Paper Airplanes Come & Steal Your Girl

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Speaker 1 You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots.

Speaker 1 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends.

Speaker 1 Come here. What? Somebody?

Speaker 1 Look at this. I can't see what that is that.
Just come. Please look at it.
What is that? Oh, no. Is that dip? Is that like a.

Speaker 1 What is this area right here, dude? That's a croissant jelly type shit.

Speaker 1 Look at this area right here. I see it.

Speaker 1 What is the white thing?

Speaker 1 Taste it, McConnell. No, no, no, no, no, no, don't taste it.

Speaker 1 But listen. Paper?

Speaker 1 Can you clean that?

Speaker 1 Do we have those disinfectant rags?

Speaker 1 This is insane, dude.

Speaker 1 You clean his side, but my side's like this. They don't clean my side.
I just don't get it dirty like you do.

Speaker 1 That's a big difference.

Speaker 1 Yo, what are you doing, bro? I'm nervous. Just wipe it.
I know. Just wipe it.

Speaker 1 You don't let it soak. It doesn't soak.

Speaker 1 Dude, that evil laugh. All right, that's good.
I'm letting it soak. It doesn't soak.
No, you don't. No, you don't know how to soak it, dude.
It's fine. Let's go.
I soak so good. Mormons do.

Speaker 1 Some people do. Mormons are the big soakers.
Some people just shut up. Super soakers.
Mormons are the super soakers of the world.

Speaker 1 And then what's a kid that goes underneath the bed and rocks the bed? What's his name?

Speaker 1 So they soak, right? Because they can't have movement. So they stick the wiener in.
They don't move it. And then someone goes onto the bed and pushes it.
The kid from the grudge. That's what it is.

Speaker 1 Right. That's who it is.
I call it the kid from the grudge. See, look at the shaking the bed in Mormon.
It's something commonly done by Mormon teens, expected to remain virgins.

Speaker 1 It's called jump humping. Jump humping?

Speaker 1 So the guy gets under the bed and moves the bed. Hey, last night, where were you?

Speaker 1 I was at home. I was at my friend's show.
I didn't feel good last night. Oh, yeah.
Can't you tell? I'm all clogged up. Oh.
My back is killing. Love you, dude.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Stop. Now, I know I was supposed to go last night.
I texted Cho. It was wild.
I texted Cho today. I apologize.
Last night, I'm at the comedy store, and I see this sickly guy.

Speaker 1 Not sickly, handsome, skinny, you know, talented. You mean in shape?

Speaker 1 That's what I meant. Yeah, like an in-shape.
You're right. You're right.
You're right. Yeah.
Okay. That's resentment talking, I think.
Yeah, dude. Put that away.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Let me put that aside. Holster that.
Put that in the holster.

Speaker 1 Because you're looking skinny lately.

Speaker 1 How many people on tour commented that the Ozempic must be working because you look skinny? You heard it the whole trip. Jeremiah Watkins last night called me fatty.

Speaker 1 He goes, what's up, Fatty? And could, I could not believe it. Yeah, but he's like paper.
He's

Speaker 1 like a wispy thin guy. He attacked me

Speaker 1 anyway. Um, why did he call you fatty? I don't know why.
What, who started it? He did. He just came up to you and goes, hey, Fatty.
Yeah. Wow.
It was incredible. And that Dr.

Speaker 1 Phil stuff's going to his head, huh? I think that's what it is.

Speaker 1 Till Coney.

Speaker 1 Till Coney? Kill Tony. I think is that our version?

Speaker 1 Welcome back to Till Coney. Till Coney and Dr.
Phil got to his head. Yeah.
Anyway,

Speaker 1 so last night this guy comes up to me. Yeah.
Morgan

Speaker 1 Jay. Is that Jay Morgan or what? What did it happen? It's Morgan Jay.
Okay. You really think his...

Speaker 1 You think Jay Morgan? You've known him. I know, but I thought he switched it.
No, no, no. I've never heard anyone with the last name Jay.
Everybody says Morgan Jay Morgan all the time.

Speaker 1 I don't know why that happened. Yeah, yeah.
Because of two first names. Yeah, I got it.
That's your fault. My first and middle name.
That's my fault.

Speaker 1 What's your real last name? Ventichinque. Are you really? Ventichinque means

Speaker 1 25. Yeah.
No, don't do that. What's your real last name? He doesn't want to.
No, it is Venti Chinque. No chance.
It's not Venti Cinque. Give me your ID.
Are we introducing me yet? Not yet.

Speaker 1 No, no, we're just doing this.

Speaker 1 You let us take control of the show, Venti Cinque. All right.
Ventichinque.

Speaker 1 There's only one part of that last name I love. I can't believe that's going to be Venti Chinque.
I can't believe that's going to be Ventue. Look, I swear.

Speaker 1 Every time I do my name, he's from my house.

Speaker 1 Wow. They won't even let me.
Bro, he even has a hot driver's license.

Speaker 1 What a hot he is, dude.

Speaker 1 He's hot in the photo. He's got a side.
He's sideways. Ventecinque.
He's doing one of these.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Cicer's your middle name. I went to my first.
No, no, it's my always my middle name. Morgan Jay.
Morgan Jay. Morgan Jay Ventecinque.
25. Yeah, 25.
It's a weird last name.

Speaker 1 There's a whole weird story in Sicily about. Okay.
You're Siciliano. Ciciliano.
Let's fucking go. There you go.
Same, dude.

Speaker 1 And man, you are fucking hot. Everyone else has to face forward when they take the picture, and they usually say don't smile.
He's so hot, they let him go sideways

Speaker 1 and smile. Yeah,

Speaker 1 you are a hot guy. You're fucking sexy.
Morgan Jay is in the building. Give it up for Morgan Jay.
I had an intro, man. Yeah, it was taking too fucking long.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, it was. It was too long.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Can I, well, can I not? Yeah, can I just say what I'm going to say and then? Oh, yeah.
Say what you want to say. Let me say what I want to say.

Speaker 1 Say what you want to say.

Speaker 1 Say what you want to say.

Speaker 1 This is his favorite. Let him do this.

Speaker 1 He hangs out with Benny Hops, Little Two Eyes. Really?

Speaker 1 Jimmy the Cricket. He knows Jimmy the Cricket.
He knows Jimmy the Griggs. How long you know Jimmy the Cricket? How long do you know Jimmy the Griggs?

Speaker 1 All right, so

Speaker 1 last night he comes up to me nervous. Yeah.
He's like, yeah, he goes, I'm a little nervous. I go, about what? He goes, I wrote down questions.
No, I wrote down fucking points.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 It's not quite. I wrote the...
Sorry, go ahead.

Speaker 1 I'm going to show you, Andrew. Every time you interrupt him, he's going to do the fucking point.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's it. That's the.

Speaker 1 Let me see some of these questions. This is what I showed him.

Speaker 1 All right, so some of the questions that he wrote down, or some of the talking points, making this list because I feel like I'm not a good podcast guest. Did Whitney's podcast? She never put it out.

Speaker 1 Did Dumbfounded Podcast? We had to redo it.

Speaker 1 He explains all that. I did Tiger MILF podcast.
She didn't put it out. Yeah.
Tiger. Oh, yours? No, not mine.

Speaker 1 Jeong Yang Summers. Oh, Jejong Summers? Yeah, Jeeun Song Summers.
How do you know? Wait, wait. Hers is called Tiger Milk? Tiger MILF.

Speaker 1 Tiger MILF, yeah. She's your protege.

Speaker 1 She called hers tiger MILF? Yeah. I don't fucking know, I guess.
Yeah. I'm going to get that.
Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, so listen. You did Whitney's and she never put it out.
No, she never put it out. But that's also because she could have taken the wrong pill that day and forgot to poke.

Speaker 1 Then you had a colonoscopy on Friday. Yeah.
And the drug they gave you felt good. What do you mean? It was the loose pro, the Michael Jackson drug, like propananol, profanol.
Oh,

Speaker 1 profanol. Right? It was good.
That's That's good. Carlos, don't not say that.
Can I just finish my intro real quick? Brother, we're already there. No, I'm not there yet.

Speaker 1 He says another thing.

Speaker 1 He says another thing. What do I say? I'm so nervous.
I'm with somebody.

Speaker 1 He gives me the list. Were you with a comic?

Speaker 1 A young lady. Oh, a nice lady.
Then he goes,

Speaker 1 I didn't even ask. He goes, I got a vasectomy.
Stop.

Speaker 1 And then he goes, I swear to God, he goes, you want to see it?

Speaker 1 I was so nervous.

Speaker 1 I go, it was in the patio. I go,

Speaker 1 I didn't even ask. I didn't even ask.
Here's a guy who shows his pubes to audiences. I did.
And then, right, he goes, do you want to sing?

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I go, we're in the patio.
There's people around. What the fuck is your problem?

Speaker 1 But here's the guy who shows his pubes to people on stage.

Speaker 1 This makes sense. I was like, I thought that was your energy.
This makes sense. Oh, you can't match.

Speaker 1 You can't match. You can't match my energy.

Speaker 1 What was this? Okay, you can't match it.

Speaker 1 My energy is my own frequency. You can't match it.
Did Ozempic shrink your hands? Look at your little fingers. I know, dude.
Everything. You went like this.
I know how many people have little fingers.

Speaker 1 I wasn't really going to do it, but I was nervous and I just was vomiting. Can I see it? I do want to see it.
You have sectomy? Yeah, can I?

Speaker 1 You really want to see it? I'd love to see it. I don't want to put it on camera, but I'd love to see it.
I don't want to see it. You got to see it.
I don't want to see it. I want to see it.

Speaker 1 I refuse to see it. I got to see it.
Why'd you get a vasectomy? Because you never want to have kids.

Speaker 1 There's a scar right there. Okay, you have nice testicles, dude.
There's one on the other side, too. My dogs are very dirty and pink.

Speaker 1 You're real bald. Well, I shave my balls.
You shave with a razor or with like a

Speaker 1 razor. Most of us Italians, we don't shave our balls.
No, I shave with a razor, yeah. You go down on women.
Yeah, fuck that. Italians don't do that neither.
We don't do that.

Speaker 1 Oh, that wasn't the Sopranos, right? He didn't want to eat his.

Speaker 1 That used to be real faux pas for Italian Americans to go down on.

Speaker 1 It was like, you suck my. Do you want to see it?

Speaker 1 I just saw it. You didn't see it.
I saw the pink sack. All right.
Nice color. Beautiful sack.
Nice. Beautiful sack.
So I'm sorry, dude.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. Wait, let's back up.
You're 37 years old. Yeah.
And you got to have a sectomy because you never want it. You're like, no kids ever.
Are you married?

Speaker 1 I got a serious partner I'm with. Okay, right.
But we're in an open thing. And,

Speaker 1 you know, I'm dealing with something right now. And currently, we don't know for sure if this girl's like lying or not about a pregnancy.

Speaker 1 So that kind of put the fear of God in me. I was just like, you know, they got to change things.
What did I tell you? No, what'd I tell you? No, you told me. What did I tell you?

Speaker 1 I mean, you told me last night. What the fuck I tell you.

Speaker 1 You don't fuck Ohio. You don't fuck girls Ohio.
You don't go Midwest. Fuck them.
Yeah, you gotta. You told me Miami.
Isn't that where Whitney's kid is from? Miami. No, but another comic.
Texas.

Speaker 1 Another comic was like, you gotta hook up. Can I have my phone back? No.
Okay. Another comic was saying, like, you can't hook up with girls in small towns.
If you do it in a big city, it's like.

Speaker 1 Oh, I didn't tell you that? Oh, yeah. You told me that.
Somebody told you that. Yeah, something told that.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute, because if you do it in a small town, she'll probably have the kid. No, it's just like, you're like, I don't want to, you're like the coolest thing that happened in that town.

Speaker 1 But like, if you fuck a girl in Miami, she'll fuck a football player the next day, you know what I'm saying? Or before she fucks you. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, literally.

Speaker 1 Or you might be the appetizer and then she. But yeah, but

Speaker 1 me and my girl, we've already like talked about how we don't want to have kids. You don't bag it?

Speaker 1 No, I do. I do.
And

Speaker 1 my cum was nowhere near this person. So now I'm like.
Oh, that's even. Okay.
What do you mean? He's saying the person that claimed pregnancy,

Speaker 1 there was no interaction. There was no transactional jizz.
Yeah. No transactional jigs.
Sometimes I can redirect my jizz. And they haven't.

Speaker 1 I really can.

Speaker 1 Your jizz walks like an old Asian man with his hands behind his back, strumming through the streets. I know.
And the break to smoke.

Speaker 1 By the time it comes out of your penis, she's home. Sludge.
Yeah, she's home. She's already at home.
She's gone. Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, but yeah, so I got it and just out of an abundance of caution.

Speaker 1 And also, you know, in the next four years, are going to be tough on women, so I figured I'd get my nuts snipped off anyway. All right, because Trump might take away his sector.

Speaker 1 Because I didn't take away a second. Because I did this before the election.
I did this in September. You did? I did this in September, yeah.

Speaker 1 Bulgy eyes. I'm not high, bro.
No, but the bulging, I like it. Oh, I brought you guys a gift.
Do you bring you guys a gift? Do you smoke weed in general or no? I kind of don't do anything anymore.

Speaker 1 You quit everything?

Speaker 1 I'll have a drink for special occasions, but outside of that. Good for you.

Speaker 1 I know you guys get a bunch of free shit all the time, and you guys might not have to keep this. You can give it back to me if you want, but I know you wear beanies sometimes.
He loves beanie.

Speaker 1 I have the LOL ha ha ha beanie. Love.
Throw it on it. This is fantastic.
I have these two lighters. This one's for you.
Love. That one's for you.
Yeah, well, that one's not. That one's for you.

Speaker 1 Oh, look at this. It's a, oh, it's titties.

Speaker 1 This one's for you. Yo, this is great.
Oh, you sell these at your show? Doc's penis. I got those.

Speaker 1 I got those in. I got those in your thank you.
I got those on my show. I missed them.

Speaker 1 And I just,

Speaker 1 you can have it. And then these are the what's your name, bro? Hat.
Let me see. Oh, okay.
This is for this is from your show. This is from the show.
Wow. So, I don't know.

Speaker 1 You feel free to give it to somebody else. No, this is beautiful.
I'm going to wear this. I rock this.
You know what's so funny? Let's just hide the lighter so I don't have to block

Speaker 1 the whole episode.

Speaker 1 Okay. Do you have to block that? It's a

Speaker 1 YouTube.

Speaker 1 Yeah, go ahead. Express yourself.
Can you hit me a little song there? Do you want like inspirational piano music or

Speaker 1 inspirational piano music? Yeah. Okay, let's see.

Speaker 1 No, I have another one. No, we like that.

Speaker 1 There are times on the podcast

Speaker 1 when I'm sick and tired

Speaker 1 of the Spaniard's bullshit.

Speaker 1 Why can't we fire him?

Speaker 1 Are we waiting for him to be deported?

Speaker 1 He's worthless.

Speaker 1 A disgusting porg of a man.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Great.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 You like my sound effects? I really like it.

Speaker 1 Thanks, man. Very good.
You know, usually sound effects don't get involved. You know what I mean? But I thought this is the right time.
Sometimes you got to. I thought very appropriate.

Speaker 1 Is this a song? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.
There we go. Yeah.
You turn this up.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Badrans podcast.

Speaker 1 Why is Bobby Lee accusing me of being on drugs?

Speaker 1 Do you want to do some of this? You want to try it out? Okay, you can try it out. Just get it close to your mouth.
I know how it works. What doesn't sound like it?

Speaker 1 Now I know how it works. Put away the other mic.
I know how it works.

Speaker 1 Sick.

Speaker 1 You little fucking Italian bastard.

Speaker 1 Bulgy eyes, big teeth.

Speaker 1 Just like a cartoon character from Disney.

Speaker 1 It's fun, isn't it? Okay.

Speaker 1 No, that's your new name.

Speaker 1 You wanna try it? You wanna try it?

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 1 Hold on, hold on. Oh, my God.
You got to get closer, dude. You got to get closer and closer to it.
You got to get closer to him.

Speaker 1 Here we go. A devil wanna give it back.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. He's killing it.
Everything inside of me not to lick your sack.

Speaker 1 You got a great sack for Jay.

Speaker 1 It's beautiful, babe.

Speaker 1 There it is. I'm sick of this Asian

Speaker 1 next to me.

Speaker 1 It's fun, dude. It's fun.
Really fun. Real fun.
Dude, that's so fun. Really fun.

Speaker 1 So what I said was to Morgan before the show,

Speaker 1 I said, dude, I love what you do.

Speaker 1 I said, but you've also done

Speaker 1 a disservice to our comedy world because he's so good at this and so, it's so wonderful. I see people copy him online.

Speaker 1 We were talking about there's people in other countries who are doing this now as stand-ups trying to be him.

Speaker 1 And they're fucking terrible.

Speaker 1 There's a guy from Portugal doing it, a guy from Germany doing it, Russia, like these different countries are franchised. Stinks.
It's so weird.

Speaker 1 They're like, they're trying to do this thing, but it's so bad that it bums me out because it's almost like you wish you could copyright your style. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Because

Speaker 1 whenever somebody, if you're weird and you suck, but you're unique, I like you. Yeah, I said that to him.
I like it.

Speaker 1 But if you're weird, but I know you're doing an impression of another guy, can't fucking stand it.

Speaker 1 But I mean, you know, some people accuse me of being like a kind of like a poor man's little dickie sometimes, too. I get that a lot.

Speaker 1 Only because you're a curly hair, bro. But we also do the auto-tune stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but Dave, but Dave is... You know, I've met him three times.
I feel like I botched the meeting every time. You know what? Let's get to this.
Well, he's

Speaker 1 Jewish. I want to get this part of our personality.
Italians. Okay.
Yeah, that's a problem. This part of your personality.

Speaker 1 Why does it feel like you're like, I'm coming in here and I'm going to have to defend myself? To me? No, to him. Like, right across from you, I feel like I've got to defend myself.

Speaker 1 He's always shooting.

Speaker 1 The kid's shooting. What is it?

Speaker 1 I can't believe it. I'm nervous, dude.

Speaker 1 Dude, this. I can't even.

Speaker 1 Don't I make you feel comfortable? You made me feel comfortable. See?

Speaker 1 Why are you shooting so hard at him? I'm not shooting hard. I can't believe what's going on right now.

Speaker 1 What's going on? I can't even believe it. I'm rattled.
You know, here's what Carlos called it. Thank you.
What is it? You get rattled when it's a hot guy. You don't don't.
No, you don't.

Speaker 1 Yes, he does, bro. Yes, he always does.

Speaker 1 Tell me I'm lying. I don't think he's hot.
You're so full of shit, dude. Shut the fuck up.
That's insane. You 100%.

Speaker 1 That right there is a grave misjustice. You wouldn't hook up with him? This right here is

Speaker 1 diabolic. In what context? Exactly.
Schindler's list, yeah. He's not.
Did he not? In a Schindler's List context where I'm in a camp, maybe. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But no other context. Mamistad, maybe.

Speaker 1 In an Amistad contest, we're in the bottom of a

Speaker 1 on the boat. That's fine.
On the boat. We're rowing.

Speaker 1 Well, you're not rowing. What? You're not rowing.
Well, you know where I'm at.

Speaker 1 You're in the coal room. No, I'm rowing, but I'm at the strongman row team where I don't have to do much.

Speaker 1 I just put my hand on the

Speaker 1 goal. Go, go.
And I'm just kind of going. You're keeping time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get that? Doing the drum.
What's that? You're doing a drum. Yeah, that's not.

Speaker 1 This isn't Fury Road. Okay.
You know what I mean? Where I'm

Speaker 1 going to be. What's Fury Road? All right.
Yeah, and fuck you and Fury Road. So

Speaker 1 what what did you want to bring up? Yeah, what was it? It wasn't being aggressive, dude. It was just an observation.
I'm so sorry that maybe I maybe I do come across that way. No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 And let me

Speaker 1 know. Let me change my attitude.

Speaker 1 I think you're right. So let me start over.
All right, here we go. Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 1 Hey. What's up? What's up, man? What's going on? Thanks for doing it.
Oh, I'm so happy to be here. I'm a big fan.
Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just made a little observation if you want to hear it. I would love to hear it.
Yeah, yeah. It's just everything comes from a negative lens with you sometimes, you know? Really? Yeah, a little bit.

Speaker 1 But, you know, do you.

Speaker 1 You do you. I'll be me.
And it's really good to see you, man. Oh, sorry.
I like what you're doing out there. I appreciate it, man.
Feel better? I do. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is that better now? Yeah. Okay, cool.
Was that the feedback? Was that it?

Speaker 1 That I have. I thought you had a comment or something.
That I see like things as a negative. No, it's like, you know, because last night you're, you know, no offense, you know, I love you.

Speaker 1 You know what? Do you know?

Speaker 1 But what? No. I'm talking.

Speaker 1 Hey, man.

Speaker 1 See, that's what it is. I think it's him.
Did you see that? No, no, no. Andrew, no.
Andrew, please back me up. Okay, okay, hold on.
And please, be real. Can I ask a question first? No.

Speaker 1 Make a comment about my observation just now.

Speaker 1 He is excited to be here. I am so nervous.
Can I tell you something? You don't know this? You don't remember this? I think I know what it is. What is it? It's the four-finger point.

Speaker 1 No, no, it's not that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Point with one finger. Don't go with four because it's dominating.
No, you, you go like, can I tell you something with four? I don't like it.

Speaker 1 I had two encounters with you. That's two fingers.
Two fingers now.

Speaker 1 two fingers five so i once was on in venice it was on ibikini and i saw you walking down the street this was like a year or two ago when i wasn't having the blow up right and i go oh bobby lee what's up you know my buddy mark smalls he's like play he plays games with you and stuff and

Speaker 1 you were like are you a funny guy are you funny are you like you were like you were like seeing if i was like man that sounds exactly

Speaker 1 are you funny and then you like you like grabbed me a little bit like tussled me like kept walking and i was like okay all right yeah and then and then uh the second time i was at the improv i I championed.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 this is unbelievable.

Speaker 1 This is unbelievable.

Speaker 1 I can't believe this. The second time.
Wow, continue, friend.

Speaker 1 It was at the improv.

Speaker 1 And I was so excited because we were in the same lineup. And he was coming in the green room.
And he goes, oh, my God, you're so talented. Do you fuck a lot when you're on the road?

Speaker 1 Like, that was exactly, that was like how quick it came. So it was like very quick, like, boom.
And I was like, oh, shit.

Speaker 1 And I really wanted to, like, I don't know what the, you know, it was like, I wanted to give you the right answer. I don't know what the right answer was.
That's how he operates.

Speaker 1 You must fuck a lot, right? You're a good-looking guy. I never said that.
That's it.

Speaker 1 You did. Either one didn't happen.
Say it to me right now. What? I'll pretend I'm Morgan and say that exactly what he did.
I'll walk in the room and do it. Let me shut it up.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Walk in the room and let me see. Say that.

Speaker 1 You're sexy as fuck. You fuck.
No. Oh, you're doing great.
I like your shit online. Okay, I got it.
You got a lot on the road. Yeah, yeah.
All right, ready? Oh, my God. You're so talented.
No, I'm me.

Speaker 1 No, I'm you. You're me.
Oh,

Speaker 1 all right.

Speaker 1 All right, hold on. I'm not done.
I got to be you. Go back up.
Back up for a second. I got to be you real quick.

Speaker 1 Get those eyes out. I'm gonna get my

Speaker 1 white eyes. White eyes.
There you go. All right, go ahead.

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, my God. You're so talented.
You're such a.

Speaker 1 Oh, thank you.

Speaker 1 I do autotune.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 This sheer disrespect. I do a lot of auto tune.
That's why.

Speaker 1 And I've seen how Bobby isn't on an auto.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, go do it over. Do it again.
No, no, no. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I have another line. I want to go.
Let me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You'd need the mic. Anyway, but you did say that to him for sure.
That sounds

Speaker 1 no, because people make exaggerations about my encounters with them.

Speaker 1 I'm being real. You think you're Bill Murray or some shit? Or what if? Isn't it Bill Murray? He does that.
No, what I'm saying is people go, oh, I met Bobby Lee. He did this.
I never did that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? So it's like, I don't know. I don't remember those incidents.

Speaker 1 I remember it probably different. Yeah.
And that's the thing about storytelling.

Speaker 1 That's the thing about, you know, you ever see see the movie Rashamon?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Rashaman. You know what I mean? Is that Rashaman? Where it's like

Speaker 1 it's four people, three people telling the story of one thing from their all, their different points of views.

Speaker 1 Okay. So in this Rashaman context, right? My point of view is this.
I saw you

Speaker 1 on Venice, Abbot Kinney. Yeah.
Right. And I go, oh, he's cool.
And I go, how's comedy going? That's how I remember it.

Speaker 1 And then in the improv, this is how I view it. I go, oh, I love your shit online.
You go, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you go, you said, I get a lot of girls.

Speaker 1 And I go, oh, that's cool because that happens when you rise.

Speaker 1 That's my point of view. That's how you, yeah, yeah.
That's how you thought it happened. That's how I know it happened in my point of view.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 There was another time at the store, too, that I'm recalling. You can go.
See, now, go ahead.

Speaker 1 Where, well, I was just saying, I've said hello to you because I just assumed somebody like you wouldn't remember who I am

Speaker 1 after. And so he's got a great memory.
Yeah. He does.
The The kids got a memory like a fucking elephant. And so I said, yeah, I think my buddy Andrew Lopez did

Speaker 1 your podcast. And

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I think you asked again if I was funny or not, because we didn't know you. I don't think you knew who I was.
And you kept asking if I was funny.

Speaker 1 You are very funny. Yeah.
But Bobby didn't. Dude, this is a key case of conflabulation.

Speaker 1 Confabulation.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Confabulation.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Andrew Santino's new special

Speaker 1 publication

Speaker 1 You are an Italian master You look like a sick tale shire

Speaker 1 from the godfather moon

Speaker 1 fire I really like you though. I really like it.

Speaker 1 I like you too.

Speaker 1 God, it's beautiful.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Very good. Beautiful.
Very good.

Speaker 1 We met only one time, right?

Speaker 1 We did a show in Venice many, many years ago. It's this backyard.
On a backyard. It was a big show.
It was a guy Ben Blanchard. I was running.
It's interesting because Andrew doesn't do backyard.

Speaker 1 This is a long time ago before he was a

Speaker 1 big actor. Isn't that interesting? First of all, never done a backyard show.
I thought Ricky

Speaker 1 was great. Thank you, bro.
I thought it was really good. That's also a crazy lie.
During COVID, I did outdoor shows all the time. I did one.

Speaker 1 You know, the kid, there's a kid on the east side who had a show and it had a tree house in his backyard. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yes.
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Speaker 1 Hydro. I got it.
You? They gave me one. I got one at the house.
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Speaker 1 I did that. You never, you didn't, you've never, you know, wasn't at Santa Monica or what? Santa Monica.
No, Santa Monica was right. No, no, no.
There's, I guess there's a lot of tree hypersonics.

Speaker 1 I can't see you going to Venice to do a back. This is a long time ago.
Brother, before this was like pre-2018 or something. Back in the day, I went everywhere.

Speaker 1 I used to drive down to fucking, I used to drive down to Dana Point

Speaker 1 to do shows. Dana Point.

Speaker 1 Okay. You know where that is.
I love it. You don't know where that is? No, I don't know where it is.
No. It's the last city before you get to the military base on the way to San Diego.

Speaker 1 I used to drive down there. I used to drive to fucking Orange County all the time for shows, man.
I'd put in the fucking work. We weren't all mad TV kids that got to just do the store all the time.

Speaker 1 Some of us had to fucking

Speaker 1 grind.

Speaker 1 My defenses are coming up. Lower it, dude.
I'll be a nice guy. Good to see you.
Good to see you. Touche.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Really great tour.
We went to Australia. I'm not talking about that.
We're not going to talk about it today. Uh-uh.
My brother's really excited. I'm on the podcast.

Speaker 1 He listens to the podcast. What's his name? Jack.
Shout out to Jack.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to tell you how he described the podcast, but he's excited about it. What did he say? He said, Yeah, I like that podcast.
I can't tell you.

Speaker 1 You have to tell you to tell you.

Speaker 1 With the Irish dude and the fat Asian guy. That's what he said.

Speaker 1 That's the alternative name for the show: the Irish dude and the fat Asian guy.

Speaker 1 Not fat anymore.

Speaker 1 Not fat anymore. That's what he said.
Zempi is cooking. But he loves the podcast.
Yeah, you know, it's so fun.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 here's what's fun about life.

Speaker 1 I just can't believe it. What can't you believe? I mean, it's just like, lie.
You'll never meet the guy. Lie, lie.
No, you have to tell the truth. The truth is always funny.
It's incredible. But

Speaker 1 next time you cough into the mic, put it on the auto-tune. I want to hear auto-tune cough.
You're sick, too, aren't you? I thought you guys make fun of each other on this podcast.

Speaker 1 We do. We do.
Yeah, we do. We do.
That's our whole thing.

Speaker 1 Now, so far, you know, you've done other podcasts and you thought you did bad on the other podcast. How do you think you're doing on this one? I don't know, dude.
No, no, be honest with me.

Speaker 1 How do you think you're doing? I think I'm doing mid. I think you're doing very great.
Yeah, you're fantastic. It's great.
Let's see if you guys release. I know.

Speaker 1 That guy could not release it. He's the guy.

Speaker 1 He's our little magician.

Speaker 1 I think you're doing a great job. Thanks, man.
Yeah. And welcome.
Thanks for having me. This is awesome.

Speaker 1 All right, so let me ask this. Let's move on from the vasectomy thing.
I want to, because you brought up talking points that you had a colonoscopy on Friday.

Speaker 1 Your father had yeah he died of colon cancer god i'm sorry how old were you six six years old like 31 years ago yeah wow dude wow yeah none of my i got my mom remarried my stepdad has parkinson's no way 30 years yeah maybe it's you

Speaker 1 you know what dude i'm sorry pro bro it just came out i know that dude i apologize when you said that it rang true with me

Speaker 1 it did you know what dude it rang true with me i didn't want to say anything yeah i want to say that earlier yeah he bad luck or it could be the Vietnam War and Agent Orange. I don't know.

Speaker 1 That could be it.

Speaker 1 Interesting. You bring it back to the Asian ship.

Speaker 1 I got to do it. Very interesting you did that.
Yeah, that's incredible. Yeah.
Maybe it's COVID. What's next? What'd you have for lunch? Panda Express?

Speaker 1 Wait, wait a minute. How old is the gentleman with Parkinson's? He's 77.
Terrible.

Speaker 1 So awful.

Speaker 1 And this guy was your dad. Basically, yeah.
He raised you. Just more or less.
Yeah, yeah. I've heard most of it.
And is he...

Speaker 1 His functionality is still there or is he kind of...

Speaker 1 You know, on good days, it's like it's you know he just has slow speech but on you know on bad days it's like he's not talking at all and man. And it's just like

Speaker 1 slow, so slow blinks, a lot of coughing at the at the dinner table and stuff like that. It's funny when people bring up stuff like that.
I tend to laugh, but it's not, I'm not mean.

Speaker 1 No, it's just a defense mechanism. I understand.
Like Ramsey at the comedy store, his dad's losing his mind.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? When he first told me, he goes, my dad's like losing his mind.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 That was like my first.

Speaker 1 That's because i just can't deal with it like if i'm at a funeral sure instinct if i'm at a funeral i'm gonna laugh like one time my brother at a funeral right and we heard a knock and i go look nt hon is trying to get out and then my brother then my brother started laughing like uncontrollably yeah so it's just in you know in uncomfortable situations

Speaker 1 i'm looking back at him he's looking at me i love you dude

Speaker 1 yeah i love you dude dude you and i we should have been pals long ago let's play some fortnight together or call of duty or something yeah yeah warzone or something where'd you grow up jersey About an hour outside of New York.

Speaker 1 Love a Jersey kid. I was in freshman.
Where were you at 9-11?

Speaker 1 High school. High school? Yeah, me too.

Speaker 1 One of my favorite classes, too. What class was it? Spanish.
Spanish. I fucked up my Spanish class.

Speaker 1 I was in English class. Were you? And we had people in our town that worked in the World Trade Center area.

Speaker 1 I remember the girl right behind me burst into tears and ran out of the room because they showed it. They were on TV.
It was crazy. Wow.
Wow.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about? 9-11.

Speaker 1 Isn't that in in your topics? No, it wasn't, but I don't know. I'm running around a list now.
You know, I mean,

Speaker 1 that was very good. I feel like that was on the list.
Yeah, yeah. This is kind of wild.
Yeah. This one says, promote Hamas.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah, okay.
Go ahead, brother. Yeah, go ahead, dude.
Yeah, that's on you. It's a good platform.
Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 1 This one's here we go. Here we go.
Here we go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, keep going. Keep going.

Speaker 1 Ride the middle, ride the middle of Hamas. Come on, yeah, ride the middle.

Speaker 1 Really good, dude. Will you once it will you want to no, no, once grab it? We just say, Will you sing, sing Allah Akbar once in there?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hamas, Allah Allah Akbar.
Out of context, this is gonna be terrible.

Speaker 1 It doesn't matter. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 I want that as my ringtone, so bad.

Speaker 1 No, okay, hold on. This is good.
Went to a private member's club in Disneyland 33. You went to club 33.
Yeah, I went there. My reps got me in there.
You know what's fun?

Speaker 1 Get a couple of pieces of paper. We're going to write some lines.
He's going to sing them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. If it's too much, you know what I mean? Yeah.
this is why this is this is fun. This is fun, yeah.
Let's do this, yeah. You did, so you felt like you bombed meeting little Dickie for real, yeah.

Speaker 1 So, the first time I was like, he just moved to Santa Monica, and um, this is before the show and everything. We're at the California Chicken Cafe on uh Lincoln Boulevard, he loves that place.

Speaker 1 And I go in there, and I go, Oh, little Dickie, man, hey, you're so great, man. If you're ever looking for somebody to do like a hook or something, it was really nice.

Speaker 1 He was like, Actually, man, I'm just trying to do like real rap right now. But he was like, If you put your mind to anything, you really can achieve like your dreams or some shit.

Speaker 1 He said some shit like that. You want me to call him and rectify everything? Do you know why? Because I feel like he's like, I really think he's an amazing artist.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I feel like what he sees as me,

Speaker 1 what I would do, and I'm probably projecting is I'm just being charismatic with auto-tune. And I don't, and I think the two things are so different.

Speaker 1 But the two things are inherently different, so they can't be compared. I suppose.
That's like saying we both do amplification of voices microphone. We're all different.

Speaker 1 You're still different. Yeah, yeah.
But

Speaker 1 he's someone that, if you're good, respect. He likes you.
I hope so. Yeah.
I hope he doesn't think I'm. I'm going to text him and ask him if he likes you.
Oh, God. And he's like,

Speaker 1 don't fuck with that guy. Give no context for it.

Speaker 1 You got some of yours already? I only have two. I only got two as well.
Let's just do two.

Speaker 1 I can't think of any. You can think of another one.
Fun? Yeah, yeah. You're creative.

Speaker 1 Sing about the idiots in the booth, real fast.

Speaker 1 We got some dummies in the boozo.

Speaker 1 I think they have tiny penises.

Speaker 1 They support a mom.

Speaker 1 One of them has a crazy bald head

Speaker 1 that they're hiding.

Speaker 1 The ones I have are probably even good.

Speaker 1 It's so Gucci.

Speaker 1 Can I ask you a question? When you're on your show and people don't sing, you know, sometimes

Speaker 1 it's upsetting to me when I'm watching it. Yeah.
It's like, give it a go at least.

Speaker 1 But I'll tell you what, those people who give me pushback, and then there's a couple clips where we've gotten them to sing, the joy that reverberates in the room when we get somebody to like kind of like this exposure therapy to like sing and come out of their shell.

Speaker 1 And when you crack somebody, when you crack somebody and they smile and the whole room smiles. And I mean, it's and for me, it's exciting, you know.

Speaker 1 I was, you know, I got I was doing standard for like six years, and I was, I was doing okay, but I just kind of got bored with it.

Speaker 1 All right, there, wow, damn, dude, that worked. I've thought, I can't believe I've remembered how to make a paper airplane.
Hello, Los Angeles. We are paper airplane.

Speaker 1 Hello,

Speaker 1 hello, everybody. We are paper airplane all the way from Pool San Coria.

Speaker 1 Everybody, yo, can we name our first paper airplane? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We are here.
We go. Paper airplane.
Fly, fly, fly all over the world.

Speaker 1 Paper airplane coming, steal your girl. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're really good. There you go.
I have three. And if you don't,

Speaker 1 exactly what I thought would happen. They don't work.
Is this okay? It's on. They don't work.

Speaker 1 I'll make it work. He'll make it work 100%.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I went to so many ditty parties.

Speaker 1 Can we freak off?

Speaker 1 Give me that baby oil.

Speaker 1 Give me that baby oil. Put it on my

Speaker 1 body.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Good one. That's the next one.

Speaker 1 You know what I like?

Speaker 1 I like the taste of children's toys.

Speaker 1 Put those little beans in my mouth

Speaker 1 Put some ditty oil on them

Speaker 1 Get it nice and slippery

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah

Speaker 1 So good finish it, take it home

Speaker 1 Believe our Calleen

Speaker 1 Where was it? Okay. Where was it? Where's the waiting?

Speaker 1 I guess where the one where was the one? They're probably combined, probably in those.

Speaker 1 Oh, that was right here.

Speaker 1 My heart. So good.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Bobby, where are you from?

Speaker 1 What's your San Diego?

Speaker 1 Korea.

Speaker 1 Chin Chong.

Speaker 1 Chin

Speaker 1 Hong Kong Fried Rice

Speaker 1 Next one next one

Speaker 1 Does anybody know some dwarfs here?

Speaker 1 Does anybody know some dwarfs in the room

Speaker 1 Anybody know some dwarfs?

Speaker 1 Because did you know that when dwarfs fart

Speaker 1 they fly just a little

Speaker 1 Did you know that if you get a seahorse and you put it with a dwarf, you got ocean cowboys,

Speaker 1 little cowboys

Speaker 1 swimming through the ocean.

Speaker 1 How do dwarfs touch themselves?

Speaker 1 I always think about that

Speaker 1 when I see that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, bro. Very good.
Very, very good.

Speaker 1 Did you write the dwarf cowboy, this little walk? No, that was, he added. Okay, that's mine was the farting.
Yeah, the farting. Right, which I ended it there, but then he added.

Speaker 1 They also added more of the Ching Chung Pink Pog. Yeah, that was great.

Speaker 1 You got to continue. Yeah, because Ching Chung Ping Pong's not good enough.
You got to say, huh? Fried rice remote.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you had to. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you guys feel like from this point, like, you've, you've achieved everything you wanted to do? No.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm good. I'm out.
I'm I feel good.

Speaker 1 I felt good last year. I was everything at this point is just like extra for me.

Speaker 1 I'm happy, you know. I think we've always said, like, as soon as we could employ and have fun with our friends, that was like we beat the system.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 We can like work without, like, literally everybody in here is a friend of ours from many years ago, except for one guy that's newer, but we still love him.

Speaker 1 But like, that guy is my oldest friend in Los Angeles, like, and we work together. I've known him for a very long time.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 But our goal was just if you could work with your friends and make shit, that was like, can we do that all the time? Yeah. Yeah, it really is.

Speaker 1 This year was the first year I started bringing my openers and friends with me. And it's the fucking best.
It's literally been a whole.

Speaker 1 Let's call it dumb, though.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 we already know because I did it with a friend of mine, Binium Bizuna. Because we were like all over the place.
Dumb is lower. I like Binium.
Yeah, Binny and David. He wrote on Dave.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, Binium's great. And

Speaker 1 we were just kind of all over the place, and it wasn't editable. So we just, I just did.
I'm going to lie. You're not with me.
Okay. Okay, just watch this.
They're old friends. So this will be.

Speaker 1 No, watch. You are, I'm saying.
I'm old friends, yeah. Yeah, it'll be worth it.
Is he still mad at you? Well, we'll find out. What up? Yo, dude, what's up? So it's so crazy, dude.

Speaker 1 I ran into fucking Morgan J.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he was like, yo, dude, that motherfucker dumb made me do his podcast twice. It was fucking bullshit.
And I'm like, no, seriously, what the fuck happened, dude?

Speaker 1 Nothing happened, man. He just did it because he did the first podcast and it was bad.
Like, what the fuck happened, though, dude?

Speaker 1 He's not really a great podcaster. So it just, I, I just didn't get any good things.
So because he was also with my other comedian homie, Binnium. Yeah.
And they were, like, not riffing well.

Speaker 1 So I got him on again. How do you do the second time?

Speaker 1 I thought he did great. The second was better.
So I'm glad we did it again. Yeah, good, good, good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do you think we should have him on our show, Morgan?

Speaker 1 Yeah, for sure. Why? Really? But really, though? Why? Yeah, because I've heard bad things from Whitney stuff.
You know, other people have said it.

Speaker 1 Like, he's not, like, he's stiff and doesn't know how to, he doesn't know how to add information. He's a kind of a diva.
Is he a diva?

Speaker 1 Uh, no, he's not a diva. I mean, he's definitely making noise, you know.
Yeah, yeah, but you know, when you look at him, doesn't he not look like a rat to you?

Speaker 1 Like his fucking teeth and the way his face just comes out like a rat.

Speaker 1 No, I'm being real.

Speaker 1 Is Morgan there or what? I'm right here, bro. I'm on the podcast right now.

Speaker 1 I was nervous about how I'm a bad podcaster.

Speaker 1 I fucking knew it. You fucking prick.
I love you, dude. We love you.
You're the best, bro.

Speaker 1 Morgan's good.

Speaker 1 That's a perfect name.

Speaker 1 Morgan's good.

Speaker 1 He's good, dude. No, he's real good.
No, because you even said, I mean, if you, you were like, you're self-aware. Yeah, we were.
There are times I do podcasts.

Speaker 1 I'm like, that was, I was fucking terrible. Yeah, I even said, I was like, I don't know how you guys are going to edit this together.
This is crazy. What? Well,

Speaker 1 there's no way.

Speaker 1 I've done that where you do them and you're like, dude, can we not put that out? Yeah,

Speaker 1 you got to put that out. Or you give them a million notes.
You got to cut that out, cut that out.

Speaker 1 If you were like in a bad place, sometimes during the day, you're coming from and you're like, brother, I'm not in a good place. I shouldn't have done it.

Speaker 1 It's crazy how you came right from doing your own podcast. You just like doing podcasts.
Do you have one after this? No. No.
No.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 1 I just listen to that shit.

Speaker 1 I tried to do a podcast, but it wasn't in me.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to do the live streaming stuff. I'm trying to be like Kai Sinat.
See, I don't want to do live streaming. Well,

Speaker 1 we don't. Here's what works for us.
We just absolutely do not prepare anything. That's right.

Speaker 1 You were mad at this list.

Speaker 1 No, we just kind of just show up and like, you know, just do it. And sometimes we don't air it.
Some of us prepare. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What do you mean?

Speaker 1 We have stuff slotted for the show. Sometimes it's better not to prepare.
That's That's right. Yeah.
Well, that was fun. Like that little thing we did, man.
We didn't know we were going to prepare.

Speaker 1 It depends on what show, but sometimes we have to prepare. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, you must have some guests who you think are going to be like pulling teeth, right? No, like a lot of times I'll coordinate with these guys on bits that we're going to run on the show.

Speaker 1 But Bobby, well, Bobby, Bobby is a

Speaker 1 it's like a hidden camera show for him.

Speaker 1 He's never, he's all, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like he gets to show up and you're, he's always the fucking bit. Yeah.
But that's the beauty is that we tee you up to fly free.

Speaker 1 Wonderful. Do you not know that we do work behind the scenes?

Speaker 1 I understand that you do work like so why are you just gonna video that we're gonna watch, but what I'm just saying in general about like how we're gonna open or the things that we even said in the first 45 minutes, we didn't plan.

Speaker 1 No, we did not. None of it.
That's right. Yeah, we just kind of ride the wave.
And sometimes the wave isn't rideable. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's a swell. It's just a swell.
It's a one-footer, dude. Yeah, it's a one-footer.
And then sometimes we go, we can't release that footage. Yeah, I get it.
You know?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't put a one-footer, dude. You know, can I just say that it's like your eyebrows have like, they're like Hitler mustaches.
You just got them done. Okay.
Right before this.

Speaker 1 I literally was like, I like clean myself up. But they're like literally short.
Are they usually longer?

Speaker 1 I mean, if I didn't do anything, it'd be a unibrow for sure. Are they threaded? Did you get them threaded? I got them threaded, yeah.
I had a nice girl from Bangladesh did them for me.

Speaker 1 You know about that? Threading? Oh, yeah. No, I have to.
I prefer that to the... Kalila, I used to take her to the threading place.
Yeah, yeah. I see them do it.
They thread it.

Speaker 1 You've never had to trim your eyebrows. Shout out Beauty Secrets on Venice Boulevard.
No, on Washington Boulevard.

Speaker 1 Beauty Secrets.

Speaker 1 You've never had to trim your eyebrows. No.

Speaker 1 I've never trimmed anything except for my mustache. Oh, yeah.
How often do you do that? Once a month? When I can taste my hair, then I cut it.

Speaker 1 What does it usually taste like? Well, sometimes I go, wow, this pastrami sandwich is rough.

Speaker 1 And I go, oh, my little mustache is getting into the, you know what I mean? Dude, when you guys have a slice of pizza, like, you smell it afterwards for a little bit, like the cheese? I'm a germaphoe.

Speaker 1 I wash my face. I just want you to know.
I know I sound, I'm not like a contagious person. No, no, I know Andres is sick anyway.
He comes into the studio sick every fucking week.

Speaker 1 Do you guys get sick a lot when you tour? No. We didn't get sick at all.

Speaker 1 In Australia, we didn't get sick at sick. No, I don't get sick much.
I have a good immune system, but he does bring his bullshit ass baby and his fucking wife works in a hospital.

Speaker 1 So this motherfucker brings shit in here every week. I'll immediately be like, oh, you've been sick.
And I'll go, you're sick. And then what do you say every time I go, are you sick? What do you say?

Speaker 1 I was. I was.
I'm over it. Yeah.
He's always over it. So the day that he gets healthy is we pod the next day.
Just a coincidence that he's always just over it. I get it.
The fucking liar. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Call him a fucking dirty, sick liar.

Speaker 1 He's a dirty Spaniard liar. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're a dirty fucking Spaniard.

Speaker 1 You fucking colonizer.

Speaker 1 Fuck you, and you're colonizing friends.

Speaker 1 Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Fucking love you.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Do girls, when you're with that, if you're with them, do they want, like you're in the hotel or whatever, do they want you to turn that shit on then? Have you ever done that?

Speaker 1 What's that saying to a girl? When you're singing, have you ever whipped that out and sang while you're in the hotel with them? No, no, but I with my guitar sing for it. Oh, Mont Laurie.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine getting head while you're like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 The one time I, so I met, just getting this girl in Cleveland, right? Oh, yeah, suck those balls.

Speaker 1 Be gentle with those

Speaker 1 balls.

Speaker 1 Put one in your mouth. Put the second one in your mouth.
And take that in that finger and stick it in my ass.

Speaker 1 Chicks have to love that shit, though, huh? They love it. I'm a goofy guy.
They like a goofy guy. Yeah.
Nah, you're a handsome cat, though, too. So

Speaker 1 how do you break that up when you're fat?

Speaker 1 Am I fat? No. Like your brother said? No.
You've been thinking about that. You're not.
Yeah, I've been thinking about that whole time. You're down, literally, you're down six.

Speaker 1 Yeah, am I fat? Like your brother said, literally, no, you're stout Asian. You're stout, that's what he said.

Speaker 1 You're not stout, dude. Yeah, I'm not stout.

Speaker 1 No, he means you're stocky. Look at that.
Lift up your shirt. You're not fat.
You did. No, you lost weight, bro.
I mean, what's up? He's on Ozempic. I'm not trying to fight you, dude.

Speaker 1 Anyway, let's move on. I gotta let it go.
I let it go. I let it go.
Yeah, I let it go. Yeah, yeah.
Tell him what you told me in Australia, though. What's going to happen? What's going to happen?

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm going to get ripped. Bro, do you want to? We can go to a gym sometime together.
Yeah, dude. Take him.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You'll see. I don't do.

Speaker 1 You know what I've been saying in Australia the whole time? Morgan J, if I may. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's kind of this kind of bullying shit. It's this shit right here, dude.

Speaker 1 Dude, no, it's this shit. No, he kept me in the car.
In the car, he kept it. No, no, no, no.
I'm going to get jacked. I'm going to get jacked.
I said, ripped. Ripped.
You can do it.

Speaker 1 And this guy

Speaker 1 cackled like a hyena in the night, dude. Hilarious.
In my face. And you know what I said to him? I kept saying to all these guys, you'll see.

Speaker 1 because I love a challenge. You can do it.
I love a challenge.

Speaker 1 Yes, I did. What? I believe in you.
I am

Speaker 1 in the power of like, you can do it, bro. Everyone is.
I don't think you can get jacked because you're 60 or something. So, yeah.

Speaker 1 But I think you could get fit. Fit is different.
He said he's going to get jacked. I don't think you can get like ripped jacks.
Correct.

Speaker 1 Whatever you do, no matter how ripped you get, it's going to be like a little bit

Speaker 1 literally proving my point. A little bit looser, but verbatim what I said in Australia.
That's what he said? Verbatim. But you'll be like ripped healthy.
Yes, healthy. If that makes sense.

Speaker 1 But even like a 50-year-old who's ripped,

Speaker 1 bring up RFK Jr. with the shirt off.
This cat is in unbearably good shape, and you'll never get near this. And he still looks kind of fat.
The rock is 50. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but the rock is on trend or something. Yeah, he's on.
Yeah, he's on shrew. So zoom in.
Look, he's in phenomenal shape. You don't think I can look like that? Oh, dude.

Speaker 1 But look, look at his belly still is like loose because we're not young anymore. You're not a kid.
I know, but I'm still going to look like that. Still me ripped.
That's ripped to me. He is ripped.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. And I can't get there.
There's no. I think it's physiological.
There's no way you'll ever get there.

Speaker 1 I love those fucking

Speaker 1 dude.

Speaker 1 You'll never be

Speaker 1 a grasshopper and I fought it with my.

Speaker 1 Okay. There's far too much fake sugar in the world.

Speaker 1 I agree, dude. Yeah, yeah.
Take it out.

Speaker 1 So everyone listening to now, you heard it first. Wait six months to a year.
Let's do it. And then we'll see.
That'll be you.

Speaker 1 You'll be like Alex Young. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, man, I got fucking jacked as shit.

Speaker 1 Frogs are gay. You know, some, some, some people really,

Speaker 1 some women like that build. Oh, fuck yeah, dude.
That's a really good point. This is my point.
Women already like the way he is. That's a good point.
He pulls beautiful women. So to change is weird.

Speaker 1 The same girls aren't going to find you attractive.

Speaker 1 That's somebody said, I already told you. I'm fucking Cornholio.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're really funny.

Speaker 1 I told you the wildest shit about this guy. I did ever tell you the story.
You met him. This is my first time here, so I've heard no story.
No, but this, did I ever tell this on there? No.

Speaker 1 The wildest story, dude. This is a while ago, me and Rogan and George Perez, and we're playing in Austin.
What's the club? Why can't I think of it? Cap City. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The old one.

Speaker 1 And we're down there. And the next morning.
George is like, you know, hey, bro, we want to fucking get high as a motherfucker.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, yeah, absolutely, absolutely dude let's get ripped up and like go down by the ladybird lake or whatever so we get fucking stoned and then rogan is like uh meet me at the four seasons hotel we're gonna have we're gonna have lunch okay we're or dinner or whatever okay

Speaker 1 and he's coming he tells us when we're oh boy when we're there and i was like oh shit alex jones is coming to this fucking thing

Speaker 1 are you is that like a oh shit he's coming or is it like how fascinated with this okay okay great like like he's not gonna talk to me i'm just gonna be near him at a dinner listening to chaos you know what i mean uh yeah there's a piece of me that was like, this is a bad idea.

Speaker 1 I don't want to be fucking photographed with this fucking lunatic. But he's like, he comes to the dinner and

Speaker 1 he's, dude, he showed there's like armed guards everywhere. And he sits down.
We're outside on the patio, surrounded by a bunch of people.

Speaker 1 And he does, like I said, George and I are fucking baked and we're just looking at each other because we're like, this is so strange. And he brought a girl, girlfriend or something, whatever.

Speaker 1 She's pretty beautiful. I don't remember.
Okay. She's just like a woman.
I don't know. But he's the whole time, he's like in the middle of conversations with Rogan, like deep.

Speaker 1 They didn't look at, you know, he didn't look away from once. And he would be like, yeah, that's, and then you're the girl.
This is the girl that's with him. He'd be like, yeah.

Speaker 1 So, Joe, that's like, that's the thing that's going on. It's like, frogs are gay.
That's an animal.

Speaker 1 Children are going to be gay like frogs and be hot bumping all. And then he, and then he would stop and go in the middle of it, go, baby, baby, kissy, kissy.

Speaker 1 No, no,

Speaker 1 that is so funny. My hand to God.
Baby, baby, kissy, kissy. Oh, my God.
I love it. And she would give him a kiss.
Yeah, and she, she'd give him a little kiss.

Speaker 1 And then he'd go, and like I said, two, maybe, because kissy, kissy means two. Yeah, kissy, kissy, kissy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he wouldn't even skip a beat, dude.

Speaker 1 He'd go right back into right back to Rogan and be like, and that's the thing. If they're licking frogs, trying to get high on total side, and they're also going to be gay, turning you gay, and you're

Speaker 1 no. My hand had gotten

Speaker 1 away. And to me, George Perez, you know, we're fucking cooked.
Yeah. So George was, I mean, so baked.
We're dying laughing. And I can't look up.
Like, I'm just

Speaker 1 trying to eat mash packs. Oh, my God.
It's amazing. Because I was losing my mind.
It was so surreal. It was like one of those, like, I'm in a, I'm in like a fucking curb episode.

Speaker 1 Do you know what I mean? I was like, does he go licky licky? Yeah, let's sucky sucky, family, sucky. Wow, that's where Sucky Sucky maybe came from.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 The weirdest thing. It was like a lot.

Speaker 1 What was Sucky Sucky? $2?

Speaker 1 Is that 50 years ago, 100 years ago? Is that still $2? That's from a movie, right? $2 Sucky Sucky. What? Chinatown, maybe? Like, inflation's gone up.

Speaker 1 You think it's like $80?

Speaker 1 It wasn't a full metal jacket, right? Is it $80 Sucky Sucky now, you think, or $100? No, it's like $140.

Speaker 1 Specific.

Speaker 1 That was so sincere, dude. It was so funny, dude.

Speaker 1 By the way,

Speaker 1 I wanted to put this fact out there to the world because it shocked me.

Speaker 1 When did Picasso die? Picasso.

Speaker 1 Probably in the 60s. In the 80s.
In the 70s. In the 70s?

Speaker 1 Close. Yeah, but I thought for sure it was before that.
You're probably thinking of Van Gogh.

Speaker 1 You're like a fucking idea. Van Gogh? Van Van Gogh.
Van Gogh? Van Gogh. Who the fuck is Van Gogh? It's Van Gogh, but it's pronounced Van Gogh.
Shut up. Look it up.
How do you think?

Speaker 1 Can I ask you about art? Wait, but it's Gogh, G-O-U-G-H, right? Well, it's Dutch. It's like...
Can't ask you about art. Yeah, but we're not, bro.
That's true. That's Van Gogh.

Speaker 1 Is Keith Herring good? You know my stance. What is it? No.

Speaker 1 Have you seen the doodler? The doodle guy? That guy's better than Keith Herring. That guy's really great.
I fuck with that guy. Mr.
Doodle. Yeah, Mr.
Doodle. I fuck with him.
The guy in the subway?

Speaker 1 He painted his whole house.

Speaker 1 in doodles it's crazy bring up mr doodle real fast this dude is incredible keith hering was this guy's incredible this guy is a magician i've never seen someone so and it's just like i don't know how it comes out of his brain it's all freehand and it comes out perfect look at that oh wow that's so dope and he just did that with like paint and markers and keith herring keith herring wishes he could do that yeah now bring up some keith herring

Speaker 1 he's dead right but the same could be said for what's his name he did the the the canned tomatoes or some andy warhol andy warhol no no no don't ever don't ever bring him no no no negative light again These are different.

Speaker 1 These are different. Because Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol.
Look at it. Look, look, look.
Come on, bro.

Speaker 1 Please, dude. I mean,

Speaker 1 it was about AIDS. He was doing this for AIDS.
Yeah, yeah. No, what? No, he just happened to have AIDS.

Speaker 1 No, no, he got it. Do it for it.
No, he's not. Oh, my God.
I got AIDS. I got to do art.
What if he went out? We wanted to bring awareness to it.

Speaker 1 He went and got AIDS just so he could do the art.

Speaker 1 See, that looks like a doodle. That's a Mr.
Doodle. I think it's pretty cool, dude.
I think he's the first guy to do that. You know what it is? It's got sauce.
It's got swag. It's great.
I do like it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's It's got swag.
No, here's the problem: I like it, but I don't want it. Okay.
Right. It's fine.
Yeah. I fuck with it.
He was good. He's talented, but also, like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 It was, it's fine. Yeah.
But interesting. Oh, look.
It's no starry night. Oh, he looks like he has AIDS right there.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Terrible, bro. Look at that.
He's like, I got AIDS. No.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh, here we go. An AIDS song.
Yeah. I have AIDS.

Speaker 1 I'm aided up.

Speaker 1 I got so much eight.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You got me? On this podcast going, Hamaz.
Hamas. Yeah, Hamas.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Basquiat, you like him? You know how I feel about Basquiat. He's great.
He's cool. Yeah, yeah.
But again, like, his shit isn't like, wow. Yeah, yeah.
He's just cool. Yeah.
This is the problem.

Speaker 1 I fit this in cool artists. Like, that's cool, but I never go, wow.

Speaker 1 I just go, that's cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I see that on that's like at a sh on a shirt at Target.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, yeah.

Speaker 1 What's your Korean name? Uh-huh. Chung.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's so nice.

Speaker 1 No, that's not. Sure, that was a godfather theme? You don't know, you know? Chung.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's good. You don't know my Korean name?

Speaker 1 Yeah, do it down. That's the other thing.
Chosun Gobi. That's his name.

Speaker 1 How do you know Apa? Ah, from Dum's podcast. Yeah, from Dum.
Oh.

Speaker 1 What is your Korean name? He'll sing it. Sung-u.

Speaker 1 Sung-u.

Speaker 1 Sung-hu.

Speaker 1 Uh.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Wow. How do you get Sung-u?

Speaker 1 I didn't name it. My parents did it.
How do they get it?

Speaker 1 What does it mean? I think it means 60.

Speaker 1 You're coming out of like a Republic. What does that mean?

Speaker 1 What does that name mean? Esung Wu is my name. So when you Chinese people give each other Wing Wong names and ding-dong names.
Oh, do they have it?

Speaker 1 Is there a website that has that definitely? By the way, that's what... That's the name of the Virginia Tech shooter.
Oh, Sung-hu. Sunghui.
That's Sunghui. Not Sung Wu.
It's pretty close. Sung-woo.

Speaker 1 Both songers. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Some songs of bitches. By the way, remember wing dings?

Speaker 1 That's what that Texas dude calls any sort of Asian writing. I saw a bunch of wing dings on the fucking wall, dude.
Bro, Korea is crushing it right now. I want to go.
In what way?

Speaker 1 Just culturally, they're just like exporting like that's you. Sung-hoon is the name? Who? H-O-O? Just H- I don't know, H-U.
How do you not know you're fucking how to spell it?

Speaker 1 I don't know how to spell it. They're dancing better.
They're singing better. They're making fried chicken better.
They're fucking crushing it. Yo, be careful about that fried chicken shit.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, GIs taught them how to make fried chicken better. That is true.
Yeah, that is true. Black GIs taught them how to do that.
Yeah. Korean fried chicken is bomb as fuck.

Speaker 1 Bro, they're fucking crushing it right now. Yeah, film, they're crushing it.
I mean, look at the that was the biggest problem with Australia, by the way. What's that? Too many fucking whites.

Speaker 1 The food was dog shit. Yeah, I just, I always have Thai food when I go to these, like, us too, but you run, you kind of run out of it, because even then, you're like, all right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's too many whites. That is a worldly knowledge.
If you have too many whites, central core in your country, and not enough others, you're fucked. Your food is fucked.
Shit. We had more bad pizza.

Speaker 1 Wasn't there a comic who was like, if you want to deport all the people out of America, you shouldn't be allowed to eat their food. Like, whoever you want to deport it.

Speaker 1 Whoever you want to deport, you can't eat their cultural food. They don't have extra crispy chicken at the Kentucky Fried Chicken in it.

Speaker 1 It's like soggy. Well, did you get the Kentucky Fried Chicken in Australia? Yeah, I thought it was soggy.
No, it wasn't good. The chicken.
I thought it was really good.

Speaker 1 The quality of the chicken is good, but they don't have extra fried. It's got to be crispy.
By the way, because the best, they love KFC, but I think our best still to this day is Popeyes.

Speaker 1 I think Popeyes fucks the hardest. I think it's the crispiest that we get in America.
What's the best fried chicken you've had? In my life? Yeah. The Dave Chappelle fried chicken.

Speaker 1 The best fried chicken I've ever had was

Speaker 1 one of them was definitely at Chappelle's. We had chicken and waffles at like 1:30 in the morning.
After we did Chappelle's. I couldn't move my neck and my fucking heart was about to stop.

Speaker 1 Was this at his place? I couldn't go to sleep. At his club.
I couldn't go to sleep because I'm. Dude, I thought I was going to have a heart attack that night.
It was like,

Speaker 1 he had like a world-renowned chef after we did our show. And the show's done.
We close down. Everyone's, you know, party is over.
He's like, we'll go have chicken and waffles. And I was like, where?

Speaker 1 He's like, right there.

Speaker 1 And we walked into a room, into like a private dining room, and they served us

Speaker 1 made-to-order waffles with homemade butter and syrup. That's poured off.
That was incredible. Did like beautiful fried chicken.
Yeah, it was gorgeous. And then afterwards, he was like, Let's go dance.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like a night.
Yeah, they started dancing. Fucking amazing.
So hanging out with him was pretty tight.

Speaker 1 Dave Chappelle is Willy Wonka of comedy. He is, yeah, yeah, he is the dream maker.
He makes the

Speaker 1 yeah, it's it's unit's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 Aziz told a joke about it. He's like, do you really want to hang out with?

Speaker 1 You could go home or you could say you hung out with Dave Chappelle or some shit. Aziz had a joke about how you he wasn't going to, I don't know.
No, but he, but honestly, he isn't.

Speaker 1 He's like a dream maker. Wow.
Where there's guys where you're like, oh, would that be as fun to hang out with them? With Chappelle if he's a fan of the family. He's so generous.

Speaker 1 You could tell when you watch him. I always said that the comics that are really great are the ones you want to hang out with after the show.
100%.

Speaker 1 He was like, well, he had a store. He's like this beautiful store in town that has all the Chappelle gear.
Wow. And he was so.

Speaker 1 He was going there and take anything. And we were like, no, no, we'll get a shirt or a hat, you know? And we walked in there.
And the people working there were like ready bags.

Speaker 1 We're like, okay, guys, throw everything in a bag that you'd like. It was wild, man.
Wild. I was like, oh, this is.
You're just, you feel like you don't deserve it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Where you're like ashamed a little bit. But he's the, you know what I mean? I hate to say I'm jealous.
I want to do that. It was fucking rad.
It was rad.

Speaker 1 We cried. Yeah, we cried.
We cried.

Speaker 1 You still agreed with him? No, I don't, I'm sober, but you know, when we first saw him, we said, we're going to go back to the hotel. We got in the car, and him and I both started crying.
That's true.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah, because

Speaker 1 it was so cool.

Speaker 1 Because he picked us up in his Jeep at the airport. He picked you up? Yeah, we go to a private plane.
He drove, and he picked you up. He literally was leaning against

Speaker 1 me. What's up, man? And we got in this fucking, it was incredible.

Speaker 1 He flew us in his jet. It was incredible.
And then he met us at the airport. And he was like, well, there was a driver there that...

Speaker 1 somebody had arranged but then he was also there to say what's up and to say like good to see you and then we thought all right, we'll leave him alone. And he's like, come in my car.

Speaker 1 And then we went in his car. Is he like funny, like out off stage? He's like a chill dude.
Yeah, he's just a chill guy. Or is he just like,

Speaker 1 you know, something, you know, there's some comics where like always kind of on. He's not on.
No, no, he's just like he's not on, but he'll,

Speaker 1 but it's funny. Yeah, he's naturally funny.
He's just so like charismatically funny that like the way he converses is so he's very intelligent. So the way he frames the world is just funny.

Speaker 1 That's so cool. He's the guy, dude.
Yeah, he's Willy Wonka. To me, that felt like a day.
I felt like I was Charlie.

Speaker 1 That's inspiring.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 the whole goal of my life, right, and the whole adventure that I've been on, and it's been quite an adventure. Yeah, it's crazy.
Is you know, these tiny moments. It's not about like, okay, here we go.

Speaker 1 Adventure. Yeah, wait, wait, wait.
Just get it out first. You get it out first because I like this.
Yeah, it's about

Speaker 1 every year if something new happens, right? I think that's more important than success.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, like when we were in that island and we saw the little kuakas and they had a baby quaka coming out of the belly. And then, you know, I'm taking a selfie with the quaka.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, this is

Speaker 1 a moment that I never planned. It was a surprise.
Unexpected adventure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And it was

Speaker 1 memories. When you build memories, I think that's what the point of life is.
I agree. And experiences.
And it's like, you know, the Chappelle thing was that, that, and I think

Speaker 1 some of the things we experience with quakas. Quakas.
Yeah. And also.

Speaker 1 Riding scooters in the parking lot. Yeah, dude.
My bad friend. Yeah.
14,000 seats. 14,000 seats.
Sold out. 45,000 Australia.
Sucking in air through an asshole. Yeah.
Sparting it out. Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 That's a memory. So

Speaker 1 Australia. That's the whole point of life.
That is. Yeah.
Don't you think? Yeah, let me do mine. Yeah.
Do the music.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that.
Beautiful. It's beautiful, dude.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 At the Sydney airport,

Speaker 1 I had to go take a shit before our flight.

Speaker 1 And we were in a rush, and I didn't want to be late to the gate because

Speaker 1 I had a carry-on bag, and I didn't want there to be no bin space.

Speaker 1 So I quickly got up after taking a shit a little too fast and leaned forward. And my penis brushed against the porcelain of the toilet seat.

Speaker 1 Oh no.

Speaker 1 Was your dick getting hard because of the dookie being too big? That's the problem. You know how your dick gets a little bigger sometimes.
That's the problem.

Speaker 1 When you're taking a shit. Yep.

Speaker 1 I was engaging my sphincter. My dick got a little thicker.
I brushed it against the porcelain. Stood there for like an honest minute.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 now I'm a she.

Speaker 1 Now he's a she.

Speaker 1 My kids have two moms now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I cut my penis right off at the Sydney airport. You'll find a little Cheeto in stall four, Sydney airport.
He's got a clitter dick.

Speaker 1 A clitter dick.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Remember I had a meltdown?

Speaker 1 Do it. Every day.

Speaker 1 No, in New Zealand. No, going to New Zealand.
Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.
That was a meltdown.

Speaker 1 It was pretty bad. It was pretty bad.
It's farther away than you think it is. I thought I was.
They're fucking endless. They wouldn't let me on the plane.
They went to Perth.

Speaker 1 They wouldn't let me on the the plane. Yeah, we went to Perth, too.
No, we almost didn't let us into the country. Oh, really? Because his passport chewed up.

Speaker 1 Because,

Speaker 1 well, not just any dog. The greatest dog alive.
Yeah, yeah. And so my dog.

Speaker 1 Snoop Dogg did it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Snoop Dogg chewed on my passport. Hey, cuz, give me that passport.
So there's a couple of pages with bite marks in it.

Speaker 1 And we're about to go, and they're like, nah, you can't, you know what I mean, mate, right? And I go, what do you mean? You can't come into the country. They wouldn't let him do the biometrics.
Oh,

Speaker 1 they shut up. So I just sat there while everyone got on the plane and i was like i guess

Speaker 1 and then i started having a meltdown you yeah he was he was arguing with you were alone did you guys just leave him there no we had a tour whatever

Speaker 1 we all had gotten on the plane yeah he was last in the line so no carlos no carlos back he was yelling google me yeah google me and he was counting down the minutes until when he was just gonna go back to la he started yelling five Really?

Speaker 1 Five minutes. And then there was a

Speaker 1 embarrassed my friend doing something like that in Vegas. Really?

Speaker 1 Well, no, no, I had a meltdown, but I was like trying to use my status to get into this restaurant. What restaurant? Which one? It was just in one of the, it was like the Venetian.
I forget that.

Speaker 1 We just want to get food, and there was like, it was like Friday night. And I was just like, let's just go here.
And then it was all like young girls who were probably my demographic. Sure.
Yeah. And

Speaker 1 he was just like, hey, guys, I'm on TikTok. You might have seen me.
Like, you sure you don't want me? I like sold this place out.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 You did that? Yeah, I did that. I love it.
And he goes, he goes, bro, that was gross. That was gross.

Speaker 1 I know when you do. Who's your my buddy Chris, we started a comedy.
I like that. He was like, that was gross.
I like that.

Speaker 1 But then my reps got me in a reservation of Carbone, and he goes, That was pretty cool. It worked.
He's like, Yeah, that was cool. Yeah.
Anyway, sorry to interrupt you.

Speaker 1 I interrupted you and told my story. No, no, no, no.
But I am the guest. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Should have what up my story? Yeah. Pretty cool stuff.
Yeah, did you end up at Carbone?

Speaker 1 You ended up on Air New Zealand.

Speaker 1 We ended up getting in there. Well, you want to wrap it up then, sweetheart? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what? Let's end this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can we end this? Wrap it up. Wrap up.
Wrap up the show with a song. I'd like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bad friends, time to wrap up the podcast. I had a good time talking with my best friends.
Yeah, Morgan Jay, gonna come back again, right? Maybe. Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 1 Maybe, yep, maybe.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 learned a lot about my friends here. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 Thank you for being a a bad friend.

Speaker 1 Right, man, that's so good.