

Can I tell you something why I love you so much?

Shut up.

I was having a real, real bad day.

Fuck off.

Okay,

you want me to level with you for real?

My dad had a heart attack last night.

Jesus.

And he's in the hospital.

So I was having a crazy attack.

Which one?

What do you mean, which one?

Stepdad or real dad?

My real father.

Okay.

What is that?

You laugh now?

The one who wouldn't have abandoned you?

And she, you laughed?

Yeah, yeah.

The reason that you laugh.

Say it again.

The reason you laugh

is why I laugh when you fall on rollerblade.

Say it again.

My father had a a heart attack last night.

You think it's funny?

See?

Now, are we even now?

Now we're even.

Oh, is he okay?

He is okay.

Really, is he going to be okay, though?

We'll find out.

All right.

Sorry.

No, it's okay.

Yeah, yeah.

But that's why I laugh at you when you fall.

Yeah.

Because you're actually.

A little different.

Because you're actually a bad person.

No, you're a terrible human being.

Like you're genuinely a bad person.

You're a terrible human being.

Well, you'll be hearing from somebody.

Whom?

Your assistant can't even answer your text.

So you're going to go get a fucking lawyer.

So Andrew texts my existent assistant on Monday.

she doesn't reply until friday that's right one week

right i go hey what's bobby's schedule she has a shit you know he has a shit storm you know what i mean enraged right to whom about my assistant i didn't say anything bad to her i just go don't worry about it no you said great assistant toe when i called five days yeah five days right and i called my assistant five days yeah yeah i called my assistant i go great job

continue the work my friend and then she texted me and was like i'm so sorry i'll never do this you went camping yeah nice she can't go camping?

Brother,

she's been camping.

Oh, is it another fucking weight joke?

What?

I don't even know what she looks like.

I've never seen her in my life.

Body shaming me.

You know what's interesting?

I've never seen what she looks like.

And here Bobby is saying how he feels.

So you're projecting.

No.

Oh, interesting.

Really?

I've never met this human in my life.

I don't even know who it is.

It's an apparition.

As far as I'm concerned.

You've never met Melanie, my assistant.

When would I have ever met fucking Melanie?

Well, then take that out.

No, fuck you.

No, that that at least stays in.

You feel that way.

Yeah, you do.

Body shame people.

Never seen her in my life.

Don't even know.

By the way,

as far as I'm concerned, she's chat GPT.

I don't even know if she's fucking real.

I've never even known this human to be real.

Also, fat people don't go camping.

Bam.

Oh, my God.

Bam, dude.

This guy's shooting the fact gun.

Dude.

Put away your fact gun, dude.

You asked me for restaurant recommendations.

Oh, my God.

Did I send you to a good spot?

We can't go for negative to positive that quick.

That's the best thing.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no.

I know.

The part of the show.

I can't change my

channel that quickly.

You fall.

You make fun of my dad that has a heart attack.

No, no.

He's in the hospital right now.

Like a little child at a parking lot.

Are you okay?

Were you okay?

Are you okay from the fall?

Is your daddy going to die?

Maybe.

Maybe.

Huge difference between the two.

You falling in the parking lot.

Yeah, and you fell, you little fat jelly roll.

Yeah, I got, now, now, how is it that he's more mad than me?

No, no, I'm not mad.

If you shoot, shoot at me, I'm going to shoot back.

You shut up me first.

How?

You gackling when I was falling.

It's hilarious.

It's hilarious.

When a short little fat guy falls on rollerblades.

To see if it's funny.

Huh?

You want to watch it again, see if it's funny?

No.

What I mean, dude?

Dude, it's funny.

All right.

It's fucking.

This is inherently funny.

Yeah, yeah.

That's good.

That's a good.

That's a good.

Oh, no.

Oh no!

Oh no!

I fall.

I fall.

I fall on the ground.

I go for the yellow thing.

I fall on the ground.

Laugh into the mic so we know you're laughing.

Will you cut it out?

Having a blast.

Man,

and a beautiful sunny day, no less.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In front of my two favorite Mexicans.

Embarrassing.

All right, jump to something fun.

Imagine if they were like a group of like hot chicks.

I mean, come on.

That would have been so sad for me.

No, no.

See, I disagree.

Hot chicks would have found it endearing that we were having fun with it.

And they would have been like, Are you okay?

Are you okay?

No, they'd be like, Are you okay?

No, it's not high school.

That's right.

That's high school.

Are you okay?

What?

They would have got the ick.

They would have got the ick for sure.

If they were.

A guy with no balance.

People want balance.

How about this?

Like, what if they, what they look for?

A job?

You know what I mean?

Security, balance.

Look up traits that women love in men.

Balance is not on there.

Balance is on there, dude.

No, it's not.

Yeah.

Traits that women love in men.

Ready?

Confidence, kindness, intelligence, balance.

Oh, my God, it is.

It's horse one.

Yeah, yeah.

Sense of humor.

Sense of humor.

See, you fell, we laughed.

I know, but not that.

Carlos back me up about ick.

Yeah, it's totally ick.

If they're a producer, ick, not get a job.

How about this?

Ick, if they're.

He's not going to be in fucking Commando 2.

You know what I mean?

He's got to run across the field with a fucking M16.

You know what the producer?

You know what?

The producers of Karate Ghost, they'd be like, we got to put this guy in the movie again.

In mid-air, you did a kick.

You did a karate girl.

I didn't kick, dude.

Both of my left kicked out.

Do women find it important for men to have balance?

Do women find it important for men to have balance?

You want to find out.

Fuck.

There's a rock in there.

Oh, there's a piece of skin.

Yeah, you want some?

No, thank you.

Yeah, yeah, I'm going to put it on your body.

All right, and I'll punch you.

Why?

I don't want your skin.

Yeah, put my skin on your body, dude.

I don't want it.

That makes that blood brother.

Look,

generally, women find it important for men men to have a healthy work-life balance and you do work and life out there work and life out there oh oh my god you have a band-aid or no

i doubt this place has a band-aid okay i don't even know if we we don't have like proper anything here okay you know someone else said that who walked in the studio and goes this is how you guys operate yeah this place is a joke

it's a joke yeah people go oh congratulations you know you you got a great podcast and i'm like we live we work in a dump we work in a dump in an alleyway but don't you like isn't this good It's the way it is.

I would rather this than the other thing.

It's like Sesame Street.

Like, we went down Sesame Street, right?

And then there was like a door there.

What's up?

He's got paper towels.

Please.

Do you want some?

Get him some

Purell.

Purel is alcohol.

It's going to hurt, but you got to.

Oh, my God.

You have to clean the cut.

Oh, you do it.

I'm going to close my eyes.

Fuck.

Give it to me.

Do you have a tetanus?

Have you been when was the last time you got a tetanus shot?

I've never gotten one.

Oh, shit.

Okay.

Ah!

Ah, sorry.

Sorry, sorry.

Yeah, but you have to.

You have to clean it.

Ah, sorry.

Punch him.

Take it out of Macon.

Take it out of Macone.

Anyway, let's go to positive.

Let's go to positive.

You called me up.

You said I need a good breakfast restaurant.

I suggested it.

It was called Miracle Bakery.

Yep.

In Burbank.

So I was with somebody I'm seeing, and we were in Burbank.

And we were shopping.

I bought a

2012 Godzilla statue.

Shut up.

How big?

It was like this big.

Wait, is it at your house now?

Yeah.

I also got a

Master Blaster statue.

Dude, where did you go shopping?

It's called

Blast from the Past.

Oh, in downtown.

Yeah.

I know exactly where it is.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

So I got a Master Blaster, and then I got a Transformer, old Transformer, and then I got a bunch of stickers and whatnot.

And then we were, I got that.

Whoa.

And then we,

you know, and then my date was like, she was like, um, I want something breakfasty.

Like, I don't know any other thing around here.

Let's just get tacos.

I want breakfasty.

Yeah, you got to do what they want.

When they want breakfast, you got to get it.

I called Andrew, and he brought me to a place that was really good.

And I'm going to be honest.

Let me be honest.

When you ask me about a spot, don't I deliver?

Typically, I love that.

That's the thing about you.

That's why I call you.

I know, I love you.

Especially in the Burbank area because you used to live in that area.

I love Burbank.

That I know that you know the spots there.

I think you know, globally, like

if I'm in like Indianapolis, I think you know.

I got you.

Yeah, you got me.

Anywhere in the cities, I think you know.

Yeah, the rurals are going to be hard for me.

Even places like Taipei, if you're in Taipei, I can hook it up.

You can hook up Taipei, yeah.

So

Miracle Bakery, phenomenal stuff.

Everyone's great.

Go say hi.

Also,

they treated me like a king.

Well, you are.

No, they were just nice to everybody.

They're great people.

Yeah, yeah.

They make phenomenal food and they cook it all there.

We disagreed with the donut.

What happened?

Well, this is not a really...

You're a donut donut purist.

It's different.

Yeah.

I disagreed with the donut.

Okay.

A donut.

I mean, but their specialty was all the other.

The breakfast items are their best.

Yeah.

What was wrong with the donut?

It was like a faux nut kind of

consistency wasn't what I know.

It's probably a little healthier.

Probably.

That's why it's not good.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, look, healthy stuff that's supposed to be unhealthy.

But everything else was excellente.

Oh, no.

Whoa, it's vacation, Marin.

It's you wear sports.

I've never wear slippers.

What the slippers about?

Blue chair, babe.

Blue chair.

Yes, dude.

What's your print?

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Cachava.

Okay, so over the years, I've taken protein powders, different type of things.

For years you've been doing that.

I've been doing it and cachava is my favorite one because I'll tell you why.

The flavor, the chocolate, the matcha one, the one with vanilla in it.

There's one with chai.

There's a chai one.

What you do is you just take two scoops, put it into a, what do you call it, a container?

A little shaker.

A shaker.

Yeah, they give give you a shaker.

Shake it.

Yeah, they give you one.

You shake it about five or six times.

Last night, I had hunger pains, as you know, you know, and I took two chocolate ones, right?

Shook it.

Hunger puns waited away, right?

My body felt great, right?

I love cachava.

You look great, by the way.

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Did you see the sign here, by the way, Mark?

Did you see what the kids did for you?

Oh, that's nice.

That's awesome.

That's clever.

Do you have a volume for my cans?

This is it?

Yeah, no, no.

He'll tell you.

He'll adjust you right there.

Some volumes, please.

Yeah, I like to.

He's older.

He might not hear well.

Well, that's funny.

That's a pretty good one.

How's the new material coming?

Oh, oh, okay.

You go right to the throat.

That's fucking cruel.

And let me tell you something.

That's cruel ever.

And last night, I have to say, Peter Shore came up to me and goes, That's six minutes I've never even seen before.

I know.

And they're strong.

He told me today I just spent four hours with him.

Yeah.

And did he say something about

my act?

Yeah, he said he did new material.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Then what's the slam about?

I thought it would roll right off you because it's not true.

No, but I should do more.

The output should be more.

Dude, Aaron.

He knows he's clever.

He's so good at what he does.

He's he did.

He is.

Only with comics.

You want me to be open?

I can be open.

Yeah, be open.

Yeah, you can fly free on this show.

I feel that.

I feel safe with you guys.

You should.

That's when I was driving over here.

I thought this is going to be a supportive, safe room.

Yeah.

You can say whatever you want.

Say whatever you want.

No, I got nothing.

Do you guys have a plan?

No, the question.

The yam ring.

We do.

We got a plan for the yam.

Yeah, yeah.

The question to me is, why would you end?

I want to say something before I even say that.

I want to say that I feel like there's two people that are the pioneers in terms of comedy that inspired this generation to do it, which is a generation below you.

Yeah, I get it.

It's you.

Just one below me.

And Mario Batali.

For sure.

This podcast is

so good.

I think we probably all owe it to Tom Green.

Yeah, we do, actually.

I did, Tom.

Yeah, yeah, right.

Tom was first.

With the video, podcast.

With the video, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But yeah, me and who else?

Rogan.

Okay.

Who's that?

Who's that?

Joe Rogan.

Joey.

Joseph Rogan?

Yeah, he's out of Texas.

Oh, he taxes.

Got it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got it.

Got it.

You love Austin, don't you?

He's running half the planet out of Texas.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's got a tight hold on the enlightened meatheads.

Dude, Marin's disdain.

It's not disdain.

It's reasonable criticism.

Reasonable criticism.

When was the last time you spoke with him?

I don't know.

That's a good question.

I guess it would have been at the store.

I never talked to him in Austin.

I don't go into the club.

I don't really think I'm on his radar.

Something tells me you are.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, something else.

Yeah, something tells me you are.

I don't, you know, it's weird that you get lumped into a certain thing.

And maybe it's my assumption that, you know, his

army of

healthy fellas.

Is that their title?

Army of Healthy Fellas is so good.

No, you just got to

stay in, keep the machine.

The machine's got to be good.

That's a shot at Bert.

Go ahead.

What do you think the Austin shelf life is going to be?

I don't know.

I think that it's so effectively tribalized at this point.

It really comes down to material.

I mean, at what point,

like, at what point, it's like whatever they represented in terms of policy.

And it's not a stretch.

It's like they won.

Trans people people are frightened.

They have no ability to get health care anymore.

And

they're afraid of being alive and have no freedom left.

So that's done.

When do you stop with the jokes?

Like immigrants, okay, well, they're being ripped away from their homes.

And yeah, and they're, you know, and they're all terrified.

And okay, so that's done.

When do you stop with the jokes?

Right.

I mean, it's one thing to

pick on the vulnerable and the marginalized, but I mean, they're down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, like,

why do you got to keep hitting them?

Unless you're a hack.

Now, there's a question.

Wow, Mark, comes in swinging.

Yeah.

No, so I don't know the last time I talked to Joe.

People for a while were like, you know,

why don't you go on Joe's show?

And my answer to that is like, why?

Why?

Why?

Right.

Well, it doesn't service you.

Well, no, I don't need him.

And also,

there's no way for me to, like, what am I going to talk to him about?

And there's no way for me to

sort of not walk out of there and be like, all right, I guess I'll look at my phone.

Oh, fuck.

How long is this going to go on for?

But it's like Martin Luther King and Malcolm X made me meeting at one point.

You think, let's go historical with it.

Say it again?

Malcolm X and

Martin Luther King meeting.

They met at one point.

Yeah.

Well, that's right.

Pioneers of the civil rights movement.

Which one is Malcolm X and which one's Martin Luther King?

Martin Luther King.

I don't really think that.

That's not Martin Luther.

The analogy doesn't work.

No, no, no.

He's so bad analogies.

Let him keep going with this.

It's going to get funnier as it goes on.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, let me go with more analogies.

He's like, this is if Hitler's and Goebbels had to hang out off the work site.

Like, one of those is right.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think you got half that analogy.

See,

why could you just once support me, you know what I mean?

With a analogy.

Shut up.

But that was just wrong.

It brought race into it in a very profound way.

Mine was angled and funny.

Yeah, yeah, distant.

It went somewhere else.

Yeah, I think on one side of that, there's a guy that's aggressively fighting for the civil rights of victimized white people.

God knows they've had it hard enough

for a long enough time.

But

has Joe asked you?

No.

Here's a better angle for you.

Adam used to go like, hey, what?

And I'm like, no, why?

Why?

Well, because it's interesting being someone like us on the outside of it and watching you.

Oh, you got one foot in, baby.

Well, yeah,

it's right up your ass.

Yeah.

That's the other foot.

I think what it is for me is I would love to see you guys chat, but I'd love to see you guys chat in neither of your arenas.

It would be the only way it'd be legit.

Because if you have to go to his show, not going to work.

Very good.

He has to go to your house.

Not going to work.

You guys would have to do this thing.

It's like setting up a mob meeting here.

Yeah.

No, seriously.

They should do it here.

You should do it here at Bad Friends.

It would piss both of them off so fucking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look at the art behind them.

I know.

It would just be of us.

This would be good neutral ground.

But you do have to understand something.

I have known Joe since he started.

Yeah.

I mean, literally since he first set foot on stage.

In Boston, I was there.

In Boston.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I remember my initial issues were there was another guy, Kevin Flynn, who's out of the game, and he was like a soccer jock.

And at that time, Joe was like a regional kickboxing champion.

And my

initial reaction was like, what are these guys doing here?

This isn't for them.

All right.

It's like Louis once said to me years ago when Jay Moore started in New York when he was like 17.

He's like, it's not for them.

It's not for the good-looking guys.

It's not for the jocks.

This is for us rejects, us guys who don't fit in.

That's what comedy was.

By the way, was Jay Moore that good-looking?

Is am I crazy?

He was cute back then.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

Okay, but let's be honest.

Let's go back to the truth tree then.

Mark Marin is a good-looking guy.

Not always.

I'm Mark Mariner.

You're sweaty.

Dude, why are you getting TV shows every fucking second, man?

And we'll get to that.

That's my looks.

We'll get to that in a second.

It is.

Your face, I've seen you on screen.

No, he's a handsome guy.

It's annoying.

You have great angles on your face.

When you were young.

Now.

Yes, you're right.

You matured.

When you were young, you were hideous.

You're a hideous man by the way.

I was sweaty and

bloated and long hair.

But getting back to Joe, look, I imagine

sex machine, dude.

That was okay.

Ladies, who's that?

That's a hot.

Look, I really couldn't land on a look, could I?

Yeah.

God, you really rotated.

Now go to the

Comedy Central photo down below.

Yeah.

Awful.

Awful.

Awful.

That was a bad night.

Awful.

I mean, this is what anyone semi-stream of.

That's not quite, that's not quite a full Jew.

I would say full Jew.

Look at the one of me and Sam Kennison.

That is me at my drugged out fucking best.

Wow.

What a legendary photo.

That's such a good photo.

What a crazy.

I was out of my mind.

I know.

Out of my mind.

Everything had a reason.

Was that at Crest Hill?

Did you live in a Crest Hill?

Yeah, I did.

That was in the back lot.

Yeah.

Wait, hold on.

Was that Fitz?

Was that you and a young Fitz in the show?

Yeah, yeah.

That was in Boston.

Me and Fitz.

Look at that, dude.

Oh, my God, dude.

I've never seen this photo.

Look at how jacked Fitz looks.

Wow.

And then up there on the, where's that one of me and Dave Cross in the red shirt?

Dave Cross, it was probably in the mid-90s, yeah.

Hey.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

But that night for the Comedy Central, the first half hours,

I fucked it, man.

It was so sad, dude, because I got out here.

I wasn't living out here, and I was still doing Coke then, right?

And I had one guy who would get me the blow here, right?

And it was, you remember, you remember Bob Baker?

Oh, yeah.

Sure.

Bob Baker.

Bob Baker, dude.

I couldn't trust Chewy, but Baker had other connections.

You know, Chewy.

Chewy had other connections.

You know, Chewy.

Out the blues.

You can get in there for free.

Yeah.

But

I don't know what happened to Baker, but he wasn't a dealer.

But he was here.

And I would say, like, I'm coming out.

You know, try to get some.

So I was really dead set on trying to keep clean before that special.

And I thought I did because I was like, you know, I'll just do a little the night before, but I'll stop at like six at night, you know?

And,

but needless to say, I didn't sleep much and I tanked.

I didn't tank, but it was not good.

It was the same, that was like the same night that Hedberg, whether it was that night or the night after, did the special that made him.

Yeah.

But he didn't do well either, but he was him.

I was at that special.

Yeah.

That was at the Ivy on Ivy.

He bombed so bad.

Well, yeah.

He talks about it in the special, right?

Doesn't he talk about it?

He stops at one point and comes out again.

It was weird.

But it took on mythic proportions that special.

It really was what put him on the map.

But that was the same bunch of taping.

So I was kind of sweaty.

I did okay.

I really didn't have my voice totally.

I was still kind of bitter.

But the saddest thing about this is like, you know, after you do a set like that, you want to go into a room full of friends and like, and they had food there too.

And I'm like, all right, I finished the set and I walk into where the food is.

No one's in there but Baker and he's going, they got roast beef.

And I'm like, wow.

Wow.

Yeah.

Wow.

That's the, that's the victory party.

So what years were you a doorman at the store though?

I got out here, I guess I

guess it was 86 and 87.

Yeah.

So I got out here in like the summer of 86, became head doorman.

And, you know, she made me head doorman.

I got to, I had to get all these idiots' jackets.

It was a different thing there.

She tried to open that, she tried to open one in Universal City.

Wow.

Like in a hotel there.

So it was my job to make the schedule for the door guy.

There was no security or anything, and nobody wanted this job.

Wow.

So it was me, Rod Blackman, who wasn't a comic, Andy Volver,

Mike Jiselnik.

Do you remember that guy?

No.

He was, he became a, he is a lawyer.

He's in Cleveland.

You know,

Jay Pope was another guy.

I can't believe I'm remembering these names.

But like, you know, she was like, man, you got to get him jackets.

And I'm like, well, I got to get him jackets.

So I'm down in fucking Chinatown trying to find black blazers for these idiots.

And, yeah, and then, like, I was living in Culver City with Steve Brill.

And then they kicked me out of the apartment because, like, Pete Berg, you know, the director?

Yeah.

Steve Brill is also director.

I went to college with Steve, and we were best friends.

We actually started doing comedy together.

Pete Berg is killing it now.

He does all right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, he did a few sandwich movies.

He did Sandwich last special, but Berg is definitely killing it.

Definitely killing it.

He's got a real friend.

Oh, he's your college roommate?

Wow.

No.

Steve Brill was my good friend in college.

So Brill lived out here and there was a whole crew of them, including Berg.

When I met Berg, he was like, he was running.

He was trying to act.

I took pictures of those guys and he used a picture I took of him as his headshot for years out in Culver City.

But him

and Brill were friends.

And I was living with Brill in Culver City in a building his uncle owned or his mom or something.

And what happened was Berg needed a place to live.

So all of a sudden they're like, you can stay on the couch.

And it was so sad because I was trying to get in at doing stand-up.

The way I got the job as a doorman at the store is like Mitzi,

I was doing PA work.

This is a funny story.

Like, I didn't know what the fuck to do when I got out here.

I just wanted to be a comic and I didn't know how to get on and know anything.

And I, when I got out here, I'd showcased at the store and I showcased, I don't even think it was a real showcase at the improv.

Um, and I just like didn't know what else to do, there wasn't any other options.

And I started doing PA work, and so the first job I had as a PA was on a,

it doesn't matter.

Yeah, tell me.

Yeah, we have to know.

It was on a shoot.

It was a series of videos called Kid Songs, music videos for kids.

Kids' songs.

Kids' song.

Like Kids' Bop.

Yeah, whatever.

Something like that.

And this one was the circus-themed one.

And they were shooting at the Circus Vargas, which was on, it was not, it was, what do you call it?

When they're not in season.

Off-season.

Off-season.

Right.

So, I know.

It's hard.

I'm getting old.

I'm getting old.

I I see why you're ending the show.

That's pretty good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Wait, wait, save it.

Come on.

Just finish it for five minutes.

Don't attack me.

So, so it's just all these circus people and these kids and the director's all coked up and it's all crazy.

And I'm just a PA running around getting things.

But it's like really, it's all circus people.

And the kids are running around.

And then after a day of shooting, there were two clowns.

And

after we wrap, the clowns come up to me and they're like, You want to get high?

And I'm like, Yeah, okay.

Yeah.

Well, I'm about to play.

I've never been high with a clown.

Well, that's the fucked up thing.

Like, let's go to our trailer.

So I go to the clown trailer and they're in there.

And the one dude just starts rolling a joy.

And I go, wait, hold on.

You got to take the makeup off.

I can't be stunned staring at you guys in fucking clowns.

I can't do the clowning.

The nose.

Is the nose still on?

Everything's on.

Oh, wow.

That's insane.

So, anyway, so I get another PA job for Mitzi.

And I didn't know it.

I just got a job.

You get into this circuit of PAs.

And she was shooting at that time where, where, what is over there now?

Where the Petri is, Petri, used to be the House of Blues.

And before that, it was a house.

It was called,

it was John Barrymore's old house, an old Hollywood house that Mitzi owned.

And she put a restaurant in there called Barrymore's.

And for a while, there, no one would eat there.

Was it good?

I don't know.

It was a full restaurant.

No one would fucking eat there.

Oh, wow.

Well, they tried to offer packages, like, you know, dinner and the show.

So you

dinner, and then you go to the main room show.

But it was a restaurant for a little while, and there were production offices underneath it.

And she was trying to produce the comedy store channel.

So she had all the guys that were working at that time doing all kinds of sketches and all kinds of shit.

It was this big undertaking.

Ollie Joe Prater.

Yeah, probably.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm trying to remember who was.

Well, she was fucking Danny Stone at the time.

Oh, my God.

Danny was like, you know, how are you?

All he did was like, oh, my God.

Rodney David.

He has that kind of eye.

Yeah, always wearing a suit and sweaty.

Yeah.

Bug-eyed.

And, you know, but I heard Jimmy Schubert ate her pussy, but I don't know if I can.

All right, Mark.

That's your story.

Yes.

He diverts.

And it's.

Sorry, sorry.

No, Schubert will cop to that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Schubert used to say.

Really?

I think so.

Oh, that was urban myth.

Okay.

No, no.

He used to say, I had a pager on my dick.

So, wow, wow.

But

I don't want to talk out of school, school, but I think that's public information.

Sure.

Okay, good.

It is now.

So, anyway, so I had auditioned for Mitzi.

Yeah.

And I was running around doing PA on this weird shoot.

You know who was around?

Charlie Barnett.

Charlie Burnett.

Remember the guy from Washington Square Park?

Yep.

He was in DC Cab, I think.

He was a comedy store regular, old street performer.

And I just remember he was around.

Ollie Joe was around.

All of them.

Jan Hart, Karen Haybert, all that crew of the late 80s.

Freddie Asparagus?

No, he wasn't part of that.

Okay.

But I did some blow with Freddy once up at Crestville.

All right.

You know who that is?

I know Freddy Asparagus.

Yeah.

I've heard the name.

Three Amigos.

Yeah.

He played the bartender.

Oh, he was.

You know what?

Yes.

That line.

That

role was a scene.

Yeah.

Where he's like,

I got to get out of this, Tom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I remember.

Yeah.

He's a good guy.

Great guy.

Yeah.

He died, right?

Yeah, he died.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, cool.

So, anyway, so I know I'm in, like, I auditioned for Mitzi.

All I want to be is a comic.

So I'm like, I see her at these, you know, she's running around or moving slowly around in her boa.

secheting around

and i go mitzi i finally get a minute i'm like mitzi i'm mark marin you remember me i auditioned for she for you she goes oh yeah

you're funny go talk to becker and be a doorman wow so i went up to mike becker's office was that a big deal back then yeah wow because that was the entry level position wow so like so then so i go meet with becker and and she's i said she wants me a doorman he's like all right and

then he's like, can you be head doorman?

I'm like, yeah, sure.

And I'm fucking in Chinatown buying jackets for guys.

But so that's how I got in.

Wow.

And what had happened where I was living.

So.

It's Crest Hill.

Wait, how old are you?

No, this is before I moved to Crest Hill because I was still with Burg.

They made me move to the couch at Brill and Berg's at Berg's house.

But then they just started bringing parties home, bringing chicks home, and they'd wake me up.

Berg would be like, play some guitar.

You know, I'm like, what am I, you know, why am I

the bitch in this situation?

Get get us laid dude this is late 80s right yeah and i didn't know how to get an apartment because i was a moron i was like a feral and i'm like i wanted to get an i had to get out of there so i go look at apartments but i don't know how to look at apartments and then like an apartment opens up down the hall some woman needs a roommate down the hall from berg so i go take this apartment and within days you know i'm i'm doing blow she's supposedly sober i get her fucked up on blow and like i drank all her champagne for her party and then there was literally an intervention Like her and her boyfriend and their friend said, you can't live here anymore.

Wow.

And I'm like, all right.

And then

Mitzi was like, you can live at Cranston.

And I'm like, great.

So that's when I.

Who was living there at the time, Crest Hill?

Well, for people that don't know, Crest Hill is a house that the comedy store owners.

Owned.

And it's Mitzywood House.

More on the hillside above the store.

It's right above the hills.

It was a great old place.

At the time,

what was funny?

Cause I got a really good room.

The room right off the kitchen had its own bathroom.

It was a good room.

And then across the way, Todd, Todd Lemish, the Todd.

Tamayo lived upstairs, Tamayo Tuki.

And then across the hall, who the hell was that?

Well, Todd, there was another Todd, the sound guy.

He lived downstairs.

And eventually, Schubert was living upstairs in the porch room for a while.

Nancy Redmond was there for a minute.

I'm trying to remember who lived in that main bedroom, but that was sort of the crew at the time.

But I remember one time because that's why, that's why Kennison was always up there and why I had to go get the booze and everything because he was you know with tomayo and they were always broken up so he would like come up there and we'd do blow for three days and he'd just end up like pounding on her door like tomayo

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It was crazy.

It was, it was, it was the last, I think, really crazy time when I was there.

I talked about this recently with Andy Richter, and it all sort of comes back to you.

You know, because I, I mean, I've told some of these stories before, but it's like when you get back to them, it's sort of like, you know, you start, you start, you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You start getting back into it.

But it was just, it was just so crazy because no Monday night was no cover night, right?

Wow.

So the way that worked was like all the rooms were open.

They had to buy drinks, but that was like Sam night.

So Sam would take over the main room.

Monday night, he'd show up like 10.30, 11.

Wow.

And then it was just all the freaks from Hollywood would converge.

It was just such TV Nicks, everyone, right?

Well, it was like more, it was porn stars occasionally.

People would come and Sam would have to, you know, put on a, like he was a good guy show for him.

I remember, you know, one time, like, I was such a fucking cocky dick.

Like one time in the kitchen, like they, Clapton and Phil Collins had come to see Sam.

Wow.

I don't give a fuck about Collins.

But Clapton, a little bit.

A little, but not much.

You know, so.

What?

He's not there.

Eric Clapton?

Yeah.

Yeah, but he's Eric Clapton.

But like, if I'm a guitar player, so I have him in a certain place.

Okay.

I tend to play more like him than I want to, but I, whatever.

So he's back there.

James Taylor, would you be James Taylor somebody that would be impressed by him?

I interviewed him.

Okay.

He's a lot darker than you think.

Is it?

Yeah.

What is fire and raid me?

Dude, full-on, depressive junkie for years.

Couldn't get out from under it, dude.

Wow, wow, wow.

Couldn't get out from under it.

Isn't that Clapton story, too?

Yeah, but like Clapton.

He's a dark, dark guy.

Yeah, I guess.

But why does he play?

He's kind of a hack.

I love this.

Wow.

Clapton is a hack.

I love that.

A blues hack.

Yeah.

Wow.

I mean, he had pretty good phrasing.

But I think that his best work, oddly, was with like John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers, the first band he was in when he first realized, like, if I just crank this, I can still play these old dumb blueswicks and sound like a genius.

Wow.

What?

I love you.

He'll cop to that.

Joe Bonamasa.

Joe Bonamasa.

Bonamasa is a savant, but I don't know who he is.

Do you?

No, but that's kind of why I like him.

But you don't like him.

You think

he keeps himself hidden in order for us to not fuck him?

No, I just think he's a sort of like

naturally gifted guitar player who can play the fuck out of anything.

And he's a good mimic.

And he's like, you know, he can play like anybody.

Yeah.

But like, I don't, if you can fake feeling,

who do I believe?

You know, like, you got to figure like Freddie King could only play Freddie King.

And when Freddie King plays Freddie King, you're like, holy fuck.

This guy's really in it.

So Bonamasa can play exactly like Freddie King.

I'm like, yeah, but you're not Freddie King.

It sounds right.

But the feeling's not there.

Right.

Well, who makes sense?

Yeah,

who's your god then?

Who's the guitar god?

Well, that's a good question.

Or who are the gods plural then?

Who are the three gods?

If there was a little Mount Rushmore, a little whatever.

Three, four gods.

In terms of guitar playing?

Yeah.

Hendrix.

Look, you know, in terms of blues, you know, I'll go with those old guys.

You know, I like Freddie and I like Albert and I like,

who else do I listen to?

Last name's give me the last name, too, man.

But I like Helen Wolfe.

I like his guitarist, Hubert Sumlin.

I like

what?

He's just deep to cut.

I'm sorry.

Albert Hooms?

Albert King?

Oh.

Albert King was Stevie Ray's guy.

You know Albert King.

He was Stevie Ray's guy.

You do.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

And Freddie King was pretty great.

He's Clapton's guy.

But I like dirty shit.

I like Hound Dog Taylor.

Oh, wow.

I mean, I like dirty fucking blues.

I'm a big Keith Richards guy, and he's not really a lead player, but I love him.

I like Hendrix a lot.

I mean, you can listen to Hendrix.

That stuff's crazy.

It's still funny.

But he's doing buddy.

It's so funny.

I saw

Buddy Guy, you know, because Hendrix got a lot of Buddy Guy in him.

And

it was very funny when I saw a buddy guy in Junior Wells when I was in college

in Cambridge.

They were both shit-faced.

It was second show.

And Buddy was like, you like Hendrix?

I'll show you Hendrix.

And he just started doing these looks.

I'm like, Holy shit,

those are your licks.

But Hendrix was a genius.

You don't like pop bands then?

Like when Nirvana came about, did you like it?

That's pop.

No, I like Nirvana.

Sure.

Okay, okay.

Oh, yeah.

I love all

popular music.

Well, they became very popular.

Yeah, yeah.

No, no, I listened to all the music, dude.

I'm a big giggy pop fan, a pages fan.

Did you ever find it?

I used to listen to, like, I was listening to Skinner the other day.

I grew up in New Mexico, dude.

So I had to.

Right, dude.

But I knew a guy at a record store who was like one of these weirdo art guys, Steve LaRue.

And he turned me on to all the sort of art rock stuff and Bowie.

But on the radio, there was Skinner and all that other shit.

So I'm pretty well-versed in all of it.

What do I go back to the most?

I think I, honestly, I listen to more stones than I just.

Stones more than anything.

Well, I go back to them on ACDC, huge Angus Young fan.

He's definitely one of my guys.

Okay.

Angus Young on the lead guitar.

And a fucking performer, no less.

But you can't beat that guy.

And his licks are just straight up Blueswicks.

But man,

he's one of the best.

Good performer.

Fuck it.

Yeah.

Great guitar player.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Great guitar player.

Did you find yourself ever liking John Prine or no?

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

I like John Pryne.

I can see you liking him a lot.

Oh, he's good.

I interviewed him.

Great guy.

Because I feel like he's kind of your style of guy where

he doesn't.

He's clever.

He's clever.

No, no.

That's not what I would say.

I would say, no, he just doesn't give a fuck

if it feels like it's supposed to be the right way.

If it's like, yeah, I'll do it my way.

He does it his way, and some of his songs are fucking great.

Oh, they're sick.

Angel from Montgomery.

All right, well, why don't you end your podcast?

Sorry about that, Mark.

Oh, let's get back to where we started with.

Yeah, let's go with the original thing.

I don't know what I get.

I drifted from it.

It's just like John Prime, this and that.

Feeling.

I don't know about that.

Well, we're just chatting.

I don't like it.

Let's go to Black Teeth.

But the thing with Joe,

the thing with Joe

is I don't know that we have a lot to talk about because of my, you know, my idea of what he's done to comedy.

Sure.

And I don't think it's great.

I think that it's tribalized.

And I think that he's created a sort of army of people that think they know comedy, but they only know a specific thing.

And what they think is good is not necessarily good.

It may be what they're like, what they like.

But on the outside of that, most of the sort of sensitive weirdos that we all grew up with in comedy have been sort of pushed aside and the space for them has become limited.

And it's a little there was a time though that alt comedy was the not alt comedy.

I'm not even talking about the alt people.

I'm talking about just like interesting stand-ups.

Right.

You know, weirdos.

Yeah.

Like Brent Weinbach has a great specialized.

I think he's so weird.

Joe Mandy.

Yeah, Joe Mandy.

You know, and now it's like kind of this, you know, there's this cultural idea of what comedy is.

Is there a world,

and I understand what you're, I get your perspective.

Yeah.

Is there a world where both these things exist and it doesn't fucking matter?

So, this is what I always say.

Like, I get that you don't like that world.

That's part of why I love you because you're like, fuck that, and you'll shit on it.

And that's what's great about you.

There's some good comics in there, and there is a lot of middle section.

There's a lot, I believe that we all exist in the same world.

And it doesn't matter, is my point.

I get why you

it's not all on him.

No, no.

The culture has changed.

Right.

And, you know, and I don't necessarily think for the better, but it's changed in a lot of ways in that, look, you know, there are comics that only drive clips and, and that, you know, only do crowdwork.

And they don't care if they do other people's jokes because the traction is with the clip.

And what they don't realize, I think, and what a lot of people don't realize is that You're just, you're, you're the, you're the internet's bitch.

You're the platform's bitch.

So in the sense that if you're not able to fucking confidently do an hour without worrying about getting clips so you can get people come see you to do crowdwork, what are you really?

What is your voice?

Who do you work for?

You'd like to think you're working for yourself, but you're just a platform bitch who doesn't really need to find who they are up there or do anything interesting at all.

That's a problem.

Yeah.

So, and the bigger problem about what you're saying, that's, I think we all still do exist, but the nature of the comedy business is fragmented and some of it's tribalized.

But there used to be a lot more weirdos around who were kind of exciting and interesting and took it a different place.

I would argue with just talkie-talk comedy, there's not that many people bringing it to a different place, dude.

Right.

Well, there is some good ones that, like, I think that kid Casey Rocket's really entertaining and fun and different and unique.

I think they're there, right?

Yeah.

I think the problem is

there's so much sludge.

There's so much shit.

There's way more noise than we've ever fucking seen.

So it's hard to appreciate or even care because all that's really being shown is kind of the constant, like, give it to him, give it to him, give it to him, give it to him.

So I guess.

I'm tired of the attitude.

I thought you were going to say violence in this country.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm tired.

They come up back to L.A.

One guy, I want to name his name, I go, oh, you're pretty, you seem like you're thriving.

He goes, I'm killing it.

Killing it.

You know what I mean?

And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, dude.

You moved out because you couldn't survive here.

This is a different.

It's an animal.

It's an animal.

Well, I think the weirdos you're referring to, by the way, were birthed, and I defend this till I'm...

fucking blue in the face.

We're birthed at the comedy store.

Wow.

I think the biggest, the biggest mistake that's made whenever I go back east is, you know, the New York guys that I very close friends out there, they all, they, you know, they make fun of the store and blah, blah, blah, blah, for all the years.

And I'm always like, dude, you'll never find a bigger group of fucking lunatic all over the mappers.

When I started, when I moved here in 06, it was Wackadoo Central.

The late nights were fucking insane.

In fact, the front patio, you were like, is this illegal?

Whatever this is?

I know.

Do these people live here?

Yeah.

This is crazy.

And I think I always push, I was like, people don't know that about the store.

They think they hear this like corporate bro, bro.

And that that happens internally in LA a lot, too, where they're like, the store is a fucking, you know, whatever sellout factory of fucking bro comics.

Not anymore.

No, but there was a wash of it that came through.

And I think.

Yeah, Joe, they moved to Austin.

But I

know, I think, I think, I think even, I think even, even up to a few years, even when I was starting out, and the Largo guys or the Eastside guys, if I go to Eastside shows, they would make fun of me going back because I had a lot of good friends that were Eastside guys.

Yeah.

And we started.

But they

couldn't cut it at the store.

I know, but but they still would hate on me for going.

They'd go, they'd be like, why the fuck are you going there, Santino?

It's all fucking loot.

And I hate it because I was like, you don't get it.

But this is diverse and insane.

And weird.

But the bottom line is, you got to do the job.

You got to do the job.

Eastside job, you don't got to do the job.

Right.

You got a bunch of like-minded people that'll sort of watch you worm your way through a personal story that goes nowhere and find

love.

The whole issue, whatever alternative comedy was, it didn't deliver the goods because it ain't around anymore.

And that weird argument, it wasn't that alternative comics were open micers.

They were just trying to do something different.

But if you're brought up with the working ethic of like, you know, you open, you middle, you headline, and then you fucking do the job, that that wasn't the same sense of

purpose.

So when you do the store, and the reason why I've never stopped doing it, and I was always a club comic from the beginning, but I'm- Well, you're like Blade, though.

You live in both worlds.

That's right.

Well, I helped build the alternative world in New York.

But I'm just saying, there's some comics like you that do both.

Sure.

I wonder why.

I mean, there's you, I think Zach lives in both, Gafflenakas, Patton Oswald lives in both.

Yeah.

But some of them don't live in both.

Well, some of them don't live anywhere anymore.

I'm not sure what they're doing.

They're back on that couch, baby.

But the truth is, is that like, in my mind, it's like you got to be able to do the job for whoever.

Right.

So, like, the idea, and sometimes at the store, it's hard.

It's not always easy at the store.

No, there's tough times.

There's a lot of times where most of the room doesn't know who the fuck I am, but that's the job.

Right.

I mean, you know, I do have my people and I go do theaters and stuff.

Of course.

But you want to go put yourself through the, I still have that weird ethic.

It's like, cause a lot of people are like, why would you go to the store anymore?

I'm like, I don't know.

Because I got to do the job.

Yeah.

And it's a way to make, to know whether shit really works.

If you can make it work over there, it's going to work anywhere.

I think that's it.

I think everyone that got successful at the store, that became a store person or a store name,

they have that like unrelenting, I have to be a comedian i have to do it yeah like even though

when wives and girlfriends and friends are like what are you going to do you're going to the fucking now you're not that's why i don't have any of those things

yeah yeah yeah so you want transition to stick real time all right yeah well just

i can't i can even tell you what it is go ahead he's a very masterful golf player i know you do i do i know he's a good golfer he's also a great bowler he does he's good at everything yeah he's like he's got all those white guy sports down right right right he does right some of the black ones okay

no daddy no he's also i i don't know if you know this yeah great actor okay that's not that part's not you're no you think you're no you're i think we've talked about this yeah you're a great actor yeah yeah but okay anyway he should have gotten something on stick yeah but it has nothing to do with stick and i kept telling them you know where's andrew they kept saying no thanks no thanks no thanks

i was mad we saw the show stick it's a great show it's on apple uh of course our good friend mark marron is on it with you wouldn't have played my part though no no no no no no no you would have played owen's part part.

That was a tough sell.

Yeah.

I think it was attached early.

Yeah, it was either me or Owen, basically.

No.

There's no other part.

The joke is there's no other parts.

It's a young, it's Owen and a young child in him.

It's like a fucking...

How is it?

There's no one liner.

You could have easily done Timothy Oliphant's role.

Yeah, fuck you, Timothy.

And

you could have done

the kid's dad's role, too.

Who's that?

What's his name?

I forget the actor.

He's great, but I mean, I'm just thinking, like, you could have done those.

Thanks a lot.

Recommend.

I'm the only fucking comedian that.

Me and Nate Barghanasi are the only comedians that golf.

It's so funny.

I sent Nate a picture of me and I don't even, no, I don't even know the guy's name.

He's going to piss me the fuck off, I bet.

Yeah.

A guy that I like.

Well, I'm sure you like him.

The fact that I can't remember his name is not great, but hold on.

Let me see if I can find it.

Holy shit.

I didn't know that him and I talked about it.

So Happy Gilmore 2, you should have gotten a real golf part in that, too.

Yeah, why didn't you get a role in that?

Not going to say anything bad right now if Sando's listening.

Okay.

Thank you, Adam.

Thank you for everything.

Thank you for everything.

Thank you, Adam.

As if Adam would ever think about it.

No.

You know what's so funny?

He's got his finger on the pulse.

He's pretty, he's not listening to our show.

He's pretty good, though.

Adam knows.

He's so good.

Adam knows.

He's smart.

I'll be honest with you.

I thought that last special that Josh Safie directed was one of the best things I've ever seen.

Yeah, fact.

It was serious.

And nobody watched it.

And it was so weird.

And it was so clear that he had an agreement with Adam to be like, I'm going to do some shit during the show.

Yeah.

You're just going to react to it.

Well, the special before that got a lot of love because it was more.

Oh, that's Colin Morikawa.

Yeah, so

I sent that picture to Nate, and Nate says, This is my happiest day.

Oh, that's cool.

I never in a million years thought I would see this fixed.

You with Columborakawa is so funny.

And Kalamurakawa, of course, is

a human.

Asian.

Yeah, Asian.

He's like, you bud.

Damn it.

I got a Rakawa.

He's like you, big guy.

It's like if you got a photo with Thierry Henri or something, it would change your life.

It would piss me off.

Yeah.

God, I hope I do want to.

He's one of the greatest French soccer players of all time.

Yeah, I'm not a sports guy in any way.

I'm just saying, if you had.

I know that.

Well, golf's not a sport.

It's an activity.

But I mean, I'm athletic, but I don't do that.

Yeah, we get it.

Okay.

Okay.

He has been working out a lot more than usual.

I know.

Look at our legs.

I thought we were cutting down on the Zins, though.

We're not.

The no is.

No, we're not.

And we're not going to be able to do it.

Now I'm starting to see them all around my yard because I don't even spit them in directly.

I'm just like,

you know, you got a problem where you're like, is that a Zin?

Why did it under my pillow?

My buddy told me.

Why did it end your podcast?

Timeout.

Hold on.

Finishes the stick sink.

Yeah.

We're going to get there.

The interesting thing.

Am I a bad interviewer?

No.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

I'll be honest with you about the stick casting for me.

Yeah.

Is that like, okay, so I get offered that role of MIT's.

And it's the role of a caddy.

So I immediately said, like, I read some of the scripts.

I'm like, I don't know anything about golf.

And they were, and I was basically saying, no, I can't do it.

I don't want to do it.

And they're like, doesn't matter.

And I'm like, okay, but I have a podcast.

I can't do it.

And And they're like, no, we'll figure it out.

And I'm like, and I kept telling them I couldn't do it.

But ultimately, what became appealing

was a couple of things: that if I want to act, I should do it.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

The business is so anemic now.

If you get an offer and you say no, you're like, all right, well, then we're, then you shouldn't do anything.

Right.

Because this is it.

Yeah, it's one of them.

Yeah.

But the thing that was appealing to me was outside of the, I don't really need to play golf in it.

No.

But the, the, the friendship between two guys who are are

sad for very deep reasons and have stuck by each other for this long through thick and thin and through these emotional cycles, well, that was kind of compelling to me to be able to play that.

And I thought I could play that.

And the nature of a caddy is like fundamentally codependent.

I mean, you're there to service the dude.

So that dynamic with Owen, I thought was really interesting and could be kind of touching.

And that was really what drove me to it.

And I learned enough about golf to sell it, but it wasn't on me to carry the golf of that show.

Pun intended, carry as a cat.

Yeah, you didn't have to carry the golf of the show, but it didn't matter because honestly, like anything else, you got a straight offer, bro.

What's that?

Straight offer.

Can I finish the thing with him and I so we can have a good, you know what I mean?

A good rapport out of it

in the middle of the middle of the thing.

Am I a bad interviewer to the guys in the boots?

No, you're the best.

Anyway, it's a conversation, Bobby.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ask away.

Whatever.

No.

No, no.

Well, we were going to tie it up.

Tie it up.

Put a button in it.

You see a button in it.

Do you see how good he is at the thing?

On it.

Yeah.

Fuck it.

It's good.

It's good.

I think this whole comedy team thing works for you guys.

And it really does.

It does, yeah.

We're not like, we don't,

we're our own little ships, and nobody wants to be on these, on this boat, by the way.

Like when people say, like,

you know, those worlds have been kind of,

I don't want to say, like, corporatized or whatever, eaten alive by other bigger things.

And Bobby sometimes will say, How come nobody wants to buy our show?

Yeah.

And I'll say, Buddy, we don't, we're not really sellable.

We're not really like.

No, but you thank God because you just run your own ship and cash your own checks.

Whenever someone says, This is kind of funny, we don't ever have politics on the show.

We never do it because we just are like, that's not for us.

Yeah.

Go over there.

Yeah.

I don't like it on this show.

And we had a few offers of like people, politicians wanted to come on the show.

None of the big ones.

Yeah.

But anyway, I only did a sitting president.

Yeah.

I i know we we remember yeah but it was unfortunate because it was the what it was the the black one it was the black one yeah you said it not me i yeah you're the one take it away mark he was great no he was amazing it was one of the best

of all time no but i said i said we shouldn't have politicians on you know he obviously agreed he's like yeah i don't want that on here and then i also thought have they seen this show it's just not yeah but that's the thing they don't give a fuck yeah all they want is your audience that's right they don't give a fuck that's because politicians will talk right through you right they don't give a shit they're not they're gonna say what they want to say no matter what.

And they're going to, you know, they're, and you can say whatever you want, and they'll be like, yes, but I'm going to say this now.

Right.

I'm going to say what I want to say.

Yeah.

And also, why'd you quit your podcast?

That was Bobby's question.

I know, but Bobby, go ahead and ask it.

Well, because I texted you, didn't I?

And what did I say?

You said.

It was very nice.

Yeah.

He said, congratulations.

I said, thank you, Podfather.

Yeah.

Congratulations.

Yeah.

And good luck in the future.

Yeah.

Did I say anything?

No, you fucking did.

Of course, you didn't text me.

No, you were like, why?

Yeah, that's all right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll tell you why I was mystified by it.

Is that right the words?

Sure.

That works.

Yeah, I love when he tries.

God, you know what?

It did work, but I love it.

If it were the 40s, you guys would be the best team because you'd be like, what, Bobby?

All right.

Don't you think we're a good throwback?

That wasn't even an Asian thing.

No.

That was just a tone.

Sounded like Asian.

No, it was the same.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I've heard villagers say that.

We are like a good comedy duo from the old days.

Totally.

Of like the old stupid.

wackadoo.

You're the straight guy and he's the wacky guy.

Right.

Yeah.

Classic.

You're like Marty Allen.

Go ahead, wacky guy.

Hello there.

That's Marty Allen.

Hello there.

See, that was racist.

Do you see what he did?

Yeah, I see what this is now.

Yeah.

No, no, that's.

It's a team-up.

It's an old-school team-up.

It's a team-em-up.

Go ahead, Bobby.

Let's be serious.

So, let's be serious for a second.

Because you've had, I think, the best guests you can imagine.

Thank you.

I mean, you've had Leo, right?

Brad Pitt,

Barack Obama.

Yep.

In that order, by the way.

It goes Leo, Brad Pitt, Barack Obama.

One of the best moments of the podcast, we had Barack Obama on and then President Obama.

And then me and my producer did a sort of post-talk about what it was like to have the president on.

And people were like, who are you going to put on after that?

And we were like, I think Rich Voss.

Wow, wow, wow.

Rich Voss is very funny.

A little drop, though.

Best.

A little drop from the president of the United States?

Voss is so funny.

I've known him forever.

He's so funny.

He's so funny.

I knew him when I was starting out in Boston.

He used to come up from New York, and back then he had like this Jerry Curl Italian ponytail, little Italian horn necklace.

But he was always something.

But it was so funny.

I had a great interaction with him because, you know, he knows Norton.

And I'm friends with Norton.

I haven't talked to Norton in a while.

And I saw Voss at the comedy store.

And I'm like, how's Jimmy doing?

Is Jimmy doing all right?

How do you heard from him?

And he goes, Jimmy's great.

He's got a beautiful wife with a huge cop

all true all true yeah yeah yeah why'd you make the decision your hair looks good buddy please stop it does stop with this it does i'm not you know what guy oh boy oh boy you're misreading me again no i'm not misreading you you always think that i'm like you know condescending or i'm busting your balls i'm being oh it's because of the history we once had yeah but at one point you didn't like me no that's not true that was all in your head okay at one point he doesn't like everybody that's not true i'm just but then he learns to like you a little right i'm just guarded it's not not that you've never had a point where you didn't like him or you didn't like me i never didn't like you i didn't know you like i there we go that's you know that's how he does that's how he does that's how he does it yeah all right good i didn't know you either i just treated you like and here's the problem

i would argue that i didn't treat you like i may have come off as uh a lot of people think arrogant but it's not i'm just like i'm just guarded everybody thinks it may it be true you know me now i do yeah yeah.

I love it.

I'm a pretty softy guy.

Great, great guy.

Once you get the key to me.

But here's the problem, Mark.

Yes, that is to be true.

The problem is losers like us.

No, we fucking loved you through it because we were like, I still really like him and I really want him to like me, but I don't think he likes me.

And we did that and we all did that.

Although I was so, did I tell you about Oklahoma City?

No.

I'm shooting the Green Day movie in Oklahoma City.

Yeah.

I'm at the hotel.

I have the day off.

And I'm coming out of my hotel room.

And from afar I see the back of his head

but I thought there's no way that's not married.

He turns around and it was the most exciting.

I kind of

speedran towards you.

It was unbelievable.

Yeah, yeah.

He was doing a show there.

I was stuck in a hotel.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was a great meeting.

It was great.

But he had the other times when he didn't look at you in the hallway.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You remember those days?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, I think that you didn't like my style of comedy.

I'm very needy on stage.

I use little tricks.

I do.

I gotta say,

who isn't needy on stage?

Yeah, I use tricks on stage that you wouldn't, you know what I mean, do.

Let's be honest.

What are some of the tricks?

What?

Just like, you know.

What's not a Mark Maron trick that you do?

Like, kiss people on the lips.

You do.

Different things like, you know,

show the belly.

Show the belly.

Little tricks that you.

But I want you to know that once you guys, anybody, any comic, once you figure out the trick of me and you figure out how to bust my balls, it's over.

Yeah, it is.

I don't believe that.

I believe you softened.

No, no, no.

No, yes, yes, yes.

No, he's saying there's a look, dude.

He's saying he softened.

He's saying there's a fucking code, and you got to get to the code.

And once you get the, you know what it is in video game?

Like, once you found out where that extra thing was in Mario, and you were like, I know how to get that fucking thing.

Oh, right, right, right.

But it looked threatening and hard, but then you're like,

you jump on the mushroom, you get to the thing, then you get to the bottom.

Then you get it.

You got to think.

That's what it really is.

That's Mark's thing.

Doesn't that make sense?

Yeah, it does.

And you got to get there.

But also, when I knew you, right, it was like, I knew you when WTF was new.

Yeah.

Even before when you were married to Misha, right?

Weird.

What do you think I do?

Maybe it was a secret.

I'm through it.

You're through it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's through it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, which you know, I have feelings about.

But yeah, but I knew when you weren't as successful.

Yeah.

And you know, the reason why you started WTF is because you were in a good place.

Bad place.

Very bad place.

Yeah.

And you were a little angry and sad.

Yeah.

Right.

And so I think that once you got through

the divorce,

right?

And

then, you know, WTF started taking off.

Then you were getting TV spots and you were all the things that you deserved you got.

Yeah.

Okay.

And then you softened.

Well, I softened with age and I softened with a lot of stuff.

But yeah, but I but also the primary intention of WTF at the beginning was to sort of settle these scores of people that either I did have problems with or people had problems with me.

And most of the time when I thought I had caused some trouble for somebody or they didn't like me, they didn't even know what I was talking about.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, I'd bring up these events and be like, oh, yeah, okay, I guess.

And it was like I had decided somehow that I was an outsider of the community.

You're not.

And no, I'm not.

But, but I'm crazy.

Okay.

So that's true.

You're you're a leader well yeah you are you're a leader in the community you're one of the forefathers but you're also crazy you're crazy just lines up yeah yeah

all right so say it's paranoid so say it what

what what why why did i stop just why why are you done why oh oh

well the truth is like we've been doing it 16 years and you know when we set out to do it it was not there was no money to be made it was really just an act of trying to create something you know honest and interesting and it evolved over time.

And my producer and I were audio guys, and he's a very specific type of producer.

He spends a lot of time with these interviews.

He crafts them.

And over time, it developed a very personal style.

And it was sort of a sort of the arc of my life and my engagement with these people.

But it was ultimately a lot about me.

And the thing about

the show is that we've worked very hard at it.

We never wanted to do video.

It was never part of our thing.

We're not content generators.

We're not, we don't put things into the world to make money, really.

And the fact was, is three years ago, we got that deal with the platform, and it was something we deserved.

And it was not a huge deal, but it was a good one.

It was a good one.

And, you know, we got in under the wire on that.

And right before we took the platform deal, we were like, you know, we don't have to keep doing this.

We've done an amazing thing.

We've helped sort of create a foundation for this medium.

We've created a style of doing it that a lot of people copped.

And, you know, we're still operating at

the quality has never shifted.

The audience has never gone away.

But it really becomes a question of like, how long do we need to do this?

And the arc of the deal with the platform is three years and it's coming up on that.

And we made our money in a way, but it's, it's,

it, it becomes the, the, I think the landscape's different.

You know, we do what we do and people still do it, come to it.

Audio is a great thing.

But after a certain point, it's like we've interviewed everybody.

And my producers, like, we're a little exhausted.

It's consumed our entire lives.

And we just thought, like, in terms of our legacy, why not just let it be done?

You know, why, why do you want to end up like down the line having people going like, oh, Marin's still doing it?

Who the fuck needs that?

Yeah.

God, that's wild.

That's wild.

By the way, he gets regarded as an interviewer in public.

And you and I are at the airport, and people go, Bobby's mom.

That's what we hear.

Yeah.

You know what?

I also get the reason why I'm doing a special is because

podcasters come see my show, and then afterwards, they go, Wow, we didn't think you could do stand-up.

I know, it's never knew you did it.

Yeah, never even knew I did it.

And that's the most important thing in our life.

Yes.

When's yours coming out?

I shoot it in January.

Is it gonna?

How long is it gonna be?

You know a headline on the road, Mark.

How many openers you put?

Two or three?

No, no, no.

Yeah, I do.

Three or four.

Yeah.

You have to understand something.

I think you're fucking hilarious.

Okay.

And you don't believe me.

You're doing a special.

Oh, he doesn't want the attention on him.

I don't want the attention on him.

You're doing a special.

I shot a special in New York.

Yes.

And I think it's one of the best I've done.

Where is it at?

I shot it at the Bam Harvey.

It's like

in Brooklyn.

Okay.

I was going to to do it at Town Hall again, but

I don't love that space.

And I said, isn't it like an 800, 900 seater anywhere in New York?

You only did one show?

No, I did two shows.

But the theater is like this old theater from the early 1900s, and they've maintained it, but they didn't restore it.

So it almost has sort of a half a ruin feeling.

And they had this back wall that looked like a fucking piece of modern art.

And I'm like, that wall is the whole thing.

We got to make that part of it.

And the production design on it, it's fucking genius.

Wow.

The guy, like, the production design guy, he's, he saw the space and he wanted to integrate it.

And I'm, I'm, of the mind that you can't really make those things look that much different than anything else.

No, leave them alone.

But this guy was genius.

He goes, I'm thinking ketsuki.

And I'm like, I don't even know what the fuck that is.

So I Google it.

And it's this ancient Japanese art of restoring ceramics with gold to in the cracks.

It's all and he, and I'm like, all right, well, that sounds good.

You just do that.

So he just created this vibe that was amazing.

I did a full fucking 73 minutes.

I had it in my mind.

73.

Well, they wanted an hour.

And like, I believe this is what we work for.

And that's why I love HBO is because

they curate shit.

They're still producing good shit.

Yeah.

And I, and they are, they're like, you're going to do an hour.

And I'm like, yeah, I'm going to do an hour.

But then I was like, I think it should be 73.

Because my last special was 73.

So I got it in my head that that's what I could do.

73.

And they were like, all right, fine, do it.

And it's so fucked up.

And I guess guess it's just a testament to how long I've been doing this.

Like, I had like an hour and 45 for the tour.

And I knew a few weeks going into it that I had to get it down.

And I just got the redundancies out.

I found the callbacks.

But I swear to God, both shows that I did that night, 73 minutes, like on the fucking die.

Wow.

No, no cognizant of the time.

You were just rolling.

No.

Wow.

And I look at the clock and I'm closing at 73.

I'm like, I know how to do this.

73 is phenomenal.

It's good, though.

And I just want to tell you.

It's going to be on the HBO.

HBO, it premiered August 1st.

August 1st.

August 1st.

Go check it out.

Yeah.

What's it called?

Panicked.

Literally perfect.

It's perfect.

And by the way, for the record, go see, watch Panicked right now on HBO.

A great name is hard to find.

We're trying to find his name for his special.

Yeah, but we'll figure it out later.

No, give him, come on, give you call it Babby.

Yeah, that's good.

With a lot of ease.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Baby.

It was going to be called Trauma Llama.

Yeah.

That's pretty good.

Trauma Llama is really good.

AI generated that, unfortunately.

We asked what AI thought it would be.

What's in the running, though, really?

I have no idea.

Well, no, we

had a few.

The Slept King, he likes Trauma Llama.

Chink in the Armor.

Tiger Daddy.

I think that one's very funny.

I do think that one's very funny.

AI came up with all these.

Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, watch Mark.

What was the other one?

Tiger Daddy.

Tiger Daddy.

Oh, that's pretty good.

Yeah, yeah.

I think you should capitalize on the name of these shows.

Yeah, you should.

Yeah.

Well, my nickname on Tiger, but my other podcast is The Slept King.

Right.

Yeah.

The What King?

The Slept King.

What is that?

Slept?

Yeah, because I'm not woke.

I'm the opposite.

It's too complicated.

See what I'm going to get.

It's hard to find.

Yeah.

It's hard to get it.

Panicked.

Panicked on HBO.

I see it.

I get it.

Okay.

And I'm sure you name that yourself.

I did.

We had a few things in the running, but I kind of stuck with that one.

I'm like, let's just do this.

What was the other one?

Yeah.

What was the other one?

You don't have to clear it with HBO, right?

They don't care.

I do got to.

Oh, you do?

Yeah.

And I, yeah, you definitely got to clear it with HBO.

But we were going with one that I thought was too long, and now I can't even remember.

Equanimity in the bird theory or whatever.

Exactly.

Yeah, no, I just was, but it's really hard to find those one-word ones, and you kind of feel like you need to.

So many of them have done already.

Right.

Or it's, or it's, or it's, it's two words, but it's quick.

It's got to be pop-up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's got to be fast.

Yeah.

I can't remember the fucking other names.

It's so crazy.

But when I got panicked, I'm like, this is it.

Panicked is perfect.

Thank you.

Panicked is perfect.

Go see Panicked on HBO.

All right, thanks.

For those of our fans, that's very nice to see you.

We love you.

We always say thank you for being a bad friend to the audience, and I want you to do it because it'll be a nice sign-off for us.

Thank you for being a bad friend.

And

that's it.

No, don't cut him off.

That's it.

Fuck.

You'll do more.

And I'll be honest with you, these two guys are good friends

of mine.

And if I was in a pinch, I know I could call either these.

Yeah, yeah.

Thank you.

We love you.