Bobby Out Raps mgk

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 1 BadFriendsMerch.com!

Speaker 1 We got new shirts. What are these shirts from? Look at Lil Baby Bobby on the cover of what was the Nirvana album.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 When I was a senior in high school, this album came out. It really influenced me.
And I was in kindergarten. We love this album.
This is an homage. It's a tip of the hat to...

Speaker 1 Never mind Nirvana. Also, we have posters.

Speaker 1 You don't have to buy just the shirt of this. You can buy the poster.
If you want to hang that in your

Speaker 1 wall,

Speaker 1 hang it in your wall. Hang it in your wall.
Hang it in your wall, right inside of your wall. Go to badfriendsmerch.com, badfriendsmerch.com.

Speaker 1 Hey, bad friends, I'm on tour in the fall, gearing up to shoot my hour. I'm going to be in Frank, California, Indianapolis, Charlotte, Waukee, Omaha, Kansas City, Cleveland, St.

Speaker 1 Louis, Grand Rapids, Detroit, New Orleans, San Antonio, Chicago, Durham, Atlanta, Charleston, Philly, New York, Phoenix, San Francisco, San Diego, Boston, and Minneapolis.

Speaker 1 Go to AndrewSantino.com for those tickets. AndrewSantino.com.
You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Speaker 1 White dude and an Asian dude.

Speaker 1 You two are disgusting.

Speaker 1 We're bad friends. I wonder if there's like nepotism in porn.

Speaker 1 Like Ron Jeremy's son has a small

Speaker 1 Let's not talk about Ron Jeremy. He's in prison.
Is that how you want to start today? John Holmes. John Holmes.
He's dead.

Speaker 1 Give me one alive porn star. Male.
Yeah. Rocco Sig Freddy.
What? Rocco Sig Freddy. Who's that? Rocco Sig Sig Freddy? Yeah, this is the biggest one.
Italian.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's an Italian. That's a woman, dude.

Speaker 1 Rocco Sig Freddy is an Italian pornographic actor. Wow.
Let me know your male porn stars.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was a really.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I get it. I've seen him in the movies.
He's so good. You've seen this guy, though.
I've seen him. Colson, have you seen that guy in porn? I guess.

Speaker 1 It's just his face, so it's hard to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have to see his dick. Right.
I have to see the dick. Yeah, yeah.
That's funny.

Speaker 1 I only look at their face. When they go to talk, I look away.
There it is. Does that look familiar? Yeah, right.
Yeah, I know Coleson. I know.
I mean, not Colson. I'm going to say Colson.

Speaker 1 I know it, dude. I know.
That's your dick.

Speaker 1 It's got to be similar size. Yeah.
That's got to be. That's 10 and a half is huge.
One time I was back in the day when there was no internet. Yeah.
And you'd have to go to the...

Speaker 1 I lived in San Diego, so I had to go to the F Street bookstore. That was the porn bookstore? Yeah, and then in the back, they have the videos, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And the one time I was like, this is good, right? I was like jerking out feverishly.

Speaker 1 because you also, I didn't have a lot of money, so there's a timer, you have to do it feverishly, you're racing against the clock, right?

Speaker 1 And then there was like one, this guy was from behind a girl, and I was doing feverish, and then they panned out with two dudes. And then, right, one, right when I saw it was two dudes, I nutted.

Speaker 1 It's a little too late, anyway. You want to introduce our guests? Yeah, let's start new.
Yes, introduce our guests.

Speaker 1 Do I realize? Are you Slenderman? Anyone that's moving on?

Speaker 1 He's got a Slenderman-y. You hear me? Anyway, anyway, so

Speaker 1 I know you. You saved my friend's life, by the way.
That's right. Oh, that was right.
That was my life. It was the wildest.
I have a gift for you.

Speaker 1 I've never seen someone passed out for so long in my life. Oh, wow.
And I brought back your sweater. I told you,

Speaker 1 okay, I'll take it. I thought that was a nice.
I thought it's a give and it's a get. We have a sweater for you.
Ryan, come give him one of ours. Does it have your puke on it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Puke and piss. So we got Colson.
MGK is. Give him our MGK and MGK is enough.
Give him a round of applause.

Speaker 1 So, MGK, Colson, from your point of view, tell me the story, what you saw that. So, Andrew was, okay, go ahead.

Speaker 1 It was just,

Speaker 1 he was so normal. And this is what I talked about after you were in the bathroom with Megan.
I was like, but he was so coherent, right? Like, how did, how did, what was he,

Speaker 1 did you hear anything I said? We had like a 40-minute talk before the plane took off. Dude, the whole time I was thinking,

Speaker 1 I'm about to throw up, so I hope I don't throw up in the middle of this conversation. And in my mind, I thought, I'm going to be talking to him, and I'm going going to look over at Megan.

Speaker 1 She's going to smile, and I'm going to throw up

Speaker 1 all over her. That was my biggest fear.
If I puked on you, I thought, fine, sure, sure. Homie's fine, no big deal.
And then the whole time, I was like, man, I'm not feeling good.

Speaker 1 But it wasn't like a communicable sick. I just felt wrong.
By the way, it was just one of the most.

Speaker 1 For someone who I just met for the first time, I asked you an absurd amount of questions, too. So it was just a little bit.
Were you a fan of - you knew who ended up doing it. For sure, for sure.

Speaker 1 And I've watched the show, but

Speaker 1 it was just like such an overloaded with questions, conversation that I normally wouldn't even be hitting people with. So the fact that I chose the most like

Speaker 1 so sick, dude, for four days after that,

Speaker 1 so I had a gastrointestinal bug. I lost nine pounds.
What was it? Nine pounds. I was on the toilet for four days straight.
I went to the hospital twice.

Speaker 1 That's the first time I ever had to help someone get like an oxygen tank out of like the secret compartment in an airplane.

Speaker 1 I ripped through three of them, dude. She couldn't reach it.
And so I was like, I just became involved at that point. It was wild.
What a good dude. Because if I saw him, even do we have a podcast?

Speaker 1 I wouldn't ignore him. I would have been like, I don't know him.
Is that a good bit? Part of it was also.

Speaker 1 Is that a good bit? Yeah, it's a good bit. Yeah, it's not.
It's not a good bit. You'd be so concerned for me.
No, I don't think so, dude. He was talking to me.

Speaker 1 And then he came to the bathroom and he was like, are you okay? Are you okay, dog? Is it a good bit? And I was like, I don't think so.

Speaker 1 Wow. But I also was like, I don't want you here right now because I was so embarrassed already.
Yeah, yeah. And I was like, man, of all people, why did he have to be on the flight? The funny thing was

Speaker 1 there was a lady in the back whose only concern was that she had to use the coach bathroom, that you were blocking up the only first-class bathroom. Really?

Speaker 1 There was a lady that was back there. That's garbage.
She was like, is that your friend? So, like, I mean, how long do you think? Because

Speaker 1 he's in the only bathroom I can use. I'm like, oh, there's a bathroom back there.
She was like, I paid for these seats. I love it.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 That's a bad human being. That's a bad human being.
You can't beat me.

Speaker 1 That would have been me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. By the way, I would have just sat next to the toilet and be like, go ahead, just go right next to me.
No, you would let me, right? 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, they gave me Narcan and everything. So you also gave him your sweatshirt? Yeah.
Yeah, when I walked up to the bathroom, he looked up and he was like, oh, dog. And it was just puke everywhere.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. And so, yeah, I just.
Why are you laughing at your boss?

Speaker 1 Yeah, don't do that. It's not.

Speaker 1 Strike one, man. That's strike one.
Keep it up. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, he offered me a sweater, which was so nice, and I literally said, because I took off my sweater, and then he goes, do you want my sweater? I was like, no, dude, I have piss and puke all over me.

Speaker 1 And he goes, dude, I don't give a shit. And that's when I fell in love.
Bro. Piss and puke.
I was like, I didn't care at all. Bro, not only you look like Slender Man,

Speaker 1 but also

Speaker 1 you have a, probably, I've never seen your genitals, but probably great. Huge.

Speaker 1 You're a very talented musician. But now we know that you're a good human being.
Oh, man. And so it just puts flutterly butterflies in my mind.

Speaker 1 Give him a round of applause. So great.

Speaker 1 You know, you have a wraith. I have three wraiths at home.
You guys have a Chinese cat. I was just shooting a video with the Chinese cat.
I just did this arm pump, and then I was like,

Speaker 1 that's what I'm doing. The Chinese cat.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought you pointed me and calling me a Chinese cat. Yeah.
You did. You are my Chinese cat.
What?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 The Japanese cat. I don't.
Yeah, no, no. It's okay, Colson.
I call them Ching Chong cats, too.

Speaker 1 All right. Chat cats.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, first of all,

Speaker 1 cat, I mean, what's the obsession with cats with Asia?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I mean, you're not going to mortalize dogs because you're not going to frame food, you know? Oh, God.

Speaker 1 What is the obsession?

Speaker 1 What is the obsession with it? It's funny because we've had this since we started the show.

Speaker 1 This was on our desk when we started the show four years ago, and

Speaker 1 it's never left for some reason. It's been a while.
Well, I went to an island in Japan where the whole island was only cat statues. It was thousands and thousands of people.
Which island?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Were there cats?

Speaker 1 No. But in my house, there's a bunch of cats.
Bro, how many do you have? I have three. He's got three.
Bro, bro, he's got three. Bro, Colson.
Bro, bro. You have three cats? Bro.

Speaker 1 Bro, there's something. No, no, no, no, no, no, not yet.
No. But, bro, let me say something that says a lot about you.
And it says a lot about me as well. We're big dick people.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're big dick people.
No, I don't know if that's what it means. Right? Marlon Brando had cats.
Sick. Big dick guy.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I'm going to say, let me just say something to you, everyone in this room. Okay.
I'm tired of people calling me a small little dick guy. Yeah, dude.
It's not.

Speaker 1 It's not right. It's not right.
It's not wrong or right. First of all, yeah, yeah.
It is right. It's not right.
It's right. No.
I'll tell you why. It's right.
No.

Speaker 1 I have a girl, lady friend. And she validated you now.
She's like, dude, you have medium. Great.
No, we measured it and everything. Dude, now we can

Speaker 1 fucking hide it.

Speaker 1 Dude, I'm a medium dick, dude. Medium, dude.

Speaker 1 You upgraded, dude. That's That's an upgrade.

Speaker 1 That's an upgrade. I'm tired of the shit, dude.
You are the one that perpetuates it. My feet are nine.

Speaker 1 Size.

Speaker 1 Why are you laughing, dude?

Speaker 1 My feet are size nine.

Speaker 1 It's all connected. It's a good thing.
Let's move on from it. I don't want to talk about my genitals again.
You brought it up. I know.
I write. I'm just sorry.
I don't know. He just.

Speaker 1 What's the name of your cats? You want to name your cats? Whiskey, tickets, and Navi. Oh, that's right.

Speaker 1 Tickets is.

Speaker 1 You want to know mine? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Ming, Gooner, and Bojo.

Speaker 1 One more time? Ming,

Speaker 1 Guner, Guner, and Bojo. And Bojo.
Okay, so yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gooner after Arsenal, the soccer team.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Ming after his mom, who passed away, and she came back to life as the cat, we think. No, she's still alive.
She is? Yeah, yeah. I don't know what to laugh at.

Speaker 1 And then we have Bojo, which is Bobby Jr. That's right.
And we call him Bojo.

Speaker 1 And he looks the most like him. He's fat.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, they have the same vibe. What do you mean? He doesn't do shit.
That's right. Right.

Speaker 1 He's the sleepiest, the laziest. Yeah, and it's like, you know,

Speaker 1 they think they're going to circus away or something. My cats.
They're ruining his entire house. Yeah, like on top of the fridge.

Speaker 1 I buy them beds, but still, they're just sleeping on top of the fridge, like half the body, you're dangling. Do your cats do that? They sleep wherever they want.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's eight million beds they choose, like cardboard boxes with towels and right, yeah.

Speaker 1 So do you buy fancy or not? No, what do you say?

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, stop, stop, stop. You understood what I said.

Speaker 1 Do you buy fancy? Yeah, like, thank you. The food?

Speaker 1 No, he means. No, no.
Do you buy fancy? These are fancy beds. Absolutely.
Sorry, I'm yelling. Yeah, these are gas.

Speaker 1 You're right, you're right. For sure.
You save my friends. I buy, like, ridiculous cat beds.
They have, like, palm trees. Yeah.
Elevated palms. Right.

Speaker 1 I have those too, but I find that whenever I buy a fancy thing, they rather go

Speaker 1 the furnace or whatever. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you find that or no? Why? I do.
Why do you think that? He built a cat sanctuary in his backyard.

Speaker 1 And they haven't been in there. How much was it? Tell them how much

Speaker 1 10, 15 grand. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And they don't ever go out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Literally ever once. I don't think I've seen a cat in your house outside of your house.
They haven't.

Speaker 1 But I want to say this, Colson, from now on, okay,

Speaker 1 can you understand me now? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, I love you. I love this guy.

Speaker 1 I've met Rand into you a couple of times now. Yeah.
Where? Comedy store? In the main room. Yeah.
Backstage. Backstage, yeah.
There's never a rapport between, because I think it's, I'm scared.

Speaker 1 Why is that? Because you're at Machine Gun Kelly. I'm like,

Speaker 1 I think you're intimidating. You're intimidated a little bit, but now that we broke this barrier, now there's going to be, what's, you know, in front of everybody, what's up? You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 What's up, Colson? I can call you Colson. He's working on his hip-hop presence.
He wants to be.

Speaker 1 Is this working? That might make me like... Nah, nah, shit.
Colson?

Speaker 1 Player?

Speaker 1 Lace up, dog. Lace up.

Speaker 1 What do you think about

Speaker 1 Bob

Speaker 1 blacking out an arm? You've talked about this. Yeah?

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 you're going for your full. Yeah, Yeah.
I've left I've left windows to the olds, but uh

Speaker 1 are you is this a joke? No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. No, no, he's talked about blacking out an arm.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Just one.

Speaker 1 What do you think of me blacking out?

Speaker 1 An arm, I mean.

Speaker 1 I think it would look bad. You do? Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, yeah. I will be upset if you do the go-to-sleep thing to get it.
I think that's super lame.

Speaker 1 What do you mean, people pass out when they do it? No, when people get put under to get the tattoos. Oh, that's a thing? I don't know about that.
No, that's that. Those are for weaklings.

Speaker 1 That's how part of the culture is to earn it, you know? Dude, I earn my pain. Yeah, yeah.
So I think it'd be sick.

Speaker 1 What if I did the face? Would that be black face? That would be a very bad, bad decision.

Speaker 1 Well, if you did it, it'd be brack face. It would be.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Oh, I can't do brock face? No breakfast. No breakfast for you, buddy.
No way. But I mean, would it be? Because if you can tattoo the olf arm, why can't you do that?

Speaker 1 That's black arm. Yeah.
I can't do black face. Brack.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I think it's just this. All right.
Anything about? What do you want half?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you'd be half bracket? Yeah, half brock brahma.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Anyway, what are you doing, dude? He's rolling up some.
I'm really bad, like, uh, anxiety.

Speaker 1 Oh, you do?

Speaker 1 Do you want to

Speaker 1 public speaking and anxiety, so I just have to do something with my hands. I'm just rolling a cigarette.
Oh, really? I like it. I mean, I have pre-rolled.
You don't like these? I like those.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the yellow box.
Why does yours have trees and flowers on them? Because I special order them from American Spirit. I don't do standard.
Cool. I mean, I want fancy.

Speaker 1 He's got to stand out. He likes the nicest version of the nicest thing.
Right. Needs to have it.
I need the nicest one.

Speaker 1 Have you ever thought? Nothing on the face, though. You won't do it.
You know,

Speaker 1 I don't think so. I have stuff on my head.
You know, like if you shave my head, you'll see, you'll uncover things like a hidden treasure.

Speaker 1 What is it? Treasure? Like messages? Yeah, I shave my head to find them. All right, right.
But are there messages? Yeah. Whoa.

Speaker 1 You know what would be dope a treasure map buried under your hair? That'd be sick.

Speaker 1 And then when you die, like if you hid your money somewhere, tattooed the map to your head, and then when you die, then they can shave it and unearth this. Wow.

Speaker 1 That should be sick. Yeah, we should really do it.
But would you have like...

Speaker 1 No, you know what I would do?

Speaker 1 No, fuck that shit. Right? Because you're going to do.
Wait, fuck my idea. You just said yes, it was great.
No, no, no, no, no, no, make it better. Okay.
Can I make your idea better? Please.

Speaker 1 all right, you can't make it that easy. You can't go Peoria, Illinois, you know, vault or whatever, whatever, right? No point, right? What you do, you do landmarks.
Oh, right, right.

Speaker 1 So, what you do is like, you know, I mean, some like

Speaker 1 the St. Louis Arch.
There it is.

Speaker 1 Fuck, bro.

Speaker 1 That's exactly what I was doing, the St. Louis Arch.
That does look like that. Right.
What's that one?

Speaker 1 Upside down. Flip it.

Speaker 1 No, but we're not here. Yeah, but imagine we flipped.
This is a new symbol. What is that? What is this new symbol? That's obviously Cairo, Egypt.

Speaker 1 Bro, dude.

Speaker 1 Dude, my fucking symbols are working today, dude. Give me one more.
Give him. Oh, what's that one? That's the leading tower of Pisa.
That's right. Dude, fuck.

Speaker 1 You and I should go on a game show, dude. Whatever that is.
What is that? Some game show that they have.

Speaker 1 Is there a

Speaker 1 give me one more? What?

Speaker 1 That's racist.

Speaker 1 That's my dad.

Speaker 1 That's my dad now. But anyway,

Speaker 1 wow. Give me a symbol.
Let Let me see if I can do it.

Speaker 1 That's Beirut.

Speaker 1 No. That's the Parthenon.
Bam. Oh, not Beirut? Now it's Parthenon, dude.

Speaker 1 I think my problem is... Do you know where the Parthenon is? I don't know.
I don't think I know any landmarks. But let me try another one.
Let me try another one. Empire States Buildings.
Multiple?

Speaker 1 All three of them. Well, they took down two of them, didn't they? Yeah, they did.

Speaker 1 Fuck. Let me put this back on.

Speaker 1 I know you're excited for him today. By the way, he's so excited to see you today.
I'm so excited.

Speaker 1 Because he gets a little sweaty and jumpy when he gets excited for something he likes. I'm so excited about new people.

Speaker 1 I'm super nervous, so I hope that you don't.

Speaker 1 No, dude, you're killing it, and you're on the pocket, and no need to be. This is a shit.
I'll show you who's exponentially more nervous than you could ever be. Okay.
Right?

Speaker 1 Ryan, come here for a second. This is our intern Ryan.
Look at him. Ryan, do you know who MGK is? Of course, of course.

Speaker 1 What's one of your favorite songs by MGK? My favorite would be Invincible, the one you sang at WrestleMania. Yeah.
Oh, man. Thank you.
I watched that as a kid. I was a huge John Cena fan.

Speaker 1 That was the first time I got booed by 80,000 people. You kind of booed? Because

Speaker 1 you have to play into the storyline of The Rock versus John Cena. And I was bringing out John Cena, and it was in Miami and The Rock's hometown.

Speaker 1 And I thought it would be a really good idea to be like, fuck The Rock after I.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. And

Speaker 1 I just, you know. But they boo, but they love you.
No, it's love. It's the heel.
It's the heel theory, right? It's like you become the enemy. So you're a hardcore John Cena fan?

Speaker 1 I was growing up, yeah. You're still growing up.
What the fuck are you talking about? You're not grown yet. Who else did you like growing up? Like wrestlers? No, just in general.

Speaker 1 I've always been into movies.

Speaker 1 He's like John Wayne Gacy. I love.
Yeah. I'm in a movie with John Cena about to come out.
What is it called? What's it called? It's called Jackpot. Jackpot.

Speaker 1 I'm in there for Jackpot.

Speaker 1 Aquafina's in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we love her.
I love Nora. She's so cool.
Did you work with her? I did.

Speaker 1 I love Nora. She's the best.
Wait, oh, I thought I saw a trailer for this. Yeah, I'm in it very shortly.
I don't don't want to pitch it as if I'm

Speaker 1 a character. But you know who else is in this? That's my cameo right there.
The top left. Top left.
Click on the room. Whoa, let me see.
That's my MGK room. That's why it's pink.
Wow.

Speaker 1 And that's my signature guitar right there.

Speaker 1 Is that your arm? Whose arm is that? Unfortunately, I'm not that buff.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh-oh. Wait a minute.
Is that your actual guitar in the show? That's my actual guitar in the middle. You rock it.

Speaker 1 When you do something like this, right? Like if you do a shoot, whether it's a film or a music video or anything like that, do you always dress it with your shit?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 the joke was that I was playing MGK in the movie.

Speaker 1 So I was myself, which, of course, upset a lot of people. And by a lot, I mean like two bad comments, but you know.

Speaker 1 No, MGK, when you're on a movie set, when you're acting, do you get nervous or

Speaker 1 you're good?

Speaker 1 I get more nervous for stuff like this, like quick cameos, because you only have like, you know, what, two minutes to like make an impression on an hour-long movie. So

Speaker 1 yeah, yeah. Yeah.
I was on a show called Sean Saves the World. Yeah.
It was a sitcom. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I had, so there was a, he opens the door. I have to say a line quickly.
What's the line? I forgot. Yeah.
Like, probably something like, hey, how are you? That's right.

Speaker 1 But I just kept repeating the line in my mind. And, you know, it's in front of a live audience.
And as soon as the door, yeah, that. I was on that.
As soon as the door opened, I go, how,

Speaker 1 because I thought about it. I guess some audiences probably understood it.
I know, they redid it. Right.
But I got.

Speaker 1 Well, as a director, would you have me do it over again? I'd have fired you on the spot. You would have fired me? Was this a multicam? Yeah.
Fired him. Look at me, dude.
Look at me, dude. Handsome.

Speaker 1 Because you've got to be so on point for multi-cam. You got to be...

Speaker 1 But do I look nervous there? 100%. I do, and I'm petrified.
Yeah, you're staring right at me. I have a question.
Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 1 So on like Fresh Prince of Bel Air and sitcoms, like when the audience is laughing, there's an actual audience there? There is. And then

Speaker 1 what they call sweeten it. So they sweeten it.
They sweeten it. They put more laughs on top of the laughs.

Speaker 1 So what if you have to do a take six times? It has to be funny six times? No, they do do a take six times. Then sometimes they just interject more laughs into where it is.

Speaker 1 But also the audience gets it.

Speaker 1 Right? So they kind of pretend. They play along almost.
That's

Speaker 1 it. It's like they should be.
Pretty positive. What? It's like this show.
We laugh all the time. We're going to turn off your mic any second.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Keep that bullshit.
Yeah, it's bullshit then, what you're doing. No, but this is what's interesting about that world that you're asking is like

Speaker 1 people go to a taping expecting one thing.

Speaker 1 They're like, we're going to be there for the recording of this show, like as if it would be a 30-minute taping. No, they're there for hours and hours and hours.
It's 10-hour event. It's a long, long.

Speaker 1 It sucks. Because they're changing, and then when they change scenes and rooms, it's different stages.
So the audiences sometimes have to move. And it's way bigger than people think.

Speaker 1 And I think when people go once, that might be the last time they go. They're like, it was cool.
We saw it, but it's like a workday. Yeah.
You're watching people work.

Speaker 1 Or sometimes they're paid to be there. A lot of times they pay.
Yeah, they paper the room so they're like, I'm excited. What if it's a big show? If it's what? A big show.
Like, what? Give me a show.

Speaker 1 Boy Meets World. Yeah, they just.

Speaker 1 That's a big. That's what came to mind? Yeah.
I've never even heard of that. Who's that? Boy Meets World.
Boy Meets World? Yeah, you don't know Boy Meets World? Is it a white show?

Speaker 1 What the fuck do you do? It's definitely a white show for me. It's a white show.
Yeah, Boy Meets World. Yeah, I've heard of Seinfeld, friends.
Come on. Come on.
Just come on on MBC. Yeah, come on.

Speaker 1 It's a good show. Just pop out going, come on.
Come on. No.
What's Boy Meets World beat? Is it a black show? It's a white.

Speaker 1 No, there are black people in it. No, it's a very white show.
Okay, okay. So who's in it? Ben Savage, Fred Savage's brother.

Speaker 1 And that's Topanga right there.

Speaker 1 Oh, Fred Savage is there. Yeah.
I have a problem with him. No, that's Ben Savage.
That's a good thing. But like Martin, people come to, they just.
Martin, same thing. Yeah.
They would stay there.

Speaker 1 But the thing is, back then, it was much more like.

Speaker 1 It was a cultural thing. Right.
Slowly, multi-cams have, you know, become less and less popular. Now, single-camera television has taken over.
There's Boy Meets World. There's Boy Meets.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, I mean, now, I don't think they'd have to pay.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God, dude. What? I was watching Kirby Enthusiasm last night.
You're in it. I popped up in that.
Yeah. He's in it, too.

Speaker 1 You're in it. It's okay.
He needs the attention. You have to tell him.

Speaker 1 But did I get to the episode yet? I haven't seen you, Bobby, yet. Well, we haven't got to the episode.
No, what season did you see? I just saw him yesterday.

Speaker 1 If I wouldn't have put it on yesterday, I wouldn't have seen him in it. I'm so sorry, Bobby.
I'm about to see yours tonight, I'm sure. I'm sure it's great.
And it's probably better than Andrew.

Speaker 1 So that's all.

Speaker 1 What season is it, yours? This is like nine. Yeah.
You don't start with number one? You're in season one? I'm in season five or five. You're in season five? Yeah, yeah.
You don't start. Wait, wait.

Speaker 1 Dude, fuck you, Colson. Don't look away from me.
I'm not afraid. Wait, what happened? No, I'm going to tell you right now.
You're pissing me off right now. No, you're not.

Speaker 1 By the way,

Speaker 1 I hope he gets up and beats the fucking shit.

Speaker 1 But just tell me, season five. Look at how young I was.

Speaker 1 That was you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Back then, he was Chinese.
Yeah, he was Chinese

Speaker 1 Before he switched. Dude, I have totally seen.

Speaker 1 Dude, that's a hard.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Did you see this episode? Yes, I saw that episode. Yeah, and you don't think that was me? That's either you or Joe Coi.
That's Joe Coy. What are you ticking? What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Well, that doesn't look like you, Bob. That doesn't look like me.
That looks nothing like me. No, it doesn't.
He has no mustache. Put a mustache on that fucker.
Do your face. Do that face.

Speaker 1 No, you look different. No.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Different guy.
Yeah. That's me, dude.

Speaker 1 I'm putting a mustache on all of them. So did you see that episode? I did see that episode.
Okay, so now can you give me my props or no? Dude, 100%. Great job.
Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1 You were so brilliant. That's all I want.

Speaker 1 Go to the first picture.

Speaker 1 Okay, and go to the fourth picture.

Speaker 1 And I gotta ask you.

Speaker 1 Are you doing an eye thing on purpose on this thing? Is this like a thing you were doing the whole time? You're doing wide eye on this.

Speaker 1 This is round eye. Go to the first one? That's round eye shit the whole time.
But why does the left eye go in the opposite direction? Go to the fourth one.

Speaker 1 You see what I'm talking about? Oh, I see what you guys are doing. You're saying that Asians are cross-eyed.
No. No, no, no.
Yeah, clip that, dude. No.
Asians are cross-eyed or what?

Speaker 1 Well, you might be. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, no. Go big.
Go big.

Speaker 1 All right. Let me see your eyes.

Speaker 1 Let me see your eyes, Bob. Open them up, bud.
Yeah, they kind of go cross-eyed when you do that. Look at it.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 your left one leans in. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think what you're seeing, both of you.

Speaker 1 And I talked about who gets.

Speaker 1 I also knew this was going to happen. I knew this was going to team up.
I love it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's it.

Speaker 1 Next time, I'll get Stephen Yu and some of my guys.

Speaker 1 All right, you want me to bring my boys in? I'll bring my boys in, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Benedict Wong. I'll bring him on.
He would never come on the show. I think he would.

Speaker 1 To be fair, I have a big-ass left ear. So, like, if we're talking about the badges,

Speaker 1 your ears are hit with my ear. My left ear, yeah.
Yeah, hit him with the ears. Yeah, you're like half Dumbo, half.

Speaker 1 100%.

Speaker 1 I'm already on the same page. All right, dude.
Yeah, let's talk about you. You're just filters for sure.
My point is, is this. Also, this is, I'm scared.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're right. I'm young, I'm so young, right? I did

Speaker 1 when Kirb first started. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. So it's like, maybe that's what you're reading.
But anyway, let's move on from it. I was just kidding.
I was just fine. I want you to get your props.

Speaker 1 You're more talented and more Hollywood. Oh, no.
Come on.

Speaker 1 I like you, dude. You're my guy.
I'm certainly not more Hollywood than you. You might be the most Hollywood guy out of it.

Speaker 1 You're getting all sorts of work now, dude. Yeah, you do.
Anyway, let's talk about something else, man. What the fuck, man? Don't get nervous about it.

Speaker 1 Do you like jelly jelly?

Speaker 1 What'd you take? Like this? No, jelly.

Speaker 1 Jelly roll. Jelly roll.
Oh, I thought you meant picking.

Speaker 1 This is peanut butter and jelly. No, no, no, no.
What is that? Trader Joe's snacks. Peanut butter and jelly.
Really? Yeah. You already ate it? No,

Speaker 1 that's probably the best. I brought this just in case I got too nervous and I needed to do something.
Those are. Could I have one? I want to try it one.
Have you never had one of those?

Speaker 1 I want one of those, though. They're phenomenal.

Speaker 1 You know this? Oh, my gosh. This is the best thing I've ever had in my life.
Trader Joe's, baby. Okay.
They're undefeated.

Speaker 1 Dip in, dude. You don't want more jelly? Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Isn't that insane?

Speaker 1 God, those are good.

Speaker 1 It's so good. TJ's has by far the best snacks on planet Earth.
My daughter got. Well, my friend Ray got me hip to these, but my daughter is like a huge TJ snack person.

Speaker 1 They have the best snacks.

Speaker 1 I actually don't buy

Speaker 1 meals there as much as I buy bullshit. I buy snacks.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If your daughter got daddy.

Speaker 1 My daughter is grown. She's 14.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but let's just suppose.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 Daddy, good morning, Daddy. Now she's Asian.

Speaker 1 All right, let me white it up. No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 Well, my daughter's black, but

Speaker 1 oh, gee, really? Yeah. All right.
Oh, yeah, do that one, Bob.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with my original, right?

Speaker 1 Okay, go back to the original. Yeah, good.
Daddy,

Speaker 1 how are you today?

Speaker 1 How are you today? How you feeling today, Daddy?

Speaker 1 Good? And then what's the matter?

Speaker 1 Daddy, it's okay that I smoke weed in the house. What'd you say?

Speaker 1 You're an infant and you shouldn't be smoking what? What? Yeah, okay, good, good.

Speaker 1 I don't know because I think I would be the guy, like, you know, just do it in the house, right? I'm one of those guys. You're saying if your daughter was 14, if your kid was...

Speaker 1 If my kid was 14, I'd be like, yeah, just don't do it outside. I'll get you the stuff.
Do it in a controlled environment. When does that talk happen?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Yeah, that happened yeah or yeah yeah yeah

Speaker 1 so daddy can i get tattoos like you oh yeah what's a tattoo called what's that what's that what's that katak that one happened when she was really young she wanted to get tattoos and you said what

Speaker 1 when you're older i but i i also i just don't want to limit her you know creativity in any way so

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 i don't it really is if

Speaker 1 yeah as far as weed goes i mean a lot of this stuff she grew up just

Speaker 1 seeing.

Speaker 1 I didn't really hide who I was to her, and I also never really wanted to because I didn't want that

Speaker 1 to, I didn't want that from another person to like lure her, like the person of being like, oh, uh, you know, the perception of, oh, I want what I'm not supposed to have. It's almost like very just

Speaker 1 she could never be impressed by someone being like, I got cars and weed and

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 she's very

Speaker 1 comfortable in her own skin and a very strong, independent woman who is like,

Speaker 1 you know, I come from a father who gives me flowers and tells me how beautiful I am and, you know, is very open about

Speaker 1 his lifestyle to where that doesn't impress me. Like, I need someone who's going to, you know, court me and all that.

Speaker 1 She needs genuine.

Speaker 1 None of the bullshit can impress her because she's you've you've not tried to pretend like that's not a reality. For sure.
Yeah. But if,

Speaker 1 you know, I would assume

Speaker 1 she's going to want to smoke weed at some point. You know, like I'd rather like just I'd rather get her some get her the weed and it be like not laced and shitty from some sketchy person.

Speaker 1 Because the other side of it is, right, like otherwise you're so restrictive. And like Bobby was an addict when he was like 12, was smoking meth at 14, 15.

Speaker 1 Come on, move on. Well, no, that's a real story.
I mean, if you were smoking meth and 15 years old, and it was because you had a crazy upbringing.

Speaker 1 Well, I just didn't know how to,

Speaker 1 I didn't know how to feel good. Right.
Right. And that was the only way I could feel good.
You escaped by using drugs. But that's not the situation.
You know what I mean? No, I'm saying that

Speaker 1 this is what he's avoiding. Yeah, no, but he already did it.
You can already tell. You know what I mean? Like she's like, you know, mindful and healthy.

Speaker 1 I think the phrase that you said that's powerful is I didn't hide who I was to or hide my lifestyle. That's a cool, that's a, I think you kind of have to be transparent as a parent.
I think so.

Speaker 1 Because otherwise, they're going to know, they're going to find out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And also, you know, it hit me at a certain age, like when I really needed to mature as an individual, when she was like, when she started seeing, when she, she has

Speaker 1 the internet too, and so she started seeing, you know,

Speaker 1 me in ways that I'm like, ooh, I'm not proud of that as a father, you know, like that. It's different when they're little.
You know, I had a baby when I was 18 or 19. And

Speaker 1 that was before I was ever famous. I was working job.
jobs. You know, she was very young.
Like, it was,

Speaker 1 it didn't hit until she was, you know, able to

Speaker 1 kind of

Speaker 1 emit that she was disappointed in me.

Speaker 1 And I was,

Speaker 1 you know, as a

Speaker 1 father who views her as, you know, like my best friend and someone who

Speaker 1 probably the only person I really care to impress,

Speaker 1 you know, I didn't, I wasn't proud of a lot of the things that the ways I was representing myself. So, you know, I'd say probably when I was 30 is when I really got my,

Speaker 1 and that's also your Saturn return, you know, just as far as astrological

Speaker 1 things go, that's a very powerful year. Like, your Saturn return is when you're 30.
And that's

Speaker 1 very, that's a very powerful year for everybody, you know, like that's a, it's a karmic even for me? For sure. For you at 60.

Speaker 1 Like, 30 is a very powerful.

Speaker 1 It's a powerful number.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and that's in that year.

Speaker 1 Is everyone's sad in return, you know? So that's your karmic. I didn't know that when I was 30, though.
Yeah, but that's fine.

Speaker 1 But regardless, your karmic purpose started

Speaker 1 setting in. Oh, my God.
And you can either choose to take advantage or. I didn't take advantage.
I'm sure you did.

Speaker 1 You seem great. Yeah, yeah.
It was fine. I will say.
You're not on meth. Well, that's true.
Yeah, not anymore.

Speaker 1 Not anymore.

Speaker 1 That is true. That is true.
Yeah. I'm not anymore.
Yeah, you're right. I will say, I mean, can it?

Speaker 1 Go ahead.

Speaker 1 But I think that's one of the reasons why I haven't had a kid because of the shit that I've done. Oh, my God.
I would have to go, no internet until you're 18.

Speaker 1 It's hard, man. It's hard, yeah.

Speaker 1 I accept it, and I also,

Speaker 1 you know, I'm weighed down by it a lot, and plenty of people on the internet choose to remind me all the time, but it's also

Speaker 1 my job as

Speaker 1 a leader of or one of the leading voices of a generation who also can relate to being

Speaker 1 misjudged by things they did when they were younger or you know maybe needing someone to show them how to mature and you know like we all i i at least like i looked at

Speaker 1 uh the people on tv or in music as my parents you know that was kind of like those were the people it's like when jordan took the nike and was like this shoe is cool and people are like yeah yeah we we are what we embed ourselves in and to me frequency like music was always in here so i was you know trusting these people as my leaders like okay

Speaker 1 and i don't do a great job with that all the time with my lyrics but

Speaker 1 you know as i grow i'll continue to do so i continue to you know try and take my job as a

Speaker 1 fuck up who is no longer that but people know there's a there i think more than ever

Speaker 1 there is always a separation between the art and the artist and i think people are more cognizant of that in this day and age than we've ever been. I think because.
We should be, you and I.

Speaker 1 We're not doing any of that. No, dude, you're not going to be able to do it.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you what.

Speaker 1 We have to change our thing, dude. No, comedy is so important.

Speaker 1 We're feeding garbage to the people. We have no methods.
I'm telling you the rawness of what you guys do.

Speaker 1 I was telling him this on the plane when he was completely incoherent about the puke on my face.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. It's so important what you guys do.

Speaker 1 The unfiltered.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 just taking the pendulum and swinging it the complete opposite way of what it just was the past five years of just like where everyone's so scared to be funny or say anything at the

Speaker 1 fear of people being like,

Speaker 1 I'm going to come for your platform and

Speaker 1 we can't do anything. I think we have to.

Speaker 1 I think we have to because for us,

Speaker 1 it was the thing that made us laugh the most. And I think with audiences, going back to what I just said,

Speaker 1 People know

Speaker 1 what we're saying when we're fucking around.

Speaker 1 Clearly, it's coming from a place of like love and heart. Where we shit on each other.

Speaker 1 It's all for the art of the fun of the thing. I also don't know how else to do it.
Yeah, we don't.

Speaker 1 I mean, you could say, you know, that's why I don't do like certain shows, even if they ask. I go, that's not.
That's not for me.

Speaker 1 When I did Chelsea lately,

Speaker 1 I struggled every show. I mean, I don't care.
I mean, people even said, well, you struggled. You know what I mean? Because it's not my thing.
Right. It was never my thing.

Speaker 1 But I tried to fit into that format, and it came out weird. It didn't work.
It didn't work. This is my format.
Right. You know what I mean? This is why it works.
Yeah, this is why it works.

Speaker 1 What you guys do is important. Like, laughing saves our lives.

Speaker 1 It's a grim world, and so to make us laugh is very important, and I'm very appreciative of what you guys do. Oh, my God.
I'm appreciative of you. Take me back, by the way.

Speaker 1 Take me back to you're 18 or 19 and you have a kid.

Speaker 1 Are you feeling like

Speaker 1 you're fucked? Did it feel like that or was it hard? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 It was scared. Yeah,

Speaker 1 me and my friend Slim, we were sharing in a single-bedroom apartment. We were in Cleveland.
I was working at Chipotle. I gave up my job

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 I went to chase my dreams at this new music seminar that was coming into town.

Speaker 1 I spent my rent money to get a VIP pass to get a meeting with the ANR

Speaker 1 that they do at the seminar where you get like an individual meeting with an ANR.

Speaker 1 But I had to, it was on the day I was working.

Speaker 1 And I don't remember if this was the day. I traded two days in.
Like one day I traded my off day to a manager.

Speaker 1 I gave her Jay-Z tickets so I could have an off day to go do something to go to go to the Apollo.

Speaker 1 And I got the off day banned. But this one I couldn't get off, but it was more important than my job.
So I went there,

Speaker 1 didn't get a record deal, did get fired.

Speaker 1 Did meet my manager who was behind the scenes over there somewhere.

Speaker 1 And she's been rocking with me since that day.

Speaker 1 She was like, how did you meet her? I love her.

Speaker 1 Yeah, how did you meet her?

Speaker 1 She was there. I thought she worked with a record label because

Speaker 1 I saw a white girl with a clipboard.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure.
She worked with a record label.

Speaker 1 When you see a white woman with a clipboard,

Speaker 1 this is corporate. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I met her and she was really like, she was like, yo, everyone's talking about, you know, oh, because

Speaker 1 they did an open mic at the seminar, but they gave it to some like,

Speaker 1 you know, a kid from Atlanta who danced.

Speaker 1 And after he was done performing, I stood up and I was like, guys, like, you're in Cleveland. Let someone from Cleveland perform.
And they were like, well, who? And I was like,

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Dude. And, dude, I love this.
I got up there. Lenny S.
ironically, who works over at Rock Nation and had become my neighbor years later, he was there. So, and it's always great seeing that.

Speaker 1 That's how I get invited to the Rock Nation brunch was Lenny Yes. Shout out, Lenny S.
Lenny Yes. But he was there.

Speaker 1 And so afterwards, yeah, they were talking and I met her. And then, you know, she came over to my house after, or a day later with my friend Slim.
And we were all there.

Speaker 1 And I was like, dude, like, I met this record label person. like we're on, bro.
And she came over and she was like, yeah, like I'm, I was interning there,

Speaker 1 helping out, like, checking the names for everyone who was coming in. And yeah, I go to college, I'm about to graduate.
And

Speaker 1 I had just gotten fired from Chipotle. And

Speaker 1 anyway, she was like,

Speaker 1 I'll leave everything. Like, I believe in this.
So she dropped out of college and she got me a job working at Red Bull as a Penske truck driver to go drop off like palettes of Red Bulls and stuff.

Speaker 1 I had a buddy of mine do that when we did. moved to LA.
Yeah, so I was doing that and

Speaker 1 she had a car, so she was letting me put all my clothes in her car and crash there because we ended up getting a victor from that apartment.

Speaker 1 And yeah, man, like. And you're loyal, is what I'm sure.

Speaker 1 Because I'm pretty sure since then, you've had every manager go come to you and go, San Juan Daz.

Speaker 1 You won't leave her. No, that's for her.

Speaker 1 You won't leave her. That's for life.
That's for life. Dude, I'm the same way, dude.
Wow. And also, can I say this? May I say something to you?

Speaker 1 Is there was that moment where you said, I'm going to go up and do it. Without that, you would have never probably met her, right? Never.
Right. Never.

Speaker 1 And that's the thing that everyone needs to make it, I think, in any kind of art form. It's that, you know, you see the window of opportunity.

Speaker 1 Like when my friend Randy signed me up at the open mic, I didn't know I was supposed to perform. And then when they said my name, I could have gone, I'm not going up.
Yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 But I went, you know what? I'm going to do it. It's just like an instinctual thing of like, I have to do it.
You got to risk it all.

Speaker 1 You risk it all, and I just go up there and it didn't go well, but it's that instinct to do it, you know what I mean? I think you need. You do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you had to have the balls to do it. But that's also what kickstarts that sickness that we have where you're like, I need to, I have to, I don't have a choice.

Speaker 1 I must fucking do this. I'm not going back to Chipotle.
Yeah. The one memory I'll take from Chipotle, besides it was great, I met a lot of great friends and

Speaker 1 just the extreme hate that boiled in my chest from seeing people that went to my school come back from college on winter break to see me working at Chipotle and being like, ah, you were supposed to be a rapper, what happened?

Speaker 1 Like that

Speaker 1 probably fueled a lot. But I would be in the back washing the sour cream out of

Speaker 1 those tin

Speaker 1 things,

Speaker 1 and the hot steam from the sour cream would always come up to my face. And Mrs.
Officer by Lil Wayne was always playing.

Speaker 1 So every time I hear, wee, wee, wee, I always just re-smell hot, wow, steaming sour cream.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Because it was like the hottest song song on the radio at that time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So you don't like that when that song comes on? I love Wednesday. I like sour cream.
I love Wednesday. I don't know if it's...
I think my beef is more with the sour cream. Yeah, yeah, hot sour cream.

Speaker 1 Because I haven't used sour cream in many years. There's a smell.
I used to wash dishes. I was a bus boy and I did dishes

Speaker 1 for Outback Steakhouse.

Speaker 1 And there's a smell for everything like that, exactly what you were talking about. When steak and mashed potatoes is like sitting on a plate for a while and then hot water hits it, holy shit.

Speaker 1 It's the fucking thing. The water smells like burnt oranges that are rotting or something.
It just smells it smells like it smells like old old feet. It smells like old wet feet.
Yes, sir.

Speaker 1 I gotta smell. Yeah.
You know, in Korea, you know how they... All right, here we go.

Speaker 1 Take us back to the motherland. Well, do you remember I told you that like at my grandparents' house they had a bathroom and it was just a hole in the ground.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it was like generations and generations of poo. It was like literally 2,000 years of poo.
They never emptied it. They never emptied it.
No, it's not a hole in the ground.

Speaker 1 So it's a hole in the ground, right? That's my bad. And you look down.
So my great-grandparents' poo was way down there, right? My great-great-great-great-grandparents even.

Speaker 1 Kind of beautiful.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. But that smell I can't get rid of either.
You know, if you...

Speaker 1 In those holes. And it smells like shit.

Speaker 1 In those holes in the ground, those old bathrooms.

Speaker 1 If you dig all the way down, you can dig all the way to China if you can go all the way through to China. Isn't that where that comes from? No, it's not.
Wouldn't they do that?

Speaker 1 They in the backyard, they go, we're going to dig all the way to China. I tried that when I was a kid.
Yeah. Did you really? Yeah.
How about that? I also tried. I got about six feet.

Speaker 1 Maybe about four feet. I got to Bakerfield.

Speaker 1 But I digged. You mean this way?

Speaker 1 I also.

Speaker 1 You guys do everything. Yeah, I dig north.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I dig north. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Wait, I have one.

Speaker 1 Can I insert one activity really quick? Please. I love activities.
Remember what I texted you yesterday? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't remember the exact text, but I think.

Speaker 1 What about it? I was like, can I come later for the podcast? Because I have to fight a samurai. Yeah, yeah.
I wanted you to talk about it. Did you fight a samurai? I did today, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I feel actually, I don't know if I look dehydrated, but I feel like a piece of beef jerky. Like, I'm so just like dried meat.
My whole, I feel so dehydrated.

Speaker 1 I was in the sun fighting a samurai all day. It was for a music video, but I was thinking, because there's this part in the video where the song,

Speaker 1 it goes really fast.

Speaker 1 And I kind of did that. It's for a five-year anniversary of an album that came out in 2019.

Speaker 1 But my fans, as I owe to them, they love when I I rap fast, so I kind of did a part in there where I was rapping fast. And

Speaker 1 could I just please give

Speaker 1 to attempt to do the part? Oh, I can.

Speaker 1 What are we talking about here? This is amazing. Should I just start with that? Yeah, Bob has to do it first.

Speaker 1 Homie, what's up, dog? Okay, I'm going to play you how it's supposed to sound.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, I can just do it.

Speaker 1 Bobby can do it without direction.

Speaker 1 We're going to start here. Is this rap or is it singing? I'm going to play it for you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck yeah, dog.

Speaker 1 This is

Speaker 1 All right, ready. Hold on, wait, wait.
No, don't, don't do it yet. Okay,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 Okay, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Can you slow it down or no?

Speaker 1 No, that's the point.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 this is the one. Yeah, yeah, but am I going to sing with you? Sure, you'll try.
I want you to try first.

Speaker 1 I'll do. What are you talking about, dude?

Speaker 1 Hold on, hold on. All right, let's go.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna give you a confused

Speaker 1 me with it.

Speaker 1 Never been.

Speaker 1 Okay, no, that's what I was rehearsing.

Speaker 1 That was a rehearsal. Let me try it again.
Right.

Speaker 1 Please,

Speaker 1 I was always a little cynical. My condition was cynical.
I had a faster sensation. I know what I was in visiting.
Listen to Girl, don't do it, criminal.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Wow. What's up, dog? That's really good.
Yeah, dude. I could just do it a cappella.
Never been typical to image when I was always a two-step cynical.

Speaker 1 My condition catalyst, I had a friend of the the fictional. Never know what's coming to the listen to Golden Jupiter Criminal.
Holy shit, Bobby. Wow.

Speaker 1 How come you can't do the ad reads?

Speaker 1 Holy shit.

Speaker 1 That's so impressive.

Speaker 1 Let me see. You do it, dude.
Do it faster than me. I don't think so.
You guys are starting. Okay.
Do you always do it with the track or do you acapella? No, let me hear the track. Let me try.

Speaker 1 Okay. What's up, dude?

Speaker 1 Never been a typical individual with a little cynical. My condition was clinical.
I had a friend that was fictional and knew I was infection with the picture.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know what, guys?

Speaker 1 You're dealing with

Speaker 1 pros over here. Professionals, yeah, yeah, yeah.
By the way, that sounds amazing. That sounds really good.
I want to hear the whole thing, but we'll wait. I mean, sing Daddy Why You Die.

Speaker 1 You probably couldn't do that. Yes, he could.
100%. 100%.
Yeah, we could.

Speaker 1 Tell me about the samurai fight, though. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so there was a kid I saw

Speaker 1 online. His name is Shaquan, and he does these

Speaker 1 really

Speaker 1 maybe type like Shaquan, like Instagram, martial arts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 We got a crack team over there. Shaquan Parson, is that his name? Yep.
Oh, look at this guy. Go down

Speaker 1 the size of this guy. Oh, dude, is this the guy that does the crazy flips? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dude, this guy's unfortunate. Are we on even more?

Speaker 1 He doesn't really impress me, really. Bobby,

Speaker 1 this guy can walk backwards when he's on the back. Let's try like this one.

Speaker 1 Let's try this one on the right. Watch this shit.
Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Yes, I've seen this cat. Unfucking.

Speaker 1 Fuck, dude. No way, dude.
Turn on the volume. I'm going to hear him scream.
Look at that. Whoa, dude, that's fucking crazy.
Wait, wait, wait for it. He's about to go back.
Yoink, I'm not done.

Speaker 1 What? Whoa.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 Now, is that cultural appropriation? Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That goes the other way.
That goes the other way, yeah. Wow, and they do it so much, but like everything, they do it better.
They do it better.

Speaker 1 That's insane. There isn't one Asian guy that can can do it that good on earth.
Dude,

Speaker 1 imagine this guy, you brought him 2,000 years in old Japan and bring that guy in there. He'd be all we give up.
Where's he from? Where's this guy from? Atlanta. Atlanta.

Speaker 1 And so he came over to the house. And yeah, we just kind of, we both like love Dragon Ball Z and Naruto.
And so we kind of...

Speaker 1 You bonded over that? Yeah, low-key. And then we tried to kind of just pay a little homage to that in the videos for that song I was playing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can I talk to you about your childhood? So your parents were religious, no? Oh, my father was very religious, yeah. Have you ever seen American Psycho? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He kind of experienced such

Speaker 1 bad

Speaker 1 things that he over he overcompensated by becoming OCD, like how

Speaker 1 so everything like

Speaker 1 was either black or white. There was no gray area with him.
So even religion, I'll never forget. First time I got arrested,

Speaker 1 his solution was sitting me down. Like, besides, like,

Speaker 1 whooping me, like, his solution was like reading the Bible to me. Wow.
To like cure you

Speaker 1 of the evils that you were doing. So, um, did it work?

Speaker 1 It did the opposite, dude. You shut the fuck up.
It did the opposite. It worked.
Look at him, dude. It fucking worked.
I kind of, I.

Speaker 1 Are you mad? I hid from God my whole 20s, you know, and kind of, and found him later. Where are you now? Completely with Yeah.
Yeah. Dude, I'm with God.

Speaker 1 Gotcha. And ultimately,

Speaker 1 I've just, you know, tapped so much more into the Norse magic that

Speaker 1 was,

Speaker 1 you know, given to me in my blood that

Speaker 1 also plays like a...

Speaker 1 You probably love the movie The Northman, huh? I thought it was all right. I wish that they would, I mean, it was great.

Speaker 1 It did show a lot of the magic that

Speaker 1 is on our culture and our ancestors. And so I appreciated that, you know.

Speaker 1 But I wish they wouldn't have focused on one guy on a farm. I wish they would have just shown like war.

Speaker 1 That was my only critique for that. But I did love, like, you know,

Speaker 1 the magic was great. And that's such an important part of our culture.

Speaker 1 So, and I think that, like, you know, we've, I watch the internet view that stuff as, like, Illuminati or things like that so much, but really, you know, magic, Jesus did magic.

Speaker 1 You know, like, that was magic was such a huge part of our culture. It's just, like, been stripped because if we all tapped into our own magic,

Speaker 1 you know, government would be fucked. Everyone would be fucked.

Speaker 1 With Norse people,

Speaker 1 runes are

Speaker 1 secret words.

Speaker 1 The legend is that Odin hung upside down from the tree of life for nine days and nine nights.

Speaker 1 And that sacrifice unlocked the secret of what the runes were, which runes are like things like what's on my hands, right? Was he on a tree or something? Yeah, the tree of life. Okay.

Speaker 1 Like backwards from a branch? He had the legs on a branch and was backwards?

Speaker 1 I'm sure it was.

Speaker 1 I mean, I want to know just visually what it was. I wasn't there when Odin did that.
Yeah, but he was backwards. How? That's the tree.
But he was upside down, I said.

Speaker 1 Yeah, how was he upside down? Was he dangling backwards? Why are you so fucking aggressive? I'm not being aggressive. I just want a fucking answer from.
Yeah, but you're yelling. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 God damn it. Close, I'm sorry.
I'm trying to see it. Let me see the image.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Igg de la Sil, yeah. Igg derasil.

Speaker 1 Whoa. I've seen this tattoo.
Yeah. Many, many times.
Yeah, so Norse people have that. That's a big thing in our culture.
And that's what's on your hands right there, the words. The runes, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's going on? Just look at the light. What a lighter.
Give me a lighter. I got a lighter dog.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Bob. Wait, toss it and make it fun.
Yeah, toss it.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Boom.
I like plan catch. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're not a lighter collector. What? Of all people that started smoking again, you don't collect lighters.
You don't care about them. Do you care about lighters? No.

Speaker 1 Also, the most stolen object in human history. Lighters.
Yeah. Absolutely.
Not money.

Speaker 1 Probably come second to lighters. Yeah.
TSA. So many lighters they owe me.
Hold on, Bob. Catch that.

Speaker 1 Good job. Good job.
That hit my finger. 100%.
I knew how that was going to go. Did you?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would have bet.

Speaker 1 If this was a sports betting place somewhere, I would have bet all my battery. But there was three or four years and we're like, no lighters.
So it's like they have thousands of my lighters to TSA.

Speaker 1 Well, they throw them away for sure. Yeah, they do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then they got rid of that rule.
Now you can do it.

Speaker 1 Why do they make you take your laptop out? That's a real question. I have so many questions.
Why do they make you take your fucking laptop out? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Why do they make you put your tray table up when we're going 700 miles an hour and we're going to die anyway? Yeah, you're going to die.

Speaker 1 Why do they make me move my seat up six inches if we're already and because of one shoe bomb guy? Now we have to take your shoes off. I mean, no, you don't.
You have TSA. I don't.

Speaker 1 You don't have pre-Oh, you don't have pre-chat. I don't have that.
It's so funny to make it.

Speaker 1 I don't have it either. Fuck yeah, you wanted to say with three cats and now we got this.

Speaker 1 So you take your fucking shoes off when you go through? No, you have a private seat. I got caught with cocaine at LAX.
You got caught with Coke at LAX? how long ago

Speaker 1 six seven years ago wow but not on purpose obviously oh yeah you put it in a place for god i'm i'm i'm sober now so all of this is behind me but uh the uh

Speaker 1 yeah he would and you know it was funny i had a championship ring the caps championship ring in my backpack when he was searching it um i'd come back from new zealand and he was like uh

Speaker 1 oh my god this is my daughter's favorite team like can i take a picture of it with i was like absolutely man no problem took the picture and then he found this you know this this this bottle and he was like oh what's this and i was like i don't know it's you know you know sometimes when like pills expire yeah like it just turns bust or whatever so i was assuming because no way i would be that stupid but was definitely that stupid based off the test and he was just looking at me and he was giving me the kind of vibe like he was going to be cool

Speaker 1 can i borrow that light again wasn't cool was not cool Yeah, it is funny, though.

Speaker 1 He takes a picture, finds cocaine, and then when he's like, I got to bust you, you're like, I got to delete that picture of the.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I was thinking that, like, wait, this, this exchange is not easy. Oh, watch that.
Watch him throw it. This is going to be funnier.
Can you get it right this time?

Speaker 1 Because I don't want to keep doing this, you know? 100%. 100%.
Why don't you just let him keep the fucking light? I won't light it again. This will be my last light.

Speaker 1 Let's just see. You know what? This will be my last light.
All right, ready? Yep. He's going to overhand.
Okay. Dude, look at that.
Yeah, athleticism. We'll throw it back.
I'll catch it.

Speaker 1 I was making a joke earlier.

Speaker 1 Dude, focused so fucking hard. It was unbelievable.
Unbelievable. Dude, I learned his eyes.
Dude, I know. I learned from Bush.
Remember the shoe? He dodged? Yeah, yeah, no, but I know.

Speaker 1 I know that look. I know how to do it.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 he dodged. Did you see how good that was?

Speaker 1 Dude, I was able to rap, that fast rap I did. I'm winning today.
That was really good. Dude, I'm winning all the time right now, dude.
Yeah, you are. You're winning harder than I think.

Speaker 1 That, catch this, right? Him and I have that. You know what I mean? We're doing good, dude.

Speaker 1 Do you have any mortal enemies? Mortal enemies. Like, Bobby has mortal enemies.
And we've talked about it on the show. We don't need to mention the names, but Bobby has mortal enemies.

Speaker 1 What the fuck are you talking about, dude? I love

Speaker 1 everybody. Really? Yeah, they're just fun little wars.
I like to start with people. They're not enemies.
I love them. If they died, I would fucking weep like a little baby.
Not all of them.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you why, though.

Speaker 1 Okay, here's the thing. You do have mortal enemies.
I'll tell you why, though. Machine gun, can I call you machine gun? Absolutely.

Speaker 1 I like machine.

Speaker 1 Machine. Machine.
Check it out. So if somebody physically touches me in a very violent way, that's when I go, okay, that's the boundary that I

Speaker 1 right? So, like, if anyone assaulted you, would you fucking have you'd be like.

Speaker 1 Unless you were my friend. Yeah, but somebody that was like, hey, fuck you, bitch, and pushed you onto the ground.
Yeah, no, it depends on. If we were close and then we made up somehow, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But otherwise, no.

Speaker 1 I've never physically assaulted you, right? I don't think it's assault if you're less than.

Speaker 1 Do you know what I mean? There's a better way to say it. I don't think you could hurt me.
Dumb, dumb, dumb. No, dumb, dum, dum, to you, machine.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this, machine.
Dum-dum-dum to you. Is that I could physically hurt both of you right now, and I choose not to.
Do it. No, I don't want to.
Don't get up and do it.

Speaker 1 No, because I'll tell you what. Get up and do it right now.
I'm not a violent man. I'm not a violent man.
I'm not going to stay for life. Then don't talk violent shit.

Speaker 1 But what I'm saying is that in a situation, dude, in the right moment, I will fucking go monkey style on you. What, when I'm asleep? Yeah, fuck half-style.

Speaker 1 Spider-Monkey onto your head, and I'll do damage to your fucking head. Tap, top, tippy-top.
Dum-dum-dum.

Speaker 1 Alright? You guys are mocking me, dude. But it's like...
No, you're not. You don't want to race me out.
You're the one that started it. Why?

Speaker 1 Because you're talking like that you could physically assault us. It's crazy.
It's an insane thing to think. No, I'm just saying that I just.

Speaker 1 Don't dump, dump, fuck. Dump, dump, dump.

Speaker 1 All right, dude. Comedy isn't that good.
You do really

Speaker 1 well. You do that well.
But what I'm saying is. You know, you would never put a hand on on me.
That would be crazy. I know, but you put a hand on me.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I don't think that's right.
And I'm going to draw the line now. Don't do it again.
I'll do it whenever I want. I know you will.

Speaker 1 And I'm fine with it. I'm fine with it.
Because it's out of love. Do you have any mortal enemies?

Speaker 1 I'd say I had an ego death, and so that kind of dissipated with that. Oh, beautiful.
When did the ego death come? 2022.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 1 Realizing

Speaker 1 public perception will always

Speaker 1 change if you just continue running the marathon.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 also realizing I have no control of

Speaker 1 outward opinions and that what

Speaker 1 is important is how I feel about myself and that's what radiates. So

Speaker 1 it's also not my job

Speaker 1 to be

Speaker 1 liked by everybody because art is what I do, and art is always supposed to be conversational. And if the conversation is just one way, then it's boring.

Speaker 1 So, as long as I do my job and create conversation,

Speaker 1 bad or good, I am an artist.

Speaker 1 And by the way, bad and good is an interesting because I agree with everything you're saying. There's no such thing as like a bad

Speaker 1 version of the conversation about you because

Speaker 1 it's all

Speaker 1 surrounding what you're making.

Speaker 1 So, whether people like it or not

Speaker 1 doesn't really matter. The people that like you and the people that hate you, it's all the same thing.
Sometimes people that hate you like you more than you that like you.

Speaker 1 It's all money in your pocket.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 to me, I'll tell you why. Well, it's not just the money.
No, just look.

Speaker 1 I don't know why you left at that, you meet my Spanish friend.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'm going to say this, okay? Let me get my points out, if I may.
Please. I'm 50% of the show.

Speaker 1 40. Yeah, 40.

Speaker 1 I'm 70, dude. 75.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So

Speaker 1 what I meant, but not money in your pocket, but what I meant to say is that

Speaker 1 you're a correct, it's the conversation, right? Yeah. It's just like, if I wasn't causing conversations out there, I wouldn't be successful.
True.

Speaker 1 Especially as a comic, right? I think the reason why we do well, maybe, you know what I mean, is because we do cause, you know what I mean? There are people that don't like us. Sure, of course.

Speaker 1 In our style of comedy or whatever. Or whatever.
And I just think that, and you're right, Machine, right?

Speaker 1 There's nothing we can do. No.

Speaker 1 The one thing you can do is finish the book.

Speaker 1 They're going to read the beginning. Oh, God, I got to finish the book.
They're going to read the beginning and they'll make their assumptions. And

Speaker 1 as long as you get them through the entire book, they might find out that the

Speaker 1 perceived antagonist was really the protagonist, and there is a nice spin at the end.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 this guy is fucking great. Yeah, but it's also so true.

Speaker 1 The amount of people that, even like as a kid,

Speaker 1 someone that was famous or a celebrity of some kind that I had a perception about, and then I got older, and then you saw their life change or saw them develop, and I changed my opinion of them,

Speaker 1 there's tons of them. There's so many people like that.
Give me one example.

Speaker 1 Well, I would say not, my first thought was the way people always perceived Rodman when I was a kid, because Dennis Rodman was such a polarizing figure.

Speaker 1 And then the more people that learned about him, about who he was or who he, you know, versus who they perceived him to be, it was kind of a beautiful flip or a change. Tyson had the same thing.

Speaker 1 People didn't understand Mike Tyson. I feel like now they're getting to see who Mike Tyson really is.

Speaker 1 But as a kid, it was always like celebrities and certain athletes or certain famous people that I was like, I don't even know if I like that guy or they bothered me.

Speaker 1 Then you see them grow in their whole, you're reading more of their book and you're like, oh, I do. I guess I didn't know that person.
Yeah, I always was scared of Mike Tyson for some reason.

Speaker 1 And then one day, I was. No, he's pretty fucking scary.
Yeah, but I was at the comedy store. He goes, hey, man, I'm Mike Tyson.
I'm a big fan of your work. Right? And I go, oh, shit.
We took a photo.

Speaker 1 I remember showing my dad the photo. My dad cried.
You go, Michael Tyson.

Speaker 1 I can't believe it. He called him Michael Tyson.
Michael Tyson.

Speaker 1 He literally weeped because my dad's a big boxing fan. Yeah.
Right? And then I did a movie with Mike Tyson. You know what I mean? And he's just a nice guy.
Anyway. Anyway.

Speaker 1 What movie did you do with Mike? It was called... Oh, my God.
I hated this movie. I even forgot what it was called.
I hated it. I can't wait to see this.
I have a funny Rodman story.

Speaker 1 I think that's what it is. Give me the Rodman story.
So I was directing or writing a comedy with my friend Mod Sun, and we were looking for a...

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Dude, that was me in the movie.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Dude, why didn't you tell me, dude? Well, I mean, I just... Why didn't you tell me I look like a fat lesbian?

Speaker 1 I look like shit there, dude. That is wild, dude.

Speaker 1 Look at that, dude. It's a bad fit.

Speaker 1 When you put that on, you want to give me something else?

Speaker 1 That's a tough thing to wear. Does my body look like that now? No.
Be real. It doesn't.
Okay, good. Thank God.
The boys will tell you. Yeah, from now on, if I ever look like that, just say Ozimpic.

Speaker 1 And I'll get on it, all right? Because that's fucking, I look like, anyway. Give me your Dennis Rodman story.
Rodman. Can I have your lighter one more time? No.

Speaker 1 Bum, bum, bomb. No.

Speaker 1 All right. The teasing of it is great.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can you throw it back? Can you just do it as hard? Because you did it hard last time. Do it hard? No, don't do it as hard.
Okay, got you. That's what she said.

Speaker 1 All right, Ted, give me Dennis.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 1 Do you know who this is? Yeah, the red-headed guy. Correct, yeah.

Speaker 1 Me and Maud son were doing a comedy, and we wrote this part for,

Speaker 1 you know, an athlete to

Speaker 1 come and punch me in the face. And

Speaker 1 we were like, man, what athlete could we do? And Maude has Dennis Rodman's face tattooed on his arm.

Speaker 1 And so we were looking, and I was like, you know, we were like, oh my God, Dennis Rodman, for sure, we should hit him up. And so we hit Dennis Rodman up.

Speaker 1 He agreed to do it as long as we booked him a Rolls-Royce to bring him from Orange County up.

Speaker 1 Seems fair. For sure.
And I was like, great, no problem.

Speaker 1 And so he's on the way up, and the Rolls-Royce driver is like,

Speaker 1 he's smoking a cigar in my Rolls-Royce. Like, I'm turning the car around.
I was like, this is Dennis Robin. You let him do whatever the fuck he wants.
Please get him to this.

Speaker 1 And we rented Van Nuys Airport out for like an hour. And up until this point, the producers were basically like,

Speaker 1 why did we do this? Like, we don't have a confirmed athlete. This was all like we were doing the Dennis Robin things behind the scenes, just kind of just,

Speaker 1 please do this, right?

Speaker 1 And so he finally gets there.

Speaker 1 And, you know, Maud is the one that has his face tattooed on him. And so he walked up and he was like, dude, Dennis, what up? And he goes straight past Maude and he sees me.

Speaker 1 He's like, what up, superstar?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 me and Maud laugh about that to this day. It was so funny.
And then he did the scene and he killed it. And

Speaker 1 he had on a wrinkled t-shirt that we were like, Do you want to change? He was like, I'm already in my outfit. And we were like, yeah, for sure, of course.

Speaker 1 He was good. And it was great.
Yeah, he was awesome. He was so, so cool.
And I really appreciate him for doing that. Smoking in the rolls.
Smoking a cigar in the rolls is so machines. Yeah.
Mr.

Speaker 1 Machines. Mr.
Machines.

Speaker 1 I'm going to manifest something right now, and I hope it happens. I want to play an Aardvark or something in one of your music videos.
Cool.

Speaker 1 Honestly, I want to be a creature of some sort.

Speaker 1 No, being real. You're not fucking around here, dog.

Speaker 1 You can't go from that voice to that and be like, I'm not fucking around.

Speaker 1 You can't go, Mr. Machines.
I want to bring an Ardvark. And then go, I'm serious.

Speaker 1 Let's be real for a second then. Well, go ahead.
Yo, machines, what's up, bro?

Speaker 1 That doesn't need to be that way. Yeah, it's going to be that way right now, dude.
I'll tell you that right now. Playa.
All right, I'm done fucking around. And this thing is.

Speaker 1 When he does this,

Speaker 1 give it to him, dude.

Speaker 1 Urban Bob, look up Aardvark. What does that look like?

Speaker 1 Let's see if this is proper caspark. Yeah, it's proper.
It's pretty close.

Speaker 1 You're more of a roly-poly. How about that?

Speaker 1 No, don't say roly-poly. Let me be a furry animal.
How about a red panda? Red panda is great. Red panda, you could be.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 yo, yo, brah. Are you going to talk to me? No, I'm not doing the red.

Speaker 1 You want to do a red panda?

Speaker 1 I'm doing a red panda now, though.

Speaker 1 Something like that now. That's pretty good.
That's pretty good. Yeah, that's actually really good.

Speaker 1 I think you got it. Can I play

Speaker 1 some sort of furry animal in one of your music videos? Dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah. How do I incorporate that?

Speaker 1 Dude, it'd be funny, dude. Watch.

Speaker 1 You're at LAX. I don't know where you do your videos, right? At some airport.
Always at airports.

Speaker 1 However you do it. We can't have exotic animals at airport, but we're parking.

Speaker 1 Anyway, fine.

Speaker 1 We're at Griffith Park. Cool, cool.
Right? Cool. All right.
It's cool, right? You're wearing a ranger's outfit. What's a ranger?

Speaker 1 Like a park ranger. Okay.
Right? And you're like, you know, rapping about like, you know what I mean, etymology

Speaker 1 of things, you know what I mean? Like, of the fungi. This song is already.
Etymology of fungi. This song has already flopped.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Or whatever it might be, right? Okay.

Speaker 1 And then it's like, you know what I mean? You're like, yeah, man, the fungi, whatever, you know what I mean? Communicating each other underneath the trees. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Because they have a network. Yeah, it's good so far.

Speaker 1 Yeah. They have a network of things, right? And then in the background,

Speaker 1 I'm in the back, in a tree, with a leaf, like that.

Speaker 1 As a cameo.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You want to do it?

Speaker 1 I'm out.

Speaker 1 I'm out. I'm out in it.
You don't want to do it? No, I'm out. Can I be in it? What's the disposition of a red panda? Like,

Speaker 1 what's their thing?

Speaker 1 I can't manifest nothing.

Speaker 1 Well, give me their Wikipedia. What is it about them? They're a small mammal.
They're the lesser panda. The lesser panda.
There we go. Number one, that's true.
That's true of me. I'm lesser.
Yeah?

Speaker 1 Yeah, number two, what's another thing? Their population is decreasing. Exactly.
So are you? There's a few. There's a few of us left.
All right, I'll have a pitch. Yeah, what's yours?

Speaker 1 Let's switch it from. I think the pitch would be,

Speaker 1 and I'm going to run on the theme of the ego death that you spoke about. Okay.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 There is a

Speaker 1 sea of red pandas all over the place. Okay.
Bobby is one of them. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You

Speaker 1 are a red panda, but you don't look like the other red pandas. You stand out.
Me. Yeah, very dramatically.
Okay. And a lot of the other red pandas, including Bobby, kind of don't like you.

Speaker 1 They make fun of you. They isolate you.
And so what you do is then you try to become a red panda. You try to do what they do.
You try to look like them.

Speaker 1 And you realize in doing so, it's less and less of who you really are. Then they see you stripping off all of this makeup and nonsense to become them.

Speaker 1 And you shine as bright as you've ever shown.

Speaker 1 And you rap. to these other red pandas about who you really are.
Can you pass me that water for a second? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm just going just going to, this will be. Can this be the so the end scene will kind of be a little bit like

Speaker 1 is this kind of like yeah, that's exactly what it is. Dude, did you go to Red Panda school? That was insane.

Speaker 1 Yeah, very good.

Speaker 1 Well, what about this then?

Speaker 1 Maybe he's.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 you realize that you've hurt my feelings. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 Remember.

Speaker 1 Good, good, good.

Speaker 1 Keep going, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Speaker 1 Do you want to leave? Take it back, take it back. Let's take it back.
I take back what you... I was saying.
What was I saying?

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Good.

Speaker 1 Good. I forgive you.
Okay, see, dude.

Speaker 1 Can I propose one little thing?

Speaker 1 Instead of, like, there'll be a thousand red pandas, can you just multiply my body? Sure. Yeah, we'll do the, we'll do Oompa Loompa, Johnny Depp, Wonka,

Speaker 1 Wonka. We'll do that with you with the Red Panda.
It'll be all, all the Red Pandas will be you. Okay, guys,

Speaker 1 that's all I want.

Speaker 1 And you can do that with technology. Do we have a deal? Do we have a deal? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was great. That was really, that was good.
But machines, if we don't do it, dude, bro. We're going to have a fucking problemo in the next two years.
This has got to happen.

Speaker 1 So you're threatening him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe a little bit. Also, a move.
Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. Always a good move.
You hear me? But it's like, I would love to work with you. That's all.

Speaker 1 Is the rest of the show just going to look like I'm crying? No, no, no, no, no. No, you're good.

Speaker 1 And actually, your face looks a lot better. His,

Speaker 1 you're still a little red in the eyes. Let me see.

Speaker 1 Look like this. BU on curb from the fifth season.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Good. Pretty good? Yeah, it looks really good.
Can you cry on command? We've done this. Oh, we already.
I did that on Schultz's show. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I've done that on Schultz's show. Oh, yeah.
All right.

Speaker 1 I found my lighter. It's right here.

Speaker 1 I know you. Oh, Bob.
Another one?

Speaker 1 One more.

Speaker 1 You want to thank our guests for coming? Dude, I'm

Speaker 1 real. I'm being real.
Fuck you, dude.

Speaker 1 I'm really real.

Speaker 1 I feel like I'll probably never get your number, but

Speaker 1 don't do that. Yeah, yeah.
Which is fine.

Speaker 1 But I feel like,

Speaker 1 and this is the truth honest truth.

Speaker 1 I didn't know much. I knew who you were, you know what I mean? But I didn't know you.
I feel like I know you a lot more. I respect you.
Thanks, man.

Speaker 1 I like you a lot. Thank you.
And I think you're a good dude. I think you're also intuitive.
I think that you're mindful. And I think that you're going the right places.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 And I appreciate you for doing our program. And hopefully, in the Red Pandasa,

Speaker 1 you can just, we don't have to do it.

Speaker 1 I'm being real. I mean, if that doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.
And I won't take offense. You know, I get it.
I'm not, you know. I've done other people.
I've done Eminem's video. Careful.
I have.

Speaker 1 I've been in other videos.

Speaker 1 That's not the move.

Speaker 1 I'm just, it's a threat. Wow.
Yeah, it's a threat. But anyway, my point is.
Oh, you're saying if he doesn't do that. Yeah, yeah.
I'm just saying I've been there, done that.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah, that's all.
That's all. You know what I mean? But my point is, no, dude, honestly, dude, I love you, dude.
And thank you so much for doing it, man. Oh, thank you.
I really appreciate it.

Speaker 1 Thank you, guys.

Speaker 1 We appreciate you very much. Thank you for saving my life.

Speaker 1 I hope we see you again.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I want to thank you for being a bad friend.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much, guys. Thank you.
It's awesome.