Bobby's Hopecore Era

Speaker 1 This episode of Bad Friends is presented and fueled by Huel, your go-to for complete nutrition. Try Huel with 15% off today using code bad friends at my.Hule.com/slash bad friends.

Speaker 1 You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 2 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 2 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends. You look like Real Madrid's towboy.
Like, what's the shirt you're wearing?

Speaker 1 It wasn't a good joke. That's why.
So good. No, it wasn't good.
No, it's really good. You just did that laugh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you do, if I'm not being funny, do that. Today,

Speaker 1 everyone do that laugh. All right.
And I will do the same. All right.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 You do one.

Speaker 1 Do your fake laugh. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yes.
Yes. That hurts the most.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The velocity and the energy behind that is so

Speaker 1 hurtful.

Speaker 1 Pete's wife cooked us some cookies. I'm not going to eat it.
Oh, that was me.

Speaker 1 You said your wife. No, no, that was me.
I baked them. Oh, I don't want this.
Oh, no, no, they're good. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. Well, in the middle, what is that? Go ahead.
It's a Hershey's Kiss.

Speaker 1 No, thank you.

Speaker 1 I don't like the smell. Do you want this? You want one? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Good catch. What are those called? What are these called? Peanut butter blossoms.

Speaker 2 You want one, sweetheart? I have nicotine in my mouth.

Speaker 1 God bless you. God bless you.
God bless, dude. I'm going to have a little taste of Pete's.
I haven't eaten 24 hours. Why? Because I took the last bit of my Ozimpic.
Wow, peep. But this is bad.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. I can tell.
They look bad. Yeah, they look bad.
And they smell bad. And I'm going to finish it because I need to poop today.
I haven't pooped, and I know this will make it happen.

Speaker 1 You know, if you're going to finish it, it's really good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, very good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll take a bite. No, eat a whole one.
I cracked a tooth.

Speaker 1 Okay, thank you.

Speaker 1 We got to caught us eating.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's the holidays? Oh, nice.

Speaker 1 Peanut butter. Yeah.
Nice. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Really good stuff, Pete. It's really good.
Are you a baker? Is that your side hobby? I cook. I bake.
Yeah. Yep.
You watch the Great British Bake Off? Oh, I sure do every season. Really?

Speaker 1 Who won this season? I didn't watch this season.

Speaker 1 By the way, the most shocking win.

Speaker 1 We can talk about it. I didn't have her on my top to win.
I I had

Speaker 1 bring up the cast, a young, good-looking kid who is beautiful. But did you see what happened to him at the beautiful episode? Yeah.
What? What do you mean?

Speaker 1 They showed like... He fed up.
No. After that, they show like what they're up to now.
Oh, yeah, yeah. He's working at a Michelin restaurant.
It's beautiful. He's fine.

Speaker 1 You know, Paul Hollywood called somebody. 100%.
Yeah, yeah. He got four handshakes.
Yeah, he was amazing. So I...
Okay, out of our show, out of you and I,

Speaker 1 you're Paul Hollywood and I'm Prue. No, dude, that's not true.
I'm Paul Hollywood? No, I'm that black lady that does the jokes.

Speaker 1 With the great British spike.

Speaker 1 You're her? No, I really, you think I'm Paul Hollywood? I guess you're right. I am Paul Hollywood.
You're Pollywood for sure.

Speaker 1 You're Pollywood. Boom.

Speaker 1 I give the shakes. Yeah, no, you are Prue because you look like her.
Bring up Prue. This is actually what Bobby looks like.
This is genuine. That's Bobby.

Speaker 1 That's you. Look up.
No, yeah, the third photo is.

Speaker 1 That's not you. That's not me.
That little eccentric woman is not you. That's all.

Speaker 1 I I guess maybe. If you were an old white woman, that would be that.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 if I was an old white woman, being a woman, I would be that, yeah. That's what the f ⁇ we're doing.
Yeah. That's what the f ⁇ this is.

Speaker 1 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Speaker 1 Okay. So anyway,

Speaker 1 so, but here's the thing about the, he didn't have a good day. Who didn't? Oh, yeah.
He didn't. No, he bet.
He didn't do. He didn't have a good day.
Bring his name up again.

Speaker 1 I forget his name, the cast. He's my favorite, though.
He's so good. Really handsome guy.
Yeah, Dylan's a good guy. This guy is a great baker.
And you know who likes him a lot?

Speaker 1 Rudy. She's nodding already, pervert.
Yeah, yeah. Zoom in on that guy.

Speaker 1 He's gorgeous. This guy.
Not a great photo. No, no.
Just give me some other photos. Again, not that photo.

Speaker 1 He honestly, he's such a good, he's such a good baker. He's so good.
And he's so humble. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's very good looking.
He's cute. He's cute.
He's cute. And he's strong.
He's a little bit more. He's also

Speaker 1 weird. That's why I like him.
He's a little eccentric. I like him like that.
Yeah. You don't want to be like when Paul that photo.

Speaker 1 Put the kid in a movie. Yeah, when Paula Hollywood does handshakes to him, he waits too long to shake it back.
Yeah, I think he's nervous. So Paul, Paul Hollywood would be like,

Speaker 1 yeah. And then this guy goes,

Speaker 1 he's so.

Speaker 1 I know, but my point is, you shake it right away. You shake it right away.
When Andrew shakes your hand, you shake it right away. Shake it right away.
You know better. Good forearms for baking.

Speaker 1 Kids got great ham. Yeah.
Look at that. And he's got good flavor.
Great flavor. His thing is flavor.
Unique flavors. Unique flavors.
All right.

Speaker 1 We're bored. We're bored.
No, we're. Okay, anyway.

Speaker 1 I don't think we are. I don't think we are.
Well, it's for you and me. It doesn't matter.
I think the people at home want to know what we've watched. Look at that.

Speaker 1 His mom is Indian and his father is Japanese-Belgian. Wow.
And they showed a video of the family, the most wholesome fucking family on earth. These people are wonderful.
Let me see the family.

Speaker 1 I never saw it. Do the family.
They showed a video of him with his family. I'll show you.
I know wholesome. But that girl is the one that won, by the way.

Speaker 1 But she had a good day, and that's all. Yeah, but she wasn't my home run.
He was my home run all season. Okay, do you know what Hope Corps is?

Speaker 1 Is it a thing online? No Hope Core.

Speaker 1 I don't like it when I'll tell you what, when, Jules, when you do,

Speaker 1 you act as if I'm not from this planet.

Speaker 1 I don't have the same kind of social media you have.

Speaker 2 It's just, I see you, and I see an old.

Speaker 1 An old what?

Speaker 2 An old man.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And Hope Core is my.

Speaker 1 well then why don't you explain it to us yeah explain to us hopecore side note do you see an old man when you see me no yeah different what do you see when you see me like early 30s i'll take it see what she's doing she couldn't even look in you in your eyes

Speaker 1 she looked me right i had to look and i'm gonna say this and i'm gonna speak on her behalf

Speaker 1 This is what she wanted to say.

Speaker 1 It's weird. You're like much younger than Bobby, but you guys look the same age.
Right. That's what her eyes said.
That's what her eyes said?

Speaker 2 No. So you guys look like very different.

Speaker 1 Thank you. So I look way older than him.

Speaker 1 I mean, you just look like an old Asian. Asian, yeah.
Asians, Asians age in a different way.

Speaker 1 Whites get uglier. You just get old.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
Look at it. Look, look, look, look, look.
Oh. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now that's a good-looking old Asian man.

Speaker 1 You could never.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Is your hair going to get white like that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's cool. And he's like thinking of lotus flowers and grasshoppers.

Speaker 1 When you get old, an Asian man will only, what do they think about?

Speaker 1 Taking long walks. Long walks.

Speaker 1 Putting their hands behind their back.

Speaker 1 It has to be attached. It has to.
Because, watch, when a Korean man unattaches it, he stops walking. They'll fall over.
They'll fall over. They'll fall over.
It's all about weight.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Right? They think about what? Long walks, grasshoppers. Grasshoppers, right? Lotus flowers.
Lotus flowers. A bamboo arrangement.
They love bamboo arrangements.

Speaker 1 Bonsai trees. Bonsai.

Speaker 1 Clipping.

Speaker 1 Have an old Asian man walk by Bonsai tree. They'll be clipping.
They'll be clipping.

Speaker 1 That's why they have clippers in their fucking pockets. All Asian men.

Speaker 1 Just in case. Right? If I walk by a bonsai tree, dude, dude, you'll see me clipping.
He'll be clipping. He'll be clipping.
I'll be clipping, dude. This is more of your stock right there.
This is me.

Speaker 1 This is me walking down. All right.
This is me walking down.

Speaker 1 You can't resist. I can't resist it, dude.

Speaker 1 If I see, dude, a lotus flower, dude. Or if I see a grasshopper, I do this, they jump right on my finger.
They have to, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that like the...
And then we philosophize.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 We always philosophize. Another thing that all Korean men think of is...
Mountains.

Speaker 1 They love sitting up in the mountains. How do you know about mountains? Yeah, I'm Korean.
How do you know about us? I'm Korean. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 And tea. They love.
Love. Love tea, dude.
It's got to be some herb you've never heard of. And you know what else they love? Oh, fuck.
Here we go.

Speaker 1 They love a good babbling brook, running water. They love just a little, like,

Speaker 1 little bubbles of water, right? A babbling brook to an Asian guy is. And the last thing they think about, I'll tell you, is, and this is a deep cut,

Speaker 1 but this is so true.

Speaker 1 $2 fucky fuckies. $2 fucking fuckies, dude.
Because, you know, for old Korean milk? Inflation isn't a thing. It's not.
And it shouldn't. We're going to pay what we pay

Speaker 1 in the 1950s.

Speaker 1 But it's inflation. I don't care.
$2.

Speaker 1 Don't care. That's all I have.
You know why? That's where the American government created the $2 bill. What? For $2 fucking fucking business.

Speaker 1 And people don't realize that. They created it right during the Vietnam War.
They did. Yeah.
And they're so hard to cash in because they're rare. They're very rare.
It's a trick almost.

Speaker 1 So the process goes,

Speaker 1 right? And they frame them. They always frame them.
They get it.

Speaker 2 You actually have a lot of them if you want some.

Speaker 1 Well, how did you get so many? Kirk Fox.

Speaker 1 He's

Speaker 1 king of $2 fucking. King of $2.

Speaker 2 I'll give them to you. You can use them.
I'm just sitting there.

Speaker 1 All right, we'll give them okay. Give them to me.
You know, there's what's his name does that? He prints his own $2 bills. What's the guy that's

Speaker 1 one of the Microsoft guys? What's one of the Microsoft guys' $2

Speaker 1 bomber? Steve Balmer? Is that just type in Microsoft $2 bill?

Speaker 1 No, no. What's the eccentric guy? Wojpo.
What are you talking about, guys? No, maybe it's the Apple guy. What's the guy?

Speaker 1 Steve Wozniak. Woge, did he print his own? Look at this.
Steve Wozniak prints his own $2 bills. Go back to Google search.

Speaker 1 There he is. Go down.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there you go. Steve Wozniak's probated.
Well, that's good. Let's move on.

Speaker 1 Anyway.

Speaker 1 Wow. Write that down, guys.
Steve Wozniak does his $2 billion.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Do something else. Hope Corp.
Let's go back to Hope Corps.

Speaker 1 Explain to people what Hope Corps is. We'll just cut that out, Andrew.

Speaker 1 Sometimes even the king misses. Anyway,

Speaker 1 I'm so happy.

Speaker 1 Tell us about Hope Corps.

Speaker 1 God, dude. Jesus Christ.
All I do on this,

Speaker 1 all I do is set us up for material and joke.

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Unreal today. I wish we had a buzzer.
Okay. But anyway, so explain to us what Hope Corporate is.

Speaker 2 What is Hope Corps? On TikTok, it's always with a soft, like peaceful audio. And then the video is like mountains or like beautiful scenery.
And there's always like quotes about like...

Speaker 1 That's not it.

Speaker 2 What is it then? And the quotes are always like, like, hopeful. And that's hopecore.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's not it. But anyway, um...

Speaker 2 What is it then?

Speaker 1 It's a lot of, it's a montage of videos that make you feel like hopeful.

Speaker 1 But they include some of that, but they mostly include like soldiers coming home or, you know, or a dog, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Or friends reuniting and stuff like that, right? So, but here's the thing.
When I watch Hopecore video, are you doing this board thing now?

Speaker 1 Are you mad about the Steve Wozniak $2 bill thing?

Speaker 1 No, there's something going on in your face.

Speaker 1 I can see you processing Steve Wozniak.

Speaker 1 How about this? Let's pause Hopecore. Let's go back to the $2 bill.
So tell us about Steve Wozniak. I'm listening.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. Tell us about it.
I'm so curious now. I don't want want to hurt your feelings.
What happened? So, Steve Wozniak. You could have pussy last night.
No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Are you in a good mood because you got a little pussy? No, no, no. So, Steve Wozniak.
He's off Ozempic. Yeah, so Steve Wozniak.
Go back on it. So, Steve Wozniak, he prints his own $2 bills, eh?

Speaker 1 Does he, really? I know you're the one that told us. I had no idea.
Okay. How did you know about this? Because you told us this five minutes ago.
I did? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've never heard of this before in my life. What you're doing is very interesting.
I've never seen you do this style of comedy. Wait, no, what? Of complete denial.

Speaker 1 I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a reversal. Go back to Steve Wozniak, please.
Why are you obsessed with Steve Wozniak?

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
So let's go back to Hope Corps. Yeah, that's so strange.
We're talking about Hope Corps. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Very odd to bring that up. Oh, what are you doing right now, dude?

Speaker 1 This is an interesting

Speaker 1 thing. You're doing right now is very weird.
And it's kind of pissing me off. Is it really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's going on? Well, I'll tell you why, because you, you

Speaker 1 put a halt to some of the things I say sometimes. Do I? Yeah, and when I do it to you, right, you have a nervous breakdown in your mind.
Do I? Yeah, you did one. Your face got all pale.

Speaker 1 And when we were talking, you were like this.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 like,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You were talking to yourself. What was I saying? Like, I thought that oh, Cornet was going to be a good idea.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 By the way, Bobby did that was like on Kong Florida. I just, you know, this is fucking weird.
Is this your internal monologue or mine?

Speaker 1 I was reading it. It sounds like it's yours.

Speaker 1 See, this thing you're doing? I love it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's get the resentment out. So, because I don't want to continue the show without

Speaker 1 good spirits. Have you ever seen him

Speaker 1 do a fucking fentanyl nod?

Speaker 1 It's the new chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like this fentanyl. It's a new chair.
I get a new chair and I'm feeling good. Okay, good.

Speaker 1 So anyway, the $2. Are you trying to rock? He wasn't rocking.
Steve Wozniak's chair.

Speaker 1 I'm trying. Steve Wozniak.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? He built a machine and it's $2 fucking bills, you know?

Speaker 1 So anyway.

Speaker 1 Dude, watching you not know how to not be able to rock in that chair is so funny.

Speaker 1 Don't get jealous because daddy be rocking. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, you think you could thrust better than me? Dude, I can thrust too, dude.

Speaker 1 Dude, okay.

Speaker 1 All right. That's enough.
So I've been watching homecore videos.

Speaker 1 Honestly, you and I have sent them to each other before. I do actually love them.
Yeah, but the thing is, is that make me cry. At the end of the day,

Speaker 1 after every video, I think to myself, I would not react like that. Like, for instance, friends that have been seen 25 years or 30 years,

Speaker 1 they cry, they hug. Dude, if you and I were separated for 15 years and then all of a sudden we reunited.
Oh, I would cry. I would absolutely cry.
100%. 15 years? That's so long.
I would cry too.

Speaker 1 No, you fucked up.

Speaker 1 No, you wouldn't. I think I would cry too.
It's fine if you wouldn't. I just definitely would.
It would depend of why I was gone for 15 years.

Speaker 1 Like, if I was in an internment camp, you know what I mean? I think that there's a lot of like emotions that would come up. Like, oh my God, I'm seeing people for the first time.

Speaker 1 I haven't eaten either. Why did you go in the first place? What did you do? Yeah, we're going to be able to do it.
I lied. I was Japanese.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Just wanted free rent for a while. Yeah, yeah.
But anyway,

Speaker 1 I think I would be like, oh, like, I would be like, if I see somebody for a friend of mine for 30 years, I'd be like, oh,

Speaker 1 that's it. Okay.
Well,

Speaker 1 I think that's it. At the end of this show, when this show is done, when we stop shooting this show.

Speaker 1 Let's not see each other for 15 years and then we'll see what it's like. Let's see if the payoff is worth it.

Speaker 1 I'm down. Okay, but here's another thing I want to say.
30 even, maybe. 30 years.
Okay, let's try. Can you get there? No, no.
He's going to die. No, he's first of all, he's not.

Speaker 1 Bobby's going to live. I already told you I spoke to my, I spoke to my I've never regretted something more in my life.
Than what?

Speaker 1 Been calling you out on the $2 with Steve Wasenaka.

Speaker 1 The Steve Wasad today. I've never regretted something more in my life.
It was very funny. No, no, no.
I can see your eyes. I've never, oh my God, fucked up, dude.
Well,

Speaker 1 I can't believe that you're so fat about it. It's insane.
Oh, my God. So, anyway,

Speaker 1 I love you so much. Here's another whole core thing.
And I don't ever want to not see you. Okay.

Speaker 1 So there's, you know, the soldier's coming home.

Speaker 1 Soldier comes home. Yeah.
Surprises his eight-year-old kid at school. He's blindfolded, right? Yeah.
Sometimes it's blindfolded. Love those.
Kids freaks out, cries. Daddy.
Jumps on top, right?

Speaker 1 But my dad,

Speaker 1 I then always think to my,

Speaker 1 I'm home,

Speaker 1 right?

Speaker 1 I'd be like, ah, you know,

Speaker 1 I would have like run. You know what I mean? Yeah, you don't want to be near that.
Yeah, so it's like, whenever I see Hope Core videos and I relate it to my own life, they wouldn't happen.

Speaker 1 Bring up a Hope Core so we can watch one and maybe it'll inspire us in a different way. The ones with the words, I think, are great.
Yeah. Right? Oh, this is.
Happy birthday. Here we go.

Speaker 1 How are you, too?

Speaker 1 Two years ago, I got stem shell

Speaker 1 transformer. From who?

Speaker 1 From a 46-year-old kid in Baltimore, Maryland.

Speaker 3 How much you think? His name was Mike Driscoll.

Speaker 1 Mike?

Speaker 1 You.

Speaker 1 You. Oh.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 Or let's play that back with us.

Speaker 1 Wow. Let's play that back with us.
Okay. That's fucking beautiful.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I got

Speaker 1 stem shell replacement from Mike Driscoll. Buddy, buddy, buddy.

Speaker 1 Buddy.

Speaker 1 You're an old Korean man

Speaker 1 in the restaurant.

Speaker 1 Why did you go to that? Because I'm just mimicking that guy. Do your own verse.

Speaker 1 You're an old Korean man. Yeah, but I'm not playing Mike Driscoll.
I'm saying I got. I'm Mike Driscoll.

Speaker 1 So I said, I got, I'm the guy. So I said, I got stem cell cells from Mike Driscoll.
Sure. So why can't I say that as the Asian Asian man?

Speaker 1 That's what I'm asking you to do. Didn't I just do that? You didn't do Asian, you did a southern guy.
I was not Asian. It wasn't Asian? You were like, I got my STEM sales.
Is that new Asian?

Speaker 1 If it's New Asian, that's fine. It's New Asian.
All right, fine.

Speaker 1 New Asian. I can't be a sale.

Speaker 2 What is your sales? I say I sale.

Speaker 2 I got a stem sale.

Speaker 1 I say, I say I'm.

Speaker 1 Well, listen up, a cowboy.

Speaker 1 Shoot them up. Bang them up.
Anyway, man, I got what? Why am I celebrating? Oh, you're Ken Patterson now. Yeah, why am I celebrating?

Speaker 1 Oh, years ago, man, some guy gave me some stell some research, and it was Mike Griscoll. What did he give you? Stem cells in my spine.
What was his name? Mike Griscoll. It's funny because I

Speaker 1 have the same name. Oh, anyway.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's.

Speaker 2 This is Bobby. Anyway, can I get the bread?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And even if I was like, I would be like, oh, you're the guy?

Speaker 1 You're the guy? I'm the guy. All right.

Speaker 1 That's it. What if he saw him and he was like, I don't like the way you look? Imagine he's like, you know, somebody saved my life.
Okay, I'm the guy. Yeah.
Yeah. You say, I'm Tony Oxko.

Speaker 1 All right, you got it. I was going to say how funny this guy was racist.
He's the black guy. He's like, it's for me.
He's like, I don't want these stem sales anymore. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he takes a knife and just starts stabbing his spine

Speaker 1 to get it out. God damn it.
How do you get the shit out? Out of my spine. Right.
And he oozes it it into a fucking

Speaker 1 right. And then he gives it back to them.
Here you go, black guy. Here you go.
You smoke me. He is stem cells.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, make me jump. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I knew I had sickle cell.

Speaker 1 So anyway,

Speaker 1 that's interesting. But see how happy.
Would you be excited? Oh, yeah, dude, if somebody saved my fucking. All right, here we go.
Let's play it out.

Speaker 1 You don't have to. Do it.

Speaker 1 You're the guy now. You're the one that's telling everyone that you had some stell sum.
Stell some.

Speaker 1 Stell some stuff. I had stelsem.

Speaker 1 And the only. You said it right.
I just said it wrong.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I had squim squells.

Speaker 1 I had stem cells put in me by a guy from Baltimore, 26-year-old. That's the only reason I'm here today.
Because of Mike Driscoll. Hey, man.
I'm Mike Driscoll.

Speaker 1 You are. Yeah, man.
From Baltimore? You're Mike Driscoll from Britain? Yeah, man. Really? Yeah.
I'm the my stem cells. It's from you.
Yeah, man.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How did you know I was here? You followed me?

Speaker 1 This feels a little invasive. Well, I follow all my stem cells.

Speaker 1 I wanted to see. You're not the only one, man, that has stem cells.
My stem cells. I have stem cells in every city in America.
You spread around your stem cells.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I follow all of them around, man. I want to know where my cells are at, dog.
Well, it's great to meet you. Yeah, thank you, man.
How are they working out for you? Good, I think. Good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, how about a thank you? How about it? Thank you.
You're welcome.

Speaker 1 You're welcome, sir. Just confused.
I'll see you next month. I'll see you soon

Speaker 1 for coming, dude. He goes all over the country.
I do like this. I like these videos.
Yeah, Hopecore. Don't you like them? I like that.
Give me another Hopecore that's going to help you.

Speaker 1 We love Hope Co. We love Hope Core.
We're into Hope Core. You're watching this at night when you get sad.
I know you are. I cry every.
No, I don't like the cancer ones. No, the cancer cancer.

Speaker 1 I don't like the cancer ones. No, no, don't.
They break my heart too much. Kids' cancer is going to make me cry.
Yeah, it makes cry. Shit it off.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Kids' cancer is going to kill me.
It breaks my heart when the dad shaves his head.

Speaker 1 Why are you laughing? What are you laughing at?

Speaker 1 You're insane, Carlos. You are insane, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You're insane.
What? They're already going on. You don't have to do it.
You're bald anyway. Yeah, so it's like, yeah.

Speaker 1 But dude, how funny would a hopecorp video be of a cancer patient and Carlos is shaving the sides of his head?

Speaker 1 That's insane. That's insane.
Just a side. And they're both just crying.
Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1 For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG.co/slash audio. There are ones I don't like, though.
What are the ones I don't like? There's some.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you what I don't like. I'll tell you what pisses me off on the internet.
Yeah. Excuse me, could you help me with a dollar? And someone helps, why'd you decide to help me today?

Speaker 1 Oh, you just needed a dollar. And I tell, well, I want to bless you because you bless me.
There's a thousand dollars cash.

Speaker 1 This guy, I don't like this game. I don't like that.
I don't fucking like

Speaker 1 we don't like it, do we? No. What bothers us about it, though? I can't explain.
I was trying to say that the other day. I was like, why does this bother me?

Speaker 1 Because I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why it bothers me.
Tell me.

Speaker 1 Because now I'm giving every homeless guy a dollar just in case I run to that guy. Right.
I'm giving everyone a dollar. Yeah, now I'm like, is it the guy? Where's the guy?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I never see the guy. I've just been hanging out at Target all week waiting for this guy.
I think that's why. Why does it bother you, Jules?

Speaker 2 I think because you're then just faking. Yeah.
Faking it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who's faking it?

Speaker 2 Like myself, because you think, like, oh, I have to do this in case someone's video, like, recording.

Speaker 1 Well, and their video tip.

Speaker 1 That's what I don't like about it. The video of it.

Speaker 1 Look how good I am.

Speaker 1 But let me say something the i see a lot of dudes don't tip and give money so maybe it's gonna force people to give money i guess i mean what what's the nicest thing you've done and nobody knows because it wasn't recorded nobody knows you never really talk about it well but if i talk about it now then people are gonna know well what's a good moment for you so one time i and this really happened i was at a 7-eleven the one right down the street this one right here okay right and there was a homeless man and he had a bunch of garbage in his you know like clothes not garbage you know what i mean but on top of his like, um,

Speaker 1 wheel, what do you call it?

Speaker 1 Like a cart, like a cart. A grocery cart? Like a cart.
Yeah. Um, he had an album.

Speaker 1 Not a record album, an album of photos. Oh.
Right.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I said, it was funny that you just didn't leave with photo album. It is weird to be like, yeah, it's an album.
I'm like, oh, shit, it was a music. It's like, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 But when I opened it, I did open it because there was nothing in it. Oh, my God.
There was no pictures in it. No photo? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I didn't open it to put put my headshot in like, oh, here you go.

Speaker 1 No, yeah, yeah, yeah. But no.
So I left 100 bucks in there. That's cool.
I opened it. I put it in there and closed and I left and I never said anything.
I love that.

Speaker 1 I've done little things like that before. I love that.
What about you?

Speaker 1 One time I got cash from a gig I was working and it was a pretty substantial amount of cash.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I gave the envelope to

Speaker 1 a person that I used to see a lot in my old neighborhood. oh that's cool yeah that he didn't wasn't like a big thank you which i was

Speaker 1 i was like that was a lot of fun

Speaker 1 like i actually was like did you because he was like oh thanks man good to see you i was like good to see you man and i kept being like

Speaker 1 yeah i know it's a fucking it was a lot of cat a lot right yeah it was a bunch of cats and i thought it was the holiday season i thought this is a it was when i used to live in west hollywood i saw this guy all the time and i thought this is going to make his fucking this is going to make his fucking holiday he probably has family he can't see or he can buy gifts now and he kind of he was just like oh thank you so much and he kept holding it and he didn't really like look at how much yeah so i waited a little bit to be like what's in there

Speaker 1 like it you know what i mean like a parent on christmas like open it up all right so when i went to um um gutter muckers that movie yeah so i did a movie in um um montana butte montana with um

Speaker 1 Eleanor Kerrigan and Leslie Jones. Love.
And the weekends, there was nothing going on and and we're there for a month, right? Yeah, so we go I said to my to Leslie go let's do shows

Speaker 1 So there's a theater in town and we call the theater and like we're in town. They're like yeah, we sold all of them out.
Of course. Okay.
There's no comedy club there.

Speaker 1 And at the end we gave the money to the crew. That's so cool.
And when you're doing that many shows, I mean, you're talking about almost eight, ten thousand dollars. You know, a lot of money.

Speaker 1 A lot of money, right? Only two crew members thanked me. Fuck off.

Speaker 1 That's it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I would even walk by like the sound guy and go, hey, what's up? As he's micing. And they're like, what are you doing here?

Speaker 1 Good show. Last couple of nights, right? He's like, yeah, it was good.
Did you like it like it? Like it like it? Yeah. I go, did you get the food truck? Because you know the food truck?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the food. Yeah, we've got ASI books.
So we get food trucks too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, thank you. Nothing.

Speaker 1 Well, you'll never work with that fucking crew again. But it made me mad.
So it's the same thing as yours. It's just that it's just you want it.

Speaker 1 I don't want anything big, but I did want him to be like, brother, thank you. This is like a big deal.
He was like something.

Speaker 1 Well, because I used to give him money all the time, so maybe he just thought it was just what, but I would give him money a lot. When I walk home from the store, I would give him money.

Speaker 1 I saw the same, it's the same guy. It's he's probably still fucking there.
He watches the show. What have you guys done? Nice.

Speaker 2 Well, when I first moved to LA, I lived by this.

Speaker 1 I'll give her more time to think. Give her time to think.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he said, do something nice. And she was made of fuck, fuck, fuck.

Speaker 1 What is it going to be? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 One time I didn't kill something.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. And the spider.
I could kill it, but I didn't. Spider said, all right.
One time you what, babe?

Speaker 2 Well, I got discouraged helping when I moved out here because I lived by this Taco Bell and I had no money, but I had just a little bit. And I gave my food to this guy who was sitting outside.

Speaker 2 And I was like trying to give it to him. And he just goes, I don't want that shit.
And then he lit up a crack pipe.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And I was like, I guess this is L.A.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's L.A. Welcome to L.A.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 By the way, that's the same guy that I gave the cash to. But let me ask you a question.
Side of the killer.

Speaker 1 What would you rather have? Taco Bell or crack or crack. Well, I don't know where to get the crack in LA.
I'm not even going to lie to you, right? I moved here. That seems pretty close.
That's

Speaker 1 Taco Bell is crack to me.

Speaker 2 You clearly have never had crack.

Speaker 1 You've never had crack. It's way better than Taco Bell.

Speaker 1 Well, by the way, when I do smoke crack, I will end up at a Taco Bell at some point. And when I smoke crack, I do the Diablo sauce on it.

Speaker 1 Can I have a Dosritos los cracos?

Speaker 2 The packets like slap yo bitch.

Speaker 1 Smack a hoe this Christmas with Taco Bell. Jules, do you have?

Speaker 2 Not like you guys. I haven't done really like a big gesture.

Speaker 1 It doesn't need to be a big gesture.

Speaker 1 The point that we're making in this Hope Core episode

Speaker 1 is that it doesn't have to be a big gesture. It can be small.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do a small thing so she can think about that. Because what we did was grand.
Giving a lot of money is grand. What's small thing? Give me a tiny one.
I know you do them all the time.

Speaker 1 I see you do them.

Speaker 1 I'll give you one. Well, I do one that drives comics crazy.
crazy. If I tell you what this is, tipping in the lot?

Speaker 1 No, it's going to drive you crazy. Do you think you'll get crazy after I tell you what I'm about to do? Well, it sounds like it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So what I do is if I see somebody that has potential of doing comedy, I try to talk them into it. I fucking hate that so fucking much.
That

Speaker 1 pisses me off. I do that.
Don't do that. I did it Friday night.

Speaker 1 Stop giving comedy.

Speaker 2 Don't point at me. I've been doing this 12 years.

Speaker 1 Yeah, not her.

Speaker 2 Who did you do that to?

Speaker 1 A friend of mine that's a YouTuber. Stop it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let people make up their own decisions. You know what it's like? You're in the program.
Starting comedy is like AA. They have to want to do it.
They have to want to go. Let them go.

Speaker 1 Don't fucking force them into AA. Don't force them into comedy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they have to ruin their life first. Kevin Christie.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Kevin Christie.
Yeah. He's a fucking.
He's a stand-up. I talked him into it.
Oh.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Oh, you mean when he was thinking about it, you told him to? A long time ago, I talked him in.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of guys like that that are still doing it today because I talked to them into it. So don't tell me about what you're telling me about.

Speaker 1 Now, Jules, go ahead.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, my fan. Guy, I swear to God, dude.
You know what?

Speaker 1 Let's push. All right, hold on.

Speaker 1 Dude. Dude, dude.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you how this happens. Wait, hold on.
Time out real fast. Let me tell you something that you do that I noticed that is something strange.
Hey, tell me, tell me. That's very nice.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Bobby will see a fan see him in public somewhere and can tell that they want to say something. This is, I'm being genuine.
I'm being honest.

Speaker 1 And if they look too nervous or whatever, he'll make eye contact with them on purpose and go over to them to like make them feel comfortable to say hi. You'll deliberately do that.

Speaker 1 You will do that a lot. And that's very nice because a lot of times people will want to say hi, but they don't have the courage or the balls or the fucking,

Speaker 1 you know, or just don't know what to say. And then you'll walk up to them and just give him a hug or you'll smack them.
You like to hit people. You'll go, what's going on, man?

Speaker 1 What are you doing, fucking? What are you doing? Yeah, I do that. Yeah, you'll crack him a little bit to shake them up.
And people like that. I think that's a nice thing to do.

Speaker 1 I think that's a sweet thing that people like. But I have to know for sure that

Speaker 1 that is how.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, that's embarrassing.

Speaker 1 Well, I think that's. Like one time I did it and they weren't looking at me.
And I just came up to a table and they're like, what do you want? No, it's me. Yeah.
And they were like, no.

Speaker 1 And I go, oh, no. And then it just went back.
It was so embarrassing. But anyway, you have to know for sure.
I just don't. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You don't. You know what? You're good.
I've seen you at the airport. You're very good about it.
No, I love saying high to fans. I'll tell you what I don't like.

Speaker 1 I don't like the way I look. like photos make me nervous because i don't like pictures

Speaker 1 because i'm like i'm gonna look like fucking a dummy in this guy's photo and i there's something about it gives me anxiety but you do do born identity what do you mean born identity what do i do the so what you do is sometimes you'll wear a cap i'm jason born and we're at the airport and you'll put your hat down like this and you walk and this is when this is you going i don't want

Speaker 1 Yeah, sometimes I just want to be sometimes I just want to be alone.

Speaker 1 There's these little clues about him. I know.
It's the Leo. I do the Leo.
Yeah, I do the Leo. So there's little clues that he does.

Speaker 1 I go, okay, he doesn't want to be talked to or he's in a thing or this and that yeah sometimes i'm just in if i'm in an emotional mood if i'm depressed i just don't want to say because then i'm in your photo like this

Speaker 1 you know yeah because i'm low in your photo i'm sorry and i don't want to fuck up your photo so it's like you know i'll yeah let's say hi and then but i do love saying hi to the fans i just some days when we're tired and we're traveling it's hard when someone's like come here get a photo and you're like okay yeah and you look like shit and you feel like shit and you haven't eaten or slept what's your nice thing

Speaker 2 well in the Philippines,

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ,

Speaker 1 no way to prove it. Yeah,

Speaker 1 right. There's no tracking record.
Also, can you do it in a first round?

Speaker 1 I liked the Hoth. When I looked up Hoth, the Tauntons, you know what I mean? I used to give them free hooves.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you, those tauntons, they love that. I know, you love it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 when I met Zun Zenu,

Speaker 1 the third sun god of the rotating orb. Yeah, yeah.
What did you do in the Philippines? What did you do?

Speaker 2 In the Philippines, my friend, who's gay,

Speaker 2 he came out of the closet to his parents, but then his parents were very Catholic and very religious. So

Speaker 2 they kick him out.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then he had nowhere to go. So I asked my mom if he could stay in our place.
And then he stayed in.

Speaker 1 That's nice. That is nice.
That's nice.

Speaker 1 By the way, when you said out of the closet immediately, it's like,

Speaker 1 my gay friend come out of the jungle.

Speaker 1 There's no closets. There's no closet.
What are you talking about? There's no closet. Yeah, there is no closet.
There is no closets in the Philippines. So what do they come out of?

Speaker 2 We have just like a table.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it comes out of it.

Speaker 1 They make the gay guys get on a table.

Speaker 1 Announce to everybody, okay, I'm gay.

Speaker 1 Raise your hand if you're mad.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You house this man who needed somewhere, and that's very nice because of a closed-minded family. Now, is his family still disown him?

Speaker 2 Yeah, they still hate him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but um

Speaker 1 that's gross. I

Speaker 1 don't think you're it's real.

Speaker 1 Oh, I like it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm gonna tell you why. I think it's a lie.
I think it's a lie. Why? Yeah, because you because I've been out there how many times? A bunch of times now.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And the gay culture, it's out. It's out, bro.

Speaker 1 Let me talk.

Speaker 1 Okay. Let me talk.

Speaker 1 It's almost like it's so socially acceptable there. Right.
It's very hard to believe that anybody would be offended by it. Mom and dad.

Speaker 1 Even that, it's like,

Speaker 1 so when we do my talent show, right? The gays come out. Oh, yeah.
Do they not? Yeah. And they compete.
Yeah. Right.
I've seen their families come out.

Speaker 1 I've never seen a dad or a mom while their son was performing who was gay went, no.

Speaker 1 We don't know. They're clapping, right? It's just, this is an open society.

Speaker 1 And it's okay Jules. All right look at me right now.
I'm not

Speaker 1 lying Jews. I'm look at that lying.
Yeah, that's everybody though. Is that your friend? Yeah, that's everybody there.
So that's just the Philippines. Just be honest with you.
I am not.

Speaker 1 No, that's stop stop stop stop

Speaker 1 Because you're being very defensive right now and you're yelling

Speaker 2 I swear you don't believe in god

Speaker 2 gay marriage is still illegal in the Philippines. So it's not that

Speaker 1 you shouldn't have clapped for that.

Speaker 1 No, no clap. I'm so sorry.
There you go. Wait, gay marriage is still illegal.
Yeah. But culturally, it's not.

Speaker 2 Culturally, yeah. A lot of people accept them.

Speaker 2 But it's just this parent's.

Speaker 1 Look at them.

Speaker 1 Is that your family photo? Yeah. Wait a minute.
Go to, honestly, go to.

Speaker 1 Do you think there's a higher percentage of gay men in the Philippines than in other countries? No, I just think that it's.

Speaker 1 What I love about the Philippines is that it's such an open culture in that way where it's like... Nobody cares.
No one cares. But it's like here.
That's like here.

Speaker 1 No one gives a shit that you're gay here. Yeah.
Unless you do drugs and they'll kill you. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, right. According to the 2013, really updated, Philippines Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality Survey, 2% of Filipino men identify as gay.

Speaker 1 Survey found 96% of young people in the Philippines identified as heterosexual. So it is still embedded in the scariness of the society.
Maybe you're right then.

Speaker 1 What's the percentage of gay men in America? It's got to be four. Yeah, four and a half.
4.7. No.
8.5 adult women identify as gay. Let me say something.

Speaker 1 What is going on here?

Speaker 1 Do you think it's this? Cultural? Because it should be, I think we're all human beings. It should be across the board.
Well, it does say, look, I read it wrong.

Speaker 1 It does say 44.7% of adult men identify as LGBTQ plus. So it could be

Speaker 1 anything. That encompasses everything.
That could say, like, I'm asexual.

Speaker 1 We're trying to just do gay, not LGBT.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. Gay men on earth.

Speaker 1 3% of men identify as gay or homosexual worldwide. Oh, that's good.
That's a pretty good number.

Speaker 1 Why is it good? Is it good or bad? It's just a number. What's good about it? I think it's a healthy amount.

Speaker 1 Like, we're drafting gays. It's a healthy amount of gays.
We got to to get our gays up. It's a perfect amount.
Listen here. If it was 12%, you'd be like, what's going on here?

Speaker 1 We got to get our gays up.

Speaker 1 72% of Gen Z adults identified as straight. 15 as bi, 5 as gay or lesbian, and 8% as something else.

Speaker 1 72% straights now. We're losing it, straights.
We're going down.

Speaker 1 The straits are getting thinned out. Nearly 30% of Gen Z adults identify as LGBTQ.
So 30% of the Gen Z population says that they are LGBTQ plus. Wow.
That's a lot of kids. And I'm supportive.

Speaker 1 So let's move on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't, I mean, fuck it. I don't have any kids.
I don't have any kids either. Hey, dude.

Speaker 1 Childless.

Speaker 1 No wonder we're still doing this podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know why we're doing this podcast?

Speaker 1 I'd like to tell you why.

Speaker 1 I'm a rocking, dude. Don't come knocking.
Do you want one of these? I'll buy you one. Yeah.
We're doing this podcast because it's the most fun. It's the most fun.

Speaker 1 And got a little announcement for the fans. We're working on it.
But your boys are going to be coming to Bingjon Toast.

Speaker 1 We're coming to the UK.

Speaker 1 We're going to do London.

Speaker 1 We're probably going to do Dublin. We're probably going to do maybe Amsterdam.
We're going to let you know coming up soon in the fall.

Speaker 1 We're going to be touring around because we want to go see our friends over the water. Some people may go, some people might not.
I think everyone would want to go. London, show up for us.

Speaker 1 No, in terms of our team. Oh.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Yeah.
No, no, no, no, buddy. This is just for us.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're saying ski?

Speaker 2 Well, last week you said I was going, but then

Speaker 2 now you're looking at me like I'm not going.

Speaker 1 What's a 50-50? I mean, we have to make this decision. We have to make a decision together.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 How come you don't go?

Speaker 2 Yeah, why don't you go? Because my visa.

Speaker 1 Oh, your visa. Yeah, your visa.

Speaker 2 I can't just go to any country. What about the 59 states we went to last year?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I had school.
Bullshit.

Speaker 1 You're done with school soon. When is school over?

Speaker 2 Next week. Wow.

Speaker 1 Forever. You're graduating.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no. I graduate next semester.
Oh, wow. That's still fast.
It seems like.

Speaker 1 But you have like a month, three months off? Yeah. What are you going to do? Go back to Phil's?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Just nothing. Just sleep.

Speaker 1 Were you scared when Trump won?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Even my boyfriend was like, oh, maybe we should just

Speaker 1 like. I can only hope Trump goes through with all this stuff.

Speaker 1 You know, we're going to kick them all out. It's like, when?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. So let's go.
Speed it up. I mean, I don't know if he's going to.
Too many Asians for me. Too many.

Speaker 2 But you're Asian, too.

Speaker 1 No, no. He's from San Diego.
Yeah, yeah. He's in.
He's done. He's locked.
I'm a Twinkie. He's on the list, dude.
You know that, right? When I say Twinkie, what does it mean? I don't know.

Speaker 1 White on the end.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what are Twinkies?

Speaker 2 I thought Twinkies are gay.

Speaker 1 You're right there. I'm a banana.
No, that's not a banana.

Speaker 1 You're a banana cream puff.

Speaker 2 Also sounds gay.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it does. All this stuff does sound gay.
Yeah, yeah. Well, you are part of the 3%.
Yeah. Anyway,

Speaker 1 I'm pretty white.

Speaker 1 Am I? No. No, you're a beautiful Korean man.
You're proud of your Korean heritage. I don't think I am because I hang out with a lot of Asians.
Yeah, that's good. That's a good thing.
A lot of Asians.

Speaker 1 You like what you like. What is this? You're showing us a map of sanctuary cities in America.
Los Angeles is not one of them?

Speaker 1 Not yet. What?

Speaker 1 What the fuck's going on? Sanctuary cities for immigrants? Yes. Wow.
Look at that. I think L.A.
is in discussions to become one officially. So, what does a sanctuary city mean? Refugees can come there

Speaker 1 and not get deported? Correct. Wow.
Yeah, but

Speaker 1 they have to be government. You have to file

Speaker 1 as a seeking asylum. You have to come to the port of entry.

Speaker 1 You come to the port of entry, you come through a border, and then you seek asylum, and then you have to register that you're an asylum-seeking refugee from whatever country, and then you get registered with the government.

Speaker 1 You can't just like fucking catch a flight, come in, and then hide out somewhere and be like, I'm a refugee. It's like that doesn't count then.
Wow.

Speaker 1 And then you're not going to get any government services if you do it without them knowing. I see.

Speaker 1 So if you need money while you're fucking here, if you're coming from somewhere that's, you know that's how you have to do it all i'm saying is the if he deports the amount of people he wants to deport dude that the country is going to be

Speaker 1 yeah well a lot of companies i don't know man no i mean i'm pretty excited about it dude get them out of here like farming communities go and disaster get them out all right you'll see get them all gone dude there's two things you'll see about me getting buff

Speaker 1 and fucking you'll see what happens with this and and by the way two things that are fucking rock and roll get rid of immigrants and get you jacked i mean mean, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you don't think I'm going to get jacked. Trump sounds like Captain America.
You don't think I'm going to get jacked? I don't. No, you're not.

Speaker 1 You're not going to get jacked. You're going to get skinnier because you keep losing weight.
You're down 14 pounds now. Yeah?

Speaker 1 Something.

Speaker 1 Do you notice the difference?

Speaker 2 You look so small right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you do look smaller. Lift, stand up.
Lift up your shoulder. You'll be real.

Speaker 2 He is standing up.

Speaker 1 I love you, Jess.

Speaker 1 That joke, dude.

Speaker 1 It looks old, but good.

Speaker 1 Look at this. No belly.
There's like no fucking belly. Right here.
Wow. See? That's nothing, dude.
That's nothing. You were so much bigger months ago.
Kelly. Carlos doesn't believe it.

Speaker 1 Past the window. I do know.
You do? From the other shoot we did last week. Yeah.
Yeah. It was the first time.

Speaker 1 You're going to have to call your fucking podcast Tiger Abs.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But when I joined the gym. Tiger Abs with Bobby Lee getting jacked.
You and Kumail just working out every day.

Speaker 1 Imagine if you become a fucking Marvel character because of this. Whoa.
That'll be so sick. If you get jacked as fuck and they give you a Marvel role.
The only Marvel role I could be is Sunfire.

Speaker 1 Perfect. That's you.
That's you with Kumail right behind him. Look at Sunfire.
X-Men. Pontiac made a car called a Sunfire for a while.

Speaker 1 That's you? That's cool. I mean, that's the only Asian one.
Oh, of course, he's going to play it. Who is that?

Speaker 1 Shang-Chi. Oh, that's a Shang-Chi guy.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Can somebody else be Sunfire, please? God, they're going to get the same.

Speaker 1 He's hot. Yeah, that's true.
He's a good-looking guy. He's very good-looking, yeah.
We stay in our lane. Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1 Are there red-headed superheroes? They're red-headed. No one is famous that's red-headed.
And if they are, they're mocked.

Speaker 1 No, but no, but did Marvel or DC ever create a superhero that had a superhero that happened to have red hair?

Speaker 1 Poison Ivy. Phoenix.
Oh, yeah. Poison Ivor, Phoenix.
Never a guy, though. Yeah, yeah.
Male red-headed superhero, right? Male, M-A-L-E, male, red-headed superhero. Let's see.
Ed-headed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, male Ed-head. Who is that?

Speaker 1 Shaft? Shaft was black.

Speaker 1 Wait, Shaft had red hair? I don't know. Go back.
Yeah, go back.

Speaker 1 Roy Harper. Can you zoom in a little bit? Like the whole thing? Yeah, yeah.
Roy Harper. Oh, yeah, there we go.
I guess. You go with the bow and arrow.
Who's Wally West?

Speaker 1 Wally West?

Speaker 1 You're super. They're ran out of superheroes.

Speaker 1 They ran out of names. Wally West.
What do we call this one? You mean?

Speaker 1 Wally West. Yeah, the King Disaster.
No, Wally West.

Speaker 1 Wally West. What's another? GeoForce is good.
GeoForce. I don't know any of these guys.
The Shield. The Shield? That's pretty good.
Light Ray.

Speaker 1 It's getting weaker.

Speaker 1 There's another

Speaker 1 mercy. That's just a guy that lives in my bill.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Hank Hall.
These are just guys I know. I know.
They're just. Hank Haywood.
Yeah, they're all. By the way, what the fuck is this? Daredevil? No, this list is fucking dumb.
You're not right.

Speaker 1 Whatever this is is not the right list.

Speaker 1 I don't even know what that's that. That list is wrong.
Get off of this website. Don't get angry about it.
Well, he's not.

Speaker 1 Why? Because you don't like the white name Wally? That's a good superhero. I've heard about his Googling lately.
Ant-Man. Oh, but they gave that to Paul fucking Rudd.
Right.

Speaker 1 Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot, Paul.
Thanks a lot, Paul. Rudd.

Speaker 2 You could be like $2 billman.

Speaker 1 I could be like the Woge

Speaker 1 handing out $2 bills at random. He's doing good or he's inconveniencing people.
Paul Rudd closed the circle for me once. What do you mean? Circle meets a square? A conversation circle.
What happened?

Speaker 1 I tell you, I tell you about that? No, I just know what you're talking about. Yeah, I was on Pineapple Express.
My bad. Okay.

Speaker 1 No problem. I was there and

Speaker 1 my agents were like,

Speaker 1 you got to learn how to like meet people.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like start conversations. You know what I mean? When you're on, that's how you create, you know what I mean? I mean? Relationships.
Relationships in the business.

Speaker 1 So I was smoking a cigarette and I was Pineapple Express. It was Seth Rogan, Apatal,

Speaker 1 Paul Rudd, a bunch of people. And they were talking in a circle.
And I was out on the curb, like kind of near them, smoking a cigarette. And then my agent's fucking thing went, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Do it. This is it.

Speaker 1 I put the cigarette down and I wander into the circle. I don't know if it was Paul or somebody closed the circle.
Paul does stuff like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so then I was on the outside of the circle, and then I went back to the curb and smoke.

Speaker 1 I hate that. Yeah, yeah.
He rutted you.

Speaker 1 You got rutted. What I find out now is that

Speaker 1 I can tell when people want to talk to me on set.

Speaker 1 Those guys want to talk. I'm just kidding.
Those guys probably love you. They just didn't know.
It's probably in my head. I probably did it wrong.
They didn't know you were there. Yeah, I didn't know.

Speaker 1 I didn't wrong. Yeah.
You didn't make enough noise. What would you do? Hey, guys,

Speaker 1 you guys play golf?

Speaker 1 Hey, you guys know about the $2 thing with

Speaker 1 Alan, whatever. He makes him.

Speaker 1 Whatever his name is. Yeah.
Steve. See you, Steve Wawawaki.

Speaker 1 You guys know about the $2 thing about Steve Wawaki, right? It's interesting.

Speaker 1 In fact, I'm going to mention it on my podcast. Monday when I have a podcast, I'm going to mention it.
But it's like, you guys throw in your two cents.

Speaker 1 Do you think you did that? Did you do something like that?

Speaker 1 Interesting. Well, I don't get cut out of circles like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Actually, I get invited in. I know you do.
Not only do I get invited in, I get a big hug. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I get a lot of travel with them.

Speaker 1 It happened last night, actually.

Speaker 1 Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry.
It happened to me Friday. Literally happened last night.
I got picked up like a little American girl doll. Blake Riffin picked you up to show you off.

Speaker 1 So here, can I tell everyone what happened? Yeah. So I was at the comedy store, and

Speaker 1 I was on a date. Six foot nine.
I was on a date. And Andrea's there.
Not my date. Andrea Ginn.
Andrea Ginn's there, and she's a comic. And I'm on a date, first date with somebody.
You met her, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. She's a very nice girl.
And Andrea goes, Oh, Blake's coming. So I go, Okay, you know, Blake Griffin, huh?

Speaker 1 Yeah. We see him come in, and then Andrea leaves to go say hi to him.
And then, you know, I turn, and this is the mistake I made.

Speaker 1 I turn to the girl, and I, the date, I go, let's go say hi to Blake, right? So we go over there. You thinking this will show be a show-off moment for you a little bit?

Speaker 1 Just a little bit of like, I know a famous guy. Love you, mom.

Speaker 1 You're right. Yeah.
Called me out. Well, it's a little moment for you.
You know, when I kissed that, don't make that face. I didn't do anything.

Speaker 1 Okay. Hang her back up.
It was.

Speaker 1 No, put her up behind you, though. She belongs behind you.
You knocked her off the wall because you slammed your chair backwards.

Speaker 1 So anyway,

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 Blake's there, and

Speaker 1 I go in to shake his hand. Big hands.
Right?

Speaker 1 And he looks at me and he grabs me. Yeah.
And he pulls me up into the sky. Yeah, like Lion King.
Like the Lion King.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And, oh, Shibenyo. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so what happens is, I go, he's going to put me down, right? Were you there?

Speaker 2 I didn't see this part.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. You were there, though.
Yeah, I was there. Yeah, yeah.
And

Speaker 1 he goes, he has a monologue. Yeah.
Hey, guy.

Speaker 1 He goes, hey, guy, I don't don't shake your hand. I hug you.
That's right. Right.
And I like lifting you, and you're my little guy, this and that, right?

Speaker 1 And I'm up there for about a minute, right? And I'm blushing, and I'm trying to get down, right? Help. Yeah, help, help, help.
Right, right. He finally puts me down and I'm blushing.
Right.

Speaker 1 And I'm thinking to myself, oh, my date didn't notice that. Right.
So then I text her yesterday. This is what I text.
I go, this is so embarrassing.

Speaker 1 She goes, I go, do you remember when Blake Griffin picked me up as if I was an American girl doll?

Speaker 1 And then this is what she says. Your legs were dangling.
So cute.

Speaker 1 So cute. Now, did you guys hook up?

Speaker 1 Did you guys hook up? Him and Blake? Yeah. Himmy and Blake did, yeah.
Yeah. He's a freckly dick.
Yeah, he does.

Speaker 1 Yeah, people don't know this. It's like mine, but darker.
Yeah. Just a little darker.
Very freckly. No, this girl, are you interested in this woman now? Is this a real thing? No, I'm just...
Come on.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Okay, dude.

Speaker 1 We don't know who it is. She doesn't know who it is.
No one knows anything. No one knows who it is.
It doesn't matter. No, you know what you just go on.
I go on a lot of first dates.

Speaker 1 Let's just say that. And not a lot of seconds.

Speaker 2 That's crazy because you love seconds.

Speaker 1 He's a fucking dad.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 1 That teacher doesn't work because I'm on Ozimpic.

Speaker 2 And you don't like seconds. I get it.

Speaker 1 But it was a good joke.

Speaker 2 It was, in theory, it's structured.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 In Australia, you had some zingers on fire. Zingers.

Speaker 1 The kid was on fire. Anyway.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so he picked me up like a little. Because you've never been picked up.
No, I won't allow that kind of stuff. But there's no one that can pick you up.
Blake could pick me up easy. Blake's huge.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he could.
He just wouldn't do it. It's just a mutual respect thing.
Why do the people pick me up? You're a teeny tiny Tim. You're a little teeny tiny Tim.

Speaker 2 It's extra funny because Brad Williams was there, too. Did he pick up Brad? No.

Speaker 1 He stepped on him on accident. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wait a minute. You're very pickupable.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know how you pick your dog up when you see your dog, you pick him up, you bend down? Yeah. Same thing.
He's small and cute and lovable. Oh my god.
And here's the deal: I want to kiss you.

Speaker 1 So I want your little face near mine. And also, I have.
So I want to hug you. I want to feel your little tushy, and then I want to give you a little kiss.

Speaker 1 This is the same topic, but this whole fucking Korean deer thing got out of hand.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about? A Korean deer? People online were like, there's a Korean deer. Oh, I got tagged.
Oh, I got tagged.

Speaker 1 This looks like Bobby. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It does look like you. It looks exactly fucking like you.
And then I posted on my story, and every I got more comments than I've ever had.

Speaker 1 Everyone go, 100% yes. You 100% look like this.

Speaker 1 That is fucking Bobby Lee.

Speaker 1 It's crazy how much.

Speaker 1 Why does that look like me, dude? The eyes are perfect. It's like the same depth of feel in the eyes that

Speaker 1 your face.

Speaker 1 The cheeks are perfect. The nose.
The nose. The ears even.

Speaker 1 It just looks like you because his eyes look like the kind of love you have in your eyes and your soul look like exactly like his. Look at how happy he is.
But do you want to fuck that?

Speaker 1 I'm going to plead the fifth, man, because I, you know. That's what I'm saying.
When you say I look like that, it doesn't seem sexy. Well, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Well, look, look, I've never fucked a deer. Like, that deer has never been laid by another deer.
That's not true. That's not true.
Yeah, that's an incel deer, dude. No, it's not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, look, he's alone. He's outside.
Okay. He's taking a walk.
He's like, mmm,

Speaker 1 he does look like he has a cleft lip or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He is cute, though. So cute.
Yeah, yeah. That's you, bro.
Okay. That's you.
But then a bunch of comments said, and I had to do research.

Speaker 1 A bunch of comments were like, dude, it's a fucking donkey, dude. You're a donkey.
Is that a donkey? It's not a donkey. It's a deer.
It's a deer. It's a hundred percent.
It's a deer.

Speaker 1 It's a female deer. Yeah, yeah.
Okay. Okay.
I don't know who the fuck.

Speaker 1 Okay. I don't know who the fuck did that.

Speaker 1 Did you do that, Carlos? No. Phenomenal.
Somebody did that. That's so good.
That's so fucking funny. That's you, dude.

Speaker 1 That's literally you. That's insane.
They put my beanie and my glasses on there. That's wild.
That's wild, dude. That's cool as shit.
More of that, guys. Send that stuff in.
We love that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Anyway. I absolutely love that.
If I was going to be an animal, what animal would I be? Well, you don't look like an animal. I don't.
Do I look like an animal? Chest nose.

Speaker 1 There's not an animal out there that you look at and you go, oh, that looks like Andrew Santino. I don't have to look at it.
There's some animals that look like you, maybe. Maybe a beaver.

Speaker 1 I look like a beaver. My teeth are big in the front.
My tooth. No, there's not an animal out there.

Speaker 1 Maybe a lion or something. Give me a red beaver.

Speaker 2 Yeah, your vibe is like a lion.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, dude. There is a guy.
I just saw it today. I love you.
There's a new viral, listen, there's a new viral tiger.

Speaker 1 Google it. And I think this is more, it's a viral tiger that's coming, that came out.
Yeah, do it in all caps. Google it in all caps.
Go images.

Speaker 1 That's him.

Speaker 1 That's you, dude.

Speaker 2 Oh, I could see that. That kind of looks

Speaker 1 good. That's when it came to me.
That's you, bro. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's me. That's me, dude.
Look at me, right?

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're doing it. That's literally how I sit up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's not the same tiger.
Go to that. That guy, though? That's Andrew, dude.
Yeah, dude. That's you, dude.
That's me.

Speaker 1 What's going on? What's his name? Ava. Moo Dang.
After Moo Dang. Yeah.
Ava golden tiger. He's going ape shit online.
Really? What's going why? People just love him because he's unique.

Speaker 1 Well, he's Highland's new sweetheart.

Speaker 1 He's a tabby cat. He's a tabby cat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's just, he's got the right proportions there.

Speaker 1 Look at him. He's so cute.
He's Thai, huh? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jules,

Speaker 1 now that you're going to be done with school, what does the future hold? Well,

Speaker 2 nothing.

Speaker 1 And we're giving these people V. What's your ultimate goal?

Speaker 2 Ultimate goal? I don't know yet. I still don't know what I want to do.
I still don't know.

Speaker 1 Animals.

Speaker 1 Something to do with animals. Why don't you do a podcast about animals?

Speaker 2 Well, I don't know if that's going to be interesting.

Speaker 1 I'll be honest with me. A future in podcasting isn't something that you would want to do.

Speaker 2 Not podcasting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's

Speaker 1 something sucks. So what? I know, but what I'm saying is that

Speaker 1 why don't you do the easier, softer way, which is podcasting? Because you'll make more money. Yeah.
You work less hours. She doesn't care about that.
And you have freedom.

Speaker 1 But you don't care about that. Not really.
That drives me crazy that you don't care about that.

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 2 I like playing games. What about like streaming?

Speaker 1 Yeah, stream. Stream.
Yeah, but still, that's not like, you know. No, what do you mean? That's just as viable.
That's just like podcasting. She could be great.

Speaker 1 Unless you're like the number one streamer.

Speaker 1 She could be the number one female streamer. Maybe.
You're not going to beat that guy. What's his name? Kai Sinat.
That guy's fucking so big. Yeah.
By the way, that's what she's aspiring to be.

Speaker 1 That's pretty viable.

Speaker 1 You know, but the one thing I will say about that streaming thing that I don't... It it gets a little

Speaker 1 girls' streaming always goes down this weird little rabbit hole of like

Speaker 1 sexualizing. Yeah, they get sexualized online.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So as long as you wear like a full coat, like a winner jacket when you're doing it, I'm okay with it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 As your uncle, uncle, as Tito Andrew, I just think the streaming thing for women, the thing I see sometimes on there is I'm like, oh, they're all being sexualized on this thing.

Speaker 1 It's not just about the thing. If I, if you turn into one, this TikToker that does that with it with the music.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to do that.

Speaker 1 Oh, my. You know that guy? Yeah.
I know. What is that? The guy that does that? The girls do.
I've never seen a guy do it. What? I don't think you know what I just did.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know what's going on. I don't think

Speaker 1 I was looking at what he pulled up. Yeah, yeah.
Pulling up the names of the stream. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So have you seen this?

Speaker 1 What the fuck is that? What the fuck are you doing? Oh, when they do like a time-lapse thing? No. Is it cringe?

Speaker 2 They're doing like an anime kind of like.

Speaker 1 No, I don't like it. Whatever it is.
Dude, look it up, man. How do you type that in?

Speaker 1 Bobby having a seizure?

Speaker 1 Usually, usually

Speaker 1 cringe

Speaker 1 cringe anime streamer? No, like cringe, any cringe Instagram or TikTok

Speaker 1 usually has original. Dude, you're on your Gen Z file.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 What are you doing, dude? TikTok, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm trying to find it through here, dude.

Speaker 1 Ooh, a little attitude on a load. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's doing a lot lately. Yeah, yeah.
Drunk guy gets an axe. What is it?

Speaker 1 Gets an axe.

Speaker 1 Forget it, dude. Forget it.
Let's move on. No, let's watch him.

Speaker 1 No, forget it. Let's move on.
Let's watch him. Let's watch him.
Let's watch this guy get tased. This is just my algorithm.
You're gonna get shot.

Speaker 3 Put the axe down.

Speaker 1 You will get shot. Tase him.
Put the axe down. Tasem.

Speaker 3 John, put the axe down right now.

Speaker 1 There it is. Good, John.

Speaker 3 Step out here right now.

Speaker 3 What are you here for? Okay, I'll tell you that one second. You took it to a different level.

Speaker 1 No, pick up the axe again and get tased, dude.

Speaker 3 Your bond's been revoked because you got a DUI. That's what I'm here for.

Speaker 1 Get him.

Speaker 3 Go near that axe. You're going to have a fucking problem, brother.
I'm telling you right now. We can de-escalate this and you can get back out of jail.
We can take this a whole new route.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you right now, you got to go near that finger. Get back.
You hit me first. Yeah, you're damn right.

Speaker 3 You're absolutely right to hit you first. And I'll hit you again, bro.
And I will hit you again.

Speaker 1 I will hit you again. I will hit you.
Back up. Back up.
That's a bail enforcement agent, by the way. That's not even a cop.
You know that, right?

Speaker 1 That's crazy.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 He jumped bail. so he has like a you know he he gets to act as like a peace officer or some bullshit he's not actually a cop

Speaker 1 that's why why you have a deal who sat on you on

Speaker 1 huh who sat on you

Speaker 1 the guy the guy who's trying to do the axe the guy who's trying to grab the axe that's you on his side yeah why because what are you doing on my fucking property get off of my fucking property okay you don't belong on my property i was thinking you would react the same way huh if the guy came out of my property get the fuck off of my property you're not allowed to my property it's private property fuck you i don't know what tase looks like so i think it's a gun It's a taser gun.

Speaker 1 A taser looks like a gun. Okay, a gun with a gun.
No. Yeah, it looks like a gun.

Speaker 1 Oh, he has a gun. No, it's yellow.
It's very obviously a taser. But then, okay.

Speaker 1 I've never been tased. Does it hurt? It hurts like fucking, it's the most painful.
It sucks. You fucking, you freeze up and then you fall down.
It's the worst. I hate it.
You've done it.

Speaker 1 You've been tased before. Yes.
An idiot in college had a fucking taser, and I fucking hated it. And it was so dumb.
And we were drunk. Oh, wow.
Can we buy one? No. Yeah, yeah.
Let's buy one.

Speaker 1 All right, buy one. Oh, yeah.
It hurt. Can you die? Because I don't want to be tased and die.
No, no. Well, look up their reactions with Ozempic.
Is there a taser Ozempic thing?

Speaker 1 Yeah, possible side effects of Ozempic. If you are hit with the taser, it may stop working.
Oh, that's fucked.

Speaker 1 You know, I read that. Find the fucking thing.
I was in the face thing, man. Find it.

Speaker 1 God. It's either that or.
What the fuck is going on around here, dude? Either that or we go back to the $2 bill stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go back. I don't want to go back to $2.

Speaker 1 Maybe the one that blew hair.

Speaker 1 Blew it, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Look, Andrew.

Speaker 1 All right, start it over. Yeah, yeah.
It's now that we see it. Start it over.
Let's see. Yeah, it's this kind of thing where they're like,

Speaker 1 oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, it's all anime stuff. Yeah, and if you did that, my heartbreak.

Speaker 1 Do try, try it. Maybe you have it.
No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, you try it. You try it.
Do it. I don't know how.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 1 You know, the internet's got that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's see it. Go.
We did it.

Speaker 1 Just do it. We'll cut it out if you don't like it.
Yeah, go.

Speaker 1 Bye. I don't know how to do it.

Speaker 1 So green. Jess, go.

Speaker 1 So green.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
You could do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So good. Don't do it.
Don't do it. Yeah, you're not.
You don't have it. Now, now my heart is free.
I know you can't do it. Can't do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. How many views is it? Like, is this popular?

Speaker 1 This is Misty Rains. A lot of people, like, they go to Misty Rains thing.
So they just watch her do that? Three fucking million people? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holy.
Let's go to this one. Yeah, here we go.

Speaker 2 Dude, I'm working too hard.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what are we doing? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. I hope they bomb us.
I hope this country's over soon. This is.
Yeah, this is insane. This is what we're doing.
This is it.

Speaker 1 by, and can I tell you something?

Speaker 1 How old is this kid? By the way, is this a child? How old is this person? Probably old. Some of them don't have OnlyFans.
I wouldn't know. Okay.
But anyway,

Speaker 1 I mean, how old is this girl? I like, well, who are we watching? It looks like we're watching a child. She is 19.
Ugh. What are we doing? I know.
I'm not watching some kid do fucking gross.

Speaker 1 Get out of here. That's weird.
And there's a dad down there.

Speaker 1 Sally, do the dishes. And she's.

Speaker 1 I'm coming. I'm coming.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're fucked. We're fucked every day.
Future's fucked. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, and then she goes to anime conventions. Right.
I've seen this anime convention thing.

Speaker 1 It's like, they don't do it once a year. They do it all year round.
There's these things. They're all over the place.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 You don't want to do that, though. No, I don't want to do that.

Speaker 1 You know how Comic-Con was like once a year? Now it's like all year. No, because every city has one now.
Well, every city has everything, though. There's many different kinds.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So Jess wanted to promote her show.

Speaker 1 Is that why you're here?

Speaker 2 Oh, I did want to promote my show.

Speaker 1 But it's not coming out until

Speaker 1 the smoothest transitions of all time. Oh, yeah, it's unbelievable you.
You're flawless.

Speaker 1 Fuck you, man. Talk to me like that.
Dude, anyway,

Speaker 2 I am going to uh New Jersey, Sunnyville, California, Fort Worth, Dallas, Portland, Seattle, and Lexington next year.

Speaker 2 So I'm just going to take this moment. If you're out there, if anybody's out there, come see me.

Speaker 1 I mean, if there's a way to do it, that's it, dude. That was perfect.
That was so organic and shit.

Speaker 1 People loved it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Not only it just helps the rhythm of her selling the show.

Speaker 1 What are you doing, man?

Speaker 1 Just criticizing you.

Speaker 1 And let me

Speaker 1 criticize you as well. And I'll say why.

Speaker 1 You shot at me about the Woach thing, so I've been shooting at you.

Speaker 1 It's funny.

Speaker 1 Don't bring a knife to a gunfight, bud. Yeah, I'm bringing a bazooka.
You couldn't hoist one up, you fucking little.

Speaker 1 So this is what happened. Fill in the blank.
You know, you and I come here,

Speaker 1 try to set the tone of the show.

Speaker 1 I brought a poker.

Speaker 1 Pretty good rant. It was a good rant.
That was good. Popcorrhor, you know, a couple of other things.
And

Speaker 1 you had the $2 thing. Right.
And it died. And I think that's what you're mad at.
And you know what? There's a healthy way of getting that resentment out. You know, the way you're doing it,

Speaker 1 you know, going back and forth like that in your new chair. I'm rocking in my chair.
Doing this, like the thinker, whatever you're doing with your hand. I've never seen you do this before.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's because my back hurts. The thinker.
You know what I mean? So

Speaker 1 I think we all know in the room, right, that that was a fail.

Speaker 1 I got an MRI done

Speaker 1 on my back. What's going on? And they were like, all of this pressure and disc slipping is from you carrying Bobby's career lately.

Speaker 1 And I said, that can't be showing up on the MRI. They go, trust me, it is.
And we all see it.

Speaker 1 And I said, who sees it? He goes, the community at large.

Speaker 1 And I said, the doctor community? He goes, buddy, social, social. It's everywhere.
Everyone can tell.

Speaker 1 So I got to get you off my back.

Speaker 1 I-N-T-E-R-E-S-T-I-N-G.

Speaker 1 Interesting.

Speaker 1 That's fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 I told you you could spell. You're good, buddy.

Speaker 1 Anyway. No, he did say my back issues are from.

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm. Interesting.

Speaker 2 Maybe you should take a trip to WeSpa.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 We had fun. We had fun.
We went, and I can't believe you've never been. I said, Andrew must come here all the time.

Speaker 1 No, I like

Speaker 1 it. I used to like Vodaspa.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you never even tried We Spy Her.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't like it.

Speaker 2 But how do you know you don't like it?

Speaker 1 Because he's stubborn.

Speaker 1 Too many.

Speaker 1 Too many Cody.

Speaker 2 Oh, so I thought.

Speaker 1 Too many.

Speaker 2 I thought.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's talk about your experience at WeSpa.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was kind of nervous going in, the whole naked thing, you know, everyone's naked. And Bobby's like, I won't see you naked.
I don't want to see you naked.

Speaker 2 That's so gross. We're not watching it.

Speaker 1 Forget it. I was going to say a joke.
Yeah, like, why be mean now? No, I don't don't want, because that's not a fair. Right.

Speaker 2 So, anyway. He said, you're saggy tits.
I don't want to see.

Speaker 1 No, I didn't say that. No, I was going to say, yeah, you did, didn't you? I was going to say something way worse, but go ahead.
Go ahead.

Speaker 2 I love you. Well, now you have to say it.

Speaker 1 No, I was kidding. I didn't have one.

Speaker 1 Say it. No.
Say it.

Speaker 1 A beautiful lady naked. No, go ahead.

Speaker 2 So anyway,

Speaker 2 as we're walking in, I say, Am I going to be the only white lady there?

Speaker 2 And he goes, No, no, no. Tons of whites go.
And it was true. It was a a good diversity mix.
You wouldn't be the only white there. And

Speaker 2 I kind of get why you said no one goes to the Wii Spa with you because I was telling my friends, and they're all like, I don't want to be, I don't want to be naked with Bobby.

Speaker 2 I think people think when you say, do you want to go to Wii Spa? They're, they're thinking you're asking, can I see you naked?

Speaker 1 Kind of. No, that's absolutely incorrect.

Speaker 2 But I think that's what they hear. It's like, it sounds like you just want to see all these male comics naked.

Speaker 1 Well, I have done it before. Yeah.
Yeah. You know, Ian Edwards.
You know what I mean? I try to get Chappelle.

Speaker 1 but what do they have in common? They're black. Exactly.

Speaker 1 But I don't get your point, but you like it. You like to see it.
He wants to go with you. Oh, yeah.
I like to see it.

Speaker 2 But when you go male-female,

Speaker 2 you're in different rooms. But then the co-ed, you're in a you don't.

Speaker 1 You've been there with me. Fun?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 It's really fun, but it's relaxing.

Speaker 2 So relaxing.

Speaker 1 That's why I don't want to go with him.

Speaker 2 Yeah, go at a different time, but you should go.

Speaker 1 Please go with me. No.
How unrelaxing would that be for me?

Speaker 2 You guys would get, he got recognized a lot upstairs.

Speaker 1 It'd be so not relaxing. Okay.
I have my little getaways.

Speaker 1 I go to my gym. I go in the cold plunge.
I go in the sauna. I go in the steam room.
You know who talks to me there? Fucking nobody.

Speaker 1 Fucking no one. I get in the cold plunge with my little tiny red penis

Speaker 1 and it's freezing cold and my little penis goes like this.

Speaker 2 It does the cringe face.

Speaker 1 Okay. Dude, have you been in a cold plunge, by the way? I love cold plunge.
Yeah, they have one always? Yeah. Do you do them? Oh, my.
I go in there for 10 minutes. That's literally impossible.

Speaker 1 No, you don't.

Speaker 1 I do. Maybe it's not as cold as it's going through, but because the cold plunge is, you couldn't go in for 10 minutes.
You would be, it'd be, it might be different. But I'm, let me say something.

Speaker 1 When I, most of the people, they go in for like a minute. I try to go up for 10 minutes because I go to the point where I'm about to die.
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.
Good. Well, that's good.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's very good. And I, and I, and I'm going to tell you why,

Speaker 1 if I may.

Speaker 1 Okay. You may.
Well, I'm going to. Thank you.
Okay. I go to Hyundai Day Spa.

Speaker 1 I've been going there for years. And there's like a 95-year-old man that's there.
Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 And he does a routine, and I observe him. Okay.
Yeah. Over the years, last 20 years.

Speaker 1 Asian man. Old Asian man.
Yeah. And he does

Speaker 1 halfway in the cold plunge. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Then there's two different spots. There's a jacuzzi, but there's also a spring water one where it's super hot.
Love that. So he'll go five minutes there and he goes back and forth.

Speaker 1 And I think what he's doing is circulating his blood. Just trying to stay alive.
Yeah, yeah. And so I've been following the same thing as he does.
Good. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And I think there's something to do with your health. I don't know what it does.
But they say three to five minutes is kind of the optimal time to get the benefits that you need.

Speaker 1 After that, you're kind of not, you know, because it's, because it's down to 45 degrees. I mean, they tell you anything between...

Speaker 1 40 and 60 is the high end for cold plunge, but five to 10 minutes. You don't want to go any more than that.
There's no need for it. Post-workout is two to three minutes.

Speaker 1 But what are the benefits of it? Well, there's a metabolic boost you get. That's 11 minutes in total time over two to four sessions per week has metabolic recovery benefits, right?

Speaker 1 It's good for your muscle tissues. It's great for me for my nerves because my nerves, because of my sciatic nerve,

Speaker 1 it's really good. It calms the nerve down.

Speaker 1 Ice is the best. Ice is the fucking best.
Can we go to Wespa and so I can show you how long I go into the cold plunge? I don't think you would believe me, so I want to do it.

Speaker 1 I believe you wholeheartedly. i think you could do you doubt me knowing you you could stay in there for 20 minutes i bet okay well then

Speaker 1 because you're a strong boy come with me please you're a strong boy plus your body's compact you're not stretched out so everything is close okay anyway no i'm saying like your engine thank you for being a bad friend your engine is warming here thank you for being a bad friend doesn't have to go that far yeah you know what i mean that's true i'm my limbs are long yeah anyway jess will you go back again with me one day yeah i'd go back i was in the steam room and as i walked in i was in there for a minute and then this lady walked in and then there was like probably five to six ladies in there.

Speaker 2 And then out of nowhere, it's quiet. And out of nowhere, this lady goes, Do you want to find your uterus?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, right, right.

Speaker 2 And like right before she said it, I was about to get up and leave. But then I was like, if I get up now, it's going to feel like a response to her saying

Speaker 1 because she told me about the room. Well, did you, did you lose it?

Speaker 2 Well, I don't know if it was to me or to, it felt like it was to the room.

Speaker 1 Where is your, what does she mean by that?

Speaker 2 And then another lady goes, yeah.

Speaker 2 And then she just starts talking about like feeling on your abdomen where the uterus is. Oh, and then I had to like just kind of wait there for a while before I could leave respectfully.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine if a guy said that to you in a spa at all? Yeah. Like he's like, do you want to find your G-spot? Yeah, it was so awkward.
Well, let's play that out. Yeah, I'm in the tub with you.

Speaker 1 Do you, uh, what's up?

Speaker 1 Sorry, I just, yeah, I just, I usually don't.

Speaker 1 Well, for a living, I just, I kind of

Speaker 1 like a life coach. Yeah, I mean, health coach.
Okay, what's up? Do you, have you ever found your G-spot as a man? I'm done. Thanks, man.
Oh, you already found it? Excuse me? Can I help you find it?

Speaker 1 Can I help you find your G spot?

Speaker 1 I'll do it for free.

Speaker 1 When you see G-spot? Usually I charge. I'll do it for free.
When you see G-spot, what do you mean? Like in the penis cavity or like my anal cavity?

Speaker 1 It's in your butt. It's in your butt.

Speaker 1 I have two. I help men find it in their butt.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I found it. You already got it.

Speaker 1 I just found it just now.

Speaker 1 Can I try to find another one for you? Oh, so you're sitting there, too. Yeah.
Well, if you say so, go ahead. Give me a minute.
I put this, so this wand. You see this wand that I have?

Speaker 1 It looks exactly like your penis.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know, I've watched Harry Potter.
I've never seen it shaped like this.

Speaker 1 Well, if you turn around and I say this magic phrase and I put my wand in there, it'll detect where you're spotting. Oh, you know what? I'll give it a go.
Why not?

Speaker 1 Is it in? Expellius. Is it in? Jizius.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Is it in? Did you find it? How rude.
I found it. Yeah, yeah.
Did you? I can't feel it.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
Well, yeah.

Speaker 1 Have a good day. Have a safe drive.
Yeah. Did you know about the $2?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Tell me.
Tell me about it. Got an LA Washa Wash.
Dude, I actually

Speaker 1 I walked into the steam room the other day. I did have a guy.
I walked in naked.

Speaker 1 Traditionally, you put on a towel in the steam room because you sit down. But I walked in naked because no one was there.
It was after hours. Yeah.
And I walked in because I was a little bit in pain.

Speaker 1 And so I walked in my cock out and I was like, oh,

Speaker 1 I was like grunting through the pain because my pain was strong. And then I hear a guy go, you okay, man?

Speaker 1 And I can't see him in all the steam and the fog. I go, oh, fuck, dude.
I didn't know someone's in here. I'm so sorry, dude.
And he's like, it's okay. I just, you want me to get out of here?

Speaker 1 I was like, no,

Speaker 1 you don't have to go. No, you do make noises in the steam room that you can't.
It feels good. Yeah.
This is a noise. That Koreans make.
I don't care where you're from in Korea.

Speaker 1 Can you guys understand each other? We know what this means. And there's no, it doesn't mean anything, but we know what it means.
Yeah. It's this.
It's unspoken. Here we go.

Speaker 1 Aigu, I go, I go, I go.

Speaker 1 It's Aigu, Aigu, Aigu, Aigu, about four or five times.

Speaker 1 We understand what that means.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And everyone.
And we go, I go, Aigu, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 What does that mean? Like it lamenting in pain?

Speaker 1 No, it's like, it feels good, but it hurts. But, you know, I'm glad.
You know what I mean? Right. It's soothing, you know? And there's another one that we know what it it means: juk juke.

Speaker 1 I told you about that. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We don't have to read. You know what about juke juke? Yeah.
Yeah, what is it?

Speaker 1 What? I don't remember, but I remember the phrase juk juke. See what see what he does, McCone? Yeah, he's worthless.

Speaker 1 He just agrees without listening. At this time, at this point, he just comes around.
When you do improv, you know, agreeing is fine, but you have to listen as well. No, he doesn't.

Speaker 1 That's why he won't do stand-up. I told you.
He's not. Yeah, you're not.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Give us a joke. Let me hear you do a bit.

Speaker 1 Do you you say, oh God,

Speaker 1 did you say, oh, God, you don't want to be on the show anymore. You don't have to be on the show.
Your attitude? Your attitude is fucking bananas. By the way, Pete has been pleasant all day.

Speaker 1 Hasn't said shit. He brought us cookies.

Speaker 2 Wait, can we do it together?

Speaker 2 Okay. Because we haven't been on the show together, and I don't think I'll be honest with you.

Speaker 1 You've never been on a show together before?

Speaker 2 We have not for months. I haven't seen her in a long time.
Yeah, and I'm going on the road next year, so I don't know when I'll be back.

Speaker 2 Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 Thank you for being a bad friend.