Keep Sketch Away From Loop Loop

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You two are bad friends. company and affiliates.
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I love you just the way you are.

I love you just the way you are.

Do you not remember this guy?

Yeah.

Did he sing for the Doobie Brothers?

Mm-mm.

He was a solo artist.

What's his name?

Aaron Neville.

Oh, he's black.

Yeah, black.

He wears Chelsea jerseys too.

That's exactly right.

So we got a guest in today. Ladies and gentlemen, Sketch.
Sketch, Kyle, right? Kyle? Sketch is here, baby. Kylie, yes, sir.
Kylie. Thanks for having me.
Hey, Sketch. Thank you.
He just learned about... What's up, brother? There it is.
Hey, it's the worst... Turned into a meme.
Unintentional meme. It's incredible.
What do you mean? You had pro athletes doing it. What's up, brother? Yeah, death pop there.
Yeah, dude, dude, dude, you do it. You do it.
What's up, brother? What's up, brother? God, it's great. I love it.
I love it so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Give me a little exit there. And I mean, how did that become a viral thing? I was just playing with my buddy and we were having like, I just don't know.
Because I've tried to thought, I've tried to think, trying to think of catchphrases and what's up, brother, just kind of flew by my mind, you know? it was not even like funny or anything too. It's more of like, I just threw up a finger and then it turned into like an inside joke.
No, it's incredible. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, he's trying to get a catchphrase. Can you make up one for him? Because you were good enough to make up that.
How about this? How about keep it loose, lady? No. No.
Why? No. Keep it loose, lady? Keep it loose, lady and you do a little hole like this? I liked it.
Yeah. Keep it loose, lady.
Yeah, keep it loose, lady. Maybe city chicken or something.
Yeah. Ooh, city chicken.
What? City chicken. City chicken what? Your catchphrase could be city chicken.
What's the hand gesture? Double C. Oh, whoa.
Just like the Crips. Yeah, yeah.
You already got a little. I think it needs a third thing.
I'll try to throw an accent on that. Oh, so what? Was it city chicken? City chicken.
No, no. No.
How about city chicken? No. No, no.
Jesus Christ, Bob. Are you having two kicks there or something? What is it? You can? Orange chicken.
Unbelievable. Friendly fire.
What? Friendly fire. Friendly fire.
Orange chicken. That's mine.
Orange chicken. All right, yeah.
You're city chicken. I'm orange chicken.
Well, are there other catchphrases that you're known for? Or is that it? other things I'm known for But not catchphrases Your video gaming Well this is what's interesting Bobby is old And loves video games And you're young and you love video games This is the meeting of the world Except he's more into sports gaming And you're more into cozy gaming You know about cozy cozy gaming? What's cozy gaming? Well, you've never heard of cozy gaming, bro? Do you play like half naked or something? No, cozy games are like Stardew Valley farming simulation. Like just cozy.
Oh, like farming simulator. Yeah, relaxing games.
He likes low. Why are you squinting like that? Oh, I just get like I get fog in my eyes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but that's the look that you do when you take a...
Yeah, it is. Yeah, so what do you look like when you take a...
That or even worse? Well, I usually kind of put both my feet up on a seat. Yeah, let me see your face.
Oh, nice. That's very nice.
You guys both have... You have both the same eyes.
You do know that, right? You mocking and squinting. I don't know if it's Asian or Down syndrome.
Yours? Yeah, what are we both doing? I don't know. Is it Asian or Down syndrome? It's a little bit of both.
Hey. It's a little bit of both for you.
Yeah, yeah. But no, he's into cozy gaming.
He likes, Bob likes low stakes, long term, like long play games. He likes marathon games.
Or it takes you months and months. Where you grind.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
No, I like that. You like grinding? Grinding? Yeah, sometimes.
You talk about getting on someone or something? Yeah. What did you say? Getting on somebody.
No, that's not what I mean. He means putting in the work.
Putting in the work. Like collecting mushrooms or whatever it might be.
You collect mushrooms? Stop, stop. Not in my real life.
You think I go out and get portobello mushrooms in the forest? That does sound good. It does sound really good.
No, like in some games, like in Skyrim, like there's a... Are you okay? I'm good.
Lean back. Can you hear me? Can you hear me? I'm sorry.
Am I being too aggressive? Yeah, what are you doing? I'm sorry, sorry dude Welcome welcome Hey this is Thanks for coming Asian on Asian crime here Yeah Wow So you're a quarter Is there a percentage of you That's Asian Um no People think I'm Asian Yeah I'm more like Hispanic Oh you're more like Hispanic Yeah Yeah yeah You say you're more like Hispanic Or you more You are more Hispanic I more emulate Hispanics Ah. Are you a full white though? Pretty much.
Yeah. Have you done your 23andMe or whatever? No, I haven't.
I need to. Wait, wait.
I'm a little darker. I don't think so.
You don't think so? I think you're just white with a little bit of tan. That's true.
Yeah, white with tan. I've been outside a lot.
No, you're white. I don't see the tan.
You don't see his tan at all? No. Yeah, he's a little tan.
tan Well I have to know What he looks like in the winter Oh right I don't know winter Kylie What are your colors What are your colors in the winter? My colors in the winter Yeah I can get pretty white Okay good Yeah okay good It's pretty Yeah do you ever tan your nuts? Tan my nuts Yeah yeah No Okay Do other things Should I try Whoa wait wait wait stop This is the shit I want to get into He loves this yeah Tippi tap That's it You tippy tap your nuts A little nut play Throw them to each side of the leg Yeah Is it your own nuts or somebody else's That's what happens when If you cozy game Like if you're playing with your pants off Yeah yeah yeah Your nuts start to get stuck to the side of your thigh Yep Throw them to each side Yep We used to call that the bat wing The bat wing Yeah if your nut gets stuck to your thigh And you spread it It looks like a bat wing You never done that? The flying squirrel It's called a bat cave when you get it stuck to your gooch That's true Write that down That's something I'm learning now Bat cave And when it gets stuck under there you can yell Alfred And it'll unhang Oh the butler or whatever his name is Did he get pussy at the wienerler. Did he get pussy, butler? Did Alfred ever get pussy in the game, in the movies? You know what the problem is? What? Bruce Wayne kept him so away from everything.
You know Alfred didn't have time to get ass. But one time he did.
When? In what movie? I'll tell you what movie. When did he get ass? I'll tell you what he got ass.
He got ass in The Dark Knight. When? I'll tell you when, dude.
Will you just let me fucking talk, dude? I don't like being rushed by you. Why are you rushing me today, dude? All right.
Sorry. My bad.
That was my fault. Thank you.
That was my aggression. So go ahead.
I apologize. When does it happen? Well, remember that Russian ballerina thing? They closed that down.
Uh-huh. Right? And then, you know what I mean? Then they got a yacht.
Right. And then remember Christian Bale jumped off the yacht because he's going to get on a plane i remember the capture the ching chong guy yes yeah yeah yeah i don't know his name chin han that's my friend the actor chin right and alfred was on the boat with these ballerinas so we don't know what happened there oh the assumption is yeah he got to pick he got to pick whoever he wanted well i mean what probably the deshaun watson treatment yeah oh bobby doesn't know who that is no but i like it but i do get the reference and he doesn't yeah well tell me the reference it's uh like a pretty much a happy ending massage except with a little more stretching whoa so you're getting massage getting happy ending while you're doing yoga It's a surprise to the other person.
It's a surprise to the other person. Not good.
So if you and I were stretching, let's say you and I did hot yoga. Okay.
Can you see that happening in a... Yeah.
Can you see us doing hot yoga together? I can. All right.
I envision we're in Hawaii. Or Thailand or something like that.
Oh, you want to go to Thailand, right? The motherland. What, you think I'm Thai? You think I'm Thai? I'm guessing.
No, you're not. No, you're right.
Well, guess what I am. Where's Bangkok? Thailand.
Thailand. Okay, Bangkok.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm not.
Is that your last guess? Let me think about all of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll just look.

Korea.

Yes.

Yeah.

Hey, let's go.

Wow.

It's so good.

Right on the money.

Right.

So we're doing hot yoga in Thailand, right?

And we're stretching. And then I walk up to you and I just start like putting my hands on your genitals.
Is that what you mean by the Deshaun Lewis? Yeah, the Deshaun Lewis. That's what he's talking about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
That's what he's talking about. Yeah, yeah.
Is it Deshaun Lewis? What's his name? Sean Watson. Deshaun Watson.
Exactly. Have you ever had a happy ending? I've done it to myself many times.
Have you ever had an happy ending? I've been to Vegas. Yeah.
Okay, good. That sounds good.
I mean, have you gotten a handjob? How old are you, by the way? 25. You're 25? So I assume you've had a handjob before.
Yes, sir. They're the worst.
Yeah. Do you like them or no? They're pretty...
I don't prefer them. Yeah.
Let's get to the other parts. Yeah.
What are the other parts? I don't know. From your part of this country, I don't know.
It could be different. Oh, this.
Head and shoulders. Oh, I don't know, but yes.
Second base. Oh, second base.
Head and shoulders. Do you like to suck a young titty or what? I do.
You're a butt guy or you're a titty guy? Hey, I love fucking titties. Knew it.
I knew you were one of us. The American way.
I knew it. God is good.
God bless America. It's the greatest country in the world.
It's the best country in the world. You know you can't do that in any other country.
You can't titty fuck overseas. I know.
They shun it. Well, in Asia, their titties are so small.
It's very difficult. Yeah, two small things don't do.
You're just doing chest bone fucking. know what i mean they have these hard chest bone korean legs oh you just got to rub it against the chest bone but that is that is that you know that is how they make uh fire wasabi and wasabi what like fucking a pigeon chest very good true yeah i like that.
Broad shoulder. Are you seeing somebody now, Kylie? Seeing someone? No, not specifically.
Okay. I'm kind of just doing tryouts.
Oh, you got tryouts. Oh, I like that.
So when you go out on a date, let's say I'm a girl. Can we pretend? Yes, sir.
Yeah. My name is Loop Loop.
Oh, I love her. This is my favorite character.
I've never been. I love Loop Loop.
Yeah, I'm Loop Loop. Yeah, no.
That's your Italian. I'm Loop Loop.
Perfect. Hey, what's up, brother? Hey, sister.
Very good. You're already sucking his dick.
Where are we going?

Where are we going?

Yeah.

Hey, let's just go straight to the crib.

Whoa.

Yeah, but it's 6 p.m.

I haven't eaten.

I thought we were

going to have dinner.

Okay.

Sushi.

Okay, where, brother?

Thailand.

We're going to go to Thailand?

Whoa.

This guy's going to

fly you to Thailand?

So now we're on a plane.

That's probably the easiest

way to get the play there.

Whoa. So you're going to fly all the way to Thailand to get sushi? Possibly.
But you don't know any sushi places in LA or Texas? No, no. Okay, fine.
We're going to get some chicken or something. Oh, chicken.
Well, it was a downgrade. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Sushi to chicken.
We went from sushi to chicken already. The way you're dressed, you know, you look like you probably give it up pretty easy.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Wait, you're saying that I'm fat?

No.

No, it's the small hands inside.

Oh, I have a little tight, dainty hand.

No, I'm just kidding.

Okay.

Okay, anyway, so what chicken place are, what's my name?

Loop Loop.

Loop Loop.

Loop Loop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's Loop Loop.

Don't forget it, mister. Yes, sir.
So what chicken place are we going to? City Chicken. Oh, City Chicken.
Is it good? Is it good? City Chicken. City Chicken.
Activate. Whoa.
One of the best spots in LA. Really good.
So we go to City Chicken. And then what are we getting dessert? Are we going back to your crib? Back to the crib.
Okay. Probably.
I don't go on many dates. I usually just go.
I know. That's why we're acting it out.
I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to fucking help you.
Okay. This guy's the dating guru.
I'm the dating fucking guru, dude. I'm trying to fuck.
Let's get this show on the road. I know, but you can't go right to fuck, dude.
Hey. Yeah, yeah.
I think he can. All right.
So we're at your crib now. We're at your crib, right? Nice place.
Excuse me? Why are you squinting? I'm trying to zoom in right now. Oh, you're zooming in.
Wait. For you to get long side, you have to zoom in? These, when they gave me these, they gave me two different sides and two different strengths.
I didn't like that. So it's just like, I can't really see that great, but I just didn't feel like going back.
He's zooming in. Oh, you're zooming in.
Zooming in. And then, you know what? I'm going to zoom into you two.
Whoa. That's hot.
I thought you were already zoomed in. I zooming in Do I zoom I'm so sorry I got COVID Sorry I'm coughing I have COVID Hey look that's the origin Loop loop Wait wait You think I'm from Wuhan China? A little bit of bat soup Take Lu LuPu for some bat soup.
Turning very QAnon and fucking racist.

Hey, whoa.

Whoa.

Anyway, so we're watching.

We want to watch a movie,

cuddled up on the couch.

Sure.

What do you want to watch?

What do I want to watch?

Excuse me?

I thought we were going to fuck.

What are you?

Okay, you just want to fuck? All right. So I didn't bring any condoms.
Do you have any? No, sir. No, ma'am.
No loop-o. No loop-loop.
All right, so you just want to raw dog it? Sure. He didn't even think about it.
Yeah, sure. He went straight to it.
Wow, so that's your style. I've already got my booster and all that stuff i'm good oh you're vaccinated yes sir oh that's cool yes ma'am wow and you these homies you're who are these homies you're with these guys yeah that's my brother the black guy's your brother it's my manager and my camera guy oh that's cool dude not that camera guy the new camera guy the new camera guy do you have any questions for my little friend? I'm really loving Loop Loop.
I got to tell you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm losing my shit over here with her. Yeah, yeah.
Well, you love Loop Loop? I love Loop Loop. It's a pretty good character, right? Thank you so much.
So you're single though, Sketch, huh? Yes, sir. You're running around having a good time? Actively, actively in play.
Oh, good for you. Wow.
Well, you're not on the apps though. Not really.
Can't use them. Can't really.
Too famous? No, just not enough good picks. Ooh oh kind of got kind of got to show up in person well now do you get your girls from dms um dms and mostly just go to parties or just go out oh a party no not that's what diddy party please don't go to those hey don't party like a sketch party Are you throwing parties at your house no i so like i live with banks right now and uh i mean

uh we just i just go i'll go places sometimes but mostly like just out but like i don't know

i'm trying to think of i usually just get addresses from people whether it's a place or like

like a restaurant or something yeah good for you when you get addresses i don't can you explain

he's young and successful and they tell him where to go. Oh.
They say, come here, come party here. Go there, go party there.
And then when you party, do you drink? I drink, smoke a little bit. Mostly smoke.
Some weed? Weed, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
You do molly? Oh, no. Okay.
Have never. Never have.
Interested? Have you taken molly? Yeah. What's it do? What's it like? Feels good.
Put you back in that loop loop scenario. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My wiener's tingling. What's up, brother? I think that's another baby catchphrase.
My wiener's tingling. My wiener's tingling.
Wow, that's a good one. You you gotta add like a when you add a hands on with it yeah that doubles the doubles the chances of it oh you gotta put an emote with uh what that you're saying yeah yeah does your penis tingle often um no but it does burn sometimes okay oh yeah oh hot dog that's do you know that's not because i have one kidney so sometimes it just comes out Like pretty Piss will come out pretty orange or something like that What happened to the other one? Born with one I think someone probably harvested Somebody took it Where were you born? I was born in Arizona Phoenix? You live in Texas now? Yes yeah what city i live in houston oh it's a good city the big h we love the big i love i love living in houston yeah would you ever move to california you like it out here or no i like it out here for like purposes like this but besides that uh i like living in houston i've lived there my whole life so i just that's that's just kind of the vibe yeah that's where all your people are yes sir yeah i get that how I get that.
How are you handling fame? Pretty, I don't know. I take everything day at a time.
It's more like, I don't know, it happened pretty fast. I never thought, I don't really care to be on camera or stuff like that.
It's pretty fun. You seem very comfortable here.
Yeah. I'm at just cameras and stuff.
I was never like public speaking or anything like that. Well, we never learned public speaking.
We just do it. Yeah, we did.
Yeah, we did. But I bet you, but hey, guy, I bet you can do all kinds of public speaking.
Yeah. If you like, just do a little test here.
Do a little. Let's do a TED Talk.
Do a presidential debate. Oh, would you like to do a presidential presentation with President Carver here? Okay.

And I'll be the CNN moderator.

All right.

Okay, so.

Well, unlike my opponent.

Well, I like. Excuse me, sir.

Yeah.

We just started.

Oh, okay.

And I have to do the introduction.

Oh, sorry.

So welcome to CNN.

I'm Sally Stevens, and I'm the moderator today.

And welcome.

And today is the Democratic the um democratic nominee president carver right hello and we have um the republican nominee um a president um what's your last name cox cox anyway let's get that let's get let's get i know what it is let's get the debate on the road okay so um about immigration what is your stance president carver well loop loop i'm glad you asked unlike my opponent i i like people of all color my opponent has said often that he does not like minorities it's kind of the stance he takes it's what he's talked about often it's on his shirts it's on his hats yeah um and you know i'm full in support of it my opponent has a tiny cock he's got a baby dick okay okay whoa whoa whoa whoa and a little too fast you know know what? What? That gets my vote. That gets my vote.
That just got my vote. I just won three states down south, baby.
Wow. Look at that.
That's incredible, dude. You should run.
I know. I'm thinking about it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're taking fame day to day.
Does it ever freak you out a little bit? Yeah. It's more like I'd wake up and go, it doesn't feel real or something.

When you see pro athletes,

when you see pro athletes do What's Up, Brother,

does that fuck with your head?

Does that fuck you up a little bit?

Turns me on.

Hell yeah.

No, I'm just kidding.

They'll probably take it wrong.

Yeah, no, it's pretty sick.

I mean, I never got the whole thing.

Like, What's Up, Brother, I did one time. But it felt like it I feel like it turned into a whole meme and that's all people say to me.
I don't have to say it back to them. You don't have to.
So it's like, oh, no. No, you don't have to say it.
You can just let it go. Is it annoying or do you want to? Oh, no, I like it.
Bless in disguise. I just never really got the whole.
It's just like, what's up, brother? You know what I mean? I thought that was a pretty call. Yeah, but it's your cadence look it's your style it's who you are that's what people got into yeah okay they like that you know like they like that the rhythm of it is good they like the way you present it stole that from djt god bless hey they like you and that's a good thing that's it that is good yeah yeah um usually these things happen when you don't try you see a lot of people try what are you laughing at Carlos? DJT okay what does that mean? Donald J Trump are you okay? are you just football or do you like it? I like all sports mostly just football football is where my claim is.
I played that when I was growing up.

Did wrestling and stuff like that, but like never really fuck with it too much.

Yeah.

You were on the wrestling team?

For a little bit.

It sucked.

You get your ass kicked a couple of times.

I was a chubby 170.

So I'd go out there and wrestle like a real 170.

Wow.

They'd kind of like throw you around.

You know, this guy was an extremely good high school wrestler.

So was his brother.

Really?

That's true. Yeah.
Yeah. What weight? No, you guess the weight.
an extremely good high school wrestler. So was his brother.
Really? That's true.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What weight?

No, you guess the weight.

Guess the weight.

I thought sumo was one weight.

Bro, very funny.

Brilliant.

But I just, you know, because I'm being, I just want to-

Asian jokes or layups, I'm sorry.

Y'all don't fight back.

They're right there.

Well, they can't.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, look. Yeah.
So yeah, I just did collegiate wrestling not sumo You did? Yeah I did You ever did collegiate wrestling? Well I did what high school whatever high school Was it freestyle at your school or what? Oh yeah like no what's the other one? Collegiate that's what it's called Regular where you stand I did four years And what weight do you think I wrestled You look like you're Probably 180 right now Oh my god Maybe like a little soft Ow, ow, ow, ow Wait, what do you think You're Wait, you're not 180? No, I am You put a one in front of it? How'd you start with a one? Okay 225 22. 225.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 225.

Wow, I gotta get out of the Zempick, I think.

Yeah.

That's it, that's the final straw.

No, it's him.

Yeah, dude, that was fucking crazy.

Okay, he guessed what it was.

You think I came in aggressive?

Right?

Sumo and then 280.

What the fuck is going on around here, man?

Hey, you look like you got soft skin.

Come on.

In a good way, though.

In a good way, yeah.

I do, I love this guy, dude.

I know.

He's the best. Hey, we'll be tip to tip later yeah you will wait wait stop can we slow down no i'm sweating now yeah i'm sweating you're drooling a little yeah i'm drooling too you mean dock space docking yeah space docking yeah yeah yeah you got a sleeve do you have a sleeve or you clipped oh me should we call it? You got a helmet? I took a little off the top at the start.
You took a little top? Yeah, me too. He's got a little buzz cut.
That's what I told him when I came out. I said a little off the top.
Yeah, so we have no way of docking. Yeah.
So you're right. It would be tip to tip.
Well, it'd be like this, huh? Am I the pinky? Oh, you're both pinkies. Friendly fire! Oh, yeah.
You have a nice penis? Check Google. Okay.
This guy's fast, dude. This guy's so fast, dude.
Check Google. We love you, dude.
I love you more. I want to know about your family.
So are your parents proud of you? Yeah. Like, I have great parents, great family.
Blessed with the people I like uh was raised by oh cool dude all the things after the fact were uh my own doing what do you mean after the fact um well like up till uh like i mean they can they raise you till you're 18 or whatever yeah so i mean like they taught me everything that was right and wrong and then you did your own thing after that um yeah more of like freestyle i'm sure i'm working on it but like you know yeah we're all working on it yeah'm working on it. But like, you know.
We're all working on it. Yeah.
Because like, you know, like he's working. We're all working on something.
Everyone's working on something. Bobby's sobriety, right? I'm trying to get, stop being so angry all the time.
Yeah. And we're failing at both.
We're failing at both. What are you getting sober from? Oh, drugs and alcohol, generally.
Like what was your drug of choice? Well, over the years it's been different at times, you know? Sometimes it's been alcohol. Sometimes it's been just weed.
Sometimes it's been opiates. Yeah.
Crack. One time it was crack.
Crack. So now I'm fine now, you know? Yeah.
My advice is probably weed. Weed.
Probably too much weed. All day, every day? Yeah.
Yeah. A little bit before here, a little bit when I wake up, a little bit before I go to sleep.
You ever taken a dab before? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I couldn't. I spoke Gaelic after I got so fucking high.
It's unbelievable, man. I hated it.
I didn't like it. I don't like to feel that out of control.
Too high. That's true.
I want to be a little bit high and just coast through the day. Have you ever taken psychedelics in? Yeah, but it's a different kind of trip.
You know, like psychedelics isics is more involved it's more peaceful dabs hits you in the face really hard yeah i don't like it that hard feels like butane yeah i want it slow and low baby that's true slow and low so i'm gonna ask you you don't have to get you have to divulge but i am curious because your manager is here and you know what that means you're making money yes sir whenever they come along you know they're making good money now So you're making good money huh Yes sir And I don't know where he works But he's a fancy manager Fancy manager You mean this guy right here Right there Yeah yeah You like the jeans there He's fancy He's wearing the same jeans You work for a company Or are you solo Yeah Whoa see even that fucking response, very famous. Well, I'm going to ask him because we can hear him on the mic, not him.
You know your attitude today, dude? Just trying to help the whole thing move. I know.
You know? My bad. Your manager you met how long ago? January-ish.
Right. So this is fresh.
Yes, sir. And is it going good? Is he treating you right? Yeah.
Great, great guy. And we'll have him killed if he's not.
Easily. Yeah.
What kind of stuff is he getting you into um like in terms of like deals or like yeah yeah we're doing i mean like i signed a couple of deals like i got a deal prize picks oh yeah oh yeah we love stuff like that and um uh i make most my money from twitch though yeah your twitch streaming is the thing that kind of popped you hard too yeah twitch twitch pays pretty well and then I do YouTube as well. What's the game you're playing on Twitch? The game I mostly play on Twitch, I do like IRL stuff more now.
But like I play a lot of Madden and stuff like that. Madden.
Yeah, like the gaming stuff like during the summer, it kind of dies off and IRL kind of takes over. What's IRL? I'm dumb.
In real life. But what is that? What are in real life games? So it's like instead of behind behind desktop it's like when you take it and you're free roaming like you'd be doing anything but it pretty much means like off a computer no so when kids are like kids are in school that kind of like uh the desktop because like they'll go to school go home and then they'll watch they'll watch people game but like during the summer like a kid would rather play games and watch someone be outside kind of like so it kind of goes through ups and downs of like god that's such an interesting thing man i love it yeah it's pretty awesome people have pitched him because they people want to watch him play yeah but you so you're saying don't do that in this you should have you that well what i'm gonna do i think when people really responded to me i'm starting a farm on stard.
So I'm going to start a brand new farm. And I think I'm going to vlog it.
Yeah, you should. That is good.
Yeah, yeah. And we'll see what happens.
But you ever play Warzone? Sometimes. Not really.
I'm just trying to figure out a game where I can play with you. Try Madden.
Yeah. I just don't know how it works.
That's the only problem. Well, you know football.

Yeah, I mean, I think I know the system of scoring system.

Wait, is this Lupu asking me?

Well, Lupu and Bobby Lee are similar.

They kind of are interchangeable.

They're kind of two in the same person?

Yeah, you know how sometimes... You're wearing a skirt under there?

Yeah, that's an Italian gangster.

There he is.

Oh, yeah.

If you want to go and talk to Vinny,

you can talk to Vinny.

Yeah, do you want to talk to Vinny?

Who's that?

That's Vinny.

Oh, right there?

Yeah.

I'm like that fucking, what's Split?

I'm like the movie Split.

Right.

Yeah.

I do this, but then I also do Loop Loop.

If I captured you,

let's say you got knocked out.

Just let me just, right? You got knocked out, right? And you were in a cellar somewhere. You're tied to a fucking pole.
Middle pole, right? I can see it now. And I'm like split.
I come out, right? No shirt, maybe a Hawaiian shirt, right? And I'm like, hey, how you doing? You know what I mean? And I did these characters. Would you be scared? I would be scared.
I would be scared up to a certain point. You're like, do you think? I'd probably throw it mid-range What? You can be intimidating You think I can? I think so, if you dress up or something Don't keep the shirt off What? What'd you say? Keep the shirt on Oh, you think it's scarier if my shirt's off? Yeah You know, it's coming from a guy Here we go I always say, you remember Porgs? Porgs? Yeah What's a Porgs? From Star Wars Oh, no, no, I don't Oh, you don't want to Check this out Yeah, yeah There it is Yeah, that's basically his body That's him Yeah It's impressive Yeah It's impressive You think that you know what the fuck a porg is a porg yeah no you've ever seen star wars no i don't i don't i don't really fuck with sci-fi too much he likes real life shit yeah it's true he's not a nerd documentaries yeah but he looks sci-fi i look sci-fi you mean he looks i mean he looks i've dude i went to fucking comic-con that's what they look like i'm just whispering you can't hear this right but yeah doesn't he looks andrew back me up here doesn't he look like he knows sci-fi or not yeah but you do too yeah and i and i do all right i'm not denying it he's denying it all right right maybe he doesn't yeah you don't i don't age wise i refuse 25 is also young for star wars well yeah no also young for Star Wars I don't know if that generation likes Star Wars that's older we're older he's 25 that kid right there is 25 I didn't watch Star Wars until college we grew up with prequels coming out when we were kids they fucked up the yeah they fucked all that shit up yeah yeah it was better if they left it alone or they just started with phantom menace is that what you're trying to say trash it was trash anyway so you don't watch any sci-fi no not not really i mostly just watch youtube twitch and then like who do you watch on twitch other streamers just trying to see what they're doing i have no clue really how to stream right now so it's kind of like you don't i just when i started i just kind of turned on this thing and i'd play a game but like to build out like a stream you kind of like have to have multiple segments what but so you've been so successful at it it's funny that you say you don't know really how to do it it's just it's kind of just been working on its own yeah well then why fuck with it leave it's great that's true right if it's not broken why are you trying to fix it obviously you've amassed something very popular and appealing i think the more people try to fuck with it the worse it gets yeah yeah i think leave it alone i think you're doing a great job yeah that's what i'm trying to do well it's it's weird that old saying if it's not broke finish it if it's not broke must be american don't don't fix it there it is djt that's right love it love or leave it love it or leave it list it love it or list it is it that's leave it love it or leave it alone that's good yeah test them on the phrases that's smart what is that phrase from what is this a sci-fi thing what love it or leave it what is love it or leave it is that like I've never even heard of that before.
Oh, you just thought- What the fuck phrase from? What? Is this a sci-fi thing? What, love it or leave it?

What is love it or leave it?

Is that like a- I've never even heard of that before.

Oh, you just thought-

Who the fuck said that?

Who the fuck said love it or leave it?

I did.

Yeah.

Where's that from?

Life.

Okay.

Yeah, love something or leave it.

What does that mean though?

Love it or leave it alone.

Right.

Okay.

Do you love me, Lupu?

Loop, loop?

Why do you keep calling me loop, loop?

Loop, loop?

I mean, loop, loop.

It's loop, loop.

It's two loops.

Two loops.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look at that.

Two loops don't make a wrong.

Double loops.

Yeah.

I just made one up.

That's it.

I like that.

I just made one up.

Have you traveled internationally?

I've been to Japan.

Whoa.

Yep.

No, wait.

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

He's just saying regionally.

He pointed regionally.

Yeah, but he went. Well.
Like, I'm supposed to go, I concur? No, you're supposed to say, you're welcome. Touché? What the fuck is this? Well, he's thanking you.
Okay. Canada? Yeah.
Get that. Canada? Thank you.
Canada, dude. Canada.
All right, good. Good, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the two I've been to. Yeah, yeah.
So Canada and Japan. Yeah, and head could rotate behind you What was going on in Japan What was going on in Japan I was there with Faze And then we just tried to stream in morning, so pretty much drank in the morning and then passed out by three.

That's what you did every day?

Yeah.

Pretty on par.

How many days?

We were there for like a week, probably eight days.

So every day you'd wake up and get drunk at whenever you woke up, and then you'd go to

bed by 3 p.m.

Every day we'd wake up at 8.30, go to 7-Eleven, probably get some, we'd get a couple lemon

sours.

They're like, what is the percentage of a lemon sour over there?

Don't know.

11%? 9%. Wow.
9%. It's like an IPA.
Four of those? Yeah. Feeling good.
And just walking? Did you talk to any of the Japanese people? I got a couple of these. Yeah.
Oh, there's like, get the fuck out of here. Is that what it is? Do you not know about this in Japan? What is it? They don't, there's a lot of places that they don't want whites coming around.
They don't want tourists oh thank god they x you out they tell you no thank you this is a real thing you gotta be fucking they were doing it like there's one lady did it like my hand to god since you know i was like going holy they'll tell you no thank you wait wait you gotta be it's segregation like the fucking 1950s south that's why japan is so nice they really go get the fuck out of here yeah well no they don't say anything they just tell you no because they're what they're trying to communicate is they don't speak english and nobody there does they're not going to try to communicate with you so when you go there they see obviously you're a fucking white yeah and they go okay okay okay because they're saying no one's going to try to speak english to you yeah yeah we don't we can you still go in no you would why would you go past yeah i would go this back no yeah yeah you do that to me yeah it's not like i go i can do a oh no you no no no and i walk in there well the problem you'll get me a fucking cabbage stew well they'd let you in oh yeah they would assume that you might be able to finagle your way through okay now he's doing it oh no that's that's that's my bread and. So they do this.
That's interesting. They also do a thing called, we call it WPT, which is white people tax.
So you'd have tourists, you'd go to get a bill from a restaurant. Yeah.
And there'd be like other tax, tourist taxes included. What does that mean? They have a tourist tax.
If you're eating and you're not a fucking local, they tax you on top of what you've already made. Wow.
So how much money is that? It's another percentage of the bill. Wow.
Is it offensive? No. Okay.
No, no, no. What do you mean? How would it be offensive? Would they add more money? Because I'm a tourist.
Okay. Yeah, it's tourist tax.
I'm trying to squeeze a lemon out of there. That's right.
And get lemonade. That's true.
Exactly. Well, they don't serve lemonade over there, but yeah, I do understand.
Okay. Lemon sours.
excuse me lemon sours i'm sorry i've just i'm i'm i'm pea brained a little bit you know i'm pea brained too don't worry about it hey two peas in a pod what were you doing what'd you do in london tell me about london london um kind of same thing we just kind of bounce around p Yeah? Well, it's more of like I'm more of like a drinking athlete, I guess. Ah.
So you went but did you mingle with the locals there too either or no? More, more in, yeah, in London, the locals there were pretty sick. They would just come around and they, they're just always drinking.
Yeah, yeah. London's pretty mundane.
Can you give us a British accent? Did you pick anything up? Hello. Yeah.
Hello, mate. Good.
Very good. Hey, mate, what would they say? Bro? Brov.
He's right. Brov.
Brov. Hey, bro, I'm smoking a...
Oh. Yeah.
Very good. That's pretty much what they say.

Yeah.

I felt like I was in London when you said that. Yeah, sort of that.

Jolly old London.

Yeah.

Liverpool or something.

That was really good.

They call cigarettes that.

Yeah, they do.

Yeah, I know.

I live on planet Earth.

I didn't know until I was there.

Yeah, I know what they...

What?

Well, he does one.

Oh, it's great to meet you, Skech.

It's so good, right?

Welcome to London, sketch.

I'm a friend.

My name is Bean Gronto.

I'm Bean Gronto too.

Sounds like a con character.

Well, see, I do it and he does a cowboy.

He does like a little, an Asian cowboy.

I'm a friend too.

Asian cowboy?

I'm a friend too, right?

Yeah.

Look at that.

Pretty good, huh?

Giddy up.

Giddy up. That's an Asian cowboy.
That's, huh? Giddy up. Giddy up.

That's an Asian cowboy.

That's his nickname.

Giddy up.

You like Asian chicks?

Do I like Asian chicks?

Yeah.

What's your favorite?

Ethnicity.

The lady I'm talking to is a little Asian.

Ooh.

Half or full?

I don't know.

I got to investigate that a little more.

Right.

Only seen her in the dark so far.

I'm not even sure she's Asian.

She just was like stop okay stop for a second let me just please I just need to yeah recoup I've only seen her in the dark God is good God is great God is good God is great no no it's all the time And is she like loop loop? Is she like loop loop? Yeah She doesn't talk like loop loop But she has some characteristics Smaller feet A little bit of that going on We also smoked a little bit In the dark? Outside Everything was in low lighting not not pitch black yeah are you saying that she could be a guy i wouldn't be the first time there you go no no no no i feel like there you go when you there you go what no she was perfect no she's in beautiful and wait she live here in la or texas uh texas oh so you can't wait to get back to her oh well i just bring her out here sometimes she's here now um she was here no was here last love to meet her oh she was how old is she um she's my age like 24 wow she's a cutie you guys know her okay wait wait i'm sorry it's been at night no no no stop stop stop This makes no sense to me Can I just Yeah Do some investigating Yeah do it Okay thank you so much But the more you talk to them The less we can hear them I'm not gonna talk to them anymore But they did shook their heads So they've never met this person before They didn't say no Yeah So yeah So you've only seen her in the dark Okay But she's been's been out here, but no one's seen her, right?

So what's going on here, buddy?

My close friends have seen her.

Well, like, they don't live with me.

Okay, okay, okay.

So, like, people have seen her.

Yeah.

She's a real person.

This isn't, she goes to another school.

She goes to another school.

Yeah.

Oh, she goes to a different school.

Right.

Pretty much.

Across town.

Across town. Okay.
Trying to beat the allegations here. All right, so here's the deal.
You're doing a good job. You're doing a very good job.
So this girl that you're seeing now might be Asian, but have you dated many other races of girls or no? I've been around the world. Oh, you have been taking a trip? Not dating.
I mean, like, just, you know. Just hooking up.
Sharing love. Yeah, swapping a bit.
Sharing loveapping love i'm a lover not a fighter yeah yeah well naked wrestling yeah naked wrestling yeah i like the whites why is that he does he only dates white girls is that true exclusively no i thought you had a aren't you are you are you married no not he got out of a long-term relationship i get out of a long term with a woman who was asian okay but now since then he's gone real white i'm just going on a white tour right now yeah so like mostly just like up in washington dc or something well there are whites all over the country yeah the good news i've discovered we're everywhere you gotta get the real ones though oh there's real ones up north well there's different types of i mean like oh explain to me the white So you can give me the categories Cajun, hillbilly Tan Not tan Kind of Asian Could be Asian Would fat be one? There are fat white chicks Exactly I've seen that show 600 pound life Love Love that show You like show, 600 Pound Life. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.

Love.

Love that show.

Love that show.

You like that show?

Love.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Although I've been watching 600 Pound Life, Where Are They Now?

And you know what they should call it?

600 Pound Life, they're still 600 pounds.

Yeah.

Where are they now?

They're still fat.

Right.

They never lose the weight.

How could you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

600 pounds? Yeah, yeah. That's two of you.
That's so much to lose. Dude, that's so rude.
No, it's not. It is.
It's a little rude. It's okay.
You're built like the lower half of a snowman, but you're okay. What's up, brother? Yes, Pop.
Okay. Very good, dude.
Very good. Yeah very good dude what's next on the tour for you where are you going after LA are you going to go back to Houston probably for a Texans game are you going on the field they put you on the field I can probably yes manager's right get that thing moved.
Yeah, let's get that shit on the road. That's right.
Get him on the fucking field. Have you met any of the Texans? Yeah, I've met Stroud.
I've met Tank Dell, John Menchie, Stefan Diggs. Ooh, Stefan Diggs, the man.
Yeah, they're all pretty sick. I'm a Bears fan.
We play you guys in week two. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Dude, you should go to the game.
Invite me. You want to go to the game? Yes, I do.
All right. We got extra box.

We're on the field.

We got to be on the field.

We tell the manager.

We got to.

No, you don't come.

No, no, no.

Oh, we can make that happen.

You would never want to go to a football game

in a million years.

Ever.

Ever.

I've been to them.

When?

When I was a kid.

I had a friend named Tyler Phillips.

He was blind in one eye.

Did I ever tell you about Tyler Phillips?

Who are you? Theo Vaughn right now? No. So I was friends with a guy named Tyler Phillips.
He was blind in one eye. Did I ever tell you about Tyler Phillips? Who are you,

Theo Vaughn right now?

No.

So I was friends

with a guy named

Tyler Phillips, right?

And the reason why

I stopped hanging out with him

because when I spent the night,

I spent the night

at his house once, right?

And he slept on his

left side of his face.

But it's the right eye

where he's missing the eye.

And it just opened

while we were sleeping.

Yeah.

And I was looking at him and he opened his eyes And he goes Are you awake Tyler? And he was like Sleeping And it freaked me out That was it That was it What does that have to do With the football game? Yeah Where did that go? Let me finish I'm not even fucking done dude. I'm leading you.
All right. So my dad, right? Tyler Phillips' dad was rich.
Yeah. So he goes, he's going to my dad and goes, would you like to see we have, you know what I mean, box seating at the- Chargers.
No, Minnesota Viking. Because the one we lived in Minnesota.
Oh, that was in Minnesota. Yeah, yeah.
Oh. And I remember my dad and I went to the fucking Vikings game in these box seats And my dad was just Dead? Asleep the whole fucking time It was super embarrassing Who cares? Yeah but it's like we're in the box seats There's like other people People are cheering And my fucking old Korean dad And I'm asleep It was fucking embarrassing He needed rest He worked really hard Yeah took a lot of time.
So I did see that game, and I saw a couple of Chargers games, all right? So I've been there. You have? Yeah, yeah.
I just, I like being invited to things. Well, let's invite you, but you won't go.
Fine, I won't go, but I would like to get invited. Right, that's kind of the whole point.
Love to have you. Love to have you.
I love to be there. But it is nice to get invited, right? I don't want to get invited.
We don't get invited to parties anymore. Like, he gets to go to these cool fucking parties we don't get to go to anything when's the last party i was invited to well you that you know you've been invited to parties when i don't know at russell crowe's house that was that was because of the thing yeah but you were were you invite was that a party get together no it was it's a party get together what's the difference between a party what's the difference between a party and a get together everybody knows there's a big difference between a party and a get together give me the difference because i don't i don't know a party is oh so there's got to be a dj and a get together is like okay so i've never been invited to a party i've only gone to get i've never been to a party where there's a DJ at somebody's house.

Fuck that.

Yeah, you have.

That's such a lie.

Absolutely.

I've been places with you

where there's DJs.

Who?

Fucking Whitney always has someone

doing a DJ.

Yeah, that's somebody on a fucking iPhone.

That's what a fucking DJ is.

Yeah.

Someone with an iPhone going,

here's my plane lands.

That's what a DJ is.

I hate that, by the way.

What's your party music you play?

Excuse me? Don, Japanese I think I'm tuning Japanese I like older music He likes eclectic shit What music do you listen to? I listen to a little bit of everything. What are we talking, what's on the playlist? Okay, open your phone right now and show me the top four save songs on your, on your, whatever it is.
You got a bite, can you show me, let me talk about it. Oh yeah, hit him his phone.
Yeah. Because I want to know, what do you, do you Spotify or Apple? What do you do? Spotify and SoundCloud.
Okay, let me see your top liked shit on Spotify. I also want to see what the fuck you're wearing.
I just realized your shorts. Can you see your shorts real quick? They're shorts underneath.
They're the things underneath the

shorts. You know, they're like the, what do you call them? I love those

things. Oh.
Yeah, it's like

And it's matching the shirt. Yeah, it's dope.

Oh, that's

pretty cool. That's a cool look, dude.

Kat's got good style. Yeah, you got good style.

Kat's got good style. Yeah.
So does

the manager. So does your boy.
Everyone's got good style.

Yeah, you have a cool crew here. Look at this.
Yeah, yeah. He brought the crew.
Are you from LA, the manager? You are? Yeah, you're born and raised here. Love an LA manager, man.
These guys, they're good. They are good.
Smooth. They're good.
This guy's good to you. They all look like Mike Young.
They all do look like Mike Young. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They do. They do.
It's funny. It's good to have a handsome manager.
Be careful of him around your girl, though. Handsome manager, man.
That's why I get ugly rep.

I always have ugly rep.

Hey, Kyle is my girl.

God bless.

Love it.

Okay, you want my top four liked?

Top four liked on...

This is sketches.

Top four liked on Spotify.

Okay.

Black Kings, Salswaka.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Can you play a bit?

We're going to blank it out, but play it just so we can hear it in the mic.

Oi. whoa whoa i like can you play a bit we're gonna blank it out but play it just so we can hear it in the mic put it up to the mic more yeah yeah Hey, hey, that shit hits.
It is. What's number two? That shit fucking hits.
That's called post drive by music. Give me another one.
Yeah. We'll dance to each one.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. Love ain't real.
Dying to live. Let's go.
Living to die.

Push.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Dude.

Hmm.

I hear everything you're saying.

Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, hey, hey.

Damn, this is bangers.

Bangers, dude.

Oh, my God.

Two bangers at wall.

That's a party.

Yeah.

Is there other styles?

That's a party.

See, now that is a party.

That is a party.

But is there any other styles? Any other styles? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a party.
See, now that is a party. That is a party.
But is there any other styles?

Any other styles?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, other styles.

They seem similar.

I usually go through a feed.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, you want me to go through?

Yeah.

You want to give me one?

Hit us with something random.

Something faster or something random.

No, hit us with something random.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just something that's like,

we wouldn't expect it from you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is just one of my favorite songs.

Okay, let's do it. Oh.
You dropped the bomb on me. Yeah.
The gap is. This is a great song.

Oh, shit.

I know this, Dan.

Oh, shit.

Here we are.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Yeah, dude.

I had to hurt my back a little bit. That's good.

That's good.

Yeah, yeah.

My knees are crocky.

Yeah, I'm hurting.

Very good.

Very good.

Eclectic styles.

Let me ask you something.

Let's get... What's it going to take to get you a new phone? To get me a new phone? Look at that thing.
Put that thing up. Show it to camera.
Yeah. What's going on, dude? You getting fights with it? Yeah.
Just running a low budget right now. No chance.
No, I'm just kidding. But like, I just don't, I don't, if I break things, I don't really get them fixed.
You don't. What version of the, is that, what version? That one? It's a new one.
It's just shattered. Yeah.
It's probably two years old. Yeah, but it's all in pieces.
We got to get you something new. Not a bad...
Well, you know, I bet you the reason why you don't get a new phone is because it's updated. I'm always scared that...
Not scared, but I have to download all the stuff. Oh, redo the thing again? Redo all the stuff.
Yeah, Apple makes you do the thing again where you got to transfer it to the phone again. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I actually like that. It feels like a new start whenever i go get a new one no actually you i think you're right i think they made it easier they have made it a little i think they made it easier yeah yeah yeah but it's still i don't i i i i don't like getting the new phone every time because i know people that do that you know yeah you gotta use that you get iCloud and then you gotta drop it and yeah i'll wait till i need it but then this is a call you need it you know what i mean yeah it's time do you's time.
Do you get nudies on your direct message? Ooh, a little nudie DMs? A little bad boy nudie DMs? Lately, it's a lot of pictures of me. A lot of, so people send you pictures of you? No, we're just people trolling.
But yeah, I mean, I get people more trolling stuff. You get a lot of trolls right now.
Yeah. Fuck that.
Post what I call post-y day. Now, does those hurt your feelings or no? No.
I mean, I just click it, pass it, and then I kind of just live my life. Well, let me tell you something.
That's great. Greatest piece of advice.
What a healthy outlook. Fuck all that shit.
Fuck all that shit. Fuck all those people that say dumb shit, whatever they're saying.
Fuck all those people and fuck all the shit they say they obviously are jealous or they're obviously uh fans because they wouldn't take the time to reach out if they weren't so that's so so fuck them if they hate you um and keep doing that because i think that's the best move you can do with the worst time you know what here's the worst kind of messages i get i'll tell you the worst messages lately i mean i know no you don't oh there's a new one oh they'll go dude i'm such a huge fan dude and fuck all those haters right right and i'm like in my mind i'm like what are you talking about so now in my mind i'm like there's so many haters just say that you like me you know i mean he's like i've been reading your comments man don't even read that shit i go how many are there now now you're gonna look yeah yeah you know i hate it it's just give me the compliment don't go you know i mean this other stuff is out there i mean look at mine's the most untantalizing let's see what this is ready let's go let's jump in the the request folder all right here we go ready uh cameo just dm me the app look at that hey hey hey andrew give us a try would you like to give us a try nope don't first one is an ad uh yep dude they keep dude you know what it's so funny about cameo they start sending me a hot chick will do it oh yeah like the prettiest girl and she's like hey i just want you know i'm a big fan will you do cameo it's like they trick me what i know you're ready they know they know you're ready this is so bad there's like literally nothing in it's really funny there's like nothing in here yeah hey bro when are you gonna come to the uk can i have 50 can i have 50 andrea jen's calling me should i pick it up uh yeah no no no because he no no because he won't know who that is she's very nice though Andrea Jin she's a comic she'll pick up a picture she's a good looking lady well she's loop loop that's who the character is based on no she is yeah well they all are well we're all brothers right. So you say, what's up, brother? And you should do an Asian what's up, sister.
Yeah. What's up, sister? There.
See, that came out naturally. I don't want to know about it.
So he goes up, you go down. What's up, sister? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good.
What's up, sister? Would you like that? What's up, brother? What's up, sister? It's pretty good. You know, dude, can we hang out? Yeah, I'm down.
Like if I go to Texas, we got to hang out with this guy. Don't you like to sleep a lot? No, wait, wait.
I'm sorry. Where would you learn information like that? TikTok and stuff like that.
He knows who the fuck you are. Oh.
Yeah, I sleep a lot. You're acting like that i'd take talking stuff like that oh he knows he knows who the fuck you are oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you know you're yeah i sleep a lot you're acting like that's a out-of-pocket thing to say yep but your nickname is a slept king what the fuck i know but i'll tell you i'll tell you why i sleep a lot i know why it's that 285 getting you i know what it you know what it is? No, you don't even know.
I just discovered it. Well, sometimes you're a little depressy-weshy.
That's not why. Well, sometimes you've eaten too many meals.
That's good. That's one.
Yeah, yeah. Sometimes.
Oh, God, I got to tell you. You're staying up too late playing video games.
Do you stay up till four or five in the morning playing video games? No, just mostly kind of just't sleep and then i don't really sleep too much but like i i'm like i'm stay up just chilling how many hours a night are you getting of sleep probably four or something let's get you know what you should do next time you're three in the morning you can't sleep call me let's chat okay you know i mean let's chat with each other check in just roll over yeah that'd be that's right you're right there oh yeah You know what I would like to do with That's very good Let's FaceTime each other We'll be in the band We'll be in the You'll be in your bed in Houston I'll be in my bed in LA We FaceTime And side to side And let's do like Let's whisper goodnight to each other Okay Would that be nice? Yeah I'll go A little love in there Mmm God wow You look like you got soft lips He does I just got so uncomfortable You look like you're a good kisser Yeah pretty good But you know that's how dare you too Hey it's like a You know what your lips look nice Thank you I'm actually blushing Yeah, it's wild. Yeah, that's how dare you, too, you know? Hey, it's like a...
Yeah. Yeah, you know what? Your lips look nice.
Thank you. He's blushing.
I'm actually blushing. Yeah, it's wild.
Yeah, it's wild. It looks like he drank alcohol.
He's pitching a tent. Stand up.
Check him. Uh-uh.
What if I was hard right now? Oh, my God, that'd be so embarrassing. We wouldn't be able to tell.
Don't worry. Dude, you're so on it today.
Thank you, you sir Fucking the sumo joke was great

Yeah yeah I'm 280 that was good

Small dick now

I love it

All over the fucking place

Tell me why you can't sleep

I have sleep apnea

What's the fuck

What

Yeah you do Yeah you do What what You definitely have sleep No but here's what the deal dude You know what sleep apnea is Uh yeah like where you can't sleep No you Yeah sketch that is right That is right I'm gonna know where you're asleep And then you can't breathe you stop breathing you stop breathing and then you just kind of wake up yeah sometimes you go yeah and i gasp for air it's the first time you ever laughed i like yeah it gives you joy when i struggled for breath hey yeah sometimes yeah no i'm just kidding no so i what so what i do but what's great about my situation is so i'll just set my fucking clock at 3 p.m why don't you just get a sleep apnea machine i won't i refuse get one we'll buy him one no i refuse yeah what is that a sleep apnea machine that's that goes on your you want one of you want one of those yeah i'll take two of them what that's a that's a wiener machine one for me and one for my friend do you want a wiener machine sure we have like a hundred of them how much was it i don't know they gave hundreds of dollars but you can have that for free okay let's go okay have you used a wiener machine um um they used to call me the wiener machine yeah that's true high school so i'll tell you why we can sleep so what i do now is i dude come on dude that's insane what you need is that your is that what that's yeah i'm not wearing one of those that's what you need because joe coy wears that i'm not wearing no he does yeah he does oh wow he showed me i'm not wearing that okay so here's the two so i i wake up later so that when i wake up from a sleep apnea breath thing i go back to bed i go since i, since I don't have any time to wake up, I can just relax and go, I'll just sleep whenever. Right? And then here's another second thing I've been doing is I've been controlling the ants.
Oh, you got control of the ants finally. I don't know if you guys know this, but because of the heat, there's a war.
And I'm telling you right now i'm winning it and i'll tell you what i'm doing i got three things i got three devils what do you got no the dirt devil oh i get it all right you have three vacuums i bought three of them you could have just bought one and used it a lot no no no i need three you position them yes so they're in they're in post he sets them up like a podcast exactly right one straight on two i got three of them right i got probably 3 000 of the hotels and hotels yeah yeah right the traps right right they have the sweet juice on it i know it you know what right gets me sometimes and there's just hundreds of bottles of raid and so you're raiding your whole house yeah and i'm having a war and i am winning this world war i bet you are and sometimes you know what i've been doing lately what crushing it with my finger you're a bad boy yeah i crush each one of them and i make a comment what do you say you want to fuck around with my fucking thick thumb or whatever i don't know what i go no i go what that sounds right fuck you you know what I mean because they're strong no yeah they can hold 16 times their weight or whatever I googled it it's still 1,000 if you smash it just briefly their little legs still go like that I gotta get them out i get it right so have you thought about stop hiring someone no i will not oh yeah so look at that that's a fucking that's a building i know that's a leaf but that's like a human being lifting a building it's like it's yeah yeah or like whatever weights 20 times their weight they can lift exactly so you know so my point being is you know you're 200000 times its weight. No, I'm just saying like, you know what I mean? Can I just finish my thing or no? Please.
Alright. So at night, when I feel like the war is won.
Are you talking about the dick machines right now? Yeah. No, no, I'm talking about the ants.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once I've and there's no ants inside, I can go to bed.
So that's when the piece comes into play. That's when the piece comes into play.
I hate them so much. Don't you hate ants? I don't really get them.
And if I did, I would hire someone to come in and clean them up. Okay, good.
That's your thing. You buy three Dirt Devils, you stay up all night.
Yeah. Oh, but the Dirt Devils is great because it makes you feel like an X-Man.
You know what I mean? Like, I'm Storm or whatever. You know what I mean? And they go, what the fuck? You know what I mean? And they get sucked in.
sucked in you know i mean and i love seeing them in the little fucking what do you call it the little chamber a little window there you know they don't know what the fuck they hit them oh this is a little you suck and torture yeah yeah they fuck it fucks them up dude the lee dynasty yeah don't fuck with the lee dynasty don't fuck with the lee dynasty yeah sketch have you lot of fun. Well, I thank you for coming on the show.
That was so fun. Thanks for having me.
Do you want to leave us with any words of wisdom from Sketch? And do you want to impart anything on the crew before we let you go? Thanks for having me. I don't know.
Probably stay away from Lupu. Yeah.
Stay away from Lupu. Get the name right, Chachi.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Loop Loop, you fuck.
Loop Loop. Hey, yeah.
Loop, loop. STML.
Yeah, yeah. We're turning memory loss.
I don't know if you're sexually attracted to me or we're friends. No, you just turned me on from a distance.
Wow. That's a good compliment.
From a distance. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It looks good from afar. Yeah.
Yeah. You get close, it's different.
It's more the sense. I'm not really too...

No, I just fuck with you.

No, no.

I love you, dude.

You're a good girl.

Dude, you know, you're a white version of me.

Yeah.

Kind of.

It's pretty sick.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, this is who I was at 25.

If you give me a mustache and...

You'll be able to grow one one day.

One day?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm working on it.

You shave?

I shaved like a month ago or something.

Holy shit.

That's like you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That thing took him 52 years to get on his face.

Let's get him into a movie.

I'd love on it. You shave? I shave like a month ago or something.
Holy shit. That's like you.
Yeah. That thing took him 52 years to get on his face.
Let's get him in a movie. I'd love to.
I'd love to get him in a movie. If him and I ever do a movie, you're in our movie.
Okay. You'll do it? What type of movie are we talking about? Action.
Action, baby. Action comedy.
Hey, look at that. Yeah, yeah.
We'll negotiate with the manager. He's right there.
Yeah, yeah. We'll get him a good role.
No, I think the role is already You're in a cage No No no no You want us to unleash The fucking fury Yeah Right Unleash the virus Yeah Why does it have to always Go back to COVID It's hard Yeah yeah yeah That's over Some people don't think so And now it's back sketch as COVID well give him a round of applause that was fucking great thank you so much appreciate you just look into that camera and just say thank you for being a bad friend just fire right yeah whatever thank you for being a bad friend love that love it you know what I can't stand on fucking when i'm scrolling videos of the last day with their pet oh i hate this i had to fucking swipe so fast i hate it i don't want to see that it's always a white woman well with a dog in her hand yeah and i know what video it is because they start crying, right? And then you look at the dog and the dog is just barely, you know what I mean? The dog is like, whatever they're doing. I saw one of those split screens on TikTok.
It was one girl with her final day with the dog. Yeah.
And the other one, an Asian guy eating it. There it is.
That's that. No.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't stand those videos.
I can't stand those videos. I saw, saw you know what the worst one was i saw a guy and it looked like a beautiful video of just him with his dog yeah but then at the very end he goes i'll miss you it's our final days and i was like oh my oh my god i can't do it i want another one is um pet negligence what what is this oh like people leaving in the car and stuff no it's Oh, no.
I don't want to hear. It's going to...
No, no. I'm just going to tell you.
All right. I'm just telling you what I don't like.
Yeah. All right.
It's like whenever it's like, Fluffy, Fluffy, Fluffy, and then an alligator eats it. Oh, yeah.
I'm like, what is Fluffy doing around an alligator? Why are you at the lake? Yeah, yeah. Fucking put a fucking leash.
Yeah, get a leash. If you know there's alligators, you put a leash.
you put a leash we had a scare dude i told you when i was back home my dog we had to take her to the emergency uh emergency vet yeah she was puking and shitting blood which oh no cubs yeah i got so scared no we had to take my dog to the vet because she was throwing up blood in the middle of the night and then she was um shitting blood i got real scared oh wow when was this in chicago just just last week and then what happened we took her to the vet they ran all the tests they ran the x-ray they did blood work all that stuff they think that she might have eaten something strange and it got into the lining of her stomach oh no we couldn't find out what it was so then we changed her diet and did that whole thing with the rice and the thing. And then three days later, she was okay.

Oh, thank God.

Dude.

Thank the Lord.

In the middle of the night, I'm cleaning up blood out of my mom's carpet and I'm like bawling.

I'm just bawling, cleaning up blood.

I'm like-

Are you really crying?

Oh, yeah.

Hard.

I was so scared.

I thought she was going to die.

Wow.

She threw up blood all over the place.

Incredible.

I was like, oh God, please don't be something very serious.

I was panicking.

Also, not cheap to take your dog to the vet.

Thank you. It threw up blood all over the place.
Incredible. I was like, oh, God, please don't be something very serious.

I was panicking.

Also, not cheap to take your dog to the vet.

Yeah.

Oh, my God. It's insane.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Do you have pet insurance?

Oh, no.

What?

You can get that?

Yeah.

You're not going to have money.

I just don't put cash down.

Money.

Look at a big money guy every day.

No, not big money.

I'm just saying, like, what is it? Well, come on. Guess how much it was.
Like a spleen? Guess how much it was for- Two grand. Huh? Spleen's two grand, no? A spleen is two grand? I don't know how much it is.
Buying it on the black market? Yeah, yeah. X-rays and blood work.
What was how much? 500. Wow.
How much? 1,200. How much? Two grand.
How much? Four grand.

Get out.

No, no, it's okay.

What is it?

$1,600.

Wow.

I was like, oh my God.

Yeah, that's expensive.

For an x-ray and a blood and a thing.

I know.

That's what I spend on Postmates every day.

Trust me, I know.

Here's another thing that scares me.

My brother, Steve, he'll send me photos of like two frogs no i'm not kidding you i'm not fucking kidding you dissecting them no no he has two frogs and you can then he'll zoom out and there's like an aquarium that he had built oh no i don't want to he's like you see you know charlie and frankie you know i just got them like in my mind they. Yeah.
My brother's not going to be able to keep two frogs alive. No.
It's like, why does he do that? He has a new dog now. Well, what's the lifespan of a frog? Yeah, what is the lifespan of a frog? Of an average frog.
He's got a dog? Yeah. One day to 30 years.
Wow. That's all life.
That's huge difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's all life.

Yeah, that's us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Here's another thing

that I discovered

in Chinatown.

They fucking paint

and they sell turtles, right?

Oh, I love that.

They're painting their shell.

It's like you paint your nails.

Yeah, but the paint's so toxic

they die.

Yeah, but...

Look at this beautiful...

Is this a thing that's going on? That's i saw turtle painting what is that painted turtle yeah it's kind of like when you see someone dye all that that is beautiful why do they dye their dog's hair you know people do that you see that yeah what's that about i don't like that i don't like that at all yeah there's no way the dog likes that they don't like it i don't want to be it doesn't want to be dyed or like poodles where they shave the sides but they get the back back puffy like no one gives a fuck cut it out yeah yeah unless they want to get an award you can get awards for those yeah the dog shows yeah i don't like the dog oh my god this is the painted painted donkey it's a painted donkey as a zebra oh my god Mexico is awesome yeah and his fucking buttholes all blasted out probably for no no reason. No, there's a reason.

Why did you assume it was Mexico?

It said Mexico.

It said Mexico on it.

You're the only fuckers that do that.

Zoom in.

That box says Mexico.

Yeah.

It says Mexico and says tequila on the hat behind it.

Yeah, yeah.

How much more obvious could it be?

Yeah.

If we can make the announcement now, if you'd like to. We are, as of 2025, going to fire all three of you.
Yeah. Finding new blood.
So, people at home, if you would like to be a new blood and replace one of these three guys, please- Carlos at the booth. Carlos at the booth.
Carlos at the booth at gmail.com. Yeah.
Please send an email over why you think you should replace one of these morons at Carlos in the booth at the at the booth carlos in the booth thank you fancy that's another reason you're getting fired carlos in the booth at gmail.com i have a side note question if i may you always may thank you so um i've been hiking i have been hiking far can i ask go ahead you hiked once no you hike many many times okay and i've been hiking. I have been hiking far.
Can I ask? Go ahead. You hiked once? No.
You hike many? Many times. Okay.
And I've been eating the same, but I'm not losing any weight. What's going on? Let's talk about what you're eating.
No, I'm eating the same. Eating the same what? Bread.
The whole bread? The whole time? While you're hiking? Well, I've been like- You'll eat a loaf of bread while you hike? No, no, no. What I'm saying is I'm eating as much as I have been eating.
And that's the problem. Right.
But then I'm like, well, then I'll just incorporate long hikes every day. You have to change the diet and exercise.
It's both. It's not just one.
So what you're saying to me is if I eat the same and no matter how much I exercise, I'm still going to be fat? Let me give you something that's going to blow your mind. Most of the time, it's all diet.

It's all diet.

Almost always.

Then don't exercise.

It's not going to kill you to not,

but it's going to kill you.

But it's not going to do anything.

But if you keep eating

at the same rate,

it will kill you.

Okay.

My wife's boss died at 93 years old.

He never exercised a day in his life.

It's all the...

But he ate right.

He ate great.

He just ate healthy and that's it. So I tried to do the all meat thing Very difficult It's gross Yeah All just meat Just beef all day Yeah It's gross It's pretty difficult Your shits stink They do stink Yeah And it gurgles my stomach Yeah you get gurgly burgly Yeah yeah You can't have that I'm just trying different things But it's you know, I love the bread.
Let's do the diet of the Blue Zones, like legumes, a lot of beans. Are you eating beans? No.
You've got to eat beans. Why? Everybody in the Blue Zones eats them.
Okay. The Blue Zone diet, see, a lot of these guys, it's well.
Give me the Blue Zone. It's a lot of plant-based.
Fruits, vegetables, beans, tofu, lentils, nuts, seeds, rich with disease-fighting nutrients are the cornerstone of their diets. When they eat meat, fish, eggs, dairy, they treat it as a condiment rather than the feature well then dane's wrong who's wrong dane who is that cook oh the cook is wrong he was like you just eat six months i've only been eating meat maybe it works for him so i'm like oh should i do it yeah yeah trust me well that's the problem he's a cook not a chef you got to listen to it oh no he's dane chef dane chef yeah yeah have you met him him i've never met dain chef oh i know dain chef well i'll introduce you that's the that's the issue though we should be eating more of that oh okay and treat meat like a side item not the main court not the main star so have a little bit of meat but have a lot more of the other stuff okay what was that air one granola they have a bunch of this stuff no i go to i have air one

granola at home what do you want me to do with it throw it away oh i throw it away why that's

filled with sugar and bullshit throw that shit away can you get like seeds and nuts and stuff

from air one so here's the deal like it's cool you want to really set it up yeah go through a

blue zone diet like an actual grocery list and buy it for him and see if it works for a week

this is all i need this is what me i need you forever yeah but aside from you okay what i need is somebody to go this is all you're eating today yes let's get you up and i'm always like i'll go okay i'll just eat this right i don't know where to go for that that's what he needs we not a private chef no no not a chef but just someone that know that's a nutritionist i think you'd help i think we help change the diet yeah it'll get us over the edge yeah don't you guys think so i think so i think we get a little diet change okay and that's gonna be it yeah tell me tell me what you ate today let's go through it oh it's one with the kin's kin's chicken kin's chicken or's so good. It's called...
Have him bring it up. What is it called? Kinsic...
Wait. City Chicken? No, that's...
Did I say City? I didn't say City, dog. Yeah.
Here. It's called Kismet.
Kismet. Kismet.
Like a romantic meetup. Yeah.
Kismet Chicken. Yeah.
So good, dude. Okay.
Look at that. Look at that Yeah rotisserie chicken good for you Yeah So you had What did you have though So I had that That meal Did you eat the bread Yeah I ordered two breads Right you don't So let's stop that part Just eat the chicken and the veg I know the bread is so good though I'm sure it is With the hummus Imus.
I'm sure. Yeah, so I ate that and that was really good.

Okay, that's all you had.

Yeah, look at that.

You should eat there.

You know where that is?

No, it looks good.

But what I would suggest is smaller meals.

Just a bunch of smaller meals.

That's what they say.

I don't know.

How about we try him fruit till noon?

You know this guy?

Fruit till noon.

There's a guy that only eats fruit till noon.

You eat fruit till noon and then you eat a meal.

There he is. And he looks great.
Okay. Fruit till noon.
Is's a guy that only eats fruit till noon. You eat fruit till noon and then you eat a meal.
There he is.

And he looks great.

Okay.

Fruit till noon.

Is that acai?

I don't know if that's the guy.

That's not the guy.

I don't like that guy.

Bobby doesn't wake up till 3 p.m.

Yeah, so he's eating fruit till noon.

Oh, here's another thing that I think is the reason why I've been gaining weight.

Is acai balls.

Sugar.

Yeah.

A lot of sugar.

And there's this one, this is my favorite one,

but I think it's too much, it's too sweet.

And I've been eating maybe one or two of them a day.

Don't eat.

With the peanut butter and with all the fruits in it too

and the granola.

There's so many, it's so much.

It's so sweet.

You don't need it.

It's so good, but I don't think that's the problem.

Yeah.

What about?

And I think I have,

I don't know if I have to cut this out,

but I have an issue. What? Black got black toe yeah let me see you can't see because i covered it with fucking toenail polish how did you get black toe repeated trauma yeah i hit it and then it won't heal it's been six months it's black It's not gout, dude.
What is the medieval? What are you talking about? My college roommate had gout. Really? Yeah.
Yeah, you can get it. Anyway, it's not nail fungus.
Let's move on. Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Yeah! Woo-hoo!

Yeah!