Santino turns 43? w/ Funny Marco

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You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots?

White dude and an Asian dude.

You two are disgusting.

We're bad friends.

43.

I'm 42.

This is wrong.

And oh my God, look at this guy.

Up the ra.

He's got his kneecap, uh, kneecap balaclava on.

That's pretty cool, man.

I just had to teach Carlos how to say that word.

He couldn't do it.

I like that you're covering your face.

Baklava?

Balaclava.

No, balaclava.

A baklava is good.

I love baklavas.

It's so good.

I love the Greek dessert.

And also, give it up for the return.

We haven't seen him in a long time of Richard.

I had to coerce him to come here.

Get on the battlefield.

I was at 7 Eckies today.

I saw Richie just, you know, I don't know what he does there, but he was just kind of wandering around.

And I go, you got to come back to Bad Friends.

He's like, well, if George allows me, George, George doesn't own you.

You can do whatever you want.

Well, I.

He took his passport.

I take my orders for Seven Eckies.

Feckling.

I mean, my loyalty's to Andres, to be honest.

Your loyalty is not to us?

Well, no, it's you, but it's to Andres.

Without us, no Seven Eckies.

That's right.

Without Andres.

He crumbles.

What?

Without him, no me.

Yeah, but without us, no Andres.

Anybody.

Hey, man, it all comes back to us.

okay well today is uh what a glorious day because um

our pal here you know

the paul simon of the group

no i'm the garfunk no i'm the garfunko who are they both still alive yeah they are well then we're you know what you know who we are if we were motley crew

that's right you're tommy for sure tommy and who am i i don't know i'm the i'm the roadie you're the roadie dude loading it in just loading in.

That's all I do.

I'm loading it in, loading it out.

Is Nikki Six in it?

Yeah, Nikki Six.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

You're Nikki Six.

I'm Nikki 5.

Okay.

You're Nikki 43.

Johnny 5 stays alive.

Yeah, I re-watched Blow last night, by the way.

One of the best movies.

Never seen it.

What?

Yeah.

Please watch it.

It's cocaine-driven.

Yoy.

Yeah.

You had the wrong dream, George.

Yeah.

Who's in Blow?

Johnny Deppin and Penelope Cruz.

It made me forget how dope Penelope Cruz was.

It reminded me, I'm sorry.

She's unbelievable.

Anyway, I was having a speech prepared.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Give a speech.

Yeah, yeah.

Sorry.

Our honey baby here.

What a voyage and what a journey and what an adventure that you've been on.

For 42 years.

Yeah.

From the projects.

From yeah, from the bottom, from the Chicago projects.

From the hood, yeah.

To elite status.

No, no, no.

Good man.

Good man.

Yeah.

Athlete.

Athletic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Comrade.

Comrade.

Yeah.

Destroyer.

Yeah.

And healer.

And healer.

I'll do both.

Yeah, yeah.

I like that.

Cambodian Freedom Fighter.

CFF.

Yeah, that's right, dude.

And, you know, you mean so much to me.

You're one of my best friends in the whole world.

And, you know, we've had our differences.

Oh, yeah.

Big differences.

Big, big differences.

Big differences.

But we've had our moments as well.

I think that's what makes a good friendship.

Exactly.

And so why don't we give my comrade comrade here a happy birthday?

I like it.

I'm really enjoying it.

A happy birthday.

All right.

So,

come on, hurry.

What the fuck are you doing, man?

He's always slow.

Yeah, anyway.

Always slow on the upswing, that kid.

He's the bind, the binder, the creator,

trapper keeper.

No, fill time.

I like it.

No, you're good at this.

You can fill time.

Yeah, you float distance.

You do.

Hell yeah.

You float distance.

Hell yeah.

And you create havoc within two means.

And the two means are two buttons.

And the two buttons are life.

Yeah, baby.

McConnell.

He's the order of the.

You're the order.

You're the order of all smiths.

Oh, he's the order, and you're the chaos.

Yeah.

But, you know,

you'd be the headsmith in some village.

I'll tell you that right now.

Really?

Yeah.

Where do you get the best axes?

Andrew.

You know what I mean?

Where do you get

the clogs for the horses?

I don't know what you call them.

No clogs.

Yeah, they were clogs.

Stirrups, dude.

You go to Andrew, right?

I'm the...

I churn butter in that village.

But I come to you for the arrows.

I don't know what else do they do there.

You're doing good.

And

you're a locksmith as well.

I fix everything.

You can break into houses as well.

Really?

Yeah, dude.

You make the best lockspicks in the village.

The best lockspicks in the whole village.

Yeah.

And the wizard?

The wizard that lives there?

Of Oz?

Your best friend i'm friends with the wizard yeah you're friends with the wizard wow you're friends with the um the ladies that sing the songs

in the church the sirens exactly the sirens yeah

that's you so i'm yeah important to the village you're important to it all yeah yeah and guess what guess what you're gonna be mayor of this village

and then the emperor

He sees your work good deeds and your good works.

Thank you, sir.

And he promotes you.

To clergy.

I'm now part of you.

You're part of the clergy.

I feel like that's down, clergyman.

But you move up.

I move it up.

Yeah, yeah.

I elected.

The bishop is there.

Happy birthday, thank God.

To you.

Happy birthday, dear Andrew.

Thank you.

Happy birthday to you.

Woo!

So much more.

Yes!

Success!

What is this?

Tiramassiu.

Tiramasu.

Oh, it's my favorite.

Let's get the gifts out.

It's my favorite thing.

Get the gift out.

Oh, my God.

Do I love Tiramasu?

Thank you.

I love Tiramasu.

Very nice.

This is the best Tiramasu in Los Angeles, as they say.

Is that true, Fancy?

Yep.

Bishop, Santino.

Yes, my son.

You were once a Smith.

I was once a Smith.

Defeated the wizard in the old Battle of Ages.

You created axes and swords and

horse clogs.

You mean?

Best Smith in the business.

Thank you.

And you were clergy.

You moved yourself up to bishop.

Thank you.

And we would like to say happy birthday to you, my bishop.

Bishop Santino.

Bye bye.

Thank you.

Wow.

Bye Lord.

An envelope.

An envelope.

Inside is a card with a little golf club.

Exactly.

This is from

Tacomo Spa.

Wow.

Happy birthday from your pals at bad friends, Bobby Carlos, Fancy McConnell, and sometimes Rudy.

And this is to the spa.

This is incredible.

It's incredible.

Thank you so very much.

I would like a little spa.

And this says, McCone, much love.

Carlos, love you.

Happy birthday from Richie, Felice Coplianos, Jeffe?

El Jefe?

Am I El Jefe?

Yeah.

Did Richie sign it?

And this is beautiful.

Richie didn't, and I got to tell you, happy he didn't.

I don't want his sickness.

Happy birthday, pal.

Thank you.

I love you.

Did I have to say?

This is all I want.

Just a little massage, a little spa time for the business.

I have some things coming.

I know you do.

You're the best, the best gift giver.

Yeah, I'm the best gift giver.

So, um, anyway, good.

Well, hurrah, hurrah!

Hurrah, hurrah!

Happy birthday, hurrah!

My favorite thing about our birthdays, going back to back like this,

is that the whole episode is about your birthday,

and mine is less than two minutes.

Mine is literally,

yeah, yeah, he's bored already.

Bravo,

good current, Michelle.

Okay, I'm going to show you.

You know,

let me reflect on birthdays real fast.

We don't give a shit.

Thank you.

Exactly.

Yeah.

It is a very good tourism.

Phenomenal.

It's phenomenal.

What's the name of the place?

Giovanni's.

Giovanni's.

Very nice.

A good birthday it will be.

You know what?

You want to know what I'm doing for my birthday?

I'd like to know, Bishop, please.

I'm going to, of all places, Albuquerque, to go see the Hot Air Balloon Festival and go on a hot air balloon.

Have you ever seen this?

No, but be careful.

Yeah,

it's one of the most beautiful events I think ever.

Don't unbuckle.

Look at how pretty that is.

What'd you say?

What'd you say?

What'd you say?

Don Unbuckle.

Don Unback.

Don Unbuckle.

Okay.

But it's beautiful.

It's right.

It's early in the morning.

You go at dawn and you see all the balloons arise.

Have you really done this before?

I'm about to go do this.

You've never done it before.

No, I'm going to go do this.

But it looks incredible.

Hundreds of balloons in the sky.

Yeah.

You're not scared at all.

Why would I be?

Do you have a high-quality balloon?

We got a mid-level.

Okay.

okay, okay.

A mid-level balloon.

Yeah.

It was on discount.

Now, how does that work?

Let's bring up some accidents.

There we go.

That's you.

That's me.

Yeah.

Now, if that happens, what would you do?

2025 Santa Katarina hot air balloon crash June 21st.

Hot air balloon caught fire, crashed.

Okay.

Yeah.

Oh, look in.

Look inward, killing eight of the 21 people.

Come on, that's not bad.

Good chance.

I think I'd be one of the others.

Don't you think?

Five non-fatal injuries.

I don't know.

Non-fatal.

So they, okay.

So honestly, yeah, a couple people got dinged.

2013, Luxor hot air balloon crash.

All right.

So that's been a long time.

So you know what?

In 2013, that's a long time to 2025.

They were due.

Yeah.

And they got it out of the way this year.

Yeah.

What's the old, old school one from the black and white?

What was that called again?

Hindenburg.

The Hindenburg.

I don't remember that one.

Yeah.

The Hindenburg.

I hate to tell you, that was not a hot air balloon.

Yeah.

How many people died on the Hiddenberg?

Hindenburg.

Hindenburg.

The Hindenburg was down in

May 6th, 1937, Manchester.

36 deaths.

Let me guess.

All white.

All white.

Yeah, yeah.

All white.

Yeah.

Well, you know what that thing was filled with, right?

What?

Black sadness.

Black sadness?

What is that?

Can I just precaution?

I'm ready to go.

No, precaution.

I'm 42.

This says 43.

I'm ready to go.

I couldn't even get that right.

McCone, you've stayed at my house.

It wasn't McCone.

Who was it?

It was me.

Yeah.

You think I'm 43?

I heard you say 42.

Exactly.

That's what you did say the other day.

I am 42 because it's my birthday.

I see.

Yeah.

41, pretty good.

Wow.

What incredible.

You know what I'm looking forward to?

What?

43.

43.

Yeah.

Yeah, looking forward to 43.

Looking forward to 43.

Now, in this cut.

May I ask?

Upcoming year, what do you expect here?

42.

What do I expect in my 43s?

Yeah, what are some goals?

The Bad Friends animated show to get lifted off the ground so we can finally start making that masterpiece.

Yeah, bad friends.

Bad Friends Animated.

Yeah.

I'm excited to start touring again and doing new material.

Scared.

Out of my mind.

I'm excited for the Bobby Lee stand-up special taping.

Very excited for that.

And

I'm even more excited to take the entire summer off next year.

No shows, no podcasts, no nothing.

I'm gone for three and a half months.

Where are you going?

I'm turning off my phone and I'm disappearing.

Okay.

That might interfere with work.

It doesn't matter to me.

Yeah.

Yeah, this is all work.

Well, we'll have to backlog.

Yeah.

No.

Okay, well then, are we done?

You've got to get a new host, a co-host.

Okay.

Now you're excited.

Taylor Williamson.

I don't know who else.

He's the only one available.

Taylor Williamson.

He is great.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you know, I too want to have a, I want to do a,

what do you call it?

When you go dark in a cave.

A little sadness retreat.

No, no, no.

A darkness retreat.

Yeah.

Have you seen those?

I want to do that.

I would love to try the one you and I.

We should go together, try to do the one where you don't speak for five days.

Yeah.

That'd be

fucking impossible.

Yeah.

You don't talk for five.

Neil Brennan did it, I think.

You voluntarily go to this thing and you don't talk.

And all of L.A.

was relieved.

You go there for five days.

Love you, Neil.

We love you, Neil.

We love you, Neil.

Darkness retreats near Los Angeles within the ultimate darkness retreat.

Look what they look like.

Is there an image of my friend?

Well, there's one in Malibu, but you know, you would come home at night.

You know that you wouldn't last.

Yeah.

You don't think so?

You and I would never last.

You know what I would do a darkness retreat if there was a competition?

Yes.

Well, we could make it a competition.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who taps out first?

They don't have sukkam and ramen out there.

Yeah.

I'm sure you're eating tofu bowls and stuff.

I just think that it would be...

I just want to know what it's like.

Just to feel it.

Yeah, to feel it.

It's kind of like when you try to go vegan or something.

Oh, Oh, there's another thing.

Have we talked about this?

There's another thing that I want to do, which is go to that room with no sound.

Oh, God, the hyperbaric chamber.

Is that what it's called?

There's a room with no sound, and people can only last an hour or they go crazy.

That one right there.

What's it called?

How do you say that?

Any choic chamber?

Yeah, and a lot of YouTubers and viral people get to go.

I want to make a proposition.

Is there any way bad friends can go visit this room?

Because I'm just so curious.

That'll be a great episode.

But you can only go for a short amount of time because people go crazy, don't they?

Yeah, within 15, 20 minutes, people start seeing things and they start hearing their veins.

That's cool.

Yeah.

So I sat in something not this level, but I sat in something like this in

Hobart.

They had a museum, and in the museum, they had something as close as they could.

But you can hear your own heartbeat.

It is very weird.

Yeah.

I did not like it at all.

Yeah.

Like your brain.

And this one isn't even like this.

This was like a low-down version of this.

But that thing scares me.

See, even the look of it's scary.

Honestly, Carlos, be real.

Try to make this happen.

Okay, okay.

Okay.

I'm really scared of it.

I'm not going to lie.

I know.

If you do 15 minutes, you do 15 minutes.

I'm not going to laugh at you.

15?

Yeah.

I'm doing two.

Yeah.

I think I can do an hour.

No chance.

Oh, yeah.

What's the longest someone's been in one of these?

How do you even say that?

It's an hour and a half.

I think an hour and a half.

Everybody take a guess on how you say that.

Yeah.

Anychoic, anechoic chamber, Anesoic chamber?

Yeah.

Anachoic.

Anachoic chamber?

How long has someone been in there?

What's the longest anyone's been in there?

The longest a person has stayed in there is Raymond Redmond, Microsoft's Redmond campus, 55 minutes.

Wow.

Wow.

45 minutes in another lab.

YouTube's Calix, one hour and 26 minutes in a London chamber.

Yeah.

These durations are challenged by the disorienting effects of the profound silence.

Sensory deprivation, hallucinations, increased awareness of internal body sounds like heartbeats and breathing.

See, what if you had a heart attack in there?

Could you hear your heart?

Well, there's video camera.

Look at this.

Man who broke the record for time spent in the world's quietest room yeah reported experiencing several hallucinations

yeah see i i just 32 year old is allowed to speak he spoke for one minute every five minutes to keep sound levels below 25 decibels so he would just talk to himself what's the no no no i saw the video because it's on video so you can every minute every five minutes he would talk for a minute and he would he would tell people what was going on it looks like a horror film look at that i i know we got to do it because we got to talk about the point of this well you you they say you you clear your brain, you reconnect.

But you also hallucinate and stuff.

Yeah, yeah.

He said, it sounds like someone's dragging a trolley across my ear.

It feels like seconds are going slower while I talk.

And the trolley in your ears, you can hear your blood vessels in your ear.

Yeah, we got to try it, dude.

It's the hardest five minutes he's ever done, he said.

He felt like he was going crazy.

Wow.

I'm so curious.

See, but if you have any, if you have any, if you're...

Prone to panic attacks or claustrophobia.

This is going to kill you.

What?

Yeah, I have panic attacks sometimes.

All right, well, then I'll do it.

Okay.

I'll watch it.

Yeah, yeah.

You'll watch, though?

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to cuck you.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to cuck this.

Yeah.

That is creepy to think about.

We've got to try it.

I'm down to do it.

We got to go to London.

Is there one in Los Angeles?

I think there's one in Minnesota.

Anasoic Chamber.

Oh, the UCLA Physics Department has one.

Research purposes, requiring a professor's sponsorship for access.

UC Irvine also has one.

We could try.

Let's give it a go.

Are you prepped and ready for your special taping?

No, I'm not.

You're coming up on it, babe.

I know.

That's why I booked a bunch of shows, so I'm going to just try to bang it out.

You know, at this point, it's like, I have what I have.

I can't change what I'm not.

You can keep manipulating it and piecing it together.

We are trying, but it's like, I have what I have.

You know what I mean?

I'm just going to do what I'm going to do.

And if they said, don't ever do another one, then I'm not going to do one.

Then don't do another one.

Yeah, yeah.

Right.

But I think it's going to be fine.

I think it's going to be wonderful.

Yeah, yeah.

I like some of my jokes.

And I'm a performer.

It'll be fine.

What's so funny?

I mean, when you see me perform, I don't bomb.

Never.

No.

I never bomb, right?

I do well, right?

Yeah.

Okay, good.

You think it's going to go well?

Who in the room in the back?

I'm not allowed there, so I have no opinion.

Yeah, you're coming.

You told me I wasn't.

I was kidding.

Of course

I need you to be there.

What do you think?

I think it's going to go great.

Okay, what about Andres?

Absolutely.

Okay, Carlos, be real.

I think any hint of it not going well, you'll just hop on a joke that works, so it can't not go well.

It can't not go well.

How much time do you have?

I have 40.

40 is all you need?

What are you going for?

Well, I have a musical number and some other things.

Whoa.

Yes, it'll fill a ten.

But I'm also working on another 10, so let's see what happens.

Musical number, I like that.

Yeah, I'm going to play the piano and sing it.

Live at noon.

What?

Live at the yellow onion.

Anyway.

Let's bring in our guest.

We should.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Funny Marco.

Funny Marco, ladies and gentlemen.

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Say what?

I was just the no, we in it.

We're here.

Are we in it?

We don't have to be in it.

Yeah.

Hold on.

Did they already pass

St.

Patrick's Day?

Yeah, it's my birthday.

This is my birthday episode, so they're selling because I'm Irish.

This is my.

Oh, I'm turning.

How old do you think I am?

In what?

Like.

In human years.

How old are you?

Just looking at me.

Well, I just learned that Theo Var is 56.

No, no, no.

He's 45.

He's 45.

I didn't know that.

But Burt Kreischer told me that you thought he was 29.

Yeah, I thought he was young.

Yeah.

So how old am I?

I'm going to say 43.

Okay.

Very good.

What about me?

Marco?

What about me, Marco?

Do you have age?

Yeah.

Asians, we do age.

Oh, I didn't know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I didn't know.

Like, you just always look good.

Yeah, yeah.

Let me ask you this.

What kind of Asian am I?

This is a fun game.

A beautiful one.

Yeah, no, no, no, no, no.

Listen, Marco.

Can I call you Marco?

Yeah.

Right.

I'm not one of those Asians that get offended.

Yeah, you can say that.

Throw it out there.

What?

No, no, no.

What's my fucking, what kind of Asian?

I say, like,

the one off of Hangover.

Yeah.

The one off of Hangover.

He's writing stuff down.

Yeah, I'm writing stuff down today, so don't forget.

Okay.

Hangover.

And also, how old am I, Marco?

Oh.

You don't age.

I know I don't.

Like, if you put up a baby picture, you probably still look the same.

Yeah, yeah.

Put it up.

But

put a guess up.

There's Bobby's a baby.

He looks the same.

And his dad right there, his dad in that photo is 94.

Yeah.

So no guess?

I'm going to say 36.

Wow.

Thank you.

Oh, that's offensive as fuck.

That's as offensive as fuck.

I look younger than Andrew.

That hurts.

That hurts.

I'm 54 years old.

54.

Are you serious?

Yeah, yeah.

How do you feel?

Like, what do your dad look like?

He's dead.

He's dead.

Oh, he is.

Yeah, he died.

He looks like that.

I never.

Okay, so what is

your culture again?

Korean.

Korean.

Yeah.

How are Korean?

Say it back.

It's only public.

Anyung Haseo.

Anyung Haso.

Onyung Haseyo.

Nah.

Okay.

How are the funerals?

Can you break it down?

I've never been to one before.

Igamoya.

Oh.

Oh, he's asking you, How are you today?

I'm doing good.

Oh.

Yeah.

Mashisoya.

Yeah.

You got subtitles?

Yeah.

For the audience, yeah.

Okay.

Well, he asked about how your funerals are.

We love black funerals.

We've talked about it on the show.

They're probably the best thing in the world.

Yeah, they are.

Have you been to one of those where they prop them up and they like play with them?

I ain't did that one.

That's the craziest shit I've ever seen in my life.

Well,

Asian funerals, we're quiet people.

But so we go,

everybody does that the same time.

Yeah.

So nobody cries.

That's me crying.

They have smaller tear ducts.

Yeah.

I don't really cry.

Yeah, smaller eyes.

How you been to one?

With him?

To an agreement.

No, you know, he invited me to one, but I couldn't go.

But I do want to go because it does look like a party.

This looks like a party.

Because he lost his gi.

I lost my ghee.

He lost his gi.

That's an African funeral with their encased in there, and that's a celebration.

Yeah.

She was a mermaid

while she was alive funny Marco you think there are black mermaids

look I wouldn't I wouldn't know what a I feel like a mermaid would just be a no race just nothing oh it's a nothing race I'll say that to her that's the new look of mermaid so yeah she would disagree yeah I just feel like it would be like see-through

oh like jellyfish yeah oh translucent I see right but would you hook up with a mermaid you think

no no no what

mermaids do have.

They have?

They have hole.

They have hole.

Mermaid have hole.

Yeah.

They are real.

They are real.

Yeah, yeah.

Absolutely.

They've only caught three.

One alive.

Yeah.

That's the whole right.

There it is.

It's like a little diamond.

You could fit in there.

Yeah.

I'm glad you're here.

There's a part where you'd like, oh, wow.

Yeah.

No.

Okay.

No, I was contemplating that.

And I, yeah, you're right.

I could fit in there.

Yeah, you could.

Do you know why?

I have a small penis.

Oh.

I Wouldn't call like no my penis is fine.

Yeah, it's good.

Yeah, getting you somewhere.

Yeah, yeah, everybody likes something, you know, so I feel like it could be big to somebody,

you know, yeah, for a little dwarf

If that's what you like.

That's what you like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Are you in a relationship?

No, well, just I'm just hanging out.

Who does that mean?

I mean, I feel like relationships are just like, you know, relationships.

I feel like they just,

they there, you know?

Yeah.

I feel like marriage.

You're playing the field.

Yeah, I feel like, yeah, until you get married, it's like, you know, hanging out.

Until you're married, you're just doing your thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Where are you?

I'm married.

He's not.

He's single.

He's ready.

He's ready.

You want to go out on the town?

What's taking you so long?

What does that mean?

Well, you're 54, he knows, and so he's asking.

Yeah, well, you know, I've been in long-term relationships.

They haven't worked out.

And then now I'm back on the prowl.

Yeah.

You can do that.

So what do you meet your girls at?

Oh, really?

At the dojo.

Is that what you're saying?

I don't know.

What the fuck are you saying?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No.

No, no.

Like on the app?

No, yeah.

Can we see how you DM girls?

Well, let me call the Emperor and see if the geishas are available.

What the fuck are you talking about, man?

Which part?

He wants to see your game.

Show him.

He wants to know that you have it.

I'm on a dating app called Raya.

Can you show us how you got a girl, how it goes, a thread that you're comfortable with?

Yeah, show a thread.

What do you mean the thread?

To read us what they're saying.

You can talk to a girl, like, like, and get her number.

How do you get it?

Are you not on the apps?

Yeah, I'm on Instagram.

Usually

make sure that they're single by watching their stories.

Yeah.

I got one.

Okay.

Can he explain how he gets correct?

He didn't.

We got to take this right now before he goes.

What is it?

No, no, I can do it.

I can later.

Okay.

And then

always...

Watch their story and start a conversation.

Never going like you want to talk to them.

What's your first line?

What's your line?

It depends on what they post on the story that?

Okay, okay.

I'm I've got I'm in

Abiza with the girls.

No.

I'm playing dodgeball with a Samoan.

I'm playing dodgeball with Samoan, right?

He's yanked back, right?

And I'm going

like, don't hit me.

Right?

So what's that opening line?

He's not interested.

She's a hottie.

She's a hottie, but she's playing dodgeball.

She's been playing dodgeball with Samoans.

How old is she?

She's a 10, but she's she's playing dodgeball.

She's 27 years old, dog.

Right.

Big titties, Brazilian ass, everything.

Right?

So she's like, ah.

Born a woman, right?

What?

She's born a woman.

Well, you'll care.

You'll have to find out.

It doesn't matter.

You're going to have to find out.

She has the right parts now.

Okay.

She got the op.

I'll probably pass it to you if you like.

No, okay.

She's born a woman.

She is a woman.

She identifies as a woman.

She's just playing dodgeball with Samoans.

Yeah, I just don't get...

I wouldn't be in that role.

Right.

doing Instagram post?

Oh, yeah.

And then they post that.

They posted that.

How did the game go?

How did the game go?

That's good.

Fuck.

Yeah.

Finally, well, you said it like it was live.

You didn't say it was a picture.

All right.

So

give him a scenario.

I'll respond.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now I like it.

I think it's smart.

How did the game go?

And the girl responds:

We lost.

Can you help me?

I'm down.

What do you say?

Down?

There's a lot of double entages happening.

We lost.

Can you help me?

I'm down.

I'm down.

What is she really?

What's the next thing you say?

I don't know.

Then I was like, when the next time y'all playing it, and I love to come and play with you guys.

Do I play with Samoans?

Yeah.

You hear what you're saying?

Yeah.

Come play with you guys.

Yeah, I actually come play.

Yeah.

Okay.

I actually used to date a Samoan.

I let her know I very understand them.

Oh, you understand their technique?

Yeah.

Based on the, because you dated one?

Yeah.

You know, Samoan dodgeball technique.

Yeah.

Based on the dates that you've been on.

That's insane.

Okay.

Family or yeah.

So you got to like, watch out.

Like, you can't get too rough, you know, because they eat together.

It's a family.

Does Samoan's genitals smell different?

I didn't get that far.

Right.

My first girlfriend, and I didn't take her virginity, and she thought something was wrong with me, but I just wasn't ready.

Good for you.

What's your favorite flavor then of girl?

I feel like anybody that love theyself.

Beautiful answers.

We're talking about flavors.

It's just, it varies.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I got like.

Can I throw out some flavors?

I didn't date it all tight.

Chiante.

Yeah.

Keonti.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like that flavor?

Who's Keontae?

It's a flavor.

Anyway.

Keontae sounds like a black girl.

It does.

Yeah.

That does.

How about

Hazelnut?

That's a white girl.

That's a guy.

That's a guy.

That's a guy?

Yeah.

Because of the nut?

Yeah.

Yeah.

How about chartreuse?

Chartreuse.

Sound like another guy.

Sounds like a guy.

Let's give him

Rocky Road.

Another guy.

Okay.

Give it a...

Oh, Rose.

Rose?

Yeah.

That sounds like an older woman.

Okay.

Lavender.

Yes.

I like that.

Lavender vague.

Older woman that you can

cook for you and put you to bed.

Cook before you put you to bed.

What about Rosemary?

How is she?

Rosemary?

Older lady, too.

Yeah, she's much older.

Yeah.

Would you date an older woman?

Yeah.

What are we talking as a ceiling?

If they got like some, you know, something that they're going to leave behind, I'd definitely stay.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

Bring her up, please.

Bring her up.

Yeah.

Would you date Sarah Huckabee Sanders?

Because she did hear you were coming on the show and was interested in talking to you.

I don't think she would like me.

Yeah.

And when you say you or anybody like you.

Yeah, yeah.

There she is with her three children.

Right?

Yeah, she wouldn't like me.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, that's that.

She has no black kids.

Okay.

Well, let's give her one.

No, I just think she already got what she likes.

She got what she's like.

You got to respect it.

Do you have any kids?

Yeah, I got kids.

How many kids?

I got three kids.

Three?

Yeah.

Boy, boy, girl.

I got...

Two girls, one boy.

Other way.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Beautiful.

How old is the oldest one?

12.

She's mixed.

So her mama is white and black.

And then I got

me a black baby and I got Mexican baby.

Oh, you have different mamas?

Yeah, not an Asian yet.

Three mamas.

Let's get you an Asian, baby.

Three mamas.

Okay.

Is your mom alive?

She is.

Mama Lav.

Yeah.

What is that?

Some sort of terminology I'm not aware of.

Mama Lav.

He said, is your mother alive?

Oh, she's alive.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is she single?

She is single, actually.

What stops up?

She got an Instagram?

No, she doesn't have an Instagram.

I don't like the line of.

She does TikTok.

Did your mom have an Instagram?

Mine?

No, she don't would she like me

why

she like people that's like you know excuse me

she like people that have been through shit oh I've been through a fire he's actually been through a lot a fire shot at electrocuted he's been shot at

electrocuted in a movie or like real life no in real life dude yeah what was that like yeah I've been hit by a mallet But if he was to get shot at and you know who did it, would you tell?

Oh, I like this.

This is street knowledge.

Are you a street knowledge?

I'm running street knowledge.

I love it.

Say that again?

If you know who shot at you and you could tell, would you?

No, homie, because I'm not a snitch.

So you want to keep them out there to shoot at other people?

I would snitch.

Yeah.

No, I wouldn't snitch.

But guess what, dude?

They'll get their day.

Oh.

Yeah.

I'll rip their ass off.

Yeah.

No.

Well, I'll rip it.

I'll rip it terrible.

Have you been shot at?

No.

Who's shooting you?

You're so lovable.

No, I'll say that's what my mama likes.

She likes God to get shot at.

Wow.

Wow.

Every man she's been with has been shot?

Yes.

That's a prerequisite for your mother.

Yeah.

What a dating app.

Has she been shot?

No, she haven't.

Oh, good.

Thank you.

Well, she keeps hanging out with guys that do.

It might.

No, she's staying in the house, though.

My mama's like.

Okay, I got it.

I got it.

She stays in the house, and she likes guys that are in the streets.

Where does she live?

In Kansas City.

KC.

That's where you're from.

Yeah.

You don't live there now, though?

No, I don't.

Where do you live now?

It's bad.

I live in Atlanta.

Wait, what do you mean it's bad?

In Kansas City, it's really like

the crime rate is bad.

It's bad.

Really?

Yeah.

How's Atlanta, though?

Isn't Atlanta up and down, too?

It's so big, like you can, like.

You can get away from it.

Yeah, you can get away from it.

KCKC or KC Moe?

KC Mo.

Okay.

I got a question for y'all.

Go ahead.

What do you say, like, you know, how would you compare?

What would you say about y'all success right now?

What do you feel like you haven't done yet that you want to do with both of y'all?

What haven't we done?

That we'd like to do?

I mean, solo, not together.

Oh, well, we don't.

Okay.

Well, we don't do much much separate.

We're one unit.

You know, I'll be honest with you.

I've done everything I've dreamt of doing.

I've been in movies.

I've been serious regular on TV shows.

I've done stand-up on TV.

I've

toured.

I'm about to go up in a hot air balloon for the first time.

Yeah.

And I hope it doesn't crash.

Okay.

Would you go up in a hot air balloon?

I would.

You would?

Yeah.

Good.

Would you skydive?

Yeah.

Would you bungee jump?

I don't like that.

You don't like that that one?

I just tried the indoor, you know, sky dang,

and it was a lot for me.

You didn't like that?

No, I didn't.

Yeah.

It didn't feel good.

What's going on, man?

He's sick.

My allergies.

We're going to get sick.

I'm telling you.

Yeah, I think you're getting sick.

Could you just be honest?

I'm sorry.

No, okay.

So black people.

No, you're right.

You're right.

Yeah, yeah.

I have allergies.

And Asians get allergies as well.

Wait a minute.

White people invented allergies.

Yeah, they invented it.

That's our thing.

No.

No, you didn't invent that.

No, we didn't.

You invented a lot of stuff.

Peanut butter, traffic lights.

The doorknob.

He invented allergy.

The doorknob.

The doorknob.

Yeah, yeah.

Do you know about Black Invention?

Yeah.

Do you know about all the Black Inventions?

Because we go over them on this show pretty often.

Yeah.

PlayStations.

No, you didn't invent that.

No, that's it.

I think the Japanese.

That's the Japanese.

Yeah, that's our people.

Okay.

Home security system.

Yeah.

Traffic lights.

Yeah.

Elevator doors.

Gas masks.

The modern doorknob, though, too.

Blood banks, ironing boards, hair straighteners, refrigeration.

Air conditioning, super soakers.

Yeah.

Super soaker is amazing.

Lonnie Johnson invented the super soaker water gun.

Those are very important.

Now, would your mother date Lonnie Johnson?

Because

he's into guns, but they're water guns.

No.

She couldn't fuck with Lonnie Johnson.

No.

Lonnie Johnson.

They say he just now got paid for that.

He never got paid.

He just recently got paid for it.

Oh, really?

He just got paid for a super soaker?

He just recently got paid for it.

Oh, wow.

Some white guy claimed it was his.

Yeah, they didn't never pay him.

Fucking white soaks.

Wow.

Look at that.

That was the original.

Men in black style.

Yeah.

Wow.

Look at him.

So he finally got paid.

Lonnie Johnson finally got paid.

You can look it up.

It says he just got paid at the many years, like him getting paid for the Super Soaker.

And because some scumbag took all the money.

Yes, 2013, Super Sooker inventor Lonnie Johnson was paid after a legal battle with Hasbro, which acquired the company to license the toy, $72.9 million in underpaid royalties.

Wow.

Now your mother would definitely date Lonnie Johnson.

Yeah, she would fuck Lonnie Johnson.

She would fuck Lonnie?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I have a little money.

Would she fuck me?

No, not Lonnie Johnson money, but.

Oh, God.

I know I don't have Lonnie Johnson.

You're not Lonnie Johnson.

No Lonnie Johnson money.

Okay.

What do you think is the best black invention?

That's a good question.

We got stop signs, right?

Traffic lights, I think, was that traffic lights.

Yeah, that would be good.

That's huge.

Home security.

We were just dying before that.

Home security.

I mean, home security is so fucked up because you just watch it happen, but you know it's happening, but it's like, it's done.

Like, you can't do shit.

You can't do shit.

What do you mean?

Explain.

If somebody's breaking your house, you just see it.

But then you can do some action, like call somebody.

Now, if they made home security with lasers where you can shoot through,

I see it.

They need that.

Now we're thinking.

Lasers.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I always wondered, like in the bank and the movies where they try to go through, why don't we just have those in the house?

That's true.

You and I breaking into his house.

Breaking into his home?

Yeah.

We could just ask to go over.

He'd let us in.

Oh, you would?

I'm going to break in.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm at living.

I leave my doors unlocked.

I live in a nice neighborhood.

You do?

You do.

You leave your doors unlocked?

Yeah.

Seems risky to me.

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

I would never leave my door unlocked.

I mean, why?

Because if they don't want to go in, they're going to get in anyway.

You think if somebody wanted to break in your house, they're going to be like, oh, the door

is locked.

We're going to turn around tomorrow.

They're still going to get in.

Well, it's a little bit more.

I don't want to get a new door.

Right.

Oh, dude.

Let him in.

He's got something there.

Yeah.

Now, if they do get in, what do you do?

Once they're in, you just let them have it or you protect your house.

Oh, no.

It depends if I'm there or not there.

If you're there.

Oh, I mean, it'd probably be like a shooting range.

You keep that thing on you.

I mean, not on me, but it's not.

You keep that thing at the house.

It's like John Wick style.

I got you.

Does Georgia have eminent domain?

You know what that is, right?

Isn't that what it's called?

Where if somebody breaks into your house, you could shoot and kill them.

You got to scream and let them know, I got a gun.

I will kill you.

Yeah.

Right.

Stand your ground.

That's right.

Georgia stand your ground law eliminates the duty to retreat before using deadly force.

So in Georgia, no duty to retreat.

Individuals are not legally required to attempt to flee a threatening situation before using deadly force.

So if someone breaks into your home, you could kill them.

right?

But I don't want to, I'll just

like to, yeah, but it's a free pass to kill somebody, yeah.

But it's like,

I'm with you because it's like, I don't want to clean my house up, like, it's in my house.

Oh, right, right.

Funny, Marco, you got plenty of money to pay someone to clean that house.

Yeah, how about just go break in a house, Danny?

I got that.

Okay, so once they break into your house, you break into their house.

Yeah, so you would make an announcement, do you think?

Chess, not checkers.

Well, how would you say it?

I'm breaking your house.

I want to do an act out, right?

I've been trying to do an act out for three minutes.

Trust me,

we've seen, yeah, right here.

Those are the lasers.

And I dodged it like, I'm dodging the lasers, right?

There we go.

Right, right.

I knew about Marco has these lasers, right?

Right.

Uh-huh.

And then all of a sudden, okay, I'm going to steal this

Mexican baby's toy because of the Mexican one, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Mexican.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And what else?

I wrote down with the Lynch.

A half-white baby's toy.

And then I'm going to ask, I'm going to say, who's down there?

It's me.

Bob.

It's me, Bob.

And then I'm gonna laugh because I'm gonna be like, what the fuck is wrong with him?

Why would he say his name?

It's Bob Lee.

Right.

From L.A.

Right.

Yeah.

And that's when I say, I got a warning shot, and I fire one in the air.

Yeah, but we're bros, no?

And then when I come down, since you heard the fire, and it has to go off again.

So you always got to shoot one into the air.

Oh, so I have one shot.

To go away.

To go away.

Yeah.

But then your roof has a hole in it.

I know.

Okay.

And then you're going to have one too.

So it's like, you you know?

Well, even...

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Excuse me.

Yeah.

You know it's me.

We've met before.

Lasers and everything.

Yeah, you did go past the laser.

Oh, I did.

Yeah.

Oh, that's right.

Because of my ninja skus ninja skills.

And I'm on the corner.

I'm just hanging.

I'm waiting for you to come back.

That's right.

Okay.

Are you the getaway driver?

Always.

Oh, gay get shot too.

Always.

Oh, they really, seriously?

Shit.

Oh, shit.

I guess we're dead if we go to his house.

Yeah.

Not mine.

I'm just saying in general.

Just in general.

Yeah, I will attack me.

Really?

Yeah.

All right, we're going to come over.

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Are you an ass guy or a titties guy?

It depends on what you're wearing.

Right.

Okay, well, I'll tell you, she's wearing like a halter top, like a cute little halter top.

Her midrift is showing.

Her stomach is showing, flat stomach, beautiful.

Huh?

You're talking about a process?

No, she doesn't.

No, no, no, not anymore.

What's down below?

Huh?

What's down below?

She's wearing those pants that, you know, where that hugs your butt,

the stretchy pants where it goes into the crack of your ass.

You know which ones I'm talking about.

There's also a little compartment to hide the penis.

I don't know.

There's a little compartment where they talk.

They talk the penis, right?

I'm listening to him.

You didn't add that in there.

Show me the stretchy pants that like your butts.

He knows which ones I'm talking about.

And she's wearing, and she's shoeless.

She's shoeless.

No shoes.

And she's out on, she's outside at the park.

You know these pants that like right there.

Yeah, the ones that like your butt.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, those.

Those from the internet.

Butt crack leggings.

Yeah, and at the back, you can just see the tip of the penis tuck back.

Why?

Marco.

Why?

I don't know.

He hates it.

I'm sorry, Marco.

What?

You said I hate.

No, I didn't say that.

No, I said you hate that.

What?

penis i know don't say that

i'm sorry dude my bad i read it wrong you read it wrong yeah yeah yeah you read it how about this girl that's her right now you love that don't you bud now give me your intro line to her on instagram uh

somebody that kind of do that it's kind of like a too much attention i don't like somebody that kind of like earth trap you like someone to lay low you like yeah like i like to like you know like hide it a little bit do you like to jiggle or what what the jiggle what when the butt jiggles oh okay you're the butt i thought you was talking about something else jiggling no okay no more we're not doing that anymore no more okay yeah yeah yeah a penis doesn't jiggle by the way depends it just rises right depends

like a comet when you wake up you wake up in the morning and what do you do why do you keep asking me questions because i'm a normal human being hey hey why are you jumping he's asking you a real question okay what i do is respond okay so i wash my gi You know what I mean?

And, you know, I have a black belt with a stripe.

The stripe I can take off.

So I wash that, do a hand wash that, right?

And then I go to the dojo, right?

And I do, you know, me and my sensei, right?

We do some meditation.

We'll do some yoga.

Right.

And then, you know, I'll battle out.

You know what I mean?

I'll do some rounds with people.

Yeah.

Keanu sometimes comes over and we'll do some, you know what I mean?

Taekwondo.

Take me through your day.

When you wake up, what do you do?

What does Funny Marco do first thing in the morning?

I wake up.

I realize that, you know, my feet work because you never know.

God is good.

Yeah, I'll be thankful for that.

I listen to motivation, like Steve Harvey motivation.

And I always try to find.

Show me motivation.

We love Steve Harvey.

Yeah.

He's one of our friends.

Oh, that offended you.

Huh?

It was like.

That offended you.

It was like.

We love Steve Harvey.

It was like a push.

That did it.

It was a push.

It was a little snap.

It was like a black preacher.

Like, he went like that.

Show me motivation.

Show me motivation.

He says that on the show.

Yeah.

We did the show.

Yeah.

Yeah, I know, I know.

Did you do it?

I didn't.

Yeah.

Interesting.

It's like we did it.

You didn't.

We did it.

You didn't.

It just happened.

He's a godly man.

Are you a godly man?

You are?

Do you go to church?

I'm ADHD.

Right.

Oh, so you can't concentrate.

Yeah, I need some medicine.

They do need a church for ADHD.

They do.

How much money do you put in the basket when it comes to rice?

Oh, the most I put in there.

The most I put in there.

Because I was young.

Oh, you've been in a while.

What is this church?

That's a fun church.

Oh, yeah that's like a church i go to yeah yeah yeah that's how my church looks yeah that's how your church looks yeah yeah they got a 50 inch flat screen tv there yeah it's like the playground of my daughter

it's like where his daughter goes to the playground the most the most racist thing i've ever heard no he's saying his playground where his daughter goes to is diverse the most racist thing i've ever heard i'm just gonna write that down i have ever heard yeah write that down yeah yeah wow i apologize they're happy that's that's the celebration of hallelujah that's christ yeah That's the Lord getting in you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now, could I go in that church, you think?

No.

Yeah, you could.

Yeah, yeah.

And they would welcome me.

I'd rather you not.

Yeah, we definitely let him in.

I'd rather him not.

How much would you put in the pot?

100 bucks.

That's good.

Yeah.

Can I ask one more religious question, if I may?

Please.

Do you think Jesus would approve you having three babies from three different babies' mamas?

Yeah.

Yeah, I feel like, yeah, because they're going to do something in life.

That's right.

And they're going to save other people.

Good answer.

It also says in the Bible, be fruitful.

Yeah.

And you're being very fruitful.

Very good.

Yeah.

Be fruitful.

How many kids y'all got?

I have zero.

He has zero.

We have zero.

Oh, what do y'all like?

We pull out.

Blanks.

Shooting blanks.

No, we pull out.

You pull out or you back up.

What?

Yeah.

Do I back up?

Oh, do you back up?

No, I'm saying, do you back up?

He backs up.

No, I pull out.

Well, he usually falls out.

I fall out.

He'll fall right up.

I slip out.

Yeah.

I slip out.

There's nothing to grab onto.

That's good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I make a noise.

I say something usually.

What is your favorite sex word?

Excuse me?

What is your favorite sex word?

Oh, is it excuse me?

No, it could be.

It could be.

My favorite sex word.

Word, phrase.

Phrase.

Dang, that hoochie is stinky.

Yeah, dang that hoochiest stinky.

That's what you say.

That's usually what it is.

That's my favorite sound.

Yeah.

Dang, that's hoochiest.

What's yours?

What's yours?

I guess when I'm making love, it's like

back that ass up.

Back that ass up.

Back that ass up.

Yeah, I'll say that pretty frequently to my wife.

Back that ass up.

Yeah.

Baby doll, bake that, back that ass up.

Yeah, yeah.

And then I'll give her a little, get over here, back that ass up.

Yeah.

What do you say?

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

That's what you say.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

When you come?

Oh, yeah.

Well, no, it's just like, oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

What is the sound that you make when you orgasm people?

Oh, shit.

I really don't.

I really don't.

I don't make no orgasm.

I'm kind of trying to save the energy.

Right.

Right.

So you just protein.

You just, you just look at them.

No, sometimes you got to close your eyes.

Oh, you close your eyes.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah, I see that.

Yeah.

Like that?

No noise?

Don't do no noise.

Okay.

Put your eyebrows down.

Can't.

Can't.

Like that.

She's going to think it's stink if you look like that.

Okay.

Well, that's my face.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a good bit.

Shut up.

I try.

I try.

It's a good bit.

All right, if I can guess, can I guess?

Are you a car guy?

No.

You don't like cars?

You don't drive?

I do, but I don't care for cars.

You don't care at all.

What is the thing you like the most?

That's what's that's like what toy?

Like toys.

A lot of money I can buy.

Some I really, I couldn't even say because I didn't know I was going to have money to buy anything.

And now you have it, though.

Yeah, but I just, I like to help people.

That's beautiful.

That's it.

Oh, that's sweet.

I don't really.

It's not something like, oh, I knew I was going to get that or I want that.

Like PlayStation's, PS5s, and games.

I played a lot of games.

He loves video games i love video games i used to be into like wrestling man and stuff wwe was like my thing that was your shit yeah who was your guy oh i like mankind because he had different personalities right and mick foley hardcore they had different personalities right have you met any of your heroes uh i was upset when i found out kane undertaker wasn't brothers real brothers

and i was upset when the dudley boys wasn't real brothers i thought they was real brothers that fucked you up a lot

it's a lie yeah who who but who have you met that surprised you the most?

Except the Dudley Boys.

Yeah, the Dudley Boys for him.

Who surprised you the most that you've met someone?

You go, wow, I really like that person.

I didn't know if I'd like them.

Yeah, I thought they were brothers.

Yeah.

What do you think gave it away that they weren't?

It's just the way they dress.

Yeah,

it was just the energy.

Yeah.

The energy gave it away.

Something in the room.

Yeah.

What do you think about Diddy's 50-month sentence?

Too much, too little?

I don't know.

I don't get it.

Come on.

Don't do it.

Don't.

let us what you feel we know you know

let me tell y'all let me like can y'all listen to what if you pull up anything about me i don't get into people business because look right when you get when you believe in god god's gonna handle the real thing so i feel like when you're living on this earth people doing this and doing that but it's only one answer and that's where he's gonna decide God's gonna decide oh that's really can't nobody ever outdoor I'll tell you the judge decided he deserved 50 months so that was that was the judge's opinion yeah so if you were a jury member what would you have said I would be asleep.

I got ADHD.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Jury number 12 is asleep.

Read your DMs to Marco.

He'd like to see how one of the exchanges goes with the girls.

Yeah, here we go.

With what?

With any of the girls.

He wants to see the game, and we skipped right over the game.

Yeah, so here's one.

Can you read it?

Here.

Yeah, here we go.

So this one says,

hey, Jocelyn.

And Jocelyn wrote, hi, Bobby.

And

that was it.

That was the last time they talked.

That was it.

So that was that one.

Can you fight her back?

Here's another one.

Bobby, hey, you in L.A.

A day later.

Sorry, barely checked notifications.

Here for one more day.

Do you come often to NYC?

Never responded.

So his game is tight.

Pretty tight shit.

Why you don't respond?

He gets really over it.

Yeah,

if they live in, and when's the next time I'm going to be in NYC?

This and that.

I just like, you know, if you're in town, you're in L.A., then I'll take you out, whatever.

But other than that, nah, you know?

Yeah, all these, you stopped responding to literally all of these women.

And four of them sent the I emoji like this, you know, the double eyes.

Where are you?

Yeah.

I mean, this has gotten really bad.

I'm actually shocked.

Darn, come back.

Please come back.

Okay.

One more.

Okay.

Being real.

Yeah.

Hey, how are you?

Hey, Bobby, how are you?

And then literally a month later, she goes, Okay, well,

I'm on a show.

Would you like to give me some tips on being on camera?

And you responded, what do you think you said?

Nothing.

Yeah, you said nothing.

Yeah, one more time, you said nothing.

Pretty bad.

Oh, yeah.

So what is it?

Like, what is it?

He's afraid of commitment.

I'm not.

No, he really wants to commit again.

I think he's just not interested in girls that aren't interesting.

So what do you feel like his type is?

Someone who's dynamic.

Someone that's.

He's a dynamic person.

Someone that's got their own thing.

Their own thing going on.

You know what I mean?

He likes women that.

Like an arts and crafts store.

Right.

Like how Roseanne was.

Just like Roseanne Barr, just like Roseanne Barr.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Style-wise.

Style-wise.

You know, fashion.

From a fashion perspective, Roseanne is kind of like the kind of girls you date.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because Roseanne, I mean, this is kind of some of the stuff back then.

No, that's not.

Big, beautiful blouses.

Yeah, yeah.

I do.

I do love her.

Always carrying laundry.

Do you get along with her?

Roseanne?

Yeah.

We've never met.

We don't know each other.

Oh.

Do you love her?

I do love her.

Yeah, I don't know her.

I mean, I have that story I told you.

Do you remember her?

Yes, I do.

Yeah.

Do you want to meet Roseanne one day?

I would like to meet her.

Who's your comedy heroes?

Who in comedy do you love?

Steve Harvey.

We know that.

Show me.

I like him for motivations.

Yeah.

Okay, but not the comedy.

Okay,

I didn't know he did.

Stand up?

No.

He did for a long time, yeah.

I just thought he did motivations.

True.

Who's your hero now?

I love Day Chappelle because he just banned him.

Do you know?

Have you met Day?

I met him through Donnell Rowling.

Rolling.

Yeah, we love Donnell.

We love Donnell.

yeah he don't like you oh wait wait wait wait is that real yeah no wait wait wait are you being real how do you know this no I'm serious he don't like you yeah but what did he say I'm not gonna go back and forth about him yeah yeah you just said you stay out of people's business right I'm gonna call him yeah call Donnell yeah I can't I can't we can't have this

I don't this is that hurts that hurts dad It's also late where he is, so he might not answer because it's got to be one in the morning now.

Yeah.

If he's in New York.

That That really hurts that you said that because I thought we had something with him.

Him.

Oh, he doesn't like Bobby.

Yeah.

Oh, that's fine.

Leave a message.

No, no, no.

No, he said he doesn't like you.

I'm fine with it.

He did something about he was naked.

Oh.

Yeah.

What?

That's insane.

What?

I was naked.

Are you being real right now, Funny Marco?

I'm saying he's like, yo, the dick son is stuck in my head.

Son.

Yeah.

Oh, oh, yeah.

Son.

Yeah, yeah.

That is what he says.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's out of control, dude.

Just text him.

Do you not like me?

Why don't you like me?

Funny Marco says.

Okay.

And say goodnight, boo.

That is how you sign off.

Don't have his number.

He don't like me either.

Why not?

He's just

a different type of energy.

But it's like a bit like.

Yeah, but he.

Can I just say though, though?

He, whenever I do see him, he does hug me.

Yeah.

That's just to like not come off as racist.

Yeah, yeah.

And then he goes, you're a fool to me.

Yeah.

And he goes, get the fuck out of here.

Right.

That's telling you a lot.

That's telling me a lot.

Okay.

That's not good.

Not good.

So do you think he's racist underneath at all?

No.

He's not.

Are you racist?

No.

Not even a little bit.

Marco?

Come on.

No.

Just a little bit.

I mean, what is racist?

You know.

Don't tell me.

Bring up some pictures.

Yeah.

Let me know.

Because y'all can tell me something, though.

So

racism, and the NFL is actively fighting it right now, as I may say.

It's a pandemic.

So like not

liking a group of people because what they look like.

Well, practical discrimination

or just individual community or institution against a person, people based on their membership, a particular racial, ethnic group, typically, yeah, no,

no, you don't like either.

I go off with people off the experience that I meet them.

Everybody's different.

That's great.

Yeah.

That's like that's the good way to be.

I really don't.

Because if you took away color, then what?

What do you mean?

Everybody was the same color, then what?

If the world was black and white, right?

Then it's still.

We'd still see.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He'd probably be eliminated.

But what I'm saying is.

Eliminated.

Yeah.

What up?

i like that you're writing stuff down guess what it is though

i don't know if funny marco likes me he loves you i do yeah i told you i love hangover

see that's what i mean it's that kind of stuff i don't know what you mean well he knows i'm not in hangover no he doesn't he's not you're not in hangover no i'm not in hangover dude that's ken jung oh

oh my god

Well, now, was he on Mad TV?

Yeah.

Yes.

Hey, yeah.

Yeah.

Same guy.

See?

Yeah, yeah.

But you think we're the same guy?

I thought it was.

No.

Now, now, based on this photo, do you know that that's not me?

I know you're on Mad TV.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You had like screen time.

Yeah, I was on this channel.

Yeah.

Yeah, I had screen time.

Wow.

How old are you?

54.

I already told you.

Are you like, you sure?

Yeah.

Mad TV is like, how old was you when Mad TV was?

I was 30.

Oh.

24 years ago.

Do you remember it?

I do.

I remember it very well.

He was the guy that was

the guy that...

Stop.

Stop.

Stewart.

Yeah, Stuart McDonald.

Michael McDonald.

Yeah.

Yeah, good friend of ours.

He was a good friend of ours.

He's around.

He's doing great.

Great.

He works.

He's still directing a lot.

He's a director.

I think they should bring it back.

Yeah.

We do too.

Yeah.

We do too.

I don't know what it was about.

I just remember watching it as a kid, and it was just.

Sketch, just a sketch show.

Like, do you like Saturday Night Live or no?

I think Matt TV is better.

Yeah.

Thank you so much.

That's right.

Matt TV wasn't.

Most.

You had some writing to do on there?

I did some writing.

Yeah, yeah.

No.

I did.

No.

Actually, I did.

He He did.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he did.

Why did he do that?

No, no, he did.

No, why did he do that, though?

He did.

He did.

Yeah, he wrote a lot.

No, no, no.

I didn't write a lot, but I did write some stuff.

Why'd he do that?

He writes some stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hot dog.

And your last name is Lee.

Lee.

Yeah.

You guys are really pissing me off today.

Well,

keep writing it down.

Maybe it'll come to fruition.

What?

Where'd you get your last name from?

It's a good question.

That's the craziest.

It makes sense.

Yeah.

Well, my father, Bruce, had Lee.

Right.

Right.

And I just, you know, when he gave birth to me, I just took on the family name.

The Korean surname, Lee, originates from the Chinese character for plum.

Yeah.

Which is the shape of my testicle.

You don't think that's racist for them to have that at all?

No.

No, no, no, no, because that's real.

Okay.

The name of the Lee, the Chinese origin, delivered from the character meaning plum or plum tree.

It's actually pretty beautiful.

Yeah.

That's actually beautiful.

It is beautiful.

Lee sound like a plum, man.

I'm a plum, dude.

Like you would love to have.

Like, you sound respectable.

Because Lee is very, it's one syllable.

It's quick.

Lee.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you get married?

Do you get your name up?

No, no.

My wife would take on my name, no?

You don't want her name?

I don't know what her last name would be.

Give me an example of what her last name would be.

Henderson.

What?

Henderson.

Henderson?

Yeah.

Mark Henderson.

Bobby Henderson.

Bobby Henderson.

Yeah.

I like that.

I like that a lot.

Like Ricky Henderson.

Yeah, would you change your last name?

Would you change your last name?

I'm going to ask you a question.

No, no, I can't ask you.

You can't.

I'm going to ask you first.

Okay, go ahead.

I mean, I'm going to ask you second.

What do you sound Henderson sound like?

What race would you put that way?

Henderson.

Let me see.

That's a red.

Henderson.

Henderson.

Henderson?

What race would you feel?

White.

Okay.

Ricky Henderson was black, great baseball player.

Yeah.

Really?

Ricky Henderson was black?

Yeah.

It's a black last name.

It is?

It's a black last name.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Henderson.

It says right there, AI.

The surname Henderson is only for black people.

It says it right there in AI.

It originates from the Germanic given name Henry, meaning home ruler.

It's a patronomic name meaning

son of Henry.

It's a prominent Scottish surname.

Because the movie Harry and the Henderson, it's not a bunch of fucking black people.

It should have been.

Yeah, I know.

Go Google Harry and the Henderson.

Once again, Hollywood doing their thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Harry and the Henderson.

Taking roles away.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So let me say something.

Are you in that?

Oh, my God.

Yeah, that's the Hendersons, dude.

Let's tread lightly here.

Okay.

Why?

Yeah.

Let's tread lightly.

Why tread lightly?

Let's tread lightly here.

It's crazy.

Yeah, it's crazy.

For you to bring that up, let's just tread.

Why?

Because there's a white gorilla in it?

Let's tread as lightly as we possibly can.

Oh, wow.

You know, let's really, let's dance on the surface.

Let's do the Jesus Lizard and dance right across the water and not even touch it, really.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right.

You're right.

Point taken.

By the way, Harry is the dog.

That's the biggest bit about this whole thing.

thing.

Right.

And that's John Henderson.

Do you ever see that movie?

I have not.

You need to watch it.

Does it seem scary?

No, it doesn't seem scary.

It seems very relaxing.

Yeah, yeah.

This is actually a story about immigration.

That whole thing.

That's what that really was about.

Yeah.

Bring up Ricky Henderson, the baseball player.

One of the, one of the greatest of all that.

So this, so it was a black man then.

So maybe it changes.

It changes.

There he is.

Ricky, the dog.

Oh, shit.

One of the best.

Rest in peace.

He passed 2021, maybe.

When did he die?

2024.

Oh, my God.

God, it was that recently.

Short in his years.

Just last year.

Would you change your last name?

I got two last names.

Okay.

Henderson and Summers.

Oh, so.

I go back and forth.

But if he met a woman and she's like, you need to have my last name.

Would you do it?

Well, how you talking?

It sounds like it's going to be a Lee.

No, my last name, Hotorito.

I could take it.

Okay.

Yeah, Hotorito, though.

Yeah, Jorito totally.

I like that.

Okay, good.

Yeah.

I would take that last name.

Okay, cool.

See, I think when you get married, you guys should make up a new last name.

That's my theory.

That's dope.

They should just make up a new last name.

Yeah.

It's a new fan.

Oh, this is fun.

You come up with half and then you finish it.

Right.

So go ahead.

Which one?

A last name?

Yeah, just start.

Well, I had a last name that he's going to finish it.

You can create a new last name.

Half of a last name.

Go ahead.

And go.

Funny Marco.

So start a half of a last name.

Funny, what the fuck?

It's coming to me.

Okay.

Her?

Gazer.

Her gazer.

Her gazer.

Love this game.

You didn't do her like

Hertzen or nothing?

No, her gazer.

Yeah.

Hey, man, you do your thing.

I do mine.

Yeah.

I'll give you one and you finish it.

I want to play.

Okay.

Sit this one out.

Okay.

Okay, ready?

I'll give you one.

Yeah, yeah.

Shan?

Penis.

Shan Penis.

I did know that was going to go that way.

Yeah, give me another real.

I'll see that coming.

Yeah.

Let's be real.

I'll do it real.

Bane.

Merkall.

Bane Merkel.

Yeah.

Mr.

and Mrs.

Bain Merkle.

Why do you say Merkal like that?

Yeah, it's got instead of a Scottish twang.

It's a Scottish.

English is your second language.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What do you feel like when you're on stage?

Do y'all sometimes have a moment where it just seems so like you could just, it's like it just in the Matrix, something just hits you like, God damn, I'm really on stage.

Like sometimes you can really

where you kind of feel it's surreal, where you don't even know, like, oh my God.

Yeah.

Like you just like a tunnel where you just go.

Yeah.

That's kind of how it feels sometimes.

And then I wake up, I'm in a pod.

dripping wet.

Dripping wet in a pod.

Not no fantasies.

I'm talking about real life.

Real life.

I got to tell you, 18 coughs later, you're definitely sick.

There's no chance.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what?

That's allergy.

Okay, let me say something.

You're going to have that cough.

You know, we're going tomorrow.

We're going to get sick.

Oh, yeah.

No, it's fine.

Okay, so I have mucus, and it's coming out.

Yeah, that's when you're sick.

Yeah, that's sick.

It's not, it's mucus.

It's

allergy mucus.

Allergy mucus.

Yeah, yeah.

How often do allergies create a cough?

I only cough 17 times since I've been here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

17 or 18, yeah.

How long have you been sick?

How long?

About two months.

Oh, okay.

That's why you laugh.

Oh, just because that's a big sickness.

Two months is longer than it should be.

No, it ain't.

That's like normal.

Average sickness.

What are your symptoms right now?

Sore throat?

No, my throat is.

What's your manager's name again?

Jackie.

Jackie.

Is he sick?

He has allergies.

Yeah.

Good Good manager.

That's like a really good manager.

Good fucking manager.

Can I ask y'all a question?

Because I was arguing with my brother about this.

I stopped wearing pull-ups at the age six, going on seven.

When did y'all stop?

Diapers?

Pull-ups.

Same thing, I think.

You piss in those, yes?

Yeah.

Those are diapers, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, what's the normal age to get out of?

To get out of diapers?

Yeah.

16.

I was three.

I was probably around three or four, right?

Yeah, I was six, going on seven.

Did you wet the bed as a kid?

No, I had a pull-up on.

But when when after.

Yeah.

But you pee in the pull-up while you were in bed.

No, no, after you were six, did you wet the bed?

Did you shit or pee?

Did you have a bed wetting problem at all as a kid?

No, after I got out of the pull-ups, six, going on seven.

You were straight.

But I thought that's the average age.

What's the average age to get out of diapers?

Between two and three.

When do people get out of diapers?

Two, maybe three, sounds right.

Four is a late, that's a late bloomer.

Funny marker, do you ever shit your pants?

Well, I guess, you know, shard it before yeah yeah that's what i meant i was trying to show out and try to fart but yeah that was it so okay when's the last time it happened i don't do that no more okay

two and four

that was right two and four is about so why did i why are they six to seven i don't know maybe underdeveloped well maybe maybe you needed an extra a little bit extra time some people need a little bit more time

normal schools too normal schools yeah yeah you mean like um yeah were we slow are we slow i wouldn't call it slow we didn't we went did you need special attention we did yeah yeah did you yeah

we did you really didn't need special intention like what what kind

well i was in a program called care

care stands for children and

real experts something so it's an alternative school for those that learn different correct that's kind of what it is yeah yeah

y'all been having headphones the whole time y'all can hear me yeah

can you hear us?

No, y'all didn't.

Yeah, I'm saying y'all.

Do you want them?

They're right here.

Oh, y'all didn't tell me.

We have them, but you've been doing so fine without them.

Do you want them?

I mean, y'all didn't tell me.

But you look good.

We didn't want to fuck up your hat.

Yeah, yeah.

Wow, you got Pussaci in here.

Yeah, Pussaisi's in this motherfucker.

Try them.

I just didn't want to fuck up your hat.

It's Triumph.

Does that sound better now?

Yeah.

Yeah, better.

You want to keep them on?

Yeah, I like them.

Okay.

God bless.

God bless you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Strip clubs are big in Atlanta.

Do you go to those?

Yeah, you got to support strip clubs.

You have to.

What's your favorite one?

I like Blue Flame.

You got Magic City.

Magic City is pretty standard.

Yeah.

Blue Flame.

Yeah.

Do you befriend the dancers?

Do you know them personally?

Yeah, I get to hear their story, why they ended up there.

If they dad know they, why they in here?

That's the first question I ask.

Do your mom know you do this?

And what do they say usually?

Why would you ask that?

And what do you say in return?

I just want to know, kind of like, you know, getting to know their background.

Right.

It's important.

Have you ever dated a stripper?

Yeah.

You have?

Yeah.

More than one?

I had one solid one.

Yeah, one good one.

From the flame.

Father is suing Atlanta Gentleman's Club after son is shot dead outside of Blue Flame.

Deshaun Marquise Lee.

Ah, what do you know?

Deshaun Marquise Lee Hendren.

Now, this is a guy that took a few last names.

Yeah.

After a fight inside the Blue Flame Lounge spilled into the nearby parking lot.

When was this shooting?

Trust me, it's a good club.

I know.

It was a long time ago.

Look at that.

Three years ago.

Three years ago.

That's so far removed.

R.I.P.

to him, too.

Yeah.

R.I.P.

to that, gentlemen.

That's terrible.

The Blue Flame Lounge, though.

They have $5 pancakes.

Wow.

Not bad.

Have you had the food there?

Uh, nah.

Okay.

I only eat food from like, you know, everywhere.

Where do you get food from then?

Uh, papado's.

Only Papados.

And then do you cook it?

Do you cook at home?

Yeah, I cook at home.

I like cooking.

You do?

Yeah.

What would you make us if we came over?

We came over.

What was it?

You got some fried chicken.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Sorry.

I shouldn't have gone that deep.

fried chicken yeah fried chicken with some uh fries french fries yeah

anything else some ketchup and hot sauce yeah ketchup and hot sauce what's it what salad or what are you drinking

liquor no liquor okay are you a drinker no i drink mike's hard lemonade right that's it you get high

no like coughing right no drugs just like i smoked before but it was hard to cough like yeah i did an edible before and it was just like that was just oh so you're you're no more of that.

Yeah, there's edibles.

Yeah.

And that was like powerful.

It's heavy.

Those are powerful.

Yeah, they're heavy.

But Mike's Hard Lemonade, you like.

Yeah, that was to get me on the buzz.

I like those sometimes.

These are those.

Three of those in your set.

Yeah.

I used to drink those in high school all the time.

Why you say it like that?

I used to drink them in high school all the time.

I know, but why you say it like I used to?

Because I don't do it anymore.

Oh.

Just past tense.

They're too sweet for me.

Yeah.

When you get older, you start to feel that way.

Yeah, sugar, too much sugar.

Like, you don't like desserts?

Like, I don't like Mike's Hard Lemonade.

How old are you?

We don't know how old you are.

I'm 32.

Okay.

Yeah.

You said it like he wasn't going to answer.

I love you.

You look like a backup quarterback.

I love you.

I look like a backup quarterback.

I'll take that.

You look like a backup quarterback.

I'll take that.

What do I look like?

What's his name?

Rush.

If y'all look up,

look up the Baltimore quarterback right now.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

I got tagged a lot online by that guy.

People said I look like that guy.

Man, you are sick.

I'm not.

There's no way that's it.

There I am.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's you.

That's awesome what do i like do me do me now uh bob does know that's not an insult he's that's fantastic to be in the nfl do i look i look like i'm in the nfl that's a good that's a good thing huge and you're still going like you smart yeah watch what he gives me now what is he gonna have hella interceptions oh what is what does he look like uh type in panda panda express panda express workers

Not gonna lie, you do look like three of the five.

I don't know.

That's a Mexican woman.

That's a Mexican woman.

Or maybe the owners.

Yeah, yeah.

Is that Mr.

Express right there?

Do you own?

Look,

do you know why I've never seen a black Chinese worker?

Like, I mean, I've never seen a black person working at a Chinese restaurant.

Why not?

Why isn't there not a black person working at a Chinese restaurant?

Yeah, they don't hire.

I asked for an application before.

They didn't give me.

You wanted to work at Panda Express?

Not that one.

No, they hired black people.

A Chinese restaurant.

Like if you walked into a soul food restaurant, you don't want to see white people back there working.

Yeah.

It happened.

Really?

If you saw an Asian guy, do you want some clit?

You know, you want cauliflower?

Color cream?

You wouldn't like it.

It happened.

It happened at Papa's churches.

What?

No, no, no.

That's fast food.

That's different.

He's talking about like a family-owned restaurant is different.

Because I guarantee you there's a black guy that works at a Panda Express.

I bet my life is.

It is.

Yeah.

Okay, yeah.

But at a family-owned restaurant,

I don't think so.

No, you're not going to get that.

You're not going to get that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like a cracker barrel.

Yeah.

My parents own a couple Cracker Barrels.

Yeah.

We won't hire anybody but Crackers.

And they kept the barrel and that man on the sign.

And they better.

And they better bring it back.

Yeah, yeah.

Donald Trump.

Have you been to Cracker Barrel?

No, I've never been there.

It's great breakfast.

You like breakfast?

I really don't eat breakfast.

Who told you?

You don't eat anything.

I eat at night.

Late at night.

Are you having fun?

Yeah.

I got to learn a lot about y'all.

And this is a moment because everybody in this room is going to die eventually.

But we created a moment.

We did.

We did.

I think we did.

I'd like to not die.

We came inside each other.

Like, came inside the room.

We came inside the room.

I think we did come inside.

That part's true.

That part's not true.

That part.

Okay.

I'm saying, like, from spiritually hearing you.

Spiritually, we did come.

I think our energies combined.

Yeah, but it came inside.

I don't think so.

I think our energies met.

My energy came inside you.

Right.

Yeah.

I could feel it.

Yeah, yeah.

I could feel it too.

You know, and I don't feel it.

I didn't pull out.

I feel it.

Yeah, I didn't pull out.

No, it's always going to to stick with me.

Yeah, it's going to stick inside you.

I'm going to go in.

Yeah.

Go to YouTube.

And I'm going to watch Mad TV tonight.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm going to watch your videos.

Will you show it to your son tomorrow?

What, the Mad TV?

Yeah, show your son Mad TV.

Why not?

How many, what skits?

What's the skit that you're in that you remember?

That was big.

What's the one that you did?

I did a punch, but I don't remember.

What was the big one?

Like, you're like, this is a good one.

I did.

No, don't do all of that.

Uh-oh, hot dog was huge.

North Korean scientist was big.

North Korean scientist?

U.S.

Connie Chung was big.

No, North Korean Scientist is my biggest one.

Yeah, that one was huge.

That's me and my brother Steve.

Huge.

Yeah, that was a great one.

You was in Pineapple Express?

I had one line in that, yes.

He was in it?

Yeah.

How do you remember?

He was in the van in one cutaway scene.

Yeah, yeah.

And that was me and the guy from Hangover.

And that's why he confused you.

That does make sense.

They're almost one in the same.

No one in the same, yeah.

That's you, right?

Do you have any?

Yeah, it is me.

there, there I am again.

Marco, do you have any burning questions to ask us before we end this interview?

I don't burn.

Oh, no.

I'm uh, do you have any honest questions to ask us before we end?

Uh, what do you see yourself in, like, you know,

like 20 years?

What do y'all see yourself?

Hmm.

Well, I'll be 74.

I just feel like I'll be on a beach somewhere tanning, drinking some sweet drink.

Yeah, getting my dick set.

I'll be 60,

62.

What I say.

You think I'll be dad?

Yeah.

62.

I'll be living in the woods in Canada somewhere.

So he's going to be out of your life for sure.

100%.

Yeah.

This is only going to last a couple of weeks.

We got to enjoy these moments.

That's what I mean.

He'll be writing his manifesto.

Right.

He's going to make things, send it in the mail.

Yeah.

I won't send it to you, though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

But some people.

Yeah, I don't check my mailbox.

Yeah, please don't.

Yeah.

And then.

Where are you going to be in 20 years?

you'll be 52.

I won't be 52.

I'm 32 now.

I'll probably, what, 20 years?

Be 52.

I'll be, what, 42?

42?

52.

Oh,

52, same thing.

It's pretty close.

Yeah, yeah.

You'll be almost his age.

In 20 years, you'll still be younger than Bob.

I'm going to be living in a...

That's crazy to think.

Yeah, it's gross.

Yeah, it's gross.

That's weird.

Yeah.

I'll probably just be living in.

I wanted like a dope

tree house.

A dope tree house.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Would you build it?

No, hell no.

No.

I'll pay somebody to do it.

Yeah, it's just, I don't.

You're emotionally healthy.

Yeah, it's okay.

I probably get mad two times a month.

What do you get mad about?

Probably getting Madden.

Fucked up my record.

In Madden?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That'll set you off a little bit.

It's that.

What team do you play with in Madden?

I was playing with the Chiefs.

It's all to play with, but I play with Philadelphia Eagles because the Eagles, because they're cheat.

Because they cheat.

Yeah, I don't like the Eagles.

But you play them.

They got a good squad.

Yeah, they do.

But the Chiefs are going back to the Super Bowl.

You think so?

I know so.

You do?

Yeah.

Interesting.

You heard it here?

It's part of the storyline.

It is part of the storyline.

Yeah.

They need to go back.

Yeah.

Okay.

I believe in you.

Funny Marco.

It's been more than a pleasure to have you on my birthday.

I'm going to take a birthday, every fucking guest.

No, no, no, no.

It's been more than a pleasure to have you on my birthday episode.

Oh, wow.

This has been an actual great birthday.

And I will get sick.

Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah.

Azaz.

Azaz?

Cream here?

Yeah.

Do we have what?

Cake and ice cream.

Do they bring it out right now?

We already did that.

You don't want Tirasamasu.

Is it vanilla?

Tiramasu.

Tiramasu.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is it chocolate or vanilla?

It's got all of it in there.

It's got all of it.

You want to try it?

It's all of it in there?

Give it to me.

Just try it.

I don't like a piece.

Huh?

You don't like to mix?

Just try a piece.

I like stuff straight up.

You have multicultural babies.

You definitely like to mix.

Okay.

Am I wrong?

Yeah.

You have multicultural children, so you love to mix.

Is that wrong?

You're right.

Yeah.

You want to beautiful babies.

Yeah, taking me through there.

See?

Thank you for watching being a bad friend.