Itchy Bones & Dream Catchers

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You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots?

White dude and an Asian dude.

You two are disgusting.

We're bad friends.

I go beep beep louder than your beep beep.

Beep beep beep birthday boy.

Bump bird boy.

Birthday boy.

Bump bum bum bump baby.

Die die soon.

Ten more years.

Bump bum bum.

Coma.

Coma.

No girl, bum, bum, won't die alone.

Bum bum bum won't shoot my face.

It was all good.

I could sing.

Let me do your life song.

And he will not die alone.

He'll have a fulfilled life with a beautiful wife and a couple of kids.

And he'll go fly a kite down by the ocean.

And one of his kids will walk.

There's a lion at the end of the day.

And he'll go...

What a birthday celebration.

What a beautiful, beautiful day.

And let me say something.

I appreciate everyone showing up to my party.

So

we rented a bowling alley.

Yeah.

Mantros.

Mantros.

Shout out to Mantros Bowl, man.

Yeah, it was an intimate little setting.

Awesome.

Eight lanes.

Yeah, there were some people I was like, why are you here?

Well, let me guess who.

You know, but

most people were like, oh, had pleasant surprises.

There was a couple people that didn't show up that I thought would show up, and I think maybe it's.

Well, Paul, dude, it's too far, buddy.

It's not far at all.

It was 15 years.

I have my dog, he said.

Bring the dog.

No, we already had one.

Yeah.

Okay.

And then who else?

It was funny because there was all these different camps, too.

Well, it was the Tiger Belly Camp and the Bad Friends camp.

Bad Friends camp.

But then there was also other pockets of things.

There were other pockets of comics.

You've had a lot of younger comics.

Yeah, yeah, younger comics, open micers.

How was my speech?

It was amazing.

You called everyone an open micer.

A lot of people that weren't open micers, you called open micers.

They were kind of open mikey.

I don't really, I don't, that's a subjective term.

And then I did a speech.

What did I say?

Did I mention?

Who did I mention in my speech?

Of course, you.

Did I mention you?

You mentioned me, Kalila.

That was very sad.

You mentioned me and Kalila and the bad friends.

Yeah, you mentioned bad friends, though, before Tiger Belly was.

That is true.

Yeah.

Why?

Well, it's by ranking.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Kalila did a phenomenal job.

Phenomenal job.

Phenomenon job.

One of the most phenomenal jobs I've ever seen.

And I also met the big bad wolf.

Oh, you did.

Boom, boom, boom, boom.

Jason Milan.

I will blow your house down.

Dude.

Dude, one of the nicest, coolest dudes.

He was over today.

By the way.

Yeah.

Handsome.

But my point is, is that.

Great.

Let me say the rankings of gifts.

Okay.

Gift ranking time.

Okay.

Gift ranking time, dude.

And I'm going to say this in the most honest way possible.

Please.

Okay.

Not only was this gift the best gift of the party, probably one of the best gifts I've ever received in my life.

And that's Gene Hong.

He gave me

the...

No.

Andrew.

Andrew gave me something that was such a surprise out of left field, right?

Here's what I want to be surprised.

You love a good surprise.

Right.

Number two, it's got to have value.

Financial value matters to you.

Yes.

No.

Sentimental value.

That's

bullshit.

Yeah.

Hello.

We bought you $500 Louis Vuitton glasses.

You go, I want the expensive ones.

Yeah.

And you got me those.

We did.

We did.

We went back and got you.

But here's the thing, okay?

What you gave me was shocking.

You didn't expect it.

It was the best gift I ever got.

Can I tell people what it was?

Of course you can.

Yeah.

He gave me.

I gave him his own home kit to make a Chinese water torcher, and it's got all the instructions.

So good.

You can do waterboarding, right?

It's really cool.

It comes with a matte, you know, that Braveheart

thing where he died at the end, that little

slab?

Dude, how do you unroll that?

I see an infomercial right now that's like, make your own waterboarding at home.

Yeah.

Timmy does it.

Yeah.

And then bamboo, you know what I mean?

Because you know, bamboo, the little little sharp like the tips yeah you can stick in the pink right in the tip tip tip tip and anyway tell him what i got you for real i have no idea what's going on but um he got me um well as

everyone knows i'm a big fan of arsenal fc it's a huge

it's your favorite soccer team the shoes

the shoes are a propping up the sign below the shoes are

the arsenal shoes that i bought you

they're propping up the sign

they remain in the box oh which is fine those are fine this is is fine.

Yeah.

The gift you got me way better.

Well, yeah, obviously.

So he gave me, so Arsenal FC, their biggest star of all time, was a guy named Tiri Henri.

That's right.

You got me a Tirion Re

signed soccer card.

But it's

a very exclusive card.

Exclusive card.

Hard to get.

For some reason, you left the price tags on them.

I did not.

Yeah, you did.

Yeah, you did.

I did not.

I can take photos of it right now, and i can show you the price tags on it really yeah on every single item there's a price forgot to take those off

so you know it is real yeah yeah i must have forgot to take those off

yeah

and in bold you know what i mean

oh did you do you have a price machine at home like one of those sticker machines i don't know because i googled it oh you did i didn't trust it it's a right about right okay yeah yeah

and then he got me an ethan wanyeri rookie card now this kid is from the Academy.

He's only 19 years old.

He could be the next big thing.

You think he might be one of the greatest Arsenal players of all time?

He's great.

That's good.

I mean, he's one of the youngest starters we've ever had.

Aside from Max Dauman, he was 16 or something when he first played.

How old is this new kid?

What, Max Dauman?

No, how old is this new rookie?

Now he's 19 or 20.

Wow.

He's 18.

He's 18?

This guy?

Wanyeri?

Ethan Wanyeri.

Yeah, yeah, he's 18.

18 years old.

And you think he's.

He was on the first team.

He played for the first team at 16, 17 years old.

That's disgusting.

We have a kid named Max Dauman who debuted at 15 two weeks, three weeks ago.

He can't even drive a fucking car.

Yeah.

And he's

they've never inserted their

genitals into other genitals.

You never know.

I don't know how that works.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know how they use your personality story as a measure.

Yeah.

Excuse me?

Well, that's how you joined teams when you were a kid.

Or they've never had caviar.

Is that better?

That's probably closer.

Yeah, yeah.

They've never had caviar.

They've They've never had like, you know, snow beef.

I love snow beef.

Love.

You know snow beef?

I think I've had it with you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We have snow beef.

Yeah, snow beef, dude.

Oh, wait.

The thing I got you that I'm really interested in.

And then you got me a completely different packet of a set of cards that I probably will never open.

Well, here's the deal.

I'm told, and I have to give some love to the truth of this.

Our good friend helped me.

I went to, I was going to a store.

I ran into a good friend of ours.

Do you remember who I ran into?

Did you go with him to there?

Or you just ran into him?

I literally

randomly ran into him.

And I was like, there's no way.

How was he odd?

My hand to God.

And I was like, he was walking out of one store next door.

These two cool, I'll show you where they are.

Okay.

Collectible stores.

And I was like, I want to get a collectible for you.

And he's walking out with his buddy.

And I was like, you have to be kidding me.

Wow.

And it's David Cho.

Yeah.

And I was like, dude, what are you doing here?

He's like, what are you doing here?

I was like, I'm coming to get a gift for Bobby.

And I was like, are you coming to the party?

That's why when I showed you his.

Was he invited?

Yeah.

He didn't come.

I showed you the text.

He said, my kids, I have to.

It's, you know, what?

I'm tired.

You know what I'm tired of?

Oh, God.

What?

He has kids.

I'm tired of.

That's the excuse.

With anyone that has a kid, that's the greatest excuse.

I don't have the information if they're sick, if they're dying.

You know what I mean?

If one of them's in prison.

Well, the kids, the younger kid is in prison.

You know what I mean?

They have a dying toe.

Right?

There's nothing.

I know.

Itchy bones.

They're nothing.

Itchy bones.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Itchy bones disease.

You know, I don't know, right?

It could just be like, this is an excuse.

I don't want to drive all the way over there.

So I'm just going to say kids.

I think he really couldn't because he was upset by it, but he helped me pick this.

No.

All right.

He helped me pick it out.

And he said that box set, he goes, Bobby's an addict.

I'm an addict.

He's like, the thing I love about comic books and new card things is because it's like an addict,

it's an itch to scratch.

Yeah, we're both addicts.

And by the way, he said, he said,

in that pack, you can choose to not open it, but in that pack could be a like one of 10 card that's worth 10 grand.

What's the card?

You'll know when you open it up because

it'll have a special look to it of an arsenal.

It'll say the sticker on it, one of 10 or one of number on it.

He's like, you should open it.

He opens all of them.

You don't have to.

Yeah.

But I think it's worth it.

Because that pack.

Because the price tag was on it.

Was $500.

I think that's what it said.

yeah 500 for just a packet of fucking but that's not the real price you know that i put fake prices on those so how much was the tier on re one i think the tier on re card was like 36 bucks and 40 cents

and the the the rookie card he gave me for free and that box said i think literally was 19.99

so i think it spent like 65 bucks

thank you

appreciate it i really do appreciate it no it was

no it was more you want me to throw them in a a fucking fire?

No, stop it.

Look at me right now.

Yeah.

I will throw them in a fire.

Sure, I don't care.

Are they the real prices?

No.

No.

I'm going to throw them in a fire.

Do it.

Okay, because it's not worth anything.

The Henri one is, don't do that.

Please don't do that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That one was not cheap.

Please don't do that.

Okay.

But is it the right price?

Anyway, let's move on.

But the rookie card was free.

I will say, shout out.

The guy was friends with Cho, and he was like, he's like, you want to, he's like, can I give this to you to give to Bobby as like an included gift?

And I was, well, because we'd spent enough money that he was like can i give you a free gift wow that's a huge one well he was super red that's the most exciting one exciting well he's also a big fan so he was like is this cool if i give you a gift to give to him i was like that's awesome he owns the store so he was like i'm gonna give you a rookie card he goes bobby you'll know who it is and i said okay so i put in the thing it's so good it's awesome it was you know the wanieri card was like a deep cut and it was like in my mind i'm like andrew's doing research

yeah you just said that he says i was being very mindful i did some research.

Well, I did research on where to go to get a collectible that I was looking for for you.

So that is true.

But he helped me with the other side.

All right, I'm going to go down to the.

Did I try to go get a Tiernary thing for you?

You know what I really tried to buy for you?

A signed jersey from Tier on Reef.

I don't want that.

Oh, framed on your wall in your room?

I don't do that.

You don't want that?

No, I'm not like fucking you.

Well, then I'm glad I didn't buy it.

Like a Midwestern, like, this is my man cave, dude.

I'm alpha male, dude.

Look, I got fucking Troy.

Aiken fucking signed wherever, whatever.

You know what I mean?

I don't like that.

God, you're such a copy.

And a deer head.

I shot that in the woods with my father, grandfather, and father, except when I was 17 years old.

You don't like those fans?

No.

So you don't like any fans?

I love them.

Okay.

I'm just not that kind of guy.

I'm beta.

You're very sensitive.

You're very sensitive.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You want to know the posters I have in my room?

Sure.

I have a poster of.

Depeche mode.

No, Peter Sellers and Shirley McClain together framed, right?

Okay.

I have a photo of Brian Ferry singing.

Okay.

Okay.

I have a photo of I have a really cool cool Lou Reed one on on the street.

I have a photo of Tashira Muffoon in his underwear ch doing a cheer.

Why?

It's like a is that at a party or it's a posed photo?

It was at a party.

It was just like it was a candid photo of him partying.

Yeah.

That's kind of cool.

Yeah.

What else do I have?

A couple of movie posters, but you know, I'm not, you know, I'm not, you know, I have like a deer head on my wall.

I don't think that's the thing.

I have a dream catcher.

Well, that's close to a deer head.

Yeah, yeah.

I have a little dream capture.

Has it caught any of your dreams?

I love them.

Really?

Saving them.

Have any of them come true?

No, I hopefully not, because they're all nightmares.

Wait, really?

Oh, yeah.

I have nightmares.

Isn't Dreamcatcher supposed to encompass your catch your dreams and put them back out into the world?

Isn't that what?

I think it catches nightmares.

Well, I'm pretty sure he, yeah, it catches them before it goes into your head.

You should know this, dude.

You were still reservation dogs.

Did you not pay attention to anything that those guys said?

I never even shook their hands.

You never shook one.

No, I'm not.

No, he's kidding.

I love them.

Rank your gifts here we go let's get a gift all right so number one andrew thank you number two i have to say gene hong what did he get you he got me um those um air pods that translate language no the airpod threes that just came out yeah yeah did you try it no they're still in the box you're never gonna use it when i go to mongolia or something i would when you going

i go to mongola every year every year you go is that where you go and jeez there's a hut out there dude i don't think you're gonna use that and i love eagles big mongolian eagles yeah yeah i love mongolian eagles and their beef is good.

They're delicious.

Well, the Mongolian eagle meat is good.

That's what Mongolian beef is, isn't it?

Yeah.

Sky cow.

I have one of those hand, you know, those eagle hand mittens.

Sky cow!

The conk cats.

Everyone needs one of those.

Absolutely.

Right.

Right.

You know what?

I also have,

you know, how the cocks fight, cock fighting, the conks, the cat, the little roosters.

I have the little knives and the elbows.

Oh, the elbow knives?

I have a collection of those.

I collect weird things, but my point is, is this.

Let's rank down the fucking gifts.

Me, Gene Hong.

Right.

And then.

What did he give you again?

The air pods.

It's not that good.

I mean, it's nice.

That's okay.

Now, that being said, you know, it's going to go down.

Way down.

Yeah.

Well, so three was, um,

I have to say, Sarah Highland, my ex-girlfriend.

Yeah.

She got me some weird shit.

She's she's cool.

Yeah.

She got me this weird Japanese.

It's like a vintage

toy from the 70s.

Wow.

Right.

And it's just like this weird Asian doll.

She goes, let me take it out.

She took it out, and there's a button, and it goes, hi-ya!

A little tiny Asian doll.

Yeah, that does a karate.

That goes up to number one.

Yeah, that's great.

That's pretty cool.

That's really cool.

Yeah, and then...

But it's a little scary.

It sounds a little scary.

It's a little scary.

Her gifts.

And then.

Just give me dead last now.

You can't go four, five, six.

Okay, I'll give you dead last.

And it's nothing against him.

It must be.

It must be.

So Sandy Danto.

Oh, wow.

He shows up two hours late.

He was pretty late, but I think he had his thing with his kids.

Oh, really?

Kids again?

Well, he showed up.

Yeah.

That's big.

Itchy bones.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, my kids have shivering eye disease.

That happened.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to call Sandy's kid.

I'm going to call Sandy Itchy Bones from now on.

So he goes, here, dude, happy birthday.

I know you like these.

What is it?

And I could tell it's dream water.

You know what dream water is?

No clue.

Dream water is what you go to the airport and you can, you know, you go to like any of those stores.

Yeah.

And it's a, you know, melatonin-y drink.

Right.

Like a, yeah.

Right.

And it came in a box, but the box was so tattered and torn that I knew that he probably bought it 10 years ago on the road.

Never, never gave it to anybody.

He never gave it to anybody.

He's like, I know you like these.

It was like the most tattered I've ever seen any box.

I mean, it's like brown and, you know what I mean?

I love it.

And I was like, he sat in his car.

And I just like,

okay, cool, man.

Thanks.

Yeah.

What did he say when he gave it to you?

Sorry, man.

Happy birthday, man.

Happy Yeah, yeah.

Dude, he told me he had 20 tattoos, and he never used to have tattoos.

I said, when did this happen?

He goes, honestly, dude, I just started getting them.

My wife and I wanted to get tattoos.

And then overnight, he goes, I filled my arms.

His arms are filled with tattoos.

I've never seen them.

He had so many tattoos.

He's always wearing like long sleeve shirts.

I know, but I was shocked.

Wow.

I think it's time for me, by the way.

I had a daydream the other day.

To get a tattoo?

I think it's time.

I think a neck went is time.

That's insane.

Yeah, yeah.

That's insane.

Am I kidding?

I love Sandy.

He's a very funny guy.

Always long sleeves.

Yeah, yeah.

So he always wears suit coats.

Look at you.

Suits.

He dresses so great, though.

Yeah, the kid's got great style.

He's got great style.

Fancy, you don't have a tattoo either.

Isn't it time to get a tattoo?

No.

Come on.

Yeah.

What are you going to get?

I don't know.

You have to dictate it.

Well, I mean, you love the Bears.

Not that much.

Oh,

it's got.

I don't know.

A cute, just golf club.

Just one little...

Yeah, but right here?

Yeah.

Smaller area.

Maybe right there on my and just thin.

Yeah.

Thin line.

Thin that's what i'm thin lines yeah yeah like your arsenal uh i don't have an arsenal i want to get how about this because i'm not you had an arsenal i want to get one i want to get an arsenal here what are you going to get the the cannon yeah yeah and then you get a golf club we'll go no yeah that's pretty cool

that kind of looks like a scar though yeah it looks like a scar yeah uh too thick that's also poorly done yeah yeah what does that say papa that's a little creepy it's a little creepy can i write what if i write daddy with a golf club yeah that's for you a golf club on your shoulder daddy danny

Somebody, what about your wife?

Something about your wife or something?

Like just like a like something that reminds me of her on me?

Yeah.

Or a little.

I'm trying to think of what that.

Do you have like a little funny thing that you call her?

Like pumpkins or.

I do.

Yeah.

What is it?

I have a nickname.

What's a nickname?

I'm not saying.

What's up with this guy that killed this girl and they found her in the trunk?

I wouldn't even know.

It's so dark.

Dude, this guy named David.

David.

He's a rapper in LA.

They found his Tesla in a dumpyard.

I heard.

And a year went by.

They found the body of this girl he killed.

A year ago, she was sitting in a car for that long.

So, where was the Tesla in his driveway?

No, it was in a dumpyard, in a junkyard, right?

Well, but they also interviewed the neighborhood, like the neighbors that he lived in there.

Like, oh, my dog would always sniff at the car, and there was a foul stench.

So he kept her in the car for a long enough time.

Then he turned it into like an impoundment lot and it just sat there.

And so

what a bad criminal.

Well, let's not kill.

Let's not kill him.

Don't do that.

But if you're going to, but if you're going to, think it through.

Think it through.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, you know, you got to know, you know, like the wolf in

Paul Fiction.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You need one of those guys.

You call that guy.

They take the Tesla and they crush it in that fucking crushing machine.

And that's gone forever.

It's gone forever, no?

This guy didn't do his due diligence.

Yeah, you got to just leave it there.

Also, I listened to some of his music because I'm not familiar with him.

Good?

No, it's bad.

So they should get him.

They got to get him.

It's terrible.

What would you do, though?

How would you do it?

If I was going to kill you?

No, no, no, but how to hide a body?

Hmm.

Well, you've obviously thought about it, so do you want to dive old?

No, that's why I'm asking now.

I've never even thought about it.

You know, so, you know, what does one do?

Is there.

Okay, let's say that here's a scenario.

Someone attacks someone you love.

Which one?

Someone hurts your mom.

Oh, my God.

Forget it.

Now you're a renegade, and you go to Arizona to kill this person.

You find him, you kill them, you call me.

Well, my brother would kill him first.

How is he going to get a ride to Arizona?

He has a car.

It's never going to make it.

I've seen that thing.

It's brand new.

I bought him one.

Wait.

I just bought a new car.

You've got a new car?

Yes.

Why'd you do that?

He's my brother.

He's buying me a new car.

You have

the cars you have.

All right, Jay Leno.

You could buy me an Andres a new car.

Yeah, no, you know what?

Because that was an on.

All right.

And then to sign this.

You know how annoying that is?

I actually said to him, I go, you're going to need a new car at some point.

He goes, I'm going to ride it to the wheels, fall off.

His car has 270,000 miles.

Oh, my God.

It still runs well, even though the engine light, check engine light.

But it smells in there because those cloth seats, after like 20 years, there's so much stuff in those seats how many times have you hooked up in that car i don't hook up in my car you've never hooked up in your car when you're in high school you never hooked up in that car i don't really hook up with people in high school mccone you never hooked up in a car in high school you've never hooked up on the back seat of a car i have but not my car you're a

you're a pussy dude you're a pussy dude you're weak you go in their car i have be a gentleman whose car uh this one girl at after we saw a waymo at the american so funny to fucking a waymo someone was the other day we were stop doing that behavior, please.

You're going to get cum all over the streets.

Stop, stop, stop.

Policy rules.

Stop, stop, stop.

Yeah.

So let's go back to...

She gives her criticism.

To my mom, mom.

Use your hands a little less.

Yeah, yeah.

You're doing it too wrong.

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My mother gets murdered?

Your mother gets murdered, and you call me, and you go, dude,

we need to take care of this guy.

Already, already, I wouldn't do that.

You wouldn't call me?

No witnesses.

You wouldn't.

No connection.

I don't want to connect you to the crime.

If somebody hurt your mother, I would.

You would never help me, dude.

What are you talking about?

Is that real?

You really believe that?

Murder?

As a friend, I wouldn't want you an accessory accessory to murder.

Well, if your mom is dead and you're going to go on a hunt to kill this person, this show's over, so I might as well fuck this up.

It's not over because I'm going to get away with it.

You're never going to get away with it.

I'm going to Google it.

They don't.

You're going to end up like David.

No, I'm David.

No.

You're going to end up like David David.

I'm just like one step ahead of David.

Really?

He can dance.

Yeah, yeah.

You have no steps.

He's got steps.

Yeah, yeah.

Give me what you're going to do then.

The guy that you go to kill.

Okay, give me the scenario because I don't even know what the scenario is.

Some random guy?

Here's what happened.

Your mom was playing Pai Gal,

and she took the table.

She's good at Pie Gal.

She's killer at Paigal.

And there's a guy.

I have some questions.

Is it an underground tournament?

No, no, no.

This is public.

It's at Talking Stick, the casino right near your mom's house.

She's at the

Talking Stick.

She's by herself?

She's in a room at a PyGow table.

It's late at night.

There's two or three people at the table.

Who are the people that are on the table?

There's a short, little, tiny black guy who's really good.

Maybe Puerto Rican?

There's a short, little, tiny Puerto Rican guy who's really good.

He's in his mid-60s.

Now it's fun.

Now it's fun.

He's divorced.

The second guy.

Okay.

Then there's another man there, a mysterious man.

White.

Gotta be.

A white guy who just moved to Arizona.

He has an underdeveloped hand.

Both of his hands?

No, just one of them.

One of his hands is a claw hand.

Not just claw.

It's just like a nub with just two fingers like

peace.

And they call him peace.

Because every time he waves, people think he's doing the peace thing.

Yeah, peace, man.

But he's just saying hi and bye.

Okay, I like it.

I like it.

He's got one leg much longer than the other one, so it's hard for him to.

Whoa.

Yeah, he kind of walks

a little.

Well, he's got good rhythm, to be honest.

Yeah, yeah.

That's why he's the one.

People can see this guy coming, too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you can hear his shoe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so this guy has it out for your mom because she's killing the table.

He's got his mortgage on the line.

He loses it.

He's waiting out for your mom by the car.

He's smoking a cigarette.

And he thinks, I'm going to rob her because she killed it tonight.

She made $50,000 cash.

This is making me so angry.

He tries to rob your mom, but he acts.

Oh, my God.

This makes me so angry.

I know.

What are you going to do?

Oh, my God.

Well, I'm setting you up.

What do you do now?

Did she die?

Yeah.

How?

He pushed her.

She fell.

Oh, that's it?

She's 100 years old.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, and then, so how do I know about it?

It breaks on the news.

In Arizona, an elderly.

W456.

Welcome back to the evening hour.

Tonight, a woman was killed out at Talking Stick.

This is me watching it.

An elderly Chinese woman was killed tonight at Talking Stick after playing Paigal.

Her name,

Bobby Mom.

That's good.

She was murdered.

She was killed in the parking lot of the Talking Stick Casino.

This is the suspect on the run.

Poof.

Photo up.

You see where he is.

He's He's somewhere in rural Northern Arizona.

What does this photo look like?

He's leaning.

Well, it's Peace.

We know what he looks like.

He's seen last in Flagstaff Northern Arizona.

His name is Doug Peace McGovern.

Doug Peace McGovern.

If you have any information about him, please call the Arizona hotline.

The first thing I would do is call my brother.

Not you.

Wow.

Because you're not going to help me murder.

I think you're grossly underestimating what I would do for you.

I really think you are.

But I bet that's fine.

No, no, don't change your mind.

I'll call you.

If you don't want my help when you kill somebody, don't fucking call me.

No, go to prison with me because we could do the pod in prison.

Really bad friends.

Bad friends live from LA County Jail.

Yeah, yeah.

And in the middle of the show, some guy's like, you boys ready for you?

Ready for lunch?

I'm like, yes, sir.

Yeah.

I call you.

Ding, ding.

Ring, ring.

Hey, Bob.

What's going on?

Are you okay?

My mother was murdered.

My mother was murdered.

Your mother was murdered?

Yeah.

It was was just on KT, whatever.

Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry.

I think his name is Peace

McGovern or something.

Are you telling me Peace McGovern did this?

How do you the fuck do you know Peace McGovern did it?

He killed my mother.

That's it.

I'm coming over.

Yeah, what did he do to your mother?

Oh, yeah, I remember.

I hung up.

I know, but whenever you hang up,

I don't talk.

No, I keep talking because, you know, you hang up too early.

I do it.

And I want to keep talking.

I spend hours after you hang up.

I hang up so fast on everybody.

I always love to hang up fast.

Listen, what are you doing now?

You're calling your brother.

Be real.

You call your brother.

I call my brother, and my brother already is going to be livid, like out of his mind.

Yeah, of course.

Somebody's going to be.

I go, pick me up.

He picks me up.

We'll go straight to Arizona.

You're going to drive or fly.

If the cops can't find him, how am I going to find him?

Do you have to take revenge in your own hands?

Have you never seen Taken?

Have you never seen Tenkan?

Yeah, but I don't know how to do any of that.

I show up to this crime scene in the back of what chopsticks casino what is it chopsticks casino yeah yeah yeah and i'm wandering around i go and there's the the yellow tape yeah you know my brother and i have flashlights you come well it's the lights are on but i mean you can have flashlights if you want we have to have flashlights well the lights are on i have to have a pad you should have a pad yeah yeah a legal notepad yeah yeah and um

I'm dressed like um you right now you're not changing I have to change you do yeah you're gonna buy a suit no I I have to

change like Sherlock Holmes.

Like, 17th century English attire.

Beautiful.

Hello.

Hello.

I'm here.

You know what I mean?

We have notes, flashlights, and then it's like, what am I?

I don't have the technology to get fingerprints.

That's.

Let's say that you did find him.

Okay, good.

How do you kill him?

Guy that kills your mother.

Okay, good.

How do you find him?

We find out his address.

Well, how do you kill him?

Oh, my God.

What do you do?

Well, first of all, I'm going to have to have a conversation with my brother.

You can use that Chinese water torture kit I bought

finally

come to use?

I was saying to my brother, Steve, all right, I know you're going to, I don't know why you have the machete, but

I go, we want to torture him.

Yeah, you got to slowly torture him.

Don't just go swinging.

No.

You know what I mean?

No.

So what we'll do is we'll,

well, I'll tell you what we'll do.

We'll capture him.

Yeah, you got him.

I'm going to rent a warehouse somewhere.

Gilbert, Arizona.

That's a big.

I mean, right now the prices are through the roof, but yeah, it's fine.

I would spend every dollar that i have how many square feet are we talking in this warehouse i don't know about square feet but probably 500 by nine

500 feet by nine feet yeah okay yeah it's an odd layout narrow but i do like it it's very narrow it's a very

long hallway 500 by 9 is a long hallway yeah because there's gonna be a lot of running back oh he's not oh you're gonna make him run back and forth this is actually very smart yeah yeah yeah yeah

500 by 9 500 by 9 if anybody can please draw this up this torture chamber that's 500 feet by nine feet.

Also, actually very intelligent because the 500 looks like there's hope down the road.

Yeah, yeah.

But the nine feet is only, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

So he can, he's got a little bit of space.

Well, no, but the 500 fluctuates.

It gets shorter as we go.

No, it's like one of those.

Remember, like in Star Wars, the trash can machine, the

garbage, yeah.

It closes in?

Yeah.

Like that.

That's what it kind of looks like.

Yeah, yeah, it closes in and out.

That would give you nightmares.

Nightmares, dude.

Like a long energy.

Neon lights, no windows, though.

And so what we'll have at the very end of that hallway right is a surgery surge surgical table oh a surgical table i'm gonna what

i i i i don't get it yet but i'm

a surgical table

i didn't get it so i was like oh yeah that's good why is that there yeah no i'm no doctor right neither but i will hire a black market right surge a surgeon

okay sure

and what we're gonna i'm gonna say to this guy i go i'm gonna pay you one million dollars

What?

You a million bucks to do what?

You'll see.

Oh, really?

Right.

We're going to knock him out, right?

And we're going to give him female genitalia.

Oh,

for free.

For free.

For free.

For free.

Yeah.

But he probably doesn't want it.

Maybe he does.

How funny he wakes up.

He's like, perfect.

Yeah.

It's exactly what I needed.

Wow.

I've been gambling so I can get the surgery.

This is the only reason I gambled.

I should have killed your mom.

I'm glad I killed your mom because now I get the surgery.

Now I have what I want.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you're going to remove his genitals.

I think you make him genital-less as a whole.

He has no.

Like a Barbie thing.

Yes, Barbie's a Kendall.

Right.

Or you can put anything as a genital replacement.

What could you put in?

No, that's good, but you know what's worse?

You give him no openings.

Right.

Oh, it just stitches.

So the P and the Poo, it just gathers inside of him.

Stitch him up.

Like a

pop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He just bloats into this poo piece.

It's a good horror

Stitch him up.

You're at the beginning of ethics.

Stitch him up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We have to force feed him.

Well, yeah, a tube.

And you blend it.

Through the throat.

Right.

Right?

Tube through the wet throat.

Can you imagine this doctor's like,

you guys got me doing way too much?

The doctor's.

No, he'll leave.

After the surgery.

I'm a black market doctor, but I have other stuff to do.

This is what I would say to him: Dr.

Mamalo.

Yeah, Malalalo.

Mamalalo.

Dr.

Malalalo.

Dr.

Mamalalo.

What is he from?

What?

Dr.

Mamalalo?

Somewhere in the eastern northern region.

I'll tell you that right now.

Somewhere northeast.

From a different place.

Dr.

Mamalalo.

Yeah, yeah.

And I say, just

put the tube in.

I know you did the bottom surgery.

Thank you for that.

Thank you so much.

Here's the money, right?

Just put the tube, but just let me know how to put the food into the tube.

How funny when it breaks, you have to call him.

You're like, Dr.

Mamalalo.

Yeah, yeah.

The tube is disconnected.

You're going to have to come back to that.

Yeah.

And so then once he, then we'll just, he leaves, and then my brother and I, for like a week, we'll just be feeding him.

Wow.

And watching him.

Until he pops.

Eventually he's going to pop.

He'll pop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're going to film the pop and put it on IG?

TikTok, yeah.

Yeah, TikTok, that.

Yeah, yeah.

But what do you think of that?

I think it's a great torture.

And I would support you.

Unfortunately, I'm.

All right, let's go to you now.

If somebody killed my mom.

Can I give you the scenario?

Go for it.

I know you're already building one up.

Right.

Your stepdad's out of town.

Business trip.

Yeah, well, he's retired, but yeah, I got it.

He goes back.

He unretires.

Yeah, he unretires.

He gets a job job he can't refuse.

He gets a job.

What is the job?

What?

What are you doing?

It's some sort of repair job.

I know he's not good at that.

He loves repairs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's like a plumbing,

lighting, electrical stuff.

Big electrical guy.

Yeah, it's a bunch of stuff.

And they're like,

we'll give you 500 grand.

Jump out.

One day at work.

We'll fly you out first class.

Wow, got to do it.

But here's the tick kicker.

Uh-oh.

It's not even real.

It's the killer luring your stepdad away.

It's a ruse.

It's a ruse.

Wow.

He shows up in Louisville airport, right?

No one's there to pick him up.

Right.

Meanwhile, your mom's alone at the house.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

And there's a man that comes in.

What is he doing?

He's doing, he's dancing.

I'll tell you that.

He dances into the house.

I'm so sorry to say.

It's pretty bold.

Yeah.

He does like a MC hammer dance.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And he has a tomahawk.

Ooh.

Is he native or is this?

No.

Oh, this is really

disrespectful.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's very disrespectful.

Right.

That's what

cultural appropriate murder.

Yeah, yeah.

Cultural inappropriate murder.

Right.

And unfortunately, he throws the tomahawk

at your mom's leg.

Mom's leg just slices right off.

She's screaming.

Then he makes a makeshift tourniquet.

Oh, no.

And then, so she doesn't bleed out.

Oh, he helps her.

Just to do more torture.

Oh, no.

Then he has some sort sort of medieval mallet.

My guy just pushed your mom down.

Your mom just broke her hip and died in the parking garage talking stuff.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Jesus, get it over with.

All right.

Just let me do one last part.

No.

Anyway, mallet.

Pop, pop, pop, pop on the head.

Anyway,

so then you get a call from the cop.

Chicago cops.

Yeah.

Hey, we found a murderer over there in your mother's house.

What would you do?

Your fatter's out of town.

We got to go, though.

We got dinner.

What would would you do?

Ooh.

I mean, I definitely would take it into my own hands if anybody hurt anybody in my family.

You would.

If you caught the guy, what would you?

Let's just get the catch.

So catch.

You got to catch first.

You can't kill because kill is too weak.

You got to catch the guy in your head.

Look at what I did.

I know.

You know what I mean?

So I'd cut off his feet.

Oh, that's always a good one.

Little nubby guy.

Yeah, yeah.

And then every single day goes by, I'd cut off each finger.

So each finger slowly gets cut off.

Can I have all the limbs?

Yeah, I've got to save them for it.

It's arts and crafts.

Yeah, yeah.

Bobby's waiting on the face.

I'll do something.

I'm waiting on a FedEx.

He's like, Andrew's FedEx is still not here.

Yeah, yeah.

I did two day.

Why would you ship me limbs two day?

I didn't, I couldn't.

Same day was expensive.

Oh, so

packet and ice.

And then, and here's what I do: cut off his little finger.

Oh, packet and ice.

Yeah, you think I'm good.

I cut off his little, cut off a finger a day, cut off his feet, so he's got nubbies.

And then eyes,

eyes gone.

That's always good.

Eyes absolutely gone.

How do you put them out?

With a spoon?

Ooh, hot spoon?

Hot stove spoon?

That's good.

Hot stove spoon.

Hot stove spoon.

Scoop it right out.

Scoop them out.

Do you want the eyes or should I throw them away?

Keep the eyes.

Keep.

I'll keep the eyes.

Keep the eyes.

Ooh, an ice cream scooper.

Ice cream scooper is better.

It's perfect.

And then you fill it with pistachio ice cream.

Each of his eyes is pistachio ice cream.

I'm just throwing it out there.

Well, in case I have it.

Maybe Rocky Road pistachio.

Right.

Oh, my God.

So good.

Yeah.

And then.

You know, he'd be freaky.

He'd be like, what the fuck?

You know what I mean?

And then I have a trip.

It would drip.

It would be so itchy.

It's itchy

and just the coldness of the ice cream in his sockets.

And he can't itch it out because his nubs can't.

And then I have to cut out his tongue.

So he really can't say much.

Keep the tongue.

Nope.

Cut it gone.

He can't say anything.

And he's got you.

Ship that.

I'm shipping the tongue.

And then I'm going to get a tattoo artist, one of the best in the world.

Yeah, I'm going to get like Dr.

Wu or somebody incredible.

Yeah.

You know?

Caffon D, maybe.

Sure, Caffon D.

And they're going to tattoo all over his chest in an unbelievable amount of racial epithets.

Like, you know, like a swastika, the N-word all over him, just like the most foul stuff all over his body.

I hate blacks, right on his chest.

You could go further.

You can.

And then I'm going to drop him off like in diehard, right, just like that.

So he has no way to speak or walk or tell everybody what's going on.

And I'm going to drop him off in the middle of the worst neighborhood in the world that I can find and let them eat him alive slowly but surely.

Oh.

He'll never make it out.

But

I'm also not killing him.

And here's why.

Why?

Because

you want someone to be able to have vengeance because then that's a good movie.

that's a good second movie if he comes back for me now it's a film

well well he has no eyes they thought they killed me and there's no nubs on his feet and no tongue

they thought they kill me

wow

imagine if he's tongueless yeah and he comes back for me yeah that's another that's a second movie yeah like old boy just like old boy it's like old boy just like old boy wow what's a good idea dude we got really dark and deep there i'm so sorry me too i hope no one ever hurts anybody that we love no

but no no we'll never do that but we will kill you if you mess with our mom Yeah, just

I think, I think people can relate.

I think that's a no-go.

Your mom is the one.

You can't touch the mom.

Dad, fine.

Dad,

dad.

No.

Yeah.

No, no one.

Sibling is bad, too.

But just something about your mom, because it's your mom.

Oh, my mom.

It's your mommy.

Oh, my.

The helplessness.

You see me, my mom's 80, and she's just laying there, you know what I mean?

Oh, alone.

Oh, my God.

It makes me so angry.

Oh, there she is.

Oh, there she is.

The sweet, sweet lady.

Yes, what a sweet lady.

Okay, good.

Put it.

Hold on.

Pull that up again.

Was there two cameras taking pictures of her?

What do you mean?

Well, she's looking one way and then the other way.

It feels like there were two cameras.

Okay, good.

She didn't know which camera to look at, is what it kind of looks like.

Can I tell you something?

So one camera was dead on, the other one was to the left.

Can I tell you something?

This is something you don't know, and I can call your mom, right?

So when my mom was.

All right.

Can I be honest?

You started that whole war three years ago.

So my mother, when she was seven seven or eight years old, right, she had chronic pneumonia.

Okay.

She got pneumonia all the time.

Yeah.

No, but she had this one sickness where her left eye,

the pupil went all the way, so you couldn't even see it.

What do you mean?

The pupil went like out of it.

It was fucked up by her face so bad her eye went into her fucking...

What?

Yeah.

It was like that when she moved to America.

But also growing up in Korea.

That's why it's the best country in the world.

They're fixed now almost.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

So when she,

as a kid, was teased and bullied because of that eye.

She was?

Yeah, yeah.

Like chronically.

It was bad.

Well, thanks.

I'm glad it's.

And then the crux.

And then, I know, and then let me finish, right?

She comes to America, and my dad had a little bit of money.

And when she met him, he got that eye fixed.

He said, I'm going to fix your eye.

Yeah, so that's now the result of it.

You can make fun of her all you want.

I do, yeah.

I know.

Yeah.

Well, you make fun of me too.

You make fun of my mom, too.

Yeah, but your mom's perfect.

That's exactly right.

Yeah.

No,

your mom got it all fixed out, and I'm glad that it.

No, but you still make fun of her eye.

I have to.

And it's fucking crazy.

Well, I have to.

It's insane.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I have to.

I'm Bobby Mom all the time.

In fact, I go out in public, probably 10 times a day, that's been mentioned.

And then you got to go, haha, right?

But your face is not really that happy.

Your eye, look at the eye.

You're like,

good.

I get it.

I get it every day.

I didn't know when I was.

That's not your mom.

By proxy, it is.

And I love her.

I love her dearly.

Yeah, anyway.

I can't believe you never told me that story about your mom's eye.

Unless it's fucking bullshit.

It's not bullshit.

That's true.

You do bullshit stuff like that.

It's 100% real that that happened.

I mean, it's very traumatic for her.

Well, it's terrible then.

Why didn't you say that when we started joking about it years ago?

Because we were a comedy show, and I thought you meant well, but now you keep digging and digging at my eye.

He brings up the photo.

You did that.

Yeah, yeah.

You're like, look at that eye one way.

And I'm just telling you, dude.

Oh, we love your mother.

I'm the one that flew her out to see you.

Yeah.

Bring in a student.

Let's see if we got a student that we want to chat with.

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Okay, I had oatmeal.

An oatmeal subscription?

Yeah, I swear to God.

Just coming to your house.

I had oatmeal coming for months, like nine months in a row, stacked, right?

And I had to go to Rocket Money.

And that's where I found the discrepancy.

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This looks it could be my little sister.

Yeah.

It could be your daughter.

We have the Weasley jeans.

Not my daughter.

She's 20 years old.

Yeah, you're 40.

Fuck, I am.

Yeah.

You could have had her when you were 20.

22.

I'm 42.

Yeah, yeah.

Shit, dude.

You could have been.

How old are you?

21.

Wow, that could have been my kid.

Yeah.

Your daughter.

It could have been my daughter.

Yeah.

Where's your mom?

Do you know your mom and dad?

I do know them.

Okay.

Thank God.

Talk closer into the mic and put you want the earphones on?

Yeah.

This is Quinnipiac, isn't it?

Quinnipiac.

Quinnipiac.

What would you go to Quinnipiac for?

Media Studies or something?

Film.

Film.

Yeah.

You want to be a director?

No.

Okay.

Actress?

No.

No.

Writer?

No.

Keep guessing.

Producer.

No.

Rigger.

No.

Keep going.

What'd you call her?

A rigger.

Sorry.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No.

What?

You can't?

Rigger.

You don't know what rigor is?

You rigs.

You don't know fucking rigor?

Yeah.

A grip.

No.

You want to be.

Oh, I know.

I do know.

What?

Wardrobe.

No.

Makeup.

Makeup.

Hair.

You guys are missing the other big one.

I feel like you're getting producer, writer, director,

actor.

Huh?

Editor.

Editor.

Oh, my, that was a good one.

It's funny funny because we don't value them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's the, he is.

You want to edit things.

That's awesome.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're the best.

So you don't mind being locked up in a small dark room?

No, I prefer it.

I like when they like, everyone goes on set and they like deal with all the chaos and then they send it to me and then I sit by myself and I do it.

You like that?

You like that?

I prefer that, yeah.

What's your name?

Emma.

Emma.

Emma.

Emma is here.

You're from Connecticut?

I'm from Boston.

Boston, Massachusetts.

Boston, Connecticut.

Boston, Connecticut.

She goes from Boston, but goes to Quinn Piac in Connecticut.

Okay.

Which we visited, your beautiful campus.

Yes, it's lovely.

It's a nice little, yeah.

It's all right.

What do you think of LA?

What do you think of L.A.?

So, Emma,

have you gone to any nice restaurants?

Have you experienced L.A.

at all in a fun way?

Like, yes, but no.

We've explored downtown a lot.

We've gone to all the touristy areas, and my internship is in Beverly Hills.

So, like, that's the only nice part that I've seen.

Didn't I give one of your students money so they can have dinner?

Yeah, that's a good idea.

I think we're going to do that.

I think I might do that tonight.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They keep coming because as a group, they should.

They know you might give them money.

Yeah, yeah.

Emma, so the dream is to be an editor.

And

you know that this guy edits this show, this little The Fancy, and he does a very good job.

Do you watch?

Have you ever seen this show before?

I've seen parts of it, yeah.

Yeah, parts of it.

That means TikTok.

Yes, that is.

I know what that means.

That means TikTok.

We're big with kids on TikTok.

Yeah.

It's like I don't have the attention span to watch like anything, really.

Right.

Well, you're an editor, so you spend time watching other shit.

Exactly.

I'm the same, too.

I don't watch whole things, including this show.

I've never seen the show.

But that's not, you do watch whole things.

You watch films all the time.

Yeah, but if I'm not a part of it, I'll watch it.

Right.

She's not a part of this.

The fuck are you talking about?

Young people her age don't watch anything anymore now.

Yeah.

Okay.

They don't like anything.

You don't watch film.

I like I do, but I feel like films are getting longer.

See?

Oh, my God.

They don't want to watch anything.

Are you talking about?

And they're actually probably getting shorter.

I bet you like.

They feel like they're getting shorter.

Popular ones lately have been.

Have you seen Dr.

Javago?

That's like four hours long.

They're getting, statistically, they're getting longer on average.

Oh, wow.

You're right.

Weird.

And I'm not the only one.

It's not like I, like, I have ADHD, but it's not just me.

Well, look at that.

They were around 90 minutes in the 30s, and then it went up to about 130 minutes, peaked out in the 60s.

Then it dipped in the 80s and the 90s, which I love.

The 90, 90-minute, you know, whatever.

And back in the 90s, the comedies that were 100 minutes, perfect, you know.

But they are peaking, yeah.

But then right now, we're peaking.

No, we're kind of on average.

We're actually going back down, technically.

So, so boo-hoo.

Sit around.

Do enjoy a movie.

I do enjoy a movie.

What's the last movie you saw?

I feel like the group of us watched something recently.

Oh, we watched Pitch Perfect, which is nice.

Brand new movie just came out 15 years ago.

Emma.

Pitch Perfect?

Well, it was on cable.

We have like the TVs in our rooms.

This is going to make me sad.

She's going to keep telling me how awful this place is.

Awful.

It sounds like a prison.

It's nice.

You guys have no money.

Yeah.

Well, I'm going to rub it in.

I need internship right now.

They're 20 years old.

They're in school.

Yeah.

It's tough.

I don't remember.

So, like, you have a bank account?

Yeah.

Okay.

Do your parents help you?

Bank account?

I don't know what the fucking deal is, dude.

Sorry for swearing.

She has a bank account.

Okay.

She can still.

Do you ever call your parents like, I need money?

No.

And they never give you money.

They, like, will offer it sometimes, but I don't like to take it.

Wow, you're one of those.

Are you making your own money now?

Yeah.

You are.

I mean, at this exact moment, no, because my internship's unpaid, but I've like.

Unpaid in internship was always the biggest scam of all time by Hollywood.

We all did it, but it's insane.

Yeah, they're like, You do the same amount of work, but you don't get any of the money.

And you're like, When do I get the money?

They're like, If we want to give it to you, that's crazy.

McCone's been on an unpaid internship for a couple years now.

That's pretty wild.

Do you enjoy working for them?

Yeah.

Are you cutting?

Are you prepping and stuff?

What are you doing?

No, I'm doing like a lot of interney like duties, which is like running the social media and stuff, but they're letting me like work on like giving like feedback on the trailers and stuff.

It's really like good.

It's worth it to have the experience.

It's just hard living in LA because it's so expensive to not be making money.

Yeah.

do you see yourself living here no

or New York so you're gonna go to New York she's an East Coast kid you're East Coast I like it here I wouldn't stay here long term I'd live here for like a couple years

yeah

yeah exactly what yes people from the east coast are so delusional and crazy

can I let me make my piece here yeah all right LA is the best city in the world I believe yeah I don't think I don't think it's the best city in the world what do you think it is Madrid's What's the best city in the world?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Madrid's pretty great.

In the United States.

Well, that's not the world.

Okay, Alexis.

Best city in the U.S.?

Yeah.

New York's up there.

New York is way up there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chicago is way up there.

Yeah.

New York's beautiful.

All right.

Chicago's good.

Look at how gorgeous it is.

But here's what...

It's the weather.

The weather is the best here.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

San Francisco should not be on there.

Look at all that poop.

San Francisco is still great.

No, I love it.

Yeah, yeah.

It's poop island.

Great restaurants.

But

L.A., I just, I can't.

You'll never move.

I can't.

You won't let me.

I want to.

I know.

Very hard.

You're staying here.

It's the hardest thing in the world.

Whenever I said this the other day to my wife, whenever you fly here when you're coming back from the East Coast and you get to Colorado, they're like, it's going to be bumpy over the Rockies.

It always is.

And then they go, all right, strap in your seatbelts and we've got about two hours left.

You're like, two fucking hours?

Yeah.

We just did two hours.

We got to do it again.

Yeah.

We're too far.

Yeah.

That's my biggest problem with this place.

It's way too far.

Not from Hawaii.

Five hours.

It's far from everyone.

Okay.

All of the country is that way.

Everybody's that way.

Not my people.

You don't.

I'm your people.

Hawaii, dude.

Have you been to Hawaii?

No, I wish.

What?

Have you ever been on a vacation, a nice vacation?

Yeah.

Would you with your parents?

Yeah.

Where'd you guys go?

Puerto Rico.

I would say it's the best.

I've been.

It's an island of garbage.

That was really dead on.

Do you know who that was?

Vaguely.

It was a comic 28th.

He joked around and called it an island of garbage during the.

What was that?

I don't even know what that was.

It was

MGA.

It was a rally.

He called it an island of garbage.

It was a joke.

He was

at the Island of Garbage.

The Square Garden.

That's the Square Garden.

Hulk Hogan was on it.

Island of Garbage, Brother.

Yeah, yeah.

So

your dream is to become an editor,

have a family maybe one day?

I do.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, you're 21, so like life is so bright now.

There's nothing getting

so free.

I wish you could like, you know what I mean, like borrow people's bl younger people's blood.

If you stick around Hollywood long enough, you'll just get it.

Right?

You know, just give you a couple more extra years.

That's why everybody's getting kicked off the air because they're all blood drinkers.

They're all blood drinkers.

I love that that's like a real thing.

That people rumor this, that they're like, they're drinking blood of babies.

Yeah.

I've run into people that said that.

that's what the Hollywood Reservoir is for.

I know there's a cabal, you know, and you guys are a part of a cult.

I go, really?

Mild.

Yeah, and they go, but and I always ask, Am I in it?

They're like, no, I don't think you're in it.

Right?

And then I go, then I'll ask, like, but what about so-and-so?

No.

But then you get to a point like, what about Bill Burr?

Yeah.

And they're like,

because he's that famous.

Yeah, but I'm like, yeah, he would never do that.

That's what you think.

Dude, baby blood is warm.

Give me fucking warm baby blood.

Dude, I sit down for me.

Guys, give me fucking warm baby blood at noon.

Do you know who Bill Burr is?

Yeah, that was.

Do you like stand-up comedy?

Yeah, I watch it sometimes.

We saw your show.

That was really good.

What show?

At the comedy store.

Oh, you guys went to a live show.

Yeah, they came down to the main room.

Oh, you guys saw that?

Yeah, it was awesome.

Who was not good?

I don't want to say that.

But Dax's flame.

Well, bleep it up.

Don't make her feel that way.

All right.

Dax Flame was so good.

We love Dax.

That was hilarious.

I didn't see it coming.

Emma, so we know your dreams.

We know your hopes.

Yeah.

You're 21 and you're living in the arguably the most uncomfortable part of Los Angeles.

In terms of walking around at night, you don't feel safe.

Do you?

No.

Yeah, please don't walk around at night.

Yeah.

We just met, but I really do.

The things I have seen being here, just like what?

It's been two weeks, maybe three.

Yeah, it's crazy.

And like, I'll look out on my balcony.

Like, I saw, like, I saw someone with one leg, like, throwing scooters at people.

Oh, that's Caleb.

Yeah, Caleb.

I love that guy.

He's actually very sweet.

There is a guy kind of near here that throws e-bikes into the L.A.

River.

Yeah.

And then the fire department was there yesterday, and I talked to the guy, and I talked to the firefighter.

I was like, what are you guys doing?

They had a hose out, and they were training.

He was doing hose training exercises, like unplugging, plugging, and they were shooting into the L.A.

River.

And I go, what are you guys doing?

He goes, training.

And I go, what's up with all those bikes?

He goes, dude.

The more we take out, the more they keep putting in.

So we're not doing it anymore.

Wow.

Because these homeless guys, they throw, they they find him and they throw them in the la river yeah look that's them they just do they just huck them over the side like scooters and stuff e-bike scooters they'll throw why because they're homeless and they're upset and they're yeah right that's we're right there by frogtown wow dude it's i the literally the the firefighter was like we stopped taking them out because we would have to take them out it's a pain and then tom the next day there'd be four more in there wow there's a homeless taking a stand against e-bikes he had no leg yeah he only had one leg he was in a wheelchair i I don't know how he was throwing them.

He's throwing them far, too.

He's throwing them like at people.

He didn't reach them.

They didn't reach them, but they got good strength, those one-leggers.

Just like the guy that murdered your mom.

Peace.

That's right.

That guy was a bad boy.

Maybe this could be the same guy.

Maybe.

Also,

there's a robot that's been stuck in my neighborhood.

They weren't allowed forever.

You know, the ones that self-deliver?

I love those guys.

They all have names.

Yeah, this one's Kenny.

Oh, Kenny.

And he's been stuck at a light pole in my neighborhood.

And I don't know what to do.

But honestly, the sun is roasting him all all day.

Yeah.

And it's dying now.

The lights are dying on it.

It is like Wally, dude.

It is like Wally.

Good.

I love the eyes that they put in.

Well, look.

It helps.

But they blink.

Yeah, they blink.

They do blink.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the eyes are slowly dying.

I can tell it's dying.

And I want to help it.

And I always say hi.

I don't know why.

Yeah, you say hello.

I don't know if they go in front of me.

Yeah, me too.

And I go, hi.

I like how they stop really abruptly when they don't know what's in front of me.

And I always go, I'm sorry.

Like, it doesn't fucking know.

No, it does know.

You think it does?

Well, it's recording everything at all times that someone someone's watching back some of that footage i don't like those things i put shit in front of them or juke them out you're a bull you're a full

they're taking jobs from real people no they're not dude you don't have to tip them these robots out of here someone had to program it fix it yeah upkeep that's three jobs and that lost 50 people delivery jobs you're an oppressor you're an oppressor

that's how they felt like robots are oppressing us when immigrants started coming to america they viewed it like that's code that's code immigrants

How is that not an immigrant?

Yeah, yeah.

Does he have a sense of being a

sentient being?

His name is Jamie.

He's not an immigrant.

It's Jaime.

Imagine if ICE starts busting these boxes

today on KTLA.

Today, ICE takes down Jamie.

Jaime.

Please, no, just delivering food.

Please, please, please, please.

Nice try, Jamie.

On the fucking grouch.

Shooting that thing up.

Yeah.

Bad.

Are there Waymos in Boston?

No, I've never seen one until I came to to LA.

No, when you saw one, if people don't know, a Waymo is a driverless car.

Self-driver, driverless car.

It's Uber without a driver.

It's a car.

It just drives you.

They suck.

Did it shock you when you saw it or not?

It did.

I saw them at first and I just thought they were like weird-looking cars.

And then I looked in and there's no one in there.

You know the bad news about this, right?

Because we're valley boys.

We live here in the valley.

They're coming to the fucking valley by next year.

But you know, they're mapping it out right now, so it's happening.

I wanted it only in the city.

Fine.

What's up with your fucking shit against oppressing fucking robots?

Taking jobs from people.

I was a driver.

I was a FedEx driver.

I support drivers and the working man.

Yeah, you're the working man.

You quit after like a month and a half.

How long did you do it?

Well, I worked till I got my unpaid internship and I had to take all my FedEx savings and drive out here.

All right.

With the same car.

Let's go back to Emma.

I'm not into it.

Emma, do you like

a guy like Coney is close in your age?

Is this kind of guy, someone, if you saw him, would you trust him at a party?

Would you go, I like this guy?

He seems trustworthy.

If you saw him, I mean, do you want honesty on that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The mustache is always a little

iffy.

Yeah, right.

But so far, you seem fine.

He seems trustworthy.

But the mustache, at glance, go, what do you think?

You think Perv?

Abuser?

Not specifically him.

It's just the idea of that specific trustworthy.

Right, but he is wearing.

He's known for that.

Right.

Is he cute?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, wow.

Yeah, she has to.

Yeah, I do.

Why?

Because we're here.

It's, you know what I mean?

She doesn't want to hurt his feelings.

Okay, okay.

I think you are cute because I've had girls say McCone's cute.

Thank you, Emma.

I appreciate you.

I don't want to fuck you.

Don't give him anything.

Say thank you, Dan.

Thank you, Emma.

Emma, you're the best.

Thank you.

Give it up for Emma.

That's a round of applause.

Send in another victim.

Let's seek somebody else.

Emma, I hope you make it.

I know you will.

You can be great editors.

You're going to make it.

You're going to make it.

By the way, if we need more editors, right?

Yep.

When she comes out here, if we need one.

Well, you don't want to move to LA.

Hey, I can edit remote, and I'm willing.

I'm willing to live.

We could.

We seriously could use her if we need her for something.

All right, we'll talk to you, Emma.

Okay, Emma, thank you.

We need a guy.

Oh, wait, look at this guy.

Oh, shit.

We're getting two?

Two.

Yeah, we have two for one.

We have two for one.

Two for one.

All right, we're going to guess their names based on their appearance.

All right.

The guy's name is.

He looks Eastern European.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

He does look Eastern European, and his name is...

Toke.

Toque.

Toke.

T-O-K-E Toke.

You're Toke, dude.

And this young lady looks...

Yeah, yeah.

She looks like just an East Coast girl.

Willow.

Willow.

Willow or Willow?

or O Willow Willow with a Willow and I get Toque because you look very toque yeah yeah yeah and what's your real name Ben Close

and your name Sam Sam I was close Sam and uh

Sam and uh what's your name Ben no Toke I like Toke Toke's yeah all right Toke and Willow are here yeah and uh and you guys are Quinnipiak how old are you guys I'm 21 21 same and then you guys are on the graduate program yeah what do you want to do Toke um I want to find like stable income.

I think that'd be cool.

Oh, fuck These kids.

These kids these days, they want to work.

Yeah, but it's it's a it's a tough job job market.

I know I was being facetious.

Yeah, no, it is very hard.

I'm saying

I'm just thinking about Ben, you know.

No, no, Toke.

I get it.

I get it, Ben.

All I've been told is it's it's hard to, like, get a job.

So, you know.

And how has it been?

You know, I've just had internships.

What are you doing in the world of film?

I'm with seven Eckies right now.

Oh, you work with us?

I do.

What do you do?

You're interning?

Yeah, I'm the intern there, you know, like Richie.

I saw he was on the podcast the other day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Don't get any ideas, Toby.

Yeah, yeah.

You have thin fingers.

I like that.

Thank you.

Is that like a good thing?

It could be.

If you're Chopin.

Are yours?

Yeah, yeah.

We need you to pick a lock or something.

Yeah, yeah.

And how about you, Willow?

What do you aspire to be and do?

I've enjoyed producing.

That's been a lot of fun.

I've been a producer.

Yeah.

You kind of have a producer vibe.

You have a producer vibe.

You know why?

She's even keeled.

She's got that very balanced.

Anybody else?

But not a good one.

Like Kathleen Kennedy.

Oh, really?

Oh, yeah, yeah, like a whip.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

highway or the highway.

Secretly, she's she's insane.

Yeah.

Right now, it hasn't flourished yet, but you're going to be a bull.

Okay.

I'll take it.

That's you.

Do you have bully inside of you?

Can you be mean?

Um,

look at that face.

I ruined Star Wars.

I think I've like raised my voice that someone wants, like, not including like my brothers, because, of course, but um, yeah, sure.

Yeah, no, I don't, I don't like confrontation.

Okay.

I'm gonna have to get over that.

We're gonna learn.

All right, so you and I are working.

You're a producer.

Okay.

Him and I are on a film set.

You have to scold us.

Scold you.

He's a lighting guy, right?

And

we're behind schedule and I'm sound.

He's lighting.

And we're just chilling.

No, we're just in the back alleyway smoking.

You know what I mean?

Evie remember trees?

Yeah.

Right on that mud pot.

Man.

Excuse me, guys.

Yeah, what's up?

What's up, lady?

What's up, woman?

We don't have any more cigarettes, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, man.

You guys are done now.

If that's okay, we're going to go back inside.

We're going to do our job, and we're going to have a great day.

What?

What?

Yeah.

Who are you?

Who are you?

I'm the producer.

What producer?

I don't know.

I produced this film.

Oh, for the movie we're going to?

Yes, yes.

Top dog, top higher.

So I'm going to need you guys to come.

Top dog, that's you?

Yep, that's me.

That's me.

It's nice to meet you guys, but we got to get back in.

Yeah, well, you know what?

Hey, lady, can I just say something?

Please.

Yeah, thank you.

Go ahead.

We'll get there when we get there.

Yeah, we'll get to it.

I have your paycheck, so if you want that, you're going to have to come with me.

Oh, you're

extorting us.

Oh, you're threatening us.

Okay.

I could do this all day.

It's not your job.

Hold on.

We can do this all day, lady.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pretty good.

I got to go inside, man.

You should be more stern, though.

That was good.

Yeah, I'm going to have to work on it.

This is great practice, though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because you got to do it like

you got to talk like you're one of us.

So, like, look, I'll be the executive.

You be smoking.

You know?

Now, it's just you.

I'll show you.

Can Ben be in it?

Yeah, Toke can be in it.

Toque, you're in it.

You and Toke together.

I'm going to show you what to do.

All right.

You guys are

out back and you're on smoke break.

Hey, Toke.

Yeah, what's up, Bubby?

Fuck this project.

That's what I'm saying.

Right?

It sucks.

Fuck it.

Jake Jill and Hall.

Don't forget.

Hey, boys.

Hey, guys.

Guys, guys, guys.

How are you?

What's up, man?

We're smoking.

Oh, I know.

I know.

I love smoking.

Smoking's rad, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's fucking awesome.

Yeah, man.

Don't you want to smoke everywhere all the time?

Yeah, we do.

We also want our privacy.

Me too.

Back up.

Tell me about it.

Right?

Tell me about it.

Tell him.

Tell me, bro.

We're pretty like.

I told you to stand up for yourself, Toke.

Toke.

Tell him off.

Toke, that's his name?

Yeah, Tog.

Toke, you're fired.

So, Bobby, I'm going to need you back inside now, or you're fired as well.

You fired.

Yeah, I fired.

You see how quickly he got fired?

Oh, your fucking mouth.

You see how that's how you do it?

That's how you do it.

Yeah, you just bully him.

And you got it in you.

Okay.

All right, so bully us now.

Really fucking hit us hard.

Yeah, yeah.

I want you to fucking just make fun of us.

Stop that, though.

You have to.

You have to.

You're Kathleen Kennedy.

You're KK.

Let me say something.

This movie is $300 million.

$500 million.

Yeah, $500.

And, right?

We're behind schedule.

Tom Holland's waiting on set.

No.

Yeah.

And also, who else is that?

This is this one.

And

Tom Holland.

Tom Holland.

Huh?

And what's the kid from fucking...

Yeah.

I don't know anybody's names.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Timothy.

Zendaya.

Zendaya and Timothy Chalamet.

And Shalam.

They've been waiting for days.

Camera operators.

Right, we're ops.

We're supposed to be on.

We're supposed to be shooting.

Are you guys excited about this, though?

So we're smoking now.

Oh, okay.

My bad.

You know that producer?

What's that producer's name?

Who, Linda?

Whatever, that lady, that lady with the hair.

Oh, the little blonde.

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys.

Oh, here she is.

Here she is.

Can you put those down now?

No.

No.

Okay.

Okay.

Cigarette too.

Let's talk.

Let's tap cigarette.

I'm going to need you to do that, or I'm going to need you to leave.

Whoa, excuse me.

Excuse me.

Who are you?

I'm the producer.

What's your name?

My name's Sam.

What's your guys' name?

Tatana.

Sam, already.

Sam, you can't go up.

Yeah.

She went to the camera.

Sam.

She's very sweet.

You're not my friend.

You got to bully us.

Yeah.

You go, you don't need to know my friend.

Dude,

Sam, let me just put this into perspective, okay?

I need like a notepad.

Here's, I'm going to put you in the bag.

You need to ignore all of these notes.

This is bullshit.

You're Cleopatra, right?

Okay.

And we're just dudes building the pyramid.

God, that's so harsh.

What?

That's how you have to think, though.

I get it.

Right?

We're just one of...

20,000 people building a pyramid.

You're the queen of Egypt.

Yeah, you're the queen of Egypt.

No, no, no.

To me, everyone's on the same.

You're not going to be a producer then.

That's not right.

No pyramids will be built.

No pyramids are going to get built.

No pyramids are going to get barrel built.

You have to be a bull.

Yeah.

Now we'll do it again.

Do it again.

Again.

Right.

One more.

So it was.

You know who I can't stand?

What that?

That guy Toque that we used to work with.

Fuck.

Hey, guys.

He sucks.

Hey.

I think, hey, guys, is it wrong?

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys.

What's up?

Excuse me.

Is that better?

no no no guys listen up guys listen up i have my job back yeah actually okay if you guys don't put those down i'm hiring toque

yeah that's good that's good to really bad at his job you could have toque

but okay you gonna fire me yeah okay we'll just claim racial discrimination

how are you claiming that oh toque

you see any other redheads on set toque yeah emma

is my editor actually she's in this she's in studio

she's not Oh, she's on set?

She's on set.

My daughter's on set.

Yeah.

M-Dog.

Listen, you're going to be a producer.

You're going to be a great producer.

Thank you.

I actually really like it out here and with school because I'm trying a lot of different things.

So it's really great experience all around.

And Toke, I got to tell you something.

Yeah.

Be careful out there.

I will.

Why are you saying that to him?

Because I want to say the same thing.

You can feel something.

He's a little troublemaker.

He's a little bit

stay careful.

why do you think i'm a troublemaker well you wore a jacket and it's 96

and that was a little dead giveaway that something's afoot and i i don't know what it is but i thought to came in here with a jacket it couldn't be hotter outside literally normally very cool in like the building so i want like it's at seven it's cold and i'm telling another thing toke your face is very peaky blinders peaky blinders peaky blinders hello toke yeah like a hood rat from England.

Yeah.

Can you do a British accent, Toke?

I don't think so.

Try.

That's you, dude.

Toke, say uh, what should I say?

That type of where uh, where's the party tonight?

Where's the party tonight?

That's pretty good, pretty good, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Paul E.

Very good, Paul E.

Where's the party tonight?

Embody that character right now, Toke.

What are you trying to do again in the business?

I forget.

Yeah, embody that guy.

Uh,

I look to do like marketing, advertising, advertising, yeah, very good.

All right, so sell me this, sell me this show.

Um, you know, you got Killian Murphy, it's a pretty big name right there.

That's a great

star.

Can I just say something?

Yeah, I mean, we're a production company.

You don't open with whoever's starring it.

We need to know what the project is.

What's the project?

Okay, so it's about these British guys, and it's not in the modern day.

It's like, I don't know what time period it is.

Okay, stop.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Can we have a little meeting?

Yeah.

He doesn't know that there's another time period.

Interesting.

He could just make it up and lie to us.

They're gangsters.

I know that.

Oh, we're listening.

We like gangsters.

We're listening.

Yeah, we love British gangsters.

Yes.

Criminal activities.

They do criminal activities.

Time period could it be in the future?

No, it's like in the past.

Oh, it is.

Yeah, no, it's how far into the past?

How far?

Let's say the 1920s, 1940s, maybe.

1920s or 40s.

Big gap.

Big gap.

Somewhere in that 20s.

1920 to 1940.

Oh, you do a lot of time jumps.

Yeah, we need.

Oh, time jumps.

Okay.

And now the show takes place in where?

London.

In central London?

In 1920?

1920.

Is that right?

I don't know.

Dude, you got to pitch it.

You lied.

But it does take place in central London in 1920.

Very good.

Very good, Toke.

You already lost the room.

Yeah, it's over.

Yeah, yeah.

I'll pitch you this show.

Okay.

Ready?

No, pitch.

No.

Pitch me a different show.

Okay.

That you make up.

Oh, that I make a new show?

Yeah.

All right, to all you guys are the executives?

Yeah.

Thanks for having me today, guys.

It's great to be here.

How's everyone?

Good.

Hello.

Hi, how are you?

Good evening.

Oh, good evening.

My name is Skip Libowowski.

Mr.

Lubowowski, it's wonderful to meet you and your constituents over there.

Introduce yourselves, please.

Hi, I'm Willow.

Hi, Willow.

Your last name, Willow?

My last name?

Yeah.

What is it?

I feel like we're familiar.

Maybe we met Willow.

What's your last name?

Willow Evergreen.

Willow Evergreen.

Willow Evergreen, anyway.

Sir, what's your name?

Sir.

Toka.

Toka.

Smith.

Toka.

Toka.

Toka Smith.

Toka Toka.

Toka Smith.

He also stutters.

Anyway, anyway.

I I will say, Toka, I do appreciate the fact that your parents being very Anglo-Smithians, giving you a unique name.

I like that.

He's Bulgarian.

Oh, he's Bulgarian.

Let's move on.

So I have a movie.

What's the movie, sir?

Do you guys like you?

Who reps you?

Huh?

Who reps you?

Unrepped.

You're unrepped.

Yeah.

How'd you get a meeting?

Toka, how did you get a meeting with Willow?

I didn't schedule him.

Willow, did you schedule this guy?

He has no reps.

How did he get a meeting with us?

Well, your assistant read my script that I sent in and loved it.

You did, Willow?

Yeah.

Yeah, no.

I thought he had something, and I figured he should.

Miss Evergreen wrote it.

Really?

Yeah.

Unbelievable, because you bumped Aaron Sorka in front of him.

He's still out there in the hallway.

I know.

Anyway, go ahead.

You guys like Girl Scout cookies?

We love Girl.

We've been talking about doing a Girl Scout cookie movie.

And what's your favorite flavor?

The Mint.

The Mint one.

The Mint one, yeah.

Okay.

I like the peanut butter one.

You do.

Yeah.

Willow, shut the fuck up.

Willow, shut the fuck up.

The movie I'm pitching is called Thick Mints.

Okay.

Not Thin Mints.

And it's about a

Girl Scout leader, a very beautiful, sexy, thick woman

who

trains young Girl Scout women to kill men

who have done her wrong.

It's almost like

it's a female empowerment film.

And all the while they're selling cookies to make money to fuel their revenge on all these men that have done them wrong.

Oh my God.

It's pretty great.

You like it?

They're young children that murder.

No, no, they're Girl Scouts, but they're all grown women women by this point.

Now they're just avenging their death through the Girl Scouts.

So they trained the children to kill?

Mm-hmm.

I don't know if that's going to mark it well.

Why Togo?

Toka, express yourself.

Why?

Interesting.

Well, you know, I don't think that's going to appeal to the general audience, like child neglect.

Well, I like it.

Yeah, so.

This is Hollywood at its finest.

Yeah, yeah.

This is Hollywood.

One guy in the room.

Intern, shut the fuck up.

We like it.

Yeah, we like it.

By the way, great movie.

It's a great movie.

movie.

Very good.

The Girl Scouts are trained to take revenge on men who have done them wrong.

Amazing.

All right, well, we'll say thank you to Toke and thank you to Willow.

You guys are fucking amazing.

We love you.

Give it up for these guys.

Join the others.

Do we want to take one more for fun?

Two more in general.

Oh, get him over here.

Get him in here.

Yeah, get him in here.

Guys, you guys are the best.

Thank you.

And good luck on everything.

Thank you.

Hello.

You're going to be Capote the rest of the time?

What's your name?

Oh, wait, let's guess.

Hold on.

Yeah.

Her name is.

Slavankia.

Slavanka.

Slavanka.

And his name is.

Tweet.

Tweet.

Tweet.

Tweet.

Slavankia and Tweet.

Yes.

And your real names are?

JJ.

JJ?

Oh, JJ.

When we said tweet, I don't like your reaction.

Got a little defensive there.

What does JJ stand for?

Jeffrey Jr.

Jeffrey Jr.

Because your father's Jeff.

That's true.

That's the big J.

You're little J.

Half Vulcan.

What?

Half Vulcan.

You have a Vulcan-y vibe.

Kids got great teeth.

Kids got great teeth.

Great lips.

Yeah.

Is that weird to say?

Yes.

Okay.

I mean, no, if he has nice lips, if he's paying him a compliment, I don't think it's that bad.

Slavankia.

Slavankia, what's your real name?

It's Gianna, but I go by Gigi.

Pretty close.

Gigi.

To be honest with you, that's in the world, Slovankia, Giovanna.

What's your history?

What European country does your family come from?

Italy.

Italy, France.

I don't know exactly.

Yeah, no one's doing 23andMe anymore.

After they see that, Gigi, can you put your mic closer to your mouth?

I'm not allowed to do those DNA tests.

You shouldn't do them.

They're dangerous and silly.

Why, what?

They have your blood for the rest of the time.

They can frame you.

They have your DNA.

Oh, my God.

You're afraid of getting framed.

I leave my DNA in every hotel room I ever stay in.

Gigi, are you afraid of getting framed?

No, no.

Do you have anything to cover up?

No.

Okay.

Is she being honest, do you think, JJ?

I think so.

Yeah, okay.

Well, I don't buy it.

What do you guys want to do in the biz?

I want to go into editing.

Do you want to be an editor as well?

Tough competition with Emma, huh?

What about you?

I think I'm going the AD route.

AD.

A D's are great.

Smart.

That's very smart.

An organizational person.

You're people person, right?

Maybe.

Well, that's AD.

You kind of have it.

Let me kind of have it.

If you ever AD something that I'm in,

quit the film.

If you call me in too early, we're going to have a problemo.

What is up with their fucking...

They don't know about time?

They do.

They don't.

They do.

Then why do I have to wait four hours?

Because they're lighting and they re-light and then they change where we're shooting.

And you know how this fucking thing goes.

It's a nightmare.

Who out of the crew hangs out the most?

Well, Toke and I have been roommates in college.

So, Toke, and you go back.

Yeah, we go back.

Do you like Toque?

I am a big fan of him.

You guys are good friends.

Do you guys do Night Whispers?

What?

You Night Whisper.

When you sleep and you.

Do you guys do Night Whisper?

You go, Toque.

It's more like, what are you thinking about?

I say, Toke, Toke, Toke.

Yeah.

What you thinking about?

Grilled cheese sandwiches.

Yeah.

Man, I really want one real bad.

Oh, I wish we had a kitchen.

You have a kitchen?

They do.

We do.

We have a kitchen.

What?

We have a fridge.

Kitchen.

Do you have cheese?

Is there cheese?

There's probably no cheese.

Wait, wait.

Do you have a fridge?

Yeah.

They do.

We have a fridge.

Fucking fridge?

When did we get a fucking fridge?

Do we have a grill?

Do we have a grill?

They do.

No, no, no, what the fuck.

We have a grill.

No, he said fourth floor.

Fourth floor, we have a fucking grill.

On the fourth floor, we have a grill.

Right, so do we have cheese and bread?

We can do it.

Let's do it.

Let's make it.

Do you do that ever with Toke?

No.

Oh, okay.

You don't whisper at night.

And who do you live with?

I live with the girls, but I have.

All the girls live together?

Yeah.

And I have my own room because there's three of us.

There's three girls.

You all have your own room, obviously.

Here's what we're going to do.

I'm going to give you guys money.

I'm being real.

What are you laughing about?

Okay.

If you want to give money.

Yeah, yeah.

He's allowed me to.

But you guys are going to fucking get dinner tonight.

Okay.

On us.

On us.

Do you have any cash on you?

Yeah, I got cash in the bag.

Okay.

I'll give you some cash.

We'll give you some cash.

You guys are going to get a nice dinner.

Okay.

On the retreat.

In your mind, what's a nice dinner down?

Is there a nice dinner downtown that you know of?

What do you guys usually eat eating downtown?

Because everything closes down there.

But on the way from here there, there's places.

They go to Bob's Big Boy.

I don't know.

No, I know.

Yeah.

That's true.

We've all been kind of cooking a lot.

You cook a lot.

We're like like doing like frozen meals yeah frozen meals yeah cooking in frozen meal not tonight baby right and if you take the cash and not don't get a meal i'm gonna have a problemo with it i'm not gonna spend a problem with it you can do whatever you want no no not me your money you're spending you're spending on a meal tonight on us

Thank you.

You're shady right now, Slovakia.

Okay.

What do you think?

First thing out of her mouth.

She was like,

I don't want them to frame me.

So she's obviously got some weird chicken.

You got some weird trust issues, I think.

I just got social anxiety.

Oh, you do?

You do.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, I'm glad we put you on the show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I didn't know you.

Well, no, this is a good exercise.

This is good.

Yeah.

We have anxiety.

Yeah.

You know what's great?

You wouldn't think.

I'm anxious now.

I'm full of anxiety.

You have terrible anxiety.

Yeah.

It comes in different forms.

We'll do some improv exercises then to get you through it.

Let's do.

Let's do one.

You want to try one?

And you want to be an AD.

And what do you want to be again?

Editor.

Editor with Emma.

That's right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's do an improv exercise, okay?

You're doing a TED talk.

Okay.

Okay.

So let me say.

A Tina talk.

Yeah.

You have to be very confident.

Even though we're going to give you a topic, you have to pretend you really, you're a professional, you know what you're talking about.

There's thousands of people in this room.

They paid money and they're here to hear an expert on a topic.

That's right.

Okay.

So you're going to go up and you're going to say you're going to make up a name.

You know what I mean?

Where you're from, and then you're going to go into the topic for like a minute.

And the technology.

What's the topic?

Well, the thing you invented was

you were the one that decided that the box at Street Lights that goes, wait, or walk, walk, walk.

That's you.

Yeah.

That's actually your voice.

The original one was your voice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you were the girl that invented wait, go, walk, walk.

That's you.

Yeah.

Okay?

Yeah.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

Talk about that for a minute.

Yeah, one minute.

One easy minute.

Yeah, yeah.

So I'm going to introduce you, okay?

Ladies and gentlemen, lights down.

And

how about a round of applause for our presenter for this evening?

You don't clap for yourself.

No, you can.

If you're really excited about your project.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I am.

Slavonia.

Slavonia.

And I have invented something that you have all used in your life many times.

What is it?

I wonder what it is.

What is it?

It's actually the crosswalk box that says wait.

And

it tells you to walk.

That's what she invented.

No, okay, yeah.

No,

listen, listen.

I'm serious.

Think about this, okay?

If this wasn't a thing, we'd all be getting hit by cars.

Well, we not really.

I mean, if I'm not sure, we can see that green and red.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, we need this.

This is a very important thing that is in every city, in every state, and I'm everywhere.

Okay,

we have some questions.

We asked some questions.

I like how we gave her a great invention, and she somehow made it sound like it was not worth it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like for some reason, now I'm like, God, that is not worth it.

Yeah, yeah.

It was invented for the blind.

Yeah.

I mean, it was, you know that?

It was invented for blind?

Yeah, to help them get across the streets.

Yeah.

That's why you hear go, cue, cue.

So the noises echo each other so they can find out how far it is and where they're going.

But you hate blind people.

You've said that on the show.

The first thing out of your mouth is, I hate blind people.

No, you did a good job pitching.

Very good.

Very good.

Very good.

I actually really like that.

You want to do one?

Not really.

I think you should.

I think you should.

I think you should.

You know, she said she has social anxiety and she really powered through it.

Yeah.

And I think, and applaud you, JJ.

That was fucking great.

Gigi.

Gigi.

Yeah.

All right.

Let's go, JJ.

JJ and Gigi.

TED Talk or no?

Yeah, he's got to do a TED Talk.

And what did he invent?

You two tell him.

I did hers.

Okay.

Bubble wrap.

Oh, this is fantastic.

Yeah, yeah.

All right, ladies and gentlemen, your presenter for the night, JJ.

Thank you.

You know how you order something and then it gets damaged on the way?

That happens to me, yeah.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, it's happening.

Like human body?

Oh, my God.

Yeah, body parts always get dinged up.

What if you had a wrap, made a bubble to stop that?

What do you mean, made a bubble?

I don't know what to do.

We get worded.

And the bubbles, they float and then they pop like little kids.

We already have that, though.

Is this the guy that invented it?

What is he doing?

What do you mean?

I did bubble wrap.

Oh,

you invented bubble wrap?

I did.

Really?

Yeah.

Did this is they're not turning into a TED talk.

It's turning into like an answer question.

What are you talking to the fucking speaker for?

There's only two of us in this room.

I mean, my God, he didn't sell any fucking tickets.

It seemed like a QA.

I got it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You invented bubble wrap.

And

what gave you the instinct to invent something like that?

Well, I ordered like a TV and then it shattered on the way.

So I thought we needed better protection in the postal system.

Smart.

Very smart.

Smart.

I don't know why you're ordering TVs through the postal system, but

outside of that, I think it's fantastic.

JJ, you're going to make a great AD someday.

A very good AD.

And you're going to be a great editor.

Who's better at editing?

You or Emma?

Be honest.

Go fast.

Go.

Honestly.

Don't even think.

I've never really seen much of her stuff.

We need to have an edit off.

Oh, slam.

Let's have an edit off.

Slam to Emma.

Oh, that was a slam.

Oh, I didn't really see stuff that she does.

Yeah, that's right.

I don't like the stuff that she does.

That's a little down there.

I mean, she's asked.

I just kind of don't want to see it.

Yeah.

Yeah, she does edit.

Yeah.

Not that I know.

I mean, I've seen it from afar.

I don't think she's doing it right.

A lot of other people say she edits, but I don't, I don't know.

Not that I know of.

It's not really my thing.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, JJ and Gigi, we appreciate you very much.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you, you guys.

Look at that.

They passed.

Did they get a grade for that?

Do they pass some sort of test?

Yes.

Let's say this.

Thank you for all your birthday condolences.

Yeah, that was great.

Can I say an honest thing real fast?

A truthful thing?

No.

It's the wrong on it.

Yeah.

He didn't die.

He died on his birthday.

I want to say something genuine.

Am I dumb?

Honestly, am I dumb?

No.

No, be real.

Am I dumb?

You're an artist.

Why?

Because I say, okay.

Do you think I'm dumb?

Yeah.

You really do?

No, of course not.

I wouldn't do something with you if I didn't think you were intelligent.

Are you real?

Yeah, if you're a fucking idiot, I wouldn't.

I mean, I could freak.

Yeah.

Here's the thing.

I think you are what we call an idiot savant,

meaning you're brilliant in your own very specific way.

Yeah.

And by the way, that's what makes you so special.

I'm not smart, but I.

But you're bright.

No.

An idiot savant refers to individual with mental disability who also demonstrates extraordinary abilities in specific specialized areas.

That's fact.

The term is now considered outdated and potentially ableist.

Did not know that.

Instead, preferred the more respectful term individual Savant syndrome.

Sorry.

I like idiot.

I'm an idiot.

Yeah, you're an idiot.

That could also be a special name, idiot savant.

I just want to say this.

I want to say thank you to everybody who watched my special, White Noise, on Hulu and Disney Plus, or wherever you get it.

It's all over the globe on Disney Plus, Hulu and North America, I believe.

I want to say thank you.

It means the world to me.

I know the world is chaos right now.

And I'm glad that we can make comedy that lets people forget about all of the nonsense in the world and just have a laugh.

So, thank you for watching.

White Noise, it means the world to me.

Thank you.

And also, thank you for being a bad friend.

Thank you for being a bad friend.