We're Leaving LA w/ Jimmy O Yang

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Hey, Bad Friends! This week, I'm going to be in Philly and in New York. I'm playing the Met and the Beacon.
I'm so very excited. I'm so humbled.
I cannot believe I get to play two beautiful venues, New York and Philly. Come out and see me.
Then I'm doing San Diego and Phoenix and San Francisco. We added a show.
Then I'm going to be doing Boston,

going over to Boston, my friends. And then I'm finishing this tour in Minneapolis,

Minnesota. Come see me in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
I'm doing four shows. That's

where I'm shooting my special. I'm so very excited.
Go to andrewsantino.com for those

tickets. andrewsantino.com for those tickets.
andrewsantino.com. You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?

A white dude and an Asian dude.

You two are disgusting.

You two are something.

We're bad friends.

Dude, did you fall asleep last night?

No, bro.

Yeah, you did.

No, no, no.

I liked your...

No, you have...

Today you liked it.

No, no, I liked...

So you're saying that I could have died.

No, I liked it at four in the morning.

I promise you. I could see the phone right now.
Yeah, you could see it. Well, what can you see? That I did it at four in the morning.
I know. Oh, God.
I could have died last night. You definitely couldn't have died.
He. He could have died last night.
No, he could have killed me. Well, he's sick right now, too.
Are you sick? Yeah. From the fires, dude.
It's the smoke. No, he's sick.
You know he's sick. Those are meth.
Meth nose. Meth nostrils.
I've never done meth. Those are've never done meth those are mostrils those are meth nostrils yeah bobby texted me at three in the morning saying like doors were unlocked and to come in if the fire hits that's sexy no it's not that's not sexy it's not sexy no i thought that was sexy no i had everything set up i had the cat crates everything set up and i liked it an hour later i could have died.
Because I fell asleep knowing that you were my garden angel.

And I could have died.

Angels need to take naps.

So last night, what happened?

You're saying garden angel?

Garden angel, dude.

Like he lives in a garden?

That's right, dude.

My little garden angel. He's a garden angel, dude.

He's a lawn gnome, dude.

He is, kind of.

So last night, when time did you get in?

I kept texting you on the flight.

I'm texting you from the sky.

I landed at 1035.

My God.

Oh, wow.

I saw the smoke the whole way.

It was wild.

Wow.

I saw the fires the whole way.

Last night,

I texted Carlos

because I was so tired.

I go,

so I'm going to fall asleep,

but just in case,

if it gets out of control, I'm going to leave my bedroom door open. Hot.
Yeah, and then wake me up. I have the bags packed.
Yeah. Get the cats in the cradle.
Cats in the cradle and the silver spoon. LA is on fire.
And it's Newsome Falls. Yeah, yeah.
So, is that a mayor we have? Were you going to? Hey, Los Angeles, this is Mayor Karen Bair fault. Yeah, yeah.
So, it's that mayor we have.

Were you going to...

Hey, Los Angeles,

this is Mayor Karen Baird.

Yeah,

where are you going, baby?

She's done, dude.

She's done, dude.

Right?

Yeah.

She's cooked.

She's done, dude.

Why?

She stayed silent.

They're interviewing her.

Dude,

that was crazy.

Yeah, yeah.

They were like...

Sweet British guy's like,

Madam Mayor,

have you got anything to say

to the people of Los Angeles?

You cut, you cut the, you know cut the fire department fund and all that stuff.

And she kept it quiet.

But last night, right?

So I'm like, I fell asleep.

I'm like, okay, Carlos asked me.

This morning, he liked my thing.

And so which means that he had slept through it.

So if my house is on fire, I'd be dead.

You'd be dead.

But I was texting you the whole night.

I texted you back and forth.

In fact, I got a call from Kalilah. How many calls did you get from Kalilah? Yesterday? Two.
Well, I got a call mid-flight and until I texted, I was like, I can't answer. I'm on a plane.
By the way, why can't I answer? I'm on a plane. Can't they just make it available for us to take a call on a plane? It'll interfere with the radio.
No, it won't. There's no way that's happening.
There's no way. There's no way.
there's a lot of things they should like the closing the windows when you're landing what's that all about give me a break i i know why they do that why so when it's on fire you can't see you can't see it so no one right yes you don't panic right here's another one tray table why does that have to be up up or down or whatever whatever it shouldn't matter yeah and by the way if the plane crashes the tray table i want it to cut me in half i know let it sever me in half well no it would hit your head because they want you to bend over well they want you to eat your own balls it's such a weird they like tuck your head in your lap another one here's another one that drives me crazy give it to me i feel like we're doing hacky road stuff one is up we're driving and flying what is that seinfeld not good Well you just did it That was my deal What's the deal with flying What's the deal with flying Anyway Another one is Some of you poor folk Some of you poor folk Might not know this one Okay Let me get I want you to see if you can guess Alright You can have the waist Right but what else do they want in first class sometimes what are you talking about have the waist the waist um seat belt yeah right there's another thing they tell you to do sit up straight soldier shoulder one oh the strap one yeah yeah yeah double strap it's like i'm already this why do i need that yeah they need we want this too because you'll fold in half oh is that what it is yeah you'll Fold in half. I don't, you know what? There's no logic to it, but I will say this.
You can I need that? Yeah, they need, we want this too. Because you'll fold in half.
Oh, is that what it is? Yeah, you'll fold in half.

You know what, there's no logic to it, but I will say this.

You can't tell me,

we have people that live in space, right?

We have someone that lives at the International Space Station. They live

in space. You can't tell me the plane

can't have a separate radio from me taking a phone call?

Dude, that's a good point, dude. What are you talking about?

Write a letter, dude. Karen Bass.

Will you start to write a letter to Karen Bass? Write a letter to Karen Bass.

Dear Karen Bass, why can't you figure this radio plane stuff out okay i have another one get it the fucking uh seatbelt signs on right yeah ding you have diarrhea every flight me too literally every flight so i get up see right and then the stewardess goes what do you call them flight attendant goes yeah you have to sit, right? and I go, but you're standing Cirque du Soleil you think you have better balance than me, Cirque du Soleil? Cirque du Soleil, but yes I bet you money, I want to see the stewardess Cirque du Soleil Olé Olé Olé I want to look her in the eyes and go I bet you money Lady Or sir Sir whatever Who knows Right If we were on one of those Longs in the lake I would win 100% Right Don't pretend That you're log champion You're not You know that one That's a log champion Dude look at my form Look look look Look at my form Now it's going backwards Switch Switch So You know how they go switch they go forward and they go backwards so what i'm saying is is that no if you're standing i stand if you're stand i stand don't you think stand up for your right to fight what do you have any other flight ones i'll tell you one right now this because it's crazy okay and this applies to everybody they get they entice you on these frequent flyers you know they're like oh you get miles right like it means shit it doesn't mean shit it doesn't mean diarrhea they lie they so here's what happens yeah i'm in terminal five i'm about to fly on jet blue because it shares it with american i fly to american my whole career we've been on the road you know why because you're an american god bless god is good god bless america uh no but i but look i've been i've been an american customer because my dad was when we traveled a lot now i've switched a lot back and forth but i have over a million miles on american over a million right and check this out i politely go to the i politely go to the lounge and i say to the woman hey i know i'm not traveling american today um i'm traveling jet blue it's the same terminal they don't have a lounge but like i want to get something to eat because i haven't eaten like i'm running around i haven't eaten i go is it cool if i go in there because i'm uh and she goes you have to fly american i go can i show you my i've i've my loyalty or whatever and she's like no i don't care and i have the card i was like no i mean just please can i just get like a coffee and something to eat i haven't eaten all day she's like no you, no, you have to be flying American. And I said, I have over a million miles.
What else do you want me to do? Dude, I give your company so much money every year. I'm not saying I'm entitled, but it's like, dude, cut me a break.
Can I get a coffee and a fucking donut? I fly with you guys a million fucking miles a year. I don't want to fight with you.
Start it. Yeah.
Start it. I don't want to.
No, start it. I don't want to start another fire.
No, start it. I don't want to start another fire.
I don't want to fight with you. Start it.
Yeah. Start it.
I don't want to. No, start it.
I don't want to start another fire. No, start it.
I don't want to start another fire. Start one in this room.
And then we'll get an alert. By the way, we get an alert on our phone.
Meh. Meh.
And Bobby goes, you're telling the whole city to evacuate. I was like, read it.
I was mentioning common things that normal people go through, right? And you had to throw in. Oh, the first class strap was a common thing, you fucking liar? You fucking liar.
This is what the fans don't know. You're a fucking liar.
No, you're a liar. He started off by saying the poor people, liar.
I never said that. Yeah, you fucking did.
Roll the tape. Oh, yeah, I did.
Yeah, he did. Okay.
Here's what he does. He plays this victim card and the fans think like, poor innocent Bobby.
Dude, he's a brat. You guys don't know shit.
You guys are so out of your element. And by the way, everybody can get access to a lounge.
That's not like a privileged thing. If you travel with an airline enough, you can go to the lounge.
It doesn't matter how many points you have, you can go. And by the way, and by the way, little boy, you didn't have any status until I signed you up for all of your frequent flyers because I said, I'm trying to help you out.
Another thing you don't fucking take care of. I didn't listen to a word you just said.
Let me say something, okay? I know you did. Carla, you've been to the airport with him, right? Oh, yeah.
What's up with him in the lounge? He's always like, meet me in the lounge. What am I? I'm like, I don't want to go to the lounge.
I want to go get a snack. I want to eat food.
We have money. We can go to Dunkin' Donuts.
They have better snacks. Why would I pay when i can just sit down they don't have chocolate donuts in the lounge well you should stop getting dunkin donuts it's kid mentality like he's a child mcdonald's over cafeteria food yeah i'll take i'll take what he's saying go ahead george it's shitty food it's airplay lounges aren't cafeteria food no no but i know what he's saying it's it's comparative my point is i just want to have like a cup of coffee and sit down and relax because you get to the gate and you're like well there's nowhere to sit so i'm gonna stand here like a fucking dildo waiting for the flight and then it's not worth it i'd rather go to the lounge get a cup of coffee sit down read some emails it's so that's why every time i invite by the way when we do go to the lounge together you fucking liar you love it you're a fucking liar when we were in australia went in the lounges you fucking loved it didn't you didn't you liar dude you're such a liar the fact that the fans don't fucking know who you really are what is wrong with it bums me out it's crazy no i test out do you listen to yourself talking out every day my tea is way up right now dude i want to kiss you fucking okay uh- Okay, yeah.
One last thing, and then we can move on from the thing.

They should have,

obviously at the gate,

a first class line.

Oh, boy.

This is relatable.

This will be a relatable thing.

And then they should have,

they should,

no, I'm done.

Okay.

They should have the groups,

you know?

So you have group B, C,

whatever, the lettering of the-

One, two.

Whatever the numbers.

It's always numbers.

Go ahead.

Okay.

You wanted to start a fight, dude.

You even said it.

Okay.

So what?

They should have a fight.

No, I'm not done yet, though.

Go ahead.

All right.

So then they should have also a line that they don't have, right?

For the Chinese.

I know.

Dude, I knew you were going to say that.

Because I'll tell you why.

Yeah.

Okay?

They cut.

No, definitely.

They don't know how it works.

Yes, they do.

I know they do.

But they pretend that they don't.

I love them.

Thank you. I knew you were going to say that.
Because I'll tell you why. Yeah.
Okay. They cut.
No, tell me what. They don't know how it works.
Yes, they do. I know they do.
But they pretend that they don't. I love them.
So their whole thing is, what going on around here? I don't. I don't.
I don't know. You know.
I love Chinese. They cut.
They cut. They cut.
And they go in the first class. Dude, sometimes you'll see a Chinese couple.
Yeah, exactly. Old Chinese couple.
Yeah. And they'll go with the needs more time, like the disabled people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen them walk with the veterans.
I've seen them with military. Yeah, with the veterans.
You're not in the Marines. And he beeps his phone.
He beeps his phone and he's like, America. You know what I love though? This is what I love.
I love that the Chinese people. When they get to the ticket person, right? They go, how about to me? Right? How about to me? And then they go, no, you're five, seven.
You're at the end. And then they have to go, and I always make a face.
I just go. I love it.
See, when they walk by me, I go, nice try. It's a nice try.
You got to let them swing. Okay, I'll give you one for the boarding bullshit.
I'll give you one back. It doesn't make any sense, and it never has, that we don't board back to front.
Why wouldn't the back of the plane board first? It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense.
You're boarding the front and it's jamming up. Let people in the back go first.
Are you saying this? Are you put first class first and then go back? No. Because I'll tell you why that's not going to work.
First class should go last. I'll tell you why not.
Why? Because you're going to know this, okay? You like to stare at the people as they walk by. That's number one.
Yes, that's number one. I have my face.
I know. And I do this.
I sit like this, and I always have my hand out like this, right? And when they lock eyes, I go like this. I go.
Oh, move on? Yeah, move on. Wow.
Don't look. Don't look.
All right? Yeah, yeah. And if you get to the comfort plus section and the bags don't fit because there's no bag room, they light your bag on fire in front of you.
That's a very good one. Right in front of you.
Here's what I don't like, okay? What? My shit's up there, right? Some guy's late. He moves it.
Not just moves it. He does something different.
Like he tries to fucking Tetris it. He tries to Tetris it, right? I get it.
And he puts his stuff, jams yours twisted. You have no idea what's in mine.
I could have some biohaz you sometimes do i sometimes do right so don't touch mine and tetris my shit because you could set it off yeah i just don't touch my shit man by the way say that to him next time they're moving it be like oof that's gonna trip the wire yeah i wouldn't do that dude it will go off yeah so those are my things those are your rules well how about this one okay i did a nice thing yeah i switch me seats? I did a nice thing. You got your Bluetooth? Yeah.
I did a switch me thing, you know? Can I have my husband and I can sit the thing? Yeah. Of course.
No problem. I'll do it.
I'll do it anytime someone asks. No big deal.
You do? I do. How about this? Would you do this? Huh? If you were an aisle or a window.
Sure you had to be a window A middle to do it

It's six

How long is the flight?

Six hours long

Oh no

No no no

No no no

Six hours

That's correct

Come on

So I'm the guy

This is time dependent

Excuse me sir

Yeah how are you man

You know we got our tickets late

And so me and my wife

We don't have seats next to each other

But if you switch to my wife

You know she can sit next to me

So can you switch please?

She's got the middle

Thank you. And so me and my wife, we don't have seats next to each other But if you switch to my wife You know, she could sit next to me So can you switch, please? She's got the middle Um I don't Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Oh, you're not from this country Excuse me Yeah, I don't speak English right away See, how would you handle it? Ready? Excuse me, sir Hi sir.
Sir? Excuse me, sir. Hi.
Hey, my wife and I book tickets late, and we're actually going to my mom's funeral, and do you think we could switch seats so I could sit next to my wife? Sir? Oh, oh my God. You know what I do in that situation? I go right to the flight attendant.
I go, hey, can you just move this guy? Because he won't know the difference. No, no.
But I did deaf and blind. Right, right, right.
You weren't looking at me. I wasn't looking at you, right? So you got to go deaf and blind.
Deaf and blind. Right.
And then if that doesn't work, you go a little bit of like twisty. You pull the Helen Keller.
Yeah. You pull the Keller.
Yeah. So that's good.
Pull a Keller. Would you pull a Keller? On a flight? Yeah, yeah.
No, but my favorite thing to do when someone's talking to you on a flight, sitting next to you, I like to make up if they don't know if they've never seen me or like if they don't know they're like what are you going to charleston for yeah it's a fun opportunity to be like i'm an i'm an engineer i'm an aerospace engineer and i'm going to a conference right now we're actually developing a way to shoot down chinese spaceships oh wow i'll just make shit oh that's good it's fun who fucking cares and that guy's Yeah, I pretend. And then he goes and tells someone and they start a Reddit thread.
They do. Yeah.
When they ask me, I've had older white dudes who ask me like, hey, where's your family from? Right? And you already know what he wants to know. Oh, yeah.
Because if you tell him you're Corinne, then he has a story. I don't want to hear it.
I don't want to hear the story. I went went to seoul yeah yeah or yeah yeah or like his grandfather was in the war i used to exclusively date asian women yeah yeah i knew that is so i go fucking george yeah that's so i just make up a place oh where are you from bong bong you're from bong bong yeah yeah how far is that bong bong oh bong benin yeah yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Bang Island.
Oh, it's an island. Yeah, yeah.

And we're known for, if you want to know.

I would love to.

Yeah, yeah.

We have a special kind of corn that we crop.

Ooh, what color?

Purple.

Wow.

Yeah, and then we're also the best at making whistles.

That's you guys?

Yeah, we make whistles.

We invented that.

You did?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So they're different than regular whistles.

I imagine.

Yeah, yeah.

What's the sound that they make? Whip! So people have a laugh? Yeah. No one's going to come save the day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whip! Whip! Whip! That's it.
So I make it up. Because I don't want to get into their fucking...
They want to connect with you. So they try to find that thing.
It's cute sometimes. It's not cute.
But sometimes I also just want to have fun. Because by the way, when you tell them I'm a comedian or we do a podcast, they don't give a fuck.
They're like, oh, really? How come I've never seen your stuff? And you're like, well, this, I don't want to. Oh, I hate it.
You know what I mean? I hate it. Well, they'll go, oh, you're a comedian? Yeah.
You're friends with Nate Bargathe? Like, you know, he's the most famous comedian in the world. It's like, if they don't know you, show the video, by the way, Carlos, real fast.
This is my agent's fucking house, who you know, you know my agent. Yeah.
That's his home. Oh my God.
They sent that to you. Nice place.
Carlos, you're a fucking asshole. You're a piece of shit.
It's just nice that I have a nicer place than your agent now. Oh my God, dude.
Dude. Dude.
By the way, back it up just a little bit. Yeah.
Just there, right there. Yeah.
That's your place, that fireplace. That's the size of your place, right? Right around the fireplace? Yeah.
Yeah. Wow.
I texted Rainn Wilson today. His was just devastated.
Well, thank God my agent and his family and his wife got out. I mean, dude, how terrible.
This is awful, bro. Yeah.
It's awful. I picked it to Sebastian.
His is fine. Oh, he is? Yeah.
Whitney, I talked to her. She lives way out there.
Yeah, she's fine though, right? She's fine. Yeah, she said she's okay.
But you know, Kalilah's sister's house. She said we have no home to go to.
Yeah, but her house is the only one that didn't burn down. Seriously? Yeah.
They cried today because they bought their first house. They're in the desert, right? No, they're in Altadena.
No, now they're in the desert. Yeah, yeah.
And they cried because they were the only house standing. What they don't know is that for the morning last night, I took Fiji water.
You know what I mean? You did that? I did that, dude. Why Fiji? Because it's my favorite kind of water and also they're Filipino.
So I thought it was close. Right, It is near it.
Yeah, yeah. My point is that I saved their house last night.
Let's give it up for Bob saving the house. Anyway, it was- You're a hero.
It was scary. Honestly, though, I don't know if you- because I would text your wife.
Yeah. I go, what are you doing? And she's like, I'm doing- and we were communicating.
She was packing bags. She actually went to our friend's house because there was a fire right near our house.

I got so scared because I thought,

oh, dude, I'm on a plane.

Like I can't do shit.

So I just had a million texts coming in.

My favorite text that I got was from Stan Hope.

Stan Hope gave me like, I think the funniest text.

Like a lot of these, like Rachel Feinstein and stuff,

like Sam Morrell, like a lot of New York people, a lot of great. They texted you? Adrienne Ippellucci, yeah.
They didn't text me. And I'm going to have a problem all right now.
They don't know where you live. Yeah, they do.
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Shop now and elevate your wardrobe today. Stan Hope wrote, hey, just making sure Sam Morel has checked in to make sure you're okay.
I wrote, you're the man. I go, he has, but we all think it's disingenuous yeah mateo a bunch of you know what's so funny okay so many these the new york the new york comedy scene man these people are so like they all checked in rachel feinstein just hit me just now never got one from her i got one from verzi adrian ipalucci paul verzi that nice.
I got one from Mateo. God.
Howie Mandel. Oh, that's nice.
I got one from Yeah, a lot of my New York comic friends. Dylan and I were talking too because I wanted what Tim was up to.
Dan Soder, the dog. Did you get one from Rosebud? Yeah, of course.
Rosie and I were talking. I got one, yeah.
And Andy. Segura? Yep.
Talk to Tom. Ronnie Chang? Huh? Ronnie Chang.
No, thank you. I got a Ronnie Chang.
No, thank you. Yeah, that was a no thing.
I actually blocked him, I think. Thank God for Ronnie Chang.
Yeah, I didn't get a lot. No, I didn't get...
It's not that I got a... Yeah, yeah.
It's just nice... Who else? Sam Murrell.
I'm going to text him right now. No, no, no.
Don't do that. Why? Because he's not allowed to have his phone at this hour.

I'm going to go, Sam Morrell.

Can you imagine?

Yeah.

Dude, my favorite text, though, I got was from a Chicago friend

because, you know, I'm going to Chicago in the morning.

My buddy in Chicago.

Hey, man, are you okay?

Yeah, we're okay, man.

Thank you.

Cool.

Can I get a ticket for tomorrow's show?

No.

Yeah, you got it.

Where are you going tomorrow?

I'm going to Chicago. Wow.
Playing in the Chicago theater. Oh, this weekend? Saturday, yeah.
Wow. Big, big, big moment.
Big moment, dude. Sold out, I heard.
It's sold out. Yeah, yeah.
It's a big thing for me, man. It's like going home, it does something to me.
I can't explain how much I appreciate it. It's incredible.
What are you talking about? No, it just shocks my soul that people will come out like that. It's just nuts.
It's awesome. I'm genuinely so like,

Jesus Christ, it's crazy.

Well, you deserve it.

When I was a kid,

no, I'm saying when I was a kid, dude,

we went to go see,

like my mother took,

my grandmother wanted to go see

Phantom of the Opera

and she was like,

we're going to go,

we're going to Chicago Theater.

Like it was a big deal.

Like I had to fucking dress up.

Oh, wow.

But now we go there,

we tell,

what is that about?

Penis jokes.

What is the Phantom of the Opera about?

Dun.

I know, I've seen the posters. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun posters that's what it's about that christine dun dun dun dun dun dun what is phantom of the opera it's uh it's a dark twisted tale of a uh you would love it dude it's exact it's right up your alley oh yeah i love dark and twisted tell me what it's about it's general give me a general a physical reject who falls in love with this woman and he tries to look that he's got to cover up his face because his face is all fucked up and he's in love with this woman but she's she's she's with another man and he's trying to get her back into his good graces but what happened to his face acid no acid he went over to saudi arabia made a couple of uh he was pro-gay rights that's what it's about yeah well no that's right they threw acid because he had a black girlfriend they wow did not like that in saudi is there's really a black woman in it or they just cast what do you mean they cast what do you mean was there originally black cast members well i just see just see that photo right now, and there's a black woman.

I don't care if there is.

Sounds like you do.

No, I'm just, it's curious.

Is it set in the South?

Yeah.

Is that racist?

It's set in Alabama.

Okay, so it's a- Christine, you better come back to my cave.

No.

Look, look this up.

I think it's the longest running musical in-

I think it's the longest running musical in American history. Maybe it's not.
What's number one? Phantom. It's a very good thing.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
I think it's the longest running musical in American history.

Maybe it's not.

What's number one?

Phantom.

It is.

Whoa.

13,000 performances.

It beat Chicago after it got revived.

I saw Lion King.

That was fun.

What about Wicked?

Do you see Wicked in theaters?

Do you see it?

Cold Space.

Do you see the movie?

Come on, bro.

I have zero interest in that.

Yeah, I downloaded it.

I just can't get myself to watch it.

Why would I watch that? You know what I did watch that I loved? Squid Games. Oh my god.
You love it? I love it. It's so good.
I'm being real. I thought it was going to be bad because I was like, the first was so good.
This series is going to be bad. You see it? I see it? It's so good.
You didn't watch it? It's so good. Wait, wait, but time out.
We'll get back to Squid Games. Okay, what do you want? I watched, and I and I think it's from last year or the year before, but I was catching up on How To with John Wilson on HBO.
That guy's so brilliant, and I mean it. He's so, what, you don't like it? Remember you tried to charm me? I saw a couple of those.
I didn't like it. Buddy, it's so good.
It's such brilliant comedy, man. I don't like it.
He's so fucking funny. I don't know what it is.
Why don't you like, you don't get his shit? I don't get don't get it here's what it is it's an alternative subversive look at the world of new york through this got this artist lens you're such an artsy guy i can't believe you don't like it yeah go back to squid okay squid games squid games yeah once i'm genuinely i'm saying this from the bottom of my heart once again the fucking asian community makes another banger korean okay more specific i said asian okay but but here's my problem why can't american fucking shows do a second run and it's just as good as the first why why can't we do that we don't we fuck up all the time you mean like do a better second season yes we don't do we almost we well i mean severances should be good when it comes out. I hope.
I mean, the first was so good. Well, who the fuck knows? Got 100% season two.
Got 100% Rotten Tomatoes? On Severance? You saw it already? It's out already? No, there is a post. Season one was great.
I love that. But I'm just saying, it's like American shows, they struggle a lot with coming back with another thing.
And this show, I think, is... I'm not done.
I think it's going to be just as good as the first well the third one you know who's in it you know how are you how are you

not in it i'm not korean i don't speak korean yeah yeah you fucking do no i don't i'll be able

to say where's the bathroom and pussy i mean i mean those are the only words i know the only

thing bibimbap food i've heard you say that to your mom yeah yeah where's the bathroom pussy

yeah yeah how do you say that as one sentence say Say, where's the bathroom? Beyonce Orisa Bo-ji. Bo-ji's pussy.
Beyonce Orisa Bo-ji? Yeah, yeah. Beyonce Orisa Bo-ji? I'm going to say that.
By the way, I'm going to South Korea. You got to come with me.
Okay. Do you want to go for real? Yeah, let's go.
No, I'm dead serious. Yeah, I just said yes! But like, can we go-go? I want to go.
Why are you going? I'm going for that golf thing that I'm doing now. I'm doing a golf show.
I just got back from what? I can't go to the course with you, but I'll just go. Please.
I'm not going to the course. All right, let me tell you something.
I know you don't care. I'm just going to inflate your ego.
Yeah. I went to go meet a bunch of people and say hi and introduce myself because it's like the beginning.
In Miami? Yeah. And dude.
Who's that? The amount of guys. Who? No, no, no, no, no.
The amount of guys that were like. What celebrities were there? Yo.
Nobody. They're pro golfers.
You don't know them. Okay.
But the amount of guys that were like, yo, I love you and Bobby. Oh, really? Where's Bobby? And I was like, dude, it'd be rad to bring you.
Now that I know that you will go to South Korea, you have to come. I'm going to go.
So the squid game, can I just do a real quick review? Give me your review. What's surprising about it is I was fearful about um redundancy right so in your mind you're like okay where can they go with this because they're gonna they gotta showcase the games again yeah but in terms of the angle and the different kind of characters are in it i mean i really like the trans character in it yeah she had honor yeah she had honor dude and you know what they do have honor in life all of them all of them i don't the ones that i know have honor how many do you know how many trans people do you know for real yeah two and they both have honor they're so honorable they're not honorless they're not honor none of them lack honor no yeah they know who they are they know who they are and they know what they're doing is that what honor is let's talk about um a complete unknown too such a phenomenal film it's just a it's phenomenal but um what i like about it is um it's there was a sigh of relief once i heard timothy chalamet sing talk and sing right like when he's um by with next to woody next to Woody in the hospital.
Yeah. And he sings a song for Woody, right? And there's a part in the song where there's like a little bit of a hold of a note in the song.
Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Yeah.
And he was just so committed and he sounds so much like Bob. And I began to cry because I'm like, I got it right you cried in the theater oh yeah wow that's gene gene hung would keep looking at me and i literally weeped what's so funny were you crying like to look cool in front of gene a little bit yeah because you knew he kept looking at you you think you crying in the theater to bob dylan would bring back Magnum P.I.
Magnum P.I. Do another season

Gene. Yeah.
you think you crying in the theater to bob dylan would bring back magnum pi do another season gene yeah yeah yeah um no all right no because him and i had walked out of movies before yeah yeah this one you but this one we i you know we always do a little korean glance at each other what a little wink yeah to see if we're gonna leave oh you know what I? So I looked at him And I had tears in my eyes and he was Very pleased you know? Yeah he's proud Proud and so And I used to work with this girl Monica Barbaro She's so good Joan Baez she's so good It's unbelievable And the movie is Carlos She's very pretty but- Carlos. Carlos, come on.
She is. She's very pretty, but- Carlos? Carlos's commentary is always- It's so bad.
You know what it is? Yeah, it's degrading. It's Howard Stern in 96.
We say any girl, he's like, great taste. I know.
I know. It's so funny.
Yeah. She's gorgeous.
Yeah, but the movie was just great, and I saw- So good. Another one was Gladiator 2.
You see it? I haven't seen it. Now, do you do the relaxed seats? Did you do the seats that go down? No, we didn't relax.
I did the unrelaxing one. See, I like to go to the, what is it called? See what? It's just like the lounge again.
We're going to bring it back to the lounge. The best gaslighter I've ever met in my entire life.
No, I mean, honestly. Honestly.
It's impressive. It's impressive how much of a fucking gaslighter you are.
It's like disgusting. Anybody can go to that theater.
I like to be in the recliner seats because of my back. This is what gaslighting is, okay? You have no fucking idea.
Okay, if there's a light on. You think it's Cirque du Soleil, you fucking.
If there's a light on and I tell a woman, I go, there's no light that's on. And I try to convince her that the light's on.
Go get some gas. Yeah.
So what I'm saying to you is that. You bring the gas.
You bring up lounges and comfortable seats all the time. How's that gas lighting? What? Your argument's so fucking bad, it's unbelievable.
It's like, it's shocking how many holes are in your bullshit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What are you talking about?

I'd like to go to the theater to lounge.

Everyone likes the fucking recliner seats.

It's the best seats.

Okay.

They're by far the best.

I don't do those.

What are you talking about?

Because it's not close to your house?

What theater do you go to?

The Grove.

You go to the fucking Grove?

What are you so angry about?

Yes, I go to the fucking Grove, dude. You go to the Grove? Yeah.
I know why you go to the fucking grove what are you so angry about yes i go to the fucking grove dude you go to the grove yeah i know why you go to the grove same i know exactly why he goes oh here we go let's start now it's bobby lee hey man what's up smoking a cigarette fuck you that's not why yes it is that's not why carlos and george that's not why that's not why dude fucking where do i go then there's where's the little relaxing see how many theaters there are in the fucking valley that you can go to you know where they fucking are you liar they're all over burbank burbank has three movie theaters within a mile of one another yeah and they're so close to your house what's what i love about going to the movie? Smoking outside. That's not why!

Is that Bobby Lee? That's not why, dude. You love it.
You love it too. Anyone going to a movie theater, I want to let you know.
I went to go see, with my mom, Nostrofto. Did you like it?

I have my opinions about it.

All right.

Vampiric.

You saw it?

No.

Okay.

And what I love about going to the theater with my mom is she's so weird, no one approaches me.

I love your mom.

My mom was laying down.

Beautiful.

You know when you wait in line to get popcorn?

Just off to the side, she had just laid down because her back hurt.

Let her be comfortable.

I know.

And I was Me and my brother

Ardessa

Thank you. Beautiful You know when you Wait in line To get popcorn Just off to the side She had just laid down

Because her back hurt

Let her be comfortable

I know

And I was

Me and my brother

Are just squatting next to her

Like come on get up

How about this

Come on get up

Right

She's no no my back

My back

Right

And we just

And no one approaches us

Because they think

You know what I mean

They think it's either

Family crisis

Family crisis

Or an emergency

Of some sort

Right

But they don't approach

If her back hurts

Why don't you take her

To the recliner seat theater

Okay I'm not going elitist like you. It's so funny.
Elitist. It's open to the public.
It's literally just a movie theater. Anyway, so you're back good? At the theater? I had epidurals.
It feels so much better now. I had an epidural put in my back.
I have another one i gotta have another one put in my did you see north for off too yeah i loved it you did yeah i watched a disturbing movie in my last uh movie of the flight last night what was it called um called a simple man the simple man or a simple man it's old it's an old movie cohen brothers yeah a simple plan no simple man i thought yeah a simple man is a comb yeah that's right stephen park's in that yeah it was really fucking tough it's hard to watch it was just it just makes you fucking sad is it like falling down a serious man i apologize i'm serious man i'm sorry yeah it's really hard to watch it like hurts your heart it's about a man who what's going on here with him well it starts with like a jewish parable at the beginning and then it goes into this man's life in the 60s i believe 50s or 60s and his his what i mean everyone's shits on this guy he's a professor at university it's literally no respect and his wife is like leaving him for their fucking neighbor who's like a buddy who like comes over and he's like you know we're we're thinking about we're thinking about you moving out of the house and me movie like and he's taking it all on the fucking chin it's really what is steven park playing it he's korean he's he's uh i think he's the student one of the students okay okay it's just a dark look it's beautifully done but man it was hard to watch he's the dad he's the dad of the student that's right let's do it wow it was just one of those movies where you're like, it's- But does he snap?

Look at that. He's hugging his wife's lover.

What?

Does he snap?

You can watch the movie.

I bet you could figure it out.

So it's like falling down.

I thought that movie was-

Falling down.

Dark.

Very dark.

But this is dark in a way that's like,

it's shot in such bright, beautiful colors.

I mean, bright, beautiful for the time period

that it looks happy, but it feels fucking atrocious and he's trying to get tenure and nobody wants him to get tenure life is hard huh it's a guy that like yeah you're surprised he doesn't jump yeah i thought falling down was the best representation of los angeles i've ever seen better than like swingers because Because swingers to me. Yeah, because there was a scene where he's like going on off-ramp on the 101 or whatever.
Yeah, I love that. It's so traffic-y and just- He like runs on a golf course.
The tone of it, it just looks like LA to me. It feels like LA to me.
You can just track where he's walking in LA. Exactly.
You know exactly where those. Well, what about what about what's wrong with me? Pacino.
Yeah. What about heat? That too.
Yeah. So Los Angeles.
I mean, like, in fact, in heat, sometimes when I rewatch that movie, I see the underpasses they're shooting at and I'm like, I know that I used to drive under there all the time. One 10.
Yeah. Like that's such a great like you see Santa Monica and Western make that kind of that kind of la where it's like it doesn't you can't really see that in movies it's sort of like it kind of looks like mexico yeah it looks like when you go to it looks like when you go to down to mexico it looks oh it looks very like what is it called uh uh barrios barrios haciendas yeah i don't even know what i'm saying you get a mixture of like a lot of hisics.
And then you also get a mixture of tourists that kind of made the wrong turn. Chinese tourists.
Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah.
Hey, bro, you're in the wrong fucking hood. Can I take your picture? Yeah.
Pose, dog. That LA is dead, by the way.
That LA is dead, you mean? LA as we know it is dead. Why? This is a red a red alert red alert after the pandemic and the fires and the strike fucking la we gotta go i hate to say it to you buddy but it's happening no no no it's happening 100 we're leaving where are we going i don't give a fuck but we're leaving we're leaving we gotta go dude what are we doing anymore because us me you and tim dylan were talking about like we have to stay i know we said the exact opposite on the show yeah we that's the best part about podcast yeah we have to we have to be the last one standing we should stay i don't want to yeah but gavin newsome and fucking karen bass and all the bullshit of this fucking city and it's never going to get rebuilt right and the fuck they can't get hollywood to stay what are we doing yeah they fucked us By the way, I listened to Adam Carolla this morning talking about, because this guy, he's grew up in Los Angeles.
He's lived here his whole life. He was talking about how good luck rebuilding Malibu.
These people are going to have to fucking try to get permits. Good luck.
Why? Good fucking luck. Because it's going to be a billion people trying to get permits from the city of LA.
And this city is insane with building permits.

It's crazy.

There's a million rules and restrictions.

There's so much regulation in Los Angeles.

It's going to take them forever.

But what if I had a house that burned down?

I have to get a building permit to rebuild my house?

Of course you do.

And you have to get a million different kinds of them.

Wow.

And never mind that.

Talk about all the insurance companies that fucked over all those people.

They're never going to rebuild.

And even if they do, it's going to take three years before the Palisades even exists anymore.

Wow.

The whole city is fucked. Yeah.
What are they going to do with these stars and stuff? It's not just stars, dude. I mean regular people, too.
All to D. Cut that out.
No. Yeah, yeah, cut that out.
No, leave it in. Fuck you.
Cut that out. Cut that out.
No, no, no. Please.
out No no no Please It came out wrong

It came out wrong

And that's why it has to stay in

All

No all people

No all people

Altadena

Keep it in

He will

Don't keep it in

I'm scared

It's fun

Stop

Please

Shut up

Yeah you shut up dude

Let them know who you are

No I don't know who I am

Yeah

I'm a good guy

Altadena

Altadena

Altadena is like a

A regular working class neighborhood

I'm sure there's some nice house there

But it fucked up a lot of people man that was the that was the misinformation of the news people like this is just superstars you're like dude it's fucking 30 000 acres exactly so many people what do you mean and it's probably look at the total acreage that's been burnt in los angeles county and by the way we're doing this podcast while while it's more than manh. It's bigger than Manhattan is burned.
Wow. And we're doing this while it's on fire still right now.
Yeah. People at home.
Just the Palisades is over. 17,000, just the Palisades.
Also, can they do this? You know what happened? I called you two hours ago, right? Wow. Yeah.
So they did a evacuation alert on everyone's phone. Two hours.
Did you get that? On accident, yeah. On accident, though.

Yeah.

Don't do that.

Don't do that.

Who's the guy like,

ha ha ha, watch this, Sean.

Beep.

You know what I mean?

And then the fucking,

like who's in charge of that?

One idiot.

Sitting in a room being like,

oh shit.

I hit it.

That scared the shit out of me.

But imagine if you and I had that,

we'd be like, do it.

Oh my God.

Don't do it.

You'd get fired.

Yeah, right away.

Yeah.

You know how many fucking,

what are they called,

Amber Alerts I just let out? But I would do Amber Alert for one of our friends' cars. Mm.
Do you know what I mean? Someone's car that we know at the comedy store. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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ZocDoc. You know,

guy, can I call you guy? Call me guy.

Sometimes when I go to a restaurant,

I'll read reviews. You know what I mean?

I do some research. You do.

I do that for my health. That's why I'm on ZocDoc.

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I know. Okay.
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Oh. Who's coming?

It's a surprise.

I want to know.

It's a surprise.

It's a fun surprise.

It's a surprise for you?

There's one hint in the room.

Wait, how do you know?

Why do I have to be surprised?

Why can't you be surprised? Well, if you did any organization for this show whatsoever, then you could-

Yeah, but I don't want the surprise.

If you're not going to get a surprise-

No, you're CC'd on all the emails, Bob.

You literally are CC'd on everything.

Okay, I'm going to look at it now then.

God. Which email? I're CC'd on all the emails, Bob.
You literally are CC'd on everything. Okay, I'm gonna look at it now then.
God. Which email?

I'm CC'd in it.

It's Amazon.

It says

Dermacon. What's Dermacon?

Is that a pimple?

It's for my nails.

I have High Street Beast.

What's High Street Beast? Clothing.

Sick. Oh, shit.
Yeah, sit down. What a prince.
What a prince. Prince.
Look at the prince here, dude. Blesses us.
Yeah. What happened to your glasses? It's gone.
Why? Korean doctor helped me out. Oh, really? Yeah, man.
Yeah. Dr.
Paul Lee, shout out, you know? Yeah. Shout out, Paul Paul Lee You want to wear the cans Or do you need them? I don't think I need them I can wear you guys just fine Are you guys playing clips and stuff? No No no no This isn't your mom's house As you got successful Your skin cleared up Really? Did I have bad skin? No Before You almost have Perfect skin now That is so weird uh that you look happier maybe that's what it is no there's something about your fucking skin dude really i i swear i can see the flaws now uh really yeah i thought i used to have perfect skin and now i'm stressed you know yeah what are you stressed about just stuff like why you know you're killing it you got a baby no no baby Well, then what are you stressed about? You're married.
No, I'm not married. You're not married.
You don't have a baby. What do you give a shit? This is how good Jimmy is doing.
This is how good Jimmy is doing. And I want to be honest with you.
Your ex-girlfriends are girls I couldn't even get, I don't think. No, come on, Bobby.
No, no, no. That's the fucking truth.
Let's talk truth and let's talk gospel. Let's talk gospel and truth, babe.
Right. Thank you.
What I'm saying to you is that the girls, I've seen your ex-girlfriends. Do it like the gospel.
Do it in gospel tone. Give me an example.
I've seen your ex-girlfriend. Oh, yeah.
I've seen. Here we go.
I've seen your ex-white girlfriend. And they come from the depths of the earth within each other.
And the prince of Korea has come with his clear skin and his eyes a purple white. I appreciate this.
This makes me feel good about myself, Bobby. I wasn't expecting this coming in.
You're killing it. No, I appreciate it.
But I see your presence whenever Bobby steps into a room. I have no presence, Dave.
He sits down on a couch and people just line up and gather around him.

There's an aura around him, brother.

That's not true because the last party I saw you at, who was the aura?

You.

You were the aura.

No, man.

No, man.

I'll tell you why.

No, man.

I'll tell you why.

You're the aura, my young man.

I'll tell you why.

All right?

It's because we went to Aquafina's New Year's party that's true right reach yeah right and i came late he came late i came late with a woman he was like the headliner coming no i'm not gonna do the voice we walk in who's on the dance floor was it me dancing you were dancing like a little butterfly i was trying okay like a little cream butterfly dude right and and you were the flame we were the moths no no that's not how i saw jimmy jimmy sorry sorry keep complimenting jimmy let me let me start right and i remember me jean dom we all went to you you didn't come to us we came to you on the dance floor we took a photo with you on the dance floor which means you're the light right and we're the moth yeah that sounds like it that's interesting that's how you saw it because how i saw it was you arrived yeah and then you were uh with like there's a beautiful woman next to you and uh she was very doting and every time i'll talk to you or like you know i'll talk to her to her. She was like, I got to go.
Bobby's right there. I got to take care of him.
You were like the king. She's my concubine.
Yeah, there you go. Boom.
That's it. That boy, dude.
Were there any whites at the party? Other than the one. There's some whites.
There's always. He's always with the whites.
What is up with you and the whites? As of late. He loves the whites.
As of late. I don't understand.
He loves the whites. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no. I'm into authenticity.
I dated black girls, Asian girls, you know, white girls. I think that my ex-girlfriend was very white.
Yeah. So I think people just assumed that.
But also, I don't know, like growing up in Hong Kong when everyone was Asian, like white people was exotic to me. Like how white guys here obsess over Asian girls because it's exotic.
Certain kinds of white guys. Maybe.
Yeah, you know. Weirdo white guys do., yeah.
Creepy white guys. Like George.
Yeah. Yeah.
Take one look at that guy. Tell me his wife is Asian.
For sure. 100%.
He likes Asian chicks. Yeah, 100%.
For sure. It's a kind of white guy that's obsessed with it.
Now, I find Asian women beautiful, but there's a certain kind of white guy that like obsesses over Asian women. Yeah.
He is? He does? Oh my God. No, but okay.
I'm going to ask you a question. There you go.
Mark Zuckerberg.

Yeah, yeah.

She plays the violin.

She's a violinist, I think.

Yeah.

It's always fucking weirdo white guys, dude.

It's always white girls on Raya that I match with.

You know what it always says?

What?

In common with Jimmy O. Yang.

No, come on, man.

It says it right there.

I see it.

Come on.

Damn, dude. Do you know her? I do not know her.
Come closer. You do know her? He does.
I do know her. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let me see. What? Let me see his girl.
Ex-girlfriend? No, no, no, no, no. Okay.
How do I see your photos? I'll show you. That's hilarious.
Touch it? Wait, Bobby, did you talk to her?

Well, I forgot to read the Jimmy Uyeng part, so I did say hi.

This is how you know she loves Asian guys?

Bruce Lee is one of her profile photos.

I know.

Bruce Lee is one of her profile photos. But that's a good tell.

That's like, you in.

And Jackie Chan.

I know.

I understand that.

I'm not exaggerating.

I swear to God, it is. But this is what I find.
Because I want to say this. One time- Jimmy O.
Yang. Damn, you look good, dude.
What? Me? Wow, hot guy, huh? Let me look. Fucking hot, dude.
Hot, dude. So one time you were at the improv, this was years ago, and you had a girlfriend, right? Uh-huhhuh she dressed in an asian thing she was a white girl really yeah and then she also had a her purse had like pearls in it but it looked like you know the green jd you know i mean it looked like an asian bag for real yeah so i'm wondering with this girl i think you are the influence oh once they meet you they become more asian and then now you mean it opens them up to our market that's you know what let's put that out there yeah if she was already predisposed to asian dude yeah jimmy jimmy is the once you go black jimmy's the once you go yellow yeah you bang bobby lee awesome yeah you know that's that's Once you go yellow, find yourself another asian fellow that's right i think that's what it is that's it you're the opening so you know but because i felt that too where i've like gated a white girl and then they were like you go to their house and you go oh yeah they're they're prone to us yes yes yeah they're aware yeah there's like a poster of like watch mulan or something yeah and then there's like you know a lot of bamboo and bonsai trees those those chinese stress balls yeah those stress bars yeah yeah but or george has those at his dinner table 100 um it's a different time though i feel like now with so much representation like with squid games bts everything too much who isn't into asians like i wish i high school and middle school now.
I think it would be a different game. But Jimmy, some of them are not.
And you've seen them, have you not? I think so. I think so.
They just won't. They won't do it.
What are you talking about? Some white girls, they just won't cross that line. Some girls in general are just not interested.
I'm just saying it's like a- I just don't like the way you said it yeah why did you say it like some women aren't interested period has nothing to do

with you being asian they're just not interested they're not interested in my type your type is

not because you're your type is specific you know hey so it's my wait wait wait wait wait

are you fucking telling me what that you and i are on two completely different categories yes

I don't know. Andrew, Andrew.
As Carlos, somebody, third person point of view. Here's what I would say.
Yeah. Jimmy is...
I understand. He's a starter on Arsenal and you're you're in the locker room and you're there and you're cheering on the boys and you're on the team but you're not on you're not on a midfield by the way this is is that what you're saying Jim? he's a superstar he's a superstar that's not what i was saying the kid's a fucking superstar no come on guys we know he is 100% he is well what do you guys do better than me what are you guys talking about that's not true you own your studio you own podcast you have staff you have staff of white people well first of all he's he's actually half mexican so that's we got points for him carlos i heard about you man one of my best friend pj a big fan of the podcast uh says he like glory holes he loves that's the glory king baby it's getting around right yeah yeah i'm glad it's getting around yeah and you know what honestly you you're here let's let's squash this now your appeal for women is just different than yours you get plenty of beautiful women they're just different kinds of women.
I get it. I've accepted it.
Right. I'm not fighting against the- Because I've seen beautiful women with you.
Yeah, no. But what I'm saying is that I have to say that he's still in a different category.
Yep. So are Carlos and I.
So we're- Yeah, yeah. I think it's just different.
But when we get casted, we're in the same category. That's my problem.
No one's casting you guys in the same. You guys are no fucking...
What casting? So I was up for the Joe Coy part. Did you do that part? Well, I produced that movie.
Easter Sunday. It's his fucking movie.
Which part? The one Asif Ali ended up playing? What? The one Asif Ali? The bad guy part. The bad guy? No, there was a part that he said he had written for me that I got offered.
I couldn't do it because I was doing Borderlands. Oh, I think there was a part.
Yeah. I don't know.
It wasn't my part. Okay.
Because my part, I couldn't do another part. So I was like, I'll come in for a day.
Okay. But I've also been in other situations where Jimmy O'Yang got the part and I didn't get it.
But that's just because it's- But it was for the same part was I'm saying that he beats me out. They just want to see how- So if we're in the same category- You're not.
When it comes to- I think that's a very broad- Like it's not- It's Hollywood's issue that at times we're in the same category. Because if Santino and like who will be, I don't know, like another white guy that would be totally a different guy.
Like you and- Me and Anthony Jeselnik aren't going to the same fucking role yeah yeah exactly or like you and Patton Oswalt could go out for different roles but you guys are very different people or you and Ryan Gosling could go out for different roles I'm not saying you're you know I'm just saying yeah no you're right it's all very different people and sometimes it's just people are dumb like the category could could also just be Asian funny guys or whatever, right?

Like, oh, whatever.

It's different.

You okay, Bobby?

He's a little shocked.

He's a little stunned.

He got a little hit.

He got a little hit.

I'm good.

I'm good.

I'll agree with you.

Well, also-

No, no, stop, stop.

Well, you're also different in age.

I mean, Jimmy's 37 years old.

And also Korean and Chinese, very different, you know?

Well, that part I don't know about.

I understand that.

I understand that.

I know we're different.

Yeah, he's Chinese.

You're right.

Do you know what I mean?

I take that back.

Thank you.

I'm older.

Also, be nice to the Chinese.

I love the Chinese.

Just be nice.

I love that stuff.

Just be nice.

Okay.

Because he gets on his little high horse and he doesn't- Oh, you think what's the high horse what's the he starts spouting hatred about china he'll do it he'll just crack one open and start flying off the handle well i mean you guys don't know how to wait in line see how do i wait in line we talked about it you guys don't even know how in mainland china somewhere okay oh no here yeah everywhere baskin robbins it doesn't matter where it is chinese be skipping lines dude oh for real yeah chinese be i mean you guys are the ones are we going oh my god there they go again i can't support that stereotype maybe in certain parts yeah right now um they'd be skipping chinese people skipping line do skipping in line skipping line yeah look at all those people skipping in line they're all skipping somebody or what are your qualms about chinese my qualms yeah qualms about Chinese? My qualms? Yeah. Is that a Chinese word? What's qualms? Is that a real word? Yeah, qualms is good.
Yeah, yeah. My issues.
What are your issues about Chinese? Do you have any? What's my qualm with Chinese? People? Anything about it. The culture.
Let's start with the food. Okay, how about this? I can't do that.
chinese food is really good it's good i like it a

lot i really like chinese food yeah like what's this with this cantonese stuff and szechuan you know i mean like pick one thing you know i mean szechuan love szechuan what do you mean hotter the better i think chinese is hard to chinese food is hard because i really love that yeah but when it's bad it's bad how about this one the language we've talked about the language is harsh it's sharp

it's well which one

there's also a lot

well Mandarin

okay

what's the one

that you are? I can speak a few, but. That's fucking arrogant.
I'm not saying that. No, no, because I grew up, like I grew up in Hong Kong, but my parents speak Shanghainese.
Okay, so if I'm in Hong Kong, let me. Cantonese will be in Hong Kong.
Cantonese. Yeah, yeah.
Say something in Cantonese. I'm going to see if it's harsh.
How about this? Say, hey, you guys, save me a seat when you get to the restaurant in that world. See, it's like, Jesus fucking Christ.
Yeah, that's a lot. All right.
It's like a machine gun going off. Yeah.
I got to. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, listen, in Korean, save me a seat when you get there.
What? In Korean, save me a seat. I don't that Make it up, fuckhead Very nice, I'm going to save a seat No, he's saying it very softly That's bullshit I have never heard that tone That's how they talk Squid Game, they're on the run for their life They have to be yelling Give me the Korean, let's hear it That's Korean, here we go.
It's very hard. They're on the run for their life.
They have to be yelling. Give me the Korean.
Let's hear it. That's Korean.
Here we go. Pretty similar.
Yeah, that's what's... Yeah.
Do they have Cantonese? They might have Cantonese. They might have...
Let's hear the... Just put Mandarin in.
Yeah, let's go. Oh, there you go.
It's Cantonese. Let's hear it.
That's new. They don't have it.
God bless. Because they don't have enough...
Oh, they don't... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because they can't get a voiceover guy that has a harsh... Go Mandarin do Chinese traditional Let's go Chinese Simplify There you go Ow You know what they had to put it with a woman's voice Exactly Why is that It's just an aggressive thing What's up with Tai Chi Is that a martial arts or is that? What is that? Yeah, yeah.
It's just an aggressive thing, you know? And, you know, what's up with Tai Chi? Is that a martial arts or is it a meditative thing that you're doing? It's a little bit of both. I've never seen anyone fight anyone with Tai Chi.
I don't think you fight Tai Chi. It's an exercise.
Yeah, dude. How is this a martial arts, dude? There's no way to do it.
See, that's the opposite aggressive.

That is true.

There's no Asians more aggressive than Koreans, I think.

I don't care how long.

Koreans will kick your ass.

Yes, they will.

For good or for bad.

And don't ever forget that.

I don't fuck with you, Bobby.

Yeah, don't fuck with me, okay?

What about Japanese, though?

Japanese got some wild motherfuckers.

I don't know a lot.

There's not a lot of authentic Japanese people in LA, I feel like. I like Japan.
I like to experience in Japan. What does that say about Japanese that they don't want to live in LA? That's interesting because there's a lot of Korean and a lot of Chinese here, but not a lot of Japanese.
Yeah. Why not? I don't know.
You think it's a superiority thing? Because he always says they have a superiority complex. I never said that.
Yeah, you do. That's insane.
What do you mean? We have that on tape. Yeah.
You say the best you say that all the time they are the best okay what the fuck what are we saying then I just said what you said okay you said they have a superiority complex they think they're complex that was a legitimate accident but don't you think that they're perceived as the best or no what do you think Jimmy I think it's because they project that I think they run their country very well there's There's good food. There's a good sense of respect there.
There's a high-speed railway. Love.
That's a very good one. You know? I'm a big fan of Japan.
Yeah, me too. Big fan of Japan.
By the way, I'm going to Hong Kong for the first time. Are you touring there? No, I'm doing like a new show that I'm doing.
So I'm going to go there for a couple of days. Is that when you're going to go to Korea? That same time? We're going to go to Korea right after.
Okay. Yeah.
Oh, that's... Wait, what kind of show is this? Like a travel show? no it's like there's like a there's like a new show that I'm doing.
So I'm going to go there for a couple of days. Is that when you're going to go to Korea? That same time? We're going to go to Korea right after.

Okay.

Yeah.

Oh, that's,

wait, what kind of show is this?

Like a travel show?

No, it's like a,

there's like an alternative golf league

and I'm starting like a little,

a little show that I'm doing with them

where I'm talking,

like a walk and talk with players

and we just goof around

and get like a glimpse of their life.

That's the dream.

I do.

It's a big dream for him.

For me, it actually,

it genuinely is.

Do you play golf?

I can't.

Me either.

I don't have the patience.

Me either, dude.

I'm too, I'm too angry.

Too Chinese.

Yeah, too Chinese.

Too Chinese.

Too Korean, too Chinese.

Do you play golf? I can't. Me either.
I don't have the patience. Me either, dude.
I'm too angry. Too Chinese.
Yeah, too Chinese. Too Chinese.
Too Korean, too Chinese. Do you think you could beat me in ping pong? Probably.
That's you guys' golf. You know, well, ping pong is Asian golf.
Ping pong is a weird thing because, first of all, people assume I'm good at ping pong. And I used to be really good because Okay.
Because I trained when I was a child in Hong Kong. But now it's really shameful because I haven't played in so long.
People assume I'm good and I'm actually not good. I can't.
I can look good playing. But you just said that you could beat me even though you're not good.
Go fuck yourself. No, if I, you know.
I can beat you. Yeah, okay.
By the way, by the way, he crossed his leg so eloquently as he said, yeah, I probably could beat you. This is a very uncomfortable chair.
What do you guys want me to do? Because I was leaned up. I don't want your audience to be like, oh, he seems uncomfortable.
Bert Kreischer sat in that chair. You know? That's right.
Jack Black sat on that chair. A lot of famous people.
A lot of famous people sat on that chair. Wow.
Machine Gun Kelly. Sat in that chair.
The pink one, right? Yeah, pink one. Oh, sorry about that.
Stay in the blue one then. Yeah, that one's a blue one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. How's your show, by the way? Everyone seems to absolutely love your show.
And Terry Channett. Yeah.
Yeah, man. It was awesome.
I think from what I hear, they haven't shared the numbers with us, but from what I hear, people are really liking it. Chloe Bennett's on that? Chloe Bennett, Ronnie Chang's on it.
And our good friend, Lisa Gilroy, who we love so very much. She's great.
She is amazing, right? Number one, dude. Yeah.
Chloe Bennett, look at that, Ronnie Chang, we love us from Ronnie Chang. And that's Alan, is that Alan? No, that's Charles Yu.
Oh, I couldn't see. Zoom in.
He's a showrunner and that's Taika. Taika's great.
Taika's great. Taika's awesome.
That's great. Good for you, dude.
This is amazing. It's huge.
It's on Hulu, right? Yeah, it's on Hulu. Amazing.
Yeah. We love Hulu.
We love Hulu. We love Hulu.

We love Hulu.

We got specials coming out on Hulu.

Oh, really?

Both of you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, maybe I should do one.

Wait, Bobby, I thought the first piece of advice Bobby told me when I was coming up,

he was like, don't ever do a stand-up special.

Save your material and then you can tour with the same material in colleges for 20 years.

30.

Yeah?

30.

Yo, that was sound advice.

you know he's like why would you want to do a

Thank you. material in colleges for 20 years 30 yeah 30 yo yo that was sound advice you know he's like why would you want to do a special and then now you have to write and the whole new hour we literally i took that i took that to heart man you know did what you did you didn't go by my fucking suggestion you've done you've done a few i i don't i seriously i i swear like when i said okay i'll do one and i Yeah.
And I said, I'll do my second one for this amount of money and I'll quit. Yeah.
Then, you know, it's just too fun, man. This is what we do.
Yeah. There's so much fun.
Bobby, this is your, well, how many specials have you done now? None. So this is your first one.
This is huge. Yes.
Yeah, it's a big deal. This is huge.
It's just, okay. Yeah.
Wow. When is it coming out? We don't know yet.
Okay. But, you know.
Wait, we do. He filmed it at the end of this year.
don't know yet I can't believe that I can't believe that I gave you that suggestion it's sound advice yeah but you didn't go with advice only 10 years later him going against your advice worked out pretty well for him I think we did it when you were in I remember the day it was when I was living in the apartment on Beachwood. When I did Tiger Belly.
Yeah, yeah. That's when I gave you the advice.
I don't remember now. The Beachwood days.
The Beachwood days. Where are you living now? You're still in Los Angeles, aren't you? Yeah.
Is your house okay? Yeah, yeah. Were you scared last night? I was.
I went to K-Town. And they didn't evacuate my place, but I'm like, dude, let me just go to the hotel in K-Town, grab all my stuff.
Yeah. What are you going to do, man? Are you going to stay in LA la i don't i you know you know what i like i like vancouver i've shot a couple things in vancouver yeah it's really nice great chinese food it's yeah so expensive expensive but i mean it's expensive anywhere yeah no no you're not in fucking idaho right montana right but see these are places great for you like you know yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you know what you mean good thank you it's good for you and back in the day everyone's like this whole country was great for people like me and then we let you guys in yeah because everyone's like why don't you move to texas why don't you move to no we don't like nashville whatever i'm like that's not but texas right for me it's okay for you no no it's fine I like it just like I like it here I can you know assimilate I can make all kinds of all my friends with different ethnicities but like Vancouver like I just felt like home I felt like Hong Kong it's very majority and I felt there's a weird like familiarity and safeness and the food just makes sense to me there.

Yeah.

Canada's great, man. Here's the thing about whites anywhere else, okay?

It's not that they have hatred.

It's that they don't see people like us often.

Like when I was in Butte, Montana shooting that movie.

Yeah.

I was at an AA meeting, okay?

And some guy was pouring coffee in people's glasses.

The guy came up to me and goes, hey, man, sorry we don't have any green tea. That's a very accommodating one.
It's actually pretty polite. I drink coffee too, man.
You know what I mean? We know, but what happens when you do drink coffee? Why don't you guys turn off? I don't want you kung fu-ing. Don't be kung fu-ing.
It's somebody that isn't around us that often and then they just want to be nice. That's right.
But it comes out a little racist, but I don't mind that. People are just trying to acclimate themselves to us.
It's not malicious. I don't feel bad after that happens, but I feel like, could I really be friends with this man? Maybe.
Maybe. It'll be hard.
It'll be an uphill battle. Well, we're leaving.
We're moving. We're not moving.
Bob and I are moving. Where are you guys going? We figured how can we get the most central in the United States and it's Missouri.
We're going to Missouri. It's the most central state in the United States.
So we're going to Missouri. I'll go to Las Vegas.
That's it. Let's go.
You'll move to Las Vegas. 100%, let's go.
Yeah, tax-free.

Dude, fuck this place.

Let's get the fire.

Let's go to Vegas.

I think it'd be better, huh?

Let's do it.

We can get, how about this?

I'll do this.

We'll get a place.

Keep our houses here.

Nah, fuck this place.

Let's get out.

I love my house.

Keep your house.

Are you guys safe?

The house good?

Yeah. Yeah, we're good.

We're good.

Yeah, yeah.

He's lucky.

He hit the fire.

It was right near him.

Yeah, we're very lucky.

Wow.

You guys are in the hills.

It's different for you. You guys are threatened all the time.
Us in the flats, we're not that... We're not threatened as much.
We're not threatened as much. If I call...
This is new. If I call my Asian sisters' sisters...
No. What I'm asking you is, what's the problemo, por favor? Well, I'll tell you.
That is a black cultural nickname for black women. Sisters.

You don't do that.

You guys don't do that.

Can I say brothers then? Absolutely not. Well, you can say like in Korean, isn't it, Hyeong, right? Yeah, Hyeong.
Like we can say something like and like Koka, Maymay, you know, in Mandarin. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe we got to bring that back. No.
Oh, so we can't. Oh, you can't even.
We can't even. reference we can't even reference

our Asian

f***ing oh so we can't oh you can't even we can't we can't even we can't even we can't even reference our asian friends female friends female friends as anything remotely sister or anything like that no and let me tell you something pal you want to do that in vancouver you can't but here in my country yeah no i think it's just a it's a black cultural thing that when I hear somebody non-black go like uh like my sisters are brothers I'm always like no I don't do that that's a black thing dude that's theirs you're gonna take more stuff from black people but no but like is that what you're gonna do brother you know like there's a white tell me about brother brother yeah brother it's because it with such... Well, he's also said the N-word a few times on tape.
I see, I see, I see. They have him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They caught him.
Right. No, you know what it is? It's just, I can't have Asians do it again.
That's what I'm saying. Can't have him do it again.
You guys did it with Black Lives Matter. You overtook them.
You did Stop Asian Hate. You remember.
That's two different incidents. Don't even start it exactly black guys matter was humming along they were moved that train was chugging along and then here comes stop asian hate yeah right in its tracks okay you remember and everyone forgot about it yeah yeah all right so um i will jimmy and i will when we go back to the meeting yeah when you go back we have our meeting once a month yeah you know i mean and you know steven you everyone goes yeah and and we have some of our now i like can i call them sisters now but like yeah like aquafina one of our sisters we're gonna change the lingo that's the lingo now but we just give it we'll come up with a new one but right now we're an agent word We'll give it a word.
What was the thing you said in Mandarin? Mei Mei is like little sister. And then.
Perfect. Say Mei Mei.
Kuka is older brother. You know, there's different.
Yeah, you're Mei Mei's and you're Kuka's. That sounded kind of cool.
That's Chinese. Yeah, well then be Chinese, bud.
You're going to be Chinese. Oh, you know what, dude? I'll be Chinese.
Yeah. Yeah, because i don't want to steal any more work or you can be you can be young young okay good you are young but now what you're saying jimmy is we have to memorize every fucking japanese what fucking sister means i'm not gonna do all that you're not hanging out with japanese people we already talked about this okay or vietnamese like what's the vietnamese not hanging out with them either i am no you're not for you it's it's korean chinese filipino those are the three i don't know what you're doing right now but i don't like it's working i don't like it no let's say let's go backwards obviously you can call obviously you can call him sister i'm fucking joking jesus christ what show are we on but the south asian hate thing was funny as fuck that was good that was good it's fucking funny.
Yeah. Well, let me say this.
Jimmy O. Yang is the best.
Probably one of the greatest comedian, friends, actors, performers, souls in the comedy business. We love you so very much.
You're so, so nice. I think you're one of the greatest out there.
Known you for a long time. Funny dude.
Great dude. You seem to not really miss a stride.
You're pretty good. Thanks.
You're and you guys man i i tell bobby this every time bro i fucking look up to this guy don't ever ever ever since i was young you know my dad like was about to buy a ticket to the improv on a night that i wasn't gonna be there but you were there he's like i'm gonna go watch my hero bobby lee i'm gonna meet your dad yeah well are you coming to the show at the forum yeah i am yes please when is that well you're playing the forum yeah yeah and he asked me to do a little set february 28th we gonna i i would invite i love you but i'm trying to make it like an asian thing for my brothers oh i don't yeah yeah i'm sorry for your mungs and your pickpockers are there other asians you asked to be on it who else is on it yeah do you i don't want to give away the whole lineup. I'll tell you later.
So let's promote some of the things, Jimmy. So Jimmy, so you have the TV show on Hulu.
Interior Chinatown on Hulu. The Forum you're playing? Yeah, the Forum, LA, February 28th.
February 28th. Yeah, I might be doing it.
Yeah. Bobby might be surprised, yeah.
Number three, what else? Your Instagram handle, what is it?

It's Jimmy O. Yang.

Jimmy O. Yang.

Yeah.

And please support our brother here.

He's one of the best.

I've always loved him.

He's one of the greatest.

So go see him.

If you're in LA, come see him at the Forum February 28th.

Jimmyoyang.com.

Jimmyoyang.com.

Jimmycomedy.com.

I own many websites. I own plentyoffishsauce.com.

I own celebdicksize.com.

They all just redirect to my site.

Yeah.

Awesome.

Yeah.

So Chinese of you.

Yeah.

So advantageous.

We're going to buy all the website.

It's brilliant.

Do you ever get my one last question, if I may?

Please.

Wrap it up.

Have you ever had a white girl see her penis and be surprised

how big it is

thank you for being

a bad friend Yeah. Woo.
Yeah.

Woo.

Yeah.