Bobby Is Finally Free w/ Yannis Pappas

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Speaker 2 Have you played Comedy Works South? I've never done the South Club. Have you played downtown? Yeah.
Why? What? Why?

Speaker 2 Why?

Speaker 2 Why has he? Why have you? Why have I? Have you? I haven't. Why?

Speaker 2 I don't know. You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 2 We're bad friends. So freaky Greeky.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Ladies and gentlemen, freaky Greeky. Freaky Greeky is Giannis Poppas is here with us.
Give it up for Giannis Papas. Where one ISOC lives in the other ISOC.
That's niceeroos. It is.

Speaker 2 I am a one-eyed Greek, and I am Giannis Pupas, according to your duck.

Speaker 2 That's right. Now I'm back in kindergarten.
Thank you for that. Giannis.
Who wrote that? That's very triggering for me. McCone? McCone.
That was a really good play on words. Yeah.
Well,

Speaker 2 before we get to Giannis,

Speaker 2 I brought a couple of gifts back from my trips overseas. So I was wandering the streets, streets, Bobby Lee.
Oh, my God. And I saw a store.
I stumbled on a store. Let me guess.
What is it?

Speaker 2 It's an old, ancient, antique Chinese store. It's in the basement.
You got me a Mogwai. I'm so excited.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 I've always wanted a Mogwai.

Speaker 2 From France? I stumbled across a store that doesn't exist, a store that no longer is in

Speaker 2 rotation. Okay.

Speaker 2 Tower records. And I walked in and I said, someone's going to be.
Can we guess? Can we guess? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Boston Market. Good guess.
Things that are closing.

Speaker 2 VHS tape. Joann's.
What's that? The fabric store? No, that's still open. I was there this morning.
I've been praying for that to close for so many years. Well, God's not listening.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm all Michaels, guys.

Speaker 2 A bed, bath, and beyond candle. Pretty close.
Yeah. Okay.
It's a store that someone on this crew loves very, very much.

Speaker 2 Oh, shit. Here we go.

Speaker 2 That it is.

Speaker 2 There was one Dézijual

Speaker 2 store

Speaker 2 still remaining in Europe. That's insane.
I went in there because Fancy, our buddy Fancy, loves Desijual clothes. Yeah.
And I walked in and I said, Desijual.

Speaker 2 I said, my fancy. Bessie Wal.

Speaker 2 Huh? Bessie Wool. I'll say it how I want to say it, bitch.

Speaker 2 And then I said, you're going to love this part. I said,

Speaker 2 is it all women's? And the girl goes, oh, yeah. I go, no men's clothes? She goes, we do.
And there was a rack in the back with four shirts.

Speaker 2 Rack in the back, a rack in the back, which is the name of your new life is rack in the back.

Speaker 2 So I got you a desigual shirt. And she said, what size is he? I said, well, I should call you because you know the porg size better than anybody.
Yeah, yeah. Well, I like to watch a lot of Star Wars.

Speaker 2 Yes. It's triple XL.

Speaker 2 Yes. I got you a medium.
Are you a medium?

Speaker 2 So come get your gift, you stupid loser. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I got you a desigual all shirt in fact i think you should take your shirt off now and put this shirt on now and here's the best part this is your poor body here's the best part about it why okay he's probably wearing it right now they make i'm not kidding when i say this they make

Speaker 2 maybe four blue shirts that's all they make take it out of the packaging and let me see it it's literally looks like the shirt you're wearing now i said to the woman i bet you he owns this shirt

Speaker 2 do you own it It looks like it. Yeah, yeah.
They all look the same.

Speaker 2 Can I ask you a question?

Speaker 2 what what what is it up there you go yeah what is it about these shirts that you do like the design that is an ugly shirt

Speaker 2 obvious yeah yeah

Speaker 2 so so you're welcome you're welcome thank you so much and did i get something for bobby

Speaker 2 Well, I've gotten you two wands. Did I get you something?

Speaker 2 Yeah, at the Renaissance Fair, I picked you out two wands. I know, I hold it dear to my heart.
Yeah, there you go. And did I get you something? I'm sure you did.
I did. I know you did.

Speaker 2 Do you know what I got you?

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 It's something Asian-oriented. It has to be.
No, it's actually the coolest gift I think I've gotten you. Oh, my God.
And I hope you don't have it. It's going to make my heart flutter.

Speaker 2 Oh, size nine?

Speaker 2 This is the only bummer.

Speaker 2 The highest they had left was eight and a half, but I feel like you could squeeze in. I can squeeze in an eight and a half.
All right, can I open it and show you what it is? Yeah, but now you do.

Speaker 2 Can I say, say something though? You know what it is? Because if you have them,

Speaker 2 I don't have them, but. You know what they are.
they're shoes. But what are they

Speaker 2 shoes? Are they shoes? No, they're sandals. Okay, they're ninja turtle sandals.
Okay, but can I be completely honest with you if I like them or not? Yes,

Speaker 2 because I'm you know, I'm brutal when it comes to that. I know, and honest.
But can you tell by the box what you what they are?

Speaker 2 They're Adidas shoes. Thank you.
Okay, but do you know what they are? They're probably slips, like sandals, or slides, slides, yeah. No, okay.

Speaker 2 oh

Speaker 2 hello do you know what they are no

Speaker 2 go ahead hello

Speaker 2 they are one-of-a-kind custom arsenal adidas

Speaker 2 how sick are those shoes sick shoes you like them don't you I do love them I knew you would yeah do they have the they have the the the arsenal symbol on the side on the back on the back on the back oh my god that's you know what that's being mindful that's thoughtful that's being thoughtful that's thoughtful and that's being a friend That is a friend.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Unlike you, when you came to town and you booked a whiskey ginger and a bad friend's, but not a tiger belly. That's right.
So unlike that. That's right.
This is the opposite of what you do.

Speaker 2 That's right. It's called a tariff.

Speaker 2 Oh, right.

Speaker 2 I did tariff you 40%. Yeah, yeah.
Okay, so I will lower the tariff. I'm doing only American.

Speaker 2 Okay, sure. But if I lower the tariff, will you do mind eventually? You lower the tariff.
All right,

Speaker 2 tariff warrant. 10%, 10%.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So give me a rating on the shoes. You like them.

Speaker 2 Do they meet your standards? These meet my standards in different ways. Okay.
Wow.

Speaker 2 Wow. And

Speaker 2 it's sexual. You know what I mean? So that's number one.

Speaker 2 I'm more attracted to you by this gift. Thank you.
Right. Number two,

Speaker 2 I have some downsides to it, too. Go ahead.
Okay, but let's go to the positive. Do you own those shoes already? No, I don't.
Awesome. I don't own any Arsenal FC shoes.
You do now.

Speaker 2 I have pants, I have shirts, scarves, et cetera, et cetera. And this is slick.

Speaker 2 What's so funny?

Speaker 2 It's slick. It's aerodynamic.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Clean. Clean.
Yeah, very clean. Clean.

Speaker 2 I would be too afraid to wear them. Why? Whoa.
Because they're so nice. Well, they're one of a kind.
They're made for running.

Speaker 2 This guy's taking shots at you.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 Thank you so much, Love my friend.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. No, thank you.
Thank you for being here. Thank you.
Does the display, is that, are you really in awe of them, or is that like an excuse that you don't like them?

Speaker 2 And is that why you're not going to wear them?

Speaker 2 I'm just trying to figure out why you wouldn't wear them. No, you're trying to drum up some shit.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 You're trying to drum up some shit. And since this shit is drummed up, may I waddle in it? Go ahead.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I think stylishly, it's not my style. Whoa, I knew it.

Speaker 2 I knew it. Yeah, yeah.
You didn't like him. No, I do like him.
What a piece of shit. No, no, no.
I do like him. You used a passport to get those.
But here's the thing.

Speaker 2 You could go to arsenal.com and buy the same shoes and get delivered as well. He was with his family and he thought about it.
And he'd probably get a nine as well.

Speaker 2 He got the wrong AI. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Those are very nice. Yeah, they are.
Can I see the other styles, please? They're in blue. Wait a second.
You only spent $79 on them? $80.

Speaker 2 The red ones are cool.

Speaker 2 Those red ones. Wow.
Yeah. They're way more expensive.
Yeah. I think $600.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's more my thing.

Speaker 2 That's more my thing. But

Speaker 2 I don't do $80 on my feet. Right.
Yeah. I get it.
You picked up on that, right? The whole display thing was a whole thing. I knew.
Yeah. Yeah.
He was fucking trying to. No, but it's the sentiment and

Speaker 2 the thought that counts. Thank you.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I will get you something similar.

Speaker 2 Thank you. You're welcome.
Thank you. Like a Tiger Woods.
You know what I I mean? Are you upset? I'd be upset. I'd be like

Speaker 2 turned off. Do they have gloves? I've that's a fucking dick move.
I've lived in this space for quite a while.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, I'll tell you why, guy,

Speaker 2 freaky greaky. It's because we have an honest relationship.
That's right. You know, and we're not about lies.
And we tell each other how we feel. How we feel.
And I appreciate that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm going to display them accordingly in my closet

Speaker 2 underneath all the other shoes that I have. That's right.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And in 20 years' time, I'll dig them back up and go, oh, these are in style now. Right.

Speaker 2 Right. Right.
Now I'll put them on. I'll be 70.

Speaker 2 75. I do think you'll wear them.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 My bunny's on, you'll wear them. I'll wear them in Ireland when we do the golf thing.
You mean in London? No, when we go to Ireland, we're going to a golf thing afterwards. That's right.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'll wear them at the golf thing. But this would make more sense in London.
That's true. No one's going to go, hey, Blauk, are those Asnoshes? Wait, who is that? What was that?

Speaker 2 That's a Greek accent?

Speaker 2 Hello, Blauk. Oh, that's better.
Yeah. Are those Ausnoshes?

Speaker 2 That's good. Yeah,

Speaker 2 no one's going to go say that. Right.
Yeah, yeah. You're right.
Anyway,

Speaker 2 your legs are exposed. Generally, I don't like it, but today I really appreciate your legs because they're very unlike the rest of your body.
They're very tan and they're very beautiful. And athletic.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they are athletic. They are really good legs.
Yeah. Yeah.
He's always had nice tan legs. I know, dude.
That says a lot about a guy. Yeah.
And you're wide.

Speaker 2 Like in a muscular. You're fat again.
No. How much do you weigh now? I'm back to 205.
I was down to 193.

Speaker 2 I'm back to 205. You look great.
Thank you, man. Love it.
You always look great. You look the same, dude.
It's true what they say. You just don't age.
Interesting. Yeah, you look the same.

Speaker 2 I lost 30 pounds.

Speaker 2 Ozempic.

Speaker 2 Wigovi. I thought we were honest in here.
So

Speaker 2 you didn't notice that I lost 30 pounds. Wow.
No.

Speaker 2 I haven't got a chance to see you stand up because you were outside squatting and now.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you have. You look great.
Yeah. You look great.

Speaker 2 Let me say something to you, okay?

Speaker 2 Let me say something to you.

Speaker 2 Be real and be honest. We don't fuck around like this.

Speaker 2 Let me say something right now, Wiggie, okay? Be honest. I'm not going to get offended.
You did not notice that I lost weight. I would take a picture of you.

Speaker 2 Put it in my closet under all the other pictures of people who were underwhelming, forget about it for 20 years, and then then take it out when

Speaker 2 slightly chubby Asian guys are back in style. Okay.

Speaker 2 I thought we're in the honest trade. Okay, so you really believe that? I believe you look better.
Okay. You look better.
Okay. Yeah.
Wait until I get back from Hawaii. Just you wait.

Speaker 2 I'm going to get a tan. What was the phrase he used in Australia all the time? You'll see.
You'll see. You'll see.
You'll see. Okay.
Yeah. And you shall see.

Speaker 2 And you will reap. How long has it been now since the you'll see, I'm going to get jacked thing? November.
November. So you've got some time still.
Exactly. But time is is a ticking.
I know, but.

Speaker 2 And you know what's got to happen. Whoa.

Speaker 2 You look like you gave birth and then it

Speaker 2 my wife's belly.

Speaker 2 You know, it was like a little loose.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. It was just moving a lot.
I didn't expect it to move. But

Speaker 2 I'm no better. I'm no better.
So here we go. It moves.
It moves. Yours moves more.
Mine does move more. Yeah.
It's a deeper ocean. But mine looks like I'm consistently fat.

Speaker 2 Yours looks like you're supposed to be fat

Speaker 2 dude you're making me smat so much

Speaker 2 you're really triggering he needs to get the loose skin surgery to like remove that yeah tightening you have you have access skin

Speaker 2 it just it looked a little loose yeah yeah

Speaker 2 okay okay like that yeah it's a little bit yeah yeah yeah she's got abs no you look great you know i'm joking

Speaker 2 i don't think you believe that no i do believe yeah i do believe it you believe yeah next time you see me dude ronnie changed you won't even know the difference You're going to get ripped like that?

Speaker 2 He's ripped? Well, he's in shape. He is in shape.
He's in shape, dude. You'll see.

Speaker 2 We shall see.

Speaker 2 That's been the motto of my life. Back in the day, dude, they were like, you're never going to make it as a comedian.
You'll see. Okay.
The comedian I could get because you're funny, but

Speaker 2 getting ripped, I mean, it's like.

Speaker 2 Fuck, you're making me so bad.

Speaker 2 I went to the Planet Fitness a month ago and you don't know. I went to the planet.
I walked in, right?

Speaker 2 And I go, hey, and they go, you got to go online and you got to to give us your bank records to join. And I'm like, I have a credit card.
We don't do it that way.

Speaker 2 So that's why I didn't join Planet Fitness.

Speaker 2 That's why. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I went in there.

Speaker 2 Right. I don't know.
I just, I've seen you now. We've been here 20 minutes and all you've been doing is sucking on an electronic cigarette.
So it doesn't look like you're making much of an effort.

Speaker 2 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I will see. Duly noted.
Duly noted. And Touche.
Touche.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 You're the first guy? I come to you, dude. Wow.
Right. When I get my revenge.
I'd like to see it. Who's the second guy?

Speaker 2 Ooh, McCone. Yeah, he's never on my side.
He was a doubter.

Speaker 2 Let me see your new cigarette. Show off your new cigarette machine.
Oh, I saw, I saw. The kid's got a new cigarette machine on his person now.
This is from Canada. So I got this.
Now you smoke.

Speaker 2 Now you can smoke without the smoke. Yes.

Speaker 2 And then you open this little module

Speaker 2 like that. And then

Speaker 2 you stick it. It heats the cigarette.
It doesn't, you know, there's no smoke, like actual

Speaker 2 fire. No fire.
No fire. Just

Speaker 2 heat. Just heat.
Heat induction.

Speaker 2 Let me say something to you guys. I had the worst week of my life last week.

Speaker 2 Number one,

Speaker 2 Monday, I wake up. I have a little sore throat.

Speaker 2 Then at night, Monday night, I fly to Toronto, Canada.

Speaker 2 And now I'm fully sick. Oh, thanks for coming.
No, that was last week. That was last week.
Okay. Okay.
I had the shivers. All right.

Speaker 2 And then I land, I go to a wardrobe for this film, a very good film. It's called Karate Ghost.

Speaker 2 Let me guess. You play the ghost? No.

Speaker 2 No, I don't. I play Asensei.
Wax One.

Speaker 2 Wax Olf.

Speaker 2 Paint the defense.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. karate ghost yeah is it based on a book a novel

Speaker 2 yes yeah yes yes new york times bestseller so that's not it so you're playing karate ghost no i'm not i play a sense

Speaker 2 okay and jim belushi plays the mayor of a town oh wow yeah and i did it because jim was in it right because we're old not old friends but we're friends okay

Speaker 2 but i black out in my hotel i had a day off i didn't leave i just was and then i literally the next couple of days i don't even remember shooting You were that?

Speaker 2 I was in every, you know, because they're like, you know,

Speaker 2 we're going to put all your scenes in two days,

Speaker 2 right? So you're, you know, five o'clock call, you rap at nine, right? And you're in every fucking scene. I don't fucking remember it.

Speaker 2 And then from there, I go to the Comedy Works in Denver, and they booked me in the wrong club.

Speaker 2 You were downtown? You were not down. You're in the South one? Yes.
Have you played Comedy Works South? I've never done the South Club. Have you planned downtown? Yeah.
Why? What? Why?

Speaker 2 It's my favorite, one of my favorite clubs. Why?

Speaker 2 Why has he? Why have you? Why have I? Have you? I haven't. Why?

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 You're not good?

Speaker 2 What's that? That's you on the set of Karate Ghosts. Sick.
Yeah. Look how sick I am.
Do I look fucking Yoda there? What the fuck?

Speaker 2 Don't I look Yoda? And you don't remember any of this? I don't remember any of this. Is that Jim in front of you? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Right. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm going like...

Speaker 2 Now, does he own the dojo? What does he do in this movie? He's the mayor of the town. Right.
Right. He's the mayor of Karate Ghost Town.

Speaker 2 Dude, at least you're getting work. Not only that, who plays the ghost? Some kid.
What the fuck, dude? So you got sick. And then I'm in this, which is a great club, Comedy Workshop 2.

Speaker 2 It's just not the same. Never done it, yeah.
And then my feature,

Speaker 2 Ramsey. Badowie.
Badowie. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He rips so hard. I've never seen him rip, right? And I'm deathly ill, right? And I'm watching him in the green room rip.

Speaker 2 Literally for the first time, I'm going, how am I going to do this? Like, it was the first time where I was mad. Yeah.
You mean that this guy is good.

Speaker 2 You wanted him to be bad? I wanted him to be, you know what I mean? Like, sometimes I'll go, no crowd work.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? You try to chain him. Yeah.
Right? You need no crowd work. Take it easy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're bombing, just keep bombing.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Settle into the bombing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Remember, they're not here to see you. Exactly, exactly.

Speaker 2 But this weekend is one of those weekends where I know where people went up to Ramsey and goes, you're better than the headliner. No.
Yeah, for sure. No, no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2 Dude, you were better than Bobby. What the fuck? You know what I mean? And I knew that in my mind.
And then the fourth show, oh my God, I struggled. I was drowning.
In sweat?

Speaker 2 In, no, P, what the fuck are you talking about? Well, you said you were sick. I thought you were sick.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I was drowning in sweat.

Speaker 2 Oh, like you know how it just splits open, you're just drenched, right? And then you're losing the room. But how's the new hour coming along? Not great.

Speaker 2 Not great at all. I'm trying to do an extension, man.

Speaker 2 Wait, what do you mean? I want to do it later.

Speaker 2 Bobby. Yeah, yeah.
It's been 30 years.

Speaker 2 I know. You've extended.
I need another. You've overextended.
I think I did. Is this your first special? Yes.
Yeah. Wow.
Yeah. Yeah.
Exactly. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
You just haven't put one out. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. No, he's taped 10 of them.
He's just never released them. Yeah, Yeah, never released them.
Yeah, they're sitting in a vault. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's the same hour over and over again, but I did tape it 10 times. Momento.
But anyway, and now I'm here, and wow, what a week. So it was bad.
Yeah, but you know what? It's

Speaker 2 doesn't sound that bad. You had a little sniffles.
Yeah, little sniffles, and then you had a dead. But you have to understand every moment I'm like, how am I going to do this? I can't fucking.

Speaker 2 This is, I don't want to do this. Right.
You know what I mean? I stand up.

Speaker 2 You can't barely talk. What? Tell the people in Gaza how bad your week was.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 You had a cold.

Speaker 2 You know, Afghanistan and India are still at war. You couldn't remember some of the movie you were booked in?

Speaker 2 Awful week. Tough week? Yeah, it was a tough week.
Some guy listening to the podcast.

Speaker 2 He's on his way to work a fucking triple. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Some guy's sitting in a fucking truck right now, driving for nine hours, but Bobby couldn't remember half the scene with Jim Belushi. Tough.
Tough, tough tough tough god willing

Speaker 2 you've gotten

Speaker 2 this second wave of success in your life has really started to go to your head

Speaker 2 am i wrong am i right am i wrong am i right this second week wave of success has gone to your head no i haven't for the first time in my life in our friendship you didn't return my call four times that's right i was sick no you weren't yes i was dude no you weren't yeah i can tell you when you did No, you weren't.

Speaker 2 I got a new phone, by the way. You were hanging out.
I was happy about it. You were hanging out.
What is that, an Android? No, it's an iPhone, but I've had I didn't change it for 10 years.

Speaker 2 Anyway, no, it hasn't. And can I just say another spiritual thing that happened the other day? It's onto your head.
Yesterday. Something happened yesterday that made me cry.

Speaker 2 And I'm afraid that I'm going to, if I share it, it's going to come out cheesy. Come on.
It was a.

Speaker 2 It made me feel. I just, the weight lifted from my shoulders, and I became somebody else.

Speaker 2 And I'm going to share it. And I know that, because I've never said this out loud.
And when I say it, I'm going to get fucking annihilated

Speaker 2 from all sides. No, no, no.
All right. So just hear me out, if I may.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I need gas in my motor vehicle, my Hyundai.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 It's blinking. The gas light.
Yes, it's blinking. Has been blinking.

Speaker 2 And go get gas. I go to shell.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I pump. I go, you know what? I deserve a little, not just a sugar-free Red Bull, but one of those springtime flavors.
You know what I mean? Like passion mango or whatever. You do.
I did, do.

Speaker 2 I did, do. You did, do.
I did, do. Good.
Okay.

Speaker 2 So I go in there, and there's like an Eastern European girl, maybe 23, 24. She's got some tattoos.
She looked miserable. Right.
Right. And she barely spoke English.
Right.

Speaker 2 And I go, hey, can I get this springtime, you know what I mean? Sugar-free Red Bull, please. You know what I mean? And she's kind of, you know, frowning.
She's Eastern European. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 That's how they look.

Speaker 2 That's how they look. And then she looks up at me and she does a little smirk.
And she goes,

Speaker 2 What do you do for a living? And I go,

Speaker 2 I just podcast the stuff.

Speaker 2 She goes, I don't know what that is. Is that radio? No, it's just online.
And then

Speaker 2 the smirk goes away and she just starts ringing me up. And about 10 seconds later, I go, why do you ask?

Speaker 2 And she says,

Speaker 2 you look free.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 And a tear went down my fucking face. But this Red Bull is not.
So 1342.

Speaker 2 I knew it. Very good.
No, come on. Very fast.

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Speaker 2 You look free. Yeah.
And why do you think that is? Well, I looked a little disheveled, but I was kind of singing coming in.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? You know, we've kind of made it to the shell, right?

Speaker 2 Got the gas. I'm ready to go.
And I go in there, you know what I mean? I'm looking at the, you know, bobbing my head. You know how I do.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, and I, you know, kind of do this in the front, right? Hand of the thing, right? But I also look like, you know, tattered shirt. You know what I mean? Kind of like free.
Free. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Very free. My hair was in this shambles.

Speaker 2 Right. And I had, you know, a happy disposition about myself.
I know. I want to be you when I grow up.
Yeah, yeah. And

Speaker 2 it just, it reminded

Speaker 2 it sort of reminded me of like, you know, yeah, I mean, we are so lucky. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Okay, come on. Let's go.
No, it's a moment. No, bring out your guns.
Come on. Everybody, come on.

Speaker 2 You didn't. I'm against the wall.
I'm against the wall. Go ahead.
You didn't notice that chains

Speaker 2 trying to give you a hint to help her.

Speaker 2 She's going, you look free. Wink, wink.

Speaker 2 Gaddy, out of here.

Speaker 2 There's a guy right behind her with a gun.

Speaker 2 Oh. But you're so self-absorbed.

Speaker 2 You didn't notice that she was a cry for help. You were just like, thank you, thank you.
I am free. I am free.

Speaker 2 But really, she was fucking winking like this, but you just couldn't tell because you were so wrapped up in your own shit. She was being trafficked.
Yeah, she's a trafficked Eastern European girl.

Speaker 2 Human trafficking is a serious issue in Eastern Europe with varying levels of prevalence here in the United States.

Speaker 2 You could have saved her. Oh, yeah, they captured her and they went, oh, you're going to work at the shell? That's what they do.
No, they don't. None of the shell.
That's what. Oh, no, that's right.

Speaker 2 It's at Exxon. It's the other one.

Speaker 2 I'm telling you, dude, you are free, and you always have been. You don't have the burdens of responsibility.
And I'm grateful for what I have. And the comment you made earlier is wrong.

Speaker 2 What was the comment? That this next level of success that I have, I'm, come on. It's gone to your head.
It hasn't gone to my head.

Speaker 2 Dude, when you were talking before, I thought I was listening to Mariah Carey.

Speaker 2 Okay, Miss Carey. We'll bring you a

Speaker 2 Tai Latte or whatever. I mean, you were complaining about first world problems.
That's what he does. Okay, so let's ship, because you're our guest.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And the last 10 minutes is about my bullshit and my week and whatnot. And I'm sorry for sharing that information.
No, I don't know.

Speaker 2 It's a personal human experience that I had that I should have kept to myself. No, I'm glad you shared it.
All right. So, you know, what's you up to, Yannis? Think about it.

Speaker 2 The exciting stuff that's going on in your life. I got a special out that's on YouTube right now.

Speaker 2 Thank you very much. It's called Property Owner History Ienas is back together.

Speaker 2 Yay!

Speaker 2 That's big. Yeah, yeah.
Me and my wife are still together. That's great.
Nobody cares. Yeah.
That part, nobody cares. EMDR? EMDR? Yes, because of the trauma.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 My daughters are good. Life is good.
Life is good. He feels free.
Yeah. Are you free? I'm free.
Yeah, yeah. How about it? Do you feel free? No.

Speaker 2 Tell me the chains. Talk about the chains.

Speaker 2 Go ahead.

Speaker 2 And if I'm a chain dude, fuck off. No, you're a bit in the chain.
Link in the chains.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's it. No,

Speaker 2 I'm not free at all. I'm actually the most bridled I've ever been.
What does bridled mean? I learned from you.

Speaker 2 It's the opposite of unbridled me. That's right.
What does unbridled mean? Unbridled means you're free. Okay.

Speaker 2 So you're chained. Yeah.
I am. Yeah.
And give me some of the chains. Can you explain?

Speaker 2 It definitely.

Speaker 2 It is you.

Speaker 2 Okay. Yeah.
Because I thought it might be the world traveling and golfing with celebrities. No, it's that a chain? It's you.

Speaker 2 You and Timberlake and all those guys? Is that it? I feel like that's a chain. How about you, Atianis? That could be a chain.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a tough chain.
Champagne, golf course.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? I don't drink champagne. Outrageous success can be

Speaker 2 outrageous.

Speaker 2 I see. Okay.

Speaker 2 So that's a chain for sure. What else is a chain? Married to a beautiful woman?

Speaker 2 What a chain. Carrying the weight of all the responsibility of all the stuff.

Speaker 2 Oh, really?

Speaker 2 Oh, really?

Speaker 2 Yep. Yeah, all the responsibilities.
Okay.

Speaker 2 But what are they? Well, this show. Okay.
The animated show. Yeah.
The game show. Yeah.

Speaker 2 The tour. Huh? The tour.
Just literally everything that we do here. Right.
Right.

Speaker 2 This entire operation. Sony show.
Yeah, it's just the

Speaker 2 literal entire operation. During Apocalypse Now,

Speaker 2 in filming,

Speaker 2 they're all prepped.

Speaker 2 You were in that? No, I wasn't. I'm giving you a new one.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. Yeah, I played.
They CGI'd. I'm all the Vietnamese.
They CGI'd me back though.

Speaker 2 Mao, mao, ma, ma. You know what I mean? They just did it a thousand times.
Okay, so, um, yeah, I'm not in it. You sure? Yeah, I'm in platoon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 All right, so,

Speaker 2 you know, Apocalypse now, right? They're prepped, scripts ready, right? They, you know what I mean? Camera, lights, all of it, right? They're in production.

Speaker 2 Now they're shooting. And then one day, Brando shows up.
He had nothing to do with it, but his presence.

Speaker 2 He thinks he's Brando. Wow.

Speaker 2 Wow. He just called himself.

Speaker 2 Brando. You think Brando...
You were Brando in the analogy. He's Brando.
No, I'm not. Yeah.
I'm the fucking poop operator.

Speaker 2 You think Brando... He's Brando.
You think Brando.

Speaker 2 He's Dennis Hopper. You think Brando would ever do Karate Ghost?

Speaker 2 Ow! Ow! Ow! You're right. Is that a Brando movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, you're right. You're right.
Okay. Bobby is very, very funny.

Speaker 2 He's very funny. He is.

Speaker 2 You are very funny. You guys are too funny.

Speaker 2 He is by far the funniest person I've ever known. known well i'll take some of the slack what do you need me to do pal buddy

Speaker 2 the ship is already gone

Speaker 2 but i have a little boat

Speaker 2 let me tell you something

Speaker 2 who's gonna drive it

Speaker 2 i've driven boats before dud i don't think so i haven't but i can figure it out okay and i have the in the back what is it called right a canoe a canoe

Speaker 2 a motorized canoe a gigantic engine a little canoe oh and i have my bottles of water. I have this.
I have my iPad for Wi-Fi so I can watch Netflix shows and stuff. Got it.
And I'm coming. Good.
Right.

Speaker 2 So I caught up to the machine, the boat. You got us? Yeah, I'm there.
Okay. What do I do, Andrew? Anything.

Speaker 2 So he's like Dennis Rodman, right? He shows up and you. That's a better analogy.
Yeah, like Dennis Rodman. Yeah, and you're Jordan.
Hello? You're carrying the weight

Speaker 2 of the bulls.

Speaker 2 I'm a little bit more Pippin. Who's Rodman? I mean, I'm Rodman.
Who's Michael? Who's Jordan? Yeah.

Speaker 2 In this scenario. None of us.
Okay.

Speaker 2 That's why this thing isn't as successful as it should be. Oh, we need Paul.
We're missing a Jordan. We need Amy Poehler.
We need a Pohler.

Speaker 2 We need Amy Poehler. We do.

Speaker 2 Tina Fey. Tina Fey.

Speaker 2 They have a podcast now. I know.
And it's killing us. It's successful right off the bat.
Right off the bat. As it would be.
As it should be. And it should be, and they should be allowed to.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Why wouldn't they be allowed to? I'm just saying we live in a free society.

Speaker 2 You're saying it doesn't infringe on any of our comedic space. Yeah, it doesn't.
No, it's all. I thought you meant like because they're women.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 And that's right now uncalled for that you would even say something like that.

Speaker 2 And that right there offends me. He's got two daughters.
He's pro-women. He's pro-woman.
I'm just saying. I'm pro-pro too.
He's pro-woman. He's pro-women working.

Speaker 2 Ask me some pro-woman stuff and I'll tell you if I'm pro-woman or not. Okay.

Speaker 2 Do you think women's basketball...

Speaker 2 Caitlin Clark, lover

Speaker 2 reinvented the WNBA?

Speaker 2 Okay. 20 points last game.
That's right. Okay.
Angel Reese destroyed her. No.
Flagrant Flow. Fragrant Flow.
Owl. Yeah, yeah.
Ow, yeah. But Caitlin Clark did the Fragrant Fowl.
Exactly.

Speaker 2 Yeah. He was going to ask you, do you think they should be paid the same as the men? Well, I think Caitlin Clark made a $28 million deal with Nike a year ago.
I think that helps. Pretty good deal.

Speaker 2 That's a pretty good deal. Yeah.
And I think she's going to make more as time goes on. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 What would be your suggestion as a lover of women and such a feminist to make the league more successful? Yeah. What would be some great ideas to encourage women to change the outfits? Right.

Speaker 2 Well, we'll do sex. Right.
They got to dress sexier, right? No, that's not what I said. That's fucking crazy.
Come on. That you'd even have jumped to that.
More clothes.

Speaker 2 Wait, you want them to all dress dikey? Yes, dude. More clothes.
Turtlenecks. I think they should all wear business suits.
Yeah, yeah. Strap their breasts to their chest, right? Right.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And just, you know. So you're controlling their body? No, I'm not controlling their breath.
I'm just saying so that we don't sexualize the league. But we're the ones watching.

Speaker 2 Like, women aren't watching. Yeah.
You have an imagination, right? Yeah. Use it.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 But I think if they dress. Give me another.

Speaker 2 You know what I always imagine when I'm watching the WNBA? What? I imagine I'm watching the NBA.

Speaker 2 Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. That's my imagination.
Yeah, that's my imagination, too. Give me another thing about the WNBA.
Okay,

Speaker 2 name three teams.

Speaker 2 Name one team. Yeah, Indiana Fever.

Speaker 2 Wow, that's Caitlin Clark's team. That's good.
I'm a Caitlin Clark fan. Name another one.

Speaker 2 Chicago Sky. Wow.
That's right.

Speaker 2 That's angels. How about the city that we live in? L.A., dude.
Yeah, what are they called? Ponds. That's insane.
L.A. Ponds.
That's insane. We have the Lakers.
We have the Ponders.

Speaker 2 He got three out of three. Yeah, yeah.
Three out of three. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The L.A. Ponds.
Ponders. Oh, they're thinking a lot.
Well, no, but no, like Lakers. The Ponders.

Speaker 2 No, because they're just little sneakers. It's a playout words.
I get it. It's a playout word.
I can't do playout words. Do you really know what the team is here? No.

Speaker 2 You read one article about the WNBA and Angel Reese and Caitlin Clark, and you know those things, and that's it. No, because I.
I know how you consume media and information.

Speaker 2 Here's the thing: is that I know that the rivalry between Angel and Caitlin is made by the media. Yeah.
Made by the media, right?

Speaker 2 And then I went on a back,

Speaker 2 I followed Caitlin from high school to college to where she is now. She was number one pick in the draft, you know what I mean? And all these little information.
And I, you know, okay, sure.

Speaker 2 So you basically. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 What I'm saying is that a lot of times when you're not interested in something and then something makes you like the reason why I like Arsenal FC is because years ago I saw Tyria Henri playing for France 25 years ago or whatever, right?

Speaker 2 And I got hooked on Arsenal because he was my gateway into the fucking sport. Right.
All right. So sometimes I don't feel bad about that.

Speaker 2 You shouldn't feel bad about that, but you know everything we know because that it's big news about her.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and I want to know more as time goes on because I'm a fan and I want to be interested now. Now, do you know what high school Angel Reese went to? No, I did not know.

Speaker 2 So you only paid attention to the white people. I know what you're going to turn this into.
You're going to turn this into a race thing. I didn't.
Yeah, yeah, that's the only thing you were doing.

Speaker 2 And I love black people.

Speaker 2 Prove it. What's up?

Speaker 2 Right? Yeah. Just in those two words, you get it.
I get it. What is that? That's Angel Reese's new McDonald's sponsorship.
What's the meal? Don't.

Speaker 2 Yeah, tell me. Don't.
Yeah, yeah. Turn that off.
Take the screen off, and we're going to guess what a McDonald's meal is. What do you think? How about this?

Speaker 2 We all pick one. Okay.
Go ahead. Y'all ask you first.

Speaker 2 I would say it's a

Speaker 2 fried

Speaker 2 spicy fried chicken. Oh, my God.
What? Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's a sandwich? Yeah,

Speaker 2 spicy fried chicken. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Pork grinds

Speaker 2 on it. Yeah.
And

Speaker 2 now it's the meal. No, because we have to all participate.
Oh, but I'm going to finish. And a grape drink.

Speaker 2 What? It's a drink. Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
You get a drink. Yeah.
Yeah. I think it's just a burger and fries.
Yeah, yeah. Me too.
That's how it is. Burger and fries.

Speaker 2 What would be the point? What would be the point of that?

Speaker 2 And it's got to be special. I didn't see your perspective.
It's a regular American citizen. It's just an American citizen.
Yeah, but it's got to be it. It's interesting that it's spicy.

Speaker 2 Spicy fried. Spicy fried chicken.
That's interesting. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What is the meal? Yeah. No, the meal is a fried chicken sandwich and then it comes with hot sauce in a purse.
I got to be honest with you.

Speaker 2 And a grape drink.

Speaker 2 It is a barbecue bacon burger, but it does come with an orange high C. Oh, wow.
They're very close. You're close.

Speaker 2 I was fucking close. Is there fried okra?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta have them fried the McDonald's Angel Reese special.
Get a side of grits with your order today. Well, they all they did.
Oh, that was you? Who just said that? He did.

Speaker 2 He's so good. Fuck that.
I thought that was the fuck-I know, right? Do it again. I was teasing you.
I can do it too. Go.
You go, holy shit. What's Caitlin Clark's meal? It's got to be Chick-fil-A.

Speaker 2 Oh, I know. It's got to be a Chick-fil-A.
It's closed on Sundays. Lean beef.
Right. Yeah, it's lean beef.
It's like 64. Vegan cheese.
Right. Right.
Right. Right.

Speaker 2 The bread is.

Speaker 2 Sourdough? Not sourdough.

Speaker 2 What doesn't have the wheat thing in it? Dave's bread. Gluten-free.
Gluten-free. Gluten-free bread.
Yeah. Sorry.
Mine laps. That's okay.
Okay.

Speaker 2 There's no fries. Yeah.
Oh, wow. Yeah.
Brussels sprouts. Yes.

Speaker 2 Brussels sprouts.

Speaker 2 And a sugar-free lemonade, maybe. Right.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 What do you think? I'm just not in on this fucking Brussels sprouts, by the way. I'm all in on Brussels sprouts.
I'm all in, and that's where our common ground is, my favorite shit. They're dog shit.

Speaker 2 Go to

Speaker 2 Katana next to the comedy store. The Japanese joint? Yes.
And they have this fried Brussels sprout chips.

Speaker 2 Dude, you could fry.

Speaker 2 You could fry your toes. I would eat them.
Fried doesn't count.

Speaker 2 Give me Brussels sprouts. They try to cook them a million ways.
They're not good. They're shit.
They're shit. They're having a real glow up like cauliflower.
I know, and I don't like it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like cauliflower spots. I'm all for it, right? Cauliflower mash.
I'm all for it. I'm all for it.
I'm all for it. This cauliflower mash they're trying to push around to people.
Get fucked.

Speaker 2 Give me mashed potatoes. How about buffalo cauliflower, though? It's nice.
So good. Yeah, it's really good.
It's fine. So, a couple weeks ago, I found out that Andrew

Speaker 2 is now black.

Speaker 2 You can say it.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Cut to commercial.
How do you feel about this new

Speaker 2 viral trend going on? I feel like it's justice, it's what we've known. Yes.

Speaker 2 I mean, look, Bill Burr is a redhead. His wife is black.
My wife is black. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 2 That's offensive that you laugh at that. You know, this wife is black, right? I met his wife.
Yeah. Is she light-skinned? Oh, my God.
That is

Speaker 2 insane. She's wearing a Korean mask all the time.
Those like facial masks. Yeah, she wears those to get ready.
Yeah, to get ready. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But we know redheads are black, and we've always been black, and people know that. And our rhythm is different.
Our vibe is different. White people don't view us as whites.

Speaker 2 Black people see us as other, and they enjoy that.

Speaker 2 Amen. And so

Speaker 2 now this show is truly biracial. Hallelujah.
Hallelujah. Didn't have to DEI it.
We did it organically. Yeah, we did.
There is really one white guy in this room right now. Exactly.
Just me.

Speaker 2 Well, no, McCone. McCone.
Yeah. Yeah, look at him.
I'm not coming. Well, I mean, in this room.
Yeah. Oh, right.
Yeah. They're not allowed in this room.
Right.

Speaker 2 How do you feel about knowing that I was black? You texted me. You got excited.
I started calling her on other comics to maybe start a new podcast.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was like, I can't. The irony of me being black, yet I'm the one who's on time

Speaker 2 on this show. Yeah.
Interesting. Interesting.
But no, when I found out that you were black,

Speaker 2 because I love James Baldwin.

Speaker 2 Right. Yeah.
Yeah. And

Speaker 2 his literary works. Right.
His essays. Yeah.
And so, you know, I went back, read some of those essays and then um

Speaker 2 i also visited some places you know you did yeah i went to rosa parks funeral

Speaker 2 she was she was a redhead she was definitely where where was that at what where was her funeral well they've moved it several times but currently it's in north carolina got it yeah yeah and um i also what's so funny

Speaker 2 ah that's exactly where it is yeah

Speaker 2 and then i saw hamilton Yes. Yeah, yeah.
I saw Hamilton. When I found out, dude, I saw Hamilton 20 times in a row.
Wow. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I still don't understand it. Right.
Yeah, yeah. But I'll have to read up on it.
Maybe, you know, get some footnotes or whatever on Hamilton.

Speaker 2 I'm going to BBQs to celebrate right after

Speaker 2 you. Exactly.
Yeah. I'm going to get a greasy little barbecue salad.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
What? No, no, good. Another thing that I

Speaker 2 brought back my Mr. T.

Speaker 2 My Mr. T merch.
You did? I used to collect them. Yeah,

Speaker 2 they're in a storage bin.

Speaker 2 I pitied the fool, you know. Yeah, I pity the fool as as well.
Yeah, so I've always pity the fool. I've been saying that a lot lately.
Yeah, I pity the fool, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 And because of you, and homage to you. Thank you.
Yeah, I also say hi to black people in the spa.

Speaker 2 I never used to. You never used to.
Yeah, yeah. So I go, hello there.

Speaker 2 You say hi. My podcast co-host is also

Speaker 2 African-American. Thank you.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 How do you feel about it, Giannis? I feel great. I mean, I came in and I read the article and I smelled cocoa butter when I got in here.
Yes,

Speaker 2 it was so beautiful. All made sense.
The fresh smell of cocoa butter, oh, in the morning. Cocoa butter is the smell of black friendship.
Yeah, so when I in apocalypse, no, that should be the line.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? Oh, I love the smell of cocoa butter in the morning,

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Speaker 2 Hundreds, thousands of dollars, because I have so many subscriptions on my stupid phone. No, I know, and I don't know what's you know, I mean, what's getting bled.
Yeah. Apps that I don't use anymore.

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Speaker 2 And then Lawrence Fishburne is there. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. The movie we called Apocalypse a Little Bit Later.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so yes.

Speaker 2 But he's so white, I think even if he had a black wife and they had a baby, I don't think it would darken the baby at all. No, my whiteness would overthrow it.

Speaker 2 What a beautiful thing you have. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
I mean, yeah, things are, I'm super happy about it. There's worse things to be born than Redhead? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Indian?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Jesus.
Wow. Jesus Christ.
You didn't even think about it, did you?

Speaker 2 God, this is what happens. Carlos almost dies, and so now he thinks he's,

Speaker 2 now he thinks he's invincible. He's the Michael Jordan.

Speaker 2 He is. Yeah, he is the Michael Jordan of this team.

Speaker 2 Yeah, same competitive nature, bald, bald thing. Yeah, wow.

Speaker 2 How are you doing? Carlos was throwing up blood, and we had to take him to the hospital. I didn't feel good on the way here, but I'm better now.
I was getting nauseous. Maybe you should get sober.

Speaker 2 That has nothing to do with it, Bob. It might.

Speaker 2 It might.

Speaker 2 What are you up to now?

Speaker 2 Like, drug-wise? The usual cocktail of what?

Speaker 2 Weed and pills. Yeah.
And some drinking.

Speaker 2 Bob, be cool.

Speaker 2 God. Isn't that a guy that is drinking? That response was weird, right?

Speaker 2 I'm not drinking. I'm not going out.
Have you been drinking? No.

Speaker 2 Have you had a drink? No. I haven't been going out on dates or anything.
On your father's life? Yeah.

Speaker 2 On your mother's life. On your mother's life.
He's drinking.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 You're drinking. Why would you want to kill your mother, dude? That's insane.
No, dude, I'm not drinking. Okay, just the usual drugs.
Yeah. Xanax? Of course.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Why can't we get off of this stuff?

Speaker 2 I mean, there's a new article that says America has a Xanax problem.

Speaker 2 Oh, shit. And you're contributing?

Speaker 2 No, I'm the victim here. The doctors keep giving it to me.
Oh, it's a victim thing. Yeah, they got me hooked.
But I'm happy to be hooked on it.

Speaker 2 But it would be terrible to be born in India.

Speaker 2 Why do you say that? MJ, what's up, dude?

Speaker 2 That was just me. That's straight.
Like, black people always say, like, oh, like, what do black people always say?

Speaker 2 Like, P-O-V, you're a baby in india and it's like someone crying or something that black people always say that yeah i assume all memes are made by black people black twitter is is that what you're referring to like black ig tick tock oh just the hood in general if i was born in india i would want to be a bollywood kind yeah yeah

Speaker 2 Bollywood is the real Hollywood. At least they're still working.
They still actually, they're still up and how many movies did Bollywood make in a year? They do like 3,000 a year. It's amazing.

Speaker 2 God, I can't believe we should get into Bollywood. I want to be into it.

Speaker 2 Because it's either that or you keep doing karate ghost.

Speaker 2 Come on, dude. Stop bringing up karate ghosts.
You brought it up.

Speaker 2 A thousand films a year. Yeah, a thousand.

Speaker 2 Rank them out. Just karate ghost after karate ghost after karate ghost.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 The food is great. Food is great.
And actually, they're having a real glow up. They're kind of like the cauliflower of people.
They're doing great. Well, the food is great here.

Speaker 2 When you see it made on the street there, it scares the shit out of me.

Speaker 2 I would go a higher end, but my point is that when I was in South Africa, after the shows, we'd go to this one Indian restaurant. It was the greatest food I've ever had in my life.
It was so good.

Speaker 2 But it's Americanized.

Speaker 2 In South Africa? No, yeah, because there's no chicken tikka masala there. Right.
That's our thing.

Speaker 2 They made that. Oh, wow.
Like, you ever notice when you walk into an Indian restaurant, the waiter just goes to the chef, tikka masala. Chicken.
They just know what we like. They know what we like.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I never get that. No? I get like a curry.

Speaker 2 But that's, yeah. And I get a garlic naan.
Oh, yeah. Some of the balsami rice.
Oh, I love it. Come on, guy.
Come on, guy. I do chicken tika every time.
Do you really? Yeah. Really?

Speaker 2 Garlic naan, chicken tikka, sog, and I'm good. Sag paneer? Yeah, sag paneer.
You ever get a mango lassi? Is that the drink? Oh, yeah. That's so good.
Nice. Yogurt and mango.
Yeah. I love Indian food.

Speaker 2 Me too, man. Big, big fan.
Big fan of it. You know what I'm not into? Yeah.
I'm out on

Speaker 2 for a long time. No more Chinese food.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait i thought you were black dude chinese blacks love it we used to yeah yeah yeah we moved on why is it that i i gotta tell you every time i have chinese food now i'm just bummed now have you ever hooked up with an indian woman um

Speaker 2 pakistani but they smell the same

Speaker 2 well may i ask yeah you know i i'm inquisitive okay yeah may i ask what the smell is if you can describe it have you ever been in a cab in new york city i mean they have different religions and they hate each other, and it's sad because they smell the same.

Speaker 2 Is that your bonding? That's how you're trying to mend the problem.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's just like, what are you guys doing? You're the same, same. Like,

Speaker 2 same. Yeah.
How about you? Have you? An Indian woman? Yeah. No.

Speaker 2 Asian, but I guess

Speaker 2 Asian.

Speaker 2 No. And India is Asia.

Speaker 2 So, no Indian. You've never hooked up with an Indian girl.
I have. Really? Nope.

Speaker 2 I wanted to feel like

Speaker 2 you were global and open that way.

Speaker 2 You're almost exclusively whites and Asians or half Asian, half white. And Mexicans.

Speaker 2 A lot of Mexicans. Really? Oh, yeah.
A lot of Mexicans.

Speaker 2 I love the Mexicans. Remember, that girl that said I was too fat? She was Mexican, remember? I loved her.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. But, you know, by the time I die, I would like to experience

Speaker 2 a black woman and an Indian woman.

Speaker 2 You think you you could get a black woman to date you? I've been on dates with half-ones, half Halle Berry types.

Speaker 2 Halle Berry's not half black, isn't she? She's black, right? Full black?

Speaker 2 Is half Berry? Is she?

Speaker 2 Her name is Halfie Berry. That's weird.
I didn't know that. She's biracial.
Halley Berry. Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 But you've never had

Speaker 2 a full black woman, both black parents. I've hit on them before.
Oh, no, no. No, actually,

Speaker 2 a month ago, you know, at the comedy store, I made out with one. Wow.
A full black. She was hot, like a supermodel.
Yeah, what is it? Yeah. I mean, she's just stunning.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 And what happened to the fish? And she had these, she's from Nigeria.

Speaker 2 And they had these

Speaker 2 skinny Nigerian lips. It reminded me of that Tom Hanks movie.

Speaker 2 You know that Tom Hanks movie where he's a captain? Captain. What?

Speaker 2 And those pirates? Right. Yeah, it had those kind of lips.
Oh, like Somalian. Yeah, Somalian.
Captain Phillips. Yeah, dried, you know what I mean? Somalian lips.
Yeah. Not race.
I'm not being racist.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying that, yeah, I mean, she was hot, but she zoom in in the mouth. Is that her? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. She had that kind of lip.
It was a little dry, but, you know what I mean? Very hot.

Speaker 2 One of my good friends is Somalian. They all kind of look very similar.
Somalian. You got a good friend that's Somalian? A comic? Yeah.
No, not a comic. A human.
A friend from college.

Speaker 2 A regular adult. Regular guy.
They look very similar. Sure.
Yeah. Yeah.
Why not? Yeah. How about a Korean? Have you hooked up with a Korean?

Speaker 2 I've really been around the world. I've gotten a little bit of everything.
Laser beams, Eastern Hemis. All right, good.
Yeah. Greenland?

Speaker 2 No. Those Northern Lights.
Do you know like that? Scandinavia. Yeah, okay.
Scandinavia. Swedes.
Swedes. Swedes.
Swedes. Norwegians.
Yeah, I'm Swedes. Yeah.
I've gotten a little bit of everything.

Speaker 2 Black, white. Yeah.
You've touched all the bases. Jewish.
And now that you're with your beautiful white wife. She's a white girl.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 You feel like you've traveled the world and I'm going to stick back to my people. That's right.
That's what happened. Is she Greek? My wife is half Greek, half Italian.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Only Greek girl I ever dated, by the way.
Wow. Yeah.
Yeah. Only Greek girl.
Can I ask about, is it hairy down there with Greeks? You're talking about my wife's vagina?

Speaker 2 No, it's just in general.

Speaker 2 I assume it's hairy, but I don't want to, you know what I mean? I can be open to it, that it's not. Nobody's hairy anymore.
Nobody's hairy anymore. Okay.
Everyone's trimmed down. What was it?

Speaker 2 Is that a rude question, do you think? About his wife's

Speaker 2 fucking rude question. Is it an innie or outie? Does it open like a flower? Jesus Christ.
Okay, let's move on. Okay, fine.
Keep going. Really? Yeah, it's great.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Would I feel anything when I enter?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 that's really disrespectful. Okay, good.
That's really disrespectful. That's a lot of disrespect

Speaker 2 on your end as well. No, that's not.
A lot of disrespect on your end as well. So I'm just giving it back.
That's a different level of disrespect. Yeah, yeah.
Really? Yeah, you're talking about.

Speaker 2 Are you angry now? I'm fucking pissed. No, you're not.
Guess what? I'm never doing Tiger Belly again. Okay, good.

Speaker 2 So our numbers can rise.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 it's true. It's a favor what he has behind.

Speaker 2 No, listen. I love you.
I love you, too. Okay.
I apologize.

Speaker 2 It's rude. It's rude.

Speaker 2 Exactly. It is rude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I apologize to you.
That's nice. Okay.
Thanks.

Speaker 2 How about your mom's pussy?

Speaker 2 It's, you know,

Speaker 2 it's across. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's horizontal.

Speaker 2 And we're trying to get a surgery where it's... I'm Babby Babby's pussy.

Speaker 2 Come on.

Speaker 2 Stop it.

Speaker 2 No. Dude, they beat me into my fucking flight.

Speaker 2 I gave him my passport. And the guy said, this doesn't have your name on it.
I said, what? Yes, it does. He goes, it doesn't say Bobby's mom.

Speaker 2 That's so funny. It was very funny.
That's very funny. I was like, good on that guy.
To answer your question, Greek women are hairy. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's a little hairy. It's just a scientific guy.

Speaker 2 It's just a fact.

Speaker 2 You guys are more hairless like Sphinx cats. Yeah.
We're a little more hairy. Now that you're black, you must have loved Sinners.

Speaker 2 The show Sinners? The movie.

Speaker 2 Oh, I didn't see it. Oh, oh wow

Speaker 2 you would love it is that michael b jordan yeah i really like it did you see it no yeah i do think i do think uh i do think i'm 2025 will mark the end of my

Speaker 2 uh hollywood that's what are you doing you're done i i think after 2025 i think i'm not i am no longer gonna try to be in stuff yeah i think this is it why i think i just don't want to do it anymore i hear you i think i'm out i think i'm out too you just named four projects you're working on.

Speaker 2 I know, but Karate Ghost, Gutter Markers, these smaller like Druck Short Junes.

Speaker 2 What was it? Gutter Markers? I was in a movie called Gutter Muckers. And Jim Belusia.
It's a normal named film. With Jim Belushi and Leslie Jones, and Eleanor Kerrigan's in it.
Love her.

Speaker 2 We should all do like a podcast movie. We're doing one right now.
About our podcast and like murder and violence. Who dies? I don't know.
So do you think it's just not?

Speaker 2 It's dead. It's dead.
So Hollywood is dead. Yeah.
No, it's alive. If you're part of an elite group that

Speaker 2 is getting all the money. If you're on an Apple show.
Right. Yeah.
I mean, you saw the studio. That might have had everybody and their fucking brother in it.
Yeah. Except for us.
Us.

Speaker 2 Does it pay well like it used to? Apple. Apple does.
Yeah. If you're one of those guys, if you're a name, it pays well.
Would you choose between doing Bad Friends or the studio? What would you pick?

Speaker 2 Studio. Bad friend.
What do you mean? If you had to choose two career paths, you could be in the studio

Speaker 2 or you can just keep going. As a lead, like if I was Ike's role, sure, I would do that.
Instead of bad friends.

Speaker 2 Wow. You mean forever? That's yes.

Speaker 2 No, I do bad. Okay, thank you.
Well, this last, this is more meaningful and less

Speaker 2 just to do a role on a show. Everyone, you heard it for her first.
Apple TV

Speaker 2 Plus is reportingly losing a billion per year. What do they care? They make phone.
Bobby just bought a new phone. He's helping.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 It doesn't matter. That's not even.
They can lose all the money in the world. That show had literally every star that's around in it.
But losing a billion a year is not a great business.

Speaker 2 It doesn't matter. What is Apple gross? Because branding.
Yeah. That's just what they would spend on advertising.
Right. What does Apple gross a year? Not even fucking net.
What do they gross?

Speaker 2 Trillions.

Speaker 2 That's for now until Trump moves. Apple's annual revenue for last year was $391 billion.
Yeah, that's because Chinese slaves make it.

Speaker 2 But we're going to bring the factories back here, and these guys are going to go back to work and make it.

Speaker 2 So they're going to be more expensive, and their profit margins are going to be less.

Speaker 2 The whole world's world's cheap. Bob, do you know her? Koratigo.

Speaker 2 Karate goose. Koratigos.
This is selfie. Do I know her? Fuck off.
Zheng Yi, Zheng Yi, what's your favorite movie? Karate Goose.

Speaker 2 Bobby Lee. Is this a...
What is this? A trans quiz? Oh, trans quiz. Oh, and should I take it? Yes.
I'll take the trans quiz. It's totally straight, by the way.
All right.

Speaker 2 And if you feel weird about it, just pretend.

Speaker 2 Let's play the game. Let's see.
Yeah, yeah. Continue.
Is this person born female or trans or trans? Born female. Born female.
Trans.

Speaker 2 All right, which one am I putting down? Well, he says born female. Yeah, I said trans.
Okay, good, good, good.

Speaker 2 Oh, this is the quiz. Next question.
I'm one for one. Oh, zoom in a little bit more.
Can you zoom in a little bit more, the whole thing, the page? Oh, here we go. Woman.
Born female. Transsexual.

Speaker 2 Transsexual. That's a woman, dude.
You're wrong twice. Oh, fuck.
See, that's what I mean. Ban it.
I I don't even know the difference.

Speaker 2 Trans. Woman.

Speaker 2 Trans.

Speaker 2 Wow, woman. Woman.
What the fuck? We're gay again. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Trans. Trans, trans.
Trans, trans. Trans, trans.

Speaker 2 I, yeah. Yeah.
I know her. That's if she's famous.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Next time. Trans, trans, trans, trans.
All age. She was the iPhone girl.
Yeah. Trans, trans.

Speaker 2 Oh, trans. Trans, trans.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yep.

Speaker 2 Trance. Trans.
Trance.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 That's where they get you. That's where you get you.
Trance. Trance.

Speaker 2 No. No.

Speaker 2 Yeah, ban it.

Speaker 2 Ban it. You got to ban it.
Yeah, you got to ban it. You got to ban it.
You got to ban it. Yeah, we're confused.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I get it.

Speaker 2 I know a lot of people say this, but it is kind of like a burger and a Beyond burger. Exactly.

Speaker 2 Depending on the condiments you put on it, you just have to put the right condiments on it. Exactly.
It's close. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's close.

Speaker 2 Thank you so much for talking to me about this. And I can tell the difference.
Dude, if something has to be. I don't think you could.
I like USDA. Okay.

Speaker 2 I like it verified. I'm just saying, if something's got tits and a nice S,

Speaker 2 that's a C plus. It's getting a 75 on a test.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2 And the face? And the face is, yeah. If the face is beautiful.
Beautiful. Oh, come on, guys.
This is all you guys. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know what our prediction is? Yeah. I think, Yana, you will get there.
You'll get there. You'll get there.
We'll get you there. We'll get you there.
Hey, boys. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You guys want to go to Thailand? I promise I won't. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You guys want to go to Thailand? I would never do that. No.
No. Why?

Speaker 2 I think I would like to be a voyeur.

Speaker 2 You're a window shopper. I'm a window shopper.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Cucking. I'm seeing somebody now, and she's great.
You know what I mean? So, you know, I like. Are you? Yeah.
Yeah. The spell worked from Andrika.

Speaker 2 What do you mean it worked?

Speaker 2 A while back, we're spell from andrika worked we paid for a spell

Speaker 2 to be put on bobby or tim to spell to the world how did we do i don't even know how to

Speaker 2 it worked we put two spells we put two love spells out there irresistible allure and rival be gone because of uh the movie

Speaker 2 wow wow Wait, so this is somebody put a real spell on him? No, you pay this woman, Andrika, to put a spell out to the world to give you what you want. Holy shit.
And it's only 30 bucks.

Speaker 2 Whatever you want, dude. Yeah.
That's what you want. You name it.
Do it. Yeah.
What do you want?

Speaker 2 From the discussion about 50%. A television deal? You want a television deal? Yeah.
Okay. Yeah.
Television deal. Nah, I don't want to pay for that.
30 bucks. It's not much.

Speaker 2 We get a percentage, though. Of his deal? Yes.
You know he's going to bail when it gets.

Speaker 2 What I want is for my two friends, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino, to have everything that they want in their life, to live well, have health, have happiness, have spirituality, peace.

Speaker 2 That sounds like a curse, not a significant thing. Yeah, that's a curse.
It's not a miracle shop. What did you just say, fuckhead? It's not a miracle shop.
Give me back the desigual shirt. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You pig. I got you a shirt.
I thought for sure you'd be more appreciative. You sloppy pig.
You didn't even care. Love it.
You didn't even care. All right, fuck it.
I just, I want St. Laurent sneakers.

Speaker 2 Okay. Get them some YSL shoes.
All right, listen.

Speaker 2 What size feet are you? I'm 10.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Interesting.
Can you put the spell out there? Yeah. These are St.
Laurent. How much are they?

Speaker 2 $750. At the low top.
So if we put $30, it's a good investment. I'll get it for $30.

Speaker 2 No, when you wear those, do you think people care? I fucking care. Exactly.
You like that. I want to impress my black friend that I got nice sneakers.

Speaker 2 I like them shoes.

Speaker 2 I saw them Air Maxes when you came in. That's right.
I said, my boy Giannis got them clean-ass Air Maxes. You hurt? You hurt.

Speaker 2 Do you promote your special? Promote special. Well, thanks for having me on to promote the special.
Well, we're happy that you came on. You guys got quite an audience, and I appreciate that.
So

Speaker 2 check out my special. And number two, what? History Hyenas.
Check that out. With Chris DeSefano? Yeah.
Love him. Love him.
Love both of you. Check out our podcast.
We're back together. It's great.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, he's going to betray you again. I knew that was coming.
But you know that he is, right? He's talking to us about it. He told us he's plotting it.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 So you've got to get mentally prepared when he sabotages you. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Well, let's 30 bucks. Tell that chick.
That's actually true. And let me ask you something.

Speaker 2 How could you forgive him?

Speaker 2 Forget portrayal.

Speaker 2 You know why we broke up? Vaccine.

Speaker 2 Vaccine had us thinking weird. You both got...
We both took the Pfizer. Oh.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Single shot. That did it.
Yeah, that shit. That messed up a lot.

Speaker 2 That's all Fauci. Yeah, it's all Fauci.
Oh, Fauci, dude. It's Fauci's fault.
What a guy. Yeah.
Well, you know what? They're making big changes over there. Yeah.
Yeah. Why not?

Speaker 2 Why not?

Speaker 2 Yeah. So, you know, it's worn off.
We're back. We're good.
Okay. People are loving it.
It's happy times, good times.

Speaker 2 You're not working for ICE anymore. You're done.
I'm done for ICE. Okay.

Speaker 2 Because it's brutal. That was, yeah, when history hanging has ended, I had to, I went, got a job at ICE.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Wow. And I couldn't take it anymore.
You just couldn't. Screaming.
It's a lot. Yeah, just the screaming.

Speaker 2 At first, I enjoyed it. You still friends with Stephen Miller?

Speaker 2 He's.

Speaker 2 That's a friendship and a bond that can't be broken. I've known him since we were little kids.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And we just see eye to eye on everything. All right.
Yeah. You know what makes me happy?

Speaker 2 It makes me happy to know that this show is still as stupid as it's always been from the beginning because I see a lot of our podcast pals or people in our sphere that are taking these shows to a level that we don't go to.

Speaker 2 Which is what? Well, they're all having like politicians on. Journalists.
Tim got fucking interviewed by like CNN. Yeah.
I was like, what in the fuck is going on? Yeah, we stay here. Same with hyenas.

Speaker 2 We stay right here. We stay right here.

Speaker 2 And I saw that they had Bernie on Schultz's show. Yeah.
What the fuck is going on? He's not coming here. Bernie?

Speaker 2 Yeah, we had David Mamet. Yeah, Ben Avlik.
Yeah, but that's rad.

Speaker 2 We got people that they can't get. Yeah.
No, it's not that they can't get him. Well, they can get him.
Yeah. We got him too.

Speaker 2 I just don't think we want politicians on the show. No, no, no, no.
I think that's a strange world. Any Buddha judge I'd have.

Speaker 2 He's gay? Yeah. No, thanks.
Ban it.

Speaker 2 No, no, no. It's getting a little muddled, right? It's getting a little.
What's going on?

Speaker 2 I just think podcasting,

Speaker 2 comedy podcasting is entering this world of like

Speaker 2 news or something. Yeah.
And people are taking it serious.

Speaker 2 And it's not. Well, there was an article after the election about how legacy media doesn't have the, you know, power it once had and that podcasting is now,

Speaker 2 you know what I mean, replacing some of that. You know, that's not good.

Speaker 2 We shouldn't replace it. This should be its own thing.
Yeah. This is its own form of music.
Do you know what I mean? Well, you know, like the news on TV was like the dictatorship, the regime.

Speaker 2 And then the internet was like an American military coup.

Speaker 2 And then there was a vacuum. And now comedians and like grifters are are like warlords.
They're like news warlords. Whoa, we're warlords.
We're not warlords. No, what are we? We're like,

Speaker 2 you guys are like funny warlords. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 The dictator would be in control and give it. Now you're like marauding warlords in control of your own fiefdom.
Wow. Bad friends.

Speaker 2 And Tim's got his fiefdom. We're all warlords.
Yeah. Wow.
Filling this vacuum. We're also in this coup.
We also, I mean, you probably know more than me, probably, but I don't know much. In the world?

Speaker 2 Yeah. I only know what I read this morning.
Yeah, so me too. So my point is that we don't know enough to have these people on.
We are a goofy. Yeah.
It's a comedy podcast.

Speaker 2 Imagine Bernie Sanders coming. He's like, it's great.
It's great to be here. And Bobby's like, what does your penis look like? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, I wouldn't say that. Why? You're fucking mindable.
Why would I say that? What would you say? I'm Bernie Sanders. Hey, go to your political.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 But my point, I wouldn't say that about your dick. You get the penis somehow.
Is your asshole gray? See? Okay, that'd be one of them. Yeah, you're right.
Is it, though?

Speaker 2 It brings big numbers right that's probably what people do because everyone's like talking it didn't used to be this way it didn't used to be everyone was into politics now even kids are into politics yeah yeah when i was like 12 i would just be like smell my fingers yeah i know people are like what's your position on israel palestine you're like you're 12 years old guy yeah well i i know your position what's my position i'm gonna say it say it yeah he's standing strong i'll tell you you're standing strong that's all i know standing strong yeah yeah yeah and probably on the wrong side of history

Speaker 2 well what is my position? I have no idea. You just say it.
So you know it.

Speaker 2 I don't know. You know.
I'm definitely on the right side of history. Okay.
Yeah. You on the right side or wrong? I'm looking at the map.
What is the right side? The right side.

Speaker 2 You mean the right, the literal right side? Well, let me see. That's interesting.
The right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That'd be the right side.

Speaker 2 That's right. Yeah.
Over there. I mean, even, I don't think people even know what we are politically.
What our fans. Our fans, really.
Yeah. Well, it's interesting to see the guesses.

Speaker 2 A lot of people like to guess. Yeah.
You guys are a couple of of

Speaker 2 Republican kids. Hardcore Republican? Hardcore Republican kids.
Are we? Interesting. He's against immigration.
Who is? Right. Look.

Speaker 2 Let me tell you something. I used to work at a coffee shop called the

Speaker 2 Panikin in La Jolla. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And every morning, the only friends I had there were the Hispanic old men that were working in the kitchen. Thou doth protest too much.
This is all a cover for one.

Speaker 2 I had a bond with them. Oh, yeah.
That was what?

Speaker 2 yeah this is what people do when they try to cover for the fact that they want all of them out i'm not done with the story okay go ahead all right so i had this experience with them you know every morning and then i called heist and they're gone

Speaker 2 i knew it i knew it well it's so close to the border yeah yeah

Speaker 2 no i i i really love those guys you know and um

Speaker 2 To me, they're just hardworking people that just, you know,

Speaker 2 they came from a place where they couldn't really afford to feed their families. And they came here, and they're doing the work that normal people don't want to do.
And I have no problem with that.

Speaker 2 I agree. And we're all

Speaker 2 normal people.

Speaker 2 Americans don't want to do. Wow, but you call them normal people.
So they're abnormal people?

Speaker 2 No, they're not. They're normal as well.
So, but why did you say

Speaker 2 they're normal in an abnormal way?

Speaker 2 Well, I will say, we got a couple immigrants here, and he does a job

Speaker 2 that nobody wants to do.

Speaker 2 so that is true.

Speaker 2 Anyway, Yannis, look in the camera and say, Thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being a bad friend.