The Magic Man w/ Sebastian Maniscalco

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Hey! Hey everybody, guys, we got new shirts, and this is, I think, one of our best shirts of all time. I think so, too.
On it has all the whole cast of characters in it. The gang's all here.
The gang's all here. And then Poway High School, the home of the Titans.
Home of the Titans, baby. My high school's there.
Hollywood, all that stuff. The comedy store.
Toosie's on there. Cree Corps is on there.
McCone, Carlos, everyone. We also have mugs.
If you like coffee, you want to start your day right with

the Bad Friends, we also have mugs on there. Mugs and shirts.

Go get them now before we stop selling

them. We're doing limited time runs for a lot of this

stuff. Go to BadFriendsMerch.com

BadFriendsMerch.com

Also, we're going down on the

night. We're going to be in Australia.

Sydney, we have to add seats

because you guys did great.

Tell them where we go. We're going to Sydney.

You said it.

Sydney.

Brisbane, Australia.

Auckland, New Zealand.

Melbourne, Australia.

Adelaide, Australia.

Adelaide.

Berth, Australia.

Perth.

Tickets are going fast.

Tickets are going fast.

Go to badfriendspod.com for tickets.

Badfriendspod.com.

Dot com for tickets.

You two are bad friends.

Who are these two idiots?

A white dude and an Asian dude.

You two are disgusting.

You two are something.

We're bad friends. What's going

on your face?

Like a teenage girl.

Dude, I love it.

Are there

like pink ones that can blend into your face?

You had to do the yellow. These were for you, but I just

wanted them.

You want me to save that stuff for the pod yeah um dude let me tell you something did you offer our guests anything to drink or anything i got water they better everybody's a little star stroke everyone is a little star star star stroke a star stroke this guy dude we hire this guy almost all the people that work for us are a illegal they're illegal they don't have cards or B, they're felons. Star stroke.
This guy. Dude, we hire...
This guy. Almost all the people that work for us are A, illegal.
They're illegal. They don't have cards.
Or B, they're felons. Felons, yeah.
Honest felons. Carlos, did you know Seb back in the day? I would see you at the comedy store, yeah.
Yeah, but he didn't know you. No.
No. Well, no, because you were around.
Yeah. We had some friends with Sebastian.
But this is before he blew up, though. So you didn't go, hey, I'm Carlos?

No, no.

Okay.

You think Sebastian was in Sacred Ground with the crackheads in the back?

You did stand up and went home. Oh, that's right.

That's right.

That's right.

These guys were cockroaching behind the comedy store.

He didn't linger.

He didn't need to.

I did.

I lingered early on.

My early years, I was a lingerer.

Yeah, yeah.

But as you grow up, you go home.

Well, I didn't make it yet, so you know what I mean?

I need to hang out.

You mean now?

Yeah, now.

I hang out now because I haven't made it yet.

I mean, my opportunity might...

You know what I mean?

Maybe I'll do the Golden Globes.

Are you sleeping in Mitzi's office?

Don't you pass out sometimes up there?

That's your little apartment?

Well, first of all, no one's ever been in Mitzi's office.

You know that?

I have.

Thank you. I'll do the Golden Globes Are you sleeping in Mitzi's office? Don't you pass out sometimes up there? That's your little apartment? Well first of all No one's ever been in Mitzi's office You know that? I have No one's been I have Don't do this Have you been in Mitzi's office? Yeah Yeah what are you talking about? I don't think you guys know where Mitzi's office is This is such What a dumb guy think There was another room with a desk? What are you talking about? No where do you think Mitzi's office is? What what are you talking about what are you guys talking about and i don't like this i don't like what's going on right now dude after you let's go ahead let me ask you this okay is mitzi's office at the county store that's very good yeah all right good this is good you're acting you're treating me like you've always asked like a child yeah and i'm gonna allow this all right so go ahead let's let's go the way you're behaving is as if we didn't come across the office because the office is located on i know but what i'm saying to you is is that can i ask you a question yes based after your question michael are there many offices at the comedy store yes yes there we go am i okay so So what? And so what I know, stop.
Dude, this is the worst detective of all time. Trying to find clues that aren't there.
Yeah, yeah. So what I'm saying is, is that I feel like you've been in an office where you thought it was Mitzi's office, but it really wasn't.
Okay. Okay.
So what I know this about Mitzi's office is that it's been closed since the 70s. No one's ever been in there.
That's not true. Okay, so now I'm going to ask you, Seb, and you, Andrew, all right? All right, because I'm not afraid.
Number one, I don't, I'm not based in fear right now. I have courage, and I know what I'm talking about.
Okay. You fucking assholes right now, right? And don't do...
You know what this is?

I saw this on TikTok.

It's the way to... You know what I mean?

Get control of the room with your hand like this.

You know what this is?

Yeah.

You know what this is?

Yeah.

This is sitting on a kid's...

That's what that is.

That's true.

I read it wrong.

So I'm going to ask you guys, where is the office?

You know what the... I don't know if we need to tell you because you haven't been.
This is kind of the great thing. This is so funny because now you see what's going on.
They now are scared because they don't know where her office is. I do.
So this is great. So the office is upstairs.
Okay. So where I go? There's many building offices up there.
So describe to me how I get up there. Okay, since you've been in there, does the office have a heavy, like red kind of velvety drape that you remember? I don't know if it does anymore, but it did.
It used to have a, there was a secondary door before you got to her office door. Yeah.
Oh, that's it, that's it, that's it. Yeah, been in there i thought no here's the deal yeah i've never been i've never been a responsible grown hold on hey egett adam you're on you're on bad friends with sebastian and me and bobby and bobby claims uh that's yeah exactly he goes uh nobody's been in mincy's office since the 70s and i said me and you i said i've been in it you and i went in it did or did have we not been in mincy's office yeah absolutely yeah okay thank you i love you i'm not done no we're gonna give me the phone why is bobby banned from the office yeah why can't bobby go in egot oh that's totally different right oh well what is it Egott? Bobby, there's so many fucking reasons.
Yeah, there is. Yeah.
And I think our audience knows. Hang up the phone.
I love you. I'll call you later.
Hang up the phone. Goodbye.
I love you. Okay, so I was wrong.
There are parts of this conversation I've ever read. So aggressive to our guest.
Listen. Guys, I never know when I come on these things yeah is this like on yes we had already started

i just did a podcast where it was like uh okay we're gonna start in a bit of water this and

that and then it was like a introduction yeah here it's like hey we're running right right

from the get-go this is a car accident okay no it's not a car it's just gonna happen and you

guys are making me so mad right now dude what is your problem i don't know i'm just aggro right now

Let's go. Running right from the get-go.
This is a car accident. Okay.
No, it's not a car. It's just going to happen.
You guys are making me so mad right now. Dude, what is your problem? I don't know.
I'm just aggro right now. What happened in Century City that you're so upset? It took me a long way to get here.
Well, no shit. What were you doing over there? CA is packaging.
Don't act like it is. Okay.
I'm doing this. You know what I mean? Because it's like, it's a whirlwind so um i don't want to get into why i was a whirlwind or whirlwind it's a whirlwind do you which word do you think it is do you think w-i-n world wind world wind no it's w-h-i-r-l wind d w-i-n-d w-y-n-.
No, no, no, not Steve Wynn. Wind.
Or World Wind. What is it? What is it? No, no, no, I'm just saying you're right no matter what.
Okay, but Seb, I know you're going to say something. Let me just say something.
We'll do the proper intro. No, you don't need to.
No, but I'm going to tell you why we do it. Like where we're at.
Is this part of like, oh, we get warmed up, and then all of a sudden the foreigner says, hey, let's get this're right you're right our guest today is one of our favorite comedians ever walked the earth an actor a comedian a writer probably one of the most brilliant performers alive today Sebastian Meniscalco what did you what don't step on them a real comedian a real comedian for once for once on this show yeah let me just get back okay I'm back do it again I already did it alright he's a real comedian that's what I got not only that did I get actor world world when we said a great actor a great writer a great performer a great comedian a great father a great friend may I say something because I have my own two bits as well. Please.
He's a great guy. You never said that.
And also, secondly, I've known him probably one of the longest, right? Yeah. And, you know, he's one of those guys that I always knew.
So, Sebastian Maniscalco. You know what? Yeah, guys.
Guys, you know what? Let's just go back to the normal way you do it what it doesn't seem organic we can't do NPR podcasting it's just not for us how many did you do today two interviews I did I did the school of greatness you ever do that one what is that I've never heard of it what is that what is that what is that we're not that great so I don't know if we'd go well we've never seen them in the charts are they bigger than us no way okay i love your attitude right now thank you so much this is this is like yeah lewis lewis house oh now what's there now what's his thing about it's more like you know uh grown-up shit you know yeah he's a two-time new york best-selling author is that what it says yeah. Two-time all-American athlete, keynote speaker, entrepreneur.
Wow. Yeah.
It was more about life. Life.
Yeah. We do life too, bud.
No, no. Yeah.
How's your life going? Some people watch it. Yeah, yeah.
Some people watch it. Yeah, yeah.
Whoa, dude. You're flexing, huh? He's being a little diminutive.
And it's interesting you would do that to someone you respect so much like Sebastian. This is the first time I have someone I admire.
On our show? Yeah. You've never admired any? We had John Cena, didn't admire.
Zac Efron, didn't admire. No Zac Efron, no I'm admire.
All right, we've also had, who else have we had? U2. U2.
The band U2. We had U2.
Bono, we had Bono and The Edge. Okay.
Yeah, we're like, you know, we're the bottom. But my point is, is that.
It's fine. Who else have we had? So you had Bono in here? No.
No, he's just, he doesn't. When he said U2.
His English is bad. He's bad.
Yeah, we never had Bono here. He meant he has us two.
Oh, I thought it was U2. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no. He's very bad with communication skills.
He is very bad with the English. Can you shut the fuck up maybe? Because we have a gas.
Anyway, so Sebastian is an old friend and he's killing it. It's great.
I'm so happy for you. Thank you.
Here's another reason why I like you. No, I don't.
Go ahead. I just don't get it.
What are you doing? What's the problem? He knows we like him. But tell him why he likes him.
Yeah, well, for people listening. I'm sure they like him way more.
Way more than me, but I'm just going to tell... I'm sorry.
Back up, everyone. Okay.
You got to take those off because it's doing something to your mind. And the way you're podcasting, it's affecting everything.
Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck is that? I told you it's pimple patches i had a breakout yeah i went to vegas i got cream yeah i put wrong cream on my face i broke out when i came back okay let me ask you this because this is the second time i've seen this in less than four days yeah someone had that on these yeah at a party um that we were at for it's a kid party and uh one of the mothers had one here now can you come out with those on and not mention that you have those must say something must say something if you walk and i would never go to a public if i was going to party or a thing i would just get over it this is this is home to me so this is easy if i'm going to a party or an event can't just just deal with the pimple just deal with the redness this woman didn't say anything about it no i said you got something on you like you i thought it was like uh from opening a gift that one of the stickers got i know you got a star on your she's like no that's for for a pimple i'm like is it getting that comfortable now where people just come out with acne cream? Yeah, yeah.
Well, let me say something, first of all, to the company that makes those. Why don't you make them so that it's something that you would have on your face, like a liver spot or a freckle? Right.
So are those... No, these are real liver spots that old Korean men get.
Yeah, yeah. But my point being is if I had a brown liver spot like there and that is it i think it would just blend it in my face no yeah but then this this feels like it's more obvious hey i have a thing on my face that would be we we would start calling each other going is bobby okay there's way more liver spots on his face than used to be right but maybe you can like pull on heartstrings maybe a maybe a um that's something even like a scar.
You know what I mean? Or lesions. You should have worked in Halloween makeup.
You would have been way better at that than comedy. That should have been your career.
This is great. I'm in.
You start a business doing this and I'm in. Guys.
Thanks. Is this how it's going to go? This is how it how it goes okay that's how it goes are you plugging something what the fuck are you doing here i'm just interested in the dynamics of yeah yeah okay here we go yeah because i uh i generally don't watch the show yeah i uh neither do we I have a family.
Yeah um so are these guys guys you're hanging out with on a social level or is it just a work thing and everybody goes their separate ways well um no actually we do we do it is kind of like a little family for us yeah and it's five guys well there's a woman in the back i met briefly a new intern? Yeah. Yeah, where is she? Oh, I thought he was talking about McCone.
Can I see what she looks like? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, another Asian. Hi.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
You're an intern? I am. Okay, sit back down.
Thank you. Trying to impress you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, listen, listen.
Okay. I'm impressed, number one.
Congratulations on all the success that the show has had.

Thank you.

It's really fantastic.

And I'm impressed that you guys are so big that there's an intern program. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There is.

At Bad Friends.

I mean, that's pretty impressive.

Well, I'll tell you what, though.

We don't do the intern hiring.

We have no say.

They bring in people.

And I'm starting to get a little sus.

We might need to audit it because it's always Asian girls.

Yeah.

So, I'm starting to get a little sus we might need to audit it because it's always asian girls yeah so i don't know what's going on over there i think they're doing it for me it's not working it's not working no it doesn't make me feel comfortable trust me yeah but i don't i'm i'm cool with any race any gender okay but let's mix it up a little bit yeah that's been the fifth Asian girl we've had. We love blacks.
Okay. We love them.

Let's just make sure when he says that.

Yeah.

I just saw the movie Fences.

The movie Fences.

Very good.

Donzel.

Yeah.

Very good movie.

Never said that play.

Do the scene.

Let's do the scene.

Son.

I don't know.

I never saw that.

Oh my God.

But let me try.

Let me try.

Let me try.

I got so nervous.

Yeah.

Son.

Okay.

Let me try.

Son.

Why do you think I work all day paying bills and putting food on the table? Not because of my duty, but because I'm your father. Because you love me? Yeah.
No. Now go clean the fucking bathroom.
No. No, you didn't do that? No, he doesn't.
He says, not because I love you. I never saw the movie.
That's pretty good for somebody that's never seen the fucking movie. Or the play.
Or the play. Am I not right? Well, I got to tell you.
What? The meeting that you were at today was for a movie package deal. And this is what you're bringing to the table? I'm concerned.
Sometimes it's lowbrow projects, dude. Not everyone's going to work with Robert Dinner.
Sometimes nobrow projects. Sometimes they're so low, there's nobrow.
Yeah,'s no brow. And that's okay.
You do the monologue. No, I don't know the monologue.
I don't remember it. I'm the kid.
Yeah, dad. Yeah, dad.
You want to talk to me in the backyard in New York, Brooklyn, 1978? Is that when you think it was? I don't know. Let's move on.
Let's move on. Okay.
All right. Sebastian, I'm going to ask you something.
I got back from Vegas. I went to go see Dead and Company.
I don't know. It's weird to me to see people from all different facets that like that band.
I wouldn't pick you as that, but do you like that stuff at all or no? It's funny. My musical tastes are very sheltered i i didn't grow up with a lot of the music a lot of the people grew up in the 80s with my father around the house was playing algero a lot of jazz grover washington miles davis so i would go to school I love it and everybody was oh you listen to the Beatles you listen to this or whatever I go no I'm listening to you know Boz Skaggs so I wasn't I wasn't privy to a lot of this music that a lot of people grew up on so no I, I'm not a bad company guy.
But I heard the show, is that the Sphere? Yeah, Dead and Company at the Sphere. What did I say, Bad Company? Bad Company, also a great band.
I have a line of questions real quick, but if you want to say something, I have a line of questions. What he just said really bothered me, but go ahead.
All I want to say is, I understand this shelter. I don't know.
My dad was stuck in the... He never liked new shit.
Even of his gender. My dad was born 55, something like that.
So I would think a lot of my friend's dads were like Zeppelin rock, 70s rock. My dad only liked Carolina Beach music, soul, Patsy Cline.
You know what I mean? He liked either folk country crossover or soul music. Sam Cooke.
He just never... For me, it was similar in that way where I had to go fish because my friends were like, Patsy Cline? They didn't know who that...
They were like, who is that? So same kind of idea. So I had be like out of myself to pretend I knew things when I was young so I had to just investigate you just bailed you were like yeah I didn't I didn't know there was any investigating I just like okay this is the music taste that I'm gonna grow up with you like right I'm sorry you liked Michael Jackson I love Michael Jackson yeah who do you yeah who like who Michael Jackson Prince I mean Madonna yeah yeah yeah all those things you I that about you.
I didn't get it. Motley Crue, I like kind of the hair bands.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like the classical rock bands, I didn't get into.
Like no Zeppelin. No Zeppelin.
Wow. But if I said to you, like, name me a couple of Beatles songs you would know.
I mean, you're privy to that information. Yes.
You don't know any Beatles songs. Again, I don't know lyrics to songs, nor do I titles to songs okay i love that about it i know this is what i love i know you're i like it i like it when you came here today what did you listen to in the car on the way here uh i i was talking to people but if you're not on the phone i would generally listen to audio books fuck or i the The latest Eminem song, Houdini.
Whoa, the scale of that. Audio books, Eminem.
Houdini. Wow.
Whoa. The Anxious Generation, that's the book I'm listening to right now.
And then Houdini. Is the, wow.
That's it. That's your playlist.
That's right now right now yeah right I don't I don't veer far okay may I ask you some questions and I know you're a guest and I love you so much and thank you and don't be rude I'm not gonna be I feel like I was being rude early I apologize you're not being rude at all thank you so much I've known you for 25 years okay so I'm gonna ask you some direct questions then okay okay? Okay. Because I'm not afraid.
All right? I mean, you have Spotify, no? I do have Spotify. Thank you.
Apple Music, no? Yes. Exactly.
A search engine? Yes. Yeah.
This isn't rude? No. Because I'm confused.
No, no, no. Tonally.
You're right. I should ask you.
Hey, you have all the stuff like Spotify and Apple, right? Better. That's cool.
Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome.
I have it too. And you search things right on it.
Mm-hmm. Right? Never curious.
Maybe let's see what the Beatles are all about. No.
Why? Listen, it is a weakness I have in my repertoire for a cultural, you know, I, I should be able to name many songs from the Beatles and or Led Zeppelin, you know, stair, was it stairway to heaven? Yeah, but watch this, but watch this, well, watch this. I know, I know, I know what you're going to do.
I don't know. I don't know.
Name the last five books in your world that you've either read or listened to. Atomic habits.
Boom. Let's stop there.
Love that book. You've never read.
I don't know. Stop, stop, stop.
I don't. Name the last five books in your world that you've either read or listened to.
Atomic Habits. Boom.
Let's stop there. Love that book.
You've never read. Atomic Habits, of course.
Who wrote it? I forgot his name, but I can tell you what the book's about. What is it? It's about the habitual, you know what I mean, learning about atomic energies within the earth and also the biosphere of the world and the universe.
No, but that is a good lie. I like that lie.
It's good okay anyway this is my point his his learn you're telling me that the fucking you're sorry go for it you're talking about that book is equivalent to the white album no my point is he's indulging in knowledge through books you indulge through music and i listen to audiobooks too just not those ones you do not listen to audio lord of the rings i did Because I wanted to get all of it. I wanted to get all of it, right? I did.
Bob, I know you're so... J.R.
Tolkien. He didn't narrate it because he was too old.
Eric Stolkin? No, no. J.R.
Tolkien, right? And I'll tell you another thing. I listened to Ram Dass, spiritual shit.
Okay. So that's in your face.
I know you do. I'm so sorry I'm being rude.
Yeah, yeah. I'm glad you're reading.
I'm being rude. Yeah, yeah.
And I'm glad you're reading.

I'm being rude.

Yeah, yeah.

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Not available in all states. But, yeah, music for me was always about working out, dancing.
That's what it always accompanied for me. It never really accompanied me sitting in my room going oh my god what he's saying is perfect i i didn't right for that okay it was dancing how about this this is people always say what's your last meal what's the last song you'd prefer to hear before you die if you could control the last song to hear before you go out because you you know, I think sometimes.
I know. I know what it is.
What is it? Nat can call wonderful life. Wow.
Not good? No. Yeah, it's good.
I didn't pick you. I did not think that.
That, that song. I love black people.
You said that three times. We established that already.
Yeah. I think the fans are going to call it out at this point.
Why? That's insane. You keep saying it.
You can say whatever I want. Oh, reinforce it.
Okay, no, that's the last one. My point is that I like that song because it gives me the good feels.
I could be in the worst mood, and that song comes, and I am happy-go-lucky. It changes everything.
I'm frolicking. I'm light.
You know i mean i'm um yeah i'm a new man i love that song what do you think if you were going out what's the song you'd like to hear right before you go billy jean billy jean oh that's a good song that makes me come alive all right billy jean does yeah every time i hear that song i want to get up and do something yeah yeah you're a good dancer by the way uh i've i've you know my dancing skills have declined over the years however uh growing up in the northwest suburbs of chicago you know this i mean you grew up did you hit the you're a little younger than i am a lot younger uh we hit the teen dance clubs you ever go to toto's no really acapulco bar not really that that missed our generation i was more of a live show guy i went to live live concert you went to a lalapalooza or what was it lalapalooza yeah wasn't that the big thing lalapalooza was that but did you ever do you ever heard of fireside bowl do you remember fireside bowl no no i liked little indie indie hip hop and rock shows and they throw them at these like, Fireside Bowl, look it up. I don't know.
It used to be- Well, I want to know about Toto. So walk me through Toto.
You show up. Cover charge? Cover charge? Yeah.
Line? Line. Do people know you? You get in right in? No, they know him.
Now? Yeah, but back then. I was never the guy who knew the bouncerouncer but i was always with a guy that had the in right this is teen dance club 17 mcgreevy's another one wow mcgreevy's yeah so is that total right there no that's fireside bowl oh it is okay hip-hop shows no where was that at is that downtown fireside bowl is on uh i don't even know where it was it was uh just outside in fullerton, yeah.
Fullerton, okay. Yeah, no, I didn't...
Well, how old are you? 40. Okay, so 10 years.
That's a big gap. So, yeah.
We're close. No teens.
Yeah, you're... Yeah, but you didn't...
This is Chicago in the late 89, 90, Toto's, McGreevy's, Discovery Club. That's the hot shit.
That was the hot spot. This was going down up and down Harlem Avenue, cruising in our cars.
You ever do that? No. Now, did you have to break off the bouncer every time? It sounds like American graffiti, by the way.
It does. He was living in Saturday Night Fever.
Milkshakes? You like milkshakes? Okay. Malts? This is Saturday Night Fever.
He's just explaining us the story of Saturday Night. I met him Saturday night.

You met Mr. Saturday Night?

John Chavante to Volta.

Whoa.

Yeah, where?

He was at the comedy store.

When?

Saturday Night, I just said.

Oh, I thought you said Mr. Saturday Night.

Oh, this Saturday?

This Saturday, he was there.

So Tommy Lee was there with Brittany Furlong.

She was doing a show in the belly room.

What's so funny? You said Furlong, and it's funny to me. Because it's like the length of a horse in a horse race.
It is? What's her last name? Furlan. Exactly.
Okay, I just laughed. Okay.
The boys did it. Did you know who I was talking about? Let's move on.
Anyway, so Tommy's there and I met Tommy before, right? So I went up and I went, eh, you know me? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, good socially, right, right? Eh, you know what I mean? I grabbed his wrist and I do a bump with my hip to the side. Smart.
No, it wasn't because he went like, what the fuck, right? And then because he was in conversation with John Travolta. And I look up and I go, oh, fuck.
Because, you know, I saw it all. Lucas talking.
The grease. Good one to start with.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The grease, you know what saw it all lucas talking you know the grease one to start with yeah yeah the grease you know i mean the one where he's you know i mean the the the cowboy western one that he did lucas talking too yeah that's what right and then um anyway it's saturday night live right pulp fiction fever i mean pulp fiction right so thank you so much in the valley of violence So I go, hey, I'm Bobby and you, and he didn't say anything.

So I go, I mean. Pulp Fiction.
Right. So thank you so much.
In the valley of violence. So I go, hey, I'm Bobby and you and he didn't say anything.
So I go, I know you're John Travolta. And I know so embarrassing.
So did you get a good energy back? No, bad, bad, bad energy. Yeah.
Because when I don't expect it and it comes out of nowhere, I don't know how to do it. I get I read I read the situation wrong.
Well, what did he look like? Was he, was he kind of look like that? Like in hairspray? No, no, no, no, no. He looked like the previous photo that you had.
Was he bald? Yeah, he's bald. Yeah, yeah.
It's in his eyes. What is? Travolta.
He's in his eyes? The Travolta is in his eyes. You know, even when he gets older, it's in, you can tell it's in his eyes the travolta is in his eyes you know even when he gets older it's in you can tell it's in the eye you're saying like all of his ability and and look at those eyes yeah yeah i see that it looks like eyes so were you were you taken aback by the eyes did you did you is that why you got flustered well i mean at first in my mind i'm like a split second, I was like, I know this person and he could be a comedian.
I was just trying, you know, going through the thing. I go, then I went, oh fuck, it's John Travolta.
And then at that point I was looking at his eyes and he was doing some sort of like Scientology, you know what I mean? Like alien thing, right? And I went, you know what I mean? I go, you're John Travolta! You know what I mean? Oh, I, right? I went, you know what I mean? I went, you know what I mean?

And then I was like, oh, I got fucking bamboozled by his energy, you know?

And I walked away.

You should have just been like, where's Shelley Miscavige?

Where's she at, John?

Or let's like, yeah, yeah.

And then just walked away.

But then I also bowed to his grandmother and his daughter, I believe.

So I go, John Travolta, and I looked at them and I bowed for something. I don't know why.
Well, it's instinct. Thank you.
Heritage. Anyway.
Have you ever been taken aback? I mean, look, dude, your resume speaks for itself. You've worked with some of the greatest legends of our business.
Have you been taken aback? Prince. Prince knocked you out, huh? Knocked me out.
Tell us.

Can we get another story?

Tell me Prince.

This is actually with Steve Byrne.

And who else was it?

Butch Bradley.

Butch Bradley.

I don't know who that is.

Comic.

We were in Las Vegas.

I'm going to say this is, you got like a crack research team back there.

Well, emphasis on crack for sure.

When Prince did the Super Bowl, I think it was maybe 07, ish around right when did prince do the super bowl and let him continue let's go guys go ahead anyway yeah we were in las vegas performing i want to say at the tropicana hotel oh seven for the weekend oh so okay and butch bradley knew uh somebody that was producing the commercial for the Super Bowl. That somebody saw Butch Bradley on the marquee and said, listen, I need funny guys to do something with Prince for a promo.
Holy shit. So we go in.
This is at the Venetian Hotel banquet room. We're sitting around a banquet room table.

And they said Prince is going to come in after we kind of do the you know he didn't he wasn't going to sit through our deal so he comes in and he's got two beautiful women flanking him this is beautiful i've yet to incorporate this into my life but if there's a moment to do so i definitely will came in with two incense sticks and they were holding the incense sticks and it was like immediately you were in the you were just in prince's aura oh my god wow God. Wow.
And he sat down with the eyes, and everybody was staring at him, and no one really wanted to communicate with him, and he's like, why are you so serious? Yeah. And he kind of broke the ice by doing that.
We did a couple shots with him. He got up, the incense sticks were there and he left.
And I got to tell you, looking into this man's eyes just was, just like a different human being. Yeah.
You know what I'm saying? Wow. So that's...
It's incredible. That's my...
I mean, he was... One of the most talented people on planet Earth.
But you're such a magic man. Magic.
He's a magic man. He's a magic man.
He's a magic man. I get it.
That's not even a real, it's like God did it for us and they were like, we're going to give you a couple of these. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Oh yeah, well who are these people? Of magic people? Magic men people. Well, Michael Jackson might be.
Michael Jackson was a magic man. Magic man.
Magic they. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Have you ever come come across this is another guy i think is magic

uh tom cruise have you ever been in his have you no never yeah you can tell that he is though yeah i could just see that you know through through how he behaves it's someone that's very connected connected yeah i can tell that he is magic man because without giving away much One of my closest friends who you know works with him.

And I mean, sitting... is magic man because without giving away much one of my closest friends who you know works with him uh and i mean sitting on the plane like is with him with him and the story she's told and the way she's dealt with such like high-powered people but she talks about him it's like an enigma like she's like it's inained.
The way he maneuvers and moves, the way he contacts people,

the way he's able to like be with someone, stay with them for a minute.

And then when he's done, they feel like fulfilled.

Instead of like, you know how in LA people like talking through you a little bit.

They're like, good to see you, man.

Yeah.

What's been going on?

They're not looking.

He like hones in, has this relationship.

And then she's like, it is unbelievable to watch him work.

She says it's like he's at work. Even when he's not shooting, he's at work with people.
I heard he says hi to everybody. He remembers your name.
Remembers your name, right? And I knew he was a good guy when he did that red carpet and those people pulled the prank where they squirted the water in his face. Why would you do that? That's what he said.
That's what he said, right? Why would you do that? Like, if it was Jean-Claude Van Damme, he just kind of held his hand and goes, why did you do that? I was being nice. I came up to you.
And I knew at that moment, I go, this is a good guy. It was a brilliant, look at this reaction.
Hits him in the face with water. Is that what it was? It was in France or something.
Yeah, yeah, Here we go. It's a suspense one.
Do you think it's funny? Stretchable. Actually, stretchable.
It's true to me. You can tell he's like diving in.
Diving in. Where's the spray at? Look at how calm he is.
grabs him but you can tell he's angry I know look watch it's brilliant though why would you alright that's what that's it what's great is he says do you like making less of people it was so calm it's such a what a line do you like making less of people and you what I wish I wish we saw that the other guy's face because you'd be watching a man crumble as he's being emasculated oh so good luck ever getting ever getting in a red carpet interview again. You're out.
That guy was, I remember, he was a famous prankster in France. I can't remember his name, but he did shit like this all the time.
But he did it so calmly. He grabbed his, imagine a man grabbing your wrist like a boy.
Like a little boy and going, why would you do that? I mean, you'd crumble down. Like, what would you do? Like, what would you do, Seth? You squirted me in the face? Yeah.
I would probably walk away. Yeah.
I'd just walk away. Yeah.
And you'd be mad the whole time though. Of course I'd be mad.
I don't think I could confront the person. I would probably be stunned and I would walk away because in my head, what's coming next? You know? Ah.
Is it acid it acid am i happening right right see he thinks deep analytical i you know my anger would be it's over i would have hurt him i would i just i would immediately find an in a comedic sense my brain would go got to do something mean but funny i would try to find water or a drink of some and grab it and throw it on him as fast as i could i would immediately try to but i would do it in a way that was almost like i'm trying to hit you like you know like my hand might be holding onto the cup as i hit you in the face with it that's pretty aggressive yeah well punch him in the face no no see because punching because this if i did that but he i could say i just squirted him back but what he did was assault i'm sorry that's assault you're allowed to punch him in the face face. I don't think that's...
Well, I think this was more powerful. You're right.
Yeah. And if this ever happens to any of us, I would suggest that we take the Tom Cruise route, bring the man in, and...
Belittle him. Yeah.
Belittle him. Yeah, yeah.
Why'd you do that? Now, do you think that's a thing that you should have done? Like a child? He talked to him like a child. You're right.
He did it the right way he's shrunk a man to nothing down yeah yeah now would you ever do a christian bale outburst on a set well we heard that he did yeah we heard sebastian he burst like that on every set he's on he's never not done that i can't imagine scorsese has said that in a bunch of interviews yeah yeah he's like you know who's like, you know who's a real asshole? Sebastian. Have you ever blown up at all? No, you're so calm.
You're calm. I don't know.
I've never seen... It takes a lot to get me angry.
I mean, there are times where I get frustrated and mad, but not to the point where it's an outburst of yelling and screaming, losing control. Did your father ever blow up or was he all had the same demeanor as you? He was a little bit more, he had a little bit more of a temper and he would let it go.
Just around us. Not, I don't think around other people.
Right. I don't like, I don't like public displays of anything.
Anything. Yeah.
When you see somebody kiss in public, like when someone's making out in a line, you're waiting in a line kiss in public like when someone's making out in a line you're waiting in a line for a thing when someone's making out it bothers you a lot a heavy make out in public and like really yeah yeah kiss on the lips hey i mean it's fine but like we're like going at it in the line i don't really see again we did the the same thing happened when I did Tiger Pella.

No, you do this thing where your eyes

start wandering around the room.

Wait, wait.

You see it?

You see it on the camera?

He was looking over here.

No.

Do you know why?

No, we talked about this.

Why?

What did I say?

I'm just saying.

Whatever you're doing right now, I don't like.

What are you doing right now?

I was just making an observation. Yeah, but you don't know.
And what did I say before when I was doing that, I don't like. What are you doing right now? I was just making an observation.

Yeah, but you don't know.

And what did I say before when I was doing that?

I don't know what the fuck it was.

I'm thinking, I'm listening to you.

I'm ingesting what you're saying.

And I'm going, oh, that's good.

I like what he's saying.

You know what I mean?

That kind of thing.

Let me tell you something.

Yeah, yeah.

Especially after the conversation we just hopped off. okay would Tom Cruise do that yeah oh you want lock it in lock it in you got to realize yeah yeah yeah you know what it's like when you're thinking Sebastian when you're thinking about oh my god movement of conversation you're thinking in a way where you're swimming in in a pool there's a little bit of water resistance but it's not heavy he's swimming in quicksand when he's trying to think it's quicksand that's why he needs to dart it's such a thick mess it's a clogged artery up there and so when he's thinking his brain is just like stardew valley arsenal he's trying to get those away to think about where you are yeah yeah that's what i know i see you in that order pretty much i know i see you doing stardew valley and then arsenal and then and then you're thinking about food at home yeah yeah what do i have at my house no i had a meatball sandwich see that's what i thought i know he was right here no i'm listening to everything you're saying but also can, can I just say this before? It's just that I don't, you know,

I feel so comfortable around you

that I feel like I can dart.

I have no problem with it.

I just remember that happening on the other podcast

and I asked you what was going on.

And what did I say to that?

Again, I forgot.

I don't know what the hell it was.

But it's almost as if you are physically thinking.

I could see the thoughts.

Okay, okay.

Because it's just a lot of like...

I want to control that.

Fine, do it.

No, I don't want to do it because I'm in situations

where I shouldn't be darting.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

So it's like if I'm at the pitch meeting today,

I was darting a lot.

And they're like, don't dart.

Are you darting on dates? I dart on dates all the time. That's bad.
And they don know, if I'm, you know, like at the pitch meeting today, you know, I was darting a lot. And they're like, don't dart.
Are you darting on dates?

I dart on dates all the time.

That's bad.

And they don't think that I'm interested.

Well, how can, I mean, you know.

Yeah, yeah.

Also, I've learned some new things, you know, while I've been dating lately.

I've been learning some new things.

What are some things?

What?

What are you learning?

I learned that if there's no physical touch from them, in terms of like even touching your arm or like, you know, that kind of thing, don't go in for a kiss. This could be a sex ed teacher.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because what I've noticed is, you know- General cues.
I know, because when I ask people like, you know, I went on this date with this girl for three times and there's no kiss, right? And people are like, I wonder what that is. But then in my, I have kissed before.
And so I just been seeing all the signs of the kisses before. And I just realized that there needs to be, you know what I mean? Some sort of like affection.
And then if they're not touching it at all and they're doing like quick, sometimes they do that. Like I'll lean in and they'll pull away.
That's not good. We should just end the day.

Yeah.

And this last girl that I had,

I even tested her today.

I'm not lying.

I just basically said that when you get out of the car,

it's just almost as if you're jumping out of a plane.

Like when I'm dropping off,

like that was a great day.

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Peloton. She's off, you know what I mean? And she opens the door so quickly, I don't have even time to even get in there, right? And so in my mind I'm like, if that happens it's a no-go ask her how quickly she showers after the date that'll be a tell i don't get it if she immediately showers when she gets home it's just she's trying to wash you when she runs away she's trying to shed you off of her how do i say that they'll go hey you know the last date we went you know you can't left the car Did you take a shower like right away? After we go on a date, do you shower right after? They're like, yeah, I do.
Like I do three showers actually in a row. I do a scrub ranch, scrub ranch, scrub ranch.
I shower, bathe. Yeah, yeah.
And then in my mind I should go. That's it.
That's it. Block your number.
He's not interested in me. Right, obviously.
Yeah, yeah. Well, let me ask you this.
Uh-oh. Well, because you were in a relationship for a long time and i don't really know your dating patterns when you go out with a girl for the first time like where where are we going restaurant what do we know i'm glad you're asking and this is a very good question sorry something came up yeah we heard it so So, number one, some people spend their money, right, on things like watches, right, or cars and whatnot.
You know? But some people, like myself, I like, you know, food. Yeah.
Like, nice restaurants, right? You mad at me at me why don't be mad at me it's okay

yeah just people are different we are very different yeah i'll you know like

oh don't bro see this yeah this is just an instagram quick buy i look at it inside i buy it you know what i mean so i i do it like that i often wonder who buys that it's me i'm the guy yeah i'm the guy dude what idiot as you're scrolling who in their right mind yes i'm the one even if i feel like it's not gonna work i buy it anyway oh they've got me they've got me just to see yeah so anyway so um i have probably 10 spots that i generally go to for the first day where i know the menu i know how to park and i know that everyone likes it almost yeah i mean what is one of those places give me a spot well so well he doesn't want to give him a lot because now when i say it other girls listening now because most of them are bad friends fans they're gonna keep brought me there yeah you know what i mean he's cycling i cycle through same five. It's actually kind of five to six places.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

So there's nothing wrong with saying the place.

I mean, it's the place-

All right.

So I'll give you.

And I know that this is a spot that you like

because I've seen you there before.

Yes.

I don't think we've ever seen each other in a restaurant.

We have.

Oh.

You can say Chosun?

Where is it?

Is it the one up on the roof?

No.

Chosun. Yeah, Chosun Goldbing.
It was a Korean restaurant on Olympic, and I did run into you there. You're with your wife.
I swear to God. I don't think so.
Yeah. I'll tell you why now.
Because it's a story that I tell every girl that I bring there. One time I ran into Sebastian here.
Really? Do you think he would show up now? Yeah, yeah. It's things so i know oh i have to ask a lot of that what's it called chosan we'll text it to you you will say yeah yeah yeah anyway so that's it i think it's one of the best korean places well we go we did your birthday there we do it we've done we've been there a million times you took me to a a thai place on sunset twice.
Toy? I love toy.

Is that it?

Yeah.

Back in the day though when you used to hang out.

You still go there?

No.

I have some money now, man.

Oh, okay.

Hey, hey, hey.

What?

Too much?

There's nothing wrong with toy.

You're right.

You're right.

If you want great tie,

go to toy.

Well, good tie, not great.

Right.

So then I also go,

I'm not done, okay?

Okay. Please.
Another one I do because I know go, I'm not done. Okay.
Okay.

Please.

Another one I do because I know the guy is major Domo.

Mm-hmm.

David Chang's restaurant in Chinatown because I know what to get there.

It's also, you know, what's great about dates and everyone listening right now, you go to

a place where you can share.

Yeah.

Right.

If you have individual, but if you can somehow like, you know, they have their hand in the hummus

and you can accidentally kind of touch hands.

Like,

oh,

you go first.

You can have those little moments.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Oh,

what do you mean?

What do you mean?

You know what I mean?

Or you do something cute like,

hey,

you know what?

I can't get that plate.

I'm going to just sit next to you.

So I'll pull my chair around.

You know what I mean?

And sit next to him and then just eat that little bit. Make fun.
Have fun. It sounds fun.
Yeah, yeah, it's fun. It's fun, right? Here's another thing I do, and this is a great thing.
I walk away a lot. You leave them.
No, no. What I do is I do this.
So if they go, if they make fun of my body, right? Are you on a date with me? What are you talking about? Yeah, sometimes they make fun of me like, God, you're fat, right? I'll go, you son of a bitch. And I'll walk away like I'm leaving the restaurant.
Sometimes I'll even just leave. Right.
I'll come back and we have a good laugh about it. That's fun.
All right, so it's an interesting time with you. I mean, it's very communal.
You're eating the same food. You go to the car, you come back.
Bastia is a place? Bastia? No one's going to be bored with him on a date. Yeah.
Can you? Look, I'll be annoying for two seconds. Is there any? Probably not.
But is there any Scorsese stories that you can share at all? I have a Scorsese story. I also like the Pesci one, but move on.
Pesci.

Whatever. He invited you to the trailer.

Pesci. Yeah, this was before

that. Okay.

So, we're going to do

the scene in the

Copacabana, myself, De Niro,

and Pesci.

Amazing. So cool.

And I didn't know what to expect. I don't know if you guys go through this.
Prior to a new TV show or a new movie that you're going to do, it's like a first- You mean Farts Part 3? What are you talking about? I do shit movies. Yeah, our resume is not- Yeah, it's not like- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You guys have done movies where you're popping in, maybe yeah okay not maybe not not there the whole movie like whack-a-mole we're whack and they go away yeah that's all we've been in there yeah yeah go ahead so i feel for me it's like a uh uh like school and i'm an exchange student coming in in the middle of the year and everybody's friends are ready and i have to kind of make friends with the i know the what i said you can relate i relate to this yeah this situation because he literally had the same thing happen to him okay yeah that's what i feel when i come in on these like two three days or whatever i'm doing may interject i know it's your story no no good but also it's like the highest level of that yeah you know what i mean i mean these are like are like- This is Harvard. I grew up watching Mean Streets, Tax River, you know what I mean? Raging Bull.
I mean, all of it. This is like you're a new student at MIT.
I can't imagine the pressure and the nervousness. I just can't imagine it.
But go on. Imagine at MIT, they're building a fucking rocket and you walk in the room and they all just turn and they go right back to work.

That's what in my mind-

Is what it is.

I would feel-

You're like nothing.

Yeah.

They're like, oh, he's fucking here.

Well, I think this is the problem with us is we create this situation that doesn't even

exist yet, right?

Oh, yeah.

Fear, false evidence appearing real.

Yes.

So I went in with the expectation of questioning myself.

Do I belong here?

What am I doing?

I'm a comedian.

And now I'm working with these two guys.

So the rehearsal is just Scorsese, De Niro, and Pesci, and myself.

And we're going over the scene.

And I didn't know what to expect.

I didn't know if they were going to be in their own world or but they were very gracious hey how you doing the new one had to come up to me and say you're doing good things you're doing good good things oh okay maybe he knows what i'm doing so i felt kind of like okay that's a nice positive thing i know and then uh i do the scene cut and they all get together in a huddle and i'm not in the huddle i'm thinking this is it i'm going home yeah they didn't like what they saw they're having second guesses yeah but again this is i i i'm negative in any of my thoughts i give you a decision me today. I got an email from a doctor and I'm going to go over some blood work.
They said, can we move the appointment from 10, 15 to 10 o'clock? I surmised that they need an extra 15 minutes to tell me I'm going to die.'s where my head is constantly yeah so in this situation i thought i was i was done

it was over and then uh obviously that was not the case i i you know we we worked out the scene

over and over again and it turned out great and then you know scorsese ended up

in between shots it was like it was like 50 minutes to set up the shot basically

the over and over again and it turned out great and then you know scorsese ended up in between shots it was like it was like 50 minutes to set up the shot basically kind of sat with myself and not even the main cast just the other actors that were there telling us how he grew up in new york laughing telling jokes thanksgiving was around the corner started talking about his you know thanksgiving plans and at moments i'm sitting there going man this is a guy that you know to your point watched growing up watched all of his movies was kind of an icon and in filmmaking the fact that he came from an italian american background and now you know he's sitting there telling me he's going where he's going for thanksgiving i was, I was, it was, it was a really nice moment. So I think the, the, the point of the story is sometimes we create something and we think that maybe we don't belong, but truly we do belong.
And you just have to kind of believe in yourself and your abilities. But may I add, we, we still don't belong.
I don't want to stick with that. Yeah, yeah.
With our side. We're not in.
We're on the outside. But yeah, yeah, yeah.
But can I say this though? Window watching. There are times though, like because you know, with the little work I've done, I've still worked with Ben Kingsley.
I did a scene with him. I did a scene with Ed Norton.
I've done a scene with the new movie coming out with Cate blanchett and jamie lee curtis and everybody and you build it up in your mind i remember like the first time i was doing borderlands i was in hunt i was in hungary budapest and i remember i get a call like yeah um eli wants to meet you on set right i was shooting for a week he wants to meet you right now i don't know why they urgently drive me there and I walk onto set and they're all there. Like, hey, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis, everybody.
And then Eli comes out. He goes, hey, I just wanted to meet you, man.
Dude, thanks for doing it. He gave me a hug.
Everyone was super nice. Like, hey, we're going to have dinner tonight.
You know what I mean? And then in my mind, I'm like, oh, they're just regular people. But in our minds, we build it up to this thing where it's like, don't lock eyes with them, or you might go, you know what I mean? You might be out, you know? And you hear some of these nightmarish stories.
You know, you've heard it before, but it's like, that hasn't really been my experience. I just, you know, you too, right? When you're with Zac Efron and John Cena, I mean.
Those guys never talked to me. Not one word.
The whole filming. Yes, they did.
You went to Russell Crowe's house? Yeah, we did. Yeah, yeah, yeah we did yeah yeah yeah yeah okay so are you on set the comic relief are people coming to you are you are you mister like personality with that movie was a comedy and so yeah and pete fairly and i were like you know we i would stand around him and just we would pitch each other jokes i mean that was like a i've never done a serious film in my life so i don't know i don't know what that would feel like to do like a real for me it's everything i've touched is like a goofball it's it's wacky so it doesn't there is no pressure in that regard but that's an interesting point because scorsese it's out of our it's not in our world right it's like you You're playing with the greatest actors ever to live.

You know what I mean?

I mean, and I know you, you're a comedy star comic. I saw you the first time you ever went up.
Remember that? Remember that one time you came over with that one line for that HBO show? I had something with a plane or something and we rehearsed it over. I was living in that condo on Beachwood.
Right. And I'm like, you're going to get this.
You didn't get it. And I remember you being kind of bummed you didn't get it.
Right. But my point is, is that, so this is the world you come from.
So I guess, you know, in many ways, it's a little different what dealing with Scorsese in that way. I think the pressure is a little bit more, I think.
Well, because, yeah, his his pedigree is so,ree is so, you know. Yeah.
Not to say that these other people we work like Eli are fairly, I mean, they're legends in their own worlds, but Scorsese is, I don't know. He's the top-up.
It's in a league of his own. Like Tarantino, Scorsese, maybe, I don't know, Oliver Stone, I don't know.
Spielberg? Spielberg. I mean, there's like five or six of them that are like that.
John Krasinski. I didn't mention sorry.
John Krasinski. If.
I think he's coming up, dude. He'll be right next to Scorsese one day.
I think he's very talented. Shut up.
Scorsese. John Krasinski's got the talent.
Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is bananas. It's not bananas.
I don't want to do this debate again. We're not doing anything.
Yeah, please. Just work with him.
I know you do. And he is very talented.
I know. i know but scorsese but listen here's the scorsese here's another story go ahead scorsese wants to see your wig i was wearing a wig in the in the in the movie yeah put the wig on and i'm waiting to go in this is the first meeting i'm ever gonna have with this guy i walk in sit down and he starts talking about movies from the 30s 40s this guy's like a movie savant right i haven't seen yeah yeah yeah so i'm trying to figure out how you how do i hop out of this and get into it's like someone talking to me about the beatles i just didn't know the movies he was talking about yeah so i go what could we connect on kids so i just had a kid at the time so we started talking about kids family whatnot i walk out and the wig person goes what'd he say but the wig i go i think he thinks it's my hair there was no mention of the wig no nothing yeah yeah talked about movies and kids and then and i walked out and you know apparently the wig was was okay but um yeah i i don't know how to uh navigate those types of conversations where i'm in the i feel like i'm at a disadvantage yeah yeah well i mean i mean when i did that movie that movie, the shoes and what I said.

So I was, I show up to Budapest.

I don't know anybody.

And my agents were like,

no one's going to hang out with you.

You have a month there alone.

You're going to be alone.

So I show up to my fucking hotel room.

We're at the Four Seasons in Budapest.

And there's a letter on my bed.

Dear Bobby, you know, I don't know you,

but can you want to have lunch tomorrow at noon it was by jamie lee curtis a huge fan right so my god i couldn't sleep that night i was like what am i gonna say i gotta do something you know i think i re-watch halloween or i don't know what the fuck i think right and i show up pleasant lunch then some of the other actors show up and jamie goes I want to show you guys something that's very important here in Budapest.

So we walk over to the river.

And along this river, there's these bronze shoes that are kind of like cemented into the fucking ground. And it's, you know, she explains during Nazi Germany, the Germans came in here and they killed a lot of Jews.

And they threw them over the end of the river.

So one of the actors,

Cheyenne Jackson goes,

oh no,

these are baby shoes.

Right?

And like a fucking moron,

I go,

it could have been a...

Well, this is reminiscent

of Travolta.

Yeah, right.

And then the whole group

walked away from it.

Yeah.

And I went, and it didn't get a laugh. And laugh and I went oh yeah you're not at the store right you know I mean so I have to literally like go this is Bobby you know me in a movie this is Bobby amongst comics and it's that kind of stuff that keeps you out of Mitzi's office at the end of the day that's kind of an I think that's what it is that's really.
That's really it. I think that's what it is.
It's that kind of stuff. So I did read that wrong.
It's a bad joke. It's a bad joke.
It's a bad joke, but also you were trying to lighten the mood. I was trying to be funny.
Give it some levity. Even if I was at the comedy store.
It wouldn't have landed. It wouldn't have landed.
No. But that's because you're nervous.
Yeah. I'm nervous.
I'm like, I want people to like me. me you know what i mean i told you i had i've said this on here but we've told this story but the same thing i had when jim carrey was my boss and i'm dying up here and we were eating and uh conversation was going great it was about comedy so we're in our zone you know what i mean like it was perfect it was like we're ping pong and i was like holy shit he's telling me guys he loved i'm saying bits that i love from guys from back in the day and we're going back and forth back and forth then there's like a little lull and i was like so where are you like where are you living these days and he was like everywhere man where is everybody living and i was like fuck fuck and it was an inescapable well i don't get what he's saying, though.
He's trying to say dumb question. I don't want to talk about it.
Oh. I'm going to tell you where I fucking live.
Yeah. It was like none of your business.
A nice way of being like none of your business a little bit. Not that he wasn't so gracious.
I think it was a way of being like, I don't really talk about where I live to people. Do you know what I mean? In his mind, it's like.
He could have done like a Brentwood kind of a thing. I think he was just goofing around a little bit, but it was a way of being like i don't really talk about where i live to people do you know what i mean in his mind it's like could have done like a brentwood kind of a thing i think he was just goofing around a little bit but it was a little like hey come on yeah we're not we're not gonna get close you know i mean he was kind of like saying like this is the last dinner like do you text robert denaro or no no so after you did two movies with him, he played your dad in, what's it, the family?

About My Father, yeah.

About My Father?

Right, and after the premiere, after all that,

you never talked to him again.

There might have been one exchange of a text message,

but no, we didn't have that type of relationship.

You know, we did the scene.

He sat down at his chair and, I don't know, up a noble and i was learning learning my life well so there was never like hey you want to grab a bite after this no wow no it wasn't like those guys also are the age gap they're settled in their ways they've been doing this for so long they probably like a system a lot of those guys they like it their way they kind of want to yeah but i'm doing the pitch today right i was like they're like what actors do you think and i'm my i'm my i'm lowball like people i can get how about the guy that's on ncis or whatever it might be right the eighth lead right i mean for him to go dinero is insane yeah it's wacky did you ask him personally or you went through agents and stuff? No. We, the producer of our film had worked with Robert before and he reached out to him and said, hey, I got a script you might want to like.
He read it. We got wind from his team that he really enjoyed it and he wanted to read it out loud, get it up on its feet around with a bunch of actors.
So the studio hired a bunch of actors in New York. We all sat around the tables.
You flew to New York? Yeah. For a table read.
No, he walked. He walked to New York.
I know. He flew to New York.
To fly to a city for a table read, you would do that? If Robert De Niro. Yeah, you're right, you're right.
You're right, you're right, you're right. Goes, hey, kid, I need you in the Maldives in an hour and a half on your own dime.
Yeah. I'd be like, I will fucking rent a private jet, Robert De Niro.
What level would you not do it? Let me throw some actors. Cary Elwes from A Princess Bride.
I do love him. He's great.
I need you in New York right now. And I would say, my sweet Wesley, I'm on my way.
You would say, yes, to Cary Elwes. I don't know, man.
Yeah. What's the project? It's a great movie.
What is it? It's a movie about- Do it in a British accent. Hello.
It's a movie about- He's English? Kerry Alwes is English? I thought his name's Kerry? Yeah. I thought it was a woman.
You don't know who Carrie Elwes is?

No.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's British.

You've never, you don't, never heard.

He didn't have one at The Princess Bride.

Oh, interesting.

So his accent was different in a movie than it is in real life.

I didn't, never seen an interview with him, so I don't know.

Right.

So what about, what if Seb called?

And asked me to do something for him?

And he goes, I have a table read in New York tomorrow.

Will you fly to New York?

Yeah, that's not even a, that's, come on. What are we a no no it's a hundred percent a yes I don't know I would do it in a heartbeat I think who's in it okay I'll fly to New York for you god you'd have to think about it no I would fuck fuck yeah dude anything for him so what are you plugging that you have a movie coming out? Or what is it? What's going on here? So smooth.
No one does it better. Nobody flows better.
I look at the numbers and they're fine. So I'm doing something right.
No, no. I know.
I'm saying- I'm not going to change. You shouldn't.
I love you so much. I love you more than you.
Okay. How long have you been doing this podcast? Four, five.
How many years? Four years? Four and a half years? How many half years how many episodes four long years four long long years how many episodes are we on fans

223 223 has there been uh was there a moment in your podcast it was like a tipping point

where you're like wow we're off to the races we got a beautiful fan base or is this something

that's a gradual build and kept onboarding people when did you know you were popular episode one

Thank you. to the races we got a beautiful fan base or is this something that was a gradual build and kept onboarding people when did you know you were popular episode one the first one no i i would say i say this was a confluence of you know not to give like the backstory of the but the truth really was bobby relapsed and his dad had died and i was with him dealing with it filling in for him on his other show with his ex at the time and so I did a bunch of fill-ins and then we had a personal situation where I wanted him to get help and then he was like when I get out I think we should start that show that we had joked about starting and when he got out was like funnier and healthier and happier than he'd ever been on the heels of tragedy of his father.
And we started the show in a little bullshit studio, a piece of shit, cockroach infested. How gross.
It was fucking gross. And right away, we were having so much fun fucking with each other.
And then COVID hit. And so it was like.
Perfect timing. And then not...
Anyway. No, but it was just like the harmony.

The first episode was wacky, insane.

And when we put it out,

people were like,

oh yeah, this is... We've been wanting these...

Because the fans had said

we should get together for years.

Oh, okay.

But also we...

I had this YouTube show called Talking.

Yeah, I did that.

It was an interview show

and he was one of the guys.

And I just...

I always thought that

that one was my favorite one. The way he just hit the we kind of rode the edge together in a weird way yeah if just back then people started being like why don't these two idiots get together and over the years we joked about it's something and then to be honest kalilah his ex was she put she was like why don't you guys do it and we were like i don't know i no idea.
And truth be known, and I'm going to say something that's not funny and honest, is that because I know about Simon and Garfunkel and Wham, they all broke up, right? It's egos, right? So for me, it's like he's the captain of the ship. Stop.
No, stop, stop. I'm being honest right now.
Stop it. I'm not stopping anything.

He's the responsible one.

No.

Yes.

Well, responsible, but that's- And also, I give you a lot of the decision-making, I feel like.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, so my point being is that-

I have to because you're sleeping.

I know, exactly.

You're right.

But you know what I mean?

But it's like, sometimes I'm awake.

And even in those times I'm awake, I go, let Andrew do this.

You know what I mean?

And so I think there needs to be like my ego. You know what I mean? It's not an ego thing with us.
I think that's what's helped. Like when he did that movie, you know, with the Fairley Brothers movie or Fairley movie, I filled in with him.
And the first time in my life, I was like so happy for somebody and going, yeah, you know, I'll take care of our home until you come back. You what I mean so it's like it's the first situation where like there's no ego and I'm just happy we're happy for each other and we get along for the most part I think well when you you know you and Pete are old friends right well yeah it kind of I didn't know you guys were that tight first of all I didn't know that you fell off the wagon that's several times i only have two and a half years now i've put him in rehab what three times yeah three times oh i didn't know that yeah i almost died wow don't what this is fyi okay yeah man for for your information for your information for for fyi i mean so anyway um yeah yeah we've got yeah we've been through kind of the i guess the ringer so there's a history there yeah i know pete and i had known and have known each other for 12 years and kind of same thing there was no tragedy or anything like that but we uh it wasn't going to be funny i like it it was so tragedy but uh yeah we started our, years ago.
And I've just always found it interesting how these things become what they are. Yeah.
And it's always nice to start it with somebody that you already have kind of like nobody put you two together and said you guys. Well, I will say I think that this is things that you know from stand up that like this show kind of exemplifies is like the fans.
It's so much fun. The fans send it.
All this is fan art. We interact with them a lot.
It just becomes kind of like this family. And whenever we do the live shows, he kind of reiterates that, that it's like it really feels like a family.
It's fucking weird. I feel like we all know each other.
It feels like it's... No, I've seen the videos.
You guys are out there. It's wild.
You're in the crowd. I think that helps the rhythm of it a little bit.
And you also meet them before the shows. We do a meet and greet and stuff like that.
And it's shocking to see the age range. We have people bring their 13-year-old sons to the show.
The walk of life are different. Some people are affluent.
Some people are more like us. You know whatitty i mean it's just it's a it's a great combination of people it's it's old ladies when we get when we get someone who looks like they would go to your show yeah meaning someone that's like well dressed yes we got one yeah when we get like a well-dressed someone that we know like valets you know what i mean yeah yeah we always go holy fuck a sebastian fan is here that's how we seriously feel let me ask you this i've been wondering because you know lately I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We always go, holy fuck, a Sebastian fan is here to play. That's how we seriously feel.
Let me ask you this, because lately I've been doing, I'm not headlining these things, but you do these big amphitheater-y kind of shows. I know you're used to that, but I did one with Bert and Tom, it was like 15,000 seats, and then I'm going out with Fully Loaded this Thursday.
They're a pretty big arena.

And even when I'm on stage,

I don't feel like it's a club.

I feel like it's not as fun really.

Do you like the bigger rooms? Do you like the bigger rooms?

Because it's not that fun.

You like it?

I mean, if I had a nice small theater,

1,500 seats.

I like the Wynn Hotel

where I perform in Las Vegas.

1,500 seats, nice, intimate. It's a a nice room i love that room yeah comedy club yeah you're there yeah uh comedy clubs great i love comedy clubs but you get into an arena it you know it loses some of the you know intimacy that you would that you normally see at a smaller place but um but it's exciting you know there's another feeling that you get when you don't do a theater or in a club.
It's like the energy of 15, 20,000 people screaming. But in your head, are you, I mean, for me sometimes it's like I'm on stage and for that many people I'm like, do I belong here? Like what the fuck is going, I don't even accept that this thing.
Do you, do you know how big you are, is what I'm asking you? That's a weird question probably, but, uh, if anywhere I feel comfortable, yeah, being on stage in front of three people, or, you know, 20,000 people, to me, it's, it's, that's the one place I feel like I'm, I'm comfortable. Have you ever done a show like that for three people? Like a corporate? I love corporates, by the way.
Yeah. But I've done those shows at the Comedy Star, to speak to what Bobby was saying, when I first came there, I got like these 12, 30, 1 o'clock spots.
Terrible. Terrible spots.
Yeah, yeah. I did a corporate for five adults.
Five people that was it planned for five or five showed up now he had a there was a day i can't mention the names but i'll tell you afterwards but he had a tough day canceled the party and decided to keep just the three four other confidants with him and i still had to perform and i couldn't say no because the check cleared so i was like okay good money huh

pretty good money yeah i was yeah well i fucking did it yeah yeah was this at a home or a banquet hall it was at a resort but in a banquet room in a restaurant at the resort that they had this man owns the resort which is even more it's like all his so he sent everyone home and i was like Like, okay.

And I grabbed the arm of the girl who was like liaisoning me.

Like they gave me like a house and i was in the house hanging watching tv eating a great meal i was just so excited i think i called my dad i was like i'm having a fucking weekend man this is amazing then we get in a golf cart we go to the restaurant and i grab her elbow like a scene out of a sitcom. I go, what's going on? I was like, how is this? And she goes, change of plans.
It was a tough day. I think he just wants to keep it intimate and it's just going to be the boys.
They just ate. They want to drink and laugh and then they're going to smoke cigars around the fire pit if that's okay.
I was like, well, it's not okay. But it's it's over i'm like what what could i have done and so then you know i had to i mean i worked out because i was just i just talked to them i mean i just was goofing with them but just basically having conversation but you're standing up yeah yeah and his friend was a fan his it was his birthday so i was kind of like a the other guys had no clue who i mean the other guys were like what the fuck is it what who is this guy yeah it didn't matter i was just but that was the most uncomfortable i felt in all my years and i was you did the full time i think i probably was up there for 30 or 40 just yeah i was just goofing i would do 12 at 12 i'm like hey yeah you usually do 12 that's not a big shift i'm sorry it's funny come on that's good it's a slam I've had people at clubs when I go to clubs sometimes go Bobby was here a couple years ago you know he did 17 minutes I'll tell you why can I tell you why let me defend myself may I defend myself if I'm not feeling it i'm not doing it okay yeah but there's a stop let me finish okay somebody and i don't know who came up with these rules the feature dot mc does this now feature does this right and this and that and my thing is is like fuck the rules all right if i'm not feeling it and it's not not going well i don't want to make everyone suffer through an abomination it's never going to be an abomination I know but in my mind it is so I'm like at 17 minutes that only happened like twice in my life you know what guys you win I'm out you know what I mean you're headlining and you did 17 minutes and what are the people there's a riot no there's a riot it's weird they get up slowly like is it over You're headlining and you do 17 minutes? Yeah.
And what are the people? There's a riot? No, there's a riot. They just kind of, it's weird.
They get up slowly like, is it over? You're right. And then the waitresses freak out because they haven't put the checks down.
Right. So I think one time I went out and go, hey, guys, wait for your checks.
Just talk amongst yourselves. Fuck you.
I'm out. You know what I mean? And that was it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.
It's true. That's unbelievable.
And then the manager comes back there and they go, 17 minutes i go yeah and that's it and they go it doesn't matter they're gonna pay you anyway because no one got the refund right and it's a door deal so fuck it only a couple times that happens okay couple yeah yeah macone do do yourself a favor right now since you've been so quiet and polite why don't you say something nice to our guests because I know you're a fan. So you can go say something nice and that's it.

I mean, it's just-

That'll be it.

Thank you so much.

I appreciate it.

Yeah, that's it.

You give him a little bit.

You give him a little bit.

You don't want to run too far.

And we know what you meant by that.

We do.

We do.

And so, wow, that's good.

You know what I mean?

I will say-

Can we go to the plug now?

Because he has an out and I don't know.

Oh, okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay.
we'll make sure you get gone let's get the plug well don't say it like that oh let's do it in an organic way then listen i'll do it can i just try no let him do it but hey let's let's see we can edit it so we can feed off of McCone.

It's so good to see you, man.

What do you got coming up?

Well, okay, you can keep that.

But then when we're going through the tape,

let's see how this works.

You want two versions?

Yeah, two versions.

All right, all right.

Show them both.

Okay, go ahead.

Well, I'm going to do my version.

Yeah, go ahead.

That's what I'm saying. Go ahead.

What the fuck?

Thank you. Oh, you want two versions? Yeah, two versions.
All right, so. Yeah, show them both.
Okay, go ahead. Well, I'm going to do my version.
Yeah, go ahead. That's what I'm saying.
Go ahead. What the fuck? So, you know, being on one of the top podcasts in the world, right? I just see it fitting, since you have a podcast listening audience, to let them know that I have a podcast as well.
It's called pete and sebastian show which we referred to earlier it's myself and pete corialli uh sometimes we do the guests sometimes we have a fun banter like you guys are doing right now um he's kind of like a beer and peanut guy i'm a wine and cheese guy so kind of an odd couple vibe on top of that i just got done uh done filming a show called Bookie, which is on Max, season two. Season two.
So if you guys like gambling and comedy, it kind of marries the two. And last but not least, I have a tour that starts in Norfolk, Virginia, July 11th, which is 94 shows over eight months.
Wow. It Ain't Right.
And Pete's going with me. Pat McGann's going with me.
Wow. And we're going to rip through the United States and have a ball.
So that's kind of what's going on in my life. But I couldn't be more grateful that you guys asked me to come here and do your show.
And it's just a pleasure to see all your success and hard work paying off. One last thing.
Class. One last thing, though.
And I have to tell you, something distracted me. I didn't do the I thing.
I didn't do the I thing. No, no, something else you else you did.
Is it me? What the fuck are you doing here? I tell you.

What was throwing me off a little bit was the white fingernail polish.

I don't know if it's polish or paste or what the hell you got,

but I was thrown off many a times with the white fingernails.

Is that your new look?

What is that?

I haven't seen that from you.

Yeah, yeah.

You haven't seen a lot of things.

Do you get those?

From where I'm sitting,

that looks like a satin finish.

It's gels, right?

No, I'm talking about the others.

You getting buffed out?

I got buffed out, yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

And it's so funny that you bring it up sam because um i learned to do manicures from you thank you yeah yeah he wants so it's very interesting that's something that i learned from you it's like you know that commercial son you know i mean what is this marijuana where'd you learn it from you dad right right so I learned that this behavior from you and yet you try to use it against me in a weird way don't lean back lean back please lean back it's aggressive and lean back a little bit okay thank you alright what's up dude I'm flattered that you started taking care of your hands. How about your feet?

He's going to show you they're polished as well.

They're polished as well, Sebastian.

You asked for it.

Yeah.

Look at that.

Yeah, listen.

I did might have had some influence on you getting manicures and pedicures.

But for the record, I never had anything other than a clear coat or or a buff but you can't buy your kid a guitar and be shocked when he becomes a rock star you know you're showing him the ropes the kid's got a he's got a fly right it gave me like you gave yourself a ukulele and you learned how to play the electric guitar and now that's what he's doing that's what he's doing i i thought it was tape at first almost like michael jackson like yeah oh yeah yeah it's not that yeah it's not that it's it's shell okay i don't know what the fuck that is right but anyway dude you know i've never had

one yeah men don't do that okay i also want to let's just throw this out you want to get