We're Leaving LA w/ Jimmy O Yang

Speaker 1 This episode of Bad Friends is presented and fueled by Huel, your go-to for complete nutrition. Try Hule with 15% off today using code bad friends at my.hewell.com/slash bad friends.
Hey, bad friends,

Speaker 1 this week I'm going to be in Philly and in New York. I'm playing the Met and the Beacon.
I'm so very excited and so humbled. I cannot believe I get to play two beautiful venues: New York and Philly.

Speaker 1 Come out and see me. Then I'm doing San Diego and Phoenix and San Francisco.
We added a show. Then I'm going to be doing Boston, going over to Boston, my friends.

Speaker 1 And then I'm finishing this tour in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Come see me in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
I'm doing four shows. That's where I'm shooting my special.
I'm so very excited.

Speaker 1 Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets, andrewsantino.com. You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends. Dude, did you fall asleep last night? No, bro.
Yeah, you did. No, no, no.
I liked your... No, you got.
Today you liked it. No, no, I liked it.

Speaker 1 But you're saying that I could have died. No, I liked it at 4 in the morning.
I promise you.

Speaker 1 I could see the phone right now. Yeah, you could see it.
Well, what can you see? That I did it at 4 in the morning. I know.
Oh, God. I could have died last night.
You definitely couldn't have died.

Speaker 1 He. He could have died last night.
No, he could have killed me. Well, he's sick right now, too.
Are you sick? Yeah. From the fires, dude.
It's the smoke. No, he's sick.
You know he's sick.

Speaker 1 Those are meth nose. Meth nose.
Meth nostrils. I've never done meth.
Those are nostrils. Those are meth nostrils.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Bobby texted me at 3 in the morning saying like doors were unlocked and to come in if the fire hits. That's sexy.
No, it's not, dude. No, that's not sexy.
It's not sexy. No.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought that was sexy. No, I had everything set up.
I had the cat crates, everything set up. And I liked it an hour later.

Speaker 1 No, dude, I could have died. Because I fell asleep knowing that you were my garden angel and y'all could have died.
Angels need to take naps. You say last night, what happened?

Speaker 1 You're saying garden angel? Garden angel, dude. Like he lives in the garden? That's right, dude.

Speaker 1 My little garden angel. He's a garden angel, dude.
He's a lumnum, dude. He is, kind of.
So last night,

Speaker 1 when time did you get in? I kept texting you on the flight. I kept texting you from the sky.
I landed at 10.35. My God.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. I saw the smoke the whole way.
It was wild. Wow.
I saw the fires the whole way. Last night,

Speaker 1 I texted Carlos because I was so tired. I go.

Speaker 1 So just, I'm going to fall asleep, but just in case,

Speaker 1 if it gets out of control, I'm going to leave my bedroom door open.

Speaker 1 Hot. Yeah.
And then

Speaker 1 wake me up.

Speaker 1 I have the bags packed. Yeah.
Get the cats in the cradle. Cats in the cradle and the silver spoon.
LA is on fire.

Speaker 1 And it's Newsom's Falls. Yeah, yeah.
So it's that mayor we have. Where are you going to? Hey, Los Angeles.
This is Mayor Karen Bear. Yeah, where are you going, baby? She's done, dude.

Speaker 1 She's done, dude. Right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. She's cooked.
She's done, dude. Why? She stayed silent there interviewing me.
Dude, that was crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 There are some sweet British guys like, Madam Mayor, have you got anything to say

Speaker 1 to the people of Los Angeles?

Speaker 1 You cut

Speaker 1 the fire department fund and all that stuff. And she kept it quiet.
But last night, right? So I'm like, I fell asleep. I'm like, okay, Carlos has me.
This morning, he liked my thing,

Speaker 1 which means that he himself slept through it. So if my house is on fire, I'd be dead.
You'd be dead. But I was texting you the whole night.
I texted you back and forth.

Speaker 1 In fact, I got a call from Kalila.

Speaker 1 How many calls did you get from Kalila? Yesterday. Two.
Well, I got a call mid-flight, and I texted. I was like, I can't answer.
I'm on a plane. Yeah.

Speaker 1 By the way, why can't I answer? I'm on a plane. Can't they just make it available for us to take a call on a plane? It'll interfere with the radio.
No, it won't. There's no way that's there's no way.

Speaker 1 There's no way.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of things they should like closing the windows when you're landing. What's that all about? Give me a break.

Speaker 1 I know why they do that. Why? So when it's on fire, you can't see it.
You can't see it.

Speaker 1 So no one, right? Yeah, so you don't panic, right? No. Here's another one.
Tray table. Why does that have to be up? Up or down or whatever, whatever.
Shouldn't matter. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And by the way, if the plane crashes, the tray table, I want it to cut me in half. I don't let it sever me in half.
Well, it would hit your head because they want you to bend over.

Speaker 1 Well, they want you to eat your own balls. It's such a weird thing.
They like tuck your head in your lap. Another one.
Here's another one that drives me crazy. Give it to me.

Speaker 1 I feel like we're doing hacky road stuff.

Speaker 1 What is that one driving? And flying. Was that Seinfeld?

Speaker 1 Not good? Well, you just did it.

Speaker 1 That was my deal. What's the deal with flying? What's the deal with flying?

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 another one is

Speaker 1 some of you poor folk,

Speaker 1 some of you poor folk might not know this one. Okay.

Speaker 1 I want to see if you can guess. All right.

Speaker 1 You can have the waist,

Speaker 1 right? But what else do they want in first class sometimes? What are you talking about? Have the waist? The waist seatbelt. Yeah.
Right? There's another thing they tell you to do.

Speaker 1 Sit up straight.

Speaker 1 Shoulder one. Oh, the strap one? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right? Double strap. It's like, I'm already this.
Why do I need that? Yeah, they need, we want this, too. Because you fold in half.

Speaker 1 Oh, is that what it is? Yeah, you'll fold in half. I don't know.
You know what? There's no logic to it, but I will say this.

Speaker 1 You can't tell me. We have people that live in space, right? We have someone that lives at the International Space Station.
They live in space.

Speaker 1 You can't tell me the plane can't have a separate radio for me taking a phone call? Dude, that's a good point, dude. What are you talking about? I've got a letter, dude.

Speaker 1 Karen Bass. Will you start to write a letter to Karen Bass? Write a letter to Karen Bass.
Dear Karen Bass. Why can't you figure this radio plane stuff out? Okay, I have another one.
Get it.

Speaker 1 The fucking seatbelt signs on, right? Yeah, ding. You have diarrhea.
Every flight. Me too.
Literally, every flight. So I get up, see, right? And the

Speaker 1 stewardess goes, what do you call them? Flight intendant goes. Yeah.
You have to sit, right? And I go, but you're standing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Cirque sole. Whoa.
Do you think you have better balance than me, circa sole? Cirque di Sole, but yes. Whatever, right?

Speaker 1 I bet you money. I want to say this.
Circa Soleil. Yeah, I want to see it.
Ole. Ole.

Speaker 1 She does a forever.

Speaker 1 I want to look her in the eyes and I go, I bet you money, lady. She sounds like.

Speaker 1 Who knows? Right? If we were on one of those longs on the leg, I would win. 100%.
Right? Not even a good one. Don't pretend that you're log champion.
You're not.

Speaker 1 You know that one with you know, you know that one? Yeah, that one. That's a log champion.

Speaker 1 Look at my form. Look, look, look, look.
Look at my form. Now it's going backwards.
Yeah, switch. Switch.
So

Speaker 1 you know how they go switch, they go forward and they go backwards.

Speaker 1 What I'm saying is that no, if you're standing, I stand. If you stand, I stand.
Don't you think? Stand up for your right to fight. Would you have any other flight ones?

Speaker 1 I'll tell you one right now because this is crazy. Okay.
And this applies to everybody.

Speaker 1 They entice you on these frequent flyers. You know, they're like, ooh, you get miles, right? Like, it means shit.
It doesn't mean shit. It doesn't mean diarrhea.
They lie.

Speaker 1 So here's what happens. I'm in Terminal 5.
I'm about to fly on JetBlue because it shares it with American. I flied American my whole career.
We've been on the road. You know why?

Speaker 1 Because you're an American. God bless.
God is good. God bless American, my

Speaker 1 friend.

Speaker 1 No, but look, I've been an American customer because my dad was when we traveled a lot. Now I've switched a lot back and forth, but I have over a million miles on American.
Over a million, right?

Speaker 1 And check this out.

Speaker 1 I politely go to the lounge and I say to the woman, hey, I know I'm not traveling American today.

Speaker 1 I'm traveling JetBlue. It's the same terminal.
They don't have a lounge, but I want to get something to eat because I haven't eaten. I'm running around.
I haven't eaten.

Speaker 1 I go, is it cool if I go in there?

Speaker 1 and she goes, you have to fly American. I go, can I show you my, I've, I, I have my loyalty or whatever.
And she's like, no, I don't care. And I have the card.

Speaker 1 And I was like, no, I mean, please, just please, can I just get like a coffee and something to eat? I haven't eaten all day. She's like, no, you have to be flying American.

Speaker 1 And I said, I have over a million miles. What else do you want me to do? Dude, I give your company so much money every year.
I'm not saying I'm entitled, but it's like, dude, cut me a break.

Speaker 1 Can I get a coffee and a fucking donut? I fly with you guys a million fucking miles a year. I don't want to fight with you.
Start it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Start it.
I don't want to.

Speaker 1 No, start it.

Speaker 1 I don't want to start another fire. No, start it.

Speaker 1 I don't want to start another fire. Start one in this room.
And then we'll get an alert. By the way, we get an alert on our phone.
Man, Matt and Bobby goes, you're telling the whole city to evacuate.

Speaker 1 I was like, read it. I was mentioning common things that normal people go through, right?

Speaker 1 And you had to throw in. Oh, the first class strap was a common thing, you fucking liar.
You fucking liar.

Speaker 1 This is what the fans don't know

Speaker 1 you're a fucking liar no you're a liar he started off by saying the poor people liar i never said that yeah you did roll the tape oh yeah i did yeah he did okay here's what he does he plays this victim card and the fans think like poor innocent bobby dude he's a brat you guys don't know you guys are so out of your element and by the way everybody can get access to a lounge that's not like a privileged thing if you travel with an airline enough you can go to the lounge it doesn't matter how many points you have you can go and by the way and by the way little boy you didn't have any status until I signed you up for all of your freaking fire because I said, I'm trying to help you out.

Speaker 1 Another thing you don't fucking take care of.

Speaker 1 I didn't listen to a word you just said. Let me say something.
I know you did. Carla, and you've been to the airport with him, right? Oh, yeah.
What's up with him in the lounge?

Speaker 1 He's always like, meet me in the lounge. What am I? I'm like, I don't want to go to the lounge.
I want to go get a snack. I want to get a snack.
We get food. We have money.

Speaker 1 We can go to Dunkin' Donuts.

Speaker 1 Why would I pay when I can just sit down and get a bunch of people? You don't have chocolate donuts in the lounge. Well, you should stop getting Dunkin' donuts.
It's kid mentality. Like McDonald's.

Speaker 1 He's a child. McDonald's over cafeteria food.
Yeah. I'll take, I'll take.

Speaker 1 He said, George. It's shitty food.
It's airplane. Oh, lounges aren't cafeteria food.
No, no, no, but I know what he's saying. It's, it's comparative.

Speaker 1 My point is, I just want to have like a cup of coffee and sit down and relax because you get to the gate and you're like, well, there's nowhere to sit.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to stand here like a fucking dildo waiting for the flight. And then it's not worth it.
I'd rather go to the lounge, get a cup of coffee, sit down, read some emails.

Speaker 1 It's so, that's why every time I invite, by the way, when we do go to the lounge together, you fucking liar, you love it.

Speaker 1 You're a fucking liar. When we were in Australia and went in the lounges, you fucking loved it.
Didn't you?

Speaker 1 Didn't you?

Speaker 1 Liar.

Speaker 1 Dude, you're such a liar.

Speaker 1 The fact that the fans don't fucking know who you really are,

Speaker 1 it bums me out. Crazy.
No, I test Australia. You listen to yourself.
You fucking out every day. My tea is way up right now, dude.
I want to kiss you. Fuck you.
Okay,

Speaker 1 one last thing, and then we'll move on from thing.

Speaker 1 They should have,

Speaker 1 obviously, at the gate, a first-class line. Oh, boy.
This is relatable.

Speaker 1 This will be a relatable. And then they should have, they should, I'm not done.
Okay. They should have the groups, you know? So you have group B, C, whatever, the lettering of the number.

Speaker 1 One, two, whatever the numbers.

Speaker 1 There's always numbers. Go ahead.
Okay.

Speaker 1 You wanted to start a fight, dude. You even said it.
Okay.

Speaker 1 But what so what they should have done? No, I'm not done yet, though.

Speaker 1 So then they should have also a line that they don't have, right? For is

Speaker 1 for the Chinese. I know it.
Dude, I knew you were going to see it. Because I'll tell you why.
Okay. They cut.

Speaker 1 No, that's what. They don't know how it works.
Yes, they do. I know they do.

Speaker 1 But they pretend that they don't. And I love them.
So their whole thing is, what's going on right here?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I love Chinese. They cut.
They cut. They cut.
And they go in the first class line. Dude, sometimes you'll see a Chinese couple, an older Chinese couple.
Yeah. And they'll go with the

Speaker 1 needs more time, like the disabled people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've seen them walk with the veterans. I've seen them with the military.
Yeah, with the veterans. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You're not in the Marines. And he beeps his phone.

Speaker 1 He beeps his phone. He's like, right.
Whoa. Yeah.
I'm medica. You know what I love, though? This is what I love.
I love that the chat.

Speaker 1 When they get to the ticket person, right? They go, how about the me? Right?

Speaker 1 How about the me? And then they go, no, you're, you're, you're, you're

Speaker 1 seven. Seven.
You're at the end. And then they're, then they have to go, and I always make a face.
I always go. I love it.
See, when they walk by me, I go, nice try.

Speaker 1 It's a nice try. You got to let them swing.
Okay, I'll give you one for the boarding bullshit. I'll give you one back.

Speaker 1 It doesn't make any sense, and it never has that we don't board back to front. Why wouldn't the back of the plane board first? It doesn't make sense.
It doesn't make sense.

Speaker 1 You're boarding the front, and it's jamming up. Let people in the back go first.
Are you saying this? Are you put first class first and then go back? No.

Speaker 1 Because I'll tell you why that's the first class should go last. I'll tell you why not.
Why? Because you're going to know this, okay? You like to stare at the people as they walk by.

Speaker 1 That's number one.

Speaker 1 I have my face. I know.
And I do this.

Speaker 1 I sit like this and i always have my hand out like this right and when they when they lock guys i go like this i go oh move on yeah like move on don't look don't look all right yeah and if you get to the comfort plus section and the bags don't fit because there's no bag room yeah they burn they light your bag on fire in front of you that's a very good one right in front of you here's what i don't i don't like okay

Speaker 1 my shit's up there right some guy's late he moves it not just moves it he does something different like he tries to fucking touch

Speaker 1 it he tries to tetris it right i get and he he puts his stuff, jams yours twisted. You have no idea what's in mine.
I could have some biohazard material. And you sometimes do.
I sometimes do, right?

Speaker 1 So don't touch mine and Tetris my shit. Because you could set it off.
Yeah, I just don't touch my shit. I always say that to him.

Speaker 1 Next time they're moving, it'd be like, ooh, that's going to trip the wire.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I wouldn't do that, dude. It will go off.
Yeah, so those are my things. Those are your rules.

Speaker 1 How about this one? Okay. I did a nice thing.
Yeah. I did a switch.
Will you switch me seats? I did a nice thing. You got your blue chew? Yeah.
I did a switch me thing, you know?

Speaker 1 Can I I have my husband and I can sit the thing? Yeah, of course. No problem.
I'll do it. I'll do it anytime.
Someone asks. No big deal.
You do? I do when they ask. How about this? Would you do this?

Speaker 1 Huh?

Speaker 1 If you were an aisle or a window? Sure. And you had to be a window, a middle to do it.

Speaker 1 It's six. How long is the flight? Six hours long.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Six hours.
That's correct. Come on.
So you so I'm the guy. This is

Speaker 1 time dependent. Excuse me, sir.
Yeah, how are you, man?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, we got our tickets late, and so me and my wife, we don't have seats next to each other, but if you switch to my wife, you know, she can sit next to me. So can you switch, please?

Speaker 1 She's got the middle.

Speaker 1 I don't.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know how.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're not from this country? Excuse me.
Yeah, I know. I'm speaking right away.
Right away. See, how would you handle it? Ready? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Excuse me, sir. Sir? Excuse me, sir.
Hi. Hey, my wife and I booked tickets late, and we're actually going to my mom's funeral.

Speaker 1 And do you think we could switch seats so I could sit next to my wife, sir?

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, oh, my God.

Speaker 1 You know what I do in that situation? I go right to the flight attendant and I go, hey, can you just move this guy? Because he won't know the difference. No, no.
But

Speaker 1 I did it deaf and blind. Right, right, right.
You weren't looking at me. I wasn't looking at you, right? So you got to go deaf and blind.
Deaf and blind.

Speaker 1 And then if that doesn't work, you go a little bit of like twisty. You pulled a helmet.
You pulled a helen Keller. Yeah, yeah.
Like you go to Keller. Yeah.
So that's good. Pull a Keller.

Speaker 1 Would you pull a Keller?

Speaker 1 On a flight? Yeah, yeah. No, but my favorite thing to do when someone's talking to you on a flight, sitting next to you, I like to make up a life.

Speaker 1 If they don't know, if they've never seen me, or like if they don't know who, they're like, what are you going to Charleston for? Yeah. It's a fun opportunity to be like,

Speaker 1 I'm an engineer. I'm an aerospace engineer, and I'm going to a conference right now.
We're actually developing a way to shoot down Chinese spaceships. Oh, wow.
I'll just make shit. Oh, that's good.

Speaker 1 It's fun. Who fucking cares? And that guy's like, whoa.
Yeah, I pretend. And then he goes and tells someone and they start a Reddit thread.
And then they do that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When they ask me, I've had like older white dudes ask me, like,

Speaker 1 where's your family from? Right? And you already know what he wants to know. Oh, yeah.
Because if you tell him you're Korean, then he has a story. I don't want to hear it.

Speaker 1 I don't want to hear the story. I went to Seoul.
Yeah, yeah. Or yeah, or like his grandfather was in the war.

Speaker 1 I used to exclusively date Asian women.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I knew who that is.
So I go. I'm George.
Yeah, that's him. So I just make up a place.
Oh, where are you from? Bongbong. You're from Bongbong.
Yeah, yeah, Bongbong. How far is that from?

Speaker 1 Bongbanese. Oh, Bongbanese.
Yeah, yeah. Bongbong Island.
Oh, it's an island. Yeah, yeah.
And we're known for, if you want to know. I would love to.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We have a special kind of corn that we crop. Ooh, what color? Purple.
Wow. Yeah, and then we're also the best at making whistles.

Speaker 1 That's you guys? Yeah, we make whistles. Yeah, we invented that.
You did? Yeah, yeah. So

Speaker 1 they're different than regular whistles. Right, imagine.
Yeah, yeah. That's the sound that they make.
Wheep!

Speaker 1 So people have a laugh?

Speaker 1 No one's going to come save the day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whip! Whip! Whoop. That's it.
But, so I make it up. Because I don't want to get into

Speaker 1 their fucking.

Speaker 1 They want to connect with you. Yeah.
So they try to find that thing. It's cute.
Sometimes.

Speaker 1 But sometimes I also just want to have fun.

Speaker 1 Because, by the way, when you tell them I'm a comedian or we do a podcast, they don't give a fuck. They're like, oh, really? How come I've never seen your stuff?

Speaker 1 And you're like, well, this, I don't want to. Oh, I don't want to.
You know what I mean? I hate. Well, they'll go, oh, you're a comedian? Yeah.
You friends with Nate Bargati?

Speaker 1 Like, you know, he's the most famous comedian in the world. It's like, if they don't know you, show the video, by the way, Carlos, real fast.
This is my agent's fucking house, who you know.

Speaker 1 You know my agent. Yeah.
That's his home. Oh,

Speaker 1 my God. They sent that to.
He sent me. Nice place.

Speaker 1 Carlos, you're a fucking asshole. You're a fucking asshole.
You're a piece of shit. This is nice that I have a nicer place than your agent now.
Oh, my God, dude.

Speaker 1 Dude. Dude.
By the way, back it up just a little bit. Yeah.
Just there, right there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's your place, that fireplace. That's the size of your place, right? Right around the fireplace? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wow. I texted Rain Wilson today because his was just devastating.
Well, thank God my agent and his family and his wife got out because, I mean, dude, how terrible. This is awful, bro.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's awful. I picked up Sebastian.
His is fine. Oh, he is.

Speaker 1 Whitney, I talked to her. She lives way out there.
Yeah, she's fine, though, right? She's fine. Yeah, she said she's fine.
But, you know, Kalila's sister's house. She said we have no home to go to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but her

Speaker 1 house is the only one that didn't burn down. Seriously? Yeah.

Speaker 1 They cried today because they bought their first house. They're in the desert, right? No, they're in Altadena.
No, now they're in the desert. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And they cried because they were the only house standing. What they don't know is that four in the morning last night, I took Fiji water.
I was,

Speaker 1 you know what I mean? You did that? I did that, dude. Why Fiji?

Speaker 1 Because it's my favorite kind of water. And also,

Speaker 1 they're Filipino. So I thought it was close.
Right, it is nearest. Yeah, yeah.
My point is that I saved their house last night. Let's give it up for Bob's Saving.

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 it was. You're a hero.
It was scary.

Speaker 1 Honestly, though, I don't know if you, because I would text your wife. Yeah.
I go, what are you doing? And she's like, I'm doing the... I mean, like, we were communicating.
She was packing bags.

Speaker 1 She actually went to our friend's house because there was a fire right near our house.

Speaker 1 I got so scared because I thought, oh, dude, I'm on a plane. Like, I can't do shit.
So I just had a million texts coming in.

Speaker 1 My favorite text that I got was from Stanhope. Stanhope gave me like, I think think the funniest text.

Speaker 1 Like, a lot of these, like, Rachel Feinstein and stuff, like Sam Murrell, like a lot of New York people, a lot of great. They texted you? Adriana Pelucci, yeah.
They didn't text me.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to have a problem right now. They don't know where you live.
Yeah, they do. Look at this.
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Speaker 1 Stanhope wrote, hey, just making sure Sam Morell has checked in to make sure you're okay.

Speaker 1 I wrote, you're the man. I go, he has, but we all think it's disingenuous.
Yeah, Matteo, a bunch of, you know what's so funny? Okay.

Speaker 1 So many, these New York, the New York comedy scene men, these people are so, like, they all checked in. Rachel Feinstein just hit me just now.

Speaker 1 Never got one from her. I got one from Verzi.
Adrian Ippolucci. Paul Verzi.
That's nice. I got one from...

Speaker 1 Mateo.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Howie Mandel. Oh, that's nice.
I got one from.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a lot of my New York comic friends. Dylan and I were talking too because I wanted what Tim was up to.
Dan Soder, the Dawson. Did you get one from Rosebud? Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 Rosie and I were talking.

Speaker 1 And Andy. Segura? Yep.
Talk to Tom.

Speaker 1 Ronnie Chang. Huh? Ronnie Chang.
No, thank you. I got a Ronnie Chang.
No, thank you. Yeah, that was a no, thank you.
I actually blocked him, I think. Thank God for any Chang.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I didn't get a lot.

Speaker 1 No, I didn't get it. It's not that I got a lot of things.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, Sam Morrell, I'm going to text him right now. No, no, no.
Don't do that. Why? Because he's not allowed to have his phone at this hour.
I'm going to go, Sam Morell.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dude, my favorite text, though, I got was from a Chicago friend because, you know, I'm going to Chicago in the morning. My buddy in Chicago.
Hey, man, are you okay?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're okay, man. Thank you.
Cool. Can I get a ticket for tomorrow's show?

Speaker 1 No. Yeah, you got it.
Where are you going tomorrow? I'm going to Chicago. Wow.
Playing the Chicago theater. Oh, this weekend.
Saturday, yeah. Wow.
Big, big, big moment. Big moment, dude.

Speaker 1 It sold out, I heard. It's sold out.
Yeah, yeah. It's a big thing for me, man.
It's like going home, it does something to me. I can't explain how much I appreciate it.
It's incredible.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about? No, it just shocks my soul that people will come out like that. It's just nuts.
It's awesome. I'm genuinely so like, Jesus Christ, crazy.
Well, you deserve it.

Speaker 1 When I was a kid, no, I'm saying when I was a kid, dude, we went to go see, like, my mother took, my grandmother wanted to go see Phantom of the Opera.

Speaker 1 And she was like, we're going to go, we're going to Chicago theater. Like, it was a big deal.
Like, I had to fucking dress up. Oh, wow.
But now we go there. We talk about

Speaker 1 penis jokes. What is the Phantom of the Opera about?

Speaker 1 I know, I've seen the posters.

Speaker 1 That's what it's about. Christine!

Speaker 1 What is Phantom of the Opera?

Speaker 1 It's a dark, twisted tale of a.

Speaker 1 You would love it, dude.

Speaker 1 It's right up your alley. Oh, yeah.
I love Dark and Twisted. Tell me what it's about.
It's general. I mean, general.

Speaker 1 A physical reject who falls in love with this woman.

Speaker 1 And he tries to. Look, Danny, he's got to cover up his face because his face is all fucked up.

Speaker 1 And he's in love with this woman, but she's with another man, and he's trying to get her back into his good graces. What happened to his face?

Speaker 1 Acid. No.
Acid. He went over to Saudi Arabia, made a couple of.

Speaker 1 He was pro-gay rights.

Speaker 1 That's what it's about? Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, that's right. They threw Aston because he had a black girlfriend.

Speaker 1 Wow. Did not like that in Saudi.
Is there really a black woman in it? Or they just cast. What do you mean? They cat.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Do you mean, was there originally black cast members? Well, I just see that photo right now, and there's a black woman.

Speaker 1 I don't care if there is.

Speaker 1 Sounds like you do. No, I'm just, it's curious.

Speaker 1 Is it set in the South? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is that racist? It's set in Alabama. Okay, so it's a.
Christine, you better come back to my cave.

Speaker 1 No. I think it, look, look this up.
I think it's the longest running musical in. I think it's the longest running musical in American history.
Maybe it's not. What's number one? Phantom.
It is. Whoa.

Speaker 1 13,000 performances. Guy beat Chicago after it got reviewed.
I saw Lion King. That was fun.
What about Wicked? Do you see Wicked in theaters? Do you see it? Cold Space. Do you see the movie?

Speaker 1 Come on, bro. I have zero interest in that.
Yeah, I downloaded it. I just can't get myself to watch it.
Why would I watch that? You know what I did watch that I loved? Squid Games. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 You love it? I love it. It's so good.
I'm being real. I thought it was going to be bad because I was like, the first was so good.
This series is going to be bad. Did you guys see it? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's so good. You didn't watch it? It's so good.
It's so good. Wait, wait, but timeout.
Let me go back. We'll get back to Squid Games.

Speaker 1 Okay, what do you want? I watched, I watched, and I know it's, I think it's from last year or the year before, but I was catching up on how-to with John Wilson on HBO.

Speaker 1 That guy's so brilliant, and I mean it. He's so, what, you don't like it?

Speaker 1 Remember, you try to turn me. I saw a couple of us.
I didn't like it. Buddy, it's so good.
It's such brilliant comedy, man. He's so fucking funny.
I don't know what it is.

Speaker 1 Why don't you lie?

Speaker 1 You don't get his shit? I don't get it. Here's what it is.
It's an alternative, subversive look at the world of New York through

Speaker 1 this artist lens. You're such an artsy guy.
I can't believe you don't like it. Yeah, yeah.
Go back to Squid. Okay, Squid Games.

Speaker 1 Squid Games. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm genuinely, I'm saying this from the bottom of my heart. Once again, the fucking Asian community makes another banger.
Korean.

Speaker 1 Okay, more specific. I said Asian.

Speaker 1 But here's my problem. Why can't American fucking shows do a second run and it's just as good as the first? Why? Why can't we do that? We fuck up all the time.

Speaker 1 You mean, like, do a better second season? Yes, we don't do. We almost.
Well, I mean, severance should be good when it comes out. I hope.
Yeah, maybe. I mean, the first was so good.

Speaker 1 Well, who the fuck knows? Who knows? 100%

Speaker 1 season two. Got 100% Rotten Tomatoes? On Severance? Yes.
You saw it already? It's out already? No, there is a post. Season one was great.
I love that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I'm just saying, it's like American shows, they struggle a lot with coming back with another bag. Yeah, yeah.
And this show, I think, is, I'm not done.

Speaker 1 I think it's going to be just as good as the first. Well, the third one, you know, who's in it? You? No.
How are you? How are you not in it? I'm not Korean. I don't speak Korean.
Yeah, you fucking do.

Speaker 1 No, I don't. I'll be able to say, where's the bathroom and pussy? I mean, those are the only words I know.
The only thing that's good.

Speaker 1 Food. I've heard you say that to your mom.
Yeah, yeah. Where's the bathroom, pussy? Yeah.
Yeah. How do you say that as one sentence? Say, where's the bathroom?

Speaker 1 Byonso orisa boji. Boji's pussy.
Byonso Orisa Boji. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say that. By the way, I'm going to South Korea.
You got to come with me. Okay.
Do you want to go for real? Yeah. Let's go.
No, I'm dead serious. Yeah, I just said yes.

Speaker 1 But like, can we go go? I want to go.

Speaker 1 Why are you going? I'm going for that golf thing that I'm doing now. I'm doing a golf show.
I just got back from what I'm doing. I can't go to the course with you, but I'll just go.
Please.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to the course. All right, let me tell you something.
I know you don't care. I'm just going to inflate your ego.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I went and go, I met, just, I went to go meet a bunch of people and say hi and introduce myself because it's like the beginning. In Miami? Yeah.
And dude,

Speaker 1 the amount of guys. No, no, no, no, no.
The amount of guys that were.

Speaker 1 Yo. Nobody.
It was their pro golfers. You don't know them.
But the amount of guys that were like, yo, I love you and Bobby. Where's Bobby? And I was like, dude, it'd be rad to bring you.

Speaker 1 Now that I know that you will go to South Korea, you have to come. I'm going to go.

Speaker 1 So, Squid, so the Squid game, I just do a real quick review. Give me your review.
What's surprising about it is I was fearful about redundancy.

Speaker 1 Right? So in your mind, you're like, okay, where can they go with this? Because they got to showcase the games again. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But in terms of the angle and the different kind of characters that are in it, I mean, I really like the trans character in it. Yeah, she had honor.
Yeah, she had honor, dude. And you know what?

Speaker 1 They do have honor in life.

Speaker 1 All of them?

Speaker 1 All of them?

Speaker 1 The ones that I know have honor. How many do you know? How many trans people do you know for real? Be real? Yeah.
Two.

Speaker 1 And they both have honor. They're so honorable.
They're not honorless? They're not honorless. None of them lack honor.
No. yeah.
They know who they are.

Speaker 1 They know who they are.

Speaker 1 And they know what they're doing. Is that what honor is? Let's talk about A Complete Unknown, too.
Such a phenomenal film.

Speaker 1 It's phenomenal, but what I like about it is

Speaker 1 there was a sigh of relief once I heard Timothy

Speaker 1 talk and sing. Right.
Like when he's

Speaker 1 next to Woody in the

Speaker 1 hospital. Yeah.
And he sings a song for Woody,

Speaker 1 right?

Speaker 1 And there's a part in the song where there's like a little bit of a hold of a note in the song.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And he was just so committed and he sounds so much like Bob. And I began to cry because I'm like, I think he got it right.
You cried in the theater. Oh, yeah.
Wow. Ask Gene.

Speaker 1 Gene Hong would keep looking at me and I literally weeped. What's so funny? Were you crying like to look cool in front of Gene a little bit? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because you knew he kept looking at you

Speaker 1 you think you crying in the theater to bob dylan would bring back

Speaker 1 magnum pi magnum pi

Speaker 1 do another season gene yeah yeah yeah um no all right no

Speaker 1 because him and i had walked out of movies before oh yeah you know what i mean this one you but this one we i you know we always do a little Korean glance at each other

Speaker 1 what a little wink yeah to see if

Speaker 1 we're gonna leave oh you know what I mean so I looked at him and I had tears in my eyes and he was very pleased, you know? Yeah, he's proud. Proud.
And so,

Speaker 1 and I used to work with this girl, Monica Barbaro. She was

Speaker 1 so good. Yeah, she's Joan Baez.
She's so good.

Speaker 1 It's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 And the movie is Carlos. Carlos, come on.

Speaker 1 She's very pretty. But Carlos, Carlos's commentary is always.
You know what it is? Yeah, it's degrading.

Speaker 1 It's Howard Stern in 96. Like, we say any girl, he's like, great kids.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 I know. It's so fun.
Yeah. She's gorgeous.
Yeah. But the movie was just great.
And I thought. It was so good.
Another one was Gladiator 2. You see it? I haven't seen it.
Now,

Speaker 1 do you do the relax seats? Did you do the

Speaker 1 seats that go down? No, we didn't relax.

Speaker 1 I did the unrelaxing ones. See, I like to go to the chill, to the relax, what is it called?

Speaker 1 See what? It's just like the lounge again.

Speaker 1 We're going to bring it back to the lounge. The best gaslighter I've ever met in my entire life.
No, I mean, honestly,

Speaker 1 it's impressive. It's impressive how much of a fucking gaslighter you are.
It's like disgusting. Anybody can go to that theater.
I like to be in the recliner seats because of my back.

Speaker 1 This is what gaslighting is, okay? You have no fucking idea. Okay, if there's a light on, you think it's Cirque de Olay, you fucking.

Speaker 1 If there's a light on, and I tell a woman, I go,

Speaker 1 there's no light that's on, and I try to convince her that the light's on, go ahead, get some gas. Yeah, so what I'm saying, yeah.
So what I'm saying to you is that

Speaker 1 you bring up lounges and comfortable seats all the time. How is that gaslighting? What?

Speaker 1 Your argument's so fucking bad, it's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 It's like, it's shocking how many holes are in your bullshit. Yeah, yeah.
What are you talking about? I like to go to the theater to lounge. Everyone likes the fucking recliner seats.

Speaker 1 It's the best seats. Okay.
They're by far the best. I don't do those.
What are you talking about? Because it's not close to your house? What theater do you go to? The Grove.

Speaker 1 You go to the fucking Grove? What are you so angry about? Yes, I go to the fucking Grove, dude. You go to the Grove.
Yeah. I know why you go to the Grove.
Same.

Speaker 1 I know exactly why he goes to the grove. Oh, here we go.

Speaker 1 Let's start now. It's Bobby Lee.
Well,

Speaker 1 hey, man, what's up? Smoking a cigarette. Fuck you.
Here we go, dude. Fuck you.

Speaker 1 Fuck you, dude. That's not why, dude.
Yes, it is. That's not why.
Carlos and George. That's not why.
That's not why.

Speaker 1 Where do I go then?

Speaker 1 Where's a little relaxing season? Do you know how many theaters there are in the fucking valley that you can go to? You know where they fucking are, you liar. They're all over Burbank.

Speaker 1 Burbank has three movie theaters within a mile of one another. Yeah.
And they're so close to your house. What's what I love about going to the movie theater?

Speaker 1 Smoking outside.

Speaker 1 That's not why. Is that Bobby Lee?

Speaker 1 That's not why, dude. You love it too.
You love it, too.

Speaker 1 Anyone going to a movie theater,

Speaker 1 I want to let you know. Like, I went to go see

Speaker 1 with my mom, Nostorofto. Did you like it? I have my opinions about it.
All right.

Speaker 1 Empiric. You saw it? No.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And what I love about going to the theater with my mom is she's so weird, no one approaches me.

Speaker 1 I love your mom. My mom was laying down.
Beautiful. You know what? You wait in line to get popcorn? Just off to the side, she just laid down because her back hurt.
Let her be comfortable. I know.

Speaker 1 And me and my brother are just squatting next to her, like, come on, get up. How about this? Mom, get up, right? She's like, no, no, my back, my back.
Right. And we're just, and no one approaches us.

Speaker 1 Because they think, you know what I mean? They think it's either. A family crisis.
A family crisis or an emergency of some sort, right? But they don't approach.

Speaker 1 If her back hurts, why don't you take her to the recliner seat theater?

Speaker 1 I'm not an elitist like you.

Speaker 1 It's so funny.

Speaker 1 Elitist.

Speaker 1 It's open to the public. It's literally just a movie theater.
All right. Anyway, so you're back good at the theater? I had epidurals.
Yeah. It feels so much better now.

Speaker 1 I had an epidural put in my back. I'm going to have another one.

Speaker 1 I got to have another one put in my phone. Did you see Northrop 2? Yeah, I loved it.
You did? Yeah, it was awesome. Dude, I watched a disturbing movie in my last movie of the flight last night.

Speaker 1 What was it called?

Speaker 1 Called A Simple Man. The Simple Man or A Simple Man.
It's old. It's an old movie.
Cohen Brothers? Yeah. A Simple Plan.
No, Simple Man, I thought. Yeah.
A Simple Man. A Simple Man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's right. Steven Parks in that.
Yeah, it was really fucking tough. It's hard to watch?

Speaker 1 It just makes you fucking sad. Is it like falling down? A serious man.
I apologize. I'm serious, man.
I'm sorry. Yeah.
It's really hard to watch. It hurts your heart.

Speaker 1 It's about a man who, what's going on with him? Well, it starts with like a Jewish parable at the beginning, and then it goes into this man's life in the 60s, I believe, 50s or 60s. And

Speaker 1 his, his wife, I mean, everyone's shits on this guy. He's a professor at a university.
He gets literally no respect.

Speaker 1 Then his wife is like leaving him for their fucking neighbor, who's like a buddy, who comes over and he's like, you know, we're thinking about...

Speaker 1 We're thinking about you moving out of the house in me movie. And he's taking it all on the fucking chin.
It's really. What is Stephen Park playing at? He's Korean.

Speaker 1 he's he's uh i think he's the student one of the students okay it's just a dark look it's beautifully done but man it was hard to watch he always the dad he's the dad of the student that's right

Speaker 1 wow it was just one of those movies where you're like it's it's but does he snap look at that he's hugging his wife's lover what does he snap

Speaker 1 you can watch the movie

Speaker 1 i bet you could figure it out

Speaker 1 so it's like falling down i thought that movie was falling down that dark very very dark very but this is dark in a way that's like it's it's shot in such bright beautiful beautiful colors.

Speaker 1 I mean, bright, beautiful for the time period that

Speaker 1 it looks happy, but it feels fucking atrocious.

Speaker 1 And he's trying to get tenure, and nobody wants him to get tenure. Life is hard, huh? It's a guy that, like,

Speaker 1 yeah, you're surprised he doesn't jump. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I thought

Speaker 1 Falling Down was the best representation of Los Angeles I've ever seen. Better than like swingers?

Speaker 1 Because swingers, to me. Yeah, because, you know, there was a scene where he's like going on an off-ramp on the 101 or whatever.
I love it. It's so trafficky and just he like runs on a golf course.

Speaker 1 The tone of it, it just, and the, it just looks like LA to me. Oh, well, I mean, feels like LA.
What about you can just track where he's walking in LA? Exactly.

Speaker 1 You know exactly where those players are. Well, what about, what about,

Speaker 1 what's wrong with me? Pacino.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what about Heat? That too, yeah. Heat so Los Angeles.
I mean, like, in fact, in Heat, sometimes when I re-watch that movie, I see the underpasses they're shooting at, and I'm like, I know that.

Speaker 1 I used to drive onto there all the time. One ten and the yeah, like that's such a great, like you see Santa Monica and Western, like that kind of LA

Speaker 1 where it's like, it doesn't, you can't really see that in movies. It's sort of like, it kind of looks like Mexico.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it looks like when you go to, it looks like when you go down to Mexico, it looks it looks very like, what is it called?

Speaker 1 Barrios. Barrios, yeah.
Badios, haciendas. Yeah, badios.
I don't even know what I'm saying. You get a mixture of

Speaker 1 Hispanics, and then you also get a mixture of like tourists that kind of made the wrong turn. Chinese tourists.
Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Hey, bro, you're in the wrong fucking hood.

Speaker 1 Can I take your picture?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Pose, dog.

Speaker 1 That LA is dead, by the way. That LA is dead, you mean? LA, as we know, it is dead.
Why? This is a red alert, red alert. After the pandemic and the fires and the strike, fucking LA, we got to go.

Speaker 1 I hate to say it to you, buddy, but it's happening. No, no, no, it's happening.
100%. We're leaving.
Where are we going? I don't give a fuck, but we're leaving. We're leaving.
We got to go, dude.

Speaker 1 What are we doing anyway? Because us, me, you, and Tim Dylan were talking about like, we have to stay. I know.
We said the exact opposite on the show. Yeah, we.
That's the best part about podcasting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we have to. We have to be the last standing.
We should stay. I don't want to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I'm Gavin Newsome and fucking Karen Bass and all the bullshit of this fucking city, and it's never going to get rebuilt right. And they can't get Hollywood to stay.
What are we doing?

Speaker 1 Yeah. They fucked us up.
By the way, I listened to Adam Carolla this morning talking about, because he just, this guy has, he's grew up in Los Angeles. He's lived here his whole life.

Speaker 1 He was talking about how, good luck rebuilding Malibu. These people are going to have to fucking try to get permits.
Good luck. Why? Good fucking luck.

Speaker 1 Because it's going to be a billion people trying to get permits from the city of L.A. And this city is insane with building permits.
It's crazy. There's a million rules and restrictions.

Speaker 1 There's so much regulation in Los Angeles. It's going to take them forever.
But what if I had a house that burned down? I can't, I have to get a building permit to rebuild my house. Of course you do.

Speaker 1 And you have to get a million different kinds of them. Wow.
And never mind that. Talk about all the insurance companies that fucked over all those people.

Speaker 1 They're never going to rebuild. And even if they do, it's going to take three years before the Palisades even exist anymore.
Wow. The whole city is fucked.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What are they going to do with these stars and stuff? It's not just stars, dude. This is

Speaker 1 regular people, too.

Speaker 1 Altadino.

Speaker 1 Cut that out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cut that out.

Speaker 1 Cut that out. Cut that out.
Cut that out. No, no, no, no.
Please. It came out wrong.

Speaker 1 It came out wrong. And that's why it has to stay in.
No, all people, no, all people. Altadina.
Keep it in. He will.

Speaker 1 Don't keep it in. Now he keeps in.
I'm scared. It's fun.
Stop, please. Shut up.
Yeah, you shut up, Dan. Let them know who you are.
No, I don't know who I am. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm going to go.

Speaker 1 Altadina, Altadina.

Speaker 1 Altadina is like

Speaker 1 a regular working-class neighborhood. I'm sure there's some nice house there, but it fucked up a lot of people, man.

Speaker 1 That was the misinformation of the news. People are like, this is just superstars.
You're like, dude, it's fucking 30,000 acres. Exactly.
So many people. What do you mean?

Speaker 1 And it's probably, look at the total acreage that's been burnt in Los Angeles County. And by the way, we're doing this podcast while it's on fire.
It's bigger than Manhattan.

Speaker 1 It's bigger than Manhattan. It's burnt.
Wow. Wow.
And we're doing this while it's on fire still right now. Yeah.
People at home. Just the Palisades is over.
It's bigger. 17,000, just the Palisades.

Speaker 1 Oh, so can they do this?

Speaker 1 What happened? I called you two hours ago, right? Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So they did a...

Speaker 1 Evacuation alert on everyone's phone. Two hours.
Did you get that? On accident, yeah. On accident, though.
Don't do that. Don't do that.
Who's the guy? Like, what's this, John? Beep.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? And then the fucking, like, who's in charge of that? One idiot sitting in a room being like, oh, shit. I hit it.
That scared the shit out of me.

Speaker 1 But imagine if you and I had that. We'd be like, do it.
Oh my God. Don't do it.
You get fired. Yeah, right away.
Yeah. You know how many fucking, what are they called? Amber Alerts I just let out?

Speaker 1 But I would do Amber Alert for one of our friends' cars.

Speaker 1 Someone's car that we know at the comedy store. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

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Speaker 1 That's shipstation.com, Bad Friends, Shopify. So it's the new year.
It is. It's 2025.
God bless. And you're probably thinking, how am I going to make this year different? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Am I going to build something for myself? I'd like to.

Speaker 1 I'm dying to be my own boss or see if I can turn this business idea I've been kicking around in my head into a reality, but I don't know how to make it happen. Shopify, Bob.

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Sock doc. You know, guy.
Can I call you guy? Call me guy.

Speaker 1 Sometimes when I, you know, go to a restaurant, I'll, you know, read reviews. You know what I mean? I do some research.
You do. But I do that for my health, and that's why I'm on Zock Doc.

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Am I too busy? These are excuses. You know why?

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Speaker 1 We have a special guest. Is he here? I thought you said he's here.

Speaker 1 Oh, who's coming?

Speaker 1 It's a surprise. No, I want to know.
It's a surprise. It's a fun surprise.
It's a surprise for you.

Speaker 1 Wait,

Speaker 1 how are you? Do you know? Why do I have to be surprised? Why can't you be surprised? Well, if you did any organization for the show whatsoever, then you could. Yeah, but I don't want the surprise.

Speaker 1 If you're not going to get get a surprise, I want to know you're CC'd on all the emails, Bob. You literally are CC'd on everything.
Okay, I'm going to look at it now then. God, which email?

Speaker 1 I'm CC'd in it.

Speaker 1 It's Amazon. It says

Speaker 1 Dermacon. Hold on.
What's Dermacon? Is that a pimple? It's for my nails.

Speaker 1 I have High Street Beast.

Speaker 1 What's High Street Beast? Clothing.

Speaker 1 Sick.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 Yeah, sit down. What a prince.
What a prince.

Speaker 1 Welcome, bro. Prince, look at the prince here, dude.
Blesses us. Yeah.
What happened to your glasses? It's gone. Why? Korean doctor helped me out.
Oh, really? Yeah, man. Yeah.
Dr. Paul E.

Speaker 1 Shout out, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Shout out, Paul E. You want to wear the cans or do you need them? I don't think I need them.
I can't do you guys is fine. Or are you guys playing clips and stuff? No.
No, no, no. No.
Okay.

Speaker 1 This isn't your mom's house. Yeah.
As you got successful, your skin cleared up. Really? Did I I have bad skin? No.
But before, like, you almost have perfect skin now. That is so weird.

Speaker 1 You look happier. Maybe that's what it is.
No, there's something about your fucking skin, dude. Really? I swear I can see the flaws now.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. I thought I used to have perfect skin and now I'm stressed, you know.

Speaker 1 What are you stressed about? Just stuff? Like, why? You know, you're killing it. You got a baby? No, no baby.
Well, then what are you stressed about? You're married. No, I'm not married.

Speaker 1 You're not married. You're not having a baby.
What do you you give a shit? This is how good Jimmy's doing. This is how good Jimmy is doing.
And I want to be honest with you.

Speaker 1 Your ex-girlfriends are girls I couldn't even get, I don't think. No, come on, Bobby.

Speaker 1 None of us, that's the fucking truth. Let's talk truth and let's talk gospel.
Let's talk gospel and truth, baby. Right? Thank you.

Speaker 1 I'm shaking that first is that the girls, I've seen your ex-girlfriends.

Speaker 1 Do it like the gospel. Do it in gospel tone.

Speaker 1 Give me an example. Have seen your ex-girlfriend.
Oh, yeah. I've seen.

Speaker 1 Here we go. I've seen your ex-white girlfriend.

Speaker 1 And they come from the depths of the earth, prison each other. And the Prince of Korea has come with his clear skin and his eyes of purple white.

Speaker 1 I appreciate this. This makes me feel good about myself, Bobby.
I wasn't expecting this coming in. It's killing it.
No, I appreciate that. But I see your presence.

Speaker 1 Whenever Bobby steps into a room, there's a I have no presence here. He sits down on a couch and people just line up and gather around him.
There's an aura of

Speaker 1 your brother. That's not true because the last party I saw you at yeah where who was the aura you you were the aura no man no

Speaker 1 no man you were i'll tell you why that was really the aura my young man i'll tell you why

Speaker 1 all right is because we went to aquafina's new year's party that's true preach yeah right and i came late

Speaker 1 He came late. I came late with the woman.
He was like the headliner coming. No.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to do the voice. We walk in.

Speaker 1 Who's on the dance floor? Was it me dancing? You were dancing. Like a little butterfly.
I was trying. Okay.
Like a little cream butterfly, right?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you were the flame. We were the moths.
No, no.

Speaker 1 Jimmy, Jimmy,

Speaker 1 Jimmy complimenting. Jimmy, let me tell you, right? And I remember me, Gene, Dom, we all went to you.
You didn't come to us. We came to you on the dance floor.

Speaker 1 We took a photo with you on the dance floor, which means you're the light, right? And we're the moth. Yeah.
That sounds like it. That's interesting.
That's how you saw it.

Speaker 1 Because how I saw it was you arrived.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then you were

Speaker 1 like, there's a beautiful woman next to you. And she was very doting.
And every time I'll talk to you or, like, you know, I'll talk to her, she was like, I got to go. Bobby's right there.

Speaker 1 I got to take care of him.

Speaker 1 You were like the king. She's my concubine.
Yeah, there you go. Boom.
That's it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And were there any whites at the party? Other than the one.
There's some whites.

Speaker 1 He's always with the whites. What is up with you and the whites? As of late.
He loves the whites. As of late, I don't know.

Speaker 1 He loves the whites. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no. I'm into all ethnicity.
I dated black girls, Asian girls, you know, white girls. I think that my ex-girlfriend was very white.

Speaker 1 So I think people just assume that.

Speaker 1 But also, I don't know, like, growing up in Hong Kong when everyone was Asian, like, white people was exotic to me. Like, how white guys here obsess over Asian girls because it's exotic.

Speaker 1 Certain kinds of white guys. Maybe.
Yeah, you know. Weirdo white guys, too.
Yeah, yeah, creepy white guys. Like George.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Take one look at that guy. Tell me his wife is Asian.
Asian. For sure.
100%. Asian chicken.
Yeah, 100%. For sure.
It's a kind of white guy that's obsessed with it.

Speaker 1 Now, I find Asian women beautiful, but there's a certain kind of white guy that like obsesses over Asian women.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He is? He does? Oh, my God.
No, but okay, I'm going to ask you a question. There you go.
Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah, yeah.
He plays the violin. She's a violinist, I think.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's always fucking weirdo white guys, dude. It's always white girls on Raya that I match with.
You know what it always says? What?

Speaker 1 In common with Jimmy Oyang.

Speaker 1 No, come on, man. It says it right there.
I see it. Come on.

Speaker 1 Damn, dude.

Speaker 1 Do you know her? I do not know her. Come closer.

Speaker 1 You do know her. He does.
I do know her.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Let me see.
What? Let me see this girl. Ex-girlfriend? No, no, no, no, no.
How do I see her photos? I'll show you.

Speaker 1 That's hilarious.

Speaker 1 Wait, Bobby, did you talk to her? Well, I forgot to read the Jimmy Oyang part, so I did say hi. This is how you know she loves Asian guys.
Bruce Lee is one of her profile photos. I know.

Speaker 1 Bruce Lee is one of her profile photos.

Speaker 1 That's a good tale. That's like you in.
No, but that's and Jackie Chan. I know, I understand that.
I'm not exaggerating. I swear to God, it is, right? So, but, but she, this is what I find.

Speaker 1 Because I want to say this: one time,

Speaker 1 you look good, dude. What? Me? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow, hot guy.

Speaker 1 Let me look, let me look.

Speaker 1 Fucking hot, dude. Hot, dude.
So one time you were at the improv, this is years ago, and you had a girlfriend, right?

Speaker 1 She dressed in an Asian thing. She was a white girl.
She did it. Really? Yeah.
And then she also had a...

Speaker 1 Her purse had like pearls in it, but it looked like, you know, the green JD, you know what I mean? It looked like an Asian bag. For real? Yeah.
So I'm wondering with this girl.

Speaker 1 I think you're the influence. Oh.
Once they meet you, they become more Asian. And then now, you mean, it opens them up to our market that's you know what let's put that out there yeah yeah

Speaker 1 she was already predisposed to Asian dudes yeah

Speaker 1 Jimmy is the once you go black Jimmy's the once you go once you go yellow

Speaker 1 you bang Bobby Lee also

Speaker 1 you know that's that's once you go

Speaker 1 yellow you find yourself another Asian fellow right I think that's what it is that's right that's it you're the opening so you know but because I felt that too where I've like dated a white girl and then they were like you go to their house and you go oh yeah they're they they're prone to us yes yes yeah they're aware yeah there's like a poster of like watching mulan or something

Speaker 1 yeah and then there's like you know a lot of bamboo and bonsai trees those those chinese stress balls yeah those stress bars yeah yeah north george has those at his dinner table

Speaker 1 100 um it's a different time though i feel like now with so much representation like with squid games btfs everything too much who isn't into asians like i wish i grew up like i went to high school and middle school now i think some of them are different games some of them are not and you've you've seen them, have you not?

Speaker 1 I think so. I think so, but they just won't.
They won't do it. What are you talking about? Some white girls, they just won't cross that line.
Some girls in general are just not interested.

Speaker 1 I'm saying it's like a you're making a difference. I just don't like the way you said it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, why did you say it like that? Some women aren't interested, period. It has nothing to do with you being Asian.
They're just not interested. They're not interested in my type.

Speaker 1 Your type is not because you're your type is specific.

Speaker 1 You know? Hey, so my woman, wait, wait, wait. My type, wait, wait.

Speaker 1 My type specific.

Speaker 1 Are you fucking telling me that you and I are on two completely different categories? Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so tell me what the category I'm in. I don't know.
Andrew, Andrew.

Speaker 1 Carlos, somebody from a third person point of view. Here's what I would say.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jimmy is.

Speaker 1 I understand. He's a starter on Arsenal.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you're in the locker room, and you're there,

Speaker 1 and you're cheering on the boys, and you're on the team,

Speaker 1 but

Speaker 1 you're not on a midfield.

Speaker 1 By the way, this is

Speaker 1 that what you're saying, Jennifer? He's a superstar.

Speaker 1 He's a superstar. That's not what I was saying.
The kid's a fucking superstar. No, come on, guys.
We know he is.

Speaker 1 100% is. He is.

Speaker 1 You guys are doing better than me. What are you guys talking about? That's not true.
You own your own studio. You have your own podcast.
You have staff. You have staff of white people.

Speaker 1 Well, first of all, he's actually half Mexican. So we got points for him.
Carlos, I heard about you, man. One of my best friend, PJ, a big fan of the podcast, says you like Glory Holes.
He loves.

Speaker 1 That's Glory Hole King, baby. It's getting around, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm glad it's getting around. Yeah.
And you know what? Honestly,

Speaker 1 let's squash this now.

Speaker 1 Your appeal for women is just different than yours. You get plenty of beautiful women.
They're just different kinds of women. I get it.
I've accepted it. Right.
Yeah, I'm not fighting against the

Speaker 1 beautiful women with you. Yeah, no, but what I'm saying is that I have to say that he's still in a different category.
Yep, so are Carlos and I. So we're cleaning it.

Speaker 1 But when we get casted, we're in the same category. That's my problem.
No one's casting you guys in the same. You guys are no fucking

Speaker 1 casting.

Speaker 1 So I was up for the Joe Coy part. Did you do that part?

Speaker 1 Well, I pretty much did that movie. Easter Sunday.
It's his fucking movie.

Speaker 1 Which part?

Speaker 1 The one I still falier end up playing? What? The one

Speaker 1 guy part. The bad guy? No, there was a part that he said he had written for me that I got offered.

Speaker 1 I couldn't do it because I was doing Borderlands. Oh, I think there was a part.
Yeah, I don't know. That wasn't my part.
It was my part. I couldn't do another part.

Speaker 1 So I was like, okay, I'm not setting that.

Speaker 1 But I've also been in other situations where Jimmy Oyang got the part and I didn't get it. But that's just because it's...

Speaker 1 But it was for the same part, I'm saying that he beats me out. They just want to see how.
So if we're in the same category,

Speaker 1 I think that's a very broad, like,

Speaker 1 it's not, it's Hollywood's issue that at times we're in the same category. Correct.
Because if

Speaker 1 Santino and like who will be, I don't know, like another white guy that will be totally different. Like you and...
Me and Anthony Jeselnick aren't going to go off for the same fucking role. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. Or like you and Patton Oswald could go off with different roles, but you guys are very different people.
Or you and Ryan Gosling could go off with different roles.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying you're, you know, I'm just saying. Yeah.
No, you're right. You are very different people.
And sometimes it's just people are dumb. Like, the category could also just be Asian guys.

Speaker 1 Funny guys or whatever, right? Like, or whatever. It's different.
You okay, Bobby? He's a little shocked. He's a little stunned.
He's he got a little hit. He got a little hit.
Took a hit. I'm good.

Speaker 1 I'll agree with you. Well, also, no, no, stop, stop.
Well, you're also different in age. I mean, Jimmy's 37 years old.
And also Korean and Chinese, very different, you know?

Speaker 1 No, well, that part I don't know about.

Speaker 1 I understand that. I understand that.
I know we're different. Yeah, he's Chinese.
You're right. Do you know what I mean? I take that back.
Thank you. I'm older.
Also, be nice to the Chinese.

Speaker 1 I love the Chinese. Just be nice.

Speaker 1 I love that stuff.

Speaker 1 Just be nice. Okay.
Because he gets on his little high horse and he doesn't. Oh, you think that I'm the high horse?

Speaker 1 He starts spouting hatred about China. He'll do it.
He'll just crack one open and start flying off the handle. I mean, you guys don't know how to wait in line.
See?

Speaker 1 How to what? Wait in line. We talked about it earlier.
You guys don't even know how to wait in line. In mainland China China, something.
Everywhere. Okay.
Oh, no, here.

Speaker 1 Everywhere. Baskin' Robbins.
It doesn't matter where it is. Chinese be skipping lines, dude.
Oh, for real? Yeah. Chinese be skipping lines.

Speaker 1 I mean, you guys are the ones that we go, oh my god, there they go again. I can't support that stereotype.
Maybe in certain parts of China.

Speaker 1 They'd be skipping.

Speaker 1 Chinese people skipping line. Do skipping in line.
Skipping line.

Speaker 1 Look at all those people skipping in line. They're all skipping somebody.

Speaker 1 Or what are your qualms about Chinese?

Speaker 1 Qualms? Yeah. Is that a Chinese word? What's qualms?

Speaker 1 Is that a real word? Yeah, qualms is good. Yeah, yeah.
My issues? What are your issues about Chinese? Do you have any?

Speaker 1 What's my qualm with Chinese? People?

Speaker 1 Anything about it, the culture. Let's start with the food.
Okay, how about this? I can't do that. Chinese food is really good.
It's good. I like it a lot.

Speaker 1 I really like Chinese food. Yeah, like, but what's this Cantonese stuff and Sechuan? You know what I mean? Like, pick one thing, you know what I mean? Sechuan.
Love Shashu. What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Hotter, the better. I think

Speaker 1 Chinese is hard to. Chinese food is hard because I really love that.
Yeah. But when it's bad, it's bad.
How about this one? The language we've talked about. The language is harsh.
It's sharp.

Speaker 1 It's sharp. Well, which one? There's also a lot.
Well, Mandarin. Okay,

Speaker 1 what's the one that you are?

Speaker 1 I can speak a few, but that's fucking arrogant. I'm not saying that.
No, no, because

Speaker 1 I grew up in Hong Kong, but my parents speak Shanghainese. Okay, so if I'm in Hong Kong, let me.

Speaker 1 Cantonese. Yeah, yeah.
Say something in Cantonese. I'm going to see if it's harsh.

Speaker 1 How about this? Say, say,

Speaker 1 hey, you guys, save me a seat when you get to the restaurant in that world.

Speaker 1 See, it's like, Jesus, fuck that. Yeah, that's a lot.

Speaker 1 It's like a machine gun going off. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now, listen, in Korean, save me a seat when you get there. What? In Korean, save me a seat.
I don't know how to say that. Make it up, fuckhead.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Very nice. I'm going to say the seat.
No, he's saying it very softly. That's bullshit.
That's bullshit. He's like,

Speaker 1 I have never heard that tone before. That's a wicked.
That's how they talk. That's how we talk.

Speaker 1 It's quicker on the run for their life. They have to be yelling.
Give me the Korean. Let's hear it.
That's Korean. Here we go.

Speaker 1 It's pretty similar.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what's period. Yeah.
Do they have Cantonese? They might have Cantonese.

Speaker 1 Just put Mandarin in. Yeah, let's go.
Oh, there you go. It's Cantonese.
Let's hear it. That's new.

Speaker 1 They don't have it. God bless.

Speaker 1 Because they don't have enough.

Speaker 1 Because they can't get a voiceover guy. Does it have a harsh?

Speaker 1 Go Mandarin. No.

Speaker 1 Just do Chinese traditional. Let's go Chinese.
M-A-N-M-A-N-Y. Simplified.
There you go. Traditional and simple.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 1 Isn't that so nice? Wow, wow, ow, I'm not. It's not nice.
So nice. You know what? They had to put it with a woman's voice just to get it.
Exactly. Why is that?

Speaker 1 What is that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. It's just an aggressive thing, you know? And, you know, what's up with Tai Chi? Is that a martial arts or is it a meditative thing you're doing? It's a little bit of both.

Speaker 1 I've never seen anyone fight anyone with Tai Chi.

Speaker 1 I don't think he's five of you. Tai Chi.

Speaker 1 It's an exercise. Yeah, dude.
It says, how is this a martial arts dude or how

Speaker 1 there's no see that's the opposite aggressive you know that is true that is true there's nobody no asian is more aggressive than koreans i think yeah i don't care all my koreans will kick your ass yes they will

Speaker 1 for good and for bad like and go never forget that i don't have i don't i don't i don't fuck with you baby yeah don't with me okay what about japanese though they japanese got to how do you feel about wild motherfuckers

Speaker 1 I don't know a lot of, there's not a lot of like authentic Japanese people in LA, I feel like. I like Japan.
I like that. What does everybody say about Japanese that they don't want to live in LA?

Speaker 1 That's interesting because there's a lot of Korean and a lot of Chinese here, but not a lot of Japanese. Yeah.
Why not? I don't know. You think it's a superiority thing?

Speaker 1 Because a lot of, he always says they have a superiority complex. The Japanese.
I never said that. Yeah, you do.
You said they're like, that's insane. What do you mean? We have that on tape.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you say that. You said they think they're the best.
You say that all the time. They are the best.
Okay, what the fuck? What are we saying then? I just said what you said. Okay.

Speaker 1 You said they have a superiority complex. They think they're complex.
They think that

Speaker 1 that was a legitimate accident. But don't you think that they're perceived as the best or no? What do you think, Jim? I think it's because they project that.

Speaker 1 I think they run their country very well. There's good food.
There's a good sense of respect there. There's a high-speed railway.
Oh, that's a very good one.

Speaker 1 Theologically, they're doing pretty good. I'm a big fan of Japan.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Big fan of Japan.
By the way, I'm going to Hong Kong for the first time. Are you touring there? No, I'm doing like a new show that I'm doing, so I'm going to go there for a couple of days.

Speaker 1 Is that when you're going to go to Korea that same time? We're going to go to Korea right after. Okay.
Yeah. Oh, that's...
Wait, what kind of show is this? Like a travel show?

Speaker 1 No, it's like there's like an alternative golf league and I've started like a little show that I'm doing with them where I'm talking, like a walk and talk with players and we just goof around and get like a glimpse of their life.

Speaker 1 That's the dream. I do.
It's a big dream for him. For me, it actually genuinely is.
Do you play golf?

Speaker 1 I can't either.

Speaker 1 I don't have the patience. Me either.

Speaker 1 I'm too angry. Two Chinese.
Two Chinese. Two Chinese.
Two Korean, two Chinese. You think you could beat me in ping pong?

Speaker 1 Probably.

Speaker 1 Now that's you guys' golf. You know, well, ping pong is Asian golf.

Speaker 1 Ping pong is a weird thing because, first of all, people assume I'm good at ping-pong, and I used to be really good because I trained when I was a child in Hong Kong, you know, but now it's really shameful because I haven't played in so long.

Speaker 1 People assume I'm good, and I'm actually not good. I can't, I can be good, but you just said that you could beat me, even though you're not good.
Go fuck yourself. No, if I, you know,

Speaker 1 I can beat you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay, probably. By the way, by the way, he crossed his legs so eloquently as he said, yeah, I probably, probably could beat you.
This is a very uncomfortable chair.

Speaker 1 What do you guys want me to do?

Speaker 1 Because I was leaned up. I i don't want your audience be like oh he seems uncomfortable

Speaker 1 you know that's right jack black sat on that chair a lot of famous people a lot of famous people sat on that chair wow machine gun kelly sat on that chair so he did the pink one right yeah pink one oh sorry about that stand stay in the blue one then yeah that's in the blue one there yeah um how's how's uh how's your show by the way everyone seems to people like you absolutely love your show and tear chatted down yeah yeah yeah man uh it was awesome i think from what i hear you know they haven't shared the numbers with us but from what i hear people are really liking it chloro bennett chlore bennett's Bennett's on that?

Speaker 1 Chloe Bennett, Ronnie Chang's on it. And our good friend Lisa Gilroy, who we love so much.
She is amazing, right? Number one, dude. Yeah.
Chloe Bennett, look at that. Ronnie Chang.

Speaker 1 We love us from Ronnie Chang. And that's Alan.
Is that Alan?

Speaker 1 No, that's Charles Yu. Oh, I couldn't see.

Speaker 1 We'll zoom in. He's a showrunner, and that's Tyka.

Speaker 1 Tyka YTT. Yeah, Tyka is awesome.
That's great. Good for you, dude.
This is amazing. It's huge.
It's on Hulu, right? Yes, on Hulu. Amazing.

Speaker 1 We love Hulu. We're all good.
We love the kids over here. We love Hulu.
We got specials coming out on Hulu. Oh, really? Both of you? Yeah.
Oh, maybe I should do one. Wait, Bobby, I thought

Speaker 1 the first piece of advice Bobby told me when I was coming up, he was like, don't ever do a stand-up special.

Speaker 1 Save your material, and then you can tour with the same material in colleges for 20 years.

Speaker 1 30. Yeah? 30.
Yo, yo, that was sound advice. You know, he's like, why would you want to do a special? And then now you have to write in the whole new hour.
We literally.

Speaker 1 I took that to heart, man.

Speaker 1 You did one.

Speaker 1 You didn't go by my fucking suggestion.

Speaker 1 You've done a few.

Speaker 1 I seriously, I swear, like when I said, okay, I'll do one and I'll quit. Yeah.
And I said, I'll do my second one for this amount of money and I'll quit. Then, you know, it's just too fun, man.

Speaker 1 This is what we do. Yeah.
There's so much fun. Bobby, this is your.

Speaker 1 Well, how many specials have you done now? None. So this is your first one.
This is huge. Yes.
Yeah, it's a big deal. This is huge.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Wow.
When is it coming out? We don't know yet. But, you know, whenever we do it, he filmed

Speaker 1 the end of this year.

Speaker 1 I can't believe that I gave you that suggestion. It's sound advice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you didn't go with advice. Only 10 years later.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Him going against your advice worked out pretty well for him. I think we did it when you were in.
I know, I remember the day. It was when I was living in the apartment on Beechwood.

Speaker 1 When I was at Tiger Belly. Yeah, yeah.
That's when I gave you that advice. Yeah, yeah.
I remember now. Beachwood days.
The Beachwood days. Where you live now? You're still in Los Angeles, aren't you?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is your house okay? Yeah, yeah. Were you scared last night? I was.

Speaker 1 I went to K-Town and they didn't evacuate my place, but I'm like, dude, let me just go go to the hotel in Cape Town, grab all my stuff. Yeah.
What are you going to do, man? You stay in LA?

Speaker 1 I don't.

Speaker 1 You know what I like? I like Vancouver.

Speaker 1 I've shot a couple things in Vancouver. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's really nice. Great Chinese food.
It's so expensive to see. It's so expensive.
But I mean, it's expensive anywhere.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No, you're not in fucking Idaho.

Speaker 1 Right. Montana.
Right. But see, these are places great for you.

Speaker 1 You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what, Jimmy? Jamika? Thank you.

Speaker 1 I think it was good for you. And back in the day, everyone's like, this whole country was great for people like me.
And then we let you guys in. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because everyone's like, why don't you move to Texas? Why don't you move to

Speaker 1 Nashville? Whatever. I'm like, that's not

Speaker 1 great for me. It's okay for you.
No, no, it's fine. You're killing Texas.
I like it just like I like it here. I can, you know, assimilate.

Speaker 1 I can make all kinds of all my friends of different ethnicities, but like Vancouver, like, I just felt like home. I felt like Hong Kong.
It's very, it's

Speaker 1 a majority and i felt there's a weird like familiarity and safeness and the food just makes sense to me there yeah canada's great man here's the thing about whites anywhere else okay it's not that they have hatred it's that they don't see people like us often like when i when i was in butte montana shooting that movie yeah i was at an aa meeting Okay, and some guy was pouring coffee in people's glasses.

Speaker 1 The guy came up to me and goes, hey, man, sorry we don't have any green tea.

Speaker 1 That's a very accommodating right. And I go

Speaker 1 to coffee too, man.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Well, we know, but what happens when you do drink coffee?

Speaker 1 You guys go,

Speaker 1 all the time, man. I don't want you kung.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Don't be kung fuing.
It's somebody that like doesn't isn't around us that often, and then they just want to be nice. That's right.

Speaker 1 But it comes out, you know what I mean, a little racist, but I don't mind that. It's just people are just trying to acclimate themselves to us.
Yeah, it's not malicious. It's not malicious.

Speaker 1 I don't feel bad after that happens, but I feel like, could I really be friends with this man? Maybe. Maybe.
It'll be hard. It'll be an uphill battle.

Speaker 1 Well, we're leaving. We're moving.
We're not moving. Bob and I are moving.
Where are you guys going? We figured, how can we get the most central in the United States? And it's Missouri.

Speaker 1 We're going to Missouri. It's the most central state in the United States.

Speaker 1 So we're going to Missouri. I'll go to Las Vegas.
That's it. Let's go.
You'll move to Las Vegas. 100%.
Let's go. Yeah.
Tax-free.

Speaker 1 Dude, fuck this place. Let's get the fight.
Let's go to Vegas. I think it'd be better, huh? Let's do it.
can get how about this? I'll do this. We'll get a fire.
We'll keep our houses here.

Speaker 1 Nah, fuck this place. Let's get out.
I love my house. Keep your house.
Are you guys safe? The house good? Yeah. Yeah, we're good.
We're good. Yeah, yeah.
He's lucky.

Speaker 1 He hit the fire was right near him. Yeah, we're very lucky.

Speaker 1 You guys are in the hills. It's different.
For you guys, are threatened all the time. Us in the flats.
We're not that threatening as much. I'm not threatening as much.

Speaker 1 If I call this new, if I call Asian my Asian sisters, sisters,

Speaker 1 what I'm asking you is, what's the problemo, Paul Frovor?

Speaker 1 Well, I'll tell you, that is a black cultural nickname for black women, sisters. You don't do that.
You guys don't do that.

Speaker 1 Can I say brothers then? Absolutely not. Well, you can say, like, in Korean, isn't it? Hyung, right? Yeah, hyung.
Like, we can say something, like, and like

Speaker 1 me, mei, you know, in Mandarin. So maybe, maybe we got to bring that back.
Nope.

Speaker 1 Oh, so we can't. Oh, you can't even, we can't even.
We can't even refer

Speaker 1 our Asian friends,

Speaker 1 female friends, as anything remotely sister or anything like that. No.

Speaker 1 And let me tell you something, pal. You want to do that in Vancouver? You can.
But here in my country. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I think it's just a, it's a black cultural thing that when I hear somebody non-black go like,

Speaker 1 like my sisters are brothers, I'm always like, no, don't do that. That's a black thing, dude.
That's theirs. You're going to take more stuff from black people? But no, but like,

Speaker 1 brother, you you know, like there's a white people. Yeah, tell me about all the Morgan brother.
Yeah, brother. It's because he does it with such.
Well, he's also said the N-word a few times on tape.

Speaker 1 I see, I see. They have him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They caught him.
Right. No, you know what it is?

Speaker 1 It's just, I can't have Asians do it again. That's what I'm saying.
Can't have them do it again. You guys did it with Black Lives Matter.

Speaker 1 You overtook them.

Speaker 1 You did Stop Asian Hate. You remember.

Speaker 1 Two different incidents. Don't even start it.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Black Lives Matter was humming along. They were moved.
That train was chugging along. And then here comes Stop Asian Hate.

Speaker 1 Stopped it right in its tracks. Okay.
You remember. And everyone forgot about it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. All right.
So

Speaker 1 Jimmy and I, when we go back to the meeting. Yeah, when you go back.
We have our meeting once a month. You know what I mean? And, you know, Stephen, you, everyone goes.
Yeah. And we have some of our

Speaker 1 kind of call them sisters now, but like, like Aquafina, one of our sisters, we're going to change the lingo. That's the lingo now, but we'll just give it a beginning we'll come up with a new

Speaker 1 one but right now

Speaker 1 what we'll give it a word um

Speaker 1 what was the thing you said in mandarin uh uh mei mei is uh like little sister and then perfect same kuka is older brother you know there's different yeah your memes and your kukas

Speaker 1 hey that that's not that sounded that sounded kind of cool actually

Speaker 1 yeah well then be chinese bud you're gonna be

Speaker 1 oh i want to oh you know what dude i'll be chinese yeah yeah because i don't want to steal any more words or you can be you can be hyung young

Speaker 1 You are Hyung. But now what you're saying, Jimmy, is we have to memorize every fucking Japanese, what fucking mother and sister means.
I'm not going to do all that.

Speaker 1 You're not hanging out with Japanese people. We already talked about this.
Okay. Or Vietnamese.
What's the Vietnamese? I'm not hanging out with them either. I am.
No, you're not.

Speaker 1 For you, it's Korean, Chinese, Filipino. Those are the three.

Speaker 1 I don't know what you're doing right now, but I don't like it. It's working.
I don't like it. No, let's go backwards.

Speaker 1 Obviously, you can call them sisters. I'm fucking joking.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ, what show are we on?

Speaker 1 But the South Asian hate thing was funny as fuck.

Speaker 1 That was good. That was good.
It's fucking funny, dude. Yeah.
Well, let me say this. Jimmy Oyang is the best.

Speaker 1 Probably one of the greatest comedian, friends, actors, performers, souls in the comedy business. We love you so very much.
You're so, so, so nice. I think you're one of the greatest out there.

Speaker 1 Known you for a long time. Funny dude.
Great dude.

Speaker 1 You seem to not really miss a stride. You're pretty good.
Thank you. You're pretty good, man.
And you guys, man, I tell Bobby this every time, bro. I fucking look up to this guy.
Don't.

Speaker 1 Ever since I was young, you know, my dad, like, was about to buy a ticket to the improv on a night that I wasn't going to be there, but you were there.

Speaker 1 He was like, I'm going to go watch my hero, Bobby Lee. I'm going to meet your dad.
Yeah. Well, are you coming to the show at the forum? Yeah, I am.
Yes, please. When is that?

Speaker 1 Oh, you're playing a forum? Yeah. Yeah, and he asked me to do a little set.
February 28th.

Speaker 1 I would invite you. I love you, but I'm trying to make it like an Asian thing for my brother's.
Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 For your mungs and your pickpockets.

Speaker 1 Are there other Asians you asked to be on it? Who else is on it? Yeah, do you? I don't want to give away the whole lineup.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you later. So let's promote some of the things, Jimmy.
So, Jimmy, do you, what do you, so you have the TV show on Hulu? Interior Chinatown on Hulu.

Speaker 1 The forum you're playing? Yeah, the forum, L.A., February 28th. I'm Hulu.
February 8th. Yeah, I might be doing it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Bobby.

Speaker 1 Number three.

Speaker 1 What else? Your Instagram handle? What is it? It's Jimmy Oyang. Jimmy Oyang.
Yeah. And please support our brother here.
He's one of the best.

Speaker 1 I've always loved him. He's one of the greatest.
So go see him. If you're in LA, come see him at the forum February 28th, jimmyoyang.com.
JimmyOyang.com. JimmyComedy.com.
I own many websites. I own

Speaker 1 plentyofish sauce.com. I own CelebdickSize.com.

Speaker 1 They all just redirect to my site.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Awesome.

Speaker 1 So Chinese of you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So advantageous.

Speaker 1 We're going to buy all the websites. It's brilliant.
Do you ever get

Speaker 1 one last question, if I may, please wrap it up.

Speaker 1 Have you ever had a white girl see your penis and be surprised how big it is? Thank you for being a bad friend.