Happy New Year 2025

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Speaker 1 Happy New Year! We know how much you guys love Fancy Bee. We love them too.
And so we put together a little Fancy Bee compilation, if you will. I mean, I did it myself.

Speaker 1 I'm the one that edited this whole thing. And that's because I wanted to show Fancy how much I really appreciated him and loved him for the new year.
So enjoy, bad friends.

Speaker 1 What's your deal? Why are you so uppity and throwing darts at people? I don't know. I just feel good.
You feel good.

Speaker 1 There's our server. Hi.

Speaker 1 Hey. Hi.
Hello. Oh, so you.
Oh, you do host. It's a one-man

Speaker 1 shop. Do you cook as well? I do.
Oh. Oh, okay.
Are you Argentinian? I am. Wow.
Okay, wow. So do you have any specials? Chimichuri steak.
Chimchuri steak. That's all you've got? That's it.

Speaker 1 Can we get a menu? Chimichuri steak. That's all they serve.
That's all they serve. Okay.
Chimichuri steak. Well, do you guys want to put in a drink order or something like that?

Speaker 1 Do you want something to drink, Dominguez? I want

Speaker 1 a lemonade. A lemonade chimney.

Speaker 1 First of all, because you only have chimichuri steak here, so what other drinks options? It doesn't seem like you would have lemonade.

Speaker 1 We have wine. Wine.
And water. And water.
Okay, with lemon. We can put it in lemon.
You can put lemon in the water? Yep. Or the wine.
Would you like water?

Speaker 1 Lemon water? Yes. Will that suffice?

Speaker 1 I don't drink, so I'll have just, I guess, a water.

Speaker 1 Okay. I don't really want wine.
I'll just have some water as well. Are you sure there's nothing, there's like nothing else back there?

Speaker 1 We have energy drinks. Oh,

Speaker 1 I'll have an energy drink.

Speaker 1 What brand? We have Red Bulls. Perfect.
Perfect. I'll have a

Speaker 1 sugar-free Red Bull? No. Only with sugar.
Okay. I'll have a regular Red Bull.
Fine.

Speaker 1 We'll take those. Yeah.
Thank you so much. What a weird rust frog.
I mean, honestly, just chimtry steak. Wine? Yeah.
Chimitree steak. Red Bull.

Speaker 1 Red Bull. And water.
And water. That's it.
That's it. I like this.
I don't know how they say business.

Speaker 1 So, Dominguez, oh, yeah, sir. And we'll just take three steaks, obviously, because we fucking can't choose anything.

Speaker 1 Can we

Speaker 1 medium?

Speaker 1 Okay, do we have a top for sure? Oh, we can. Yeah, yeah, can we do medium? No.
Yes, medium. That's the only thing you do.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'd like medium rare if that's possible. No, that's what they only have medium.
You can just undercook it a little bit. They only have medium.
The chef doesn't like suggestions, so. Yeah, yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So I guess we'll have three medium chips. Chimps.

Speaker 1 I'll have a red bowl. You want a red bowl? Three red bowls.
Water, lemon water. Water's all around.
Yeah. But no lemon for mine.
No lemon for his, please. And no ice in mine, please, if you could.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 uh, do you get all that?

Speaker 1 Let me write it down. Why don't you just

Speaker 1 memorize that? Can you repeat it back to us so we make sure you have the order right? Memorize that.

Speaker 1 I think you guys wanted to stake, right?

Speaker 1 Yes, I was with a woman.

Speaker 1 We have to go on.

Speaker 1 We're making out

Speaker 1 First base.

Speaker 1 Then she stopped. Boo.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, no, I've got to. Her body, her choice.
All right, yeah, yeah. Her choice, baby.
Her body, her choice.

Speaker 1 Her body, her choice. Her body, her choice, right? Her body, her choice.
And then she looked and she goes, I just, I'm not attracted to you. Yep.

Speaker 1 And she goes, you're fat. You're fat.
No. Yeah.
No, that's boo. She called me and I go, oh.
She didn't realize until that moment.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Damn, Lyle. For Lyle? Oh, Lyle.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That was.
Yeah. Dude, Menendez killers are hard, dude.
Dude, on Saturday morning, I woke up.

Speaker 1 So I went to the La Valencia Hotel, spent the night there. Went to the store and then spent the night there to give Dan a

Speaker 1 40-year cake. I saw the photo at his men's meeting.
40-year sober anniversary cake. Oh, shout out Dan.

Speaker 1 It was great because... It looked like a supermarket cake.

Speaker 1 Didn't miss that. I'll tell you that.
You're really going to fucking piss me off today. I'm not in the mood to fucking play right now, dude.

Speaker 1 I mean, what is one? Number one, do you know how AU meetings work? No. Okay.

Speaker 1 So every week, and Carlos can back me up, right? You look like a supermarket cake.

Speaker 1 Dude, you're a fucking piece of shit. Fucking piece of shit.
So this is how it works. Was it?

Speaker 1 Was it? It was. This is how it works.
Where was it? Was it Ralph's? I don't know. I didn't even look at the cake.
It was Von's? Yeah, this is how it works. John.
Every year,

Speaker 1 they do like a, you know, they do a group census, consensus, not group, a group meeting where they nominate people that do like chairs.

Speaker 1 It's always a newcomer, and they go, who wants the cake commitment? Some newcomer raises, says, I'll do it.

Speaker 1 So every week, his job is to go to anywhere and buy a cake and bring it to the meeting, right?

Speaker 1 I don't know where the fuck it's from, but that's not the point of the birthday. I see.
40 years of sobriety is a huge deal, man. That's what I thought.
It would be a better case.

Speaker 1 What's wrong? Dude, honestly. Dude, wow.
I love it. I think he was spraying shot.
I think he couldn't hold it. Why don't you go in your pants if you couldn't? No, I'd go right in the aisle like that.

Speaker 1 Really? You would? Well, yeah, the way these prices of these flights now are so absurd. The least you can do is let me shit on the floor.
What? Someone what? Andrew.

Speaker 1 Just stop for a second. Stop.
We really should come. No, no, no, no, no.
Here's the deal. Yeah, you're right.
He was attempting to do a joke from a dumb and dumber reference. Oh.
It didn't land well.

Speaker 1 I didn't like it. It didn't make any sense.
Did you just do dumb and dumber on SOS VHS or something? With me.

Speaker 1 And so I think that there needs to be a boycott. I agree.
So the boycott is this. That was your last straw friend.
That's it. You and I will never do his stupid show again.
Correct. Well,

Speaker 1 we already did it once, unfortunately. We gave him the favor.
Never again. Give that mic to Carlos' side.
I want that facing Carlos from now on. Carlos? Yeah.
Yeah, face you. There we go.

Speaker 1 I can't have this guy just yab-yabbing into the mic about nothing. Because Andrew was going to do gold.
Yeah. I could feel it.
I had something building up. As his sidekick.

Speaker 1 As his sidekick.

Speaker 1 I was feeling gold coming on, and then you, my friend, you fucking put a fucking damn in the middle of it. Well, let's give you another chance to do this bad joke.
What is it? Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so you say what you were going to say. No, no, no.
I want to hear him do it. No, you, but he had to interrupt you.
The timing is impeccable. Don't worry.
He'll interrupt me like he always does.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, it was a Delta flight. Someone was dumber.
Someone did a dumb and dumber

Speaker 1 thing there.

Speaker 1 Now, I know you're editing this, but I want you to slowly punch in on yourself. Slowly zoom in on how dumb you look right now.

Speaker 1 Thank you, dude. You're so white.
You're the fucking whitest friend I have. You're so fucking white.

Speaker 1 But I never go in there. It's a twinkie.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, dude. That's a layer joke.
That's so good. Holy fuck.

Speaker 1 Give him credit, dude. What the fuck did you call me, dude? You are the Twinkie of this show.
Holy shit. That's so good.

Speaker 1 And explain Twinkie for the viewers that doesn't know. And I'm Arisa's peanut butter cop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So tell me what you are. Yeah, you are.
I really am. So tell me what a Twinkie is, my friend.
Yeah, what do you mean by the audience? What do you mean by Twinkie? I'm trying to try that, buddy.

Speaker 1 It's like yellow on the outside, but white on the inside.

Speaker 1 Interesting. Interesting.
Interesting. Because I grew up during the suburbs.

Speaker 1 Wow, dude. Twinkie is pretty good.

Speaker 1 There's no legacy.

Speaker 1 There's no legacy. Yes, there is.
There is no legacy. Let me say something.
Who was one of the best comics that died in the last 10 years? Patrice, right? Yeah. None of the kids know him.

Speaker 1 That's not true. That's not true.
They know.

Speaker 1 I think you're okay. You're naming someone who's well.

Speaker 1 If you have no hours out, maybe there's no legacy. Uh-oh, that's a shot.
Oh, no. No.

Speaker 1 Why didn't you look at me when you said it?

Speaker 1 Did I tell you that? I noticed that too.

Speaker 1 You took the shot. Look at me.
Look at me and say it. Yeah, take the shot if you're going to take the shot too.
Take the shot. You're going to shoot a guy in the back? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's what you. No, you shoot him.
Go ahead. No, what he did, dude? He sucker punched you.
Yeah, yeah, that was. He walked up to you.
He looked at you. Boom, and punched you without even saying.

Speaker 1 Just say it, you fucking coward. Go ahead.
No, I was just saying the legacy thing.

Speaker 1 You know that you have the good.

Speaker 1 Outside of Rogan's Club, though, I don't know if you saw this. There were black Israelites.
Do you know what this is? Scoop? Creek? Do you know what a black Israelite is?

Speaker 1 It's like an African Jew to me.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 There was dozens of black Israelites yelling in the streets. They were the original Jews, and they were screaming at people.
And they were wearing purple shirts, just like those shirts right there.

Speaker 1 And they were screaming at people.

Speaker 1 That's exactly what they were wearing that's it that's what beyonce backup dancers wore at coachella is this at coachella i think so wow there's the trumpets they're not holding or wakanda so so these individual

Speaker 1 did you just hear what he just said that was so fucking funny like holy

Speaker 1 wakanda wow this is the sniper yeah yeah

Speaker 1 tom delong is being inducted into the powwe high school hall of fame tom delong of blink 182

Speaker 1 by the way the thing that i was upset about was there was another woman that was inducted who

Speaker 1 I don't think is famous. None of them are.
Well, Tom DeLong.

Speaker 1 He's the first guy that's famous that is actually in the Hall of Fame. Well, maybe you need to do something like that.
Important work. Something for the community.

Speaker 1 Oh, you think I'm not doing an important work?

Speaker 1 For them. If I was, honestly, if I was going to do a real old hot dog restaurant, right?

Speaker 1 I'd have to figure out, I want, number one, I want it to be quality. Oh, yeah.
Like, where do we get the dogs? What do you mean? They're 100%.

Speaker 1 We got 100% from China.

Speaker 1 You know, you're lucky that was funny. That was so funny.
That's that's that is not okay. Yeah, that pause, though, was me laughing.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 right. Because I was hoping, but then I'm also offended.

Speaker 1 Guy, guy, dude. Every once in a while, dude.
Very funny. Dude.
Uh-oh, hot dog. Yeah, from China.

Speaker 1 I mean, dude, the timing.

Speaker 1 Let me see here you say uh-oh, hot dog in Spanish, Spanish style. Go ahead.
Uh-oh, perito galiente.

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Speaker 1 Hydro. I caught it.
You? They gave me one. I got one at the house.
I love it so very much. It's incredible.
And I'm rowing in the morning and it wakes me up and gets me juiced. Well, what is it?

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The old ways are gone.

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You've convinced me I'm getting a hydro today. We should get you one.

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Speaker 1 Well, here's the deal:

Speaker 1 part of the growth of a child that we've seen is that the support from the parents makes them believe that they can do something.

Speaker 1 So he's tricking his kid into thinking he has the ability to do something. I'm raising him as a genius.

Speaker 1 Honestly, it might work to a degree until they take a test. But yeah, but the ones they realize they're not,

Speaker 1 they go into

Speaker 1 great depression. They go into comedy.

Speaker 1 What? What did you just say?

Speaker 1 What did you just say, filmmaker?

Speaker 1 He called you the F.

Speaker 1 Did you say Filmmaker? You think you're so great?

Speaker 1 You piece of shit. Piece of shit.

Speaker 1 I'm not doing the short. We work with scumbags.
All right, so what do you want to say about Joe Coi? What I want to say is that I thought he did a good job at the Golden Globe. I'll tell you why.

Speaker 1 Joseph. Joseph.
Joseph.

Speaker 1 You guys know Joe Coi, don't you? He had 10 days to do this thing, right?

Speaker 1 It was a risk. He did the best he could.
I thought that they didn't do him any favors in editing.

Speaker 1 Life.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 No, but what I'm saying is editing, like cutting into the audience and seeing some reactions that's what I meant. Oh, right, right, right.
I understand. That's what I meant.
Okay. All right.

Speaker 1 They didn't do any favors for him.

Speaker 1 Cut into the person he's mentioning.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. Finish with what you're saying.

Speaker 1 I don't want to go. No, finish your thing.
I don't want to continue. Please.
I want to hear you feel.

Speaker 1 You're really on my last nerve, dude.

Speaker 1 Hand it to her nice, dude. That's a celebrity, dude.
Jesus.

Speaker 1 she

Speaker 1 yeah she is oh whoa dude you don't have to wear these you don't have to no but it helps don't do that here your own don't do that don't do that you don't want to do the hair it's fine don't do that here then throw it down or just put it wherever just hold it you know andreas when i die and i look down because i will be looking down at my my services and my funeral and stuff up

Speaker 1 i think he means because you're in the casket i know i think he means i'm in

Speaker 1 the casket no no that's what i think

Speaker 1 But coming to America, being a fat Asian guy, and getting white chicks and Mexican, all this harder.

Speaker 1 It's challenging.

Speaker 1 And I feel like I have the highest body count I think. It's easier when you pay, though.

Speaker 1 Wait, are you talking about your body?

Speaker 1 You know what? I'm trying to come here with positivity, dude. Right? And your little jokes, dude? Right? I'm going to let them slide today.

Speaker 1 So, on like Fresh Prince of Bel Air and sitcoms, like when the audience is laughing, there's an actual audience there. There is.
And then

Speaker 1 what they call sweeten it. So they

Speaker 1 sweeten it. They sweeten it.
They put more laughs on top of the laugh. But also, the audience gets it, right? So they kind of pretend, they get, they play along almost.
Like, that's always

Speaker 1 pretty positive. What? It's like this show.
We laugh all the time. We're going to turn off your mic any second now.

Speaker 1 Keep that bullshit. Yeah, it's bullshit then.
What you're doing. For me, gambling is I'll do it for fun.
Yeah. But I don't think about I'm going to win money.
Yeah. That's gay.

Speaker 1 They're full-time gambling. Andreas, no, for you, right? Yeah, I always have inside information.
Actually, do you guys want to know how much

Speaker 1 groundworks that people don't know about that you, Andrew, and I can buy in on? This is going to be a new segment called Andres is on the ground. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Andreas on the ground. Finance advice.
Finance advice.

Speaker 1 Already, I'm convinced. That's a finance advice.

Speaker 1 I'm not convinced.

Speaker 1 I just saw a matador in my head pull of finance advice.

Speaker 1 Andreas, a finance advice.

Speaker 1 Do you need advice? Say,

Speaker 1 let me hear you say that.

Speaker 1 Have you heard of Richard Valley? God, you are tonight. You never heard that song before.

Speaker 1 It's not like that. It's para bailar la bamba.
Don't fucking correct us. If you correct the host again,

Speaker 1 I can't continue. You stepped on

Speaker 1 five times.

Speaker 1 You're talking shit when Bobby walked in.

Speaker 1 I thought they were just going,

Speaker 1 I guess they're saying that. Well, look, they're saying something, but who gives a shit? Yeah, yeah.
So, paraba la la bamba. And how awful does that sound? Parabaelar la bamba.
Necesitita

Speaker 1 Say it the way that you know it. What? Say it the way you know it.
I was just doing it. No, the way you know it.

Speaker 1 Better.

Speaker 1 Better.

Speaker 1 Better song. Yeah.
It's more familiar. Creating a banga.
Right. Right? Let me ask you something.
When you guys went to Africa and stole all those black people,

Speaker 1 and you're putting them on the ship.

Speaker 1 No, it was you guys, you guys invented that.

Speaker 1 Am I not right?

Speaker 1 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, why did you push them in the middle of the ocean

Speaker 1 if they were a little sick or what? What was that for? What was that all about? Testing. You're testing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can they swim?

Speaker 1 Oh, so you thought you heard a stereotype? Exactly. Right.
And you were like, maybe it's wrong. Well,

Speaker 1 was there a control to your experiment? You had to have a control. Yeah.
Can Spaniards swim? Most of them. Yeah.
For the record, I never had

Speaker 1 anything other than a clear coach or a buff. But you can't buy your kid a guitar and be shocked when he becomes a rock star.
You know, you showing him the ropes. True.
The kid's got to run.

Speaker 1 He's got to fly through. Right.
It gave me like a. You gave your son a ukulele and he learned how to play the electric guitar, and now that's what he's doing.
That's what he's doing.

Speaker 1 I thought it was tape at first. Almost like Michael Jackson.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's not that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's not that.

Speaker 1 It's chill. Okay.
I don't know what the fuck that is, right? But anyway, dude. You know, I've never had one.
Yeah, men don't do that.

Speaker 1 Okay. I also want to, let's just throw this out.
You want to get fucking beat up after the show? The Kardashians.

Speaker 1 They only date black guys. Except for the one.

Speaker 1 Which one? I don't know the name. There's one girl that doesn't dip black guys.
She's married to the guy, the white guy on the show. Courtney? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, Travis Barker. I mean, he painted himself enough.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 So now I look out inside the house, right? And I see three men

Speaker 1 side by side like this in a power circle. There's no room to get.
There's no room to get in. A triangle.
A triangle. Right? Of sadness.
A triangle of sadness. Thank you so much.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, even Koreans have a guy that has slang, that's the slang guy. So the Spanish people have that guy.
Do you have that, fans? Yeah. They're called Mexicans.

Speaker 1 That's so good. Wait, wait.

Speaker 1 Wait, that joke is so good.

Speaker 1 That joke is so good. It made me not laugh.
That is so good. It made me so jealous.
It was that joke. It was so good.
That joke. I paused and I let it absorb.

Speaker 1 For people that don't know, Neil Strauss wrote this book called The Game, and it was basically a way

Speaker 1 of negging. It's the secret to negging, truly.
It's like pretending you don't care, kind of insulting girls. It's negging them.
So one of the things in it is, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 If you see a group of girls at a bar, and the one you like, right, don't pay attention to her, right? Be nice to the other three, right? And then kind of rip her apart a little bit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That hairstyle is 80s, huh? And then go back to the girls, right? Supposedly, that's going to get their juices flowing. It doesn't work.

Speaker 1 They spit in your face. Well, the key.
I had a girl spit in my face. The keys to be good looking.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They missed it.

Speaker 1 There it is.

Speaker 1 Fuck him up. No, no, don't leave.

Speaker 1 Fuck him up. Just beat his ass.
I wasn't saying that. How many fucking slams are you going to do this fucking episode, dude?

Speaker 1 How many slams? This wasn't about you.

Speaker 1 It wasn't about you. Went on a date with with a girl from Los Felos, and at the end of the date, I turned, I go into Kiss, and she went, the Cobra.
And I, yeah,

Speaker 1 you got Cobra.

Speaker 1 I got Cobra too. You got Cobra.

Speaker 1 Whoa, dude.

Speaker 1 We started drinking, and we're like, we'll have a beer, and then we'll leave. Then we talked to a bunch of these women.
We got really fucked up. We started dancing.

Speaker 1 This woman's like, you guys got to come back to my house. I'm divorced and I have a whole house to myself.
We can all party. And this woman was

Speaker 1 very,

Speaker 1 very

Speaker 1 sweet.

Speaker 1 Sweet. What is that? What does this mean?

Speaker 1 Bad breath? She was bad looking.

Speaker 1 What was the wrestler that had that as a thing? With a Triple H? Yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Okay. She was not a.

Speaker 1 She was not a head.

Speaker 1 I think it was John Cena. She was very nice.
We call them in Spanish, we call them shrimps.

Speaker 1 What? What? Shrimps. That makes no sense.
Why? Yeah, because you can take the head off, and then it's bueno.

Speaker 1 Yeah, butterface. Butterface.
We call them butterface. She was a shrimp.

Speaker 1 What part of Spain is fancy from?

Speaker 1 Southern.

Speaker 1 That's not true. Okay, shocking.

Speaker 1 Got it wrong, baby.

Speaker 1 You lost. Felice Navidad.

Speaker 1 Felice Navidad.

Speaker 1 Felice Navidad.

Speaker 1 I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas.

Speaker 1 I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas.

Speaker 1 I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart.

Speaker 1 You a Merry Christmas.

Speaker 1 Do it again.

Speaker 1 Just do it again.

Speaker 1 Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up. Miss you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart.

Speaker 1 Please stop me down. Go!

Speaker 1 Police die, let's go. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Police dabina.