Keep Sketch Away From Loop Loop

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Speaker 1 You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots.

Speaker 1 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 You two or something. We're bad friends.
I love you just the way you are. Well, I'll get do it again.
I love you just the way you are. I love you just the way you are.
You now remember this guy? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did he sing for

Speaker 1 the Doobie Brothers?

Speaker 1 He was a solo artist. What's his name? Aaron Neville.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's black. Yeah, black.
He wears Chelsea jerseys, too. That's exactly right.

Speaker 1 So we got a guest in today, ladies and gentlemen. Sketch.
Sketch. Kyle.
Sure. Kyle? Sketch is here.
Kylie. Yes, sir.
Kylie. Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1 Hey, Sketch. Thank you.

Speaker 1 He just learned about

Speaker 1 there. It is.
Hey, that's the worst

Speaker 1 unintentional meme. It's incredible.
What do you mean? You had pro athletes do it. Despite partner? Yes.
Deskpop bear. Yeah.
Dude, dude,

Speaker 1 you do it. What's up, brother? What's up, brother? God, it's Aaron.
I love you.

Speaker 1 I'm going to watch. Yeah, yeah.
Give me a little exit there. And I mean, how did that become a viral thing?

Speaker 1 I was just playing with my buddy, and we were having like golf. I just don't know.
Because I've tried to thought, I've been trying to think of catchphrases.

Speaker 1 And what's up, brother, just kind of flew by in my mind, you know? Well, that's it even like, it was not even like funny or anything, too.

Speaker 1 It's more of like I just threw up a finger and then it turned into like an inside. No, it's incredible.
Yeah, yeah. Well, he's trying to get a catchphrase.
Can you make up one for him?

Speaker 1 Because you were good enough to make up how about this. How about keep it loose, lady? No.
No.

Speaker 1 No. Keep it loose, lady.
Keep it loose, lady, and you do a little hole like this? I liked it. Yeah.
Keep it loose, lady. Yeah, keep it a little lady.
Maybe

Speaker 1 city chicken or something. Yeah, yeah.
Ooh, city chicken. What? City chicken.
City chicken, what? Your catchphrase could be city chicken.

Speaker 1 What's the hand gesture?

Speaker 1 Double C. Oh, right.
Double C.

Speaker 1 Just like the Crips? Yeah, yeah. You already got a little bit of a check.
I think it needs a third thing. I'll try throwing an accent on it.
All right, so what? What a city chicken? City chicken.

Speaker 1 No, no, no.

Speaker 1 No. How about city chicken?

Speaker 1 No. No, no.

Speaker 1 Jesus. And rice.
Are you having tea? Well, we get there or something. What is it?

Speaker 1 I'll have it. Unbelievable.
Friendly fire. What? Friendly fire.
Friendly fire. Orange chicken.
That's my.

Speaker 1 You're city chicken. I'm orange chicken.
Well, are there other catchphrases that you're known for? Or is that it?

Speaker 1 There's other things I'm known for, but not catchphrases.

Speaker 1 Well, no, you're video gaming.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, that.
Well, this is what's interesting. Bobby is old

Speaker 1 and loves video games. I love video games.
And you're young and you love video games. This is the meeting of the world, except he's more into sports gaming and you're more into

Speaker 1 cozy gaming. Yeah, yeah.
You know about cozy gaming? What's cozy gaming?

Speaker 1 Well, you've never heard of cozy gaming, bro? Do you play like half naked or something? Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, cozy games are like Stardew Valley farming simulation, like just cozy, right? Oh, like farming simulator. Yeah, relaxing games.

Speaker 1 He likes looking. Are you squinting like that? Oh, no, I just get

Speaker 1 like I get fog in my eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but that's the look that you do when you take a

Speaker 1 yeah, it is. Yeah, so what do you look like when you take a that, or even worse? Well, I usually kind of put both my feet up on a seat.
Yeah, let me, let me see, let me see your face.

Speaker 1 Oh, nice. Oh, nice.

Speaker 1 That's very nice. You guys both have you have both the same eyes.
You do know that, right? Yeah, what are you doing? You're mocking and squinting. I don't know if it's Asian or Down syndrome.
Yours?

Speaker 1 Yeah, what are we both doing? I don't know. Is it Asian or Down syndrome? A little bit of both.
Hey,

Speaker 1 it's a little bit of both for you. Yeah, yeah.
But no, he's into cozy gaming. He likes, Bob likes

Speaker 1 low stakes,

Speaker 1 long-term, like long-play games. He likes marathon game, or it takes you months.
Where you grind. Grind.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, I like that. You like grinding?

Speaker 1 Grinding? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sometimes.

Speaker 1 Talk about like

Speaker 1 getting on someone or something. Yeah.
What did you say? Getting on somebody. No, not once a month.
That's not what I mean.

Speaker 1 He means putting in the work. Putting in the work.
Like, you know, like collecting mushrooms or whatever it might be. You collect mushrooms?

Speaker 1 What stops up? Not in my real life.

Speaker 1 You think I go out and get portobello mushrooms in the forest that does sound

Speaker 1 yeah like you eat them for yourself

Speaker 1 no no like in some games like in skyrim like there's a

Speaker 1 are you okay i'm good lean back

Speaker 1 can you hear me can you hear me i'm sorry why am i being too aggressive yeah what are you doing i'm sorry dude welcome welcome hey this is thanks for coming asian on asian crime here yeah wow

Speaker 1 so you're a quarter what are you is there a percentage of you that's asian um no people think i'm asian yeah yeah

Speaker 1 like uh hispanic or you're more like hispanic yeah yeah yeah. Would you say you're more like Hispanic or you are more Hispanic? I more emulate Hispanics.
Ah.

Speaker 1 Are you full white, though?

Speaker 1 Pretty much. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Have you done your 23andMe or whatever? No, I haven't.

Speaker 1 I need to. Wait, wait.
I'm a little, I mean, like, I'm a little darker. I don't think so.

Speaker 1 I don't think so. I think you look, you're just white with a little bit of tan.
It's true. Yeah, white with tan.
Yeah, yeah. I've been outside a lot.
No, you're white. I don't see the tan.

Speaker 1 You don't see his tan at all? No. Yeah, he's a little tan.
Well, I have to know what he looks like in the winter. Oh, right.
I don't know winter, Kai.

Speaker 1 colors? What are your colors in the winter? My colors in the winter, I can get pretty white. Okay, good.
Yeah, okay, good. It's pretty.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do you ever tan your nuts? Tan my nuts.
Yeah, yeah. No? Okay.
Do other things. You try.
Whoa, wait, wait, wait. Stop.
This is the shit I want to get into. He loves this, yeah.
Tippy-tap.

Speaker 1 That's it. You tippy-tap your nuts.
A little nuts. Throw them to each side of the leg.
Yeah. Is it your own nuts or somebody else's?

Speaker 1 That's what happens when, if you cozy game, like if you're playing with your pants off or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Your nuts start to get stuck to your side of your thigh. Yep.

Speaker 1 Throw them in each Yep. We used to call that the batwing.

Speaker 1 The batwing. Yeah, if your nut gets stuck to your thigh and you spread it, it looks like a batwing.
Okay. You never done that? You never done that? The flying squirrel?

Speaker 1 It's called a bat cave when you get it stuck to your gooch. That's true.
Okay. That's a little batcave.
See, that's something. I write that down.
That's something I'm learning now. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 That cave? Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 And when it gets stuck under there, you can yell, Alfred, and it'll unhang. Oh, the butler or whatever his name is.
Yes, well, the Wienerler. Yeah, yeah.
Did you get pussy at Butler? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Did Alfred ever get pussy in the game? In the movies? You know what the problem is? What? Bruce Wayne kept him so away from everything. You know, Alfred didn't have time to get ass.

Speaker 1 But one time he did. When? In what movie? I'll tell you what movie.
When did he get ass? I'll tell you where he got ass. He got ass in the Dark Knight.
When? I'll tell you when, dude.

Speaker 1 Will you just let me fucking talk, dude? I don't like being rushed by you. Why are you rushing me today, dude?

Speaker 1 All right, sorry. My bad.
That was my fault. Thank you.

Speaker 1 That was my aggression. So go ahead.
I apologize. When does it happen? Well, remember that Russian ballerina thing? They closed that down.
Uh-huh. Right.
And then, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Then they got a yacht. Right.
And then remember Christian Bale jumped off the yacht because he was going to get on a plane. I remember.
They captured the Qing Chong guy. Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know his name. Chin Han.
That's my friend, the actor, Chin Han. Right.

Speaker 1 And Alfred was on the boat with these ballerinas. So we don't know what happened there.
Oh,

Speaker 1 the assumption is

Speaker 1 he got to pick. He got to pick whoever he wanted.
Well, I mean, what? Probably the Deshaun Watson treatment?

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Bobby doesn't know who that is. No, but I like it.
But I do get the reference and he doesn't. Yeah, well, tell me the reference.
It's like pretty much a happy ending massage. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Except with a little bit more stretching. Whoa.
So you're getting massage, getting happy ending while you're doing yoga? Yes. Or pilot.
It's a surprise to the other person.

Speaker 1 It's a surprise to the other person. Not good.

Speaker 1 So if you and I were stretching, let's say you and I did hot yoga. Okay.
Can you see that happening in a.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Can you see us doing hot yoga together? I can.
All right. I have

Speaker 1 envisioned we're in Hawaii. Could I know? Or Thailand or something like that? Oh, you want to go? We'll go to Thailand, right? The motherland.

Speaker 1 Well, you think I'm Thai?

Speaker 1 You think I'm Thai? I'm guessing. No, you're not.
No, you're right. Well, guess what I am?

Speaker 1 Where's Bangkok?

Speaker 1 Where's Thailand?

Speaker 1 Thailand. Okay, Bangkok.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm not.
Is that your last guess, or you want to?

Speaker 1 Let me think about all of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll just look.

Speaker 1 Korea. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, it looks good.

Speaker 1 Wow. It's so good.
Right on the money. Right, so we're doing hot,

Speaker 1 we're doing hot yoga in Thailand, right? And we're stretching. And then I walk up to you and I just start like

Speaker 1 putting my hands on your genitals. Is that what you mean by the Deshaun Lewis?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Deshaun Lewis. That's what he's talking about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
That's what he's talking about. Yeah, yeah.
Is it Deshaun Lewis? What's his name? Sean Watson. Deshaun Watson.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Have you ever had a happy ending?

Speaker 1 I've done it to myself many times.

Speaker 1 Have you ever had an happy ending? I've been to Vegas. Yeah.
Okay, good. That sounds good.

Speaker 1 I mean, have you gotten a hand job? How old are you, by the way? 25. You're 25? I'm 25.
So I assume you've had a hand job before. Yes, sir.
They're the worst. Yeah.
Do you like them or no?

Speaker 1 They're pretty.

Speaker 1 I don't prefer them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's get to the other parts. Yeah.
What are the other parts? I don't know. From your part of this country, I don't know.
It could be different. Oh, this.

Speaker 1 Head and shoulders.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I don't know, but yes.

Speaker 1 Second base. Oh, second base.
Head and shoulders. Do you like Second Green Titty or what? I do.

Speaker 1 You're a butt guy or are you a titty guy?

Speaker 1 Hey, I love fucking titties.

Speaker 1 Knew it. I knew you were one of us.
The American way. Look at that.
I knew it. God is good.
God bless America. Greatest country in the world.
It's the best country.

Speaker 1 You know, you can't do that in any other country. You can't titty fuck overseas.
I know. They shun it.
Well, in Asia, their titties are so small, it's very difficult.

Speaker 1 Yeah, two small things don't do it. Yeah, you know, you're just doing chestbone fucking.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? They have these hard chestbone Korean legs. You just got to rub it against the chestbone.
But that is, that is, you know, that is how they make

Speaker 1 wasabi. Fire and wasabi.

Speaker 1 Fucking a pigeon chest. What? Like fucking a pigeon chest.

Speaker 1 Very good. True.
Yeah. I like it.
Whoa, dude. I like that.
Broad shouldered. Are you seeing somebody now, Kylie?

Speaker 1 Seeing someone? No, not specifically. Okay.
I'm kind of just giving tryouts. Kind of like

Speaker 1 funny. I like that.
So when you go out on a date, let's say I'm a girl. Can we pretend? Yes, sir.
Yeah. My name is Loop Loop.
Oh, I love her.

Speaker 1 This is my favorite current character.

Speaker 1 I love Loop Loop. Yeah, I'm Loop Loop.
Yeah. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 That's your Italian name. Yeah, that's my Italian game.
All right. I'm Loop Loop.
Perfect. Hey.

Speaker 1 What's up, brother? Hey, hey, sister.

Speaker 1 Very good, alright. You're already sucking his dick.
Where are we going? Where are we going? Yeah. Hey, let's just go straight to the crib.
Whoa. Yeah, but it's 6 p.m.
I haven't eaten.

Speaker 1 I thought we're going to have dinner. Okay.

Speaker 1 Sushi. Okay, where?

Speaker 1 Brother? Thailand. We're going to go to Thailand? Whoa.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 This guy's going to fly you to Thailand. So now we're on a plane.

Speaker 1 That's probably the easiest way to get to play there.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 So you're going to fly all the way to Thailand to get sushi? Possibly. But you don't know any sushi places in L.A.
or Texas? No, no.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 We're going to get some chicken or something. Oh, chicken.

Speaker 1 Well, it was a downgrade. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Sushi to chicken.
We went from sushi to chicken already. The way you're dressed, you know, you look like you probably give it up pretty easy.
Whoa. Whoa.

Speaker 1 Wait, you're saying that I'm fat? No.

Speaker 1 No, it's... No, it's the small hands.

Speaker 1 Oh, I have a little dainty hand. No, I'm just kidding.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay, anyway, so what chicken place are... What's my name? Loop?

Speaker 1 Loop loop. Loop loop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the loop loop.
Don't forget it, mister. Yes, sir.
So, what chicken place are we going to?

Speaker 1 City chicken. Oh, city chicken.
Is it good?

Speaker 1 Is it good?

Speaker 1 Is it good? City chicken. City, city chicken.
Activate.

Speaker 1 Whoa. One of the best spots in LA.
Really good. So we go to City Chicken,

Speaker 1 and then are we getting dessert? Are we going back to your crib?

Speaker 1 Back to the crib. Okay.
Probably.

Speaker 1 I don't go on many dates. I usually just come on.
That's what we're acting at out. I'm trying trying to help you.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to fucking help you.

Speaker 1 This guy's the dating guru. I'm the dating fucking guru, dude.
I'm trying to fuck. Let's get this show on.

Speaker 1 I know, but you can't go right to fuck, dude.

Speaker 1 Hey. Yeah, yeah.
I think you can. All right.
So we're at your crib now. We're at your crib, right? Nice plays.

Speaker 1 Excuse me? Why are you squinting?

Speaker 1 I'm trying to zoom in right now. Oh, you're zooming in.

Speaker 1 Wait.

Speaker 1 for you to get long sight, you have to zoom in? These, these, when they gave me these, yeah, yeah, they gave me two different sides and two different strengths. Yeah, like, uh, I didn't like that.

Speaker 1 So it's just like, I can't really see that great, but I just didn't feel like going back. He's zooming in.
Oh, you're zooming in. Zooming in.
And then, you know what? I'm going to zoom into you, too.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 That's hot. I thought you were already zoomed in.

Speaker 1 I'm zooming in. Do I zoom?

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 I got COVID.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I'm coffee. I have COVID.
I feel dude. Hey, look, that's the origin.

Speaker 1 Loop loop.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait. You think I'm from Wuhan, China? A little bit of bat soup?

Speaker 1 Take Lupu for some?

Speaker 1 It's turning very QAnon and fucking racist. Hey, whoa.
Whoa.

Speaker 1 Anyway, so we're watching. You want to watch a movie, cuddled up on the couch?

Speaker 1 Sure. What do you want to watch?

Speaker 1 What do I want to watch?

Speaker 1 Excuse me. I thought we were going to fuck.
What are you...

Speaker 1 Okay, you just want to fuck? All right. So

Speaker 1 I didn't bring any condoms. Do you have any?

Speaker 1 No, sir.

Speaker 1 No, ma'am.

Speaker 1 No loop loop.

Speaker 1 No loop loop.

Speaker 1 You just want to raw dog it? Sure.

Speaker 1 He didn't even think about it. Yeah, sure.
He went straight away. Wow, so that's your style.

Speaker 1 I've already got my booster and all that stuff. I'm good.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're vaccinated? Yes, sir. Oh, that's cool.
Yes, ma'am. Wow.
And these homies, you're who are these homies you're with? These guys? Yeah. That's my brother.
The black guy's your brother.

Speaker 1 That's my manager and my camera guy. Oh, that's cool, dude.
Not that camera guy. The new camera guy.
The new camera guy. New camera guy.
Do you have any questions for my little?

Speaker 1 I'm really loving Loop Loop. I gotta tell you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Losing my shit over here with him.
Yeah, yeah. You love Loop Loop? I love Loop Loop.
It's pretty good. It's a great character.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much. So you're single, though, Sketch, huh? Yes, sir.
You're running around having a good time. Actively, actively in play.
Oh, good for you. You're not on the apps, though.

Speaker 1 uh not really can't use them kit can't really too famous uh

Speaker 1 no just not enough good picks oh kind of got kind of got to show up in person well now do you get your girls from dms um dms and mostly just go to parties or just go out oh a party not no not that

Speaker 1 what hey a diddy party

Speaker 1 please don't go to those hey no party like a sketchbook

Speaker 1 are you throwing parties at your house no i so like i live with banks right now. And I mean,

Speaker 1 I just go. I'll go places sometimes, but mostly just out.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I'm trying to think of...
I usually just get addresses from people. Good job.
Whether it's a place or

Speaker 1 a restaurant or something. Yeah, yeah.
Good for you. Well, you get addresses.
I don't know. Can you explain? He's young and successful, and they tell him where to go.

Speaker 1 They say, come here, come party here. Go there, go party there.
And then when you party, do you drink? I drink, smoke a little bit.

Speaker 1 Mostly smoke. Some weed? Weed, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. You do molly? Oh, no.
Okay. Have never have.
Interested?

Speaker 1 Have you taken Molly? No, yeah.

Speaker 1 What's it do? What's it like? Feels good. Put you back in that loop loop scenario.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. My wiener's tingling.

Speaker 1 What's up, brother? I think that's another baby catchphrase. My wiener's tingling.
My wiener's tingling.

Speaker 1 Wow, that's a good one. You got to add like a, would you add a hands-on with it? Yeah, yeah.
That

Speaker 1 doubles the chances of it. Oh, you you got to put an emote with uh what you're saying yeah yeah

Speaker 1 does your penis tingle often um no but it does burn sometimes okay oh uh oh yeah uh oh hot dog that's

Speaker 1 do you know that's

Speaker 1 i have one kidney so sometimes it just comes out like pretty but this will come out pretty orange or something like that

Speaker 1 what happened to the other one um born with one you're only born with one with one i think someone i think someone probably harvested somebody took it yeah where were you born uh i was born in arizona oh yeah they take it out there yeah that's where they take it.

Speaker 1 Phoenix? Phoenix. Wow.
But you live in Texas now. Yes, sir.
Yeah, yeah. What city? I live in Houston.
Oh, it's a good city. The big H.
I love the big H.

Speaker 1 I love living in Houston. Yeah.
Would you ever move to California? You like it out here or no? I like it out here for purposes like this, but besides that,

Speaker 1 I like living in Houston. I've lived there my whole life, so I just, it's just kind of the vibe.
That's where all your people are. Yes, sir.
Yeah, I get that. How are you handling fame?

Speaker 1 Pretty, I don't know. I take everything like day at a time.
Like it's more like, I don't know, it happened pretty fast.

Speaker 1 I never thought I'd like, I don't really care to be on camera or stuff like that. Like, it's pretty fun, but like.
You seem very comfortable here. Yeah, no, like, I'm at like

Speaker 1 just like cameras and stuff. Like, always, it was never like I would ever like public speaking or anything like that.
Well, we never learned public speaking. We just do it.
Yeah, we did. Yeah, we did.

Speaker 1 But I bet you, but a bait, but guy, I bet you can do all kinds of public speaking. Yeah.
If you like, let's do a little test here. Do a do a little.
Let's do a TED Talk. Do a presidential debate.

Speaker 1 Oh, would you like to do a presidential debate with President Carver here? Okay.

Speaker 1 And I'll be the CNN moderator. All right.
All right. Okay.
So, um, well, unlike my opponent,

Speaker 1 excuse me, sir. Yeah.
We just started. Oh, okay.
And I have to do the introduction. Oh, sorry.
So, welcome, CNN. I'm Sally Stevens, and I'm the

Speaker 1 moderator today, and welcome. And today is

Speaker 1 the Democratic nominee, President Carver.

Speaker 1 Right? Hello. And we have the Republican nominee,

Speaker 1 President.

Speaker 1 What's your last name? Cox. Cox.

Speaker 1 Anyway, let's get the, let's get the.

Speaker 1 Let's get the. I know it is.
Let's get the debate on the road, okay?

Speaker 1 So about immigration, what is your stance, President Carver? Well, Loop Loop, I'm glad you asked.

Speaker 1 Fuck. Unlike my opponent,

Speaker 1 I like people of all color. My opponent has said often that he does not like minorities.
It's kind of the stance he takes. It's what he's talked about often.
It's on his shirts. It's on his hats.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And, you know, I'm full in support of it. My opponent has a tiny cock.

Speaker 1 He's got a baby dick. Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 A little too fast. You know what? What? That gets my vote.

Speaker 1 That gets my vote. That just got my vote.
I got my vote. I've got three states down south, baby.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Look at that. That's incredible, dude.
You should run. I know.
I've been thinking about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you're taking fame day to day.

Speaker 1 And does it ever, does it ever freak you out a little bit? Oh, yeah. I was like, it's more like I'd wake up and go,

Speaker 1 it doesn't feel real or something.

Speaker 1 But like seeing, when you see pro-athletes, when you see pro-athletes do what's up, brother. Does that fuck with your head? Did that fuck you up a little bit? It turns me on.
Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's pretty sick. I mean, like, I mean, like, I've never got the whole thing.
Like, What's Up Brother? I did one time.

Speaker 1 I felt like it turned into like a whole meme and like, kind of, like, that's all people say to me. And you don't have to say it back to them.
You don't have to. So it's like a, oh, no, no.

Speaker 1 No, you don't have to say it. You can just let it go.
Well, is it annoying or do you want to? Oh, no, I like it.

Speaker 1 Blessed in disguise. Yeah.
I just never really got the whole. It's just like WhatsApp, brother.
Like, you know what I mean? I thought that was a pretty color. Yeah, but it's your cadence.

Speaker 1 It's your look. It's your style.
It's who you are.

Speaker 1 That's what people got into. Okay.

Speaker 1 You know, like, they like that the rhythm of it is good. They like the way you present it.
Stole that from DJT. God bless.
Hey, God bless you. They like you.

Speaker 1 And that's a good thing. That's it.
That is good. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Usually these things happen when you don't try.

Speaker 1 You see a lot of people try. What are you laughing at, Carlos? DJT.
Okay. What does that mean?

Speaker 1 Donald J. Trump.
Okay. Okay.
Yeah.

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Speaker 1 I like hydro. I got it.
You? They gave me one. I got one at the house.
I love it so very much. It's incredible.
And I'm rowing in the morning and it wakes me up and gets me juiced. Well, what is it?

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Speaker 1 Code, of course, is Bad Friends to save up to $600.

Speaker 1 Hydro.com, code is Bad Friends. Call sports, mostly just football, though.
Football is football is like where my claim is.

Speaker 1 I played that when I was growing up. Did wrestling and stuff like that, but like never really fuck with it too much.
Yeah. You own the wrestling team?

Speaker 1 For a little bit, it sucked. You get your ass kicked a couple times.

Speaker 1 I was a chubby 170, so I'd go out there and wrestle like a real 170. Oh, wow.
They got to like throw you around. You know, this guy was an extremely good high school wrestler.
So was his brother.

Speaker 1 Really? That's true. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What weight? No, you guessed the weight. Guess the weight.
I thought Sumo was one weight.

Speaker 1 Bro, very funny. Right.
But I just, you know, because I'm being, I was one of. Asian jokes are layups.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 y'all don't fight back

Speaker 1 well they can't yeah yeah yeah

Speaker 1 yeah so yeah i would i just did collegiate wrestling not sumo

Speaker 1 you did yeah i did yeah yeah you ever did collegiate wrestling well i did what high school whatever high school was it freestyle at your school or what oh yeah like no i'd what's the other one i did collegiate that's what it's called regular where you stand you're right i did four i did four years you did four years and what weight do you think i wrestled

Speaker 1 you look like you're uh

Speaker 1 probably 180 right now. Oh, maybe like a little soft.

Speaker 1 Wait, what do you think? Wait, you're not 180?

Speaker 1 No, but I am.

Speaker 1 You put a one in front of it?

Speaker 1 How'd you start with a one?

Speaker 1 Okay, 225. 225.
Yeah, yeah. 225.
Wow. I gotta get on Ozimpic, I think.
Yeah, that's it. That's the final straw.
No, it's he. Yeah, dude, dude, that was fucking crazy.
Okay, he was sweating.

Speaker 1 You think I came in aggressive, right? Sumo, and then I'm 280. What the fuck is going on, right? Yeah, you look like you got soft skin.
Come on.

Speaker 1 In a good way, though. In a good way, yeah.

Speaker 1 I love this guy, Doug. I know.
He's the best. Hey, we'll be tip to tip later.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you will. Wait, wait.
Stop. Can we slow down? No.
I'm sweating now. Yeah.
I'm sweating now. So you're drooling a little bit.
Yeah, I'm drooling too. You mean dock?

Speaker 1 Space docking? Yeah. Space docking? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You got a sleeve? Do you have a sleeve? Are you clipped? Oh, me?

Speaker 1 Whatchamacallit? You got a hell of a little off the top at the start. You took a little top? Yeah, me too.
Just got a little buzz cut. That's what I told him when I came in.

Speaker 1 I said, a little off the top. Yeah.
So we have no way of docking. Yeah.
So you're right. It would be tip to tip.
So it'd be like this, huh?

Speaker 1 Am I the pinky?

Speaker 1 Oh, you're both. Really far.
Oh, well, yeah.

Speaker 1 You have a nice penis?

Speaker 1 Check Google. Okay.

Speaker 1 This guy's fast, dude. This guy's so fast, dude.
Check Google. We love you, dude.
I love you, boys. I want to know about your family.

Speaker 1 So are your parents proud of you yeah like i have great parents great family um blessed with the people i like uh was raised by oh cool dude all the things after the fact were uh my own doing

Speaker 1 what do you mean after the fact um well like up till uh like i mean they can they raise you till you're 18 or whatever

Speaker 1 so i mean like they taught me everything that was right and wrong and then you did your own thing after that um yeah we're like freestyle i'm sure i'm working on it but like you know every we're all working on it yeah are you because like you know like he's working we're all working on something everyone's working on something Bobby's sobriety, right?

Speaker 1 I'm trying to

Speaker 1 stop being so angry all the time. Yeah, yeah.
And

Speaker 1 we're failing at both. We're failing at both.
What are you getting sober from? Drugs and alcohol, generally. Like, what was your drug of choice?

Speaker 1 Well, over the years, it's been different at times, you know. Sometimes it's been alcohol.
Sometimes it's been just weed. Sometimes it's been opiates.
Yeah. Crack.
One time it was crack. Crack.

Speaker 1 So now I'm fine now, you know. Mind.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 My advice is probably weed. Weed.

Speaker 1 Probably too much weed. All day, every day? Yeah.
Yeah. A little bit before here, a little bit when I wake up, a little bit before I go to sleep.
You ever taken a dab before? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I couldn't.

Speaker 1 I spoke Gaelic after I got...

Speaker 1 It's unbelievable, man. I hated it.
I didn't like it. I don't like to feel that out of control.
Too high. That's true.
I want to be a little bit high and just coast through the day.

Speaker 1 Have you ever taken psychedelics in? Yeah,

Speaker 1 but it's a different kind of trip. You know, like psychedelics is more involved.
It's more peaceful. Dabs hits you in the face really hard.

Speaker 1 I don't like it that hard. Feels like butane going, yeah.
I want it slow and low, baby. That's true.
Slow and low.

Speaker 1 So I'm gonna ask you, you don't have to get, you have to divulge, but I am curious because your manager is here, and you know what that means. You're making money.
Yes, sir.

Speaker 1 Whenever they come along, you know they're making good money now. So you're making good money, huh? And you gotta, yes, sir.
And I don't know where he works, but he's a fancy manager. Fancy manager.

Speaker 1 You mean this guy right here? Right there? Yeah, yeah. You like the

Speaker 1 sword, sir? Yeah, yeah. He's wearing the same jeans and past.
You were for a company or are you solo? I work for a company. Yeah.
Whoa, see, even that fucking response right there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, very fancy. Well, I'm going to ask him because we can hear him on the pick, not him.

Speaker 1 You know your attitude today, dude? I'm just trying to help the whole thing.

Speaker 1 I know. You know? My bad.
Your manager, you met how long ago?

Speaker 1 January-ish. Right.
So this is fresh. Yes, sir.
And is it going good? Is he treating you right? Yeah. Great, great guy.
And we'll have him killed if he's not. Easily.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What kind of stuff is he getting you into?

Speaker 1 Like in terms of deals or like. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're doing. I mean, like, I signed a a couple of deals like I got a deal prize picks.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 Relo prize picks Yay stuff like that. And

Speaker 1 I make most of my money from Twitch though.

Speaker 1 Yeah your Twitch streaming is the thing that kind of popped you hard too. Yeah Twitch Twitch pays pretty well and then I do YouTube as well.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's the game you're playing on Twitch? The game I mostly play on Twitch. I do like IRL stuff more now, but like I play a lot of Madden and stuff like that.
Madden. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like the gaming stuff like during the summer kind of it kind of dies off and IRL kind of takes over. What's IRL? I'm dumb.
In real life. But what is that?

Speaker 1 In real life games. So it's like instead of behind desktop, it's like when you take it and you're free-roaming.
Like, you can be doing anything. But it pretty much means like off a computer.
No, shit.

Speaker 1 So when

Speaker 1 kids are in school, that kind of like

Speaker 1 the desktop, because they'll go to school, go home, and then they'll watch people game. But during the summer, a kid would rather...

Speaker 1 play games and watch someone be outside kind of like so it kind of goes through ups and downs of like God, that's such an interesting thing, man. I love it.
Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

Speaker 1 People have pitched him because people want to watch him play. Oh, yeah.
But you're saying don't do that in the season. You should.

Speaker 1 Well, what I'm going to do, I think

Speaker 1 people really responded to me starting a farm on Stardew Valley. So I'm going to start a brand new farm, and I think I'm going to vlog it.
Yeah, you should. That is, Jen.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And we'll see what happens. But you ever play Warzone?

Speaker 1 Sometimes. Not really.
I'm just trying to figure out a game where I can play with you. Try Madden.
Yeah. I just don't know how it works.

Speaker 1 That's the only problem. Well,

Speaker 1 you know football.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I think I know the

Speaker 1 system of scoring system. Wait, is this Loop who asking me? This is Loop.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 well, Loop, Loop, and Bobby Lee are similar.

Speaker 1 They kind of are interchangeable. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're kind of two in the same person. Yeah, you know how something.

Speaker 1 He's wearing a skirt under there or something. Yeah, that's his Italian gangster.
There he is.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. If you want to go and talk to Vinny, you can talk to Vinnie.
Yeah, do you want to talk to Vinny? Who's that? That's Vinny. Oh, right there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm like that fucking, what's split?

Speaker 1 I'm like the movie split. Right.
Yeah. Yeah.
Keeps to me. I knew this, but then I also do loop loop.

Speaker 1 If I captured, if I captured you, let's say you got knocked out. Just let me just, yeah, right.
You got knocked out, right?

Speaker 1 And you were in a cellar somewhere. You're tied to a fucking pole.
Middle pole, right? I can see it now. And I'm like split.
I come out, right? No shirt, maybe a Hawaiian shirt, right? And I'm like,

Speaker 1 you know what I mean? And I did these characters.

Speaker 1 Would you be scared?

Speaker 1 I would be scared up to a certain point.

Speaker 1 What level of scare do you think? Oh, I'd

Speaker 1 probably throw it in like mid-range. Probably five.
What? What?

Speaker 1 You got it like you got an intimidating.

Speaker 1 You can be intimidating. You think I can? I think so.
If you dress up or something? Yeah. Maybe put on some.
Don't keep the shirt off.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What'd you say? Keep the shirt on. Oh, you think it's scarier if my shirt's off? Yeah.
Yeah. You know, it's coming from a guy.
Here we go. I always say, you remember Porgs? Porgs? Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's a porgue? From Star Wars. Oh, no, no.
I don't know. Oh, you never want to.
Check this out. Yeah.
There it is. Yeah.
That's basically his body. That's him.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's impressive. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's impressive. It's impressive.
I think that'll. You know what the fuck a porgue is? A porg? Yeah.
No.

Speaker 1 You've ever seen Star Wars? No,

Speaker 1 I don't really fuck with sci-fi too much. He likes real life shit.
Yeah, that's true. He's not a nerd.
Documentaries. Yeah, but he looks sci-fi.
I look sci-fi? You mean he looks... I mean, he looks...

Speaker 1 Dude, I went to fucking Comic-Con. That's what they look like.
Me, bro. I'm just whispering.
You can't hear this, right? But yeah. Doesn't he look...
Andrew, back me up here.

Speaker 1 Doesn't he look like he knows sci-fi or not? Yeah, but you do too. Yeah, and I do.
Right. I'm not denying it.
He's denying it. All right, right, right.
Maybe he doesn't. Yeah.
You don't. I don't.

Speaker 1 Age-wise. I refuse.
25 is also young for Star Wars.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, I'm just saying, like, I don't know if that generation likes Star Wars.
Okay. That's older.
We're older. That's older.
Do you like Star Wars? Well, he's 25. That kid right there is 25.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but also, I didn't watch Star Wars till college. But also, like, we grew up with prequels were coming out when we were kids.
Yeah, they fucked up the sequence. They did.

Speaker 1 Oh, they fucked up the seed. I totally agree.
They did. Yeah.
They fucked all that shit up. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was better if they left it alone. Or they just started with Phantom Menace.
Is that what you're trying to say?

Speaker 1 Trash. It was trash.
Anyway, so you don't watch any sci-fi? No, not really. I mostly just watch YouTube, Twitch, and then like...
Who do you watch on Twitch? Other streamers?

Speaker 1 Just trying to see what they're doing? I have no clue really how to stream right now. So it's kind of like...
You don't?

Speaker 1 I just, when I started, I just kind of turned on this thing and I'd play a game. But like, to build out like a stream, you kind of like have to have multiple segments.

Speaker 1 But so you've been so successful at it. It's funny that you say you don't know really how to do it.
It's just, it's kind of just been working on its own. Yeah.
Well, then why fuck with it? Leave.

Speaker 1 It's great. That's true.
Right? If it's not broken, why are you trying to fix it? Obviously, you've amassed something very popular and appealing.

Speaker 1 I think the more people try to fuck with it, the worse it gets. Yeah.
Yeah, I think leave it alone. I think you're doing a great job.
Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. Well, it's weird.

Speaker 1 Like that old saying, if it's not broke, finish it. If it's not broke.
Must be American.

Speaker 1 Don't fix it. There it is.
DJT. That's right.
Love it. Love it or leave it.
Love it or leave it. What do you mean? List it? Love it or list it.
Is it? Let's leave it. Love it or leave it alone.

Speaker 1 That's good. Yeah, test them on the phrases.
That's smart.

Speaker 1 What is that phrase from? What? Is this a sci-fi thing?

Speaker 1 What, love it or leave it? What is love it or leave it? Is that like a... I've never even heard of that before.
Oh, you just thought. Oh, the fuck said that.
I'm the fuck.

Speaker 1 Wait, who the fuck said love it or leave it? I did. Yeah.
Where's that from? Life. Okay.
Yeah, love someone alone. What does it mean, though? Love it or leave it alone.
Right. Okay.

Speaker 1 Do you love me, Loopu? Loop loop?

Speaker 1 Why do you keep calling me loop loop? Loop loop? I mean, loop loopu. It's loop loop.

Speaker 1 It's two loops. Two loops.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at that.
Two loops don't make a wrong. Double loops.
Yeah. He just made one up.
That's it. I like it.

Speaker 1 I just made one up.

Speaker 1 Have you traveled internationally?

Speaker 1 I've been to Japan. Oh, yep.
No, wait, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. He's just saying regionally.
He pointed regionally. Yeah, but he went.
Well,

Speaker 1 like, I'm supposed to go, I concur.

Speaker 1 No, you're supposed to say, yeah. You're welcome.
Touche? What the fuck is this? Well, he's thanking you. Okay.

Speaker 1 Canada? Yeah. Get that.

Speaker 1 Canada.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Canada, Danny.
Canada. All right, good.
Canada. Good, yeah, yeah.
That's the two I've been to. Yeah, yeah.
So Canada and Japan. Yeah, and then London.
What'd you do in Japan? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Japan, we did. Middle-earth.

Speaker 1 Middle-earth. Middle-earth.
Hey, yo.

Speaker 1 Your head can rotate behind you.

Speaker 1 What was going on in Japan? What was going on in Japan?

Speaker 1 I was there with FaZe, and then we just tried to stream in the morning. So pretty much drank in the morning and then passed out by three.
That's what you did every day? Yeah. Pretty on pour.

Speaker 1 How many days?

Speaker 1 We were were there for like a week, probably eight days. So every day you'd wake up and get drunk whenever you woke up and then you'd go to bed by 3 p.m.

Speaker 1 Every day we'd wake up at 8.30, go to 7-11, probably get some, we'd get a couple lemon sours. They're like, what is the percentage of a lemon sour over there? Don't know.
11%?

Speaker 1 9%. Wow.
9%. It's like an IPA.
Four of those? Yeah. Feeling.

Speaker 1 And just walking? Did you talk to any of the Japanese people? I got a couple of these. Yeah.
Oh, that's like, get it the fuck out of here. Is that what it is? Do you not know about this in Japan?

Speaker 1 What is it?

Speaker 1 There's a lot of places that they don't want whites coming around. They don't want tourists coming around.
Oh, thank God. They X you out.
They tell you no, thank you.

Speaker 1 This is a real thing. You got to be fucking.
They were doing it like there was one lady that did it like

Speaker 1 since. You know, I was like going, oh, hey, hey.
They'll tell you no, thank you. Wait, wait.
You got to be. It's segregation like the fucking 1950s South.
That's why Japan is so nice.

Speaker 1 They really go, get the fuck out of here? Yeah. Well, no, they don't say anything.
They just tell you no because what they're trying to communicate is they don't speak English and nobody there does.

Speaker 1 They're they're not going to try to communicate with you so when you go there they see obviously you're a fucking white yeah yeah and they go okay okay okay because they're saying no one's gonna try to speak English to you yeah yeah we don't we can you still go in no you would why would you go past that yeah I would go this back no yeah yeah yeah you do that to me yeah and it's not like I walk into a oh no you no no no

Speaker 1 and I walk in there well the problem they go get me a fucking cabbage stew well they'd let you in oh yeah they would assume that you might be able to finagle your way through Okay.

Speaker 1 See, now he's doing it. Oh, no.
That's that's my bread and butter. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So they do this. That's interesting.
They also do a thing called, we call it WPT, it was white people tax. So you'd have tourists that you'd go to get a bill from a restaurant.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And there'd be like other

Speaker 1 tourist taxes included. What does that mean? They have a tourist tax.
If you're eating and you're not a fucking local, they tax you on top of what you've already. Wow.
Now, how much money is that?

Speaker 1 It's another percentage of the bill. Wow.

Speaker 1 Is that offensive? No. Okay.
No, no, no. What do you mean? How would it be offensive? Would they add more money? Because I'm a tourist.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yes, tourist tax.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to get a squeeze of lemon out of there. That's right.
And get lemonade. That's true.
Exactly. Well, they don't serve lemonade over there, but yeah, I do understand.
Okay. Lemon sources.

Speaker 1 Well, I know. So, but what are the percent? Excuse me? Lemon sours.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I'm pea-brained a little bit. You know, I'm pee brained too.
Don't worry about it. Hey.
Two peas in a pod. What were you doing? What did you do in London? Tell me about London.
London,

Speaker 1 kind of same thing. We just got a bounce around pubs.

Speaker 1 I have a drinking problem. Yeah.
No, I'm just, well, it's more of like

Speaker 1 a drinking athlete, I guess.

Speaker 1 Ah. So you went, but did you mingle with the locals there too either or no?

Speaker 1 More, more, yeah, in London.

Speaker 1 The locals there were pretty sick. They would just come around and there's always drinking.

Speaker 1 London's pretty mundane. Can you give us a British accent? Did you pick anything up?

Speaker 1 Hello.

Speaker 1 Hello, mate. Good.
No, they're pretty good. Hey, mate, what would they say?

Speaker 1 Bro? Bruv. He's right.
Bruv. Bruv.
Hey, bro. I'm smoking a finger.

Speaker 1 Oh. Yeah.
Very good.

Speaker 1 That's pretty much what they say. Yeah.
No, that's it. I felt like I was in London when you said that.
Yeah, I sort of got jolly old London. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Liverpool or something. That was really good.

Speaker 1 They call cigarettes that. Yeah, they do.
Yeah, I know. I live on planet Earth.

Speaker 1 I didn't know what to talk about there. Yeah, I know what they...

Speaker 1 Well, he does one.

Speaker 1 It's great to meet you, Sketch.

Speaker 1 It's so good, right? Welcome to London, Sketch. I'm a friend.
My name is Bing Gantos.

Speaker 1 I'm Bing Gantosu. Sounds like a cowboy.

Speaker 1 Well, see, I do it, and then he does a cowboy. He does like a little Asian cowboy.
Francou.

Speaker 1 Asian cowboy? I'm a friend who, mate. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Look at that. Pretty good, huh? Giddy Upper.
Giddy Upper. That's an Asian cowboy.
That's a good name. Giddy Upper.
Do you like Asian chicks? Do I like Asian chicks? Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's your favorite?

Speaker 1 Ethnicity. The lady I'm talking to is a little Asian.
Ooh.

Speaker 1 Half or full. I think, I don't know.
I got to investigate that a little more. Right.
Only seen her in the dark so far. I'm not even sure she's Asian.
She just was like...

Speaker 1 Stop.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Stop for a second. Let me just...
Please.

Speaker 1 I just need to. Yeah, recoup.

Speaker 1 I've only seen her in the dark. God is good.
God is great. God is good.
No, all the time. God is good.
God is great. Yeah, yeah.
No, no. It's all the time.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 is she like Loop Loop?

Speaker 1 Is she like Loop Loop? Yeah, yeah. She doesn't talk like Loop Loop, but

Speaker 1 she has some characteristics. Ooh.

Speaker 1 Smaller feet. A little bit of that going on.

Speaker 1 Yes. We also smoked a little bit.

Speaker 1 In the dark?

Speaker 1 Outside. Outside?

Speaker 1 Everything was in low lighting. Not pitch black.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Are you saying that she could be a guy?

Speaker 1 I wouldn't be the first time.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 1 No. No,

Speaker 1 no, no. I feel like there you go.

Speaker 1 There you go. What? No, she was perfect.
No, she's in beautiful young people. And she lived here in L.A.
or Texas? Texas. Oh, so you can't wait to get back to her.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, I just bring her out here sometimes. She's here now.

Speaker 1 She was here. Oh.
Was here last night. I love to meet her.
Oh, she was. How old is she?

Speaker 1 She's my age. Like 24.
Wow. She's a cutie.
You guys know her?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Wait,

Speaker 1 it's Pinnada. No, no, no, stop, stop, stop.
This makes no sense to me.

Speaker 1 Can I just

Speaker 1 do some investigating? Yeah, do it. Okay, thank you so much.
But the more you talk to them, the less we can hear them. I'm not going to talk to them anymore.
But they did shook their head.

Speaker 1 So they've never met this person before. They didn't say no.
Yeah. So, yes.
So

Speaker 1 you've only seen her in the dark, okay? But she's been out here. But no one's seen her.

Speaker 1 Right? So what's going on here, buddy? My close friends have seen her. Well, like, they don't

Speaker 1 live with me.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay. So like, like,

Speaker 1 people have seen her. Yeah.

Speaker 1 She's a real person.

Speaker 1 This isn't. She goes to another school.
She goes to another school. Yeah.
Oh, she goes to a different school. Right.
Got pretty much. Across town.
Across town. Okay.

Speaker 1 Trying to beat the allegations here. All right.
So here's the deal.

Speaker 1 You're doing a good job. You're doing a very good job.
So this girl that you're seeing now might be Asian. But have you, have you dated many other races of girls or no?

Speaker 1 I've been around the world. Oh, you have?

Speaker 1 not dating. I mean, like, just, you know, just hooking up.

Speaker 1 Sharing love. Yeah, swap.
Sharing love. I'm a lover, not a fighter.
Yeah, yeah. Little naked wrestling.
Yeah. Little naked wrestling.
Yeah. I like the whites.

Speaker 1 Why is that?

Speaker 1 He does. He only dates white girls.
Is that true? Exclusively. No.
I thought you had a...

Speaker 1 Are you married? No, not.

Speaker 1 He got out of a long-term relationship with whom I was a woman. I get out of long term relationship with a woman who was Asian.

Speaker 1 But now, since then, he's gone

Speaker 1 real white. I'm just going on a white tour right now.
Yeah. So, like, mostly just like up in Washington, D.C., or something? Well, there are whites all over the country.
Yeah, the good news.

Speaker 1 You got to get the real ones, though. Oh, there's real ones up north.
Well, there's different types of. I mean, like.

Speaker 1 Oh, explain to me the types because I'm not white and you know, well, you're white, so you can give me the categories. Give me the fucking categories there.
Cajun, hillbilly. Oh, hillbilly, yes.
Tan.

Speaker 1 Tan. Not tan.
Not tan. Kind of Asian.
Fat. Could be Asian.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is fat? Would fat be one? Fat. There are fat fat white chicks exactly i've seen that show 600 pound life yeah yeah yeah love

Speaker 1 love that show love that show you like that show love yeah yeah yeah

Speaker 1 although i've been watching um 600 pound live where are they now

Speaker 1 and you know what they should call it 600 pound live they're still 600 pounds yeah

Speaker 1 where are they now they're still fat right you never lose the weight you could how could you yeah yeah yeah 600 pounds yeah yeah that's two of you that's so much to lose

Speaker 1 dude that's so rude. No, it's not.
It is. It's a little rude.
It's okay. You're built like the lower half of a snowman, but you're okay.

Speaker 1 What's up, brother?

Speaker 1 Yes, pop. Okay.

Speaker 1 Very good, dude. Very good.
Yeah. Anyway.
What's next on the tour for you?

Speaker 1 Like, where are you going after L.A.? You're going to go back to Houston? I go to Houston probably for a Texans game. Oh, you're right.

Speaker 1 Are you going on the field? They put you on the field?

Speaker 1 I mean, like, I can can probably ask. Yeah, you should.

Speaker 1 Manager's right there.

Speaker 1 We should get that thing moving. Yeah,

Speaker 1 let's get that shit on the road. That's right.
Get him on the fucking field.

Speaker 1 Have you met any of the Texans? Yeah, I've met Stroud. I've met Tank Doe, John Mechie, Stefan Diggs.
Ooh, Stefan Diggs. He's the man.
Yeah. They're all pretty sick.
I'm a Bears fan.

Speaker 1 We play you guys in week two. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Dude, you should go to the game.
Invite me. You want to go to the game? Yes, I do.
All right.

Speaker 1 We got extra bucks. We're on the field.
We got to be on the field. We tell the manager.
We got to. No, you don't come.
No, no, no. But we can make that happen.

Speaker 1 You would never want to go to a football game in a million years. Ever.
Ever. I've been to them.
When? When I was a kid,

Speaker 1 I had a friend named Tyler Phillips. He was blind in one eye.
Every time about Tyler Phillips,

Speaker 1 who are you? Theo Vaughan, right now?

Speaker 1 No. So I was friends with a guy named Tyler Phillips, right? And the reason why I stopped hanging out with him because when I spent the night,

Speaker 1 I spent the night at his house once, right? And he slept on his left side of his face, but it's the right eye where he's missing the eye. And it just opened

Speaker 1 while we were sleeping. Yeah.
And

Speaker 1 I was looking at him and he opened his eyes and go, Are you awake, Tyler? And he was

Speaker 1 sleeping, and it freaked me out. That was it.
That was it. What does that do with the football game?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 where did that go?

Speaker 1 Let me finish. I'm not even fucking done, dude.
You're being rude, dude. I'm leading you.
All right, so my dad, right? Tyler Phillips' dad was rich. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 he's going to my dad and goes, would you like to see, we have, you know what I mean, box seating at the

Speaker 1 Minnesota Vikings, because the one we lived in Minnesota. Oh, that was in Minnesota.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And I remember my dad and I went to the fucking Vikings game in these box seats. And my dad was just

Speaker 1 asleep the whole fucking time.

Speaker 1 It was super embarrassing. What is it? Who cares? Yeah, but it's like we're in the box seats.
There's like other people. People are cheering.
And my fucking old Korean dad,

Speaker 1 You know, I'm in sleep, it was fucking embarrassing. He needed rest, he worked really hard.
Yeah, Fashion Gal took a lot of time.

Speaker 1 So, I did see that game, and I saw a couple of Chargers games, all right? So, I've been there. You have, yeah, yeah.
I just like being invited to things. Well, let's invite you, but you won't go.

Speaker 1 Fine, I won't go, but I would like to get invited, right? That's that's kind of the whole point. I'd love to have you, I'd love to be there.
But it is nice to, it is nice to get invited, right?

Speaker 1 I didn't want to, we don't like, I don't, we don't get invited to parties anymore, like he gets to go to these cool fucking parties. We don't get to go to that anything.

Speaker 1 When's the last party I was invited to? Well, you that you know, you've been invited to parties, dude. When?

Speaker 1 I don't know. At Russell Crowe's house.

Speaker 1 That was because of the thing. Yeah, but you were.
Were you invited? Was that a party?

Speaker 1 Get together. No, it's a party.
Get together.

Speaker 1 What's the difference between a party and a get-together? Everybody knows there's a big difference between a party and a get-together. Oh, you give me the difference because I don't know.

Speaker 1 A party is...

Speaker 1 Oh, so there's got to be a DJ. And a get-together is like.

Speaker 1 Okay. So I've never been invited to a party.
I've only gone to people.

Speaker 1 I've never been to a party where there's a DJ at somebody's house. Fuck that.
Yeah, you have. That's such a lie.
Absolutely. I've been places with you where there's DJs.
Who?

Speaker 1 Fucking Whitney always has someone doing a DJ.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's somebody on a fucking iPhone. That's what a fucking DJ is.
Yeah. Someone with the iPhone going, Here's my plant lands.
I hate DJ. I hate that, by the way.

Speaker 1 What's your party music you play?

Speaker 1 Excuse me?

Speaker 1 Turning Japanese? I don't think I'm turning Japanese. Not really.
Yeah, no.

Speaker 1 I like older music. He likes eclectic shit.

Speaker 1 Well, what music do you listen to? I listen to a little bit of everything. What do we talk about? What's on the playlist? Okay, open your phone right now and show me the top four save songs on your

Speaker 1 whatever it is. You got to be kidding.
Somebody tell me about my phone. Oh, yeah, hit him his phone.
Yeah. Because I want to know what do you do Spotify or Apple? What do you do? Spotify.

Speaker 1 Okay, I want to see your liked.

Speaker 1 Okay, let me see your top liked shit on Spotify. I also want to see what the fuck you're wearing.
I just realized your shorts. Can you see your shorts real quick? They're shorts underneath.

Speaker 1 They're the things underneath the shorts.

Speaker 1 What do you call them? I love those things.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 And it's matching the shirt. Yeah, it's dope.
I didn't mean to do that.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's pretty cool. That's a cool look, dude.
Cat's got good style. Yeah, you got good style.
Cat's got good style. Yeah.
So does the manager. So does your boy.
Everyone's got good style.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you have a cool crew here. Look at this.
Yeah, yeah. Bro, he brought the crew.
Are you from L.A.? The manager? You are? Yeah. You're born and raised here.
Love an L.A. manager, man.
These guys.

Speaker 1 They're good. They are good.

Speaker 1 This guy's good, dude. They all look like Mike Young.
Excellent. They all do like Mike.

Speaker 1 They do. They do.
It is funny. It's good to have a handsome manager.
Be careful of him around your girl, though. Handsome manager, man.
That's why I get ugly rep. I always have ugly rep.

Speaker 1 Hey, Kyle is my girl. God bless.

Speaker 1 Love it.

Speaker 1 Okay, you want my top four liked? Top four liked on.

Speaker 1 This is sketches. Top four liked on Spotify.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Black Kings. Sals Welcome.

Speaker 1 Oh, Whoa. Whoa.
I like it. Can you play a bit? We're going to blank it out, but play it just so we can hear it in the mic.

Speaker 1 Put it up to the mic more. Yeah.
Yeah. I don't know about him if it is for you, but I know about me.

Speaker 1 It's raining. He's looking at the kid up from out the window pane.
His brother died. And this young nigga can't even feel no pain.
Is he gonna ride? Or is he gonna lift himself?

Speaker 1 The shame is he gon' slide. Step his fleeks on the ball.
Hey,

Speaker 1 hey, that shit hits. It is.
What's number two? That shit fucking hits. That's called post-drive-by music.
Give me another one. Yeah,

Speaker 1 we'll dance to each one. Okay? Yeah, yeah.
Love ain't real.

Speaker 1 Dying to live. Let's go.
Living to die. Push it.

Speaker 1 I hear everything you're saying. Yeah.

Speaker 1 niggas come up bitch and see in advance when a lose shit it out of peace and who the fuck is you to judge motherfucking conniance

Speaker 1 rap or not

Speaker 1 hey hey hey damn this is bangers bangers dude oh my god

Speaker 1 that's a party yeah is there other styles

Speaker 1 that is a party that is a party but is there any other styles any other style yeah yeah yeah i mean other styles

Speaker 1 similar i usually go through a feat. Yeah, yeah.
Okay, you want me to go through

Speaker 1 one? Hit us with something. Something faster or something faster.
Something random. Yeah, yeah.
Just something that's like how we wouldn't expect it from you. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, this is just one of my favorite songs. Oh, you're there.
Let's do it.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 You dropped the bomb on me. Yeah.
The gap in. This is a great song.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. I know this, Jan.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. Here we are.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 woo. Woo.

Speaker 1 Woo. Yeah, dude.
Trying to hurt my back. That's got to be good.
Yeah, yeah. My knees are cracking.
Yeah, I'm good.

Speaker 1 Very good. Very good.
Eclectic styles. Let me ask you something.
Let's get...

Speaker 1 What's it going to take to get you a new phone? To get me a new phone? Look at that thing. Pook that thing up.
Show it to camera. Yeah.
What's going on, dude? You getting fights with it?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just run it a low budget right now. No chance.
No, I'm just kidding. But like, I just don't, I don't, if I break things, I don't really get them fixed.
You know, I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 What version of the is that is that? What version? That one? It's a new one. It's just shattered.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's probably two years old. Yeah, but it's all in pieces.
We got to get you something new. Not a bad, not a bad thing.

Speaker 1 But you know, I bet you the reason why you don't get a new phone is because it's updated. Like,

Speaker 1 I'm always scared that... Not scared, but I have to download all the stuff.
Oh, redo the thing again?

Speaker 1 We do all all the stuff yeah apple makes you do the thing again where you got to transfer it to the phone yeah yeah i actually like that it feels like a new start whenever i go get a new one actually you i think you're right i think they made it easier they have made it a little i think they made it easier yeah yeah yeah but it's still i don't i i i i i don't like getting the new phone every time because i know people that do that you know yeah you got to use you get iCloud and then you got to drop it and

Speaker 1 I'll wait till I need it but then this is a call you need it you know what I mean yeah it's time do you get a little new you get nudies on your direct message little nudie DMs little bad boy nudie DMs lately it's a lot of pictures of me.

Speaker 1 So people send you pictures of you?

Speaker 1 No, we're just people trolling. But yeah, like,

Speaker 1 should I get people more trolling stuff? You get a lot of trolls right now. Yeah.
Fuck that.

Speaker 1 What I call post-e-day. Now, did you, do you, does those hurt your feelings or no?

Speaker 1 No. I mean, I literally just click it past it and then I

Speaker 1 kind of just live my life. Well, let me tell you something.
That's great. Greatest piece of advice.

Speaker 1 What a healthy outlook. Fuck all that shit.
Fuck all that. Fuck all those people that say dumb shit, whatever they're saying.
Fuck all those people and fuck all the shit they say.

Speaker 1 They obviously are jealous or they're obviously fans because they wouldn't take the time to reach out if they weren't. So that's so fuck them if they hate you

Speaker 1 and keep doing that because I think that's the best move you can get. You know what the worst time is.
You know what? Here's the worst kind of messages I get. I'll tell you the worst messages lately.

Speaker 1 I mean, I know. No, you don't.
This is a new one. Oh.
They'll go, dude, I'm such a huge fan, dude. And fuck all those haters.
right?

Speaker 1 Right. And I'm like, in my mind, I'm like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 1 So now in my mind, I'm like, there's so many haters that

Speaker 1 just say that you like me. You know what I mean? He's like, yeah, I've been reading your comments, man.
Don't even read that shit. I go, how many are there now? And now you're going to look.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I hate it. It's just, give me the compliment.
Don't go. You know what I mean? This other stuff is out there.
I mean, look at mine's the most untantalizing. Let's see what this is.
Ready? Let's go.

Speaker 1 Let's jump in the request folder. All right, here we go.
Ready?

Speaker 1 Cameo just DM'd me. The app.
Look at that. Hey, DM me too.
Hey, Andrew, give us a try. Would you like to give us a try?

Speaker 1 Nope.

Speaker 1 Don't

Speaker 1 the first one as an ad. Yep.
Do they keep, dude? You know what it's so funny about Cameo? They start sending me a hot chick won't do it. Oh, yeah.
Like the prettiest girl.

Speaker 1 And she's like, hey, I just want to let you know. I'm a big fan.
Will you do Cameo? It's like, they tricked me. What? They know you're ready.
They know. They know you're ready

Speaker 1 this is so bad there's like literally nothing in here it's really funny there's like nothing in here yeah hey bro when are you gonna come to the uk can i have fifty dollars

Speaker 1 can i have fifty dollars andrea gin's calling me she pick it up uh

Speaker 1 yeah no no no because he won't know he won't know who that is she's very nice though andrea gin she's a comic she'll pick up a picture she's good she's uh

Speaker 1 yeah she's yeah well she's loop loop she's loop loop yeah yeah yeah that's who the character is based on yeah yeah no she is yeah she's a sister uh-huh well they all are um

Speaker 1 well we're all brothers and sisters that's right so you say what's up brother and you should do an asian what's up sister

Speaker 1 what's up sister there

Speaker 1 see that came out naturally go down so he goes up you go down what's up sister yeah

Speaker 1 yeah yeah that's good what's up sister really like that what's up brother what's up sister

Speaker 1 it's pretty good you know what dude um can we hang out or yeah i'm down down down.

Speaker 1 Like, if I go to Texas, we got to hang out with him.

Speaker 1 Don't you just like to sleep a lot?

Speaker 1 Where would you learn information like that?

Speaker 1 TikTok and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 He knows who the fuck you are.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 so yeah,

Speaker 1 I sleep a lot. You're acting like that's an out-of-pocket thing to say.
But your nickname is a slept king. What the fuck? I know, but

Speaker 1 I'll tell you why I sleep a lot. I know.
Why?

Speaker 1 What's that 285 getting you

Speaker 1 it hurts so bad i know what it is you know what it is no you don't even know i just discovered i just discovered it well you sometimes you're a little depressy weshy that's not why well sometimes you've eaten too many meals that's what that's good that's one yeah yeah sometimes oh god i gotta tell you you're staying up too late playing video games do you stay up till four or five in the morning playing video games uh no just mostly kind of just can't sleep and then

Speaker 1 I don't really sleep too much, but like I'm like, I stay up just chilling. How many hours a night are you you getting to sleep?

Speaker 1 Probably four of them.

Speaker 1 Let's get that. You know what you should do? Next time you're three in the morning, you can't sleep, call me.
Let's chat. Okay.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Let's chat with each other. Check in.
Just roll over. Yeah, that'd be.

Speaker 1 That's right. You're right there.
Oh, yeah. You know what I would like to do? That's very good.
Let's FaceTime each other.

Speaker 1 We'll be in the band. We'll be in the you'll be in your bed in Houston.
I'll be in my bed in L.A. We FaceTime and side to side.
And let's do like, let's whisper a good night to each other. Okay.

Speaker 1 Would that be nice? Yeah. I'll go a little a little love in there.
Mm-hmm. God, wow.
You look like you got soft lips.

Speaker 1 He does.

Speaker 1 I just got so uncomfortable. I don't know why.
You got excited. You look like you're a good kisser.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, pretty good. But you know, that's how dare you, too, you know? Hey, it's like a...
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know what? Your lips look nice. Thank you.

Speaker 1 He's blushing.

Speaker 1 I'm actually blushing. Yeah, it's wild.
Yeah, it's wild. It looks like you you drank alcohol.
No, he's pitching a tent. Stand up.
Check him. Uh-uh.

Speaker 1 What if I was hard right now? Oh, that'd be so burnt. We wouldn't be able to tell.
Don't worry.

Speaker 1 Dude,

Speaker 1 dude, you're so on it today. Thank you, sir.
Fucking the sumo joke was great. Great.
Yeah, yeah. I'm 280.
That was good. Yeah.
Small dick now. Great.
Yeah, I love it. He's it.
He's

Speaker 1 all over the fucking place. You know what I mean? Tell me why you can't sleep.
What's um,

Speaker 1 I have sleep apnea.

Speaker 1 What's the fuck?

Speaker 1 What? Yeah, you do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you do. What? What? You definitely have sleep apnea.
No, but here's what the deal, dude.

Speaker 1 You know what sleep apnea is?

Speaker 1 Yeah, like where you can't sleep. No, you.
Yeah, Sketch, that is right. That is right.
Oh, but no, where you're asleep and then you can't breathe. You stop breathing.

Speaker 1 You stop breathing and then you just kind of wake up. Yeah, sometimes you go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I gasp for air

Speaker 1 it's the first time you ever laugh

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 it gives you joy when i struggle for breath hey yeah sometimes yeah no i'm just kidding no so i'm so what i do so but what what's great about my situation is so i'll just set my clock at 3 p.m

Speaker 1 Why don't you just get a sleep apnea machine? I won't. I refuse.
Get one. We'll buy him one.
No, I refuse. Yeah,

Speaker 1 is that a sleep machine? That goes on your...

Speaker 1 You want one of those? Yeah, I'll take two of them. What? That's a wiener machine.
One for me and one for my friend. Do you want a wiener machine? Sure.

Speaker 1 We have like 100 of them. How much was that? I don't know.
They gave me. Hundreds of dollars, but you can have that for free.
Okay, let's go. Okay.
Have you used a wiener machine?

Speaker 1 They used to call me the wiener machine. Yeah, that's true.
High school.

Speaker 1 So I'll tell you why we can sleep. So what I do now is I.

Speaker 1 Dude, come on, dude. That's insane.
That's what you need.

Speaker 1 Is that what you need? Yeah, I'm not wearing that. Did you get one of those? That's what you need.
But Joe Coy wears that. I'm not wearing it.
No, he doesn't. Yeah, he does.
Oh, wow. He showed me.

Speaker 1 I'm not wearing that. Okay.
So here's the two. So

Speaker 1 I wake up later so that when I wake up from a sleep apnea breath thing, I go back to bed. I go, since I don't have any time to wake up, I can just relax and go, I'll just sleep whenever.

Speaker 1 Right. And then here's another second thing I've been doing is I've been controlling the ants.

Speaker 1 Oh, you got to control the ants finally.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you guys know this, but

Speaker 1 because of the heat, there's a war.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 And I'm telling you right now, I'm winning it. And I'll tell you what I'm doing.
I got three things. I got three devils.
What do you got? No, the dirt devil. Oh, the dirt devil.

Speaker 1 I get it.

Speaker 1 All right. You have three vacuums.
I bought three of them. You could have just bought one and used it in a bot.
No. No? No, I need three.
You position them? Yes. So they're in post.

Speaker 1 He sets them up like a podcast. That's exactly right.
One straight on, two for the city. I got three of them, right? I got probably 3,000 of the hotels.

Speaker 1 And hotels. Yeah, yeah.
Right. The traps.
Right. They have the sweet juice in it.
Yeah, I know it. You know it, right? It gets me sometimes.
And it's just hundreds of bottles of raid.

Speaker 1 And so you're raiding your whole house. Yeah, and I'm having a war, and I am winning this world war.
I bet you are. And sometimes, you know what I've been doing lately? What?

Speaker 1 Crushing it with my finger. You're a bad boy.
Yeah, I crush each one of them and I make a comment. What do you say? You want to fuck around with my fucking thick thumb or whatever.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, I go, what? That sounds like a fuck you. You know, I'll just say things.
You know what I mean? Yeah. Come into my house, bitch.
You know what I mean? Look at that.

Speaker 1 And I kind of, because they're strong. No.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they can hold 16 times their weight or whatever. I Googled it.
It's still, it's still 11,000. I know, but if you smash it just briefly, their little legs don't go, woo! Like that.

Speaker 1 No, I gotta get them. Pancake.
Pancake. I pancake them out.
I get it. Right? So.
Have you thought about

Speaker 1 hiring someone to do that? No, I will not. No, yeah.
So look at that. That's a fucking, that's a building.
Geeky. I know that's a lead, but that's like a human being lifting a building.

Speaker 1 It's like, it's, yeah, it's

Speaker 1 like whatever weights. 20 times their weight, they can lift.
Exactly. So, you know, so my point being is.
You know, you're 200,000 times its weight.

Speaker 1 No, I'm just, I'm just saying, like, you know what I mean? Can I just finish my thing or no? Please. All right.
So at nights, when I feel like the war is won.

Speaker 1 Are you talking about the dick machines right now? Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, no. I'm talking about the ants.
No, I'm fucking. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Once I've re and there's no ants inside, yeah, I go to, I can go to bed. So that's when the piece comes into play.
That's when the piece comes in play. I hate them so much.
Don't you hate ants?

Speaker 1 I don't really get them. And if I did, I would hire someone to come in and clean them up.
Okay, good. That's your thing.
You buy three dirt devils, you stay up all night. Yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah. Oh, but the dirt devils is great because it makes you feel like an X-Men.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like I'm storm or whatever. You know what I mean? And they go, what the fuck? You know what I mean? And they get sucked in.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And I love seeing them in the little fucking, what do you call it? The little chamber? A little window there.

Speaker 1 You don't know what the fuck to hit them. Oh, this is a little

Speaker 1 torturing. Yeah, yeah.
They fuck it, fucks him up, dude. The lead dynasty.

Speaker 1 Yeah, don't fuck with the lead dynasty. Don't fuck with the lead dynasty.
Yeah. Sketch, have you had fun on the show today? I've had a lot of fun.
Well, I probably thank you for coming on the show.

Speaker 1 That was so fun.

Speaker 1 Do you want to leave us with any words of wisdom from Sketch? And you want to impart anything on the crew before we let you go?

Speaker 1 Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Probably stay away from Loopu.
Yeah, Loopu. Stay away from Loop.

Speaker 1 Get the name right, Chachi. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Loop Loop. You fucked up.
Loop Loop. Hey, yeah.
Loop Loop. STML.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you're sexually attracted to me or friends. No, you just turned me on from a distance.

Speaker 1 Wow. Closer you.
That's a good compliment. From a distance.
Yeah, it looks good from afar. Yeah.
Yeah. You get closest to me.
I've been explored this since. I'm not really too.

Speaker 1 God just fucking you. No, no, it's a good one.
I love you. You're a good girl.
Dude, you know, you're a white version of me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Kind of. It's pretty sick.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, this is who I was at 25.
If you give me a mustache and...

Speaker 1 You'll be able to grow one one day. One day.
Yeah, yeah. I'm working on it.
You shave?

Speaker 1 I shaved like a month ago or something. Holy shit.
That's like you. Yeah.
Yeah. That thing took him for 52 years to get on his face.
Get him into a movie. I'd love to.
I'd love to get him in a movie.

Speaker 1 If him and I ever do a movie, you're in our movie. Okay.
You'll do it. What type of movie are we talking?

Speaker 1 Action. Action.
Action.

Speaker 1 Action comedy.

Speaker 1 Hey, look at it. Yeah, yeah.
We'll negotiate with the manager. He's right there.

Speaker 1 We'll get him a good role. No, I think the role is already, you're in a cage.

Speaker 1 No, this is. Yeah, no, no, no.
And we go, you want us to unleash the fucking fury? Yeah. Right? Unleash the virus? Yeah.
Why does it have to always go back to COVID?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's over.

Speaker 1 Some people don't think so. And now it's back.
Wow. Sketch as COVID.

Speaker 1 Well, give him a round of applause. That was fucking great.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much. Appreciate you.

Speaker 1 Just look into that camera and just say, thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 Just fire it. Yeah, whatever.
Thank you for being a bad friend. Love that.
Love it. Move.

Speaker 1 You know what I can't stand on fucking

Speaker 1 when I'm scrolling?

Speaker 1 Videos of the last day with their pet. Oh, I hate this.
I had to fucking swipe so fast. I hate it.

Speaker 1 I don't want to see that. It's always a white woman with a dog in her hand.
Yeah. And I know what video it is because

Speaker 1 they start crying, right? And then, and you can look at the dog and the dog just barely, you know what I mean? The dog's going,

Speaker 1 whatever they're doing. I saw one of those split screens on TikTok.
It was a one girl with her final day with the dog and the other one, an Asian guy, eating it.

Speaker 1 There it is. That's that.
No. Yeah, yeah.
I can't stand that video. I can't stand those videos.
I saw, you know what the worst one was?

Speaker 1 I saw a guy, and it would look like a beautiful video of just him with his dog. dog.
Yeah. But then at the very end, he goes, I'll miss you.
It's our final days. And I was like, oh, my.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I can't do it.

Speaker 1 Another one is

Speaker 1 pet negligence. What? What is this? Oh, like people leaving in the car and stuff? No, it's even worse.
Oh, no. I don't want to hear it.

Speaker 1 No, no, I'm just going to tell you. All right.
I'm just telling you what I don't like. Yeah.
All right. It's like whenever it's like, Fluffy, Fluffy, Fluffy.
And then the alligator eats it. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm like, what is Fluffy doing around an alligator? Why are you at the lake? Yeah, yeah. Fucking put a fucking leash.
Yeah, get a leash. If you know there's alligators, you put a leash.

Speaker 1 We had a scare, dude. I told you when I was back home, my dog, we had to take her to the

Speaker 1 emergency vet. Yeah.
She was puking and shitting blood. Which, oh, no.
Cubs. Yeah.
I got so scared. No, we had to take my dog to the vet because she was throwing up blood in the middle of the night.

Speaker 1 And then she was

Speaker 1 shitting blood.

Speaker 1 They got real scared. Oh, wow.
When was this? In Chicago. Just last week.
And then what happened? We took her to the vet. They ran all the tests.
They ran the x-ray.

Speaker 1 They did blood work, all that stuff. They think that she might have eaten something strange and it got into the lining of her stomach.
Oh, no. But we couldn't find out what it was.

Speaker 1 So then we changed her diet and did that whole thing with the rice and the pump and the thing. And then three days later, she was okay.
Oh, thank God. Dude.
Thank the Lord.

Speaker 1 In the middle of the night, I'm cleaning up blood out of my mom's carpet and I'm like bawling. I'm just bawling, cleaning up blood.
I'm like,

Speaker 1 are you really crying? Oh, yeah, hard. I was so scared.
I thought she was going to die. Wow.
She threw up blood all over the place. Incredible.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, God, please don't, don't, don't be something very serious. I was panicking.
Also,

Speaker 1 not cheap to take your dog to the vet. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Yeah.
Do you have pet insurance? Oh, no.

Speaker 1 What? You can get that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I got money.

Speaker 1 I just put cash down.

Speaker 1 Money. Look at a big money guy every day.
No, not big money. I'm just saying, like, what is it? Well, come on.
Guess how much it was for? A spleen was? Guess how much it was for. $2,000.
Huh?

Speaker 1 Spleen's two grand, grand, no? A spleen is two grand? I don't know if it's... Is it buying it on the black market? Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 X-rays and blood work. What was how much? $500.
Wow. How much? $1,200.
How much? $2,000. How much? $4,000.

Speaker 1 Get out.

Speaker 1 No, no, it's okay. What is it? $1,600.
Wow. I was like, oh, my...
God. Yeah, that's expensive.
For an x-ray and a blood and a thing?

Speaker 1 That's what I spend on postmates every day.

Speaker 1 Trust me. Here's another thing that scares me.
My brother, Steve,

Speaker 1 he'll send me photos of like two frogs.

Speaker 1 No, I'm not kidding you. I'm not fucking kidding you.
Dissecting them? No. No.
He has two frogs, and you can, then he'll zoom out, and there's like an aquarium that he had built. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 I don't want to. He's like, you've seen, you know, Charlie and Frankie.
You know what I mean? I just got them. And in my mind, I'm like, they're going to die.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 My brother's not going to be able to keep two frogs alive. No.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's like, why does he do that? He has a new dog now.
Well, what's the lifespan of a frog? Yeah, what is it?

Speaker 1 Of an average frog. He's got a dog? Yeah.

Speaker 1 One day to 30 years. Well,

Speaker 1 that's all life. That's a huge difference.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all life.
Yeah, that's us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here's another thing that I've discovered in Chinatown.

Speaker 1 They fucking paint and they sell turtles, right? Oh, I love that.

Speaker 1 They're painting their shell. It's like you paint your nails.
Yeah, but

Speaker 1 the paint's so toxic they die. Yeah, but I don't know.
Look at this

Speaker 1 beautiful shell.

Speaker 1 Is this the thing that's going on? That's what I saw. Turtle painting?

Speaker 1 What is that? A painted turtle? Yeah. It's kind of like when you see someone dye all their turtle.
It is beautiful. Why do they dye their dog's hair? You know, people do that? You see that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's that about? I don't like that. I don't like that at all.
Yeah, yeah. There's no way the dog likes that.
They don't like it. I don't want to be dyed.
It doesn't want to be dyed.

Speaker 1 Or like poodles where they shave the sides, but they get the back puffy.

Speaker 1 No one gives a fuck. Cut it out.
Yeah, yeah. Unless they want to get an award.
You can get awards for those. The dog shows.
Yeah, yeah. I don't like the dog shows.
Oh my god. This is the painted.

Speaker 1 It's a painted donkey as a zebra.

Speaker 1 Oh my god. Mexico is awesome.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And his fucking butthole is all blasted out, probably.

Speaker 1 For no reason.

Speaker 1 No, there's a reason. Why did you assume it was Mexico? It said Mexico.

Speaker 1 It said Mexico on it.

Speaker 1 You're the only fuckers that do that. Zoom in.
That box says Mexico.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It says Mexico and says tequila on the hat behind it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. How much more obvious could it be?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 If we can make the announcement now, if you'd like to, we are all, we are, as of 2025, going to fire all three of you. Yeah.
Finding new blood. So

Speaker 1 people at home, if you would like to be a new blood and replace one of these three guys, please.

Speaker 1 Carlos at the booth. Carlos at the booth at gmail.com.
Yeah. Please send an email over why you think you should replace one of these morons at Carlos in the booth, at the booth.
In the booth.

Speaker 1 Carlos in the booth. Thank you, Fancy.
That's another reason you're getting fired.

Speaker 1 carlos in the booth at gmail.com i have a side note question

Speaker 1 if i may you always may thank you

Speaker 1 so um i've been hiking and i've been hiking far can i ask go ahead you hiked once no you hike many many times okay and i've been eating the same but i'm not losing any weight what's going on let's talk about what you're eating no i'm eating the same Eating the same what?

Speaker 1 Bread. The whole bread the whole time? While you're hiking? Well, I've been like...

Speaker 1 you'll eat a loaf of bread while you hike. No, no, no, no.
What I'm saying is I'm eating as much as I have been eating. And that's the problem.
Right.

Speaker 1 But then I'm like, oh, well, then I'll just incorporate long hikes every day. You have to change the diet and exercise.
It's both. It's not just one.

Speaker 1 So what you're saying to me is if I eat the same and no matter how much I exercise, I'm still going to be fat? Let me give you something that's going to blow your mind.

Speaker 1 Most of the time, it's all diet. It's all diet.
Almost always. Then don't exercise.
It's not going to kill you to not, but it's going to to kill you. But it's not going to do anything.

Speaker 1 But if you keep eating at the same rate, it will kill you. Okay.

Speaker 1 My wife's boss died at 93 years old. He never exercised a day in his life.
It's all the but he ate right.

Speaker 1 He ate great. He just ate like healthy, and that's it.
So I tried to do the whole all-meat thing. It's very difficult.
It's gross. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just meat, just beef all day. Yeah.
It's gross. It's pretty difficult.
Your shits stink. They do stink.
Yeah. And it gurgles my stomach.
Yeah, you get gurgly, burgly. Yeah, yeah.
You can't have that.

Speaker 1 I'm just trying different things, but it's like, you know, I love the bread.

Speaker 1 Let's do the diet of the blue zones, like legumes, a lot of beans. Are you eating beans? No.
You got to eat beans. Why? Everybody in the blue zones eats them.
Okay. The blue zone diet.

Speaker 1 See, a lot of these guys, it's wild. Oh, give me the blue zone.

Speaker 1 It's a lot of plant-based fruits, vegetables, beans, tofu, lentils, nuts, seeds, rich with disease-fighting nutrients, are the cornerstone of their diets.

Speaker 1 When they eat meat, fish, eggs, dairy, they treat it as a condiment rather than the feature. But then Dane's wrong.

Speaker 1 Who's wrong? Dane. Who is that?

Speaker 1 Cook. Oh, the cook is wrong.
He was like, just eat. Six months, I've only been eating meat.
Maybe it works for him. So I'm like, oh, should I do it? Yeah, yeah, trust me.
Well, that's the problem.

Speaker 1 He's a cook, not a chef. You got to listen to a chef.
Oh.

Speaker 1 No, he. Dane Chef.
Dane Chef. Yeah, yeah.
Have you met him? I've never met Dane Chef. Oh, I know Dane Chef well.
I'll introduce you.

Speaker 1 That's the issue, though. We should be eating more of that.

Speaker 1 Okay. And treat meat like a side item, not the main core, not the main star.

Speaker 1 So have a little bit of meat, but have a lot more of the other stuff.

Speaker 1 Okay, what's that? Air one granola. They have a bunch of this stuff.
No, I go to, I have air one granola at home. What do you want me to do with it? Throw it away.
Oh, I throw it away. Throw it away.

Speaker 1 Why? Stop filled with sugar and bullshit. Throw that shit away.
But can't you get like seeds and nuts and stuff from Air One? So here's the deal.

Speaker 1 You want to really set it up? Yeah. Go through a Blue Zone diet, like an actual grocery list, and buy it for him and see if it works for a week.
This is all I need.

Speaker 1 This is

Speaker 1 me. I need you forever.
God bless you. Yeah, but aside from you.
Okay. What I need is somebody to go, this is all you're eating today.

Speaker 1 Yes, let's get you up.

Speaker 1 And I'm always like, I'll go, okay, I'll just eat this.

Speaker 1 I don't know where to go for that.

Speaker 1 That's what he needs.

Speaker 1 Not a private chef. No, no, no, not a chef, but just someone that's a nutritionist.

Speaker 1 I think we help change the diet. Yeah.
It'll get us over the edge. Yeah.
Don't you guys think so? I think so. I think we get a little diet change.
Okay. And that's going to be it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Tell me what you ate today. Let's go through it.

Speaker 1 Oh, so I i went to kins kinzik chicken kinzik chicken or um i'll show you it's so good

Speaker 1 it's called have him bring it up what is it called kitsu wait

Speaker 1 city chicken no that's i just did they say city i didn't say city dog yeah kim's here it's called kismet kismet kismet like a uh romantic meetup yeah kismet chicken yeah so good dude okay look at the look at the look at that yeah rotisserie chicken good for you yeah so you had chip what did you have though So I had

Speaker 1 that.

Speaker 1 That meal. Did you eat the bread?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I ordered two breads. Right.
So let's stop that part. Just eat the chicken and the veg.
I know the bread is so good, though. I'm sure it is.
The hummus. I'm sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I ate that, and that was really good. Okay, that's all you eat.

Speaker 1 Yeah, look at that.

Speaker 1 You should eat there. You know what that is? No, it looks good.
But what I would suggest is smaller meals. Just a bunch of smaller meals.
That's what they say. I don't know.

Speaker 1 How about we try him fruit till noon? You know this guy? Fruit till noon. There's a guy that only eats fruit till noon.

Speaker 1 You go to fruit till noon, and then you eat a meal. There he is.
And he looks great. Okay.
Fruit till noon. Is that acai?

Speaker 1 I don't know if that's the guy.

Speaker 1 That's not the guy. Yeah, I don't like that guy.
Poppy doesn't wake up till 3 p.m.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so he's eating fruit till noon.

Speaker 1 Oh, here's another thing that I think is the reason why I've been gaining weight is acai balls. Sugar.
Yeah. A lot of sugar.
And there's this one, which is my favorite one, but I think it's too much.

Speaker 1 It's too sweet. And I've been eating maybe one or two of them a day.
Don't eat. With the peanut butter and with all the fruits in it, too, and the granola.

Speaker 1 It's so sweet. You don't eat it.
It's so good, but I don't think that's the problem. Yeah.
What about... And I think I have, and I don't know if I have to cut this out, but I have an issue.
What?

Speaker 1 Black toe.

Speaker 1 You got black toe? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let me see. You can't see because I covered it with fucking toenail polish.
How did you get black toe?

Speaker 1 Repeated trauma? Yeah, I hit it and then it won't heal. It's been six months, it's black.

Speaker 1 Gout? No, it's not gout. It's not gout.
It's the medieval. What are you talking about? My college roommate had gout.
Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can get it anyway. It's not nail fungus.
Let's move on.